#congratulations the worst guy you know is transitioning

[fairyfleshprison]

Ocs from a story I'm calling "Congratulations! The Worst Guy You Know Is Transitioning !" Or C.T.W.G.Y.K.I.T for short :)

Art Comms Open Now !

[briamichellewrites]

36

2006. Linkin Park hadn’t seen Brian since before his transition, except for Mike and Brad. Now that they were back in the studio together, Mike decided to bring him along to surprise everyone. He was extremely handsome! After going through hormones for twelve months, he had his surgery to make him the man he always wanted to be. He also started working out to build muscles. Brad often told him he would have no trouble getting a boyfriend!

“Hey, guys. I want you to meet someone. This is Brian Pitt.”

They were confused for a moment before they realized who he was. Oh my god! Mike laughed as they approached him. He looked great! They took turns hugging him. His beautiful long brown hair was pulled back into a bun and he had slight facial hair. How was he doing? He was doing great. The last time they heard anything about him, he was wanting to transition. Yeah, that was a few years ago.

He explained the process he went through to transition. It started with him changing his name, clothes, and hair. He then started hormones before having his surgery. It was not fun and he would not do it again. But he was also grateful that he did decide to do it. Why did he choose to transition? He told them about him being adamant he was a boy since he was younger. His father always corrected him because he thought he was just confused about the differences between boys and girls.

Then, he broke down in tears and told him again that he was a boy. That was when he realized he was being serious. He took him to a specialist, who highly recommended taking him seriously. That got the ball rolling in starting his transition. He was in therapy to learn how to love his body for about a year or two. The therapist gave him the diagnosis of gender dysphoria.

The hormones were the worst. Everything came in waves. The first three months were great. Then months six through nine were terrible. Then, the last three months were like the first. They could see parts of Bria in the way he spoke and in his face. They remembered how he mentioned how he wanted to be a boy. They didn’t know that he hated his body. They couldn’t imagine what it would be like to want to be a different gender.

What was his full name? It was Brian Thomas Pitt. He chose his middle name for his biological father, Thomas Mathews and he chose Brian because it was one letter different than Bria. Initially, he wasn’t going to transition because he didn’t want to regret it in the future. After a year or two of therapy, his therapist recommended that he did it to improve his mental health.

Did it improve his mental health? Yeah, he did. When he looked in the mirror, he liked what he saw. Before, he just saw things he wanted to change about himself. Mike confirmed everything he said. He and Brad had no idea what being transgender meant and they had to do a lot of research. They learned a lot from talking to his therapist and doctors. One of the biggest things they learned was to let him be who he wanted to be. He highly recommended reading into what the transgender community.

Was he going to get a girlfriend? No, he was gay. He was wanting a boyfriend, though. They laughed. For the first time in his life, he was genuinely happy about himself and his body. That was obvious in his face and body language. At eighteen, he was officially an adult. Was he going to move out? He wasn’t sure. They were wanting him to leave but were also wanting him to stay.

“‘Brian, you’re never here anymore.’ Or ‘Brian, when are you going to move out?’”

They laughed. They then learned that Mike and Brad were recently engaged. They had been talking about getting engaged for a couple of years but they wanted to wait until after Brian’s transition. Congratulations! He laughed and thanked them. Who asked? He did. They exchanged rings and were planning a small wedding with close friends and family that would include Brian.

Chester got up and congratulated him. He hugged him and thanked him. Was he jealous? No, he wasn’t. He was able to be genuinely happy for him because he was his best friend. What the band didn’t know was that the engagement came after Brad confessed to having a sexual affair with his co-star, Angelina Jolie in 2004. That caused fighting between them. Brian didn’t want to be involved, so he opted to not come home. After he went missing overnight, they had to come together to find him.

He had fallen asleep in the backseat of his car in the driveway. After waking him up, they went back inside. He went after both of them for putting him in the middle of their fights. If they couldn’t get along, he would be running away. They apologized and the three of them talked about what happened. Mike and Brad also had a very long conversation about communication and commitment. Brad wanted to show how sorry he was and how he wanted to commit to being with only him.

Will you commit to being with me and only me for the rest of our lives? Brad said yes. They kissed before hugging each other. The following day, they went shopping for engagement rings. Brian didn’t take them seriously until they proved to him they were done fighting. They apologized for putting him in the middle. That was inappropriate and it shouldn’t have happened.

With time and commitment, the three of them worked together to heal their family. Brad was working on different movies in different locations. Brian was flying to New York for a week to meet him on the set of The Departed, a movie he was co-producing. Matt and Leonardo DiCaprio were going to be there, so he was very excited! He was leaving in a couple of days, so Mike made sure he had everything packed. That included his pass to get on set and his medication.

While the band worked, Brian sat and watched while playing on his phone. He had recently upgraded his old phone to a Sidekick. It was a lot easier for texting. It also had a web browser. Dave got the idea that something happened with Mike and Brad. He wanted to ask, but not in front of Brian. He invited him over to hang out. Yeah, he could do that.

He told Brian he was by himself for dinner. That just meant he was going to Chipotle. The band laughed. Was that his favorite restaurant? Hell yeah! They had the best food! He usually got a burrito bowl because he didn’t know how to eat a burrito without making a huge mess.

At Dave’s hours later, he asked him what happened after giving him a beer. Brad cheated on me. He told him how he had confessed to having a sexual affair that lasted a few months. Because of that, they were fighting and unknowingly putting Brian in the middle. He was so angry that he threatened to run away. For him, he thought that the image he had of his father was destroyed.

“He held him up as someone who was perfect and his affair shattered that image for him.”

“So you’re marrying a guy who cheated on you?”

“Yeah. He promised to love me and only me for the rest of our lives. That sounds different when you say it out loud.”

“Mike, I know you built your life with him but don’t marry a cheater. At least consider what you’re going into. He’s not the only guy on this planet.”

He nodded before taking a drink of his beer. After they both got a little drunk, they kissed. They were about ready to take their clothes off but they stopped. Dave backed up and apologized. He was sorry too. Since he was too drunk to drive, he insisted he spend the night. He would. Thank you. Until then, they continued talking while they finished their beers.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[princessphilly]

Word Count: 1975 (you know I start small then build up)

Tag list: @newlibrary , @luvsherleafs @spine-buster , @m00nlightdelights @lovethepreds @myhockeyworld87 @Defiant-mouse, @callllumhood @yzas-stuff , @stars-canucks @laurenairay @cutiesara23, @besthockeyfics @hockeyallthetime @tazerass , @markymarkstrom @letsgobaby, @himbos-on-ice @hockeywocs @bloodthedevil @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @whatishockey @dreamer1430 @shelbsatans

CW: people failing to be mean, some angst. We are still rated pg-13 but we will be hitting NC-17 soon.

Add me to the tag list!

It’s okay to admit that you are enough. It’s also okay to struggle with admitting that to yourself. At least, that’s what I learned when Meghan Markle still had her old blog, The Tig, up online before she became the Duchess of Sussex. Honestly, she’s one of my goals; her father is a trip and she’s managed to live well despite his issues. I’d like to be able to do whatever she did with my mom. - journal 9/2

**

“The man over there says thanks.”

Jamila looked at the waiter, confused. “Um, okay,” she questioned as she looked where the waiter was discreetly pointing. A tall, brown haired guy raised a whiskey neat in salute. Jamila gave him a tentative grin. After the waiter left, she hissed, “I didn’t send him a drink, Lisa! What the hell?”

Jamila had to admit he was attractive but not her usual type. Her type was the outdoorsy type, the kind who could fish, hunt, and actually be able to live off the land if society collapsed overnight. This guy… he looked like money and power, the kind to hire someone to take care of him.

After a moment, it became obvious what happened as Alyssa and Frances came back over. Jamila put on her best movie-star fake smile as those two came by. They were the worst kind of people; backstabbers who even when they got caught, still got away with it because they knew how to suck up to the people in power. Jamila knew exactly why they didn’t like her: she had enough fame left over that she didn’t need to be their friend to earn a good reputation in their phD program.

“Meet any nice guys,” Frances asked with a sly smirk on her face.

Jamila gave Lisa a sideways look as Alyssa said, “I mean, there’s Jonathan Toews, he’s single. I bet he’d be interested in a washed-up actress.”

“Hmmm, I have no idea who you are talking about,” Jamila honestly said.

Alyssa smirked as she replied, “He plays for the Blackhawks, Meena.”

Jamila grit her teeth as Alyssa used her first name. She hated when people used her first name, it brought up too many bad memories. Before she could reply, the attractive brown-haired guy was standing next to her with a faint grin on his face. “Um, hi,” Jamila said as Lisa, Alyssa, and Frances stared at him.

“I figured I’d say hi after you sent me that drink. I would have bought you one but I don’t know what you’re drinking and it wouldn’t be nice to assume. My name is Jonathan,” he said with a flirtatious wink.

Jamila hesitantly replied, “My name is Jamila and I’m just drinking merlot tonight.”

“Another glass,” Jonathan asked, his deep voice doing things to Jamila’s insides. She bit her lip as she looked at him, trying to decide if she wanted to encourage him or not.

“Sure.”

As he found a waiter, Jamila looked at Lisa. Lisa motioned to her phone and Jamila checked her screen. That’s jonathan toews, the guy those bitches were talking about. He plays hockey and is the captain of the blackhawks

Jamila texted back, what is hockey n y should i care

Then the waiter came with a fresh glass of merlot and Jonathan passed it to her. Jamila took a deep sip, loving the taste. Merlot was truly her favorite and they had a good house vintage. Jonathan asked, “Are you new to Chicago?”

“I’ve been here for a year. It’s alright,” Jamila replied. “This is my first time going out on the North Side though.”

Jonathan gave Jamila a slow smile and her breath caught. He definitely was attractive but not her usual type. He said, “Then that’s why we’ve never met til now. I would have definitely remembered such a beautiful woman if I saw you before.”

Jamila giggled. “That’s a good one. You get one point for that.”

“Just one point? Is it an assist or a goal?”

“Um,” Jamila stalled. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

The sly smile on Jonathan’s face turned into a wide smile. This girl was not only hot but he could tell that she was truly clueless about hockey. Tonight was a win-win for him. “I’m going to assume it’s a goal then.”

“Okay.” Jamila shrugged as she took another sip of her wine. “I’m still not completely impressed so you still need to work on it.”

Jonathan laughed, causing some people to turn towards them. Jamila caught Alyssa and Frances giving her the evil eye and she smirked. Reaching out a hand, she touched Jonathan’s upper arm. Jamila had no idea what hockey was but whatever it was, he definitely was built. Jamila turned slightly as she rubbed his arm, making sure that those two bitches could see that she was touching him.

“You like what you feel,” Jonathan asked, his voice slightly deeper with a sultry tone.

Unable to resist the bait, Jamila replied, “Of course,” licking her lips. There was no problem in flirting with him, she thought to herself as he smirked at her.

Jonathan’s eyes were on her lips. She had full lips, made for kissing. Jamila wasn’t his usual type but Jonathan didn’t have a problem with that. “There’s more that you can-,” he started before someone bellowed, “TAZER!”

Jamila whipped around towards the sound, annoyed to have been interrupted before her attention was caught by the kind of guy of her dreams. He was tall, auburn haired, and looked like a lumberjack. He was perfection and he came over to them.

“Duncs,” Jonathan called.

The lumberjack said, “Heyy Tazer.”

Jamila smiled. Maybe this whole drink mix-up thing was working out for her, she thought until she saw her LA friend, Shan, come up behind this Duncs guy. Shan’s brother Alex was with them, his ever present backwards cap covering his hair.

Jonathan loved Duncs as a brother but right now, he was annoyed and pissed. He had been close to sealing the deal but Jamila was now looking at Duncs like he was the last man on earth. Then Jamila gave him a brilliant smile and Jonathan suddenly realized that he was totally fucked.

“Hi,” Jamila purred, forgetting that her hand was still on Jonathan’s bicep. Duncan looked at that and raised an eyebrow at his captain. Jonathan gave him a glare and Duncan made a motion with his hands.

Before Duncan could reply, Shan yelled, “Jamillllaaa!! Long time no see!”

“Hi Shan,” Jamila drily replied, glad she used her preferred name instead of her first name. Shan was a fellow child actress, a Canadian who managed to get supporting roles at Disney over the years before transitioning to a character actress when she became an adult. Shan was the only one whose parents were actually on-set all of the time and paid attention to what was going on. Consequently, Shan was the only one who didn’t have substance abuse problems, etc. and the only one from her former shows that Jamila kept in contact with.

Jonathan looked at Shan and Jamila. “You two know each other?”

Shan drunkenly giggled as Alex closed his eyes. “We were both Disney kids back in the day.”

Jamila sardonically smiled. “Those were fun days.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex replied. “Shan’s got a role in one of the next Marvel movies so she decided to celebrate.”

“Congratulations,” Jamila sincerely stated. Getting a role in the MCU was a steady check and something to celebrate. Then Jonathan took a double take and looked at her and Jamila groaned. He bit one of his thin lips and then he smirked before putting a finger to his mouth. Jamila exhaled and gave him her biggest smile. He recognized her but he didn’t say anything. Jamila leaned over and whispered into Jonathan’s ear, “You just got a second point.”

“Then maybe you should let me have your number,” Jonathan purred into Jamila’s ear.

Jamila smirked, rolling her eyes but before she could respond, Shan slurred, “Wow, Jamila, you waste no time. You were just telling me yesterday that you didn’t know a damn thing about hockey and tonight, you’re talking with Captain Serious.”

Jonathan wanted to shake his teammate’s sister because Jamila shut down, pursing her lips.

Oblivious, Shan continued, “Now, you don’t have an excuse not to go with my brother to the bowling thing.”

Alex face-palmed as Jamila pinched the bridge of her nose. She had totally forgotten about that and of course, when Shan was drunk, she was loud and obnoxious.

Pasting her best fake smile on her face, Jamila said, “I think it’s time for me to go.”

“So soon,” Duncan teased.

Jamila smirked at him, looking him up and down. “I need my beauty rest and to not strangle my friend.”

Jonathan gritted his teeth as he watched Jamila eye his friend. Then she turned to him and blew him a kiss. “It was nice to meet you, Jonathan,” Jamila said, giving him a wink.

Jonathan smiled back and Jamila was taken aback for a moment. There was a promise in those dark brown eyes and she felt her body begin to respond. Then he licked his lips and for a moment, all Jamila could think about was maybe those lips on her body. Slightly shaking her head, Jamila waved her fingers before going to call an Uber. This was a night.

**

After getting home, Jamila tossed her bag onto her front table. She suddenly felt exhausted even though it was barely after 11:30pm. Walking into her living room, Jamila saw her other cell phone glowing. Picking it up, she cursed. There were fifteen messages and ten missed calls, all from Janine. The messages started off nice, asking how Jamila was doing to nasty, calling her all kinds of names for not picking up and giving her “mother” money.

Tossing the phone back onto the table, Jamila sighed. Getting a separate cell phone just for her mother’s calls was the best but it was draining just to look at it.

Janine Brown was a bit actress, stage-mother, and now two-bit manager. Janine had always wanted to be an actress, even when she was attending grad school at MIT for physics. There, she met Jayesh Vyas, a student earning a PhD in computer engineering. Within six months, they were married and expecting a child; after two years, they were divorced after pressure from Jayesh’s parents. Jayesh returned to India and Janine was stuck with an 11 month old baby with dimples made of gold.

By the time that Jamila could remember, she was in front of a camera. Her life as a child was in front of a camera; first as the adorable adopted child in Granger vs Granger, then the youngest kid in The Elliot Show as a young child. Then from age 12 to 17, Jamila starred as Jane Lee in the Disney show, Plain Jane. School was on set. Birthdays were celebrated on set. Everything revolved around a set year round until right after Jamila’s 17th birthday.

The aftermath of that birthday was a stay in rehab, a cancelled show, and living with her dad and stepmom full time in Atlanta.

