#consider reblogging to expose more people to my madness! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voidwritesstuff · 2 months

Text

The Stars have names.

(Part 1) A/N: this is a proof of concept for an original series of mine.Originally it was going to be a youtube series, but after writing this im not sure if thats the format i want to go with. Anyway,ill post this here and be done with breaking the immersion (if everything goes well, I'll post the other parts) Cw:abusive household, abusive parents, cults,body horror,religious imagery and pregnancy imagery.

>reblogs appreciated and encouraged.

I don't know if posting this here is a good idea, but I've realized I'm only putting people in more danger if I keep this to myself. My name isn't important,I know I’ll join them eventually, and by then I will have lost my sense of self. But let's get the main bits of information on the table. I’ve known my friend Orion for most of my life, he is originally from the town of Cometa, to this day he’s never told me where this town is,but I get the feeling I'll find out soon enough.

That should've been the first red flag. One I never recognized until recently.

The second red flag was a little more subtle. He's always been enthusiastic about sharing his knowledge of space,it was his special interest and I always listened because I wanted to be a good friend. It was the way he spoke about it though,there was a casual, almost personal tone to the way he talked about stars, but especially about the planets.

“I know you’ll think it's silly, but they have real names. Not the ones we gave them, Venus,mars,saturn…It's hard to explain,My mom’s better at it but she isn't allowed to talk about it”

When I asked why she wasn't allowed to talk about it, Orion would shrug and say it was “grown up stuff” and he stopped mentioning it as we grew older.I didn't notice it when we were teenagers, I thought he had “grown out” of it somehow.

How wrong i was. How so very wrong I was.

I was supposed to go to Cometa town next summer, Orion was spending the holidays with me and my family, and before he left he had given me one of many manuscripts from the church his town has. I told him I wasn't interested in religion,but he begged me to read them, and I wanted to be a good friend- He's heard me ramble about every single character I found hot many times throughout our friendship,so I figured I could give in and read it.

After all, it's just religious text, isn't it? I remember sitting down one morning,we were snowed in and the sky was dark- I’ve never seen clouds so thick… And yet somehow one single ray of sunlight spilt into my room. It was unusually warm when I extended my hand towards it, and just as I was about to begin reading the lights went out.

Didn't think too much of it, it snowed like crazy, so there I went to sit on the sunny spot in my room for some proper light. The shadows seemed so much darker then, but I just took it as my eyes getting used to the ridiculous amount of light I was being exposed to.

Isn't it crazy how much we deny odd things that happen to us? The text started as any religious text often does,with a long shpeel of poetic words, but then it turned into a journal. There are no dates, so god only knows when this happened-But it does seem quite modern for…Well you’ll see. I’ve also gone and added numbers to each part, it was hard when I first read it- and hey if you're going to go down a spiral of madness then at least I'll leave some road signs,I'm on my way out anyway. Consider this red flag number three, and your one and only warning to stop.

“

Church of Santa Madre de Luz Divina

Tale of Mother Sun.

The stars have names

Not ones that mortals can utter.

Not in any language that you may speak or invent.

For these gods,us your makers, speak in tongues of divine creation,

destruction, light and darkness, that which lies beyond your minds

Broken from the ties of the planets that birthed us.

You behold my light,the one of your mother.

Of the supernova that gave birth to humans.And may the Harvester, though forgotten in time,

come to reap your souls.

Only then shall you know the names of your gods.

It may not look like it

But we have a plan for you.

[Entry 1] I had that dream again. I was floating in darkness for hours,days,millenia…There was nothing around me- I knew there wasn't anything for miles and miles. And then…light. Blinding light,searing heat that oddly enough didn't hurt my skin.

I could only see things zooming past me, I could feel eons going by in the blink of an eye.

The darkness wasn't empty anymore,there were thousands upon thousands of little lights.I realized then, i was in space. But I didn't feel cold, I didn't lack oxygen.

In a way, i breathed with the universe. I could feel the pulse of supernovas, of black holes eating and eating the darkness and turning it into,or taking it into, something I couldn't comprehend or fathom to.

Frozen in time, I couldn't move back or forth, to and fro, I simply floated and watched the existence around me begin to circle me.

Yet it wasnt me,not me specifically. I turned to look behind me, because before me there was nothing- Like a sunflower bending to the light above.

And i woke up.

The therapist said moving would help,that Cometa Town was perfect for someone like me. I want to trust Dawn’s word, she lived there most of her life before moving to Argentina. I guess she outgrew that town,i can relate to that

Dawn had also said that these dreams meant that I was too stressed, feeling like the world was coming undone around me. And she wasn't wrong, after that fight with my dad i couldn't stand being around him. Piece of shit.I don't understand why my mom still thinks I should make up with him. I don't understand how she can still forgive him even after everything, he threw eggs at our door,he had threatened to beat up his parents,my grandparents, and back when they were still together he would argue with her until she couldn't stomach it anymore and puke.

I don't want to end up like her, compelled to forgive and live beside someone who has sucked away all life from me just because I seek acceptance.

Mom promised that Cometa town is nice,and i trust her word,or i try to- But i know she wouldn't’ve moved so far away,countries away, if this town did not speak spanish,she never puts in the effort to do something difficult.

Lord knows there are days where she makes me feel like a burden,every time i talk to her it feels like she’s ignoring me. All the praise I get usually are just one worded responses,an adjective she throws at me without looking up from her phone…

And as much as I try to hate her,I can't. In a way she’s still my mother, I spent months in her stomach,growing. It makes me wonder if I had not been born a month before I was supposed to,would she pay attention to me? Of course it’s a silly claim,but almost after twenty years of being left aside, I’m starting to grasp at straws.

I guess Dawn was right,I need to get some fresh air-I doubt i’ll get a break anyway, i still don't have enough money to move away. Still, here I go. Goodbye Argentina,Hello Cometa.

[Entry 2]

I fell asleep on the plane,no dreams, only peaceful rest… But I have to admit that it felt odd,like a part of me was missing. I felt so cold when I woke up,I usually feel cozy. Maybe it's just the AC of the plane…

Either way,I called dibs on the seat next to the window. I can see the clouds. It gives me vertigo, but in a fun way-Like I could be flying through the clouds like i was the sun… That image gave me peace, hope. It makes me excited to get to my new home,hang up all my posters and paraphernalia.

I may even find a group of people to play D&D with on the weekends…

Maybe this extreme move is going to help.

[Entry 3] Cometa town is so pretty, gardens and gardens of flowers,there are parks with weekly fairs! It's good to know mom will have a place to sell her clothes, and I won't go hungry. I understand now why the therapist recommended this place- Aside from having a university of arts (with a career in film, How lucky!) And it has a cool name too: “Cosmos University of the Arts”.

i will miss Dawn though- maybe i can find a replacement here? I don't know if it'll be the same…fingers crossed? Oh! and The sunset here was just as beautiful too, i can actually see the stars here. I begged my mom to eat dinner outside by the sunflower garden we have and she accepted. No TV,no background sound,just me and her…it's nice.

It would be nicer if she didn't call me by my deadname,though. I’ve told her plenty of times I go by Nova now, but hey- she still doesn't believe im bi,let alone accept I change my pronouns often, so maybe i'm just asking her for the wrong things.

But a new home,a new place, the same old sky… Maybe I should keep that in mind instead.

[Entry 4] Well, the dream came back.

But it's longer now, different.

I saw that same darkness, that same explosion of light, but now when I turned I saw the sun (I expected it,it's the only thing that made sense). I expected the light to burn my eyes, but it didn't. Dream logic? I don't know.

Aside from actually being able to see what's behind me,I noticed something there, growing. Like a seed, looking for something,writhing. The sun was only a shell for whatever was growing in there. Yknow what it reminded me of? A baby, growing in the womb of her mother,kicking and feeling out the warm home she finds herself in. There was no better place for her, I was sure of it, I could almost picture what she looked like.

Body made of divine light, elegant hands that have the opportunity to create,to destroy, I dare say even…artistic. The art of bringing beautiful things to life, the willpower to destroy the imperfections,the mistakes, even if it means throwing out a whole art piece and start from scratch

She's adorned with pure gold that glimmers like endless stars, clothes made of the softest fabrics the world could offer.

Yet..i couldn't see her face, it was either hidden from view or just consuming my whole range of sight.

massive, she was massive, and i was about the size of a vein.

I saw her,whatever she was, take me in her hands and lay me to rest on her chest. I beat her heartbeat, I ate of her blood…it gave me such a rush. I felt..unstoppable, I felt myself breaking out of the shell I forced myself into just so I wouldn't get into trouble,that I would not be hit with my mother’s glare of disappointment that I don't fit her standards for “Being born a woman”.

When I woke up I felt…dizzy, I felt something churning in my stomach,my forehead felt too warm and it throbbed in a way that made me light headed,the sunlight that was falling on my face had this sparkle to it.

Mom came over to ask me if I was alright,it was probably around mid-day when I woke up,which meant that lunch would be done soon and that she was waiting for me. I told her I felt ill and I wondered what had I eaten the night before for me to feel like my body was organizing a mutiny against me. And then I turned to my nightstand, saw my sketchbook opened and stained with chocolate from the wrapper I had tossed on it carelessly the night before.

. . . I need to stop eating sweets before going to bed.

[entry 5]

The dream’s been on my mind as of late, so I've tried to push it to the side by signing up for Cometa town’s university. I thought the bureaucracy was going to be endless,thankfully it wasn't- It was quite easy honestly, just asked for my personal data like name,birth date, ID and the like, it even had a “Preferred name” box i could fill up- It made me happy to know i wouldn't have to use my deadname.

Aside from that I've tried to distract myself by walking around the town, it has a very low crime rate so my mom’s not worried about letting me wander off. It's a nice change from the constant fear of being robbed i had back in Argentina, doesn't mean I don't miss my home though. I miss it terribly,but there's not much I can do but to wait for winter break to visit them again (well,it's winter break for the town- back home it's a ripe,ripe summer. I'll be cooking my ass off while the town lives it up in the snow,lucky)

But back to the walk i took, i wrote down a few places i’d like to visit next time The mall (obviously, it has a bunch of stores,fast food restaurants and even an observatory- I’d say it's a weird addition to the mall but i don't complain, i really like seeing the stars), Also the parks it has to offer, the town center and the one thing that caught my attention the most was this church- I wouldn't know the exact architecture style, but its grand,well decorated and so,so tall and old. I think I saw a telescope peeking out from one of the windows in the main tower.

Hopefully I can visit it soon? Maybe tomorrow will be fun.

[entry 6] After lunch I went to the church, the place was mostly empty (i figured, i mean i did go right after i finished eating lunch) and honestly it made it all the more personal. Hell,even the priest wasn't there roaming around and doing whatever priests do.

But I did meet someone there, they had male features, a chiseled face, olive eyes and pretty reddish brown skin. They were dressed in goth clothes (and fashionably so) so it didn't surprise me to see them at the church.

And in my ogling I noticed their jacket was packed full of patches, I could see the one on the right side of his arm, it read “Still a planet” With an embroidered image of Pluto. I couldn't help but snicker at it They introduced themself as Callum,they looked at me like I was some sort of long lost friend and asked me if I was new around town. I told them that I was and that I had moved in just a few days ago. I could notice the slight hispanic accent in their voice and I asked them if they spoke any Spanish, they said yes and we got to talking in my mother tongue.

It made me happy to know they liked my vest, I couldn't help but think that a punk and a goth went hand in hand. Both appeal to the darker side of the world, for them it was the macabre,the things that go bump in the night. And for me, it was all about how the system was always against you,how the world seems to orchestrate in a way that no matter what you do, you’ll always be on the wrong side of things. Damned if you do,damned if you don’t.

Callum was fun to talk to,I appreciated that since I haven't been able to meet my neighbors yet. I mean I just got here,but I wish I had someone else to talk to that isn’t my mom or includes me sending a text to my friends back in Argentina.

Here's one of the conversations I had with my new “Acquaintance” (translated from english to spanish to keep my privacy. wouldn't be surprised if i left it open some day and my mom reads it out of curiosity):

“So..Why visit the church of all places?” they had asked me as we entered the large cathedral

“Well just getting to see the town really, but i saw it and i knew i had to enter and at least take a peek- I like making art, and i was hoping to draw some of the things around the place” “You make art? that's cool” They smiled with this child-like excitement “I make murals, i go to the university here” “Dude no way,I signed up for the studies in film career!”

“Then we’ll see each other more often, that's good” We introduced each other properly then, they told me about their family and I told them why i moved away- I skipped a few details because i couldn't exactly just drop the fact that i had to move because my father was a manipulative piece of shit.

When we got to the altar section, I hadn't noticed until then that the Vitraux behind the pedestal were not of God or Jesus, instead they were of these massive beings of cosmic light.

And right in front of me was her.

Being of divine light, hands extended towards me, holding the world in their palms, her face got lost in the bright burst of light portrayed on the glass. Shades of red,orange and yellow spilled across my face and in my half blinded state I could swear I saw bright eyes staring back at me. It made me jump back out of reflex, i blinked the light away and turned to see if Callum had seen me embarrass myself like that-

But they weren't.

They were staring at another vitraux, a being of pure darkness and ice, candles of blue flame serving as shoulder pieces with their melted wax with gold jewelry over its shroud. And in the center of their chest,like a ribcage, stood the alchemical symbol for Pluto. Underneath it was a simple plaque that read “The Harvester” It gave me the idea to see the plaque beside it, “Father moon”. Above it stood a vitraux of a male figure with a shawl of stars, a crown of night and time on his bursting face of moonlight. He was holding his hands close to his chest where the alchemical symbol for the moon stood carved in pale gray as he grasped an old sun clock.

Out of curiosity I looked back at the one in front of me, I could still see The Harvester and Father Moon in the corner of my left eye. The plaque underneath the divine lady of sunlight read “Mother Sun”

“You’ve seen ‘em too?” Callum asked out of nowhere, I jumped from my spot as if I was broken from a trance. They looked at me with what seemed like fear and utter dread.

“Excuse you?” They pointed at the vitraux i was looking at “Her,You've seen her” With how they looked at me, i knew lying wouldn't do me any good “Yeah” I Had replied with a slight tremble in my voice “I have” My eyes couldn't meet theirs, I was too ashamed and startled. In my avoidance I noticed that Callum’s jacket had an embroidered patch of Mictecacihuatl, the lady of the dead in Aztec mythology.

“How?” they asked,sounding adamant that they get an answer.

“dreams, you?” something in me pushed me to answer,even if i felt like their question was a little too weird and out of pocket “same”

I blinked at the sordid nature of it. How could I dream of something that I have never seen before? But before I could question that bitch of an existential crisis,We heard shuffling steps from behind us, we turned to see a priest- Old,old man with a wrinkled face, dark black eyes that gleamed with..satisfaction? “May I help you with something?” The old man asked, His voice raspy and with a warmth that felt too unnatural- Like he's trying to overcompensate. I raised my brows in surprise,his voice sounding so familiar, like I heard it in a distant dream.

“No” Callum sounded harsh, they took my bicep and began tugging me along out of the Church,but before they left my sight i read the two other plaques beside Mother sun: “Sister star” and “The Oracle” They didn't speak a word until we were well away from the church, they sat me down at a bench and looked at me like somebody had died.

“I thought there was enough of us already” They whispered, afraid that the trees would grow ears and listen “What?” “There's 3 more others just like you, like us.-Probably more” “Callum, you're not making any sense” “Listen to me,Nova. The stars have names”[entry 7] I came back home late after that, Callum insisted on walking me home and we did so in silence. It felt uncomfortable, like the lack of literally any spoken word was digging under my skin and getting into my bone marrow,expanding it uncomfortably.

Before our weird ass conversation,I actually got along with Callum, like i’ve known them all my life or even well before that…It was odd but..comforting.They’re the first friend i've made since moving here.

They bid me goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, I didn't think too much of it since it's a common way to greet each other back in Argentina- Us latinos are a mixed bag of customs after all.

As soon as I stepped in, My mom was up in arms about where I had been. She was cooking as she yelled at me for being out so late, I told her she needed to calm down and I reminded her about how Cometa town had almost no crime rate.

She glared at me and told me i was just as irresponsible as my father, it made me so angry, it scorched me that she would compare me to my dad, only to turn around and tell me i should make peace with him- She still somehow believed that it was my fault that i fought with him, and not that he looked at me in the eye and said “You're the worst daughter a father could ask for”. It was a petty argument, i don't remember what we were fighting about anymore, In that moment,rage blinded me and I just wanted her to hurt, and before I could wallow my rage,she yelped and jumped away from the oven.She had burnt herself with the flame of the stove.

After that i went to my room, i was so mad and so,so tired. I am exhausted from having to dance on the edge of being a golden child and a scapegoat martyr. I would never be enough for her, and that was starting to dawn on me.

I get that she was worried,that she feared something happened to me- But there are better ways to say so. It makes me sad she never seems to treat me like an actual human.

[Entry 8] I fell asleep as soon as I went to bed.I had consciously forgotten about Callum’s explanation, but a part of me didn't.

As i drifted endlessly on the edge of sleep, i remembered everything my new “Friend” had told me

“ Listen to me,Nova. The stars have names. Not the ones we gave them,Venus,Saturn,pluto. None of that bullshit. They are gods, born from the planets we know, they're only shells of shattered womb,they have no life in them.” “But there's life on earth” I had said “Because they needed a place for their servants to live. Thats us” “And why should I trust your words?” Callum seemed a little amused at my flabbergasted expression

They scoffed before continuing to talk “The whole town is in on it. They are a cult,im sure of it” “How do you even know this stuff?” “I moved here three years ago, my family and I had been practically chased off from our home in Mexico. The bosses of my parents had fired them, I suddenly became the worst student in my school and got kicked out. My buddy Byeol and Archie had been offered a scholarship to the university of this town- This very public university. A scholarship.” they made a pause to steady themself, it felt like they were just word vomiting right now. “Did nothing weird happen to you before you came here?” They continued with a slight anger to them, not directed at me but at whatever was supposedly tugging the strings of this weird cultish plot. “Nothing that feels too much like a coincidence?” I remembered how Dawn had been raised here, how she said the homes here were really cheap,especially to immigrants.Something about a benefit from the state. At the time I doubted it, this country is as capitalist as it gets-Not to mention its clear distaste for non natives. But then we checked and it was an actual thing,so I didn't think too much of it since I just figured my biases had gotten the better of me.

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“I know this because I saw it. In my dreams” They raised a finger before I could manage to retort “Let me ask you this, have you heard of any of the gods we saw at the church?” “No,but it could be a niche religion” “Okay then,what about your dreams?” Truth is I was ready to jump on the conspiracy bandwagon,Too soon? maybe. But my mind was looking for a reason to doubt all these good things in my life, a part of me wouldn’t let me accept the nice things that came to me. There is a reason I go to therapy after all.

“see?” Callum added,taking my silence as the answer they needed. “Why would you tell me this?” “Because you're the missing piece. I told you there’s more of us, my friends all had dreams with the gods we saw back there”They answered “I could see you were staring at Mother Sun, so that must be who you see in your dreams, am i mistaken?”I shook my head. “I don't know what they're planning”they continued,sure there was something else unraveling, “i don't know why they want us but it can't be good. This town is too perfect, it makes me sick. Nothing good can come from this,i can just feel it”

I sat there in silence and looked at the floor. I didn't know if I could believe them.A cult? really? And why was I the missing piece? “Then why don’t you leave” “We have nowhere to go, all the times I’ve tried to convince my family to get out something big like a promotion would happen and suddenly my word wasn’t enough”

My heart sank to my feet. ‘No matter what you do, the game is always rigged ’ I thought. “And you haven’t told them about all this?” “I did, but they say that it’s just a product of how our leave from Mexico unfolded”

They say that when you wear rose colored glasses,all red flags are just..flags. Me included, I felt like their whole speech just now was the ramblings of a madman. But they had just enough credibility to them that it made it hard for me to fully reject it.

I sat there in silence for a while,processing everything I had been told. I don’t know if Callum was staring at me,I completely zoned out for a few good minutes. All I could see was that goddess,I could feel her tugging at me somehow,she was eager. A sigh made me snap out of my thoughts, I looked up to see my companion’s face and for a moment I swear they looked incredibly gaunt “Sorry,I know it's a lot to dump on you” they had said with a soft voice and a meek look in their eyes.

“thats the understatement of the fucking century” They scoffed and offered to walk me home as compensation for the wild ride. They also gave me their phone number just in case.

And truth be told I was ready to leave it all behind and make a mental note to never talk to Callum again.

But then I had to fall asleep.

I found myself in the dark expanse again, I knew the drill of creation and destruction, worlds coming and going,and when I stood before the planets spinning around me, I started to notice something. Each planet had a massive crack in the middle, they were creaking and groaning with pain. I could hear their labored breathing as whatever was crawling out of them began to split their shells apart. Like tearing open the placenta that held them. The celestial bodies that house them scream in pain and agony, a horrible choir of death as beings of immense scale rise before me.That same man made of moonlight and time rose from the smallest natural satellite, he was the first one…

I saw him and the sun behind me dance in eternal bliss, with each step I could feel the ripples of space bending, breaking what remained of the planets that only followed the orbit of the giant,divine woman. Though I could never see their faces, there was no face to see.

Or perhaps I was afraid of what I would behold if I stared at the sun for too long.

Mother Sun looked down upon me and I turned away. I could feel her burn a hole through my skull, only stopping when Venus splits open with a screeching choir,birthing a woman with the face of pure starlight, grand insectoid wings that flutter curiously. Then Neptune cracks open with a tidal wave, allowing a large female figure to slither out of it. She had past and future in her eyes- were those her eyes? her face was a gossamer shine that reflected fractals and fractals of what could be or had been.

And long forgotten in time, Pluto is the last one to be born. Cold in the endless vacuum, creaking of bone against bone, feeding from the corpse of his mother, A shrouded figure stood impossibly tall, curling into itself.

More were missing, I Knew that-She knew that.

But I couldn't see the other planets from just how bright she shone in the black void.

Unwilling to look at her, I tried my best to fight her. I wouldn't let her burn my eyes, I don't want to face whatever turned its wretched gaze upon me. I would rather be disintegrated into ash, because when she forced my head to snap to her, using her massive hand to twist me like a doll, I saw my face in her shine.

I woke up screaming,tears falling down my cheeks before I managed to be conscious enough to let them flow. [Entry 9] My mom ran into my room,asking me if I was okay. I told her I had a nightmare, and that I'd be fine. I never talked about my dreams,so she wasn't surprised I didn't want to talk about it. She hung out with me in the kitchen as I made myself some tea. I didn't have the strength to look at her bandaged arm,did I cause that? When she saw me a lot calmer, she returned to sleep. And I decided I had to talk with Callum about all this.

