#considering i am doing the mini bang

[monst]

Day 3: Saving a Lantern

Sex pollen | Jason Todd

Warnings: 18+ content (MDI) Gn. Reader, Sci-fi, action, Dubcon (cause of the pollen), guided masturbation, Pre-relationship, Praise, mild possession kink (He wants you to be his so bad) Boomerang wielding reader, Fucking around with canon: Kyle Rayner, the controllers, and Effigy. You know how you have the main storyline and then there are small sometimes one-issue mini-series based on it? This is kinda written like a one-issue spin-off.

Wc: 8.2k 

    The explosion that rattles off to your left drops you to your knees. The air of the blasts skids you across the metallic floor, your body collides with the steel wall before you can right yourself—light sparkles above you, a plasma shot to the wall before you. The missed shot leaves a sizzling ring in the metal. That was close, closer than you’d like. You crouch around the corner, drawing your weapon from your belt. Gunfire clicks against the wall, the resounding bangs growing louder as your pursuers advance. You angle your boomerang around the bend and count the guards. 

     Too many. Your vision blurs with how quickly you observe your surroundings. The visor of your mask pings with potential solutions and you toss the boomerang. It soars through the corridor before impaling itself on the wall just before the guards. You don’t wait around for it to do its job, but the heat of the explosion still manages to lick at your back. You almost pass the hanger you were searching for in your haste, doubling back with a bounce. As expected, the area is empty. Regardless of your certainty, you clear the room. 

     As you get closer, your silhouette expands against the steel of your getaway capsule. The blinking scarlet lights startle you before the blaring alarm starts up. And you quickly tap the sensor by your ear. 

     “C’mon.” You tap your foot as static plays in your ears. “C’mon. That should’ve given you enough time.” 

     The timer on your screen has you reaching for the door latch. You hesitate and flip through a few more channels. “C’mon Jay.”

     “Yo!”

      ‘Thank fuck!’ You feel your shoulders drop from your ears. “Jeez, cutting it close aren’t ya Hood.” 

     “Handcuffs needed a specific key, Warden had e’m” You hear him grunt. “Where are you?”

     “EPR-13.” You shut the door behind you as the spacecraft powered on. The buzz of the engine vibrated the flashing console. You pushed your worry for its reliability out of your mind when your comms picked up Jason’s voice again. 

    “Turned on my location can you see me?” 

    “Yeah, according to the prints, all you need to do is take three lefts and a right to EPR-37.” 

    “No imma double back to the main chamber blow up their-”

    “Done, it’s rigged to blow as soon as we’re off the ship.” You only hear the clink of his footsteps before he barks out a laugh.

    “Can’t believe you set up explosives without me!” You bite back a grin at his enthusiasm, your fingers flipping over familiar-looking levers on the dash. “Have I told you how grateful I am that you joined Team Outcast?” With how busy the other members have been you’re tempted to tell him that it’s more of ‘The outcast duo’ as of late. 

      “Only about a thousand times this month.” You press down on the button that connects the pod to the mothership, the metal doors shutter as they expose the spotted ink of deep space.   

      “Well consider this a thousand and one.” You can tell Jason’s reached his escape pod when you hear the hiss of the opening door. “Talk to you later.”

      Your vessel shoots forward just as Vilgaxian guards pile into the hanger. They drop to the ground as you zip past, flames oozing from the exhaust. You peel away from the large ship, catching sight of another beam of red heading for the asteroid belt ahead. From behind you comes a blinding light, and turbulence shakes your vessel as you steer into the massive boulders. You kill the engine knowing not a single guard deployed. You don’t let the knowledge slow your momentum, the Vilgaxians are hardy and resentful. You have no doubt they’ll be on you two as soon as they regroup; if they haven’t sent out an APB already. 

    Red Hood is outside your pod before you're ready to step out. You triple-check the jet fuel levels on your boots, the tap against the metal door draws your attention and you see him give you a questioning thumbs up. You return the gesture before venturing out into the stars with him. You travel from asteroid to asteroid. Until you finally land on the one that answers back. The camouflage on the ship flickers, when Jason also lands on it. 

    Once inside you can finally breathe, a grin on your lips when Jason’s fist reaches out towards you. Your gloves meet in a powdery cloud of dust and you're grateful for the full coverage your suit allows. Jason then pulls out a small cylinder tube, pointing to it triumphantly. “And they said we couldn’t do it.” He scoffed. 

    “That’s cause the controllers obviously have ulterior motives.” You frown. “You really think this will be enough to clear his name?” 

    “Has to be.” He huffs. “Rayner doesn’t have much of a defense”

    “And we can’t get anyone to testify?” 

    He shakes his head no and pockets the video file. You unlatch your helmet and follow him into the navigation chamber. “Wouldn’t make a difference.” 

    “What do you mean?” 

    “Look for yourself.” You turned toward the monitor. On the screen was the broadcast of Kyle’s unfair trial. The lantern's fight with Effigy was currently being presented. The unmistakable green shimmery trail was left behind once Van Wyck was defeated, his unconscious form drifting off. 

    “..Yeah that doesn’t look good.” You took a seat as Jason made to peel out of the asteroid belt. The Vilgaxian's burning prison ship grew smaller as you reached the outskirts of the galaxy. Usually, you’d take the opportunity to marvel at the celestial bodies but you were reviewing all the facts presented thus far. “But shouldn’t the fact that they tossed him back on earth originally make this whole thing make no sense? Because if they’re viewing him as property then didn’t they discard him first?” 

     “They’re saying that it was the ‘incubation phase’. To let his new abilities manifest”

     “What a load of bullshit!” Jason agreed. 

    “Yeah, but at this point, it’s a mess of he said she said.” Jason’s palm laid flat over his chest, “But this is actual proof that Kyle wasn’t responsible for Van Wyck’s psychotic break.” 

     You’re both watching the screen when Batman speaks, unaware of the fleet zoning in on you. “This video only corroborates Green Lantern’s side of the encounter. As stated earlier, he came to confront the beings that took Effigy. And was subsequently met with hostility, during the very fight we’ve just observed you can see that Van Wyck’s faculties aren’t intact-

    “Objection! Are you saying that we damaged o-”

   You clicked your tongue in annoyance at the buffering screen. “Honestly, this whole thing could be over and done with if we could find the Spectre. It’s not like he killed Effigy.” You huff. “He can put him back together and let him speak 'cause he didn’t even agree to the experimentation in the first place!” At Jason’s silence, you pause your rant. You almost jolt out of your seat when the ship swerves sharply. 

    “Shit!” Jason’s jaw is tense, he can’t see them behind you. “Long-distance missiles?” 

    “Probably?” You click your seatbelt into place. “But they couldn’t have regrouped that fast!?”

    “Paid off,” he grunts turning the wheel to avoid another blast. You don’t think his assumption is too far off considering how far the controllers are willing to go to get their hands on Kyle. “Gonna jump hold on.” 

      You squeeze your eyes shut and prepare for the vertigo that always comes after a hyperjump. The engine whirrs in preparation causing electric blue flames to spit out of the exhaust, and you lurch forward. You're zipping through space and about to pick up momentum when something slams into the ship, with the right engine blown the hunk of metal veers off course. You’re not sure which is louder the robotic voice repeating ‘warning��� or your screams as the ship spins out of Red Hood’s control. 

      “We’re gonna land!” Jason shouts above the noise. 

      “Where!?” You peel your eyes open when he says ‘There!’ and you’re met with a rapidly approaching sphere. “Slow it down!” 

      “Trying” He hisses through gritted teeth, miraculously he manages to get the vessel parallel before you break through the planet's atmosphere. He’s got both feet on the brakes as you both speed towards the ground. The planet's vegetation comes into view and for a moment you think you're gonna splatter before you can clear Kyle’s name. The canopy trees get a trim while they try to slow your descent. And it’s just your luck that your seatbelt gives and you go sliding across the floor of the ship. 

     You find your footing but brace yourself against the emergency latch. You catch your name being shouted before the high-speed winds begin to lash your body. The air roars as you cling to the latch, and to Jason’s horror the hinges give and the door flies off with you.  

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.

.

    It hurt. Your body that is, although now that you think of it hurt is such an insufficient word to use in such a precarious situation. Your knees threatened to buckle with every step, each advance causing you immense agony. Whenever the plants of your heels hit the ground it sends painful shockwaves throughout your body. 

Your lungs constricted in excruciating effort to keep themselves with even an ounce of oxygen. Scratchy wheezes escaped your lips as you tried desperately to fill the sacks with air. You could hear your red blood cells crying in agony begging you to stop, praying you’d give them the chance to do their function. But like hell you would. Stopping, even if for a moment would mean certain death. 

You were no longer running on adrenaline. You were running with grit, fierce determination, and one set goal. Live. You ran, ducked, and dodged through the dense forestry. But this wasn’t an epic written by Tolkien and the trees weren’t as kind as to part for your escape. It seemed as though they grew closer, probably angry about their haircut as they huddled together to hinder you, mocking you with their falling leaves as you occasionally collided with their rough exterior. 

Within a fraction of a second you slipped, the fortunate misfortune graced you with life as you saw feathers burrowing themselves in the wood where you had once been. Thankfully the thickets that slowed you also slowed your pursuers. The dense foliage was however still to their advantage as their laced arrows whizzed through the air. You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you saw a bright light ahead. A light that signifies an open field. ‘Fuck!’

Without a choice, you were forced to continue your sprint up the hill and towards the open space. You knew death was certain if you crossed the threshold of trees. There would be no cover….. Why were you still running if your fate was certain? In the haze of such disheartening thoughts, you faltered and as a result, you heard a dreadful thud. Your shoulder had been hit with such force that it dropped you to your knees. Still, you persisted, crawling up the hill in hopes... In hopes…? 

“Agathana!” The shout was clear but you had no knowledge of the Mugoian language and with one final drag you were sent tumbling down the hill into the clearing. You lay upon the purplish grass and looked up into the sky for the last time you assumed. You wondered if Jason survived the crash, the smoke clouds left behind would put him just a couple of miles ahead. You hope he did. But, your eyes could barely remain open as you looked up at the various moons of the planet.

“Unnghh” the groan slipped past your chapped lips as you regained consciousness. Tears blurred your vision as you tried to peel them open. The biggest sun on the planet beamed brightly assaulting your vision with its warm rays. A breathless gasp left your body and with heavy limbs, you turned to your side. Laying on your back wasn’t such a great idea. You tugged on the broken arrow that had pierced your shoulder. Luckily it had snapped when you had laid to ‘rest’ and hadn’t burrowed deeper, but it wouldn’t budge. With great effort, you sat up and pressed your fingers into the front of your chest plate just above your collarbones. The audible click was met with a release of pressure as the armor split and fell off your torso. 

The arrow had pierced through your armor, however, the metallic-looking tip had barely scraped your shoulder regardless you knew it was responsible for your grogginess. Your brows furrowed as you observed your surroundings…

“What the” You winced, it felt as if someone was repeatedly poking your brain with a stick. You grit your teeth clutching your head to your knees waiting for the pain to subside. When the thumping became slightly bearable you began to reassess your situation. You felt your heart leap when you noticed the Mugoi just behind the tree line. You reached for your holster and grasped at air. 

“Fuck.” You sighed dejectedly. You must’ve lost it during the fall. You gazed at the lanky creatures warily, wondering why they hadn’t come down and killed you yet. Pale long fingers beckoned you closer. You scoffed and promptly flipped the tall alien motioning you to the treeline off. You had figured that something was holding them back. Hell, they weren’t even shooting at you… 

This did not bring you comfort. Your intent wasn’t death and you sure as hell didn’t want them to be picking their razorlike teeth with your fibula, but their hesitance was… Concerning, to say the least. Somewhere in this new territory, or on this field was something even the Mugoi were wary of. It wasn’t surprising. You recognized the planet, Jutangai, and it was bursting at the seams with undocumented danger. 

However, as far as your eyes could see nothing was alarming. The suns were just as warm as they’d been when you passed out and the purple grass swayed gently in the wind, the blades soft under your fingers. Everything seemed relatively normal, you even brushed off this planet's version of ticks off your legs… ‘So then why are they so scared…?’ 

You had laid there for what seemed like hours before you got to your feet. This alerted the Mugoi and they chattered amongst themselves. You paid them no heed even as they began to hiss and try to call out to you in their ungodly screeches. It was then that you noticed how there was no sound save for their collective yips. The air around you seemed to grow stagnant. 

An inexplicable chill shuffling up your spine. You moved but a step when even the voices of the Mugoi were silenced. You could hear the pounding of your heart but you couldn’t explain the fear that had begun to grasp at you. You took a shaky inhale and looked ahead, the field ended and from there, the forest continued. It was then that you noticed that something was very very wrong… The grass in the forest was green...

The ground beneath you rumbled, you swayed with the movement but remained standing. Odd protrusions poked up from the purple blades. They rose and fell slowly. Whatever was underneath the patch of earth had sensed your movement. The creatures weren’t near you but it was a long run to the tree line ahead. And even then you had no way of knowing if there were more Mugoi’s waiting for you on that side. 

You exhaled in relief as the ground flattened once more. You turned your head gazing into a couple of curious black eyes. ‘Great an audience’ you thought. You had no idea how quick the things underground were, your legs were sore and the path ahead was uncertain… 

.

.

         You buried your teeth into your bottom lip as you bent your knees to pick up your chest and back plate. You risked another move. This time you put your dominant leg behind you as you shifted toward the Mugoi’s. The ground bubbled once more and you inhaled sharply drawing your arm back.  

You threw the heavy piece like a frisbee and watched with bated breath as it soared through the air and landed close to the edge of the forest near the lanky beings. As soon as the metal bounced off the earth something broke through the ground…. It scared the shit out of you. And apparently, it spooked the Mugoi and they scampered away. The thing had around twelve very thick, very sharp legs. 

A hard shell seemed to cover its body but you could make out various milky eyes. To your relief, it couldn’t see but its legs pierced your armor with ease, its mandible chewing through the metal like paper. To your horror, more erupted from the earth. Some smaller, some... Bigger. While the creatures congregated around the protective piece you yelled at yourself mentally. ‘Run, Go! Now, Run!’ You hesitated, and rethought your plan, even if you threw the piece they could be on you in seconds. 

‘Think, Think, Think!’ You looked at your lower half. You knew what you were going to do. Hell, it was going to leave your flesh very vulnerable but you needed to somehow divert their attention long enough for you to reach the other side. There were so many that you knew some might follow you exclusively but it was a heck of a lot better than all of them on your tail. 