Jamila promptly deleted all the messages and voicemails before going on online banking. After authorizing a transfer to Janine’s account, Jamila showered, put on pajamas, and grabbed her pink Lepidolite and pink quartz crystals. Sitting cross legged, Jamila worked to calm her anxiety so that she could have a restful night sleep.

But in her dreams, she tried to focus on a pair of blue eyes and a lumberjack look. However, she kept dreaming of a pair of deep obsidian brown eyes, a crooked smile, and a deep voice telling her everything he was going to do to her

[bbywonu]

soulmate au. vernon.

masterlist

part one

!girlgroupreader x vernon

a/n: feedback is welcomed and would be much appreciated. have a wonderful day loves <3

requested: no <3

summary: in which you and your soulmate are connected by physical pain. 

word count: 1.4k.

I laughed along with Ingrid and her boyfriend as they had told a funny story to our friends. Owen had decided to fly over here to surprise Ingrid and to congratulate us on another successful album. I thought it was sweet the way he looked at her every time she would let out a laugh, or how he would look at her with stars in his eyes whenever she would speak. I also however found it mildly disgusting. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good love story here and there, but I hate people. People are the worst.

Have I ever had my heart broken? No. Have I ever broken a few hearts? Sure. My problem is that I always self sabotage relationships. I had grown up listening to stories about the origins of soulmates and how we “shouldn’t give up hope because ours are out there somewhere”. At first I believed it because how could I not? I would wake up with bruises and then maybe feel a little pinch here and there while I was in class, and every so often have to go to the nurses office to lay down because suddenly I have a huge headache. 

I would keep myself up at night thinking about what my soulmate was like. I couldn’t wait to meet them, and knowing that I didn’t have any information about this mystery person, my heart yearned. With a heavy heart, I gradually tried ignoring everything I had learned about soulmates. I mean, what were the odds that I would actually meet my person? I dated a few times in high school but was never truly satisfied because deep down, I knew that I could have someone out there that was just for me.

So here I was on a Thursday night, at the studio with a bunch of friends and coworkers celebrating our groups new album release. We were currently in South Korea were we would be performing at MAMA in a few days. Needless to say, we had all been in high spirits recently. I put down my glass of apple cider that my manager had jokingly given me, regarding that I wasn’t quite the legal age yet. I took a quick glance around me and decided I would get a breath of fresh air. 

I plugged in my earbuds as I walked through the cold air and into the night. I came to a stop beside the Han River as I decided to admire the Banpo Bridge in the distance. I usually couldn’t get out very often thanks to our tight schedules. It was times like these that I knew I shouldn’t take for granted. I took a picture for my instagram story and began walking back to the studio. As I turned to walk back, I tripped over my own two feet falling down and scraping my hand in the process. 

“They’re gonna feel that one.”

-

Arriving at MAMA, I couldn’t help but play with my fingers I was so nervous. Thinking about how many idols we would be seeing and meeting made my stomach, though I was really only familiar with a few. We had been practicing our dance routine for this performance for quite some time now, and even though we had everything down, I still felt anxious as we got ready backstage.

“Vera! You look so good!” Mina complimented.  

Vera laughed as she sent her air kisses. We had decided to change up our look a little for our new album, seeing as we went with a darker theme. Though we weren’t complaining, we looked like total queens. I was excited to see who all would be attending the event, as I hadn’t checked beforehand.

We were led by our manager to another section in which we had a few minutes to warm up. Deciding that we were all warmed up, we started joking around with each other for a few minutes as it was almost our cue to get on stage. I saw that some of our staff was carrying water bottles, so I decided to run over and get some before we were called out.

“Y/N!” I heard someone call out. I turned around to see my manager waving at me to come over. I gave her a thumbs up and quickly thanked the staff member as I began to jog back towards her. I turned too quickly and slammed my hip into the table right next to me. Before I could let out a groan in pain, I looked out of the corner of my eye at someone who also seemed to be bent over in obvious pain. I regained my composure as I stood up and kept staring at him. I scanned my eyes over his group members who began teasing him over his misfortune. My eyes made contact with one of his members who seemed rather intrigued with me.

Much to my dismay, our manager pulled me away before I could even think about what just happened. Maybe it was just a coincidence? Right, it couldn’t have been anything but a coincidence. I looked back at his group to see that him and his group members were talking avidly amongst each other.

As we performed our title song, I felt myself become less anxious as our execution so far was flawless. Singing next to my members, my mind wandered to the guy backstage. Come to think of it, he was quite attractive, remembering the short moments I had stared at him. I shook my head focusing more on our performance as I had almost missed my verse.

We walked backstage as we all had smiles on our faces from how well our performance had gone. Mina and Vera were chatting excitedly amongst the staff members as they thanked them for their hard work. Ingrid gave me a quick hug as she spotted Owen talking to our manager. I winked at her as she stuck her tongue out at me playfully. I caught up with Vera and Mina as we walked back to our dressing room.

“Whoever my soulmate is, I’m going to fight them.”

“Why?” Mina asked.

“Why?” I held back a chuckle as Vera looked at her as if she had two heads. “Why? Because when we transitioned into our dance break, I felt like Thor had just hit me in the shin with Mjolnir.”

“Maybe your soulmate is a soccer player”

“Well he’s not very good.” She said as we all let out a chuckle. Regarding soulmates, I felt as if Vera and I were on completely different spectrums. She was absolutely obsessed with anything and everything to do with soulmates. Even though that odd incident happened earlier, I shook it to the back of my mind feeling quite silly.

We turned the corner and I made eye contact with the same guy before. He smirked a little before calling out to the guy who had been in pain previously. My breath hitched a little, feeling nervous that I would soon make eye contact with him. I felt my cheeks get hot as we gradually made eye contact. There were so many thoughts racing through my mind, though they were cut short when I suddenly felt a dull pain shoot through my right shoulder. I looked over to see that Mina was laughing at Vera, who I suspect was the cause of my pain.

I was about to ask her why she did that when she nodded her head in the guy’s direction. I looked over to see that he was rubbing his shoulder as well. Through the laughs of his group members, our eyes connected and he gave me a shy smile as he walked over. My heart raced more and more as he got closer.

“Hi, I’m Vernon.” He said with a small smile. His cheeks were flushed a light pink as he rubbed the back of his neck in anticipation. I smiled at how handsome he was. I still hadn’t fully processed what had just happened yet. Realizing I was staring, I looked down shyly as I felt my cheeks get even hotter.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” I let out a small chuckle as I looked up at him. This all felt so surreal. No relationships or meetings that I have had in the past with anybody could have compared to what my heart felt for him in this very moment.

“Nice to meet you Y/N.”

I could already hear the squeal Vera would let out when she would soon learn that I had met my soulmate. Maybe she wasn’t totally crazy to think that all of those old folk stories were wrong after all. Oh dear, is it too early to say I’m in love?  

[omgrachwrites]

Always There - Remus Lupin

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: After a particuarly bad full moon, your boyfriend Remus is in need of some kind words and gentle touches.

Warnings: fluff, teeny bit of angst

Words: 1179

Disclaimer: This gif does not belong to me!

A/N: This is for @approved-by-dentists​ 400 writing challenge, congratulations again honey, I had so much fun writing this!! I know that I always uses Andrew Garfield for Remus but I’ve recently discovered Tom Webb and he’s just *chef’s kiss*! I hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think, I love you all very much! xxx

You bounced your leg nervously as you sat in the common room alone – you had convinced Lily and Alice to go up to bed a couple of hours ago – in front of the fire. You were willing yourself not to fall asleep. Nerves churned in your stomach as they always did when it was a full moon as you hoped that your boyfriend would be alright.

You and Remus had been dating each other for the past year, the two of you had just started out as really good friends until you both felt a different sort of connection and decided to try dating. You had feared that the relationship would lack passion but you were very wrong, especially just before the full moon. You found yourself blushing at the memories.

About half an hour later your boyfriend and his friends came stumbling through the portrait hole. Remus looked a little worse for wear, it was clear that this full moon had been a bad one. Your heart constricted painfully when you saw the cuts and bruises all over his gorgeous face.

“I’m fine, just leave me alone!” he grumbled, Sirius opened his mouth to say something but Remus quickly shot him down, “I’m not going to the hospital wing, so just forget it!” he said angrily and that was when he noticed you standing by the fire. His hard eyes softened just a touch, “Y/N, you should be in bed!”

You knew that he didn’t mean to raise his voice so you didn’t hold it against him, instead you walked over to him and stroked his cheek gently, being careful not to hurt him, “you say that every month, and every month I’m always going to be here for you because I love you,” you kissed him gently and he smiled at you, his eyes softening even further.

“I love you too, I didn’t mean to shout. I’m sorry Y/N.”

“I know, and it’s okay,” you smiled and glanced at the others, they all looked absolutely exhausted, it must have been a really long night, “you guys go to bed, I’ll clean Remus up since he won’t go to the hospital wing,” you glared at him playfully.

“Are you sure?” James asked, his eyes drooping with exhaustion, you were so grateful that Remus had such great friends who would look out for him, “I’m sure,” you replied with a soft smile and the boys all looked politely relieved as they traipsed up to their dormitory.

You sighed and sat Remus down on the couch, you were proud of him for enduring this every month though you wished that he didn’t have to go through all the pain of it. He was so brave. You sat down next to him and stroked his tousled hair off of his forehead and he looked up at you with puppy dog eyes. His puppy dog eyes nearly always worked on you, but not tonight. You grinned as you kissed him.

“Don’t look at me like that handsome, I still need to clean you up and then you can sleep. Take off your shirt so I can see what we’re dealing with while I run up and get some Murlap and Dittany,” you always hand them on hand now.

You crossed your arms while he pouted and took his shirt off, wincing as he did so. You chewed your lip as you made your way upstairs; you hated seeing him in such pain. You grabbed the Murlap and Dittany, conjured up two bowls and a cloth before going back down to see Remus. You had never seen him this bad before, he had deep open wounds across his stomach that would surely scar and purple bruises littered his chest and his neck. You just wanted to kiss them better.

You sighed as you gently ran a hand down his chest gently, he shivered as you ran your gentle fingertips over his pink scars and he blushed at your touch before his eyes darkened. You giggled as you rolled your eyes, you knew exactly what that look meant, “they’ll be none of that until your wounds properly heal,” you said in a breathy voice as you rested a hand on his thigh.

Remus huffed before his face darkened and he suddenly got serious, “it’s bad, I know, it was the worst full moon in months. I just didn’t want the others to know how badly it affected me. I didn’t want you to know either,” he admitted and you sighed, you wished that he could be more open about his struggles.

“Why not? You know how much we all love you,” you asked, soaking the cloth in Dittany and applying it to the bleeding cuts on his stomach, you vaguely wondered what had happened.

“I’m the monster, remember? You all risk so much for me every month, without fail when I could easily kill every one of you,” he winced as you cleaned his wounds.

“You’re not a monster sweetheart, I hate it when you say that,” you chewed your lip as you looked into his handsome face. How could someone so beautiful and amazing think he was a monster? You were very much aware that when he made his transition he could hurt you but you trusted him with every bit of your heart.

“We risk everything for you because we love you and we’d all die for you without a second thought, you have to know that,” you smiled at him reassuringly as you quickly finished cleaning him up. You wanted to get him off to bed as quickly as you could so he could at least get a little bit of sleep.

“I appreciate the sentiment but I don’t want any of you to have to die for me,” he mumbled, taking your hands and kissing over your knuckles, making you beam at him, he was so adorable, “I’m sorry Y/N.”

“For what sweetie?” you frowned at him, why was he apologising? He had nothing to apologise for, absolutely nothing.

“Taking care of me; it’s rotten work.”

You grinned at him and kissed him deeply, “not when it’s you baby. C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

“Will you stay with me?” he asked in a small voice and you truly thought that you couldn’t love anyone more; your heart was so full of love for him.

“Of course, I’ll even let you be the little spoon,” he chuckled as you kissed the top of his head, “I’ll always be here for you Remus.”

And, you were always there for him, even when you left Hogwarts and the wolf’s bane potion was invented, you were glad of it, it reduced a great deal of his pain and self-loathing. Even when he was curled up on your lap as a harmless wolf you were there for him. You were even right by his side when your best friends died and Sirius was locked up. You would walk through hell for him. You’d always be right by his side, for that was where you belonged.

------------------------------

@approved-by-dentists​ @smiithys​

[moskaisley]

migraine pt. 2 | acute

rating: mature

word count: 4k

warnings: no smut in this part but!! implied abuse and mentions of trafficking!! cursing and violence as well

a/n: HI JUST A NOTE SAYING FUCK HUMAN TRAFFICKING >:(  it's a super huge problem in my city and i rly wanted to make the reader a protag who fights against it. in this part i wanted to explore more of mando and reader working together on a mission. not a lot of feelings but more so their dynamic as a team.

summary:

“...under my protection.”

When a bounty turns into a rescue mission. 

parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

ao3 link / masterlist

“So, tell me about this big quarry again?”

Your exit ramp was down, and Mando stood at the bottom, watching you gather materials from your ship to put in a satchel. He insisted on taking the Razor Crest for this mission, even if The Slipstream was newer and a bit more reliable. You supposed you could let the ship rest and refuel for a few days while you were away.

“His name is Khan Horne from Canto Bight; he’s wanted for running multiple sex trafficking rings throughout the galaxy,” he paused for a second, watching you struggle to grab something from a high shelf.

“I thought you said -” You grunted as you stood on the tips of your toes, “this job was Inner Rim.”

You almost jumped out of your skin when you felt a hand on your shoulder; the Mandalorian was suddenly behind you. Being the gentleman that he was, his free hand reached past your face to pick up the blaster from the shelf up above. It was annoying how that simple action warmed your cheeks.

“It is. Bounty hunters are the New Republic’s last-ditch chance at catching him. That’s why he has such a high reward,” Mando twisted it in his hands, “You still have this?”

You swallowed thickly, “Never found a reason to throw it out.”

The blaster was small and old, but it still held a charge. Mando gave it to you after you found yourself defenseless when your blades found themselves lodged in a wall in the middle of combat. Little did he know, you couldn’t hit anything unless it was less than four paces in front of you. A lot of your free time after that was filled with target practice and drills. You remember your stomach lurching whenever he put his hands on you to change your stance. He had a habit of leaning in close with his hand on the small of your back, the other pointing towards an old Stormtrooper helmet perched on a wall.

Nowadays, you don’t shoot much, but you still took it on every mission just in case.

He handed it back to you, handle first,  “You still a terrible shot?”

You took it and tucked it in your ratty side holster,  “I’m better than you think, old man.”

A part of you hated how easy it was to talk to him after all these years. When you were with him now, it felt futile to stay angry at someone you shared such a deep connection with at some point in your life. But you haven’t forgotten those first days in the Slipstream, makeshift curtains out of your clothes, crying your weight in tears and dealing with one of the worst migraines of your life. You remember heaving bile in the shipyard with how disoriented you were.

Maybe one day, you’ll tell Mando everything you went through after his disappearance. You knew it could crush him; he’d spill out apologies until you were drowning in them. But then again, maybe not. He did leave you stranded on a planet all alone after fooling you into thinking you two would stick together as a team, maybe even more. You couldn’t really tell what he was feeling behind his beskar helmet. He was obviously being soft on you now, but you honestly think it’s because he’s trying to save face for what he’s done to wrong you.

It was all very headache inducing. That was the last thing you needed right now.

When you closed up the Slipstream and boarded the Razor Crest, you expected everything to be pretty much the same. And it was, save for the tiny wrinkly baby cooing in a little floating pod.

“Um, congratulations?” You were only slightly panicking. Who the hell did he have a baby with?

“It’s not mine,” he said, quick to explain, “biologically. That is.”

“Oh.”

“He’s... in my care until I find his people.”

You walk up to him, and raise your hands up to his pod, “May I?”

