#constantly wondering if anyone else does this and almost positive no one does

[jihnari]

plot? you mean 100k words of set up so i can make a single joke?

[zevrra]

LaDS—

synopsis: random hc’s i have for the men of love & deepspace!!

tags: 18(+) only, mdni, pretty nsfw, suggestive content, sylus, rafayel, xavier, zayne, LaDS MC(18+), my personal hc’s!

SYLUS—

has a very strict routine and hates when he has to change something in it

annoys you constantly bc he finds it funny

can and will steal your clothes and hide them so your forced to walk around in his house with next to nothing on

would buy you a collar

seems like this giant asshole but would actually kill for you

the second he hears about some lowlife messing with you it’s almost immediately that you never see them again

possessive !!!!!!!

gets jealous pretty easily as well

has to remind you why you are his and only his

toxic bf

leaves hickies/bite marks all over your neck specifically so other people can see them

is soooo into choking/breath play that goes both ways too!!!

he wants you to use him as you see fit

that is until he takes control and uses you like a new toy and does it all for his own pleasure

degrades you the entire time while he pulls your hair

asks you constantly who you belong to as he fucks ruthlessly into you from behind

“if i can’t have you, no one can.”

RAFAYEL—

either he calls you 26 times a day or will call you the second you wake up and stay on the phone the entire day

drops by unexpectedly at your house

brings you anything he sees that reminds him of you

you have a jar full of everything ranging from pearls, seashells, to aged flowers

secretly tries to befriend a stray cat he had caught you taking care of

even if he dislikes it he’d do anything for you

you are 100% his muse

has several sculptures or giant sets of paintings modeled after you

would showcase a gallery of just the paintings he’s done of you

yaps 24/7 to anyone willing to listen to him talk anout his “amazingly, wonderful, kickass girlfriend”

gets flustered so easily

also gets sooo horny if he sees you wearing his clothes

if you start anything sexual, at first he tries to stop you/hold himself back but if you keep pushing he’ll eventually snap

fucks you so so so good after he stops holding himself back too

fav position is missionary because he loves seeing your face, loves watching you as you take him in so well and deep

“i love you, i love you, stay with me forever, i need you, please.” in your ear the entire time

you both share a bubble bath after you’re done for the night

and once you both are too worn out to move anymore, you fall asleep with him at your back, curled up like a cat

XAVIER—

sleepy bf who takes 36 naps a day!!

you don’t have to worry about him when he’s not answering your texts, you just know he’s sleeping

“sorry fell asleep”

loves giving you his clothes to wear he genuinely enjoys seeing you in his wardrobe so much

hates crowds but goes along with any thing you suggest solely because he gets to hold your hand the entire time

would also willing kill for you just doesn’t make it as obvious as some

loves loves loves kissing

little spoon!!!!

will call you over for a movie date solely so he can sleep on top of you while you watch the movie

coexisting together is all he needs

you only ever see him truly awake during two things, missions & when he’s going down on you

truly is a different person when it comes to day vs night

during the day he’s soft, nods along with everything you say, looks at you lovingly

at night he’s hungry, wants to worship you and make you his

looks at you like he’s starving and you’re his last meal when he eats you out

rarely makes noise when you two make love until he’s close

lock your legs around him and force him to stay inside will 100% make him want to go a second round

his stamina is truly unmatched

he loooooves watching you ride him too

after you two finish, you both have to immediately shower together or else you’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms right after

ZAYNE—

is always busy but never busy enough he doesn’t see you

regularly forces his schedule open solely to spend time with you

not a morning person at all i swear

he’s groggy, hates getting up so early even if he has too

either sleeps the entire night on his back or anything but his back

also very possessive!!!

keeps a hand on your thigh whenever you two are out

buys you anything that you look at for too long

cute shirt in the store window? yours. want to try the new restaurant downtown? puts a reservation in the second you bring it up

doesn’t think himself worthy to have sex with you but after some convincing he’s the most tender, caring lover

but that doesn’t mean he isn’t fast and rough, pounding into you while he tells you how beautiful you look

also secretly think he’s into fucking you in public, especially at his office ugh

“god baby, you’re taking me so well.”

regularly only calls you darling or by your name until things turn intimate and he’s a slew of “baby, babygirl, my princess”

aftercare aftercare aftercare aftercare—

is all about aftercare!!! loves taking a shower with you and treating you like his queen

makes sure you’re all taken care of before he even focuses on himself

doesn’t fall asleep until after you do

[apple-----pie]

I wonder... How did The OVAs go exactly??

Hello! Sorry for the… VERY long answer😢👉👈

Well… they were very similar to canon, with some small differences. So I'll go over the main differences. First, Otomai is dead. His consciousness was transferred into the robot he created.

Frigost is one of the few places where the remnants of the old world remain (such places also include the Sadida Kingdom, the Huppermage Enclave, Albuera). Count Harebourg not only offered to help with the flood, but also offered to unite to "restore the old world". For Yugo, this was hard news. Because he was fully aware that he loved Amalia. Yugo wanted to confess his feelings for a long time, but two things always scared him. First of all, he was afraid of losing Amalia. She does not live as long as Yugo. And her death from old age scared him. Secondly, despite his status as the king of the eliatropes and his help in the fight against Nox, he was still the same "savage" for the inhabitants of the Sadida Kingdom. He did not want to undermine Amalia's reputation in the eyes of her subjects.

When the Brotherhood crossed the ice bridge, Harebourg did not help them, causing them to fall into deep ice caves. There they found a couple of dead mechasms frozen in ice. At the sight of them, Yugo had a bit of a panic attack. But the Brotherhood helped him calm down quickly enough. These mechasms would later play an important role in the plot. In Harebourg's castle, Yugo constantly said not very positive words towards Harebourg (and this included… a lot of swearing). Grougal and Chibi also went on an adventure, but unlike Flopin and Elely, they turned out to be more obedient and didn't go to save their parents.

After the battle with Harebourg, Amalia shot him. Harebourg himself pointed the gun that Amalia was carrying with her at his forehead. As soon as Dally learned that he was a god, he had a panic attack. The thing is, in this AU, the iops are almost extinct (this happened mainly due to Brakmar). When Dally was told that he was a god, he realized that instead of helping the Iops, he enjoyed life and ran away from his duties. He also realized something else about the event that happened after the second season… Since Kerub and Atcham are young and strong, they had a fairly equal battle in the Ecaflip dimension.

But Percimol did not participate in the battle, since in the AU, all representatives of this people went crazy, starting to behave like ghouls. Adamai also met Echo, but he attacked her first. He didn't listen to her words, but listened to Otomai, who confirmed that dofus could lead to the destruction of an already destroyed world. When Yugo and Adamai started fighting over a dofus, they injured each other. Adamai was left with a scar on his shoulder and a torn ear due to Yugo's laser. For Adamai, Yugo's betrayal was the last straw. He literally lost hope and faith in trusting anyone in this world (and this will drive him crazy in the future). He always felt like a "second brother" and less important to Yugo compared to Dally. Because of this, he will try to kill Percedal in season 3. One time, Brakmar tried to kill Ogrest with a radioactive explosion. However, Ogrest did not die, but became a ghoul. He is stronger, bigger, and more dangerous.

Despite the radiation, the dragons that also became ghouls became intelligent ghouls. This is a certain feature - all dragons retain their minds when they become ghouls (for example, Phaeris was also a ghoul) When Ogrest's dofus were taken away, the robot into which Otomai's consciousness was transferred was broken. And Ogrest-ghoul was shot by Yugo. Well, and the most important difference is that when Echo invited Adamai to come with her, he refused, because he could not trust anyone else. He flew away, left completely alone

[strangebiology]

"How do I do your job as a side hustle?"

[Excerpt from Authors of Nonfiction Books in Progress]

Recently I talked to someone who wanted to get good at social media. When I told her I have 315k followers across platforms, she said, “How do you do that!? Teach me your ways!” She was interested in making money from social media. I was also invited to lead an online course on social media or book writing as a side hustle.

It reminded me of all the times I’ve heard, “How do you find so many bones?” or “How did you get that award?” or “How do you get a book deal?” or "How do you make money from writing?"

I LOVE talking about this stuff. I WILL talk about these topics for hours. And I LOVE the implication in the conversation that I'm good at something.

I also really respect the positivity in general that comes with someone asking if they could do that. It is good to ask how someone does something rather than resigning yourself to "I'm not good at that stuff." (AND the people who ask me are polite and respectful of my time! So no hate at all!)

BUT! I realized that people aren't liking the answers I give.

I used to enthusiastically give detailed tutorial answers to "how do you do that?" I often got interrupted when I did that. “Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t have time for that!” People don’t have 60 seconds to hear a summary of steps of how to do something, but they think they have time to learn to do it well? It can take years.

I realized people expect me to advise some quick tips they can employ over the weekend, and they’ll have the skill/award/grant/contract in a couple of days with no previous relevant experience. Or maybe there’s a website where they can download these skills, like in The Matrix.

Now I try to find one-sentence answers that imply a huge amount of homework for them. How do you get a book contract? “Build a writing career.” How do you get a lot of followers? “content is king, audience is queen.” How did you get that award? “Do something that would win that kind of thing.”

(Also, I don't make much money on social media, so I don't have advice for making it a side hustle.)

I asked other science writers if they often get asked how to make their career (science writing, book writing, social media, etc) into a side hustle, wondering if I'm wrong to say "I don't recommend it as a side hustle." The professionals I talked to agreed that they would say the same thing. Some said they feel it's a bit ignorant and disrespectful to think someone else's career is something anyone could do, and profit significantly from, after a 1-minute conversation and little work.

Even people who have been writing for years are struggling to find work in this field. It's hard. I have an MS in Science Journalism that I will likely never finish paying for--I'm not saying everyone needs that, or even that it's very common in this field. It's not. But geez, if science writing were a skill you could get in a 60-second phone call, I would have done that!

Imagine if I said to you, "I've got some free time on Thursday, I think I'll start doing your job on the side. How hard could it be?"

It can certainly be worth it to learn these things, and there are some things you, personally, might be 90% of the way to achieving! So, maybe a 10-minute conversation can help you start the process of capitalizing on your existing skills! I just encourage you to realize the answer to “how do you achieve X” is almost always “a ton of work and practice.” 

Maybe ask more specific��questions after you've already done significant Googling. For example, “What’s the title of the award again so I can look for it?” “What science writing communities do you recommend?” I can answer those.

PS. I'd love to hear if you've had similar or different experiences! *Is* your job something you recommend to anyone as a side income? Or are you constantly battling that assumption?

[androgynousblackbox]

How I Met Your Father. 6 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

A03 link

How I Fell In Love With Your Father

Lucifer woke up first, stretching out comfortably in bed. Alastor remained in the same position as if he were dead, his permanent smile twitching just a bit when Lucifer gave him a kiss on the cheek. He considered going to the palace for breakfast and waking up Alastor with that again, but now that he had walked more around the hotel he wanted to try moving on by himself.

After leaving a note for Alastor to go find him in the kitchen when he was up, he dressed up again and came out of the room. He could feel his heartbeat starting to quicken, but he kept walking, playing with his own fingers to distract himself.

Luckily he remembered the way in which Charlie told him where the kitchen was. It was by the end of the hallway when he saw a dark silhouette walking over the wall, seemingly exhausted.

The shadow of Alastor perked up upon seeing him and wrapped itself around Lucifer, kissing his cheek. His contact always felt feathery and vague, almost as a cloud, but in no way less comforting. It was an extension of his husband after all, like his own hand was. The only real difference is that shadow would drop his smile when Alastor couldn't.

"Aww, good morning to you too, babe" said Lucifer, somehow grabbing the dark silhouette, something that could only happen if the shadow allowed it, and kissed it on the profile of his lips. "Were you working up until now to repair the hotel?" The shadow nodded. "You poor thing, no wonder you looked so tired just now. Do you want to come with me to the kitchen and I prepare coffee for when your other you wakes up?"

The shadow nodded again, reuniting now with the surface of the floor to follow each step from Lucifer. Whenever he moved, the shadow would too with the same happy smile. Maybe it was because of the lack of details or the inability to speak, but Lucifer always found the shadow adorable on how they could never hide anything from him. Alastor wasn't as fond exactly for the same reason.

"Yesterday was a real shitshow, huh?" commented as they passed through the lobby, looking up to see the repaired chandelier. The shadow shrugged. "Does this happen a lot? People just coming in and bombing the place?"

The shadow made a more or less gesture with its hand.