Before I knew it, I was sneaking out of the house and embarking on a midnight adventure with a person I just met, to talk about eldritch beings and horrors. Life really is the gift that keeps on giving.

They took me to a restaurant. “Nebula Dinner”,read the perfect, 50s style neon sign. By this point it's like the town wasn't even bothering to hide it…

“So..”They began once we sat down in the booth placed on one of the corners of the establishment “Do you believe me now?” I snarled at how smug they sounded “Yes” “Good,because it's only going to get worse”

“jeez, how sunny” They shrugged and put their forearms on the table,leaning in a little and using them as support “Tell me about the dream”. And tell them I did, I spared no detail, and it felt oddly nice to be able to share this with somebody other than my therapist. They listened attentively and even went so far as to hold my hand when I began tearing up again. “..why? why us?” I had asked with what little voice I had in me.

“Your guess is as good as mine”They replied, trying to sound nonchalant about it,but I could tell that in a sense, this was like reliving his own trauma. “Look, My dreams started a few months before I moved to Cometa, same with Archie,Byeol and Sammira. Tell me if that's not a cosmic coincidence” I flinched at the word “cosmic” and they apologized.

To my credit, I did try to process everything I had heard. And I failed miserably at it. My brain ran itself in circles trying to reconcile with the idea that gods existed, and that for some damn reason I was suddenly chosen by one of them.

I still couldn't shake off that feeling, like i was breathing alongside somebody, my head buzzed and i still felt like my brain felt like it was being pushed into two different directions. The images are so clear even when it had been just a few hours since I woke up.

A sigh left me as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes,I could have used some more rest-But the thought of having to face that thing again terrified me. “I like god do not play with dice” I quoted, hoping that one of my many vocal stims cheered me up. “And i do not believe in coincidence” They had finished, smiling at me “V for Vendetta”

“You know it?It's a bit old” “I have the compilation of the whole series back in my house,” They answered, clearly enthusiastic about it. “Hey,let me get you something to eat, my treat- We shouldn't be thinking about this without food in our stomachs” “It's like two am” They shrugged and said “Early breakfast,i guess” And I couldn't help myself and said “What about second breakfast?”“I don't think he knows about second breakfast,Pippin '' They answered without missing a beat, accent and all. Suddenly all the tension in the air dissipated as we both laughed,I shook my head at the absurdity of it all, and I gladly accepted the offer of food.

Even though I knew there were a lot more things we needed to discuss, I let it pass by. I needed to feel normal again for a few minutes, and I wouldn't deny this moment.

Callum waved over one of the late night staff, Her name was Solana and she was Callum's older sister. They introduced me to her and we both ordered something to eat after she handed us the menu.

We spent the night talking about comics,movies and games. It felt nice to be a normal twenty something again.

[entry 10] Callum had spent the night at my house, they promised they would sneak off in the morning. It was sunday so my mom would leave to work at the fairs in one of the parks. They said they knew how hard it was to deal with these nightmares, and they wanted to keep me company through it all.

If I had not experienced the worst nightmare of my life, I would've said no. But I didn't want to spend this night alone, I didn't feel safe being on my own. I feel like these dreams will eat me whole, and I can begin to feel something crawling inside my chest already.

When i woke up Callum was gone as they said they would, they had left me a text saying we could hang out later or grab lunch. My home didn't feel safe anymore,it felt like the sunlight was so bright it was eating away all the color,all the life my house had.I accepted their offer in a heartbeat, at least walking through the town I could forget and ignore the shifting shadows out of the corners of my eyes, and how uncomfortably familiar the sunlight felt on my skin, like it was trying to embrace the deepest part of me and for that it needed to tear and carve through my skin,my muscles and straight past my bones.

My new friend wasn't faring any better, they felt incredibly cold to the touch, they avoided being in the shade for too long and they had ripped off their patch about Pluto and we did not talk about our dreams,or what this “cult” might be up to. And it wasn't even out of worry that we could be eavesdropped upon. It was pure,sheer fear of what it would mean if just like the planets, something was growing inside of us.

There was a pull underneath my skin, i could feel it writhe under my intestines,slithering and weaving itself through the pores of my sternum…And as much as i tried to push it away, it would only fade when during our walk we came across a second church,identical to the one we had seen on saturday. “Another one?” I asked confused

Callum nodded“To the other minor gods,Madame Jupiter,Sir Kaos,Professor Mercury and Saint Saturn”

“Those are weird ass names” I tried to joke,relieved that i suddenly felt like myself again “I didn't choose them” He chided “But yes,weird” “I'm kind of curious to see the inside” “That's how horror movies start. We’re latinos,we’re supposed to know better” They joked with a slight smirk

“Well i have some white in me,my grandma’s italian, I can be a bit stupid,as a treat” “If you die in there i'm not retrieving your body” “mean”

Making fun of it did help to ease the tension that had been growing like a weed inside of me.It felt like me and Callum had known each other our whole lives, that there was no need to put our words through a filter. I was going to tug them along to see the interior, but we saw one of the nuns come out from the church, she was looking down at the ground,minding her step. Then she looked at us for a few,long seconds and smiled wide. She raised her hand to wave at us, and we looked at eachother and promptly walked away.

What disturbed me the most is that i felt like i knew her,I knew the sound of her voice even when i have never heard her speak. Just like the old priest I saw at the other cathedral. I felt like i had heard her call my name, which one i didn't know, it made me dizzy trying to figure it out and i was already dealing with feeling watched- Callum kept glancing back and i knew then i wasn't the only one that felt like that

Honestly,If i had not dreamt what i did,i would have chalked it up to paranoia…

But then I looked up straight at the sun. I expected the shine to burn my eyes,but it didn't. I had hoped I'd blind myself for a split second just to confirm something that wasn’t clawing at me at that moment.

Dread settled,my chest felt tight and I felt like the gold light that spilled across this world cupped my face and forced me to face its creator.

The sun was staring right back at me, beckoning me closer.

[entry 11] I woke up a few seconds after,I felt something cold against my back, hard like wood and somebody holding me. Slowly I blinked my eyes open and met the face of Callum, they looked concerned,sweaty, and I could see past them a gray ceiling of carved rock and stained glass.

“How are you?” They had asked,voice shaking.

“Im,..okay? what's up with you?” Before they replied, I heard a raspy, gravelly voice say “Ah,so good to see you're okay” The unnatural welcoming in this male voice made my bones uncomfortable, I felt them pushing against my joints trying to escape. I wanted to peel each strand of my muscles only to distract myself from it.

There stands the priest we saw at the church with the vitraux of the main gods of this cursed pantheon, he opens his arms and says “Our Mother can be quite stern if she wants to, sorry for that. But i have the feeling you’ll soon grow on her” He made a pause,to then clear his throat “Sorry, I meant to say she’ll soon grow in you”

I turned to Callum, who tried to put themself between me and the priest “Callum, what the hell is going on?” Callum turned back briefly to me, they pursed their lips and their eyes looked wild with their pupils as small as a dot “Remember how i said I didn't know what they were planning?” I nodded “...I have the feeling we’re about to find out”

The old priest smirked, his eyes glimmering like the ones of a predator “Don’t worry,we won't hurt you”

“You should hear him out” Came a woman’s voice I knew quite well. Dawn stood there in the same clothes I had seen her wear in our last session together,with a smile so big like she was a kid in a candy store. “I know it's hard to accept good things,especially with everything you’ve been through,but this community welcomes you,both of you, with open arms” She offered a hug,spreading her arms. Her face twitched as if it hurt to grin like that but she couldn't stop.

It reminded me of how sometimes people would feel euphoria when experiencing something divine… We both began to hear multiple sets of steps,we’re surrounded by nuns,townsfolk. They all seem to revere us,and it dawns on me.

“After all, how dare we strike our own gods?”Finished the priest. They had handed me this journal,my journal, to write everything since my midnight meeting with Callum. They say that I had written their holy texts once before, and that they eagerly await the gospel of their mother…

I don't know why they returned me home,why keep up appearances? they had us at the church…

But then in came my mom,all excited telling me about how she had a really good day at work, how she could give me some money to buy myself something pretty. I wouldn't put it past them to harm my mother if I told her about all this? Would she even believe me? Right now i can hear them outside my window, it's a gloomy day, rainy and horrible,almost pitch dark, they hide in the shadows, they are whispering and awing at my writing. Callum is here with me, just as scared as I am.

“Why?” I ask out loud,hoping for an answer, and I get none.

My mind drifted for a second to Callum,their family,their friends.

Friends..

Oh no, There's more like us.

More…vessels? seeds? What are we? Who the hell are we?

I feel now the sun shining down on me. its warmth uncomfortably pressing under my skin,through tunnels already carved straight to my soul. I turn to Callum, they sit in the darkness at the edge of my bed,their back against the mattress, their head hung low. The hood of their jacket is pulled up, I can't see their face, and I don't think I'd see any if they turned to me.

I can feel her crawling up my nerves,up my spine. My head feels dizzy and my face feels incredibly hot like I'm feverish. ‘You’re loved here,don’t you see?’She whispers ‘You won’t be ignored here, you won't be a scapegoat,a martyr. You can be that golden child, the saint you know you are’

Tears begin to fall down my face,staining the pages of the journal. She makes it sound so sweet.

‘Finally you can rest. Why fight against the system?Why don’t you..we join it? we can change it together. We can make something out of ourselves’

I look at Callum, shivering and talking to themself under their breath. I can’t hear them,but I can see their breath condensate.

“I think we’ve known each other for a while” They finally said,soft voice barely carrying over the whispering horde outside.They offer their hand towards me as I hear the creaking of bone against bone, scraping like nails on a chalkboard. Their teeth clack together as if there's no gums,no tongue to soften the impact.I see that their fingers are thin and their skin is barely sticking to their bones.I take it,finding solace in their touch.

I don’t want to be alone. Not again, not ever again.

“We do,don't we?” I replied.

Everything seems clearer now,like sunlight after a storm.

“Do you know my name?” “I think I do,do you know mine?” “i do” “it's good to see you again,Harvester” “it's good to bask in your radiance again,Mother Sun”

[entry 11]

“Church of Santa Madre de Luz Divina

“Heed my words oh servant

For my light will guide your path.

Like it always has during eons past.

I never left,for you still revolve around me

Even if my body hangs limp in the sky.

Like a child within my womb,you writhe and call for me.

Heed my words, you who have waited for our return…

The stars have names.

Not those you could even fathom to pronounce.

We have walked amongst you now.

We have lived what you have.

So welcome this new era.

Welcome us anew.No longer forgotten

And don't fret

for we have a plan for you”

[End of journal] I can see her, through the dark. The sky is looking back through the gloom.

Her light burns me.

My mother is calling.

But I can't give in,not yet, not now. There's four more documents like this,I can transcribe them if any of you want to kamikaze yourself into insanity with me. I’ll be here waiting,patiently. Either way,I know now that no matter what I do, the sun is always watching me,the moon knows all my secrets and in the cold night outside I can see the harvester waiting for me, tapping on his scythe with his candles burning blue.

#oc: nova castro #oc: callum fernandez #the stars have names #original story #writeblr #original writing #writers on tumblr #cosmic horror #cosmic horror writing #writerscommunity #original fiction #horror #fiction

6 notes · View notes

morbidsmenagerie · 8 months

Text

Also just because I just reblogged this post and because people have been commenting on my wasp zine all varieties of:

But I have a phobia

Hate them anyway they bite/sting

Bet you've never been attacked by a wasp/spider/ect

If they stay away from me they're fine but as soon as they get close they're dead

I'm just going to! Respond to all of these!

Yes, spiders and wasps can sting or bite you. Bees can sting you. Beetles can bite you. For some reason though there's just a particular, vile hatred towards spiders and wasps. I don't even think people are generally as mad at mosquitoes for biting them, mosquitoes are more considered annoying than "kill it with fire get it away from me" stuff. I'd imagine most of you have been bitten by a dog or scratched by a cat, and yet cat/dog pictures don't get people saying "ew clearly you've never been bitten by one of those or you wouldn't find it so cute".

In most other animals, people understand that there's some level of personal responsibility involved. You got bit by a dog because you invaded its personal space and ignored its warnings, you got bit by mosquitoes because you weren't wearing bug repellant, ect. Obviously you can only minimize your negative interactions with bugs, it's definitely possible for them to get into your house and surprise you, but you can reduce the times this happens by practicing good house keeping. Crumbs, gaps in your windows/doors, trash buildup, ect can all attract bugs which in turn attracts spiders.

No bug "attacked" you. Bugs are not evil, vindictive, or out to get you. They're animals, and relatively simple ones at that. They do not have the capacity to wish you, in particular, harm. A spider runs towards you because it's trying to seek cover, and your shadow looks like a dark place for it to hide out in. Spiders have fairly poor eyesight for the most part and don't even "see" you as a unified thing, most of the time they just realize it's suddenly bright and they're exposed and they feel the vibrations of something very large above them. Wasps fly at you either because you got too close to their hive and they see you as a danger, or because you smell interesting and they want to see if you're food. If they are flying at you to protect their hive, don't try to swat at them, just quickly and calmly move to a safe place. If they're smelling you because they find your smell interesting, freeze and let them sniff around until they determine that you aren't a yummy fruit and fly away. Bees do the same thing! Most people know how to interact with bees though and don't blame the bee if they disturb a nest and get stung.

If you have a phobia, that must be really hard, I'm sorry! But understand that your phobia isn't the bugs fault. The bug isn't trying to scare you, they're just existing. If your phobia is severely affecting your ability to live in a world full of bugs, there are ways you can work on it. I'm not expecting everyone to like bugs, I just want to push for tolerance if possible. I used to be really freaked out by roaches (I lived in South Carolina and we had palmetto bugs) but I decided to actively work on it. I kept hissing roaches, because they were the least roachy roach I knew of, and interacting with them made me much more comfortable with all roaches. I still don't like roaches generally and I don't want them to infest my house, so I just keep good housekeeping practices and try to prevent that from happening. I like hissers now though, and I learned about a lot of other roaches I really like (domino roaches, cryptocercus, honestly a lot of the gyna roaches, and red runners which I also kept for a bit!) I know that is an extreme way to overcome your fear, but learning about and being curious about bugs you are afraid of does help. I used to even not like wasps! What changed my mind was reading about them (especially Endless Forms by Sierian Sumner) and actually learning about how diverse of an order hymenoptera really is. I definitely thought all wasps were the social hive building kind that sting which negatively affected my image of them, but there's so many wasps! That's part of the reason why I made the zine. If looking at pictures of spiders/wasps is too scary, there's books without pictures, or you can just ask some bug enthusiast friends/blogs for interesting facts to start out. Definitely decide how comfortable you are with exposure and don't over do it.

Also if your bug tolerance only extends to bugs that aren't near you, then that could also be something to work on. Bugs do not understand where your personal space meter is, they don't understand this contract you've made for allowing them to live. Bugs are everywhere, and they might end up in your house/room/bed/ect. It's not the bugs fault, and I implore you to try nonlethal removal when possible.

I might make another zine/pamphlet about overcoming bug hatred in general and building bug tolerance, but these are just some of my thoughts.

Also before someone twists my words and misinterprets this post some bugs are a problem! Obviously if your house has a roach/bed bug infestation take care of it! I also smack mosquitoes when they bite me! This is specifically about the wildly disproportionate hatred some bugs (mainly wasps and spiders) get compared to every other bug that could be considered a nuisance or cause damage.

#invertebrates #invertiblr #inverts #invert #bugblr

5 notes · View notes

kindtobechurlish · 2 years

Text

I know how to make Kike women cry. I know what you are not! And to make you even more mad, I would say FUCK BABY! Now, instead of me sitting around and looking to convince her to be with me.. I’m supposed to add, and remind her, I said, “anyone who mirrors anyone, and it’s the same sex.. that means they want to have sex.” It’s only natural. “Anyone who mirrors the opposite sex, they don’t wanna have sex.” I tell her to add some fun to her personality, “denounce the 48 laws of power”, and she is quaint with buddies with the N-word upon the tongue. Constantine the IV only makes them smile, the cutting of the froward tongue, they just smile - that was not the intent. I’m not amused, who is exalted if you are as low as ankles? This woman, she considers race as sex - and when I say, “Kike” it’s water off of a duck’s back. If she cried and I knew about it, my blood would still boil - her ways. She would find interest in a pyknic woman highlighting, on camera, men only read books like the 48 Laws of Power and Think & Grow Rich, and talking to a man is like asking him to attend a book club - and he didn’t read the book (he learns according to other women and skimming). The 92 year old man is growing crop of marijuana, and he doesn’t smoke it. “Tomatoes or cannabis”, and now farmers are excited. You see the farmer, his crop, his reward, to see the guy who reads his two books while going to the book club like THEY are the topic, and now you are resisting me. “The credit.” It’s not just the opium.. it’s Jeshurun and “the woman.” You see Opium, just to imagine a Jeshurun walking around.. and she’s depending on anyone she can depend on, and more than “baby.” You imagine women getting in opium, and I get the credit as Jeshurun walks. “The credit.” What are you doing? Go figure.

You see all of these women, and you see the people oppressing me, and “those women” are depending on whoever they can depend on. Now, you have your flaws, could be weight, and you are an asshole! “Reblog.” You say I am asking for a lot, I remind you of eternal life.. and now you are in that fish tank like someone died for your sins and your filter needs to be changed. I ask a woman, why do you want to be everything you are not? Because of clip. I came to understand the fish tank. A kike woman saw clip, and now she feels the same looking to make a sex into race! “Women.” So, you being with me is “race betrayal.” The women lining up for opium. You won’t be like me and denounce the 48 laws of power, to give people something to Google. Now, you get even more “upset”, when I combat idiot books with Urukagina’s Code, the 48 laws of Ma’at, and mythology just to remind you I put the God of Jeshurun First.. and now you can consider cult. You see people set up businesses, and now I am personifying academy. Why can’t you come to “denounce” what’s hot, see a counter, to be the best you you can be? Katie is scared of the Kirtle! So, you aren’t reading Praxiona, idyll 15, like Alexander the Great did the Iliad. “THEY TRADE SEVEN COINS FOR FIVE, WHILE I LIVE!” You aren’t having some fun, reading something over and over to see Praxiona and Gorgo can’t add to their work.. instead you hide the story and promote abortion, and are against my daughter wearing corn rolls and a shayla! You want me to be with a woman who wouldn’t wear a shayla for her daughter. You are against the culture I am looking to bring in, and you are really for the men you resist as you stand with the enemy! I abhor you! You wouldn’t do something for your daughter, even if I got the money! The twist? “What?” I’m not asking you to do the said.. I’m exposing YOU! Now you understand the kirtle, what is your daughter wearing? But, I’m not supposed to say this, I’m supposed to be talking sports ready to cut on R&B!

Do you want me to sit around and say I see so much in you? Instead of telling you to apply, you want me to see you as snow. You fell from above, and you came in this world scattered. I’m to build you up and you are whimsical. The snow woman, and it’s below 33 degrees - everyone told to be like water is stuck! To everyone else, you are human.. but to me, you are snow. You suddenly have all of these friends, and they support you. They agree with you. You hide people’s sins. They think you know better than me. They think like you, and lie to themselves to think as they work. You think even this post is critical. With me, you are so cautious, but everyone else you just enable. “Enable”. I say why don’t we don’t be? You give me more work to do and I just want to make you cry. Some woman. I would just want to hurt her, and say, “let cunts cry.” Some people not married think they know better, and she’s just turning me off as I’m trapped. I go look at a hater, they are implying something and I know how Satan works. Now, assholes are mad because they aren’t Satan, while I would know how to get a trillion.. and they now wonder what’s going on. “I’m not sure about this.. we are not sure about this.. you don’t like wytes… Saturns cave is simple, anyone can run it.. and you are pretty smart. Urukagina’s Code, Fields of Mars, Temples of Venus, and an economy that is based on bazar - no high places. Wytes are complicated for a reason.. you say kind to be churlish. I’m not so sure about this. ‘N’, I’m not sure.” Asshole.

0 notes

companionjones · 3 years

Text

The Worst Chris/The Best Peter

Fandoms: Marvel, MCU, Guardians of the Galaxy

Author’s Note: This is sorta my response, sorta just a message to myself about the whole Chris Pratt situation. In this, you and Quill talk about everything I know about the situation, and he reacts accordingly. Let me know if I leave anything out or get anything wrong. I probably just didn’t know.

In other news, I reference Sam/Steve/Bucky, Carol/Maria, and IronStrange in this. Also, I reference the fact that Peter Quill is bisexual in this. So there’s that.

Warnings: Cursing, homophobia, sexual harassment, Chris Pratt

“Wait, wait, wait. He’s homophobic?” Quill asked as the two of you chilled in his room on the Milano.

You shrugged. “Technically, it’s not confirmed, but the church he goes to definitely is. Chris Pratt has also been seen wearing a white supremist shirt.”

“Why is it only me that’s a bad person in your universe?” Quill laid down sideways on his bed.

“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him.” You pulled your knees to your chest to give Quill some space. You chuckled, “You know he’s called ‘The Worst Chris’ now?”

“Seriously? The worst Chris out of all the Chrises on Earth? Uuggghhhh!” He slapped one of his pillows onto his face.

“Not the whole world, Quill, just the Hollywood Chrises. Chris Evans is Steve Rogers. Chris Hemsworth is Thor. I haven’t seen Chris Pine here. Not yet anyway. Then there’s Chris Pratt, you. People say Pratt is the worst of the Chrises because of everything that’s come out about him.”

Quill hugged the pillow to his chest. “Well, I say the same thing. The guy might have the same face as me, but just don’t be homophobic. Or a white supremist. It’s not that hard.”

“That’s...not all he’s done, either,” you cringed.

Quill’s head lolled to the side. “What else?”

“Let’s see, he exposed himself to a fellow cast member to get the reaction he wanted on camera, and he made fun of another cast member to get the reaction he wanted on camera, and he made fun of another cast member on social media for getting sexually harassed.”

“Come on!” Quill stood and stormed away from you.

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m not Chris Pratt,” you called after Quill as you moved to sit on the side of his bed.

Star-Lord leaned against a nearby wall with his arms crossed. He kept his head down.

You got up and approached him. “And...you’re not Chris Pratt either, you know? I mean, yeah, he plays you on the movie screen where I come from, but that’s there, not here.” You gently placed a hand on his arm. “You’re Peter Quill. You’re Star-Lord. And I don’t know if you need me to tell you this, but you’re not homophobic. I’ve seen the way you around Sam, Steve, Bucky, Carol and Maria, Tony and Strange. I actually think you might be bisexual yourself, but that’s a conversation for another day. The point is that you’re a good person, Peter.”