Mando nodded; at his consent, you gingerly nuzzled his head with your fingers. He gurgled in delight, his big eyes squinting with happiness. He was achingly adorable.

“Hello there,” you introduce yourself, oh so gently, “You must be Mando’s new partner. You must be sick of him already, huh?”

You shoot a pointed smirk at the Mandalorian, and he shakes his head, amused.

Kids were never really something on your radar. They weren’t right for the way you lived. However, every so often (when you’re especially exhausted from bounty hunting), you let yourself dream about a day when you’d eventually settle down in a cottage, one with lots of windows, and on the cliff near an ocean. You would maybe be married, with one or two children to bring up and raise as your own. The windows would be open to let in the ocean air, curtains delicately drifting in the wind, and you would be sipping on a cup of tea with your family softly sleeping around you. Your daydreams were so domestic because you envied people who had such peace; no blaster smoke or iron blood in your mouth. Just a sleepy home with laughing children, sea breeze and sunshine. In another time, you’d imagined Mando there, no helmet or beskar armor. Just him and you and home.

You don’t think about that cottage much anymore.

Pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you turned away from the child to Mando, who was already settling into the pilot’s chair, setting coordinates.

“Jaemai?” You asked, brows furrowed.

“The planet is a big hub for travelers in-transit, especially between Rims,” The Mandalorian

explains, “It’s basically a glorified airport; busy enough to transport people without a trace.”

You lifted the tracking fob off the console, turning it around in your hands, “Is that where he was last spotted?”

“Yes, but with how evasive he is, we’d be lucky to catch him there at all.”

You hum in agreement and take a seat in the co-pilot chair, “We need a plan. With an operation as big as his, he probably has men hired to protect him at all times.”

It was like no time had passed between you two. Discussing strategy was always easy, probably because there weren’t any feelings involved: just a bounty. Much to Mando’s dismay, the two of you decided that his presence in any of the terminals would be highly suspect. It was easier to have you undercover as a young, lonely traveler. Mando would have the high ground in the air traffic control tower, scanning the area just in case Khan takes off.

You looked for clothes that were the least ragged and dirty; many of the people who traveled through Jaemai were dignitaries, senators and the like. (Basically, not dusty bounty hunters like you.) The lack of a utility belt and combat jacket left you struggling to fit any weapons on your person. You were dressed as a doctor and you were able to tuck your blaster so that it would be hidden by your flowing lab coat, but you had to sacrifice your dual blades for small throwing knives under your sleeves. The blades needed to be put elsewhere, which wasn’t ideal in an emergency, but you felt more comfortable having them at all.

“Leave your commlink on the whole time,” Mando advised as he pushed the tracking fob into your hands, “If anything goes south, come back to the Razor Crest immediately and we’ll figure something else out.”

You nodded, sticking the tracking fob in the inner pocket of your lab coat. You took the leather satchel that carried your weapons, and walked down the exit ramp onto the tarmac.

“See you on the other side, Mando,” you say to him

“Y/N,” he called, “Be safe.”

You took a deep breath and kept walking through the gates of the shipyard to catch a shuttle for the departure terminal. Jaemai’s transit system was enormous; it crossed stretches and stretches of land, and you hoped that you wouldn’t need to scour each one to find a single man. The first terminal was reserved for transit in between the Inner Rim and Core worlds; you figured that if Khan had been running circles under the nose of the New Republic, it would be the best place to start.

Three hours later and you haven’t even covered half the terminal. It’s so huge that finding a single man here would take an entire day. He’s definitely here though; the tracking fob took you somewhat closer to the right direction, but he was still able to blend in amongst the crowd. Nausea and pain in your temples were starting to settle in; being in such a loud and cramped space was an easy trigger for a migraine. You scrambled to the nearest refresher, slipping into one of the stalls and shutting the door behind you. Reaching into your satchel, you pulled out the bottle of pain pills and a flask of water.

“Y/N, come in,” Mando’s voice through your commlink startled you into dropping your pills onto the ground, “Is everything okay?”

You groaned, “Yes, I’m fine. Just frustrated. This guy could be anywhere, Mando. I think we need to cut our losses and wait for him to move.”

You heard him sigh, “It would take a few days to refuel depending on where he ends up next. We need to catch him here while we can.”

You rubbed your temples with your fingers; he was right. You needed to pull it together or else you’d probably never find Khan at all. You bend over to pick up the pills on the floor but you freeze at the sound of a sniffle. Is someone crying? Pushing open the door to your stall, you locate the sobs of a girl two doors over.

“Knock on the door.  She’ll tell you what you’re looking for.”

So you knock, “Um, hello?”

Mando is questioning you from the other line, but you ignore him. The door to the stall is unlocked, and you push further. You see a Twi’lek girl frozen and curled up in the corner next to the toilet. Tears were running down her face, and a nasty welt was forming at the corner of her eye. Your heart ached; she couldn’t have been older than 19.

She tensed in her spot, and she looked ready to dash out the door, but you held your hands out in front of you to ease her fear.

“Hey hey, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you, I promise,” you said gently. Mando went silent over the line choosing instead to listen intently.

She stayed still, but refused to speak. Instead, she pushed herself further against the wall behind her. You set your bag down on the floor carefully, and then you took a seat a few paces in front of her.

“My name is Y/N,” you introduced, “What’s yours?”

She still said nothing, sniffling and shifting uncomfortably in the corner.

You tried again, “I’m a doctor. I can help you with your eye. It looks like it hurts a lot.”

You reach into your satchel and pull out your medkit, careful to conceal your blades; you don’t want to scare the poor girl. From the kit, you take out a bacta wipe and hold it out in front of her.

“May I?” you prompt calmly, waiting for her to come to you. And she did. She unfurls from her corner, and slowly crawls towards you. You smile as you gently take her face in your hand, and wipe along the bruised area. The area starts to heal already, and her labored breathing has returned to a normal pace.

She’s looking down at her knees as she whispers, “Aayn’vida”

“That’s a lovely name,” you say. You reach into your bag again, pulling the flask of water and handing it over to her, “Here, drink some water.”

“Thank you,” She croaks as she unscrews the cap and chugs it down.

“Aayn’vida,” you sit up a little straighter, “ Do you mind telling me you did this to you?”

She freezes mid sip and starts to shut down again. Your chest constricts at how afraid she is. “I fell, that's it.”

“You can tell me if you need help. I’m here to help you-”

She shifts again, looking around and suddenly on high alert, “What is that beeping?”

You’re caught off guard, “What?”

“Your jacket. It’s beeping. Is that a tracking fob? Are you here to take me too?”

Your heart rate starts to pick up. If the fob is beeping, that means Khan is close. You scramble for a response that won’t scare Aayn’vida away because it’s abundantly clear to you that she’s involved with this whole situation.

“No! No, it’s just a pager,” you reassure her, “It’s just telling me I’m going to depart in an hour, but I won’t leave you unless you’re okay.”

She doesn’t seem convinced. You try to wrack your brain again to save face, but then a loud banging comes from the door. Your tracking fob is beeping even louder now. Aayn’vida seems to react automatically to the loud knocking at the door, springing upwards. “I’m sorry, ma’am but I need to leave,” she quickly stammers, pushing through the stall and striding towards the door.

“Wait!” You grab her arm, “Aayn’vida, I can protect you. You just need to tell me what’s going on.”

She’s on the verge of tears again. She whimpers “You can’t; he’ll kill you and then he’ll kill me too. He’s evil and-”

You grip her shoulders and steady her as another angry stream of knocks come again. “Who is ‘he’? What is his name?”

“Khan. Khan Horne."

--

Mando’s voice suddenly cut through your commlink, “I’m coming over. Keep the girl safe.”

“Okay. Be careful. I’ll meet you at the Razor Crest”

She looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. The knocks came again, and they were growing increasingly louder and heavier. It only panicked Aayn’vida more.  You look her in the eyes again, and hold her shoulders tighter.

“Aayn’vida, I’m going to need you to pay close attention to me, do you understand?” You speak to her firmly and quickly,  “Stay behind me and under any circumstances do not leave my side.”

She nods, and watches intently as you secure the satchel to your person and pull the tracking fob from your coat. The beeping is echoing off the walls of the bathroom; it’s deafening.

“He’s right outside the door.”

Your head pounds at every knock at the door, but for Aayn’vida’s sake, you keep up your strength.

You hold her hand as you open the door, and you’re met face to face with Khan Horne, an incredibly well kept man dressed in an expensive suit. He scowls at the sight of Aayn’vida cowering behind you.

“What is the meaning of this?” His voice is grating. It feels like knives against your skin, “Who are you? What are you doing with my daughter?”

You bore daggers into his bronze brazen eyes, “I’m afraid that’s none of your concern, sir.”

“This is preposterous!” he snarled, “Hand her over immediately or I’ll make you pay, sweetheart.”

He slams his hands against the door frame in an attempt to intimidate you, moving in closer to gain the upper hand. You’re quicker than him though; in an instant, you have a small knife to his throat, digging it ever-so slightly deeper.

“Unfortunately, for you Mr. Horne, Aayn’vida is now under my protection. ”

“You bitch, ” He hisses at you, blood trickling at the fresh wound in his neck.

You push forward out of the bathroom and edge the girl into the hallway, keeping your blade trained at Khan until the two of you can slip out into the terminal crowd. You grip her hand and begin rushing towards the nearest exit. As the two of you push through the droves of travelers, you immediately notice men moving quicker towards you.

“Mando?” You call, pressing the link closer to your ear, “His men, they’re everywhere.”

You hear him grunt on the other line, “They’re out here too. Don’t try and fight them, just get outta there.”

Khan’s men were flanking all around you, inching in closer and you’re trying not to panic. Your brain is pounding and yelling at you to find a solution. You can’t take all of them by yourself. If you tried, Aayn’vida would end up taken again, Khan would disappear and your body would be dumped on a tarmac.

“Think, think, think.”

And then you see it along the far wall, a fire alarm. You take the knife you used against Khan in your dominant hand

“Maker, give me something.”

You throw, and it lands perfectly, shattering through the glass and straight to the switch. Water and cooling steam rains from the ceiling, as if it were falling from the heavens. The terminal spirals into chaos with civilians yelling and scrambling to get to evacuate. Khan’s men are thrown for a loop. Your grip on Aayn’vida’s hand tightens, and you sprint towards the exit.

“Mando!” You plead through the comm link, “Get to the ship! We need to go!”

“Y/N! H-h-ell-?” Your heart plummets to your stomach when the line fizzles dead. In your stress, you scream a curse and rip the earpiece off and toss it to the ground. Khan and his men are still in tow and you need to keep going, Mandalorian with you or otherwise.

“Sorry! I need this,” you push an unsuspecting droid off a speeder, and take it for yourself, heaving Aayn’vida behind you, “Hold on!”

You take off at full speed and before you know it, you’re both running through the shipyard.

You rush up to the bay door of the Razor Crest, banging loudly and yelling for Mando to open up. Your chest stomach lurches when no one answers.

“I believe you have something of mine, doctor. ”

You whip around, pushing Aayn’vida behind you against the ship and arming yourself with another throwing knife. Khan has two of his men flanking him, both with blasters trained on you and the girl. Your head was searing with pain.

“Drop it, sweetheart,” his skeevy voice chided, “You’re clearly outnumbered three to one.”

You smirked, “I like those odds.”

“Hey, that’s his line.”

Khan Horne’s face soured at your indifference, “You’re partner isn’t here, bounty hunter! My men are taking the Mandalorian down as we speak.”

“You clearly underestimated him then,” you taunt, stalling for time, “He’s the best in the parsec, didn’t you know?”

He’s getting impatient, you can tell. Khan raises his hand and his men take aim.

“Wait!” You hold your hands up, “If you can triple the bounty on your head, I’ll let her go and you won’t hear from me again.”

Aayn’vida rustles nervously behind you. Khan stops his men and takes a second to think over your offer. He narrows his eyes at you in apprehension, “What is keeping me from killing you and taking her myself?”

“The New Republic will always send hunters your way. I can clear your name in the Guild with Greef Karga and guarantee your immunity,” You try to keep your voice from shaking. You know you couldn’t actually clear his name, but he didn’t know that, “Just give me the credits and say the words.”

The thirty seconds he takes to think your offer over feel like an eternity.

And then, by some miracle, he says, “Very well then. Cuff her for me, will you?”

He waves off his men and they lower their aim.

You turn around and guilt overwhelms you when you see the fear and shock in Aayn’vida’s eyes. You’re terrifying her. As you open your satchel to reach for the cuffs, you briefly show her the hilts of your weapons. You give her a knowing look and hope she understands.

“Trust me.”

You slip both hilts up into one your sleeves, and hold them in a way where they wouldn’t be seen by Khan and his men. You then put the cuffs around Aayn’vida’s wrists, and turn around striding forward, gently pulling the girl by her restraints. Khan has already put the credits in a box, and he’s stupid enough to hand it off to you first.

You take the box and deck him in the face as you push Aayn’vida back towards the Razor Crest. You command her to take cover as you finally unsheathe your dual shock blades from their retractable sheath. His men are quick to take aim, but you’re quicker. You drop to the ground to swipe at the left man’s legs. He cries in pain, electrocuted and stumbling over himself. You slash his chest and kick him backwards.

You yell when you feel a hot surge rip through your right side, and you curse yourself for nearly forgetting about the man on the right. With all your strength, you launch your left blade into his shoulder, pinning him against the concrete wall behind him. You raise your other sword to deliver a final blow, but the click of a blaster makes you freeze.

“That’s enough! ” Khan’s voice is unhinged, “I’ve had enough of you, you fucking whore. I’m not just going to kill you; I will break you. I will throw you to the ugliest creatures in this galaxy and let you rot!”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Another blaster click. Mando’s smooth voice sounded like a song from an angel. Relief washed over you like an ocean wave. You dropped your hands to the side, and turned to Khan with a victorious grin.

“He can bring you in warm, or he can bring you in cold.”

You knew the Mandalorian was smirking under that shining beskar helmet.

Khan cursed loudly, finally accepting defeat. He dropped his blaster to the ground, and Mando roughly pulled his wrists to bind them. You trudge over to Aayn’vida, unlocking her restraints.

“Sorry I gave you such a scare back there,” you say, holding out your hand for her to take “I really didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. You did what you had to,” She croaks. As you go to pull her up, however, a sharp pain shoots through your waist and you cry out.

“Dr. Y/N, you’re bleeding!” Aayn’vida cries as she catches you and loops your arms over her shoulders.

Any relief that you felt at the Mandalorian’s return and the capture of the bounty quickly dissipated when you looked down at your side. You could feel that your skin was singed, and red was seeping through your godforsaken lab coat and dripping further down your legs. Your head is crescendoing with pain, and black is creeping into the corners of your vision. You haven’t felt a blaster wound with a migraine before; Aayn’vida is hastily hobbling you to the ramp of the Razor Crest. Her words are becoming garbled; you hear her call out for Mando. You think he said your name.

The last thing you see are the shadows of his beskar helmet, and the last thing you feel are his leather gloves, scooping you up and carrying you up the ramp into the ship. He says your name over and over again, and you make out only a few of his words.

“Stay with me.”

“Y/N, please.”

He’s setting you on his bunk, stripping you of your lab coat, and spraying the area with bacta spray. You wail at the agonizing sting, and your vision is completely blurring over. You were in so much pain. You feel leather fingers against your cheek; he’s wiping away tears you didn’t know were falling.  He’s shushing you softly as he ties your lab coat around your waist as a temporary gauze.

“Sssh, lay down ,” he whispers as he gently eases you down onto a bed, “You’ll be okay, cyar’ika.”

The bed is his. You thought he brought you to your old bunk, but it’s his. You know it.

“It still smells the same.”

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

Happy Halloween! 

You could hardly believe it. It only took two days and you could already go home. The birth was done, and everything went so smoothly that the doctor was very happy with your condition. You couldn’t wait to finally go home with your son.

