#continuation of the miles peace sign thing except i genuinely think that one was better anyways LMFAO

[methbongs]

animation test thingie

[synnefo-nefeli]

Working on a WIP scene for Heard Your Heart Beating, my Klapollo friends to lovers post AA5, slow-burn fic

___

//Come fix your prosecutor// read Athena’s text. Apollo groaned wondering what Klavier could have done in the hour Klavier had spent at the WAA.

He adjusted his tie in the mirror of his locker, checked to make sure that he no longer looked sweaty from his ride over from court, and shoved his cycling outfit into his locker along with his helmet.

He could hear laughing on the other side of the office’s front door so that was a good sign, he hoped, as he swiped his keycard through the lock.

“Herr Forehead has finally arrived from his battle with the courts!” Klavier beamed at him with the smile that Apollo was now coming to call “on-stage-mode”. Klavier was sitting on the sofa next to Athena, coffee cups and tea biscuits between them on the table.

He could hear Mr. Wright bustling in the office kitchenette.

“I am back,” Apollo announced, “...and I survived Blackquill-“

“Oh, is that the reason you biked back? Simon didn’t offer to give you a lift?” Athena laughed, “how mean. He needs to learn to leave it in the courtroom.”

Apollo rolled his eyes, “Probably, but I am sure it has more to do with him needing to go down to the precinct and yell at the poor detective who sent him into court with an outdated autopsy report...also, what would I have done with my bike? I don’t want to ruin the guy’s new car by stashing it in the back seat.”

Mr. Wright arrived from the kitchen, fresh pot of coffee in hand, “Wow. A defense attorney having an updated report instead of the prosecution? Never thought I’d see the day...”

Apollo flopped on the couch opposite Athena and Klavier, “Hey. Miracles do happen...and considering all of our court win-streak, we shouldn’t be too surprised that they exist.”

“Here. Here.” Klavier said amiably into his coffee looking as if he was about to attempt to change the subject. Oh, Klavier wasn’t getting away from whatever occurred before Apollo arrived so easily,

“So... what’s this about me needing to fix ‘my prosecutor’?”

Klavier made an amused expression, “Ah, is that what I am called? Well I am honored to be Herr Justice’s”

Athena rolled her eyes, “Oh stop with the charm-“ she looked at Apollo, “he doesn’t want you to know that he’s never been to the Tragic Kingdom”

Apollo stared at Klavier, “Seriously?” which earned Klavier a playful elbow to the ribs from Athena, “Told you he would react like that”

Klavier sighed, “Is it really that big of a deal? Not going to a children’s amuse-“

“HOLD IT!” Apollo didn’t care that everyone about him flinched (“Indoor voice, Polly, jeeze”, Mr. Wright muttered”), “Disneyland is for everyone,” Apollo breathed, “you seriously haven’t gone? Ever? I mean...it’s only in Anaheim. That’s less than an hour without traffic from here-“

Mr. Wright handed Apollo a cup of coffee, “It’s been a while since ‘Mr. Disney Adult’’s shown his face at the office.”

“You say that as if you don’t have an annual pass too, Mr. Wright.”

Klavier appeared lost in the conversation; it was refreshing to see Mr. Tall, Blonde and Unflappable looking out of his depth, “Is it really a big deal that I haven’t?”

“Mm...not so much,” Mr. Wright said before Apollo could object, “well it wouldn’t be a big deal if you were hanging out with someone else, but I mean considering that you two have been spending a lot of time outside of court together, I think it’s more shocking that Apollo *hasn’t* dragged you down there already.

“You act like I go there all the time-“

“Says the person who has scheduled himself to come in late on days where there are morning annual passholder events,” Athena mused, “or how about the time you, Clay and Trucy, just decided to go to Disneyland after work because you wanted corndogs for dinner”

Across from him Klavier made a face, as if silently saying “Corndogs for dinner? Really? What are you, five?”.

Apollo met ‘his prosecutor’s’ eyes, “Those corndogs are legendary, and the only ones I’ll eat,” he rebutted, not caring that Klavier hadn’t actually said anything.

“He has a point there,” agreed Mr. Wright, “so I guess the big question is- how long before Klavier gets pulled into driving Apollo down to Anaheim?”

Klavier looked around the room at all of the other attorneys as if expecting for someone to tell him suddenly that this was all an act. Apollo meanwhile was mentally running through his calendar to figure out when he would have time to properly take Klavier to the park. There was so much to do at work-not to mention, he would have to prep Klavier for his first park visit.

“Do you like amusement parks?” Apollo asked Klavier.

The blonde man simply shrugged, “I’ve only been to a few in my life. Mein family wasn’t really into things like theme parks; didn’t see the value in them as entertainment. And when I moved here, I just didn’t go-“

“Not even grad-night?” Athena asked, “Junie told me that’s what the student council is setting up for the seniors. It’s tradition. Heck, every high school in Southern California does a school trip there at least once.”

Klavier shrugged, “I graduated early, remember? I guess I could have gone to the ceremony with the class that was graduating that year, but I wanted to get mein badge so I went home as soon as I could to pass the bar in Germany.”

“There’s one in France!”

Klavier sighed, “If I asked to do anything outside of museums and cultural experiences while we were in France, I would have been left in Germany.”

“Anyway,” Athena said, “If you’re going to hang with Polly, you’re going to have to go to the parks eventually-“

Apollo felt his cheeks heat, “I mean if that’s not what you like to do for fun, you don’t have to-“

“Oh please,” Mr. Wright interrupted, “I can confidently bet that you’ve been sitting here this entire time planning a trip for him.”

Apollo crossed his arms and sat back in defeat as Athena continued to regale Klavier with anecdotes of the WAA’s trips to the parks as well as Apollo’s impromptu visits,

“Has he shown you his pin collection yet?” Athena said in a tone that was too close to the tone she liked to use whenever she teased Apollo about his and Klavier relationship not being as platonic as Apollo made them seem.

//As if she doesn’t know the actual truth// Apollo grumbled, “Okay enough. Klavier already knows I am a nerd- he doesn’t need any more evidence about it”

“Ach you’re always cool, Herr Forehead,” Klavier smiled again in “on-stage mode”, which made Apollo decide that he needed to show Klavier what he was missing.

“When’s your birthday?” Apollo blurted.

Athena groaned, “Oh my god, Apollo, haven’t you heard of Wikipedia?”

“I like that Herr Forehead doesn’t feel the need to research me, it makes a rock god like me feel practically human,” Klavier teased and then with an amiable grin, “May 23rd.

However-I told you that on Valentine’s Day, don’t you remember?” He said a little too suggestively for Apollo’s comfort,

“I’m hurt that you don’t remember… and here I thought things that were shared during sleepovers were sacred,” he added a pout for good measure.

Out of the corner of his eye, Apollo saw Athena not-so-subtly pull out of her phone to text something, most certainly to Trucy.

Great, he was not going to know peace from either of them for the foreseeable future.

Although, Apollo appreciated that Athena had the grace to attempt to hide her grin.

Whether or not Klavier was aware of what was happening next to him, Klavier only sipped at his coffee.

“So in three weeks. Great, guess what we’re doing to celebrate your 26th birthday,” Apollo announced.

“It’s on a workday.”

“Take off.”

“Don’t you have to work?” Klavier asked

Apollo turned to Mr. Wright, “Mr. Wright, may I have the 23rd off?”

“Of course. Just put it on the calendar.”

Apollo, having won the debate, smiled smugly at Klavier, “Get ready, we have a lot to do before then.”

Klavier looked genuinely confused, “Like what?!”

He was about to ask what Klavier’s favorite Disney movie was, but then Athena’s phone buzzed, “Simon’s here- he needs help bringing up the food...and Trucy says she wants to also go to Disneyland for Klavier’s birthday, I think that’s a good idea; what do you think, boss?,”

Before Apollo could say anything about Athena or Trucy inviting themselves, Mr. Wright smiled and said,

“You know what- unless something pressing comes up and Trucy doesn’t have any projects or tests at school, I think the agency needs a mental health day. Maybe Miles and Prosecutor Blackquill need one too,” he remarked walking towards his office in order to most likely call his fiancé.

Finally alone- sort of. At least until Athena and Prosecutor Blackquill came upstairs with the food. But still, alone enough to enjoy Klavier silently trying to figure out what the hell just happened...or Apollo would have enjoyed Klavier’s genuinely flummoxed expression, except that he remembered how Klavier, despite his celebrity status, didn’t like to draw attention too himself unless it was in court or on stage- and especially not in public.

It was the reason Klavier hadn’t shown up to Clay’s funeral after all. He looked at Klavier feeling guilty for putting his friend on the spot,

“Sorry, if you don’t want to- we don’t have to-“

“Nein, nein,” Klavier said with his genuine smile, “you all are so passionate about it, now I have to experience it”

“Are you sure? I didn’t even ask if that’s how you wanted to spend your birthday-I just kinda got caught up in it.”

Klavier shrugged, “Honestly, considering that I usually spent the last few dragged to stuffy VIP lounges of clubs I wasn’t interested in, with people who, as it turned out, cared less about me- I think this may be a gut change of pace.”

Well that made him feel better...and a bit sad for Klavier, “I’ll make sure you have a good time and we won’t be overwhelmed. A lot of celebrities go to Disneyland, and they don’t get mobbed- people are pretty respectful of celebrities having their time in the parks.”

“You sound as if you are familiar.”

“Clay...worked there for a summer, celebrities would come all the time as park guests. And aside from maybe helping a celebrity escape a crowd, they don’t give anyone special treatment unless they’ve paid for a guided tour-“

“Oh- are we not doing that, Herr Forehead?”

Apollo snorted,“Hell no, you’re going to stand in line for Space Mountain like the rest of us plebes.” Also I’m not about to suggest we spend $800 an hour for a theme park tour...

Klavier’s laugh was enough to make Apollo feel better and better about commandeering Klavier’s birthday. He was going to look forward to these next few weeks in getting Klavier ready for his first time at the park. The thought of movie nights made Apollo feel a bit warm inside. Warm in a way that he hadn’t felt since Klavier had comforted him during his own birthday.

The office door opened, Athena holding it open so that Simon could come through with the large box that contained their takeout dinners. Apollo braced himself for any barbed words from Athena’s prosecutor; considering how the day’s court proceedings had gone, Apollo expected some amount of sour grapes. Instead Simon ignore Apollo and incredulously regarded his co-worker with,

“You’ve seriously never been to Disneyland, Gavin-dono?”

***

[bigskydreaming]

remember when devin grayson wrote about green arrow flirting with teenager dick grayson and then bruce and dick have an incestuous relationship............................

Listen, I have no idea what this ask says, I just see a string of random letters followed by dot dot dot. 

In completely unrelated matters, the only dynamic between Dick and Ollie I abide by is one where the nicest thing Dick’s ever said to Ollie is something like “hey why does your face look like you killed a squirrel and glued it to your chin, is that what you were going for or do people just not like you and so nobody ever told you til now that that’s what it looks like.”

And even there, that’s still just the best Dick could manage (or was willing to even aim for) after Bruce gave Dick a totally and one hundred percent genuine and sincere Talking To about how he needed to be more polite to Ollie. Cuz the way I envision it, all that’s after Dick initially opened with something like, idk, “hey wanna hear a funny joke, it goes “what do you call a known Errol Flynn fanboy who thinks putting on a domino mask when he fights crime with a bow and arrow like, magically makes his goatee invisible? A dumbass who doesn’t get how secret identities work, that’s what. Get it, its you, you’re the joke.”

LOL for the record, I don’t actually hate Ollie and have no really strong opinions on him one way or another, it usually just depends on how he’s being written in whatever story or issue I’m reading with him. Its just canon that Ollie is like, one of the few people that Dick just openly can not stand, pretty much, with this stretching back far enough that personally, I like to headcanon it goes all the way back to even before Ollie took Roy in and has absolutely nothing to do with Roy whatsoever.

Idk, its just really fucking funny to me to picture that like, for whatever reason, ten year old Dick Grayson decided upon meeting the Justice League that they were all awesome except for Oliver Queen. Dick doesn’t know why, he doesn’t care why, he just knows that like, “I do not care for that Oliver Queen guy, not one bit, and no, I am not open to constructive criticism on this matter, UGH BRUCE STOP TELLING ME I SHOULD AT LEAST TRY AND BE NICER TO HIM, I SAID HE WAS A BUTTFACE AND I MEANT IT, WHERE’S THE CONFUSION.”

Because see, while Ollie is not Actually The Worst, he IS one of the League heroes who is prideful and petty enough to like, absolutely take offense to someone hating his guts for no discernible reason, while considering this more than reason enough to hate their guts right back. Even if that particular someone happens to have both miles and years left to go before they hit either puberty or the top side of five feet tall, and thus in the meanwhile, Ollie must literally lower himself in every sense of the word in order to return fire at his pint-sized and prepubescent critic.

Like, if Dick for whatever reason decided he just doesn’t like Superman or the Flash and he’s not gonna and you can’t make him, then I mean, Clark or Barry or someone else along those lines would just be like, oh, okay, that’s fair I guess. No, its totally fine Bruce, the adorable little human incarnation of glitter, cotton candy and all things Cute and Precious and Wee that you just took in is allowed to hate me if he wants to, its absolutely *wheezing sob* not a big deal. I’m a big boy, I don’t need you to intercede on my behalf with him. Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be wallowing in my room for the next 84 years, trying to figure out if I was some kind of monstrous puppy-kicker in a previous lifetime and that’s why my fate here in this one is to be despised by a ten year old with the superpower of Absolute Preciousness. Its my punishment, clearly, for being just the worst kind of monster to ever exist, the only kind that could actually be hated by someone like your adorable little Fun-Sized sidekick of joy and sunshine and l-l-laughter......no, don’t look at me, I’m hideous! *bursts into tears and scurries away to hide from the light*

But see now, Ollie, on the other hand, like.....he’s not a monster but he’s not about to let even some paragon of preciousness go around painting him as one. Why the fuck does he spend so much money on publicists if he’s just gonna roll over belly-side up the first time one of the people bad-mouthing him just happens to be like, a toddler instead of the usual TMZ?

So Ollie’s not about to admit that he’s actually miffed and even a little bit wounded that this cherub who seems to like even most supervillains more than he likes Ollie, just like, can not seem to be in his presence longer than sixty seconds before drawing his weapons and stabbing Ollie with words that hurt, dammit, because he has feelings too, y’know, he spent a lot of money on pricey therapists figuring out that yes, those are feelings he’s feeling and he can even name some of them.....

Like, he’s not quite on board with actually ACKNOWLEDGING that hey this stings, and that he really just wants to know what the hell this kid’s deal is and why don’t you like me, tiny human, what did I ever even do to you??? But all of that is like......Advanced Level Therapy stuff that he hasn’t quite gotten around to finishing yet at this point in time. Like yeah he’s already dropped a mint on the A-list of the head-shrinking world by now, but apparently he was supposed to keep coming back or something like that, they all keep making a really big deal about that for some reason, and look, he’s been busy. So he really just hasn’t had the time to finish up the course on How To Make Peace With the Fact That Sometimes Tiny Humans Don’t Like Me Even Though I’m A Fucking Delight, Dammit.

But even if the why of this kid getting under his skin so much eludes him for the nonce, Ollie is perfectly clear on one thing: he doesn’t typically go around making enemies of the twelve and under set, but if you prick him, he doth in fact bleed, you little prick. So if this knee-high nightmare is gonna keep coming at me and trying to start shit, then I am more than willing to throw down, is basically Ollie’s take here. 

“He wants to dance? Then c’mon, let’s do this thing. We can dance if he wants to. I’ve got the time,” Ollie says to himself and any other nearby Justice Leaguer who might be looking at him with that swiftly-becoming-familiar expression of mingled judgment, pity, exasperation and something a bit more ambiguous but which probably lands somewhere in the ballpark of “We honestly don’t know what to make of all of this but we’re all a little concerned This Is Not A Good Look, Bro. And also, we would like to formally request by way of this petition with all 200+ signatures of Leaguers and auxiliary members and support staff: please don’t escalate this into something where Batman might actually kill you, because that’s definitely not gonna make any of this less awkward for the rest of us, and uh....not to be indelicate here, but all those times we’ve all said things like no Ollie, we don’t think Bruce is a better fighter than you and we absolutely agree with you, you could totally maybe take him in a fair fight if you had your bow and arrows on you and he had the flu probably.....like. Umm. How to put this....Okay, soooooo....here’s the thing. There may, perhaps, ever so slightly be a possibility slash definite hardcore certainty that there were fib-like qualities to those conversations. A little bit. Oh hey, look at the time, we gotta run, there’s a fire somewhere, hopefully. Lol wait whoops did we say hopefully, that’s so weird like where did that even come from. We definitely meant to say probably. There’s a fire somewhere, probably."

But look, at the end of the day, the thing is, Headcanon Ollie is not like, proud of any of this, but he’s not unproud of it either. He is hashtag justified and he wouold appreciate some validation of that Ugly Truth, even if it might go against the grain and not ever exactly be a POPULAR opinion with the “please don’t tell the ten year old that nuh uh, his face looks like a hairy butthole, nobody wins there, that is not the victory you are looking for” crowd.

Honestly though, at this point Ollie’s list of Big Asks is quite small. Miniscule, even. All he wants, all he really really wants, is for someone, anyone, to join him in grasping the one essential corn kernel at the heart of this whole clusterfuck. The thing that nobody but Ollie seems to get and that Ollie’s pretty sure would be enough to allow him to die happily, if he could just manage to find one other person to sign on to the one single extremely obvious observation he keeps trying to point out to everyone, with a whole lot of nada to show for it:

Because see, the one thing about all of this that drives Ollie just absolutely up a wall, is that for some reason he can’t seem to get anyone to understand that like.....this whoooooole ridiculous mess, just like, even in terms of its very existence in the first place?

None of it is Ollie’s fault.

Dick started it!

Mere moments after frustratedly trying to convey this to Dinah for the umpteenth million bajillionth time:

“Okay, could you at least say something?” Ollie asked exasperatedly. “Anything? Seriously, I would take you counting to ten in Cantonese as an acceptable response at this point.”

“I’m just trying to decide which concerns me more,” Dinah said at last. Several epochs and the equivalent of the entire Jurassic Period later. But whatever, its not like Ollie was holding his breath at this point or anything. “The fact that you are genuinely trying to find and occupy the moral high ground in your feud with....a ten year old. Or that you actually think you’ve found it. That this is it, this is what that looks like. ‘The ten year old started it.’”

That was apparently all Dinah had to say. She fell silent again, and said silence lingered through a recreation of now the entire Cretaceous Period, before continuing into a revival of the whole Paleozoic Era from start to torturous finish.

“Well?” Ollie said with a patience that belied the urgency of the many pressing matters he had to attend to. Like the vanquishing of a ten year old archnemesis most foul.

Dinah just continued to frown pensively.

“Hang on, I’m still deciding.”

[piermanwalter]

Thief’s Apprentice: Popular Fiction in Surenia

As many revenants no longer have the mental faculty to keep track of stories and reality at the same time, these stories are mostly for the living to rationalise their plague-ridden surroundings. Common themes of the oldest and most well-known stories are escaping the plague and love that lasts after death. These stories usually follow someone as they travel across Surenia, and serve as escapist fantasy for bedridden plaguebearers as they look forward to all the travelling they can do as revenants and wait to die.

CURE QUEST

Hearing of the revenant plague spreading to their kingdom, instead of hoarding food and barricading themselves in fortresses like neighboring kingdoms, Prince Orto and his mother Queen Mavia set out to investigate the cause of the plague and find a cure with their court mage Ovid. The story is allegedly the writings of Ovid himself as he recorded their adventures, but Cure Quest is so fantastic and implausible that most people now believe it’s complete fiction. 