Once they were off you felt lighter and you were ready. You turned quickly and sprinted towards the treeline. You heard them take off after you and dropped a piece. You could hear it getting torn to shreds and tossed the other two pieces laterally. You didn’t dare to look at anything but the trees in front of you. Your heart was in your throat as you ran and you could feel the unnatural warmth of the creatures right at your heels. You felt one get close to nipping your skin and you pushed yourself to run faster.  

‘C’mon (Name)! C’mon! We’re almost there!’ Your eyes were wide with panic ‘Don’t fucking trip! Don’t trip!’ Tears rimmed your bottom lid as you heard one of the creatures growl very very close. Just as you burst into the tree line you turned around bringing your arms out in front of you. The ghastly being pulled its grotesque head out of its shell elongating its neck to snap at your arms with its foaming mandible. 

Your body crashed to the ground as the creature closed its teeth around your arm guards. You felt it give way and quickly brought up your feet. You kicked at it frantically screeching along with it as it pierced your flesh with its strong jaw. With a final kick, it was finally off of you. It wailed as its body touched the green grass of the forest. The thing quickly crawled back into the purple field while hissing at you menacingly. 

Your chest rose and fell hazardously as you tried to regain your breath. Your entire body trembled. You could feel the wet tears slipping down your neck onto the floor as you curled up and hugged your body into yourself. You lay there listening as the creatures creaked and croaked back into the earth. You allowed yourself time to calm down but every so often you shook and no matter how tightly you hugged yourself the shaking did not end. ‘Probably the poison? Was it even poison?’

The smallest sun had taken its place in the center of the sky and in the dimmer light of it, you allowed yourself to weep...

  “Jason.” You mumbled deliriously. Your body felt clammy, your skin burning but your body shivering. You felt as if you had a mouthful of cotton and your nose had decided to close port leaving you gasping pitifully through your mouth for air. 

“Jay don’t go” you whimpered. Your legs shook as you stood on them and your world rocked sideways while you grasped onto trees to search for him. But no matter how much you stumbled you couldn’t reach his voice. You could hear him loud and clear. He was calling for you. In your delusion, you continued your struggle. 

You traversed through snaggly thorns and tripped on veiny floors till your legs gave out. “Stupid limbs.” You groaned “He’s just up ahead….?” Your vision swam as what felt like lava traveled through your veins. You brought your hand up to your forehead, the heat of your forehead brought you out of your delirium. It was then that you noticed a secondary pulse in your being.

A whine passed through your clenched jaw as you tried to pry off your arm guards. However, you gave up on the task as your inflamed forearm pulsed. You were alarmed at how fast you had acquired an infection. “Guess that’s why the Mugoi stay away from e’m” You slurred while reaching into your pant pocket. To your immense relief, your hidden pack was undamaged. You wasted no time in pulling open the box and preparing the syringe. 

“I can’t believe I hallucinated Jason calling.” You mumbled feeling relief flood your system as the drug healed your body. “Alien medicine you are amazing.” 

You let yourself relax for a moment, you had no idea how long you’d been sick. It could have been a couple of hours or days. Standing to your feet once more you shook off the lingering nausea and figured that you should press on. ‘I need to find water.’ A terrifying growl made you grimace ‘And food…. And Jason’

You glared at the beams of light shuffling through the canopies as you trekked to where you hoped you’d find water. You hated planets like this, too many moons too many suns, and no way to tell how much time had passed. Fortunately, due to the medicine, the dull ache in your legs had subsided, although your arm still throbbed but nothing unmanageable. You rushed ahead when you heard rushing water. 

You jumped straight into the clear river, your lower extremities were soaked and they only sogged up further when your knees hit the squishy ground. You didn’t hesitate and dripped your hands into the water to drink. You didn’t worry about the contaminants of the water as the super drug was still in your system ready to wipe out anything potentially harmful. Once you had your fill you looked around. So far there was no immediate danger….

         There was a mountain straight ahead, the vantage point would probably help you locate your teammate. A rustle in the bushes had your shoulder hiking up to your ears. Before you could ready yourself for an attack a large figure burst from the treeline. You fell backwards into the water clutching the wet fabric of Jason’s shirt tight. “Oh thank fuck.” He breathed “I thought you… god, I thought you had” He trailed off, but the slight tremor you felt underneath your fingers betrayed his thoughts and fears. 

     “No.” You replied wetly. “But it sure was close.” His following laugh was ugly, and he kept you close when you both stood. 

     “I’ll bet.” He muttered. “Second night here I was taken by a bird with six wings. And I was almost eaten at least five times yesterday.” He scoffed. 

     “Well, they know a snack when they see one.” You joked. At your jest, you could see the tension melt from his shoulders. 

     “Haha.” He took a moment to look you over and you followed suit. Aside from a couple of scrapes, he looked fine. “What happened to your arm?”

     “Blind, twelve-legged spiders from hell.” He blinked at you slowly, then flicked his eyes around searching. “It’s fine they can’t leave the purple grass.” 

     “...Right.” He coughed. “Looks infected, we should head back to the ship.” To your relief, it wasn’t much further and it wasn’t long before you were sat in a cot Jason hovering over your arm in concern. 

     “I took some antibiotics, so the swelling should go down soon.” He nods and continues to clean your wounds. He’s wrapping your arm when you ask. “How long have we been here?”

    “Three days.” That explained your headache. “Comms?” He shakes his head. 

    “Still down. Haven’t finished the repairs but I’ve been switching channels on the monster.” Of course, the monster survived. The ‘monster’ is the biggest blockiest transmitter you’ve ever seen. Old as balls but probably the most reliable equipment in the Outlaw’s possession. 

    “And the trail?” Jason doesn’t hide his grimace, but his hand comes down on your head gently. “Don’t worry about that, get some sleep.” You want to ask, ask if Kyle’s now going to take Effigy’s place as the controller's pawn but he’s helping you lay down, and as soon as your head hits the pillow you're out. 

    You wake to the sound of sizzling metal. Your limbs pop when you stretch and as your arms are above you, you notice that the swelling on your arms has gone down. There’s a bottle of water on the table in front of you, next to that is a roasted fish. Your stomach growls and you take care of that before getting cleaned up. Finally feeling like yourself you make it to the control room. You see Jason fusing a panel. 

 ��  “Morning!” You chirp. 

    “G’morning.” He grumbles, sliding out from beneath the console. “Feel better?” 

    “Mm. Thanks for the food.” You catch his smile before he has time to turn away. He grunts in reply and you almost mention how Bruce like that is. But you're quickly distracted by the sheet dangling where the door should be. 

     “Fuck.” You groan. 

     “Hn?”

     “The door.” 

     “Where is the door?” He asks. 

    “Oh don’t get me started.” You groan. He motions for you to continue, picking up the torch to continue working while you speak. “I wasn’t lucky to know where we were when we landed but landing in the middle of a Mugoi village was a dead giveaway”

    You put your hands to work, helping with the repairs while telling him about the fun chase through the woods. “It did cushion my fall but to be fair to them, Their very important-looking structure was kinda destroyed by the door.” 

     “We’re gonna have to fight them to get it back aren’t we?” He sighed. 

     “Probably… Maybe…” 

     “Great.” 

   While you both were making steady progress with the repairs, now that you knew the other was safe you were both more concerned with getting information. And, since a break was in order the two of you took the time to climb up the mountain. You avoided the steeper side of the peak, where you saw the six-winged bird Jason mentioned. “Wouldn’t the rocks interfere with the connection?” 

    Jason paused his hike to look back at you. “Usually but we’re running out of options.” He kept fiddling with the knobs as you climbed higher until miraculously a voice came through. 

    “Batman to the Outlaws come in.” 

    “B!” Jason exclaimed. 

    “It’s been days Batman… Maybe it’s time to give it up, they’re deciding today. We should be brainstorming not-” Whoever spoke was promptly ignored. “Batman to the Outlaws come in.”

     Jason adjusted the channel “Outlaws to Batman” He grinned. 

    “Red hood.” You hadn’t known Bruce out of the cowl for long but anyone could hear the relief in his tone. 

    “Hey.” 

    “Report.” Somehow you knew Batman knew that Jason’s eyes were rolling. 

    “We’re fine no need to ask.” he scoffed. “We’re grounded but we’ve got the evidence. Days before Kyle’s fight with Van Wyck, Effigy was spotted attacking the Vilgaxian’s prison ship. Soon after the controllers pick him up. Possibility of an exchange between them, as soon as we left their ship we were surrounded. Long-range missiles not typical for Vilgaxians.” 

    “Hm.” 

     You share a look with Jason but before you could question him, he was crowding you up against the side of the mountain and into a shallow crevice. “They’ve picked up our transmission.” You peek from around his broad shoulders, three ships have entered the planet's atmosphere and begin to scan the terrain. Rocks come into view when he presses you further into the space, your back meeting the cool surface of the mountainside. The radio is silent for a moment but you don’t comment on it too busy moaning in disgust. 

     You had placed your hand on the stone to support yourself but your palm had sunk into something squishy. The cool rubbery substance oozes between your fingers but you keep still until you hear Batman's voice. 

     “We’ve got another piece of evidence to declare. I’ve just received a video from one of our colleagues.” “Let us see it” “Not until it’s been properly analyzed we’d like to verify the authenticity of it first. Now if you’ll excuse me” 

     “He’s good.” You muse. Jason scoffs but doesn’t deny your claims. 

     “B They’re pulling back” You watch as they zip back into space and out of sight. 

     “Good. As soon as you're up and running I want that file uploaded. In the meantime, we’ll look for a paper trail. We'll send backup for you two just in case. This is exactly what we needed thanks, chum.” 

And he clicked off. 

    “Well… That’s that I guess.” You hum. You duck your head to hide your grin at Jason's reddening ears. He grumbles to himself his eyes widening when he notes how he's crowding you in. When he pulls away you're reminded of the icky goo, you curl your lip as you shake the slime-like substance off. “Yuck” you wipe it against the rock. “Eww, that’s nasty what is it?” 

    “Not sure.” He replies. “I came across it yesterday, tingled a bit till I washed it off.” You shrug and follow his lead, rinsing off your hand in the river and thinking nothing of it. Jason goes to spear some more fish while you work on getting the system running to send the clip. When he returns you switch. It doesn’t take long to fix what you need but it does take about an hour for the file to send. 

      You get an incoming call while Jason’s working on the ship’s exterior. Kori’s vibrant green eyes are the first thing you see when you accept the call. “(Name)!” 

     “Kori Hi!” You swirl your head toward the doorless entrance to call Jason in. “Jay!” He comes rushing in as soon as you call him, seafoam green eyes scanning the area for any immediate threat till he sees Kori and Bizarro on the screen. 

     “Oh.” 

    “What not happy to see us?” You can hear Roy’s laugh in the background. “Art how long till we reach Jutangai?” 

     “Two days? You two can hold out that long right?” 

     “Of course.” You grin. “I can do two more days of fish you?” Jason snorts. 

     “This whole lantern thing is crazy.” Roy sighs. 

     “Tell me about it.” Jason frowns. “(Name) and I think they want him because he can host Ion.” 

     “Whose Ion?” Artemis asks. 

     “Long story,” Kori interjects. 

     “We do have time.” You’re sharing goodbyes with Bizarro when Kori begins to tell Artemis of the cosmic entity. You slump back into your chair when the call ends. 

      “I’m beat.” 

      “We’ve already done our part, we can take a break.” So you do, you spend it chatting about what Jay was doing during the time you two were apart. He’s telling you about a giant mantis he fought but he pauses his tale when you yawn. “Boring you?” 

       “Nu-uh.” You yawn again. “Just tired. I wanted to take a shower before bed but with how cold that water is” 

       “I got the water heater fixed last night.” You jump to your feet eager for a hot shower. “We’ll put a pin in this, I wanna know how you got away.” You don’t see how his eyes follow you when you leave the room. 

        You stay under the spray for far longer than you anticipated, you were relaxed and the hot water paired with the water pressure has you practically melting. By the time you come out, Jason’s gone from the control room, you don’t see him in the small kitchen, the bedrooms, or storage. Out of concern, you can’t fall asleep, you sit on your cot Jay’s book in hand as you debate on going out and looking for him. ‘What if he’s hurt? Maybe the bird came back?’ You are about to spring to your feet to find the man when he comes through the door. 

       His face is flushed, sweat causing his shirt to cling to his muscles. You’re only mildly ashamed for ogling, but worry overrides the feeling. He steps towards you, his body heat radiating off him in waves. You are about to question him when his fingers pinch a wet strand of your hair. “Y...You okay?” 

      “Yeah, Just needed some air.” His voice is rough. “G’night.” 

      “Good night?” You don’t press him but you do fall asleep bewildered. 

. 

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.

    He’s good as new the next morning, He’s working on the jagged scrapes along the hull of the ship. You want to ask, but you're not sure how to. You mull over how you’d approach him while you test the repairs. You’re prodding at a couple of cables when you start feeling angsty. You are not sure why but heat begins to pool in your lower belly. And your skin itches to be free from the confines of your clothes. You rest your hot cheek against the metal of the ship walls but it’s stuffy in the ship. 

     You press your thighs together feeling your core pulse. ‘Maybe a dip in the river will cool me off’ You muse. You push past the fabric ‘door’ and Jason quirks a brow at your rushed out. “Need some air!” You throw a  “Going to the river for a swim.” to let him know where you’d be. He doesn’t pay much mind to it, only telling you to stay safe while he gets back to work. The main sun moves a couple of inches across the sky and he figures he should join you, and cool off a bit. 

      On his trek to the river, he thinks back to last night. The odd fire that filled his loins. He’s had thoughts about you before but the way in which he was consumed the previous night didn’t seem quite normal. Maybe foreign subs-

      “Hnngh” He paused at the sound. He was close enough to see the river, your head peeking out from behind a rock. When you whimpered again he heard his boots hitting the earth. He was next to you in seconds, eyes roving over your form to find out where you were hurt. 

     “Are you” The words died in his throat. “..Okay.” He quickly averted his eyes, but the image of you with your hands between your thighs was already burned into his retinas. While a million thoughts raced through his head most of them along the lines of you being as attractive nude as he’d imagined. The one that rang out the clearest was ‘Last night.’ The same thing had happened to him. He cleared his throat remembering how long it took for him to finish. Your broken moans pulled him from his analysis. 

     “J-Jason.” You whined pitifully, it felt wrong, the way his stomach swooped at your tone. 

     “Y-Yeah?” 

     “I can’t” You whimpered, he chanced a look at your face and his heart sank. Your brows were pinched, your lips wobbling as tears cascaded down your cheeks. 