You have Sunho in your arms while you go to the apartment. Jaehyun meanwhile took care of Miga and took off her jacket and shoes. "Look, Sunoh, this is your home now." You rock the little boy through the living room and get to the dining table. On it stood flowers, gifts and greetings cards. "That's all from the guys from NCT." Jaehyun suddenly stood behind you and on his hand he had Miga looking surprised at the table. When she saw gifts in general, her eyes always grew big. Most of the time they were for her, but this time she unfortunately had to be disappointed. When you turn to Jaehyun, he looked surprised, because tears rolled down your cheeks. "Babe, are you okay?" He wipes your tears away and looks at you worriedly. But it was only the hormones that completely overwhelmed you. "That's so nice of everyone." You could not stop crying and continue sobbing while your baby slept in your arms.

In the next few days you tried to get used to your new family member. Sunho hardly slept through - of course - and you were constantly busy feeding him and catching up some sleep. In the beginning, Sunho refused to accept your breast. That made you pretty sad and by the switching hormones, you cry constantly because of that. Jaehyun was a bit overstrained. On the one hand, he wanted to give Miga a lot of attention, so that she coped well with the transition to a sibling, but on the other, he also wanted to help you. But in situations like breastfeeding, he was just helpless. So he had moments where you, Sunho and Miga all cried and he just stood in the middle and did not know where to start helping. It was then - thank God for Jaehyun - a midwife for a few days in your home and helped you with the worst problems. Above all, she was able to help you breastfeeding.  It was exhausting, but also harmonious days. Miga accepted her little brother well and also helped with many things. She was a really good sister and as a parent you could only be proud of her.

After just one week in bed, you decide to celebrate Halloween a bit. SM Entertainment hosts legendary celebrations every year. Jaehyun was such a good father and loving husband the last days, so you decided to spend the first night alone with the kids so he can go to the party. But before that you wanted to go for “Trick or Treat” with Miga in the neighbourhood. Even before the birth, you have thought of a costume for you as a family and sewed everything during your pregnancy. The theme was Pokemon: Jaehyun was Ash, you were Misty, Miga went as Pikachu and Sunho went as Togepi. Especially for your son, you gave yourself a lot of trouble with the costume, because after all, he was actually really hatching out of the egg. "You really look like Pikachu." Jaehyun came to you with Sunho in his arms. He carried him a bit through the apartment, since he was being breastfed and he still had to make his little burp. "Pika pika." Miga squealed happily and started to giggle. "Well, I think we're done." You inspect your daughter and check her costume again. She just looked stunning and she also felt very comfortable in the outfit. She begins to jump happily through the apartment.

After you were all done, you went to the neighbours and Miga could get a lot of sweets. Many people loved your costume and found it super funny. Sunho slept all the time, but he still looked cute in his Togepi costume. After you were finished with the neighbors, you drive to the NCT dorm. The boys had also prepared sweets for Miga and no one yet could meet Sunho. They wanted to give you time until you were ready. Jaehyun should then stay in the dorm, to go afterwards to the SM party, and you would go home with your children. You were still a little nervous to get through it all by yourself, but at some point, it must have come. Soon Jaehyun would have to work again and then you were alone with Miga and Sunho. "Trick or Treat." Miga grinned all over his face as Mark opened the door of the dorm. "Hi Miga, come in. Uncle Johnny has a basket full of sweets." Miga stormed in immediately and kept her eyes open for Johnny. You also went to the apartment and look around you. All the boys were in costumes, chilling and listening to music. But when Mark shouted into the room that you were here, all of them suddenly came to you. Meanwhile, Sunho has woken up and looked with his dark eyes to the boys. "Oh is this a mini Jaehyun?" Jungwoo was the first one to hold Sunho. "Well, Jaehyun's mum said he looked the same as a baby. So, who knows." You smile and watch that Sunho doesn’t care too much about this amount of people. "He is so big." Taeil was quite surprised when he picked up the boy. "And heavy." "Was he really inside you?" Mark looked at you with his big doe eyes. You had to laugh and shrug. "Well mother nature is sometimes incredible." "Woahh." Mark kept staring at the boy, then looked at you again and then at the boy again. "But your stomach was not that big, was it?" Poor Mark, he still could not believe it. "Well, in the end he barely had room anymore, his feets were always kicking my ribs ." Actually you wanted to take your son back to you, but Jaehyun was faster. He was so proud of his baby boy that he joined Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong and Haechan in the kitchen, to show them their son too. "And what are you most looking forward to, now after birth?" Yuta grins and takes a sip of his beer. "Honestly, coffee, sushi and wine. I missed this all so much during my pregnancy." But you have to wait a little while for the alcohol, since you are still breastfeeding. "Haha I thought now somehow comes a cheesy answer, like, how to see my baby grow up." Mark started to laugh and you realize that he was already a bit tipsy. You envied Jaehyun a bit that he can stay at the party. You're happy when you finally can celebrate again. 

You stay there for a while. Everyone congratulated you and took pictures of your sweet family costume. But after a while Sunho got restless and you decide to go home with your kids. Jaehyun once again asked you a hundred times if it's really okay for you to go to the party. You assure him that it's okay, even if you wish he would stay with you. Then you say goodbye to everyone and when you were at home you put Miga to bed. The day was so exciting for her that she fell asleep immediately and you were so incredibly thankful for it. You go to bed with Sunho and breastfeed him. After you're done, you look through your Instagram feed and watch all the photos and videos from the SM Halloween party. And then you see a photo of Jaehyun's ex-girlfriend Suji. She wore a tight latex dress and it seems that she went as a sexy policewoman. At that moment you became unwell and you look at your stomach, which was still arched from your pregnancy. You would like to cry again, but then you are looking at your son, who just started to close his eyes. He was so beautiful and perfect, so you'd rather have an ugly belly than not having Sunho in your life. You look at him for a while and were totally fascinated by him. It never got boring. But then you hear how the door opened and your husband quietly entered the bedroom. "Jaehyun, what are you doing here I thought you were at the party?" It was only an hour since you were home. "I know, I know." He went to bed, kissed you and stroked Sunho's little head. "I was there and I could only think of you, Miga and Sunoh. That's why I drove home. I just missed you so much…"

Daddy Jaehyun Masterlist

[queenlokibeth]

I wanted to mention a couple of things about mental health that I think are important.

I'm doing relatively well at the moment. I've managed to go to bed before 2am most days, usually at midnight, and I've gotten 6-7 hours of sleep every night. I've eaten at least 2 full proper meals at reasonable times every day. I haven't turned in any homework late. I have to consciously fight off executive dysfunction but I do manage to win. I'm doing relatively well, which is how I notice just how badly I was doing just a month and a half ago.

What I want to say is that, when you're going through a rough mental health patch (especially if that patch is like a year or more) you might be aware that "sure, yeah, I'm not doing well" but it can also sort of feel like that's just... the way it is.

In December I consciously knew that I was having an awful time, quite probably the deepest hole in terms of mental health in my life, but I had also already been living like that for almost a year, and I transitioned into this hole more or less slowly. So last December I knew that I wasn't feeling or behaving the way that I did a year before that, but it wasn't a drastic change, I eased into that pit. Think about that metaphor about dropping a frog into boiling water and it will jump out, but slowly boil it and it won't notice and die.

I was conscious about the big things: for some reason I physically couldn't get myself to start tasks. I was distracted all the time. My sleeping schedule was something like 4am-10am when I wasn't pulling an all-nighter. I was showering once a week, did laundry every 6 weeks, and lost a lot of weight. I didn't want to do anything and I had no will to go outside. I wanted to read a book but not out of real pursuit of fun, but because I felt like I desperstely needed to catch a break and force myself to do something nice for myself. What I was obviously not conscious of was what was causing all of this.

Being in a pit of terrible mental health feels somehow even worse when you are fully aware that you're completely unhealthy, and you can pinpoint all the things that aren't working right, and you try to do all the correct things to "go back to normal", but you can't, and after a year you don't really remembers what your normal feelings or reactions to things were. In this awful state I was trying to manifest a version of myself who got her shit together and showered regularly and turned homework in on time and did laundry without it taking the same effort as hiking up a mountain, but this version of myself still had the same mental state, numbness, and mental fog, since that's all I knew at the time and I couldn't remember or understand that that's not my default state as a human being. And under that cloud of malfunctioning mental connections and chemicals I was NEVER going to manage to start functioning like a healthy person again.

Why am I pointing out all of this? Because it can be hard to realise how different things can be when you start getting healthier. There are factors of my personality that I hadn't even identified as altered in December.

I'm noticing this now because I did somehow transitioned into recovering extremely quickly. While it took me a few months to fall into a shit state of mental health, and then stayed there for like a year, now in about 3 weeks to a month I flipped my life around and everything is so much... brighter.

I don't mean for this to sound like an ad a la "you can, too, flip your life around!" But as reassurance that getting better is an option, and even a "quick" one, but obviously not without help, and not without PHYSICAL aspecrs. During that month I spent time in warmer weather, seeing sun semi regularly (I had not been outside for longer than 15 minutes at a time every few days in extremely cloudy weather for a few months at that point), I didn't have school so I didn't have to stress about a destroying amount of deadlines, I "recovered" sleep (the first day I slept for 14 hours, then 10 for a few days, and then dropped to 8 consistently), I ate healthy and hearty food, and I had conversations daily with my parents, after having been completely alone for about 7 months of not talking to anyone. During the first 2 weeks I still felt like a mess, the third week was better, and by the end of the month I felt vaguely functional.

By now I'm in no way fully better but Everything Is So Different. Now I'm realising and coming back to the way I always used to behave and feel about things. I find real joy in things and I hadn't even noticed that for a year I had NOT felt joy about ANYTHING I was merely using things to cope! And I hadn't noticed because I could no longer remember that a different feeling beyond "neutral" existed!

I'm excited about going outside now even if it's so so cold, I realised the other day that I needed something from the store and I just... put on my coat and went to the door? And i surprised myself mid step that it was just... that easy. I wanted to go somewhere and I could just... go. I didn't have to psych myself up for 3 days and then end up delaying my departure by 2 hours because that's how long it took me to find the will to put my shoes on.

Anyways I saw a candle and it was only $2 and it smelled really good and I just bought it because I deserve things that make me happy and then I bought some cinnamon flavoured coffee because I WANTED to try it and I also bought this coffee creamer that I saw because suddenly it was easy to just reach into the grocery store fridge and pull it out instead of planning it a week in advance and then overthinking it because do I really need it do I have space in the fridge am I going to finish it or will it expire first only to get overwhelmed and leave the store without it only to immediately regret it and get sad about not getting it once I arrived back to my room. I enjoy drinking my coffee now, I'm not just doing it to stay awake. I can actually get out of bed at the right time even if I'm still a bit tired because the sun is coming up and it looks pretty outside. It snowed yesterday and everyone was out at night playing with it and a stray snowball reached me while I was on my way to get dinner. This poor guy that I'd never seen apologised profusely and it was so funny! There was something about everyone in masks and standing 6 feet apart taking advantage of snowball fights as a way to interact with each other that felt straight out of a Hallmark movie.

Bottomline: at your worst there isn't anything that looks tangibly better, but there is, and you start to realise it afterwards. While you should definitely go to therapy if you can/need to, and that meds can be necessary, there is so much that you can start slowly fixing (with a lot of effort, I know) that will seriously, seeiously help. I know that it might sound like bullshit or like an oversimplification, but it's true and it's stuff that you'll never truly believe will work until you're doing better and you're like "oh shit damn".

Please sleep. Please sleep at night time and have a semi regular sleeping schedule. I know that it sounds like it won't be enough (and true, by itself it probably won't heal you completely but it will sure help a lot). I would always "understand" that sleep was important and "yes mom i know that I need to sleep better" but I never interiorised how DRAMATICALLY sleep affects your entire life. Regular, good, nighttime sleep helps regulate all the hormones and chemicals that we need. If your fucked up sleeping schedule shut down production of serotonin, congratulations now you have all the awful symptoms that come along with lacking an essential component of your functioning. And I know that it's often a terrible vicious cycle of not being able to sleep properly or procrastinating sleep or being unable to just go to bed causing mental health problems which continue to prevent you from being able to fix youe sleep pattern. Please take it from me, someone who a month ago felt like she'd genuinely never be able to function semi properly again, that forcing yourself to fix your sleep is a HUGE MEGA STEP towards fully recovering. I know it now because I can see the contrast, but a month ago I didn't understand it because I was like "well yeah I need to sleep better but what's the point I'm fine it won't change much" yeah well my brain is an asshole and I was not in fact fine but rather completely empty inside and just going the fuck to sleep semi regularly has made me feel like a real person instead of a weird cryptid for the first time in months. Just go the fuck to sleep, PLEASE.

[renee-writer]

Room and Board Chapter 16 To Early!

“Oh no no!” Jamie, who had been packing for his next business trip, hurries in to the kitchen where his wife was. At first he thought she had spilled something. There is a small puddle of liquid under her. Then he sees her face. He quickly puts two and two together. “My waters have broke. It is far to early.” Said calmly before she breaks into tears.

“Eight months is not to bad. Don't panic love. I will just ring..”

“We know nothing! The breaths, the stages, oh bloody hell, her crib isn't even set up yet!”

They planned on a full day, last minute lamaze course when he returned in three days followed by a hospital tour and finishing the nursery. Now..

“Claire, women have been doing this for many a millennia without all that. You will not be alone. Come love, let's get you cleaned up and ring the Abernathy’s.” She is a bit calmed by his calmness. She lets him lead her into their room. He helps her out of her wet pants and into dry ones with a thick napkin to catch the waters. He rings the Abernathy’s and is told to bring her right into the office first. As he is talking to them, he gathers up what he thinks they will need at the hospital, extra clothes, phone chargers, lollys( he kens she can't eat in active labor), tennis balls in a sock for her back( he had done some reading) and Becca's homecoming outfit and some nappies. The carset was already in the car.

“Come love. We need to head to the office.”

“Not hospital?”

“They wish to check you first.” She stands and the first of the many pains to come, grips her. She stops dead and reaches for him. He places the bag down and takes her hands. “Breath with me.” He isn't sure he is doing it right but, it helps steady her and that is all that matters. When it releases her, he hurries them to the car.

“Well, you are in labor. Close to three cms dilation and fifty percent effaced.” Gillian tells her. She had rode out five contractions since the first one and is glad they are doing something.

“So, to hospital?” she asks.

“Yes, I know you are concerned about her being early. But, she is strong and healthy. She has gained weight as you have and, though still will be small, baby Beauchamp should be just fine.”

“Baby Fraser. Rebecca Julia Fraser.” Jamie corrects as he helps his wife through another contraction. “We are married.”

“Sorry. With everything forgot to..” she stops as the pain reaches it's peak. They breath through it.

“Okay. Glad you did. I wouldn’t have found you under Claire Beauchamp.”

“No. For her, you see, to give her a daddy.”

“I see. Congratulations.” She sees more then that. She sees the way Jamie looks at her. Convenience for her but love for him. She prays he isn’t hurt.

“Thank you.”

“Off to hospital. I will be right behind you.”

He is separated from her during check-in. He takes the time to make some phone calls. First to his business partner and Godfather, Murtagh.

“Jamie lad, where are you? The train leaves in less then an hour.”

“I can't come. You know the material better then me. You can do it alone.”

“Why can't you come?”

“My wife is in labor.” Dead silence. He really had buggered thos whole thing up. This is the first time hearing about any of this.

“Your who now?”

“It is a bit complicated. I've no time to give you a full explanation. Ring Jenny. I promise to sit down and explain it all as soon as possible.” He rings off before he can say more and rings his sister.

“Claire is in labor. Murtagh kens but only my wife is in labor. I had no time to fill him in. Will you?”

“Take a breath brother. Aye, I will. Keep us updated. We will be praying.”

“Thank you Jenny.”

“Son of a bitch, this hurts!” Claire cries out as she stops and presses her back against the wall. She and Jamie had been walking for hours. The contractions or' the bloody pains straight from hell' as Claire calls them, have been getting longer and closer together. Her ability to take them with grace is long gone.