"Figures" He sighed, wanting to be upset at Alastor for not telling him that before, but honestly, what else could he expect? Hell was still hell. A building this big never getting destroyed at least once would be weird. The shadow tilted its head, looking questionably, pointing at him and then making the ok sign with its fingers. “If I am okay? Yeah, babe, don’t worry about it. Truth be told, it wasn’t so much the explosion that freaked me out as… the conversation, you know. Thinking about heaven just suddenly brought a lot of bad memories. It was just really bad timing that all of this happened at the same time.”

The dark matter on his hand squeezed him harder and Lucifer smiled, kissing the black tendrils.

"I do feel better knowing that you are here. Tell you what. How about I cook some extra meat for your other you for breakfast? Would you like that as a little reward for your work?"

The shadows themselves could not eat, but they feed off Alastor's energy constantly. If Alastor was well fed, they were too. The shadow's head nodded emphatically and extended one of its hands towards Lucifer. Lucifer froze when the presence went over his legs and he was about to say that they couldn't do that there, in a place where anyone could come watch, before it settled up on his hand, entangling dark figures with his. The shadow looked very happy with itself and Lucifer chuckled as he closed his hand, gently squeezing the dark matter.

When Alastor raised up from bed, he would get all the memories of the shadow back to him as if he lived them. A memory of them holding hands on the lobby was hardly the worst thing to receive his mind on the morning.

He was hoping to be early enough to find the kitchen empty and cook without having to socialize with anyone, but his silent wishes were ignored. Husk, Niffty and Pentious were already there, all with their own mugs around the table. In the center the cookies that nobody had the opportunity to try yesterday were there. Lucifer thought about turning away and portal to home's kitchen after all, when one of the ears of Husk moved in his direction before the rest of his head followed. Shit.

"Ah. Morning, Majesty" greeted the cat.

"M-majesty, morning!" Pentious made a salute, inadvertently spilling his tea over the front of his pajama, just as Niffty stand up on her chair.

"Pretty scary boy is here!"

Oh jeez.

"H-hi, everyone. How-how are we doing today?" said, squeezing the shadow hand again as he made his way to the freezer. Just as he expected, there was a huge deer carcass wrapped in newspaper with the name of Alastor written on top.

As if anyone could be tempted to eat it too. He asked with a gesture to the shadow if that was okay for him to cook and once receiving the affirmative, he grabbed it in the kitchen to start cutting on manageable parts. The shadow joined to the wall to follow each action. With a bit of his magic, Lucifer also started moving some suppliances around to start making pancake mix for everyone. Everyone loved pancakes, don't they?

"Besides the headache from the construction noises all night?" said Husk, pouring something into his mug. He couldn't get a hangover if he was always a little drunk. "Just peachy."

"Are you doing something evil?" asked Niffty.

"Uh, no. Just pancakes and a little something for Alastor."

"Scary pancakes?"

Lucifer snorted.

"I mean, sure, you can cut a scary face on it if you want" said, thinking maybe he was starting to understand why Alastor kept Niffty around instead of consuming her soul. "Oh, I have some strawberry sauce at home that I can get here and you can make it into blood if you want."

Judging by the little giggle from Niffty, she did like that idea.

"Your Majesty" Pentious said, wriggling on his hand the napkin he used to dry himself up, "I hope you didn't get the wrong impression of what happened yessterday. Thingss ussually aren't that chaotic here."

"What are you talking about?" asked Husk. "Not that long ago you were one of the ones threatening the place to get to Alastor."

Pentious blushed violently, looking back at Lucifer like he was about to react violently at the revelation. Lucifer put the meat on a pan, yawning a bit on his hand. If it was a foe to be considered Alastor would have mentioned it already and he never said a word about a snake man, so he could only assume it was nothing worth worrying about. Just another one of the thousands of small wannabe overlord that wanted to test themselves against his husband and were eliminated as easily as flies.

"The key word iss were! Now I am a totally changed man who would never try to harm a hair from the… sspousse of the king? The other king? Wait, what title doess he have?"

"Alastor is just Alastor" said Lucifer, pouring the pancake mix. The shadow was circling around the meat, as if that somehow would make it cook faster. "The radio demon, I guess? He is technically king, but doesn't officiate as such. I am still the only one who has to deal with the paperwork and the organization side of everything."

"Oh" Pentious moved on his chair, barely containing his own curiosity. "Can I assk why?"

"He tried to implement a sacrificial blood tax. As in, everyone should pay with their own blood. Everyone said no and now I don't bring him to the meetings" Lucifer shrugged when the shadow looked at him with a frown. "Hey, he asked and you already made them sign that contract so it's not like they can repeat it to anyone."

"Right. I keep forgetting about that. Not that I wass planning to tell anyone either!" clarified Pentious.

"It's okay" Lucifer enchanted some plates to be waiting at the pancakes. With his other hand he opened up a portal to his kitchen back at the palace, grabbing some condiments for the meat. "I understand this is… kinda of a peculiar situation, so I guess it's understandable to have some questions. I don't mind answering to a reasonable extent."

As if summoned by a spell, the head of Angel pops up from the door.

"Is that so?" said, perking up when he smelled the food and going to grab his mug before sitting next to Husk. "I normally eat on the way to work, but this seems much better. I got like a million things I want to know about, short king."

"Sure thing. Just a second" Lucifer served them with freshly made juice and more coffee without turning around. "Can you tell your other you to come eat, babe? It's almost ready."

The shadow nodded once again, wrapping around him like a snake and kissing him again before he disappeared through the hallway.

"Oh, after seeing that I have even more questions," laughed Angel. "I didn't know those things could do that!"

"Just so we are clear, it's about sex. He wants to ask about sex" said Husk. "And so we are double clear, if we start talking about that I am out."

"Among other things, Husky."

"I wanna hear the naughty talk!" Niffty said, eating her first pancake like a steak, stabbing it with the fork and taking a bite out of it.

"Oh" Lucifer thought that probably made sense. If it was just about himself then he didn't mind talking about it, but he couldn't do that to Alastor in front of the people he would have to interact with on a daily basis. "Hard pass then. You can ask anything besides that."

Angel groaned.

"You people are no fun" declared, before taking a mouthful of pancake and melting in place. "Oh, but this shit is good. I mean seriously, congratulations to the chef and all is kinda good."

"Thank you" Lucifer was legitimately pleased when the other sinners started eating as well, making known that they actually enjoy it.

Lucifer usually only cooked for his family, so the extra validation wasn't anything he was against. Once the deer meat was properly cooked and seasoned, Lucifer turned off the stove and put it under a cover to wait for Alastor. For any other demon that could have been too much just for breakfast, but not for his husband.

"Well, until Alastor is here, shoot away" said Lucifer, finally taking a seat with his own mug.

"Mmm" Angel looked pensive, deciding the best way to go about it. "Alright, sappy bullshit it is, fuck it. Who was the one who confessed first?"

"Alastor."

"Who asked for the first date?"

"Alastor."

"Who is the little spoon?"

"Alastor."

Lucifer hides his smile behind his mug when he realizes how his answers are surprising for the sinners. None of that matched with their vision of the demon. He hoped that Alastor wouldn't mind that he shared that much.

"Who kissed first?" continued Angel.

"Alastor."

"Who had the idea of having a kid?" asked Pentious now.

"Alastor."

"Who chose the name Charlie?" Husk.

"Me" Lucifer smiled. "I thought it sounded cute for any gender, so it was perfect."

"What was perfect?" asked Alastor himself, materializing just at the side of Lucifer, still looking somewhat sleepy. He smelled the air and turned towards the meat, his mouth watering. "Oh, darling, you shouldn't have."

"I thought you would need the energy" said Lucifer, snapping his fingers to make the meal appear at his side, fork and knife at the ready with a cup of boiling coffee at the side. Alastor sat down and kissed the side of his head.

"Morning, everyone" greeted Alastor, cheery, setting up a napkin on the front of his shirt before starting to dig in, humming appreciatively. "Well, don't stop your conversation on my account. What were you talking about?"

"They are just curious about us" said Lucifer, when nobody else wanted to answer.

"I guess that is what happens when you have nothing else going on in your own life. You have to rely on others to fulfill it" Alastor shrugged with a little chuckle.

"Don't be an ass" Lucifer said with a sigh.

He grabbed a plate with pancakes to eat himself. In one bite he knew that wasn’t enough for him and started pouring more syrup on top until the whole thing was drenched. Only then he started to enjoy it.

“Who is being an ass, my dear? I am just pointing out the obvious.”

“And being an ass about it.”

“Didn’t realize you were so comfortable advertising our private life now, dear.”

“Yeah, stop the press, everyone. The radio demon likes to kiss his husband. The scandal is going to shock the entirety of hell. More news at 11.”

“I see that some sense of decorum is out of the question.”

“Oh for my name, don’t be so dramatic.”

The sinners were following the exchange like a tennis game, back and forth between the two.

“Are you both really arguing this early in the morning?” groaned Charlie, dressed up already for the rest of the day, rubbing her eyes next to Vaggie. “Mmm, why does it smell so good?” She walked over to kiss the cheek of Alastor and then to hug the head of Lucifer, rubbing his shoulders. “Food, not war.”

“Morning you two” Lucifer pulled out two chairs with a swift movement of his hand. “There are pancakes, but I can make something else if you want.”

“Pancakes good” said Charlie, plopping down on her chair and swinging her head from side to side at her first bite.

She also poured a bunch of syrup on top that made Alastor side eye her for a moment. Lucifer caught him in the act and pulled out his tongue. This is what you get for being part of this family.

“Thank you, sir” Vaggie served herself and Charlie juice on their glasses. “Oh, you actually cooked that meat, great. I was starting to worry it would go bad.”

Alastor hummed through a particularly huge mouthful and swallowed whole, barely after a few bites, like a snake. Angel made a face, remembering what happened yesterday, and stood up.

“Well, it was nice eating with you all, folks, but I gotta get to work.”

Once he made his leave, the other sinners stood up as well to start out their day, thanking Lucifer for the food. Niffty waited jumping slightly on her seat until Vaggie, Charlie and the king finished with their plates before grabbing them all to carry to the sink, her need to clean up the mess too great to contain. Alastor always took his time with the food he truly enjoyed so he was the last one to let Niffty carry the plate.

“Are you staying here, papa?” asked Charlie.

“No, duckling” Lucifer sighed, rubbing his face. “I have stuff to do and… contact heaven. I will do the best I can.”

“Speaking of that, sir” intervened Vaggie, standing up to see the king, holding her hands together, “I know you want me there to protect Charlie and I get it, but I don't know if that is really a good idea. Maybe Alastor could go instead?”

Alastor snorted before he let out a full blown laugh.

“Me going to heaven? I think I would burn the place down if I ever set a foot there. Oh, actually, that is not a bad idea either! Luci, I could clear my schedule for that.” The smile on his face was the picture of fake innocence.

“Exactly that is why you won't go. The last thing I want is to give them a reason to do their worst” Lucifer frowned at his husband for a second, who shrugged for the lost opportunity for more entertainment, before softening his looks when concentrating on Vaggie. He stood up to hold her hands, patting them gently. “I will feel a lot better with Charlie being there if she is with someone who knows what heaven is like.”

Vaggie went pale at the gentle words.

“You… you knew…?”

“You aren't exactly subtle, my dear, waving around an angelic spear exactly the same as the ones exterminators use” pointed out Alastor.

“Besides that” cut Lucifer, glaring at him for a second, “I also have a good sense to know other fallen angels. Charlie told me how it happened. That is why I am sure you will be the best company to keep her safe.”

“I told you he wouldn't mind” added Charlie, turning around to rub the arm of her girlfriend. “Nobody cares what you did in the past, sweetie. What matters is what you are doing now. I wouldn’t want to go to heaven with anyone else either.”

Vaggie was doing her absolute best to keep on firm, but a small tear started falling out her cheek. Alastor rolled his eyes when Lucifer hugged her and Vaggie sniffed through saying thank you, promising she was going to do her absolute best to keep Charlie safe and help her case. When Vaggie calmed down, Lucifer assured them that they could all have another dinner at the palace to talk about the results of the meeting. But for now he had to come back home and figure out how to set it up in the first place.

“I can accompany you, love” offered Alastor, a clear sense of curiosity coloring his words as he turned on his chair. “I can be very persuasive if necessary.”

Lucifer hides his grimace before managing to construct a credible smile for him.

