#contrary to what the gaming blog might suggest i do not have the time to play a lot of games

[itsharleystuff]

↳ II. 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘓 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘐𝘋

Read part one here.

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dbf!Joel Miller x afab!fem reader (no outbreak au).

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.6k (once again, I’m sorry)

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after your steamy encounter with Joel during your homecoming party, things between you have been stagnant. Although, fate seems to be on your side when both Sarah and your dad have to leave town for a short while.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), sex, p in v sex, Joel hits it from behind, blowjobs, some teasing, a bit of spanking, pet names (darling, sweetheart, honey), unprotected sex (pls do not attempt), cum eating, taking nsfw photos, Joel tries to be dom but fails, age gap (reader is twenty four, Joel is late forties), reader is kind of a brat, fluff and feelings (yes, this is a warning), alcohol consumption, brief mention of family death. Barely edited, sorryyy. No use of y/n.

—A/N: this can be read as a stand-alone but I suggest reading the previous part for a better understanding. Btw, there’s a couple of Easter eggs from the game in this! Also— I tried making a moodboard and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ll probably stick to gifs in the future, lol.

“I like Indiana Jones," you babble, taking a sip from your coffee without looking at anyone in specific. "I was twelve and in love with Harrison Ford..."

"Okay, so that's one movie we're definitely not going to watch." Sarah chimes in, lazily chewing on her scrambled eggs. "How do you feel about Robert Pattinson?"

"That depends," you reply, moving your head side to side in a contemplative manner, "are we talking twilight or Harry Potter?"

You hear your dad snort on the other side of the table and see Joel chuckling beside him. Sarah crosses both arms over her chest and raises a brow at them. “What's so funny?"

"Nothing," your dad clears his throat and side-eyes his friend. "Just thought you two were a bit old for those crappy vampire movies. Maybe watch-"

"Forgive me, but I don't think it's a good idea to take recommendations from either of you," you cut him off, leaning back on your chair. "You're both obsessed with die hard, think The Godfather is incredibly complex and in your spare time watch construction programs. We'll be fine on our own."

"Touché..."

It's been three weeks since your homecoming party, and ever since then it has become a habit to have breakfast together every weekend. Today, Saturday, it was the Miller's turn to cook, which consequently had you and your father sitting at their table. As of now, you and Sarah were discussing your movie night, which had to be postponed due to her road-trip to San Antonio— apparently, she and her friend Ellie were going to visit some college campuses there.

It's also been three weeks since that little, hot encounter you and Joel had in your kitchen. And, contrary to your better judgement, both of you were more than eager to spend some extra time alone. Things since then had been uneasy, specially when being surrounded by others; always worried that someone might notice those stolen looks you'd share or sense the palpable tension that rose when you would stand too close to each other.

You try not to think about it. Except when you do. A swirl of memories would come flooding your mind in the most inappropriate moments, creating that heat that made you remember exactly how his fingers felt inside you, his tongue between your folds, the sloppy kisses and that feral, hungry look in his eyes while eating you out, touching you like you were the most precious thing on earth.

"How about pride and prejudice?" the girl wonders, standing up to clean her dishes and snapping you back to reality.

"Shit, I love period dramas!" your dad shoots you a reproachful glare at your language, but you chose to ignore it. "As a matter of fact, most of my designs are inspired by the Victorian and regency eras."

"Oh, yeah," Sarah recalls, "I remember I read about it in one of your blogs. Dad showed it to me, by the way..." Joel clears his throat loudly, making her giggle.

Although she had mentioned it before, it was still kind of weird that he acknowledged your work. At first you thought it was merely because he wanted to connect with you somehow, but lately he'd been asking if he could see your new sketches and would let you borrow some old magazines he had around the house. Your best friend, Sophie, mentioned he might've been trying to show his interest in you subconsciously. And she was that one psychic friend who believed in zodiac signs and angel numbers, so you decided to believe her.

In that moment, your dad receives an incoming call on his cellphone; he excuses himself and heads to the living room. Your eyes lock with Joel's, and the fact that he was uninhibitedly staring back at you drew a smug smile on your face.

"Are you interested in fashion, Mr. Miller?" he sulks out a dry 'no', but you could see him fidget with his watch nervously. "Pity. I thought maybe you could model some of my male designs."

Sarah genuinely cracks up at your comment, slapping one hand on the table. "You want dad to pose for you? Seriously?"

"Why not? I brought my Polaroid camera, I can get some very nice shots." You were partially joking, but deep down you just wanted to see how he'd react.

"I mean, I know dad's got his charm with women, or so they keep saying-"

"No way anyone says that," he rambles.

"But the idea of him modeling is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard."

The fact was that you didn't want to take pictures of him so anyone else could see them. You wanted them exclusively for yourself. A couple of naughty Polaroids to keep around for whenever you were aching for him —which has been nearly every fucking night since your arrival—.

"It was a silly idea," you finally agree, shrugging. Joel stands to take his things to the sink. "Do you really have to leave for the weekend? You're like, my only friend here."

"Uh, about that..." she leans in towards you and you can practically smell a scheme on her. "Would you be mad if I gave your number to someone?"

You can quite literally feel the man standing behind you tense up. "Huh?"

"Yeah, like... To a guy." She moves in her place, but there's still no answer from you. "He's my English teacher. His name is Will and he's super smart, young, really funny and very handsome, I might add. I believe he can be your new male model." Sarah adds that last bit with a grin.

When you turn your head to see Joel, there was a deep scowl etching on his face, his body remaining still as a stone.

"I don't know... As friends, maybe." You weren't sure why, but the idea of meeting anyone new didn't really sound appealing.

She opened her mouth to say something but before she could actually do so, your dad walked in again. He appeared upset, gesturing nonsense and muttering impassively.

"What's wrong?" your tone comes out concerned.

"I have a meeting in Boston," he sighed, resting a hand on your shoulder apologetically. "Apparently it's urgent and I have to catch the next flight if I want to be there by nightfall."

"Oh, don't worry," you smile at him warmly. "I understand. Besides, I'm an adult. I can manage a weekend by myself."

He nods, still seemingly aloof. "I know but- I just wanted to spend some more time with you."

And of course you wanted that too, but saying it out loud could literally bring him to quit his job. He was always very extreme when it came down to you.

"What time d’you leave?" his friend asks him.

"Half past four. Why?"

"I can drop Sarah off at Ellie's and then drive you to the airport, if you'd like." Such a caring friend, Joel Miller. So selfless. Helping your dad out, attending his daughter's every special need...

"Yeah, thanks a lot, man. Take care of my little girl while I'm away."

You see his eyes gleam with a mix of unknown emotions, "Will do."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The last few days had been no less than torment for Joel. Each moment that went by in which he didn't get a chance to be near you had him losing his mind. Badly. And it wasn't necessarily a physical thing— not always, at least.

Every morning, he would wake up and go to work, knowing for certain that when he comes back home he'll find you hanging around with Sarah or sitting out on your porch with a sketching notebook on your lap.

He liked to guess what you'd be doing.

Would you be playing board games with his daughter? Watching a movie or baking desserts? Maybe you were thrift shopping with your dad or simply going to the mall. And later on, when he finally gets to see you again, you'd tell him all about it.

Joel also liked to imagine what kind of clothes you'd be wearing. One thing he noticed is that you never stick to one particular style or aesthetic. One day you could be wearing pastel sundresses with ribbons in your hair; the next one could be long, black skirts paired with basic tank tops and multiple necklaces, or even something more extravagant, depending on your mood.

Seeing you was an experience— one that he could never get tired of. It's like every time he sets his eyes on you there's a certain color palette that changes constantly, or the feeling of gathering all your favorite songs into one playlist and then hitting the shuffle button. He never knows what to expect. Hence why he had given up on trying to relate you to the silly things around; like seasons, animals, artists or foods. Instead, he started associating you with feelings.

You were creative, unique and incredibly fearless. In a way, you made him feel uneasy, excited, thrilled, confident and many more emotions at the same time. If he had to describe you in one word, he'd say evoking.

Oh, how you pestered his brain.

He hated how much he thought about you, and how little guilt he felt from it.

Right now he was sitting on the drivers seat of his truck, waiting at the airport's parking lot. You asked him if you could walk your dad to his corresponding gate and he agreed. The downside: it had started to rain, probably not too bad for your dad's flight to be delayed but enough for your clothes to get soaked on your way back.

"Shit, I'm sorry," you muttered, shutting the passenger's door behind you. “The seats are gonna get all wet..."

"Here," Joel takes off his jacket to place it over your shoulders.

It feels warm and it smells like him, "Thanks."

He starts the car without saying anything else, keeping his eyes glued to the road. You, on the other hand, could not stop staring at him. Now that no one else was around, there was no shame in admiring his side profile, the way his muscles flexed and his hands grasped the wheel. There was something inherently attractive about men driving, but- Jesus... This image had your mind roaming around dark places.

Suddenly, realization sinks in— you're alone.

Alone with him.

"I, uh..." he taps the wheel with his thumb, still avoiding your gaze. "I wanted to take you out for dinner. The weather kinda ruined it."

The corners of your mouth hitch up in a silly smile. "Too bad. I really didn't want to be alone tonight."

Joel hums, appearing somewhat distraught. In reality, he was fighting for his life. The clothes you chose to wear today were not fitted for the rain; denim mini-skirt, high pair of boots and a white top that complimented your upper body. He tried not to look at the raindrops rolling down your thighs or note how transparent your shirt has become, forcing himself to stare at your hands and the many rings that decorated your fingers, seeing there the one he gifted you.

"How about you come over to my place?" you suggest, trying to catch his attention. "I'll need a shower and a change of clothes but... Maybe we can do something afterwards."

His tongue darts out to lick his lips, still avoiding your gaze, "Like what?"

This time your voice goes lower, a smirk spreads across your face and something in your eyes flickers; a darker, sensual spark.

"Oh, you know..." your hand carefully comes to rest on his knee. His thigh tenses but he doesn't say or do anything to push you away. "Whatever you want."

He swallows hard, feeling the pads of your fingers run circles on his leg, your nails mildly scratching over the jeans in a way that raises goosebumps on his skin and eases his nerves.

"I've got a better idea," he says, keeping his tone calm —barely—. "Why don't you come to my house instead?"

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Sure, but- what about my clothes?"

And then he smiles cockily, as if this had been his plan all along, "Wear mine."

Well, there was absolutely no way you were going to turn him down. With a bit more boldness, you slide your hand a few inches up his inner thigh, still rubbing soothing patterns. His jaw clenched, but remained silent and apparently unbothered.

"Joel?" his name rolled off your tongue sweetly, in a way only you knew how to. He uttered a 'hm?' in retort. "Did you miss me?"

"I've seen you nearly every day," he answers playfully.

You laugh, stopping your movements and simply resting your palm there. "So... No?"

"Didn't say that, darlin'." The truck suddenly stops at a red light as he exhales heavily, giving in to you at last. "But I'll let you guess."

A push and pull game, like a cat chasing a mouse. Your smirk widens. "I don't think so. Not as much as I have."

His eyes scan your body from head to toe, the way you sit with your legs slightly parted, back laying flat against the seat and face turned towards him with heated cheeks and low gaze. Unexpectedly, your hand draws back from his lap as you start looking through your purse and a frown forms on his face, baffled by the loss of contact.

"Which is why..." you take the Polaroid camera out and see a whole shift in his eyes, like he's about to burst in laughter. "I brought this."

"No," despite his categorical denial, you still held the object up.

"You have a green light," he curses under his breath and you hold back a chuckle. "Just let me have one, please."

He sighs in defeat, "Why'd you want that?"

The rain had started to settle down but the air was still pretty cold, all that could be heard besides your own voices being the drops that crashed against the car.

"Cause you're handsome," he rolls his eyes sarcastically. "And I like you."

Hell, you were always so straightforward. It made his heart jump inside his chest, wondering if it was gonna burst out.

"You won't like me as much once you meet that Will dude," Joel prattles through gritted teeth, remembering his daughter's suggestion from earlier.

"The guy Sarah mentioned?" your brows furrow subtly. "Why? What's up with him?"

He yanks his head to the side, glancing over at you for a second, "Nothin'. Just thinkin' out loud." In spite of your puzzled expression, he decides to grant your wish. "I'll let ya' take it. But only if I get one in return."

Your lips purse in a smile, "As many as you like, Miller."

He doesn't say anything in response, but his grin doesn’t fade either and you managed to capture it on paper. The image slowly started to become visible and your first thought was how well it captured the whole 'Joel Miller' essence. It was a simple photo of him driving with one hand on the wheel and the other arm thrown lazily over the backseat. That denim shirt hugged his arms exquisitely, the rolled-up sleeves adding to his appeal. He was looking at you when it was taken, so you could see more than half his face— and the way he was grinning, you couldn't help but think he appeared so much younger when he did that. The entire thing felt so much like him: snuggly, blue, genuine and you absolutely loved it.

"There," you show it to him as he started to pull over. "Isn't it nice?"

"Just keep it to yourself, aight?" the man grumbles.

"F'course," with a spark of joy, you slide the photo inside your wallet. "Wouldn't want anyone else peeking at that gorgeous smile of yours. That's a treasure of my own."

"Shut up-" he rumbled, turning his face the other way and opening the door, seemingly flustered. And out of all the amazing things you've accomplished in your life, making this rugged looking man blush was probably your greatest pride.

When he helps you out of the car, holding your hand firmly and cleaving to your waist; you wanted nothing more than to kiss him under the pouring rain, wildly and unhinged, just like last time. But this particular spot possibly had too many curious eyes of which you were unaware of. He obviously doesn't need to guide you through his house, since you already know nearly every corner of it, except for one. His bedroom. And apparently, that's the precise location he's taking you to.

"Please excuse the mess," he says, placing one hand on the door handle, "I haven't had a woman in here for ages, so I'm afraid I probably won't live up to your expectations."

"Joel," you snort, "it's been a decade and a half since you last dated anyone. Trust me, my expectations are pretty low."

He scowls, squinting both eyes. "You didn't have to say it like that..."

It's honestly better than you thought. His bed is nicely done, brown bedsheets striking as warm and welcoming; the walls were painted a pretty, light shade of blue that matched the grayish curtains on the left. The drawers in front of his windows had a bunch of stuff scattered on top of them: a CD player along with a few music discs, some papers, a cap and a pair of reading glasses, batteries, one screwdriver and a framed picture of him and Sarah at the beach. Meanwhile, the nightstand simply had one lamp and an alarm-clock on it. Over the bed's headboard were one poster of a music festival, the image of a landscape and an advert of what you guessed must've been a club, that read 'tacos and beer" on it. The door to the bathroom was on the right.

Messy, yet tidy at the same time. Very Joel-like.

"No way..." you murmur, eyeing the guitar beside his bed. "All this time I thought it was a myth."

"What?" he asks from behind you.

"Dad told me you used to serenade girls back in college and that you wanted to become a singer." A giggle escapes your lips, unable to contain it. "I remember saying he was surely making it up, but..."

"I didn't- I mean..." he clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck and feeling his chest swell with your laughter. "Oh, shut up!"

"Make me." The lingering, mischievous smile on your face made his heart pound and blood rush. "Come on, Miller. Shut me up, I dare you."

His eyes darken, but you don't falter for a second. He doesn't move a muscle, solely watching as you took off his jacket and threw it to the bed.

"You dare me?" his voice goes drops an octave, following your every move closely. "That's rather bold of you, sweetheart."

"Mhm," without breaking eye contact, you start taking off your boots. "And yet you're doing nothing about it."

Joel starts walking towards you slowly, holding your gaze intently. Your hair was damp and your clothes were still wet; it didn't really matter that the air was chilly cause you still felt warm all over. He soon invades your space, cupping your chin in his big hand and lifting your head upwards.

"Well, you're awfully quiet now, aren't ya'?" his hot breath fanned across your cheeks, the gap between your faces being basically invisible.

"I'm just waiting for you to start singing some random song by Alabama or Johnny Cash," you scoff. "Like a good ol' Texan ma-"

He doesn't let you finish the sentence, abruptly crashing his lips into your own. Joel isn't delicate about it and the fervor with which he kisses you makes your body stumble a few steps backwards. Your shoulders hit the wall and he pins you against it as your mouths find a way to mold perfectly, at a much nicer pace than last time. You throw your hands around his neck and let your fingers tangle in the curls around his nape, tasting the fresh mint on his lips. His hands rest on your hips, chests pressed together as the temperature kept rising with each second that went on.

You part your lips in order to grant him deeper access, feeling his tongue slide past your teeth and meeting your own in an ardent, heated way. It was perfect, until he broke apart, looking down at you with an asserted confidence.

"You really know nothing 'bout country music," he says in between shaky breaths, beaming. "S'that what you wanted?"

"Yes," you manage to say.

"Then say 'thank you'," Joel indicates petulantly, stroking your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. "Go on, don't be such a brat."

You blink twice, your brain still buzzing with the sensation of mouth on you, barely capable of processing anything else. "But I want more..."

"You'll take what I give you."

Shit, when he said it like that- "Thank you."

"That's my girl," he straightened his back, opening the door next to you. "Now, get your pretty ass in the shower before you catch a cold, 'kay?" You roll your eyes and hear him chuckle. "There's clean towers under the sink. You can take some clothes from my drawers, or Sarah's if you feel like it. I don't think she'll mind."

"Understood." He can tell you're annoyed, which he finds funny.

"Don't be mad at me, angel." Joel tugs a strand of hair behind your ear. "Promise I'll make it up to you."

You nod distractedly, lost in the cocky spark on his eyes. "I'm not mad. Just hoping you fuck me real good if you're making me wait for it."

Your words almost make him choke on his own saliva. "Sweetheart, you're making it real hard for me to be a gentleman."

It makes your ego boost, in a sense. "I'll be quick. Can you get something for dinner, though? I'm starving."

"Shit, darlin', pick a struggle," he mocks as you enter the bathroom, "are you horny or hungry?"

"Oh, you jerk!"

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

6:15 pm.

You take a quick glance at Joel's alarm clock once you come out of the shower. It's been little more than an hour since your dad's plane took off. You hope the rain hadn’t made his flight any difficult, cause the weather turned out to be quite a blessing for you.

The cozy feeling of a nice, warm shower after being soaked under the rain was starting to settle in your bones, making your limbs relax. Then you realize, you smell like Joel. The scent of his soap, his shampoo, even his laundry detergent, is all over you. It's intoxicating in the most fantastic way possible, making your insides burn with a thrill of excitement. You took one on his flannels, —dark green with red stripes— and decided to wear it without anything besides your underwear. It was pretty big anyway, and covered just the necessary areas.

You slid your socks back on when all of the sudden you hear the faint sound of music from the floor beneath. Curious, you walk towards the noise, finding out Joel was in the kitchen, crouched down in front of the opened fridge. The CD player that you saw earlier on his room was now on the table, playing a melody that you recognized almost immediately.

"I like this song," you say, leaning against the wall. "That's Billy Idol, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he recalls, taking out a medium sized plastic box from the fridge. "Tommy made that mix. There's plenty of hits from past decades. I think you'll enjoy it."

The man finally turns around to face you and his face fails to hide his surprise. The way his prying eyes sweep your body in detail, taking his time particularly on your bare thighs, almost made you feel self-conscious if it weren't for that shadow of desire that crossed his eyes and the way his nostrils flared from a contained breath.

"How is he, by the way?" you ask, still on the subject. "Haven't seen him in a while."

"Who?" he clearly forgot what he had just said.

"Your brother," you call to mind, "how is he?"

Joel sets the box down on the table and drifts his gaze back to your face. "Fine, I guess. Last time we spoke he said he'd go to Dallas." He takes two glasses from the pantry and what it looks like a bottle of wine. "I-uh... There isn't any real food in here besides those strawberries and chocolates that this guy brought for Sarah. Should I order something?"

You shake your head and walk over to him, "This will do. Won't she get mad if we eat them, though?"

"Don't think so," he replies, pouring the red liquid into the glasses. "I'll blame you if she does."

"Oh, okay-" you cock an eyebrow at him and hold back a giggle. "Thought you didn't like wine."

"It's a fancy drink," he explains, "s'only for special occasions."

"Oh?" you take a sip from it, eyes boring into his. "And what's tonight's?"

Joel smiles conceitedly, jutting his chin out. "I've got you all to myself."

You snort, feeling the heat soar across your cheeks. He takes the snack box and with a sly gesture asks you to follow him into the living room, the melodic sound of the eighties tune turning to background noise as you do. The only lights on are the ones in the kitchen and the lamps beside the couch, shining a perfect light on his features.

"Come here," he calls, the leather squealing under his weight when he sat down. You set the glass down on the coffee table in front of the tv, going to sit next to him. "No, sweetheart," he grabs your waist and pulls you closer to him. "I meant here."

His legs part slightly, making room for you to sit on his lap. Your smile broadened toward a soft chuckle, settling yourself on his thigh. Joel immediately gets his hands on you, one on your lower back and the other merely resting on your upper leg.

"So, who's this mystery man that's been giving gifts to your darling daughter?" he scoffs in response, reaching for a chocolate from the box.

"Honestly? No fuckin' clue." You hum in surprise, drinking from your wine. "She never involves with them, thank god, and once they meet me they never come by again."

"I see,” you muse, “you're the overprotective type," you bite on a strawberry next.

"I wouldn't say it like that..." he sees the sarcastic glimpse on your expression and holds back laughter. "It's a dad reflex, I can't control it."

"Right, sounds convincing."

You stretch your arm behind the couch, setting your elbow and laying the side of your face on your palm. His face is very close to yours but all you do is simply stare at each other; Joel's big brown eyes glimmer with infatuation. “Can I ask you a question, sweetheart?" he asks lowly. "Somethin' more serious."

You wince in confusion, but still nod, "Sure."

He inhales sharply, taking a couple of seconds to actually say what he meant to. “Why are you here?" your frown deepens at his words. "I mean- Texas. I know you said you wanted to make up for the lost time with your old man, but... I feel like there's something else you're not saying."

It takes a minute for you to really sink in on his question. You nearly gulp down the alcohol before setting the glass down, avoiding his ardent gaze.

"Honestly?" you sigh, "There's so much to unpack that I don't even know where to start."

"Try." Although he didn't sound harsh, the effort he was asking you to put in wasn't something of your liking.

"Well, first of all," you meditate, clearing your throat, "the city didn't feel like home since my mom passed. It made me realize how much I missed here." He nods comprehensively, caressing the exposed skin of your thigh in a reassuring manner. "And then there's this- fear. Yeah, I guess it is fear... I've managed to accomplish so much in such short time that it actually fucking scares me to go any further and see that-" you stop, sighing and shaking your head. "That I've reached my limit."

For a moment, there's just silence floating between you, all that could be heard were the rain and a song by tears for fears.

"Darlin', look at me," he asks softly but you can't bring yourself to do it, embarrassed by your confession. "Please, let me see those pretty eyes of yours."

And it's practically impossible for you to deny him anything. Specially when he asks so nicely, when his hand grabs the side of your face so gently— you give in, just like that.

"You're afraid to succeed because you don't know what to do with yourself afterwards. Is that it?" You nod faintly. "Can I speak frankly?"

"I have a feeling you will anyway-"

"Yeah. A bit of tough love, but you need’a hear it." Joel strokes your cheek sweetly and you get shivers from the affection in the action. "Sweetheart, I know what you're going through. Shit feels like it's either moving too fast or not moving at all. And I know how scary that is. Trust me, there's still plenty of time for you."

You square your eyes to his, "Sure, bet you were frightened when you were twenty four."

"Terrified," he spoke truthfully. "Everyone I knew was getting married, moving out or working their asses off."

"And you?" he grunts, taking a strawberry from the box. "What were you doing?" Joel eats the fruit patiently, simply staring at you silently. "Come ooon, don't play hard to get."

"Gotta promise you won't laugh."

It's a tricky business for someone who makes fun of everything, and yet you simply reply: "I swear."

"Fine," he rasps out in fake annoyance. "I used to make my own guitars and- sell 'em sometimes. I'd also teach guitar lessons and horseback riding."

Your eyes widen in surprise and something flutters in your stomach. "Shit, that's actually pretty cool!"

He groans, rolling his eyes at the same time, "I told you not to make fun of me."

"No, no- I mean it." You shuffle on his lap, resting a hand on his chest. "And you sound passionate about it... Why'd you stop?"

The man shrugs his shoulders, tightening his grip on your waist. "It went well for a couple years but I eventually had to get something more solid. More so after Sarah was born." He takes a deep breath in, the smell of his own shampoo on your hair hitting his nostrils and catching him off-guard.

"You should teach me," you suggest with a smug grin. "I always wanted to learn."

"What, guitar or horseback riding?" he wonders, suddenly nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.

"Guitar. I'm pretty good at riding, if you must know." You feel him chuckle against your body, his facial hair scratching your sensitive skin.

"We'll see 'bout that," his voice comes out husky as he starts kissing along your jawline.

Joel's common sense jumped out the window long ago, but the string of self control that kept him sane all this time couldn't bear the weight of you wriggling on top of him, semi-naked and with his scent all over you. Something primal took over him, a glimpse of possessiveness that he didn't believe himself capable of feeling towards you specifically. He wanted you to wear that flannel around town so people would look at you and know who it belonged to; whose bed you've been visiting. He wanted you to smell of his cologne so other men would know that you weren't free for them.

Your fingers run through his soft curls, messing his hair while he grabs the back of your thighs and manhandles you onto straddling his lap. He nips and licks over all your vulnerable areas, making your breathing start to labour. How could he possibly know this well the easiest ways to have you so desperate this quick? Leaning into his touch, yearning for him even with the smallest action? He wasn't aware of the answer himself, he just knew.

Joel instinctively throws his head back when you tug at his hair and seize the opportunity to duck down and lay a sweet kiss on his forehead. His hands coast up your thighs, splaying his fingers on your ass to squeeze the flesh. You hold back a giggle, kissing the curve of his nose before catching his soft, soft lips on yours.

He slides an arm around your waist, pressing his palm between your shoulder blades to keep you as close as possible. You feel your nipples harden when his tongue ran along your bottom lip— tauntingly slow, until you allowed him full access to your mouth, letting him taste the sweet mixture of wine and strawberries on your tongue. But his vehemence didn't make you any less eager, kissing him back with just as much passion and vigor, sinking your teeth into his bottom lip and mildly pulling at it with minor strength.

The action ignites a fire within him, seeing you on top, feeling your fingers roam around his cheekbones and along his jawline like you knew just how much fucking power you had over him... It was a new sensation, a new kind of desire he didn't recognize at first.

Joel's lips were swollen and his own excitement was starting to feel evident underneath you, which created a blunt ache between your legs. He usually appeared so big and mean, with those broad shoulders and permanent scowl on his face. Now, though... He seemed like he'd let you do just about anything with him, to him— it didn't really matter as long as you kept staring at him like that; through heavy lids, eyes sparkling with a profound, desperate need that spoke without words, saying 'only you get to see this side of me'.

You start grinding your hips against his, rubbing your clothed core above his growing boner in small, calculated circles as you shore yourself up with a hand to his chest. He merely admired you from his position, letting you have your way with him; all the while his gaze reflected patience, like he could take over the situation any second but enjoyed watching you lead.

"Joel," you call his name, leaning forward to kiss his chin, moving your lips all the way down his throat and feeling the nice scratch of his beard. Your hands grab the collar of his shirt as you come up to whisper in his ear: "Stay still."