The basic story structure of Cure Quest is Ovid receiving cryptic messages from the Gods to guide the Prince and the Queen, then they encounter a weird guy in the wilderness that Prince Orto fights and/or befriends, then they rescue a town from some disaster and are allowed to rest there in thanks, and then Ovid finds some town specialty herb or potion that alleviates the plague a bit, but doesn’t totally cure it, so they have to keep going, and then they get captured by another kingdom or mage or giant gryphon that is too strong for them to beat, then Queen Mavia sings their captors to sleep or distracts them while Ovid comes up with an escape plan. By doing this many times, they eventually build up a huge procession.

There are many versions of Cure Quest, but they all feature Prince Orto making friends with wandering knights with extremely specific superpowers, such as a knight who can eat mountains of food, a knight who can steal anything that can fit in the palm of his hand, a knight who draws blood every time his sword is unsheathed, a knight who can turn into a flock of sparrows, etc. Most versions of Cure Quest are also known for huge epic battles between the royal knights and hordes of insane revenants, knights of rival kingdoms, monsters, and evil mages. 

However, there are also Cure Quest versions that address how a plague-ridden land can’t realistically support full-scale wars all the time, so the problems are instead solved with cunning tricks, political leverage, and magic.

In all versions of Cure Quest, the royal procession follows Ovid to The Fountain of Life, which can cure any disease or injury, but the Gods have led them to the end of The World. It turns out The Fountain of Life is on a separate land mass floating off the edge of The World, and while everyone is deciding how to get there, Prince Orto becomes impatient and jumps off the edge, but he misses and falls through space for all eternity. The rest of the procession builds a bridge to The Fountain, but as soon as they all cross, The World flies away. 

It’s widely believed that Cure Quest originated from Beringians in Surenia, since knights and dedicated soldier classes in general don’t exist in local cultures, and the effects of plague described in the story are hilariously wrong. Some people believe Cure Quest must have been first spun in the early years of the plague when people didn’t know exactly how it worked and genuinely had no idea revenants could be sane and articulate. Since different locations in Surenia are mentioned in many versions of Cure Quest, there is much literary debate over which city produced the earliest version of Cure Quest.

This story is the most popular among the living and not very well liked among revenants because all of the named characters are alive and all revenants are mindless shambling wrecks. However, the continued popularity of Cure Quest comes from there being a version anyone can enjoy. Children are told the version where Prince Orto is their age and Mavia is a beautiful young queen, and everyone aside from Orto, who was too impatient, got to live on an amazing new World. Once they outgrow that story, they can find another version where Prince Orto is a callous Machiavellian adult and Queen Mavia is wise and elderly, and they finally accept the plague has no cure, so they kill themselves to become the revenants they once so reviled. And if there’s no version to you liking, you can always make your own.

Most Surenians see leaving The World as a metaphor for death, and Prince Orto missing The Fountain as a metaphor for those who die before their time and go mad.

Muireland has coopted Cure Quest as an embellished retelling of their own kingdom’s founding and claims jumping off the edge of The World is a metaphor for establishing a new homeland on the edge of sea cliffs, and their own royal family is descended from Queen Mavia.

Despite getting blown up and occupied by Gehennans, many Veilheimers are still struck by, “Wow! Real Prince! Real knights! This is just like Cure Quest!”

WANDERING GONOT

He wakes his shirt covered in dirt and thinks, “How rude to pitch dirt upon a sleeping man! Dare they do this to I, the... I... know not mine own name.” A wooden signpost reads GO NOT. PLAGUE LAINS HERE. “Lo! My name. Gonot... Plague... Lainshere. I do not like the middle part! Bolfred Miller be called Bolfred Cheating Miller, but his name be not Cheating though he be cheating. A fool’s title on us both. My name is Gonot Lainshere.”

Gonot stands and leaves and sees a milkmaid. “Holla maid! There be dirt on my shirt, but not on my heart. Knows you the-” The maid cries like a hawk and runs. Dirt on a shirt be so vile? Gonot bends to clean and Horror! Skin is flaying off his legs! Nails torn from his fingers, but not a drop of blood! Bowels spilling from his belly! Gonot is dead! He is walking and speaking but he is dead!

Gonot is chased out of town with torches and pitchforks and wanders aimlessly around Surenia, getting into shenanigans and witnessing all sorts of interesting things. Wandering Gonot is a very relatable story about one of the first sane revenants figuring out basic things that every modern revenant knows, like seeing through solid objects, eating, or kitbashing your own metal prosthetics. 

Unlike Cure Quest, there is only one version of Wandering Gonot written over 600 years ago. Some attempts were made by other writers to add to the story, but the syntax and style of the original writer are so distinct that imitations are easy to detect. Wandering Gonot is historically important because it’s set when Surenians were most afraid of the plague, now that symptoms and epidemiology were better understood, but revenants were not. Earlier stories in Cure Quest had knights charging fearlessly into combat with supernaturally strong revenants that caused crushing bruises with the slightest touch, but by the time this story was written, it was known that massive inexplicable bruises were the first sign of plague infection, so Gonot empties towns and ends battles just by showing up. This time period is also significant because there was once so many people that Gonot could find a new town after one day of walking, but now revenants could wander for months and not encounter anything but thousands of miles of wasteland.

After wandering Surenia, barely holding himself together, trying to make friends, and killing thousands by accident, Gonot gets hit by a mudslide and sinks to the bottom of a lake, which dries up and traps him underground, so Gonot decides to Lainshere until the lake floods again. The story ends with a plea for the listeners to make their communities kinder and more peaceful so when Gonot wanders again, he won’t have to suffer.

Gonot probably never existed, since he is written as too preoccupied and destitute to record his own travels or tell them all to someone else. It’s believed that another early sane revenant wrote Wandering Gonot as a compilation of real events that happened to many different sane revenants in attempt to prove their sanity and humanise them to the hostile and suspicious living. It worked, because the story has been preserved for all this time, and the living like the story because it makes revenants funny and understandable, and revenants like it because many of Gonot’s struggles match their own. Most city dwellers, living and dead, are grateful because they don’t suffer from lack of basic understanding like the characters in Wandering Gonot do. 

Although Wandering Gonot is meant to be funny, many stories have an undercurrent of inescapable loneliness, such as “Priest of Harus” where Gonot meets another sane revenant but he’s a High Priest of a different God than he prayed to, so they could never be friends, and “Bone Mare” where Gonot finds a horse revenant and tries to catch it, but no matter what it always runs faster than he can so it slowly gets smaller and smaller in the distance until it disappears, except for one extremely divisive story that has since spun off into its own separate thing.

MERCIFUL DEATH

Gonot is hanging out in an orchard after harvest, because it’s a nostalgic place close to civilization, but nobody is there because all the remaining fruit is rotten. He sees a living maiden in a tree and tries to leave before she sees him and raises the alarm, but she isn’t afraid, introducing herself like he was any normal person. Gonot climbs the tree and has the first conversation with a living person he can remember. Goblinder asks how he was able to stay sane, then asks Gonot to strangle her. It is her town custom for plague bearers to do penance by starvation, and once they know she has the plague, they will wall her into a room. Goblinder would rather die quickly at the hands of a stranger than slowly by the hands of her friends. 

Gonot doesn’t want to strangle her, so he pulls an arrow out of his back and stabs her in the heart with it. After Goblinder dies, Gonot climbs down and thinks about how plaguebearers are like rotten fruit because nobody wants them, and sane revenants are like good wine because it is a rare state that not all rotten fruit can reach.

20 stories later, Gonot encounters a sane revenant with an arrow sticking out of her chest. It’s Goblinder. 

Although the original story wasn’t explicitly romantic, a lot of motifs from it, such as a heart pierced by arrows, fruit wine, and being in a tree with someone, became symbols of romance. There have been several rewrites and expansions of Merciful Death, usually with Goblinder deciding to travel with Gonot after either their first or second meeting. The archetype of a revenant killing someone begging for death and later falling in love with them was used for countless other stories. One Merciful Death subgenre exploded in popularity 300-400 years ago, because this was the time Veilheim was finally prosperous enough to support fine art and literature, and also relationships between the dead and the living weren’t taboo yet. 

One Merciful Death rewrite in this subgenre became so popular that it superseded the original and when people talk about Merciful Death, it’s usually in reference to this one. In this version, Gonot is a Gore Mage royal doctor and Goblinder is a Princess, and instead of everything being over and done in a single conversation, Gonot agonises over whether or not to kill Goblinder and what it means for her kingdom to lose their last heir while trying not to think about what she means to him, and Goblinder tries to live what remains of her life by taking scented baths, suffering elegantly from plague, hunting, and throwing huge parties while screaming inside because she truly doesn’t want to die. Whenever they meet, Gonot tries to stay professional while Goblinder tries to act resolute. After several emotional breakdowns and dramatic confessions, Goblinder finally loves Gonot enough to trust him to kill her. What tragic heartbreak! If Goblinder didn’t love him, she could yet live! Gonot uses Gore Magic to pull all of Goblinder’s blood out of a few small cuts so she can die painlessly. 

Gonot is depressed and wandering aimlessly outside for medicinal herbs to avoid the royal palace as much as possible and suddenly gets shot in the chest with an arrow. A hunter runs up and apologises for mistaking him for a wild animal. It’s Goblinder. 

Detractors hate this version of Merciful Death because the original was about two ordinary people calmly choosing to kill and die because this was the only way to survive in a world that feared them, and Merciful Death is basically set in Veilheim. Gonot and Goblinder are rich assholes wasting everyone’s time and money on interpersonal drama and killing and dying out of laziness and cowardice. This story is also hated for public health reasons now that romance between the dead and living is taboo, and also how it’s creepy to kill someone right as they are most in love, forcing them to stay in love forever.

Enthusiasts love this version of Merciful Death because it portrays the wild and opulent zeitgeist of Veilheim 400 years ago, and regardless of how it’s seen now, there really were romantic scandals between revenants and the living at that time, and Gonot would surely rather be a rich educated Gore Mage doctor in a kingdom where revenants are accepted than a terrified and confused peasant where almost everyone is trying to kill him. The whole point is that society has finally become kind and peaceful enough that outrageous luxury and interpersonal drama are the driving forces of people’s lives instead of survival.

Merciful Death Enthusiasts and Detractors are basically political parties. The Mayor of Veilheim stays neutral because he is a foreigner and wouldn’t have as much knowledge and attachment of Merciful Death as a born and raised Veilheimer.

Master Courtesan is a huge public Merciful Death stan because it’s expected of her, but her dark secret is that she doesn’t think it’s very good. Also she killed the author centuries ago for entirely different reasons.

Tax Collector has the political leanings of a Merciful Death stan but is a Merciful Death hater, because his job involves stabbing and being stabbed and he’s sick of people seeing it in a romantic context.

THAES

Unlike the huge rambling epics above, Thaes doesn’t exist in a specific story and instead serves as a mouthpiece for social commentary. Thaes is witty enough to make interesting observations, but is also oblivious enough to say them out loud. Thaes blunders her way to success via blind luck and coincidence, or she could just be resourceful. Depending on the story, she may be living or dead, anywhere on The World, set in any time. In a more contemporary setting, if Thaes is dead, she is instead called Careless Weaver. If you don’t want to reveal where you got information, you can say, “I heard it from Thaes.” Naming your children Gonot and Goblinder is universally seen as cringe, but Thaes is always a popular name for girls.

Thaes got the plague and had to leave the living district. She sees a stubborn donkey, refusing to take a single step and braying so loudly no one else can speak. “Good morning, The Mayor! How brightly Veilheim shines under your rule!” Thaes sees a towering lumbering ox, pulling ten times its own weight but moving as slowly as a snail. “Good morning, Noble Porter! Any important deliveries today?” Thaes sees a wild ass, kicking high and menacing its handlers with its horns. “Good morning, Tax Collector! Surely not everyone owes you money!”

Thaes is deciding which prosthetics to save for before she dies. She visits Noble Engineer and he says, “Your carpometacarpal and distal phalanges are gone! Do you want 32-2 cobalt steel? Do you want 56-1 lead steel? Do you-” Thaes interrupts, “You speak too quickly and I don’t understand what you are asking! I will ask someone else.” Thaes visits a Principian and he says, “I won’t let the Veilheimers make a carcass out of you. Why don’t you become a bronze statue like me?” Thaes says, “I may not look like a carcass in a statue, but it’s so heavy! I will feel like a carcass.” Thaes visits a Cyrenean and he says, “Don’t get prosthetics. Let yourself fall to pieces.” 

Careless Weaver stands in the market with her wares, yelling, “Tubes! Get your metal tubes! Use them for anything you want! Water pipes! Prosthetics! Augers! Opium cooling!”. A guard asks, “Say, Careless Weaver. You are not an Industrial Mage. Where did you get these metal tubes?” Thaes says, “We got new spring-powered looms put into the textile factory. We revenants had a go, and now look at them. Post-hole diggers! Pastry stamps! Rolling pins!”

Although Thaes stories are mostly told in person, and their format ensures a ton of them are extremely horrible, there are some written compilations of them, and Thaes will probably become a character in the distant future the same way Gonot is a character now.

ROSANGELA AND BENDANIEL

In a world where the plague is a fact of life, it’s fitting that the most popular horror story portrays being plague-free as alienating and unnatural. As the plague reaches the western shore of Surenia, the royal family escaped by sea to Sidra, but burned all the ships they left behind. Rosangela and her husband Bendaniel are imploring a powerful mage to save them and their children, and before he leaves to Sidra, he gives them a book of instructions for a magic ritual that allows them to be plague-free while they are conducting it and live forever, free from revenants once it’s finished.

By the end of the month, the plague has hit the coastline, and both of them have been bitten by plaguebearing animals with no ill effects. But the steps of the ritual are steadily getting more difficult, rubbing human ashes on themselves and eating nothing. Fortunately, the ritual also protects their children, who are growing up and looking more and more like their parents. The ritual worsens, and by the time it’s finished, their whole town is empty except for them and insane revenants. Rosangela and Bendaniel starve to death in a pit of human ashes. 

Their children are now identical to them, take their parents’ names, and have children of their own. Rosangela and Bendaniel and Rosangela and Bendaniel live like ghosts, unable to be touched by anything aside from their own family. When Rosangela and Bendaniel die, Rosangela and Bendaniel take their place as the heads of the family, and Rosangela and Bendaniel have to take on new responsibilities. 

Rosangela and Bendaniel and Rosangela and Bendaniel live in a little house together, with a pit of corpses on one side for Rosangela and Rosangela and another pit on the other side for Bendaniel and Bendaniel. 

Unlike the other stories, the city of Alhambra claims these people actually exist and are still alive. They are studied by the mages there, although it might be a lie to maintain Alhambra’s elite magic reputation. Rosangela and Bendaniel reportedly regret performing the ritual and refuse to share it, but it is known that it involves huge amounts of mugwort. 

Most people believe Rosangela and Bendaniel don’t exist, and the story is a cautionary tale about extreme measures taken to avoid the plague being worse than getting the plague, which makes a lot of sense given that the most plague-free regions are filled with inbreeding, cannibalism, and/or violent xenophobia. 

Some people believe that this story is about how life itself is bad, plague or no plague, since Rosangela and Bendaniel suffer every way the living can suffer before dying and compelling their children to replace them, and becoming a revenant is the only escape from going extinct or having someone take your place and continue to suffer.

[allthethingamabobs]

family sticks together, bruh

Notes: I was re-watching the Bay-verse movies and suddenly got irritated at the no last name thing at the end of the second one. April O'Neil was right there. Their ride-or-die, their badass older sister, their hogosha. So here's my first contribution to the TMNT fandom. I literally wrote this in half a day, so if you see any writing errors all I gotta say is...my bad. Enjoy the found family fluff!

Rating: G

Also on AO3.

April figured it all started with a package hastily stuffed in her mailbox. It was barely small enough to fit, wrapped in that tough paper-cardboard material, and took a few careful pulls to get out. She couldn’t recall ordering anything recently, so the least she could do was try not to destroy what was most likely her neighbor’s mail. But when she flipped it over for the addressee, she was surprised to see “Mikey O’Neil” on it.

April and her “childhood pets” had been reunited four months back now, and it continued to throw her life upside down. A happy upside down, though. Those two names together were doing a number on the loner habits she’d built up since her father’s death. Apparently, all it took was four mutant teenagers and their father to start breaking down those walls.

She snapped a photo of the package and sent it to Mikey as she walked up to her apartment. Her phone lit up with a video chat request seconds later. The boys were just like any other teens when there weren’t bad guys to fight—they loved texting (on their one-of-a-kind turtle phones), sending her snaps, and video chatting whenever they could. April supposed that 15 years alone in a sewer could make one a little starved for new attention, and she was always happy to talk.

One of Mikey’s eyes filled the screen first, and then his grinning face when he pulled back. “You got it!” he hollered.

There was a thump from somewhere behind him, and Leo yelled something about peace and quiet when meditating. Then all she could see was a blurry carapace as Mikey quickly escaped to some other part of the lair. “You got it!” he cheered again, down to a whisper-yell.

“Sure did,” she answered with a smile, while making sure her apartment door locked behind her. “A little heads up would be nice, though. People do steal packages.”

“Man, that would’ve been no bueno. It has my name on it and everything.”

She shrugged—it was New York, what could she say. “About that… Mikey O’Neil, huh?”

He brightened. “Yeah! Makes sense, right? You’ve always been family even if we got separated for like, way too long, and who wouldn’t want to be a badass O’Neil?”

“Hm.” Her smile was fond even as she bit her lip to keep herself from doing something dramatic like tearing up. “You make some excellent points.”

Mikey nodded, seemingly proud of his reasoning. “You get me, April. So when are you gonna come hang out?”

“Not until tomorrow at least.” She set the phone on the counter as she turned to mess with the oven dials. “I’ve got to eat, and then a grimy bathroom and donation boxes are calling my name.”

Two weeks ago, a great aunt she hadn’t talked to since her father’s funeral had passed away and apparently left her succession rights to a New York miracle: a rent-controlled apartment above a quiet antique store. It was a dated unit and still smelled a bit like old people, but she was making it work.

A whine came from her phone. “Aw, shell… Oh, hey! We could help! Four mutants and a human are better than one!”

“That’s sweet, Mikey, but I’ve got this.” Plus, she was starting to pick up the brother’s dynamics. That visit would devolve into complete chaos in no time, given the cluttered mess. There were a lot of breakable objects she was still in the process of either packing up or donating.

“Your loss, Ape. Guess we’ll see you tomorrow.” He got up close to the camera again and whispered dramatically, “You’ll bring the package, right?”

She snorted and leaned over so he could see her face. “Pinky swear.”

“I don’t have a pinky, so I’ll have to believe you. Bye, April!”

The screen went blank, and April had a glimpse of herself in the reflection. She had to admit… her smile looked a lot more genuine these days.

In work news, however, life had been a lot of sucking up to Bernadette and the team after getting her job back, so she didn’t get down to the lair until late in the evening. Entering through the water system wasn’t exactly ideal, so they’d built a biometric, heavily enforced door as an alternative. Leo spotted her first as she shoved her way in and waved from where he was cleaning his katanas.

The new lair seemed to change every time she visited—more light-up signs or beat-up furniture appearing—and she still felt a little guilty for being the reason behind the move. The guys had assured her that they didn’t blame her, and they were having fun with the tall ceilings and tunnels in the new space. Splinter had even claimed one to start a bonsai garden.

“Hey, April! How was your day?” Leo called, carefully setting his weapons aside to get up.

“Not too bad, mostly research on some detox craze—”

“April!?” There was a crash from the back where they had set up a gym area in an upper opening. Mikey came tumbling out, almost right on top of where Raph was exiting the lower tunnel, and he gracefully avoided retaliation. “You got the goods?”

