#congrats man he hates you now lmao

[askchilchuck]

*turns you into a sentient chair and leaves*

Hah! Nice try! The amulet Goldstar anon gave protects me from transformation magi- He feels his body tingle the same way as before when other polymorph magic was used.

No, wait! But, I thought-

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Barça Boy

♥ masterlist

♥ pairing: pablo gavi x fem!driver!sainz!reader

♥ synopsis: for as long as you can remember your older brother carlos sainz has been a loyal fan of the football team real madrid. you were an f2 driver who never took your mind off of your own sport; that was until carlos brought you to a barcelona v real madrid game and you fell for a player on the opposing team.

♥ smau - none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing and hate comments !!!

liked by landonorris, yourbestfriend, and 243,530 more

yourusername I've been kidnapped (not clickbait)

view comments

carlossainz55 I'm literally taking you to a madrid game

yourusername exactly 😔

user60 you should be greatful

user60 I'd kill to have those tickets

user71 she's always so ungrateful 🙄

user80 celebrities that don't know anything about the sport getting shit for free pisses me off

user6 @/user80 pretty sure Carlos payed for the two of their tickets but go off

user56 @/user80 not sure she even counts as a 'celebrity'

user7 NEED me some sombas

user8 im obsessed with their dynamic

user2 the sainz siblings >>>

landonorris @/carlossainz55 take me with you next time

user5 aww carlando dates

user3 gonna need a carlando football landolog asap

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Could you at least pretend like you're watching?" Carlos said, gazing at you as you scrolled through your phone.

You clicked the device off and slid it into your pocket.

"I'm sorry Carlos I'm just not really as interested in this as you are..." you paused. "I mean if I want to make it into F1 I gotta train right? I should be on the sim right now."

"C'mon," he groaned. "You're a Sainz, of course you're going to make it. Relax a little. Enjoy the game, please?"

You rubbed your eyes and sighed, "I'll try."

You crossed your arms and watched the game unfold. One of the Barcelona players scored a goal and went sprinting past you into a knee slide. He really caught your eye and you couldn't help but watch him the rest of the match.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by landonorris, fcbarcelona, and 563,649 more

carlossainz55 up for adoption: Y/n. Formula 2 driver and FC Barcelona apologist. Former Sainz.

view comments

fcbarcelona we'll adopt you y/n

yourusername do I get a kit?

pablogavi you can have one of mine

yourusername @/pablogavi 🤭

user9 THE @ IS CRAZY

carlossainz55 😐

user7 GAVIIIII

user5 find yourself a man who will love you even when you wear sunglasses with hot sauce (possibly ketchup?) bottles on them

user8 former sainz 😭

user12 "barcelona apologist" 💀

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by pablogavi, fcbarcelona, and 430,594 more

yourusername I guess I'm a culer now. thanks for the kit @/pablogavi it fits perfectly 😘

comments are restricted

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by yourusername, yourbestfriend, and 947,483 more

pablogavi look who I found

view comments

user6 carlos’ face 😭

user50 thought you were “too busy” for football 😐

user61 no way gavi is settling for her

user2 no bc she’s so pretty 😍

user9 they’re literally the cutest couple

user1 those family reunions are gonna be awkward tho lmao

prema_team its good to see you gavi :)

*liked by original poster*

user12 he’s my favorite wag

liked by pablogavi, olliebearman, and 539,922 more

yourusername signed a contract with ferrari next season. I’ll see you on the grid big bro @/carlossainz55

view comments

pablogavi estoy orgulloso de ti hermosa (I'm proud of you beautiful)

yourusername gracias mi amor

user7 so cute 🥹

user8 if I knew thirsting over him on main worked I woulda tried it years ago 😔

user6 madridista v culer war ferrari edition

user10 “my girlfriend is hotter than you” true 🤷‍♀️

carlossainz55 congrats or whatever

yourusername you know you love me

[dumbseee]

matchmaker.

in which max is tired of lando being a single mess, so he plays matchmaker.

lando norris x famous!reader.

fc: sabrina carpenter.