Panting, he narrows his eyes in confusion, "What?" Though you don't give him enough time to figure out your words, getting back on your feet and parting his legs further with a light thump of your knee.

He observes your every move quietly, amused by your confidence and determination when you drop to your knees in front of him. Joel's cocky expression doesn't sway, not even when you drag your nails across his inner thigh, inching closer towards his very visible hard on. However, his body betrays him, selling a whole different story. His muscles tense, his jaw clenches and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

"Stop being such a fucking tease," he hissed, refusing to place his hands on you.

"Or what?" you drawl, coming to rest your palm on his crotch. A simple, feathery touch that made his pulse accelerate.

"You'll regret it," he warns grimly.

"S'that so?" you start to unbuckle his belt, way too slow for his liking, tugging down the zipper of his jeans. "I think I can handle it."

He smirked, his hand slithers to the back of your scalp and forces you to lock eyes with him. "Don't test your luck, sweetheart."

You pout mockingly, doing exactly the opposite of what he was saying while dragging down the fabric just enough to free his cock. Your new found courage falters for a second, finally seeing him in all his size and girth. He was, by all means, a big one, the amount of precome oozing on the tip telling you just how much he loved being teased, despite whatever words came out of his mouth. The mere sight of it sent a new heated wave of slick between your thighs.

Joel mimicked your expression scornfully, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone, "Too big for ya'?"

"None of that," you wrap your hand around the base, not really applying any pressure; though the sole warmth of your touch was enough to give him goosebumps, "we'll make it fit."

"That's my girl."

With a chuckle, you lower your head to kiss the inside of his thigh, the pads of your fingers softly grazing the veins on his length. His whole body shudders, leaking onto your hand and letting out a subtle gasp as you spread kisses all along his shaft. Your eyes peer into his soul when you gently place your lips to the slit, tasting the salty precome as he calls your name in what resembles a desperate plea. In a swift move, you finally take the tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and deciding to put an end to his suffering. He mutters a gruff 'fuck' when you attempt to take him farther, pumping what you couldn't yet fit and snaking your free hand under the hem of his denim shirt to caress the soft skin of his belly.

"Shit, darlin'-" you feel the heaviness of his palm simply resting on the back of your head, not pushing or forcing you in any way, but allowing you to adapt to his size. "The only way to get ya' to stop talking is with a mouth full of cock, ain't it?"

You hum in response and the sensation is completely enrapturing for Joel, his callused fingers tangle in your hair to ground him as he releases a shaky breath. It's a huge challenge to focus on anything else but him; your mind whirring with a familiar dizziness while you bob your head up and down his shaft, intoxicated by the taste of him, the smell of him and every sound that escapes his lips, making your clit throb with need and your arousal pool in your panties, uncomfortably sticking to your skin.

For Joel, it's overwhelming.

He's never really been the noisy type during sex but heck— you were doing it for him. He's a panting mess above you, his hips buck ever so slightly in tandem with your mouth, trying not to lose it entirely. Your spit drools down his dick and the way your dark, dilated pupils sparkle with lust as you hollow your cheeks around him pulls a groan deep from his throat.

"That's it, you can take it," he coaxes when your nose nudges his pubic bone, the head of his cock hitting the back of your throat. "Good fuckin' girl, just like that..."

Enticed with the praise, you keep repeating the motion, sliding one hand to hold his hipbone for support and feeling his burning skin under your touch whilst the other plays with his balls to aid his pleasure. The obscene slick sounds mix in the air with his hoarse cursing, the rain and the faint music of kings of leon, sex on fire.

He looks so good from this angle, chest rising and falling with heavy, irregular breaths, head thrown back and both hands on you, keeping you angled for his cock. Drops of precum roll on your tongue as you keep changing the pace at which your head moves, tears welling in your eyes and jaw going slack. Shit, you're aching for him so bad that the only thing you can think of to relieve the need is squeeze your thighs together in order to create some friction. And it works, the action eliciting a moan from you that makes him fucking whimper your name.

"Bet your cunt's drippin' just from sucking my dick," he muffles a laugh that turns halfway into a sigh when you pay special attention to the ruddy, sensitive tip. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum-"

You can tell he is by the way his cock twitches in your mouth; his spine straightens at the heat gathering between his legs and he tries to pull you off against your will, uttering a warning that you chose to ignore. Joel's lips part in a throaty groan when he reaches his high, feeling the outline of your fingers digging harshly on his hip, your hand rubbing his length and your tongue lapping at his slit, taking in every single drop of his release until he's spent, right before pressing a soft kiss to it that makes him shiver. And hell— contrary to others, he tasted good; warm and thick, coating your senses.

His heart beats aggressively against his ribs and he loosens his grip on your hair, allowing you to get back on your feet while resting your hands on his waist. Although his eyes are barely open, he can quite literally feel your smile when you chastely kiss his lips. He chuckles breathlessly as you sit beside him, tugging himself back in his pants.

"We're not done yet," he says, grabbing the back of your knee and promptly engulfing your leg around his waist, maneuvering your body so that your back rests against the couch and he's crouched down, caged in the middle of your thighs. "I said I'd make it up to you and I will."

"Well, you've certainly got some stamina in you, old man," you poke fun at him, raising a hand to move those rebellious curls away from his eyes.

Joel smiles, caressing your cheek affectionately. "Always got somethin' to say, don't ya'?"

"Oh, Mr. Miller," you coo, enveloping your arms around his neck, "we both know just how much you love to hear me talk."

"Mhm," he leans down to kiss the corner of your mouth, "yes, I reckon you're right."

His big hand covers nearly half of your face as he holds you still, crashing your lips together. He kisses you deeply, vigorously, in a way that makes you wonder if you could possibly drown in a person's essence. His other palm slides between your bodies to start undoing the buttons of the flannel —his flannel— you were wearing. You can't help but whine when he draws back, watching you from above.

"Joel-" blood rushes through your ears and can feel your cheeks warm up as he takes in the sight of you, his fingers coasting down your throat and to the valley of your breasts, licking his lips when he sees your hardened nipples.

"You're fuckin' beautiful," he speaks freely, without holding back emotion, and it makes your heart skip a beat. "Such a sweet, sweet girl I can't get enough of."

"Then take a picture," you purr, "it'll last longer."

He stares at you through a measuring squint, a lighthearted smile forming on his face. "Since you insist." It takes a moment for you to realize what he means, until you finally recall that there's actually a camera inside your purse; one that he reaches for. "If I remember correctly... You said I could take as many as I like."

You lightly squeeze his waist with your thighs, feeling your whole body burn with anticipation. "I did say that..."

"Let's just pray your dad won't find these hanging around," he ponders, turning your face slightly to the side. "He'll have my head."

"And that would be terrible..."

He takes the Polaroid with one hand, the other coming to grope your breast as he backs off for a better angle, ultimately deciding to wrap his fingers loosely around your neck instead, purely holding you there. You glance at the lens, making your best "fuck me" eyes added to a cheeky smile, hearing him curse under his breath prior to snapping the picture.

"You've got the prettiest fucking tits I've even seen, sweetheart," he snarls, laying a palm flat over your lower abdomen while he waited for the photo.

"Has anyone ever told you you've got such a marvelous way with words?" he suppressed a laugh, safeguarding the picture on the back pocket of his jeans.

"Just a few women." Before you can even begin to act annoyed, he sets the camera aside and leans down to kiss your collarbones, the pad of his thumb kneading circles around your sensitive nipple. "Look at you, honey," he murmurs, "you're so easy to please... Or is it just because of me?"

You're panting, your back arching in response to his constant ministrations, every inch of your skin blushing under his attention. "I think it's-" you're cut off by the sudden need to swallow when he sucks a mark on the vulnerable skin between your breasts, "you."

His body vibrates with a laugh and you feel his hand palm your clothed sex, dragging his tongue over your delicate nipple, gently nibbling at it. You screw your eyes shut and let a single, fluttery moan slide past your lips when his thumb nudges your clit.

"So wet just from giving head?" Joel shakes his head in fake disapproval. "Who knew you were such a horny little thing?"

You are holding onto his bicep for dear life, fearing you might collapse into oblivion if you part from his body. His index glides across your slit over the drenched cotton fabric, making you squirm beneath him.

"You- you tasted good," you babble, mind all over the place. 

"Yeah?" his chest swells with pride, "you should taste yourself, angel," his mouth travels across your abdomen, "sweetest thing I've ever had."

It's pointless trying to conjure a response, you're simply too far gone by now. He hooks your legs over his shoulders and buries his head between your thighs, flattening his tongue against the bundle of nerves. You whimper, running your fingers through his locks and bucking your hips to meet his face.

"Please," you blurt out, "Joel, please..."

"What, sweetheart?" he asks, moving the underwear aside to directly touch your clit, fondling it as he watched your slick coat his fingers. "What do you want?" But you can't conceive an answer, all that could come out of your mouth were those pathetic, desperate moans. "Use your words."

With his free hand he plays with your nipple, grabbing your breast with his entire hand. "I want you."

He tauntingly moves his fingers around your seam, refusing to go any further. "Say it again."

"I want you, Joel."

Cocky bastard.

He licks his fingers clean and starts getting off the couch, leaving you with a confused, dumbfounded expression that nearly makes him crack up.

"You didn't really believe I'd be fucking you on the couch, did ya'?" he teases, but all you can muster up is a barely audible 'oh'. "Come on, let's take this to my room. And don't forget to bring that camera of yours."

Mind still dazing, you obey his instructions, following him silently upstairs as he undoes the buttons of his shirt. For a second, he glances back at you, gifting a soft, reassuring grin before extending his arm to grab your fingers, holding your hand in a pure, intimate touch.

And just for that moment, you forget that he's actually your dad's oldest friend, that he's Sarah's father or any other thought of the sort. He's just Joel. Joel Miller, the only man that has managed to make you feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach, or that made you blush with merely a few compliments.

"Ask me to kiss you," he urges, taking the camera from your hands and carefully placing it on his bedside table, his eyesight fixed on you.

"Kiss me," you don't ask, you downright beg.

He does, though it's not like the previous times. He's tender, almost languid about it. His hands are on your bare hips while yours cup his cheeks; Joel's fingers reach to remove the flannel from your shoulders and moves his lips to the newly exposed skin, murmuring constant admirations. You feel your lungs clench and a tingly sensation on your lower belly.

"I'll take care of you, darlin'." You let the shirt slide down your arms and fall to the floor. "Gonna show you what you've been missin' out on by fooling around with those stupid boys." His words go straight to your core as he takes a step back to sit on the edge of his bed. "Take them off," he gestures to the last piece of clothing on your body.

You compel to his wish, stripping under his prying eyes while he lazily gets rid of his boots. His lips twitch in a smile when he sees the glistening mess he's made of you, promptly dragging you on top of him. Your hands lay flat on his exposed chest shortly before he switches positions, readjusting you on the middle of the bed.

"Joel, please just-" you whine when he keeps playing with your entrance, stretching you with his fingers. Your skin scorches with desire, knees weak from the growing heat on your lower body.

"Stop nagging, sweetheart," he grits through his own lust, his gaze impossibly dark. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Joel, I'm too worked up, I-" you gasp when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that particular spot that made your toes curl. "Fuck..."

"Come on, baby." He ducks down to kiss the skin behind your ear and his beard tickles nicely. "It's just the two of us now, feel free to be as loud as you need to."

His pants are undone and hanging loosely on his hips, the image being so blatantly erotic that only managed to get you more aroused as you fumble to get rid of his shirt. He chuckles at your eagerness, shrugging it out of the way and haphazardly kicking off his jeans and underwear altogether, discarding them on the floor with the rest of the clothes.

You take a second to revel on his naked figure, his tanned skin, broad shoulders and sturdy chest, the marked collarbones and every noticeable mole. His hair is messy from your fingers, a thin layer of sweat sticks some curls to his temples as his wild, hungry eyes bask in the view of your sopping pussy when he parts your shaky legs further. But the moment of appreciation is brief, both of you being edged and spurred on.

He maneuvers a hand to your lower back and aligns your hips with his, watching the way your hole drips for him, wetting his bedsheets. You're a panting mess beneath him, lightly scratching his shoulder-blades and biting on your bottom lip, looking up at him doe-eyed and all splayed out for him to take. Joel wants to tell you just how badly he's longed for this— how he's been yearning to have you so achingly bad. But right now, feelings overrun his thoughts, especially after hearing his name spilling from your lips, begging for him to take you.

"Relax, darlin'." Joel teases your slit with the head of his cock, rubbing it along your sex and coating it with your slick. Your head tilts backwards, dipping on his pillows, small whines keep spilling from your mouth. "I won't go easy on you."

"Great, cause I don't want you to-" your slurred words get muffled by the sudden feeling of intrusion as he finally buries himself in your cunt, letting out a filthy, guttural groan.

You close your eyes, feeling lightheaded and staggered from the way he was filling you up so nicely, the stretch being a tad painful at first, but the kind of pain that could only ever feel good. Then your whole body quivers from head to toe.

"That's it, you can take it," he mutters, peppering kisses to your chin and collarbones as he bottoms out. "Fuck, you feel divine-" The tight, warm grip you welcome him with resembles nothing he's ever had before. This is new, this is you.

You bear down on his cock, enveloping your legs around his waist and lifting your hips to encourage him. He holds you down with a firm grip around your neck, starting to set a pace with his hips as he draws out and then back in slowly, roughly, making your back arch. Your erect nipples brush against his strong chest and create a delightful friction that has you moaning louder than you could've expected. You're amazed by the way he thrusts into you, somehow mindful to hit every right spot inside you —needless to say that it was something that others could hardly manage before—, his pubic hair tickles the skin below your belly button, sending shivers down your spine that prompt you to drag your nails down his back.

"Look," he indicates, despite your inability to even think straight. "Look," he repeats harshly, using the hand that was on your hips to tilt your head downwards, forcing you to stare at where your bodies connected. It was obscene, the wet noises of your pussy and skin clapping against skin sounding purely pornographic. "Look at the mess you're making."

"Joel, I-" you can't form sentences properly, all your attention being focused on how good he's making you feel. "I'm so close, for god's sake..."

"Lemme help with that," he speaks breathlessly, pining your leg over the crook of his elbow to make his thrusts deeper, more precise. You cry out in bliss, feeling the heat expanding from your stomach to your legs. "Yeah, you're close, I can fuckin' feel it- fuck..."

Your walls flutter around him, squeezing his dick just right. He knows he's in too deep when you call out his name like it's the only word you can remember, when he wallows in the glorious view of your pretty face contorted in pleasure. He looses the grip on your neck and strokes your lower lip with his thumb, prodding you to keep eye contact as your orgasm washes over you. It's electrifying, a feverish kind of sensation that gratifies every nerve on your body.

He rests his forehead on your shoulder, overcame by the intense feeling of euphoria that your body was providing. You realize in that moment that the reason why Joel could fill that void so easily was because he kept prioritizing you above him. Your pleasure was his, too.

"Jesus Christ, Joel-" you mewl when he abruptly pulls out, “… Worth the wait.”

He laughs shakily, kissing your lips shortly. "Turn around, sweetheart. I want to fuck you from behind."

With a buzzing dizziness, you follow his instruction. God, right now you'd do just about anything if he asked you to. You notice movement from his part and patiently wait with your butt up in the air for him to stuff you again; instead, you hear the familiar clicking sound of the Polaroid camera.

"You fucker," you chuckle, "did you just take a picture of my ass?"

"Couldn't help myself," he groans, caressing the soft flesh before lightly slapping it. "You look too damn gorgeous." The hit on your skin burns nicely and you can't hold back the gasp that escapes your lips.

"Shit- do that again..."

You can practically hear his smile when he talks, "You into that?" he repeats the action with a little more force and the pain sends a shock of pure pleasure between your legs, your own fluids dripping down your thighs. "F'course you are, I should've guessed with that attitude of yours."

He plays with your swollen pussy, enjoying your tiny moans and the way your legs tremble as you fist the sheets underneath you, burying your face on his pillow when he spanks you again— this time so hard that it probably left a mark. But before the sting washes away he takes the opportunity to enter you in one swift move, holding your hips steady and trailing his fingers along your spine.

"That's my sweet girl," he praises a midst, starting to grind his cock inside you. "Taking me like you were made for it."

This is way more intense, the angle allowing him to hit deeper, harsher. His gruff moans become more frequent as he speeds up his pace, letting you know just how good you were making him feel. The sensation was purely fantastic, melting every thought away and just leaving Joel Miller to fill you in every sense of the word. His hands are never still, roaming your responsive areas, caressing the most sensitive and always taking care of your aching clit.

You might cry from the overwhelming ecstasy— the way his tip constantly hits the depths of your cunt with each relentless thrust has you seeing stars. Joel gets a thrill from the way you can't seem to get enough of him either, throwing your hips back to meet his unwavering pace, clawing at the pillows and moaning helplessly, pushing him close to his climax.

"Joel, it's too much..." you mumble. "Please, I can't-"

He hunches over you, kissing your nape to ease the overpowering sensations, "Yes, you can. You're a big girl, you can take it." And then your vision goes blurry, all you're able to hear being his disjointed, lewd moans; all you can feel is his hard, hot body flushed to yours, his cock twitching inside you and the wetness of your own body. "That's it, give me another one, baby- fuuuck..."

The buildup is so strong you nearly collapse, feeling yourself tremble as he chases his orgasm, fucking you through yours. His fingers reach your bundle of nerves and apply barely any pressure, which has you coming undone in seconds, absolutely soaking his dick and the sheets beneath you, chanting his name like a prayer. A string of curses falls from his lips as he pulls out and quickly manhandles your fucked out self to lay on your back. He exhales sharply through his nose, spilling his load all over your stomach without even touching himself.

You both stay there for a while, catching your breath and looking intently at each other’s eyes before he rolls over, going limp beside you. You stare blankly at de ceiling, suddenly feeling aggressively aware of your sticky skin covered in sweat and cum, the numbness on your lower body that will surely feel sore in the morning and all the marks he's left dispersed on you. You feel satisfied, fulfilled even. Joy bubbles up your chest and comes out in form of a giggle, one you're unable to hold back.

"What?" he asks, turning his face towards you with a half-smile.

"I don't know, I just..." you shake your head, still laughing. "I don't know."

He chortles in disbelief, holding out a hand to take some tissues from the bedside drawer and going to swipe his mess off your tummy and inner thighs. "Shit, I think I might’ve just fucked the sense out of ya'."

Joel sets himself between your parted legs, laying the weight of his upper body on top of you, resting his chin on your chest, eyes boring into yours. He looks so young like this, despite the greying hair and the small wrinkles, his beautiful brown orbs sparkle ever so brightly under your attentive gaze.

"What will your dad say when he returns and finds out his only daughter has completely lost her mind?" he jokes, cradling you in his big arms.

"Come on," you roll your eyes playfully, "we both know that if I had been in my right mind since the beginning, I probably wouldn't be in your bed right now." He doesn't reply, but his smile doesn't fade either. Joel nuzzles his face on the crook of your neck, kissing your pulse zone briefly before closing his eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, softly massaging his scalp in utter silence.

The wind was howling outside, rustling the tree branches, but at least it wasn't raining anymore. You can feel Joel's heart beating against your ribs, his deep breaths fanning across your shoulder and his unique scent all around you, on you. In spite of the cold air, your naked bodies are warm enough to stay comfortably in this position, at least for a while— however, there's something deep inside you that doesn't want this moment to end.

"Hey," you call him lowly and he hums in response, "can we order pizza?"

He nods faintly, "Anything you want, honey."

Anything.

If only.

"I'll call," you say. "Any specific requests?"

"As long as there isn't any pineapple on it, we're fine." You glance down at him, almost appalled.

"You don't like pineapple on pizza?"

"No. That's disgusting, come on."

"Oh, grow up!" he opens his mouth to retort, but when he sees your dismayed expression he can merely bark a laugh that you get infected with.

"Order whatever you want," he whispers in your ear. "But you'll have to promise something."

"What's that?" you raise an eyebrow, intrigued.

"Say you'll stay," he murmurs, slightly hesitant. "Stay here and spend the night with me."

The proposal takes you by surprise, so much that you actually stopped breathing. You ponder wether if you could or you should; because, at the end, what would a night really mean? What could possibly change?

Nothing, right?

Besides, no one had to know.

(...)

A few moments later you're downstairs looking for your phone, wearing nothing other than his green flannel. Joel decided to take a shower while you ordered the food and you chose to walk around the house, paying attention to the little details you hadn't quite noticed before.

Now that you see it, there are plenty of horse images here and there. Very Texan of Joel, you can't deny. Lots of pictures of Sarah growing up, some of him and Tommy and a good deal with your dad. None of his ex-wife. In fact, there's no proof that she even existed. You decide not too think too hard about it, since it was none of your business after all.

You pour yourself a glass of water and wander your eyes across the amount of pills he usually takes. Anxiety pills, painkillers, vitamins. What could possibly be troubling this middle-aged man so bad? Again, you decide to turn a blind eye and simply pick up the phone, expecting a message from your dad to tell you he arrived in Boston well and safe. Instead, you find that your direct messages in social media have new requests. Curious, you open them to see what the fuzz was about.

Hi!

This is Will

I don't know if Sarah mentioned me...

I'm her English teacher, haha

I hope you don't find this creepy, your profile popped up in my 'people you may know' section and since Sarah said she wanted to introduce us, I thought I might just say hi 😉

Honestly, with everything that went down you had nearly forgotten about Sarah's 'you should hang out with people your age' speech. And now that you were stalking his profile, he appeared to be maybe a couple years older than you— handsome in a boyish, intelectual way, if that made sense. Apparently, he studied in New York too, and lived in Queens.

Hi!

Yeah, I reckon she did

What's up, Queens? :)

You don't really expect a reply, not giving much thought to anything in the moment. Though, an involuntary smile twitches your lips when there's a quick message that reads "Not much, Brooklyn" and the writing bubble underneath.

After all, having a friend in Austin wouldn't hurt.

[p5x-theories]

P5 Collab Chapter 3 Summary

(last updated 7/4/24!)

Usual disclaimer: Please keep in mind this game still has no official English translation, so this summary uses a mix of what happens visually, what I understand of the Japanese dialogue, and Google translate for the Chinese text, in order to get the broader picture here. This will be focused on summing up everything that happens overall, without getting into a line-by-line translation.

Contrary to this blog’s name, this post is going to have as little speculation as possible, and stick to confirmed facts.

This post will cover the third chapter of the P5 Collab, also called the “Bank Chapter”. One part of this has been fan-translated elsewhere already, so I’ll link to a video of it where applicable.

Part 3-1

The group arrives at the bank, and the P5 characters agree this looks just like Kaneshiro's Palace, though the atmosphere is a bit different. They explain what they know about Kaneshiro's cognition to the P5X team.

Once everyone's caught up, Cattle spots people standing near the bank entrance.

Closer, annoyed, says she already explained that the last time she was in a place like this, she needed to steal a thing called a Core to escape. The girl she's talking to, however, insists they don't go in yet, because it'd be dangerous to rush in when it's just the two of them. They need more information, and to find their missing teammates. Closer thinks that it would be better to look around than wait here doing nothing.

Their back and forth is interrupted as they notice the others standing nearby.

The two run over, Closer relieved to see everyone, though she doesn't recognize Fox. They exchange a quick introduction. Mona asks the other girl- Queen- if she's okay, and Queen confirms she is, then correctly identifies Wonder, Soy, and Cattle, though she describes Cattle as a "weird kid", to his annoyance. Skull wonders how she knew who they were, and Queen says Closer explained it all to her. Closer adds that Queen probably thought she was an enemy at first, with how much she interrogated her when they first appeared here.

Queen asks for more information about how this situation works from the others, since they've been in a situation like this before. Mona starts to explain, then Cattle cuts him off and warns her that they lose their memories after leaving. Queen realizes this means they're unable to brainstorm why this is happening or how to fix it once they get back to the real world. She also wonders why these places are so similar to the Palaces they know, what that might mean, and if the phenomenon bringing them here is really as simple as a Metaverse Navigator malfunction. When Skull mentions they at least know that stealing the Cores will let them leave, Queen points out that they can't even be sure that's going to work the same way again, though they also have no reason to think it won't. She's bothered by how much is uncertain about all this... though she doesn't mean to accuse them of anything.

Cattle, extremely impressed, immediately invites her to join his phantom thief team, as they've been needing an advisor. Everyone else berates him for trying to poach her from the other group. Queen is surprised, but says it is an honor to be invited. Cattle says he'll give up, but the offer stands if she ever changes her mind. Closer apologizes for "this child" being so rude, to Cattle's dismay.

Panther suggests they head inside the bank, since they still haven't found Joker. Closer's in favor, and Queen agrees now that they have a much bigger group.

The P5 Thieves comment on the continued similarity to Kaneshiro's Palace. Skull mentions that Queen's awakening was around this spot in the real Palace, and he, Panther, and Fox comment on how cool she was, while the P5X Thieves react in shock to the idea of her having a motorcycle Persona, all to Queen's slight embarrassment. Fox asks if she can reenact it so he can sketch it, but Queen refuses, saying she couldn't recreate how she felt then even if she wanted to. Mona says she was very dominant and forceful, and Queen declares the conversation over.

They discuss where to find the Core, and the P5 Thieves explain that they haven't found Kaneshiro's Treasure yet, so they're not really sure. Joker's also still missing, though none of them seem particularly worried about his ability to take care of himself. Closer agrees, he seems like an extraordinary guy. Fox says they don't need to worry about him, and they can focus on the Core. Cattle starts to say he senses the Core- and Mona interrupts to finish for him that the Core seems to be underground. Queen decides they'll look for a way to get underground for now; Joker might be there, too.

After some exploration, they find a surveillance room, with a guard dog shadow inside.

When they defeat the shadow, a treasure chest glitches into existence in front of them, similar to the Museum Chapter. It resembles the chests from Kaneshiro's Palace, but sitting atop a pedestal from Miyazawa's Palace.

They take the contents of the chest, ending this part.

Part 3-2

The group investigates the security system, and manages to use it to open some areas that were previously blocked off.

This lets them explore further into the bank, which they do so until they come across a meeting room with a ton of money on the table.

Soy wonders how much it is, while Closer says it must all be fake, but if it were real, she feels like it'd be enough to buy anything. Panther asks what everyone would buy if it were real. Fox immediately replies he'd buy art supplies, and Closer asks him if art supplies are that expensive. Fox says high-end goods could cost more than 100,000 yen, to her shock. Skull says he's pursuing art too much. Mona declares he doesn't need money, so he'd give it all to Panther. Cattle mutters that Mona seems to have some evil desires, and Mona, offended, asks what he'd buy with money. Cattle says he'd get some mouth-watering steak. Fox requests Cattle be sure to call him if he's having steak.

At Wonder's prompting, Soy says he'd use the money to open a restaurant of his own, and Skull correctly guesses he'd open a ramen place. Soy says it'd take a while in reality, and Skull says no matter how long it takes, he'll be there for opening day; Fox declares he'll join. Closer excitedly says she'd build her own baseball stadium right near her house. Queen apologizes for ruining her fantasy, but this much money probably wouldn't even be enough for the land to build a stadium on, to Closer's dismay. Soy and Skull agree that they honestly wouldn't really know what to do with this money; Skull says he doesn't even know how to buy expensive things. Panther adds that her pocket money's enough to make her happy as long as she spends it right, but if she had that much money, she'd never be happy with the snacks she bought. Closer thinks it's because she wouldn't need to choose, and could just buy anything. Fox laments that if he had this much money, he'd be able to eat more than bean sprouts.