Your little speech got Quill to smile. “Thank you, Y/n. You’re a good person, too. Probably the best Y/n I know.” He paused, waiting for a response in kind from you.

You came up short, biting your lip and cringing when you couldn’t respond.

Quill raised his brow. “And? Aren’t I the best Peter you know?”

“I have Parker to consider!” you tried to defend yourself.

“Spider-Boy?!” Quill exclaimed. “I’m the son of a planet!”

“I know you are!” you returned, fighting a smile. “I love all my Peters equally.”

Quill griped, “You’re mean to me.”

“I am perfectly nice to you,” you stated, “Now come on. It’s Drax’s turn to cook dinner, and by the smell of it, I think we need to intervene.”

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, I have more Marvel fics over on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

#peter quill #peter quill x reader #star lord #star lord x reader #star-lord #star-lord x reader #starlord #starlord x reader #guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy x reader #marvel #mcu #the worst chris #the worst chris/the best peter #the worst chris the best peter #chris pratt #companion jones

130 notes · View notes

happyandticklish · 2 years

Note

Um, hi. Look, I know by now you're probably annoyed by me always sending you posts from someone else's blog just to ask for your opinions on it (and I apologise 😔) but, something about this in particular hasn't been sitting well with me..

I'm just really confused.

Here: [ ◇ L I N K ◇ ]

I... I'm honestly scared to ask because, I'm not entirely sure if this even applies to you & your content. I mean.. on one hand it seems like it does, because, OP mentioned tickle fic blogs that write fics for fictional characters that are canonically not adults, and.. you and others have written a bunch of fics & headcanons for series involving characters that are minors (usually teens) (ie. MHA, South Park, Camp Camp, Gravity Falls, Heartstopper, etc. etc.). But- it's not like you've written anything in a way that's inappropriate/considered gross or illegal irl, if that's what they're implying. I'm not sure if they're talking specically about characters that are, like, under 10, and writing about the tickling in ways that (they feel) are inappropriate.

And about what the last person that reblogged said.. Do you think they were trying to criticise people in the sfw community who (genuinely) say tickling is a platonic bonding/comfort/hyperfixation/coping mechanism for them, or were they criticising people who use that as an excuse to write inappropriate stuff??

(Because *if* it's the former.. that'll just make me disappointed)

I just don't know what to make of this.. What do you think? (And it's fine if you can't think of and answer but still I'd like for you to post so that maybe someone else who's more knowledgable on this subject can better explain)

I'm sorry for bothering you with this. I promise I am not trying to attack or blame anyone here for anything and I'm not trying to start drama. I just really needed a second opinion on this post because I am.. so fricking dumb, and I'm not sure if what they're talking about should be applied to people like you or the fics you write. I just want to make sure they're not badmouthing anyone who doesn't deserve it.

Honestly anon, this is kind of a complicated issue, and while I understand you’re concerned, I’d prefer not to get involved in this too much. It just ends in people getting mad and not coming to agreements and blowing up about things people said, and I don’t want to deal with that. So I’m gonna say my two cents on the issue, but past that, I don’t really want to talk about it.

In the end, it’s fictional. Some people have tickling as a kink, others don’t. Some people are just vaguely interested in it, some people think it’s fun, for others it’s a coping mechanism. There’s also those who view it in a sexual manner, and those who view it romantically, but not necessarily sexually. It really depends on the person; you can’t break it down to it either is or isn’t a kink.

For instance, a lot of people draw art of the MHA characters kissing or cuddling or making out or a million other things, and 99% of the people making that art either aren’t minors, or on the cusp of not being them. And yet, the world thinks that’s fine, despite all of that being either romantic or sexual behavior.

IT DOES NOT MEAN THEY’RE SEXUALIZING MINORS IRL. Or that they view minors in a sexual light.

However, the fact of the manner is, sexual maturity (on a purely physical level) finishes when you’re around 12-15. That’s also around the age people first start getting those urges. You don’t turn 18 and suddenly gain your sexuality for the first time. Even if you abstain from sex (which I highly recommend) until you’re older, you still experience that same desire, you just have the common sense to wait. Minors are exposed to sexuality all the time through media, the internet, their peers, their parents who obviously boinked to even have them. We can try all we want to shield them, but they still see it. And sometimes, people engage in that activity before they’re 18. I’m not gonna determine whether you should wait till you’re 18, whether it’s okay at 16-17, or maybe we should all wait till 26 till our brains finish developing. Regardless, it happens.

And we know that. We advertise it on TV shows, in books, things like Love, Simon, Aristotle & Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe, Riverdale, Heartstopper (in the comics, and only really implied), Heathers, Never Have I Ever, even fucking Beastars (which no one cares about, because people are more weirded out that animals are fucking as opposed to minors). It’s encouraged in those shows and seen as normal. That is all content the world sees as fine, and child appropriate. The characters in MHA would probably end up having sex before they’re of age, because that’s just what people do and what the show seemed to ramp up to. MHA itself sexualizes practically all the students in the show, all of whom are minors.

And on that note, a lot of people on this site are anywhere around 18-22, which is a weird gap of time to be in in terms of all this stuff. If you’re 18, technically, simping for Todoroki would be considered simping for a minor. If you’re 17, it’s A-OK. And yet, it’s only a 1 year difference that somehow makes or breaks that situation. A lot of people on here made content for minors when they were minors, and then grew up, but still had the content lying around. That doesn’t automatically make them pedophiles, and we should not put that on them. Nor should we insist they delete all that material now that they’re older.

There are also people who can view tickling as both sexual and not sexual, depending on the circumstance, which is something a lot of people on here don’t understand. Just because tickling might be a kink for you, that doesn’t mean that’s the only lense you can view it under.

And all of that notwithstanding, everyone is fictional. No one’s committing a crime, everything’s perfectly legal, so let’s just let it go. Who cares whether you personally object to that? It’s not your business to butt into their business. Let people live their lives, and you do the same. If you have a problem with it, block them, unfollow them, don’t interact, fine, but don’t be a dick. It doesn’t solve anything, and only makes things more convoluted than they need to be.

None of this is directed at you, anon, btw!! This is just my opinion on the subject, so I hope that clarifies. I don’t know if it’s the answer you’re looking for, but it’s what I got, so I hope it helps!

#tickling #important #personal #asks #answered ask

15 notes · View notes

shelby-love · 4 years

Text

GEORGE WEASLEY

I'm Holy. Get it?

Requested: no

Prompts: none (all lines are from the movie save for the reader’s + some other)

Warning(s): I'd say if you haven't watched HP movie 7 don't read this but I mean...

[Y/FN or Y/MN] is your father’s name or your mother’s name, whichever you prefer :)

Word count: 2.6K

Author's note: This is set directly in the first part of the ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 1′ movie (Polyjuice scenes and arriving at the Burrow after the Sky battle). Reader reacts to George's injury kinda thing. I highly recommend rewatching those specific scenes so you get the feels:

Arrival at Privet Drive (watch first 50 seconds)

Full Polyjuice scenes

The Sky Battle (watch all if you want)

The Order at the Burrow after the Sky Battle

This is by far my favourite one-shot out of all of my work and it took me a while to write it so please like, reblog and let me know what you think! P.S. if you’re up for me to write a part 2, that one shot will be set before, during and after the wedding <3

MASTERLIST

Darkness set around Privet Drive seemed to be rippling, the air wafting all around. The Dursley's house, home of the famous chosen boy Harry came into view only as the brooms lowered to the ground. Not only brooms, in three cases skeletal, black winged horses too. Hagrid dominated the scene, sitting in an enormous motorbike you had begged him to give you a ride on, with goggles and a helmet set on his bearded face.

Despite not arriving in the motorbike, you had flown on the next best thing - a broom, with arms wrapped around your boyfriend, face nested against his shoulder and a million sweet nothings whispered into your ears on the way over.

You were pleased to say the least.

One by one, you lifted the Disillusionment Charms, coming into view for Harry Potter to see through the window of his room.

George Weasley dismounted the broom with ease, helping you off by letting you put your hand on his strong shoulders.

Harry pulled the front door open, eyes wide upon hearing Hermione screech and fling her arms around him. Ron: the next best thing how George and Fred always say, clapped his best friend's back and waltzed into the house after Hermione.

You stood outside, holding George's hand, body molded against his and watched the scenes unfold with the rest of the Order - Bill, Fleur, Tonks, Lupin, Arthur, Mad-Eye Moody, Kingsley, Fred and George. You were accompanied by Mundungus Fletcher: a small, dirty man with droopy eyes and hair that was non-existent. Behind Mad-Eye stood a slender man in a dark suit, having just dismounted the third winged horse. He was handsome, so to speak, with black hair brushed behind and dark glasses shielding his eyes.

"Who wears sunglasses at midnight?" Fred had mumbled when he saw the man for the first time at the headquarters. You laughed immediately, agreeing by throwing a joke of your own.

George was protective; he made sure you weren't close to either of them as you followed the rest of the Order inside. As was Bill, his older brother, who had a hand on his fiancée's back, ushering her inside while placing himself as a human shield against Mundungus and the stranger. You were thankful for George, just like Fleur for Bill - you saw it in her eyes when you made it inside the small, family home that was once filled with furniture.

"Hello, Harry. Bill Weasley," said the oldest brother, hand extended for Harry to take.

"Ah, pleasure to meet you," this was the first time Harry had met the oldest Weasley and he shook his hand immediately and gave Fleur a hug right after.

"Wasn't always this handsome." Fred teased, pushing through the small crowd of people.

"Dead ugly," Your boyfriend added, holding your hand, and pushing you in front of him as the auror walked in right after you three did.

You released George's hand and came in to give Harry a hug, who you considered to be your close friend. "Are you going back to Hogwarts?" The boy asked you, knowing you were as old as him and his closest friends.

You shook your head, "My parents are in the Order as much as I am. I'll go when we defeat him. At least that's what I have planned."

"Of course, she'll go," Hermione interjected, not wanting to take the N.E.W.T. alone.

"No, she'll work with me," George butted in the conversation, grinning. "She'll be our salesman."

"Or saleswoman!" Fred voiced somewhere around the house.

Your lips spread into a grin instinctively as you placed a hand into George's already extended one and joined him somewhere else, letting Harry get to know a little bit more about Bill and his scar.

"-the joker," the last of Tonks' words made their way into your ears. The bubbly woman came to stand next to you. "By the way, wait until you hear the news! Remus and I are -"

"All right, all right!" Mad-Eye interrupted Tonks mid-sentence. You gave her a smile and a glance at her belly. She smiled in return. "You’ll all have time for a cozy catch-up later! We’ve got to get the hell out of here and soon!"

"What news?" George leaned in and whispered into your ear, Fred leaning in too.

"Doesn't matter," You told him. It was Tonks' announcement, not yours.

"Babe, pleasee," he whined, but you stood your ground and elbowed him in his abs.

George yelped behind you, drawing in attention. The adults turned around to look but he composed himself immediately, placing on a carefree smile and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, brushing them all off with the actions.

You missed half the conversation about the Trace the Ministry had on every underage witch and wizard. You thankfully didn't have the Trace for several months now but you did pity Harry in that aspect. The Trace was not an easy pill to swallow for an underage wizard like himself.

"The real one...?"

Moody drew a flask from one of his pockets.

"I believe you're familiar with this particular brew."

"No! Absolutely not!"

Hermione sighed, "I told you he'd take it well."

Harry, the always humble boy shook his head. You didn't see his face because you stood in the back, but you could imagine it very well. "If you think I'm going to let people risk their lives for me-"

"Never done that before, have we?" Ron mumbled, rather audibly so that everyone heard him.

"This is different. Taking that. Becoming me - no."

"Well, none of us really fancy it, mate." Fred said earnestly.

"Yeah imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as scrawny, specky gits forever." Your boyfriend added after him.

Harry didn't smile at that.

But you did - and that was enough for the Weasley twins.

You focused on the conversation that went on, cringing with George when Mundungus started to speak.

Suddenly, Hermione mercilessly grabbed a tuft of Harry's jet-black hair, yanking several pieces out and placing the strands into the flask.

"Blimey Hermione!"

Moody held out the flask in which the potion was connecting itself to the strands of hair. The mud like liquid gave an awfully displeasing imitation of brewing, but it turned to gold liquid soon and you let out a breath of relief.

But relief was soon replaced with dread as you realized what awaited you. Instinctively, you stepped back only to crash into George who had stepped behind you, knowing what you would do. Your boyfriend placed his hands on your shoulders and walked you to stand in line with the rest of soon-to-be-fake-Harry-Potters. "You aren't going anywhere luv."

George slapped your shoulders for effect.

"For those of you who haven't taken Polyjuice Potion before, fair warning. It tastes like goblin piss."

You visibly shuddered as you stood between the twins, Moody's fake eye catching you in a locked gaze.

"Have a lot of experience with that, do you, Mad-Eye?"

Moody's eye switches from you onto Fred. "Just trying to defuse the tension."

Fred gingerly took a sip, cringing in distaste immediately after.

He tried to hand the flask over to you, but you shook your head and dashed over to stand after George, not before him.

Why didn't he start from the other end of the line?

You were fine with standing next to Mungundus - the petty criminal, just not with taking a sip of that potion.

"My girlfriend's just scared," George smiled apologetically, still trying to defuse the tension just like his brother.

Both twins shrinked immediately after drinking it, and you swallowed the remains of your saliva and took the flask from your now very short boyfriend. "Cheers." You muttered, taking a small sip from the flask.

"That's not nearly enough! Blimey drink some more!" Mad-Eye barked at you and you did as he said, taking a much bigger sip this time round.

He finally nodded and stepped aside.

You felt your features bubble up uncomfortably, until the transformation ended, and 8 Harry Potters stood in the kitchen that had once belonged to Harry's evil muggle caretakers.

"Wow - we're identical!" Fred and George said at the same.

"Not yet you aren't," Moody mumbled, pulling out the sacks with eight identical sets of clothes.

You, Fleur and Hermione grabbed for the clothes immediately, your bras suddenly feeling everything but comfortable against your now flat chest.

"Don't have something a bit more sporty, do you?'" George asked, looking at the red shirt puzzled.

"Yes, don't fancy this color at all." Fred agreed.

"Fancy this: You're not you, so shut it and strip." Mad-eye exclaimed, turning to Harry. "You'll need to change too, Potter."

Harry looks around and self-consciously begins to strip. The other in takers of the potion had no concern when they stripped off their clothes. As for you, when you glanced underneath the shirt and indeed saw that your breasts were no longer there, you had no problem when taking off your shirt and bra. Any ounce of self-consciousness that was there disappeared once coming to terms that the body wasn't yours.

"Harry," you started, your voice the only thing left that was your own save for the clothes you were currently taking off. "Sorry for exposing you like this. But if it makes you feel any better...you have a nice body?"

You didn't really know to which Harry you were talking to, but one look at the Harry who didn't smile, the one that looked rather angry was enough to know he wasn't the real Harry. It was George. "I mean...that's kind of a compliment to you too... Right Fred?"

"It's a compliment," A different Harry but with Fred's voice said. "Take it or leave it George."

"Help me with this?" You decided to say instead, your cheeks flushing red as you turned around to give George space to unclip your bra.

"Never thought, I'd see the day Harry helps himself take off a bra," Ron mumbled with a laugh, having just finished commenting about his best friend's non existing tattoo.

"Shut it, Ron." Harry's voice came from somewhere amongst the crowd. Real Harry's voice.

George then helped you put on your red shirt in a haste, just now starting to smile. "I'm helping Harry Potter with his clothes the same way I would help my girlfriend."

"But it is me you dimwit!"

"Right then," Moody started to talk again, just after George helped you with your jacket. "We'll be pairing off. Each Potter will have a protector. As for you, Harry..."

"Yes?" Every Potter, real and fake, said in unison.

"The real Harry! Where the devil are you, anyway?"

"Here." The real Harry raised his hand and Moody's eyes rotated onto him.

"You'll ride with Hagrid." He said, "As for [Y/FN or Y/MN]'s kid... Where in the bloody hell are you even?"

Hearing those words, you raised a shaky hand. "I'm here sir."

"Good," Mad-Eye took note. "You'll be going with Ren on one of the thestrals."

"R-ren?"

The dark figure you and George so desperately tried to avoid stepped into the room right at that moment. "Yes, Ren. He's one of our best Aurors. Good and loyal - exactly the ones that are the hardest to find."

"O-kay," You said uneasily and turned around to face George. As weird as it sounded, fake Harrys holding comforting hands weren't a weird sight if you imagined hard enough to see George and Y/N.

That's what you did at that moment at least.

Held Harry's hand and tried to imagine George.

"Let's go."

***

"I'll see you at the Burrow, okay?" You told George, voice laced with worry.

"I would kiss you right now if you didn't look like Harry," He said.

You nodded in understanding, "Me too George. Me too."

The two of you went to your respective protectors - George with Remus and you with Ren.

You ignored the man when you came up to him and only gave him a look when he was supposed to help you up on the calm horse like creature.

"Hang on tight," was the last thing he said before the thestral flew the moment Moody finished counting.

You did hold him, only not as closely like on the broom with George.

***

"Confringo!" You yelled, holding out your wand in the direction of the Death Eaters. A bright blast flew out of your wand, hitting one of Voldemort's followers and sending him off his broom to be eaten away by the wind.

They were catching up to you, not bothered by the aggressive sways of the wind. Whether the thestral was acting out in fear or in rage - you wouldn't know.

"We're almost there!"

True to his words, the two of you broke through the protective spells of the headquarters, landing somewhere on the land, away from the Burrow.

You heaped off the thestral immediately. "Do you really plan on walking all the way back?"

You didn't know what to tell Ren as you continued to walk on unsteady legs. Your brain was mushed, fried even due to the number of curses you evaded and had been struck with.

"I-I..." You started, but words weren't coming out. "We're the last ones to arrive. I'm sure of it!"

"What difference does that make?"

"What difference..." You repeated, not believing what he was saying. "They maybe think we're dead! George might-"

George might think I'm dead.

It crushed your whole being. The lingering thought that they might not be okay...

"Come back," Ren interjected, slashing through your mind with his words. "We'll be faster on the thestral."

As much as you didn't want him to be right...he was. And so you turned back around and grabbed his hand, sitting back on the thestral - cold and scared for everyone's lives.

Especially George's.

***

"Oi! Let her go! Let her go!"

Remus Lupin ignored everyone as he pointed the tip of his wand to you, sending your still very Harry looking body hurling to the ground.

In the end it was Fred, George's older twin, who had marched out of the house and pushed Remus away. Fred looked like himself again, making it all ten times scarier. You had tears in your eyes as he pointed his wand at you and never felt so threatened in your life. "What was the place where you first met George and me?!"

His screaming had you struggling for words. "Answer me!"

"Filch's office you bloody dung brain!" You screamed back, feeling your face return back to normal.

Fred's face softened instantly as he came down to help you up. He hugged you the moment you were back standing. "Fred, what's going on?"

"It's George."

***

"Where is he?" You barged into the cramped house, looking around the whole place frantically. You followed Fred into the sitting room, where Molly had tended to her injured son when he was first brought in.

George lied on the couch, his bleeding had stopped thanks to his mother, but under the light you saw a clean hole where George's ear had been.

You dropped to your knees by his side immediately.

You could practically see the struggle he had with opening his eyes which he never had trouble with before, especially not when he was trying to look at you.

"How is he?"

Fred answered glancing at the bandages, "It could have been much worse. We can't make the ear grow back since it was removed by dark magic."

You shook your head, wiping your tears with the sides of your index fingers before brushing George's hair out of the way. "He wouldn't want you to."

"Yeah," Fred agreed. "He's a tough nut."

You voiced your agreement with your laugh, "Yeah, he is."

The two of you admired George in silence for a few moments. The room has been cleared, leaving only the three of you there. "I'm sorry for jumping on you like that."

It wasn't common for Fred to be so serious, and because you didn't even want to think about your arrival, you gave him a small smile, "It's okay Fred. I would have done the same."

"I know."

"What did he say?" You asked quietly, "Before he passed out."

"That he was holy."

"Holy?"

"Yep," Fred said, the teasing tone to his voice returning as he pointed to his ear for demonstration. "Holy. You get it?"

"Thank God! He's alright!"

MASTERLIST

Tags (general (all posts)): @fofisstilinski @short-potato @miranda0102 @httphiddlestan @caromichaela @xx-missunicorn-xx @jemmakates @theravenclawmarauder @httphiddlestan @tclaerh @chefdoeuvre @abimoon @sofiasamps @princxss-fia @thirstykpophoe

Tags (Harry Potter): /

Let me know if you want to be added to my Harry Potter tag list! My updated tag lists ♡

p.s. tumblr is being a b again and isn’t allowing me to tag people

#george weasley #george weasley imagine #george weasley fluff #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley x reader #george weasley one shot #george weasley fanfic #harry potter and the deathly hallows imagine #harry potter imagine #harry potter one shot #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter reader insert #harry potter fanfic #harry potter

347 notes · View notes

atlafan · 4 years

Text

Office Neighbors - Part Four

a/n: alright, the angst in this is...ANGSTY, so please be careful lmao, I think the smut and fluff makes up for it though, but you tell me. enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are helpful!) (not proofread, I’m sorry)

warnings: fluff, angst, smut

words: 17K

masterpost

You were in a large t-shirt, underwear, and a pair of socks, getting your things packed for the conference. Harry would be picking you up around eight to hit the road for New York so you wanted to make sure you weren’t scrambling in the morning. You had your A/C cranked as you were running around so you wouldn’t be sweaty before bed.

The buzzer for your door goes off, and a shock goes through your system. You look out the window towards the street and you see Harry’s car lit up by the street light. You rush over to your door to buzz him in. You don’t even have time to consider putting something cuter on by the time he’s coming in through your door.

“Harry, what are y-“

He drops a small bag he brought with him, and pushes you up against the wall crashing his lips to yours. His hands drag down your hips and to your thighs to hoist you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist and tug at his hair.

“Wh-what’s happening?” You breathe.

“I didn’t want it to happen at the hotel.”

“What?” He gives you an almost pained look. “Oh!” You look down at yourself. “I looked so much cuter for you the other day, though.”

“I can’t tell you how cute I think you look right now. Can I please take you to your bedroom?”

“Yes.” You kiss on his neck while he walks you down the hall to your bedroom. “I want you so bad, Harry.”

“I know, I want you too, I was being silly the other night.” He gets you onto your bed and kicks his shoes off before settling on top of you. “I want this…with you.”

“Me too.” You arch up to kiss him.

“You’re okay with all this? Me being here right now?”

“Yes, Harry.” You reach for the hem of your shirt and lift it off, revealing your breasts to him.