_

liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, madisonbeer and 1 738 929 others.

y/n: lil photodump 💭

_

madisonbeer: my goddess!! miss you pookie xx

liked by y/n.

user: QUEEN OMGGBSKSKSL

user: she’s addicted to slaying

user: pls come to brazil!!

user: can’t wait to see you in paris!!

user: she’s so pretty wtf

user: Y/N AND MADISON COLLAB WHEN??

user: emails i can’t send is a masterpiece y/n!!

user: JUST ONE CHANGE IM BEGGING AHKSOSLSL

user: the man who’s going to date her is literally the luckiest man on earth

see more.

_

imessages between max and lando.

max:

mate

i have good news

lando:

what?

i’m scared actually

max:

fuck off

it’s for your own sake

lando:

okay NOW i’m terrified

max:

SHUT IT

you’re going on a blind date tonight

lando:

um

no?

max:

wasn’t a question you idiot

be ready at 9

a car will come pick you up

lando:

DHAT

WHAT

MAX ANWSER

WITH WHO???

I REFUSE

_

_

imessages between max and lando.

lando:

max fewtrell.

did you REALLY sent me on a blind date with Y/N FUCKING L/N??

WITHOUT WARNING ME??

i was SO embarrassing

max:

okay for my defense, i didn’t know

i asked kika to find me someone who could match your vibe and apparently it had to be y/n…

BUT apparently it went well so we good

lando:

mate

i fucking spilled my wine on her expensive looking dress

i tripped over my own feet when i got up to pay the bill

i stuttered when she asked for my NAME

i almost slipped when i tried to open the car door for her

i answered « that’s cool » when she told me that the inspiration for her new album was her past and traumatic relationship

max:

holy shit dude

she’s never calling you again that’s for SURE

well at least we tried

lando:

wait till i catch you and kika

i’ll run you over with my car

BOTH OF YOU TRAITORS

max:

i’m innocent

it’s all kika’s fault

_

_

imessages between max, kika and lando.

kika:

YOU COWARD

SHE THINKS YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER

TEXT HER NOW

max:

why are we yelling

kika:

go on twitter and see for yourself

lando:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN’T LIKE HER??

she should be the one to dislike me i literally made a fool out of myself BECAUSE I WASN’T PREPARED TO MEET MY CELEBRITY CRUSH???

kika:

you should be always prepared lando norris

lando:

omg give me a break

what should i do?

max:

her fans hate you lmao

text her maybe?

kika:

I HAVE A BETTER IDEA

invite her for the miami gp!

yes i’m a genius

lando:

do you want me to crash on the wall francisca?

i will 100% fumble the race if i know she’s watching

max:

oh my god

why are you such a pussy?

lando:

fuck YOU

this is all your fault

kika:

if you don’t invite her, i WILL

lando:

FINE

but if i die i’ll haunt your ass forever

kika:

who knows maybe you’ll finally win a race ;)

mister lando NOwins

lando:

wow i didn’t know mister pierre gasly was a race winner already

max:

okay enough you two

_

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, francisca.cgomes and 2 628 048 others.

y/n: may not know a lot about formula one, but i know for a fact that you deserved that win. i can’t wait to be with you during your journey, pretty boy <3

_

landonorris: i couldn’t ask for a better partner, pretty girl <3

user: YESSS FINALLY

user: omg they’re together??

user: WTFFFABSKSLMSLS

user: no bc why are they so cute??

user: aww she was so happy for him when he won

user: lmao the cameraman kept zooming in on her when lando won ajsksllz

user: PARENTS

user: CONGRATS LANDO

user: he better treat her right

user: they’re cute ngl

see more.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Lando reminds Max how he said he'll let Lando marry Y/n once he wins his first race

yn_verstappen My boy got his first win ❤️❤️so proud of you my love

view all comments

landonorris I think I fulfill the criteria for you know what @/maxverstappen1 do you remember what you said?