Mona then asks Wonder what he'd do with this much money, with the options being "Spend all my life", "I don't need money", or "I accept it"; if the player picks "I accept it", Wonder poses, to Mona's annoyance, as that didn't even answer the question of what he'd do with it.

Closer mutters that he tried to be cool, while Soy replies if he'd just take the money, he's not a phantom thief, he's just a regular thief. Queen finally tells everyone they should move on, and keep looking for the Core and Joker.

Part 3-3

The group continues to search for a way underground, and before long, they spot a shadow taking an elevator down. They decide to hunt for the elevator controls.

After looking around, they eventually find the button above a cabinet, a ways away from the elevator itself.

They take the elevator down a floor, where a shadow is waiting for them.

Once the shadow is dealt with, the next chest glitches in.

Part 3-4

Underground, Cattle realizes the area is bigger than he expected it to be. He suggests they check their immediate surroundings first. Before long, they run into security cameras, very similar to their appearance in P5.

They decide to find a way to shut them off. At the end of the hallway, they discover a power box, and further determine that destroying the power box shuts off the cameras in an area. They later encounter electrified fences as well.

Once they navigate this area, they eventually run into another shadow, and another chest that glitches in when they defeat it.

Part 3-5

They find the path to the control room blocked by another electrified fence, which requires more sneaking around the bank area in order to shut off the various security devices here.

Once they're able to enter the control room, however, an alarm blares, with an announcement saying multiple intruders were located, and directing all personnel to the control room.

Panther spots a large number of shadows heading this way on the screens, and sure enough, a group rushes into the room and attacks.

Even after they defeat some of the shadows, more keep coming. However, Queen notices something else on one of the screens- Joker, running somewhere.

(He's in the middle of this screenshot; he's easier to see when he's moving, haha.)

The shadows notice this, too, and the majority of them run off to protect the basement. Closer guesses he might be intentionally getting caught on the camera to help lure enemies away from them, and Queen agrees, though she also has concerns about him being alone with so many shadows after him.

They wipe out the remaining shadows, then agree to head in the direction Joker went, and try to catch up to him before those shadows can.

Part 3-6

They proceed to the bridge covered in money that they saw Joker running across, and Queen notes that while it seems very similar to Kaneshiro's Palace, the details on the money are actually different. Their exploration leads them to discovering more security cameras, which operate on intervals instead of being always on.

They reach another elevator, this one guarded by a strong shadow. Queen speculates this elevator must lead deeper into the bank, if it's being protected.

As the group sneaks down to fight it, the shadow spots them on the stairs, and attacks. Once the shadow's out of the way, they take the elevator further down.

Part 3-7

They enter the deepest part of the bank, the area structured like a giant safe. Cattle comments that this seems consistent with what they've learned about the desires of the real Palace's ruler so far. Just as Queen wonders where Joker is...

... He jumps down from somewhere and lands dramatically in front of them. Panther, smiling, complains that he had them worried! Skull adds that they knew Joker was definitely fine, but he was still a little worried. Fox is glad to see he seems to be doing fine, and Queen says everyone feels more at ease with him here. Wonder also greets him, and Soy quickly introduces himself to Joker.

Soy and Joker suddenly start talking to each other (not actual dialogue, they're just indicated to be talking), and Queen, watching them, mutters that they seem very immersed in their conversation, but it's all about cooking. Skull wonders if Joker's planning to learn how to make ramen, and Fox eagerly hopes this is the case. He's then crushed when Queen reminds him they don't retain their memories after leaving.

Once Joker and Soy's conversation is done, Cattle says the Core feels close now, and Mona adds that means the Core's guardian must be nearby as well. Skull suggests someone do a motivating speech, and Wonder can prompt either Soy, Fox, or Queen to do it. If he picks Queen, she gives a very formal and serious speech, which Panther and Skull comment on the side that she's gone into Student Council mode. Still, everyone cheers together when she finishes her speech.

As with the real Kaneshiro's Palace, they have to head through the smaller vaults on the sides in order to progress through to the center, so they head into the first one. This involves more navigating through and disabling the security systems, sometimes including floor spikes and spinning blade pillars similar to the ones in Miyazawa's Palace.

Eventually, another chest glitches in after they defeat a guard.

Part 3-8

As they continue onward, Skull complains about how much security there is here. Cattle warns him it'll probably only get worse as they get closer to the Core.

More exploration and disabling security, and they reach another guard, and another glitched-in treasure chest.

Part 3-9

More security, more exploration, and another guard and treasure chest to end the part.

Part 3-10

They finally reach the center elevator, which Cattle senses should lead to the Core.

A large chunk of this part is fan-translated to English here.

The group exits the elevator, and finds themselves in an area where a a shadow with a strange, metal-looking, lizardlike head (much like the one at the end of the Museum Chapter) stands in front of both a floating bowl and a massive vault. When the group approaches, it erupts, turning into something similar to Bael (the monstrous form of Shadow Kaneshiro) but with Miyazawa's hairstyle and other obvious differences. Its text box gives it the name “Pratigha”. The fight can be divided into two phases- during the first, Pratigha is in humanoid form, and uses "money" (tracked like a status effect) to summon and heal guards, while during the second, it enters something similar to Piggytron, and rearranges which teammates are holding the "money", having stronger attacks the more it's spread between them (as opposed to just one teammate holding all the money, which results in the weakest attack). After Pratigha is defeated, Joker nods at Wonder, while Mona runs up and snatches the Core. He doesn't have long to celebrate before the bank begins to collapse, and the team needs to escape. At one point Joker nearly falls, but Wonder rescues him, and they all reach the entrance safely. Outside the bank, Panther finally gets to tell Closer that she was able to avenge her best friend. Closer congratulates her, saying she thinks the reason she was able to avenge her own best friend was because she got courage from Panther. Panther's happy to hear that, and says she feels the same way. Meanwhile, Soy, Skull, and Fox thank each other for helping out, but then Fox brings up the "more serious" topic of Soy treating him to a large bowl of ramen, rice, and three orders of dumplings once they return to the real world. Skull mutters that Fox added more to his order, and reminds him that they won't keep their memories when they leave. Soy says he thinks they'll meet again if they're meant to, and Fox agrees that the bonds woven by fate are eternal. Queen asks about how leaving works, and Cattle makes one more attempt to recruit her. Mona reminds him they won't keep their memories from here, but Cattle replies there's always the possibility of "what if", to Mona's annoyance. Mona insists Queen is their important comrade, and Queen tells them to stop arguing, or the bank will collapse on top of them. Cattle bids Queen farewell, and Mona asks that he not undermine him next time they meet. Cattle says he understands, but if she really is an important comrade, they better cherish her. Wonder says goodbye to Joker, and Joker thanks him for keeping his team safe and sound, then says goodbye as well.

Back in reality, the scene plays out again like it did at the start of the Museum Chapter: Shun, Motoha, Wonder, and Ruferu meet up to head into Miyazawa’s Palace for the day. Shun worries that, since he’s still not quite used to fighting, he might slow the team down. He says he’ll study their fighting styles. Motoha starts to say that “studying” is too exaggerated, but then realizes she could act like Shun’s coach, and starts to get excited.

However, at this point, Wonder gets a sense of deja vu, and a strange sense of accomplishment. Shun and Motoha ask if he's okay, and Ruferu suggests maybe they rest today instead. Motoha agrees he shouldn't force himself. Wonder feels something in his pocket, and finds the bowl-like Core from the bank.

[miraluking-respectfully]

What happened to Lyde on getting that thumbprint from Jadus? Looks like a big owch there. :( (handshake for miraluka love)

💕🤝🤝🤝💕 It was indeed a big ouch! That scar is a souvenir from Lyde's first meeting with Darth Jadus; story-wise, it's the one-on-one you have with him before you head to Grathan's. I've always adored that conversation, as it's beautifully voice-acted and does a lot to establish Jadus as this very cryptic and threatening entity. He's more a force of nature than a guy. But I simultaneously find the scene a little bit lacking. While it’s constructed in a manner that lets you read a lot into what Jadus is saying and what the agent might be experiencing, it lacks much of the audiovisual interest displayed in other (namely post-brainwashing) parts of the agent storyline. (Also, let it be known that I ultimately I find Jadus’ actual writing in-game super underwhelming and 100% carried on the back of Stephen Rashbrook’s vocal performance + the headcanoning efforts of the people who were swept off their feet by that same performance, but that’s a topic for another post.) So in Lyde's version of canon, Jadus did his spiel, had her kneel, and then held her still with his presence while he pushed his thumb into her eye socket. It didn't take a lot of doing, since miraluka really just have a thin layer of skin covering those. In wounding her, he solidified and strengthened the imprint of his power left on her body during her “inoculation” by drawing on her feelings of fear and agony in that moment. I liked the idea a lot because it feels like a very Jadus act - heavily symbolic and visually arresting, but, if given prompt medical attention, not actually debilitating in a way that would interfere with his agent’s work. After all, what’s she need those empty sockets for? To see? Pfft. Pfffft. 

It was also a way for Jadus to literally mark his territory. Contrary to what in-game dialogue suggests, Lyde did have affiliations outside of Intelligence, by Sith standards: familial ones. Her Sith mother was recently deceased, but her grandfather, a Jedi-turned-Sith, was still kicking. Given I haven’t finished typing up a concise Aniteon twins backstory, I haven’t talked about Darth Grandad on this blog, but tl;dr he’s a huge piece of shit who washed his hands of Lyde near-entirely when she proved weak in the Force as compared to her sister. Choosing her as a personal tool was Jadus very publicly claiming a resource passed over by another Sith. Consider it a triple-flex on Lyde, Imperial Intelligence, and any other Sith who might be interested in interfering in his business with either. 

also it looks sick as fuck & in Lyde’s Hand of Jadus AU she’s got both sockets gouged open and on display at ALL times LESGOOOOO

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

The Soldier Parable.

Is that the game where the guy fucks the bucket did Soldier fuck the bucket

[demonsandco]

I searched through your blog and I'm honestly so surprised you don't have more Simeon content. That being said, if you're still doing it, can I get the WHOLE smut alphabet for Simeon?

You’re right! It’s a shame cause he’s very much one of my favorites now that we get to see more of him in game! Normally I wouldn’t do the entire alphabet like this because it’s… a lot, but Simeon deserves it uwu. This is nearly 3000 words, which makes it my longest post yet by a long shot!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Simeon is such a sweetheart after sex. He’s not actually sleepy, but his limbs feel like jelly and he’s full of so many soft, loving emotions. All he wants to do is keep his partner close in his arms, slyly stealing kisses from their lips and whispering words of love in their ear. He’s not eager to get up or move at all, but he’s willing to have a bath or grab some water if they join him. Sex leaves him feeling rather emotional and vulnerable, and he really just wants to feel them near him and hear their voice.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Simeon’s favorite part of his body is his hands. He wears gloves often to protect them, leaving his skin feeling so soft and smooth. He’s a very hands on type of person, and he’s quite skilled with them, too. One of his favorite things to do during sex is run his hands up and down his partner’s sides, feeling their warmth under his palms.

In turn, Simeon loves every part of their body. If he had to pick just one part, though, it would be their eyes. He’s a firm believer in the saying that “eyes are the windows to the soul” and he could lose himself in their gaze. He’s fond of maintaining eye contact, watching their expression shift as they get close and memorising the different shades and tones that make up their eye color.

(Cont under the cut)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Simeon cums so much, both in quantity and frequency, but he hates the messiness of it. It feels good in the moment, but it gets cold and sticky way too quickly for his liking. He really likes to see his partner covered in his cum, as though he marked them as his in a way only the two of them would know about, but he’s always quick to help clean them up before it gets uncomfortable.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Simeon really doesn’t have anything that he would call a dirty secret. All the sexual experiences he’s had in the past have been quite tame and he’s very much not the type of person to feel ashamed about his past actions or keep them secret. He’s an open book when it comes to relationships and sex.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Contrary to popular belief, angels are allowed to have sex. As long as it doesn’t impact their duties, angels can do whatever they want with their private lives, and Simeon very much took advantage of that. He’s had quite a few partners in the past, especially before the war took place. His original rank as a Seraph gave him a lot of popularity among other angels. His experiences have taught him a lot about how to make his partner feel good in many different ways, but he never really had the chance to figure out what he enjoys. There’s a huge opportunity for them to experiment with his body and to teach him more than just the basics.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Simeon is really open to experimenting and trying out new positions, so he doesn’t have just one favorite. However, the positions he enjoys most are ones where he can see his partner’s face, especially if the position lets him pull them against his chest when he feels the need for closeness. He’s open to just about any position, though, even if it seems rather absurd at first.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Simeon isn’t goofy enough to ruin the moment, but his playful nature definitely shines through. If he’s in bed with someone, that means he feels close to them emotionally, too, so he feels comfortable enough to not stay serious all the time. Sometimes things go wrong in the moment or something silly gets said out loud on accident. He doesn’t see anything wrong with laughing it off or jokingly teasing each other. He’s good at telling when the mood allows for some laughs and when some composure is necessary.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Being an angel, Simeon’s body is almost entirely hairless. Besides the hair on his head, the only other hair on him is a small patch above his cock and a very faint happy trail. He doesn’t enjoy the feel of shaving, but he does keep it very neatly trimmed at all times. Colour wise, it matches the hair on his head perfectly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Simeon is quite romantic in the moment. Love and intimacy are very important aspects of sex to him, and that comes through in most of his actions. His pace, his preferred positions, everything reflects that intimacy that he craves. Through it all, he’s sweet talking to his partner, letting them know how good they make him feel, how important they are to him, and how much he loves them. He knows he might come across as too intense, but he wants to make sure they know that sex isn’t just about the physical aspect for him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Simeon rarely, if ever, feels the need to masturbate. Without a partner, sex really isn’t something he thinks about often, and if he does have a partner, he’d much rather take care of his need with them, rather than on his own. If he does end up jacking off, though, he always ends up fantasising about them, and he finds that he can’t actually cum without imagining them being there with him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Unsurprisingly, Simeon has a corruption kink. It came as a huge shock to him when he first realised it, but something about having his sweet little human tempt him and lead him down a path of “sin” excites him. It feeds into his rebellious nature that he constantly tries to control. It gives him a rush of adrenaline whenever they convince him to do something shameful or lewd and he finds himself enjoying it and even craving more instead of actually feeling shame.

As well, Simeon also has a massive praise kink. He always strives to please his partner as best as he can and getting positive reinforcement, something he rarely hears normally, sends shocks of pleasure shooting down his spine. The more praise he gets, the more eager he is to be good. If he’s being bratty, praising his good behavior in the past gets him to behave much quicker than a “punishment” would.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Simeon’s preferred location is either his or his partner’s room. It’s a place that feels safe and familiar, while also offering privacy. They can take as much time as they want and be as loud as they feel like without having to worry about anyone bursting in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Getting Simeon turned on is pretty easy. All his partner needs to do is be direct with their advances. Their boldness excites him. He isn’t the type of person to get turned on by seemingly innocent actions, so their intent needs to be clear. That, alongside some suggestive touches, is more than enough to get him in the mood.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Simeon is usually open to trying anything once and there’s not a lot that he’s opposed to, but he is very serious with his boundaries. He refuses to allow sex with his partner to start impacting his day to day life. Skipping classes, missing meetings, or even risking being late to something, even if it’s not important, in favor of sex is a big no for him. He makes his boundaries very clear from the start, and will quickly become harsh if his partner doesn’t respect them.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Simeon has almost no experience in oral, giving or receiving, but it quickly becomes one of his favorite things. He could spend hours between his partner’s thighs without getting bored. While he’s rather hesitant and unsure at first, he’s very skilled at reading their reactions and starts adjusting his technique to make them feel as good as possible.

He doesn’t enjoy receiving quite as much, but he still loves it! It’s so easy for his partner to make him cum or overstimulate him with just their mouth. The warm wetness of their mouth feels divine and their breath is so hot against his skin, he can’t help but cum embarrassingly quickly.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Simeon greatly enjoys taking his time with his partner, keeping a slow and sensual pace and exploring every inch of their body with his mouth and hands. He’s not a fan of rushing, even as he gets closer to his peak, he keeps his pace steady, his body molding against theirs. He’s not opposed to going faster if they prefer that, but his favorite pace will always be slow and intimate.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Simeon is not a fan of quickies. He’ll be open to trying it at least once, but he knows from the start that it’s not his cup of tea. The whole thing just feels so rushed and impersonal to him. The most important part of sex to him is the intimacy and emotional connections, and quickies feel very lacking in comparison. If anything, they leave him craving his partner even more than before.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Simeon is very open to experimenting and he’s always excited to learn and experience new things. He’s willing to try anything once, even if it’s something that he’s pretty sure he won’t enjoy. The idea of taking risks also interests him, but it needs to only be a perceived risk for him to participate. Something like messing around in an empty classroom at RAD is exciting, but it needs to be afterhours when the school is empty and the door has to be locked for him to feel comfortable.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Simeon’s stamina is not the best, at least at first. He can go for more rounds than the average human just because he’s an angel, but he’s so unbelievably sensitive that the rounds themselves are rather short. It’s been so long since he’s had anyone touch him sexually that he ended up cumming in his pants the first time he was with his partner. With time, his stamina will improve drastically, probably to the point where he could easily outlast them, but he needs some practice to get there.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys aren’t something Simeon has ever really thought about using or has ever owned. When he sees the huge variety of toys that exist, he feels excited to try them out, mostly relying on his partner’s preferences and recommendations to pick some. He quickly learns that he really enjoys having them use different toys on him and, in turn, he loves the new opportunities the toys give him when it comes to pleasuring them in return. The possessive, prideful part of him that is usually buried very much prefers making his partner feel good on his own, without toys to help, but most of the time, he doesn’t mind.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The first time he teases his partner, it’s entirely accidental, his habit of going slow and taking his time exploring their body ends up making him tease them. Once he sees the way it makes them feel, though, he starts doing it on purpose, wanting to see more of their reactions. He’ll relent, with a smug little smile on his face, if they start begging, but until then, he plays the innocent card, pretending not to realise what he’s doing.

As much as he likes to dish it out, Simeon really can’t take much teasing. He’s so sensitive and desperate that he’ll start begging immediately, willing to do anything just to feel more of their touch.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Simeon is naturally very loud and he lets out the prettiest sounds. At first, he tries to muffle them and keep his volume down. He talks quite a bit, at least while he’s still able to form coherent thoughts, and loves to whisper sweet things to his partner in a breathy tone. The closer he gets to cumming, the more his words devolve into delicate gasps and high pitched moans. When he cums, he lets out the longest, breathiest whine that no amount of gritting his teeth or covering his mouth could smother. He’s very vocal throughout, and without some sort of soundproofing, his voice can very much be heard through the walls.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Simeon has a hard time controlling his wings during sex. He can’t focus hard enough to keep them hidden and they tend to have a mind of their own, fluttering and puffing up depending on how he feels. They’re quite sensitive in the moment too, especially at the base. In the end, he finds himself wrapping his wings around his partner as he pulls them close, keeping them warm and safe under his feathers. Unfortunately, this usually means that the bed is covered in feathers from all his flapping and wiggling.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Simeon has such a pretty cock, so perfectly smooth that it almost looks like a drawing rather than an actual dick. He’s large enough to be impressive without seeming intimidating, with just enough girth to feel like a stretch, but not be painful. It’ll still take some prep for his partner to take him, but it won’t be too difficult with some patience and plenty of lube.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Simeon’s libido isn’t very high at all, and sex isn’t something that’s on his mind constantly. What matters to him most is spending quality time with his partner, regardless of what they’re doing together. They usually need to be the one to actually initiate things, since he has no qualms with pushing down his need to avoid ruining the moment. With how much he values physical touch, it’s not hard for cuddles to become something more, and as long as there’s time for it, Simeon will never say no.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex doesn’t exactly leave him feeling sleepy, but it does make him feel extraordinarily relaxed. He tends to follow his partner’s lead, staying awake longer if they don’t plan to sleep right away. With how warm and soft he feels, though, he has no trouble falling asleep quickly, cuddling them close to his chest to absorb more of their body heat. If it’s up to him, he prefers to share some casual pillow talk together, before falling asleep soon after. If he can avoid having to get up and be functional, he will.

[ebaeschnbliah]

SHERLOCK’S  WEBSITE

‘Reading the document is the same as seeing the author’

This says a Chinese proverb (X). What does it mean then, when John tells Sherlock in A Scandal in Belgravia: ‘nobody is reading your website’?

SHERLOCK: I have a website. JOHN: In which you enumerate two hundred and forty different types of tobacco ash. Nobody’s reading your website.

Some more musings about Sherlock’s website ‘The Science of Deduction’ and its content below the cut ...

Just a little while later in the same episode - while he writes aboout the unsolved plane crash case in Düsseldorf ... ‘Sherlock Holmes baffled’ - John describes his own blog as Sherlock’s ‘living’.

JOHN: Look at that. One thousand, eight hundred and ninety-five. SHERLOCK: Sorry, what? JOHN: I re-set that counter last night. This blog has had nearly two thousand hits in the last eight hours. This is your living, Sherlock – not two hundred and forty different types of tobacco ash. SHERLOCK: Two hundred and forty-three.

‘This is your living’ is basically the same as ‘this is your life’. This is YOU. The way John describes Sherlock on his own blog, shapes how the public eye views the great detective. The same way as Dr Watson did in canon in his stories for The Strand. This fact becomes even more clear during the greenhouse scene in TAB. Although Dr Watson is aware that he doesn’t tell the truth about Holmes, he doesn’t change his stories about him either. 

HOLMES: .... as I have often explained before, all emotion is abhorrent to me. It is the grit in a sensitive instrument ... the crack in the lens. WATSON: Yes. HOLMES: Well, there you are, you see? I’ve said it all before. WATSON: No, I wrote all that. You’re quoting yourself from The Strand Magazine. HOLMES: Well, exactly. WATSON: No, those are my words, not yours! That is the version of you that I present to the public: the brain without a heart; the calculating machine. I write all of that, Holmes, and the readers lap it up, but I do not believe it.

If John’s statement ‘my blog is your living’ can be translated into ‘my blog is your life’ - my blog is YOU - what then can be said about John’s other comment, regarding Sherlock’s website ‘The Science of Deduction’, when he tells Sherlock: ‘nobody’s reading your website’? If the document, the blog, the website reflects the personality of the writer, the author and when nobody is reading Sherlock’s website because nobody is interested in its content ... doesn’t this translate into:  'nobody’s interested in who you really are’?  I assume one can indeed read it that way, because the plot confirms such a translation as well.

Oh, don’t worry. I know who you really are. I’m never off your website.  (THOB,  Dr Frankland)

If Dr Frankland knows who Sherlock really is, just by looking at his website - at Sherlock, the author -  maybe it would be a good idea to take a look as well. ... the same way Sherlock advices Kitty Riley in TRF: ‘Well, look at ME and tell me what you see ... you can just read what you need’. 

First of all, I’m not going to use the external internet website created for Sherlock BBC in this post. @possiblyimbiassed did already a detailed and very interesting analysis of it in ‘The Science of Reduction’. In the comments of that post I tried to exlpain the reasons for my doubts as to whether those external informations - as fascinating and tempting as they are - could lead to a solution for the story told on TV. Anyway, in this post I’m going to look at Sherlock’s website just as it is presented on screen. But what can be deduced about The Sciene of Deduction by using solely informations from TV? There’s not much to go on, one might say ... and as I’m no Sherlock Holmes either, I will most likely ‘miss almost everything of importance’, like John did with Carl’s shoes. But looking at Sherlock, the author, is definitely worth a try  ... :)))) 

The Science of Deduction

Sherlock’s website ‘The Science of Deduction’ can be seen already in the Unaired PILOT when he is about to answer requests from various people. The very first message he is just writing, is directed at his brother Mycroft who apparently contacted him in a somewhat ... ‘impossible situation’. Sherlock’s answer is a quote from canon, probably the most well known and often used statement of the great detective ... in canon as well as in many adaptations:

Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.  (The Sign of the Four)

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?  (The Sign of the Four)

It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.  (The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet)

We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.  (Adventure of the Bruce Partington Plans)

When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. (Adventure of the Blanched Soldier)

Five more requests wait for Sherlock’s attention. His Inbox is indeed well filled ... at least six possible cases ...

Sherlock answers Gregson’s request about a ‘Church bell theft’. This done, he is clearly pleased about DI Lestrade’s not very informative message ‘Please call me’. When he is about to answer Jones request about ‘Samson and Del’, Mike Stamford and John Watson enter the room and Sherlock stops working through his Inbox. 

The next day Sherlock and John meet for the first time at Baker Street 221b. John mentions that he’d found Sherlock’s website the night prior but contrary to Sherlock’s big expectations, John isn’t much impressed (unlike Jeff Hope who thinks Sherlock’s Science of Deduction is brilliant). This scene happens in both versions - PILOT and ASIP - almost identically.

JOHN: Oh, I, um, looked you up on the internet last night. SHERLOCK: Anything interesting? JOHN: Found your website, The Science of Deduction. SHERLOCK: What did you think? JOHN: Quite amusing, I suppose. SHERLOCK: “Amusing”? JOHN: You said you could identify a software designer by his tie and – what was it? – a retired plumber by his left hand. SHERLOCK: Yes; and I can read your military career by your face and your leg, and your brother’s drinking habits by your mobile phone. JOHN: How? SHERLOCK: You read the article. JOHN: The article was absurd. SHERLOCK: But I know about his drinking habits. I even know that he left his wife.

Sherlock BBC, PILOT

One of the small and also strange differences between the two versions is the ‘identification’ text line from Sherlock’s website, quoted by John. In PILOT Sherlock refers to a plumber and his left hand and in ASIP to an airline pilot and his left thumb. “It is, of course, a trifle, but there is nothing so important as trifles” tells Holmes in The Man with the Twisted Lip and “It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important” in A Case of Identity. A lot of such little, seemingly unnecessary modifications and inconsistencies can be found throughout this adaptation. Maybe they are indeed there for a reason?

JOHN: I looked you up on the internet last night. SHERLOCK: Anything interesting? JOHN: Found your website, The Science of Deduction. SHERLOCK: What did you think? JOHN: You said you could identify a software designer by his tie and an airline pilot by his left thumb. SHERLOCK: Yes; and I can read your military career in your face and your leg, and your brother’s drinking habits in your mobile phone. JOHN: How?

Sherlock BBC, ASIP

Why had the profession to be changed from plumber to airline pilot and the body part from hand to thumb, one wonders? Unless it’s because plumbers have to do with water and work down to earth or even underground. They install pipes/tubes or mend broken ones. By the way, in german language the phrase ‘install a pipe’ (ein Rohr verlegen) has the same meaning as the english ‘put up shelves’. Airline pilots on the other hand often tend to be situated high up above the clouds. Well, this sort of topic runs like a red thread throuout the whole story. And that strange change of profession isn’t the only ‘small’ modification from PILOT to ASIP either. 

(Strange little changes   Plumber musings)

Also interesting ... there are no visuals of Sherlock’s website in the official episodes ASIP and TBB. Only in the following episode, TGG, the viewer is able to take a first ‘official’ look at The Science of Deductions, when Sherlock writes his messages to the bomber. The look of his website has changed completely.