“Do you have condoms?” He says as he licks over one of nipples.

“Y-yeah, in my bathroom.”

He hums his response as he kisses down your stomach. Everything felt hazy. When he looks up at you to speak, a buzzing sound comes out of his mouth.

“Huh?”

Your eyes flutter open to the sound of your alarm, and you nearly start crying from anger.

“Oh, for the love God!” You groan as you kick your blankets back.

It had been a couple of days since you were intimate with Harry. He called you the next morning to see how you were, ever the gentleman. He had a chance to see Andy before the conference, so he took it, not that you blamed him, but you were sort of hoping he’d come by and rail you.

You take a very quick shower, and make sure your things are together before he comes to pick you up. You had been up late getting everything packed, and clearly the stress from that had gone into your dream, and dream Harry came to relieve you of that stress. You just wish the real Harry would. Not that the other night wasn’t amazing, because it was, you were just sort of hoping to fully have sex with him. You understood him and you didn’t at the same time. What was the difference between having his dick in your mouth or having it in your vagina? You knew have sex was serious, and he probably had to be careful about who he got into relationships with because of his son, but he’s known you almost a year…doesn’t he trust you?

You’re taken from your thoughts when you hear your buzzer. You perk up a bit, and grab your backpack, and rolling luggage, and head out the door. Harry’s waiting outside his car with his trunk open. He looked really handsome. He was wearing a pair of light blue shorts, a white t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses.

“Morning!” He says. “Got coffee and a breakfast sandwich for you in the car, I stopped off at Dunks.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.” You kiss him on the cheek and he puts your luggage in the trunk. You keep your backpack with you in case there’s anything you may need.

“So, it’ll be roughly four and half hours. We can stop anytime you want, don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“Do you…drive through the city often?”

“Not really, why?”

“Well…it’s just…do you mind if I do the first half of the drive? I’d like to gets us through Boston.”

“We don’t need to go that way. We’re going to take 93 to 293 and go through Manchester, and then eventually we’ll switch to 95, no need to go through Boston at all, love.”

“Oh…alright then.” You get the passenger seat and buckle up. He gets in the driver’s side, and pulls onto the street.

“That’s not to say you can’t drive, we can take turns. Or I can drive there and you can drive back, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“I just…sometimes I get road rage and I can be sort of a back seat driver, especially when it comes to driving in the city, but if we’re not going through Boston we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Don’t forget, I do go to London quite a bit, people drive like wankers out there just the same, so I know what I’m doing.” He smirks at you.

“Mhm.” You nudge him.

“Did you sleep well? I feel like I never sleep well before big outings like this, no idea why.”

“Yeah, um, I slept alright.” Your face flushes a little as you remember your very vivid dream. “Slept like a rock, really.” You clear your throat. “What did you do with Andy?”

“I took him up to the cabin for some alone time. Went kayaking, made a little fire, it was fun.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, he says hello by the way.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.”

“He asked a lot of questions about you, he’s so nosey.” Harry chuckles.

“Probably just wants to make sure you’re not going out with a crazy person.” You laugh and open up your breakfast sandwich. You take a bite, and then have a sip of coffee. “Thanks again for breakfast, so nice of you.”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it. I have a little cooler in the back seat as well with other snacks if you get hungry.”

“Gee, thanks, Daddy, did you pack capri-suns? Those are my favorite.” You grin at him as you tease him.

“Make fun all you want, but when you get hungry or thirsty, you’re gonna be happy I prepared.” He side eyes you. “I have a tough time taking my dad hat off sometimes, alright?”

“No, no, it’s nice that you think ahead. I appreciate it.” You put your hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “You just make it very easy to tease you sometimes.”

“Glad I can be a source of entertainment for you.”

“Hey, someone has to be on this long ass ride.”

“Long ass ride.” He chuckles.

“Yeah, it’s mad long.” You say as you look out the window.

“Mad long kid.” He says in a horrible Boston accent and you slowly turn to face him.

“Was that supposed to be me?” You laugh. “I don’t think you want to play the accent game, pal.”

“I think it’s cute when you let it out a little. I think you said ‘wicked’ in one of the classes I observed and I had to try not to laugh, or like any time you say ‘pissed’.”

“Everyone uses those words! It’s not like I’m sitting there going, ‘that’s wicked pissah, guy’, give me some credit.”

“See, again, I just think it’s cute.” He smiles. “Say more super-Boston words, what’s another good one?”

“Umm, god, I don’t know.” You giggle. “Is dungaree one?”

“What in the fuck is a dungaree?” He laughs.

“It’s another way to say blue jeans.” You laugh. “My parents and grandparents used to say it all the time. I don’t know if it’s a Boston thing though. Umm, spuckie is like a sub sandwich…sort of an East Boston thing though, so not everyone says it.”

“I notice you dropping your R’s a lot towards the end of the day. You don’t really have much of an accent otherwise.”

“I sort of trained myself not to have one because it’s fucking annoying. You sound like a moron. I think it just comes out more when I’m tired.” You shrug. “Do you mind if I connect my phone to the Bluetooth? Listening to NPR the entire time doesn’t sound like fun…”

“Not into morning radio, huh? Sure, you can just use my phone since I have the GPS going.” He grabs it out of the cup holder and unlocks it for you.

“Thanks.” You go into Spotify and slightly snoop at his Daily Mixes. You didn’t listen to a lot of the same stuff, but you did some similarities.

“Anything but top-40 is fine with me.”

“Don’t like pop?”

“No, I do, I just hate listening to the same shit that’s always on the radio.”

“Fair enough.”

“Put on…put on music you would have listened to in college or something.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to expose myself like that!” You giggle. “I listened to a lot of degrading RnB.”

“Ha!” He shakes his head. “Please, find a playlist and put it on, I’m dying to know.”

“Alright.” You find a playlist with RnB songs from the later 2000’s and figure that will suffice. Rude Boy by Rihanna plays first, a great start. “Ugh, love this song.” You say and put his phone down.

“This is what you’d party to?”

“Sometimes.” You shrug. “It’s just a good song in general. I like Rihanna…do you?”

“She’s not bad.” He shrugs. “I probably wouldn’t let Andy listen to her.”

“Oh, but that’s half the fun! Being a kid and listening to really inappropriate music in your room, pretending like you know what they’re talking about. Used to do it all the time with Eminem.”

“Same here, actually.” He chuckles. You sing softly to yourself and he smiles. “Don’t be afraid to belt it out, I sing in the car all the time.”

“Really? Because you haven’t done it once since I’ve known you.”

“Good point.” He turns the music up and sings along with the chorus and you start laughing. “Come on, Y/N!”

You start singing with him, and that continues on a lot throughout most of the car ride. Around the halfway point, you stop at a rest area to use the bathroom and freshen up. You both grab a slice of pizza for an early lunch, and then head back to the car.

“Do you want me to drive, Har?”

“No, I’m fine…unless I’m making you car sick…”

“No! I just didn’t know if you needed a break.”

“I’m really all set, but thanks.” He pecks your lips quickly and then you both get into the car. “What do you feel like listening to now?”

“You pick.” You smile.

“No I want you to…I like knowing what you’re into…” He blushes.

“Do you like rock music at all? My mom used to listen to all those 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s bands. Might be night to take a break from the profanity.” You chuckle.

“Rock works for me.”

“Eddie Money?”

“Crank it.”

You both giggle and you put on some music. You feel like the two of you have been putting on a concert, and it’s been so much fun.

You arrive at the hotel for the conference, and head right into the garage to park it. Harry gets a ticket that he’ll be able to get validated inside. He helps you with your things, and then you both head inside to check in.

“Harry Styles.” He says to the woman at the desk. You go to the person to her.

“Ah, Dr. Styles, great to have you for the CMT conference. Did you take a ticket for the garage?”

“Yes, here it is, thanks.” She takes it and stamps it.

“Right, and you’ll be here three days, correct?”

“Yes.”

She types on her keyboard and makes some rapid clicks.

“Alright, you’ll be on the twenty-fifth floor, here are two room keys, Wi-Fi is included, and there’s complimentary breakfast every morning.”

“Wonderful, thank you so much.” He looks at you and steps back to wait until you’re given everything. “What floor are you on?” He asks as you both head to the elevator.

“The twentieth, you?”

“Twenty-fifth…I think they gave me a suite or something.”

“Oo, fancy.” You smile. “I asked for a room with two beds so I wouldn’t be shoved into a closet sized room.”

“Smart.”

You both head into the elevator, and Harry follows you out once you’re on your floor. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna get you in your room in case there are any creeps watching through their peep holes.”

“Harry…I’ve been to a hotel alone before.”

“I’m sure you have…it’s just for my own peace of mind, humor me?”

“Alright.” You shrug. You key in and he comes in with you. “Still tight, but definitely more floor space with two beds.” You hoist your luggage on top of one of the beds and sit down on the other. “I think I’m gonna relax, get settled for a bit, but do you wanna get dinner later? We could just go to the hotel bar.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Wouldn’t mind a quick nap, honestly.” He yawns. “See you soon.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead before heading out.

You end up falling asleep for a bit, and then you put on a bit of a nicer outfit for dinner. Harry tells you he’ll meet you outside your room for dinner. He looked a lot nicer too.

“Hey.” You smile and hug him.

“Hey.” He kisses the top of your head, and holds your hand on your way to the elevator.

“Are you happy you get your presentation over with tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely. Then I’ll be able to enjoy the rest of it.” You both find a spot at the bar and order a couple of drinks while you look over the menu. “Did you want to split something? I’m not starving.”

“Me neither, yeah, that sounds good.” You furrow your brows at the menu and gasp. “Har! They have vegan Buffalo wings, can we please get that?!”

“Yeah, that sounds like it’ll really hit the spot.”

“And curly fries, gotta have curly fries.”

“Agreed.” He smiles.

You both order the food and clink your cocktail glasses once they come to you. The Buffalo wings really did hit the spot because you both scarfed the down.

“I wonder if we’ll run into anyone we know here. I’ve been to this conference once before, but it was a couple of years ago.”

“We all sort of go to different ones, like, our faculty. Plus, not a lot of people go to ones in the summer because they don’t want to think about work, but I like it. I feel like it keeps me fresh for the school year, you know?”

“Mhm.” You smile and just listen to him talk for a little bit. Harry was so incredibly intelligent, and you always liked listening his thoughts on things.

After a couple of drinks you both decide to call it a night since Harry would need to be up early in the morning to prepare for his presentation. He walks you to your room, just as he did earlier.

“Well…goodnight.” He says.

“Did you want to come in?” You nod towards your door.

“I do…but…I probably shouldn’t. I need to get to sleep…”

“Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s really okay, I don’t wanna be the reason you’re tired tomorrow.” You wink at him and peck his cheek. “See you for breakfast?”

“Definitely.” He smiles and waits for you to go inside before walking back to the elevator.

You wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. You take a quick shower, and put on a pair of grey slacks paired with a pink blouse and navy blazer. You liked looking nicer at these types of things. You put your hair up into your buns, just so you still looked a little fun, and head down to breakfast with your laptop bag slung over your shoulder. Your jaw nearly drops when you see Harry down at the breakfast restaurant. He was wearing a suit…you had never seen him in one before. It was brown, and he was wearing a purple button up underneath it.

“Y/N!” He snaps you out of your trance as he waves you over.

“Hey.”

“Morning.” He smiles and kisses you quickly. “You look nice.”

“Thanks…so do you, I mean…you look…so handsome.”

“Oh, stop.” He swats a hand at you. “It’s just dress pants and a matching jacket.”

“No…it’s more than that. I mean, look at all the other people. Blue or black slacks, white button ups. You’re very fashion forward.”

“You’re just now realizing? Well, how nice of you to come out from under your rock.” He winks at you, and you put your bag down so you can go up to the buffet with him.

“Yours it at ten, right?”

“Yup. Which session are you going to first?”

“There’s a working session about advising that I wanna go to, just to get some tips since I’m advising this year.”

“That’s a great idea.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not going to anything this morning, just so I can focus. I’m gonna practice my presentation again.”

“I’m excited to see all of your data. I hope more schools will see they should be offering wellness courses.”

Your first session was extremely eye opening for you. You head to bathroom quick, and then go to where Harry’s lecture will be. You weren’t sure where to sit. You knew he hated when people sat in the back of his class, so you knew not to sit all the way in the back. You decide on the fourth row. Not too far back, but not right up front either. You didn’t want to make him nervous. Seats were filling in here and there, which you were happy to see. Harry loved an audience.

“Y/N, is that you?”

“Dr. Pierce!” You gasp and stand up to hug your old friend.

“Please, you know you can just call me Arthur.” He chuckles.

“Old habits, would you like to sit with me?”

“Not saving it for anyone else?”

“No, the person I would be is going to be presenting.”

“Ah!” He says, sitting down next to you. “You know Dr. Styles?”

“I do, we’re colleagues actually. Office neighbors, in fact.”

“Good for you, he’s very bright. I’ve read a lot of his work, it’s refreshing.” He looks you up and down. “You look wonderful, your new institution is treating you well?”

“Very well! Thank you.” You smile. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“You’re just saying that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “This kids today are turning my hair white.” He laughs. “That’s why I wanted to check this out. Maybe if I can find a way to make them less stressed, I’ll be less stressed.”

“You’ve definitely come to the right place, Harry is the king of no stress.”

Harry could see the audience filing in from behind a curtain. He smiles when he sees you, and then squints when he sees you speaking with the man next to you. It was clear you knew each other and it wasn’t some stranger sparking up a conversation. He could tell because you nudged him after he made you laugh, something you would only do with a friend. He sighs and pushes his glasses up his nose. He can hear himself being introduced, and then he walks out. The room claps and he nods his head once he’s at the lectern. He was given a lapel mic to wear so everyone could hear him, and a remote to turn his slides. This was he could easily walk around the stage.

“Good morning everyone, I hope you enjoyed your first sessions…or an extremely long breakfast, whichever.” He shrugs and the crowd laughs. “I’m Dr. Harry Styles, and I’m so happy you’ve decided to spend your time with me this morning.”

You smile as he says this. You remember him saying this to his wellness class when you observed it. He said it to them everyone morning.

“I say this to my students every time we meet because even though, much like you, they’ve paid to be there, they still have to make the choice to get up and come to class.” He changes his slide. “I teach a class called Communication, Media, and Wellness, it’s just one of the few I teach, and I only offer it at eight in the morning.” He hears some people make comments and he grins. “My attendance rate is one-hundred percent throughout the semester, wanna know how I do it?” He changes the slide, and shows a picture of his classroom with students, desks in a circle, heads down on the desks. “We take the first ten to fifteen minutes to meditate, and then we do the same with the last five minutes. I give them time to settle in and clear their minds. Some fall asleep, some work on their breathing, and some just listen to me speak.” He changes his slide. “We talk about a lot of things in this class. We talk about what we see on the news, social media, and everything in between. We talk about how those things make us feel. We talk about tactics to help ease our anxiety, and if I’m noticing a particular energy, we break out the yoga mats and do some stretching.” He changes the slide again. “Students today are anxious about everything. They’ve grown up during some really tough times, never truly feeling safe. I’m here to help them learn how to cope.”

Harry goes over some data he’s collected over the last few years. He sends surveys to his previous students every semester until they graduate, and then twice again after they graduate. Everyone that’s taken his class thus far has graduated, and those that haven’t graduated yet all had high GPA’s. He shows comparisons of their GPA before the class (it’s only offered to sophomores and up right now), and their GPA after taking the class. There were only improvements.

“These students are able to take what they’ve learned with me and apply it in other classrooms and in their lives outside the classroom. The biggest thing I explain to them is to not be on their phones before bed, to not even watch TV really. It’s too stimulating, and sometimes it causes anxiety and then you can’t fall asleep.” He changes the slide and the crowd laughs. It was a picture of students presenting Harry with a sign that says ‘NO SCREEN BEFORE BED’. “This group made me this because I must have said it a hundred times that semester. I keep it hung up in my office.” He changes the slide to show students in their place of work after graduation. “Many of the results I got from my graduated students are that they’ve taken things with them. I have students have fallen in love with reading before bed, or they listen to a podcast, or use some type of app that tells them a story at night to help them fall asleep. They they’re able to wake up refreshed and ready for the day. Many of them even wake up and mediate to help them really become alert.” He changes the slide again to a picture of him giving a yoga lesson outside on the quad. “I know this may seem silly, but it really does help these students. Offering a class for credit on this allows them to already build it into their schedule, rather than offering classes at the gym that they really have no obligation or incentive to go to. This is a CM course, but it also counts towards our school’s general education requirement. We call it a Wellness Connection, so any student can take this course. I’ve had such a mix of students take this course, and they’ve all come out better for it. Offering something like this in today’s age is extremely important for our students who are facing so many hardships. I hope you’ll consider implementing some of this into your classrooms.” He looks out to everyone and smiles. “Thank you.”

Everyone claps, and someone else comes out and tell everyone that there’s about fifteen minutes for questions. Harry gets a few and is able to answer them best he can. Once it’s all done he takes a deep breath and sits on the stage. He knew some people would want to come up to him afterwards.

“Will I see you later?” Arthur says to you as you both stand up.

“I’m not sure…I doubt we’ll be at all of the same sessions.”

“Maybe at the bar later then?”

“Maybe.” You smile. “If not…it was really good to see you.”

“You too.” He hugs you again. Harry sees this and furrows his brows.

You grab your things and walk over to him.

“Excuse me, Dr. Styles, I have a question.” You grin.

“And what might that be?” He says, taking his suit jacket off and rolling his sleeve ups.

“How are you so incredible?”

“Y/N.”

“I mean it! I was floored. What incredible data, and it’s all true! It’s all things we notice in our classrooms. I really need to implement that no screen thing into my own life, to be fair I tend to read on my phone, but-“ You realize how fast you’re talking when he raises his eyebrows at you. “Sorry…just a little excited.”

“I’m glad you got a lot out of it.” He smiles. “Who, uh, who was that guy you were sitting with?” He asks as you both walk out of the room.

“What guy? Oh! That was Dr. Pierce, he teaches at my previous institution. It was a nice surprise to see him. He spoke really highly of you too. He said he’s read a lot of your work, which is incredible because I’ve never once heard him say he likes anyone’s work but his own.” You laugh.

“Was he one of your professors?”

“Not necessarily…he was, um, a colleague…” You blush slightly. “I’m headed to the session on…what?”

“Was he the professor you-“

“Harry, now really isn’t the time, okay?” You say quietly. “It was before you and I even knew each other, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter when you were sitting with him.” He frowns.

“He’s just a friend.”

“A friend that you-“

“Not the time.” You snap. “You’re not my boyfriend, check yourself.” You huff and walk away from him so you’re not late for your next session.

His mouth falls open, silence coming from him when he tries to call after you. He shakes his head and heads to his next session.

You were so pissed you skipped lunch and went for a walk outside instead. You were barely able to concentrate during your session, and you didn’t answer any of Harry’s texts. Were you acting childish? Maybe, but you hated when men got like this. What the fuck did it matter if that was the professor you slept with? It was so long ago, and the two of you were friends. You didn’t want to sleep with anyone but Harry, couldn’t he see that?

By the end of the say you had calmed down, and you finally answer his text. He had asked you to come up to his room before dinner so you could talk. You knock on his door and he lets you in. He had changed into a pair of jeans a t-shirt, you were in still in your nice clothes.

“Harry, I-“

“Let’s get something straight.” He cuts you off, and you’re a little shocked by his tone. “You were right earlier, I’m not your boyfriend. In fact, I think it would be too soon for a label like that considering it’s only been about a month since we started all this.” He steps closer to you as you had backed away when he started talking. “But what I am is the person that you’re seeing, right? I’m the one who had their head between your legs just a few nights ago, so I don’t wanna hear it. It’s a stupid fucking word that people use to put some type of seriousness on their relationship, and I’ve never really understood it. You’re either with a person or you’re not, plain and simple.” He looks at you. “You acted like a fucking teenager earlier, you realize that right?”

“I was upset.”

“So you ignored me? You said something purposefully hurtful and then walked away? Is this how you handle things? You don’t like when someone says something to you that you don’t like so you shut down?”

“I didn’t shut down! We’re at a fucking conference and you were starting something with me that I told you wasn’t the time to start. We each had a session to get to! Unlike you, I paid to come here, Harry.”

“You still acted like-“

“Do you know much you disrespected me back there? Do you even care? There I was, amazed by you, and all you could care about was the fact that I used to sleep with someone, and I was polite to them. He asked me when he’d see me again and I totally brushed him off because I came here with you and I wanna spend my time with you!”

“You don’t even think it’s a little weird that a guy that much older than you wanted to sleep with you?”

“That’s society! Older men like younger girls, what can I say? Is it sickening at times? Sure! But at the time, when I was twenty-three, I wanted it. I was attracted to him, we got along really well, and I made a move, okay? Me, I made the first move.”

“He should have told you no.”

“But he didn’t! I rode that dick for an entire semester, and then summer happened, and he went across the country to go on sabbatical. It was a brief stint, okay?”

“You’re being vulgar.” He shakes his head.

“That shouldn’t be new to you. You’ve been out with Janette and I enough times to know how I talk. You’re making a big deal out of nothing, and for what? Are you jealous? Is that it? He’s fucked me and you haven’t?”

“I’m not jealous of that.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not jealous of anything, I just didn’t like watching you flirt with him from backstage.”

“I wasn’t…” Your eyes start to water. “I wasn’t flirting with him…I was just being nice…cordial.” You blink a few tears away. “I…need to go, I’ve lost my appetite.” You brush by him as you walk towards the door.

“Y/N.” He sighs. “Don’t go, we can work this out.”

“You basically just said having sex with me wasn’t anything special, so…yeah, I’m leaving.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You said you weren’t jealous of it!”

“Because I’m not! It would be a stupid thing to be jealous over. I may not have fucked you with my prick, but I got in there, I made you orgasm – twice! My main problem-“

“Well, I hope you enjoyed getting in there because it’s not happening again.” You were livid now. “Here I was, putting you on a pedestal for so long, but you’re just like every other guy. You’re an asshole!” You huff and turn towards the door again. “And if I’m acting like a teenager, then that makes you the tallest fucking baby I’ve ever seen in my life!” You leave and slam his door shut.

“You said what to her?!”

“Don’t yell at me! I called for help, Paige, not-“

“No, no, I will yell at you. Where do you even get off getting upset that she was talking to an old colleague?”

“I told you, they used to hook up, and he’s like fifteen years older than her, it’s gross, and I see it as him taking advantage of a young girl.”

“Harry…” Paige sighs. “It doesn’t matter how you see it, it’s how she sees it. She clearly didn’t think anything was wrong with it at the time, you can’t get mad at her for it. It was before you even knew each other. Ugh, this is just like when you punched Ryan Green at that party when you saw him talking to me.”

