#considering it was mine and my ex’s kin dates

[harrison-abbott]

Who was in the War

We were trading stories about the war. It had gotten to a serious point in the evening, and the folks were still coherent enough to speak intelligently, and all was peace in the warm room with the winter cold outside. And it reached my turn. So I told them about my grandfather.

Who was in the war. Except, he wasn’t, per se. Because he remained a civilian for most of it. And the irony was that what happened to him most likely saved his life.

The foreign soldiers came into the city and they began rounding up everybody like my grandfather. He was only a boy at the time, by the way: he was only eight years old. And they took him and his parents and little sister and put them on a train and sent them out of the country. His little sister died on the train journey. And they had to leave the body by the railroad tracks and the soldiers wouldn’t even let them dig a grave for her.

My grandfather and his parents were put to work a week later in a mining camp. He had to work with the adults, with the same adult-sized tools, all day and into the night. Soup and water they were fed.

His mother, my great grandmother, caught fever and she died just before the winter. The guards routinely beat my great grandfather with their clubs and whips.

It made me wonder what could provoke such illicit hatred in somebody that you don’t know. I understood – having been beaten up myself, from other men, mostly in youth – how resentment can make you wish the worst for folk who have wronged you. But nothing in my life compares with my grandfather’s story. Considering that there was one occasion in the winter where the prison guards battered my great grandfather particularly badly. They broke his bones and he couldn’t work. And he lay disabled for several days with his son trying to make him better. He died as well.

And my grandfather stayed in the labour camp for three years. The war ended. The camp was disembowelled and the remaining survivors made their way back across the continent. Through a confused maze of train journeys, walking, running, evasion and luck. Grandad was eleven years old when he found work in a port. Grizzly, hard work, but it gave him an income. He lived in bizarre abodes for another pair of years and eventually bought a boat ticket back to his home country. Back to his home city. Where there was almost nobody left from his old kin group. They’d all been murdered.

Why? They were different. But what possible offense had that difference done to the people that had killed them?

You know when you look at somebody and you dislike the way that they look? Or they dress in a different way and you judge them a little bit, without really thinking. Or when you’re working with somebody and they’re slow or they do something that annoys you repeatedly. There will be some lad in the playground who habitually picks on you. A girl who snootily condescends to you. There will be a neighbour who ignores you or who mucked you over with some communal thing. Or an ex lover who broke it off with you in a harsh way. A teacher who didn’t have the resources to have empathy for you as a student, and who looked to hinder your passage as an academic. An elder brother who attacked you out of jealousy because you were better looking than he was, or had this specific ability which he didn’t have.

Everyday trivial things.

But you don’t send somebody off to a camp because of those irritating examples.

And yet, violence is a great motivator within fiction. In books, movies, plays, etc etc. It’s as if we need violence for basic entertainment. And, when we read history books – most of the key dates that you are supposed to highlight or pencil in are when battles were fought and won, when one nation conquered the other. Invasion + conquest on repeat. And, I love history as well; I find it fascinating; and I love movies and books as well, and get a thrill from violence, just as anybody else does. I’m no different.

I also try to be a moral man. And I’ve never killed anybody.

I didn’t say all of the above ^ to my friends in the warm room house.

They listened to the main bits that I told them about grandad. And it surprised me, with them, and even though they were strong friends of mine, even though I loved them: that they had very little to say. There was a confused, hushed reservation when I told them what happened to my grandfather. “Oh, Jesus,” they said, or, “Ah, that’s crazy.” And the comments never really went beyond those few spacious expressions. Maybe the humour had gone out of the gathering; the conversation had grown too serious. And then eventually one of them, the party members, announced that he was going to bed. And then somebody else stuck on a YouTube video of some silly stuff, in an attempt to get everybody laughing again. I went to bed, eventually, too.

I was still thinking about grandad.

After he returned to the home country he managed to get some mediocre work. In an office, at a typewriter, with semi decent pay. And he met a young woman in the same building who would turn into my grandmother, and it was only with that trick of fate that led to me existing. Neither of them were remarkable people in an original sense; and yet the war and had made them exceptional. Not many people have histories like my grandfather. And I believe that the most astonishing thing about him as a man was that he was always quiet and humble. He didn’t seem laden with rage, over what had happened to him. A whole chapter of brutality that he had received without any animosity of his own.

He'd made himself a nice man, when he had a whole host of prominent reasons not to be so. That, I think, is what to rely on when you consider hope and humanity.

[alphaclxwn]

YA KNOW WHAT FUCK BEING SAD. I DONT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING AND A GAME DOESNT BELONG TO SOMEONE WHO LIKES IT. I WAS BEING A BABY, BUT FUCK THAT. YTTD FANDOM HERE I FUCKING COME. GET READY FOR THE SHEER POWER OF ME.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[amorphousalien]

In light of that last post I shared, I wanna talk about something I haven't talked about in a while. Actually, I don't think I ever posted about one instance because I was afraid of being found.

The kinmunnity here is such a weird thing. Its SO weird. We have people anywhere from 11 years old to well into their 30s participating in the Tumblr kin community- running blogs, joining discords, making calls, all trying to 'reconnect' with loved ones or find likeminded people to be friends with.

I frequently see/hear stories about kinfolk going to visit each other and dating each other and living together, and a lot of instances are really nice. A lot aren't. Mine weren't.

Immersing myself in the kinmunnity shaved 50 years off my life. I'm officially dead inside because of my last interaction. So let me tell you guys, especially you young kin kids a story okay. This is not to deter anyone from /being/ kin, just be careful meeting /other/ kinfolk.

I met two kinfolk fairly early on in realising I was kin about two and a half years ago. The first one I'd known for about a year and a half, we were pretty close, talked every day, skyped a few times, etc. I offered to house them to help them escape from an abusive home life. Two weeks later they were sent packing because they were an unbearably emotionally manipulative person to be around. That person continued to stalk me online for MONTHS, sending me DOZENS of anonymous messages berrating me for abusing /them/, threatening me, hurling all sorts of nasty accusations at me, until I finally had to track down their mom's cell phone number to beg her to get her child to leave me alone. I had to install an ip tracker and change my url multiple times to escape them.

Cue my next interaction- similar situation, I knew this person for two years, they were my first kin friend, we had each other added om facebook, I considered them to be my best friend and thought we were in love. I encouraged them to come live with me to escape what I was told was an abusive roommate/canonmate. 3 months later I sent them packing after being emotionally abused, threatened, raped, and coming home to find them hiding in my bedroom with my ex boyfriend, forcing me to hide at my friend's house for two days trying to calm down from panic attack after panic attack.

These were both people I loved and was close to and thought I could trust. It is absurdly common to meet in person kinmates you meet on Tumblr. Its absurdly common to post inane amounts of personal information on your kinblog (selfies, age, location, mental illnesses, triggers, comfort characters/shows/memories). The kind of information commonly found in kinblogs is a fucking cornucopia of information to be used perfectly for grooming.

Unfortunately I have a habit of being a cautionary tale. I don't have a lot of common sense, I have to learn from my comorbid bad luck. Take my experiences and learn from them.