The Great Game: the first entry in the Forum is about Carl Powers shoes and botulinum toxin ... that’s the reason for food poisoning.  (Under the microscope)

Next time the website can be seen, is after Sherlock solved the second case and sends his congratulations regarding Ian Monford’s relocation to Columbia ...

And a third time when Sherlock has solved the murder of Conny Prince ...

There is no picture of Sherlock’s website connected to the fake Vermeer painting because this time Sherlock sends the solution not on his laptop but uses the pink phone dublicate instead (Yes, besides 2 Johns, 2 Faiths, 2 Charles, 2 serial killers, 2 empty houses, 2 flights of the dead, various pairs, doubles, twins ... etc, etc ... there are also 2 pink phones present in Sherlock BBC). Anyway, the Science of Deduction can be seen again when Sherlock suggests a meeting with the bomber at the same pool, where once little Carl died, to hand over the stolen missile defence plans ...

There’s no picture of Sherlock’s website in ASIB. The Science of Deduction turns up only in the two short but very interesting pieces of dialogue between John and Sherlock with which I started this post.

John utters the opinion that their clients come to Baker Street just because of his blog. Sherlock reminds him that he too has a website. John then mockingly mentions Sherlock’s analysis of 240 different types of tobacco ash on said website and adds ‘nobody is reading your website’. Sherlock is clearly offended and corrects the number of tobacco ashes from 240 to 243. Some time later John raises the tobacco-ash topic once more, proudly refers to his own blog - and the 1895 hits on it - and tells Sherlock ‘this is your living’.

The next visual presentation of the website can be seen in THOB, when Sherlock shows John the Inbox message of little Kirsty about her vanished, luminous rabbit Bluebell ...

In the same episode Sherlock tells Mrs Hudson that a ‘little blog on the identification of perfumes’ can be found on his website. It turns out that Sherlock hasn’t only extensive knowledge regarding ash, he also knows a lot about perfumes.  (Perfumes in Sherlock BBC by @gosherlocked ) 

The HOUND-episode is also the one in which Dr Frankland tells Sherlock: ’I know who you really are. I’m never off your website’. The Baskerville scientist knows John’s blog as well and is a bit confused that Sherlock isn’t wearing the deerstalker hat, as shown there.

The Science of Deductions turns up next in TRF, in an newspaper article about the recovery of Turner’s masterpiece, the ‘Falls of the Reichenbach’, that Sherlock was able to recover (last line on the left column).

Sherlock’s website is mentioned a last time in TSOT. Not on Sherlock’s laptop but on John’s phone. Mary suggests that John should go on a case with Sherlock. John opens The Science of Deduction on his own phone and asks Sherlock to pick a case from his already ‘bursting Inbox’. Sherlock chooses The Bloody Guardsman. Sadly it’s impossible to get a clear shot of the small mobile-screen. (John’s blog stops at TSOT by @gosherlocked)

THE LOOK

Blue is the main colour Sherlock has chosen for his website ... shades of different blue ... a dark midnight blue and the skyline of a city by night can be dimly seen in the background and - a little bit clearer - on both sides. 

As Sherlock Holmes is one of London’s most popular characters, it’s easy to assume that the skyline used for his website is that of GBs capital. With this in mind, the water in the bottom right corner, that can be seen rather good on the first pic above, should be the Thames and the shallow arch above it, most likely one of its many bridges. On the opposite site, in the upper left corner, next to the small, pale tower and right behind the ‘The’ of the website’s headline, the vast vault of Saint Paul’s Cathedral can be dimly seen (the view is better on a TV screen). 

If one connects the images of river and bridge on the left with St Paul’s on the right, I guess the background of Sherlock’s website could be a panorama photo similar to the one below. That’s a view from the Southbank of the Thames with Blackfriars Bridge in the foreground. And this location does play a role in the story ....

Blackfriars Bridge is located between Southwark Bridge and Waterloo Bridge. The name derives from Black Freres ... the French 'frère' meaning 'brother'. This referes to the black habits of the Dominican monks. A monk is also called a brother, a nun is also called a sister and the opposite of a ‘black brother’ would be a (ghostly) ‘white sister’. Just saying. :) 

(The Roads we walk   Vatican Cameos   A Christmas Tale)

As mentioned above, this particular cityscape plays a role in Sherlock BBC. It’s a crime scene from TGG. 

SHERLOCK: View of the Thames. South Bank – somewhere between Southwark Bridge and Waterloo.

At this place, Alex Woodbridge was found, the security guard and hobby stargazer, killed by the Golem, in the Vermeer case ... the same case which doesn’t turn up in the messages on Sherlock’s website because he uses the pink phone and conveys the solution verbally. Viewed metaphorically ... he speaks through the heart.

Blue is the colour of the sky ... high up, where the aeroplanes fly. Blue is also the colour of the water, deep down below ... where powerful emotions run freely and London is Sherlock’s city. The country, the city, the houses, even cars are closely linked to the famous detective. They seem to represent his ‘body’. 

Just put me back in London. I need to get to know the place again, breathe it in – feel every quiver of its beating heart.  (Sherlock, TEH)

Brother Mycroft IS government and ‘queen’ at the same time. There are all kinds of networks above and below ground and steam trains run behind fake facades. Saint Paul’s Cathedral and the river Thames are often special eye-catcher. The coat of arms ... with dragon, lion and Saint George’s cross ... make their appearance as well as the great fire of London in 1666, the Isle of Dogs and the Greenwich pips. ‘Transport’ goes from standstill to movement ....

666-The number of the beast   Every quiver of his beating heart   Saint Paul’s Cathedral   Still at the centre of the web   From standstill to movement 

WEBSITE ... A SITE FOR THE WEB

Sherlock has a website .... John has a blog. Why the difference? Both men, Sherlock and John, are given strongly internet-related nicknames ... Hat-man and Robin:The web detectives ... Sherlock & John: Blogger Detectives. Sherlock is also called ‘Net Tec’ and ‘net phenomenon’. What’s the difference between Blog and Website:

BLOG:  The word ‘blog’ is short for ‘weblog’ (web=net + log=logbook), jokingly broken into the phrase ‘we blog’. A blog is a discussion or informational website published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete, often informal diary-style text entries. Posts are typically displayed in reverse chronological order, so that the most recent post appears first, at the top of the web page. 'Blog' and 'blogging' are now loosely used for content creation and sharing on social media, especially when the content is long-form and one creates and shares content on regular basis. (X)

WEBSITE:   The word website consists of web=net + site=place. Literally web-site means ‘a place in the net’. A website can be used in various fashions: a personal website, a corporate website for a company, a government website, an organization website, etc. Websites can be the work of an individual, a business or other organization, and are typically dedicated to a particular topic or purpose. All publicly accessible websites collectively constitute the World Wide Web. (X)

Of course, the word ‘web’ immediately reminds me of Jim Moriarty. The spider at the centre of a criminal web, woven with thousands of threads and Jim knows precisely how each and every single one of them dances. Sherlock is going to monitor the underworld in order to notice every quiver of that web, so he will notice when the spider makes his move. 

As mentioned above, all kinds of networks - above and below ground - play a major role in Sherlock BBC. There are Mycroft’s people, his agents and spies. There are terrorists who threaten London with a massive attack. General Shan has a vast network with thousands of operatives and Sherlock calls it ‘a cult’. A surveillance web is closing in on Baker Street, their attention focussed on Sherlock. An Underground network as well as an underground network runs below the surface of the big city. A secret cult of revenging birdes meets in the crypt of a desanctified church. Sherlock is convinced that the ‘world is woven from billions of lives, every strand crossing every other. What we call premonition is just movement of the web. If you could attenuate to every strand of quivering data, the future would be entirely calculable, as inevitable as mathematics’. So many threads - linked and interwoven - they create a web, a net .... a web-net. Basically, that’s exactly how brains work as well. Every brain is a very vast and highly functional biological network ... and Sherlock’s is faster than most ‘... still catching up with my brain. It’s terribly fast’.

Recent models in modern neuroscience treat the brain as a biological computer, very different in mechanism from an electronic computer, but similar in the sense that it acquires information from the surrounding world, stores it, and processes it in a variety of ways. Neurons typically communicate with one another by means of long fibers, which carry trains of signal pulses to distant parts of the brain or body. (X)

And then there's also Sherlock’s ‘own’ network ... the ‘homeless network’ it is called. According to Sherlock, it is ‘indispensible and faster than the police’. Those group of people is based on the Baker Street Irregulars from canon. There, in Victorian London, they are street boys, sometimes employed by Holmes to run errands for him. Holmes speaks of them as ‘division of the detecitve police force’. Dr Watson describes them as ‘little scoundrels’ and ‘half a dozen of the dirtiest and most ragged street Arabs that ever I clapped eyes on’. 

While the idea of homeless people who sometimes assist Sherlock in his cases is taken from canon, the name - homeless network - is not. Names are always important in this story. So basically, what is a homless network? It is a network that has no home. At times it is usefull for Sherlock and he pays them for their help. In a way this reminds me of Eurus. She says abut herself: 'to remember everything one just needs a big enough hard drive’. Her intellectual abilities are also of occasional use for the government. In return she requires treats. Similar to Sherlock’s homeless network, Eurus has no home either. She lost it long ago in her childhood days. Sherlock has a website ... a site, a place in the web ... but only very few people are interested in it. Actually just Jeff Hope and Dr Frankland as it seems. Sherlock has a homless network ... a network without a home. 

The women of the ‘cult’ from TAB first gave me the idea that all those dangerous groups ... agents, spies, terrorists and the various networks ... could actually be metaphors for something that happens inside Sherlock’s mind. That all those groups represent the awakening of emotional stirrings ... desires, fears, impulses ... that haunt the great detective. There seem to be aspects of Sherlock’s personality which he views as rightous criminal and puts them behind padded walls or elephant glass. Others are just annoying and distracting. Some he ignores most of the time because he considers them to be irrelevant for his system. Some have no home, although they turn out to be usefull now and then. Then something unexpected happens ... something new is coming ... and this marks the beginning of a change of perception in Sherlock Holmes, maybe a revolution.

The reptile in 221b   Underground networks    AGRA-Under the sign of four   Eurus, the emotional memory & The cold war by @raggedyblue

FOUR MESSAGES and a GAP 

Four messages can be read on Sherlock’s website. All of them are from TGG, related to four of the five cases, written by Sherlock and directed at ‘the bomber’. As it turns out at the end of the episode, this person is none other than Jim Moriarty, the spider in the centre of the web. 

FOUND. Pair of trainers belonging to Carl Powers (1978-1989). Botulinum toxin still present. Apply 221b Baker St.

Congratulations to Ian Monkford on his relocation to Columbia.

Raoul de Santos, the house-boy, botox.

xxx

Found. The Bruce-Partington plans. Please collect. The Pool. Midnight.

Only one of the cold cases is not mentioned on Sherlock’s website, because Sherlock uses the pink phone duplicate, sent to him by the bomber in a strong box at the beginning of the ‘great game’, to submit his message. Sometimes it is useful to ‘mind the gap’ as Sherlock says. Sometimes that, what is left out, is just as important as that, what is there. The ‘gap-case’ is the one about the fake Vermeer painting, whose forgery was first noticed by security guard and hobby stargazer Alex Woodbridge, murdered because of it by the Golem. His body was found at the Southbank of the Thames near Blackfriars Bridge ... the same location Sherlock uses as background for his website. Sherlock discovers and proves the truth due to the display of an impossible supernova on the painting. 

A picture pretends to show a scene from the past, but the massive explosion painted on it reveals, that the picture has actually been created much more recently. That massive explosion had never happened in the past.

The bomber’s hostage in the Vermeer case is a kid who is never shown on screen. The little boy transmittes a countdown from 10 to 1, that mirrors Sherlock’s own countdown in TFP (Countdown) while the boy’s plea for help mirrors that of the girl on the plane and also that of Victor Trevor, the boy in the well near Musgrave Hall. Victor Trevor and Musgrave Hall represent two canon stories -  The Adventure of the Gloria Scott and The Musgrave Ritual - both set in Sherlock Holmes’ university time, long before he met Dr Watson. Both cases lead back to a time ‘where Sherlock began’.

(Why Victor Trevor was turned into a child by @sagestreet)

THE HOUND & THE GUARDSMEN

Little Kirsty Stapleton’s cry for help in THOB to ‘please, please, please’ find Bluebell, her vanished, luminous rabbit, marks the beginning of the HOUND case. Chemistry, triggered by the pressure of feet, fills the air and drives everyone exposed to it, crazy. Love is in the air .... At the end Jim Moriarty (Mr Sex) walks free, released from his cell by Mycroft Holmes himself ... 

Private Stephen Bainbridge’s request in TSOT, regarding a mysterious stalker, marks the beginning of the GUARDSMEN case. Jonathan Small (literally: Jonny Little), a brilliant, ruthless monomaniac (who strongly reminds me of Jim Moriarty), stabbs guardians/facades with a ‘meat dagger’. At the end Mary Watson is pregnant ... ‘stabbed’ by ‘Johnny boy’ (Hamish=James) Watson ... the HOUND hidden behind the facade of the facade .... Matroshka ‘poppets’ indeed.

“Mary – lots of love ... poppet ... oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from CAM.”  (Telegram from Magnussen, keeper of the deepest and darkest secrets and scandals,TSOT)

THE BLUEBELL COMPANIONS

Alongside little Kirsty’s message about Bluebell there appear two more requests on the Inbox page of Sherlock’s website (they can be easily read on TV screen). In films neiter images and certainly not texts appear on screen out of coincidence. Pictures are there for certain reasons, even if it’s just for the purpose of a fitting decoration. Texts on the other hand are much more specific. Someone must have had the idea to put it there and someone had to create the image. Especially the makers of Sherlock BBC have repeatedly mentioned that everything that appears on screen has its meaning. With this in mind, what can be deduced about those two earlier requests in Sherlock’s Inbox?

1- Please help victims of China earthquake. It costs just 5p. 

China - right from the beginning a certain ‘easterly’ theme appears and runs from there throughout the whole story like a red ribbon until the moment the Eastwind finally approaches in the shape of Eurus. In a metaphorical reading I connect the East to emotions and memory. 

An earthquake is a sudden outburst of held back and bottled-up energie. When the pressure gets too high it results in a violent release of that energy. Explosions .... rocks crack, the earth shakes. Earthquakes can trigger landslides, volcanic activity or cause a tsunami. Major changes are also often referred to as ‘earthquakes’.

Costs of 5p ... A penny (p) is a coin and a unit of the britisch pound (£), the official currency in the UK (a currency Sherlock doesn’t know how to spend?). 5p is money. The saying goes that time is money. A minute is a unit of time. Viewing it in reversed order ... money is time = 5 penny are 5 minutes. ‘It took her (Eurus) just five minutes to do all of this to us.’

Reading it that way, a possible translation of the first request in Sherlock’s Inbox could be:  “Please help victims of emotional upheaval. It takes just 5 minutes.”  :)

2- Re. Mudchute Query

Mudchute is a railway station situated in the Millwall area on the Isle of Dogs. The name Millwall has its source in the large number of windmills built on the river wall in the 19th century. They were needed to ground corn and wheat into flour that was brought along the Thames. The original station was located on an old Victorian railway line that had been disused for many years. An elevated station opened 1987. When the line was extended under the Thames, the station was rebuilt close to the tunnel entrance. It opened 1999 and was finally completed 2009. The station was originally intended to be named Millwall Park but then renamed in Mudchute, refering to the engineering overspill when Millwall Dock was being created in the 1840s. (X)

Basically ... the second request in Sherlock’s Inbox is about a query regarding a railway station, built in the Victorian area at a place linked to mills (♪ Remember the maid ... the maid of the mill ...♪, TAB), disused for years, rebuilt and elevated, named, renamed ... until it was completed in 2009, the same year the Unaired Pilot was created. Well .... that sounds a bit ... familiar?

PERFUME AND TOBACCO ASHES

Appart from Sherlock’s cold case messages addressed to Jim Moriarty and two requests from - Kirsty Stapleton and Stephen Bainbridge - there are only two other entries on The Science of Deduction ... Sherlock’s own analysis about perfumes and tobacco ashes. Basically that’s about ... scent/smell and fire residues.

SCENT:  From Kasbah Nights to Claire de la Lune, perfumes play a significant role in this story and Sherlock is a true expert in smellig and recognizing the different brands. The first thing that comes to mind, related to the word ‘scent’ is a dog - more precisely a scent dog. One of the most prominent representatives of that breed is the Bloodhound. And it is well known that Sherlock Holmes is indeed compared to a blood hound in ACDs The Sign of Four. That same quote has been adopted in TEH (Sherlock the Bloodhound), it appears on John’s Blog and is read by Mary. But in Sherlock BBC the bloodhound isn’t only linked to Sherlock himself. The HOUND is also connected to John Watson, Jim Moriarty, Victor Trevor, Eurus and Redbeard the Irish Setter, also a scent dog.  

(The dogs in Sherlock’s mind palace  The bloodhound in his hands   Transformation of Redbeard  and the ‘Follow the dog’ series by @sagestreet​)

FIRE RESIDUES:  Sherlock has an extensive knowledge regarding tobacco ashes. This characteristic has also been taken from canon.

I have made a special study of cigar ashes—in fact, I have written a monograph upon the subject. I flatter myself that I can distinguish at a glance the ash of any known brand, either of cigar or of tobacco.  (ACD, A Study in Scarlet)

In TSOT drunken Sherlock proclaims loudly ‘Ash! I know ash!’  Almost the same words (‘I know human ash’) uses the guy from ASIB, whose aunt had been among the plane crash victims in Düsseldorf (’Sherlock Holmes baffled’). In the same episode Sherlock steals an ashtray from Buckingham Palace. In TEH Sherlock’s return from hiatus is underlined with at least half a dozen scetches of phoenixes, rising from the ashes, at the walls of the Landmark Restaurant. Another bird that has great resemblance with a phoenix can be found on Brenda’s gravestone at Musgrave Hall  (Among the funny gravestones).

Ash is the residue of a fire damage. Fire and burning is one of the main themes in Sherlock BBC. From Jim’s threat to burn Sherlock’s heart out to the gingerbread man burned to a crisp, from John’s Guy Fawkes bonfire to Sherlock’s admission ‘I’m burning up’, from the Baker Street living room in flames to the great fire at Musgrave Hall ... not to mention all the exploding or not quite expoding bombs throughout the show ... fire anf burning is never far away in this story.  

(Love is a burning thing   A case ablaze   Set this house on fire by @gosherlocked)

TOBACCO ASHES ... CHEMISTRY BURNED

Tobacco s the common name for plants belonging to the Nicotiana family. It contains the highly addictive stimulant nicotine. The dried leaves of the plant are mainly used for smoking in cigars, cigarettes, pipes, etc ... Nicotine is a widely used legal drug. The burning of tobacco results in smoke and the residue left behind is ash. Sherlock knows ash. Interestingly and unlike to canon, in this modern adaptation Sherlock doesn’t simply know ‘any known brand of cigar or tobacco ash’, he has analysed exactly 243 different types of those ashes and he explicitly corrects the number 240, cited by John. Is this seemingly unimportant correction just there to emphasise Sherlock’s annoyance over John’s mockery or is maybe another meaning hidden behind that corrected number?

243 ... ‘This is your living, Sherlock – not two hundred and forty different types of tobacco ash’ - ‘243!′

243 different types of tobacco ash are not Sherlock’s living. 243 different, tobacco products - burnt to ashes - are not Sherlock’s life.

As mentioned above, tobacco contains nicotine and nicotine is a drug. Viewing Sherlock BBC on a metaphorical level ... all drugs are chemistry and chemistry is love. The chemistry of love, burnt to ashes ... 243 times over. Hmmmm ....  Then an idea hit me and I asked Google a question:

This answer is from January 2020. The first official series of Sherlock BBC aired 2010 and the Unaired Pilot has been produced in 2009. I seem to recall that the first and the second series have been accepted by the BBC at the same time and since 2009 several more Sherlock Holmes adaptations have seen the light of day (Guy Ritchie Holmes, Elementary, New Russian Holmes, Miss Sherlock, Mr Holmes, Sherlock Gnomes, Holmes&Watson, Enola Holmes ... to name just a few). 

Could it be that the number of different tobacco ashes, analysed by Sherlock, mirrors the number of different adaptations about the famous detective? Sherlock Holmes ... reborn again and again with each adaptation, like a phoenix from the ashes, and yet he was never able to live a full life ... including emotions, love and sex?

‘All lives end. All hearts are broken’, that’s what Mycroft tells Sherlock in ASIB. Chemistry burned to ashes in an endless row. ‘So many days not lived, so many words unsaid’ ... says Eurus in TFP and referes to the coffin whose lid is adorned with a brass plate, I LOVE YOU, written on it  (A coffin for love). You are absolutely right  @loveismyrevolution with your idea of Sherlock standing between two ‘angels’ in that scene, although I would rather call them ‘choices’. Because this scene has great resemblance with the three solutions/choices Sherlock has to choose from after the event on Barth’s roof  (Solutions or choices). 

At that time Sherlock is confronted with two elemental forces ... love and sex. The one is represented by Molly (mirror for John) and the other one by Jim Moriarty, Mr Sex. Sherlock chooses neither one of the two. He backs away and walks a third path. He decides to live a celibate life - married to work - solely dedicated to reason and intellect, represented by Mycroft. That’s why he needs to create a strong facade to hide his true feelings for John. But then, unexpected and without noticing it at first (delayed action stabbing), even this facade gets ‘penetrated’ by John. Love (Rosie) is conceived and this changes everything. (Changing of the guard)

After the first shock (shot), Sherlock starts to go deeper into himself than ever before. He repeats the investigations about himself (the pink case) from a different perspective. Everything that happens in S4 reflects, in one way or another, occurances from S1-S3 ... arranged differently and some new actors are added. For example: the morgue-scene in TLD is a mirror of Sherlock’s fall in TRF ... it’s another Reichenbach. Eurus’ five tasks of Sherrinford seem to be a sort of ‘final distillate’ of Sherlock’s repeated analysis. In the coffin-scene Sherlock is once more confronted with a choice. This time though SEX is excluded. Sherlock has to choose between LOVE or BRAIN. And just as he did after the ‘first’ Reichenbach, Sherlock tries again to back away. At that stage though Eurus doesn’t let him. Sherlock’s emotions force him to go back to the very beginning, to find the truth. What that truth is and what consequences will come from it .... is still untold in this story, as I read it. There’s a final distillation but not a final solution at the end of S4.

“This is your living, Sherlock ... not 243 different types of tobacco ash” 

... says John, refering to his own Blog. But is this really the truth? The counter on John’s Blog stops at 1895 in ASIB and the text entry, read by Mary in TEH, is a quote from canon. Already in the first series, in TBB, Sherlock asks John - his blogger/biographer - to pass him the pen and near the end of S4, in TLD, John’s Blog has ‘gone a bit downhill’ and people actually think it's Sherlock’s Blog. This leaves the question: is Sherlock taking over the narrative of his own story now? What kind of story will it be? How will it end? Will Sherlock have to make a third choice in the future? A choice between Dr Watson, the ‘fixed point in a changing age’ and John Watson, who could be so much more than just an ‘eternal’ friend? After all, there are two Faiths in the story, two serial killers and Hamish (Jim, Mr Sex) hides right in the middle of John (H) Watson ... at the very centre of the web, one might say. 

Two times John    Pairs-Twins-DoubleOHs   Double OH seven Bond Air is go   The big question   and an excellent explanation of the idea about ‘Two-John’s’ in the comments on this post by @lukessense

Will Sherlock BBC turn out to be one more adaptation that ends as a ‘missed oportunity’ ... one more chemistry burned to ashes .... another sample of tobacco ash for Sherlock to analyse and add to his list? Or will it be different this time? Something new ... something big? Will it be the story about the emotional and sexual awakening of the literary character Sherlock Holmes? 

Only the future will tell ....

Thanks for reading and thanks @callie-ariane for the scripts.

February, 2021

[ac3id]

hi hi! can i get uhhhhhh bakugo x fem reader, where the reader is quite strong and has a nice quirk and is great in combat (easily like Mirios level), and at first she looks intimidating and unapproachable, but after living at the dorms and having classes together it turns out normally she's super kind and gentle and isn't scared of his outbursts, she's playful and likes to tease him and gets along with everyone well, and he ends up falling for her and developing a huge soft spot for her? ty!💖

--also for the bakugo x fem reader, you can write it as HC or oneshot, fluff or smut or both, i'll leave it up to you!! i really love your blog and how you write, thank you!! 💖💖💖 ]

hell yes!!! even though im shiggy’s whore idkk.... bakugou can just get it. also thanks for the love means alot 😭

ehehe im also planning a series for yandere bakugou 😋 y’all prepare yourselves

also eeeee if u see any grammatical errors or sm pls forgive me,,,, i wrote dis w my retarted phone fjdksksk

warnings: suggestive themes, it's mostly fluff doe, baku n reader are in their 3rd year 18 years old.

contrary to popular belief, i think bakugou is not a tsundere.

if he wants someone he does not give them mixed signals, he probably might just straight up go to his crush and claim them for himself in front of everyone.

he cherishes his s/o and would do anything for them.

with that being said, he dreams of a meaningful relationship but unfortunately. katsuki bakugou cannot fall in love that easily.

he has bigger ambitions like: training to become the number one hero. he does not have time for romance,

so when you come along, he is not really bothered. you’re just another extra, he does not go out of his way to greet you with a warm welcome like kaminari or kirishima do. he does not return the polite smiles you throw at him, he just doesn’t care. there a new girl? so what? she looks kind of scary? he couldn’t give two shits about how you look.

what really gets his attention is how you are able to keep up with him during training. you are strong, almost stronger than him. now, he’s concerned. bakugou likes being the strongest in the room and if someone threatens that, he is going to care.

both of you start off with a love-hate relationship, he is always screaming about how he is going to kick your ass, blow you up into little pieces; make you taste dirt. you always roll your eyes before attacking him and for the next ten minutes it's just the both you manhandling each other until aizawa breaks you two away with his capture weapon. you stick your tongue out to him teasingly, he scoffs and looks away.

the others tease you both all the time. kaminari is always making jokes about the sexual tension between the two of you. you laugh along with it, going up to bakugou and taunting him. bakugou always barks at your face and tells you to shut up, a pink tint forming on his cheeks.

slowly, bakugou finds himself thinking about you. thoughts about you keeps him awake at night, he has got dark circles forming under his eyes these days. all because of you. at first he does not understand, it’s just his thirst for being better than you right? then why does his heart clench everytime you look at him? why does he want to spend more time with you, talk to you?

it doesn't take a genius to understand what he is feeling, he has a crush on you. it’s unexpected, he couldn’t understand why it you out everyone he could fall for. you were always annoying him and treating him like he was an extra but maybe that was why.

once he has admitted to himself that he likes you, that’s when it's your game over.

now, whenever you are teasing him. he retorts back leaving you a flustered mess. you did not believe he had it in him considering how quickly he was to shy away before but now he is sending you mischievous smirks, flirting with you in public. you are left speechless.

the tables have turned, bakugou soon becomes the one taunting you and reducing you to a blubbering mess and after a few weeks, he asks you out.

at first, you think he is joking but the way his crimson eyes look at you with adoration and love; you know it is real. bakugou really likes you. you say yes, of course.

the relationship which blooms between the two of you is healthy and beautiful, you both joke around and have fun. you are able to keep up with each other, help each other and grow together.

in bed bakugou usually tops, with his ego bigger than his dick (which is also huge) it's no surprise how he manages to pin you down and ram his fat cock in you unforgivingly. but don’t be fooled. on good days you manage to pull him under you, and treat him like the slut he is.

neither of you are shy when it comes to sex, y'all probably have even done it in public. bakugou probably has forced you to put on a phone controlled vibrator for an entire day of school. he has the controls, he leaves it at low for the most part but while you're talking to someone he doesn't like: he puts it max without any warning. you try your best not moan, your face heats up as you bite down on your bottom lip smiling awkwardly at the other person.

he usually does it when you are talking to midoriya or todoroki, this man petty af.

make up sex is very common, sometimes the two of start arugruing over the most trivial things. those days usually end with bakugou pounding into you, showing no mercy or soft love making. it depends entirely on what you both were disagreeing about.

overall, bakugou is an amazing lover. he loves and cherishes you and feels like he is the luckiest man on the planet for having you as his girlfriend <3

[saint-cichol-is-watching]

A little heart to heart / Changes around the blog

So first things first... Hello

I'm actually making a post today to talk about an issue "between me and the game". Honestly I think you may have seen it but I've gradually lost interest for writing for Obey Me, the game still pleased me (and still does today) but it was my first time getting so involved into a fandom and honestly the experience was not that good.