“It's okay, babe, I can handle it. Not to mention, I don't think they will be more convinced between the devil talking with his cannibal husband, no matter how handsome” He caressed the cheek of Alastor and although the radio demon leaned into it, his red eyes still squinted, not entirely bought by the flattery, but thankfully deciding to not question it at the moment.

“As you wish, your highness.”

Lucifer did not like the tone in which he said it. So clearly the best course of action was to grab his face and blow a raspberry against his cheek. Taking the radio demon completely by surprise was one of the biggest joys of his life.

“Disgusting!” Alastor declared before turning himself into shadows to get away from him, making a show of whipping his face as Charlie giggled. “Was that really necessary, darling?”

If it was what it took for Alastor to get back to their usual treatment, then yes.

“I couldn't resist, babe” said Lucifer, sticking his tongue out.

“What a childish display.”

“Aww, I love you too, sweetie” Lucifer chuckled, ignoring the frown on Alastor's face to look at Charlie again. “I will send you a text when I get an answer, duckling.”

“I will be waiting then, papa. Thank you.”

Lucifer smiled more easily now.

“Anything for you, baby” He snapped his fingers, opening a portal directly to his studio. “Be seeing you at lunch, love. My treat!” offered to Alastor before disappearing on the other side.

He didn't interfere on overlord matters, it was only fair that Alastor didn't interfere with angelic matters. On top of that, Lucifer really didn't think that he was going to be happy to realize how every communication between him and heaven happened. It could make things more complicated than they need to be.

Once inside his place, Lucifer left his apple cane on the side and searched on his desk until he found a golden dagger. The oldest example of angelic steel ever created. Clasping it firm on his hand, he sat in front of his chimney always glowing with blue fire.

“An eye for an eye” he recited in Latin, lifting his wrist in the air. He always hated this part. Would hate seeing Alastor do this, that is why he couldn't do that to him “until the whole world goes blind and the devil can see.”

A bright red flame wrapped itself around the dagger a second before he quickly sliced up his wrist. The amount of the sacrifice given represented the amount of time he was conceded. Ten seconds for every drop of his blood, twenty for bones, an hour for an internal organ. It was nothing but the fair price to pay for the one who condemned humanity to an existence outside of eden. If they wanted to contact him they didn't have to pay for anything, of course. This was part of his punishment.

It didn't hurt in the same way that it would for a sinner and it didn't scare him since there was no risk of dying attached to it, no matter how much blood dripped into the floor before he quickly wrapped the stump with a handkerchief. But for fuck's sake, it never felt any better to grab a piece of himself and throw it into the fire, where it was quickly consumed as it was made of paper. The fire itself turned into a bright yellow, like the surface of the sun.

“Lucifer” said a voice from the fire.

“Sera” greeted Lucifer in kind, just as the image of the seraphim became all the more clear, managing to show a smile through the absolutely horrid tingling on his wrist as his flesh was trying to regenerate. It felt like burning in oil. “Long time no see.”

“You have 10 minutes according to your payment. State your case.”

Fuck, he had calculated a little more than that. He should have cut his feet instead. But no matter, he could do that.

“10 minutes? Pff, I don't need more than that” A little false confidence to start feeling it never did him wrong. “I imagine you have heard from Adam the project that my daughter is carrying on here in hell?”

“I did.”

“And it must get you pretty displeased, I suppose. So much trying to eliminate my subjects only for my daughter to come along and try to get sinners into heaven herself. What an ironic turn of events, isn't it?”

“Your point being?” There was a twitch at the end of Sera's mouth that he was expecting to see. He could use that. An emotional seraphim was more easy to dissuade.

“Let's not kid ourselves, Sera. She is never going to make it. You don't believe that, I don't believe that, I don't even think that her own residents believe that. But she's stubborn once she gets an idea into her head. I don't know where she got that from” he said with a pleased smile, hoping that she would understand the little joke and lighten up the mood.

“Maybe the sinner you insisted on creating life with” said Sera with the same detached cold of an iceberg.

Lucifer's smile tensed up. Very clever. Intentional or not, making him waste his precious time defending his husband was one way to screw him over.

“Perhaps” conceded with the same light tone, forcing any biting comment out of his mind. For Charlie. This was all for Charlie. “Maybe that is the reason we go so well together. But my wonderful marital life is not the point I wanted to get at. You see, because my daughter is so stubborn she wants to push this as far as she can.”

“Meaning?” Sera arched an eyebrow, a sign of alarm on her eyes that Lucifer was quick to dismiss.

“Please, nothing as extreme as whatever is that you are thinking. She humbly requests one meeting with the council of heaven. That is all. You know how kids are, she won't stop going on and on and on until she gets it, so I thought meh, I will do this one thing for her. What are parents if not the servant of their children, right? I could actually get back some of my precious silence back this way.”

Sera wasn't swayed by his candid attempt at making that common ground. Lucifer wasn't really expecting much, but her lack of response added to the horrible itching on his wrist was making it all a bit more insufferable. He wanted to gnaw at his arm like a rabid dog to get rid of the annoyance, but instead stayed sat on his chair, the perfect picture of composure. Fuck giving her or anyone else the pleasure of seeing him any other way.

“You want us to open the gates of heaven to receive the princess of hell? An abomination against natural order that you made on a whim?”

“Yep!” Lucifer crushed his teeth together, resisting the impulse to tell her his daughter was a better representation of goodness than whatever they had farting around on their clouds and she was the best decision he ever made. The clock was ticking away. Charlie was counting on him. “Come on, you can't tell me that you are scared of her? She won't infect anyone with sinners's cooties for being there. Just let her do her own little thing and then it will be all over. Probably won't have to hear a word from her ever again.”

“And why would we do that?”

There it was, the point of entry that he was waiting for. The good thing about being the villain in everyone's story is that he could use that fear to his advantage. Sera would never just believe him that he wanted this purely for the sake of supporting his daughter, she would think there was a hidden agenda somewhere and refuse on the spot. So minimizing that support as just a ploy to shut up his kid was the only thing she would buy, according to the role given to him.

“Oh, well. That would be unfortunate” said calmly, standing up as he let the handkerchief fall to the floor as he quickly regenerated his entire hand. It hurt like a bitch, like putting a dislocated bone back on its place, and it was still itching everywhere as the blood rushed, but he kept his smile just as wide because threatrics could go a long way. “Because when my daughter isn't happy, I am not happy and, you know me, I can get too creative when I get bored. Let Adam confirm that one for you.”

“Are you threatening heaven?”

“What? No, no, no, why would I do that?” Lucifer grabbed his apple cane and reclined on it, not even flinching at the pain of his hand when feeling the pressure. “I am just saying, completely hypothetically of course, that of the two of us, if push comes to shove, I am the only one with an actual army willing to give out their lives for their king and their princess. You have those little silver birds that only come every so many months. Don't get me wrong, they are cute, but numbers are still in my favor even after all these years, aren't they? Even if you bring out every… winner, was it? into trying to back up, none of them have the battle experience that living down here gives you. And everyday it gets bigger. Earth won't stop providing me with new flesh. Even if they are tiny ants, they can still cause quite a problem for the biggest mansion. Now, obviously I don't want any of that” assured, fixing up the front of his suit jacket. “Too much work and too much time wasted that I could spend on something else entirely. I am sure you too have other things to dedicate your attention on. So why don't we skip all of that nonsense and give me what I am actually asking? Wouldn't that make things a lot easier? One hour for my daughter to give her presentation for another moment of peace, for all of us. I personally think it's more than a fair trade, but it's your call, Sera.”

When Sera didn't immediately respond, Lucifer knew that he got her. He actually hated coming to the point of using that card, playing with so much bluffing at once was a dangerous game that could blow in his face, but it's not like he was given much of a choice. And as long as he won this round, that is all that mattered.

“One hour” Sera said, turning to the side as if she was already arranging the meeting or pretending to do so as an excuse to not look at him directly. “I can't guarantee any result that she would like to hear.”

“That is fine, as long as she gets her chance” Lucifer smiled more sincerely now, genuinely relieved. “Oh, and she is taking her own companion for support.”

Sera rolled her angelic eyes.

“Fine. In three days we will open a portal for her to pass through. If she doesn't make it…”

“She will, don't worry about it. Oh, but just out of curiosity, how much time do I have left?”

“Two minutes. Do you have another matter that you wish to bring up?”

Lucifer almost succumbed to his impulse to let out a cackle and rub it in Sera's face that he didn't even need the whole 10 minutes. But he knew that she would know the cackle was implied and that would have to be his victory for the day.

“Oh, no, I think I said everything I wanted to say. Just be nice with my baby girl when you meet her. You can be a little… distant, Sera. Almost like all the years we have known each other meant nothing for you.”

Sera glared at him and Lucifer knew that he probably looked like a satisfied cat. He felt like one at least when she was the one struggling to keep her composure, for once.

“If that is all, then have a good day, Lucifer.”

“Bye bye, Sera!” said Lucifer, waving friendly to the fire until the image of Sera disappeared and his chimney came back to its usual blue fire.

Lucifer let himself fall again to his chair, holding up his own wrist, when suddenly he saw a dark silhouette moving out of the corner of his eye. In a single second he was opening the door of this studio to see Alastor standing there, letting his shadow reunite with him. Lucifer wasn't really surprised to see him there, but he must have underestimated how quickly he could make his way back to the palace without any portal if he had managed to get there before he was done with Sera.

“An army willing to give out their lives for their king and their princess” repeated Alastor, relaying his weight on his cane as he crossed one leg. “Well, that is some news to me, my love! Is that army here in the hallway with us now?”

Lucifer relaxed somewhat. If that was all Alastor knew then he could handle that. But if Alastor had seen what he had to do in order to buy that brief encounter then he doubted that was going to be the first thing he decided to say to him. Lucifer could almost hear the argument that would take place.

They make you mutilate yourself in order to get their attention?!

I am fine, it's not like I can actually die or get permanently scarred from it.

It's the principle of the matter! How can you tolerate this insult to your personhood? They do it because they want to see you squirm and brittle in pain in front of them, for the privilege of seeing them. A heaven that does that does not deserve a second of peace!

Sera thought he was bad news, only because she hadn't met an Alastor truly pissed off. If it were for him a new war would have already happened years ago. With seeing one Lucifer had more than enough, especially now that he had a lot more to lose. Sometimes he really felt like he was constantly taming the beast that was his husband just to avoid the next catastrophe.

“Did it work or not?” replied with a sigh, turning around. “Not my fault that those fuckers out there never bothered to do the bare minimum research of how things are around here.”

“Oh, you misunderstood me, darling!” Alastor's shadow first grabbed to the hand of his own shadow, making him elevate his arm in the air for the real Alastor to take and make him twirl directly into his arm. “That was truly some marvelous performance! I wouldn't have expected anything else from my dear husband, the king! Threatening a full attack if your conditions aren't met. How bold, how reckless! I was fully captivated. Heaven for once made the right thing by listening to such a mad man.”

Lucifer blushed, smiling up to Alastor until he saw a drop of golden on his sleeve and he turned around to kiss the demon, conjuring the stain away with a flick of his hand. Once he was again clean, only then he deepened the kiss, locking his arms behind the neck of Alastor.

“Nothing less for my baby girl” sighed Lucifer, nuzzling against the chest of Alastor, warm and safe. “In three days she will be in front of the council… Oh fuck, in three days she will be in front of the council of heaven…”

The smile slowly dissolved as reality sank in. Sending his baby to the house of the people who had casted him away was still not something he felt enthusiastic about.

“And she will do amazing, dear” assured Alastor, kissing his crown as he brushed his hair back. “Between my impressive talking skills and your ability to steal the spotlight, they won't have a chance in front of our fawn.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so!” Alastor twirled him around again, making Lucifer deep before he caught him. “Why don't you go tell our daughter the good news? It will stay between us the kind of argument you had to use in order to get that meeting, of course. I don't think Charlie would appreciate it as much like I do.”

“Oh right” Lucifer giggled, standing up, his fingers still connected to the hand of Alastor. “You think she will be so happy she will want to have lunch here?”

“Well, we don't lose anything by asking, don't we?”

“I will tell her I am preparing her favorite!” Lucifer went on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek and then ran to the kitchen.

“Don't forget to contact her first, love!” called Alastor, knowing full well that Lucifer was capable of preparing the full meal before Charlie was told anything had happened.

