#considering I'm still on the growing side of many writer blogs

[rikandadefest]

#RikAndAdeFest2025 Countdown! ⏳

Welcome back to the countdown! Today, we'll be hearing from the other scumbag involved in running the fest about what it means to them:

@neil-neil-orange-peel 🍊

Ah, the Rik and Ade Fest. What can I say about our ongoing quest to fill the scumbags fandom with more fic and art? The fest is something I'm quite proud of, actually. This is a very small fandom, which encompasses some very old shows - it's not exactly the most fertile place for events like this, and yet we're up to round five! In my book, five is a pretty good milestone to hit, no? I mean, as a kid, turning five years old felt like a big deal.

As for why I got involved in the fest behind the scenes: first of all, I'm lucky to have such enthusiastic and creative mutuals. Dy is always taking part in fandom events; they're an expert at them. The Rik and Ade Fest was their idea, and they came to me asking if I'd be interested in it. People who know me may have gathered I really like organising and just generally being part of creative projects *coughs in Scumbag Monthly* so this was a no brainer for me!

One of the things I enjoy about participating in the fest - perhaps weirdly, considering the shows and characters we're dealing with - is the structure it gives me. I know when certain posts need to be scheduled for the fest blog; I know when the two month window I'll have for writing is; I know when the deadlines are. I'm pretty awful at sticking to fanfic update schedules when left to my own devices 😅 so the fest helps me there. So far, touch wood, I've always managed to rustle something up. And that's the whole point, at the end of the day.

I also really love the collaborative aspect of the fest. All creative endeavours are intrinsically collaborative, even when you think they're not, but the fest is very obvious about this in the sense we're literally making art and fic based on another person's idea. My favourite bit of any fest - aside from the reveal of everyone's work on 12th June - is the reveal of the prompt list. I love scanning through the shiny new ideas, as well as reminding myself of which older ones are still available. Finding the one that sparks a plot bunny in me is always an exciting moment. Plus, watching the number of prompts grow into the thirties has been very satisfying.

I think there's something to be said too these days about fandom as a space for fannish interaction rather than silent consumption. Fanfic writers and fanartists aren't automated bots making content for your next serotonin boost - they're your fellow fans suffering from the same brainrot as you! Find your people and appreciate them! ❤️

So, do I have a favourite out of the fics I've written? Hard to say. I'm quite fond of The Day of Rest because of the TYO/Bottom crossover. Rick and Vyvyan as Richie and Eddie's nephews will always be one of my most treasured headcanons. I think I rushed the climax too much, but I enjoyed writing everyone's dialogue. My other favourite is probably Alan B'Stard is Feeling Very Peculiar. 2022 seemed to be the year of the B'Stard for me, and I do have a habit of getting mildly obsessed with the psychologies of evil fictional men...

My little fest side quest for a while now has been to write for as many different Rik and Ade shows/films as I can. This year, I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for anything Drop Dead Fred, Kevin Turvey (my beloved ❤️), Comic Strip, or maybe even something else! Who knows! I'm looking forward to everything starting up again soon.

The fanfiction written by @neil-neil-orange-peel for various Rik and Ade Fests can be found here:

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

💞🎉✅ <- for writer’s ask gam

HAAAIIII FREN!!!!

💞 Who's your comfort character?

I've had several over the years, but definitely Sonic himself! His easygoing and kind demeanor, plus his encouragement and simple comfort (such as "just smile") and akndknfkzmsnfdnsk have legit helped me during some tough emotional times. Sometimes I'll be having a rough time at work or after an argument and then some random scene with him will come to mind, like when he's telling the player in MOSTH, "When negative thoughts hit you, let it pass, and keep living," or when he followed Chris to his room in that one X episode and just asked ever so gently, "What's wrong? Why are ya sad? 🥺" and just his undying positivity and "keep going" attitude overall GAAAAAHHHHH he basically cured my teenage social anxiety by 98% and he's just my favorite and he always puts such a smile on my face so YES SONIC IS MY COMFORT CHARACTER BY FAR 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Huh! I'd say... like, if there aren't mistakes or inconsistencies in it, if I had fun writing it, if it's completed, and (partially) how many people liked it and how much they liked it, are all factors! I can think of a few I've written that I definitely consider successes! 💙

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Haha! I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately. 🤣 One thing I tend to write a lot is an entire "trope" of hurt/comfort. A lot of the projects I have, both fanfics and my own OG writing, usually center around one damaged person finding another damaged person, and even though they can't "fix" each other, they grow to love (whether platonically or romantically) and help each other. That's a theme in my own book series (I've been thinking of making a side blog for that for a while but I'm still on the fence). And it's something I love to explore with Sonic and Tails. It's a bit of a theme in my Enchanted AU as well. I could probably psychoanalyze my brain to understand why I like writing this so much, but that's for another time. 🤣💙

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[singsongraptor]

So this is my little kalanchoe plant. This is the only indoor subject I've had to photograph in at least 2 years. The flowers are the size of pennies.