“Because he was the guy that dated you before me! He shouldn’t have been talking to you in the first place, he knew we were going out.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s about trust, and not jumping to conclusions. I don’t think I had ever been so mad at you.”

“Yeah…but…you forgave me…”

“And nine months later we got Andy, I know, I know.” She sighs. “You said some real hurtful shit to her. What happened to deep breaths before speaking?”

“I couldn’t help it…”

“You and your green eyed monster.”

“I have to apologize…I feel terrible. I put up a front, and it was like I had no control over anything I was saying. What if she doesn’t want to date me anymore?”

“Then it looks like you’ll have a really awkward drive home in a couple of days.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be, that’s the reality you’re facing. Now, from what you told me she said…it sounds like you both have some sorry’s to say. I agree she shouldn’t have ignored you all day, but maybe she just needed to cool off.”

“True…fuck, I really hope I didn’t fuck this.”

“You won’t know until you go down there and talk to her. Bring a peace offering, she’s got a sweet tooth, right?”

Harry taps on your door with one hand, and a boxed Oreo cheesecake in the other. You were in your pj’s already, just a large t-shirt and shorts. You sigh when you see him through the peep hole. You open the door, but only enough for the chain to stay latched.

“Hi.” You say softly.

“Can I come in?” He says just as softly. “I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I brought cheesecake…”

“What kind?”

“Oreo.”

You close the door and at first he feels defeated, but he hears you slide the latch and you open the door all the way, letting him in.

“Thanks.” He hands the box and the plastic fork to you. He sits down on one of the beds, and you sit across from him, taking a bite.

“Is this from downstairs?”

“No, I went one of the restaurants close by and got it.”

“Oh…thank you…it’s delicious…”

“Good.” You take another bite and set it aside. “You’ve been crying?” Your eyes were red and puffy.

“Balled my eyes out, actually.”

“I’m sorry, I feel terrible.”

“So do I.”

“It was my fault…I did disrespect you, and I lied…I was jealous. I know I have no control over anyone you’ve slept with previously, I just didn’t think I’d be in the same room as them with you acting all buddy-buddy. Why should a guy like that have the privilege of knowing you?”

“Why should you?” You scoff.

“Touché.” He smirks. “Suppose I don’t really deserve that privilege right now.”

“I didn’t know you could say such hurtful things to someone…is that how you are when you’re angry?”

“Not when I’m angry, but…I’ve sort of always had this problem with jealousy. I’ve tried everything to work on it. Believe it or not, I’m way better than I used to be. One time I punched one of Paige’s ex-boyfriend’s right in the face because he was talking to her at a party.”

“Yeah? And how’d she handle that?”

“Um…” His face flushes. “Well…she has her own issues so…uh…well…we got Andy out of it, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Aggression isn’t exactly a turn on for me. I don’t like macho guys who need to assert their dominance like that.” You look down. “I’m sorry I ignored you all day, I’m sure that didn’t feel good, and you probably didn’t like seeing how bratty I can be.” You sigh. “And I cried more so because…I don’t want this to be over, and…-“

“I don’t want it to be over either…it’s barely started.”

“Were you really just trying to look out for me?”

“It was a mix of that and being jealous. I mean…I can’t wrap my head around a forty-one year old guy being able to rock your shit.”

“Harry.” You chuckle. “He was in his late thirties at the time, give him some credit. Besides, who said I was getting my shit rocked? Maybe I was rocking his.” You smirk.

“Y/N.” Harry sighs and lets his head fall back.

“You need to know something, you’re, like, all I think about.”

“Really?” He looks at you again.

“Yeah…I don’t want anyone else, I don’t even know who else I could want, honestly.”

“I really am sorry for how I acted earlier.”

“Me too.” You bite your bottom lip. “But…I don’t wanna be spoken to like that again. I’m not your kid, Har.”

“I know that.” He says defensively.

“You, like, had your dad voice on.”

“I was just speaking sternly so you’d take me seriously.”

“I felt like I was getting a lecture from my father, I don’t need that from you. I think if something goes wrong we need to try to find a way to properly talk about it. It’s not just on you, it’s on me too, obviously. It’s something we can both work on.”

“Okay.”

“Do you wanna get cozy and split the rest of this with me?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” He perks up.

Harry kicks his shoes off and gets on the bed with you. You had some random movie on the TV, and you cutely feed him bites of the cheesecake off your fork.

“Just so you know, sweets can’t buy my affection.”

“It was a peace offering.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah…Paige gave me the idea.”

“What?” Your eyes grow wide. “Harry, you told her we had a fight?!”

“I had no one else to call for help!” He pouts. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I don’t want her knowing anything bad about me…I her want her to trust me with Andy.”

“She does.” He shrugs.

“She does?”

“Yeah…because I trust you.”

“Oh…well, I don’t want you running to her every time we have a disagreement.”

“Well, I was thinking this could be the only one we have.” You laugh at that and so does he. “Sorry, she’s still, like, my best friend, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to call my sister about this.”

“And notice…I’m not all jealous because you’re best friends with your ex.”

“It’s a little different, I’ve got a kid with her.”

“Most people I know who are divorced with kids aren’t as nice to each other.”

“We’re not divorced, we never got married, didn’t I tell you that? Maybe that’s why we don’t hate each other, nothing on paper that legally needed to be divided up.”

“Oh yeah…you did mention that once I think.” You set the box aside since there were only crumbs left, and look up at him. “I think I prefer when we disagree as colleagues better. I feel exhausted.”

“Same here.” He chuckles. “It’s also been a really long day. I should let you get to sleep.”

“Can’t sleep now, I just had all that sugar!” You laugh and crawl into his lap. You sigh as he starts to rub your back. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

“I’d like that.”

You nuzzle into his chest, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. You hear him take his glasses off and you look up at him again. You both slowly lean in, lips ghosting over each other, and then you’re kissing softly and slowly.

“Mm, you taste like Oreos.” He smiles against you and then bites down on your bottom lip, sucking it gently. You groan into him and he holds you closer.

“Please.” You breathe. “Can we-“

“I’d like to wait until we get home if that’s alright…we have another day of sessions, and then we’re heading back…we’ll get back late…and I might too tired to even get back to my place, so…”

“So then you’d have to come up to mine, just to be on the safe side.”

“Exactly.” He grins. You groan and then give him a lip smacking kiss.

“Okay, get out of my room.”

He laughs at you and you get off of him. He kisses you again before leaving. He was going to be the death of you.

Things were much better the next day. You both even went to some similar sessions. Luckily, Dr. Pierce was nowhere to be found, so you didn’t run into him. You both decide to skip the awards ceremony since it was mostly for board members anyways so you could hit the road.

“Alright, I’m driving.” You say. “You good with that?”

“Go for it.” He hands you the keys and you get into the driver’s seat.

You didn’t lie when you said you had road rage. Harry nearly had a heart attack every two seconds watching you weave in and out of lanes as you got out of the city.

“Get out of the left lane you fucking asshole!” You yell. “Look at this guy, can you believe it?” You look at Harry. “Let’s go!” You yell before he can say anything.

“Babe! Babe, relax, there’s no rush.” He says, putting his hand on your thigh.

“Wh-what?” Your features soften.

“I know you’re eager to get back, but let’s get there in one piece, yeah?”

“I…” You look at him quickly and then back to the road. “Yeah.” You swallow. Had he not realized that was the first time he called you babe? “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He chuckles. “Didn’t realize how badly you wanted to fuck me.” He smirks.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes as he gives your thigh a squeeze. “You just called me babe…”

“I know.” He nods. “Is that alright?”

“Yes.”

He leans over the console to kiss your cheek and then he sits back. He was really glad nothing got too fucked up between you. He liked you so much, he wanted to keep seeing where this was going.

It was dark by the time you pulled up to your apartment. You had stopped off at the same rest area and had a quick bite. You were sort of shocked that Harry let you drive the whole way, maybe he was saving his energy. You turn the car off and swallow.

“So…you’re coming up?”

“You want me to?”

“Yes.”

He nods and you both get out of the car. He opens the trunk to grab yours and his bags and then he locks the car. He follows you up to your apartment.

“If I could just have a second to go, um, freshen up…feel free to use the hall bath if you need it.” You were blushing, perhaps a little flustered at the prospect of what was to come. He simply nods at you before going to use the other bathroom.

You rush into your own bathroom with your things. You weren’t sure what you should do. Should you bother with a fresh pair of underwear? It was only going to come off…was Harry the type to even care about that sort of thing? Something tells you probably not. So, you just freshen up your deodorant, and put on a little perfume before going back out. He was bent over one of his bags putting his glasses away. You come up to him and slide your hand up his back. He stands up straight and looks down at you.

“You want this?” He asks softly.

“I want you, Harry…”

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to you. Your lips find his and his hands find your hips. He nibbles on your bottom lip, getting a soft moan from you. One of your hands slides up to his hair as he starts walking you back into your room. You both get on the bed and he hovers over you.

“I had a dream sort of like this the other night.” You smile up at him and he smiles back.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, but I’m already liking this better.”

“Why’s that?” He asks as he takes his shirt off.

“Because this is real and not something I can wake up from.” You run your hands up and down his torso and it sends a shiver up his spine.

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and you sit up so he can take it off. He immediately unhooks your bra to let your breasts free and attaches his hands to them. As he leans back down to kiss you, your hands work to undo his jeans, and you toe them down his legs so he can kick them off. He kisses down your chest, licking over both of your nipples, sucking on one, before kissing his way down your stomach. He undoes your shorts and tugs them down your legs, leaving you in your underwear. It wasn’t your sexiest pair, but he didn’t seem to really care as he started kissing you over them. Your hips buck up. No one had ever really done that to you before. You watch as he watches the wet spot become more damp and he presses his thumb into it. He looks up at you when he hears you gasp.

“I know, you want these to come off, right?”

“Please, Harry.”

He nods and hooks his fingers into your underwear to drag them down your legs. Once you’re fully naked before him he licks his lips like you’re a buffet ready to be devoured.

“There’s something I’d like to do…if you felt comfortable with it.” He says and your eyes light up. You were sort of hoping he was a little freaky.

“What?” You bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I’d like to eat you out from behind, can I do that?”

Okay, not as freaky as you thought, but definitely not something guys offered to do often.

“Sure.” You shrug, and roll over onto your stomach. You get up on your knees and elbows and look back at him.

He comes closer to you, holding you close as he kisses on the back of your neck. He works his way down your back, biting you occasionally to get you a little riled up. He bites into your left ass cheek and you grunt. You feel him spread you apart, and you buck forward when you feel his tongue slide between you folds.

“Stay still for me.” He says as he grips your hips, diving back in for more.

You grip at your blankets as you feel his tongue sliding up and down your slit. He adjusts you a little so he can briefly suck on your clit. You moan out when he does so, not wanting him to stop, but he does. His tongue enters you, going in and out, only briefly. You feel his fingers start to rub on your clit as his tongue slides back on your slit, back further, and up to your other hole. Your eyes widen when you feel his tongue there, he doesn’t enter you this way, but he was certainly getting a good lick. You couldn’t find it in you to care because his fingers were sliding into your cunt.

“Oh, fuck.” You groan as he pumps them in and out of you.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling so stimulated before, everything he was doing felt incredible. His tongue stays lapping around your other whole while his fingers fuck you from behind, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit.

“Oh my god, Harry.” You moan. He grunts against you, not letting up for a second.

Your body starts to feel warm all over, and you feel your stomach start to tighten. Your breathing is getting heavier, and you could feel sweat forming on your forehead. He was getting in so deep with just his fingers, and what he was doing with his tongue was sending you.

“H-Harry, I’m gonnaaaa-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you come around his fingers.

He retracts them and brings his tongue back around your folds to lick you clean. He sucks his fingers into his mouth as you slowly turn around to face him. You were shocked.

“Good?” He smirks.

You grin and tackle him down onto the bed, pinning him down and crashing your mouth to his. You sponge kisses to his jaw and neck and down his chest. He groans when you start grinding over his still covered cock.

“I think these should come off now, don’t you?” You say, already tugging at the band of his boxers.

“Yeah.” He lifts his hips to help you as you tug them the rest of the way down. Just as you’re inching your way down his body he grips your hips and pulls you back up.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not done with you yet.” Yup, he was definitely resting up in the car earlier. You get the gist and raise yourself over his mouth, and lower yourself so his tongue can be on you again.

“Fuck.” You breathe as he sucks on your clit.

You reach behind you to pump his hard dick, and he bucks up into your hand. You use your other hand to tug at his hair. He was moaning against you from the way you were jerking him off and it just added to the sensation on your core. His tongue slips inside you and you essentially start riding it.

“Fuck! Oh my god.” You groan. No one had fucked you like this in a very long time, and he hadn’t even put his dick into yet.

You have to use both hands to grip at your headboard when he starts sucking on your clit again, and slips two of his fingers inside you from behind. You were a mess above him, crying out and whining about how good it felt. You release onto his tongue and he sucks on you until you’ve ridden it out completely. You slowly get off of him and sink down onto the bed. You look at each other for a moment.

“You’re wild.” You chuckle.

“I told you…I can get a little excited.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Do you have any condoms handy? Mine are all packed away…”

“You packed some?” You look up at him with wide eyes.

“Well…I just wanted to be prepared in case anything happened…and then I went fucked it so-“

“Hey.” You cup his jaw. “It’s all good now, okay?” He leans into your touch and kisses your palm.

“Okay.”

“I keep them in the bathroom, just give me one second.” You get up and wobble slightly. Your legs felt like jelly after all that. You rummage through your cabinet below the sink and grab a few…just in case.

“How come you keep ‘em in there?” He asks as you come back out.

“I…don’t need them as often and I keep other things in my night tables.” You shrug and get back on the bed.

He cups your cheeks and brings you back down to him to kiss you. You hand him one of the condoms and toss the others on the night table. You lay on your back and lick your lips as he rolls it on.

“Is this the only form of birth control you use?” He asks as he shuffles to hover over you.

“Yeah…I got off the pill last year.”

“Oh, how come?”

“I just didn’t like the way it made me feel.” You clear your throat. It was the truth, but you also got off it so that if you met someone and got serious you would have an easier time getting pregnant when the time came, but you certainly weren’t going to say that to him. “Is it okay that we use condoms?”

“Yeah, I don’t care, I just don’t know if we had a backup is all.”

He slots his lips over yours and opens your legs up. He runs his fingers over your slit to make sure you’re still wet. He looks down to line himself up with you, and you push his hair away so he can see better.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yes, Harry.”

He smiles at you and slowly start to push in. Your mouth falls open at the feeling. He was thick, obviously, but holy shit. Not only is he really good at eating out, but his dick felt amazing. How any woman could have ever let him go was beyond you. He grunts once he’s all the way inside you. He gives you a second and then he starts to thrust in and out of you. He props himself up with one arm, and uses the other to hook under one of your legs to drive in a little deeper.

“Oh! That feels good.” You moan as your head rolls back. Your nails dig into his biceps.

“Yeah? Like feeling me this deep? You feel so good, Y/N.” He says into your ear and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“God, keep talking.” You tug at his hair.

“Could barely concentrate during my presentation the other day.” He says between kissing on your neck and shoulder. “You looked so beautiful.”

“Your confidence up there was so sexy, I was about ready to find a closet or something to blow you in afterwards.”

“Jesus.”

“Would you have liked that? If I just tugged in you somewhere discrete and made you feel good?”

“Yes.” He grunts. He sits up and puts both of your legs over his shoulders and fucks into your hard and fast.

You look up at him wide eyed and reach to scratch at his stomach before your hand lands on your clit. You rub circles into yourself as you both continue making eye contact. With each thrust you could tell he was looking for your g-spot, watching your features to see what feels good. When he hits it you gasp.

“Ha! Right there?”

“Yes, keep doing that, I’m close.” You whine and rub yourself faster.

“Should make you wait, you already had two, greedy.”

“Don’t be mean.” You pout. “Please, Har?”

He grins at you and continues to hit the spot over and over. He could feel you tightening and squeezing around him. You definitely were close.

“Oh! Oh my god! Harry, Harry!” Your back arches and squeeze around him especially hard. When you become too sensitive you pull your hand away from yourself. You thought he wouldn’t be much longer but there he was…rocking in and out of you.

He comes closer to you, burying his face in your neck, slow, precise thrusts. You dig your nails into his ass and he groans. Alright, he liked feeling your nails, this was something you knew for sure now.

“Can I get on top?” You nearly beg.

“Yeah.” He breathes.

He pulls out of you carefully and gets on his back. You swing a leg over him and sink down with ease. You raise and lower on him until you get a groove going. His hands slide up to your breasts and he kneads them. You were surprised he was letting you just ride him and that he wasn’t thrusting up into you, but you appreciated having the control. His hands move your hips and ass, squeezing at different locations. You smirk down at him.

“Can’t decide where I wanna touch you most.” He admits.

“Wanna feel you all over.”

His hands move up to your back and he pulls you down to him so your chests are flush together. He bends his legs at the knee and digs his feet into your bed so he could thrust into you, moving you up and down on him. You kiss on his neck and move to his mouth as you grind on him. You both were moving in sync, and you were getting the best friction against your clit. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to come again, having never had four in one go, but you both were up to the challenge. He moves you faster and faster on him. You have to detach your lips to breathe when you start panting.

“Shit!” You cry out when you feel your release. You rest your head on his chest, and gives you a moment to regain yourself before pulling out. “You…you didn’t come yet.”

“I know, we’re not done.” Your eyes widen at him. “Don’t tell me you’re tired, babe.” He smirks.

“Nope.” You shake your head and grin. “Gimme all you got.”

He flips you onto your stomach, and has you lay flat as he slides in, almost his full weight on top of you. You almost sigh with relief because this was something you had been craving for what felt like ages. Just feeling him full on you, almost crushing you, but in the best possible way. He rocks in and out of you slowly and kisses on your neck and shoulders. It was needy at first, but now things just felt sensual. You feel a little bad he can’t really feel how soaked you are around him.

He slides an arm under your chest to grip one of your breasts, and his other hand snakes just under your pelvis. You gasp when you feel his fingers on your clit. You were overly sensitive now. He was just pressing down, not moving, and applying pressure. His hips move in circles and your mouth falls open. He was really stretching you out now. Your hips move with him, and he starts moaning softly.

“Love feeling you like this.” He says into your ear.

“Me too.” You whimper. Now his fingers rub circles into your clit with same motion as both of your hips, big and slow. “Harry.”

“Shh, I know you’ve got one more in you. This time we’re gonna do it together, how does that sound?”

“Sounds good.” You groan.

Between his breath in your ear, his fingers on your clit, his other fingers tweaking your nipple, and his cock working wonders inside you, you had no idea how you hadn’t melted into a puddle on your bed and evaporated into thin air.

“H-Harry, I-“ You squeeze around him and he bites hard on your shoulder.

This sends you over the edge you cry out loudly. You practically scream his name, which helps him meet his own end. It was so hot, you could feel his come through the condom. He kisses down your back as he pulls out, and you wince.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he gets off your bed. “M’just gonna take care of this in the bathroom.”

“Be my guest.” You breathe. You push yourself up and waddle to the hall bath. Your shit hadn’t be rocked quite like that in a long time, if ever.

When you come back into your room he was grabbing a fresh pair of boxers from his bag and sliding them up his legs. His glasses were back on his face, and he was rummaging for his toothbrush.

“You have toothpaste I can use?” He asks, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

“Mhm.” You nearly squeak. Your voice was hoarse. “Just let me do my thing and then it’s all yours.” You sounded like you had gravel in your throat it made him beam at you.

Harry goes into the bathroom after you, and you throw a large t-shirt on and get into bed. You were nervous, a guy hadn’t stayed over with you in this apartment yet. And you had been living there a year! He comes out and slides into bed with you.

“It’s alright I’m staying?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re as stiff as a board.” He chuckles. “Here I was thinking I loosened you up.”

“Harry.” You breathe. “Please, I’m exhausted.” He laughs at that and leans over to turn your light off. He pulls you to lay on his chest.

“You don’t do this often, do you?”

“No…I get nervous sleeping next to people.”

“Why?”

“Because, like, what if I roll over too much and wake you up, or snore, or talk in my sleep, or what if I…don’t look cute when I wake up.”

“Y/N.” Harry laughs. “You’re talking about things that all people do, it’s okay.”

“I also really like to get wrapped up in my blankets…like a burrito.” You mumble the last part.

“Well, you know I like holding onto something, so why don’t I be your burrito tonight?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let me wrap you up, we’ll get all snug.”

You smile and peck his lips before turning over. He spoons you nice and tight to him, his limbs slung over yours, blankets cozy around the both of you. You sigh happily.

“This is nice.” You whisper.

“I agree.” He whispers back.

“You…have a lot of stamina.”

“Surprised?”

“A little.” You chuckle. “Good surprise though.”

“Did you like everything I did?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Even the stuff at the beginning.”

“I was very surprised by that, but it felt good with everything else you were doing.”

“Good, so you weren’t freaked out?”

“Nope.” You adjust closer to him. “I’m pretty open to trying things. I would have told you if I didn’t like something.”

“Everything just felt right with you.” He nuzzles his face into the back of your head.

“I feel the same way.”

Everything would be different now, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You had never connected physically like that with someone before. You were falling for him, hard, to say the least.

You wake up just as you did the night you went camping with Harry. His body pressed close to yours, and his breath on the back of your neck. You could hear light snores coming from him. The clock on your bed side table reads 9:30. You sigh and adjust against him, hoping to maybe fall back asleep. His arm pulls you closer to him, and you turn onto your back to look up at him. He blinks a few times before looking down at you. He smiles and opens his mouth to speak, and as if on cue, his phone starts buzzing.

“It’s Andy.” There’s a slight sigh. “Do you mind if I take it?”

“No, go ahead.” You giggle. That kid sure had impeccable timing.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dad!”

“Hi, buddy, why you calling so early?” He knuckles at one of his eyes and sits up.

“Says the guy that gets up before sunrise every day.” Andy scoffs. “How was New York, did your presentation go well?”

“It was good, yeah, a lot of people showed up, I was surprised. Got asked some good questions.”

“Did Y/N come?”

“She sure did.” Your jaw drops and you smack Harry’s chest. He chuckles softly.

“So, is she your girlfriend yet, or what?”

Harry’s face loses all color and he clears his throat.

“Uhhh, I don’t know yet, um, could I call you later, Andy?”

“Why, are you busy?”

“A little.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m just tired, we got back late last night, and then…I didn’t fall asleep until later. Not really awake enough for a full conversation.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Call me later, love you.”