“Breath love. It is almost over.”

“I want to pull his cock and balls over his bloody head and down to his arse. Then he may feel what I am.” She declares. He winces at the thought and at the knowledge of the pain she is in.

“I can’t do this anymore. I want to go home. I will come back tomorrow. Okay?” she asks Gillian and Jamie a few hours later.

“Sorry luv. You are almost at seven. It will be over soon.” Gillian sooths. Jamie cringes. He knows the worst is coming.

Bloody f*cking hell!” Her grip on Jamie's hand tightens to the point of pain but he says nothing knowing hers is so much worse.

“No Claire! Use that energy to breath. She and you need oxygen.” Gillian orders. She tries, he he, breathing with her for a few seconds. But, as she reaches the crest and feels like she being torn into pieces, she screams. It is all she can do.

“Good Christ! Can't you give her something?”

“It is far to late. She is to close.”

“Help Jamie! Oh please!” There is nothing he can do but assure her it is almost over.

Transition lasts but twenty minutes, fifteen contractions, right on top of each other. It is the closest they come to experiencing hell on earth. When Gillian says that she can push, they both breath deep sighs of relief.

“Press down as hard as you can. Good. Just like that.” She sits, knees up, her back against Jamie's chest.

“Wait! Oh, how will they know that she is ours? I mean, you know.”

“A band will go on her hand that matches you guys' as soon as she is born. No worries there. Another contraction. Push.”

It turns out to be the easiest part. With her being a wee thing. A few good pushes later, and she is crowning. A few more and she is slipping out.

“Here she comes.” As her body clears her mam's, she has the band placed around her right hand and she is lifted up on to her mam's chest. Her startled brown eyes meet her mam's honey colored ones.

“Oh, it is you. Hi.” Claire says, through her tears as she strokes her hand over her soft black curles and over her strangly pale skin.

“Hello lass. I am your daddy.” An equally choked up Jamie adds.

After a few minutes, in which the afterbirth is delivered, Jamie cuts the cord and she is taken away to be weighted, measured, and bathed. She is returned wrapped up in a pink blanket with a pink cap on her head.

“Four pounds ten ounces. Eighteen inches long. But very healthy.” Gillian announces as Jamie cuddles her.

“Her skin. Will she stay light?”

“No. It takes a few days for black and biracial babies to get their true color.”

“Okay. Small but okay?”

“Yes. You did good mommy.”

“Do you wish to breastfeed her?” a nurse asks after she gets Claire cleaned up and comfortable on a clean bed.

“It is best for her. Yes, let’s try.” She helps her position the baby, shows her how to get her mouth open wide and how to make sure she takes all the nipple and areola. She is soon contentedly sucking. Jamie walks back in from making calls.

“Jenny says congr.. Oh look at her!”

“It is so weird. It feels so weird, in a good way. Though it makes my uterus contract. It will help, they say, us both.”

“I can see that.” He watches with a grin, softly touching her head. “God, she is a beauty.”

“She is. A relief. I can see… but I see her more.”

“It is what I was praying for.” She smiles and rest her head against his shoulder.

“Rebecca Julia Fraser. Mother: Claire Elizabeth Fraser. Father James Mackenzie Fraser. “ She feels out her birth certificate with a huge smile. The protection the Fraser name offers is tremendous. Jamie signs it with pride. She is now a Fraser, protected by a clan almost as auld as Scotland.

[thelifeoftuan]

Home

My residents congratulated me today on surviving a full year as a New Yorker. Haha! Honestly, with the way these past few months have been going, imma chalk just surviving as a win in my book. I survived a fucking pandemic while living in New York City and worked my ass off as a physician when cases were at an all time high. Looking back, could I have predicted how my first year living in New York was going to go? Absolutely not. Haha! But to say the least, I am so happy to call New York City my home, and I look forward to continuing my life here. Of course, as most people may know, my good ol’ home state of Oklahoma has been on the news this past week, because of the fucking stupid ass trump rally that turned out to be one of the most hilarious dumpster fires yet in his presidency. If the K-Pop Stans and TikTok Teens were really behind it, honestly, then the future is so, so bright. Seriously, any time Oklahoma makes it on national news, it’s either because we got hit with a disastrous tornado or it’s for something stupid like fucking dumb ass trump decided to hold his first rally since the pandemic started in Oklahoma, not to mention he chose Tulsa, where the Tulsa Race Riot occurred, the worst incident of racial violence in American history while the country is riled up in the Black Lives Matter movement and social injustices were abound. And to top it all off, the fucker chose June 19th--Juneteenth--of all dates. The bastard, of course after the rational people of the country petitioned his administration to do so, later changed it (to the next day)... but I just cannot fathom how tone deaf and horridly ignorant that orange fucktard is. And if these were conscious decisions made by him or anyone on his staff, that’s even more troubling. Like, if you wanna talk about system failures, this is a good example of many that have stemmed from this trash of an administration and presidency. But either way. Fucking stupid. And of fucking course, it’s Oklahoma, so even despite the calls for this ill-advised event to be cancelled, the state opened its arms wide open, and I could do nothing but sit back and seethe with anger and disgust and horror as the leaders of the state carry on with their complicit “go red” mentality and allowed this bullshit to happen. NOT TO MENTION THE FUCKING STATE IS ONE OF THE STUPID ASS STATES THAT DID NOT ADHERE TO CDC RECOMMENDATIONS AND REOPENED THE ECONOMY AND JUST LET PEOPLE RUN AROUND AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT, AND SURPRISE SURPRISE, IT’S ONE OF THE FUCKING STATES THAT IS SPIKING IN CASES RIGHT NOW. ...I just can’t with Oklahoma, lately. I just cannot. There is so, so much more that I can say about it, but I won’t. My residents asked me what my opinions were about everything that has been going on and what it’s like to have gone through such a big change, spending all of my life in Oklahoma and then up and moving to New York City. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. They asked me if I ever saw myself going back to Oklahoma. And to that, I said “absolutely fucking not.” Even with everything going on in New York, the state being shut down during the pandemic, all of the horrific things I saw at work, the abundance of protests (which is honestly a pro and refreshing outlook on the people of this state as opposed to the ones in Oklahoma), I would still choose my life here in New York City than go back to Oklahoma. I’m really trying not to sound like I’m bashing Oklahoma. Hahaha! I mean, to some degree, I am. But Oklahoma deserves it, honestly. But that’s not what I’m wanting to accomplish with this post, despite Oklahoma’s track record. But to sum it up, I just feel like I didn’t belong there anymore. It’s a tough dichotomy. On one hand, yeah, it’s my home state. All of my family and friends are there. I was born and raised there. My Buddhist roots remain there and it’s a community that helped raise me. I went to school there and did my medical training there. I owe a lot to my life in Oklahoma before I moved. I do still feel like I have a significant connection with Oklahoma and am indebted to it as my home state and the place where I grew up. But I’ve been in New York City for an entire year, now, and I finally feel like my life has started and I am where I am supposed to be right now. Maybe at one point in my life, Oklahoma was home in the truest sense. And to a lot of people, there is something endearing and charming and comfortable with Oklahoma. That’s why all of my family and most of my friends decided to make a life there. So I understand the draw. And I agree. Despite any political and societal shortcomings, Oklahoma does have a general mix of kindhearted people with the typical Southern charm and hospitality that you won’t find up here in the Northeast. And for a while, I did believe that I was going to stay in Oklahoma forever. But that changed. I just didn’t feel like my life was ever going to be what it could be if I had stayed. And I never would have been happy. And looking back on my mentality prior, I really wanted to stay so that I could make other people happy more than anything, and that I had anchored my happiness with the happiness of others. And that’s so Old Tuan, putting other people’s happiness before my own and laying all my cards on the table before bets are even placed. And I vowed not to do that anymore. Once I was honest with myself and finally came out as gay, I knew staying in Oklahoma was not going to cut it for me. I also felt like my career as a pediatrician was not going to reach its potential if I were to stay in Oklahoma. And I also realized that the complacency I was feeling with the familiar things in Oklahoma was what was wearing on me. So I made the decision in 2016 that I was going to do whatever it took to get out of Oklahoma as soon as I finished residency. And I couldn’t be any happier that I landed in New York City, the first big city that I fell in love with. People might not be as nice. Smells might not be as great. There’s a ton of more people here. And honestly, wading through the dating pool here, even as a gay guy, is kinda tough, I am not gonna lie. But still. I love my life in New York City so, so much. I’ve made it almost a full year into my job as a pediatric hospitalist (started end of July). I’m a little more used to the transit system. I’ve developed some quick reflexes to dodge clumsy pigeons and puddles of unidentifiable fluids and weave past slow walkers and crowds. Haven’t driven a car in months. I survived a goddamn pandemic. I participated in my first peaceful protest. The most stable guy in my life here is my curmudgeonly Italian barber who always makes fun of how many grey hairs I have and insists I dye my hair platinum blonde. The doormen of my apartment building know my name now. My favorite boba tea shop knows my usual and has the order punched in the second I step in. I’ve found my favorite pizza place. Jury is still out on my favorite ice cream place, probably because I can’t pick just one. I’ve gotten to see some amazing Broadway shows and art exhibits. Walking around the city is still one of my favorite things to do. I’ve fallen in love with the city lights over and over again. And I finally feel like I belong. I finally feel like this is my home.

And this is still my favorite spot in the entire city. :]

[fyeahwildfire]

Before Among the Dead

Chapter 1

When you were young, you didn’t understand why your father had sent you away. You were taken in by the Shimada Clan. The head of the clan, Lord Shimada took in orphaned children as well as sold children. He made you go through brutal training in order to become one of his most lethal assassins.

He later revealed to that your father, who was a retired assassin, had sold you to him. This news did not sit well with you. You made a silent vow to confront him in the later future.

As time went by, you had befriended a young girl named Harumi, who sought to abandon the clan. One night, Harumi tried to encourage you to leave with her, but you refused and instead chose to stay. You begged her not to leave as you both knew what the punishment would be if they captured her. Not heeding your words, you watched as the only friend you had, climbed over the wall and escaped.

Harumi was later captured and branded as a traitor. You watched as your friend was executed before your eyes. You made silent vow to destroy the Shimada clan for what they had done.

When you were around fourteen, Lord Shimada instructed you to complete your first assassination. Coming out successful, you meet the rest of the clan by the docks.

There, Lord Shimada ordered you to execute a young girl who had also tried to escape. You looked into the girls eyes and only saw your friend Harumi. Her death weighted heavily on you and you hated the clan for what they did. You even swore to avenge her death, even if it meant your own demise. You used a kyoketsu-shoge to slash Lord Shimada’s face. Enraged, he ordered the clan to kill you. You fought and killed your former allies, until you fell into the bay severely wounded.

Shortly after, you recovered and sought out your biological father to ask him why he sold you. You found him surrounded by Shimada ninja assassins. Before they could killed your biological father, you had intervened by using the shadows to blend and kill the Shimada assassins.

Once you dispatched every single assassin, you announced yourself to be his biological accident of a daughter, Isabel. You questioned him and he confessed to selling you to the Shimada clan so that his debt with them could be paid.

He also confessed to being a manwhore and abandoning his other children. With a list of names, you promised to find your other siblings.

Before you left, you gave your father a final promise. That you would never intervene with his fate again. You disown him as your father and renounce your name. No longer named Isabel. You chose a name for yourself. Y/N.

Sometime later, you encounter a tall man with an athletic and muscular build. He had short, light brown hair and had striking light blue-eyes. He introduced himself to be Thomas Black. He had once served in the United States Marine Corps and was now a hunter and weapons dealer to the government.

Upon learning that you were an “orphan”. He took you to meet his wife Victoria and together they decided to take you in.

Not long after, they gain your trust and you confided in them. You told them you were sold to the Shimada clan and faced never ending abused. You even told them you were forced to become an assassin and revealed the scars littering all over your body. From that point on they decided to official adopt you.

Months later, your adoptive parents introduced you to two people Maseo and Tatsu. With both of them having knowledge about the Shimada assassins, your parents hoped the interaction with the three of you would help and ease the transition to a normal life.

After having several “therapy” session with them, Maseo believed the wounds that the Shimada clan inflicted on you, had stained your soul. He did not think you would ever recover.

However, his wife Tatsu believed differently. She stated, ““Everyone has a demon inside of them. The Dao De Jing recognizes the yin and the yang. The opposing forces inside all of us. The darkness. The light. The killer and the hero.”

She offered to train you in a much healthier way, while your parents incorporated schooling and activities, seeing as you were intellectual gifted.

Three years later, you are a junior Stanford student and are in a committed relationship with Ezekiel Reyes.

When your father found out he was displeased and didn’t think Ez was the right guy for you. He had invited him over to dinner as he wanted to know more about Ez and what his plans were for you. Your overprotective adoptive father spent the entire night interrogating Ez until he became uncomfortable.

Despite how dinner ended, Ez still loved you even if you had an overprotective father. In fact, he was not sure if there was anything about you that would make him not love you. He loved you since he first laid eyes on you. He loved you when he realized you were slightly touch starved.

Sure you didn’t exactly tell him about your whole life story, but maybe one day you would. He didn’t pressure you. All he knew was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.  

Shortly after, you found out that your parents had been keeping a huge secret from you. Your father was not only a weapons dealer and hunter, he was a former professional hitman. He was highly respected and feared within the criminal underworld. He even had contacts such as the Mayans and the Sons of Anarchy.

During one of your family hunting trips, you confronted him about it. He revealed he left that life behind long ago, due to him falling in love with Victoria. He didn’t want his past life to interfere with your progress, so he never told you.

With secrets being revealed you told him about your other siblings and your desire to find them. He offered to help and you gave him the list of names.

2 Months later, you are attacked by members of the Triad, they sought revenge as your father denied them weapons. You were forced to defend yourself, so you took down as many of them as possible without getting hit. However, you weren’t alone a mysterious women intervened and helped you.

The women who helped you turned out to be an assassin named Nylah, she confessed to knowing who you were. She congratulated you on being the first successful Shimada assassin to escape their clan alive.

After getting a taste of your mental state, Nylah offered to take you under her wing and told you could learn to control the monster inside of you… if you find an outlet, such as being a vigilante. She proceed to give you a black leather suit along with a bow, arrows, and a sword.

Later, Nylah helped you track down and kill one of the main drug lords in San Francisco.

After this, the two of you tracked down your older half-sister Shado, who was living in a heavily drugged state with a man who kept her so high so he could use her for sex. Disgusted, you shot him with an arrow so he could never do this to another women again.

Saving your older half-sister Shado accelerated your plans, you quickly began your crusade as a vigilante, while helping her recover and become clean, much to Shado’s irritation.

After succeeding in helping Shado past the worst part of her addiction, you and Nylah trained her both mentally and physically to be able to face anything in her life.

After five months, Shado returned to her tribe in Santo Padre leaving you in San Francisco with your parents.

By day you attended Stanford and by night you fought injustice as a vigilante, all while maintaining a relationship with Ez Reyes.

During this time, your father Thomas had managed to locate your younger half-sister Rose, who was living in an orphanage with her older sister Lydia. With Victoria, they meet Rose and Lydia, they couldn’t find it in their hearts to leave either. So they moved forward with the adoption process.

Months later, Victoria had left to pick up Rose and Lydia from the orphanage, while you and your father stayed behind.

Your father had been reading the news about the Angel of Death vigilante, when you expressed on leaving to Santo Padre to visit Shado for holiday break. He was displeased with the idea, seeing as it was tradition to spend time with them and it was going to be Rose and Lydia’s first holiday as a family. With a promise to be in Santo Padre for a few days and return, your father accepted the compromise.

Christmas break, you visited Shado in Santo Padre. You found out she had been dating Ez’s brother Angel, who was part of a motorcycle club named Mayans. She had been so shocked to hear you were dating Ez for nearly a year, you hadn’t spoken of him since she had last seen you.