Leo shot her a confused frown, and she answered with a fond “don’t ask” look before rummaging in her bag to pull it out. “Yes, Mikey, I have the goods.”

Mikey bounced over and pulled her into a quick, bone-crushing hug before taking the package out of her hands. He ripped into it and pulled out a gaudy gold chain that looked like it once belonged in a 2000’s music video.

“Bling, bling!” he crowed and threw the shell necklace off to be replaced.

“Wait a minute, is that what was so important you had to order it?” Donnie said as he and Raph joined the group. “That’s such a waste of money!”

“Some ninja you are,” Raph snorted. “You can see that ugly-ass chain from a mile away.”

Leo hummed at that and then frowned. “Mikey, did you even ask April if you could send that to her place before you ordered it?”

Said turtle shrugged. “I knew she wouldn’t mind.”

The others seemed to erupt at once.

“Except it’s an unknown package being sent to her place, especially with the Foot Clan knowing her association with us—”

“Even worse, it’s inconsiderate to just assume—”

“Even worse, Leo? What kind of bullshit is that—”

April was an only child (well, not so much anymore), so she wasn’t used to how quickly one small thing could turn into a full blown argument. If pushing got involved, then 6-foot mutant turtles or not, she would break up that fight—yup, there’s the shoving.

“Guys, GUYS!” April moved forward and intercepted the beginning of whatever as they all avoided bumping into her. “It’s fine. You can have stuff sent to my place, I don’t care. As long as I can get it down here.”

It took a little more convincing to assure them that no, they were not imposing on her, and then they seemed excited about this new opportunity. Apparently, they’d had to scout out addresses before and sneak the package away before the occupants realized. Obviously, this was much more convenient.

Steadily, they all started to order stuff online (with what money or credit card she had no idea) and have it sent to her place. Parts for Donnie, books for Leo, and though she only felt it through the packaging, yarn for Raph. At first, Mikey was the only one who used O’Neil for the address. Then something changed, and they all started to use it too. A package of tea addressed to Splinter O’Neil gave her a small laugh one day. Raph had been the last to address himself as O’Neil, always so stubborn, and seemed almost shy when she delivered it.

April knew she was very biased on this, having seen them as teeny-tiny babies, but her little-big brothers could be pretty adorable sometimes.

---

The last name thing had come up with Splinter one day as they sat in his quiet bonsai garden, enjoying some tea while the boys burned off energy around the rest of the lair.

“I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or anything, but I’ll admit it’s… nice. My dad was really all I had for family, so it was just us and then me for so long. It’s almost like this has all… I don’t know, come full-circle? If that makes sense?”

Splinter smiled and reached out to lay his hand on hers.

“I was not lying when I said I modeled my parenting after your father. One way or another, you both cared for this family, and you know we consider you a part of it.” April nodded, a little choked up, and grasped his hand. He’d said it himself, but she wasn’t ready to fully relive how Splinter felt so familiar, so comforting.

“Besides,” he continued with a chuckle. “Michelangelo has quite enjoyed having a last name, and I think the others were a bit hesitant before they saw that you didn’t mind.”

“Of course not, I’m all for it,” April laughed, wiping under her eyes. “Now there’s more than just me to make the O’Neil name proud.”

---

One other thing she had discovered about being a big sister to four trouble-prone teens: full names were extremely effective.

“Donatello O’Neil!” she shouted the second she stepped into the lair, and all movement ceased. Leo balanced on one foot, mid-throw, Raph was mid-swing across the lair, and Mikey had an orange soda titled towards his face, where it slowly dripped down his front.

A weak “Oh, shell” came from the direction of the lab, and she stormed over. A taunt from Mikey followed but was quickly cut off with a grunt. Donnie was hunched over his desk, head turned slightly to look up at April’s furious approach.

“Why the hell did I just find a tracker in not one but all of my jackets?” She reached into her pocket, grasped the tiny devices, and tossed them on the desk. “I almost had a panic attack thinking I was being tracked by someone else. You know that’s been one of my worst fears ever since the Shredder, and we’ve talked about privacy and emergency plans, Donnie. I have a panic button on my phone, and I gave you permission to track it when absolutely necessary.” She let out a frustrated huff, pointing at the trackers. “What. Are. These?”

He’d sputtered a bit and avoided her eyes as she spoke, but he finally looked up when she stood silent, waiting for an answer. His shoulders drooped, and he wheeled back from his desk to face her. Even sitting, Donnie was only slightly shorter than her.

“Contingency plan,” he finally bit out. “Phones are most likely the first thing a kidnapper would get rid of to avoid tracking.”

“Wh— kidnapper?” That caught her off guard, and the tension in her shoulders released a little. Was there a new danger she didn’t know about? “But who… Oh.”

Movement on his tablet drew her eye, and the footage there followed a shady van that looked very familiar.

The Foot Clan—because an organization that big could still survive with their leader in jail for a year now—had disabled her turtle-approved security system and ransacked her apartment a couple of weeks ago. The cameras from across the street told them that and how the intruders had missed April coming home by a mere 12 minutes. They had obviously been searching for something specific, and she eventually realized it must have been the box of notes from Project Renaissance. Luckily, they had been stored in the lair for safe keeping.

After coming home to that mess, April called Donnie right away and started packing up her necessities. All four of the turtles had met her at her usual sewer entrance, and they formed a tense detail on the trip back. She worked out-of-office that week as she laid low in the lair and waited for the all-clear while they doubled up her apartment’s security. Splinter and the boys were good about giving her space when she was working, but she could still feel the hovering and worry. The guys had been in and out more often, Splinter always had some tea ready for her, and she just knew there had been many hushed conversations out of earshot.

Sure, deadly henchmen being in her apartment had freaked her out, but it had really freaked out her new family. April held her own against all of the weird shit they got dragged into, but there were always reminders that she did not have a shell or ninja training; a sprained ankle, one small concussion, too many bruises to remember, and even a few less inches of hair when it got singed in an explosion.

She looked between the tablet and Donnie, but now he held his gaze steady. “The Foot know where you live, and you refuse to move. This was the best way for us to always be there when you need us.” His voice was even, calculated, but his hands were clasped tightly and one foot tapped insistently.

Oh, her sweet, overprotective boys. Under all that bullet-proof shell, they were all just teenagers who had five people in the world to call family, and they did not take that for granted.

April sighed and turned to sit against the desk, holding out one hand. Donnie took it and held on, grip tight. “It comes from a good place, Donnie, but you have to tell me about these things. Trust goes both ways, okay?”

Leo, Raph, and Mikey were hovering around the entrance to the lab, and she gave them all a stern look to reiterate her point. “I know I don’t have a shell, but I am scrappy, stubborn, and awesome at running in heels.”

“Way better than the Jurassic World chick,” Mikey piped up, and Raph lightly punched his arm.

“You’re damn right,” April answered, smiling at his effort to lighten the mood. “So I appreciate the worry, guys, but you need to talk to me. I worry, too. You might forget, but you’re not invincible.”

“Better off than you,” Raph grunted. This time Mikey punched him, not as lightly. “What, it’s true!”

April sighed. “Come on, Raph, you know muscle isn’t everything.”

“No,” he grumbled, “but you got us. Whether or not you like it, we can take the hard hits.”

“What he means to say,” Leo said, shoving Raph back with his shoulder, “is that we were worried, and we didn’t think you were taking the threat seriously enough.” Donnie’s hand gripped hers a little harder, and she looked back to see him nod in agreement. “We are sorry about the secrecy, though.”

April sighed. “Fair point. You know I love you guys,” they perked up at that, “but having back-up is kind of a new thing for me. It’s habit to go solo, and it’s habit for you four to be a team.”

She held out her other hand. Leo was closest, and he took it with some hesitation. “Still a learning process all around.”

Mikey eagerly grasped Leo’s other hand and then Raph’s, refusing to let go even as Raph gave a shake, so they were all joined. “Family sticks together, bruh.”

---

The O’Neils had been a thing for awhile now, but writing it down was very different to actually saying it outloud. Mikey had no trouble claiming his new last name, and had even dubbed some pizza monstrosity he concocted from as many toppings he could get as the “O’Neil Special.” For the others, it took some time to say it—at least when she was around to hear.

Eight months. Donnie had been talking a mile a minute about a phone meeting set up with an award-winning engineer currently teaching at NYU. He’d been given 30 minutes to ask her all the questions he wanted. April had kind of bullied Vern into setting it up with his new connections, and Donnie had asked her to be there for moral support. She assured him it was all going to go great and to just make the call already. His shoulders went rigid under her hands when the call connected. “Hi! Hello, uh, this is Donatello O’Neil, I got your number from Vern? The Falcon?” She squeezed his shoulders in comfort, grinning proudly for many reasons.

One year and 2 months. Raph had been playing a one-on-one basketball game with Donnie while April refereed. Even as the self-proclaimed muscles, Raph was agile, and he did a quick maneuver around Donnie to score a perfect 3-pointer. “And Raph O’Neil makes the shot!” he whooped, doing a quick victory dance. He didn’t seem to realize it, but April certainly did. She felt warm and fuzzy after that, so she let him get away with traveling a couple minutes later.

For Leo, it just hadn’t come up yet. Although, one day she’d been stress cleaning their mess of a kitchen, and opened one beat-up book in curiosity to see “Leonardo O’Neil” neatly written on the cover page. That was enough for her.

Then her amazing family had finally gotten the acknowledgement they so rightly deserved.

“To you, brothers. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo.” Chief Vincent paused. “Last name?”

The guys all glanced her way, and April didn’t care if her eyes were a little watery at Leo’s answer. “O’Neil.”

[blackphoenixalchemylab]

Lilith’s Winter Travelogue: New Perfume Blends

In winter of 2017, we used our savings, blew our collective airline miles, and maxed out our credit cards on a trip to Paris, Salzburg, and Berlin so that we could attend a Krampuslauf, visit the Christmas markets, and help Lilith practice her French in realtime. I’m pretty sure that we’ll be paying off that trip for the next decade, but it’s all worth it. We travel with our daughter Lilith as much as we can; we take her to conventions and business trips and trade shows, we take her on road trips and weekenders, we have taken her to as many cities, states, and countries as we could manage.

I want her to meet people who are not like her. I want her to hear voices that are not like her own. I want her to see history alive and vibrant surrounding her. I want her to see, hear, touch, and understand. I think she could stop here and do miracles. The following collection is a perfume scrapbook of these warm family memories, which we set aside to share during the coldest winter months. Lilith and Brian (our Doc Constantine!) have contributed scents and stories to this series. You can find Ted’s scrapbook of the trip there, too!

++ LILITH’S WINTER TRAVELOGUE

A BALMY 26 DEGREES

These three are far braver than I am. It was snowing buckets and the wind was whipping across the Fuschlsee, but these maniacs still went into the outdoor hot tub.

A wintry spa scent: green tea, aloe, eucalyptus, icy lemon, and French sage.

ARC DE TRIOMPHE CARROUSEL

Once the site of a guillotine that rolled the heads of thirty-five people during the Terror, now the site of a triumphal arch dedicated to Napoleon’s military victories of 1805.

Also: my family is ridiculous.

A sharpened blade, a pinch of snuff, a blast of gunpowder, and a pop of strawberry bubblegum.

AT THE KRAMPUSLAUF

I know I’ve talked about Lilith’s experiences with Krampus for years, so I hesitate to reiterate them here. She loves Krampus. Her love for Krampus easily equals her love for Santa, so in 2017, we took her to the Gnigl Krampuslauf in Salzburg (which we memorialized in our 12 Lashes From Krampus and Perchtenläufe series). She was enraptured. She was charmed by the wee little kid Krampuses, the Perchten, the switches, and the chains. She loved the snow and icicles, the roadside cider vendors and the bitterly cold air. I love this photo; it really seems to encapsulate her joy that night: the sparkle in her eyes and her bursts of laughter.

Ice, leather, and snow warmed by a steaming stein of children’s glühwein.

BEARS OF BERLIN

Even in utero, Lilith had a full head of hair. She looked like a Monchhichi when she was born, and from the moment I first saw her, I called her Bear. She’s my Baby Bear, Bunnybear, Bearington, Beanie Bear. I made up bear bedtime stories for her – we still tell each other bear jokes all the time. Every time I see a bear video or meme, I save it for her, my little Princess Bear.

While we were in Berlin, we made a point of taking photos with as many Buddy Bears as possible. They’re intended to symbolize peace, tolerance, and understanding between religions, nations, and cultures worldwide, and Lilith knows how important that is – especially now.

Sweet buttered rum, brown musk, wildflower honey, tonka bean, labdanum, and clove.

BEWARE: PICKPOCKETS!

Brian: “Lilith is always up for staging a hammy, fun photo. Here, I’ve found a Distracted American Child at Weihnachtsmarkt am Alexanderplatz and am very subtly and skillfully picking her pocket.”

Lilith: “We saw a sign on the ground that said Pickpockets! – and me and Unkie decided to pose like what the picture looked like. He let me pickpocket him for real after we took the picture and he let me keep the money.”

Neon pink grapefruit, lemon peel, petitgrain, and peppermint, all crunchy with sugar crystals.

BYE, AUSTRIA!

Lilith: “Nooooo! I don’t want to leave Salzburg!!!! I loved how it snowed, and I loved the food. I piled up on bread, mostly, but the bread was really good. And honeycomb. And bacon and sausage and eggs. I loved the outdoor hot tub thingymajigger. Being in a spa when it’s so cold outside is fun. I love the Christmas markets and I got unicorn and bat stuffy heat packs which is so cool.”

Brian: “I agree with Lilith’s sentiment on this. All the cities we visited were great, but Salzburg was the most charming. I loved the Christmas markets in Berlin, but Salzburg was… – quainter? I loved the gruff and distant replies we got to questions we posed to locals. I LOVED THE KRAMPUSLAUF. You can’t beat a Krampuslauf. Plus, I got a fancy hat. A legit fancy Tyrolean hat. I love that hat.”

This scent? Sachertorte.

C’EST ICI L’EMPIRE DE LA MORT

Our trip to the Catacombs was bittersweet. Lilith was touched by the beauty and poignancy of the experience, but also horrified by the stories of people getting lost underground.

Lilith surrounded by the ghosts of six million Parisians: damp black moss, grey sandalwood chips of bone, and winding sheets of balsam, ambergris, nagarmotha, and frankincense.

CATHEDRALE NOTRE-DAME DE PARIS

Lilith meets the Gargoyles of Paris: stone and ancient incense, beeswax and lavender smoke. 

CREPE AUX FRAISES

Lilith’s first genuine Parisian crêpe!

Strawberries, whipped cream, confectioners sugar, vanilla bean, and orange zest.

DIE JUNGFRAU

Brian: “She’s my Mini Me.”

Lilith: “This was me and Unkie posing for a picture with a play thing going on in the background at the ice rink in Alexanderplatz. I didn’t understand it because it was all happening in German, but it was fun!! I love my Unkie so much. He’s like my older twin. We have the same birthday and we are both year of the Rat. Mom is a stinky ol’ Tiger. Anyway, I just love him so much.”

Virgo’s sacred lavender and mosses with thyme, chamomile, lemon balm, and fig.

ELLE EST HEUREUSE

It was pouring rain and bitterly cold, but this smile kept me warm.

Wrought iron lattice and sparkling amber lights.

FIRST MORNING IN PARIS

We were exhausted, hungry, and batty from travel, but Lilith made herself right at home. She’s a born traveler, and takes just about everything that happens on a trip in stride; she’s as comfortable in a hotel, hostel, or airport floor as she is at home. Just before dawn on our first morning in Paris, I tried to talk Lilith into putting on a coat and watching the sun rise with me, but she’s didn’t bite.

Burgundy oudh and crushed velvet musk with a misting of lavender.

GALERIE DES GLACES

Lilith in the Hall of Mirrors: marble and gilded bronze, Venetian mirrors and a drop of poison.

GORDIAN HAIRMOP

Brian: “It’s something we always do when we’re on a trip, ever since she was really little. She complains constantly about how Beth brushes her hair, and I honestly enjoy the challenge of brushing her mop. It’s like that knot Alexander had to undo, except on my niece’s head, and I don’t have the option to cut it. Plus, her hair looks really nice when it’s done right.”

Lilith: “Every time we’re on a trip together, Unkie brushes my hair for me. I hate brushing my hair. Also cuz mom says I don’t do it thoroughly and I miss parts in the middle. I think there are pictures of him brushing my hair in every city we’ve ever been together. He brushes my hair way better than mom does.”

A warm scent, mahogany-dark: spiced teakwood, coffee bean, bourbon vetiver, styrax, tobacco, and oakmoss.

HELLO, SALZBURG!

Inspired by the deep purple hues of the night we arrived in Austria: icy air, plum musk, and blackberry with a beam of amber light.

HOHENSALZBURG FORTRESS

An absolutely stunning view of the Baroque historical district from high atop the Festungsberg.

A shiver of iced chocolate and white amber.

LA BASILIQUE DU SACRE COEUR DE MONTMARTE

Perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacrament has been continuing uninterrupted since 1885, and I wanted Lilith to see the monstrance where the Blessed Sacrament is held.

An incense for the Maid of Orléans: red rose beads, frankincense, lily of the valley, iris petals, red labdanum, and steel.

LA JOCONDE

There is nothing mysterious or enigmatic about my kiddo’s smile. Her joy, laughter, and good cheer radiate delight and are impossible to eclipse, even when she’s jetlagged and exhausted.

Bright Italian bergamot, pink grapefruit, sweet California sage, and glittery white musk.

LE CARROUSEL DE MONTMARTRE 

Spinning merrily at the foot of Sacré-Cœur, this is one of twenty permanent carousels scattered around Paris. Just down the road, Lilith watched street hustlers play Three-Card Monte and ply the old gold ring scam.

A swirl of color against a rainy backdrop: golden amber and blackberry oudh with pineapple, tobacco absolute, cinnamon leaf, bay, sweet vetiver, and red apple pulp.

LILITH DE MILO

A lesser-known work of art in vibrant 21st century polychrome: vanilla cream, coconut, fossilized amber, and white sandalwood.

LILITH’S FIRST ICICLE

The only icicles we get at home happen when we have a fridge malfunction.

Plucked from the walls of Hohensalzburg Fortress: a glassy frozen snowdrop with whipped cream and glacial musk.

MOMMY’S LITTLE M16 AGENT

Lilith learning the art of spycraft at Deutsches Spionagemuseum.

A pre-teen superspy’s secret identity: white pear, apple pulp, golden musk, and fossilized amber.

MORNING AT FUSCHLEE

Salzburg is so goddamn beautiful.

Chilled white tea, freesia, and bergamot blanketing skeletal branches. Winter wind brushing across still waters.

NEPTUNBRUNNEN

Brian: “No one else would come out onto the rink. It was just Lilith and me skating, and Beth and Ted were trying to get pictures. I was trying to teach Lilith to skate while dodging penguins and other tourists. There’s a pretty funny photo of Lilith falling and me lunging to catch her, and the funny part is that it’s angled in a way that almost looks like I’m pushing her down. We skated together a ton that night, and she insisted that we go back again the next night.”

Lilith: “I’ve ice skated before when I was littler with a thingy, but this is the first time I really learned how to ice skate. Unkie helped me when I wasn’t using the penguin and he skated me with a lot and helped me learn how to do it. I fell down a lot, but that’s fine.”

Sugared chestnut and powidltascherl.

OU SONT LES JOUETS S’IL VOUS PLAIT

Lilith’s French teacher is a lovely, kind, radiant human being, and always so generous with her time. Before Lilith left for Paris, she helped Lilith put together a cheat sheet of phrases that Lil knew she’d need for the trip.

Où sont les jouets, s’il vous plaît? French vanilla, strawberries, and raspberries.

