#contentloadingandstuff thoughts

[contentloadingandstuff]

Reading time 📖

It's not often I share my hobbies outside of writing but, since it's fairly quiet as I work on multiple fics simultaneously, I might as well.

As you see, I've bought myself two works - the controversial "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov in English and "Maus" by Art Spiegelman, which is the more controversial text. I'll explain why shortly.

Let's start with "Lolita" since it's easier to talk about. I bought this book after listening to the video analysis by the creator Horses (link to the video here) to develop my own opinion about it. The book is both a memoir and statement for the judge written by the protagonist, convicted of abducting and assaulting a twelve year old girl - the titular "lolita". It has been misinterpreted as praise or glorification of pedophilic tendencies, but it is - just as "Crime And Punishment" by Fiodor Dostojewski but without the retribution - an analysis of a criminal's mind.

I'm looking forward to the lecture of Humbert Humbert's attempt to justify his behaviour to the world, the opposite of what I feel towards "Maus".

My payment of the 80 zł ( around 20$, 19€ or 16£) I spent on this collection of comics was a reluctant one. The premise is harmless enough (for lack of a better term). This set of comics describes the life and experiences of the author's father during the Holocaust, with a twist - here, the characters are portrayed as animals based on their ethnicity. The Jews are mice, and the Germans - cats. Simple idea of predator and prey, of the murder and the victim. But there are also other nationalities. Americans are noble dogs, the Swedes are reindeer, the Gypsies are moths, the British are fish (though I'm not sure why) and their southern neighbours are - as comedic tradition dictates - frogs.

What about the Poles then? They are swine.

What's more, the book's antipolonism shows time and time again. Poles are portrayed as antisemitic, cooperative towards the German occupants, impulsive, violent and cruel. There is little positive mention of them, and Spiegelman himself admitted that his father had little good to say about his countrymen and did nothing to give the nation justice. The incidents of wartime and post-war antisemitism are not portrayed as single crimes punishable by law, but as ordinary and acceptable occurrences.

Normally I enjoy delving into the annals of the second world war's horrific history, but unlike the other books I've read so far, this one seems to be written with a political intent, debatable as it is. Maus seems to share the same contemptible niche in Polish culture as Neighbours and Golden Harvest, alongside all of the other detestable excuses of historical journalism by Jan T. Gross. What these works share is their - subliminal or not - distrust and borderline disgust towards Poles as a nation. I am planning to review both books when I'm done with them here on the blog (regardless of whether there is any interest in it), so I will save my "ammunition", as they say, for then. I will however mention that the nation is, in terms of Righteous Amongst The Nations awards, the leader with exactly 7177 awards granted, the Netherlands second in with 5910. This is telling just by itself, doesn't it? Regardless, every experience is valuable, even if the author's intentions are questionable.

Again, I know this is far more serious than my usual content, consisting of silly x reader fics, but I find them interesting enough to mention. I hope you don't mind!

[whumpty-dumpty]

I saw this whump alphabet by @contentloadingandstuff and was looking through my own tags for whump words. I didn't have any for the letters X and Y so I thought maybe there are German whump words I could use. So I asked ChatGPT and look what it suggested 😂😂:

My favourites are

1. Xylophone accident

6. Knock-kneed fall

8. Xylit suffocation

And

3. Yoga accident

5. Ytong crash

7. Yucca cut injury

[contentloadingandstuff]

An Important Notice About Asks

Hello, everybody!

The asks on contentloadingandstuff are somewhat renowned for being many. Very many. How many exactly? Take a look.

Now, when I opened my asks back in summer of last year, a kind soul asked me if I was alright after getting a hundred asks, because if they were in my place, they would be freaking out about how to get them all done. I told them that I was alright. After almost a whole year I can definetely say that I am, in fact, not alright.

Recently, as you might have picked up on in my non-fic posts, I have been suffering the worst case of writer's block yet, coupled with a hissy and agressive impostor syndrome.