No matter, she enjoyed having you there even if it was for a couple of days. Aside from visiting your sister, you had other plans to follow up on the disappearance of the missing girls. It turned out their disappearance was linked to a drug cartel called the Salazar Cartel.

With Shado and Ez spending time with Angel you tracked down the missing girls before the party started. However, you weren’t the only one searching for those girls, it seemed the MC had been as well.

Caught in a Mexican-standoff, the MC and cartel guards didn’t expect to see a bunch of black roses falling from the ceiling. One of the guards prayed and told his companions that the Angel of Death was coming for them.

Soon right after, the lights shattered in the room. Chaos ensued after, the MC heard the panicked screams of the fleeing guards and girls co-mingle. One by one, the cartel soldiers were eviscerated.

Bishop, Taza, Riz, Creeper, Gilly, and Tranq saw a rush of movement in the shadows, felt more than seen. They had heard of the vigilante known as the Angel of Death, who warned her victims of their incoming deaths with a single black rose. She showed no mercy towards criminals who preyed on the weak and innocent. She instilled feared within the criminal underworld.

They heard the whistle of your sword coming through the air. Cries and screams followed. The cartel soldiers fired at the shadows and forced the MC to take cover. Taza and Riz took a bullet in the shoulder and leg.

Only one of the cartel soldiers remained, he stood by a nearby window allowing the thin trace of moonlight to hit him. He froze as he looked before him and saw his fallen allies.

Then after a moment, he saw the Angel of Death emerge into the moonlight, the way your shadow coalesced into a panther gliding from the dark to finish off its prey.

Bishop and Creeper watched with horror in their eyes, as the last remaining soldier begged for mercy. They both heard the shing of your sword being unsheathed. They saw your blade slice through his body as if it were barely there. The body fell in two pieces, splattering with blood. They dared not to move as the vigilante approached them, her steps soundless.

What had surprised them was you offered them aid, while helping the girls evacuate.

Before the police arrived the scene, you entered their cargo van and noticed the pale faces of Taza and Riz. You inspected their wounds and noticed the bullets were curare-laced bullets. You pulled out herbs from your utility belt and had Taza and Riz ingest them. You took off right after as you wanted to conceal your identity from them

[ficstogo]

Trans Woman Reader (Request)

Request: What about Ben and trans woman reader?? Like they start dating just before she gets her surgery.- Anon

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Warning: None

Word Count: 528

A/N: Hopefully I do right with this one! I’m not very knowledgeable about this kind of stuff but I try to handle this with care instead of writing something all willy nilly.

It was scary. He was kind about your choices and who you are. You told him right off the bat who you were and of course he was a little surprised but once it sunk in, he accepted you completely. You were surprised he didn’t step away from the first date when you did told him you were trans. He treated you all the same with care and affection.

For some reason you were nervous now. You sat at the outdoor cafe waiting for Ben to arrive before he had to go out and meet with his agent. Your stomach did flips and your heart beated harder and faster when you saw him walk towards you.

“Hey babe.” He said as he pecked you on your cheek and took a seat across from you. “I’m guessing this is something super important. You look all tense.” Even though you guys haven’t dated all that long, he somehow knew all your ticks and patterns as if he’s known you forever and it honestly makes your heart swell.

“Well, uh, it’s about my…transition. I’m getting surgery done next month. “ Ben looks at you with his wide clear blue eyes as a grin sneaks across his face. He stands up from his seat and grabs your face to give you a sweet kiss to your lips. It took you by surprise. You don’t know why you were expecting the worst.

“Congratulations! This is fantastic! We should celebrate!” He exclaims as he sits back across from you.

“You’re not…concerned or…?”

“Well, I mean, yeah, surgery is surgery but it’s not like they’ll be cutting up your brain or your heart that we need to really scare ourselves into preparing.”

“No, I mean, you’re not,” You shrug your shoulders as you try to find the right way to phrase it. “Weirded it out by this whole thing.”

“Why should it matter what I think?” He grabs a hold of your hand with both of his as he looks you in the eye. “You’re doing this for you and for you only. If this is what makes you happy then please, go with it. I want you to be happy…I mean, I care about you. If this is what’s going to make you feel like a whole person, then I’m all for it.” You feel your face heat up at his kind words. He’s always so kind it’s unbelievable. “You’re beautiful no matter what you do or what you look like.”

He really knew how to mess with your heart in the best of ways. “Thanks Bennie…”

“Of course love. Just promise me you do the things you want to do and not because people expect you to.”

“I promise.” You smiled at him. God, never in your life had you liked someone this much.

“Now,” He said as he beated a tune with his hands against the table. “When are you scheduled? I’m gonna make sure I’m free when it happens.”

You laugh. “Are you sure you want to show up? It’ll be the first time you meet my parents.”

“All the more reason to be there.” He said giving you a wink.

[soundofseventeen]

Something Like Fate Pt. 3 (Joshua Hong)

Hello! Ya girl has to leave for work in about an hour, so this is a quick intro. Have a great day everyone! -Erin

Masterlist

“How about one last ramen stop before we head back to Seoul?” Your manager asked, and you nodded, patting your stomach.

“That, sounds like the best idea ever.” You agreed, smiling thinking about the food.

“We haven’t tried that place up there?” She pointed and you smiled, practically skipping towards the restaurant, hearing the laughter of your manager behind you. As you got inside and sat down, looking through the menu, one of the employees came up to your table.

“You came at the perfect time, we just had a big group come in.” He said, and he smiled at you both. “Don’t worry, you were here first. We’ll make sure you get your food. So what can I get you?” You both placed your order, and then once he left you started to talk about the schedule you had once you returned to Seoul. After your food arrived, you took a quick picture to send to your boyfriend, your heart falling a little bit at the lack of conversation between you two recently. The last time you had sent each other messages was a couple days prior.

“You okay?” Your manager asked, and you looked up and nodded, placing a smile on your face.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You said, then looked back at your meal. “Actually, I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You said, getting up and excusing yourself from the table. You walked through the tables, not paying attention to the people sitting at them. In the bathroom, you splashed some water on your face, telling yourself that it’s only because it’s been busy lately on both ends. Nothing was wrong, it’s just the timing is a mess right now. After a few deep breaths, you exited the bathroom, only to run into someone in the hallway.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t… Wait, Y/N?” You looked up and froze to see Joshua, staring wide-eyed at you.

“Jo-? Joshua? Hi?” You said, looking at him confused. “What are you doing here?” You asked, moving the hair from your face.

“I could ask you the same question?” He laughed, then pointed behind him. “Work stuff, you know. Doing some promotions and preparing for a concert.”

“Ah, that would make sense.” You said, smiling a bit. “I’m on break. It wasn’t worth flying all the way home for a couple days.” You explained, and he smiled.

“Really? Well, I hope you are enjoying the break. Maybe you could come check out the concert in a few days. Did you come here with friends?”

“Today’s actually my last day here. I’m just here with my manager. ” You pointed, seeing her on her phone with a mouth full of noodles. “I don’t actually have a lot of friends in Seoul. One of the downsides of commuting.” You joked, and Joshua gave you a look, then let out a laugh. “Oh, I’ll let you… Yeah. It was nice to see you.” You started to walk away, but then you heard your name.

“I’m… I’m sorry you didn’t win last week.” He said, and you shrugged.

“Thanks. I wasn’t really expecting to win anyway. You guys did great, by the way!” You said, officially walking back to your table.

You mostly ate in silence as your manager talked away, you occasionally nodding along and letting out little ‘hm’s and ‘uh-huh’s. Once you paid, and were about to head out, you got stopped by your waiter.

“Oh, I was asked to give you this before you left.” He smiled, handing you a small bag. Confused, you thanked him and left the restaurant with your manager.

You did some final exploring, and then given you had an early flight then next morning, you made your way back to your hotel. You were actually exhausted, so you finished packing up your things and got ready to curl into bed. As you got into your bed, you saw the bag on your table and remembered that it existed. You went and opened it up, seeing some candy they were selling in the restaurant and a note. An eyebrow shot up, and you pulled out the note.

Hey Y/N, I don’t know if you’re interested, but you said something about not having a lot of friends in Seoul, so I thought I could offer up some friendship. Enjoy the rest of your vacation! -Joshua

You smiled at the note, seeing the number scribbled out at the bottom. You pulled out a message and sent him a quick message, just saying it was you and hi. You grinned to yourself again as you got a message back, starting a pretty basic conversation that accidentally kept you up for another 2 hours.

*

“No, okay here’s the trick with it.” Joshua said, taking the transit card from you and swiping it quickly. The light turned green, letting him through. “Okay, now you try.” You gave him a look, and then proceeded to try again, the light not turning on. Joshua just shook his head. “You gotta do one quick motion, otherwise it won’t work. Quick like a cat.” He said, gesturing in the air. You tried one more time, and then the light turned green.

“Oh my god!” You laughed, the door opened and you walked through, Joshua clapping for you. “I did it!”

“Congratulations. I’m 100 years old. Can we go now?” He said, but he had a small smile on his face. You stuck your tongue out at him, and proceeded to walk to the subway. He followed you, and you only had to wait a couple minutes for the subway to come, then you both found seats really quickly.

“So where are we going, exactly?” You asked, and Joshua pulled out his phone.

“It’s this museum in the center of the city. They have this really cool exhibit right now and I thought it would be a cool goodbye gift before you go back home.” He nudged your shoulder, and you shook your head.

“You don’t have to get me a goodbye present. I’m probably going to be back in a couple months.”

“Oh yeah? Well until that is confirmed, you’re getting one. If you come back, you can get me a present.” He smirked, and you stuck your tongue out at him. The ride to the museum wasn’t too long, mostly filled with Joshua pointing out things you passed, saying there were things you had to see when you came back at each stop. Eventually, the subway stopped and Joshua stood up, holding out a hand to help you up.

“Alright, let’s get it.” Joshua said, leading you off the cart. He held onto your hand until the crowd lessened, and you both walked down the street until he stopped in front of a tall, fancy looking building.

“Are you ready? Every museum will be ruined for you after this.” He said, and you rolled your eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re the worst.” You said, walking towards the building. Joshua laughed and followed after you, grabbing the door just before you did and holding it open for you. You thanked him and walked into the lobby, freezing once you stepped inside.

“Joshua I think you have the wrong place.” You said, turning to leave but Joshua was already inside behind you.

“Nope. We’re in the right place.” He grinned and looked around. You raised an eyebrow.

“This is a children’s museum. We’re too big for literally everything in here.”

“That’s not true. Sure, there’s a lot of things we can’t do, but we can still do some things. Now come on!” He said, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the museum. You couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. Suddenly he stopped and pointed into one wing.

“See? We can do that!” He said, walking in, you following him.

“What is this? A coloring room?” You asked, letting out a small laugh at the simplicity of all this.

“Yes. Now come here, do you want Pikachu or… this… gremlin… looking thing…” He gave the second page a weird look, causing you to shake your head as you sat down next to him.

“Give me the gremlin.” You laughed, holding out a hand. Joshua looked at it for a second longer, then gave it to you. You both sat and colored, and just had random small talk. Mostly involving either of you completely dragging the others coloring abilities.

The entire day was spent this way, walking around this museum trying whatever activities that people your age and size could do. You had to admit he made you laugh way too much throughout the day, whether from something actually funny or he was just embarrassing enough to make you question why you were in public with him. You ended the day with ice cream, which Joshua claimed was the only way to end a day like this.

“So, you excited to go home?” He asked, and you nodded, a mouth full of ice cream.

“Very much.” You finally said. “I’m so excited to see my family again. It’s been too long since I’ve seen them in person.” Joshua smirked at you and elbowed your side.

“And I bet you’re pretty excited to see that boy of yours too.” You sighed and looked at your ice cream.

“Yeah…”

“Wait, what’s wrong?” He asked, suddenly looking concerned.

“It’s nothing. It’s really nothing. It’s just…” You looked around as you walked, very aware that Joshua was watching you. “Things have been kind of… weird? Like we don’t talk as much as we used to? I’m really hoping it’s just the distance thing. Like when I get back things will get back to normal.”

“I’m sure they will. It’s hard to do long-distance. I have a feeling once you see each other again, everything will go back to normal.” Joshua said, patting your back.

“I hope so…” You muttered, suddenly feeling down.

“Listen, it’s going to be fine. It’s all going to work out for the best.” He said, giving you a smile. “We are now at our final stop, your hotel.”

“Thanks for the goodbye present.” You said, reaching your foot to tap his leg. He repeated the action back to you.

“No problem. You just gotta let me know when you’re back.” He said, starting to walk away. “Have a safe flight.”

“I don’t really have control of that.” You called back, and he turned around and shrugged.

“Fine, then die I guess.” He said, giving you a look and then smiling as you stuck your tongue out at him.

[fuafuakiss]

52- Shane?

I am assuming this meant to say Shance.

52-: “You’re my Omega, and mine alone.”

They all knew it would happen eventually. Or at least Lance did.

Clearly, being an omega came with both benefits and risks. Until that moment Lance had been lucky enough to mainly experience the positives – a supportive family who held him when he cried, kick-ass friends who would defend his honor in a fight, and a caring alpha boyfriend who hated traditional submissive omega roles. Sure, he’d had the usual street harassment, sexist stereotypes, and leering looks aimed at him, but he’d escaped the worst of what he knew happened to omegas around the world.

So when the Galra used his biology against him, Lance was thoroughly unprepared to fight back.

The team had split up once they arrived at the abandoned Galran base, everyone taking a different level while Pidge stayed central to hack into their database. Lance had taken the top which was more like a series of interconnected catwalks than a floor. As a sniper, he was both familiar with heights and would be ready to provide backup if needed for Shiro who was just below him.

“Still not seeing anything, guys,” Lance moaned into his headset. “Are we sure this place wasn’t just like built, but then they ran out of budget and never moved in? Or maybe it wasn’t up to code. Black mold? Asbestos? Space cockroaches?”

“Do they have exterminators in space?” Hunk whispered, worriedly. “Can we call one? I can definitely see this level being infested.”

“Probably just zombies creeping up behind you to eat your brains,” Pidge chimed in happily, making Hunk gasp in fear.

Lance chuckled as Shiro scolded them. His eyes scanned the shadows around him, his bayard raised and at the ready as he strolled along past random pipes and wires.

Switching to a private line, Lance haled his boyfriend. “So, Shiro, if there really are space zombies, will you be the knight in shining armor to save me?”

Lance could practically see Shiro shaking his head as he sighed. “Concentrate, kitten. I’d rather not have to save you if you could fight them off yourself.”

“But it’s more fun when I get to be the beautiful damsel in distress,” Lance whined with a smile, pausing to lean on the railing to wait for Shiro to catch up. Because Shiro had to check additional hallways and doorways as they went along, Lance would often get ahead and have to wait for the alpha to catch up, but teasing Shiro always made the time pass more quickly.

“Well, you’re always beautiful, so we’ll just have to work on the distress, huh?” he heard Shiro chuckle through the line. “Or maybe you’d like to play up the damsel bit?”

“Mmm…” Lance hummed, his grin turning into a smirk as his voice dropped to a purr. “Are you asking me to wear that skirt again, Shiro? I’ll have to work on getting that slick stain out first.”

Shiro swore, letting out a strangled groan. “And this is why I can’t talk to you during missions. I’m shutting this down now before you start getting out of hand.”

Lance just giggled and gave a smooch as he switched back to the main line. The team’s chatter once again filled his ears as he deactivated his bayard. Placing his forearms on the railing, he tiredly rested his head on his arms, patiently waiting for Shiro to round the last corner.

Just as he caught sight of the black paladin’s armor, he heard and felt something drop down behind him. Lance immediately whipped around, raising his bayard in defense, but only got about half way before he felt a hand clamp down on the back of his neck.