     “Can’t what sweet thing.” He frowned and reached out to wipe your tears pausing when he thought of the possibility of recontamination. ‘The thing on the mountain?’ 

     “Cum.” The air was knocked out of him. 

     “J-just keep doing what you’re doing b-” He paused before he could call you baby. You weren’t his no matter how he felt. “Just keep going I’ll.. I’ll be at the ship sorry.” 

     He was about to get up from his knees when you wailed “No please stay! Help me.” He couldn’t. 

     “I can’t your not, We’re not.” He blew out a long line of air. “You are under the influence of some type of aphrodisiac, you should be fine if you cum a couple of times.” He felt the tips of his ears burn at his words. 

     “M’ not asking for you to touch me.” You gasped, the wet sounds of you playing stimulating yourself were getting harder to ignore. But your words caught his attention. He was caught between being hurt and confused. How’d you want him to help you? 

     “Jay please.” Your voice was going to haunt his dreams. “Help me!” 

     “H-how?!” He breathed, his eyes not moving any further than your chin. 

     “I can’t get off without…”

     “Without?” 

     “..Asmr.” You mumbled. 

     “Asmr?” he parrots. “What do you-

     “Ugh! Just talk me through it!” His cheeks bloom a cherry red at your ask. 

     “O-okay Um, shit.” He holds his breath for a couple of seconds to settle himself. “Okay. I want you to keep doing what you’re doing, mm yeah just like that but not so fast. Go slower for me sweetheart.” He bit his lip at your shaky okay. 

     “You like that?” It’d be easier if he could see but once your head was clear he wasn’t sure you’d appreciate that. 

     “Yeah, Jay feels good~” 

     “Yeah?” “Mhm” “Wanna be good for me?” At your teary yes! He asks you to go faster and press a bit harder. 

    “God you’re so sweet, you just do what you’re told huh?” 

    “Yes! Only for you! Ah! Jason~” He knows you’re just saying that. But if he only knew how much you wanted him to. 

     “For me? Then cum for me. You can do that, right? Cum all over your fingers for me.” You do just that your sex dripping from your release but the fire in your veins is still scorching. 

     “M-more Jay need you to Mmm fuck! Tell me you wanna fuck me!” Oh, he does. He really does want to. And while he knows he shouldn’t his calloused palm cups your cheek tenderly, his thumb pressing your chin up so that your hazy eyes can look into his. He doesn’t look away from your face, watching your lashes flutter with each word. 

      “Of course, I wanna fuck you baby. I’d make sure my baby feels real good. I’d kiss these perfect lips” He dares to brush the rough pad of his thumb on your lower lip. “Till you’re dizzy.” He whispers. 

       “Gasping for me and gripping my hair as I lick down your pretty neck.” You mewl eyes shutting as he paints you a picture. “You’ll be so sweet for me right?” 

       “Yeah promise”

       “Promise?” His deep voice grumbles the words and you rut into your hands with a repeat of the word. “Hmm, then you’d have to stay real still for me as I explore that gorgeous body. I wanna lick you everywhere, gonna kiss and tease you till you squirm.”

       “Please!” 

       “Don’t gotta beg sweet thing, I’ll give you everything, my fingers, my mouth my tongue my cock all yours. Just tell me how you want it.” 

       “I’d want you inside.” You gasp. 

       “Then I’d have to go down slow, get you nice and wet with my tongue, stretch out that pretty little hole so you can take me. Do you want it nice? Slow and deep, or do you want me to stir up that sloppy hole hard and fast?” 

       “Shit! Jay!” You see him through tears, the pressure in you winding tight with each word. “Yes!”

       “Which one?”

       “B-both! Wanna be yours.” Your breath hitches and one of your hands leaves your body to grip his forearm. Your nails bite into his skin when you cum again. Jason lets out a shaky breath when your mouth drops open in a soundless moan. He hasn’t looked down at you once, but your face and voice are doing it for him. He doesn’t touch himself, he painfully hard but he’ll let it go down. He thinks you’re good now and you feel his grip on your face loosen. 

     “O-one more, s-still feels hot.” And while yes, your body is still heated it’s not so much due to the aphrodisiac. He can feel your breathy pants against his fingers and he wets his lips willing himself to stare into your glassy eyes. He can do this, watch you fall apart one more time for him. ‘Just one more’ His dick was so stiff that it was becoming uncomfortable. 

     “Wanna be mine huh? You want me to put my thick throbbing cock into your tight little hole? Gonna let me cum inside? Make you mine from the inside out?” You hissed out a string of yeses. No doubt raw from the overstimulation. “Mmm yeah fuck need you to milk my cock with your perfect hole, gonna make you all sloppy and loose and have you thank me for it, show you how much I lo- want you, get you all drunk off my cock” He feels your hand speed up and he continues “You won’t want anyone else right?” 

      “No! Just wan’ you.” 

      “Just me?” You nod “Gonna be all mine.” 

      “Yeah, all yours!” Your voice cracks a tiny bit and your cum for the third time with his name on your lips, your body slumping over the cool rock as you catch your breath. Jason’s still cradling your face, his eyes glued to your shiny lips. He doesn’t know when he leans in, you don’t know when it happens either. But his rough lips press against your softly, the lightest of pressures but it leaves you more breathless than his filthy words had. Your eyes snap open when you feel him pull back, his pretty seafoam eyes are wide, his lips parted. He wrenched back looking vaguely horrified as if your lips burned him. 

     He doesn’t turn around when you call his name. He’s avoiding you. Or are you avoiding him? You sort of feel like you may have taken advantage of him. That last one you didn’t really need it maybe you’d pushed to far? Or maybe he knows you like him and he’s pulling away? What if he only sees you as a friend?! What if this changes things? What if he kicks you off the team? The what-ifs follow you into fitful sleep. Unbeknownst to you the what-ifs plague Jason throughout the night. 

     He’s devastated, because how could he take advantage of you like that? He has no right to kiss you. You were under the influence, you were saying whatever. What if he ruined things and you want to leave the team? What if you never wanted to speak with him again? And while he likes the rest of the team he’s not complaining about it being the two of you most of the time. But after today will you even feel comfortable being with him alone? Was he too obvious? Did you know? 

    You both looked wretched in the morning. Lack of sleep was apparent as you wished each other a stilted good morning. He worked silently on the hull while you finished up inside. The nerves were killing you and the incoming call did nothing but grate them. 

     “H-Hi Biz.” Bizzaro furrowed his brows at your expression. “Couldn’t sleep.” You lied, it didn’t look like he believed you. “What’s up?”

      “Bad news! We’re a minute closer!” He beams. 

      “Oh, That’s great!” 

      “Don’t tell red him.” He waves at you before cutting off the call. You steel yourself and walk outside. Jason almost drops his tools when you come to stand behind him. He readies himself, determined to hear you out. 

      “Bizzaro says they’re an hour away.” ‘Oh.’ He wonders if that’s what you want. To pretend it didn’t happen. But you don’t leave and before he can turn around and tell you he won’t mention it your apologizing to him? “I… I’m sorry.”

      “What?” This time he does drop his torch. “Wait? Why are you sorry I should be the one apologizing?”

      “The thing wore off after the second orgasm- Huh? For what?” You ask. 

      “What do you mean for what?” He frowns. “Kissing you. Huh?!”

      You both gawk at each other for a moment before one of you snorts and the other laughs. 

      “I like you,” Jason confesses. 

      “I like you too.” You smile. You’re both smiling at each other until you hear the six-winged bird screech in the distance. “We um.. We should probably get back to work?”

      “Yeah.” He watches as you quickly shuffle over and is stunned when you press a kiss to his cheek before you can skirt behind the curtain door into the ship he catches your hand. His gaze flickers down to your lips and you don’t need any further invitation. Sure you’d probably have to have a proper conversation about whatever this was but for now his lips against yours were enough. 

.

.

  The rest of the Outlaws touch down an hour later, the first one off the ship is Roy who throws his arms over both of your shoulders “I guess we have two things to celebrate!” 

    “How could you possibly know?” Jason asks. 

    “I didn’t” He grins. “You just confirmed it.” 

    Kori flies out of the ship and squeezes the three of you into a hug. You hear the breath get knocked out of Roy when Bizzaro joins and you all wait for Artemis to reluctantly join. “Group hug!” 

    It isn’t long before you are all sitting around a fire and Artemis is telling you about how the Guardians of the Universe opened an investigation on the Vilgaxians. “Turns out they really just wanted him so that they could trap Ion” 

    “So how’d the infiltration go?” Kori asks Jason. He’s telling the redhead trio about your quick mission while you chat and chug beers with Bizzaro. 

    “Not been long” He huffs. 

    “Yeah, it has.” You sigh, you're pleasantly buzzed watching as the campfire light reflects off the faces of your friends. While you like being a duo with Jason there's just something about having the whole gang present. You grabbing another drink when Roy spots your arm. 

    “What did that?” 

    “A blind, twelve-legged spider from hell.”

    “Oh, this I have to hear.” When you finish, Kori snaps her fingers “It’s a Kn’vg!” You all butcher the pronunciation when Roy claims it’s his turn to tell a story about a close encounter with death! While Roy yaps Jason's hand reaches yours tentatively and you curl your fingers around his. You’re glad that although everyone sees how you're now leaning into each other no one says anything about you two. You know they’ll ask but not right now, not when this thing between you is still so new. Your friends continue to chat into the night that is until Artemis snorts at Roy’s tale.  “No way that happened.” Jason tucks you under his arm as the shit show begins. 

     “It did” he frowns. 

     “Is this one of those and everyone clapped moments?” Kori asked. 

     “Sounds real.” Bizarro huffed his arms crossed over his chest. 

    “It is.” Before Roy can properly defend himself Jason tosses out a “Bullshit!” 

    “What?! You mother fucker! You were there?!” 

.

.

.

        The next morning you catch Jason's eyes and look away. His smile is shy when he says good morning, you're wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug when you hear someone ask.

“Hey, where's the door?”

“I drew a map!” You exclaim, you all group around it. “Here is the purple field and there’s the Mugoi village, the door should be right in the center.”

“Biz can not fly and get it.” He shrugs. 

“No I can get it, I want to see the Kn’vg creatures.” 

“We can all go,” Kori suggests. Roy straps on his trick arrows before taking the map and heading off in the direction of the lavender field. 

“The first one to it wins!”

“Hell yeah!” Jason takes off after him after latching on his hood. Kori and Bizzaro speed off and Artemis has already caught up to both Roy and Jason promptly tripping them as she passes. You shake your head at your team but strap on your boomerangs all the same.

“Wait for me!”

  You'd have to talk with Jason later, have a real serious conversation about this, you know the two of you. But right now, you needed to get to that door before your maybe-boyfriend and friends. 

Kinktober2024|Masterlist

[silkling]

Not to be that person, but you've been quiet and haven't posted anything here or ao3 for some time now, is everything alright?

Hi! Don't worry, you're not being "that person"! I'm sorry to have worried you! I've just been really busy with university! This semester has been especially busy for me! But the good news is that I am working on some updates! "Of Finding Family" is my current project, and I'm struggling with how to make the thing I want to happen actually happen. But! I have the outline of the rest of the story mapped out, it's just figuring out the fiddly bits of how to get from point A to point B, so to speak. After "Of Finding Family", I'm hoping that the inspiration from that will carry me to "Watermarked by Your Ancestry"! I hit a major roadblock with that project just after I last updated and have been struggling since, but my hope is that the success of finishing "Of Finding Family" will give me the boost I need to get over that particular hurdle.

As for Tumblr....yeah. I stopped posting my fics here because they never get much engagement. Now don't get me wrong, I don't write just for the engagement of the audience, but that interaction with readers is what motivates me to actually post, y'know? Sure, I daydream the ideas and write them for fun mostly for myself, but when I post them it's a lot of work to take it from messy daydream brain-vomited onto a page, to the actual finished product. And the interaction and feedback from my audience is what makes me want to put in that extra effort. I get a lot more of that on Ao3 (And I promise, even if I don't respond to most comments out of me just straight up overthinking myself into stress, every single one makes me super happy)

To that effect, I've honestly been considering just. Shifting the focus of my Tumblr. Maybe using it to post general TF thoughts, headcanons, blot bunnies, theories, fic updates....that sort of thing. But idk. Just a thing for me to consider.

Also, more good news I've joined this year's Reverse Mini Bang, and if this year is anything like last year's Big Bang, I'll probably overshoot the minimun word requirement again. So, that's one more big(ish) project you can look forward to! (Even if the posting period is a bit of a ways off)

All in all, I have a handful of projects planned! I will do my best to update "Of Finding Family" soon, but I can't promise anything. At the very least, I'll have a lot more free time as summer hits, so at least there's that.

And finally...I want to say thank you. Real life's been keeping me busy, but I felt like I had to respond to your message. It's honestly super touching to know that people like me and what I do enough to notice that I disappeared for a little. So...thank you. :D

[hadeslegacyhephgirl]

So this is- a fic! yay! finally! Anyway So this is the reverse fic to A Bidding War for an Old Friends Grief (tag: valgrace) on ao3 (archive of our own) (You can legit just type it into the search box and its the one result. It ain't that hard to find)

You don't have to read it to get this - but it IS heavily recommended. Onto the story!

~*~ Two months. Two months since Piper had left. People talked at him, telling him to grow up, get over her, move on, get better stand up stop beingsuchaburdenJason yournotachildshedidn'tdeserveyouanywayJasonpleasetalktomewhy areyoubeingsodetached and Jason wanted to scream.

Because he couldn't He can't. ~*~ "If this is another intervention, go away" His own voice sounded detached, weird, too loud but too quiet and whywasLeoherewasthisjustanotherwaytotellhimtosnapoutofitandhe couldnttakeitandhewasbeginingtoshutthedoorbutitwouldn'tclose. "Leo. I'm serious." "So am I. Hazels staying over tonight and I thought I would give her and Frank some privacy. Well. Less I thought and Frank asked me to leave, so I grabbed some shit and got out. But-" Why would Leo be here for that? He had Percy's and Annabeth's or- "-I don't really have anywhere else to go. So can I stay at yours tonight?" Jason wanted to say no. But he couldn't. The word stuck in his throat at the sight of Leo's puppy eyes and gods was he always this adorable?

"Fine."

Jason let Leo in. He watched as Leo bounced around the apartment like a fucking puppy as he made small talk. Jason was considering what kind of puppy Leo would be, when an unexpected thought jumped into his mind. Whatever he was, he was adorable.

Jasons breath caught. Because that was new. Sure, Jason always knew Leo was cute, but adorable? Where had that come from.