“Love you too.” Harry puts his phone down and looks at you. “Sorry, he doesn’t understand how this stuff works…”

“What stuff?”

“Like…dating timeframes. You know how kids are, they think you go out on one date and that makes someone your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Labels really scare you, huh?” You sit up and look at him, covering your upper half with the blanket.

“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.” Your features soften at that.

He was right, it had only been a month, it was probably a little soon to rush into the boyfriend/girlfriend label. You shuffle over to sit in his lap, and you lay your head on his shoulder. He holds you close and rubs your back. You start laughing.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you said that to him.”

“Oh, he didn’t pick up on the innuendo, s’fine.” He kisses the top of your head. “Sleep alright?”

“Mhm, did you?”

“Yeah, like you a lot better than my body pillow.” You both laugh at his dumb joke. “What are you doing today?”

“Hmm.” You look up at him. “Laundry for sure, grocery shopping…I’ve got some reading to catch up on, you?”

“Bout the same. Could we have a shower and some breakfast? Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“That sounds great.” You kiss his cheek. “But no hanky panky in there, I’m throbbing and not in a good way.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks grow red.

“No! It’s okay, I just...you had me all over the place, and your dick is really big. Not complaining at all, it was just a lot all at once.”

“I…may have been a little excited.”

“No skin off my nose, I’d rather have it like that anyways.” You kiss his nose and get off of him. You extend your hand out and lead him to the bathroom to start your shower.

“You bitch! You can’t just say he spent the night and not give me details!” Janette says over FaceTime later that evening. “I’ve missed everything!”

“When you get back we can go out for drinks. I don’t think he’d like it very much if I spilled the beans. I’m not sure what we’re telling people…if we’re telling people.”

“It’s been about a month, right? You could tell people you’re seeing someone.”

“Other than my brother you’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Please, just tell me this…did you go to sleep happy?”

“Very.” You smirk and she squeals.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too.”

A few days pass, and you end up going to Boston for your birthday. You and Harry have spoken, of course, but you haven’t been able to see each other. He was really bummed because he wanted to take you out to dinner.

“Can I take you out for a night on the town when you get back?”

“I’d like that.”

Harry was one of the sweetest guys you had ever dated, and you felt really lucky. Your parents and brother and Julian were all taking you out for dinner at one of your favorite Chinese food places in the city.

“How was New York, honey?” Your mom asks.

“It was great! I learned a lot. I’m really glad I went, there were so many good sessions.”

“And you went with one of your colleagues?” Your dad asks.

“Mhm.” You say, sipping your drink. You and Phil make eyes at each other and you swallow hard. “We’re…well, we’re sort of seeing each other.”

“Oh?” Your mom gasps and then she smiles. “Where the hell is he then? You didn’t invite him o your birthday dinner?”

“Mum…it’s a bit soon for him to meet the family, it’s only been a little over a month since we’ve started going out.”

“How long have you known him?” Your dad asks.

“Almost a year. He’s my office neighbor, so we’ve been friends a while.”

“Well, I’m just tickled pink! It’s been ages since you’ve had a boyfriend.” Your mom beams.

“He’s not my boyfriend, not officially, anyways. We’re just dating, seeing how it goes.”

“What’s the problem? He should want to snatch you up.” Your dad says.

“He needs to be really selective with who he gets serious…he sort of has a kid…” You mumble.

“A kid?!” They both say.

“How old is this man?” Your mom asks.

“Only thirty-two, Phil’s age.”

“How old is the kid? Must be young.” Your dad says.

“He’s eleven, actually…they had him young. I’ve met his mom, she’s really nice. She has a serious boyfriend who has a daughter. Harry’s son’s name is Andy, and he’s very sweet.”

“So, you’ve met him?” Your mom asks.

“Oh, sure. Harry has to bring him to work sometimes. I’ve gone hiking with them too.”

“Yeah, Y/N went camping overnight with them.” Phil says with a grin. “Think that was when he finally had the balls to ask her out. Shared a tent and everything.”

“I’m never telling you anything ever again.” You groan.

“I think next time we come up for a visit we should meet this man. I mean, you really want to get involved with someone with a kid in middle school? What if things get really serious, and then you find out he doesn’t wanna deal with having a baby again? I know it’s your choice, but you’ve always said you wanted a baby, I don’t want you wasting your time with someone who won’t give that to you.” Your mom says.

“Wow, a lecture on my birthday, what a gift.”

“We just want to make-“ Your dad starts but you cut him off.

“Look, I get I’m the baby of this family, but I’m not stupid, I know what I’m doing. It’s taken me a year to open my eyes and heart up to him, and I can’t believe the time I already wasted not being with him. He’s…he’s amazing, and kind, and exactly what I want in a guy. If things get more serious then I’m sure the topic of babies will come up, and we’ll talk about it then. I’ll let you meet him when I think it’s time, not when you do.” You huff. “Now, can we please enjoy this lo mein? It’s delicious.”

Phil invites you to spend the night at his place after dinner, which you’re thankful for. You didn’t want to be lectured anymore. Just as you’re crawling into bed you get a FaceTime request from Harry.

“Hey!” You say a little too excitedly.

“Hey, birthday girl. Have I said happy birthday enough times to you today? How about one more: happy birthday, Y/N.” You bite your bottom lip as you smile.

“Thank you, Harry. You’re so sweet.”

“I can’t wait to see you, I think you’ll like what I have planned.”

“I can’t wait too.”

“Andy made you a card, I saw him today and he gave it to me to give to you.”

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’ll be home with you pretty soon, huh?”

“Yeah, couple more weeks.”

“Listen, um…I sort of told my parents about us tonight…I hope that’s alright.”

“You did?” He perks up.

“Yeah, they wanna meet you soon, is that weird?”

“I don’t know, is it weird that my mum and sister are dying to video chat with you?”

“You told them about me?” You swoon.

“Course I did…a little while ago, when I was still keeping how I felt to myself…think it was after Andy’s birthday party.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“You’re so cute, Harry.” You smile. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Noah asked me to lunch…for some reason. Should be interesting. What about you?”

“Phil’s cooking for me all day to try out some new recipes.”

“Lucky duck.” You giggle at that.

“I’m tired so I’m gonna go to sleep, but I’m really happy you called. It’s nice to see your face.”

“It’s nice to see yours too. See you in a couple days.”

“Goodnight.”

Harry met Noah at a casual seafood place for lunch. They sat outside, and both ordered a beer with their lunches.

“So…not that I don’t like hanging out, but usually we do it with the kids around. What’s this all about?”

“Getting right to it, huh?” Noah chuckles. “Well…I guess, how do you feel about me, H?”

“How do I feel about you?” Harry laughs. “Well, if I were a prick I’d say you annoy me because you’re the guy fucking the mother of my kid, but I’m not so I won’t say that.” He smirks as Noah’s face falls. “Jesus, relax, mate, I’m teasing. I like you, obviously. You’re good to Andy, and to Paige.”

“You scared me for a second there.” He clears his throat. “We all have a nice thing going, this blended family thing.”

“Yeah, I’d say it’s all working out as well as it can.”

“Paige and I have been together for three years now, and we live together, and Rachel loves her to pieces, Andy too.” Harry hums his response and takes a sip of his beer. “We’ve chatted a bit, I know what she wants, so…I’m planning to propose next week.” Harry nearly chokes on his drink just as the waitress comes over with his food. “Sorry…”

“No, uh, no, uh, you just caught me by surprise.” He clears his throat. “Why are you telling me this? You want my blessing or something?”

“Sort of…look, after my wife, well…” He tears up slightly. “I never thought I’d fall in love again, and I love Paige so much. She’s been a great mother figure to Rach, not that I would let her forget her actual mother. If I’m going to be Andy’s step-dad, I wanna make sure his actual dad is okay with it.”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay with it.” Suddenly the food he was starving for made him feel sick. “Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course!”

“Have you talked with her father?”

“God no.” He scoffs. “Would rather ask for forgiveness instead of permission with him. Besides, I think your blessing would mean more to her than his. I know how much she cares about you still, H.”

“Right.”

Harry does his best to make it through his lunch, but he gets most of it wrapped up, assuring Noah he just wasn’t that hungry. When he gets home, and puts his food in the fridge, he grips the counter and starts crying. He wasn’t sure what suddenly came over him, but there he was, alone in his kitchen, sobbing. It wasn’t that he wanted to be with Paige in that way, it just felt like a kick to the gut. He knew she would say yes to Noah, but she had said no to him. She didn’t love him enough to stay. She loved Noah more than him. Harry had you now, sure, but what if you’d never love him, or if you did, would you love him enough to stick it out?

You were very excited for your night out with Harry. You weren’t sure where he was taking you for dinner, but you wanted to look nice, so you go with a black dress that flows around your thighs. Your hair is down and wavy, and your make up is just on point tonight.

Harry: I’m here

You’re a little surprised that he didn’t ring your buzzer like he’s been doing, but you shrug it off. You’re even more surprised that he’s sitting in his car. Since you started dating he’s been waiting for you outside. You open the car door and get in.

“Hi.” You say brightly and kiss his cheek.

“Hey.” He gives you a soft smile.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“No reason…”

He pulls onto the street and heads towards the local movie theater that wasn’t really used for normal movies. It was a place for live bands, dinner and a show, sometimes they’d show old black and white films and someone would come to play the piano live, that sort of thing.

“We’re going to the Flying Elephant?” You ask excitedly.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun to eat and listen to some music.” He mutters.

He was off, you could tell he was trying to seem happy and excited, but something was definitely wrong. What could have happened in the last twenty-four hours? Your eyes widen you remember he had lunch with Noah yesterday, did they get into an argument?

Harry parks the car, and this time he opens the door for you like he usually would. He gives you a peck on the lips and smiles.

“You look really nice.” He says.

“Thank you.” You smile.

He leads you inside and one of the workers scans the tickets he got for the show. You follow him up to the small balcony where your table was. You had never been to an event at the Flying Elephant, but you had mentioned a couple of times that you would like to, so you thought this was very thoughtful.

“What kind of music is it tonight?”

“Jazz I think, but, like, the fun kind, big band style.”

“Oh, fun!”

A waiter comes over with your favorite bottle of white, two glasses, and a basket of bread. He says he’ll be back soon to take your order. Harry had clearly planned a lot of this out, so what was his problem?

“Got your favorite.” He smiles as you clink your glasses. “Happy birthday.”

“I see that, thank you, Harry.” You each take a sip, and then look at the menu. “Oh! They have a tofu marsala, that sounds nice.”

“I’ve had that here before, it’s really good.”

The waiter comes back and you both end up ordering the same thing. You take another sip of your wine and look around at the other people filling in. Harry’s quiet more than usual, so you decide to speak up.

“How was your lunch with Noah yesterday?”

“Huh? Oh…um, it was good.” He shrugs. “Nothing really to report.”

“So, did he just wanna hang out or something?”

“Yeah.”

“Harry…” You reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Are you sure everything’s okay? We didn’t need to come tonight if something’s going on…”

“No! No, everything’s fine…I’m just in a funk I guess, I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with you, but I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Alright.” You sigh.

“I’m glad we’re here tonight, together.”

“Are you nervous about classes starting soon?”

“No.” He chuckles. “That’s, like, the least of my worries right now. Really, it’s fine, I’m just in my head about something stupid.”

“Well…if you feel like talking about it I’m here for you.” You smile softly.

“Thanks.” He gives you’re a hand a squeeze.

Luckily when your food comes out the music starts, and the tension breaks a bit. The band sounded incredible, and you both were having a wonderful time. A couple of the performers told jokes between sets, which had everyone in the audience hollering. Harry had the waiter bring a cupcake over to your table with a little candle in it for dessert. Birthdays weren’t really a bid deal to you, but it meant so much that he put so much effort in. You blow your candle out and split the cupcake with him.

“That was so much fun, thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you had a good time, babe.” He puts his hand on your thigh as he drives you back home.

You relax a little at the pet name. You desperately wanted to know what was bothering him, but you didn’t want to push him since he said he didn’t want to talk about it. He pulls up to your building and turns the car off with a sigh.

“If you don’t feel like coming up you don’t have to…”

“No, I want to. I wanna spend time with you.” He smiles and gets out of the car, and opens your door for you.

“Can I get you anything?” You ask as you get into your place.

“Just a glass of water would be great.” He says, sitting down on the couch. You fill a glass for the both of you and him his when you come to sit with him. “Thanks.” He says as he takes a sip.

“The band sounded great, I’d like to do that again sometime.”

“Definitely. They show film festivals there sometimes too. I usually give my classes extra credit if they go.”

“Fun! I love a good film festival, what do they show?”

“All of the shorts nominated for Oscars usually. All of the animated ones too, it’s great. Although, usually they’re all really somber for whatever reason.”

“People probably figure sadness will get them the nom.” You roll your eyes. “I think it takes more skill to make someone laugh, but that’s just me.”

“A lot of the comedies I’ve seen have had some of the darkest or saddest moments.”

“That’s what I’m saying! Comedies can be really gut-wrenching.” You sip your water and set it down on the coffee table. He does the same, but twiddles his thumbs.

“Har, you’re killing me.”

“Why?”

“Because something’s wrong and you’re making me nervous.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you…”

“I know, but you’re here with me now, and you’re not all the way here. Just talk to me, please?”

“I…it’s stupid.”

“It’s not if it’s making you feel bad.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“At lunch yesterday Noah told me that he’s going to propose to Paige. He invited me out to get basically get my blessing or some shit.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Apparently they’ve spoken about it, so she’s going to say yes, which is good, they make a great couple.”

“So…what’s the problem?”

He looks at you, eyes glossy.

“I don’t know.” He whispers and shakes his head.

“Are you…sad that things are going to be so official between them?”

“Maybe…I mean, I don’t want her in that way, you have to know that, Y/N. I’m not sad because I’m in love with her or anything, those feelings have long since left, but…it just sucks, like, it’s just a reminder that I wasn’t worth sticking it out for or something. It brings back to such a shitty time in my life, you know?”

“Oh, Harry.” You rub at his back. “I’m so sorry…”

“it didn’t work for a reason, we were both really young, and she…she told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore, for whatever reason, I mean Andy was a total accident, I don’t know if she and I would have lasted with or without him. It’s not like we were a perfect match. I think we were always better as friends, but I was stubborn about it. When we hooked up those few times after things ended, that was me going to her, not her coming to me. I was so lost, you know? Look at me, it’s been over ten years, and it feel likes it happened yesterday all over again.” He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I get it, this is a big change that’s going to happen.” You chew your bottom lip. “I had a high school sweetheart, the kind that I thought I was going to be with forever and marry and have kids with. But when it came time for us to go to college we ended it to give ourselves some freedom. Well, about a month into school I go on Facebook and see he’s in a relationship with this girl that he had started talking to over the summer while we were still together. It crushed me. Now he’s married to her or whatever. It sucks when you thought you were someone’s number one, and it turns out you weren’t…but I also believe that things happen for a reason. I wasn’t meant to be with him, and maybe you weren’t meant to be with Paige. I think we all go through things on journeys that lead us to the person we’re supposed to be with.” He looks at you and blinks. “Sorry, I hate when I’m feeling like shit and someone tries to use their own story to relate because we all know that doesn’t do anyone any good, and I know I could never really know the feelings involved with having a kid with someone, but-“

He cups your cheeks and brings you close to him. He slots his mouth over yours and your eyes flutter closed. He gently sucks on your bottom lip and you groan into him. He lets go of you and smooths some hair away from your face.

“Thank you.” He smiles. “What you said did make me feel better.”

“Your feelings are valid, Harry, don’t discount them. I know it’s sort of awkward to talk to me about, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re going this alone.”

“The more I talk about it, I just feel silly. I’m happy for them, truthfully. He just sort of sprung it on me, but it all makes sense now looking back on it, like, why he’d wanna meet up alone.”

“Pretty respectful of him, not everyone would check in with the ex.”

“I know, it was really kind of him to consider my feelings. I’m sorry it put me in such a funk, I hope I didn’t ruin our evening.”

“You didn’t, it was really nice. Clearly you put a lot of effort in.” You cup his cheek and rub your thumb over his cheekbone. You peck at his lip and smile. “I think I’m too full to do anything, but if you wanna stay and cuddle…”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “Sure you don’t mind?”

“No, I want you here. We can get cozy, watch a little TV, and pass out.”

“That sounds amazing.”

A couple of days later.

Andy stood there inside with Rachel watching through the glass door as Noah got down on one knee and proposed to Paige. He grimaced as he heard her squeal and nod her head yes as he slipped the ring on her finger.

“Can you believe it?! Now we’ll really be brother and sister.” Rachel beams at Andy before running outside to congratulate the two.

Paige looks around and frowns when she sees Andy walk away from the glass and further into the house.

“I’m gonna go talk to him, one second.” She says to Noah and Rachel. She goes upstairs and taps on his door before entering. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He was sitting on his bed hugging a pillow to his chest. Harry used to do the same thing. She sighs at the sight, and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re not happy for me?”

“I just don’t understand how all of this works.”

“How what works, honey?”

“Being in love. You didn’t wanna marry Dad, but you wanna marry Noah? What’s wrong with Dad?”

“Oh, Andy, nothing’s wrong with Dad. I love Dad, but…we were so young when we had you and-“

“You say that like you were sixteen, you were twenty-two mom, almost twenty-three, it’s not that young.”

“When you get to be that age maybe you’ll see that it is actually a really young age to have a baby.”

“Whatever.”

“Andy.” She sighs. “I don’t really know how to explain it, I just didn’t see a future with your Dad. I didn’t wanna be the wife of a college professor. At the time, Dad put his studies over everything and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I became resentful, and I fell out of love with him. I wanted something else. Noah and I have a much better connection. Dad and I are good friends, which is great and helpful when it comes to you, but I haven’t seen him as anything more in a long time. Did you think we were going to get together?”

“No, I knew you and Noah would end up getting married, I just didn’t think so soon.”

“It’s a big change, I know…but really not a lot is going to change. He’s just gonna be my husband instead of my boyfriend.”

“He’s gonna be my step-dad.”

“Sure, but you can still just call him Noah. He doesn’t expect you to call him Dad or anything.”

“Good, because Dad is who I call Dad.” He huffs. “Rachel refers to you as Mum sometimes.”

“Does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother you?!”

“No…I told she could call me whatever she wants. I don’t mind it. I mean…I am sort like a mom to her. Is this why you like living with Dad more? You think we’re becoming a family without you?”

“No.” He mumbles. “I like being in school with Brandon…and Dad…like, Dad knows how to do my hair the way I like, and he takes me on fun trips, and he helps me with my homework.”

“I help you with your homework.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a teacher. He knows how to explain things to me better than you, and as much as I’ve liked swimming all the time, it’s boring just going to the lake every day. I’ve barely been hiking this summer.”

“You could have told me, I would have had Dad come get you for a weekend.”

“Yeah, just for a weekend. I hate going back and forth, Mum, I hate it so much. I just wanna live in one place.”

“Well, I’m sorry, that’s just not an option. I’d miss you too much. I missed you so much last year only seeing you on weekends.”

“Yeah? How do you think Dad felt before I got to live with him?”

“Andy, don’t speak to me like that. I’m trying to-“

“Well, stop. Just stop trying.” Tears well up in his eyes. “I wanna go home now, I don’t wanna stay here for another two weeks, I wanna go home now.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Honey…I don’t know if Dad can-“

“Then call him.” He wipes tears from his eyes. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.” He looks away from Paige and it breaks her heart.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Should just give in and let him do his thing, or should she just give him what he wants. She didn’t want him to resent her, or make him think he was held hostage here.

“Okay, I’ll call your father.”

She stands up and leaves the room. She goes downstairs where Noah and Rachel are.

“Where’s Andy? I thought we could all go get ice cream to celebrate.”

“Andy wants to go home, I need to call Harry.” She grabs her phone off the counter and goes down the hall to the office.

You and Harry were out for a walk by the river to watch the sunset. It was really romantic. You had stopped to kiss each other when he felt the buzzing in his pocket. He sighs and rests his forehead against yours as he fishes his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s Paige, do you mind, babe?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” He swipes to take the call. “Hello?”

“Hi.” She sniffles.

“Hi…um, are you alright?”

“No.” She swallows. “Andy wants to go home, to your home. He doesn’t want to wait two more weeks.”

“What happened? Is he alright?”

“He…he’s not happy with me. Um, Noah proposed…and I said yes.”

“Congratulations.” He says it sincerely, but he rolls his eyes.

“Thanks.” She sighs. “Andy and Rachel saw from inside the house, and he went right up to his room, and then he started saying all these things, and then he started crying and now I’m crying, and I…I don’t know what to do Harry, he hates me!”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“It’s like he doesn’t want me to be his mom anymore. He doesn’t want me.”

“He wants you, he just…might not want everything else.”

“That’s not fair. I deserve to be happy too. Ugh, you should have heard him. ‘Dad’s better at helping with homework. Dad takes me on fun trips’. I felt like a piece of shit.”

“You do plenty of fun things with him. He’s just…it’s a lot that’s changing.”

“Not really. The living situation is staying the same, I’ll just have a husband instead of a boyfriend. God, I wonder if he’s scared I’ll want another baby…”

“I mean…do you?”

“No! One was plenty, I’m too old.”

“You’re only thirty-four.”

“The store’s closed.”

“Okay, Paige.” Harry rolls his eyes again. You find a bench to sit down at to give him a little more privacy. “What do you want me to do, do you want me to come get him?”

“I guess so, I’m not gonna make him stay here if he doesn’t wanna be here, but I can’t not see him, Harry. We have to keep the weekend arrangements.”

“And we will. Maybe once he’s with me for a bit he’ll calm down. He’s a preteen now, maybe his hormones are starting to act up.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at you. “I can be there in like forty minutes, tell him to get his shit together. He’s gonna get a stern talking to, I can tell you that much.”

“Don’t angry with him.” She sniffles again.

“I can’t have him making you cry.”

“But he was crying, and-“

“You just got engaged, he could have acted better. He’s too old to be acting like that. I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He sighs and comes over to you.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go pick up Andy, do you mind if we go?”

“Of course!”

You and Harry jump into his car and make your way to Paige’s house. When he pulls up he leaves the car running.

“Do you mind just waiting here a moment?”

“Not at all.” You smile and he nods.

He goes up to the front door and rings the bell. The door flies open and Andy practically flings himself onto Harry.

“Start putting your things in the trunk, I need to speak with your mother.”

“About what?”

“Andy.”

“Great, so you’re mad at me to?!”

“No one’s mad at you.” Paige says as she comes into view.

“Go put your things in the trunk, and then come back into the house the three of us are gonna have a chat.”

“Here, I’ll-“

“Let him do it, he wants to come home so bad, he can load his shit up.” Harry huffs and goes inside.