As it squeezed, Lance’s heart filled with dread. His limbs became heavy and limp while his eyelids drooped, and his mind shut down. He was being scruffed, put into the ultimate state of submission for an omega where the body was forced into a state of complete relaxation and compliance.

He barely felt his bayard slip out of his hand, but he had just enough strength left to kick it as hard as he could towards the edge of the catwalk. He heard the distant clatter as it hit the floor below and knew that Shiro would at least know something was wrong.

[As his vision faded out, Lance could only hope his white knight would save him. ]

xXx

Lance felt the world come back slowly. His mind protested being awake, wanting to escape the uncomfortable feeling of cold metal on his back and the stench of posturing alphas in the air. But with his returning consciousness also came a sense of danger, a reminder that he had been captured and was now probably in a cell on some Galra ship halfway to Zarkon.

Finally, he opened his eyes, blinking in the harsh light for a moment before things came into focus, and his fears were confirmed. He was locked down in some nondescript room – three purple-tinged walls and a glowing purple forcefield to keep him in. They really needed to hire a new interior designer.

Slowly sitting up to rest his back against the wall, Lance’s head swam. Like adrenalin, when the hormones released by the scruffing left his system, he was left weak, tired, and dizzy. The fuzzy cotton that had filled his mind had been replaced by an echoey chamber-like feeling, his thoughts bouncing around like birds without a place to rest.

As he shifted, Lance felt something odd on the back of his neck. He brought his fingers up to the spot and found an oddly metallic sticker-like rectangle attached there. It was completely smooth but seemed too hard to be plastic. The edges almost seamlessly transitioned from metal to flesh, and Lance couldn’t make it budge when he tried to pick and scrape at it.

Was it a brand? Some sort of barcode? Or maybe like an insta-kill switch…

Lance didn’t have long to wonder as footsteps came echoing down the hall. As they got louder, the smell of alpha got stronger as well. Whoever was walking towards him was the head honcho on this ship, and he clearly liked to make that very obvious.

When two guards and a small, grumpy looking Galra stopped outside his cell, Lance wasn’t surprised. Lance knew the amount of pheromones this guy was pumping out was just a sign of insecurity. He’d also come across enough of these types on Earth to know that that feeling of incompetence meant they were often hot-headed and quick to attack – a possible advantage in battle.

Wow, Shiro was definitely beginning to rub off on him.

“Omega,” the Galra barked, his body straight and at attention.

Lance just rolled his eyes, giving him an unimpressed look. “Wow. You can smell. Congratulations.”

The alpha growled, his eyebrows drawing down in a scowl. “Know your place, omega. Or you will learn it very swiftly.”

“My place? Oh shoot. I thought it was back with Voltron, but I have a feeling you guys might have a different opinion on that,” Lance replied sarcastically, picking at his nails in false boredom. In reality, his body was tense, waiting for that moment he would cross the line and discover just how far he could push this guy.

Out of the corner of his eye, Lance saw one of the guards hand the leader something small and black. Just as Lance glanced up, a wave of pain ripped through his neck and flashed down his body, searing his limbs with white hot agony. A scream shredded his throat as he felt his body set on fire, every nerve raw and boiling.

It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to leave him reeling, his once scattered thoughts buzzing in his head, his limbs shaking, and his breath heavy pants. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to even twitch if it meant ever being in that type of pain again. Quiznack, he wasn’t going to make it through this.

“Do you understand now?” the leader spit at him, the sound harsh and grating in his throbbing ears. Or maybe it was just his whole body pulsing in echoed pain.

From where Lance had unconsciously slumped to the side in relief after being released from the agony, he saw the Galra raise his hand again. Immediately, Lance forced his mouth open, his vocal chords desperately working as he managed to mumble out a ‘yes.’

Lance could see the commander lower his arm again, a reluctant relief seeping through his body. He was so weak.

One of the background Galra finally spoke up. “That device on your neck was designed by our resident druids just for you. It takes advantage of the unique omega structure of your scent glands to administer whatever sensation we want – pain, fear, arousal, submission. Anything your body can feel, we can make a reality,” the Galra explained, a smug satisfaction in his voice.

Lance, on the other hand, could feel horror slowly taking over. He thought he was weak now? These sadists could literally make him feel however they wanted, and from the feeling of that little demonstration, he would have no way to fight it, the sensations powerful and overwhelming…

“The druids discovered that the specific hormones that run an omega’s body are stimulated in a certain way, the omega will be prompted to respond. Unlike betas and alphas, omegas accept these signals without a fight or any sort of backlash.”

Lance could see him walk to the biometric scanner to lower the forcefield. For a moment, Lance thought of trying to run, fighting back, proving he wasn’t to be messed with as a paladin of Voltron, but if this dickbag’s words were true, he wouldn’t get far. Would probably be better to just lay low and wait for an opportunity to remove the device or steal the remote.

Lance kept his eyes trained on the ground, allowing his fear to drive his reactions but not take over his body. Commander Assbucket crouched down in front of him with a cocky grin. “That’s right. Your sass won’t get you anywhere here. About time you wild omegas learned how to act. You’re only purpose is to look pretty and suck up our spunk.” The douche dick laughed. “What do you think about that?”

Before Lance even got a chance to open his mouth, the Galra had pushed a button on the remote. The next second, Lance’s mind was once again falling into that submissive fog of being scruffed but this time without the heavy exhaustion. It was more like he was drunk, his body light and floaty to go with the openness in his brain. When he moved his hand to his head, it felt like everything was moving in slow motion, syrupy and smooth.

From what felt like both far away and right beside him, an alphas voice requested his attention. Lance’s head swiveled towards the noise as his mouth broke out into a dreamy smile. The alpha grinned back, his scent thick in Lance’s nostrils. “Now you’ll repeat after me: omegas are stupid fuckholes meant for alphas to enjoy.”

“Omegas are stupid fuckholes meant for alphas to enjoy,” Lance happily slurred.

“And I am the biggest whore of them all.”

“And I am the biggest whore of them all.”

xXx

By the time they had finally tracked down Lance’s location, Shiro was ready to explode. His inner alpha was raging at the loss of its omega, its intended mate, the man that they loved. He should have paid attention better, not let himself get distracted, known Lance’s radio silence was trouble, and found the Galra far sooner. It was his duty to protect Lance, and he’d failed.

As they flew towards the target, the communicator was silent. Everyone was on edge, and Shiro couldn’t blame them. Their omega was the one to keep things light, cracking a joke or starting a play-fight to keep people out of their heads. Without him, they were serious to the point of fragility. One word could be the catalyst to cause them all to fall apart.

Shiro’s human hand twitched on the controls when the Galra ship came into sight. He was itching to slam down on the throttle, to race forward and take down their enemies in a wave of lasers before they even knew what to think. But that could get Lance killed, and so he had to be patient and rely on stealth like they had planned.

When they were finally close enough, Shiro broke the silence. “Allura and Hunk break off. Keith with me. Pidge, stay back until we’ve engaged.” There was a murmur of agreement as they all took their places.

It was time to save his omega.

xXx

Lance wasn’t sure how long he floated. He was only aware of time passing when an alpha gave him a command. In between, he’d let his mind drift away just enough to lose perception but not too far to lose awareness of the alphas.

He didn’t particularly remember what he had been told to do. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like concentrating that hard on pulling the memories to the surface. He knew he was sitting at the foot of the head alpha, his head resting on the alpha’s knees as the Galra slowly pet Lance’s hair. Vaguely, Lance felt the press of a silky material wrapping his body from his thighs to just below his chest as well as the cool feel of leather around his throat, but he didn’t give it more than a passing thought. He was simply content to sit there, look pretty, and do as the alphas commanded.

It wasn’t to last, though, as an alarm suddenly shattered the silence they’d wrapped themselves in. The alpha above him tensed, the hands in his hair tightening and pulling on their hold as he began barking orders. Lance was largely ignored, so he let himself drift off once more.

But when the doors at the other end of the room burst open, the head alpha leapt to his feet, forcefully shoving Lance to the side where his head smacked against the ground. A flash of pain broke through the fog, clearing his mind just slightly as his instincts warned of danger.

The jolt was just enough to bring Lance to the surface of awareness. Without moving from where he’d fallen, he glanced around in a daze, catching sight of what appeared to be a battle raging at the other end of the hall between the head alpha and another unfamiliar one. The guards seemed preoccupied fighting someone else, but Lance couldn’t quite see from his prone position on the floor. It didn’t matter, though, as the two alphas kept his attention. The new alpha was dressed in black and white armor with a mechanical attachment for an arm that seemed to double as a sword. The fighting was fierce, but the other alpha was clearly winning.

He seemed mad, his fists flying with a furious desperation as he bared his teeth in a show of aggression. His entire body was coiled tight like a spring ready to unleash his rage on his opponent in an awe-inspiring display of power and domination. There was no way the head alpha would be winning this fight.

“Lance!” the unknown alpha shouted, drawing the omega’s eyes. “Are you okay? Please get up!”

Was he supposed to obey this alpha? He didn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t. He was meant to obey all alpha commands, no questions asked.

So Lance raised his body off the ground to sit cross-legged on the floor, staring at the two alphas locked together in battle as he waited for another order. The head alpha snarled at his action, but Lance remained passive. A growl wasn’t a command.

Lance watched and waited as the other alpha beat the leader bloody. Finally, the man in the white armor held his glowing arm to the head alpha’s throat, declaring his victory and demanding the commander submit.

Instead, the fallen leader spit at the alpha on top of him. “Your paladin is under our control now. We give him orders, he obeys like a perfect omega slut–”

He broke off as the fighter whipped his fist across the Galra’s face and demanded in an enraged voice, “What did you do?!”

Instead of responding, the commander smiled and raised his voice to shout at Lance:

“Omega, do not listen to this alpha! I am the only one you will obey. And you will kill yourself!”

Lance barely had time to process the words when, without thinking, his hands came to pull the leather collar around his throat tight enough to cut off the flow of air into his body. A metal lock clicked into place, unable to be loosened even if he tried. It hurt, his neck feeling like a molding fruit being crushed in a fist, but he simply covered the collar with his hands to keep it protected. It was now his duty to die.

Even if a small part of his chest pulsed in pain. It was a different kind of hurt from the intense pressure around his neck, but it almost felt worse. Like his heart was rebelling against him.

“No!” the other alpha shouted desperately, catching Lance’s attention. The man had abandoned the leader and was running towards him. “Stop! Lance, stop!”

Lance watched, spots flashing across his vision, as the guy collapsed to his knees in front of Lance. The alpha raised his hands, seeming to hesitate, reluctant or unsure of where to touch him but soon had him around the wrists, gently yet firmly removing his hands to inspect the leather. 

“Keith!” he yelled without looking towards the other fighter. “I need your dagger right now!”

Some response, but Lance couldn’t hear it over the pounding of blood in his ears. He only saw a flash of something flying towards them and then the man had released one of his wrists to pick up the knife. 

A dull fear flashed through Lance’s body. He began fighting, his free arm pushing, slapping, and punching the man as he attempted to yank his other arm free. 

“Lance, kitten, whatever they did to you, you can fight it,” the man spoke, his eyes pleading but soft as he tried to subdue and soothe the omega. “You need to breathe. You need to live! For me, for us, for the team. Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Coran, Allura, your family. Everyone needs you to be around.”

The eyes were searching his face, but Lance didn’t stop. On the outside, he was one-minded, only concerned with getting away from the man threatening to stop him. None of that mattered. He would obey the leader over any other alpha.

Yet, the ache in his heart grew even worse. Tears started dripping down his face, but he didn’t know why. It had to be the pain, the pain, the pain, the pain…

When the alpha saw his tears, his expression became hard and angry. “Fight it! Damnit! You’re so strong! And you will not listen to that bastard! You’re my omega and mine alone!” he yelled, surging forward to claim Lance’s lips in a fierce kiss.

As soon as their mouths met, Lance shuddered at the extreme pain in his chest. The touch of the man’s lips against his own was warm and pleasurable, but his heart was going to burst from emotions he was desperately trying to push back down. He tried to pull away, to escape the agony of the onslaught of sensations, but the alpha held him tightly in place with a hand to the back of Lance’s head, a clatter as the dagger was dropped to the ground.

Lance could feel the man’s inner alpha taking over. The scent of alpha was hard, possessive, and dominant, worming its way into Lance’s mind even without breathing to send things spinning once again. He couldn’t remember why he had been fighting against this, only that there was pain, and there was the alpha. And he knew if he gave into the alpha, the pain would go away.

So he didn’t fight it any longer. His body relaxed as he let the alpha’s presence sweep him away, warm and pleasant in his submission. 

Unlike before, the sensation pulled his mind back from the fog and into an awareness of himself and his surroundings for just a moment. He remembered who he was, why he was here, and finally that he was about to pass out from lack of oxygen.

He grabbed the hilt of of the forgotten dagger and held it up to his neck. With what little strength he had left, he slid it under his collar and yanked it away, slicing the leather in two. As soon as it fell away, Lance was gasping, coughing, and choking to bring air into his lungs.

Immediately, Shiro snapped out of his alpha craze and pulled back with wide eyes to search Lance’s face. “Kitten?” he whispered hopefully.

Lance nodded, smiling wide, the tears still trickling down his face. His voice was ragged and scratchy. “Did I make a good damsel in distress then?”

Shiro couldn’t help but smile back as relieved tears rolled out of his eyes. “The best.”

[ibroughtthisonmyselfpixels]

Episode 12 Replies

Primarily from the Discord Group this time

@tosimornottosim​ replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Good morning, Lyr– um… is that a slice of pear pie?”...”

LYRA'S MY BEST FRIEND, LISA

Lyra: I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Felicity / Percy / Lilith / Cornelia so much.

@cafesimming​​ replied to your photoset “Ginerva: “Woo hoo! Spaghetti! Finally, something with a little kick to...”

"blushes - not that you can tell" oh my GOD

let’s face it when you’ve perpetually got Simple Life Blush 2 or 6 or 8 or 9 on it’s really not easy to tell the difference between a flat expression and genuine embarrassment, especially when you have trouble telling expressions anyway

@jackssims​ replied to your photoset “Lyra: “I’m gonna… be in the hospital the next few days, starting this...”

It's okay Felicity congratulations are in order here

Felicity: y-yeah but it just sounds forced comi- coming - coming out of my mouth... you say it when you get A+ exam results, not when you d-do something that, that most trans people want to do anyway to s...survive?

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

IVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOREVER BUT IM SO PROUD

LYRA DID NOTHING WRONG

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Like I said though, this does mean I’m gonna be outta...”

I BELIEVE IN YOU LOR

LORELEI DID NOTHING WRONG

cafesimming replied to your photoset “Ginerva: “Crystal, crystal, in the ball: show me my future with Lorelei, y’all.”

CRYSTAL CRYSTAL IN THE BALL SHOW ME MY FUTURE WITH LORELEI Y A L L

c҉r̀y̸st̛a̧l̶ çry̶s̢t͜al ̶i͟n th̵e̵ b͏all̀ s͎̠̼̭̥̞̖h̯̟̱o̺w̳͘ ̖ḿ͉̤̬̯͍̣e͍͈̪̻̭ ̰̗̲̩m̛̥̟y̜̘̣͎͈͈͍ ͇̤͠f҉̜̻̗u̦̩͓̘͔ṭ̷u͇̙̝̗̗̼r̦̪̤͟e ̪̬̬̹ẉ̯̭̣̣̠i̝̣̟t̜̩̰̝̤ͅh ̩̠͝L̹̭͚̬̞̩o̭͉̜̭͉r҉̗̣̭̻̗̗̭e̠l̢̙̙e̦̲̜̪i̱̥̻̯̭̬̹͝... 

@sevenleafsimblr​ replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Nnnnn… what does it- do you think it means? Do you, do you...”

geez ginerva thats ominous

tosimornottosim replied to the same:

that's creepy as fuck

y̖ͤ̊͆̓͐̓̏'͍͋̚a̹̺̺̙͒ͩ̇l͍̬̞̟͈̺ͧ̄͂ͣl͚̪̹͛͒̕

jackssims replied to your photoset “Lyra: “I’m gonna guess that’s not one of those ‘bad ways of telling...”