He didn't want to think about it. Wait, yes he did. No. yes. no yes no yes noyesnoyesnoyesnoyes-

~*~ Morning found Leo gone, the apartment tidy and a note from Leo saying thank you and had one of those cute sideways smiley faces Leo loved so much.

Jason found himself tucking the note into his pocket. And felt, weirdly, a little less empty. A little less sad.

~*~ "Again?" "Yeah. Sorry"

Jason sighed and let Leo in. He seemed to be doing a lot of that.

He'd thought about Leo. About his insane amount of energy and his adorableness and the overwhelming urge to wrap him in a blanket and never let anything touch him even though Jason was probably most in need of saving right now.

Jason had wondered if this was what love felt like.

Leo turned and smiled at him, and Jason's chest tightened. And if this was love, he'd never loved Piper, not really. Leo said something about pizza, and Jason caved, just wanting to see Leo smile again.

Because Leo was smiling at him. And he couldn' bear the though of taking away Leo's smile.

~*~ It was too good to be true. And it all came crashing down the very next morning.

Jason had woken before Leo, and came out to watch him sleep. Creepy, he knew. But Leo was puffing out the most adorable mini snores and Jason just wanted to reach out and cuddle him, hold him, protect him from the world.

Leo's phone buzzed once, twice, three times. Jason picked it up, because maybe Leo was missing a lecture or something?

The reality was far worse.

Hazel replied to Intervention Group Chat Woo! Great Job Leo! Annabeth replied to Intervention Group Chat FInally. We needed a breakthrough Percy replied to Intervention Group Chat Good job Hazel, Leo, Frank!

~*~ Jason slammed his bedroom door and replayed the scene over and over.

Leo had woken up and Jason had yelled at him, told him to get out because it was another fucking interventionandhecouldn'ttakeit becauseitwasLeoandhe'dbeentrickedbyhisbestfriendandJasonhad yelledathimandLeo'ssmilehadgoneanditwasallbecauseofhim.

The image of Leo, curled into himself to make himself smaller, terror and panic and regret and sadness swirling in his wide eyes, terrified of Jason.

The door slammed. Leo was gone. ~*~ A banging on his front door woke him. He was still in the position he'd assumed when Leo had left. Slowly he got up, wincing at the stiffness in his joints and opened the door "Leo, I told you to go away why-" But it wasn't Leo.

Percy scoffed and shoved his way past Jason into the apartment, surveying the already cluttered room "Wow. You are a mess." "What are you doing here Percy?" "I'm here, because you can't pull your shit together, and I'm done coddling you. Be grateful it wasn't Annabeth." Jason scowled "You don't get it" Percy laughed. "Really. I don't get it, do I? Newsflash, bud, your not the only one who's gone through a breakup! Heck, I've been through one! You didn't see me cut up over Rachel, did you?" "That's different" "You also didn't see Annabeth broken to fucking peices because of Luke! We cried, sulked a bit, picked up the peices and moved on. So don't you fucking stand there and tell me that's different, because it ain't. And now Leo's missing and he's sent us a ridiculous text-" "Leo's missing?" "All because you refuse to move on! She's gone, Jason! And I'm sorry, we all are, but you can't let her ruin your life!" "Drop it, Jackson. What do you mean Leo's missing? What text?" "Oh, now the almighty Jason Grace cares-" "PERCY" "Ugh, fine."

Percy pulled out his phone and tapped a few times, then shoved it in Jason's face.

"There!" "Percy, that's a picture of Estelle" "Godsdammit- this stupid phone, give me a sec"

Percy pulled the phone back, tapped a few places, then handed the phone to Jason

Jason saw the chat. He's not happy with me. Probably won't forgive me. Probably deserve it.

"What the fuck."

Percy was beginning to calm down, but still threw one last parting stab

"Pull yourself together, Grace. Before you lose him too."

~*~ Ring ring

"Ugh, shut up, you stupid phone"

Ring ring

"Ugh".

He picked up the phone. Unknown Number.

Despite himself, Jason felt his heart jump. Unknown Number - Piper?

Heart racing, he hit the pick up line.

"Please don't hang up. I'm begging you I don't know where I am so please don't hang up" Not Piper. But a very drunk Leo. However, Jason's heart only seemed to pick up speed. "Leo?" He fell backward, head hitting the pillow with an audible thump. "I told you to go away. Why the hell are you calling me at-"

Then the rest of the sentence hit and he bolted up again "What do you mean you don't know where you are?"

"I know you hate me. I deserve it. I do too. Hate me, I mean. I get it. It's fine. ... Rambling" "Get to the point, Leo. What do you mean you don't know where you are?" "I'm drunk. And my phone is dead and it's really fuckng cold. Like, really cold. I know your number off by heart."

A pause

"I know you have me, and I hate me too, and we can throw a hate me party whenever you want-" Jason's chest tightened, but he let Leo keep talking. ''-but can you call one of the other to pick me up, please? I don't want to freeze to death in a phone booth. That's like, in my top 28 worst ways to die" "What phone booth?" "Do phone booths have names? I feel like we should give them names. This one feels like a Jerry. Tell them Jerry."

Jason cracked a smile. Life, death and drunkenness and Leo still made jokes.

"What do you see outside?"

Jason stood up off the bed, rustling in his wardrobe for a jacket

"No! No, your not meant to come, I don't want to annoy you, I shouldn't have waked you up I can stay here tonight please don't hate me more!"

Jason panicked

"Leo don't you dare hang up!"

A pause "'m here"

Jason heaved out a relieved sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose "Jesus. Leo. Tell me what you see"

Leo described the place, and after a while, Jason recognised the place as somewhere where he'd gone drinking before With Leo, his brain threw out. Not helpful

"Okay, that's a- how the hell did you get that far?" "Too far? 's okay. Go back to sleep. I don't wanna be-" "Leo I swear to God, your not spending the night in a phone booth on the other side of town! I just want to get you home. Your not that far away. I'll come get you"

Jason threw his jacket on and shoved his feet into his sneakers

"But you hate me! Get one of the others, I'll hate me too when I realise I've ruined it" "I don't hate you"

Jason slammed the front door behind him and plugged the location into his phone. A five-to-ten minute run. He could do it.

"-and do you really think I could go back to sleep and hope that someone comes to get you before you freeze? Just stay in the phone booth, okay? I'll bring you home."

The phone beeped, signalling that the time was almost up.

"I calls almost finished, Leo. Stay in the phone booth. Please" "I don't wanna be on my own. 's too cold. Stay"

Jason's heart ached at the whine in Leo's voice. He softened his voice, trying to calm Leo down.

"I can't stay on the call, Leo. I have to go. I promise I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay awake. For me?"

Before Jason could say more, the call was disconnected. Jason kept running. Down the street, round the corner. He had to get to Leo. He couldn't lose him too.

~*~ Aaand if you want the rest, you'll have to go read the original base

sorry, I'm tired, and I need this out.

And the base fic does it better than I can. Make sure to go read it, leave kudos (likes)

Yay! One fic out! And another is coming!

[zalrb]

I MUST REALLY LOVE MY FOLLOWERS - BRIDGETON 3.01 review

1. "Dearest gentle reader, did you miss me?" Me:

2. I'm not doing this recap.

3. I maintain that Nicola should be Belle in the next live action we'll eventually do.

4. Idk man, Kathony just feel SO unnatural.

5. MINI MOUSE MAN NEXT TO BIGGER MOUSE MAN

6. Who will be the prize of the season? And it's Colin?

7. All of these women are gorgeous and all of these men are like basic white bread. I -

8. I'm upset because this is supposed to do something for me

and it's resolutely not.

9. Oh please. Francesca looks like every other woman there.

10. Prudence is probably the only character I somewhat like. I think. She's the terrible one, right?

11. I might like that family the most because they're the schemers. They're actually DOING QUASI-INTERESRTING THINGS.

12. Colin is a fuck boy without fuck boy good looks. Please stop it.

13. And I'm not saying he's ugly. I am saying he's plain.

14. This is my problem with Bridgerton. It SHOULD be fun. And it's punishing.

15. Where the fuck is Edwina? I DON'T CARE ABOUT KATE.

16. They should shock us all and have Edwina come back and just murder everyone like Carrie.

17. Leave her alone, Colin.

18. I know the point of this season is Polin but I already know she deserves better.

19. GIVE ME MORE OF THE BICKERING SISTERS. They're terrible. I'm interested.

20. "Well that's your fault for marrying men without title!" But Prudence's man is one of the, like, two most good looking of them all, so you know.

21. OOOOOOOH IS PENELOPE GONNA WEAR LAVENDER NOW? THE COLOUR OF LOOOOOOOOVE.

22. Considering that I barely pay attention to this show, did Penelope do like irreparable damage to Eloise and her family for this fallout to be as serious as it's meant to be?

23. That's a genuine question.

24. This Kanthony love scene is ... awkward.

25. Kanthony? Kathony? Whichever. Whatever.

26. And even when he goes down on her I'm like idk, Outlander would like a word.

Someone is BANGING ON THE DOOR and Jamie does not stop until Claire orgasms, so.

27. So Penelope is basically "draw me like one of your French girls, Jack" but with clothes.

28. The one thing Bridgerton had going for it was the music and I'm not hearing any classical renditions of pop songs. What is the POINT?

29. This ball looks like every other ball in this show.

30. Oh, there's the music. abcdefu is a good choice for her, I do have to say the music choices are at least better than TSITP. She SHOULD be talking to Colin as it plays though.

31. I'm not sure why I hate him, I just do.

32. If she enjoys embroidery let her enjoy embroidery, Eloise. Don't "not like OTHER girls" them please. Jesus.

33. "D-do you all like to read?" I get it, Pen.

34. TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF. NOW. Isn't Francesca meant to have a chaperone? Isn't there a dance card or something? Aren't there RULES?

35. I'M ONLY 30 MINUTES IN?

36. Original Mouse Man, what are you doing? Aren't you a viscount with responsibilities?

37. "I expected conversation, I did not expect to be inspected--" then you weren't prepared at all for this. This is the ERA for that, should you not KNOW? WHAT?

38. Everything is muted and dramatic at the same time.

39. Oh, Kathony in another scene. Are they going to try and have sex?

40. Yes.

41. "I've already spent YEARS taking care of Edwina" I mean, did you?

42. "So why don't we put ourselves first for once?" I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU?

43. BRO, WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?

44. "We have our lives to be viscount and viscountess" man, pull a Downton Abbey and kill him.

45. "Think of the balls as..." You should've had this conversation BEFORE the ball.

46. "It pains me to see you upset." "Then perhaps you should not have come." Ha.

47. "and what I have learned is charmed can be taught" which is funny because Colin isn't charming no matter how much the show tries to convince me he is.

48. I suppose it's better than watching Theo James.

49. AND HE WILL FALL FOR HER DURING THE LESSONS.

50. The handshake is supposed to be a Moment and it's interesting because it's called attention to and yet also breezed by at the exact same time.

51. LOL what she wrote was SO TAME especially for a MAN in THIS society? "Is this new character the real him or is it a ploy for attention?" DAS IT??? Please be serious.

52. oooh drama, if he finds out who Lady Whistledown is, he'll destroy her life. It's just hard to think there are stakes when it's ... Colin.

DONE.

[obiwanwhumpminibang]

FAQ

What is a mini bang? How does this work?

This event is mainly a form of collaboration between fandom artists and writers. The event will start with writers creating a summary of their fic and a short excerpt which participating artists will then make artwork inspired by these fanfictions in return. During the reveal timeframe, these works will be made available to the fandom.

You might have taken part in a big bang event before, but this event is intended to be a scaled down version of this. Our word count minimum for participating writers is 3K words and the upper limit will be approximately 20K words. This event will also only span the length of three months in total.

Who can participate? How do I sign up?

Anyone (18+ though)! We do not have any requirements other than age for writers or artists, but we do ask that you join the event in good faith. 

Sign-up dates and links to google surveys are listed in the Event Information post pinned to this blog. If you wish to confirm you have successfully enrolled in the event, please contact the mods and will make sure you are. 

What level of complexity is expected for art pieces? 

We welcome any skill level for this event! All we ask is that your piece is fully complete at the time of posting and is more than just a sketch. 

Can I sign up as both a writer and an artist?

Absolutely! In fact, we’re encouraging it! As many of us in the Clone Wars/Prequels/Obi-Wan fandom circles are likely aware, there are not as many artists as there are writers in this particular fandom. We want to ensure all the writers participating are able to get artwork to go with their fanfic.

Can I sign up to make art for multiple fanfics?

Yes, we are also encouraging this! If you are an artist willing to make more than one piece for the event, we would love to be able to use this as an option in the case our writers outnumber our artists (which is very likely). When filling out your sign-up, please answer the prompt regarding how many pieces of art you are willing to make for the event. 

Keep in mind, even if you are willing to make multiple pieces, there is a chance this will not be necessary based on the sign-ups from other artists. 

Will I need to fill out two sign-up forms if I am planning to be both an artist and a writer?

No, please just indicate on the sign-up form you would like to be both when prompted. 

Are the mods planning to participate in the event?

Yes, we are both participating.

What is considered to be “whump?”

We would like the fics and artwork to be whump-centric. What do we mean by that? Well, you just need to hurt Obi-Wan really. It’s up to you whether you want to comfort him or not. We aren’t looking to limit your creativity, just as long as Obi-Wan gets some good old fashioned pain & suffering. 

Consider some of the following tags on Ao3 if you want to get a better idea of what we’re looking for: Hurt/Comfort, Whumptober 2023, Chronic Illness, Sickfic, Major character injury, Major character death, Injury Recovery, Whump, Disability

Is shipping permitted?

We would like to keep the primary focus of the event on whumping Obi-Wan. Can that include a relationship? Sure, but we encourage participants to keep this as a secondary aspect of the fic. We want to make sure artists are able to find fics that match their interests and it will be more difficult if most of the fics include ships and our artists are not interested in those particular ones. 

Can fanfics and art be NSFW? 

Yes. Artists will need to ensure writer prompts and fic information fit within what they are comfortable with during the claims process. 

Are there other rules regarding what can/can’t be written about?

No, as long as everything is tagged appropriately. Go buckwild. We encourage violence and crimes (committed against Obi-Wan, of course). 

And because it needs to be said, the mods subscribe to the “don’t like, don’t read” policy. 

How do artists pick/claim writer prompts?

Before the claims period (exact dates TBD, but the first week of February or January 31st) writers will be required to submit both a summary of their fic, as well as a short excerpt that helps to give artists a good idea of the content of their fic. Additionally, writers will list what rating their fic is planned to be and any warnings artists should be aware of before choosing to work on the fic.