I never received any hate at all. And I feel extremely lucky for that because it is easy to get hate on the internet especially with a big following but everybody has been extremely nice to me and for that I'm extremely thankful to every single one of you to have always respected me !

However the fandom in itself started to go down 'in flames', everybody started complaining about anything and everything the devs did and I slowly started to lose the fun to hang around the fandom and to provide content for it.

For me who had known this fandom from the very beginning, seeing it tumble down like was depressing. The atmosphere who was so nice and respectful was turned upside down and the place where I came to relax became very stressful to me who was actually diagnosed with anxiety.

So why am I telling you this? Am I quitting the fandom? Or am I simmly going to stop writing for it?

The response to those questions is : No I'm not.

Quite the contrary actually I am definitely staying, I love to talk and interact with the fandom but I'll be making some changes:

First and foremost I finally unfollowed the blogs that I personally thought were making me uncomfortable for X or Y reason or had an overall negative influence on my state of mind instead of continue following out of sheer fandom solidarity because I thought they deserved a follow because we part of the same fandom even though I strongly disagreed with some of their actions.

(Just a note if people are curious but the Obey Me Hosts Club situation is not included in this entire statment, because while it did not help with my relationship with the fandom it is by now an issue that is far much bigger than just the fandom. All the people involved that should be blocked in this situation have indeed been blocked and not just unfollowed and you should do the same. Please don't forget to check on @obeymehostsclub for all the informations that you need to know about that situation and the block list)

I will rearrange my request waiting list. Meaning that I will remove some requests, keep some other and make little changes like that. I realized that while I had many ideas for some requests I had nothing for some others and that definitely did not make me feel great and only made my anxiety spike along with my writing block. I know and understand this definitely not fair to some of you and I am extremely sorry about this and I hope you'll understand.

Following onto that idea my 'relationship' with the characters also changed as the game went on. For example Satan was always very hard to write for me but recently it has become almost impossible for me as I have a very hard time seeing him as a LI. On the other I love writing about Diavolo but don't often get the occasion to do so as he is not as often requested.

Which is why from now on I'll don't stress myself over this and write requests with the characters that inspire me. Of course when the requests will re-open I will definitely take your characters suggestions into account of course and try my best to write it that way but if I feel inspired with another character then I will definitely add him, if I don't feel inspired with one you mentionned then I'll post with the others and hold off onto that specific character for a while to see if I feel inspired.

When requests will reopen I'll ask of you to give me only five characters suggestions or less (you'll definitely be able to request the others once the first part is out of course) ! Maybe I'll write more of course if I feel inspired but five is something I can definitely manage !

In short I'm gonna think a bit about myself, finally try my best to have fun writing, to have fun managing this blog (which I already do thanks to you all sweethearts that you are but even more fun now) and relax a bit ! Being in a fandom is supposed to be fun and thanks to the recent atmosphere I started to find that nice atmosphere back so I'm feeling more and more motivated and definitely want to interact more with people!

If you got through all of this honestly props to you, get a blanket and some hot chocolate and hop on next to me for some congratulions cuddles (and if you don't cuddles just a nice conversation) !

I'm sorry for anyone that might find some inconvenience to my choices, I certainly did not do that in the hopes to hurt you, if it's any consolation you could keep in mind that the request situation might maybe just go for a while and go back to normal when I finally started having fun writing again !

Or you could just decide that my blog is not for you anymore and that's definitely alright sweethearts do what brings you happiness if my blog doesn't it's okay to unfollow I promise I won't hold any grudge on any of you to prioritize yourself over me 💕

Please have the nicest of day everyone and thank you for listening to me 💕

[nanasparadise]

Happy Hanukkah! Imagine a rom-com situation with any jojo family getting the in-laws upset at a dinner? Please. Hijinks anon please.

Rom-com holiday dinner with the different JoJos (part 1 to 6) fluff x gender-neutral reader

 Happy Hanukkah to you and your loved ones! I hope you enjoy the last remaining days of the holiday <3 I love this suggestion, it’s so cute! I did some headcannons with how the different Jojos and the family of their S/O would behave during dinner. And, since I based the family a bit on my own, expect a loooot of family members (many cousins, siblings, aunts and uncles) :D Have fun reading!

No TW this time!

All the minor characters are aged up (no minor content on my blog!).

 Jonathan Joestar

Usually, he doesn’t make your family upset since he’s such a gentleman. Your family loves him practically more than you!

The Brit always wraps them around his finger with his manners and charisma.

But, during the holiday dinner, even the soft Jonathan made the mistake of being too calm.

Your extended family, such as your aunts and cousins, are a whirlwind and he simply can’t keep up with them!

They are questioning him about the most private details in your marriage, which makes Jonathan blush. You try to intervene, but you are easily overthrown but your numerous family members.

Your aunt keeps shouting about how boring he is and that he should loosen up a bit.

Jonathan doesn’t take the comment personally as he knows that this is just how your family shows their love.

Eventually, your family manages to get the Brit drunk on red wine (he is way too polite to decline their constant refills) and he starts smashing some cheesy karaoke songs with your equally intoxicated aunt and uncle.

You wish to be swallowed by the earth, so big was your embarrassment. But your heart blooms at the sight of your husband, knowing how he is an essential part to your family now.

“Oh really, I shouldn’t drink further…” “Come on, don’t be a killjoy!” “Okay, only one more glass...”

“Look darling, I can totally hit that high note!” (He does not hit it)

Joseph Joestar

Contrary to his grandfather, Joseph is anything but tactful.

He does have the same charming effect as Jonathan though.

Joseph manages to get in fights with your family quite often: his big mouth and sometimes rude manner aren’t always appreciated by them. But he easily manages to smoothen the tensions with his bedazzling grin and oh so charming words.

For the holiday dinner, Joseph has promised you to not incite a fight.

But the promise gets broken, of course.

Your little cousin constantly bickers with him, telling him his scarf looks stupid or making fun about the time he dressed as a woman.

The Brit only has so much patience: so he tells your cousin to get lost.

The boy doesn’t take this too well and runs to your aunt to squeal about the incident.

Your aunt gets angry and confronts Joseph.

You glare at your husband, reminding him about his promise.

He sheepishly rubs his neck and flashes you an apologetic smile.

But in the end, Joseph and your cousin reconcile through arm wrestling.

Joseph lets your cousin win, of course.

You shake your head with a grin sprawled on your face and press a kiss on your husband’s cheek.

“Sorry babe, I guess I lost my cool there, huh?”

“Oh man, I lost!” “Don’t worry, you’re still my champion.”

Jotaro Kujo

Your family has a hard time warming up with Jotaro.

The stoic man doesn’t let someone in easily and isn’t looking for social contact.

So it’s nearly a miracle that he agreed to come with you to the holiday dinner with your family. You know that he did it for you, since he knows how much your family means to you.

Your husband is silent during the whole dinner and only says the bare minimum when being asked something by one of your family members.

You are aware of Jotaro’s introverted and unbothered nature, but you wish that at least he’d try to be a bit more friendly.

Your family thinks the same as they constantly try to spark some conversation between your spouse and them, which is very difficult, to say the least.

Eventually, Jotaro gives in and engages in your family’s conversation.

Your mother asks a bunch of questions: how is his job as a marine biologist going, if he enjoys the food, when you two will finally get children (they can be adopted or biological)

You nearly choke on your water because of your mother’s personal question.

You stared at Jotaro big-eyed, not knowing how he’d react.

The man clenches his fist, as he does not appreciate these kind of questions, but takes a deep breath. Soon enough, he has calmed himself down.

You quickly change the topic, not wanting that the situation escalates.

To your surprise, the rest of the evening is going rather smoothly.

After you two have said goodbye to your family, he even gives you a necklace as a present.

“The food is delicious, Mrs L/N. As for the children, we’ll have to see what the future holds.”

“This is for you, Y/N.” “But I thought we wouldn’t get gifts! I don’t have anything for you…” “It’s fine. I gave it to you, because I love you and I don’t expect anything in return. Now let’s get home, before I’ll say some more cheesy stuff.”

Josuke Higashikata

Similar to Jonathan, Josuke is quite popular in your family.

He is a sweetheart and a goofball, which is greatly appreciated by them.

Every time your little cousins are down for a prank,  he’ll gladly participate.

This time, during the holiday dinner, it isn’t different.

The kids and the man have decided that it would be a good idea to put some chili powder in your uncle’s (who can’t handle any spice at all) mashed potatoes.

They laugh mischievously as they see how your poor uncle turns red like a tomato and tears are rolling down his cheeks.

Your aunt glares at them, especially at Josuke, and says how a grown man could do this kind of childish nonsense.

Your husband’s eyes widen at the comment: he just wanted to have some fun with your cousins…

Knowing Josuke, you notice his puppy-like sadness. You are aware that for him, your family is his too and that he just wants to make them happy.

You go to your spouse and reassure him with a shoulder pat and a quick peck on the cheek.

His face quickly lightens up at your touch, which makes you laugh.

Your sister consoles him as well as she offers him her piece of cake, which he gladly accepts.

Again, you grin at his innocent joy as he swoons over the extra dessert.

“We’ve really got him kids, now didn’t we?

“This cake is just so delicious and sweet! But nothing can beat your sweetness, Y/N.”

Giorno Giovanna

Your family isn’t entirely convinced by the Italian man yet: they definitely appreciate his calm, polite and confident demeanour, but it also makes him appear distant.

Giorno and your family never get involved in fights, since his self-control is bigger than his ego, but there seems to be some tension between them

For this holiday season, you are determined to break the ice and to show your family the warm and fuzzy side of your husband.

During dinner, you keep talking about all the goofy aspects of Giorno he only shows to you In private, hoping it will make your family grow more fond of him.

Giorno is quite flustered by your stories, a pretty blush forming on his cheeks.

Your family does like this side of your spouse and laughs about your tales of him imitating a slimy Casanova in an Italian rom-com with a thick Italian accent.

Meanwhile, Giorno’s face grows redder and redder: he isn’t used to not being in control of the situation and feels embarrassed.

But on the other hand, he loves how your family reacts to the stories and feels, as if they might finally be able to bond.

Eventually, Giorno, you and your siblings are laughing and joking around while playing a game of cards and drinking wine.

“Please don’t say that, you embarrass me in front of everyone!” “Aw come on, look, they love it!”

“Amore mio, I finally feel like your family and I get along better. You know how much that means to me.”

Jolyne Kujo

The family gatherings are always explosive when this troublemaker is with you.

You know that Jolyne is all bark and no bite when it comes to your family (she would never hurt anyone you love), but you still wish that she would be acting less tough, as you are fully aware of her actual soft core.

Your wife knows that you just want her to get along with your family, but it’s just too hard for her sometimes: growing up without her father and with no strong family bond, she isn’t sure how to act around them.

It doesn’t help that your family keeps thinking of her as a delinquent because of her past.

This holiday, it’s no exception: within the first thirty minutes, your spouse and your family already have started to fight over the most stupid things: why you can’t consider cereals a soup, if there was first the egg or the chicken, why you can’t say that a giraffe is just a mix between a diplodocus, a leopard and a horse (yes, Jolyne could be really creative when she wants to)…

They really are just looking for reasons to piss each other off.

You, on the other hand, just want to get the people you love the most get along.

So you slam your fist on the table.

When all eyes are on you, you shouted that everyone should stop with this childish behaviour, tears building in your eyes.

Jolyne is shocked by your reaction: after all, she has never intended to hurt her spouse and make you cry…

Your family was equally baffled at your statement.

And for once, Jolyne and your family put their differences aside and finally engage in a normal and civilised, almost friendly conversation.

“I know you love them, but they just make my blood boil sometimes!” “Can’t you just try? Please, do it for me…”

“I’m sorry honey, I never wanted to hurt you… from now on, I’ll try my best to get along with them.

[cupidcreates]

for the ask prompts! since this is a deku supremacy blog, lemme get #13, 19, 23, 48, and as a freebee: what’s our resident dekutie’s dirtiest secret? -😌✨

Hell yeah sparkles Deku supremacy 100% also I hope you don’t mind but I’m gonna add 22 and 26 onto here because I wanna talk about Izuku’s 🍆 and kinks I just love him so much 😭❤️

(Once again all characters are depicted as 18+)

13. If they could swap quirks with someone who would it be?

I think before Izuku had OFA he’d probably take any quirk if it had been offered to him; but now that he’s got All Might’s quirk he’s very attached to it. That being said, if he had the chance to switch quirks I’d say he’d either choose Tokoyami or Bakugou.

For Tokoyami we already know Izuku think’s he’s pretty cool; I think he digs the dark aesthetic Tokoyami has and wouldn’t mind taking Dark Shadow. It’s such a unique quirk that Izuku would absolutely use having it as a learning experience.

For Bakugou Izuku has a lot of feelings regarding their past, though they have definitely reconciled as adults he still has lingering guilt about being All Might’s chosen successor; even though he really has nothing to feel guilty about. He knows Bakugou admired All Might just as much as he did and he knows Bakugou still feels like he was the one to ultimately end All Might’s career. If he could give Bakugou OFA he definitely would (nevermind that he has before) Plus having Bakugou’s quirk wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, he is and has always been Dynamight’s biggest fan after all.

19. What are their biggest turn ons?

Izuku has a FUCKTON of kinks and as a result is very easily turned on, just lean into one of them and he’ll be hard in less than a minute. (His stamina and recovery time are off the charts though so please don’t try anything if you’ve got places to be soon, you WILL miss them)

Nothing gets Izuku harder than praise, but it has to come from very specific people and in very specific ways. A random civilian telling him they think he’s cool won’t do it but if his SO were to tell him the outline of his dick through his costume was turning them on you bet that’d get him there.

Izuku also loves seeing his SO in anything revealing. If you’ve got any type of cute lingerie don’t be afraid to pull it out. It drives him wild to see your body hidden by laces and frills and silk. Just don’t get anything All Might themed, contrary to popular belief Izuku does not want to be thinking about his father figure stand in when he’s about to fuck you into the mattress. Shocker I know.

22. What are their kinks?

Buckle the fuckle UP because I have got a LIST for y’all

Praise kink: As I said Izuku loves to be praised, it helps dispel some of his lingering insecurity and self doubt. It means the most when it comes from his SO, but he especially enjoys hearing praises about his body. Start in on how good pleasure looks on his face while fucking and he might just bust inside you right there and then. Speaking of...

Breeding: If you’ve got a vagina I suggest you be on some STRONG birth control because Izuku can’t go a day without pumping a load into you. This is his biggest kink, he absolutely adores the feeling of releasing inside of you, coating your insides with cum and feeling you clench around him.

And he’s not one to stop at a single round, oh no you’ll be there for hours getting load after load shot directly into you. Izuku is a responsible person of course, it’s not that he wants kids right away; but mimicking the act of it, or even just hearing you say you want him to finish inside you drives him absolutely wild. 

He just can’t help himself, he really can’t. He’d never ever pressure his SO into doing something they didn’t want to, so if you ask him to wear a condom he absolutely will with no hesitation. But if you’re into this kink be prepared to have it exercised frequently and often without warning. Izuku is a horny mother fucker with an intense sex drive, you won’t go a day without being bent over some piece of furniture.

Somnophilia: Izuku’s days are lengthy and difficult, he gets very few days off and very few breaks while on the clock. The number one pro hero does have to be constantly on top of things to maintain status after all, so in comes the issue of spare time and energy. 

Make no mistake; Izuku has enough stamina to work a whole twelve hour day patrolling and dealing with various disasters/villains and come home to fuck you for another three hours before finally succumbing to exhaustion, the issue is that you’re frequently already asleep by the time he gets home.

So Izuku breached the idea of Somnophilia with you, just as something you could potentially be interested in (definitely not taking this opportunity to exercise a kink he’s been keeping in secret for years now, no honey certainly not). Basically if you’re already asleep by the time he gets home you’ve got an agreement that he can use your body to get himself off should he desire it, and you’re welcome to do the same should you wake up in the middle of the night.

He’s ever so careful when he fucks you like this, choosing to play with you or eat you out so you’re wet enough for him. He’ll penetrate you slowly, so as not to wake you up, and grind himself into you for hours, using your body to edge himself before finally releasing inside of you. You’ll often wake up with him still resting inside of you, hard and leaking inside you once again. Which segways nicely into...

Cock Warming: On particularly lazy days, the ever so elusive day off, Izuku likes to spend the day snuggled up close to you watching movies on the couch. And hey, if his cock is buried deep within you while you’re doing that then it’s only an improvement. As I said Izuku has excellent stamina and a fast recovery time but he’s also got enough willpower to hold himself back while you squirm and whimper on top of him. In fact he loves watching you wiggle in his lap, trying to get something, anything, by way of pleasure. 

Izuku’s so thick he fills you out pretty nicely as well, any sort of movement even if it’s only a slight jostling or him re-adjusting his position will send sparks of pleasure up your spine. If you’re good he’ll grind himself into you, being sure to go excruciatingly slow, but don’t expect to be proper fucked for a long while. He just enjoys watching you come apart on top of him too much to give you what you want immediately.

Edging: While Izuku may enjoy pumping load after load into his SO’s pliant body, he’s also very much into edging. There’s just something about driving his partner to near orgasm only to stop just before they break that turns him on. He loves hearing you whine and squirm and complain about being so close, it only makes the look on your face as he finally lets you come that much better.

Overstimulation: Speaking of coming, don’t think he’s going to let you get off and then be done. No he’s the type to fuck you through your orgasm and directly into another one. He doesn’t particularly care when you say it’s too much, he’ll whisper sweet words in your ear about how well you’re taking him and how much you deserve to come again. He praise you to heaven and back while fucking your oversensitive body into the mattress, keeping your hands pinned above your head so you’ve got no option to just lay back and let him force orgasm after orgasm out of you.

Domination/Submission: Izuku Midoriya is a pure switch and no one can tell me any differently. He enjoys dominating his SO just as much as he enjoys being dominated. He’s not sure what turns him on more; forcing your face into the mattress as he fucks you from behind or having you force his head between your legs to use his mouth for your pleasure. Either way you can be sure he’s having a great time.

Face Sitting/Oral: Playing off his favorite body parts (found below) as well as his Dom/Sub kink, Izuku will frequently pull you onto his face and show you just how well he can eat you out. And wow does this man know how to give head, his technique is flawless and often has you coming in under a minute. A kinder man would let you up once you finish but you’ve seen this kink list, you’re not getting away from him until his face is soaked and you’ve come at least five or six times. 

Pegging: Izuku’s not all about penetrating his SO, he will very much let them have a go at him should they want to. He’ll let an SO with a cock top him any time they like and he’s got a myriad of dildos for an SO who needs a strap.

He’s a whiny bottom as well, squirming and gasping as he’s being driven into. He cums quick when he’s being penetrated, unable to hold himself back as he’s being fucked with everything you’ve got. Don’t go easy on him, otherwise he’ll flip you over and ride the strap himself. He’s a sight to behold when he does that so maybe do take it easy on him if you want a show.

Mommy Kink: Don’t fight me on this one Izuku Midoriya has a mommy kink and I won’t be convinced otherwise. This one is the one he’s most embarrassed about because he has NO idea where it came from. He just woke up one day and decided it would be SUPER EROTIC to call his SO Mommy.

He dials it back if this SO isn’t into that but if you’re fine with it then just go ahead and make that “Bitch I’m A Mother! No Drama!” tiktok trend yours because he’ll be calling you mommy every other minute he’s fucking you. And as we’ve already established, that is quite frequently.

Primal: Again I won’t fight on this!! Izuku Midoriya is into the predator/prey shit, deadass. This one he stumbled across last while with his SO, just playing a casual game of hide and go seek in the dark of their apartment (as adults do, you know. Listen sometimes you just need something new to do alright stop judging). He found pretty quickly that prowling around in the dark in search of you was incredibly arousing. His ears straining as he listened for any sound that could potentially give your location away, he started thinking of all the things he could do to you once he found you.

You, meanwhile, were of a similar mindset as you hid crumpled up in the corner of your shared closet. Your heart racing as you sat awaiting him, thinking about him tackling you to the ground and fucking you right there in the closet. 

Oh and he did eventually find you, crouched in the corner holding your breath as he stalked towards you on all fours. You made a break for it but he was much too quick for you and you quickly found your face pressed into the carpet, Izuku’s hot breath on your face as he ground his hard cock into your ass already pulling your clothes off you.

“Caught you kitten”

Voyeurism: Izuku loves to learn and the best way to do so is to observe and take notes. He’s been doing this for so long that it just becomes second nature for him to record something new he sees, muttering all the while. So it comes as no surprise that he enjoys watching his SO, you don’t even have to be doing anything interesting! You could just be putting the dishes away and he’ll be somewhere in the background, just observing.

Naturally this carries over into his sex life, Izuku is a voyeur and arguably has been for the longest time. He could spend hours just watching his SO touch themselves, mentally recording their movements and what get the greatest reaction from them. He’s got your masturbation habits down to a T at this point and can mentally go through your routine movement by movement.

Some days he won’t even touch you, instead choosing to let you get yourself off in various ways while he watches from afar. He especially loves when he’s shrouded in darkness and you’re illuminated by a soft light. It gives him a rush to think about seeing without being seen.

Clothed Sex: Izuku doesn’t like quick sex, I think at this point that’s evident. He very much prefers to take his time fucking you into oblivion, but if he does have to get it done quickly he enjoys clothed sex. Something about being completely dressed while fucking you in your work outfit/hero costume really sets him off. Bonus points if he comes inside you and you don’t have time to get cleaned up. He finds the idea of you going about your day with his cum leaking out of you incredibly arousing.

23. Do they have a favorite body part on their SO?

Izuku loves everything about his SO but he has a particular fondness for three things: Tits, ass, and thighs regardless of shape or size. (And yes my male/masculine enby readers, titties does include pecks)  

Did I mention he can’t keep his hands to himself? Because he can’t. He’s particularly handsy and loves to grope his SO from behind, mostly because this gives his hands access to their chest and his cock the ability to grind against their ass and thighs.

26. 🍆 Headcanons?

It’s always the quiet ones that have the biggest dicks, always. This man is hung sporting a 8.9 inch cock that’s thicker than a soda can. He’s aware of his size and as a result will always air on the side of caution when fucking his SO. The last thing he wants to do is send them to the ER with a bruised pelvis, the media would have a field day with that one. (Number One Pro Hero Deku breaks his partners spine with his massive horse cock! More at eleven!)

He’s not very veiny, having just a few small ones on the sides, but he does have a mass of freckles all over his dick, especially at the base. He’s a bit self conscious about this but honestly it’s adorable and you make a point to frequently tell him so.

He’s got the same thickness throughout so if it’s difficult to get the tip in (which it will be at first, regardless) it’s going to be difficult the whole way through. Keep a decent amount of lube nearby and you can manage it though, and he fucks so frequently that eventually your body will just take the shape of his cock and be ready for him at any time. Which makes life easier for the both of you. He also curves upwards ever so slightly, it’s barely noticeable until he’s inside you.

Izuku has an excellent diet as he’s kept pretty strictly to it for years now, only ever having junk food every now and again and in very small portions. As a result he is incredibly pleasant and almost sweet to taste. 

48. Which of the seven deadly sins do they most embody?

It’s not that Izuku is the embodiment of Lust or Envy, it’s more that he doesn’t embody the others in any way, shape, or form. His connection to Lust and Envy isn’t strong enough to be immediately noticeable but oh how it is definitely there.

First off; Lust. Did I say that Izuku can’t keep his hands to himself? I don’t think I made that clear yet, he can’t keep his hands to himself. Make no mistake he’s respectful and would never touch anyone without consent, but when he’s with his SO he can’t just have a simple and sweet cuddle session without groping them.

His envy would have developed at a very early age and even after gaining OFA it wouldn’t have gone away. He gets incredibly envious of the abilities of others very easily, being very aware that regardless of how much he’s improved everyone with a natural-born quirk would have had more time than him to hone their abilities. It’s why he takes so many notes, he constantly feels like he’s falling behind. The silver lining to this envy is that it pushes him to do better and work even harder on improving himself, though he’ll never stop feeling like he’s at a disatvantage.

50. Freebee: What’s Izuku’s dirtiest secret?

Izuku is a horny bitch and therefore has several dirty secrets he’s taking to his grave. His worse one would probably be the time he got his bullet vibrator stuck inside him and had to go about his day at work with it brushing up against his prostate constantly. Everyone just assumed he was overworked or maybe even sick at the time, but little did they know that every time he ran off to the bathroom he was actually just cleaning the cum from his costume.

It wasn’t all bad though, eventually he did run dry and ended up just shooting blanks for the rest of the day. He didn’t have to run off every time he came to clean himself off but he did get several odd looks when he was unable to hold back his grunts and moans.

Needless to say he gave his costume a thorough washing after that day.

Sorry this took so long! There were a lot of questions with this one and I added a few myself ❤ I love Izuku so much and I wanted to make sure his asks were good ❤ (With the amount of times I covered my face while writing this you’d think I was a virgin)

[missnxthingg]

𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 • 𝕠𝕟𝕖

SUMMARY: Tom has to move to New York when his father got a new job and he’s afraid of moving to a different place. (Y/N) is daughter of a world famous fashion stylist and big wealthy lawyer. What happens when this two keep meeting each other everywhere?

Based on my one-shot, Flawless.

PAIRING: Rich!Tom Holland x Rich!Reader (Best Friends to Lovers AU)

WORDS: 6.4K 

WARNINGS: Swearing and vomiting.

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                              𝕠𝕟𝕖 • 𝕨𝕖��𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕣𝕜

New York is the city that never sleeps, at least that’s what they all say. Every single person that ever walked through its streets fell in love with them and the images stuck in their head like it was the most amazing time they ever had in their lives. That first step you take, breathing in the new air, you just feel like right there everything… works. Even though it had bad traffic, didn’t smell so nice and it was visually polluted. New York was magical somehow and it made everyone feel home even when they are so far away from their own. That’s how Tom felt like on the first time he stepped foot in New York. Renewed and ready to take what the city would throw at him.