Yikes

Vid: I didn’t know Felicity saw a Hawthorne

I think he meant was a Hawthorne but honestly that could apply either way

I should also note that cafesimming left a like spree and stopped for a few hours just at the point where Lavandar told her fortune, which made me think that it was so ominous that they had to check their house for cocoons

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lyra: “But seriously… thank you. Not just Percy - all of you.”...”

Lethe: *sees Lyra leaving* it's free real estate

ASDLJGKLADLJKJSDG

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Percy: “Lyra… shit. You’ve really caught me out on this one. I’ve been...”

Amid: Rude, lass

I’m sorry, but bubblegum pop just isn’t Lyra’s kind of music! ...I don’t know what kind of music she likes, but I know bubblegum pop ain’t it

sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “Ginerva: “Hey, Lyra. ‘fore you go, can I ask you something? It’s about...”

ginerva.............

tosimornottosim replied to the same: 

eyeballs emoji

Does anyone know if Rosey is still at camp, by the way? We haven’t heard from them for weeks. Or certainly I haven’t.

cafesimming replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Do you… have everything? I know you said you did before, but...”

im so excited for lyra but i am also Worried abt angsty possibilities here but then i always assume the worst so

As I said last time this came up, I have absolutely no intentions of ruining Lyra’s surgery or making things bad for her wrt the transition. Probably the worst that will happen is she pushes herself to recover too fast to get back as soon as possible, but I don’t know what would set that off aside from... well, we’ll see. After all, no angst about Lyra being gone doesn’t preclude the possibility of Lethe still being active, as Vid so memetically pointed out...

sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “Lorelei: *sniffles*  Lyra: “Oh, Lorelei. C’mere.”  Lorelei: *falls...”

😭😭😭😭😭

Lorelei and Lyra are Goals TBH, in their friendship if not so much in their mood

cafesimming replied to your photoset “*honk* *hoooonk* Lyra: “Well… that’d be my taxi. I’d better-”...”

what a sweetheart

See? Goals. They would do anything for each other, no matter what selfish dreams try to say about it

Which reminds me: you guys have already seen Lyra’s parents, so I should probably show you the Kesslers at some point too. Who would like to see that?

tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Well… this is it. No turning back now, even if I wanted to. ...”

GOOD LUCK LYRA! Stay safe! Eat soup! Anesthesia is a son of a bitch to come out of for the whole next day, soup is good to eat when your stomach is in revolt. Sleep it off! Take care of yourself! We all love you!

<3

[starshineskyandthepowerofrock]

Evening Announcements

Part 10 of Starshine, Sky, and the Power of Rock.

The dreams are getting worse, somehow. This one gets me so bad I hit my head trying to escape my casket. I make it halfway out before reality catches up with me and I sink to the floor, trying to calm down some.

"Is this going to be a nightly thing with you?" a voice hisses from the other side of the room. Gossamer Glade, face lined in moonlight, is sitting up in her own bed. Her lacy eye mask is pushed up to reveal big green eyes that glare at me with pure fury.

I feel around on the nightstand for my CD player. "Can you at least wait 'til I'm wearing a bra before you start getting on my ass?"

Gossamer throws herself back on one of her many silk pillows, her arms above her head in the most dramatic pose I've ever seen. "I don't appreciate having my internal clock thrown off because you can't handle bad dreams. Do you realize I've been getting tired while the sun is up? My body thinks it's nighttime while I'm at school. You're confusing my body and if this keeps up it'll affect my grades."

Ignore her. Ignore her. I rummage through my treasure trove for the right CD. Blood in the Ducts? No he introduced me to that one. Chains on Bone? No he whistled track four all the time...

"But I imagine you're not one to care about grades, are you, vampire?" Gossamer says. "My father says you're doing very poorly in his class."

I could say something right now but... No, keep looking, keep looking... Grave's Dust... Black Morning... No Answers —  What?

The clear jewel case shakes in my hand. A once-blank CD stares back at me, the name No Answers scrawled in marker on plain white in my handwriting. We made this song together. We made a lot of songs together. They'd almost joined the bonfire I'd built for my Band of Darkness uniform but I have this thing about destroying art. Plus I hear the fumes from doing that are dangerous and I didn't need any of the animals near me getting hurt. So I'd settled for leaving them all at home. At least I thought it was all of them.

"This has been the worst month of my life. How am I supposed to spend four years living like this?" Gossamer whines into her pillow.

"The feeling's mutual," I say, finally picking a CD and sliding my earbuds in place.

💙💙💙

Assigned seats make sense in this place. I normally hate them but I get it here. Bands should sit together so all the teachers have, well, sat us together. Mr. Glade basically did this too. Almost.

Alright so first day of the first "Academic Week" was already gonna be a bummer because we get no music classes. Not to mention I wasn't thrilled to meet the guy halfway responsible for the demon spawn I've been forced to room with. But then I finally walked into his class, only to find out my seat was nowhere near anyone else's in my band. I didn't feel like starting a conversation with him so I waited for everyone else to sit and found the only empty seat was all the way in the back. And it had my name on it.

I went up to his desk. "Mr. Glade?"

"Yes?" he asked, his back turned to me.

"I can't sit back there."

He chuckled. "What makes you say that?" he asked, then turned around. His smile snapped into a scowl the moment he'd realized who he was talking to.

"I, uh, have albinism," I said. "It makes my vision real bad. I'm supposed to sit near the front in all my classes-"

"Oh, you're 'supposed to,' are you?"

Instincts told me to stop but I kept going. "Yeah, I put it in my application and they said there'd be accomoda-"

"If your sight is so bad, why don't you wear glasses?"

"I-I'm wearing contacts but they don't fix everythi-"

"Are you giving me attitude?"

"No, I just-"

Gossamer stood up. "Could you stop?"

That's when the whispers came. Eyes on me from the whole class. I turned to Star but she wasn't about to argue with a teacher. So I've been sitting back here ever since and I haven't been able to read a single thing on the board. I also don't have a large-print textbook in here like I'm supposed to. And I'm a slow note-taker so I've only been getting bits and pieces of his rapid fire lectures down. And now I can't make out the quiz right in front of me.

No way he didn't know what he was doing. I'm having a hard time believing kids with 20/20 vision could read this, the print's so small. My eyes dart up for a moment (last time I lifted my head I got accused of cheating) and I look around. Kids are squinting some. A few have to bring the paper closer. But they work through it. At least they can read this.  And of course there's no multiple choice questions because I could have at least guessed on that.

I bring my head closer and closer to the desk until the tip of my nose touches the paper. The words blend together in a mass of spotty black. I still can't tell where one letter ends and the next begins. Alright this is hopeless.

For question one I put, "I'd answer if I knew what this said." For the rest I put, "See question one." I'll get a zero and he'll say it's my fault but we'll both know what's true.

💙💙💙

For the past couple weeks I've been hearing snippets of whispered conversation from the older kids. "Poor First Years." "They don't know what's coming." "Glad that's behind me." "Aw, I thought it was cool!"

I try to listen in every time, but of course they quiet down and scurry away when they notice the vampire's near them. There's been a spike in these whispers lately. Even Star let something slip.

"Dinner can't come soon enough," I'd told her during transition today.

She'd giggled and said, "Honestly, I'm kinda dreading it."

"Why's that?"

She panicked. "Um, no reason!" Then she changed the subject to how to get rid of my dark circles.

Now I can't focus on dinner at all because the older kids keep rubbernecking every First Year that walks by their tables. Odds are I won't get anything out of Star but it's worth a shot.

"Something happening tonight?" I ask her.

Crescent chimes in with, "Yeah, kids keep talking about the First Years. What's going on?"

Star picks at her smoked salmon. "What? What? What are you talking about?" she asks, not looking at either of us.

"I'll take that as a yes," I say.

Crescent leans in. "Spill!"

Before Star can answer a hush falls over the room and is soon replaced by a chorus of "Your Majesty"s. Kids left and right bow and curtsy as Queen Sunshine enters. She nods her head of bright yellow braids, holding a microphone and making her way to the cleared-out center of the room. Following her is a guy holding what looks like a big, old-looking box of some kind. Sunshine taps the mic and clears her throat to make sure everyone's listening. We are.

"Good evening, students," she says.

"Good evening, Your Majesty," everyone says in unison. It's a big change from the usual scattered mumbles I've seen most principals get after saying that.

Sunshine continues. "You may have heard from whispers around, but tonight is a very important night for our First Years."

Everyone was listening before but now the First Years perk up even more. Even Pearl looks up from her lunch and I haven't seen her act like she knows anyone's there since the night I found out her name.

"Now, First Years, I wouldn't be surprised if you were wondering: just how are you supposed to lug around and care for what can be very cumbersome instruments? When the Band of Darkness can attack at any moment, how are you supposed to be ready in time? Even seasoned members of the Band of Light had been wondering the same thing for years, until the innovators in magical technology behind the Soul Key created this." She gestures to the box, which the guy holds up for everyone to see.

Kids are standing, stretching, some are putting their feet on their chairs to get a better look. A merboy nearby says, "That's what this is about!" to his buddy. A catgirl whispers to her band, "I don't see what people are freaking out over, this is awesome!" Crescent bounces in her seat, squealing to herself. So I guess I'm the only one who doesn't know what I'm looking at.

Sunshine smiles. "Yes, yes, I'm sure all of you have been anxious for this moment, and I won't waste your time with formalities." The formalities would have been appreciated if they meant I knew what she's talking about. "Star," Sunshine calls.

Star immediately stands at attention. "Yes, Mama."

"Would you like to demonstrate?" Sunshine asks.

Star barely holds back a squeal as she makes her way to her mother. She unhooks her Soul Key from her skirt and raises it high for everyone to see. Then she slides the key into what I guess is a lock on the box and cranks it a few times. So it's a music box.

The only sound in the room is the tune coming from this box. No one can take their eyes off it, including me because I wanna know why everyone else is so invested.

Then the top of the box cracks open, a brilliant hot pink light spilling out. Star excitedly reaches in and pulls out a midnight blue cassette player accented with pale pink and purple gems and stars. She holds it up and the whole room cheers.

"Congratulations, Star," Sunshine says. "You're one step further in your journey to being a rock star."

Star hugs her mother then happily accepts praise all the way back to her seat, waving, curtsying, blowing kisses and more. I can't imagine what that feels like. Once she's next to me again and Sunshine starts calling bands up, Crescent and I both want a better look at her new cassette player.

"Ohmigoodness," Crescent whispers as more kids get their own sparkly music players. "The Heir to Light's Soul Player is right in front of me! They're gonna put this in a museum one day!"

"What's a Soul Player?" I ask.

Star explains, "Its a magical device that provides you with the instrument you need to fight the Band of Darkness whenever you need." A wide grin lights up her face. "And it gives you a super cute outfit to go with it! I wonder what you guys' will look like." She gasps. "I wonder what mine will look like!" She holds the Soul Player to her chest, probably seeing something real frilly in her mind's eye. "But yeah, you basically need one if you want to call yourself a rock star around here."

Interesting. That sounds like it'd shave off a lot of valuable time getting ready to battle. No wonder the Band of Light was there so fast to save Star and me after we got ourselves in trouble.

Watching kids get their own Soul Players I see they don't only come as cassette players. They can be MP3 players, CD players, a few kids even get small boomboxes, which don't seem very practical. They also come in a rainbow of pastels and sparkles and cute shapes like hearts and stuff. They sure love form over function here, and back home come think of it, but what can you expect from kingdoms run by performers?

Soon it's the rest of our band's turn. Too many eyes bore into me as we make our way up. Gossamer shoves past me and uses her gilded Soul Key first. She pulls out a yellow and green MP3 player from a burst of green light then goes back to sit with her sisters without a word to any of us. Crescent gets a candy colored wireless speaker. Pearl gets a turquoise tablet encrusted with shimmering shells.

Now it's my turn. The room quiets down like they did for Star but for a very different reason. As if I didn't know before, I'm suddenly really aware that I'm the only monster here. Feeling the whole school stare, I unhook my Soul Key from my belt loop with trembling hands. Far off whispers lick the back of my neck. I'm doing something wrong, aren't I? I'm gonna screw this up somehow. I'm wasting their time, how did I even get accepted into this school-

"Ms. Acdalur?" Sunshine says.

"Huh?" I've just been holding the key here in front of the box. The whispers get louder, like bees buzzing, ready to sting. The key slips from my clammy hands and I just barely catch it. Now they're snickering. Stone face. Stone face. Don't show a thing, Sky. Stop shaking, what's wrong with you?

Sunshine leans near me to say in an undertone I hope only I can hear, "What's wrong, hon?"

I shake my head. My voice doesn't work right now.

Sunshine doesn't speak for a second, instead staring at my key. "That's a lovely Soul Key you've got there," she says. "You know, you're the first monster to ever have one. And I'm sure no one would've expected it to be so beautiful. It makes me wonder what your Soul Player will look like."

That's right, I guess it's supposed to reflect my soul or something. I do really like the way my Soul Key looks, which is surprising. I wouldn't really consider anything about me beautiful, let alone my soul. Well, my ex called me beautiful. But she was crazy.

I'm stalling. I guess getting it over with will get everyone's eyes off of me. I hope.

I slide the key in the box's keyhole, and crank the way I've seen everyone else do it. The tune is as long as it's been every time, but this time it feels way longer. Finally, the box cracks open. I'm flashed with a bright pink flash of light that I have to look away from to keep from hurting my eyes. When I'm able to turn back, there's a CD player sitting in the box. It's glossy black, accented with a pastel rainbow spiderweb design. In the middle is a big, translucent, hot pink heart. I reach into the box. It's really warm in there. In fact, I flinch once my fingers touch the Soul Player, because it's pretty hot.

Kids won't stop whispering to each other the whole way back to my seat, and I can only imagine what they're saying.

Star clamors to get a better look at my Soul Player. "Yours is cute, too! They're all so cute!" At least I know someone has something good to say about what just happened.

Once all the First Years have their Soul Players I'm just about ready for dinner to go back to normal, but Sunshine stays put in the center of the room, even after the guy with her leaves and takes the music box with him. I figure she's just there to say some stuff about how it's the next stage of our something something blah blah blah, but she's still standing there even after saying all that. The older kids are back at it with the whispering.

"There is... another announcement for our First Years," Sunshine says tentatively.

We all lean in a bit closer.

"See, we have a little tradition here that's older than anyone in this room. The First Years are sent into Hillside's Serpentine Forest-"

An uproar is sent throughout the First Year tables, which doesn't bode well for whatever's going on in this forest.

Sunshine winces at the response then continues, "You will camp out there overnight-"

An even bigger uproar.

"Okay, yes, I understand your concern," Sunshine says. "When I was your age, I wasn't too thrilled to go through with this either. But I came to understand its importance as a bonding exercise. That's why, ever since I've been in charge, I've updated it to make things a bit easier on you. You will be provided with all the necessary supplies, including your Soul Player for self-defense purposes. If you do not find your way back to the palace after 24 hours, we'll send for you."

Over the chorus of complaining First Years I say to Star, "What's so bad about camping?"

"Yeah, that sounds like fun!" Crescent says.

Star shakes her head. "The Serpentine Forest is not fun, trust me."

I can't get myself too worked up over this, honestly. My family goes camping every year and you don't wanna know the kind of stuff lurking in the woods on the Isle of Isolation. What's the worst this kingdom of pastels and sparkles can throw at me? Granted I've already almost been killed this year... but I survived that, didn't I? Because Star and I make a pretty good team. So we'll be fine.

Sunshine says, "One last thing about that: you and your roommate will be camping in a team of two."

"WHAT?" Gossamer shouts, standing straight up. Her head snaps to me, filled with rage, as if I was the one that decided this.

Suddenly, I'm as upset as everyone else.