During the claims period, artists will review the writers submissions (which will be anonymous for the sake of fairness) and report which prompts they would most like to work on. From there, mods will match artists to prompts based on their votes. 

How long do writers have to finish their fics?

Writers will have approximately 11-12 weeks to fully complete their fics. However, there is an expectation that a summary and excerpt (100 to 500 words) are finished in time for the artist's claims. Currently, the due date for the summary and written excerpts is January 31st. The remainder of the fic can be worked on continuously up until the reveal week. 

How long will artists have to finish their pieces?

Artists will have approximately 7-8 weeks to finish their pieces. 

Will there be a discord server for the event and is it mandatory to join?

Yes and yes. Sorry dudes another discord for another event. Mostly, it makes it easier for mass communication purposes and will be the main way us as mods will communicate with participants. You are required to join the server and the mods will send a link to the server to you once your sign-up has been approved. 

As an aside, we will not be communicating via email throughout the event other than to send a link to the discord server if you would like to receive it this way. Though the sign-ups will require an email address, our expectation is all event communication will take place on discord. 

Can fics be shared outside of the event before the reveal week?

No. All fics and artwork should only be discussed with event participants until the reveal week. The only exception to this rule is beta readers, but remind them to practice discretion. 

Are there any check-ins?

There will be one check-in for both writers and artists each. This will take place about one month from the reveal week and will serve the purpose of ensuring everyone is on track to finish their work in time.

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

I've been considering getting hair cut short. One of those bob styles cause hate how the heat makes my medium length hair feel so icky~

Read a few articles on styles and on hair. Did you know you're hair grows the fastest between ages 15 to 20 or 25 depending on article? Apparently guys after 30, may experience thinning and hair loss because hair doesn't grow as quickly after 30 and for girls it's like after 40 to 50 that hair doesn't grow as quickly according to various beauty articles.~

So I don't know, mean could cut hair short but what if it took forever and a week to grow back out? I don't even think short hair would look good on me, less variety for styling but at the same time I just dont think am pretty atm either~

I think def want to try blunt or curtain bangs tho, they look cute and are kinda childish and tbh I want the adorable factor tho maybe I am just not that cute?~

Also like never ever foam hot cocoa pple, I ordered a small hot cocoa and the barista made it like it was a latte and the taste, sooo awful but didn't want to waste the purchase. I mean if I were a more less caring or wasn't worried about being confrontational in public I would have said something~

Pillows, I need a good pillow, am sure if I had one it might help improve sleep but I've yet to find a good one. Itd have to be fluffy like a cloud and cool like a winter breeze. I saw the most adorable pillow ever but problem is it's 270 with tax. Like if it were 80, I'd consider it sure expense but might be worth it if it's as good quality as claimed by advertising.~

Unfortunately I am just not sure, I mean I'd have to save for like at least a few months to get it and do I really need it? Its childish cause shaped like a dashound in a hot dog costume... but like where would I find such an adorable pillow again, it's unique~

I need to decide Halloween costume too, I mean if do go ahead and get gothic outfit from poll could pair it with some bat wings or angel ones and have costume. But that's like putting a bulleyes on yourself, dressing like an angelic being or succubus/bat demon girl would make people stare~

Plus the demon/succubus aspect is kinda ironically hilarious cause I can't even flirt with guys or girls for that matter, little miss shy and awkward~

I was brave and contacted customer service over missing package and about refund. I was ping ponged back and forth between company and shipping provider until finally got confirmation they'd issue refund as package was lost and couldn't determine where it got lost at etc~

I didn't actually talk, it was online communication through service line but still~

I took some pictures of sky because the clouds were particularly picturesque and fluffy~ I felt so self conscious though like do I just look weird or something? Haven't you ever seen someone look up at sky with camera before?~

I am tempted to just avoid public all together until October but realistically I'll get lured out in July for cotton candy vendors, fresh squeezed fair lemonade and prize contests to try to win cute plushies <4th of july>. Do I think fireworks are beautiful? Yes but am one of those people that would want to wear noise cancelling headphones and look like a dork cause of it~ the loud noise though just unsettles me, it's like really loud thunder or lighting makes me jump scare myself sometimes~

I found a Harry Potter themed bar crawl event and golf event that I kinda want to go too. Not so much the bar as mini golf the thing is I know it'll be crowded and am not the best at mini golf soooooo do I really want to torture myself mentally by weaving through crowds, long lines and ultimately failing to win prizes by missing the getting the golf ball into the hole?~

Plus I'd want to wear a harry potter themed costume and have nothing to wear for that~

Including pictures of clouds because I can~

[hyunnieshannie]

NOTICE:

For anyone wondering where we've been:

WARNING: this is partially an explanation, partially it somehow devolved into me ranting. I apologize.

Firstly. Thank you, everyone, for being so patient with our uploads. It's been so hard to even get in the mood to write during the situation.

Life is currently stressful. Between SO MANY people breaking my trust to an irreparable level, planning my move, and finding out about a GC made specifically to shit-talk me by people I had considered friends. Finding out that someone I had trusted and CLAIMED neutrality was INVOLVED not only in said group chat but involved in not-so-neutral behaviour (sending screenshots of my messages, being in CALLS with me and telling them in said group chat "I had to mute so I wouldn't sound annoyed because she's annoying") and so on. It just got worse and worse and worse and honestly. How do you even live with yourself by doing these things? Shit fucking hurts.

you were my friends.

all of this because of a petty argument, between me and one other person that none of the others were involved in, only getting half a story and so on.

roping in other people, who have come to me and apologized because the behaviour they witnessed in that group chat made them PHYSICALLY sick... I can't even imagine what was said to make them come to me with a long paragraph, a bunch of proof and again, to make them physically sick - that's- gross, to say the least.

whatever.

it's okay.

I have a wonderful group of people who have been supporting me since everything happened.

Honestly, I want to write. It's such an outlet for me but even then- it's hard because more and more information comes out and it's SHITTY.

I'm doing better now compared to when this all started.

Swallowing those pills, and realizing that these people- were never my friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To those people involved, though it will go unheard.

You can say whatever you want about me. Call me a liar. Call me manipulative, call me a terrible person in your little group chat! It's okay I promise.

Because at the end of the day. I know my truth and have the proof to back it up which I have done for anyone who came to me and asked.

And at the end of the day, I was the one who approached you to talk about everything civilly. At the end of the day, I was not the one who made a group chat and used it to send my posts, tweets, and screenshots of private messages in order to talk badly, or to use them maliciously.

In the end, it says much more about you, than it does me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm doing my best.

I'll be back soon.

Kitty and I are working hard to get past this, as I am not the only one hurt in this situation even if the attack was at me directly.

We will be back with stronger chapters, and when we come back it will be with a fucking bang.

If you made it this far thank you,

I hope your day is the most wonderful.

thank you for supporting us

and thank you for always being kind with our works

~Mini

[dealbrekker]

YEAH that tvxq Mirotic video you reblogged awakened something in me. The moment that dude started singing I clicked off the video bcs my jaw dropped so hard I was like WAIT FUCK WAIT WAIT WAI

PLS GIVE ME RECS 🙏🏻 I know literally nothing about them beyond seeing you scream about them (Changmin and Yunho if I’m not wrong) anyway yes I find your blabbering very endearing actually. love you <3

Obviously you can't see me rn but I am smiling so big omggggg

I guess as a brief introduction I do some bullet points and then give you some songs to check out!

They go by TVXQ for the most part, but you'll also see their Japanese name, Tohoshinki, and their Korean name Dong Bang Shin Ki (DBSK). All translate to roughly Rising Gods of the East.

They debuted in 2003 as a 5 member group, and 3 of them left in 2010. Anything from before 2010 you come across will have the 5 voices. Yunho and Changmin stayed as TVXQ and "re-debuted" in 2011.

Personally I think it is totally worth it to listen to the old stuff. I don't think there ever was and ever will be a phenomenon like TVXQ/DBSK as a group of 5, and their korean and japanese songs and ballads are mind blowing.

That being said, I stuck with Yunho and Changmin more than the others after college (funnily I was introduced to them just as they were breaking up), and consider them to be the true TVXQ. They worked insanely hard to make TVXQ theirs and their vocals and talent have grown so, so much to fill in the voices that left.

So some song recs! I'll stick to the Korean songs for now, but their Japanese catalogue is NUTS. I think at this point they have more Japanese songs tbh.

3 big pre-2010 songs:

Mirotic Rising Sun Love in the Ice (this one makes me cry every time, especially the re-arranged duo version since they cover all the voices so beautifully)

All of their old songs have been rearranged for the 2 of them, so you can certainly find those versions too. All the links above are the originals.

3 big 2011 and on songs

Keep Your Head Down (their comeback as a duo song) Humanoids (this link actually will take you to the Japanese version of the song, live concert performance because it is THE Standard for live performances) --- Also, this is a facebook link, because I couldn't find this on youtube for some reason??? Let me know if it doesn't work and I'll try to find a better one!! Spellbound (my favorite song/mv experience. It's straight choreo with only 1 camera cut)

3 Yunho solos:

Drop (I'm fine it's fine it's not insane king shit or anything) Thank U (this one has some blood and violence heads up. If that's not for you, any of the live performances are stellar) Vuja De (this one has scenes from his longer NEXUS mini film which I also recommend. It samples all the songs from that particular album)

3 Changmin Solos:

Chocolate (he can cut it out, quite frankly) Maniac (so theatrical, so musical, so AHHH. I think this is my fave of his solos) Fever (I lost my ever loving mind when I saw this for the first time. Face clutching ensued.)

Picking 3 for each of them was incredibly difficult omg. I'm excited for your thoughts! Completely understandable if you don't go through all of them, but these are some personal faves.

Finally, they just did a Killing Voice episode where they do a half hour medley of a ton of songs if you prefer to sample them that way! This is where the mirotic clip I reblogged is from :D

Their new album just came out and is called 20&2 if you want to take a listen. It's their first Korean comeback is 2018 so we've all been feral lately.

Thank you for getting through this info dump. I'm glad my blabbering is enjoyed lololol XD.

[dlibskzh]

in honour of stray kids’ 5th anniversary

i would like to say that in may of 2022, i was introduced to these eight korean men in an attempt to finally get me into kpop. needless to say, it worked. my friend showed me the thunderous studio choom and i was WHIPPED. it all started with the boy with long hair…

the following week, i fell ill with the flu and decided that my time would be best spent looking up stray kids funny moments on youtube. that’s when i did some research, finding that they were a group of eight men from JYP entertainment called bang chan, lee know, changbin, hyunjin, han, felix, seungmin, and I.N. back then, i found it difficult to differentiate between seungmin and I.N, so i opted for my first ever bias, lee minho.

gradually, i got more and more invested in this group, learning that felix and bang chan were australian, lee know likes cats, han grew up in malaysia and so on. my first ever stray kids mv premiere was circus. i remember distinctly staying up until 12:30am on a school night just to see it. by then my bias had turned out to be bang chan.

soon enough, i had learnt all there is to learn, seen all there is to see, and had gotten my friends into them. i was on cloud (district) 9. by the time they announced their second mini-album MAXIDENT, i had the NOEASY album, bang chan as my wallpaper, astronaut as my favourite song, and a crippling addiction. that’s when i started questioning my bias again… the savage kim seungmin threw himself towards me with full force and his oreo hair. i was officially done for.

now, i consider myself a full-fledged kpop stan with photo cards galore. i had this vision that myself and my two best friends would get tickets to see them in sydney. i bought the tickets, not realising that my parents would have an opinion on my well-being. although i had enough money to pay for the two-day trip myself, they selfishly denied us of going. to say i spiralled into a depressive state is an understatement. i cried for hours at the fact that i wouldn’t see my saviours live and in the flesh.

i sold those tickets reluctantly. although i was lucky enough to see harry styles in sydney the day after my birthday this year, my mum posed the question: “was it worth missing out on stray kids?” and the simple answer is no. absolutely not. although i’ve been a fan of harry for much longer, he will never make me feel the same security and happiness that stray kids do. through stray kids, i have met so many new friends both irl and on the internet and i’ve never been happier.

they’re not just some silly boy band, they’re a source of light. they have taught me so much about myself and have been there for me when i needed it the most. and the funny part is, they have no idea who i am. and i’m ok with that. i can’t wait for the day they come back to australia so i can show them my love and support.

i’m also immensely proud of how far they’ve come. they are the top 4th gen boy group, gained billions of streams, and are performing at lolipalooza. something bts didn’t quite do so early in their career.

and now for a personal thank you to the members.

BANG CHAN

thank you for your endless guardianship for both stays and your members. channie’s room is always the part of my week i look forward to, no matter what language you choose to speak in. you have sacrificed so much, and i’m so proud of the leader you are today. i really wish you could see yourself through our eyes.

LEE KNOW (MINHO)

thank you for your comfort. i always seem to find stability in your electric dance performances. you have worked so hard to get to where you are today. your quirks are what makes you unique, and i believe in your judgement. please never loose sight of who you are because we love you for it.

SEO CHANGBIN

where do i even start? thank you for being strong (both physically, emotionally, and spiritually). you are what most aspiring rap sensations think they are. you are phenomenal at what you do. some people lose their sense of self when they undergo physical change, but you have never become as arrogant as them because of your grounded essence.

HWANG HYUNJIN

we all know you are the prettiest man on the planet. but what i want to thank you for is your artistic ability. there is not one single boy i know that loves to draw and sketch and read poetry more than you. i can get lost in your paintings and that says a lot about your talent. you and i also share the same personality type and zodiac sign so we are immediately the best :D

HAN JISUNG

your words are utopian. there are not many people in this world that can write a song and touch so many people in different languages. that, paired with your effortless comedic timing makes for the best friend we all dream of. thank you for bringing laughter to my darkest of days. you’re like a caffeine hit to the soul. there is a reason why we call you the fourth gen ace.

LEE FELIX

you are what everyone looks for in a soulmate. a literal beam of sunshine. it’s funny because it juxtaposes the beautiful deep rasp of your comforting voice. i am a little older than you were when you first moved to korea, and it makes me incredibly bewildered that you had the courage to leave your life behind and start afresh at such a young age.

KIM SEUNGMIN

the comedian you are. everyone always overlooks your contagious smile and your gorgeously angelic singing voice. i feel like i connect with you on a deeper, more spiritual level than most. i hope you realise just how loved you are. you may not be the member everyone notices, but you are certainly the member everyone grows to admire.