↳maxverstappen1 I refuse to remember

landonorris cmon I'd do it anyway

maxverstappen1 It was a JOKE

landonorris well I'm very serious about this

username1 What is Lando talking about?

↳username2 I think under some previous post Max said he'll let Lando marry his sister if he wins because it seemed so unrealistic but now oh well 💀

carlossainz55 As a friend of the both of you I can't wait

↳yn_verstappen Wait for what exactly? 👀

landonorris you know what 👀

yn_verstappen Nahhhh I know it was just a joke

landonorris yeah yeah, a joke, totally

username3 I AM CONFUSED

username2 I think Y/n thinks it wasn't for real😭

username4 Y/n blessing our eyes with the video on third slide 😏

↳yn_verstappen As a fangirl myself, I know what a fangirl desires 😌

username5 But fr fr Y/n would be so lucky if Lando actually proposed now

↳username6 I don't think he is being serious, they're still young and all

username7 And why would he try to outshine his first win with a proposal??

username8 So is the wedding happening or not?!

↳username9 It MUST happen now

josverstappen7 Impressive 👏

↳yn_verstappen Ik dacht dat ik je geblokkeerd had lol

username3 "I THOUGHT I BLOCKED YOU" LMAO

↳username10 Hey Jos, is Max on his way to the gas station yet?

username11 He's still walking from the circuit back to the hotel lmao

landonorris It's a win-win situation

view all comments

yn_verstappen Max still can't believe you did it lmao

↳landonorris he was the one who gave me the idea!

maxverstappen1 IT WAS A JOKE

landonorris doesn't change the fact that it gave me the idea

username1 Max gonna hate himself for the rest of his life lol he trapped himself with Lando as brother in law

↳username2 Poor Maxie 🤣

yn_verstappen Poor Maxie indeed lmao

carlossainz55 Did Y/n take these photos?

↳landonorris of course she did

↳yn_verstappen Yessir I did

georgerussell63 Why's the ring so small? 🤣

↳yn_verstappen Well I love it regardless

georgerussell63 He's just won a race, should try a bit harder, not sure if that impresses Max

maxverstappen1 Remind me, where's your ring for Carmen? 🤔

username3 Max casually shutting George up lmao

↳yn_verstappen He loves his brother in law after all🥹

username4 I love how Max pretends to not like Lando, but when George try to say something he's defending

↳username5 That's real sibling energy

carlossainz55 Congrats to the both of you! 💪

↳landonorris during one weekend I did two things no one expected me to do

username6 No but that's a valid point Max got, cuz how long have Y/n and Lando been together? A YEAR AND HE ALREADY PROPOSED

↳username7 meanwhile Carmen still waiting for her ring after years

username8 Max ain't getting rid of Lando after this

↳yn_verstappen I think he doesn't mind it 😅

username9 Jos getting another son to train

↳username10 Jos pls turn Lando into a world champion

username9 Possibly without the abuse part?

yn_verstappen Not possible I think lol

josverstappen7 Take good care of her

↳yn_verstappen Better than you did 😐

↳username11 Jos tryna make a comeback into Y/n's life lmao

username12 Suddenly he even follows Lando?

username11 Thankfully Lando doesn't follow him back

maxverstappen1 To clear up the accusations - I will not hate myself for giving him the idea, I enjoy having Lando in the family

↳yn_verstappen They know, Maxie 😭 they're just joking around

username13 Imagine Max, Lando and Y/n together in the same room with Jos 💀

↳username2 I meannn Y/n does a pretty good job avoiding her father, I don't think she wants Lando to meet him

username1 Man's extremely rich, are we surprised?

username2 Trying to impress Max lmao first the win, now this

username3 Well it's understandable that they want privacy on such day

username4 I NEED TO KNOW IF JOS WILL BE THERE

↳username2 Knowing Y/n she won't invite him

username4 As 👏 she 👏 should 👏

username5 Little Lando Norris is the last person from the grid that I expected to get married now