Why am I writing this when I should be doing asks? Look at this, you're making OC content while two hundred people are waiting for their fics to be done. These kinds of statements rummage around in my mind on a daily basis, wearing me out and making me stress about something that, in theory, should be fun.

So I decided to start anew. To refresh my thoughts, stop dwelling on the same ideas for months on end, and primarily - stop stressing about getting things written. To give the kind of attention I provide for each fic for every one of the 221 ideas, I would have to be here for ages to come. I would have to make content, not write.

And so, I will give myself a Tabula Rasa - a clean slate. As axious as it will leave me, I will need to drop the backlog of asks to catch my breath and hopefully climb out of my writing depression.

I don't want any of you wonderful people taking this to heart, alright? Your ideas are good, they are perfectly valid, but looking at the same selection of WIPs and stressing about getting them done is draining for me.

Hopefully, this will help lift off the pressure and expectations I have imposed upon myself and help me find more motivation to write, as the content loop I have created for myself has more than exhausted me.

And so, a new season of asks is now open. Ask for anything, everything, or nothing - whichever you prefer, dear reader. If you want to be as precise as possible, you can include the format you think would be best for your idea (refer to this poll for the format types). Here are the rules too, so you don't have to make a thorough investigation of the blog to find them.

As usual, thank you for putting up with me! You're wonderful!

[contentloadingandstuff]

Pollus: Kofi ☕

A year ago I told myself: "If I ever end up with a thousand people reading my nonsense and liking it at that, I might consider becoming more official". Well, I thought it would never happen, but here we are. My notorious worrying about the whole "the bigger you are the harder you fall" thing, it does feel... nice that my fics are good enough to attract this much attention, deserved or not.

And so, to stay true to my words, I should consider setting up a Kofi.

An important thing to mention is that a potential Kofi won't have anything like subscriptions or similiar monthly stuff, or paid commissions. Cyclical support would put pressure on me in an area that I want to keep strictly as 'fun', and paid commissions would take away the freedom of writing what I want in exchange for a work-like experience of producing content rather than creating it. It would also limit the chances of others getting their ideas made, which wouldn't be fair. So in short, only tips. Not monthly support or commissions.

All that said, I'd like to ask you, the reader, for your opinion first.

This poll will be here for a week. If you want to expand on your opinion, then feel free to do so in the comments - feedback is greatly appreciated!

[contentloadingandstuff]

*Gently slides a can of Soda towards you* Love your stuff. *moonwalks into the shadow realm*

Thank you!

A nice refreshment goes a long way on a long endeavour like this. I'll not waste a drop.

*cracks open the can* It has been some time hasn't it? In the grand scheme of things, seven months isn't that long. This blog is fairly young in comparison to the majority of other recognisable pages in the genshin fanfiction community. If I can go as far as to say contentloadingandstuff is recognisable. Well, it really isn't. There's plenty fish in the sea, and I'm just a small roach. Except roaches don't live in salty waters.

*takes a sip* Eh. Fair enough.

Practice makes perfect, and there's been plenty of it here. The masterlist is quite extensive. Fluff. Smut. Angst. Whump. Hurt/comfort. What is in the past doesn't compare to what the future holds. My writing isn't that good yet. There are many low points throughout my fics, but there are, dare I say, some high points as well. To improve, I have to write thousands words, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands even. Mortuarius will be the biggest test of my abilities, but that doesn't mean I will put no thought into reader inserts - that too is important to me. The former is a challenge of storytelling while the latter requires creativity. I am putting my heart into both, and I will continue to do so, until the very end.

It still feels unreal, to have so many people willing to spend precious time of their day to read my works. Even if it is just a minute or two, even if most of the time all they leave is a like. It matters to me more than you might think. Throughout these seven months I have met people from all over the world. Companions, buddies, friends even. Without them, my outlook on the blog would be far less positive than it is now.

So I will use this occasion to thank you - the readers. It matters the world to me that you are here. I would like to give special thanks to those that care about the Necro AU, and to those brave souls that leave comments, especially under smut.

And to you, kind stranger, who offered me this opportunity to reflect. Oh, and for the tasty soda too.