Andy was stunned, but he does as his dad says. When he opens the trunk he grins.

“Hi, Y/N!”

You turn around and give him a smile. A smile that says it’s good to see him, but he better not lollygag. Once Andy gets all of his things in the car, he goes inside and down to the office where Harry and Paige were waiting for him. Harry was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, and Paige was sitting on the couch.

“I’m very disappointed in you.” Harry starts. “Your mum just got engaged, and you couldn’t even say congrats?”

“Right, because you look thrilled.” Andy scoffs. Harry and Paige look at each other and then back to Andy.

“You better check your attitude, or you’re gonna wish you were staying here. You can’t run from your problems, Andy. I’m glad you’re coming home, but it doesn’t change anything. Mum’s still marrying Noah. He’s gonna be your step-dad, and Rachel’s gonna be your step-sister. That’s just the way of it.”

“Noah loves you, Andy, and so does Rachel. I don’t understand, I mean, it’s been three years…”

“He’s not my dad, and she’s not my sister.” He huffs, crossing his own arms. “I don’t love them.” He could feel tears forming in his eyes again.

“I think…” Harry starts. “Maybe it’s time you start seeing Dr. Gardner again.”

“No!”

“Andy, you clearly have things going on that you can’t articulate to us, maybe talking to someone else could help.”

“I agree with Dad.” Paige speaks up.

“Of course you do, you’re always quick to pass me off so I don’t have to disturb your perfect life!”

“You said you wanted to go to Dad’s!” She stands up. “What did you want me to do, say no?”

“I don’t know! Even when I said I wanted to live with him you just let it happen!”

“Because you put up a fight when I even thought about saying no!”

“Whatever, I like living with him better anyways. I had the best year at school I’ve had in a long time, I have way better friends, and I can actually have a conversation with him.” He hands ball into fists. “I…I…I ha-“

“Don’t, Andy.” Harry interjects. “If you say that, there’s no taking it back.”

“God, fuck this!” Andy storms out of the room. Noah had taken Rachel for ice cream, so luckily they weren’t witnessing any of this.

“Andy!” Paige and Harry say at the same time.

“Hey!” Harry grabs Andy’s arms. He tries to yank it free, but Harry’s much stronger. “We don’t speak like that, do you understand me?”

“Stop talking to me like I’m a baby!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

“Harry.” Paige says. “Stop yelling at him. It’s not going to solve anything. Andy, you can’t speak like that to us, it’s not right. Dad and I have been breaking our backs trying to do everything we can to make you happy. We haven’t asked for much in return. I really want to marry Noah, but I won’t if it makes you that upset.”

“What?” Andy’s features soften and Harry lets go of him.

“I won’t marry him if it upsets you that much.”

“Paige…” Harry says.

“But…then you’d be unhappy, Mum.” Andy says. “I don’t want that.”

“We should have talked more about what it would mean if he and I got engaged and all that, I’m sorry I didn’t include you in those conversations.”

“I’m just confused about a lot right now…” Andy looks away. “I’m sorry for how I acted…it’s great that he wants to marry you.” He looks at Harry. “Can I still come home with you?”

“Yes.” Harry sighs. “Go get in the car, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Andy gives his mother a hug quickly, which surprises her, and then out the door he goes. Harry and Paige look at each other.

“What else do you think is going on with him?” Harry asks.

“I have no idea. I wish I did. I try to talk with him, get him to open up, but he’s very selective.”

“I’ll see if I can have a more relaxed chat with him. He’s only going into sixth grade, he shouldn’t be this moody.”

“Let me know when he wants to come back next…”

“I will. I’m sorry he spoiled everything.”

“He didn’t, they’re bringing me back a big old sundae, and I’m gonna stuff my face.” She smiles. “Look.” She holds the ring up. “Got my style just right.”

“It’s beautiful.” He smiles. “You know, Noah had a chat with me about all this, wanted my blessing and everything.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows raise. “Well, thank you for telling him it was okay.” She says facetiously. “Do you know if he spoke to my father?”

“He did not.”

“Good.” They both laugh. “Thank you…I don’t know how I’d handle him without you sometimes.”

“What are co-parents for?” He hugs her. “I’ll call you in a couple days, yeah?”

“Sounds good.”

Harry comes out to the car where you and Andy were sitting in an awkward silence.

“Sorry bout that.” Harry says as he buckles up.

“No worries.” You smile.

“Do you mind if I drop you at your place, need to have some alone time with that one.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Harry looks in the backseat, and sees Andy with his chin resting in his palm. He sighs and faces forward again. He pulls onto the street, and makes his way home. Harry drops you off, and walks you to your door.

“I’m sorry about all this.”

“Hey, it comes with the territory.” You shrug. “Shit happens.”

“I’ll have less time to spend with you sooner than I thought…”

“Harry, don’t worry about me. Once school starts we’ll see each other every day. We’ll make time for date nights later, go take care of things with him. Seems like he really needs you right now.”

Harry kisses your cheek and gets back in the car. It’s silent until they get home. This time he helps Andy with his things. Once it’s all settled, they both sit in his room to chat. They each sit crisscross, holding pillows to their chests.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Harry says softly. “I know there’s gotta be more to all this.”

“There is.” He sighs. “It’s just…I feel like everyone around me is finding their true love.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mom has Noah, you have Y/N now, and…Brandon, ugh, Brandon started dating this girl Molly…she’s in our class, and they go to the same camp, and he told me they, like, kissed, and…now I feel like he’s never gonna make time for me anymore. I always thought relationships were for adults…I didn’t know he liked girls…I don’t like girls like that…not yet anyways.”

“Oh, Andy…it’s okay that you don’t like anyone yet, and this Molly girl isn’t Brandon’s true love. Odds are they won’t last long. You’re only eleven.”

“When he called me to tell me he was so excited he had his first kiss…and I felt…sick.”

“Sick?”

“Yeah, like, my stomach felt weird like I was going to throw up, and my chest started to hurt. I thought it was my asthma, so I took my inhaler, but it didn’t help.” Harry’s eyes grow wide. Andy was describing heartbreak.

“What did you say to him when he told you?”

“I told him that it was cool or whatever…but that was a lie.”

“It made you feel achy, huh?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really know why…”

“That’s okay, you don’t need to have it all figured out right now.”

“But what if when I see him next he wants to talk about her, or he wants to invite her everywhere?”

“You just need to tell him that you’re not comfortable with it, and that you’d prefer the one on one time. If he’s really your friend he’ll understand.”

“I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.” He starts sniffling. “I hate that I’ve been so mean to mum, I feel like I’ve been taking things out on her, and I know I hurt her today.” He starts crying, and Harry pulls him into his chest.

“Come here.” Harry lays him down with him, letting Andy cry into him and so he could cuddle him easier. Arms wrapped around him tight. “When you feel up to it you can call her to apologize.”

“She must hate me.” He hiccups.

“She doesn’t, I promise.”

“I don’t want her to know about why I’ve been upset.”

“Okay, it can stay between us.” Harry rubs Andy’s back with one hand and scratches his scalp with the other. “When does Brandon get back from camp?”

“In a few days.”

“Is that why you wanted to come back here? So you could see each other?”

“And because I missed you.” He snuggles further into Harry, and it nearly breaks his heart. He couldn’t remember the last time his son let him hold him like this.

“I missed you too.”

“Are things with Y/N going well? I feel bad, I know I messed up your date.”

“Things are good, and it’s okay. We were just out for a walk by the river, nothing special.”

“Is she your girlfriend yet?” Andy yawns. Poor kid’s had a long day.

“Not exactly, but soon I think.”

Harry lays with Andy until he’s in a deep sleep. He goes to his own room and texts Paige that Andy will call her tomorrow to talk some things through. Just as he’s about to put his phone down your name pops up.

You: I know it’s none of my business, but I hope Andy’s alright…is he?

Harry: thanks for checking in, he’s doing fine. We had a good talk, he even let me lay with him a bit. Poor kid felt bad about cutting our date short

You: you’ve raised such a sweet boy, honestly

Harry: maybe you could join us for dinner here some night, I think he’d like that

You: I’d love to, just name the night and I’m there

Harry sighs happily. Other women he’s dated in the past always thought it was cute he had a kid at first, but none of them ever understood that Andy came first. You were so cool about it, and he adored you even more for checking in.

Harry: hey…I like you a lot

You: hey…I like you a lot too

#harry styles #harry styles series #office neighbors #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut

885 notes · View notes

ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

Text

temptations

request from nonnie!! “Hi! I loveeee your writing, you’re absolutely amazing! I had a dream recently that i was hoping I could request?? A Georgexreader where they’re dating and the readers love language is touch & affection. Then one day she overhears George saying how irresistible she must find him or something obnoxious like that? So for revenge she completely stops touching him and showing any affection. Maybe a frustrated George in result??? Or something similar? :) Thank you!!”

pairing: george x gryffindor!reader

word count: 3.4k

A/N: this was such an adorable request and one i very much enjoyed writing; i don’t believe i've ever had a request like this one so i was very excited to write it! i didn’t mean for it to be so ~thirsty~ but shoutout to my discord babes -- the thirstiest chat of all has resulted in this story, so thank you! hope you guys enjoy, please leave feedback and reblog if you so please x

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @parker-potters | message me to be added, loves

Being George Weasley’s girlfriend came with loads of things you couldn’t seem to get enough of -- endless laughter, playful teasing, witty banter, consistent hugging. Snogging. Cuddling. Mostly in private, of course, so as not to annoy those around you with your PDA. But there were always small, shared kisses in the corridors, tight embraces after Quidditch matches. Your fingers would interlock with his during feasts, or you’d place your head on his shoulder in the common room. But you tried to save most of this for just the two of you. So the second you were alone, it was pretty difficult to keep your hands off of one another.

Fred was always calling you an “old, married couple”.

But you wondered now, as George slipped his hands under your shirt, spread his hands out against your ribcage, and moaned against your mouth, if old married couples acted like this.

“Love?”

“Mhmm?” you mumbled, barely breaking from him, not even giving him a chance to speak. You locked your arms around his neck and tightened your embrace. He just laughed against you and ran his hands delicately against your skin. It was almost immediate that goosebumps had appeared.

It wasn’t always like this, though. Not in the beginning, at least. You hardly let yourself even hold his hand, worried that you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You were embarrassed by just how much you craved his touch -- whether it was just his fingers intertwined with yours, or something a little more -- the intensity of your feelings terrified you. You found yourself jolting awake in the middle of the night and swinging your arms to the other side of your bed, only to be disappointed when you realized, in your groggy state, that he was across the common room and not in the bed next to you, with his limbs entangled with yours.

You restricted yourself from feeling too much. What would he say? You didn’t want to scare him. You didn’t want to come off as one of those people, give yourself a bad rep before even really having been able to create one. You also, if you were being honest, found yourself to be a bit worried that if you immediately handed yourself over to him, George would take it, and leave.

But even all this time later, George had proven himself to be a gentleman, and you scolded yourself for ever thinking he could’ve been anything different than exactly that.

He pulled away from you now, squeezing your hips and checking his watch. “We’re going to be late,” he said flatly.

You frowned. “You’re absolutely sure we’ve got to meet Lee in Hogsmeade? Now?”

He laughed at you and began to button the top of his shirt. “Unfortunately, and I mean that truly, darling -- yes, I’m sure we’ve got to meet Lee in Hogsmeade, considering I’ve canceled on him the last three times.”

You groaned. You and George hadn’t really had a ton of alone time the last few weeks, as your studying had increased and your homework piles began to resemble that of mountains -- plus, with excitement of their shop soon opening up, George was busy with Fred, putting the final touches on every single one of their products. It was sheer luck when you both were able to find even five minutes to spend together.

George noticed the change in your expression as you thought on this; he pressed another gentle kiss to your lips and then one to your temple. “Promise to make it up to you later tonight,”

“I’m holding you to that, you know.”

“And if I disobey?”

The words alone set you aflame, but you resisted the very strong urge to pull him back into you. A comment like that would normally send you into a complete and dizzying overdrive. He knew it, too -- the sensual smirk that appeared ever so slightly on his lips told you exactly what he was thinking.

You swatted him playfully with your hand. “Oh shut up, Weasley.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Ugh,” you groaned again while he fell into a bit of laughter. He was always acting like a git. You supposed it was a good thing that he was so cute. You pushed him away from you and jumped off of your bed in the desolate girls’ dormitory. The tension was still hanging in the air; next to you, fixing his tie as if he were off to a business meeting, George just shrugged gently, playing off the entire exchange. You rolled your eyes, “If you’re going to be a prat, then you at least owe me a drink.”

-- -

“Mate, I’m telling you, I must be irresistible to her or something.”

His voice was relaxed, smooth. You stopped dead in your tracks right outside the empty Transfiguration classroom, where Fred and George were both fiddling with their inventions. You wanted to surprise George right after you finished your lesson -- you were dying to get some alone time with him, especially after having spent your disaster of an afternoon in those dreary dungeons with Professor Snape, who’d scolded you due to your potion, which he’d deemed ‘mediocre at best’. But instead, you stopped where you were, leaned closer to the door, and listened.

“Oh yeah?” You could practically hear the smirk that was, no doubt, growing on Fred’s face. He continued with a laugh, “How so? Y/N yanking you into broom cupboards more often than not?”

By the tone of George’s voice, you could imagine exactly how this exchange must have looked: Fred, eyebrows raised and lips formed in a thin smirk as he waited for more information; George, chest puffed and arms folded across it, his air of confidence engulfing the room entirely. “I’m not that much of a prat. Some things I’ve got to keep to myself, haven’t I?” At least he’s being smart, you thought. You appreciated that he at least wasn’t divulging the very intimate details of your relationship to his brother. “All I’ll say is that she can’t keep her hands off of me.”

Both boys ended up snickering like two young kids. You knew it was harmless; they were two of the most genuine blokes you knew -- they meant nothing of it. It was all innocent. But still, you found yourself feeling a bit embarrassed. Your entire body suddenly felt very hot, and not in the way it felt when you were alone with your boyfriend. Was George really going to be that self-righteous? Well, you’d show him, wouldn’t you?

Instead of turning inside the classroom to greet your best mates like you’d planned, you turned on your heel and headed quickly in the direction of your common room, hellbent on making the next few days of George’s life ones he’d certainly never forget.

-- -

You felt different. Strange. Exposed, even. But you reckoned it was worth it if it taught your silly boyfriend a lesson he desperately needed to learn.

You slid yourself next to him on the bench in the Great Hall, but he didn’t look up from his parchment right away, and you didn’t prompt him too. Instead, he finished scribbling something on a bit of parchment, smirked and said, “There’s my favorite girl. How’s your morning?”

You began to pour yourself a bit of tea and mumbled, “Just fine.”

When he looked up, his eyes immediately widened at the sight of you. It was rude of you to do what you were doing, you knew that, but he deserved it after what he said. He deserved it after acting like a git.

You didn’t meet his gaze, but you were quite certain he was eyeing you up and down, something you were used to since you began dating him. But this, you dressing this way -- this was blatant. This was done purposefully. So to feel his eyes wash over you in this moment felt sort of fraudulent. He immediately began to snake his fingers around your waist. “Well good morning to you, too.”

You shrugged him off and giggled slightly. You knew it would work. You knew it as soon as you’d looked at yourself in the mirror this morning -- the exposed strap of your bright red, lace bralette, the tight knot you’d tied at the bottom of your shirt to expose a bit of your skin at your hipline, just above the top of your skirt -- it was just enough to keep you from going too over-the-top and getting into any type of trouble, but enough to get his attention. Enough to make him sweat.

“George, we’re in public!”

“You’re the one who dressed like you want me to rip it all off of you right now.”

“Our professors are literally sat at the other end of the hall. You do know this, yes?”

After you’d wriggled free of his grasp, he figured he’d try something different -- he leant in, pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, and tried to press his lips to your neck, but stopped just before he did so.

“Bloody hell, woman, are you joking? What are you wearing?”

You shrugged casually, as if it didn’t really matter. “Angelina and Katie bought me this perfume for my birthday. Haven’t ever really worn it before. You like it?”

He scoffed a bit, and you knew you had him wrapped around your finger. It was clearly evident in the way he breathed so heavily into your ear. “Like it? Yeah, darling, you could say that,”

Of course he did. He was mad for it. You had worn it once before, actually, on your fourth date. Things had seemed to escalate a bit quickly that evening. You’d then pocketed this perfume for moments when you’d really need it. Today seemed as good a day as any.

“Anyway,” you breathed, grabbing a piece of toast to-go, “have got to run. Want to get there early for my Dark Arts lesson. Meet up with you later?”

You stood up from your spot and swung your bag across your shoulder; George grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you closer to him. “Mmm, think we can sneak away for a bit?”

“You’re sweet,” you replied, bringing a hand to his cheek and stroking his jawline swiftly with your thumb, “but I don’t think so. Have got loads of assignments I’ve to finish tonight -- plus, you and Freddie have to continue working on your products, yeah?”

You turned on your heel and marched out of the hall -- and just as you expected, he was right on your tail. Once you were out in the corridor, George grabbed your hand and twirled you around, a pained expression on his face. Bingo. “What d’you mean ‘I don’t think so’?” He brought his hands to your cheeks and gently caressed your jawline. He teased, “Aren’t getting sick of me, are you?”

Ugh. You were using every ounce of your willpower not to pull him into you; once again, the craving that overtook you felt incredibly intense. You forced yourself to slowly guide yourself away from him. “Sick of you? Of course not, love. I’ve just been thinking -- I’ve been so busy being all over you lately --” you smirked at how rigid his body went at these words, and you continued on sweetly, “--I’ve realized that I really do need to get a handle on some of my assignments, you know? Have got to get my hands off of you at some point, or another.”

You noticed his jaw clench. “Ah -- I see what this is. Heard me and Freddie chatting the other day, did you?” He threw his hands up in surrender, “Alright, I’m a right git, shouldn’t have said it -- I’m sorry, and I love you. Now can I please kiss my girlfriend?”

Just as he leant in, the bell rang out, signaling five minutes until the start of the first lesson. George groaned very audibly, earning himself looks from passersby. He threw his hands into his pockets and leant against the wall, looking grouchy. You giggled to yourself and pulled your cardigan tighter around your shoulders. “You don’t need to apologize.” You inched closer toward him, ran a hand through his bright red hair, and whispered, just barely grazing his lips, “I love you, too.”

And you swept yourself down the corridor and into your Dark Arts classroom without an embrace, without a snog, without anything, and you were most certain (and proud) that you’d left the most cheeky boy in the entire school completely and utterly breathless.

-- -

It had only been six hours since George was knocked off balance at the sight of you -- but without the hand holding, the embraces, the kisses against your skin -- to him, it felt like bloody weeks.

He supposed, as he watched you practice non-verbal spells and earn yourself tons of praise from Professor Flitwick, that he probably shouldn’t have said what he’d said to his brother. He was just teasing, anyway. He knew he didn’t hurt your feelings -- you had thick skin, thicker than him, even. But apparently he’d poked you enough that you now wanted to poke back, and he was paying the price for it.

When he tried on his own to work on some non-verbal spells and failed miserably, Fred began to laugh quite haughtily. “Not feeling frustrated, are we, George?”

George knew what he meant -- not frustrated about spells, of course. But about other things. He hadn’t realized how much he craved your touch, too, until he couldn’t have it. Until you began withholding it just this morning. He wondered how long he could really last. He found himself getting lost in his thoughts, and his mind almost always wandered to his dormitory, you pinned beneath him giggling like mad, him pressing kisses to your neck. The temptation circulating through his veins was strong. He really needed to snap the hell out of it.

Fred, still laughing, groaned in pain after earning himself a nice elbow jab to the ribs from George.

But it wasn’t just the snogging, or being alone with you with his hands wound tightly around your waist. He missed the small things, like being able to hold your hand in the corridors, gently placing his fingers on the small of your back to guide and steady you through the portrait hole, being able to run his hands through your hair when he was sat next to you during lessons. He missed all of that, and it hadn’t even been one bloody day!

You’d said something to him when you’d first started dating, something about love languages. He didn’t really know much about it, but he found himself becoming incredibly intrigued when you’d begun explaining it. You’d been perched against a tree near the Black Lake, practicing simple Charms as you’d studied for your upcoming exams.

“Sorry -- a what?”

“Your love language,” you’d said casually, adjusting yourself in his arms. You’d explained to him that each person’s love language was what they craved most in a relationship. George didn’t really know his, but he’d been excited to find out. You told him yours was touch and affirmation.

“Oh,” he’d laughed, beginning to tickle you near your stomach, “you mean like this?”

You’d both spent the rest of the afternoon on the grounds, discussing things and snuggling closer together. That was the very first time Fred had referred to you both as an old, married couple. George never let on to how very much he enjoyed that. It was then decided, after much conversation, that George’s top love language seemed to be words of affirmation. Or, so he thought.

But now, leaving Charms, as you wiggled your fingers at him and fled down the opposite end of the corridor to your next lesson, he reckoned he was probably wrong.

Maybe his love language was physical touch, too.

-- -

You were struggling to make it through the week, to say the least. Dramatic, yes, but true. You couldn’t believe this bloody plan of yours -- you should’ve just ignored the comment and carried on as usual, because you today’s lessons felt like an entire month’s worth.

Hopefully George would learn his lesson soon, so you could tug him away and snog him for hours again without him making some silly, childish comment.

Apparently, he was feeling the same way, because at the end of the day, you found him poring over a bit of parchment in the common room, looking positively woebegone.

You two hadn’t embraced, kissed, held hands or anything of the like in nearly seven days. To say you were both going mad was a severe understatement.

He pulled at his hair, looking incredibly frustrated. But his facial expression softened when he looked up and saw you -- his eyes lightened and his face flushed pink, and his smile was relatively bright for someone who looked absolutely exhausted.

“Hi,” he said, not getting up from the armchair.

“Hi,” you echoed him, taking a place on the couch across from him.

The whole layout of the scene was rather dramatic.

“How were the rest of your lessons?”

“Just fine. And yours?”

You were both making silly, stupid small talk, but it was obvious to you both (and the world) that all you wanted to do was kiss one another. Which was normal, wasn’t it? And what was more worth it, you thought -- that, or your bloody pride?

“This is killing me, you know.”

You crossed your arms and smirked at him. He flung his parchment onto the table and made his way toward you. He placed himself down next to you -- not close enough to touch, but closer than you’d both been all day. He let his head fall back dramatically onto the couch and grinned at you. “Glad you’re learning your lesson.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t miss it.”

“Dunno,” you said sarcastically, fiddling with the edge of your skirt, “maybe you’re not as irresistible as you think.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes. He inched closer to you, though. “That’s mean.”

“Maybe it’s what you deserve.”