↳username1 Or ever lol

username6 I hope after they are married and have kids Jos will stay away from them

↳username7 Yeah I don't think Y/n would want Jos to be involved in the kids' life after how abusive he was towards Max

username8 Abusive 💀 if it wasn't for Jos Max wouldn't be a world champion

username7 What about Lewis who didn't have an abusive parent?

username9 I'm really hoping to see Y/n keep her last name so their kids can have the last name of a world champion

↳username2 Lando still has a chance 😭 if not this season, then he still has a lot of time

↳username10 Maybe "no kids before Lando's first championship" is their second rule lmao

yn_norstappen Better than I've ever dreamed of 💓 thank you everyone for being there for us and celebrating our love together 💓 and thank you to my amazing husband for making me his wife

view all comments

username1 norstappen in the username 😭 I love her she's iconic

landonorris thank you to my beautiful wife for existing

↳username2 I think we know who he can thank for this 💀

maxverstappen1 It was better than I expected

↳landonorris supportive as always❤️

↳yn_norstappen Chill Maxie we all know you're happy for us

georgerussell63 It was such a beautiful wedding

↳yn_norstappen You should take notes, maybe you'll need it one day

carlossainz55 I cried and I'm proud of it

↳yn_norstappen I had no idea you'd be so touched!

carlossainz55 I guess it was just very heartwarming to see Lando get married, especially when you're the one he's getting married to

yn_norstappen Thank you 🥹🫶 I also cried a lot and I'm crying again reading all these kind comments

↳username3 Lando also cried! It was funny to see that after he said he's just not the kinda guy to cry during touching moments like this

username4 Yeahhhh I was surprised he didn't cry after his first win like 🥹aren't u happy pookie⁉️

yn_norstappen If you like to see Lando crying, wait for a video of our wedding day!!

↳landonorris that was kinda cute!

charles_leclerc Your first win, your first wife, what's next?😂

↳yn_norstappen FIRST and LAST wife

landonorris obviously baby

username3 New gossip alert, he said "obviously baby" without a comma ("obviously, baby") so what if he's actually replying to Charles' question saying next is their first baby? 😭

oscarpiastri So happy to have been with you on such important day

↳landonorris cheesy osc

↳yn_norstappen Thank you Oscar

mclaren Cheers to the newlyweds 🥂 (and to many more wins of Lando's)

↳oscarpiastri But tbh such a shame there was no orange theme

landonorris the baby shower will be black and orange

oscarpiastri You're already planning I see

landonorris it's a bit obvious innit

yn_norstappen LANDO

yn_norstappen We're NOT having a baby YET

landonorris after the first world champion title✍️got it baby

josverstappen7 Shame I couldn't be there with you, but happy regardless

↳yn_norstappen You COULDN'T? I didn't invite you

↳username2 nahhh Jos is tryna make it seem like he couldn't make it but we all know he just wasn't invited lmao

[f14fun]

pixelated love (!simmer x mv1) - chapter 3

synopsis: in which the famous three time world champion max verstappen wants to learn how to play the sims 4. except, he doesn't really know how to. so what does he do, search up a youtube tutorial. low-and-behold, y/n's video is the first he watches.

smau ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧���˚.⋆ prev | next | series index ˚୨୧⋆｡

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 127,821 others

yourusername: incase you haven't heard, max and i are getting married! planning my pinterest board wedding with @/maxverstappen1 as we speak!

view comments:

user1: what.

user1: mother you are getting married to that PASTY AND GNARLY EUROPEAN WHITE MAN??? 😡😡😡

user1: is this a joke

user1: this MUST be an insane practical joke that she pulled off

user1: think of your CHILDREN (me) as you make this decision

user1: until then, i uninvite myself from the wedding ❌👰🏻‍♀️👰🏻‍♂️

user1: sincerely, your favorite child

user1: (for all of you overtly sensitive fat fucks that was entirely satire 🤡🤡🤡)

user2: everyone who doesn't have twitter right now must be hella confused 🤣🤣

redbullracing: ???