OVERLOOKING THE GARDEN

While we were at Versailles, there was a bomb threat on the premises, and we were unable to see the garden due to the evacuation. It’s difficult to convey how challenging and heartbreaking it has been to explain things like this to Lilith, from shooter drills at school to bomb threats in palaces. We live in difficult times.

A perfume of hope for a brighter tomorrow: sun-dappled amber, yesterday’s rain, and fresh-cut grass.

PANTHEON!

All right, so we only saw the Panthéon for a moment because Lilith wanted to hurry the hell up and get some crêpes, but I can’t with this smile. It’s THE BEST.

An incense for Sainte Geneviève, patroness of Paris: iris root, frankincense, and violet leaf.

PERSPECTIVE

Lilith’s guide at the Louvre was attempting to explain the difference in perspective between Medieval and Renaissance art by utilizing paintings of the Nativity and the Adoration of the Shepherds from both periods, and it fell a little flat when he assumed that she knew what the paintings depicted and she hadn’t a clue beyond the fact that they were paintings of a lady holding some baby.

Oops? Sorry, mom!

The scent of failing to pass on a Catholic education to the next generation: spilled sacramental wine, a splatter of vermillion paint, Bible leather, and a puzzled cherry chypre.

POTSDAMER PLATZ TOBOGGAN

Brian: “Now this shit was fun. When we arrived in Berlin, we stopped by the Potsdamer Platz market for a few minutes on our way to the hotel, but we didn’t stay for long because we were all exhausted. We check into the hotel, and I open the curtains in my room and Lilith and I see the lights of the market… and this ride, this alpine slide, that we must have walked right by in the dark. Lilith and I knew we had to do it first thing in the morning.”

Lilith: “There was a humongous slidey thing where you sit in a pool thingamajiggy and slide down it. And you have to carry your pool thing up the stairs. Ok, so DAD had to drag it back up the stairs for me. Anyway, I went on it a bunch with my Unkie and my dad, and mostly mom took photos. AS USUAL. This was one of my favorite things in Berlin!”

A tube of black rubber sliding wildly down a whoosh of white musk and white oudh.

SCHEITERHAUFEN VOM BOSKOP APFEL

Okay, this isn’t a photo of Lilith, but it IS a photo of a dessert I had on the first night in Salzburg. It was delicious and amazing and perfect, and it gets its own scent.

Baked apples in cinnamon cream, with a blueberry and raspberry garnish.

SNOW BEAR

Lilith put on my boots to run out into the snow this morning in her pajamas. Ich wünsche dir einen guten morgen!

Pink cotton candy snow, tuberose, plumeria, melon blossom, green tea, lavender, and a shiver of white musk.

SNOW OF THE GRAVESTONES AT PETERSFRIEDHOF

Lilith at Petersfriedhof, the oldest cemetery in Salzburg. As the bells of Stift Sankt Peter tolled around us, we wandered through the graves and the catacombs that date back to Late Antiquity.

Benedictine incense drifting on a frost-chilled December breeze.

SNOWFLAKE-SHAPED SNOWFLAKES

We’re such ridiculous LA rubes. We were standing outside our hotel laughing, oohing and ahhhing, and taking photos of snowflake-shaped snowflakes, when an Austrian fellow walks up to us and says, “Snow.” I told him that we’re from Los Angeles, so snow is super exotic to us.

He nodded and walked away.

The awe and wonder of a couple of Angelinos marveling at the snowy snowness of the snowflakiest of snowflakes: golden amber, California sage, white tea, and sunny Matilija poppy speckled with snow.

SQUELETTE ET FANTOME

My two favorite spectres, haunting the apartments of Paris: white musk, graceful lavender, blackcurrant, teakwood, and cacao.

SWING CAROUSEL

Brian: “I’m not afraid of heights, but I am reasonably afraid of landing, and I have what I feel is a legitimate concern about rickety old carnival rides. I kinda hate carnival rides, but I’ll do it for Lilith.”

Lilith: “Mom says this ride is called a Swing Carousel, but she also calls it a Barf Ride. She wouldn’t go on it, but my dad and my Unkie did. We went on it, and it’s pretty much where you’re sitting in a flying seat. When we were stopped, I couldn’t reach the ground with my feet. I love this ride. The swing is kinda like one of those baby things you have at the park, with the bar for the babies. It’s like those swings, but crazy and way up high. We ate cheesy hot dogs and got hot chocolate right next to the ride, too.”

Bright orange peel and osmanthus with polished cedar, rings of burnished amber, sweet incense, and gingerbread.

THE HOHENZOLLERN CRYPT

Beneath the Berlin Cathedral lies the Hohenzollern family crypt. It is the final resting place of many of those who shaped the history of Berlin, and is one of the most important dynastic burial sites in Europe, with roots reaching back through centuries.

The memory of an 18th-century perfume from the royal houses of the Holy Roman Empire drifting through marble-white walls: white bergamot, clementine, lime peel, grapefruit, blood orange, neroli, lavender, thyme, and tobacco.

THE UMBRELLA INCIDENT

Travel brings educational experiences that you just can’t predict. We visited the German Spy Museum in Berlin on a whim, and Lilith learned all about the history of espionage, data encryption, cryptography, and cypher machines, poisons and truth serums, and the strange and clever artifacts of Cold War spycraft. For me, the most interesting part was the Stasi’s collection of scent samples of German dissidents. For Lilith, the best part of the museum was dodging beams in the laserparcours, full Mission Impossible-style.

Here, Lilith is inspecting the poisons exhibit after watching a reel about the Bulgarian umbrella.

Leather shoe phones, the gleaming metal of a M-125-3 Fialka cipher machine, a femme fatale’s heady, dark perfume, and a breath of castor bean accord.

THUTMOSE’S NEFERTITI

While we were at the Ägyptisches Museum und Papyrussammlung, I desperately wanted to see the Nefertiti bust and share the moment with Lilith. There’s a story behind why the bust is so important to me, but that’s for another time. Suffice to say, I was overwhelmed with awe and joy, and a kind docent told me that we could take a photograph from the doorway as long as we didn’t use flash. This blurry mess is my best attempt!

Myrrh steeped with cardamom, cinnamon, and sweet wine, streaked with lines of labdanum kohl, and gilded with crushed ambrette seed, a copper oxide musk, and accords of lime spar and iron oxide.

TRAVEL BUDDIES

Brian: “Here, we’re en route to Frankfurt Flughafen and then off to Berlin. It’s always fun to travel with Lilith. We’ve been on a lot of trips together, going all the way back to her first trip out of LA when she was 1. We went to New Orleans that time. We’ve traveled for work and we’ve traveled for fun, and everything is a little bit more interesting when I’m with this kid.”

Lilith: “I remember being in a t-shirt in the freezing cold here because I took my jacket off in the airport because it was so hot. I love travelling with my Unkie.”

A reinvigorating travel survival oil containing essential oils of frankincense, lemon, eucalyptus, peppermint and rosemary. Leave it to the Virgos to have a practical oil here.

UBI BENE, IBI PATRIA

Lilith once told me that home is wherever her loved ones are. My sweet girl, may you always be surrounded by those who love and support you.

White musk and lavender, frankincense and amber incense, sugar cookies, rose petals, and Florida Water.

VIRGO SNOWBALL

Brian: “Our first morning in Salzburg, I wake up to the sound of something thudding against the window. I look outside, and Lilith is out in the snow throwing snowballs at our door. So, I put on all my snow gear – mittens, hat, boots, overcoat, the whole pile of stuff – as fast as I can, and I go outside and I realize this kid is in her just in her long johns and her mom’s snow boots, standing in the snow laughing. Beth comes out yelling for her to put her snow clothes on and to get out of Beth’s boots because she was getting snow in them. She gets changed, and we run around snowball fighting.

“There’s another story – an inside joke – that if my feet get cold wherever we are, we have to go home. But I’ll save that for another time.”

Lilith: “You can’t tell in the picture, but I’m in my jammies here under my coat and stuff. Me and Unkie had a snowball fight. We tried to build a snowman, but it very much failed. Unkie got me a lot with the snow, but I got him back!”

A scent the color of the sun rising over Lake Fuschl: a joyful lemon ginger cologne with a touch of bay leaf and white tea.

WEIHNACHTSMARKTE

The first Christmas market that we visited in Berlin was at Potsdamer Platz. We were completely wiped from the day of travel from Salzburg, but we were stubbornly determined to at least step into the market before collapsing into bed.

The scent of brightly frosted lebkuchen, warm mutzenmandeln, and chocolate-drizzled, marzipan filled schneeballen.

YULETIDE AT HEATHROW

Honestly, there are a lot of smells in any given airport that I probably shouldn’t translate into a perfume, but this particular scent was inspired by this radiant ribbon tree at Heathrow and the joyful little girl standing in front of it.

Sparks of snow-white musk dotted with shining bulbs of blackcurrant, plum, and lavender.

ZONKED IN PARIS

Even the most intrepid adventurers get sleepy.

Coffee, coffee, and more coffee for the grownups, and vanilla ice cream to en’sugar the kiddo out from her stupor.

[peggyfromtheblockk]

Get to Know the Blogger

Hey! So, I’ve realized aside from a few comments here and there, I haven’t really talked on here at all! This sad thought made me realize it was time to share a lot of unnecessary stuff so maybe you can get a basic--detailed--idea of who I am. So here’s a bunch of word vomit and feel free to come talk to me, I promise I’m a lot nicer than a lot of my answers make me seem lol

Name: You can call me E.

Age: 20

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5’7

Languages spoken: English but I do remember a few random words of Spanish

Nationality & Location: American and Michigan

Work: Currently working in the infant room at a daycare

Favorite fruit: Blueberries

Favorite scent: Lavender, vanilla, or apple

Favorite animal: I really love otters and llamas

Favorite fictional character: Dana Scully of course (though, I do have a soft spot for Stella Gibson)

Favorite candy: KitKat’s but currently I’ll devour almost any chocolate given to me

Favorite holiday: Christmas and Halloween. But probably Halloween more because I love the prep and the actual day, whereas I just really love the prep for Christmas

Favorite season: I really like autumn because my hometown and college towns are so beautiful but I love spring because I love everything coming back to life

Favorite Social Media? Twitter, but like, stan twitter

Favorite thing about where you live? I just love that I have some of my favorite people within literal minutes of me. It’s a really comforting feeling. And we have a fair every year which is gross but entertaining at the same time

Favorite swear word? Probably shit, but fuck and damn do escape quite often

What are you listening to:  As of right now When I Kissed The Teacher from MM2

What Books Are You Reading? I have three books I haven’t finished and haven’t touched in like two months. We, Beaches, and Yes Please

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Around 1 in the morning usually

What Makes You Happy? A lot of things, though I don’t always realize that. I’m usually an “It’s the little things” person too. BUT to answer, Gillian and msr never fail to make me happy

What Are You Craving Right Now? I could smash a plate of spaghetti right now

What Is Your Gender? Female (she/her pronouns)

What Is Your Sexuality? Bisexual but I’m definitely like 85% women, 15% men

What’s The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? MAMMA MIA 2 IM SO EXCITED

What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I’m a sucker for blue eyes

What Do You Wear To Bed? A tee and shorts usually but if I’m in The Mood I’ll wear just a tee (Yes, That Mood)

What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I love the sound of a campfire and babies laughing or babbling literally melts my heart

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Usually, their eyes but I’m drawn to those with a bright genuine smile

What’s something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Being With My People. They never fail to make me feel warm and fuzzy. Also when I get a cute little note from my favorite professor on an assignment because she is like the light of my life  

What are your hobbies? When I’m not in school I like to read and I’m able to write some. During school, you can find me watching x files, sleeping, or enjoying movies or music

What’s your favorite book? I love anything by Laurie Halse Anderson and really anything in the YA genre

What inspires you? Gillian is really inspiring to me because of all the work she does to help others. Bette Midler too

What’s your favorite place in the whole world? well, ok. So, I love Mackinac Island because it’s so beautiful and peaceful (even with thousands of tourists covering the tiny location) but I also just love when I’m with my people. When I’m with one of My People wherever we are, that’s my favorite place because I’m really happy. Also, I really love my work because nothing exists outside those four walls except the babies I take care of

What do you typically have for breakfast? A big cup of coffee and the occasional bagel or bowl of cereal

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? The first semester of my sophomore year I had this 60-70 page case study due for the end of the term for an education class. For at least a week I would stay up until about 5 am working on it, go to sleep, get up at 7:30 am and do it all over again. That’s been my most stressful and sleep deprived time of my life so far and just looking bad makes me shudder. At least I got a 99% on it

What makes you angry? A lot of things. Let’s not get into that.

What makes you nervous? Uh, everything. But thinking about the real part of my future (bills, working, adulting) really gets me going

Do you wear glasses: Yes and these specific frames fucking suck and my eyes keep getting worse (my doctor told me I’d need surgery before I turned 30, wtf thanks dude)

Do You Have Freckles? Yes and it used to bother me how many I have but thanks to fics that mention Scully’s, I’ve become fond of them

Do You Sing In The Shower? When my family or suitemates aren’t home, then yes I usually belt it all out but usually, I stick to humming

Do You Collect Anything? Postcards and shot glasses. And llama things now too apparently

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Pool because it’s clean and I can see the bottom

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on the subject or the task but I almost always need some type of constant sound

Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Save it usually but I also tend to spend it all on a big impulse purchase

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? That’s why I’m here lmao

Do You Have Strange Dreams? Alright so I just started taking Zoloft and before it, my dreams would be weird but like unrealistic-weird, like having-a-bad-trip-weird. But since starting the med, my dreams have become realistically-weird, like sometimes I wake up and question if that all really happened

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? When I’m at school, yes, but when I’m home I usually just say fuck it because I’ll be back in it at least 8 more times

Do You Like To Read / Write? I love to read (fics, duh) but I do try my hand at writing but I struggle to finish anything and I’m terrified to post any of my work on here

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? YES and it’s just barely halfway into summer break and I’ve got a huge assignment due the first day back

Do You Get Homesick? Sometimes but I really do love my college life and wouldn’t change it

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? A mix but because of work, jeans most days

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my middle name

Do you believe in miracles? Yeah I think so

Do you have any special talents? I don’t think so but I’m good at taking care of kids. Sometimes my supervisor calls me the baby whisperer lol

Do you have any pets? Three cats and a dog and some succulents

Do you have any siblings? A little (half) brother and then technically I have four other half-siblings but they don’t know I exist

Do you believe in the paranormal? Absolutely. A big secret of mine….I actually could, and sometimes still can interact with spirits...Just call me Mrs. Spooky

Do you play any instruments? Nope but somehow I have managed to have a guitar and a keyboard in my possession. I do sing though and was in choir for 7 years

Do you have any crushes? Do celebrities or fictional characters count? If no, then no

Do you have any bad and/or anxious habits? I just have panic attacks a lot lmao and I tend to get really bitchy and mean when I’m anxious which I feel bad about but I can’t stop it

Do you believe in anything enough to fight for it? My right to marry whoever I want and have kids with whoever I want and be in control of my body. There’s probably more but those have been on my mind today

Do you keep a journal? Yeah a few actually but I lose motivation after a little bit and it takes so much to start it over

Do you like your age? Yes and no. I’m an adult which is cool and all but like….most of my friends are old enough to drink and it really pisses me off that I’m 9 months short of legally doing that. I’m super responsible and mature for my age like what will 9 months do to change that? It’s just stupid that I can join the military and go thousands of dollars into debt but I can’t have a glass of wine with my mom at a block party. UGH. American laws  S U C K

Do you like your own name? Yes, I love my name. When I was a kid I hated it, I didn’t get the sentiment of being named after someone. I finally got the sentiment around the time my grandma started getting sick. Now that she’s gone, I know just how blessed I am to carry on the legacy of my full name and try to make her proud.

Do you have any scars? Oh plenty, I’m really clumsy. My most notable is the one on my thumb from a freak childhood accident that nearly cut my entire thumb pad off. What a wild time

Do you have a strong accent? I’m from Michigan so apparently, I have a strong Midwestern accent but I don’t hear it. But anytime I’m on the phone/skyping with my friend from Missouri, she always points it out and laughs

Do you talk to yourself? Probably too much but also not in the way that I think is expected. I’m just constantly talking in my head like a constant tv interview about whatever the fuck I’m thinking about which 99% of the time is msr lol

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: All of the above

Beer or wine or neither: W I N E

When was your blog created: I knew this was the place to find the best gifs and fics and I wanted to be in the fandom more since I’m so new. Also, I wanted to try my hand at fic writing but I continue to lose the motivation or the courage to write/post

Last movie you’ve seen: Hotel Transylvania is pretty much on repeat in my house thanks to my little brother, so most likely it’s that

First job: My first job was customer service/field hand on a blueberry patch but my first legit legal job is/was at a daycare

Pet peeve: The first I can think of is slow walkers because I walk so fast because my legs are like a mile long

The color of your eyes: Green but they used to be giant sky-blue saucers

Night owl/day person: I don’t like getting up before 9 but past midnight I’m a grouch

Tattoos:  None yet, but I have two planned, it’s just a matter of money and timing

Like to cook: Not really but I can cook enough to survive which is typical for college

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 20 Give the last two lines: “Action: Today I will be kind to myself. Affirmation: This is who I am, and I feel glad to be me” - We

Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I cried while holding a baby at work because my shift is changing so things will be different and also my hormones are really out of whack right now

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Any shade of purple

Name One Movie That Made You Cry: Beaches is my go-to crying movie, same goes for Steel Magnolias (what a typical answer, I know)

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Cher, Reba, DD, Bette Midler or Straight No Chaser. Reba especially though because she’s going to be near me soon but it's a 21+ event and I’m nine months short of that so I’m really pissed I can’t go

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Carve pumpkins but I do a damn good job wrapping too

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I loved it even though it made me sick. There’s a park down the street from my campus so if I’m really upset, I’ll go down there and blast my headphones and swing until I forget what’s happening. It’s really therapeutic

Name Something That Relaxes You: I have some relaxing instrumental playlists and I’ll put one of them on, turn on my lavender oil diffuser, and hop in a nice hot shower (and the hot water at college doesn’t run out so I can pretty much be in there for like ever really) or I’ll watch a fav movie that tends to soothe me

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings give me life. The fluffier the better

When was the last time you cried? I’m sure I’ve cried today and just don’t remember. There’s literally not a day that goes by that I don’t shed tears but I literally cry so easy (This video or this video will make me cry almost instantly)

Where would you like to visit? I’ve wanted to visit Barcelona and California since I was a kid but in the past 4 years I’ve really wanted to visit New York and Greece

Describe your favorite people in the whole world? I’ll just sum all five of them up with they literally make me feel so warm, happy, and validated. I love them so much I could cry just thinking about them. And don’t get me started with Gillian because I do often cry when I think  about her I just really love her a lot ok

Who would be your ideal partner? Gillian Anderson, Dana Scully, or Fox Mulder of course. No, but I want someone who’s like me morals/humor wise

Most used phrase? Right now I’m really into saying “Yikes” but “god fucking dammit” leaves my mouth A LOT

Most used word? Probably “like” as much as I hate to admit it

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100% except when I’m with My People of course because I feel comfortable with them

Who was your first real crush? I had plenty of crushes during early school years but I think my first real one was on a school employee. Wowza I was head over heels for her and the very obvious knew-it-was-coming heartbreak hurt a lot

How many piercings do you have? Just my first holes in my ears but I’ve been thinking about getting my Helix pierced (upper portion of the ear)

How do you deal with stress? Uhhhh I panic first lol. I tend to listen to music—very specific songs that I know will drown out the anxiety/stress, or sometimes I’ll write what I’m feeling, go for a walk, read an absolute favorite fic in my list, watch x files, or I’ll just scroll through my thousands of pictures of GA lol

How many pillows do you sleep with? Three, sometimes four and then I have four accent pillows when I make my bed. Too many, as I’ve been told by everyone

Have you ever been to the hospital? Been to? Yes, plenty of times. Been in/admitted? No, thankfully

Have you ever met any celebrities? In 2016 I went to a rally for Hillary that Cher was speaking at so like…I was in the same room as her. AND THEN my friend shoved me up to her path as she was leaving and she touched my hand and I literally nearly passed out

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I am always deemed the mom friend so I’ll let you figure out that answer...