Meanwhile, here are a couple of the shots I made with my camera and which you'll get to see on my side blog @lunarrisephotography when the queue spits them out. You can also see many of the pieces I've made with outdoor subjects, which make up the bulk of my portfolio

I'm posting this just to say, photography is an art, a conglomerate of skills, both technical and artistic, and I work hard at them. Just as anyone can pick up a pencil and doodle or write, so can anyone pick up a camera, but that doesn't necessarily make them an artist/writer/photographer. That isn't wrong or ableist to say.

Yes, I'm still upset that people have insulted me and my craft by saying that AI art is "just like" photography and that photography is merely allowing the technology to create an image via button press, simply recording information, nevermind that cameras aren't stealing thousands of pieces of other people's creations and compiling them.

I didn't spend two hours with this plant friend and my tripod and camera in front of a window to be treated with such contempt, or 3 hours editing after the fact. I don't spend hours outside, with my disabilities no less, taking photos of the tiniest flowers and plants, growing from lawns and sidewalk cracks, holding my breath and fighting the wind for clear shots, to have my work reduced to a button press that I'm barely responsible for.

This photo was taken with a phone camera, but compare it to my morning glories, or my other cellphone photos on my page, all taken with the same phone as this photo of my kalanchoe. The difference is my effort and my eye, my skill and artistry with my tools, and whether or not I used them vs recording information, not *only* the technology in my hands.

My Olympus, my fancy camera, means nothing without the skills I cultivated and am still cultivating. You can see where I've learned something new just in the last year with my Olympus, just by comparing my macros last year to the kalanchoe! The improvement wasn't just getting a new lens, I learned a new shooting and editing technique too!

Even if you only compared macro shots from 2022, you can see where I learned new editing techniques. I am almost entirely self-taught, as many artists are, and like most, if not all, artists, I constantly seek to improve. AI art steals from the hardwork, dedication and love for art. It does not improve, it only steals someone else's improvement and claims it as its own.

I shouldn't be surprised since the technology was created by entitled tech bros and the colonizing impetus among that group is strong, nevermind that they are often rather lazy, but my point is this: support actual artists and stop insulting those of us that do digital art.

Also consider, AI stealing photographers' intellectual property and art is also being used to create propaganda and is destroying the ability to utilize photography for *actual information recording*. Comparing photography work to their theft is going to end up destroying the ability to use photographs as evidence and in journalism. It's already casting doubt on genuine historical photography as the artifacts from digitization, decay of film and photos, and the limitations of historical photographic technology have similar looks to the mistakes that AI makes when it fakes a photograph, and that will lend itself to revisionism and propaganda as well.

[not-poignant]

random genuine question. how do you write a book? I've written multiple fanfics successfully and want to be a full time author nothing too crazy but just enough to make a good living. But I'm finding myself stuck when it comes to executing my original ideas. I plan them out well but when it comes to the acts/chapters and actually writing I can't seem to pull the trigger. I understand it takes time and I may just be overthinking but still I'm worried I won't be able to execute.

Hi anon,

You are probably better off asking someone who writes books for a living, because I definitely don't, and when I did publish two novels, they have never done as well as my serials (and writing a serial is very different - for me at least - to writing a book). Like, they did moderately well, but I consider myself a professional serial writer and not a novelist, and those two things are 100% not the same thing. (Which is also maybe where you're struggling.

Writing fanfics successfully can often have zero bearing on whether you can (or want to) write a novel. Writing one is not writing the other! The processes are totally different, unless you were just writing novels and splitting them up into serial chapters and then, well, you wouldn't be here asking this question sdalkfjad)

There are some great novel-writing books out there, and many can be requested through libraries, and many of their authors have blogs or similar where they teach many of their techniques online. There are so many different ways of structuring a novel (and it can change depending on your genre, and I don't know what your genre is either!) I can't recommend any personally, because I don't read them, because I don't really write novels.