YANG JEONGIN

our baby bread. look at where you are now. barely 22 and living the life of your dreams. i wonder where all those bullies are now? certainly not as famous as you. your face is beautiful. you made me realise that self esteem is more important than what others say. you are the beauty to the beast. i can’t wait to see where your voice takes you.

[foofsterwolf]

are the first eight the new ones? tell me about them!!

The only new one that isn’t totally new is Tacenda. But otherwise. All are new! :D

So the first is Camboy Stiles which is Stiles being a Camboy and finding a NSFW website centered around werewolves. Scott visits and Stiles proposes they make a video together, here’s the snippet:

He is very happy to be back from the airport. He hates driving through D.C. traffic. Scott is led to the guest bedroom. Stiles expects him to go straight for the bed, but somehow his friend seems to have endless energy and sits on the floor in front of the boxes.

“Dude I don’t even know what is in those. Get some sleep.” Stiles complains as Scott opens the first one. He pulls out a bag of rubber bands. Stiles was wondering where those went.

“You should turn these into one of those balls.” Scott tosses them aside. Stiles gives him another look, if he’s tired, there is no way Scott -who has been up since two am- is not. “I’m not going to sleep at three in the afternoon. Sit down.” With a groan, a sigh and a stamp of his foot, Stiles complies.

Next up is Not Okay Colin. It was basically, “he will calm down if he gets pegged” as a fic. Here you go:

She moves with such grace that it knocks the breath out of Colin. That or it’s the weed talking. But the way she inhaled the smoke and blew it back out sends shivers down his spine. He could watch her for hours. She seems to have other plans however.

Her hand runs up his thigh, the action causing his longing to grow more. She’s the one. Well, every woman is the one in the moment when they collide. Whoever is there to help him when he needs it is made for him specifically. He doesn’t like to think about it too hard. He just considers himself easy to please.

“Take off your clothes,” she instructs. He eagerly complies. His hands quickly goes to undo the buttons on his branded shirt. He would do anything for her.

SK AU, oh yes. It’s for the Teen Wolf Mini Bang. I’m so excited to post it:

Blood, it covers every thought and action he does. Melds with his mind in a mix of pink and scarlet that can’t ever be truly washed away. It’s like it controls him, and commands him. He needs it. He is one with it.

It’s beautiful, washing down the walls and across the floor. Filling all of the cracks in the floor, it’s bliss. Filling him with a peace he was missing his whole childhood. He brings the knife down again, savoring the sinking and the noise that accompanies the motion. The firm releasing of the flesh under the blade, the resistance as it gives in. A high lingers over him.

Every sense is hyper-aware of every detail. His fingers slip along the hilt of the blade and he can taste the blood in the air. He feels at peace. Like a part of him that is always gone is finally where it needs to be. His soul is complete.

The whump exchange I’m writing is about Stiles surviving torture and having PTSD. Mostly it’s about him recovering slowly.

“How much sleep have you gotten?” Scott asks, he sounds tired himself. The call feels like an afterthought to a long day of work at the animal shelter.

“Plenty, you woke me up,” Stiles manages to sound more alert. He’s thankful that Scott did call him. His living through more of that dream is not his ideal night.

“Plenty? How much this week?” Leave it to Scott to hear one mention of Stiles having nightmares and then decide he needs to monitor Stiles’ every sleeping moment.

“A couple hours a night,” He lies, he is relying on Scott not hearing his heartbeat since the phone's mic can’t pick it up. He forgets that Scott has known him long enough that he doesn’t need it.

San Francisco’s finest, my darling! I haven’t actually written any of the story. I have half of the overview done though. I’ve done soooo much research for this story. It takes place in the year 1955 during real life events of the Mafia. I have 5000 words of research. Here’s Stiles’ short snippet of backstory:

Backstory: Born Mieczyslaw Genim Stilinski 1930 to Claudia and Noah Stilinski, Stiles was raised by his father to be the next in line in the Stilinski family organization. From a young age he started learning about how to run a successful crime family, by 1946 he had taken his first life in a fight with a business owner who refused to pay for protection. In 1950 he was shot two times by Isaac Lahey as Lahey defected to the new family in town, the Argents.

Tacenda is probably my current and maybe permanent magnum opus. The story is so good. I love it but it still hasn’t been properly edited:

Stiles can’t help but let out a small sigh as he paces his room. After the Nogitsune left his body the tension holding him taut like a bowstring had mostly dissipated. Mostly being the keyword. After years of only experiencing anxiety over things like possibly losing Scott, or something happening to Lydia. Having a near constant stream of it was exhausting.

In some ways he enjoys it. It’s always something to cut through the numbness he normally feels. A constant source of something for him to grasp onto. It’s hard to be bored if you can’t breathe or the words on your page are all out of order.

It’s not all gone of course, but neither is the Nogitsune. Stiles supposed that he got so used to having a voice in his head that once it was gone, the already broken collection of gray matter grasped onto it. A small comfort in an uncomfortable time. So what if he hears a voice in his head that tells him they will kill everyone close to him. It doesn’t mean he will. And it’s not like it’s all the time.

Subspace is my fictional band. I created the band for On the Road Again. Here is part of Danny’s (the drummer’s) backstory:

He grew up in a middle class family in the suburbs of Boston. His father was a doctor and his mother was a homemaker. He grew to resent the area he lived in from around the age of 10 when he started to notice how miserable his parents really were. He started playing the drums as an outlet, driving his neighbors crazy.

Once he got to high school, he quickly found his place with a group of outsiders. Frequently hosting parties at his place, he met Jack when he came by to deal pot to the party-goers. They didn’t get along at first, Danny didn’t like that Jack was dealing at his place. But he put up with it.

Last one, Stiles says they’re gay. This one is from Scott’s POV, he is woken up to Stiles and Melissa talking to each other. Stiles comes out to her before anyone else. Then starts talking about a relationship he is in. Here’s a snippet of Scott thinking Stiles and Isaac are dating:

“You two are so sweet, I don’t know why I failed to notice this sooner. Looking back, it makes so much sense.” Sweet? Isaac? He can think of a lot of ways to describe Stiles and Isaac in a room together and ‘sweet’ is not one of them.

“Isaac, sweet?” Scott mumbles into Stiles’ side. It makes Stiles laugh a little bit. Scott always forgets how ticklish he can be. He pulls back and repeats himself.

“Hush, Scotty. Go back to sleep.” Stiles says and gently pushes Scott back to the pillow. Scott doesn’t fight it. He finds the pillow far too comfortable to ignore. Plus he’s warm. He just wishes Stiles would lay back down so they can cuddle again.

“What do you think we are talking about?” His mom laughs slightly. But stands up to leave. “I’ll talk to your dad after work. Get some more rest. You boys need a lot of it after all you have gone through.” She then kisses Stiles in the forehead and ruffles his hair. She walks out of the room. Leaving just Stiles and him.

[nevertheless-moving]

Ahh apologies to @cosmere-mini-bang and my team mates @pekgna and @curlytale (Seriously, go check out their other cosmere art!!) for my extreme lack of timely communication! Mental health kicked my butt on this one a bit, but this is the mental-health-kicking-peoples-butts books series fandom so everyone has been extremely nice about it <3<3<3.

Please enjoy an extremely fluffy reunion between Tarah and Kaladin in a nebulous 'everything works out great' post-canon that can't be definitively considered an AU until at least December 6th.

Idea initially courtesy of @sorchasolas, beta by @cosmereplay. Thank you all!

If you're interested in extra robb lore the initial chat between @sorchasolas and I is below the cut. Screenshots first, followed by text transcription at the bottom:

[regular text is @sorchasolas, indents are @nevertheless-moving]

Someone: you dated. The Highmarshal Stormblessed. Tarah: he wasnt Highmarshal Stormblessed when i dated him. That was his commanding officer.

wait sorry what? his commanding officer was stormblessed? or high marshall? Mar 26 9:21 AM No his commanding officer was amaram and he was highmarshal Mar 26 3:55 PM Man I forgot that was his title

And that is such great fic concept. the windrunners are stopping in town and she's like ok so I used to know a guy named kaladin and it's not a very common name

I love tarah x kaladin its actually my fav shipe ever and i would kill a man to get a fic for it

Let me see if my motivation allows me to make a fic for it wait

So You actually inspired me to start writing for this…but it was as exes on good terms…im sorry i dont have stong tarah x kaladin feelings and started writing before i saw you say that …I gave her a fiancee named rob…hes a good guy, theyree waiting for him to get promoted to get married…he works on ships. He takes kaladin out on a boat and shows him how to sail and it's actually a very nice time.i mean people are like 'Damn man your girl is going to leave you for stormblessed!' But kaladin is happy Tarah is doing well…and he ambiguously references being in a relationship but theyre both public figures and want to keep things private

You could probably cut the Rob parts out of what I've written and have a good tarah x kaladin reuninon…like hes not even there but idk I wanted Tarah to be happy and its only been a couple hours but I've already grown unreasonable attached to the guy You should write the Tarah x kaladin fic if the inspiration spren smile upon ye

Im going to create a spinoff of your fic where i fucking kill rob/j

completely fair again he absolutly reads as a guy who appears once in act one, reappears in act five only to be firmly put on a bus to leave forever

i just love him. he's just some guy! he's literally some guy. his personality is boats.

I cannot get over the fact his name is rob

you love him too now i see

No i fucking love Rob i love mfs that fish theyre my fav

Hes just like kinda in the way

very hallmark boyfriend coded which is my problem

Oh my god what if you What if you ignored canon and made him a therapist like a full blown social worker

you absolutly could cut the rob reference in what i'm writing and have a tarah/kaladin fic. he's not even there.

LMAO??? HES NOT EVEN IN THE FIC???

no

this is about tarah and kaladin. he's working on a boat during the big procession. trying to get the promotion.

Oh my god i thought he appeared in the fic thats

Rlly funny

Also ignore the therapist thing I genuinely forgot u mentioned where he worked

i know i'm actually laughing out loud in a public place abour Rob

no jokes on you the therapy is canon now. he's taking night classes on how to lead mental health sessions.

OHMY FOD

it actually works really well because kaladin's in town as part of the queens big social reform campaign and he's checking in on the mental health programs

I. So wouldnt kaladin KNOW rob

Tarah: my fiances name is rob Kaladin: ROB??? HE GETS BITCHES??

i'm not even lying this is the premise for the fic. it is the reason he's visiting random towns. they meet at work after the first slightly awkward dinner and kaladin's like "oh hey rob" "i didn't know you worked here"

Also. This is perfect bc 9 times out of 10 social workers are… really boring people

Rob, who was trying not to cry that whole dinner:" it. it didn't come up." now they have even more to talk about though!!

WHY WAS ROB CRYING 😭⁉️

(Or trying not to ig ⁉️⁉️)

HE JUST MET KALADIN STORMBLESSED

LMAO ⁉️⁉️⁉️

HE IS COOKING DINNER FOR KALADIN STORMBLESSED WHILE KALADIN AND THE WOMEN HE LOVES MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF ARE HAVING A HEARTFELT REUNION IN THE NEXT ROOM

i have ALSO gotten really attached to Tarah's bitchy coworker who i created specifically for the purpose of being like "You're such a liar, Tarah, There is absolutly no way you — why is Kaladin stormblessed staring at you." she has a heart of gold underneath it all. like she's still a bitch. but tarah and her ARE friends.

He…he has the same name as one of the Windrunners." Mim let out a high pitched noise of delight, waving her hands. "Oh! which one? Pete Mountain Slayer? Lopen the Brilliant? Scar?" Tarah flushed, not answering.

PETE MPUNTAIN SLAYER

LOPENT EH BRILLIANT

his name is SKAR not Scar you FAKE. ASS. FANS. /j

everyone calls him scar now :/ price of fame. he can HEAR the difference the way spiderman can hear the hyphen

Sketch page for the Cosmere Mini Bang!

Sadly the fic won't be posted, but for context; Tarah (and her friends) meet Highmarshal Kaladin, now that he's a sort of hero and celebrity, and it's VERY awkward, from all angles.

[inkintheinternet]

The Fairytale of Light

By Arjuwan Lakkdawala

Ink in the Internet

I'm a writer and an ardent reader, I have authored two fiction stories. Spellrainia, and The Chains. I've read a lot of fiction, science fiction, and fantasy books throughout my life, played videos games in the genre of fantasy as well. I'm now 42 years old, what I've learned at this point is that reality is way more stranger than fiction can ever be. And science is way more magical than any fantasy.

I often hear fans of the genre of fantasy claim that it's so magical, that the authors' imaginations are incredible. I have myself sang praises of C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia). And Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland) to name a few of the luminaries of the classics.

And they are deserving of the praise. However, I was not prepared for what I was going to discover as I made my transition from fantasy fiction to mainly science reading. Before I get into that I must praise science fiction writer Jules Verne (Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea, and many other fantastic books) who really drew a line that connected the magic of science with fantasy in a way I don't think any writer has been able to accomplish after him.

With that said when it comes to fantasy I think I can sum up the premise of it in mentioning a few characters and things. Boy/Girl on quest/adventure, dragons, griffins, unicorns, invisibility cloaks, wands, fairies, wizards/witches, school of magic, and I think we are basically done.

What we truly see in these types of stories is not the unthinkable or a challenge to the intellect. They are aesthetic to the mind and are hopes of what we cannot do but would be so wonderful if we could.

After my two books my interest had completely turned towards becoming a scholar of the sciences. I'm an aspiring scientist. I may never get the title but I will my entire life pursue independent research to educate myself and teach whatever I learn by writing articles.

Having an inquisitive mind that is inclined towards healthy curiosity like the universe is a sophisticated trait to have instead of gossip.

Science has stunned me because I have never read anything in fantasy or fiction that goes beyond what would be considered unthinkable. In science I have truly found the unthinkable and the unimaginable, and it took years for many scientists to each pick up where the other had left off, after no less than a lifetime of research and study.

So I cannot state enough how valuable is the information and knowledge that has accumulated in our scientific database. We are so fortunate that the Internet gives us access to so much of these treasures.

Please excuse my mini intro I just had to express how amazed I am and how fortunate I feel and grateful to be able to learn and write.

When I think about the world needless to say there is so much to think about, and one cannot think of everything at once. We have to breakdown the pictures and study the marvels of science one subject at a time.

In this article I want to focus on light. This simple bright thing is infinitely complex and has many forms. Even in this era scientists don't fully understand it.

So let us start with some simple questions: What is light? What was the first light in our observable universe?

In basic quantum theory light is electromagnetism or we can say packets of energy called photons.

There is light we can see and light we cannot see. The visibility region of light depends on its wavelength. Typically the human eye can see light between the wavelengths of 388 to 700 nanometers. We cannot see light which is in the longer wavelength region known as infrared region, and we cannot see light in the shorter wavelength region known as ultraviolet region.