yourusername: please avert your gaze to this message and the entirety of my account as a whole, deepest apologies for any confusion or misunderstandings 🤡

yourusername: @/maxverstappen1 fifth slide. my head between those juicy thighs. five o'clock tonight.

yourusername: need my head in between that meat like a stick on costco rotisserie chicken 🐔🍗😋🤤💦🫠

maxverstappen1: I am in shock.

maxverstappen1: I do not even know how to respond to this comment

maxverstappen1: Also what is a "costco"

yourusername: oh shit, i forget that you're not an american LMAO 🍟🍔🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🤠🤠🤠🏈🗽

yourusername: it's just a huge wholesale groccery store

maxverstappen1: Oh okay, I see

yourusername: was that a redeemable statement!!!

maxverstappen1: Not one bit. ❌

maxverstappen1: Also it is spelled as *grocery instead of whatever mess you spelled

yourusername: i hate you

maxverstappen1: You cannot hate your husband, I am very likeable

yourusername: AHA YOU JUST ADMITTED IT

yourusername: I GOTCHA NOW BUDDY

user3: top ten wedding (???) announcements ever made, ladies and gentlemen

user4: Y/N I APPLAUD YOU, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS ON HOW WILD YOU CAN GET. GO AMERICA RAHHH 🦅🦅🦅

yourusername: proud to do our country a cuntry 💅🏻🦅🏈

maxverstappen1: Wait if I marry you does that mean I also have American citizenship?

user5: MAX WHATTTTTT LMAOOO???

user6: did NOT expect max to type that lmao, free him y/n 🤠

user7: the #maxisaynhostage agenda never ends 🤣🤣

yourusername: what-

landonorris: Mate, what are you on about...

landonorris: Also congratulations to the happy couple! @/yourusername @/maxverstappen1

yourusername: awww, thank you so much lando!! max, you better make him the best groomsman or ELSE

maxverstappen: @/yourusername @/landonorris 😐😐😐

charles_leclerc: Congrats you two! 🍾🥂 Alex and I would love to be invited to your wedding!

yourusername: Saving a seat for you two (plus leo!)

maxverstappen1: There is no wedding. ❌👰🏻‍♀️👰🏻‍♂️

oliverbearman: the oli bearman erasure from the leclerc family is unforunately so real 😞

yourusername: OLI I WOULD NEVERRRR FORGET YOUU

oliverbearman: please adopt me 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername: of course 🥹🥹🥹

charles_leclerc: ???? @/maxverstappen1 .... Do you approve of this mate?? Your first child is my child?...

maxverstappen1: OF COURSE NOT PLEASE UNADOPT HIM @/yourusername

yourusername: this is your first born. no. ❌

oliverbearman: ❌❌❌

user8: the way she makes max more unhinged LMAO u can see it in his typing

oscarpiastri: Okay. The Oscar Piastri-Leclerc erasure saga never ends.

oscarpiastri: Hello??

oscarpiastri: Hello guys?

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taglist: @hiireadstuff @sinofwriting @mehrmonga @the-untamed-soul @glai1023-blog @loloekie @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sheastri @llando4norris @gwginnyweasley @carmenita122 @ririyulife @pausmoon @ur-fave-ave @eveninggstar @maddie-naps @erin-odonnell04 @rexit-mo @ems-alexandra @si1ver06 @iamred-iamyellow @bibissparkles

some of these didn't get tagged, and i'm having trouble (?) it's being very weird, idk, so please let me know if your name is here and it didn't tag you ❣️

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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾 LMAO I LIED part three came out faster than expected. but part four may take a while as i'm a tad busy these next four weeks 🫠

comment if you want to be added to the taglist! ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[mochinomnoms]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Congrats on 1k followers Mochi (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ you so so so so deserve it. You always make me smile when I see your posts so I hope you have fun writing them.