When he first heard that he would be moving to a different country, he was fucking terrified. He was so used to London and his friends, changing it out of the nowhere would be really hard for him. He just started making some solid friendships and it was his senior year, he wasn’t ready to let go of the city. What if he got lonely? Or maybe they didn’t like him? He might be cool for a British kid, but maybe he wasn’t so cool as a New Yorker and people would laugh at him. Things for him were falling perfectly into place, he got a scholarship in one of the best schools in the city, his parents got an awesome apartment on the Upper East Side, but he still was afraid of change.

“You don’t have to go alone, you know that darling?” Nikki said to Tom when he admitted to his mother he was feeling afraid of moving. “The school you just got in has an exchange program and I’m sure the Osterfields would love to come along for a year until you and Harrison graduate. And even if he doesn’t come along, it will be such a great opportunity to you as an actor. Maybe if Harrison came along, it would be good for him too.”

And that’s the story of how Tom’s best friend came with him to America. But how he got there in the first place? Well, it’s very simple. Tom’s dad, Dominic, was a comedian and got offered to work in New York and had to move as quick as he could and he would be there for a long time. After a long conversation, the whole Holland family decided to move with him and they all had to manage their whole year again, including finding a place to support the whole family, a new job for Nikki and new schools for the kids. Luckily, the Hollands were a wealthy family, not extremely wealthy, but money never was a problem. Having their firstborn with a scholarship in one of the best schools in New York was huge for them.

The day they left England was the worst anxiety attack Tom had in his life, but all of the boy’s worries went away the first time he stood in the middle of the city, right in front of his building and took a good look, standing right next to his best mate, who rested an arm over his shoulders with a smile on his face, admiring the city just like the one standing next to him. 

“We’re gonna take New York City, mate.” He said loud and proudly, making Tom chuckle at his words, shaking his head.

“I’m so glad we’re doing this together.” The boys smiled at each other and Harrison nodded. He would never admit it, but if Tom moved and they got separated, he wouldn’t know what to do. The two of them were attached to the hip ever since the first day of High School when they met. They were too much alike, the same dreams, similar personalities. It just made sense that they were both there.

“Maybe we’ll be on Broadway very soon.” Harrison arched his eyebrows and that made Tom laugh. Harrison’s smile died and he rolled his eyes. “Why are you laughing?”

“Easy there, mate. You’re dreaming too high.”

“This is a place to dream high.” Harrison winked and retreated to help the rest of the family move their stuff up to the apartment. He turned around before he entered the building carrying some bags and shouted. “Also, I have a good feeling about this place.”

“Yeah, me too.” Tom shouted back and curved his lips into a smile before turning back to the street full of cars before coming back to help his family.

It was a long day of moving, especially since they were doing two apartments in different neighbourhoods. They didn’t have much to organize at that moment, no furniture, only clothes. The full house would take a while until it was ready. For now, all that Tom had was a small mattress to sleep for the first nights and a bunch of bags holding pretty much all of his stuff. One thing was sure, he had only been there for a day, but he was already feeling good about it.

“The apartment is just…” Harrison swallowed hard as if he was trying to find the right words to say when he met Tom the next day for lunch. “Fucking amazing! And the girls… Ugh, they are fantastic. I already got one of their numbers, a tall brunette that lives two apartments above mine, so you know… when our parents are gone…” Harrison arched his eyebrows and Tom caught him midway. Harry rolled his eyes when he joined the boys at the table.

“You will never change.” Harry ran his fingers through his red hair and rolled his eyes. “I thought that maybe a new place would make you guys change somehow. I guess I was wrong.”

“Harry, if there’s one thing that won’t ever change is our love for women.” Tom said frowning a little and Sam joined their conversation.

“Or the lack of love for them.” The brother that just arrived said, making Harrison laugh.

“Yeah, we don’t like relationships. So what?” He shrugged and leaned into the table. “Also it’s a brand new town that doesn’t know our reputation yet.”

Oh yes, Tom and Harrison’s reputation in their school back in London wasn’t the worst one. They were very funny and nice to everyone, but they were also known to be the heartbreakers and to get all the girls they wanted running after them. It wasn’t like they treated them like a piece of garbage for sex and only sex, on contrary, they were the nicest boys in the world and that was what always got them to fall in love with the two. But New York didn’t know that yet and they weren’t planning on changing their reputation because they liked it. Harrison tried to be in a relationship once in the past year, but that didn’t last long. Tom never even liked a girl, at least not in that type of being head over heels about her, heart beating faster and that good feeling on his chest. To be honest, he didn’t even know how it was like to be in love and maybe that’s why he had the reputation to be with every girl. He was still out there trying to find that feeling, but he ended up enjoying playing the game much more than winning it.

“New unexplored girls just dying to meet us. If you want, you can join us, Harry. Since your twin twat is taken.” Tom said, receiving a punch from his younger brother.

“Don’t mention Elysia. I miss her so fucking much and I can’t believe I’m going to do long distance until I’m back.” He boy leaned his head over his hands and rubbed his eyes.

“Ditch her and then you won’t have to do long distance.” Harrison suggested and received a death glare.

“She’s gonna try some other schools for an exchange program since Constance Billard didn’t accept her.” Sam reminded the boys of what happened when he tried to get his girlfriend to come along once he got the news and how that didn’t work out. “And you’re not corrupting my twin brother, I won’t let you.”

“That way he’s gonna die a virgin.” Tom whispered with a hand on his mouth and Harry rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a fucking virgin, I had sex wi… Why am I even telling you this? Fuck off.” Harry made the boys laugh at him, which pissed him off a little. “Can we change the subject?”

“You started it.” Tom did a weird face before burying his face on the menu.

“Shut up.”

(...)

The heels were killing the poor girl’s feet, but she stood strong by the stylist’s side while she gave the interview, displaying the most beautiful sleeve mesh black dress, designed by the woman herself, Josephine (Y/L/N), one of the most respected stylists of the world who happened to be her mother. She was trying not to look bored, but being quiet as if she didn’t exist and being blinded by camera flashes weren’t the most entertaining thing in the world. When it was finished, you couldn’t be more thankful.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) was getting tired of those events after two full months in Paris working with her mother. She was tired of the red carpets, standing in heels, making small talk with people she didn’t know and were only talking to her because she was somehow important. Of course, all the glamour and the pretty dresses were fun, but in the end, it was all just empty and a momentary feeling of joy. So when she got back to New York, she couldn’t wait to just be in her nighties all day and catch up with her Netflix list, maybe visit her dad and have a drink with her friends at the club. But she had to cancel because her mother needed her to be with the whole team on an event.

“Is it over? Can I go?” She asked her mother, who was now drinking a glass of white wine with a fake smile for the cameras.

“No.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes at her mother and crossed her arms, frowning at her. “Don’t frown, it causes wrinkles.”

“I was planning on visiting dad today.”

“Oh sweetie, he’s in Chicago for the week. Didn’t he tell you?” Josephine caressed her daughter’s left arm which made the girl snort. 

“He never returned my calls.” She said a tone under her normal voice. “Can I at least go home and rest? My heels are killing me.”

“That’s the price you gotta pay to look good. Or do you think I’m comfortable in these?” Josie glanced down to her outfit, making her daughter follow her look. She was wearing the biggest baby blue fur coat, a dress and high heels that matched the colour. “I just got used to it. You should too.”

“Well, I’ll only stay if you let me go out with the girls after we’re done here.”

“Where are you going?” 

“To the club.” Her mother chuckled and drank down her wine to make it go away.

“I already think you’re drinking was too much and you’re asking for my permission to go drink more in some club? Why don’t I give you the condoms so you’ll have the full liberal mom package?” 

“Since when do you care?” The girl frowned and Josie fixed her position to hide her face from the photographers in front of them.

“I’m your fucking mother. I’ll always care. So if I’m saying that my underaged daughter won’t go out and drink, then she’s not.”

“You went to rehab for alcoholism last year and you’re still drinking wine.” (Y/N) pointed her index finger at her mother’s hand, who shrugged.

“Casually, only.” She cut the girl, who took a deep breath to not hit the woman in her face.

“I’ve been drinking since… forever with you. I’m not gonna stop now. At least I don’t have a fucking problem.”

“Okay. So I’m cutting you right now because you’re starting to stress me out and I need a cig.” She got the shinny golden cigarette case out of her purse, making her daughter lose it.

“That’s it, I’m done with your bullshit.” She rushed to the door without even saying goodbye to anyone and not carrying about the photographers around her.

“Where are you going?” Josephine shouted from far away, not even bothering to rush after her.

“I’m going home, mother.” The girl turned around and opened her arms to show defeat. 

(Y/N) swam through the sea of photographers with difficulty, making her even more pissed off. The tears in her eyes weren’t helping her at all, only blinding her vision and making her more upset. When she finally got to step out of the building, she bumped right into a person passing on the street, a boy to be exact. He was slightly taller and he looked kind of pretty, but (Y/N) wasn’t in the mood to pay attention to that. He held her by the arms to prevent her from falling. He took a couple of seconds to look at her, but soon enough she freed herself from his arms.

“Sorry. Excuse me, I gotta go.” She didn’t look twice at him, just entered the limo parked next to them as fast as she could, leaving the boy paralyzed looking at the limousine driving away.

“Tom, are you okay?” Harry asked the boy who was still watching the limousine drive away. They just had their lunch and decided to take a walk around Manhattan to get to know it and they slowed their pace when they spotted an event full of photographers and a red carpet coming out of a building. Seconds later, Tom was run over by a girl in a black dress.

“Yeah.” He shook his head and looked to his twin brothers and his best friend. 

“That was a really pretty girl.” Harrison said and Tom nodded, running his hand through his brown locks.

“She was crying though.” He frowned and started to walk again, followed by the other boys. “I wonder why she was crying.”

“It’s probably nothing.” One of the boys said, but Tom didn’t even bother to pay attention to which one of them was talking.

“Nobody cries for nothing.”

Tom didn’t know why but he found himself shook with what happened with him and he wasn’t sure why. He saw her crying face and somehow he got worried with that stranger, surrounded by luxury and photographers, wearing fancy clothes and still so sad. It was like some of her sadness was transferred to him when they touched. But come on, he didn’t even know her and he probably would never see her again, why was he feeling so strange like that?

“Welcome to New York, mate.”

(...)

Before the beginning of every school year, the twin schools, Constance Billard and St. Jude, always hosted an event to welcome the students back with lots of music, food and activities. The students loved it because it was a day to reunite with their friends and eat some junk food, even though it was considered a lame event. After all, they were too grown up to participate in their lame activities and the music was always bad. But it was a good way to make new friends if you’re new, like Tom and Harrison.

Being new in school was like you were magnetic and all eyes were on you. That was exactly what happened to the boys and they felt a little exposed when they arrived. Normal people would feel a little embarrassed, but Tom and Harrison were liking all the attention on them, especially from the girls. A lot of people came to talk to them and they were all different. Some guys from the basketball team came to talk to them, some other popular ones and not so nice too, and the girls who were already throwing themselves over them. They even heard some whispers from them trying to guess if they were indeed British.

“I have to admit it’s a little weird. But I’m loving it.” Harrison whispered in Tom’s ear when some people walked away from them.

“Me too. One of the girls even got her hands in my back pocket” Tom said excitedly, remembering the pretty girl and her boldness when she let her hand slip on his ass. He removed a small piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to Harrison. “It’s her number!”

“Nice.” Harrison licked his lips and looked around. “Are you feeling hungry?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Wanna get something to eat?” Tom nodded and Harrison looked around to find something good to eat. “I’m feeling nachos. What about you?”

“I think I’ll stick to the good old hot dog.”

“So we’ll meet in those stairs, okay?” Harrison pointed to some stairs on the school’s entrance and Tom nodded, waving goodbye to his friend.

The first day of the school year was always an event for (Y/N) and for every single person around her. It was very known as the day she searched for new people to be friends with. It started as an innocent thing in her sophomore year due to her lack of real friendships during her freshman year. She was feeling lonely and felt as if people only pretended to be her friend because she was rich and famous, but it didn’t work at all, remaining the same for the next year. On the junior year, she gave up on trying to find someone for a true friend and kind of made a competition out of the day, making some crazy shit happen, like two girls fist fighting for her friendship. So people were looking forward to this year’s first day. (Y/N), on the other hand, wasn’t.

She arrived alone and didn’t spend much time looking around for new people to not give them the false impression that she was looking for someone to be friends with. That was why she kept walking to the stairs in front of Constance Billard’s entrance, where she normally sat with her friends and waited. (Y/N) knew that eventually, people would start sitting around her to talk and it didn’t take long until two girls sit in front of her. 

The first one, Courtney Bailey, was a very rich girl that could have much power herself being the daughter of a Wall Street stockbroker, but the lack of confidence made her weak and small, even though (Y/N) tried to build that up plenty of times during the past year but gave up once she realised the girl wasn’t interested in changing. She’s (Y/N) oldest friend since their fathers used to work together and Courtney was the one she would go to when she needed a girl to. The second one, Stacy Brummer, didn’t have the big potential to be a queen bee, all she wanted was status and to suck it all from someone without needing any work, but she was fun to be around, making (Y/N) remain friends with her because Stacy boosted her esteem, although she wasn’t trustable at all.

“Hey, girls. Good to see you.” (Y/N) said when the two girls sat in front of her.

“It’s good to see you too.” Stacy said with a smile on her face. “How was Paris?”

“Tiring.” She sighed remembering the two long months of hard work and having to up with her mother’s bullshit. “But it was good to finally be sure that I want law school as my future.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re such a fashionista! I always imagined you following your mother’s steps.” Courtney finally said and (Y/N) shrugged. They always thought she would turn out to be like her mother, but the truth was that she was tired of the fashion world and she wanted to prove the world that she was more than just a pretty face by following her father’s steps, all the way to Harvard’s Law School.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She sympathetically smiled at them. “What about your summer, girls?”

“I spent it on The Hamptons and it was amazing. So many pretty boys and I had so much fun playing with them.” Courtney remembered her summer and started to ramble on about it. 

“That’s my girl.” (Y/N) winked and slightly touched the tip of Courtney’s nose with her finger. “And you, Stacy?”

“I went to Los Angeles with my boyfriend and his family. It was nice, except for the fact that after it I had to start calling him ex-boyfriend.” She shrugged and looked anywhere else. (Y/N) knew that she was just being dramatic.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just had to get away with him for a while to find out it wasn’t meant to be.” The girls nodded and waited for her to finish. “He’s a dick, so I don’t feel bad.”

“Oh, there’s Noel!” Courtney pointed at the boy approaching them.

Noel Kaim was one of the most popular guys in school and one of the richest as well. His father practically owned Wall Street and a good part of Brooklyn buildings. Also, he was part of the rugby team and any jock in St. Jude was automatically popular. To help out, he was very attractive, with his dark hair that always looked good and in place; light green eyes that were so deep and felt like they could penetrate your soul; and fancy clothes that were a big contribution to his appearance. Noel had a small thing for (Y/N) since they met and they always had something going on between them, always hooking up when they had the chance and everybody in school knew they had a thing, but it never got bigger than an affair for fun. He was a good company and a huge booster for her self-esteem, also a good listener and friend, maybe the one she liked the most. Still, she knew he only wanted her because of her good reputation and popularity, and to satisfy his needs.

“Hello, ladies.” He said with a small smile of his lips and looking at both the girls sitting a few step under (Y/N) until his eyes landed on her. “(Y/N).”

“Hi, Noel.” If she was being honest, (Y/N) was also getting tired and bored with Noel because it was starting to get clingy and it pissed her off. In his mind, she was her property and he was certain that they were more than just a fixed hook up. Ever since they last saw each other, the day before she left for Europe, she’s been on the dry and even though she would never admit it, she missed Noel.

“So, you’re back from Paris.” He ran his fingers through his hair and bite his bottom lips because he knew it would drive her insane, which worked.

“And you’re back from Brazil.” She fixed her hair and sighed. 

“I thought you would have called me once you landed in America.” 

“Well, Noel. The world does not turn around you. I was busy. Also, I was pissed because you didn’t even text me for the past two months.”  (Y/N) smiled cynically and Noel got a little speechless.

“I was busy too.” He defended and she shrugged.

“I don’t care anymore. Anywho… I’m gonna get something to eat.” (Y/N) stood and bumped their shoulders as she passed by. He held her by the wrist making her turn back to face him.

“I’ll see you tonight? My parents are gone for the whole week.” He said keeping his voice low, so it would be a little more private, even though a lot of people were around to hear what they were saying.

“I’ll think about it.” She winked and walked away swaying her hips side to side because if Noel was playing a game to drive her crazy, so would she.

Leaving him on the cold was part of the game, and of course, she was dying for some hotdogs after long two months without eating real fast food and she was getting tired of all the croissants and fancy food, all she wanted was some dirty New York food and there was nothing better than food truck’s hotdogs. Her mom would probably have a heart attack if she saw her eating those, but she didn’t care.

She was much more comfortable on her own, eating that delicious hot dog and listening to the (bad) music on her own while searching for new faces around the students. She wasn’t looking for new friends anymore, but she couldn’t help if she was curious about what’s new around her. After a while, she came back to her friends and filled them up with new stories from her “vacations” in France. 

Tom was also having a good time with Harrison and talking to some other people that were being very nice to him. He was exploring the new territory in the best way possible, making a lot of new friends, getting familiar with what was around him and laughing a lot during that.

“So are you enjoying New York?” One of the guys they were talking to, Tyrell, asked.

“Yes. I mean, we love London, but we are loving what we’ve seen so far.” Harrison replied before Tom even opened his mouth.

“Also, the babes are helping.” Tom smiled and winked at a girl passing by, making her blush and send a kiss his way. The guys around them laughed at his actions.

“You guys are really fun to hang with.”

“That’s a nice thing to hear.” Tom smiled and fixed his hair. “To be honest, I was very nervous about people not liking me.”

“That’s impossible, you guys are cool.” Another guy, maybe his name was Fran, said and they all agreed. “Also, you’re stealing the spotlight. Everyone’s got their eyes on you two.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Harrison asked and the guys nodded.

“That’s a fucking awesome thing around here. St. Jude’s and Constance Billard care too much about popularity and it’s not even officially the first day and yet, you guys managed to get all the eyes to you.”

Tom smirked and looked around the new environment that was going to be home for a whole year for him, and to be honest, it didn’t look bad. Both him and (Y/N) were having a good time with friends until they felt sick and the biggest urge to just throw up. Tom didn’t get the chance to go inside the school, throwing up in the nearest trash bin. 

“Wow, Tommy, are you okay?” Harrison asked his friend who was now looking green as ever and could just faint right there. He shook his head, hand resting on his tummy and Harrison nodded. “I’m taking you to the nursery.”

(Y/N) got to the bathroom as quickly as she could and threw everything in the toilet. Luckily it was empty, so no one saw her thrown at the floor, reaching for her scrunchie to tie her hair in a bun. It all happened too quickly and she didn’t have time to even tell her friends what was going on. Courtney came over looking for her and found her destroyed on the floor.

“Oh, baby. Get up here and I’ll clean this makeup off your face and we’ll get you to the nursery.” She helped (Y/N) get up and lean against the bathroom sink, where she used makeup wipes from her purse to clean her face and a toothbrush from (Y/N)’s purse so she could clean her teeth. “C’mon, let’s get your ass to the nursery.”

The nursery was crowded that day and apparently, everyone that had hot dogs got food poisoning. Harrison was very worried about Tom and he dragged his best mate to the crowded room where the nurses were working their asses off to help everyone. One of them came to Tom and already knew what to do, get him away from Harrison to a separated room where he got an IV and was told to hold a bucket for if he felt sick again. When Courtney came with (Y/N), they did the same thing to her. When she finally got to take a good look around the room she was inserted, she knew that something fucked up happened.

(Y/N) never felt so vulnerable in front of a good part of the school, running for the bathroom to throw up, all makeup removed and feeling very ill. Everybody knew her as the power it girl that showed no weakness and there she was, holding a bucket in a room with at least ten people around her. Tom wasn’t feeling much better than her, a little embarrassed that he threw up on the first day of school in front of everyone. He didn’t even get to the bathroom to hide from the whole school, he had done just do it in front of everyone. But he knew he wasn’t alone judging by the faces around him. He took the opportunity to look at every single one of them individually, analyzing how bad they were until his eyes landed on her.

(Y/N) was sitting next to him, curled up in her seat, hidden behind a bucket, playing with the IV’s tubes and some small tears falling from her face, which she was trying to hide. And Tom recognized her, of course he would. She was the girl who bumped into him back in his first day in New York and was crying her eyes out. Her image was stuck in his head for weeks now and he was struggling to get it out. Why she was always crying?

“Hey, are you okay?” Tom asked keeping his voice low so nobody could hear what he was saying.

“I-I don’t think anyone here is okay.” She sobbed and cleaned some tears that were falling when she realised someone noticed it.

“I recognize you.” She furrowed her eyebrows when those words left his mouth. The boy talking to her was visibly new in school, but maybe he knew her from tabloids and the fashion world. “You’re the girl I bumped on the street a couple of weeks ago.”  Her eyes widened and she started to remember the last time she bumped into someone. Her memory went back to that awful event where she ran away from her mother and bumped into a guy on the sidewalk. She didn’t remember much of his face since she didn’t see it at all, blinded by the tears.

“Uhm, I’m sorry about that.”

“Why are you always crying?” He asked softly and she tried to come up with an excuse but started to cry harder. She cleaned her throat and leaned back into her seat.

“I, uhm… Am feeling vulnerable right now. You’re new in school, but all eyes are on me all the time. And I’m wearing no makeup, I’m green as a pea and I’m crying because I don’t like to feel like this.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re only human, these things happen.” He tried to comfort her and she shrunk in her seat. Nobody around there was ever nice to her, considering they all acknowledge her reputation from the second they stepped into that school. “Why were you crying them?”

“I don’t really wanna talk about it.” She lowered her head and they fell into an uncomfortable silence. She wanted to talk to him though, because no one had ever been that nice to her, especially on the first time they met and something about him made her want to know more. “You know, no one ever asked me what was wrong before.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He lowered his head and for the first time that day, she let a small smile form on her lips.

“I like it.” Tom’s eyes widened when she said that and he smiled give her some comfort. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“I’m Tom Holland.” 

“You’re an exchange student, right? Maybe Australia or…”

“England. I just moved here from London.” (Y/N) nodded and moaned when she felt sick again, but she held it in. There was no way she would vomit in front of a bunch of people. Tom was thinking the same, especially while he was talking to the girl who stuck in his mind for days just by bumping into him in the middle of the street, and now she had a name.

“Welcome to New York, mate.” She winked, trying to force a British accent, which made Tom giggle. “Just be careful with the food trucks.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever eat a hot dog again.” He moaned and she truly laughed, feeling a little better to be having a conversation with someone that didn’t even know about her reputation and wasn’t going to talk to her because it was convenient. 

“Well, that’s just not true.”

“You’re right, darling.” He smiled and closed his eyes to concentrate on not vomiting. “Uhm, I’m sorry that you’re sad. You shouldn’t be crying because you feel vulnerable. If there’s anything I can do to cheer you up…”

“Tom, you’re a nice guy.” She cut him and he nodded for her to continue. “But you’re new in school and you don’t want to be friends with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You seem pretty nice.”

“Well, I’m not.” She said in a serious tone and Tom started to feel bad because he felt as if something he said was wrong. “You’ll learn that people don’t like me very soon and I’m already anticipating it before you get disappointed.”

“(Y/N), I don’t care about what the others think. But I do care about what I think and I think you’re very cool.” She smiled again and nodded. “I guess the meds are starting to work. Do you feel better?”

“Kind of. I just want my bed and to be alone.” She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. People around them were too sick to care about their conversation and they were keeping their voice low to not bother anyone.

“Yeah, me too.” They fell into silence again, but it wasn’t that uncomfortable yet. They wanted to keep talking but were both insecure with what to say. Even though they had a nice moment together, they just met and sharing too much might not be the best idea.

“I was upset with someone that day.” She said once he wasn’t even looking, but it was a courageous step to keep talking to him. “Family is shit.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips together and looked at her with a little bit of pity. “Family can suck sometimes, but I hope everything is alright now.”

“I don’t think it will ever be, but it’s okay.” She smiled weakly and nodded. “Let’s not talk about depressing things right now or I’ll start crying again. Also, you just met me and I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in the world to think I’m cool.” He laughed smoothly and nodded. “By the way, huge mistake.”

“I don’t think it is. But I guess I’ll have to stick around to find out.” He winked, making her blush harder than ever.

They had to stay there for a while in observation, so they kept talking about some small stuff. Where they were from, Tom’s first time in America, some school things and from all the people Tom met today, (Y/N) was the best, even though she didn’t have the best reputation around both of the schools, but he wasn’t sure why. He knew she was popular and slightly famous, but the reason why she was afraid of being vulnerable and a little lonely was still unknown.

Tom wanted to stick around and learn much more about her and he could swear it was so comfortable to be around her and just talk, it all just occurred to smoothly. Something about her attracted him, but not the kind of attraction he felt towards other girls, this was different but he didn’t know what it was. She was just… different. Actually, he couldn’t put a word to what she was. 

On the other way, (Y/N) thought Tom was the nicest guy she’d ever met. For years guy only talked to her to get into her pants or maybe take some advantage of her. Tom just talked to her because he saw her crying. Although maybe he was trying to get in her pants, after all, she didn’t know him. But he didn’t give her that vibe and that’s why she was so comfortable around him.

By the time they got out of the nursery, Harrison had been waiting for his mate outside the whole time. He was really worried and didn’t know where else to go until he got out. (Y/N) found it very cute, but got a little sad that there was no one out there waiting worriedly for her. You can have all the money, power and popularity in the world, but they will never overpower real friendship and happiness.

“Uhm, thank you for distracting me.” (Y/N) said when Tom was done talking to his friend.

“Don’t need to thank me. You were a nice company.”

“I hope this school doesn’t give you the wrong impression of me. I’m definitely not what I show them.” She fixed her hair and pressed her lips together. 

“So you should show yourself much more because I like the real you.” He truly made her smile with that. “If that’s what you gave me.”

“At least I tried to.” They both chuckled and fell into silence a couple of seconds later. They didn’t know how to say goodbye to each other. Maybe just a wave, or a hug… It was awkward. “I’ll see you around?”

“Of course, you won’t get rid of me very easily.” He winked and she leaned in for a small hug. He was caught by surprise but hugged her back. 

“I’m sorry, I was too invasive.” She blushed and he shrugged.

“It’s okay. I liked it.” She gave him a small grin and Tom looked back at Harrison, waiting for him in the corner, to hide his blush. “I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“After class?” She squinted her eyes waiting for his response and he nodded. “Okay.”

“Cool.” Tom blush only grew bigger and he stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye!”

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

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[jjba-hell]

Remember the Time...

Ah, a reader-insert? On my blog? It’s more likely than you think...

Definitely a difficult piece for me so it ended up a post-mission, hurt/comfort kinda thing. 

A bit more mild with the trigger warnings: alcohol abuse, blood, kinda gory, at home medical procedure, some suggestive conversation, prostitution (mention but not expanded on- yeah I know I should probably get some better mafia entry but I think things might lighten up a bit more in the upcoming pieces) ANGST

We taggin’ @a-nonnie-mousse​ cuz I know they LOVE this mans (tho I don’t blame ya) Also to @lasquadraweek2020 and @giogio-gucci-gangstar​ cuz I need to interact more with my mutuals. 