As his husband disappeared, Alastor extended his hand to receive the handkerchief that his shadow had picked up from the floor. The stains that almost covered the entire fabric were already pretty telling, but he still pushed it against his nose to pick up on the scent. He took a lick and although the blood was dried up for the most part, he still got that familiar taste to something warm, something wonderfully kind that could only come from the most comforting dream. Everything his husband was in liquid form. Such a precious feast that Alastor could only take so much before he was rendered completely useless, lost on that feeling of divine love.

Somehow, someway, someone had wasted his invaluable ambrosia. That was too much blood for being just a minor cut and yet, Lucifer hasn't said a word about it. A perfectly clean and old looking dagger put on the side of the chair in front of the chimney could tell a rather clear tale.

The worst part is that he understood, on an intellectual level at least. His loving king wouldn't want to concern him or their daughter. The idiot would prefer to bleed out for the sake of everyone else before lifting a finger for himself. That was the kind of angel he was.

Alastor put on the handkerchief where it was before. He would respect his wishes, for now.

–

The next days passed in relative tranquility. Now that she was finally given a specific goal as to what to do, Charlie had calmed down enough to not repeat the scene of the other day. Only her compulsive packing and repacking of her luggage betrays still how much nervous energy she had. That is why Alastor wasn't truly surprised when he heard the knocking on the door of his room the night before the meeting.

It was the same reason why Lucifer had turned himself into a cat curled on his lap, sounding like a little motor boat as Alastor petted him with one hand while holding a book with the other. Purring was like a full body massage for Lucifer so it was great for his nerves.

"Come in, Charlie" called in, marking the page he was in and seeing their daughter come inside. He didn't need his shadows to recognize the knocking from his daughter. Charlie did, wearing her red pajama and hair free as if she had just woken up from bed. "Shouldn't you be sleeping right now, little fawn?"

"Yeah, I know, but I really couldn't… Oh, papa, you look so cute!" Charlie instantly changed her tune as she saw Lucifer, kneeling in front of Alastor to scratch her father under the chin as Lucifer moved his tail calmly from one side to another. "I haven't seen you in this form in so long, I had forgotten how soft it is! Aww, you are so adorable!"

Alastor couldn't really blame her for that.

"Not that I am complaining, sweetie" said Lucifer, his voice still sprinkled with more purring sounds as he rubbed his face all over the fingers of Charlie to get the best scratching, "but your dad is right, you should really try to go to bed. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

Charlie sighed, petting his head normally until she sat on the couch next to Alastor, reclining her head over the shoulder of the demon.

"Can you guys tell me one story?" asked with a little pout. "I thought maybe it could distract me enough to go to sleep? Just one, please?"

Alastor sighed, wrapping an arm around the shoulder of the princess to rub her arm. This made him feel somewhat nostalgic of the many times that Charlie had come with them with her issues. Obviously, since becoming a young adult woman building her own life, that part of their dynamic had been almost completely relegated to memory land. In a way, it was comforting to know that their daughter still needed them like that.

"Of course, dear. Which one do you want?"

Lucifer stood up on his lap and stretched a little bit before turning to face his daughter, accommodating over his belly again as he kneaded the thigh of Alastor, careful not to ruin his pants after years of practice.

Charlie relaxed against him, her eyes turning around as she went through the library on her head, like an experienced librarian evaluating what exactly would fulfill her need.

“Mmm, how about the one about your first kiss?” Charlie blushed, hugging the side of Alastor.

“Hah, classic” Lucifer made himself a loaf, hiding his paws and looked up to Alastor. “Wanna take this one, babe? Your version is more interesting than mine.”

“Very well, love” Alastor thought about the modified story they had only for their daughter. It had been almost two months since they started sharing a bedroom and they still haven't touched once.

“It had almost been an entire year since I came to live at the palace. Our relationship was at that weird point in which we suspected we weren't entirely platonic, but wouldn't find the right motivation or drive to take it further than that. I was still in the extremely delicate situation in which I could risk angering my king if I did the wrong move and our king didn't want to come across as a tyrant by imposing on me something he wasn't absolutely, completely sure was what I wanted. The proverbial ball was in the middle of the field and nobody was taking it.

Those awkward days turned into awkward weeks as the two of us argued more frequently than ever before, using any and all ridiculous excuses available to do so because that felt so much easier than to deal with anything else about us. Lucifer would never use his real strength for anything that petty, so at least that was a safe line of interaction I felt comfortable enough to engage with. At least we weren't in perpetual silence, that would have been a lot worse.

This little situation we were finding ourselves in would have to change. Since Lucifer wasn't taking the first step and I wasn't going to either, something else had to change. Like I said, it had been almost a year since I made the palace my new home. I had kept the secret of my new job just as it was expected of me. But I should have imagined that it was only a matter of time for someone to start connecting the dots and become a nuisance. Back then I hadn't fully realized yet what some sinners could do in order to try to get something on me to use at their earliest convenience.

The lucky winner, if you want to call him that, turned out to be a growing overlord that had reached hell a little before I did and therefore was particularly offended by the notion of my career being a lot more successful than his already. The movies he made torturing his targets were popular, yes, but people still needed to go to his newly established cinemas in order to see them. My broadcasts were infinitely more convenient as they happened right inside every home with a radio. Not to mention, in my humble opinion, the lack of visuals is a great way for the listeners to imagine what caused the screams they were listening to and there's few things more terrifying than your own imagination.

But this overlord of cinema lacked the imagination to understand any of this. He only met me as competition for his own medium and did what anyone else tries to do to destroy an enemy: find a weakness to exploit in his favor. If could get it all onto film for whatever sinners to see on the big screen then all the better for him.

I was aware of all of this, of course. I would have done the same thing if I had the chance. But I had clearly underestimated how loyal his own little circle of fans could be. They had been following me for weeks, seeing me going in and out the palace. They had even seen me talking with Lucifer in the garden during the afternoon tea. They had pictures in white and black taken with an old enough camera that had no issue capturing my likeness. They taunted me with them in envelopes I would suddenly find with my name on when walking through the city.

I didn't tell Lucifer any of it because, frankly, I just thought it was hilarious. Congratulations, you have eyes! You saw me sharing space with the king of hell as part of my job! We talked to each other about our day! Thanks for telling me that you literally have nothing better to do with your life that finds out the most mundane things about me. Hardly a sensitive enough piece of information to make me squirm like surely that overlord was hoping I would. I reinforced some of the security measures around the castle, told Lucifer that some overlord was being annoying but nothing worth worrying about and moved on.

That was my mistake. The moment I realized this overlord was willing to go to the palace and had multiple eyes on me, I should have known that was the moment to cut them out before they became too greedy, too confident to do even more than that.

But I didn't know that people were using angelic steel left during the exterminations. People talked about a kind of weapon that could take out royalty, that it could wipe out any sinner without any possibility of respawning, but that kind of rumors had always been around since I came to hell. An overlord exaggerating the effectiveness of their weapons was nothing new. How was I supposed to know that this time was real? The usual sources I trusted in were just as much in the dark as I was.

He and his followers ambushed me on my way to the palace. Normally that wouldn't be an issue at all. Just more free snacks for me to satisfy my hunger. It was even fun the first few minutes when I managed to take down a handful of them. Then I realized that the tentacles that I was using to catch their attacks were not regenerating, even as I let them come back to the shadows. They were actually disintegrating in front of my eyes and it was burning, like someone skinning you alive and letting you soak up a particularly heavy acid rain.

Angelic weapons were no joke or exaggeration! Maybe now you will understand why the little protective act of your girlfriend when we first met was so unpleasant."

"Babe, she didn't know" commented Lucifer and Alastor responded by covering his whole face with his palm.

"Ssh, I am in the middle of a dramatic moment, love. I will lose my train of thought with too many interruptions" Lucifer rolled his eyes and nibbled on the fingers of Alastor, but without doing a lot of pressure so it wouldn't really hurt. Charlie nuzzled her head on her dad's shoulder in a silent agreement that she did understand. Alastor hummed thankful and scratched Lucifer behind the ears as he regained his narrative voice.

"To my credit, I did try to retrieve myself from that situation as soon as it became obvious I was out of my depth. But there were so many of them. Some of them were just owned souls, but many were projections that the overlord was doing of himself that all had their own weapons to attack me with. Blessed rope somehow had ended up around my neck to keep me in place, making it impossible for me to go down with the shadows. They couldn't even touch me as long as that blasted thing was pressing against my neck.

The original bastard was filming everything, of course. His little movie of my demise was the only reason nobody was aiming for instant kill. Not that it was a lot of consolation when the pain was still there and it was taking every ounce of strength to avoid giving them any satisfaction. If they wanted to hear any scream, any beg for mercy, even something as small as a gasp, then they had come to the wrong demon. As long as I had any life left on this body, I would make sure that their production was as boring as seeing grass grow. Sometimes I wished I had an opportunity to see it myself. I didn't even recoil when one of them shot me straight on the knee, my little fawn. You would have been proud of your old man, I promise you that."

Charlie didn't answer, but she squeezed the arm of Alastor against her chest. Alastor petted her head once.

"I don't remember exactly what else they did, but it was burning all over and I was close to passing out when I heard your father shouting from somewhere above my head, with a voice deep as hell itself that sounded bigger than his entire body was.

Don't fucking touch him.

It wasn't a warning because Lucifer had already decided they didn't deserve one. Even if they had begged for mercy, even if they offered to pay for the hospital bills themselves, their fates were sealed. You have never seen your father like that, my dear. Let's hope that you never do because Lucifer was like an industrial meat grinder out of control. The fire that came out his mouth was burning through their weapons while his horn seemed to pierce the sky itself. He didn't leave any survivors that afternoon. The overlord tried to project himself to create a distraction and run away, but there was no chance. Lucifer caught them just as easily as a fish that was already dead on the sink. It didn't cost him not even a second breath. In front of him, they were probably less than insects that only existed to be squished under his boot. All their weapons could have been made out of cardboard and foam, that useless turned out to be. They never stood a chance.

To me, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes upon. Such a raw display of power was a privilege to witness it. I truly hate that I couldn't enjoy it further. When Lucifer was done with them and came to free me, my body was close to giving out."

Alastor could still see his husband of that day as clear as it had happened just yesterday. He had thought of Lucifer as his husband before, but that was the first time that the title meant something more than just an objective descriptor of their relationship. He repeated it over and over in his head like a mantra that could ward off the pain from his wounds. His heartbeat going faster could have been his body desperately trying to fix itself somehow, but he liked to think that he would have felt the same even if nothing had happened to him. How else was love supposed to feel like, if not like a sudden rush that made you want to drop to your knees to devote yourself to it with every fiber of your being? That made you want to protect it and spread as much blood as it demanded, to punish and destroy anything that could ever stand in its way? If love wasn't like that, then what was the point?

The fact that Lucifer was so upset himself that tears were mixing in with the sinner's blood all over his face only made him more beautiful, a soft tragedy that wanted to inspire more violence upon whoever dared to get his husband to that state. He wanted to lick his cheeks clean, hold him and learn to kiss right there until he got killed again by something else. It would be worth it too, he was sure of it.

"By the time Lucifer finally came back to me, I lost consciousness" continued on, scratching Lucifer under his chin until his husband turned on his lap, showing off his belly for Alastor to scratch him gently.

He used to dislike seeing Lucifer being so willing to show vulnerability in front of him. It felt wrong and unfair, like the being capable of killing him should be above such displaya or it would diminish his hypothetical murder. After that day, his perspective changed as if turning on a switch. Lucifer everyday had to exercise such control over himself to not hurt anyone with his extraordinary strength and he was one of the few lucky ones that could receive his kindness, his gentle side, all while knowing that the other one was always available to come to his aid if necessary. Far from making him feel like a damsel in distress that needed the help to survive, it made him grateful with Lucifer for taking that stupid choice during his drunken night.

"I think I was out for two days. Was it two days, darling?" asked Alastor.

"Mmm, yes" Lucifer exposed his neck under the touch of his claws. "I managed to close off the biggest wounds with a doctor I called in, but Alastor was still out and I tried to accelerate things by feeding Alastor some portion of my own blood. It had worked before with the other sins right after the fight with Heaven, so if it was good for the sins then it should be good enough for a sinner."

Alastor let him lie about that part. There was no "tiny" anything on Lucifer pressing his cut hand against his mouth and letting it drip as he begged him to open his eyes after the doctor was gone. There was also no mention of the moment Alastor did exactly that, only to have all his newly healed tentacles grab Lucifer to take him out the room and close it.