If I might make a request, could I have Jade, Trey, and Ace with a romantic prompt 16 (“I won't lose you again.”)? I want to see them cry a lot just a tiny bit. Feel free to let the vibes guide you, I trust it will be very good.

-Yuri

jade leech, trey clover, ace trappola (separate) x gn!reader [tags] — angst in Ace's, hurt in Trey's, humor in Jade, implied time loop theory [wc} - 1,000+ each prompt 16: “I won't lose you again.” song: Be, Talk (Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby!”), Francesca (Hozier, “Unreal Unearth”) note - @yuri-is-online got it! went a lil wild cause I got massive inspo lmao. Also, let me know if yall can guess the anime I got inspired from with Ace's francesca (1k event)

“Be like the love that discovered the sin (Lover, be good to me) / That freed the first man and will do so again / And, lover, be good to me (Lover, be good to me)”

There were several things that caught Jade Leech’s attention during his life, but only a few kept his attention, after which he’d abandon his ‘toy’. Fungi, mountains, and poisonous flowers, were exceptions, to name a few. He had to admit to himself (and only himself) that there was one thing that revolved in his mind all this time later, dug deep into his brain like the mycelium of his beloved mushrooms in the forest floor. 

One. Thing. You. The funny little human from the broken down dorm. The funny little human with not a single ounce of magic in their veins. The cute little human that was captivated by his merform, an entirely foreign concept to them. The sweet little human with the even sweeter crush on him all throughout his second and third years. 

Perhaps it was cruel of him to entertain your affections with no real desire to follow through on them. Actually, scratch that, it was cruel of him to do so. It was just so…interesting to him at the time. He grew alongside his brother and Azul, none of them exactly being the most sought after during their childhood or teens. They were feared, each of them for multiple reasons, not exactly prime boyfriend material, despite some of their attempts to curate a specially crafted facade. 

Yet, you were so bewitched by him, enthralled, beguiled, and dare he say lovesick with him despite all the signs screaming “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!” So please, forgive him for shamelessly flirting, and finding entertainment in your reactions. 

The dilated pupils as he leaned down to make eye contact. The sharp intakes when he cornered you against a library shelf, nonchalantly reaching for a random book. The shiver down your spine as he would lean over in class to whisper some nonsense in your ear regarding the class. All for the sole purpose to see you blush a pretty color and get flustered. Not for the jump in his heart at the thought of being revered so sweetly, or a potential lover being so good to him. 

It was just a bit of fun. That’s all it was. That’s all it was meant to be, when he finally left for his internship his third year. He paid no mind to the wistful look on your face as he gave his goodbyes, nor the strange creak in his heart at the sight.

Jade Leech was all he’s always been, and all he will ever be: a man that left his toys once they ceased to interest him.

Which is why he loathed that he’s been unable to remove you from his mind. Though, did he really? It wasn’t annoyance or hate, but an aching yearning that resided in his being. Jade spent many months tossing and turning in bed as he dreamt of you: shy smiles, soft eyes, and sweet words. He wanted, he needed to be free from this love-struck feeling, this infatuation. It was dragging him down from his finely constructed pedestal, like a sin striking an angel down from heaven. 

Yet, coming back to campus now, presenting his internship research at the end of the year, Jade found himself strangely content with the concept as he watched you. You’d taken on your role at NRC quite beautifully, and were the object of affection for many admirers, much to his dismay. Currently, you were attending to visitors, directing them to their destinations and helping the fourth years find their old clubs and friends, while he admired from around the corner.  

You were as you’ve always been, sweet, cute, and clueless to your surroundings as he stalked closer until he was behind you, leaning down until his lips inched close to your ear. 

He purred breathlessly into your ear, “Oh Prefect~ Is that you, my dear?” Jade didn’t miss the shudder that flew up your spine as you jumped away in shock. 

“EEP! W-what the—” You whipped your head around to berate the man before realizing who it was. “Oh, jeez, Jade! You’re back—why’d you do that?!”