We might think that the first light in our universe started with the Big Bang (a leading theory). Because we intuitively think of the Big Bang as an explosion when it's a sudden expansion of the universe at speeds faster than light.

Albert Einstein had said that nothing in the universe can travel faster than light, that however does not include the universe itself.

I'll explain why the Big Bang could not have been bright according to the science. An example that is usually given is that it was foggy like a cloud. When we see a cloud we can only see the surface where the light was last scattered, the water molecules in the cloud disperse light.

The Big Bang had a temperature that was so high that light couldn't travel from it into the universe. It took 300,000 years for it to cool down enough for the first light - the afterglow to spread in the universe. This light is known as the Cosmic Microwave Background radiation. It is everywhere and if you turn on the TV without cable the static that you see is the signal of the CMB.

We cannot see this light glowing because as light travels vast distances it gets stretched and this reduces its brightness. However the CMB is a very valuable phenomena as it carries with it information from the birth of our universe.

Regarding the Big Bang theory there is another fascinating theory attached to it, and that is the Multiverse. Scientists agree that the model of the Big Bang could allow for the possibility of Multiverses. 

What is the theory of the Multiverse?

That when the cosmic inflation happened many universes were formed as bubbles, and our universe is in one of these bubbles and there are other universes in other bubbles, and each universe might have its own laws of physics.

Light is also known to be a colourful thing. Take the rainbow for example after the rain or when we see it through a prism. From a fantasy point of view the rainbow will always remind me of the animated series Rainbow Brite.

The rainbow scientifically is equally fascinating. As I saw on an episode of Be Smart recently (Youtube), the rainbow has streaks of dark lines, the missing light is due to the interactions of the photons with elements on the surface of the sun and in Earth's atmosphere. As the photons travel the electrons they bump into absorb bits of light changing the energy of the electrons. 

In fact scientists can know which elements light has interacted with by the missing light on an Absorbtion Spectrum, when light passes through a prism. This is so useful since we cannot take samples from the sun to know what's in it, but the light coming from it can reveal the elements in it. Even the Mars Curiosity Rover uses it to discover elements on Mars. There are prints of elements from on the sun that haven't been identified, it could be because they don't exist on Earth.

I'm speaking in brief terms about light in this article, because I'm myself still learning about it.

So what does light do apart from making things visible?

A question that has deeply intrigued me is does light have the ability to move things? Can it bring physical change?

I think the first thought that would come to mind is photosynthesis. The dominant source of metabolism on Earth. But before I get into how light effects Earth let us think about it in the universe. It is said that Earth was seeded with the building blocks of life by many supernovae that exploded, they unlike the Big Bang where bright.

The first stars formed probably from hydrogen and helium, and little amounts of lithium, and then heavy elements that life on Earth depends on were formed from these.

Example of heavy elements: 

Carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorous. Heavy elements are supposed to have an atomic number that is greater than 92.

Now let us think about how light effects Earth.

What is photosynthesis?

It is a process in which most plants absorb sunlight and with water make oxygen, and chemical energy stored in glucose. Herbivores need plants to get their energy, and carnivores eat herbivores and this sustains the circle of life on Earth.

Plants, algea, and some types of bacteria can do photosynthesis.

Then there is chemosynthesis which doesn't need sunlight.

It occurs in bacteria and other microorganisms in oceanic or inland waters. 

It is basically a process in which organic matter (energy for the microorganism) is made from inorganic matter like hydrogen or hygrogen sulfide.

Speaking of microorganisms I think at this point much like speculation about the start of our universe, we can speculate about the start of life on Earth.

First I would need here to explain that inorganic matter and organic matter is the different assortment of atoms. Chemically many types of organic matter can be made from inorganic matter with the right type of natural environment.

So in speculation perhaps the start of life on Earth was from inorganic matter that joined to make H2O (water), heat cycles warmed and cooled that water and radiation one of the forms of light introduced elements and maybe even helped in the configuration of atoms and molecules in the water that become the appropriate environment for the first life form to appear. I say speculation because like the Big Bang no one knows how life started on Earth and why we haven't detected any form of it elsewhere in our Solar System, despite there being frozen water on other planets and moons.

Scientists have still not figured out consciousness or animal instincts or what is a soul.

Astrobiologist look for extraterrestrial life by studying matter in simulation of different environments that could be in space or other planets. While in the past it was mainly considered impossible for life to exist in space, recent studies have shown that there are microorganisms that can survive the journey through space. It is speculated that maybe microorganisms were introduced to Earth via comets or meteorites.

In an article on Neuroscience news.com posted on 16, Oct 2023.

It says: "Scientists from top Institutions describe a groundbreaking Discovery: The Missing Law of Nature."

The study has been titled: 'Law of Increasing Functional Information.'

It says that evolution is not something that can only happen in living systems, but can extend to atoms, stars, and minerals.

The study says that when configuration happens in these inorganic systems that increases functionality it is evolution. But what are the forces behind the  configuration? The article states many physics phenomena like electromagnetism among other things.

Another discovery that I found interesting is posted on 12, October 2023 on Physics.org from the Minnesota University. The article is titled: "Surprising Discovery Shows that Electron Beam Radiation can Repair Nanostructures." The article says the discovery was made by accident when crystals were being studied for cracks in them, but the beam repaired the cracks when the atoms by themselves under the affect of the beam filled the cracks.

So this discovery with what we learned about the missing light in rainbows tells us that photons interact with electrons, and it is scientifically an established fact. I know in this study it was a beam of electrons but as radiation. Now photons and electrons are known to behave like waves and particles under specific conditions. This nature of photons is called wave-particle duality.

As I said there is so much to study about any scientific subject. I'll end this article here with the mention of Solar Sails, which is the idea to use the momentum of light to propel spacecrafts through space at 10% the speed of light.

Copyright ©️ Arjuwan Lakkdawala 2023

Arjuwan Lakkdawala is an author and independent journalist. Twitter/Instagram: Spellrainia 

email: arjuwan.writer@gmail.com 

Sources: Photosynthesis - National Geogrphic

Extreme Tech - The Sun's rainbow why are there so many colours missing

By Sebastian Anthony October 2, 2013

NASA - A foggy universe...origin of the microwave background

NOAA Oceanic Explorations - What is the difference between photosynthesis and chemosynthesis?

Biology Online - Chemosynthesis

ESA - Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) radiation

Space.com - Our Universe May Exist in a Multiverse, Cosmic Inflation Discovery Suggests

By Miriam Kramer

 published March 18, 2014

Space.com - What is the cosmic microwave background?

By Elizabeth Howell, Daisy Dobrijevic

 published January 28, 2022

Space.com - What is the Big Bang Theory?

By Andrew May, Elizabeth Howell

 last updated July 26, 2023

Planck Satellite - UK Outreach Site - Cosmic Microwave Background

Webb Space Telescope - What Were the First Stars Like?

Short answer: We don’t really know.

Stanford University - Interactions of Photons With Matter

Nagwa - Question Video: Describing the Electron According to Modern Atomic Theory Chemistry

ESA - Energy=light=radiation=temperature

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory - Discovery of Elements 113 and 115

Konica Minolta - Precise Colour Communication

Physics.org - When was the first light in the universe?

by Fraser Cain , Universe Today

Neuroscience news.com - Unveiling Nature’s Missing Law: Evolution Beyond Biology

Featured Neuroscience

·October 16, 2023

Britannica - Matter Rays

Science Direct - Water Worlds in the Solar System

Planetary.org - What is Solar Sailing

[lifewithoutmeds]

july 17, 2023

quick recap of last 10 days: saturday, july 8: brunch with amy. cried. facetime therapy with kelda. cried. lorena’s bday surprise. held it together. reyna was kind enough to invite me and 7 of her friends/plus ones and we surprised lorena for her bday/welcome home at a localish bar. i held back tears but tried to engage as much as i could. limited success.

friday, july 9: dinner with steven. we cooked meats; he was particularly fond of the pork jowl, thankfully, as i had a whole package of it. he brought some soju and some other plum wine drink and he listened to me cry and was a good friend and promised that we’d see each other on wednesdays when we were both in office.  sunday, july 10: considered going to church but then just slept and stared at my phone all day. tuesday, july 11: met up lorena at BJ’s for some happy hour beers and mini pizza. saw my waitress crush. cried a little.

saturday, july 15: managed to leave the condo to go hang out with amy at her house for a few hours, maybe like 1:10pm-4:30pm. we caught up and i tried to engage with her kids but they’re kinda tiring and didn’t seem particularly interested in engaging with me either. left to go to the pacoima costco where i got gas, toilet paper, eggs, and bottled water, and had my toilet paper and eggs stolen out of my cart while i put condiments on my hotdog. costco quickly replenished my stolen goods when notified, but it made me pretty sad and disappointed with the state of the world. sunday, july 16: slept for 12 hours. stared at my phone for 12 hours. ate a frozen pizza and then puked up some of it at night. monday, july 17: tiny tiny steps. texted amy and tracy throughout the day. chatted with lana for a bit on teams. tried to do a little work. did a few loads of dishes, and took out some trash and recycling. was able to walk to ralphs and buy a few items: items for cauliflower dip, a gallon of vinegar so i can clean some things. an onion. made some cauliflower dip, rinsed the cauliflower, and ate some cauliflower (health). also talked to rhiannon for a bit as we laid out our camping plans (for this friday-sunday), read a chapter in my book on borderline personality disorder, and now am journaling, so today was my most productive day in a week.

it’s such a weird sensation to feel ... so heavy, so unmotivated, so listless, so bored. the only thing i kinda appreciate is eating. like i enjoy craving a food and then thinking of how i can like satisfy said craving. i went back and forth with tracy last week on pizzas, and really considered going someplace to satisfy my desire for pizza, but laziness and cheapness caught up with me so i ended up getting two reduced/clearance frozen pizzas at ralphs and eating them over the next three days and they were gross and made me feel terrible. but sometimes i’ll think mm, prime rib sounds good. hwedupbap sounds good. i haven’t gotten as far as acquiring said foods, but it’s nice to at least have desire, in any form.

another weird thing is how i’ve gotten so addicted to my phone, even though nothing in/on my phone particularly entertains me. but it’s like i can’t tear my eyes away. FORTUNATELY i’ve stopped watching police body cam and otherwise shaming videos on the youtube and started watching more “Try Guys” and like the hot wings eating challenges. i find myself watching a lot of clips from The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, the Big Bang Theory, and weirdly Young Sheldon (all this just pops up on facebook and i just watch.) i guess it’s a positive development that at least my mind is gravitating more toward light things rather than the worst of humanity. i should be receiving my DVD’s this wednesday so i can more mindfully tune into my tv shows.

i feel like i’m at the bottom of a very big hill. a mountain, i guess. every step is hard and feels heavy and the mountain seems very big and unsurmountable and i kind of don’t quite get why i even have to climb it, but i do for some reason. i know i need to “do the work.” i know i need to figure this out, somehow, for some reason. i guess. finding motivation is hard. but every minute spent not staring at my phone i guess is a tiny tiny victory. i know that i need to stop sleeping away my problems and stop wasting away my life, but ... but it feels so hard. tracy asked today, whether i might not benefit from a healthy diet and exercise? granted, i can see how eating frozen pizzas and sleeping all day long would Not benefit me in the long run, but it’s just kinda wild how when you’re as depressed as i am, that literally feels like the only thing i’m capable of. and though i can understand conceptually how a walk might feel good, or getting groceries to make a nutritious meal might benefit me, it’s soooo stupidly hard to just get any momentum whatsoever.

i hope today was momentum. 

week ahead: tuesday: hoping to do a little laundry and gather up some items for the camping trip. wednesday: in office. thursday: happy hour with danielle friday - sunday: camping in french camp with rhiannon

i’m mildly dreading camping because it’s been so hot lately, and sometimes it’s hard to do things, like meal prep or clean up, and i’m a little nervous that i won’t have fun because of the way i’ve been feeling lately and i don’t want to sort of ruin one of the only things that’ve made me feel better in my life, but also, i’m telling myself that it’ll be good to be out in nature, to not stare at my phone, to focus on something outside of myself. i’ll bring a couple books and try to do some fishing. i hope it’ll be okay.

mood: 2.23

[breesperez139]

So we know that both Jason and Danny have to be good or at the very least decent enough actors to get the lead roles right?

Just imagine the Wayne family’s reaction to Jason’s acting and almost having a heart attack every time he’s in his psychotic JD behavior. At first it’s all like “wtf is Jay doing onstage??” and “oh i am so blackmailing him for this” and they do but the whirlpool of emotions Jason puts them through is almost not worth it. But they’re Wayne’s so they just blackmail him even harder for it.

When Jason is singing Freeze Your Brain, he doesn’t really get into the song until the chorus. He gets even more passionate the moment Danny steps on stage which makes the show all the more mesmerizing. Batfam thinks this is Jason’s cry for help. Jay is just excited to sing with Danny. Like yah the lyrics are kind of relatable but Danny is right there and looks oh so very attractive in that skirt.

Danny and Jason were both nervous about Dead Girl Walking. Which is normal considering they don’t know each other. But then they start doing rehearsals and Danny looks at Jason like no one else matters and it quickly became Jason’s favorite song.

Logically the Wayne‘s know the gun Jason pulls out during Our Love Is God is fake but holy fuck the mini panic attack they had when they saw the gun is absolute gold. Not that anyone noticed but we know and that’s what matters.

At this point the Wayne’s start forgetting this is a show and truly believe Jason and Danny are in love during Seventeen. Who knows how long they’ve been rehearsing for this show. It’s not impossible to think Jason started and hid a relationship from them.

Duke and Barbara themselves never bothered looking into the cast or how they interacted with Jason. They just made sure he wasn’t caught so everything would go as planned. And while Duke and Danny are friends, Danny can keep a secret when he wants to, Duke knows this better than anyone.

Meant To Be Yours, Dead Girl Walking (Reprise), and I Am Damaged thoroughly convince the Gothamites attending the show that Jason and Danny will become the next rogue couple to debut. Jason and Danny are putting so much emotion into this show people are starting to believe they aren’t acting anymore.

The Wayne’s honest to god think Jason’s being influenced by the pit during these songs. Jason acting like JD gave everyone anxiety. They kept tensing and relaxing the entire show but these three songs were on another level. They wanted him to find a hobby (and they love that he found one) but why did he have to choose this musical.