The blood itself wasn't the issue, he would be the last demon in hell to mind the blood of his own husband touching his lips. What could there be more romantic than that? But the effects of that particular blood was nothing he could ever be prepared for. If pure angelic power was something to stare in awe at a distance, pure angelic blood was a sledgehammer over whatever defenses that Alastor had built around him and destroyed them without as much as a warning.

It was only after that he learned to appreciate that delicacy and crave it, to understand it as something better than any other drink that he had ever known before. But that first time was nothing if not brutal, too much, too soon.

The only way he could describe it was a shot of divine light straight into his veins, the love of a mother that hugged her child despite her own pains, the chaste kiss on his forehead, the safety, comfort and warmth that he had only known as a child. It was painful, like a body trying to come back from total necrosis, and made him scream until his throat was raw because all he could see and feel were all the reasons why losing her was the worst thing he experienced in life, worse than anything his father had done.

Only after another two days did he let Lucifer come back to the room, his red eyes so concerned as apologies were spilling out of his mouth because he had no idea that it was going to be like that either. He had never tried to heal a sinner that way before, so he thought all it did was basically give poison to Alastor on his worst moment. As he was trying to revise him over without moving him too much, only to discover all the wounds were gone, Alastor stopped him and explained to the best of his ability what he could remember from whatever fog the blood had caused.

For the first time since landing in hell, he talked about his mother and what she meant for him. Lucifer at first was holding his hand and listening so intensively that Alastor had to break away, still too raw from the whole experience. Lucifer had asked what he could do to help and Alastor really didn't know what to say to him, so Lucifer got the message he still wanted to be alone for now. Alastor didn't want that, but didn't correct it either because didn't know what he actually wanted either.

But none of that was ever part of the story they told Charlie. Not to their bright eyed daughter that just wanted to hear about her parents coming together to make the loving family that she knew, not the way that some scars could never truly heal and how hard it was to let another one see them. Good riddance, if Alastor could avoid ever talking about any of that for as long he existed then all the better. One time was more than enough.

It was another week in which he finally invited Lucifer to stay in. It was his bedroom after all, but by then he was already sure he wanted the company more than he kept his distance.

"It did help" continued Alastor. "Angelic blood ironically was the best way to combat angelic steel. Every bone that shattered was good as new, all my tentacles didn't have a single scratch on them, my own skin looked straight after a fantastic spa day. When I came back into myself, Lucifer was fretting all over the place and serving me all the meat I had collected in the kitchen as my breakfast to help me regain my energy. He would touch my forehead or my hand, asking if everything was alright, and all I could think of was how I had seen those hands causing more damage than anything I went through, how impossibly gentle they were now. Before Lucifer could go, I held him there and kissed his cheek once, convincing myself it was the least I could do to thank him for his rescue.

Lucifer went completely catatonic and red. He looked so stupid and pitiful that I had to kiss him properly. I was left with no other option when I was receiving those reactions."

"Hey, at that point I had assumed we weren't going to do anything like that" protested Lucifer, rising up to pat his face with his paw. "And besides, it had been a while! I was out of practice."

Alastor looked at him with a soft smile. He was the one who was learning to kiss and do anything physical with another being at that time, but not even once Lucifer had made him feel self conscious about it. When his kisses were too sloppy or didn't know what to do with his body, Lucifer had just kept trying with the same amazed look on his face after that first contact. Like he had been the one to discover something beautiful for the first time.

Charlie chuckled at the words of Lucifer, which was the worst betrayal that the king could feel.

"Ah, I see that even my own daughter enjoys my humiliation" sighed dramatically the cat, letting himself fall to the lap of Alastor, as if mortally wounded. "Not even my own family respects me, what kind of life is this one?"

"Papa, don't be like that" laughed Charlie, picking up the cat form of Lucifer on her arms and petting him. "It's cute is what it is."

"That was the only part you heard? No thoughts on how your papa was so cool for protecting your dad?"

"It sounds significantly less cool when you define it like that, darling" pointed Alastor, scratching him between the ears.

"It still counts!" Charlie laughed harder in front of the fluffy pouty face of Lucifer and squeezed him against her, nuzzling his head with her cheek.

"You were cool, papa."

Of course it took only that to have him purring again. Clearly that was what he was looking for in the first place as he kneaded the shoulder of their daughter. He could get pretty needy on that form. Not that there was any complaint.

Alastor sighed, petting the head of Charlie.

"From there, it was much easier to fall into an actual relationship" finalized. "Finally convinced that I wasn't being pressured into anything or that he wouldn't kill me for trying to get close, we managed to find our own rhythm eventually. The end" he kissed the forehead of Charlie, who yawned a bit against her hand. "Did that help, little fawn? You think you are ready for bed now?"

"I think so" Charlie blinked when a portal to her own room suddenly opened up in front of her. Vaggie was already sleeping on the bed, most of her body inclined to Charlie's side. Charlie blushed when realizing that Lucifer would do the same for her when she was a kid, even when her room was literally next door. "Papa, I could just make the walk on my own."

"Why would you when this is easier?" Lucifer gave her a tiny lick on her cheek and slipped between her arms to jump to Alastor's shoulder. "It's okay, I don't mind. Just go to sleep. Message me when you get to heaven and when you are back."

"Thank you two" Charlie hugged them both, leaving them with a kiss on their cheeks. "Have a good night."

"Likewise, dear" Alastor repressed his own yawn with his hand as he saw Charlie turning around to her room, the portal instantly closing after her. "Are you ready for bed, love?"

"I think so" Lucifer jumped in front of him, turning back into his humanoid form as he sat on his lap, arms around his husband's neck. The king of hell sighed. "Tell me that everything will be alright tomorrow."

"Everything will be alright tomorrow" obliged Alastor, picking him up on his arms towards the bed.

[b-blushes]

oh yeah i keep meaning to ask about this and keep forgetting, but does anyone have any advice or just, like, thoughts about this? I am disabled. As such, i'm only really able to leave the house once a week, or do one big activity at home once per week. If i do more than that, i become too unwell to keep on top of my housework, and then snowball into Even Worse Health. the problem is that, despite only having one friend that lives locally, and only hanging out with family other than that, i'm somehow 'booked', like, 6 weeks in advance when you factor in stuff like haircuts, medical stuff, any errands that i need to do personally, or things that just come up. this means that i'm a) pretty much always working at about 95% of my capability because i'm doing as much as i can pretty much all the time. that means that it does not take much to tip me over the edge into various types of even more ill health. b) So Scheduled!!! i almost never have enough 'free' time to do anything on a whim, because I have to make sure i keep enough health capacity to keep to my arranged Events. on one hand this is a lucky position to be in, on the other hand it means that i'm just 'getting through' each thing that i can just scrape through with just enough energy, and resting is also mandatory and scheduled so i feel extremely trapped there. c) because i'm able to do so 'little', it also gives me almost no wiggle room for working on physical therapy. I have been prioritising "life with other people" over "physical therapy progression (alone at home), which may increase stamina long-term but means i can't do other stuff short-term, because that takes the activity slot of a 'leaving the house activity". my fitness and strength is extremely down because i just have not had the capacity to do housework, and fun but also medical/other activities, AND for example cardio, without getting so fatigued to the point of injury. hate that for me. I don't think that it's especially 'good' to always be, like, 'getting through' and working so close to things being Too Much, although i'm so so glad that i often have a couple of times a month where i am doing a planned nice event! (instead of having nothing nice with other people planned, and only doing medical stuff or stuff by myself). I'm feeling that it's been quite bad for my mental health also to be working at close to full capacity all the time, so i feel constantly nearly at my limit but also not feeling fulfilled because i'm *just* managing to stay on top of everything and cope. So it's as if i'm having to really really search for the good bits because i am almost always just moving from one rest period in the day through a short chunk of activity to the next rest period in the day. wow this is really hard to express! it feels as if i'm explaining a non-problem somehow! I am struggling to problem-solve this! and i know i have lots of disabled friends on here, so i am wondering if there is something obvious i'm missing, or if there is no easy fix. Perhaps it is the whole 'being disabled means you are disabled' thing, and the problem is not my time management or approach to life, but just that i have multiple conditions which all significantly impact my ability to do daily tasks, so there is no 'trying really hard to problem solve or fix it'. Maybe the best thing to do is schedule in a 'free' week per month, where i don't have any plans, so i can pick whatever i like (or just do nothing!!!) for one of my weekly 'activity' slots each month? The downside of that is that that will mean i'm 'booked' even further in advance, and means i will be seeing less of my friend and family. But maybe that sounds smart? Wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation? Or has any thoughts?

[uselesslyhopefulphilosopher]

I need help but nobody knows how including myself

"It'll get better eventually." "Well, just see how things turn out in the future." "You'll look back and call yourself silly for choosing to be so sad all the time." "Why can't you just be happy." "You have no reason to be scared or mad." "Stop being so ungrateful for the wonderful things in your life." "So many people would love to be in your position."

Don't worry, I hear you so loud and clear that your chastisement rings like tinnitus in my ears hours after you've said the words. You fool, you do not want to understand how hard I'm trying. Waking up to wonder what the argument of the day will be isn't fun. I bite my tongue to pieces trying to keep myself from spewing unkind words so you will not be able to belittle me further. I'm tired of trying to teach you why you should give half a bother about the marginalized when I am a bigger sinner than you in your own eyes. Will God forgive me if I give up? Dialogues play out in my mind's theater of all the things I'd like to say to you. If the words ever freed themselves from my mouth, even then, I know you wouldn't listen.

Please listen. Hear. Let me finish my sentence before you tell me how wrong I am. I'm attempting to help myself be less miserable by trying to help you. It's a DBT skill, you'll remember if you cared to listen while I was sharing what I'd learned. Were you ever listening? Reaching out for conversation is a task because I have to choose which topic will garner less criticism. You care little for the things I care about, and the causes you care about are detrimental to my friends. You call me a bleeding heart and ask me what I'm doing to change the state of things I complain about constantly. Have you considered that I am? Have you considered the fact that me forcing myself to be in your company is an act of defiance against my own wants? I don't care about how evil and disgusting you think me and my people are. But damn it, I want you to see that my having patience for your insults is not by my own strength but God's.

You ask me how to get God to "talk back" to you when His instructions are like *right there* did the Christ not say it himself - forgive your neighbor and ask for forgiveness from those you've harmed then bring your offering to God. If you don't like asking for forgiveness, well there's the leak in your sinking boat. I'm handing you a bucket and you're telling me that's not what God intended. HE ISN'T INTENDING FOR YOU TO DROWN EITHER. Please listen to me. My boat has leaks too - you love to point them out - hiding or lying about them is pointless but I'm doing my best to scoop out the water. You're print near capsizing and telling me you're floating fine, take the bucket for your own good if not for anyone else's. You tell me my faith is built on sand because I can't comprehend why a good God would banish me from his Grace - or where ever I was before I came to be - when satan takes everything you love will it be God you turn to for comfort? You've been gifted a pleasant life cushioned by wealth and material goods. Will God still be the one you praise for the sunrise when its glow casts over the ashes of everything you've built up for yourself? Consider that satan's already taken immeasurable comfort from me, the devi's stolen the unconditional love of my earthly father and you blindly say it's not a problem because you hold onto some insignificant political standing. Will my queerness still matter to you when maggots and flies and worms infest my body? Does the shape of my body matter so greatly that eternal damnation is what awaits me on account of who I love and show love to? Why is my elder sister kissing her boyfriend's 4-year-old on the lips normal and acceptable, when my kissing my best friend is an offense punishable by the flames of hell? In. YOUR. Eyes.

It's almost like it was never about love in the first place.

So please forgive me for the hurt I've caused. Forgive me for the times when I challenge you to think outside of yourself. Forgive me for not believing in things like you do. Forgive me for embodying God's mercy when I give people I shouldn't second chances. Forgive me for associating with sinners. Forgive me for not being the child you wanted. Forgive me for causing you such strife. Forgive me for every day I've woken up crying and wishing I had fallen asleep permanently. Forgive me for the times I turn to the bottle or a joint instead of to the idea of God *you* have in your mind. Forgive me for being in the pain you cause me.

I'm sorry I get mad when you talk shit about the homeless or those on welfare. I'm sorry I berated you when you said the N-word without an ounce of shame. I'm sorry I yell at you when you go out of your way to misgender suicidal people. I'm sorry I sneer at you when you insinuate my serially abused aunt is just an alcoholic whore. I'm sorry for giving a fuck about the people nobody else likes. I'm just trying to be like Jesus.

You want me to stop whining about how I want to kill myself all the time? You want me to stop being terrified of the awful future that your politicians have crafted for me? You want me to "just be happy?"