Reader is GN! 2,2K words, good luck

You pushed past the entrance to the squad base with a groan. You were actually just after the medical kit Risotto kept in his office so you figured it would be empty but instead Illuso sat like a lazy cat in front the TV with his feet up.

“Well now don’t you look shit.”

You kicked the door shut behind you. “Of all people why did it have to be your turn to keep watch at the base?”

You passed by behind the couch he was sitting as steady as you could but the bullet wound in your side was insisting on some medical attention.

You got into Risotto’s office and ducked into the metal cabinet in the corner for the medical kit. Sitting down on the couch brought another searing sting to your side but you pushed through and peeled your bloody shirt off of your body.

“Care to share how the mission went?” Illuso’s voice rang from where he was leaning against the door frame.

You didn’t bother answering as you pulled on some gloves and doused them in disinfectant.

“Wait, what are you-?”

You went in with your finger after the bullet in your side, trying your best to ignore the pain, clenching your jaw shut at an attempt to hide what you were feeling. Showing any inclination to your pain would just prove the bastard in front of you right- that you were the weak link between them. You had clawed your way up the food chain in Passione only to end up here, Risotto telling you that this was the equivalent of ending up in exile- where they did the dirtiest work for the least amount of money. It annoyed you to no end but you couldn’t think about that way. You needed to push forward, as of now your goal was to compete against Prosciutto for second-in-command of the squad.

“Fuck, could you give me some warning before you start fingering your wound?”

Those words fell from his mouth two seconds before you got a grip on the bullet and with a scowl you looked up at him and brought the bullet out of your side with a sly smirk. “I know my way around fingering holes, LuLu. I could teach you sometime.”

You curled your hand around the bullet before tossing it aside.

Illuso gave a disapproving grimace as he watched the blood splatter from the bullet in a line over the concrete floor between you. “Relax- if it were serious I’d be bleeding out on the floor right now. Why don’t you do me a favor and go get me some booze?”

You had said that as a way of taunting him but Illuso simply straightened from the door frame and moved to Risotto’s desk. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and tossed it between his hands. “I’m not particularly good at fishing foreign objects from flesh but I can staple you shut.” That same smug smirk came back to plague you and for once you could actually laugh at that.

The last mission you Illuso had been on was after a particular plastic surgeon that knew a bit too much about the organization and the drug OD’s on the streets. The two of you were assigned to shut him up real nice.

Illuso had taken it literally with the stitching stapler before you finished him off and disposed of the body. It was sadistic, maybe, but the guy was mouthing off at Illuso in the lobby for a bad jaw job he never had- how do you walk away from that kind of disrespect without some form of punishment?

You finished clearing off the dried blood off of your side before getting up to sit tall on the arm rest of the couch.

Illuso took the stapler and rather knowledgeably disinfected the equipment before gripping your shoulder and looking at you head on. He wasn’t easy to read- it almost looked like what he was asking was more of an afterthought. “Let me know when it feels wrong.”

You were about to make a sarcastic remark but instead decided to brace for impact.

It burnt like hell but it was allot easier than getting stitched up for the little cuts like when Melone did it. It was quick.

Literally three painful staples in your side and he was done- feeling perfectly fine. Or at least so you had thought before the support from Illuso’s hand on your shoulder pulled away and you suddenly felt lightheaded.

You suppose he had taken a hint to your immobilized form on the couch and got more disinfectant and gauze. You let him wrap you up, keeping yourself upright to properly patch you up before he tapped against your injured side as if to signal him being done.

“There.” Was all he said with a stoic expression as he cleaned up the medical supplies.

You took the opportunity to hop off your seat and reach for the bottle to just try and dull the pain.

“Not so hard to take the help offered is it?” Illuso started, that same sarcastic lilt to his voice.

“Oh?” You took a swig straight from the bottle. “That was you offering help?”

You handed the bottle to him to which he reciprocated with a swig himself.

“I’m not hearing a thank you.”

You shrugged, deciding to fuck with him a bit. You stepped up and leaned in- giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for stapling me up, baby.”

Illuso dramatically rolled his eyes at that. “You have been spending way too much time with Formaggio.”

You took the bottle from him and walked out of the room. “I’m too drunk and too tired to drive home so I call the base bed.”

By that you meant the double bed in one of the rooms where the lookout for the night would spend the night.

You moved into the said bedroom and started looking for something else to replace your top- landing on an old band T-shirt.

“Nice choice.” You nearly leapt out of your skin at Illuso’s voice over your shoulder.

“Do you even make a noise when you walk?” You shouted behind you at Illuso’s kneecaps.

“Most of the one-night stands we bring over end up in that shirt in the morning.” He continued as of you didn’t just yell at him. He calmly turned around and walked away. You dropped the dinky shirt and ended up going for the plain purple one- hoping that you wouldn’t hear more history about the shirt you were wearing than absolutely necessary.

You came into the kitchen and found Illuso had left a bowl of pasta on the counter for you and it wasn’t some unexplained mystery how or why.

Now La Squadra, contrary to their profession, was actually a tight-knit group- some of the closest teams you’ve met. So when you came in, it was hard to try and meld into a group you dared say had no room for you but you’d be lying if you said they didn’t do anything to try and integrate you.

Prosciutto would lend you cigarettes or ask you if he should buy you a pack at his next stop, Ghiacchio always offered to give you a ride if you needed to get somewhere, Melone would offer checkups after injuries- granted that came with his lecherous side comments. Formaggio would even ask you for play bets when his game was on but Illuso had seemed indifferent to his teammate’s kindness until now.

You placed the pasta in the microwave with a heavy heart at your mistreatment of the whole team up until this point. You weren’t exactly doing anything to return their kindness.

So you brought the pasta bowl with you to sit beside Illuso as he stretched his feet onto the coffee table.

“Thanks for the pasta.” Was all you said as you sat cross-legged beside him.

“Don’t get used to it- that was my dinner scraps.”

Deflecting the thank you, should have known directly wasn’t the way to go.

So you didn’t bother saying anything else in favor of eating. Finished with dinner, you stretched out the same as him. “The bed’s yours.” Was all you said.

Illuso chuckled. “You’re easy to read, you know that?”

You didn’t react. It was a known fact that you flubbed like a fish when you didn’t know what to say or think.

“Listen, I’m a nice guy. Most of us do expect reciprocation but that doesn’t mean anything serious right now. I’d rather ask how you’re not used to this kind of treatment.”

You turned to him. “What do you mean and why?”

“You’re telling me you’re not used to the whole ‘newbie’ treatment?”

You scoffed, “Newbie meant getting life three times harder than necessary, not easier- you guys really are making a weird like that... Besides, why do you care?”

Illuso turned to you this time, that smirk on his face. “I deal with information. Recon and shit.” His face slowly soured into a scowl. “But since I landed on this team the rest of Passione had been closed off from me.”

You reached over to the forgotten vodka bottle on the table, sitting back and flicking the cap off. “Let’s talk then.”

You took two swigs per question, starting with: “Well then how did you end up here?”

Illuso laughed with his bottom lip against the vodka bottle. “I fucked a capo’s daughter.”

You laughed with your head back. “Figure’d you’d get here by being sleazy. But how’d you get caught?”

“Uh uh uh uh!” He took his two swigs then handed the bottle back to you. “You gotta answer a question for me first.”

You took it reluctantly, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Now you tell me how you got here.”

You didn’t exactly have an answer for that, but recently you had developed a theory. “I think I rose the ranks too quick- I was aiming at getting into Unita Speciale but that squad needs to be personally approved by the boss.”

You took to swigs and gave the bottle back- the quick succession of drinking started to make your mouth a bit more loose.

“So how’d your dumbass get caught?” You asked Illuso as he took his two swigs.

“Bitch drugged me when she found out I was fucking her friend. Got my ass handed to me halfway through the mirror- literally.”

The image of Illuso’s butt naked ass hanging out of a mirror in an attempt to get away made you snicker. “That’s too bad.”

This time you took the bottle yourself and waited for the question.

He cleared his throat and looked at you head on. “Do you ever wish you never got into this shit?”

You frowned at him, already feeling shaken by the personal question- should have known he’d want to delve deep while you were too drunk to keep your mouth shut. Didn’t stop you you from bringing the bottle to your lips. “Yeah. Who doesn’t?” You were extra generous with the swigs you were taking before Illuso tipped the bottle back down and took it from you.

“Save some for me you selfish fuck.”

He took his own swig but not nearly as much as you.

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you wondered if you were going to act out on your drunkenness or would you just excuse yourself before things got too personal. Of course your curiosity got the best of you, so with slurred words you asked- “How’d you get into Passione, anyway?”

Illuso gave the bottle a last gulp and without missing a beat answered. “I killed the bastard that was sleeping with my partner. Didn’t know however, that their murdered side piece was part of a gang. So when you have a on your tail and you’re too much of a coward to face them yourself, you run to Passion for protection. And you end up like me.”

You gave a satisfied hum and got up. You fucked up and you knew it- now he was going to ask you how you ended up in Passione.

“Where are you going?”

“The vodka is done and so am I.” You lied.

"Like fuck you are.” Illuso stumbled after you but once he was up he was much more steady on his feet than you were, trailing behind you as you wobbled through the hallway to the bedroom. He grabbed hold of your shoulders and turned you around- making you grab onto the wall for support.

The two of you, properly saturated with booze, leaned against the wall with your shoulders as you gazed into each other’s eyes. “How did you end up in Passione?”

You were pretty drunk- but not drunk enough to forget the pain that came with that question. The booze only helped to make you more emotional and more likely to spill the beans but you tried to turn around back to your destination once again but he grabbed hold of your hand again to stop you in your tracks.

“Pretty please. I spilled my guts now you get to spill yours.”

You balled your fists and tried to say as stable as possible as you turned to look him in the eye. “MY boyfriend had debts to pay to this shithole gang and he sold me as collateral.”

Illuso seemed to process your words and then almost victoriously said. “So THAT’s why you’re so fucking stuck up! The bastard stabbed you in the back, didn’t he?”

The words hit you and in response you pushed him away- it was lucky he was too tall for you to push over in your already weakened state but he did stumble back a few steps. “Fucking prick! Is that all you wanted to know? Why I don’t trust anyone? Why I keep to myself? I didn’t want to have my brains fucked out for the rest of my life so I clawed my way up through the ranks! Only to end up here! Which wouldn’t be so bad ‘cause I thought-“

You clenched your first again and turned around. You’d babbled enough at him.

“Y/n.” Illuso took a few steps closer again, propping himself up against the wall. “You thought what?”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat- might as well finish what you started. “I thought you guys weren’t so bad. You didn’t treat me like an idiot so I figured you must have had some kind of respect for me.”

There was a beat of silence as you two stared each other down- a scowl on each of your faces. Then, rather awkwardly, Illuso’s hand landed on your shoulder again and perhaps it was just because both of you were too far gone to have inhibitions but you moved into his chest, pressing your chin into the nook of his neck- his hand moving up your back to hold you in a strangely comforting hug, Illuso slightly bending down to allow you to let the pain subside into him.

He rubbed over your back softly then spoke against your temple. “I know.”

There was some understanding between the two of you. You quietly separated and he guided you to the bedroom where you ungracefully face planted down in typical drunk fashion onto the bed. Through the pillow on your face you shouted-

“Don’t go.”

You thanked whatever was ruling the universe that he didn’t ask you anything. He tiredly moved away from the door, moving you to make room for himself beside you. He kicked off his shoes and splat down stomach first onto the bed.

He didn’t lull you with lies about being able to trust them. He didn’t reassure you that it was going to get better. But you suppose knowing he understood was all the comfort you needed. As the night passed you over, you woke up with a headache only to see Illuso’s hand cupping yours in the space between you.

So you laid your head back down and slept it off- feeling at ease.

[meraki-sunset]

The game begins with reader finishing reading the epilogues, so we know that they read all homestuck (but not homestuck2) and finally understands everything that is happening around them.

When they go to confront doc scratch they find the place full of photos on the floor and that doc is fighting with slick spades.

That means I was right in my previous theory! And Reader escapes in the middle of the altercation.

But unlike what I thought would happen, reader does not just cross the portal and warns his friends about the arrival of the meteorites that lead to the 12 trolls.

In fact at first I did not understand what happened, but giving it a little more time to think, it is kind of obvious to me what happened.

Reader got into the fenestrated window while it was turned off. So they fell into the void that exists between the windows and got themselves inside a dream bubble.

just like Roxi did when her window got disconected, she landed on Meena’s dream bubble

And within this bubble, they find the retcom juju

The dream bubbles if you remember, they generate a mixture of memories of who is inside, and the bubble where the juju was kept was a convination of places from vriska’s and caliborn’s memories (from their lands during the game)

But being alone in the bubble, arriving long before anyone else to the juju, all that reader found were smooth walls and the juju itself, not in the caliborn’s denizen box, but on the floor.

Reader recognizes the juju and puts their hand in it, but not being a character of the web comic, but from a side story the power is too much for them, and they’re sent to the beginning of homestuck, outside of John’s house on the day of apocalypse.

Later Reader says they probably found the juju by accident, making this the point in wich this timeline divides from the canon alpha timeline. We’ll have to wait and see what results from this separated reality in wich nobody ever plays the game.

We realize now by how they describe everything so vaguely and calmly, by how he does not recognize John and that he is looking to make friends again, that reader now has amnesia, and not only do they don’t remember reading homestuck (which I originaly thought would be their motivation to change the history during this game) but also does not remember their experiences in alternia during Friendsim.

So basically we are at Zero again. Reader is delighted and eager to make friends again, with the added advantage that they can travel between time and space.

This gives them the ability to alter the timeline in the process of making friends. So without even trying, they destroy the homestuck’s narrative from it��s very core, which is,  they prevent the children from playing Sburb.

I always assumed that there was no escape from the game and that if the children did not play it, the meteorites would fall anyway annihilating the earth, and that the game was the only way for someone to be saved. It turns out that it’s not the case. The apocalypse can be avoided only if none of the children created in sburb starts the countdown.  (because other people on earth tried to start the game but never worked)

As an extra fact John mentions that the mailmen are unstoppable when delivering mail, which reminds me of mendicant. And in addition to the theory that pawns can not go back and therefore reader can not stop or withdraw from any encounter and if they do it, that timeline is doomed (reinforcing my carapace theory)

But back to reader, they seems to have vague memories of having been elsewhere and having read homestuck, because the encounter with John seems familiar to them although they do not remember his name

they refer to the first pages of homestuck when they try to remember.

And they think they remember making many friends and having died several times, although they have no memories of anyone or anything specific. The oldest memory they can recal is right after they finished reading homestuck before leaving Doc scratch mansion.

In a timeline, reader teaches John their powers and teleports him to a week in the past, where they accidentally intercept Epilog-John doing the same, and stopping in the backyard of his old home a week before the apocalypse to regroup everyone and choose the Plan of action on Lord English.

Maybe reader knew within himself that this would happen due to their incomplete memories in which they read the epilogue, but they guided themselves by following John's suggestions so it might just be a matter of luck for them to have found Epilog-John.

When they return John has a vague existential crisis after seeing himself from the future for a moment, similar to his extensive existential crisis after winning the game and moving to the Earth c.

Maybe John is not made for this heroic future (even tho he was created for it) and will always end up having crisis, no matter to how little of his magical destiny he is exposed to.

 In another timeline reader never shows their powers to John and they both just hang out in his room.

John implies that he does not have a good time with his father's cake madness, which reader worries that could be an abusive situation, but then he clarifies that everything is really fine and that he should not worry. Thing that calms reader down but still they still feel that they would be able to help someone in an abusive situation if the case ever presented to them (wich have actually done multiple times)

(Ironically, of the 4 children, John is the only one who is not in an abusive situation, contrary to the popular trope of stories involving teenagers, where the protagonist is the one in the most compromising situation which drives them to move the story forward, John actually was the only one from the group who had a loving family and stable home and lost it all on the game while the other three kids gained character development, friends, family and partners. Sad.)

Speaking with Dave, John tells him that the reader doesn't even look like a person, just something humanoid.

He mentioned that before even

So it’s finally confirmed by the kids that Reader is in fact not a human, like we all kind of suspected. (reader themselves seems to believe they are tho)

He also mentions that they are not wearing pants :/ (all this time I assumed that they did, and that Mallek had given them a pair as he had promised and that we as players simply did not notice due to the type of art in which reader is represented but, oh well. No pants. In addition, if it is a carapace, then they are a piece of chess created by cloning, no pants are needed, there is nothing to hide)

In addition Dave seems to be much less gullible than John and immediately understands that reader is not a mailman and that it’s probably their fault that John did not receive his game.

During the conversation reader scatters the things in John's treasure chest on the floor, like in homestuck (I still think they unconsciously mimic homestuck when they encounters scenarios they previously saw)

  And in the end they make a tower of cakes on John's bed and it should be noted that reader is wrapped in John's sheet in the same way that the mayor did with the same sheet and in the same way that all renegade carapaces do. (which only throws more fuel on my carapace theory, with y’all probably sick of hearing by now but i stand by it o:< )

That’s all i have for John’s chapter!

(yes i know reader is confirmed not a carapace, this theory it’s old)

i already have 3 word documents with Rose, Dave and Jade’s analysis i just need to organize them. i’m planing to post all the 8 kids first and then explain the trolls for convinience here you have a link to my 3 part theory for the oncoming hiveswap game!

Part 1 of Hiveswap theory

Part 2 of Hiveswap theory

Part 3 of Hiveswap theory

Link to the HomestuckTheory hashtag on my blog where you can find more stuff

[colossaldame-a]

   HEADCANON BUFFET !

   for the 50 headcanons challenge that @bnharpchub​ made i’ll be reposting the ones i posted in my main blog the other day ,  since they are pretty recent still ! !  beware that some of these might have spoilers ,  both for the main manga and for the vigilantes manga --- not all obviously ,  but a few !

she eats A LOT ,  it helps with her quirk since she has a giant hehehe appetite !  no seriously ,  she probably eats almost as much as taishiro ( fatgum ) ,  but due to her transforming a lot and training it doesn’t look as much ( neither does she want it to be noticeable ) .

she actually loves to play video games !  first person shooting games are the ones she is better at ,  but she will play everything !

her favorite solo game of all time is the last of us ,  and her favorite co-op one is gang beasts !  although just dance will always have a special place in her heart .

she has the animal crossing switch !

yu swears A LOT too ,  usually when playing though ,  it’s pretty funny to see her lose her cool ,  actually -

her setup looks like this !

she streams ,  but actually doesn’t show her face or reveals her identity at all !  it’s like a little safe spot for her it’s also a good way of getting money for the damage she causes while working !

on that note :  one time on a stream ,  yu got told that ladies shouldn’t swear as much as she did ,  so she spent the next 30 mins somehow managing to get a swear in every sentence .  she only stopped because she didn’t know how to continue anymore .

since in her original design yu had blue hair ,  i’m going with the idea that she had a tiny little bitsy emo phase back in middle school .  that’s also when she started to play more on her computer !

she has two older brothers ,  who are twins !  taichi’s quirk is the ability to make things big by touch ,  while koba’s to make things small !  her mother ,  tsukiko ,  her quirk is to make any part of her body grow :  hands ,  feet ,  ears !  anything !  her father’s ( his name is kimio ! ) is the ability to touch anything and be able to mold it into something else !

her brothers ( now both 29 ) ,  they used to participate in the fighting matches that rappa and miruko participated in !  yu is aware of this due to the fact that they would ask her to distract their parents while they sneaked out ,  or to cover up for them in case anything happened !

know how astronauts have trouble adjusting to life on earth again ,  because of how they let go of things in the air thinking they’ll stay there ,  but get confused when they drop to the ground because gravity ?  that’s kinda what happens with her ,  but with the size of things !  while in her normal form ,  she envisions things as smaller than what they really are ,  and ends up getting surprised each time !

since yu is the youngest of 3 children ,  she always grew up in a competitive environment and mindset .  that didn’t change much the moment she became a hero ,  always aiming for the top and to be the ‘winner’ .  HOWEVER ,  that began to change the more she grew as a hero ,  not having that mindset as her priority anymore but in the back of her head ,  and due to the recent events of the manga ,  it’s almost completely gone .

she actually knows a lot of puns ,  usually doesn’t say them often but she knows them !

the fight between her and nemuri ( midnight ) that happened on that talk show ?  completely fake ,  they planned it before hand !

yu’s favorite hero since she was a teenager was ,  in fact ,  midnight !  the mask she wears with her hero costume is in her honor ( now more than ever ) !

like momo and itsuka ,  her first internship as a hero student was with uwabami .  it’s thanks to her that she wears the curls in her hair bangs now !

she likes to jog at night ,  when it’s chilly !  this does not apply in the winter ,  though ;  too chilly !

as the only daughter in the family ,  as well as the youngest ,  she is spoiled .  it happened ,  it’s okay -

the only reason why yu got mineta as an intern after the sports festival was because of his color scheme being similar to hers .  the moment she met him for real she wanted to kick him to the sun ,  but alas couldn’t and shouldn’t and she knows that ( unfortunately ) .

the way yu and her family found out about her quirk was one time in a picnic ,  when she was 5 years old .  thankfully ,  they were far away from people ,  but it took her 30 minutes to be able to turn back to her normal form .  from that day on ,,  her parents started to buy her clothing that fit her quirk .  she had control over her quirk one year later ,  and since she was 15 she didn’t need to wear that special clothing .  although sometimes she still has certain outbursts and it causes for it to activate .

to everyone’s surprise ( not really ,  if you remember that she dyed her hair ) ,  her favorite color is blue !

her favorite song is timber ,  which is pretty ironic in itself ;  although she also vibes to wap !

yu records and takes pictures a lot !  and due to that ,  her tiktok account ( because lets be real ,  she has one ) is filled with videos of funny things happening while working .

she is bisexual ,  and usually goes for men that are older than her ,  and women around her age !  obviously this doesn’t apply if she meets someone she really likes ,  but that’s usually how it goes !

yu really likes asmr !

her nickname in high school was sharpay evans ;  she took it as a compliment !

since kamino ,  she wears her suit under her casual clothing --- her mask usually kept either inside a pocket of her jacket ,  or inside a purse she has at the moment .  that experience ( mostly best jeanist though ) taught her that she can’t let her guard down .

she knows how to play the violin !

one time she entered a competition of people dressing up as a heroes ,  mostly as a joke :  she lost ,  and the judges told her that her hair looked fake .  it took a lot to keep things calm then .

yu prefers to not wear much makeup ,  on contrary to popular belief !  eyeliner ,  mascara ,  lipstick and a bit of concealer under her eyes usually does the trick !  although she has tons of makeup and will often do looks when she is at home ( and if there’s any formal event happening ! ) .

yes ,  she liked one direction when in her emo phase .  nobody knows ,  it’s her dark secret ;  even darker than that whole phase itself and yes ,  she cried when zayn left .

yu doesn’t like kids ,  at all .  teenagers are alright though ,  she supposes .

yu ,  tsunagu and keigo ( best jeanist and hawks ,  or rather :  @fiibermaster​ and @perditus​ ) have weekly meetings to spill the tea .  honorary members are katsuki and neito ,  though .

continuing from above ,  that’s how she always knows the spiciest drama that happen .  it’s pretty funny ,  actually .

continuing of from 33 ,  @perditus​‘s keigo is absolutely her best friend .

since her quirk only allows her to have those two heights ,  yu has taken upon herself to learn and and know more of 1v1 combat ,  meaning beginning to train more martial arts .

her favorite movie is legally blonde !  and her favorite series is new girl !  although her favorite character of all time is tanya from mamma mia ! !

her favorite animal are squirrels !  she finds them cute and that’s why she has caroline in her island in animal crossing ! !

yu’s taste in music is very sporadic ,  although a lot of songs end up being slightly suggestive .  here’s her playlist .

yu has met both @explodeking​‘s katsuki and @shockingtm​‘s denki through gaming online .  when she heard their voices she went pikachu shocked face !

mentioning katsuki ;  you bet your ass she absolutely went and asked about the kids first thing after waking up after kamino .

she might have gotten a few scars from kamino ward ,  but she actually absolutely cherishes them .  because those scars reminder her of how they trusted her for such important mission ,  to be able to work along heroes that were in the top 10 .  it actually means a lot to her ,  although if asked yu will just shrug it off .

she likes to camp and hike !  granted ,  she hates it because no wifi and no games ,  but that way she can use her quirk without much trouble of hurting people or destroying things and therefore relax a little .

yu naturally smells of roses and surprisingly ;  rain .

unlike many ,  yu doesn’t even think on quitting her job after the war :  in fact the whole thing that happened made her grow more stubborn about it .  also made her realize how much she still has to grow as a hero ,  and she can’t wait to leave the hospital and start training and helping those who need it right now .

it took her one day to wake up after what happened too ,  and while she did have many injuries ,  the worst ones ended up being on her head .  right now it’s mostly wrapped up ,  and she has been having many headaches even with the pain killers .

she doesn’t like spicy food that much ,  but she will eat it either way .

in her giant form ,  she will often whisper ;  since if she speaks normally ,  it’s already pretty loud .

and finally !  the glare that machia gave her right before grabbing her head and throwing to the side ;  it scares her still .  in that moment she realized he was basically just playing around ,  while she was doing her most to stop him .  she has nightmares about it still .

[lo-lynx]

No cock = no sexuality? Geldings in ASOIAF

TW: Rape, violence, sexism, racism

Spoiler warning: Spoilers for all A Song of Ice and Fire books

“Lord Crow is welcome to steal into my bed any night he dares. Once he's been gelded, keeping those vows will come much easier for him."- Val, A Dance with Dragons, Jon XI

First of all, this is a great quote by Val. Second of all, I’ve noticed that this idea of gelding/castration to reduce/remove male sexuality occurs relatively often in ASOIAF. Before I go any further, I feel like I should clarify that one’s genitalia does not determine one’s gender. A person with a penis is not necessarily a man, and a man does not necessarily have a penis. However, both in our world and in the world of ASOIAF people insist on thinking that and tend to place quite a lot of significance in specifically penises. I’ve written before on this blog about eunuchs, masculinity, gender etc, so in this essay I want to look at that issue from another angle, namely the assumption that no cock = no sexuality.

A while back when I was doing research for this essay about Vary and masculinity, I came upon this quote from the book Eunuchs in Antiquity and Beyond:

Why were men castrated? Several reasons can be advanced: control and domination, punishment, political reasons, need for special qualities or abilities, religious, sexual or erotic reasons, and medical or health reasons. Some ancient writers emphasized that eunuchs were easier to control. (…) In the United States in recent years there have been several movements to castrate, either literally or chemically, individuals involved in sex crimes, especially those involving adults with children. (…) How effective physical castration is in preventing sex crimes is debatable, in spite of public belief to the contrary. (Bullough 2002, 5-7)

Now, I think we can all agree that sex crimes should be punished. But this quote made me think about the practice of castration/gelding as punishment as it occurs in ASOIAF, especially since this quote states that the effectiveness of this is debatable. When doing research for this essay I searched A Search of Ice and Fire for the word “gelded” and got 55 results. Now, loads of those were about gelded horses, but 21 are about gelding people. Of those 21 results I judged 13 to be about how gelding was being used as punishment (mainly for sex crimes), six about how gelding would be used as preventive measures against sex crimes (and two I didn’t know how to categorise). I’ll go into some of these instances here, as I try to explore what gelding as punishment/preventive measure against sex crimes says about the view on masculinity and male sexuality in ASOIAF.