That being said, Danny really shouldn’t be attracted to Jason while he’s singing about their toxic love and killing an entire high school population. Or while he’s counting down and banging on the door. Especially not while he’s counting down and banging on the door. He’s just glad he blushes in green making it look like he wants to puke instead of get railed against the door.

The show ends and the Wayne’s don’t know what to do. It’s all awkward and shit until Jason sees them and freezes up making the tension worse. Danny (who simply chooses to ignore the tension) starts laughing that’s quickly followed by Duke’s and Barbara’s. Jason looks at Danny in betrayal making Danny laugh even harder. The Wayne siblings (plus Steph) immediately start teasing Jason about his performance.

They still think Jason should see a therapist asap but they already knew that, that’s old news. Jason being a theater kid and performing the one character who shares his name, happens to prefer guns as his main weapon, and then dies in an explosion, is not.

Jason doesn’t know why he did it.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol in his system or maybe it was his subconscious still being salty about his family’s comments about him not having many hobbies.

He reads!

What’s wrong with reading!?

Sure, it was mainly about work now a days but that’s besides the point!

Apparently it wasn’t good enough to be counted as a ‘hobby’ by the others.

So when he was walking back from a bar on his night off and got hit in the face with flyer about auditions for the local theater group Mixed up Manhattan he stuffed it in his pocket and said “fuck it”.

Needless to say he was mildly confused when he woke up the next day to a call back for JD from Heathers the musical.

He was more confused when he found out his “Veronica” was being played by a dude.

Turns out Mixed up Manhattan was a group who did not care about gender as long as you could bring a character to life.

Now he was in too deep to back out, if he was going to act out a scene with someone. Than he was going to put his whole dick and balls into it.

It was only fair for “Veronica” after all.

~~~~~

Danny was slightly surprised when he went back to callbacks and saw Drunk Dude in the group.

Danny found him silly and charming in the waiting room the other night but he was clearly intoxicated when he auditioned. Danny thought that the chances of seeing him again was very slim.

But there he was, looking a little bit out of his comfort zone.

Did he even remember auditioning?

As they were called up for a scene he flashed the other a smile and felt his core loosen with the other guy’s shoulders.

Turns out, Jason had some good singing chops.

~~~~~~~~

Jason Todd lands a lead in a musical.

The musical about death and sex.

His family must never know.

The second one of them finds out his life is over again.

They will go out of there way to embarrass Jason in front of Danny and there will go the whole dark and mysterious thing he has been trying to do.

[benefits1986]

Veni, Vidi, Vici & KD

They say that when you lose someone dear, try getting a dog. 

I had a series of traumatic childhood experiences involving interactions with dogs. But, when mother dragon expired, I came across a book that talked about getting a dog for therapy. Of course, I laughed my head off when I saw this. How would a furry beast who does not talk help me get by during this fucked up chapter? Weeks passed and the days and nights got darker. I had to do something so different to take my mind off the agony alongside the emotional baggage I purposefully shut down for 8 long years.  I got my first dog after a mini retreat. I was interviewed over breakfast by the matriarch of I’s home. She looked at me intently and asked me why I want a dog. I told her that mom died and that I’m giving a dog and me a good try. She was a bit surprised but followed up with how sure am I in as far as being a responsible dog owner is concerned. I blinked back and told her that though I didn’t have a dog, I needed a distraction. I also told her about my dog traumas but this is my chance to pivot. She smiled a small yet warm smile and asked me if I am sure. I nodded. She told me that she and I would help me make arrangements. I told her one more thing: I prayed for a dog that does not bark. She was caught off guard and laughed. Meron daw bang ganun? I told her that in the mini retreat, I asked the Holy Spirit to specifically give me that gift --a dog that does not bark. She shook her head and wished me luck. Crazy, right? But, all things are possible, I guess.  During this mini retreat, a good friend approached me and asked how I was coping with the loss. Back then, even when I am in a super safe space, I felt attacked when asked how I am. Hello, old life. You’re crazy and sometimes, unbelievable. I told her I’m OK but not quite. ‘Di ba? Pa-strong. :D Yep. I was that bitch ages ago. She pulled me to the side and asked me if she could share something to me. Inside, I was gasping; but I said it’s fine. Fire away. She took a deep breath and told me that my mom was with me during the whole mini retreat. I pushed back and asked what’s her basis for saying that. She shared that she has been seeing someone with short hair who seems to be touching my shoulders during certain parts of the sessions. I told her that I didn’t feel anything. She told me that she has been seeing me from afar and that even when I’m not able to voice out my emotions, she felt that I’m under so much emotions. I told her that it’s but normal to be drowning in emotions given my state. She smiled and patted my shoulder gently. She told me that mom is always with me. I didn’t reply but smiled back at her.  Trust issues: affirmative; but today, this rusty memory revisited me. Ang lala ko talaga noon, super. Sana ngayon, ‘wag na ganun because the universe is sending me people who are really happy to help. Enter New Amsterdam x Max x Helen here. Cuties. ;)  Days passed and Tita D told I that I’m getting the dog. He’s a shih tzu that is considered an alpha dog. Tita D asked me if I can handle ang alpha dog. Since this dog is a male, an alpha male dog shouldn’t be tough to down. LOL. I researched about the whole pawrenthood top-line workflow and told myself that I have the basic skills to make this work. I sighed. Mga naggagawa nga namang shit para maka-move on noh? LOL. Actually, tawang-tawa ako kasi 2 ‘yung prayers ko noon: love life na worthwhile pero mas prio ko ‘yung dog na not barking talaga. Twisted shit.  I actually got a solid NO na NO sa love life. Lord, naman. Lordeeeee. Lordeee. Dad told me that mas madali daw ‘yung dog na not barking kesa sa love life. I shared this crazy story to him a few years back lang din. Sabi ko, grabe naman siya. Sabi ni dad, mas grabe ako. Why the hell did I pray for those things daw when in fact, super different sila ng takada. Sabi ko siguro kasi sad talaga ako noon and wala na talaga ako sa hulog. Years back, I knew why that NO had to be a solid NO. LOL. Might share it but not sure when. :D  And then, this tiny pup was handed to me by an old lady who seemed to be a mix of the prayerful and the silly. :) She happened to be the best friend of I’s mom. Syempre, she gave me super specific reminders and to do’s. Ingatan ko raw ‘yung dog and that ‘yung two siblings niya owned by I’s family na. I brought the tiny bundle home. Shet. Hindi siya tumatahol, mhie. I had to super if totoo so, I waited all day and night to hear him bark. He barks a bit naman when he slept. Cutie bark. I needed to find him a name which is not easy. One random day, I decided that since mom’s name is Veni, I’d name him Vici. Dad warned me that I’d most likely get another dog and that dog will be named Vidi. I looked at him with so much irk vibes. He told me, bahala daw ako.  Vici is a sickly dog. I remember how much trust issues surfaced kasi feeling ko lahat na lang talaga, not working for me. Even my dog that I prayed for, down the dumps. But, like my journey with my mom, ‘di ako susuko without a good fight. To be specific, minsan lang magkasakit si Vici pero laging deliks level. He does not give a warning kasi very calm and sedated ang personality niya. Plus, since he doesn’t bark talaga, sobrang hassle to communicate but, ginusto ko ‘to. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.  During one of his doc visits, we were told to consider getting another dog because Vici has anxiety when left alone. We needed to go to work kasi so mostly, he’s home alone. Natawa ako. Ako nga, living my “alone” time of my life pero kinakaya ko e. Tapos, siya, need daw ng kasama? Wow. Wow lang. Ako na naman maga-adjust.  I reached out to the lady who handed me Vici. She laughed and told me that even when Vici is an alpha male dog, he really thrives with his siblings. An alpha male dog craves purpose. JUSQ, MHIE. Hanggang sa dogs ba naman, may ganitong kaganapan? She assured me that getting another dog will make me feel better.  So, I looked for another dog. This time, I wanted a more active dog. Okay na if barking kasi natawid ko na ‘yung non-barking dog. Vidi came in the picture and shem, sobrang iba kay Vici. Alpha male dog all over kasi when I first visited him, hinawi niya ‘yung kapatid niya. He looked at me with his smug face. LOL. Sabi nung breeder, okay naman si Vidi kaso nga lang, alpha male dog much. Natawa ako. Super cutie nung kapatid ni Vidi pero may angas si Vidi na poppin’. Parang hinahamon ako kung until where can I take him. Sold. Sige. Mag-tuos tayo, Vidi. I knew his name before he came into my life.  Syempre, alpha meets alpha is always interesting. But, these two aligned agad. Not like, instant pero mabilis. They have different personalities. Vici, sedated. Vidi, as a spaniel, talagang parang AUV ang galaw. Also, alam ko naman buff spaniels are more likely to be aggressive and I really had to break his ego para mag-fit in siya sa new home niya. Again, during the first two months, trust issues na naman ako because Vidi is so aggressive talaga but we aligned din naman along the way. Sungit spaniel na mala-cat ang personality but his lambing is worth watching out for. Minsan lang, almost non-existent pero sapul. Saktong mix for Vici. Clingy sila both at times but they have their own world in the same manner that they co-exist. Para silang Batman and Robin. Si Batman si Vici. Si Robin si Vidi.  Vidi is pretty healthy and sturdy din kaya these two are easy to manage.  Vici got super sick in 2019. Crazy kasi years passed and wala siyang anything major health concern. His emergency operation took place during my first day in my current org. Super hassle pero as soon as I got off, I rushed to Vici’s side. He bled and stood up and walked to me. Paawa much. LOL. He licked me and told him that he did a good job talaga. I think this was when I really saw dad supporting me and mga kabaliwan ko. Since I can’t skip work though puwede naman talaga, I gave specific instructions to my dad. Once Vidi wakes up, dad should be in front of Vici. Para chances of survival will be better. Chariz. Dad messaged me na nakakaiyak daw pala mga aso. LOL.  Side Note: Before this episode, dad told me, kuha na lang daw new dog because Vici’s chances of survival was 50-50. I didn’t back down and aligned with Doc A. Doc A naman since alam na niya ako and si Vici told me that 60-40. I wiggled baka puwede 70-30. Add daw niya 10% from her best effort. Opak. Bait talaga ni Doc A, noh? The best kahit basher sa alis ko sa Manila. :D Doc A told me that Vici could make it and if he didn’t, it’s time to let go. LOL. Pero naiiyak kami both nung alignment namin. First time ko makiusap talaga na galingan nila ni Vici kasi marami na silang tinawid. Doc A told me that she’d make sure that Vici will see dad as soon as he opens his eye. Thanks, Doc A talaga kasi even when I was at work and super kaba ko not about my first day because super poppin’ hiring manager and team mates ko, I was dying inside talaga. Alipin ako ng sistema pero need ko kasi mahal ‘yung procedure ni Vici. LOL.  Dad told me na good thing I didn’t give up on Vici even when super alangan na. I told dad that there’s no harm in pushing it because Vici is my pangangay.  Recently, I got KD. Funny ng dad ko kasi sabi niya, since birthday szn ko naman daw, ‘yun na lang daw gift niya sa akin para sure na gusto ko. Sabi ko, bahala siya kasi nakakaasar siya. LOL. Basher all the way. Wala rin ako naggawa kasi I was on a trip and pag-uwi ko, andun na sa bahay si KD. Sweet naman pero gusto ko kasi ma-check muna si KD before bringing him home. I can’t afford to have a companion dog for my 2 senior dogs na not giving. LOLOLOLL.  KD got his name from Kwentong Dagat. I stayed here a lot of time the past years. Nung wala pang masyadong tao. LOL. Kwentong Dagat is my safe space without me knowing it. It is where my felt and lived healing started. But, KD is also KULIT and KAGULO. Ibang-iba sa mga kapatid niya. Black sheep even which reminds me a lot of me. LOL. We’re still fine-tuning our relatively new dynamics and I can really see that Vici and Vidi are still not accepting his presence. But, we will get there. ;) Unti-unti. I think that I need to keep being gentler with KD kasi truth is, I’ve been pressuring him to fit in instead of standing out much.  Alsooooo, after 10 years, I discovered that Vici barks. Small but firm. Very alpha. I love. LOL. Every time KD is sizing him up, Vici does not back down. Cutie. So, Vici is a dog that barks ONLY when needed. ;)  Ah, to be a pawmom of 3 alpha male dogs talaga. Always crazy good and crazy shit. Really hoping that Vidi’s mass will not be anything major. Sana fat deposits lang or something we can address easily. Hyperinflation szn but, kakayanin natin ‘to. Ginusto ko ‘to. Gusto ko ‘to. All for my kiddos, sige lang inyo na lahat ng sweldo ko. LOL.  These three taught me to tap my emotions talaga which is my major pitfall, my huge ass red flag. LOL. Totoo talaga amidst trust issues ‘yung sabi sa book. Dogs teach people compassion na walang makakapigil. Dogs also teach people to be more open. Dogs allow people to be caring without being too much nor too little. Dogs live the loyal life bound by unconditional love even when you deserve it or not. HUY. Hugot yarn? Aga-aga, gagi! :D To me, dogs teach people that life is short and that time is but a social construct. Dogs also make people feel safer after long and winding days involving trust issues management. Dogs show people that unconditional love is real, felt and lived. Ergo, maging dogs na lang talaga lahat ng tao sa earth para wala ng chances of WWIII. CHZ.  PS: Thank you to my kiddos talaga because my most recent (like this week) na MBTI result which I take on my own every two years yielded a surprising result. :D Medyo nag-improve na ako sa pagiging too much thinker and more feeling na rin. More fine-tuning pa pero darating din tayo diyan. 

[roseclaw]

Hello 👋

1, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 16 for the questions please 🥰

Hi nonny! Thanks for asking!

1: Do you have a word-count goal for the upcoming year?

I usually have a goal of writing about 500 words per day, plus NaNo. This comes out to about 200k. Some days I write 0 words, some days I write 5,000. I don't force myself to write, because that never ends well.

5: Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

My first WIP to complete is for an exchange, and therefore hush-hush. I do have many other WIPS, though, and will end up having a whole bunch more. :D I am also considering doing ficlets for this challenge:

6: Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list?

Fic for the sangcheng mini bang. Neither exist at the moment, so I need to get a move on with both. XD

7: Will you change anything about the way you interact with other writers?

I'm trying to be more active on dreamwidth again. I've fallen out of the habit of blogging, and I miss the community of LJ, but that's never coming back.

8: Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

There are some ideas I have that are mostly just vibes? But I usually try to tackle any idea I have. If I can't, then WIP Amnesty it is.

16: Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted?

Ugh. My winery AU. I want this fic to be finished, but every time I try to work on it, I'm distracted with another shiny idea. I have too many ideas. /o\