Have you ever drank underage? Yeah but nothing crazy. I just really like my wine. The craziest I’ve ever gotten was after I turned in that case study, I chugged half a bottle of wine (on an empty stomach), got bad heartburn, and then went to bed for like 14 hours

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Depends on the person, but I’d have to say no unless it’s Gillian/Scully/Stella

Are You A Picky Eater? I say yes, but compared to my brother and my uncle, no

Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Usually yes

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Just my momma, but I do see my *gag* father around my hometown every now and again

Are you religious? Not really. I used to go to church a few years back, and then went to another church which ruined a lot of stuff for me and then I went through some tough stuff that made me question, idk

Are you a good liar? I like to think so (I say that as if lying is something I should be proud of), at least to everyone but my mom because I swear I can pull off the best lie ever and she always sees right through me

Are you a clean or messy person? My home life is messy. My room is trashed but the things that are put away are organized. But life at college is completely opposite, my dorm is very clean and organized and I clean it top to bottom every weekend

If you made it this far, thank you for putting up with my crazy long first post, and I’m sorry that I practically vomited my thoughts into a jumbled mess but I wanted to share myself with you! 

[blameitonthebleach]

Hello, hello, hello~! I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of combined these two into an epic piece of angst, moving on, and new love ^^ I will be splitting this into two parts, because otherwise it would be too long, so please look forward to the next installment! Enjoy!

Part I

Today was the day. You would confess your feelings to the infamously stoic and emotionally constipated captain of the Sixth Division, and there were no ifs, ands, or buts to be had about it.

...Or so you told yourself.

You’d been arguing with yourself about it for the last month, and so far, nary had been done about it except berating yourself in the mirror over being such a coward. True, there was much to lose--his respect, for one thing--but the heart wanted what the heart wanted, and it relentlessly beat for the same man. It was obscenely improper to harbor such feelings for your Captain, but it was damn hard to resist when he looked like that. Being the Third Seat, however, had its perks, because aside from Renji and Rukia, you were the closest person to him at all times.

When Lieutenant Abarai was otherwise occupied with paperwork, general errands, or personal duties as a lieutenant, Captain Kuchiki always called on you to deliver messages, take care of annoying Hollows in the Human World, or finish up some of the more mundane papers Renji left unattended. You never complained, even when Byakuya--as you’d taken to calling him in your head, because he couldn’t call you out for disrespect that way--seemed annoyed, or grumpy, research and study proved that he’d sooner take it out on his lieutenant when he returned, or one of the more...eccentric captains, than on you.

The longer you were around him, the harder you fell, and you never really tried to stay away. You were the first person to volunteer to take on extra work, or train some of the Green Horns when your schedule was free, and no one batted an eye when you did, because as the Third Seat, wasn’t that your job? You liked your position well enough, and the work load never bothered you, but if the bonus was extra time with the captain? Well, who could say no? The only people to notice were, coincidentally, the only two who would notice something like that, Renji and Rukia. Rukia was supportive, and encouraged your crush, but Renji was on a whole different level. He was your number one cheerleader, and he was the only reason you’d managed to psych yourself up enough to finally do the deed.

To prepare for your inevitable confession, you performed your duties flawlessly. You usually did, to be sure, but you went out of your way to go the extra mile and assist Renji, scold some new recruits before Byakuya could hear about their less than stellar achievements of the day and get a hold of them, and even took it upon yourself to tidy up the front of the division--namely, sweeping when there was nothing else to be done. As you were sweeping, a shadow fell over your dust pile, blocking the sun from hitting you, and you blinked up only to find your captain standing there, evidently finished with his weekly captains meeting.

“Hello, Captain,” you beamed, pausing your cleaning enough to give him a light bow. You were shaking with nerves, trying to muster the courage to say the things you were dying to. They danced on the tip of your tongue, your mind ready to speak them... What came out, however, was: “Did the meeting go well?”

Captain Kuchiki, expressive as ever, only nodded briefly as he stood with his hands at his sides. “As expected, there was nothing noteworthy to speak of. It is relatively peaceful, for the time being, so these meetings are pointless.”

You giggled. Typical Byakuya, not one to waste energy on things that didn’t require it. You loved seeing this side to him to, when his guards were down just a fraction, so that you got to see the parts of his personality that he tended to bury when dealing with his subordinates, his rigidly traditional family, or anyone else for that matter. When he quirked an eyebrow at you, you could already hear what he was going to say before he said it.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, taking you in with a slow, deliberate gaze. Swallowing, you gripped the broom a little tighter, something of an anchor to ground yourself. “And why are you sweeping the barracks? That should be left for those with less substantial duties.”

“Oh, I finished all my work!” you replied hastily. “I didn’t think it would be good to just sit around doing nothing, so since I was free I took it upon myself. I get...antsy without something to do...”

When you stopped, you looked down, and there was a silence that followed. You could feel Byakuya gazing at you, steady, looking for holes in your statement, and upon finding none, exhaled lightly.

“It is...admirable,” he started, as if unsure of the right words to use, “that you would continue to work when you’ve finished for the day.” Smiling, you finally looked back up at his face. “However, that doesn’t mean the Third Seat of the Sixth Division needs to be out cleaning. I have some papers I need to go through, so if you’re that desperate for work, then come.”

Turning like the graceful noble he was, he walked past you silently, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face. Byakuya never asked for help. He was quite capable of dealing with the hefty workload that accompanied being a captain, and he never even asked Renji for assistance unless it was absolutely necessary. You couldn’t help but feel at least a tiny bit special, and the gentle fluttering in your chest pressed you forward.

“Captain!” you called to his back. He slowed, half-turning to meet your eyes with that signature somber expression.

“Yes, what is it?” His deep, even voice made the fluttering quite erratic, and you took a deep breath in an attempt to quell it.

“If possible,” you began, standing as straight and tall as possible, trying to exude the confidence you so desperately needed through your posture, “could I have a moment of your time after work?”

He didn’t answer right away, but there was something that crossed his face that gave you reason to pause. Fidgeting with the broom handle still within your grasp, processing what you hoped was warmth that made its way to your stoic captain’s features, you waited. Then, he closed his eyes on a sigh, and turned back around.

“Once we’ve finished the paperwork in my office,” he said smoothly, “I’ll give you as much time as you’d like.”

Having sent your heart into a state of elation, the detached nobleman continued his way inside the barracks while you blushed. You could barely form a coherent thought, and you were glad that there was no one around to watch you flounder for direction as you carried the broom just inside the door, and followed Byakuya to his office.

The paperwork wasn’t difficult so much as mundane, but you were both proficient and dutiful, so the stack dwindled to completion rather quickly. He gave you a little less than half of the stack to complete, partially due to the nature of the documents, you thought, and he dismissed you once you were finished to gather your belongings, and wait for him outside the barracks. You couldn’t help the giddy feeling in your gut at the idea that you were waiting for Captain Kuchiki to finish work. You weren’t really expecting too much, after all, if you were rejected it would be much easier to deal with without having anticipated something grandiose. Regardless, you savored the feeling of waiting for the one you liked after a satisfactory day of work, but you still thought you had somewhat of a chance.

Hearing the doors to the barracks open, it really struck you how lucky you were. It wasn’t often that the captain of any squad got out of work on time. They didn’t have a set schedule, as it were, but leaving their office as a reasonable hour was a rare occurrence. It almost, dare you think, felt like a date. Turning with a genuinely happy smile on your face, you faced your expressionless captain head on...and the words died on your tongue.

Byakuya had said he would as much time as you wanted when you were both finished, though he didn’t really look like he was in the mood to speak. Don’t be silly, you told yourself, Byakuya always looks like this. This is just his face... It did little to quell your nerves, however.

“G-Good evening, Captain,” you greeted, internally smacking yourself at the quiver in your voice. “Have you finished what you wanted?”

“I have finished enough,” he replied, tone flat. His gaze froze you in place, something in them always sent a shiver of want through you. “What is it that you wanted to talk about, ___?”

“W-Well...” Gathering your thoughts, you took a deep breath, then leveled him with your most confident gaze. “I want to preface this by saying that I have an immense amount of respect for your position, both has Captain of Squad Six, and as head of the Kuchiki Clan, so I mean no disrespect, but I’ve been mulling these feelings over for a while now. So, um, Captain...? I really like you, a-and not because of your position! It’s just, I love the way you care about your subordinates, even though it may not always look like it. I like the way you’re always sure about your convictions, and you never back down when it’s something important to you. You can be uptight, but no one can really blame you with the responsibilities you bare, and I think it’s all very...captivating, for lack of better word. Uh...”

Trailing off, you decided that that was quite enough of a confession, and it was time to see what his response was. When you finished your piece, you’d averted you eyes nervously, but now rose them to try and read Byakuya’s expression. His face, however, held nothing. It was the same face he used in every situation, whether tense or mirthful, betraying nothing about what he was thinking or feeling. If anything, it seemed even more closed off than usual, even his eyes showed no sign of acceptance---or rejection, for that matter--and your heart sank. It was a long shot, and you knew it, but you had dared to hope, and now you were paying for it. Although it looked like he was debating on what to respond, you knew the answer, and you didn’t want to hear it said aloud.

“A-Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that.” You bowed, plastering a small smile on your face. “You don’t need to respond or anything, I just... Thank you for listening. Excuse me!” 

With another curt bow, you used your Shunpo to get as far away as you could as fast as possible. Not that you Captain couldn’t catch if he wanted to, and you foolishly hoped that he might, but he didn’t. Of course he wouldn’t. He was a man with a position to look after, a man who didn’t have time for such trivial things as a lover, at least not now. It was no secret to you that Byakuya was once married, and you and your naivety had thought that maybe you could he would give you a chance. But you were wrong, you thought. 

By the time you reached your own quarters, it hit you that you were crying. Ah, yes, the familiar sting of heartbreak. Laughing self-deprecatingly at yourself, you let yourself feel miserable for the rest of the night, and resolved yourself to move on from this experience in the morning. For now? Girlfriends and ice cream were in order...

[synnefo-nefeli]

The Fun Author Ask Thing, could you share a WIP of Heard Your Heart Beating with us?

Alrighty kiddos, buckle up for the setup for the most self indulgent plot-point I am ever going to write. Please keep in mind, this is still very, very, very rough

___

//Come fix your prosecutor// read Athena’s text. Apollo groaned wondering what Klavier could have done in the hour Klavier had spent at the WAA.

He adjusted his tie in the mirror of his locker, checked to make sure that he no longer looked sweaty from his ride over from court, and shoved his cycling outfit into his locker along with his helmet.

He could hear laughing on the other side of the office’s front door so that was a good sign, he hoped, as he swiped his keycard into the lock.

“Herr Forehead has finally arrived from his battle with the courts!” Klavier beamed at him with his the typical smile that Apollo was now coming to call “on-stage-mode”. Klavier was sitting on the sofa next to Athena, coffee cups and tea biscuits between them on the table. He could hear Mr. Wright bustling in the office kitchenette.

“I am back. I survived Blackquill-“

“Oh is that why you biked over here? Simon didn’t offer to drive you?” Athena laughed, “how mean. He needs to learn to leave it in the courtroom.”

Apollo rolled his eyes, “Probably, but I am sure it has more to do with him needing to go down to the precinct and yell at the poor detective who sent him into court with an outdated autopsy report.”

Mr. Wright arrived from the kitchen, fresh pot of coffee in hand, “Wow. A defense attorney having an updated report instead of the prosecution? Never thought I’d see the day...”

Apollo flopped on the couch opposite Athena and Klavier, “Hey. Miracles do happen...and considering all out our court wins, we shouldn’t be too surprised that they exist.”

“Here. Here.” Klavier said amiably into his coffee.

“So... what’s this about me needing to fix ‘my prosecutor’?”

Klavier made an amused expression, “Ah, is that what I am called? Well I am honored to be Herr Justice’s”

Athena rolled her eyes, “Oh stop with the charm-“ she looked at Apollo, “he doesn’t want you to know that he’s never been to the Tragic Kingdom”

Apollo stared at Klavier, “Seriously?” Athena elbowed Klavier playfully, “Told you he would react like that”

Klavier sighed, “Is it really that big of a deal? Not going to a children’s amuse-“

“HOLD IT!” Apollo didn’t care that everyone about him flinched (“Indoor voice, Polly, jeeze”, Mr. Wright muttered”), “Disneyland is for everyone,” Apollo breathed, “you seriously haven’t gone? Ever? I mean...it’s only in Anaheim. That’s less than an hour without traffic from here-“

Mr. Wright handed Apollo a cup of coffee, “It’s been a while since ‘Mr. Disney Adult’’s shown his face at the office.”

“You say that as if you don’t have an annual pass too, Mr. Wright.”

Klavier appeared lost in the conversation; it was refreshing to see Mr. Tall, Blonde and Unflappable looking out of his depth, “Is it really a big deal that I haven’t?”

“Mm...not so much,” Mr. Wright said before Apollo could object, “well it wouldn’t be a big deal if you were hanging out with someone else, but I mean considering that you two have been spending a lot of time outside of court together, I think it’s more shocking that Apollo *hasn’t* dragged you down there already.

“You act like I go there all the time-“

“Says the person who has scheduled himself to come in late on days where there are morning annual passholder events,” Athena mused, “or how about the time you, Clay and Tracy, just decided to go to Disneyland after work because you wanted corndogs for dinner”

Across from him Klavier made a face, as if silently saying “Corndogs for dinner? Really? What are you five?”.

Apollo met ‘his prosecutor’s’ eyes, “Those corndogs are legendary, and the only ones I’ll eat.”

“He has a point there,” agreed Mr. Wright, “so I guess the big question is- how long before Klavier gets pulled into driving Apollo down to Anaheim?”

Klavier looked around the room at all of the other attorneys as if expecting for someone to tell him suddenly that this was all an act. Apollo meanwhile was mentally running through his calendar to figure out when he would have time to properly take Klavier to the park. There was so much to do at work-not to mention, he would have to prep Klavier for his first park visit.

“Do you like amusement parks?” Apollo asked Klavier. The blonde man simply shrugged, “I’ve only been to a few in my life. My family wasn’t really into things like theme parks; didn’t see the value in them as entertainment. And when I moved here, I just didn’t go-“

“Not even grad-night?” Athena asked, “Junie told me that’s what the student council is setting up for the seniors. It’s tradition. Heck, every high school in Southern California does a school trip there at least once.”

Klavier shrugged, “I graduated early, remember? I guess I could have gone to the ceremony with the class that was graduating that year, but I wanted to get meine badge so I went home as soon as I could to pass the bar in Germany.”

“There’s one in France!”

Klavier sighed, “If I asked meine family to do anything outside of museums and cultural experiences while we were in France, they would have left me at home.”

“Anyway,” Athena said, “If you’re going to hang with Polly, you’re going to have to go to the parks-“

Apollo felt his cheeks heat, “I mean if that’s not what you like to do for fun, you don’t have to-“

“Oh please,” Mr. Wright interrupted, “I can bet that you’ve been sitting here this entire time planning a trip for him.”

Apollo crossed his arms and sat back in defeat. Athena continued to regale Klavier with anecdotes of the WAA’s trips to the parks as well as Apollo’s impromptu visits, “Has he shown you his pin collection yet?” Athena said in a tone that was too close to the tone she liked to accuse him about his and Klavier’s relationship not being as platonic as Apollo let on.

//As if she doesn’t know the actual truth// Apollo grumbled, “Okay enough. Klavier already knows I am a nerd- he doesn’t need any more evidence about it”

“Ach you’re always cool, Herr Forehead,” Klavier smiled again in “on-stage mode”, which made Apollo decide to put Klavier in his place and show him what he was missing.

“When’s your birthday?” Apollo blurted.

Athena groaned, “Oh my god Apollo, haven’t you heard of Wikipedia?”

“I like that Herr Forehead doesn’t feel the need to research me, it makes a rock god like me feel practically human,” Klavier teased and then with an amiable grin, “May 23rd. However-I told you that on Valentines, don’t you remember?” He said at little too suggestively for Apollo’s comfort, “I’m hurt you don’t remember. Here I thought things that were shared during sleepovers were sacred,” he added a pout for good measure.

Out of the corner of his eye, Apollo saw Athena not-so-subtly pull out of her phone to text something, most certainly to Trucy. Great, he was not going to know peace from either of them for the foreseeable future. Although, Apollo appreciated that Athena had the grace to attempt to hide her grin. Whether or not Klavier was aware of what was happening next to him, Klavier only sipped at his coffee.

“So in three weeks. Great, guess what we’re doing to celebrate your 26th birthday,” Apollo announced.

“It’s on a workday.”

“Take off.”

“Don’t you have to work?” Klavier asked

Apollo turned to Mr. Wright, “Mr. Wright, may I have the 23rd off?”

“Of course. Just put it on the calendar.”

Apollo, having won the debate, smiled smugly at Klavier, “Get ready, we have a lot to do before then.”

Klavier looked genuinely confused, “Like what?!”

He was about to ask what Klavier’s favorite Disney movie was, but then Athena’s phone buzzed, “Simon’s here- he needs help bringing up the food...and Trucy says she wants to also go to Disneyland for Klavier’s birthday, I think that’s a good idea; what do you think, boss?,” she asked as she practically skipped out of the office.

Before Apollo could say anything about Athena or Trucy inviting themselves, Mr. Wright smiled and said, “You know what- unless something pressing comes up and Trucy doesn’t have any projects or tests at school, I think the agency needs a mental health day. Maybe Miles and Simon need one too,” he remarked walking towards his office to, Apollo imagined, call his fiancé.

Apollo would have enjoyed Klavier’s genuinely flummoxed expression, except that he remembered how Klavier, despite his celebrity status, didn’t like to draw attention too himself unless it was in court or on stage- and especially not in public. It was the reason Klavier hadn’t shown up to Clay’s funeral after all. He looked at Klavier feeling guilty for putting his friend on the spot,

“Sorry, if you don’t want to- we don’t have to-“

“Nein, nein,” Klavier said with his genuine smile, “you all are so passionate about it, now I have to experience it”

“Are you sure? I didn’t even ask if that’s how you wanted to spend your birthday-I just kinda got caught up in it.”

Klavier shrugged, “Honestly, considering that I usually spent the last few dragged to stuffy VIP lounges of clubs I didn’t care about with people who as it turned out, cared less about me- I think this may be a gut change of pace.”

Well that made him feel better...and a bit sad for Klavier, “I’ll make sure you have a good time and we won’t be overwhelmed. A lot of celebrities go to Disneyland, and they don’t get mobbed- people are pretty respectful of celebrities having their time in the parks.”

“You sound as if you are familiar.”

“Clay...worked there for a summer, celebrities would come all the time as park guests. And aside from maybe helping a celebrity escape a crowd, they don’t give anyone special treatment unless they’ve paid for a guided tour-“

“Oh- are we not doing that, Herr Forehead?”

Apollo snorted,“Hell no, you’re going to stand in line for Space Mountain like the rest of us plebes.” Also I’m not about to suggest we spend $800 an hour for a theme park tour...

Klavier’s laugh was enough to make Apollo feel better and better about commandeering Klavier’s birthday. He was going to look forward these next few weeks in getting Klavier ready for his first time at the park. The thought of movie nights made Apollo feel a bit warm inside. Warm in a way that he hadn’t felt since Klavier had comforted him during his own birthday.