When it comes to actually sitting down and actually writing anything of length though, it's sometimes down to asking yourself a few things:

What feelings are happening in you that hold you back? Are you afraid it won't be good? (In which case there's no way but through, anon, you have to write some bad writing in order to get to the good writing, it's a mandatory part of the practice - a garden needs shit/manure in order to grow, lol).

Are you bored because you planned it all out? (In which case you may need to look into writing novels without plotting them first).

Are you more excited for future chapters instead of present chapters? (Write out of order! And make the present chapters shorter).

Are you more interested in fanfiction's regular feedback from readers? (In which case consider creating a reader group for your original writing, or finding a really good beta who can give you that feedback). (I can't get dopamine from writing novels, so I don't write them, I just find the process boring in a way that's pretty intolerable to me).

Is the novel too huge of a road into meeting your characters and setting/s in prose? (Consider writing small oneshots for your characters and world first. Consider writing side characters in the world in a 2-3k fic. Treat it like responding to a fanfiction challenge. It can often make access to the world a little easier).

Is something about the story actually broken? Do you need to go back to the drawing board re: the strengths of the characters?

Learn how to fall in love with your characters the way you've fallen in love with fanfic characters. If they're not strong enough to earn that 'love'/'obsession' - make them stronger. (Although, frankly, sometimes you can only learn that love by writing them. Think of it this way: When you start writing fanfiction, you've already invested hours of time into learning the characters and their depth. You need to invest at least the same amount into your own characters and their stories before you might stumble across that same love).

Outside of that you can apply any number of techniques to novel writing, but ultimately, a lot of it is sitting down and just writing (sometimes pretty terribly) and learning how to overcome writer's block and understanding why it's happening for you.

For me, I learned that the cons of writing novels just didn't outweigh the pros. The lack of dopamine feedback re: readers doesn't play well with my unmedicated ADHD brain, which means writing to no feedback at all tends to leave me extremely unmotivated. And fitting the novel formula re: story lengths ultimately just didn't work with me either, most of my long stories naturally hit or exceed the 250k mark, which is fine for serials, but not fine for most novels outside of epic fantasy or hard science fiction.

So I would also recommend sitting down and asking yourself what did fanfiction give you that made you able to write it? And what do you need novel writing to give you, to make you able to write it? Likewise, ask yourself - do you want to write original novels? Or original serials? There's a good market for both now, and novels =/= serials. Like, they are naturally written in different ways!

Do you think you would struggle to write an original serial the same way that you're struggling with novels? All of these things are important to ask yourself.

But ultimately, just... I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to force yourself through the struggle, and write stuff while groaning because you know it's bad, to get to the other side. It's like learning any new skill - and fanfiction writing does not naturally lend itself to writing novels with everyone! You are learning a brand new skill!! Just because I know how to draw with pencils doesn't mean I know how to paint with watercolours, and I may be even more intimidated to learn watercolours because I know now how long it took to get the hang of fanfiction. Sometimes you just have to actually sit yourself down and be like 'okay I have to get real good at being real bad at something for a little while, even if I hate it.'

Chances are it won't be as bad as you think anyway, and then even if it is, well that's a normal part of writing a novel. That's why the first draft is the first draft, and not the final product. :)

[purrincess-chat]

Actually thank you for being open towards pre reveal adrinette. I still do have kind of mixed feelings about how the ladynoir relationship was never acknowledged in transmission but I hope that'll be solved in the next part hopefully? But I've seen too much of negativity towards pr dating and it kind of started affecting my opinions too? Seeing your post was so refreshing tbh

As someone who has been around the block a few times, I totally get what you mean. There are a lot of fandom scholars out there posting their opinions as fact, and it can get difficult to root out how you feel, especially if it's a popular blog doing it or someone you admire and a lot of people are agreeing with them or they're being aggressive to people who disagree. I've seen blogs vague posting about me for simply defending pre reveal Adrinette and responding in ways that completely miss the points of my posts and simply just take issue with me daring to think pr Adrinette is a good thing bc what about their precious side that's getting robbed??? And honestly I don't really care, I'm not a stranger to people in this fandom vague posting about me or hating me or shit talking about me in discord servers. I've been here a while and been through my fair share, so at this point I just shrug it off.