Ok.

Bye.

Not forever, of course, I know you'll be back. Especially when your mother, father, your wife, your other children are taken from you. Asking how I have faith when the world is garbage. Flowers still grow in landfills ya dingus. Death isn't the end, idiot. Take your eyes off the material and sense God in the people around you. Every person you rag on for being "too sinful and unrepentant" has a little bit of God in them. You keep forgetting that the powers of creation are God's alone. All of us, who you deem unworthy, are here for a reason - it is solely your fault you think you can conceptualize creation better than God has made, why do you think the first people caused generational sin to enter the world? Satan told them the same lie he's telling you and you don't even realise. Yet you still tell me I'm wrong. Satan is death, he is what separates us from the love of God. So whose side are you on for real? Hint: there's a reason why you will never ever meet my best friend. You would do the devil's work right to her face, call her a man, call her names. "ouch, I'm hurt you have such little faith in me." prove me wrong in private first, then I'll trust you.

I want to kill myself because I know that day may never come. I love you and I want God to soften your heart. I'm devastated that your worst fear may very well come to pass. I'm a failure of a Christian because I can't get you to see that treating people like shit isn't what Jesus wants, and I feel I deserve death as punishment for failing God so spectacularly.

You want me to have hope for the future? Don't ruin the image of Christ for the people who have yet to experience his all-encompassing love.

[capwilliamsxn]

according to leah she lives her life so unapologetically herself but is uncomfortable being openly gay, loves being accessible but ignores fans, hates wasting time and doing nothing yet claims to be the biggest napper, wants to be the best centre back in the world but can’t even be bothered to practice her cornering position. why are we giving this hypocrite a pedestal? she has shown multiple times that she pretends to be the person people want her to be and contradicts herself in literally any interview she does

are u being serious? like???

1. there’s a difference between being unapologetic and completely public. you can be confident in yourself and who you are without screaming it on rooftops. she’s confident in who she is (with sexuality, clothing, appetite, music tastes etc) and shares that with her family and friends and the people she knows. because she’s a private individual and values her privacy.

also, considering the homophobia and disgusting insults open gay people (especially those in sport) face daily, is it any wonder why some people don’t scream their sexuality? leah already faces thousands of sexualising, demeaning and vile comments daily (across all social medias) without homophobic people knowing her sexuality and attacking her for it.

i’m guessing you’re a new ‘fan’ if you don’t already know this. i mean, back when leah and jordan would post together, they (particularly leah) would get so many disgusting comments.

also, she’s never actually said anything about her own sexuality, everything people say is just an assumption. she’s hinted at it, but who actually knows (if she’s gay, straight, bi or whatever). it’s no-ones business except her own, she doesn’t have to share that with fans to prove she’s comfortable with herself. i’m sure all her friends and family and teammates all know, which is all she needs.

2. when has she ignored fans? those games when she went inside without interacting because she wasn’t feeling great? (do you know that she literally has endometriosis, anxiety and gets sick like the average person does. she’s not always going to be 100% great and up for interaction. like i’m sure you aren’t.)

the other week she literally responded to a leeds player on twitter who was excited to play against her and wanted her shirt, instead asking if they could swap an that she couldn’t wait to meet her. that’s a fan interaction. she visited a bunch of kids and told them about being mascots for the arsenal game v chelsea. that’s a fan interaction.

she constantly makes herself visible so that young girls (and boys) can look up to her and don’t have to search to find a role model like her in sport, like she had to do herself as a kid.

3. this is the dumbest comment ever. like. yes she has a fear of time and it causes her anxiety, why would that mean she can’t have a nap??

she’s a human being AND a sporting professional who tires herself out physically (and mentally) almost every day. naps are literally what people take to rejuvenate themselves. having anxiety about time isn’t going to tell her body to not get tired and need sleep.

i’m sure on the days where she has more anxiety regarding time (like new year’s eve) she probably won’t nap or whatever.

4. i actually don’t even know if you’re being serious here. like. what?? (if you are,) being great on corners isn’t the only thing it takes to bring a great CB. but she literally is good at them anyway.

for the defensive corners: she’s great at blocking, at managing the traffic of players afterwards and at pushing the play back out and to the other side of the pitch. and for attacking corners: she’s literally scored numerous headers/goals from them and can make a great defensive run or secondary attack.

5. everyone has a version of themselves they want to be, and the best people work at themselves every day to achieve that. that is something leah clearly does, and for herself not anyone else. she doesn’t have to prove anything to you, or people like you who make ignorant and dumb comments without informing themselves first.

she has said before she doesn’t put herself on a pedestal and that she doesn’t view herself as she does her own heroes. if you’re putting her on that, it’s down to you and you personally. she’s a normal person who is trying deal with and be successful in the position she’s in (both her job and role as a public figure). she’s not acting or pretending to be anyone, she’s simply being herself.

(my ask box is called ‘think first’. you should read that before submitting something).

[trainingdummyrabbit]

okkkk so ive been wonderingggg..... who are are the blue and the purple ocs you posted earlier 2day....i am so curious what is their lore

ouhg. ok. so. thats rose and wolfe, two of my lobcorp ocs part of a funy lil facility story im slowly ironing out :] um, nothing officials gonna come out of that, ijust write characters for fun, but they Do have an overarching.. Thing. going on. the lot of them.

but! those two mean a whole whole lot to me, theyve been on my mind a lot lately :] though um, their mess is. not as clear to me as some others', which is why i havent yet written up a loredump for them dkfjgndk;; but ill do my best!

wolfe is a character that Heavily self-isolates on account of not wanting to deal with anyone elses bullshit constantly. shes just kinda generally agitated at all times, snaps at just about anyone. which is on purpose, because if she has a reputation for being Scary and Unapproachable, well. people wont try. mostly.

unfortunately for her, rose is a character that Loves gossip and eavesdropping (under the cover of Simply Listening To People's Issues,) and That One Guy Who Sulks In A Corner And Hates Everyone is kinda prime material for digging into. And That She Does! Constantly. she is annoyingly persistent in trying to dig through whatever wolfe has going on, which she takes about as well as youd think she would.

rose posits it as Simple Curiosity, which wolfe doesnt really engage with, until eventually she nags so much that she starts giving one or two word answers just t get her off her back for once. ...buuuut that just means that its Working. and rose keeps trying. its just an on and on of pestering and shooing away and verrrry very slowly learning more about That Weird One That Doesnt Like Anyone.

and while wolfe keeps up that veneer of distance and disdain, its kinda.. weird. because even though it Is annoying, nobody has ever remembered what she talks about and builds off it like rose did. despite her own instincts to keep hidden, it Did genuinely feel like who she was was being respected for once. not as the caricature she put up, but simply As She Was. (she didnt know how to feel about that.)

on the other half of things, what started as a mostly disingenuous almost-game with herself ended up spiraling into genuine curiosity on rose's behalf-- she never shares much of herself much of ever, but she found herself unintentionally making exceptions with wolfe. every answer in between silences resonated in a way she wasnt really expecting. she keeps up her unruffled air, but... well, she does think about that one a lot. (that was new. and also an accident. huh.)

i dont really know what those two Have at that point in time, but They Have To Go Together, yknow?

um. dont worry about the issues. they dont exist if you dont look at them. nothing bad ever happens in lcorp.

anyway, you ever wonder what the difference is between an attack dog and a guard dog? which holds more beauty-- a prized flower or a weed growing through stone?

dont worry about it.

[dulcewrites]

Yeah…..

I didn’t want to make this a thing™️ bc I feel like it can come off ungrateful and bitchy, which I never want. I love talking with you guys on things outside of my writing too. Characterizations, hotd/f&b, modern au etc. and just life in general. I feel very fortunate to have people in my inbox bc interactions/support can feel few and far especially for content makers on here

But there are times where I almost feel like people are like ??? Idk the word for it other than goad me into things even after I’ve made my opinions (imo) quite clear. Just certain questions that clearly want me to say something negative.

I don’t want to view it as malicious. I do think the questions/comments are being made in earnest. But if I give my opinion on something, then someone comes back with an ‘well actually - 🤓’ ask… it just makes me wonder what the point of giving my first opinion was. Bc I’ve made my opinion clear and it’s not gonna change. If it does, I will go back and edit said ask.

Does this make sense? I feel like I’m being whiny but I’ve been in a weird mood lately. Part of the reason is some of the asks that i have gotten over past couple of weeks. I try to answer things as honestly and kindly as possible. But sometimes I get asks and I’m just like ‘you’ve clearly made up your mind already that you don’t like this character or want them to have bad traits, so what is the point of this’

In particular, I’ve gotten these types of asks (that I have deleted) about Aemond (a lot of these) and alicent. Idk if it is the writing I have put out, though I like to think I’ve been pretty fair about a complex characters like Aemond and Alicent. I’ve made it clear that Aemond and Alicent are characters I like, my favs on the show so far, so the asks alluding to how horrible they are/could be is little odd to me. Bc I’m sure there are a plethora of places to shit on both characters if that is the prerogative (that goes for all team green characters… people who enjoy team green are kind of the minority lol)

I know there are hotd blogs out there that enjoy breaking down the show/f&b and characters at nausea, and that’s great for them. Same for the blogs that are filled with ‘theories’ made from Reddit. That’s not necessarily what my blog is. I appreciate y’all care about my opinions but I’m also of the belief not every person needs to give their opinions on everything.

My writing blog is something I consider cathartic and fun. I don’t want to get worked up talking about a theory/‘leak’ that hasn’t been confirmed by anyone other than people who apparently hate hotd… but still keep talking about it??? To the point of checking out what is happening on set??? I also don’t want to constantly being talking about people who enjoys ships I don’t care for (daemyra or helaemond or whatever else). Or constantly shitting on characters I do like.

It’s like I get it you think Aemond would be a horrible father, why does that have to do with me 😭. You think he’d be a terrible partner I GET IT!

If I write a character a certain way, I’d like to discuss that (positive or negative - show or book) or even just what happens in the show. I feel like interpretations for characters can be different for everyone and that’s the interesting part. But regurgitating answers isn’t really my cup of tea. I feel like people in the asoiaf fandom, but now more so in the hotd one, have gotten so use to arguing people down over stuff that it has sucked some of fun out of analysis. Idk it just feels like there can be bad faith questions/scenarios being bandied about

I just want to write my stuff, chat with you guys in a fun and open way, and make the occasional post about things on the show.

Ngl some of the asks y’all send me about hotd or even f&b just have me staring at my screen like ‘…. What am I supposed to say’ lmao

[sinnerlillith]

Okay but imagine 🌽⭐️ Eddie with a best friend who’s curious about what’s it’s like sleeping with one , like I can’t stop thinking about how mf nastyyyy he would be omggg😭😭😭

Oh.my.god. He would be so freaky. like a little too freaky. and he also has costars with male and female anatomy. pornstar eddie is for everybody, this man fr don’t care as long as everyone is feeling good/having fun and gettin they money

he talks to you about ALL his porn experiences, and sometimes, you literally get so horny from his conversations that you have to take a break. other times, you’re truly just blown away by the things they have him do.

“you did what?” your jaw drops at him

“yup. craziest threesome of my life. who would’ve known that pretending to fuck ‘my boss’ in her tight pencil skirt," he air quotes, "while her ‘secretary’ has a fake dick in my ass would have been so... fun? I felt like we were straight up acting in a movie.”

“in a corporate office set, too...? I mean, wow.”

“yeah,” he half laughs, “the secretary girl was a hot idea though.” his voice drops and his tone gets sultry. he leans in, his face now close to yours with a strange smirk. “you seem real curious, sweetheart... maybe you should come see with your own eyes, huh?” he flirts.

“oh shut up, dork.” you smile, putting your palm on his cheek and pushing his face away. he chuckles at you.

let’s get this straight tho, pornstar Eddie eats ass. I don’t care what anyone has to say, he probably had to eat someones ass for a video, and then got hooked on it because his co-stars said the orgasm they got was a REAL one. didn’t have to fake SHIT.

some nights, you recall the things he told you about and touch yourself to it...

other nights, you don’t have to use your imagination, because he literally sits with you as you both watch the porn videos he starred in.

“if you’re so curious, why don’t we just watch some?” he said it so nonchalantly. Of course, you agreed, and then you both made a habit of watching his new videos when they get released.

you watch him fuck in all sorts of positions you haven’t heard of before. you wonder how these people are so damn flexible.