An evil sort of smirk tugged at the edges of your lips, and he playfully went to poke you in your ribcage, but stopped himself. You both laughed a bit, and he took a deep breath, and started. “I was a git.”

“Yeah,” you replied flatly, “but, to make it up to me, you’ve now got to endure massive amounts of teasing in the foreseeable future.”

Slowly, trying to read your expression, he reached out and began running his pointer finger along the arm of your cardigan -- the most touch you two had seen in days. It sent a spark through your entire body. Again, dramatic, but truthful. He let his hand fall next to yours, both of your pinky fingers touching ever so slightly. “You know,” he began, tracing light circles on your hand, “you’re pretty irresistible, too. Even without all of this going on.” You knew what he meant. The bralette strap, the exposed skin, the lipstick you’d been putting on, the perfume you’d been wearing. The withholding of everything he so desired. “I love you just the way you are.”

His voice had never sounded genuine, and you allowed yourself to gently jab him in the stomach, earning yourself laughs from him. “Wow, Georgie, going soft on me? That was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He frowned at you dramatically.

“Told you -- teasing in the foreseeable future. ‘m going to take what I can get, love.”

You guessed that he took your sweet smile as an opening, because he reached out and ran a hand through your hair. “Can I bloody kiss you now?”

A sigh of relief escaped the both of you. “Yes,” you said, leaning in. But before his lips touched yours, you pulled away, bit your bottom lip, and wiggled your eyebrows at him. “Irresistible, huh?”

“Never going to hear the end of that one, am I?”

“Nope.”

You felt revitalized when he pressed his lips to yours; sure, it had only been a week or so, but a week too bloody long. You loved the feeling of his hands wound around the back of your neck, the way your fingers danced delicately on his chest or in his hair. How you two had managed this long was beyond you, but you were glad this was over.

Just then, Fred and a few others hopped through the portrait hole and waved to the two of you. Fred noticed how close together you were, rolled his eyes teasingly, and called, “There’s the old, married couple. Things back to normal now, I reckon?”

George swiped his thumb across your cheek and pulled you into him. But you had other ideas. Cheekily, you winked at your boyfriend and called to your best mate, “Oi, Freddie! You’ll never guess what George just said about me.”

#george weasley #fred weasley #fred and george weasley #weasley twins #george weasley x reader #george weasley reader insert #george weasley imagine #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins fanfic #weasley twins fanfiction #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #hp imagines

698 notes · View notes

elriel-oblivion · 4 years

Text

WHO'S READY FOR SOME HARDCORE NSFW 🔥😈

Ashes from the Deep

Part IV

Just kidding! 😅

Lol, sorrynotsorry for that fake intro haha, but here's part four for real 😅 Thanks to everyone who read/liked/commented on/reblogged the last part, I really do appreciate all your support 😊🥰🥰

Shoutout to @julesherondalex again for finding one of my fave paragraphs ☺️☺️ I think I only have one fave line this time 😅 And thanks to all who comment their own faves!! I really like seeing what you like in each piece - and it def helps me gauge what kinda writing/literary techniques work and engage people the most 😊😊

I hope nobody's disappointed by this part lol, I really enjoyed writing it in tandem with the previous one 😅

Word count: 4.1K. Lemme know if you'd like to be tagged/removed

I've also finally posted all four parts to AO3 if anyone prefers to read there 😊

Ashes from the Deep

Part IV

The water falling from the jug to Azriel’s head was the only sound in the bathroom. His hair absorbed the water, darkening to a midnight gleam. A thin breeze entered the room, and now without a blanket, Elain's exposed arms prickled with goosebumps.

Elain plunged a hand into his hair, breaking the mud between her fingertips. A quiet breath passed through his mouth and the corners of her lips rose.

She rubbed his scalp, coaxing as much dirt to the surface as she could before guiding another jug of water through his hair. Some of the mud drained away, some clods of sediment sticking to the basin. She poured over a final jug and stained water trickled into the drain. The warmth of the water tickled through her skin, replacing the cold from outside.

‘Is that nice?’ she asked, brushing the water through his hair with both hands.

His body seemed to relax, one foot sliding forward a little. ‘It is,’ he said thickly. He cleared his throat.

Her fingers continued to gently work at his head, and when sure his hair was completely wet, she ran the bar of soap under the tap. Soft lavender entered her nose and she inhaled deeply. That calm scent loosened her own muscles; this could be as much a session of serenity for her as she hoped it'd be for Azriel.

So long as she held taut the chain on her heart.

Soap foaming, she immersed her hands back into his thick hair, forming a lather. The lavender smell intensified, a wave of tranquility sweeping over her. She blinked slowly, as though her mind were wading through water.

Another sigh from him drew her attention back to his head. She needed to focus on this task; for Azriel, she could stay awake a little longer, especially since she’d already started.

Her fingertips massaged his skull, pressing a little deeper at the base where knots had a tendency to form. Elain moved her own neck, a sharp stab sparking at the top of her spine.

She hadn’t mentioned it to anybody yet – didn’t even know if she would – but her visions had been so feverish the past fortnight. Sleep felt like a luxury as she tossed and turned with psychedelic madness flashing behind her eyes. A turquoise expanse of sparkling ocean, birds shaped from sunset, glittering gowns in every shade, and a too-wide smile with pointed teeth were just a few of the recurring images attacking her every night.

Bathing before bed wasn't helpful. She'd hoped the calming scents of the herbs she'd found would be enough to pacify her mind and lull her to sleep. So far, there was no positive result beyond a loosening of her muscles. At least some of those herbs relieved the intensity of the dark circles round her eyes.

Mellow darkness, however, was a true reprieve, one which she found in her garden in those quiet evening hours, when the sky, having bled through its saturated sunset, was awash with deep muted blues.

As if she’d summoned it, a similar darkness manifested around Azriel’s body, swirling thickest about his head like a black cloud. His shadows rose like vapour, tendrils reaching out and twining about him.

Elain’s hands were hidden among those dark whorls, and they whispered on her skin in cool caresses. She leaned over his head and said, ‘Azriel?’

His eyes flicked open. ‘Huh?’

There was something boyish and confused in the way he blinked and she laughed lightly. ‘Your shadows are sort of hiding your head.’

He turned his head an inch or two. ‘Sorry,’ he said, and those shadows began sweeping over each other, wisps kissing her as Azriel pulled them in.

Elain’s hands were stationary until those shadows were completely reeled in, a faint frown on Azriel’s face. Sorrow lurked there, perhaps that he couldn’t be cocooned in that safe space.

Guilt coated the chain around her heart.

‘Don’t be,’ she murmured. Did he hear the shame in her voice? She hoped not; he should be resting, not worrying about Elain’s feelings. ‘You can close your eyes again.’

He did, but not before she caught a shadow lingering behind his eyes. Were they a glimpse into the shadows he leashed within himself, or were they a reflection of something darker, more sinister, perhaps?

That guilt began to cut into her heart now, icy claws digging. Cold squeezed her chest, a cold unrelated to the outside breeze breathing over her skin. How could she think Azriel was sinister? After the countless times he’d reached out to comfort her, be with her, listen to her – and the sincere light she saw in his eyes. Even the hope Rhysand had spoken of that day of the last battle in the war. The hope whose meaning he'd learnt from Azriel, learnt to experience from Azriel.

No, it was absurd. Yes, Azriel was a warrior and yes, he’d killed people. Possibly worse, she didn’t know. But those shadows she knew with certainty weren’t formed from the darkness of nightmares and malevolence and all things wicked.

They were a darkness of safety and security, of nights spent in a loved one’s arms. When a child sought their parent; when an adult sought their partner. They were the darkness found deep underground, where the earth was pure and things grew. Where life grew.

And just like his shadows, he too was not crafted from unholiness. There was unrelenting virtue glowing in him, burning whatever taint touched his darkness. She’d seen it in his eyes when he’d found her at the Hybern camp, when he alone had armed her with his own dagger at that later battle – and then run straight into the thick of it without Truth-Teller.

She didn’t know what she would’ve done if he hadn’t survived while she held his blade.

So when his shadows leaked out again, wrapping him in twining vines and wisps, she said nothing. Simply continued to work in that lovely lavender soap, giving as much care as she could. He deserved it.

She poured jug after jug of warm water over his head, wading her fingers through his locks to wash out the soap. Within a minute or two, the water was running clear. She yawned and dried her hands on a fresh towel.

‘Az, you can lift your head now.’

The guilt relented a little, icy claws releasing. A cold still filled the space left behind. But before the warmth of his presence, his existence, could balm her heart as it often did, she froze. His shadows parted to reveal a tear slipping from his eye. Just a single tear but so abrupt it was jarring on the shadowsinger’s face.

‘Azriel?’

He was unresponsive. His breathing was regular, body relaxed in a state of sleep. Except for that tear. What was he dreaming of?

She raised her hand to his face but let it hover in the air. Would this wake him? Would he even be fine knowing Elain had seen him cry?

She touched the tear anyway, placed a knuckle right beneath it. The tear slipped onto her hand and she wiped off the trace left on his face.

Azriel stirred, voice raw as he said, ‘Mother?’

Mother – was she what, who he dreamt of? There was such a childlike insecurity in his tone that Elain’s heart squeezed. She moved her hand back a little when her own voice sounded wispy. ‘No, it’s Elain.’

His eyes opened, gaze darting around the room. There was a small crease in his brow as he blinked away whatever haze remained from his dreams. The shadows dissipated.

Confusion limned his features in the few seconds it took him to fully awaken. Did he know he cried? That she’d wiped off his tear? No, that wouldn’t be okay. Elain had to distract him, if that were even possible for a spymaster.

Sometimes his title overwhelmed her. Sometimes she found security in it; did he see things he didn’t want to on his travels? Did he have access to a wealth of information he didn’t initially understand, just as Elain didn’t comprehend her visions without further probing?

‘I asked you to lift your head but you’d fallen asleep,’ she said. ‘I didn’t want to wake you, but we should dry your hair before you really go to sleep. Especially if you’ll be going outside again. Although I would ask you to consider taking a guest room.’

That frown deepened for a second before he smoothed out his face. ‘Right.’ He sat straight, and Elain set a hand under his head as he stiffly pulled it up. He rotated his neck a bit, water dripping off his sodden hair, sliding down his face.

She placed the towel over his head, patting it across his scalp. Some strands escaped to hang over his forehead, so she pulled them back, ruffling the towel through his hair. All the while, he watched her, but she busied herself with the water that glistened on his neck. Anything to avoid his eyes.

Then he dropped his head – from tiredness or something else, she didn’t know – so she took the opportunity to dry the back more. Drying his hair took more effort than washing, he just had so much hair. The small towel quickly became damp so she continued with the one round his neck, and a short while later, deemed his hair dry enough. Still wet but not sodden, so she combed her fingers through it, smoothing out the tips that stuck out. She left both towels on her bathtub, touching a knuckle to one of the trailing plants sitting on a stool nearby.

She heard the chair scrape across the floor, Azriel rising, so she laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Wait. I want to clean your face, too.’

The idea of having to look at his face for however long it took to clean sent a thrill through her and she woke a little more. The chain on her heart slipped from her control a little and she leashed it back. Her chest tightened as she grabbed a cloth and ran it under the tap. She knelt next to him, honing in on that giant gash on his cheekbone. She touched the cloth to his face.

He winced and her hand stilled. ‘Sorry.’

A small smile graced his face, and he said, ‘Don’t be.’

She recognised the words from earlier and breathed a laugh. ‘That cut does look very bad, though. I think I’ll have to clean it with alcohol too.’

‘Let’s crack open that wine then.’

Something sultry laced his voice, the chain in her chest slipping again. The metal warmed and Elain fiddled with her grip. She let out a shaky laugh. ‘Not tonight, Azriel.’

Goodness. A late night wine session with Azriel. There was heat in her cheeks and she didn’t know how to tone it down. It was even worse with his face so near hers. He’d see it all. Her face warmed further, and it was only the dirt and blood on his that reminded her he was in no position to be drinking the night away. Not with fatigue so clear on his features and in his posture.

And not with Elain. That toed a line she didn't deserve to cross.

So she gave focus only to his skin, wiping the cloth across his face. Once most of the mud and blood was off, she rinsed the cloth, then wiped him down again. He turned his head and as his eyes fixed squarely on her, the chain heated further. She tried to grip it elsewhere, but every link was as hot. It wasn’t uncomfortable – quite pleasant, actually – but she was sure it would be soon enough if she didn’t move now. The cool air sweeping into the bathroom did nothing to help. If he would just stop looking into her –

Elain abruptly stood and on a whim went to close the window. Maybe he'd think she was cold, though she'd regret trapping the air when it was stifling here soon.

She moved to the cupboard by the door, her back to him. She took a deep breath, taking her time to pull out a bottle of alcohol, in pouring a few drops of it onto a clean cloth. The distance between them was refreshing. The chain didn’t cool, not with Azriel still so close in the same room, but at least it didn’t warm any more. Elain took a moment to readjust her grasp and pull it again.

She composed herself and knelt beside him. The alcohol’s scent permeated the air and her own nerves bristled. ‘This’ll hurt.’

His smile was slight. ‘It’s all right.’

She bit the inside of her cheek and touched the cloth to the wound. His jaw clamped like a vice and she lightened her touch, the cloth barely kissing his skin.

This wasn’t the right way. She needed to clean that wound, regardless of what pain it’d inflict. It'd be temporary, the sting. So she pressed the cloth harder, dabbing it across his cheekbone.

His features were stonelike at the contact. Did pain ever become easier to bear? Would the prick of a thorn be less painful in a decade than it was now?

If Azriel’s face was anything to go by, she guessed no. Perhaps some pain couldn’t be learnt; perhaps the body never fully digested pain.

Perhaps she'd never fully recover from the desolation in the Cauldron.

‘Are you all right, Azriel?’ Her voice was so quiet, like she didn’t want to flare the hurt any further.

‘I’m all right. Are you all right, Elain?’

‘I’m fine.’

He wasn’t all right and nor was she, but neither was willing to broach that right now. There was so much to him she didn’t yet know. What was it that shadowed his eyes so often? What darkness clouded his mind before he fell asleep? In due time, she’d learn, but that human impatience, the sense that there was never enough time, threatened to run her tongue.

Time stretched out before her. She’d learn. He was her friend, she just needed to give him time to teach her the workings of his soul. And in return, she would bare hers too.

Neither said a word as she pressed the alcohol into every wound, cleaning his cheekbone and temple, a scratch across his jaw. She stared at the graze there for a few seconds. She’d ask Madja for some calendula oil later; that would speed the healing process.

She sighed as she washed the cloth. Something had loosened the chain, but it wasn’t a sudden unravelling. It’d just been gradual and she hadn’t noticed, one link falling back at a time. Her heart expanded. There was torment in Azriel’s posture, on his face, and it hurt. It hurt that Elain couldn’t do anything for him besides give basic medicines for his body.

But he was more than just a physical form. He had a heart and a soul, both so tight with whatever misery lurked in his past, and she couldn’t do anything about that. For all the light she saw in the world, all the places of brightness, there was ten times as much darkness, ten times as many nooks and crannies where gloom and wretchedness dwelt. What good was the light if it didn’t burn away the shade over everyone’s souls?

She spent more time washing the cloth than necessary.

The chair creaked. ‘You can talk to me, Elain, whenever you need.’

The chain slipped again, Elain’s fingers grappling for those final links. It hurt so much that he was willing to give so much. Her smile was too bright as she turned and said, ‘I know.’

He stood. His gaze was so direct on her that she only held one chainlink now. Just one link remained in her hand, one link between her and the release of a beast she hadn't yet had the courage to face.

The link heated. Her muscles loosened and her hands fumbled with the tap, the cloth falling from limp fingers.

He would realise. He would know what she was thinking and feeling if she didn’t get a grip on herself, on that final chainlink. So she turned her body to face his and cleared her throat. ‘We should go downstairs to the fireplace. It’ll be warmer there.’ For his damp hair, of course.

No matter that whatever cool air remained in the room did nothing to tame her heat.

His hand was cold on her wrist, a shiver tracking her bones, and colder still were the shadows that swept them up and into the living room. Good, there was much more space here. Her feet hit the floor and she bent to place three logs in the hearth.

Moonlight glinted on the steel she struck against the flint but the metal didn’t spark the way she’d seen it do when everybody else lit a fire. She tried again, Azriel silent beside her. This was pitiful. She swiped the steel a couple more times, and a spark finally appeared.

It was too silent here. ‘Those shadows are quite convenient at times, aren’t they?’ she said.

He breathed a laugh. ‘They can be.’

She let the spark catch on the cloth resting on the hearth and threw it onto the logs, a blaze finally blooming. She doubted anybody else took that long to start a fire. Heat bathed her legs.

Elain didn’t know what to make of the lack of judgement she found on his face when she stood. Though, it was common with him, how honestly he looked at her. She shouldn’t be surprised. Save Nuala and Cerridwen, he was perhaps the only one who didn’t view her as a naive fool, a child. None of the others said it, but she saw it in their eyes, that patronising glimmer.

He was leaning against the mantelpiece with a forearm, one leg crossed over the other, the portrait of casual elegance. It wasn't often she got to see him looking so relaxed. Then again, he was tired.

Her eyes met his. ‘Just a few minutes now and we’ll be warm.’

His eyes were soft; he didn’t say anything. Just kept looking at her. Into her.

The air warmed. That was a quick few minutes.

Just the flames. Of course it was the flames. Anything else would be ridiculous.

The wound on his cheekbone was an angry red in the dim light. ‘I think you’ll need a bandage for that wound.’ Some herbs would be prudent too.

‘I’ll be fine without it,’ he said.

She pleaded for interference from something, anything. ‘It’s quite deep.’

‘Not a match for my Illyrian healing.’ The smirk that followed sent a hot spark down her skin. The chain now burned and she lost her grip on it completely, that leash uncoiling and slipping down, down, down into the abyss of her core. Her heart swelled like a dragon inhaling a mighty breath.

She needed a distraction from his achingly stunning face. The wings behind him were not a reprieve at all. Especially not after what she'd overheard about them. Certain people tended to forget she was in the room and had heightened hearing when they talked about the sensitivities of the Illyrian wings.

Her face heated and her heart throbbed against her chest. How improper these thoughts were. The air was stifling now. Perhaps they should've stayed in the bathroom. Even the weak chill of night air would be better than this. She wished she could have shadows to cool her down like Azriel did. Or to hide in. She'd seen him do that plenty of times.

His wings rustled and he straightened, coming off the mantelpiece. His eyes were glazed, somehow even more stunning than they were outside earlier. The fire highlighted the grey brown storm swirling in his gaze while streaks of emerald glistened like the veins on leaves in the height of summer.

It felt like the height of summer too in this heat.

He frowned. She cleared her throat of the pocket of air lodged there.

'Oh.' A bead of sweat glinted on his temple, right above the gash there. The sting that would ensue was an unnecessary pain, so she reached up to wipe it away.

As her finger touched his skin, above the crackle of the flames, a loud thudding beat entered her ears. Azriel caught her wrist and a small gasp left her lips.

His eyes smouldered, that thunderstorm churning in the dim light. His heartbeat. It was his heartbeat she heard. It ran and ran, crescendoeing like a drum before the climax of a song.

Was the shadowsinger feeling the same as she? Did his heart yearn to touch hers too?

It was unbearable, the alternative. Unbearable but probable.

Her voice was thick, with longing, with desire, with anguish all entangled when she spoke, 'I can hear your heartbeat.'

He said nothing. If he truly didn't reciprocate -

She almost couldn't continue but pushed out, 'And it's a beautiful sound.'

That song in his heartbeat finally climaxed, a thunder of sound pounding the air.

'You're beautiful, too,' he breathed.

Her own pulse throbbed, heartbeat echoing in her throat. Tears blurred her vision of him. She blinked them away; she wanted to truly see every inch of his wonderful face.

His breathing lightened.

As did hers.

He was a mirror, Azriel. He saw her; he saw what she hid from everyone else, clear as day. It was his eyes that told. His words, too, in that smooth voice, free of condescension.

And now no mouth had ever looked so inviting.

And maybe this was okay. This fondness, this attachment she'd developed for him. It wasn't a sudden spark - childish and unquestioned. This had been building for a while now. Months. Maybe even since the first year she'd met him. And maybe it was improper and she was a lady, but perhaps it went beyond expectation. If her sisters could give themselves wholly to their love, then so could she.

Love. It was exhilarating, liberating to open up that well inside her. To no longer have that chain leashing her heart.

And because she knew he'd not make another move, she whispered, 'Are you going to kiss me?'

The fire hissed as a log tumbled further into the hearth. Shadows smoked behind his eyes. 'Only if you want me to.'

Without a doubt, she wanted this. There was a certainty, a clarity in her bones that sang high and free. It whistled through her marrow and glided into her blood, awakening her soul. She was not a child. She could want this. She could have this.

'Yes.'

A frown marred his face and her heart dropped. His eyes were now a hurricane, darkened like night descended over them. Torment was etched in the line of his brows, in the flicker of his jaw as it ground together.

He was afraid. Of hurting her. Ruining her. She'd seen the way he always glimpsed his hands, glancing away with revulsion in his eyes. He thought he was a disgrace, a savage.

But how could that be? How could this male, this male of honour, loyalty and charm think so little of himself? He was better than any male she could've had the pleasure of knowing.

'I know what you're thinking,' she said, 'and I want you to know I trust you, Azriel. You will do me no harm. You couldn't.'

His eyes shuttered as he lowered them, brows still furrowed. He still held her wrist, so, pulling his arm with her, she reached out and stroked his brow with her thumb. She rubbed back and forth in gentle motions until that crease was gone, and he exhaled slowly.

'I trust you, Azriel. So kiss me.'

The moody veil of night lifted from his eyes, the tempest calming to a glistening haze. His heart still pounded, so wondrously loud as he leaned down, his free hand settling against her cheek. He was unhurried, tentative.

It was agonising. Worse still, he paused with an inch of space between their lips. His night-chilled air and cedar scent blended with the smoke and wood of the fire, seductive as it crept into her skin and twined around her bones like ribbons of mist round pillars.

With shadows flickering over his face, and the light so sultry beside them, his eyes were alluring. She'd never let herself notice that before. 'Kiss me,' she said faintly.

Elain didn't breathe as his lips touched hers.

Feedback's welcomed, thanks for reading 😊

@illyrian-lover-flower @julesherondalex @nooriee @mis-lil-red @verifiefangirl @tswaney17 @a-happybird @thewayshedreamed @sleeping-and-books @thefangirlofhp @januarystears @courtofjurdan @ladylochan

#elain archeron #Azriel #elriel #elain x azriel #acotar #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses

81 notes · View notes