The office door opened, Athena holding it open so that Simon could come through with the large box that contained their dinner. Apollo braced himself for any barbed words from Athena’s prosecutor, considering how the day’s court proceedings had gone. Instead Simon just incredulously regarded his co-worker with,

“You’ve seriously never been to Disneyland, Gavin-dono?”

[littlehastingsliar]

Hunted- Pack imagine- Part 2

A/N: OMG IT’S A PART 2. It’s been around 2 years, I never thought I’d post this but here it is! Unrequested but I know some people wanted it  I just home I do it justice xxx

part 1 is here

Words: 1687

It was not as dark inside as it was outside, somehow the moonlight seemed to refract to enter every corner of the room. You were stood in a hallway, a grand staircase hugging the edges of the wall as it slowly spiralled up to the first floor.

Your eyes followed it upwards, noticing the faded red carpet, the shoots and vines growing out of the cracks in the wooden panels. Everything seemed neglected and old. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, cobwebs coating the majority of it. It looked a dull gold, fitting with the rest of the room. You couldn’t help but wonder what this entrance had been like when it was in use. Stiles walked a little further ahead towards the light switch. He flicked it a couple of times. Nothing happened.

“I don’t think it works” he stated with his eyebrows raised, his finger still moving the switch up and down.

“I wouldn’t expect it to, everything is so old.” You replied. Even the wallpaper had faded, peeling of the wall in various places to reveal the plaster underneath.

Your head shot up as small pieces of dust fell down from the ceiling. It wouldn’t have surprised you if the dust wasn’t accompanied with a low thud.

“hello.” Stiles called out, making his way to the stairs. Grabbing his arm, you pulled him into you.

“Are you crazy?!” you hissed, your voice only a bit louder than a whisper. He ignored you, slipping out of your grasp and jogged up the stairs. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You felt like you were being watched and you weren’t about to find out why, so without a second thought you followed him.

It was a lot dimmer when you made it to the top where stiles was standing. He seemed glued to the spot, his eyes focused on something at the end of the corridor. You peered over his shoulder, noticing a small flickering yellow light seep through the bottom of one of the doors.

“Do you think there’s someone in there?” he asked, trying to sound less scared than he actually was. Nodding your head, you walked in front of stiles.

“You better get your baseball bat ready.” You ordered, as your fingers curled around your pocket knife. You placed your ear against the door, yet silence was the only thing on the other side. Reluctantly, stiles opened the door, his bat raised behind him, ready to swing.

With wide eyes you stepped in wielding the pocket knife defensively in front of you. Rattled, you spun around, checking every possible area of the room. It was empty.

“I don’t understand.” Stiles spoke in a low hum, his stance returning to normal. You held a finger out, silencing him. Just because you couldn’t see anything didn’t mean nothing was there, you told yourself, deciding it was better to be extra cautious than vulnerable. You opened every cupboard and checked every possible hiding place. Nothing. As you made sure it was clear, stiles had begun searching through the scattered notes that lay on a writing desk by the window.

“Look at these.” He called to you, holding up a photograph. The photograph was of a stern young couple dressed in Victorian style clothes. “I doubt they still live here.” he smiled quirkily. You took the photo from him, holding it up to the old oil lamp that was the source of light in the room. You tilted the page, noticing how it was indented. Someone had written something down with this underneath it.

“There’s an indent.” you notified stiles. “I can’t make it out in this light, it’s too dim.” Stiles rummaged through the desk while you flipped the card over. “But there’s writing on the back.” Stiles perked up, stopping what he was doing, urging you to carry on.

‘Dear-

We’re writing to inform you of the death of your son. His death was quick and peaceful. We’re sorry for your loss.’

“It’s a bit morbid.” You commented, taking a deep breath in.

“Just a bit. ‘writing to inform you of the death of your son’… maybe those gloomy people on the front killed him.” You gave stiles an unimpressed look. The situation you found yourself in was not the right time to make jokes about death. But you brushed it off, continuing your search.

“Someone had to have been in here. Maybe even the person who was by our tents” you leant over the writing desk and looked out of the window, the glass too dirty to see clearly through.

“Yeah oil lamps don’t burn for years. It had to have been lit recently and it wasn’t one of the pack.” Stiles agreed. You used your sleeve to wipe the dirt, giving you a clearer view. You could see the faint outline of a hill, most likely where stiles first saw the house. “Nothing here looks recent.” He concluded, giving up the search. You stared out the window a second longer, like you were on the lookout for something. You swivelled around to look at stiles who had paced over behind you. You leant against the desk, your eyes trailing along the edges of the room.

“It’s not dusty.” You said to yourself. Stiles folded his arms, asking what you meant. “The rest of the house is covered in dust. The window was dirty but everything else in here looks reasonably clean.”

“Reasonably used.” He added with a worried expression. You looked at each other for a few seconds, the unnerving feeling that sent shivers down your spine was back. “Shall we go? I think we should go. Yeah. Now. Let’s go now.” He urged, frightened, he gripped his baseball bat so tightly his knuckles turned white, dragging you by the sleeve of your top behind him. When you made it out of the room he closed the door gently. You scowled at him, opening you mouth to speak when he continued to drag you. Except he didn’t drag you back to the stairs, he dragged you down the corridor, straight past the stairs into another room.

“Wha…”

“Sshh” he whispered. You listened out intently, shaking you head when there was no sound. However you could see the sheer terror in stiles’ eyes and decided to comply. You must’ve been stood there for five minutes. Maybe ten, you didn’t know. Finally, stiles decided it was safe enough to whisper. “I saw someone out of the window. They were by the trees. I don’t know if they saw us.”

Wide eyed, you let out a shaky breath. Your throat became dry, an ache radiating down your neck as you swallowed. You lifted your head up, rubbing your forehead.

“Are you sure?” you quizzed in disbelief. You wanted to be one hundred percent sure before you made a break for it.

“I wasn’t imagining thing.” Stiles feigned offence.

“I’m just making sure. I mean we’re tired and things are happening and it scary.”

“I saw someone y/n.” you could hear in his tone of voice that he was getting annoyed. Stiles was hardly ever genuinely annoyed with you. You nodded your head, believing him. ‘We have to be cautious anyway’ you told yourself. Another few minutes flew by and reluctantly you both decided it was time to leave, not knowing where exactly you were going. You just knew you wanted to get away from this place.

You crept down the stairs until you reached the bottom. There was no sign of anyone. The entrance was more open and there were patches of mud on the floor that weren’t there when you entered. You both noticed and sprinted out of the front door.

“Let’s go round the back and as far away as possible” you panted, already headed down to the side of the house.

And so you kept running through the woods, until you had to break for air.

“I think… that’s far enough.” Stiles gasped, crouching on his knees. You nodded tiredly, the moon hanging low in the night sky. The stars were vividly lighting up the sky, no light around to block the view.

“It’s beautiful” you admired, the first time you’d felt calm since you woke up.

“It is. That’s a positive thing I suppose.”  He grinned at your optimism during the situation. You were glad you got paired off with stiles, even if you could’ve been going around with a heightened sensed, strong, fast werewolf.

“There has to be some other buildings nearby. Who lives in a house miles away from anything with no roads or paths.” You had caught your breath, your heart thumping less violently behind your ribs.

“Maybe there was a path. I mean it was dark. Who knows? Let’s just head as far away as possible. We have to come across something sooner or later. Plus the others could follow our scent.” Stiles struggled to catch his breath, the adrenaline still pumping fiercely around his veins.

“Back at the house...” you began, thinking more clearly now than you were before. Stiles nodded at you to continue. “It’s entirely possible we dragged in that mud when we entered.” Stiles chuckled, shaking his head.

“I like that. Let’s go with that. That’s better logic than I was going to go with.” You started to laugh too. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the sheer terror of the night that had sent you into hysterics. “Fingers crossed the others smell us out soon.”

“Well only Scott and Liam. Unless Kira and Malia are running around here somewhere.” Your face dropped as you came to the realisation that anything could’ve happened to Kira and Malia.

“I completely forgot. So much has been going on. We have to find them.” Stiles’ expression turned sour as well, guilt evident in his eyes.

“We need to keep going forward, maybe the others have found them. Maybe we will find them ahead. They can defend themselves. They’ll be ok.” You were trying to convincing yourself just as much as you were trying to convince stiles.

“forward  it is.”

[biowarenerd]

Chapter Three: Secret Memories

Traveling cross country was not fun to say the least. The group of four had left Haven two days ago as they traveled southeast towards the Hinterlands. The Hinterlands, which was the area where most of the conflict between mages and Templars was being fought, was about a week away from Haven if on horseback. A week and a half if you walked. So naturally they walked. When Max suggested they ride, Varric suggested he ride a foot up his behind. So the matter was settled: they walked. They would walk for a couple hours then take a ten minute break then continue. They hiked from dawn till a little before dusk. Doing so, they made good time. It was hard slow work but they made do. During their travels they would often chat together. Varric and Max would joke around with each other while Solas led the way, Cassandra close behind him. The two rogues in the group found it amusing to pester her as they walked. They teased her endlessly but never past the point of it being irksome. Max wasn't used to trudging through the dirt all day so he often lagged behind the others. Varric was in his element obviously due to his years with Hawke and Solas was light on his feet despite the large pack he had on his back. And Cassandra didn't even break a sweat as they hiked even with all that armor on. The woman was like a well muscled machine, never stopping for a test or breaking out a sweat. Quite frankly, it was incredible how she could go on and on for what seemed like forever. And that alone was worthy of praise. But Max was Max so it didn't sound like high praise when he voiced his thoughts to her as they walked through a grassy plain around the evening. She scowled at him. "I'm like a what?" She asked angrily. He heard Varric chuckling quietly to himself behind them. Max had told Cassandra that he admired how she was like a bronto: dedicated to the task given to her and strong enough to finish the task. But she had apparently taken it as an insult. Though why, Max was not sure. "You know? Like a bronto? Big and strong and..." He slowly trailed away as she she looked at him with a dangerous light in her eyes. He coughed nervously. "You do realize you just called the Seeker 'fat', right?" Varric said. Max's mouth turned into an 'o' shape as what he said sunk in. He went to put his hand on her shoulder and apologize but she shrugged it off and quickened her pace until she was out in front. Solas smiled. "It seems you have offended Lady Cassandra." "Looks that way." Varric said cheerfully. "I'm just glad she has someone else to hate besides me now." "She doesn't hate me. She barely knows me well enough to have an opinion." Max said. Varric smiled at him. "Trust me. She doesn't need an opinion to hate you. The Seeker just hates everybody. So don't go putting on airs, okay?" "No promises." The four hiked for another mile or so before making camp. Solas prepared a meal while Varric set up sleeping quarters. He put Cassandra's bedroll a ways away from the others: one out of respect for her privacy and two for a joke. Meanwhile Max and the Seeker went to gather firewood in the surrounding trees. As they walked, Max tried to make amends with her for earlier. She reached down to pick up a nice bundle of kindling, content to just do the job in silence, when he suddenly spoke up. "Forgive me." She looked up, startled. "What?" He looked at her, his usual humorous sometimes cocky smile gone. In its place was a grim serious look. He repeated himself. "Forgive you for what?" She asked him. "For offending you earlier today. I didn't mean to cause offense and I no intention to. I spoke without thinking and I am sorry." He sounded so sincere and so upset he had offended her, it actually surprised her. He was genuinely sorry that he had potentially hurt her feelings and that came as a great surprise to her. In all actuality, he hadn't caused offense. She had just feigned hurt to mess with him but here he was apologizing for something that was not a big deal. She had forgotten about it. But obviously he had not. And it had bugged him enough to make him want no need, to say he was sorry. And that caught her off guard. She was used to nobles being rude just to be rude. Used to them saying hurtful things then forgetting about them and not caring if they had offended. But she realized then that this noble was not like other nobles. He was noble not just in title. She realized she had been lost in thought and that he had finished speaking. His hand was outstretched in peace. She was jumped back into the here and now. "I'm sorry, what?" She asked, feeling dumb for fading out. Hand still out, he said, "I'm sorry and I hope that we can remain courteous to each other." His blinding smile returned. "I hope this does not cause a stir in our blooming relationship." She tried to keep a straight face as she shook his hand in peace but she couldn't manage it. The corners of her mouth twitched in a grin. *Yes!* Max thought to himself in victory at making her smile. "Is that what you call it? A blooming relationship? I thought it was you teasing me and me ignoring you?" She said with a small smile. He grinned at her. "That too." She looked at him. "Well let's try to avoid that in the future." "No promises." He noticed later that he had already said that to Varric earlier that day. ********************** Later that night after dinner, Cassandra decided to test how well Max was with his stilettos. They were sitting around the magical campfire that Solas had magicked up when Cassandra stood up, brushing herself off. She pointed at Max and said sternly, "Right. You come with me. We are going to do some training. Let's see how good you are with those knives of yours." Max pointed to his chest. "Me as in me?" She nodded. Max stretched and yawned tiredly. "I was actually hoping to turn in early tonight." "You can turn in early after we train." "But why now?" Max whined. Cassandra shrugged. "Why not now?" "Because it's late and I'm tired." "So?" Mark sighed. He realized he would not change her mind so he thought to just get it over with. "Fine. I'll train with you. But we don't have any practice weapons and I don't know about you but I don't want to get up early tomorrow morning to get nicks out of my actual weapons." "I can take care of that." Solas chimed in. He castes a spell on their weapons which made it so that they would not get nicked or scratched during use. With that done, Max and Cassandra went a ways from the campfire where they had ample room to spar. Varric and Solas watched from their sitting positions by the fire. Max massaged his shoulders, loosening them up. Cassandra chose not to. She was already all set to go but Max was still sore from the days journey. After a minute of stretching, he was ready. The two circled each other. Cassandra had her shield raised slightly and her sword was in raised in the ready position. Max twirled his two stilettos expertly in his hands, anxious to get started. He was eager to see how Cassandra would cope facing an opponent using daggers. Plus, he was eager to display his skill with the weapons. Before they started, Max bowed saying, "I'm afraid I'm not as good a fighter as you are so please try not to shatter me." Cassandra grinned in response. She found that people who didn't brag about their skills were often very skilled. And Max was no exception in his own way. She had noticed the natural ease and grace he had twirled his daggers with. She knew that he was better than he was letting on. Much much better. For his part, Max was thinking on the same plane. He had seen her in action against all sorts of demons as they had made their way to the Breach so he was cautious if a bit nervous to be sparing with such an able opponent. But he wasn't worried about losing. Or winning their spar for that matter. He considered learning about her fighting style was a victory in itself. He nodded to her as a sign that he was ready to begin then sidestepped as she lunged at him. This normally was not her fighting style but she was anxious to see him in action with weapons he was comfortable with. She was shocked that he had dodged her attack effortlessly. Most people she sparred with were taken down by her first blindingly fast strike. But he had simply stepped to the side. She risked a quick glance. He smiled pleasantly at her. All that did was anger her. She took a step back with her shield up. He circled her, trying to find a chip in her impenetrable defense. He would feign an attack every so often to keep her on her toes. He continued to do so until she growled at him. "Are we going to keep dancing around each other or are we going to fight?" He grinned. "I was fine just gracefully dancing around each other but if you'd rather fight then I won't be the one to disappoint you." He went to feign an overhand swipe then quickly changed tactics. He shoved his other stiletto forward and made contact with her chest. She gasped as the force of the blow knocked the wind out of her lungs momentarily. *So much power behind a simple dagger thrust. He knows what he is doing all right.* she thought. Max let her catch her breath back then closed the gap between them. With lightning strikes he swiped at her. It was all she could do to keep her shield up to protect her from the terrible onslaught of attacks. As suddenly as the attacks started, they ceased. But some sixth sense warned her to duck. She ducked her head and felt the dagger slice through the air that her head had been in just seconds before. If she had been anyone else, her head would have been sliced off. She leaped back. Then her eyes met his. And they were filled with pure terror. Terror at almost killing her or something entirely different, she did not know. But she had never seen terror like she saw in his startling blue eyes; before nor since. His stilettos fell from his limp arms. He sank to the ground, rocking back and forth. Varric and Solas had seen what had happened and had come to stand beside her. She took a step towards him. He instantly backed up, still terrified. "Herald? Are you alright?" Solas asked kindly. Max said nothing. Solas noticed that he seemed distant. Max breathed shakily. For a split second he was back there, fighting for his life against terrible monstrous creatures besides his sister. And in that split second, he had mistook Cassandra for an abomination. Through a haze introduced by the adrenaline coursing through his body during the fight, he had tried to kill her. He whimpered softly, not noticing he was not alone, "Maker. Just make the nightmare stop. I just want it to end. Maker make it stop. I just..." His voice trailed off as he cried softly, staring into the distance. Reliving the fear and pain of an old memory. Varric had experience dealing with people with demons. Literally and figuratively. He backed up, knowing it was better to let the man be for a while. What he needed was alone time. Solas took a moment to study the suffering man before he went back to the campfire as well. Already he had decided to walk in Max's dreams to find out what was plaguing him so and to help him if possible. Cassandra studied Max intently. He was shaking violently and sobbing uncontrollably. She was often told that she was a cold emotionless person. That maybe true at times but no one can stand and watch a grown man suffer alone. She started to go to him but felt Varric grab her hand, pulling her away from the whimpering man. She shoved him away. "He needs help." Varric shook his head. "No you can't help him now. Obviously he is in a very dark place right now. What he needs now is sleep. Sleep will work away the shock. He did almost take your head off, remember? He needs some time alone." Varric led her back to the campfire. Later as she laid on her bedroll, she saw him slowly climb onto his. He still had that terrified look on his face but he was no longer sobbing or shaking. He looked at her and gave her a weak smile. It was a smile of a broken man who knew he was broken and no longer cared. It was the smile of a man who lost faith. Faith in humanity. *what could have happened to make a man as cheerful as he was, broken and afraid? What happened to him in the past?* The next morning, Max was roused from sleep by Solas. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep. The constant nightmares saw to that. Solas eyed him carefully. "I know." He said gently. Max nodded in acknowledgement. Max stood and put on his coat and strapped his stilettos to his back. The others had already stripped camp and we're waiting for him. Varric grinned at him as he approached the group. Cassandra looked worried. When he approached, she stepped forward with a hand out, not sure whether or not to touch his arm. "Are you well?" She asked him, concerned. He gave a strained grin. "I'm fine, thanks for the concern. Just...bad memories. I'm sorry for last night. Just add that to the pile of mistakes I've made." "Something is obviously troubling you. Do wish to talk about it?" "No I don't want to talk about my personal life." He snapped at her. Then he sighed tiredly. "Let's just get going. We got to reach Mother Giselle soon. Preferably before she is killed by some rebel mages or rogue Templars." Cassandra nodded but he could tell that the matter was not settled. Not in the slightest. The group made good time as they made their way around Lake Calenhad, making a large arc around Redcliffe. Better to be careful considering that their spies had reported that a lot of mages had taken refuge there. Max remained distant and unresponsive throughout the day. He didn't even joke around with Varric. His normal sarcastic people person personality was stowed away until further notice. For the next couple days, he distanced himself from Cassandra in an attempt to prevent the bad memories from resurfacing. Naturally, it did not help. He still had not forgiven himself for what he had almost done. Distancing himself from everyone was how he coped with it all. Like the nobles back home, he wore a mask that the public saw but under that mask was his real broken self. And he was doing a shoddy job at hiding it. Cassandra tried to confront him on the matter. To try to tell him that she had already forgiven him. It was an accident and it was in the past. She could tell it was causing him unneeded pain and she wanted to help him. But she couldn't even do that because every time she made towards him, he would retreat. This went on for another couple days before Cassandra had had enough. One night at the campfire, she grabbed his hand and marched him away from the others. Max protested but she wasn't having it. She needed him to know she forgave him. She stopped walking and turned to hold him by the shoulders. She looked him in the eyes and said,"Max, stop torturing yourself about our sparring session. What you did was an accident and I forgave you days ago. Now let it go." She ordered. "No. It's not the close beheading. It's something entirely different." "Then what is it?" "I can't tell you." "Why not? Just tell me what bothers you and we can work it out." "I can't tell you!" Max snapped. "I can't tell you because if I do, I'll go back there. And I can't go back there. I won't. Never." "Go back where?" She asked gently. Max breathed shakily. "To the Tower." "Now please. Can we drop it? Otherwise I'll turn back into a sobbing mess and I don't want to let anyone else see that." Cassandra nodded. Max immediately went off to bed. Cassandra went ask to the campfire and sat next to Solas. Varric looked up from his meal. "What'd you and Max talk about?" He asked. "Presumably about his experience at the Circle Tower." Solas said. Cassandra jumped, confused. "You know he was in a Circle?" Varric also looked confused. "But he isn't a Mage nor a Templar? Why would he be in a Circle Tower?" Solas answered. "Visiting someone important to him. I believe our Herald was at the Ferelden Circle Tower during the Fifth Blight. I think he was one of the few to survive the towers takeover by the blood Mage, Uldred. I also think he may be suffering from 'reliving' his memories of his time there. Sparring with you so intensely may have resparked those buried memories and that is why he tried to almost beheaded you." "Then why will he not talk about it? Is talking about it not healthier than keeping it to himself?" Solas shrugged. "Would you be willing to share something that personal with someone you only met a week ago?" Cassandra bit her lip. "Good point. But what should we do to help him?" "Nothing for now. He will share of his experiences when he is ready. We should not force him to." Cassandra stomped her foot. "But we should do something! He's hurting on the inside." Varric chuckled. "Are you showing concern for our Herald, Seeker?" "Shut up dwarf