My main advice to you would be to take every post you read with a grain of salt (including and especially mine) because everyone has their bias. For me, I've always loved Adrinette, so even my posts can be considered biased because they're my favorite side of the square, though I do try to be objective. But for me, I don't really understand why people thought Adrinette wasn't going to have something pre reveal? To me it just makes sense, but I've seen so many people being like 'No hate but pr Adrinette is the worst possible choice the writers could ever make and it's so boring and terrible and I hate it with every fiber of my being and what about my favorite side how actually dare the writers write their own show in the way they intended instead of catering to my hyper niche fanfiction ideas.' And like... people can have their opinions. I'm not saying everyone has to like every single thing about this show, I know I don't. But a lot of the posts I've seen have been claiming that pr Adrinette doesn't make sense (it does if you've been paying attention) or is a detriment to the love square (still scratching my head at this one). My favorite argument I've seen is people saying that the show is called Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir so why the hell are they focusing on anything other than their superhero sides, and I just have to wonder sometimes if people are watching the same show as me.

(more salty under the cut, so read at your own risk)

Like? Correct me if I'm wrong, but Stormy Weather was the first episode to ever premiere of the show, and within the first five minutes of that episode if you ignore the opening credits, we learn that Marinette is in love with Adrien. It's basically one of the first things we learn about her, and her love for Adrien has been a staple of the show and the love square dynamic, just as Adrien's love for Ladybug has been. This show has always been about their civilian lives just as much as it's been about their superhero alter egos. If it was only ever about the superheroes it would be very flat and wouldn't leave them much room to develop and grow. That's why the love square has four sides. That's why the love square exists at all. But this show has always included their lives as civilians, idk why people are shocked. Even the opening credits start out with "I'm Marinette, just a normal girl with a normal life." Yes, she's secretly a superhero, but the first thing they tell us about her every episode is that she's a regular girl. And after 5 seasons, I'd assume people would realize that her civilian development is just as important as her superhero development. Adrinette and LadyNoir have always been the leading sides for a reason. This show isn't only about her and Adrien being superheroes, it's also always been about them being real kids with real problems who just so also happen to moonlight as superheroes when the need arises. Yes, it's a villain of the week show, but the plotlines have always run further than that. S5 especially runs deeper than that.

I dunno, maybe I'm biased, but Adrien falling for Marinette always felt more plausible to me than her falling for Chat, and s5 has explored both of those outlets, but to me, the superheroes come with too many strings attached for them to be anything more than partners. Especially after everything that has happened the last season and a half up to this point. Their friendship and partnership is a keystone of the love square. Their dynamic works best as far as focusing on their mission and getting the job done when they're platonic. We've seen numerous times throughout canon that when one of them has feelings, they get distracted and something goes wrong. Their love for each other is their strength and their weakness as Tikki and Plagg pointed out in Transmission. And [SPOILER] as we've seen in some of the later episodes that were released thanks to Gloob's vanity, the LadyNoir dynamic is working out great for them platonically.

I think one thing I haven't seen people talk about (which granted I know people were waiting to watch the later episodes until after Kwamis Choice airs), but LadyNoir is starting to push the boundaries just as much as Adrinette just from a different angle. They're slowly letting walls down and talking about their personal lives, which is something they forbade themselves from doing prior. They're growing closer as friends without any ulterior motive behind it. In the past when Chat asked about her love life, it was because he was fishing to see if he had competition for her affection, and Ladybug rightfully shut him down. Now they're a lot more carefree and open with each other just from what we've seen of them past these episodes. Being friends is benefiting them, and it's going to benefit them when the reveal rolls around. To me, LadyNoir was always meant to be the best friends of the love square, while Adrinette was always meant to be the lovers. That's the impression I've always gotten from canon ever since s1. I knew there would come a day when Adrien loved her back pre reveal. It just always felt like a natural progression for their relationship to me.

And as I mentioned in my previous post, Adrinette needed the development they're getting. LadyNoir is solid, they came back together stronger, so now they need to help Marinette overcome her trauma surrounding Adrien or the reveal will be an absolute fucking disaster. Like could you imagine Marinette moving on with someone she deems as being "safe" only to turn around and discover that he's the very boy she fucked everything up with? How damaging would that be to their relationship? How traumatic would that be for her? And in turn him. Personally, I want the babies to succeed post reveal and just be happy together, so I fully support airing out all of the dirty laundry ahead of time.

