#connor pookie dont read this

[uncarbonatedmilk]

tempted to redesign the hazbin hotel characters because their designs bug me so so so so much

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - neighbor joel miller x reader

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

A/N: hiii. this is my first time writing a fic. please let me know what you think :> i proofread like a million times and probs missed something. this is my first time writing anything sexual so dont make fun of me, im learning :p . thanks to my pookie raven for encouraging this, proofing it, and for feeding my delusions. 

Summary: After 4 years of college, you moved to a neighborhood in Austin. Your first and even second interactions with your new neighbor, Joel, were less than pleasant. But damn is he a looker. 

Warnings: MDNI, age gap, peeping reader, male masturbation, female masturbation, semi-asshole joel, some angst?? if you squint, cheating ex boyfriend, i think thats all idk let me know if i missed anything xoxo. 

Word Count: 1.6k

Chapter 2 - Masterlist

It's Saturday morning, the first Saturday morning in your new house. You’re 23 and fresh out of college with nothing but a bachelors in education and your final paycheck from your shitty college job. A shitty job with a shitty paycheck, that just so happens to cover your rent and utilities this month. You roll over and snooze your 7 a.m. alarm, and groggily make your way to the kitchen. Austin was going to be different, new city, new neighbors, new job. You plug in the coffee pot and open the cabinet only to realize; no coffee. You make a mental note of that. 

A new city means new habits… sorta. In high school, you held the record time for cross country, all 4 years. But then college happened and that habit died quickly. You lace up your running shoes, put in your earbuds, and head out the door. It's already muggy and you have no idea why you've done this to yourself. Just as you’re about to click shuffle on your iPod, a deep voice bellows from the doorway of the house beside yours. “Goddamnit Tommy! We’re going to be late again if you don't get out here. I'm sick of wasting my Saturdays because you can't get your lazy ass out of the bed Monday through Friday!”. The door slams. The man is tall, and largely built. His biceps borderline pulsating out of his black t-shirt that reads “Miller’s Construction”. You try to look away before the man notices but you’re too slow. You flash a smile and throw a hand up, he looks away without so much as a nod. “Dick.” you mutter. 

You started easy this morning and only did a mile, an 11 minute mile. You’re somewhat proud of yourself as it's been 5 years, but somewhat disgusted. You can't remember the last time you had an 11 minute mile, probably middle school. You take this as an opportunity to explore your new neighborhood. It’s still early, so it’s quiet. Gives You Hell by All American Rejects comes on and you turn it all the way up. You tell yourself “new town, new people, new start”. Almost all 4 years at University of Dallas were spent with your, now ex boyfriend, Connor. You guys were inseparable. You met at freshman orientation and were glued at the hip, until you caught him hooking up with a random girl at a frat party your senior year. You were crushed but never allowed him to see it; You just never spoke to him again. 

You made your way back home, and the loud cranky neighbor is still gone. You keep thinking back to the rude and awkward interaction this morning. After taking the coldest shower known to man, you turn on your current hyperfixation (Greys Anatomy) and look over your lesson plans for the following week. You want everything to be perfect because you need this job. You need Austin to work. Before you know it you’re drifting off to sleep and don't fight it. 

You wake up in a puddle of sweat to a fuck ton of banging and muffled yelling. The TV is off and the house is quiet. You go to check the time and the digital clock you keep beside the couch is off. Weird. You go to look at the microwave but it's also off. Great. It’s still light outside so you know you didn't sleep the day away. You flip up your pink Motorola Razr to call your landlord, and he's on vacation. Double great. He talks you through resetting the breaker box, which is on the outside of the house. The yelling is still going on outside and this time you get an earful. “Tommy, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sick and tired of picking up your goddamn slack.” “No one asked you to pick up my goddamn slack Joel. Quit your bitchin’ before I give you something to bitch about.” Joel and Tommy, what an interesting duo of neighbors you have. At this point, you’re so invested in their conversation that your landlord is just talking to himself. You mutter a couple uh-huhs and yeahs and it must be convincing enough because before you can muster the word wait, he hangs up. “Shit.” you say under your breath. You stand with your hands on your hips, staring intently at the unlabeled switches, not sure of what the hell to do.

It’s not like you ever had to do this growing up. Your dad was a tradesman, and your brother followed suit. As a woman, you were expected to tend to the home, which is funny because to you this seems like it should fall under “tending to the home”. You don’t dare call your dad in fear that you’ll get an earful about why you “need a man of the house” and “this is why you should’ve forgiven Connor”. 

You muster up the courage to head next door and ask one of your neighbors, the ones that had 2 full on blowouts in front of the neighborhood, to help you reset it. You feel like an idiot. You approach the door and knock. Gently but loud enough to be heard over yet another muffled argument. A silence, and then a burly man with short brown hair opens the door. “Can I Help You?” He says, deadpan. You get lost in his deep brown eyes, just for a second. Yet again, his biceps borderline ripping his t-shirt at the seams. Joel leans against the doorframe. “Hi, I'm your new neighbor” you point to your house. “I just moved in next door this past week and my breaker box tripped and I can't figure out how to reset it.” He’s deadpan staring, like he’s waiting for you to say something else. “Uhh.. Is there any way you could help m-” Before you can finish, he makes his way past you with a grunt. “Where's the box?” You follow quickly behind him. “It's on this side of the house, the left side.” He says nothing. After what seems like an eternity of silence, Joel finds the box and flips the switch. “Thank you so much. I didn't seem to catch your name.” A few seconds of silence again. “Joel.” he says firmly. “Joel, nice to meet you. I’d invite you in for-” and he interrupts again. “No need, but next time call your landlord.” You begin to explain a half lie half truth and say he's on vacation and didn't answer but when you look up, Joel is back in his driveway. 