Now, first some background on masculinity and male sexuality. I’ve written EXTENSIVLY before on how from antiquity until modern times for someone to be seen as a “real man” their body and sexual behaviour has had to fit certain criteria. If you want to read more on that, go read my essay on Varys. But briefly: to be a real man according to (Western) society (from Ancient Greece until now) you have to act manly (be strong, in control etc), have a penis, testicles, have penetrative sex (preferably with women), and father children (or at least be capable of fathering children). So, if you’re castrated you can’t be a “real man”? Well, according to Westerosi logic, the answer is pretty much no. (See this and this essay) The consequences of these masculine ideals are quite clear in ASOIAF, as for instance researcher Shiloh Carroll have pointed out:

Martin rejects the idea that chivalry created an ideal society where men fought only to protect their women or in grand, bloodless tournaments, instead creating a society in which chivalry is a thin veneer over a violent, toxic masculinity that victimizes men, women, and children alike. Martin’s Westeros does not reward chivalry, does not even really believe in chivalry as more than a masquerade behind which ‘true’ masculinity- violent, aggressive, and misogynist- hides. (2018, 56)

As Carroll also points out, one of the clearest examples of this is the prevalence of rape in the story. According to her, it seems as if most characters in story believe that most if not all men are capable of rape (ibid, 93). It also seems clear that most of the time, such crimes are not punished. But let’s look at some instances where it’s at least on the table:

A former slave came, to accuse a certain noble of the Zhak. The man had recently taken to wife a freedwoman who had been the noble's bedwarmer before the city fell. The noble had taken her maidenhood, used her for his pleasure, and gotten her with child. Her new husband wanted the noble gelded for the crime of rape, and he wanted a purse of gold as well, to pay him for raising the noble's bastard as his own. Dany granted him the gold, but not the gelding. "When he lay with her, your wife was his property, to do with as he would. By law, there was no rape." Her decision did not please him, she could see, but if she gelded every man who ever forced a bedslave, she would soon rule a city of eunuchs.

(A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys I)

 ‘King Stannis keeps his men well in hand, that's plain. He lets them plunder some, but I've only heard of three wildling women being raped, and the men who did it have all been gelded.’

(Jon in A Storm of Swords, Samwell IV)

 ‘Well now,’ the serjant said, ‘naked steel. Seems to me I smell an outlaw. You know what Lord Tarly does with outlaws?’ He still held the egg he’d taken from the cart. His hand closed, and the yolk oozed through his fingers.

‘I know what Lord Randyll does with outlaws,’ Brienne said. ‘I know what he does with rapers too.’

She had hoped the name might cow them, but the serjant only flicked egg off his fingers and signalled to his men to spread out. Brienne found herself surrounded by steel points. ‘What was it you were saying, wench? What is it Lord Tarly does to…’

‘…rapers,’ a deeper voice finished. ‘He gelds them or sends them to the Wall. Sometimes both. And he cuts fingers off thieves.’

(A Feast for Crows, Brienne III)

Now, the two first people on that list are people we as readers tend to sympathise with and think are good people most of the time. Randyl Tarly much less so. But what these quotes do show are that gelding as punishment for rape is widely accepted, both in Westeros and Essos (even if Dany doesn’t grant that punishment in that specific quote it seems clear that she wanted to and would in other circumstances). It’s also interesting to note how, in the passage about Lord Tarly’s punishment of rape, it is also noted that the punishment for theft is the cutting off of fingers. One can see a parallel here, with in both cases the ostensible guilty body part being cut off (with rape the genitalia, with thievery the fingers). This attitude to punishment can be seen as playing into the so called “disability as punishment trope”. Researcher Mia Harrison describes that trope thusly:

The ‘disability as punishment’ trope is one of the oldest disability tropes, with its roots stretching back to biblical and mythological narratives. The trope is frequently used in classical stories where characters are blinded as direct or implied punishment for wrongdoing such as the biblical Zedekiah and Tobit, Rhoecus and Phineus of Greek mythology, and Peeping Tom in the legend of Lady Godiva. (Harrison 2018, 29)

Now, while one might want to punish rapists, one should remember that it’s not clear that sure castration actually makes people less likely to rape again. So, we’re really just punishing people with a disability, and by doing that essentially saying that a disability is a punishment.

Now, as I mentioned earlier in this essay, there’s also several cases of what I’ve called “preventive gelding”. The most prominent of these are of course the Unsullied, but I want to begin with a quote from Jaime III in A Feast for Crows when he talks with Ser Bonifer Hasty, who have been tasked with holding Harrenhal:

He was sober, just, and dutiful, and his Holy Eighty-Six were as well disciplined as any soldiers in the Seven Kingdoms, and made a lovely sight as they wheeled and pranced their tall grey geldings. Littlefinger had once quipped that Ser Bonifer must have gelded the riders too, so spotless was their repute.

So, here, similarly to the quote from Val that started this essay, a joke is made about gelding men to make them not rape people. The whole premise of the joke that Jaime remembers is that men cannot possible control themselves, and their sexual lusts, if they still have their genitalia. But, as I said, the most prominent example of “preventive gelding” in the books are the Unsullied. Here, I will once again quote Mia Harisson, because while she analyses the show, not the books, her point still stands, and I simply cannot put it better than she does:

The Unsullied are the most normalized example of eunuchs in Game of Thrones. Children are sold from a young age to the Unsullied slavemasters, with males being trained as highly obedient soldiers. Their names are taken from them, instead being replaced with that of vermin such as ‘Red Flea’ and ‘Grey Worm’, and their genitals are removed in the final stages of training. They are described as having ‘absolute obedience, absolute loyalty’ (…) The Unsullied body is systemized into fragments that are categorized as ‘useful’ (the parts of the body can be used to fight) and ‘useless’ (the parts of the body that cannot. The slave master demonstrates the systemization of the Unsullied body by slicing off the nipple of one of his soldiers while explaining that ‘men don’t need nipples’. The Unsullied challenge notions of ‘able-bodied heterosexuality’ by considering the sexual, able body as not simply unnecessary, but an obstacle toward obedience (…) The Unsullied do not embody a masculine identity- they are not considered men at all. This is not to suggest, however, that the Unsullied should be considered positive examples of non-normative identity representation. Instead, they present a clear idea of what should be considered the ‘acceptable’ queer or disabled body: docile, compliant, and useful only in the service of others. (Harrison 2018, 38)

So, the idea of gelding the Unsullied is that they will be obedient, and that their bodies can be utilized in the most effective way. It is also clear in the books that one of the so called “perks” of the Unsullied is that they won’t rape and plunder, for instance:

‘Your Grace,’ said Jorah Mormont, ‘I saw King's Landing after the Sack. Babes were butchered that day as well, and old men, and children at play. More women were raped than you can count. There is a savage beast in every man, and when you hand that man a sword or spear and send him forth to war, the beast stirs. The scent of blood is all it takes to wake him. Yet I have never heard of these Unsullied raping, nor putting a city to the sword, nor even plundering, save at the express command of those who lead them. Brick they may be, as you say, but if you buy them henceforth the only dogs they'll kill are those you want dead.’ (A Storm of Swords, Daenerys II)

So, soldiers who won’t rape and plunder, sounds great, right? Well, the drawback is of course that the only way characters can see this happening is by pre-emptively gelding them. Now, this is hardly unique to ASOIAF, during antiquity slaves were also castrated because it was believed this made them easier to control (Bullough 2002, 6). During this time eunuchs were also often servants to women at court, perhaps most famously in harems (Llewellyn-Jones 2002, 34). In part this connection between women and eunuchs seems to have been because both women and eunuchs were considered “imperfect creatures and incomplete human specimens” since they lacked testicles (ibid). Both women and eunuchs were also seen as sexually available, due to their lower social standing than men, which was the case in Ancient Greece as well as in “the East” (for a longer discussion about sexuality during antiquity and how it relates to eunuchs, see my essay about Varys). It is important to note here, that the contemporary and Western view of harems as a space where women were locked up is not necessarily accurate to historical sources. As Llewellyn-Jones points out, harems could often just refer to groups of women, not necessarily places, or something that were out of bounds (note the similarity to the word “haram”). Women in these harems could also often have great influence over court life, in many ways similarly to the noblewomen of ASOIAF. But, in the Western orientalist fantasy, the idea of eunuchs guarding rooms filled with women just waiting to have sex with men, seems to have stuck.

I want to briefly touch on another aspect of this, which is the idea of the sexually (non-)threatening man of colour. Now, throughout history, people from outside of ones own ethnic group have generally been seen as threatening (I’m not even gonna provide a source for that). In the contemporary Global North, this figure of the dangerous Other is often seen specifically as the non-western person (Ahmed 2004). Specifically in contemporary US (as well as historical US of course), one of the forms this takes is the racist idea of the dangerous black man. In contemporary America (and across the world), one of the ways this becomes clear is of course in the racist killings of black people (so I hope you all have supported the Black Lives Matter movement in whatever way you can!). Another way is, as black feminist and scholar bell hooks has pointed out, the way black masculinity is portrayed in movies. The good black man, hooks writes, “not only accepts his subordinate status, he testifies on behalf of and exults in white male superiority. (…) [this] character shows no romantic interest in the white female hero. He is merely protecting.” (ibid, 108). Now, I am NOT saying that this the exact same as with the Unsullied. For one, the fictional space of Slaver’s Bay is not the exact same as the real-life United States (even if there are a lot of parallels between Slaver’s Bay and Reconstruction, as for instance Steven Attewell has pointed out) And Dany actively tries to change oppressive power structures. But I find it interesting some of Daenerys’ most loyal fighting forces, who is very clearly Eastern coded (even if they have different ethnicities) are described as completely incapable of being a sexual threat to her. This can be compared to for instance the Dothraki, who are constantly connected to rape and (sexual) violence. As others have noted, the way that the Dothraki are described often invoke Orientalist imagines of the ‘Other’ as sexually deprived, and dangerous (Carroll 2018, 121) While Dany have some loyal Dothraki followers who respect her as a khaleesi, as soon as she interacts with one that is not from her khalasar, she thinks that this person might rape her (i.e. A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys X). Now, one could argue that this doesn’t have to do as much with race/ethnicity as just the fact that most characters in ASOIAF seems to assume that all men are potential rapists. But the contrast between these Eastern men (the Dothraki and the Unsullied), and how they are portrayed, is interesting. The Dothraki are sexual, violent, and a threat to Dany and other women. The Unsullied are not sexual, and while they are violent, they are not a threat specifically to women. They’re just a weapon, controlled by others.

 So, in conclusion, gelding in ASOIAF seemingly takes place as a punishment for rape, and as a way to prevent rape. Both of these practices seem to assume two things; firstly, that being gelded works to prevent rape, and secondly, that this is the only (or at least the most effective) way to control male sexuality. The validity of both of these things can be questioned. For one, I would like to believe that it would be possible for men to not rape people without their genitalia being cut off. But also, genitalia are not necessarily needed for sex or sexual violence. People can get creative. The last point that I want to address here is whether this argument about masculinity and sexuality (and race/ethnicity) is something that GRRM believes, or if it’s just something his characters believes. I honestly don’t know. As Shiloh Carroll has pointed out (2018, 56), GRRM sometimes seemingly makes deliberate points about how medieval society wasn’t just filled with chivalry, but also (sexual) violence. Does that mean he believes that male sexuality is uncontrollable? Probably not. But since he tries to get the point across about the darker side of medieval society, and probably also pulls on historical ideas of geldings and eunuchs, it might come off like that. This is especially unfortunate, in my opinion, when it also plays into racialized tropes about the ethnic Other’s violent sexuality, that must be controlled.

 References

Ahmed, Sara. 2004. “On Collective Feelings, or the Impressions Left by Others”, Theory, Culture and Society, 20(1):25-42.

Attewell, Steven. 2015. “A Laboratory of Politics Part VI”, Tower of the Hand. January 15, 2015. https://towerofthehand.com/blog/2015/02/01-laboratory-of-politics-part-vi/noscript.html

Bullough, Vern L. 2002. “Eunuchs in History and Society”, in Eunuchs in antiquity and beyond, edited by Tougher, Shaun, 1-17. Swansea: The Classical Press of Wales.

Carroll, Shiloh. 2018. Medievalism in A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones. Cambridge: D.S. Brewer.

Harrison, Mia. 2018. “Power and Punishment in Game of Thrones.” In The Image of Disability: Essays on Media Representation, edited by JL Schatz & Amber E. George, 28-43. McFarland & Company: Jefferson.

hooks, bell. 1996/2009. Reel to Real: Race, Class, and Sex at the Movies. New York: Routledge.

Llewellyn-Jones, Lloyd. 2002. “Eunuchs and the royal harem in Achaemenid Persia (559-331 BC)”, in Eunuchs in antiquity and beyond, edited by Tougher, Shaun, 19-50. Swansea: The Classical Press of Wales.

Martin, George RR. 2011a. A Storm of Swords 2: Blood and Gold. Harper Voyager: London.

Martin, George RR. 2011b. A Feast for Crows. Bentam Books: New York.

Martin, George RR. 2012. A Dance with Dragons. Harper Voyager: London.

[sanoiro]

5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy - Spoilers & Speculation

  Warning! There is always a possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.

I’ll be clear about all this. Do not copy and paste the speculations, If you have found the original accounts from where the bts come from use yours do not get any of the photos from here. This post was NOT written to aid fandom spongers but in order to have fun with some dear friends and as a courtesy to the fans who come across my posts. I’m not a news blog nor a source and I’ll not be treated as such.

Written By: Jason Ning Directed By: Eagle Eglisson

Jason Ning has written/co-written the episodes:

1x03 - The Would-Be Prince of Darkness

1x06 - Favorite Son

2x05 - Weaponizer

2x16 - God Johnson

3x04 - What Would Lucifer Do?

3x11 - City of Angels?

3x14 - My Brother's Keeper

3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino

4x03 - O, Ye of Little Faith, Father

4x08 - Super Bad Boyfriend

5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy

Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.

Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:

Erik Aude...Rod

Kelsey Chock...Kirby Jones

Patrick Duke Conboy...Club Guy

Joël Dupont...Lux patron

Mark Elias...Vincent Gill

Chasten Harmon...Megan Garner

Brian Majestic...Neighbor

Sierra Nowak...Emily

Jose Stephan Perez...Club Guy

Behind The Scenes Videos:

5x01 Locations:

1) LUX - Party

2) Precinct

3) The Yacht - Party - Maze (stunt) - Ella - (Ella & Maze) - Mr DOB? Money Lucifer?

4) The House - Night with Lucifer & Maze - Morning with Chloe Detective - Baby Shower - Girl

5) The DTLA Penthouse - Morning Lucifer - Night Chloe Sting  (Green Screen)

Due to the confusing titles we have ended up between friends to retitle them and this one is ‘The Gambler’ episode. The reason behind the name is because the case is taking place mainly in a high profile gambling establishment but also sets forward a very interesting concept for S5. 

Everything is a gamble and you need to be aware of what you are about to throw on the table. In my belief, the cards at our leads hands are misleading and sometimes some of them do not know what the power of the cards they hold. Pity that it’s not a card game though but a through of the dice with many unknown sides to the players. No God does not play dices with the universe as Neil Gaiman explains in Good Omens but how much of what is going on can be blamed on him? Not much in my humble opinion.

As you already know after all these years BTS is not easy on the contrary they are confusing and frustrating to no end… So stay cautious and try to have fun rather than search for definite answers. These answers may come only when the season P1 drops and if I managed to spot something correctly we were fortunate.

The first episode as Ellis said will clarify why Lucifer returned to Earth but unfortunately, we can only speculate as the bts do not give us a definite answer but we know one thing, do not expect Lucifer and Chloe to meet too soon in 5x01. For the most part, it seems like Lucifer tries to avoid her and for a very good reason. As Henderson said you cannot expect to lock an alcoholic to a liquor store for 20 years and do not have a regression.

The beginning of the episode will most probably take us to… Hell. The reason for that speculation is Ellis’ birthday cake. Yes, Ellis is an executive producer and usually, by now 5x01 should have wrapped as an episode its post-production so we assume that that scene takes place in the first 5-10 minutes of the first episode of S1.

If the scene of that cake is not one of the S5 first scenes then probably is a cut scene from Chloe wondering how Lucifer is doing and the answer is well… he is delusional. According to Boris’s speculation we might get a similar scene like the beginning of S4 but this time it’s Chloe who works and the files pile up as well as the boxes around her office... Some bts suggest that might be actually happening but we simply cannot be sure. 

We might also spot Gaudium on that cake but I would assume he appears like that because the delusion has not yet dropped so his real form might be a wonderful CGI. Henderson always wanted him somehow in the show so that would be the perfect time to do so…

So what has caused Lucifer wanting to get to earth? Again we do not know but it might be somehow related to the case Chloe will be working on. Of course, that relationship might not be obvious but more like the case of 5x04 where Lucifer’s connection to the case Chloe was trying to solve was purely accidental due to Eve.

Now the writers did tease that Lucifer will see a familiar face in Hell and many have speculated over that. When I heard it for the first time I thought it was Dan and I still hold that opinion mainly because Dan’s arc is more or less similar to the one of Charlotte. If a character is going to die in S5 I do expect it to be Dan even if it is for a little while, something that will lead to bigger problems later on and perhaps it will be the reason on why he needs the matching bracelet he wears with Lucifer and which appears in 5x03.

If that face is not Dan then who else could it be? Father Frank? In Hell, you may ask? Well, he felt immense guilt over accidentally killing his family and the boy’s family at that car crash so that’s where I place my next bet. In any case that familiar face is probably who shakes up things and causes Lucifer to seek something on Earth. 

My calculations on how long Lucifer is in Hell give out a 6 month period which has been confirmed and my speculation was based on that due to the babies that play Charlie :D. So what has changed 6 months later on Earth?

As we know from Lauren German fools everyone into believing she is doing well and she is supported by Maze and why not Ella. In 5x01 there is a bts which shows Chloe at a LUX party with Maze but Maze is dressed in leather and Chloe in work clothes. In the time of Lucifer’s absence, it was hinted by DB that Amenadiel has taken over LUX but fear not as LUX is the same place it always was and Amenadiel tries to imitate Lucifer’s dressing code and kind of entertainment in the establishment. At the same time if you notice the fridge at Linda’s apartment it has some photos with Amenadiel, Linda and Charlie so the domestic life is going well on that front as well for him.

^If it’s Amenadiel it fits with the rehearsal if not then Lucifer and Chloe reunite earlier but I believe it’s Amenadiel. 

Moving on as you know each episode has a case! Episode 5x01 features many different locations but I’ll start from Maze’s clothes at LUX. We do not know if the LUX scene is early in the episode and I would assume it is not. Maze’s clothes at LUX are seen in two locations LUX and at a boat where she is accompanied by Ella yet that’s not the murder scene.

^That’s the main pattern I saw at LUX day of the extras wearing. 

^Josh’s photo is upside down ;) 

^Just a speculation but does LInda visit LUX? No idea. 

After LUX day which lasted for over 13 hours I believe it lasted in total for about 15-16h... So it’s  big scene. 

^Chloe shot and Lesley Ann waiting to enter the scene

Ella’s shirt is also one of the reasons why I believe that’s at the beginning of the episode as later on, she wears a yellow and then a blue shirt during the episode. 

The murder scene takes place at a downtown Penthouse - not Lucifer’s - which acts as an illegal gambling establishment for rich players. If you have watched the movie Molly’s Game you will get what I mean. So let’s assume that murder happens there, the LAPD investigates the scene but afterwards, when Chloe is at the precinct she turns to Maze for some reason or Maze drags her to LUX. 

Note that Lucifer looks angry perhaps even dejected according to the available bts

^No Green screen so do not expect something supernatural to happen just Lucifer infuriated giving a verbal point of how pointless everything is I presume. 

Now call me a weird but there is a possibility of Ella being at the playing table BEFORE the murder case... or perhaps who could be the last person to see in Hell? Ella even for a fraction of a second? No idea again just a wild speculation...But I do not think that’s it... not entirely at least.. Aimee was well dressed at the following photo there... In my other speculation, Lucifer tries to get people to help him without involving Chloe at all.. Yet note that the dates they were posted on social media were different so we cannot be sure

Now if Ella does help with the case is it too farfetched to hope that she will spill the beans about Candy to Chloe in 5x01? Dad I HOPE SO!. 

Afterwards, we see that Maze and Ella track down a rich guy on a boat. Maze is wearing the same clothes she did at LUX and I would speculate that the yacht belongs to Lee (The yacht is called the Lightbringer and is a known in L.A. yacht to rent for events etc.) with all the money he got OTHERWISE it was Lee who got killed and is the familiar face in hell and a close relative (his son?) took his fortune. You see a young black guy was hired as a guest so it is possible to assume that. There was a script page as well a blurry one but we do not know if the name was Les or Lee.. Here is the thing though... There was also a guy who looked like Jeremiah aka Lee in DTLA but I do not know if it was during the murder -if it happens there which if it does then fitting! or if he was there for his usual encounter with Lucifer...- 

Now about that yacht...

Now at that yacht we have Maze kicking some not so pretty behinds and we do not know how it goes from there unfortunately but I would assume that Lucifer and Maze are reunited early on that episode perhaps around the first quarter or so.

While everything happens Lucifer visits the DTLA Penthouse - Gambling establishment and he seems pissed possibly because his money was the reason Lee was murdered if we support that theory?

From there we also have a location that was shot at the WB ranch, the place where FRIENDS shot their intro scene at the fountain and which was sold by WB yet they can still use it for the time being.

At that ranch, there is a small town set which has some middle-class houses. In one of those houses, there was a baby shower for a baby girl I suppose and is where Lucifer seeks more answers. I do not know if someone bleeds or something but they had to wash the street afterwards. The scene happens at night and Lucifer again is NOT pleased. Along with Lucifer I believe that there was also Maze and I do not know if Maze was also there in the morning shots that follow with Chloe but she had her stunt with her and her presence at the stages suggest that she may have been at the precinct as well with those clothes but that’s a speculation. 

Lucifer’s car at the lot in the main WB lot not the ranch. 

Now do be careful as Chloe's visit in the morning might be before Lucifer’s one at night we just do not know exactly at the moment. 

^You can see Lucifer in the middle of the shot. 

^I believe that’s in that house at night. 

^Maze Lucifer and the Guy?

According to the guest's clothes I suspect that Chloe gets there in the morning and then Lucifer at night as he wears the exact same ones...

At this point my belief is that perhaps Maze helps Chloe, then Lucifer gets involved without Chloe realising he is there or perhaps that’s the point she sees him and Maze along with Lucifer get into a fight. The suspect might have run or perhaps Lucifer and Maze protected Chloe unfortunately we cannot know what exactly is going on. 

A third speculation at the same timeframe is that Maze is reunited with Lucifer at the penthouse and they start working together from that point. The follow Chloe perhaps even save her from the suspect as he runs and then both return at night to confront him. 

Now there is also a morning shooting scene there or perhaps even two as we do know that Chloe as a Detective goes to ask the guy some questions while Lucifer has some action scenes at that point.

Ellis’ and Lesley-Ann’s stunts were there and took care of the scene which needed to be delivered yet, in my opinion, there was no meet up there. I do not know if Chloe managed to take a glimpse of Lucifer or not but I assume that at that point she knows Lucifer is back but he still avoids her to spare her the pain as he probably believes he will have to go back to Hell once his quest finishes.

Fast forward we go to the last part of the episode which takes place at the DTLA Penthouse at night where Chloe appears to be on a sting operation, pretending to be a player and I would also assume that Ella is at the van guiding her through that. At the same time though we have Lucifer and Maze trying to do their own thing and Dan somewhere in the middle.

We know that it’s the final scene as there are police cars at the scene and my speculation is this.

Chloe is at the sting operation, Ella helps and Dan is also involved close by at a car. Lucifer and Maze try to gain entrance and we have a Green screen used and some wires as they were shooting two different scenes and one of them had Ellis suspended I believe from the wires. No idea if he was trying that the human way or Lucifer had enough and flew up there yet at some point the suspect break free and goes to the street.

The last part of the episode is divided in two parts. The sting operation and the second painful part

^ The building on the right with the helicopter landing space is the where the penthouse is located and the middle of the street in front of Hope park is where the conclusion of the episode was shot with some other additional scenes. 

Two scenes were shot for the first time. One of them was Lucifer? lying, being levitated, using human means to climb to the penthouse? Who knows but there was a green screen behind him. Perhaps he was in the penthouse and was pushed or trying to avoid Chloe he opted to fall off? No idea. 

Now at the same location, we have Ella with a messy ban like she was really into the game she might have been instructed to Chloe to play at the penthouse.

Maze’s outfit makes me wonder if Maze decided to also go undercover to help Lucifer or even Chloe we will know once it drops I’m afraid. Yet it looks like she is along with the girls at the end of the episode. 

Also see javiergame4 ‘s BTS ON REDDIT AND POSTED ON IGMUR BTS

At the end, I think that the guy who Lesley-Ann was hugging was the culprit and the one who starts a chain of events. 

I do believe that Dan who might be in the car waiting for the sting to end up trapped with the culprit in the car and to be eventually be throwed outside the window. 

Of course, that is one interpretation as there is also the following bts Lucifer in front of the car and then the car seems to have turned so either Lucifer is the cause for the guy’s, perhaps Dan’s injury or the reason why he is paradoxically saved. Perhaps both. You can see teh green screen be used which may suggest a car chase or something which Lucifer puts into a halt. The second car I believe is Chloe’s. 

^The guy ends up on the street

But someone in white seems to protect someone so we do not know what is going on. If Lucifer protects Chloe, if some power comes forward and saves Dan. 

^The person in white next to the ambulance

My opinion? Chloe indeed needs help and Lucifer comes forward in a scene that reminds me a bit of Lois and Superman in Superman Returns meaning that it might be him saving her that exposes his return from Hell to her. 

Chloe, Ella - see the bun behind Chloe, and Maze in front of a dead body bag coroner bed. 

Also Chloe appears to be in front of the guy who gets injured... Again we assume this is the end of the episode... But someone eventually DOES die as we know from the body bag and again I would assume that it is Dan. Do not ask me why I insist on that so much but I have this gut feeling he will have a short experience with Hell which will allow him to seek a second chance like Charlotte for when Death reclaims him once more. 

Now if Dan does die for a while and Lucifer has a hand in his revival it would also explain why in 5x03 or even at the end of 5x02 we have Dan and Lucifer wearing the same amethyst bracelet... Also why Lucifer cannot really leave again for the time being... 

Additional info

We do know there is a woman guest with lines on the boat and the DTLA penthouse so I would keep an eye on her for the case.

Aimee Garcia was showing off Ella’s pens for the season and I have to admit that the screwdriver caught my interest for an obvious reason…

So has Amenadiel visited Lucifer at Hell? According to D.B.’s interview where he said that the character is currently busy so he has not, consider that Lucifer changing to a full Devil body in front of him may have not been the best memory he has of his baby brother. So in a way, Amenadiel might be deep down calm that the pieces have fallen into their place. He is of course sorely mistaken…