Again, take that with as many grains of salt as you see fit because that's just how I've always viewed canon. But even if I'd been wrong, I wouldn't have been disappointed. I'm stoked for any of the sides getting development and getting together because I understand that in the end it will all come together for them and be a benefit to their post reveal relationship. And I'm so excited for that day! So, honestly, I just ignore all of the salt at this point and just watch the damn show. People can feel any kind of way they want about it, and that's great for them. What ultimately matters is what you personally feel about the show. If you enjoy pr Adrinette, that's great! Don't ever let anyone take that from you just because they're salty. The main reason I left the salt life behind is because it was affecting my enjoyment of the show, and I had to learn how to enjoy it again without being clouded by other people's opinions, and honestly, it's been the best choice I've made in this fandom. And I know people are going to inevitably vague post about me for posting this, but whatever. Die mad, I guess.

Though honestly, I'd wait until we see the second half of this two parter before worrying too much about LadyNoir. I can see where people are coming from with how quickly they moved on, but we still have another half of the story to see. And as I mentioned, from episodes that have aired that take place after these, we can see LadyNoir is doing just fine. But again, we will just have to wait and see what happens.

[scarfacemarston]

Do you ever get annoyed with how many portray Marston as an idiot? I mean, yes he was very, verrry immature in this game at times, but I wish there were more fanfics that also give us the more mature/complex side as well. Like I wish people also got to experience the wiser version of him that he grows to be in RDR1 & give him a little more depth . 😔 He deserves more love!

Absolutely. I understand the memes and I love some memes, but overall, it's obnoxious. It's like they didn't even play either game. Not only that, John isn't the only one to do stupid things. Notice also how the main one who keeps calling him stupid is Arthur - who has quite the beef with him. I think John's issue is impulsivity and anger most of the time - not a matter of intelligence such as when he's on the run in the epilogue, but even then, John seems to be able to reign it in as the game goes on. None of the gang members are perfect, they all have their strengths and weaknesses. They're human like anyone else. Even the most arguably intelligent members of the gang - Lenny and Hosea (in MY opinion) have made mistakes. Arthur has as well. Trelawny and Dutch - also very intelligent people - have made mistakes. Charles might be one of the few very intelligent people to not make one. (I consider the Buffalo incident to be an emotional/passionate response rather than anything intelligence related). The girls are pretty damn intelligent as well and most of them don't make mistakes. (Note, just because I didn't name a member, doesn't mean they aren't intelligent. Just want to cover my ass.) John is far from perfect, but he is damn more clever than people give him credit for. I've written about this before, but he's also less naïve than Arthur and some of the others. He was the first one to realize that Dutch was bull shitting the gang. He is also very well-spoken despite his lack of formal education. He’s also able to think on his feet and see alternative routes. No spoilers, but he handled the situation in Mexico with a lot of cunning on his part. Arthur is definitely more well-read and a better writer, but I think John is more socially aware when he needs to be whereas Arthur is more likely to be taken advantage of due to his good nature. He wouldn't be as successful as he was in rdr 1 against all the odds without cunning. Again, he did some stupid things, but since you've played the game - you know and probably would agree that most of it wasn't his fault.

I think some people haven't heard a lot of his conversations at the fire or him calling out Dutch or other people like Bill or strangers, or have not seen how advanced some of his arithmetic is for an uneducated man in the epilogue. I don't understand how people can see that and still think he's an idiot. I also think some people find it way more entertaining to think of him as idiotic and again - fine with some memes and stuff - but the fandom seems rather negative towards John. This is very unpopular, but this is my blog and I realize I may be gatekeeping: I'm fine with people having other interpretations: But when people just insist over and over again that John is stupid without really saying why or give meme answers- I take it less seriously.

[limjaeseven]

Addressing the Issue

This entire post is to address an incident that took place on the Magic Shop Net server which later became a public issue after My understanding of what @kingsuckjin (I'm unable to tag them due to an issue with my phone but I'm leaving the tag in there incase they see it) and @btsaudge posted about it on their blogs:

The last 24 hours ish have been rather stressful and confusing for me as something that I never imagined in my wildest dreams would happen, has happened.

As many of you may or may not know, I have been and am currently affiliated with a few Writer's Networks and have been for a while now. A few months ago, an incident occured in one of them which left me rather hurt and upset. I talked about some of it in an older post so you can read it but neither have I there nor will I here go in depth into what happened as the entire issue was dealt with privately and that was the end of it.

The reason I bring it up is that after that incident, I stopped talking it engaging much in other Network servers that I was on, in fear that something wrong would happen again. But of course it did.

Due to the fact that a safe word was used in the chat, I do not have any screenshots or receipts to clarify what was said as the chats were wiped. What I am going to do though is go through the screenshots posted by the aforementioned two people on their tumblr and dissect what was said.

@moccahobi was one of the people who I discussed this matter with before going public with it as it was them who informed me about the posts in the first place.