You head back inside and begin to make some dinner. The sun is setting and you’re exhausted. You look through your boxes of food that you have yet to unpack and find all of your baking ingredients and a half loaf of bread. In your bare refrigerator is milk, eggs, and a pack of american cheese slices. You settle for a grilled cheese, but make a mental note to maybe bake some cookies or muffins for your neighbors since you seemed to be such an inconvenience today.

You yet again fall asleep on the couch, watching Reba reruns. You wake up and the clock reads 9:47 in bold red numbers. Fuck. You turn the TV off and mozy to your bedroom, making sure to turn your ceiling fan on when you walk in. You change into your pajamas, turn your bedside light on, and the overhead light off. As you’re getting cozy, you notice that your window faces Joel’s. You draw your curtains open, just a bit. Joel’s curtains are borderline shut but you can see a shadow moving. His silhouette begins shuffling back and forth before it stops and begins stripping. Right in front of the window. Christ those fucking biceps, even in shadow form. You sit up a little bit, careful to not be potentially seen. Next are the pants, you see the silhouette of his belt come off. Fuck. You feel like a fucking creep but you inch closer to your window. You think to yourself “if he didn't want anyone to see, why change in front of the window?”. A heat washes over you, you feel flushed. This is the most action you’ve gotten in months, and it isn't even action.

You open the drawer beside your bed and pull out your favorite vibrator. Your pants come off and you’re sprawled on the bed. You turn it on the lowest setting, a low but consistent buzz. You twitch. You look up and his silhouette is now leaning into the window frame. One hand holding him up, one stroking his cock. “Fuck.” you whine. It’s so big, you just know that the silhouette does it no justice. You click the button on your vibrator twice. Your body begins to arch, you’re panting, chasing your release, and it's so close you can taste it. You look out your window for one last glimpse and you see him. You SEE him. “Shit!” you audibly gasp. He’s staring you down. You can’t read his facial expression but you imagine it isn't good. You throw your vibrator across the room and basically do gymnastics to close the curtains and turn the light off. “Shit.” you murmur. 

Not only did you inconvenience Joel today and make a shitty first impression, he just caught you getting off to him in his own home. You fall asleep yearning for the release you never got. Feeling empty and unsatisfied. Wondering how the fuck to explain this when you eventually have to face him again.

[paletteprimary]

☽. MASTERPOST | INTRO

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺ ╭────────── ♱ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ♱ ─╮ Howdy <33 ,, Strings is my name, being silly is my game. I go by multiple names, but Strings is a heavily preferred one ! Single man :3 ILY MY BEST FRIENDS (Punky my pookie /p) There's more underneath! I think you should keep reading <3 ╰─ ♱ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ♱ ──────────╯ ≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

𓆩♡𓆪 About me ,, :^

Here's some basic info bout me ! vvv

my main interests are spooky month, pico's school, and mainly ocs (including fankids)

Lover of an indie games !! BATIM/BATDR, Smile For Me, Indigo Park, and more

i have more than three sonas !! I might post them all, I don't know,

some of my favorite music artists are: will wood, kmfdm, cg5, hozier, miracle musical, the living tombstone, etc etc <3

some of my songs are: too sweet, against the kitchen floor, megalomaniac, love me normally, pork soda, etc.

i have a ton of comfort characters, some are: ronbo, kevin, robert, alucard, etc

𓆩♡𓆪 tag info ,, :^

#pri art - my art specifically !

#pri reply - replies to asks/questions !

#pri fankid - fankids I made for ships I like!

#pri shipping - ship doodles, often paired with my art tag!

#pri yammer - my yammering :]

𓆩♡𓆪 dni ,, :^

basic dni criteria

ists & phobes

dark/pro/comship (WEIRDOS!!!)

certain irl doubles (unless i know you beforehand) (i'm irls of thomas connor, rick hedony & alucard)

ship slander (unless it's obviously problematic)

slander of my interests

unwanted criticism of any kind, especially if not asked

ANY person i had drama with, including exes

homestuck, hazbin/helluva, dsmp, object shows (im not okay with these, dont talk about them in front of me please. If you interact w/ me short term, I'll probably be fine)

ai "art" users, fuck off my stuff pal

people who use femboy. i hate that goddamn word

𓆩♡𓆪 byi + boundaries ,, :^

I would HEAVILY perfer if you use tonetags around me, you don't have to, but i'd like you to,

i ramble, yap, and yammer a TON, say outta pocket things, make inappropriate jokes, volume control/all caps issues, flirt/tease super close friends. If I EVER do a thing that makes you/someone uncomfortable, please inform me and don't tone switch with me.

sexual jokes are ONLY for close friends, not for people I just met, please refrain.

i dont like a lot of popular ships in the medias im into, don't get mad at me for not liking them. I am a BIG rarepair fan.

im a-okay with interaction, but I might not reply immediately because I am very anxious

i have some strong opinions, but i try to keep an open mind

don't question my art style (some doodles will just be a head and hands, my style in general is REALLY sketchy anyway)

my blog, my rules

☽. LAST UPDATED: 9/5/24