[airoasis]

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Proper come on the advisors gazing tv all night time it can be a gigantic wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve obtained these crispier ok this is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the same go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I believe we’d ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn ok i’m a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna price a fortune to fix where we going to get the money believe Google how do we elevate some cash mm-hmm once more i do know uh-huh aha are you considering what i am thinking I believe though Ted sure haha but now wait i’m no longer certain I imply it’s a enormous step and where are we gonna get long past i will be talking about oh wait a minute now sincerely I might were fascinated by something specific you concept we will rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this is not a Bruce Willis film I used to be thinking more alongside the lines of a rattles absolutely how does a prized or you may have got me there Ted I believe we are able to get something how does the foundations of the diocese have been allowed or a surprise each couple years it is go Ted we ought to move them over here that is printing Latifah waking them up oh there it is father father Tonio’s get back come on Zoey we’re gonna have got to lose you once more do not eat that for the no it is vacant water and i’ve been looking up the report and the island hasn’t been given whatever to wrassle due to the fact that these two baggage of cold in 1964 I believe we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese oh that’s a massive production oh that is distinctive thanks very a lot your grace yes thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no look then lot’s of success toodles we’re being given a automobile a vehicle that’s a remarkable prize head what’s now not that distinguished father Finnegan got one last 12 months you understand him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s nonetheless going oh sure certainly he danced across the usa final yr new york to los angeles he was once mugged about once each 15 miles excellent with out the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you feel of her sure are you certain you is not going to have a cop it’s a prize in our little one raffle right simply the drop on your hand then one is like this going i’ll take the tray all right Horlicks i’ll put the assess line in case you want some extra as soon as you’ll find in well-lined seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash cleaning soap they’re dead corabeth it have got to had been when you hit that fell on the bike do not ask any individual who is okay anyway I so i’m getting up dad shouldn’t just take that out with the top of a hammer i am looking that box over there Oh carrying on with to do this I simply must the opposite direction it’s no use Ted you’ll be able to in no way get it undoubtedly correct I idea I had it there a even as in the past you already know you are watching o.K. Like an simpler to maintain banging away you’re a perfectionist head you know it’s now not too bad quantity appear so no we can’t supply that away the prize ok why do not you sleep on it see how you feel within the morning maybe you are proper with simply destroyed a car that is worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the indicators we’re useless the bitch will kill us we’re dead we’re dead oh due to Allah I traditionally wanted that but yeah do not ever do it once more how what are we going to can we might run away no they only find us again they continually do all right little bit that other part that has the auto on the dancing priest geared up him yes and it should be the same style of automobile and the whole thing how could we get him to present it to us possibly maybe we would simply get a lender’s ah but when anyone wins it in the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stay with me what if what if we prepared the rasuls so that we surprise then we could convey the auto again ooh that’ll be terribly mistaken Ted i do not feel we must do that it would not be dishonest quite to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in such a way that the return involves the benefactors instead than the beneficiaries mmm Google critically hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the vehicle he’s going to kill us and homicide is a horrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we without a doubt be saving a bishop soul reasonable adequate and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the identical color adult you mind Jack right here I shall be extra oh hiya come on in will you become a member of me however be right down to holo i am not what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the only way to praise God you know and it maintains your face is purple all proper then is there anything on the phone about taking a mortgage at a auto yes you’d be doing us a exceptional favor oh don’t be foolish simply handle it don’t give it away in a big gamble or whatever and anyone said they saw it on television not too long ago in a documentary you might be in Belfast for anything that wasn’t me that was once a younger fella ripped off the thought don’t love talking about good I better be heading on thanks again for no hindrance Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you leave a mark within the window are we there but Google it’s a long pressure you need to go for a whilst sure everything’s exceptional our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing again there father ingesting for the like acid your do this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem possibly you will have to have rested lifter it’s a long pressure you you have got slightly sleep okay okay we Laszlo think the air and the night shift taking it by way of until 3:00 dr.Dale good morning sirs this is John Morgan under John Morgan morning exhibit it can be a stunning day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes no longer for a moment there quite huh let’s go by means of it again I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical number on them say eleven eleven to one and that is effortless to consider hit and then after I’m doing the draw will be certain that you’ve that number right so we will not must alternate at all good that is genuinely how we’re cheating do it o.K. K ok so let me get this straight you can be wearing the Hat no no I won’t be wearing any hats the tickets shall be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I will not be supplying you with any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that’s my quantity and are available up and acquire the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah here’s the sandwiches for tonight continuously a menace I forgot to do my scan what experiment is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and take a look at it and if it doesn’t meet my necessities I put a number of them in the bin they’re pleasant correct so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp excellent simply I can’t look forward to tonight like that I promote a load of tickets first about I promote more than you do Ted hmm no this can be a bit love it’s somewhat like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you are Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper completed it can be like NASA how do you hold monitor of it all oh sure it can be rather simple rather you consider here we have now the two turntables which I manipulate from the mixing guest here this because of this which you could flip between files if you want to get just a little of an historical jam going you realize well I tell you i will twist what documents we received for us documents and there is reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the educate did you look at any documents just a second uh keep on a 2d I would have one have one open the automobile cup of tea father going how would you wish to be the primary to buy a raffle ticket oh seem – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and i think I maybe in with a fine threat today shut up stupid that is how many takes just one ah all right I best need one my lucky number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that eleven what consistently been fortunate for me and we’re out of eleventh I thought I was once your first patron yes sure but come what I consider this one got here without eleventh I said of wash i’ll give you a number ten and a quantity one and that laptops could have 19 have them both for 50p no i don’t consider so father i’d higher have my money back that is joy for cherishing proof sorry father I do not need you understand something Jack’s obtained to at all times respond the person oh god I better go on rescue me be gone mad no he’s satisfactory they’re simply having a chat but Dougal men and women probably the most boring priest in the world he was once working in Nigeria just a few years in the past and he aroused from sleep one morning to seek out that everybody within the village it has adequate of them and long past off in a huge boat sank after mine there eaten by means of alligators we run the gas off the electricity and the electrical energy off the fuel and we saved 200 pounds a year however then just a few weeks later god i’m going to never omit it now we bought a new boiler are you all proper there Fozzie i’ll just turn and follow the guy there by way of the object there last 12 months how did you fare with yours I do not know what considering the fact that you understand they’ve no morals and and no respect for human life but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have the finest assortment of boilers in the world and incorporate Canada I simply want to borrow Jack from the second proper oh god I keep in mind the primary time I noticed that boiler no gorgeous i do not think you want to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted seeing that you could purchase them down the store you know any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot the entire way as much as 4 hundred nine I think it is and if you want more they send off for them and now you send them again in an envelope now you know the entire state-of-the-art factor now rectangular of 4 corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the historical envelopes oh yes yeah no round envelopes for me no means hold that was once a manufacturer title ye had concern with a job Oh tickets for the raffle any person anyone that knows the right way to deposit kick it come over right here thank you very much thank you sorry not the wait people the situation with the historic disco luckily though I’ve acquired a few historic associates to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be k observed the report all right okay how about the tickets you keep bees you are for 4 kilos gambling heads blowing me Father I mean grandfather each of them scan drive the Delta pending to the title Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i will write them go ahead first-class how many while you take two thousand come on right here look at I always do your assess no I I can’t say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no appear you you maintain them you must be throwing around that variety of cash and i need one more ticket book this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i will hardly ever keep a straight face again there prime of town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the most important stuff the raffle the last rasa-lila that was once very fascinating when you consider that the people who ran the raffle actually wanna so it is not distinct for that to happen okay and the profitable number is quantity eleven quantity eleven number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they arrive up on stage what’s that you tape the entire work you must profitable quantity what work out of Bob were very ancient father drove over wire bought on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching at the ticket the wrong way up i do know what a splendid night we’ve had we’ve raised sufficient cash to restore the roof and we have had a pleasant time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our national Anthem shake i will see you subsequent week please please an extra risk to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a fort pity priest no they they they have you every method you already know I was in the a a there you recognize for a while and and the insurance was once very pricey I all right I had to crash the car simply to get the money back you recognize that they had witnesses who stated they’d see me advised towards the wall you understand there was once talk of me going to penal complex for a while yourself mr. John terrible information it’s father Finnegan he is very well overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day however he just could not discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a heart assault no are there to any extent further chip fix doesn’t mean we are able to hold the carrot head Coogan’s that is a terrible factor to claim the man is simply pull wait a 2nd you are right we can further take off how’d you get the air fresh story ah Oh God blame the auto now not the brand new car tell me the truth have you ever been consuming sure tell me from the starting the place did you drive chops please nook stores hello Oh shucks tow trucks distinct possibly there may be whatever we will salvage it is now not about head sure god I suggestion to be a lot worse than that Oh bollocks the residence will not be that dangerous oh well at the least you continue to have the rattle money for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so since of that low stress will customarily be seeing much more rain as a minimum except July or almost certainly except August God Almighty imagine anybody being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was once rigged head I think we’ll be all right so long as the tree does not fall by way of the roof for a second there I notion a section of recommendation my father gave to me now this not only refers to lagging however all forms of insulation he stated do not ever at no no wait though it might consistently perpetually no no it used to be on no account yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favorite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the primary one there now that’s the sound of a fridge the second second one that that’s the sound of a person humming yeah girl buzzing III knew a lady once but she died soon after now in case you push me to it i would have to say my favorite colour was once grey so blue a smooth blue with a hint of gray now Lauren orange that is an orange or Matlin i have an extension put on the apartment now and i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you

[batterymonster2021]

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Proper come on the advisors gazing tv all night time it can be a gigantic wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve obtained these crispier ok this is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the same go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I believe we’d ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn ok i’m a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna price a fortune to fix where we going to get the money believe Google how do we elevate some cash mm-hmm once more i do know uh-huh aha are you considering what i am thinking I believe though Ted sure haha but now wait i’m no longer certain I imply it’s a enormous step and where are we gonna get long past i will be talking about oh wait a minute now sincerely I might were fascinated by something specific you concept we will rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this is not a Bruce Willis film I used to be thinking more alongside the lines of a rattles absolutely how does a prized or you may have got me there Ted I believe we are able to get something how does the foundations of the diocese have been allowed or a surprise each couple years it is go Ted we ought to move them over here that is printing Latifah waking them up oh there it is father father Tonio’s get back come on Zoey we’re gonna have got to lose you once more do not eat that for the no it is vacant water and i’ve been looking up the report and the island hasn’t been given whatever to wrassle due to the fact that these two baggage of cold in 1964 I believe we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese oh that’s a massive production oh that is distinctive thanks very a lot your grace yes thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no look then lot’s of success toodles we’re being given a automobile a vehicle that’s a remarkable prize head what’s now not that distinguished father Finnegan got one last 12 months you understand him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s nonetheless going oh sure certainly he danced across the usa final yr new york to los angeles he was once mugged about once each 15 miles excellent with out the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you feel of her sure are you certain you is not going to have a cop it’s a prize in our little one raffle right simply the drop on your hand then one is like this going i’ll take the tray all right Horlicks i’ll put the assess line in case you want some extra as soon as you’ll find in well-lined seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash cleaning soap they’re dead corabeth it have got to had been when you hit that fell on the bike do not ask any individual who is okay anyway I so i’m getting up dad shouldn’t just take that out with the top of a hammer i am looking that box over there Oh carrying on with to do this I simply must the opposite direction it’s no use Ted you’ll be able to in no way get it undoubtedly correct I idea I had it there a even as in the past you already know you are watching o.K. Like an simpler to maintain banging away you’re a perfectionist head you know it’s now not too bad quantity appear so no we can’t supply that away the prize ok why do not you sleep on it see how you feel within the morning maybe you are proper with simply destroyed a car that is worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the indicators we’re useless the bitch will kill us we’re dead we’re dead oh due to Allah I traditionally wanted that but yeah do not ever do it once more how what are we going to can we might run away no they only find us again they continually do all right little bit that other part that has the auto on the dancing priest geared up him yes and it should be the same style of automobile and the whole thing how could we get him to present it to us possibly maybe we would simply get a lender’s ah but when anyone wins it in the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stay with me what if what if we prepared the rasuls so that we surprise then we could convey the auto again ooh that’ll be terribly mistaken Ted i do not feel we must do that it would not be dishonest quite to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in such a way that the return involves the benefactors instead than the beneficiaries mmm Google critically hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the vehicle he’s going to kill us and homicide is a horrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we without a doubt be saving a bishop soul reasonable adequate and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the identical color adult you mind Jack right here I shall be extra oh hiya come on in will you become a member of me however be right down to holo i am not what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the only way to praise God you know and it maintains your face is purple all proper then is there anything on the phone about taking a mortgage at a auto yes you’d be doing us a exceptional favor oh don’t be foolish simply handle it don’t give it away in a big gamble or whatever and anyone said they saw it on television not too long ago in a documentary you might be in Belfast for anything that wasn’t me that was once a younger fella ripped off the thought don’t love talking about good I better be heading on thanks again for no hindrance Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you leave a mark within the window are we there but Google it’s a long pressure you need to go for a whilst sure everything’s exceptional our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing again there father ingesting for the like acid your do this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem possibly you will have to have rested lifter it’s a long pressure you you have got slightly sleep okay okay we Laszlo think the air and the night shift taking it by way of until 3:00 dr.Dale good morning sirs this is John Morgan under John Morgan morning exhibit it can be a stunning day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes no longer for a moment there quite huh let’s go by means of it again I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical number on them say eleven eleven to one and that is effortless to consider hit and then after I’m doing the draw will be certain that you’ve that number right so we will not must alternate at all good that is genuinely how we’re cheating do it o.K. K ok so let me get this straight you can be wearing the Hat no no I won’t be wearing any hats the tickets shall be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I will not be supplying you with any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that’s my quantity and are available up and acquire the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah here’s the sandwiches for tonight continuously a menace I forgot to do my scan what experiment is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and take a look at it and if it doesn’t meet my necessities I put a number of them in the bin they’re pleasant correct so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp excellent simply I can’t look forward to tonight like that I promote a load of tickets first about I promote more than you do Ted hmm no this can be a bit love it’s somewhat like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you are Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper completed it can be like NASA how do you hold monitor of it all oh sure it can be rather simple rather you consider here we have now the two turntables which I manipulate from the mixing guest here this because of this which you could flip between files if you want to get just a little of an historical jam going you realize well I tell you i will twist what documents we received for us documents and there is reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the educate did you look at any documents just a second uh keep on a 2d I would have one have one open the automobile cup of tea father going how would you wish to be the primary to buy a raffle ticket oh seem – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and i think I maybe in with a fine threat today shut up stupid that is how many takes just one ah all right I best need one my lucky number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that eleven what consistently been fortunate for me and we’re out of eleventh I thought I was once your first patron yes sure but come what I consider this one got here without eleventh I said of wash i’ll give you a number ten and a quantity one and that laptops could have 19 have them both for 50p no i don’t consider so father i’d higher have my money back that is joy for cherishing proof sorry father I do not need you understand something Jack’s obtained to at all times respond the person oh god I better go on rescue me be gone mad no he’s satisfactory they’re simply having a chat but Dougal men and women probably the most boring priest in the world he was once working in Nigeria just a few years in the past and he aroused from sleep one morning to seek out that everybody within the village it has adequate of them and long past off in a huge boat sank after mine there eaten by means of alligators we run the gas off the electricity and the electrical energy off the fuel and we saved 200 pounds a year however then just a few weeks later god i’m going to never omit it now we bought a new boiler are you all proper there Fozzie i’ll just turn and follow the guy there by way of the object there last 12 months how did you fare with yours I do not know what considering the fact that you understand they’ve no morals and and no respect for human life but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have the finest assortment of boilers in the world and incorporate Canada I simply want to borrow Jack from the second proper oh god I keep in mind the primary time I noticed that boiler no gorgeous i do not think you want to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted seeing that you could purchase them down the store you know any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot the entire way as much as 4 hundred nine I think it is and if you want more they send off for them and now you send them again in an envelope now you know the entire state-of-the-art factor now rectangular of 4 corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the historical envelopes oh yes yeah no round envelopes for me no means hold that was once a manufacturer title ye had concern with a job Oh tickets for the raffle any person anyone that knows the right way to deposit kick it come over right here thank you very much thank you sorry not the wait people the situation with the historic disco luckily though I’ve acquired a few historic associates to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be k observed the report all right okay how about the tickets you keep bees you are for 4 kilos gambling heads blowing me Father I mean grandfather each of them scan drive the Delta pending to the title Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i will write them go ahead first-class how many while you take two thousand come on right here look at I always do your assess no I I can’t say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no appear you you maintain them you must be throwing around that variety of cash and i need one more ticket book this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i will hardly ever keep a straight face again there prime of town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the most important stuff the raffle the last rasa-lila that was once very fascinating when you consider that the people who ran the raffle actually wanna so it is not distinct for that to happen okay and the profitable number is quantity eleven quantity eleven number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they arrive up on stage what’s that you tape the entire work you must profitable quantity what work out of Bob were very ancient father drove over wire bought on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching at the ticket the wrong way up i do know what a splendid night we’ve had we’ve raised sufficient cash to restore the roof and we have had a pleasant time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our national Anthem shake i will see you subsequent week please please an extra risk to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a fort pity priest no they they they have you every method you already know I was in the a a there you recognize for a while and and the insurance was once very pricey I all right I had to crash the car simply to get the money back you recognize that they had witnesses who stated they’d see me advised towards the wall you understand there was once talk of me going to penal complex for a while yourself mr. John terrible information it’s father Finnegan he is very well overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day however he just could not discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a heart assault no are there to any extent further chip fix doesn’t mean we are able to hold the carrot head Coogan’s that is a terrible factor to claim the man is simply pull wait a 2nd you are right we can further take off how’d you get the air fresh story ah Oh God blame the auto now not the brand new car tell me the truth have you ever been consuming sure tell me from the starting the place did you drive chops please nook stores hello Oh shucks tow trucks distinct possibly there may be whatever we will salvage it is now not about head sure god I suggestion to be a lot worse than that Oh bollocks the residence will not be that dangerous oh well at the least you continue to have the rattle money for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so since of that low stress will customarily be seeing much more rain as a minimum except July or almost certainly except August God Almighty imagine anybody being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was once rigged head I think we’ll be all right so long as the tree does not fall by way of the roof for a second there I notion a section of recommendation my father gave to me now this not only refers to lagging however all forms of insulation he stated do not ever at no no wait though it might consistently perpetually no no it used to be on no account yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favorite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the primary one there now that’s the sound of a fridge the second second one that that’s the sound of a person humming yeah girl buzzing III knew a lady once but she died soon after now in case you push me to it i would have to say my favorite colour was once grey so blue a smooth blue with a hint of gray now Lauren orange that is an orange or Matlin i have an extension put on the apartment now and i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you