Their legs are twisted around his body, and he thrusts at different angles constantly. He always switches his body around, unable to stay in one position for no longer than 2 minutes. Eddie is as hyper during sex as he is in his everyday life

Lots of positions had your jaw dropping, but one particular position made your heart slightly... break at the intimacy of it?

Now, it still looked a little rough, and a little freaky, but their bodies were hooked together, and the girl had nothing else to hold on EXCEPT for him... He said it's called the "torch position."

But imagine... Eddie fucking you instead, and all you could grip onto was his body. He would have his large, warm, hands holding up your back as he thrusts into you, while all you can do is claw into him, moaning and crying in pleasure. your face would look so desperate from all the arousal, trying to hold onto something. 

His curly head would be between your raised legs at the sides of his neck. maybe he’d turn to the side sometimes, to kiss and bite your skin. his big brown eyes would lower down to where your bodies are joined, lustfully licking those plump pink lips of his. 

Your face quickly warmed up, heating up more and more by the second. Your panties were turning into a slick mess. You shuffled your legs awkwardly, but you’re unable to keep your eyes off the screen.

“that looks... intimate for a porno.” you observe.

“I uh... I guess so.” he mutters, turning his head to eye your side profile before speaking again, “I was just lookin’ at her tits, so..” Eddie chuckles awkwardly, turning his face back to the screen.

he very quickly adjusts his pants, feeling them get a little tight.

Eddie’s pants were getting tight because not only does watching porn get almost anyone horny, he was watching it with his best friend.

his best friend, that he was probably definitely attracted to, was watching him pump people full with his cum, covering their chests with it too. making their faces trickle with it, their mouths stuffed with it, their hands dripping in it...

“that position was, uh...” he interrupts his own thoughts, trying to figure out what to say- fun? hot? sexy? boring because it wasn’t you on his dick? it wasn’t you moaning at his face, digging your nails into his skin, screaming how good he feels? 

“...pretty wild.” he finally states. 

the lighting is always so good, it makes his inked chest glisten and glimmer with sweat and cum. His tattoos flex above the muscles of his body every time he moves.

speaking of muscles, pornstar eddie is a tiny bit more toned because he literally has to take care of his body, since he practically does a form of physical exercise for a living.

his leg and arm muscles flex and tighten the most under the set lights. the shadows and highlights it provides helps show definition to his body, you can’t stop staring at them.

you pretend you’re the girls in the video being fucked by him, sometimes. you envy them, even if their moans are fake. you still wish it was Eddie that was thrusting into you that fast. speaking to you like that. 

his back muscles protrude out deliciously when he bends over to speak into their ears. into their mouths, too. and at their sweaty pleasured faces.

“good girl, you like that?” 

“you want more?” 

“keep squirming, it’s fuckin’ hot”

“yeah? jus’ like that? keep beggin’ then.”

“oh you’re cryin’? what you cryin’ for, dollface?” he says that one while he’s got his fingers in their mouths, gagging them a little bit.

and when the girls are on top, or even pegging him, he makes the hottest faces. his eyes roll, his hair is so messy, his mouth even drools. and one time, that cute pink tongue of his stuck out. poor thing was so overwhelmed with pleasure.

another time, he was tied up while he was being pegged. his wrists where cuffed, and arms tied back to a bed frame. he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

honestly, any time someone’s on top, he can’t stay quiet. he’s loud, but not obnoxious. he actually sounds naturally loud. like all the pleasure he’s feeling is real.

“oh fuck, don’t stop, please!”

“that feels so good-- shit..”

“mmm fuck yes, fuck me..”

“ah fuck, keep going.. gonna cum!”

“harder... need it harder..”

little do you know, he fucks the hardest and cums the most when he’s fucking the girls that look like you. and in his solo videos, he thinks of your body every time his eyes close. He almost accidentally moaned your name too

his hands too. oh my god. he’s got different rings to pick from for certain videos. they sparkle in the camera lense when they roam over someones body. the veins in his hands are defined in close up shots of then curled around someones throat, or squeezing the fat of someones ass when they ride him.

his fingers skillfully pump in and out of people, making them cum hard, and he pulls them out, glistening wet. he brings those thick fingers to their mouths, and has them suck everything off. those damn fingers that you’ve wanted inside of you for a while, all on display, shining with someone else's cum.

his voice hums through the screen, and then he praises them for cleaning his fingers so well before fucking them absolutely filthy. their obnoxious moans fill your ears, but you can only focus on eddie’s voice.

and thats just with the girls. he doesn't even want to show you what he does with the guys between his legs. 

“so what’s it like?” you ask innocently, after the video of eddies most recent porno ends.

“whats what like?”

“having sex with all those cameras around? and people in the room directing, or watching you?” you ponder. “and having sex with all those attractive co-stars?”

he thinks, wondering how to answer you. you’ve never asked before.

“it’s... well, it’s kinda crazy, but also fun. I get paid to fuck.” he says, “and everyone has experience, so it feels pretty good, for the most part.”

“for the most part?”

“yeah... sometimes it’s just straight up exhausting.” eddie complains, “and awkward.”

you understandingly hum, silently agreeing that it must be awkward to have sex with all these people around, all these cameras and corny scripts.

“as for the ‘attractive’ costars,” he starts up again, “I think they’re alright. some are super hot, others are... whatever.” he shrugs.

“whatever? you looked like you were having a lot of fun to me.” you tease him.

“it’s called ‘pretending’ sweetheart,” he smiles at you, tilting his head and showing those cute dimples, “people do it sometimes.”

you roll your eyes at him.

he speaks with that flirtatious tone again. “maybe I should just fuck all that curiosity outta’ ya... show you what I look like when ‘m not pretending, huh?” his eye brow raises under those curly bangs of his, smile never fading.

you get butterflies from his words. how dare your best friend be so bold with you after you both watched him fuck on his screen? “In your dreams, Munson.” you try to act unfazed by his words.

little do you know, he indeed does fuck you in his dreams. sometimes it’s far more intimate than the position you mentioned. other times, its more filthy than any porn video he showed you. 

[i4sgwr]

thinking about friends to lovers with Connie, but it’s a slow burn bc you refuse to actually get together. (this accidentally got lengthy so it’s under the cut. f!reader bc it’s self indulgent)

you know he likes you, he knows you like him — hell, your entire friend group knows — but you’re just friends. you flirt with each other constantly, and are more than comfortable to hug each other too often, but you’re just friends. your shared friends refer to you as “Connie’s girl,” and he never corrects them bc he admittedly likes the sound of it, but you’re just friends.

he’s your best friend, actually, has been for years. you do everything together, and you tell each other everything. and that’s why you’re holding off on a relationship. Connie is pretty positive nothing would change between you, yet he still stops himself from asking you out. you worry things may change so you settle for being content as nothing more than friends. yet in spite of that, neither of you have eyes for anyone else.

then he comes over one night, just like he always does, and the vibe is different. it’s later than usual — he said he couldn’t sleep and decided to pay you a visit. you both lie in your bed, comfortable in your own space under the covers, going through the day’s events, until he shifts the conversation.

“you know i like you, right?”

“mhm, i like you too,” you respond, thankful that he wouldn’t know how hot your face had gotten.

“we should be together, then,” he states confidently, “everybody already thinks we are.”

you mumble an “i don’t know,” turning on your back while he remains facing you.

“do you not wanna be with me?”

“i do.”

“be mine, then.”

you can feel his eyes burning holes through you, anticipating your response.

“you’re quite adamant, Con,” you tease, bashfully chuckling after.

“don’t change the subject,” he laughs, giving your arm a light pinch, which results in you playfully hitting him back.

“i was being serious,” he says after your giggles have stopped, “i want you.”

“i want you too,” you whisper, staring at the ceiling.

“y/n,” Connie sits up, waiting for you to look at him, “be my girlfriend.”

he said it as statement rather than asking as a question, almost as if he knew you wouldn’t deny him. and you don’t.

“okay,” you grin, slowly bringing your gaze to his and ignoring the rapid beating in your chest.

his face lights up at your simple response, and he has to fight the urge to kiss you without warning. he asks instead, and when you give him permission he wastes no time cupping your cheek and pressing his lips to yours.

the news of your relationship wouldn’t come as a surprise to any of your friends, though they’re still happy for you. Connie is ecstatic — bragging to everyone about how lucky he is and that he wonders why he hadn’t asked you sooner.

adding my taglist peeps since i decided to write a fucking drabble 💀 [ @bleubrri @discordkittenjoestar @erwnsmith @bunnyyamor ]

[pointlesstrashyexistence]

To go along with my headcanon that Nandor has actually forgotten his original name (the name Nandor is Hungarian, he often mispronounces names including the name of his beloved horse Jahan as John, has forgotten almost all Persian, strangely cannot find information about himself despite the fact that for all accounts he should be a well known and documented figure if not in historical accounts at least in Persian and Eastern European folklore and mythology, and has spent the last several hundred years travelling from Eastern to Western Europe where most people probably mispronounced his Persian name and the closest equivalent they referred to him as was Nandor) I decided to list names I thought would work well as his original name.

I wanted it to match up with Guillermo whose name actually tells us a lot about him. Guillermo means “Protector” which actually really suits his character since so much of his time has been spent protecting, caring, and providing for our wonderful vampires. While not as acknowledged he has also protected his mom and other family who know pretty much nothing about the vampires because he doesn’t want them to and probably doesn’t want them unnecessarily involved in a dangerous life. He has also protected himself from the realization that his loyalty to Nandor may have more to it than his want to be a vampire. Guillermo also means “will” or “desire” and I feel like that matches how passionate Guillermo is and how he constantly strives to do his best to reach his goals. So let's get into the list.

1) Namdar/Namvar - “Famous/Well known” or “one who will be famous/ well-known”. I feel like this works well for Nandor because not only does it sound similar, but it would explain why Nandor is especially saddened when hearing that he is actually not very known or feared. To have a name like this, it feels like your destined for greatness or to do great things and in his human life, and probably some of his earlier vampire life, Nandor definitely did do things that should have made him great or well known or remembered in some manner. I feel like this sense of instilled greatness might also contribute to some of Nandor sense of ennui and anger and disappointment with his current vampire life. To be great or well known and have been such a success as Nandor had should give you some sense of life and purpose and happiness and all of that has been drained out of him over hundreds of years, and he now looks around and sees himself with none of his lands and followers and descendants, living in a house in a fairly insignificant (power wise) part of NYC and the US as a whole, having to share what little power he has with one of many annoying roommates.

2) Nadir - “Beloved” or “Uncommon”. I feel like it kind of pairs well with Guillermo because what would a protector protect and fight for more than their beloved. Also, it reflects that part of what Nandor has been seeking is a sense of community or belonging or companionship that he feels he lacks as a vampire who doesn't really want to be a vampire, someone who's homeland doesn't really exist anymore and doesn't seem to have anyone else around who remembers it, someone who seems to find the people he lives with amusing and entertaining at best and so frustrating and annoying that he wants to kill them at worst, as someone who has been unlucky in love, and as someone who was particularly shaken when one of the stable constants in his life (Guillermo) was suddenly gone. He wants to be beloved or be someone beloved and doesn't feel he is and probably can't remember when he ever was. The “uncommon” could reflect how he is an anomaly among vampires as one who actively tried to become human because of his dissatisfaction with life as a vampire. It can also be read as a positive or a negative as something that is uncommon can be seen as rare or precious which reflects his pursuit of power and greatness in his early years, but can also be seen as strange or weird, reinforcing this idea of himself as an oddity that can't be someone’s beloved.

[eidetic187]

          There was a brief moment, in the seconds between twin shots ringing in his ears && the knowledge of who was hit where, in which fear seized his heart. Death was ever looming over the entire team any time they confronted an unsub, && no matter how much Spencer tried to prepare himself for it’s perceived inevitability, he still held his breath every time one of his family was injured. && when Derek was the one injured, he always seemed to hold his breath a few moments longer. The older agent was in no danger this time; he’s suffered only a mere graze against his shoulder. This does not stop Spencer from retreating into his thoughts — he’s ever cursed with too much knowledge, the exact locations of every artery in the human arm, the exact amount of millimeters in either direction that would’ve put Derek in critical condition. If the entire team were in slightly different positions, if the unsub had slightly better aim — he’s cursed with thoughts of just how close he was constantly coming to losing someone he cared for so dearly. So, he retreats into analysis; what did he miss?? What could he change next time to keep himself && his family safer?? Learning is what he does best && he’d take every opportunity he could to adjust his knowledge of body language && behavior if it meant next time, their adversary wouldn’t have a chance to shoot.