A few things need to be made clear before I proceed:

(1) I am no longer stan BTS or identify as an army. Now before you jump to conclusions, hear me out. This in no way means I hate the boys or classify as a "hater". I love, respect and admire the boys as artists and as people and am grateful to them for introducing me to kpop and for helping me through tough times

(2) I am a trained singer in Hindustani, Carnatic, and Western Classical music and have been singing all my life. I am also a music producer working to make a career out of my music. This is important as we get into the meat of the issue.

First, let's address the "allegations" or "arguments" made by the two people in question

The main two points made here was:

(1) I (or we) was critiquing their voices

(2) I (or we) was critiquing their weight

The points made here was:

(3) I (or we) was discussing songs of BTS that I didn't like

(4) I (or we) was critiquing their voices

(5) I (or we) was critiquing their wheight

(6) I (or we) was critiquing what they ate

(7) I (or we) was encouraging a negative stereotype about people being fat.

Let's go over the actual conversation with context, shall we?

Now as I mentioned before, since the messages were deleted I don't have receipts but you can reference my claims with @moccahobi or decide for yourself whom to trust:

First let's address talking about songs of their we didn't like (argument no. 3):

The whole conversation started in the first place when I asked in the chat if anyone had any unpopular K-pop Opinions for a video I was working on for my YouTube channel. This led to one of the people in the chat mentioning that had big BTS opinions and I said that MOTS 7, I'm my opinion is the worst album BTS has ever released. For context: I was still army at the time when the album dropped.

This discussion was from a place of honesty where I said why I didn't like certain songs of theirs. In the chat there is a mention of not having meaningful lyrics: I listened to Bollywood music growing up and there are a lot of songs in that genre that exist for fun and have no deep meaning and sometimes such songs are required to break up the "deepness" of the songs.

As a producer myself, I found the songs rather generic and boring and I talked about that. The argument of "the boys would feel so bad" is no reason for not judging their music objectively.

Secondly, let's talk about the whole critiquing their voices thing (argument no: 1 & 4)

(only a statement made by @strawbxxymilk was available to me but I'm just giving context to what the fuller intention of the conversation was because this text is clearly taken out of context)

I, as mentioned before am a trained singer and it really worries me to see that the boys are using techniques of singing that could affect the longevity of their voice and career because I care. I never talked about their tonal quality so it was never about "taste" it was an objective analysis of technique.

I want the boys to do well and have long careers that's why I worry. I want them to do well and yet you say "it sounds like they don't like BTS at all". You can have your opinion and I can have my own but it doesn't mean I don't like the boys.

Lastly, I would like to address the whole wheight issue (argument no: 2, 5, 6 & 7):

First of all; I'm overwheight/healthy/fat whatever you call it. I hate people being fat shamed because I have been all my life. That was the entire point of the discussion which is being misinterpreted or misrepresented. My definition of "fat" or "overwheight" is that of being over a wheight that is considered medically healthy and NOT culturally or socially accepted.

I was outraged by people calling two of the people who inspired me to become musicians, Youngjae of GOT7 and Suga, fat because they are not. They are below the norm in my opinion. I find it disrespectful when people call people who are clearly doing well and healthy fat and that's why I discussed that matter. Also I have no memory of ever engaging in discussing "what the boys ate" . Now there is no way to prove either side of the argument as there are no available screenshots atleast with me to prove that and the chat is wiped clean. If there is proof though, I would suggest the two people who made this issue to come forth with them and I will retract this part (and only this part) of my statement regarding the 'what they ate' issue.

(I was given clarification by @moccahobi that she mentioned that the boys are not eating "nine cups of ramen" as they were before but that comment had nothing to do with their wheight, it was only about them being able to afford and eating proper decent meals)

I never thought I'd have to make this post in the first place. I'm sad that I was not contacted before conversations I engaged in with people who I consider my friends would become subject to public scrutiny.

I've stayed silent many times before when things have happened but I will no longer. I am here to speak my truth and my side of a story that was twisted, taken out of context and put on public blast.

In the end, all I want to say is that nothing I said was meant to hurt anyone but I don't regret a word I said and won't take back any statements I made in the chat. I'm sorry if you, Audge and Moon, were hurt by what I said for that was not my intention. I just wish I was approached before you put these chats up.

Here's a link to the original post for more context on what the allegations/arguments were:

https://kingsuckjin.tumblr.com/post/621314926605107200/tw-i-fucking-have-to-talk-about-my-eating