[batterymonster2021]

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Proper come on the advisors gazing tv all night time it can be a gigantic wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve obtained these crispier ok this is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the same go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I believe we’d ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn ok i’m a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna price a fortune to fix where we going to get the money believe Google how do we elevate some cash mm-hmm once more i do know uh-huh aha are you considering what i am thinking I believe though Ted sure haha but now wait i’m no longer certain I imply it’s a enormous step and where are we gonna get long past i will be talking about oh wait a minute now sincerely I might were fascinated by something specific you concept we will rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this is not a Bruce Willis film I used to be thinking more alongside the lines of a rattles absolutely how does a prized or you may have got me there Ted I believe we are able to get something how does the foundations of the diocese have been allowed or a surprise each couple years it is go Ted we ought to move them over here that is printing Latifah waking them up oh there it is father father Tonio’s get back come on Zoey we’re gonna have got to lose you once more do not eat that for the no it is vacant water and i’ve been looking up the report and the island hasn’t been given whatever to wrassle due to the fact that these two baggage of cold in 1964 I believe we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese oh that’s a massive production oh that is distinctive thanks very a lot your grace yes thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no look then lot’s of success toodles we’re being given a automobile a vehicle that’s a remarkable prize head what’s now not that distinguished father Finnegan got one last 12 months you understand him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s nonetheless going oh sure certainly he danced across the usa final yr new york to los angeles he was once mugged about once each 15 miles excellent with out the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you feel of her sure are you certain you is not going to have a cop it’s a prize in our little one raffle right simply the drop on your hand then one is like this going i’ll take the tray all right Horlicks i’ll put the assess line in case you want some extra as soon as you’ll find in well-lined seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash cleaning soap they’re dead corabeth it have got to had been when you hit that fell on the bike do not ask any individual who is okay anyway I so i’m getting up dad shouldn’t just take that out with the top of a hammer i am looking that box over there Oh carrying on with to do this I simply must the opposite direction it’s no use Ted you’ll be able to in no way get it undoubtedly correct I idea I had it there a even as in the past you already know you are watching o.K. Like an simpler to maintain banging away you’re a perfectionist head you know it’s now not too bad quantity appear so no we can’t supply that away the prize ok why do not you sleep on it see how you feel within the morning maybe you are proper with simply destroyed a car that is worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the indicators we’re useless the bitch will kill us we’re dead we’re dead oh due to Allah I traditionally wanted that but yeah do not ever do it once more how what are we going to can we might run away no they only find us again they continually do all right little bit that other part that has the auto on the dancing priest geared up him yes and it should be the same style of automobile and the whole thing how could we get him to present it to us possibly maybe we would simply get a lender’s ah but when anyone wins it in the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stay with me what if what if we prepared the rasuls so that we surprise then we could convey the auto again ooh that’ll be terribly mistaken Ted i do not feel we must do that it would not be dishonest quite to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in such a way that the return involves the benefactors instead than the beneficiaries mmm Google critically hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the vehicle he’s going to kill us and homicide is a horrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we without a doubt be saving a bishop soul reasonable adequate and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the identical color adult you mind Jack right here I shall be extra oh hiya come on in will you become a member of me however be right down to holo i am not what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the only way to praise God you know and it maintains your face is purple all proper then is there anything on the phone about taking a mortgage at a auto yes you’d be doing us a exceptional favor oh don’t be foolish simply handle it don’t give it away in a big gamble or whatever and anyone said they saw it on television not too long ago in a documentary you might be in Belfast for anything that wasn’t me that was once a younger fella ripped off the thought don’t love talking about good I better be heading on thanks again for no hindrance Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you leave a mark within the window are we there but Google it’s a long pressure you need to go for a whilst sure everything’s exceptional our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing again there father ingesting for the like acid your do this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem possibly you will have to have rested lifter it’s a long pressure you you have got slightly sleep okay okay we Laszlo think the air and the night shift taking it by way of until 3:00 dr.Dale good morning sirs this is John Morgan under John Morgan morning exhibit it can be a stunning day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes no longer for a moment there quite huh let’s go by means of it again I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical number on them say eleven eleven to one and that is effortless to consider hit and then after I’m doing the draw will be certain that you’ve that number right so we will not must alternate at all good that is genuinely how we’re cheating do it o.K. K ok so let me get this straight you can be wearing the Hat no no I won’t be wearing any hats the tickets shall be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I will not be supplying you with any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that’s my quantity and are available up and acquire the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah here’s the sandwiches for tonight continuously a menace I forgot to do my scan what experiment is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and take a look at it and if it doesn’t meet my necessities I put a number of them in the bin they’re pleasant correct so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp excellent simply I can’t look forward to tonight like that I promote a load of tickets first about I promote more than you do Ted hmm no this can be a bit love it’s somewhat like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you are Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper completed it can be like NASA how do you hold monitor of it all oh sure it can be rather simple rather you consider here we have now the two turntables which I manipulate from the mixing guest here this because of this which you could flip between files if you want to get just a little of an historical jam going you realize well I tell you i will twist what documents we received for us documents and there is reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the educate did you look at any documents just a second uh keep on a 2d I would have one have one open the automobile cup of tea father going how would you wish to be the primary to buy a raffle ticket oh seem – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and i think I maybe in with a fine threat today shut up stupid that is how many takes just one ah all right I best need one my lucky number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that eleven what consistently been fortunate for me and we’re out of eleventh I thought I was once your first patron yes sure but come what I consider this one got here without eleventh I said of wash i’ll give you a number ten and a quantity one and that laptops could have 19 have them both for 50p no i don’t consider so father i’d higher have my money back that is joy for cherishing proof sorry father I do not need you understand something Jack’s obtained to at all times respond the person oh god I better go on rescue me be gone mad no he’s satisfactory they’re simply having a chat but Dougal men and women probably the most boring priest in the world he was once working in Nigeria just a few years in the past and he aroused from sleep one morning to seek out that everybody within the village it has adequate of them and long past off in a huge boat sank after mine there eaten by means of alligators we run the gas off the electricity and the electrical energy off the fuel and we saved 200 pounds a year however then just a few weeks later god i’m going to never omit it now we bought a new boiler are you all proper there Fozzie i’ll just turn and follow the guy there by way of the object there last 12 months how did you fare with yours I do not know what considering the fact that you understand they’ve no morals and and no respect for human life but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have the finest assortment of boilers in the world and incorporate Canada I simply want to borrow Jack from the second proper oh god I keep in mind the primary time I noticed that boiler no gorgeous i do not think you want to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted seeing that you could purchase them down the store you know any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot the entire way as much as 4 hundred nine I think it is and if you want more they send off for them and now you send them again in an envelope now you know the entire state-of-the-art factor now rectangular of 4 corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the historical envelopes oh yes yeah no round envelopes for me no means hold that was once a manufacturer title ye had concern with a job Oh tickets for the raffle any person anyone that knows the right way to deposit kick it come over right here thank you very much thank you sorry not the wait people the situation with the historic disco luckily though I’ve acquired a few historic associates to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be k observed the report all right okay how about the tickets you keep bees you are for 4 kilos gambling heads blowing me Father I mean grandfather each of them scan drive the Delta pending to the title Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i will write them go ahead first-class how many while you take two thousand come on right here look at I always do your assess no I I can’t say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no appear you you maintain them you must be throwing around that variety of cash and i need one more ticket book this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i will hardly ever keep a straight face again there prime of town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the most important stuff the raffle the last rasa-lila that was once very fascinating when you consider that the people who ran the raffle actually wanna so it is not distinct for that to happen okay and the profitable number is quantity eleven quantity eleven number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they arrive up on stage what’s that you tape the entire work you must profitable quantity what work out of Bob were very ancient father drove over wire bought on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching at the ticket the wrong way up i do know what a splendid night we’ve had we’ve raised sufficient cash to restore the roof and we have had a pleasant time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our national Anthem shake i will see you subsequent week please please an extra risk to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a fort pity priest no they they they have you every method you already know I was in the a a there you recognize for a while and and the insurance was once very pricey I all right I had to crash the car simply to get the money back you recognize that they had witnesses who stated they’d see me advised towards the wall you understand there was once talk of me going to penal complex for a while yourself mr. John terrible information it’s father Finnegan he is very well overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day however he just could not discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a heart assault no are there to any extent further chip fix doesn’t mean we are able to hold the carrot head Coogan’s that is a terrible factor to claim the man is simply pull wait a 2nd you are right we can further take off how’d you get the air fresh story ah Oh God blame the auto now not the brand new car tell me the truth have you ever been consuming sure tell me from the starting the place did you drive chops please nook stores hello Oh shucks tow trucks distinct possibly there may be whatever we will salvage it is now not about head sure god I suggestion to be a lot worse than that Oh bollocks the residence will not be that dangerous oh well at the least you continue to have the rattle money for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so since of that low stress will customarily be seeing much more rain as a minimum except July or almost certainly except August God Almighty imagine anybody being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was once rigged head I think we’ll be all right so long as the tree does not fall by way of the roof for a second there I notion a section of recommendation my father gave to me now this not only refers to lagging however all forms of insulation he stated do not ever at no no wait though it might consistently perpetually no no it used to be on no account yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favorite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the primary one there now that’s the sound of a fridge the second second one that that’s the sound of a person humming yeah girl buzzing III knew a lady once but she died soon after now in case you push me to it i would have to say my favorite colour was once grey so blue a smooth blue with a hint of gray now Lauren orange that is an orange or Matlin i have an extension put on the apartment now and i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you

[airoasis]

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Proper come on the advisors gazing tv all night time it can be a gigantic wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve obtained these crispier ok this is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the same go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I believe we’d ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn ok i’m a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna price a fortune to fix where we going to get the money believe Google how do we elevate some cash mm-hmm once more i do know uh-huh aha are you considering what i am thinking I believe though Ted sure haha but now wait i’m no longer certain I imply it’s a enormous step and where are we gonna get long past i will be talking about oh wait a minute now sincerely I might were fascinated by something specific you concept we will rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this is not a Bruce Willis film I used to be thinking more alongside the lines of a rattles absolutely how does a prized or you may have got me there Ted I believe we are able to get something how does the foundations of the diocese have been allowed or a surprise each couple years it is go Ted we ought to move them over here that is printing Latifah waking them up oh there it is father father Tonio’s get back come on Zoey we’re gonna have got to lose you once more do not eat that for the no it is vacant water and i’ve been looking up the report and the island hasn’t been given whatever to wrassle due to the fact that these two baggage of cold in 1964 I believe we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese oh that’s a massive production oh that is distinctive thanks very a lot your grace yes thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no look then lot’s of success toodles we’re being given a automobile a vehicle that’s a remarkable prize head what’s now not that distinguished father Finnegan got one last 12 months you understand him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s nonetheless going oh sure certainly he danced across the usa final yr new york to los angeles he was once mugged about once each 15 miles excellent with out the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you feel of her sure are you certain you is not going to have a cop it’s a prize in our little one raffle right simply the drop on your hand then one is like this going i’ll take the tray all right Horlicks i’ll put the assess line in case you want some extra as soon as you’ll find in well-lined seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash cleaning soap they’re dead corabeth it have got to had been when you hit that fell on the bike do not ask any individual who is okay anyway I so i’m getting up dad shouldn’t just take that out with the top of a hammer i am looking that box over there Oh carrying on with to do this I simply must the opposite direction it’s no use Ted you’ll be able to in no way get it undoubtedly correct I idea I had it there a even as in the past you already know you are watching o.K. Like an simpler to maintain banging away you’re a perfectionist head you know it’s now not too bad quantity appear so no we can’t supply that away the prize ok why do not you sleep on it see how you feel within the morning maybe you are proper with simply destroyed a car that is worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the indicators we’re useless the bitch will kill us we’re dead we’re dead oh due to Allah I traditionally wanted that but yeah do not ever do it once more how what are we going to can we might run away no they only find us again they continually do all right little bit that other part that has the auto on the dancing priest geared up him yes and it should be the same style of automobile and the whole thing how could we get him to present it to us possibly maybe we would simply get a lender’s ah but when anyone wins it in the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stay with me what if what if we prepared the rasuls so that we surprise then we could convey the auto again ooh that’ll be terribly mistaken Ted i do not feel we must do that it would not be dishonest quite to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in such a way that the return involves the benefactors instead than the beneficiaries mmm Google critically hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the vehicle he’s going to kill us and homicide is a horrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we without a doubt be saving a bishop soul reasonable adequate and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the identical color adult you mind Jack right here I shall be extra oh hiya come on in will you become a member of me however be right down to holo i am not what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the only way to praise God you know and it maintains your face is purple all proper then is there anything on the phone about taking a mortgage at a auto yes you’d be doing us a exceptional favor oh don’t be foolish simply handle it don’t give it away in a big gamble or whatever and anyone said they saw it on television not too long ago in a documentary you might be in Belfast for anything that wasn’t me that was once a younger fella ripped off the thought don’t love talking about good I better be heading on thanks again for no hindrance Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you leave a mark within the window are we there but Google it’s a long pressure you need to go for a whilst sure everything’s exceptional our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing again there father ingesting for the like acid your do this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem possibly you will have to have rested lifter it’s a long pressure you you have got slightly sleep okay okay we Laszlo think the air and the night shift taking it by way of until 3:00 dr.Dale good morning sirs this is John Morgan under John Morgan morning exhibit it can be a stunning day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes no longer for a moment there quite huh let’s go by means of it again I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical number on them say eleven eleven to one and that is effortless to consider hit and then after I’m doing the draw will be certain that you’ve that number right so we will not must alternate at all good that is genuinely how we’re cheating do it o.K. K ok so let me get this straight you can be wearing the Hat no no I won’t be wearing any hats the tickets shall be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I will not be supplying you with any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that’s my quantity and are available up and acquire the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah here’s the sandwiches for tonight continuously a menace I forgot to do my scan what experiment is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and take a look at it and if it doesn’t meet my necessities I put a number of them in the bin they’re pleasant correct so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp excellent simply I can’t look forward to tonight like that I promote a load of tickets first about I promote more than you do Ted hmm no this can be a bit love it’s somewhat like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you are Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper completed it can be like NASA how do you hold monitor of it all oh sure it can be rather simple rather you consider here we have now the two turntables which I manipulate from the mixing guest here this because of this which you could flip between files if you want to get just a little of an historical jam going you realize well I tell you i will twist what documents we received for us documents and there is reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the educate did you look at any documents just a second uh keep on a 2d I would have one have one open the automobile cup of tea father going how would you wish to be the primary to buy a raffle ticket oh seem – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and i think I maybe in with a fine threat today shut up stupid that is how many takes just one ah all right I best need one my lucky number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that eleven what consistently been fortunate for me and we’re out of eleventh I thought I was once your first patron yes sure but come what I consider this one got here without eleventh I said of wash i’ll give you a number ten and a quantity one and that laptops could have 19 have them both for 50p no i don’t consider so father i’d higher have my money back that is joy for cherishing proof sorry father I do not need you understand something Jack’s obtained to at all times respond the person oh god I better go on rescue me be gone mad no he’s satisfactory they’re simply having a chat but Dougal men and women probably the most boring priest in the world he was once working in Nigeria just a few years in the past and he aroused from sleep one morning to seek out that everybody within the village it has adequate of them and long past off in a huge boat sank after mine there eaten by means of alligators we run the gas off the electricity and the electrical energy off the fuel and we saved 200 pounds a year however then just a few weeks later god i’m going to never omit it now we bought a new boiler are you all proper there Fozzie i’ll just turn and follow the guy there by way of the object there last 12 months how did you fare with yours I do not know what considering the fact that you understand they’ve no morals and and no respect for human life but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have the finest assortment of boilers in the world and incorporate Canada I simply want to borrow Jack from the second proper oh god I keep in mind the primary time I noticed that boiler no gorgeous i do not think you want to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted seeing that you could purchase them down the store you know any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot the entire way as much as 4 hundred nine I think it is and if you want more they send off for them and now you send them again in an envelope now you know the entire state-of-the-art factor now rectangular of 4 corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the historical envelopes oh yes yeah no round envelopes for me no means hold that was once a manufacturer title ye had concern with a job Oh tickets for the raffle any person anyone that knows the right way to deposit kick it come over right here thank you very much thank you sorry not the wait people the situation with the historic disco luckily though I’ve acquired a few historic associates to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be k observed the report all right okay how about the tickets you keep bees you are for 4 kilos gambling heads blowing me Father I mean grandfather each of them scan drive the Delta pending to the title Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i will write them go ahead first-class how many while you take two thousand come on right here look at I always do your assess no I I can’t say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no appear you you maintain them you must be throwing around that variety of cash and i need one more ticket book this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i will hardly ever keep a straight face again there prime of town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the most important stuff the raffle the last rasa-lila that was once very fascinating when you consider that the people who ran the raffle actually wanna so it is not distinct for that to happen okay and the profitable number is quantity eleven quantity eleven number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they arrive up on stage what’s that you tape the entire work you must profitable quantity what work out of Bob were very ancient father drove over wire bought on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching at the ticket the wrong way up i do know what a splendid night we’ve had we’ve raised sufficient cash to restore the roof and we have had a pleasant time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our national Anthem shake i will see you subsequent week please please an extra risk to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a fort pity priest no they they they have you every method you already know I was in the a a there you recognize for a while and and the insurance was once very pricey I all right I had to crash the car simply to get the money back you recognize that they had witnesses who stated they’d see me advised towards the wall you understand there was once talk of me going to penal complex for a while yourself mr. John terrible information it’s father Finnegan he is very well overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day however he just could not discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a heart assault no are there to any extent further chip fix doesn’t mean we are able to hold the carrot head Coogan’s that is a terrible factor to claim the man is simply pull wait a 2nd you are right we can further take off how’d you get the air fresh story ah Oh God blame the auto now not the brand new car tell me the truth have you ever been consuming sure tell me from the starting the place did you drive chops please nook stores hello Oh shucks tow trucks distinct possibly there may be whatever we will salvage it is now not about head sure god I suggestion to be a lot worse than that Oh bollocks the residence will not be that dangerous oh well at the least you continue to have the rattle money for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so since of that low stress will customarily be seeing much more rain as a minimum except July or almost certainly except August God Almighty imagine anybody being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was once rigged head I think we’ll be all right so long as the tree does not fall by way of the roof for a second there I notion a section of recommendation my father gave to me now this not only refers to lagging however all forms of insulation he stated do not ever at no no wait though it might consistently perpetually no no it used to be on no account yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favorite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the primary one there now that’s the sound of a fridge the second second one that that’s the sound of a person humming yeah girl buzzing III knew a lady once but she died soon after now in case you push me to it i would have to say my favorite colour was once grey so blue a smooth blue with a hint of gray now Lauren orange that is an orange or Matlin i have an extension put on the apartment now and i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you