          He hardly stirs when Derek settles in next to him, gaze fixed on the sprawling landscape many miles beneath them. Though, with the rather distracting warmth from Derek’s body radiating next to him, his thoughts start to wander from analysis to the many things he’s left unsaid over the years. If Derek had died today, there were far too many things that would remain unsaid, a thought which makes his chest itch. A decade ago, Spencer would never even entertain the idea of voicing anything he felt for the older man, hiding behind a fear of tainting a blossoming bond && of the fallout interfering with their responsibilities. Now, with more confidence than he had a decade ago && a bond with Morgan he’s not sure anything short of committing a murder could ever sever, he’d been entertaining the thought for quite some time now. There were so many things Derek did that made him wonder if he ever had anything to fear — such as knowing how Spencer takes his coffee, he thinks as he takes a sip from said mug. It was perfect, as it always was, && his thoughts begin to drift into uncertainty again. He himself knew how every member of the team took their coffee; acts of service was his love language && his eidetic memory made it as easy as breathing to memorize their orders — but Derek didn’t have his memory, && Spencer wonders if he knows anyone else’s order besides his && Penelope’s.

          His thoughts are beginning to swirl around in his mind at an almost dizzying pace, thoughts of their unsub, Derek getting shot, Derek making coffee for him && knowing exactly how he wants it, Derek getting shot, the way he feels when Derek slings an arm around his shoulders, Derek getting shot — he squeezes his eyes shut && shakes his head. He didn’t die this time, didn’t have anything more than a graze — but what about next time??

       ❛❛ Are you busy tomorrow?? ❜❜ A question blurted out just as his thoughts became a bit too loud. There’s a part of him that wants to insist he’s just curious, just finding a reason to talk, to distract himself from the dizzying tornado of thoughts && feelings && analysis, but perhaps he shouldn’t waste this chance when he’d been convincing himself to do something, anything, for months. ❛❛ There’s a really nice Korean place that just opened up by my apartment, and I haven’t gotten a chance to try it. I was wondering if, um, if — if you’d want to come with me?? Tomorrow night?? If you’re not busy?? It’s fine if you are, just, um…yeah. ❜❜ Maybe not as eloquent as he’d like, but perhaps the older man would find some charm in how it was so distinctly a Spencer way of inviting someone to dinner.

❛         company.         silently      sit      with      my      muse      to      comfort      them   :   𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤   and   @eidetic187

    𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞   𝐚𝐫𝐞   𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬   𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭   𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧   𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡   𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥   always   be   out   of   their   control.   this   was   true   for   life   itself,   not   just   their   work,   and   their   everlong   days   of   profiling.   their   need   to   rescue   people.   sometimes,   things   just   happen.   for   instance,   underestimating   an   unsub   who   appears   to   be   letting   down   their   guard.   giving   in,   with   every   muscle   relaxing,   with   the   pistol   in   their   hand   falling.   until   it   doesn’t,   until   it’s   back   up   again   and   two   shots   go   off.   one   from   jennifer’s   side   and   the   other,   from   the   unsub.   it   is   not   a   fatal   shot,   no.   not   for   either   of   them.   the   bullet   in   the   unsub’s   arm   might   have   shattered   bone,   but   he’ll   live.   and   as   for   derek   morgan,   he   will   live   with   a   simple   graze   to   the   shoulder.   a   searing   graze   which   had   pained   him   in   the   second,   but   was   becoming   more   bearable   now.   

    bandaged   and   even   eager   to   return   garcia’s   call,   derek   is   maneuvering   through   the   beige   tunnel   of   the   jet.   he   brew   a   fresh   cup   of   coffee   and   dipped   in   a   generous   amount   of   creamer   for   himself,   doused   the   other   one   with   packets   of   sugar   for   the   boy   genius.   he   returns   to   their   seats,   brick   phone   pressed   against   his   cheek   and   hands   setting   down   their   piping   mugs   onto   the   table.   “   alright,   babygirl.   i’ll   see   you   when   we   get   back,   ”   said   with   the   same   jest   as   is   typical   for   morgan   and   face   lit   up   by   a   pearly   smile.   he   hangs   the   phone   up   and   turns   to   reid,   only   to   find   him   thousands   of   miles   away.   back   where   they’d   left   the   case,   it   seams.   for   derek,   spencer   was   the   easiest   one   out   of   all   of   them   to   read.   he   understood   him   and   he   knew,   the   kid   did   not   often   like   talking   about   those   jumbled   thoughts   in   that   brain   of   his   (   how   he   never   loses   track   of   them   is   still   a   mystery   to   derek   ).   so,   aside   from   his   clothes   shifting   against   his   seat,   derek   remains   quiet.   though,   he   taps   a   finger   against   the   mug   he’s   brought   for   spencer,   a   reminder   to   ‘   drink   up   ’.   because   it’s   not   all   over;   there’s   papers   to   be   filed.

[elysianslove]

wait, can we please hear more about best friend mattsun 🤰

baby of course you can 😋 i wrote a whole thing sorry hebjwdj. this could very easily have a part 2 just saying :D

the situation you’ve put yourself in isn’t entirely rational, but you try to consider all your other options, and realize you’re left with nothing. matsukawa issei is your best friend after all, and if you’re not going to approach him with you curious questions because you don’t happen to have a dick, who else would you go to?

it started out as a joke, as most things do. “issei, what does a boner feel like?” and then, “wait! do you always wake up with a boner?” and after, “so not all guys have long refractory periods?”

genuinely, you were curious. and isseic ever the generous friend, answered each one of your questions as honestly and as thoroughly as possible. he gave you all the details, provided you insight on what it really felt like to have a dick from what orgasms felt like to is it weird to constantly just have something between your legs— i mean, are jeans even comfortable?, maybe enough to make you envious.

envisioning this conversation with anyone else is nearly impossible for you. to be this comfortable with someone, ask them such intimate questions as if you were just discussing a new show you’d just seen? you can’t picture it with anyone else, no one but issei. so when he perks up and goes, “hey, d’you know we can like— move our dicks? make ‘em twitch and all?” you get just as excited.

and when he continues, “yeah, wanna feel?” you don’t think twice before nodding your head and outstretching your hand, letting him grab your wrist and leading your palm to his crotch. because this is issei, your best friend of countless years. this isn’t — weird, in any way. there’s no particular tension, no weird air between you two. you’re just— having fun.

your brain is void of any thought at all, completely, up until your palm settles on his crotch and your entire body seizes up. even through his jeans, you can tell— can tell issei’s fucking big. with his hand still wrapped around your wrist, he pushes your hand down harder against his dick, encouraging the slight squeeze you give, before you feel it: the twitch of his cock. it’s barely there because of the thick barrier, namely the jeans, but you feel it, definitely.

a gasp tumbles out of your lips, and you stare down at his lap with wide eyes. “how’d you do that?”

lightly, he laughs, letting go of your wrist. “i could barely do it with all the — constraints,” he admits, relaxing against the couch.

“can i see?”

the question, you admit, is a bit too out there. yes, you’re best friends. yes, you talk about sex like it’s just another topic. yes, he does know your go to porn topics and yeah, you do know his favorite sex positions (and why), but— this is a little different. it’s never been so blatantly sexual. and for a moment, you think you’d stepped too far with the confused expression he stares at you with; you think you’ve crossed a boundary you weren’t sure was there because all the lines are so fucking blurry with him.

but then he hums curiously and asks, “you wanna see my dick?”

you fix him with a deadpan stare. “i wanna see your dick twitch. you said you could do it.”

“i can,” he retorts. “but s’not fair if you get to see my dick.”

you sigh. “name your price.”

for a moment, he just stares at you, almost as if sizing you up. almost as if he doesn’t believe you. and then, he grins, in a way that frightens you just a little bit.

“i’ll call in it later,” he decides, and you realize that the lines aren’t just blurry. they’re fucking nonexistent.

because seconds later, issei’s unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them down slightly as he gets comfortable, before he’s lowering the hem of his boxers too, like he’s showing off some new item clothing he just bought rather than his fucking dick. all you can do is stare dumbly as he pushes his jeans and boxers past his balls, letting his limp dick rest against his hip. although it’s not hard, it’s big, and that’s honestly what scares you the most.

because if this is his dick soft, how much bigger does it get when hard?

with one finger raised, he says, “watch,” before, just like earlier, he flexes his dick. it twitches against him, bobbing up slightly. feeling it was something, seeing it is another. it’s so — so alluring, in a way. interesting. and it doesn’t help that his dick looks nice.

like really nice.

nice enough to want in your mouth.

lightly gasping, with an amused smile on your lips, you gasp, “how—“ but evidently your words dissolve into giggles. “that’s amazing.”

he laughs lightly with you, his hands reaching for his clothes again as he slowly begins to pull it up.

“actually,” you start, hands unconsciously reaching out for him. freezing in response, he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to continue. and you can’t believe you actually do. “i’ve always wondered what cum tastes like.”

yeah— who cares about the imaginary lines anyways when your best friend has a dick as big (and as pretty) as that?

[itsheartbeat13]

I really like the way that The Owl House is handling Hunter’s trauma.

In Hunting Palismen, the way that he was able to just talk to Luz so freely was a nice touch that it’s heartbreaking to see the way he just stops himself from talking about Wild Magic. Wild Magic is clearly a topic he’s passionate about and wants to talk more about and probably would love to talk to Luz about it.

This is without mentioning when he gets back to Emperor’s Coven. 

In Eclipse Lake when he glances at Luz’s messages to Amity, he just assumes the worst despite meeting Luz and should know that she would never threaten anyone in a million years. But his thought process is so clear. If Belos loves Hunter and treats him this way, then that must mean that Luz would treat Amity the same way if actually loves her.

Later, when he realizes that there’s no blood, he says “I’m digging my grave.” This isn’t a normal thing to just say. He’s clearly scared of what Belos is going to him that he prefers death. Then when’s fighting Amity, he’s clearly not in his right mind. Especially when he shouts “you really wanna help? Then give me that key!”

Every time I rewatch this fight I just want to give him a hug.

Next time when Hunter shows up is in Any Sport in a Storm and even though a lot of the scenes are played more for humor by poking fun at how disconnected  he is from everyone else, it’s still an insight into his personal life. 

He’s so brainwashed into thinking that the Emperor’s Coven is the best choice and just simply doesn’t understand that working all year, and waking up before the sun rises are all positive things. It’s really no wonder that he has eye bags.

His brainwashing is also clear in Hollow Mind. When he and Luz look through Belos’s memories. There are so many clear signs that what Belos is doing is wrong and evil but he still gives Belos the benefit of the doubt (even saying that Belos doesn’t have guilt). 

Then Belos reveals himself and flicks his hair made me teared up.

(Even while typing this out and seeing this gif play repeat hurt to watch)

Growing up, my mom found a bunch of events for me to take that have talked about domestic abuse and how to identify it. And she mostly able to find those because of her job and if not for those events, I’m almost positive I would’ve missed a lot of these signs. So I’m really happy that there’s more characters, like Hunter, that are experiencing domestic abuse in this way. Especially since TOH’s demographic is for young kids and hopefully some kids that may be in the same situation as Hunter (or even the Blight kids for that matter) can see the position they’re in and realized that they are being abused.

But something else that makes it easier to see the abuse is by seeing the difference of how Eda treats Luz.

Eda hates the Azura books but she allows Luz to talk about them and read them because she knows that it makes Luz happy. 

She has so many potions around the house that constantly drinks even though she hates the taste. She also still takes responsibility for herself whenever she does cause damage as the owl beast. 

Whenever Luz makes a mistake/does something dumb, Eda uses that as a time to give Luz advice (my favorite one being “ Look, [Luz], everyone wants to believe they're ‘chosen’. But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself.”)

When Luz wanted to go to school (even though Eda hated the idea) she did her best to get her in after undoing all the damage she did as a teenager. 

After hearing how sad Luz was that she didn’t get a Palisman, she and King were out all night and stole palistrom wood just for Luz. 

Eda constantly goes above and beyond her adoptive daughter. 

If Eda was in Belos’s shoes, she would’ve never sent Hunter to fight the Selkidomus and if she did, she at least go with him. He would probably talk nonstop about Wild Magic (even if she got tired of hearing it). If the Owl Beast ever acted up, she would do her best to keep it tame and even if couldn’t, she would still apologize for any harm that came to Hunter. If Hunter went on his own to get Titan blood, she would lecture him about not doing dangerous stunts like that but would still be proud of him for what he did.