The tall man chuckled as he straightened to his normal height. Oh, how he missed you. And your reactions, of course. 

“I simply missed your delightful expressions, you always have been rather reactive with me, haven’t you?”

“What—nooo. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Huffing, you crossed your arms and jerked your gaze away in irritation. At least, it would be if not for the blush on your cheeks. 

“Fuhuhuh, that blush suggests otherwise.” A giddy feeling filled his chest as Jade inched closer to you, in which you backed away. This continued until he managed to corner you against the stone way of the hallway. 

“This is a familiar sight, is it not?” Jade cooed as he leaned down again, a hand reaching to caress your cheek. “I did miss you, didn’t you—”

A smack. Jade blinked in surprise as his hand was thrown back by your own. Now you looked more annoyed than flustered. 

“I’m sure you did.” You hissed sarcastically, narrowing your gaze at him. “Ha! Please, more like missed messing with me. If you really missed me, you’d’ve called or messaged me like the others in our class. Even Azul checked up on me!”

Jade…hadn’t been aware of that. He’s been too into his own head, reliving memories with you that it hadn’t occurred to him that you’d actually might lose affection for him. 

The thought made him a little sick. 

He pouted, taking your chin in his hand to tilt your head up to his. “Is that so? Please forgive me for my most egregious sin. I don’t wish to lose you again.”

“Hmph, again?” You made a sound of offense. Despite your words, you still looked up at Jade with a  shy gaze, eyes darting down to his lips every so often. 

You never had me in the first place.” You scoffed, trying to avert your blushing gaze, though he kept a firm grip, moving to squeeze your cheeks into a pucker.  

Jade chuckled, “Your previous actions say otherwise, though I am quite a fool for not taking what was mine in the first place.”

“Y-yours?! You-you-you can’t just say things like that—eep!” You let you a deliciously cute squeak, which he swallowed up as he stole a kiss. 

“Now, now my little lover, be good to me and let me revel in your affections, I’ve derived myself from them for far too long now, have I not?”

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice / Imagine being loved by me / I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) / All the things I would do

He wasn’t sure why he had any faith in Crowley to get you back home. Really, that’s on him for thinking the headmage would put any work into your return home. If Trey had known that you’d still be here in Twisted Wonderland, years after his graduation, he wouldn’t have ever broken up with you. 

Granted, it hadn’t exactly been his choice in the first place, as you had abruptly ended the relationship towards the end of his fourth year. Told him to enjoy his life without you weighing him down, despite his insistence that you’d do no such thing. 

Trey finally relented when you told him that you had a world, a family, a home (without him) to get to. Somewhere you belonged, somewhere that wasn’t with him. 

It hurt, yes, knowing that you were never really meant to be with him in the first place. It was simply by magical chance that you were plucked from your world to turn his own upside down. Likewise, it was simply by chance that you and him got together to steal and eat his heart, leaving him almost an empty shell of himself. 

So it was a surprise to see you at Riddle’s wedding, of all places, dressed up in a pretty green outfit as you giggled with some bridesmaids. Seven, you looked good, the fabric hugging all the right spots. Maybe he was being a bit delusional, but Trey swears that the green of your outfit matched the color of his hair, and he had a small possessive streak pass through him at the thought. If it wasn’t for Cater pinching his arm, Trey would be sure that he was in a dream. 

“Ow! Cater!” Trey hissed, rubbing his arm as the strawberry-blonde smirked at him. Cater’s hair was longer now, but he kept his signature style from school still. 

“Go on, talk to them.” Cater nudged him with his elbow, gesturing to you. “I know you want too~”

Trey huffed, watching the liquid in his cup as he swirled his punch. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, come on!” Cater whined, latching on to Trey’s arm. 

“We didn’t end on good terms.”

Cater countered, “You didn’t end on bad ones either.”

“Hmph.” Trey clicked his tongue, eyeing you from the corner of his eye. Your hair had grown longer, and was dyed. It looked nice on you.

Still leaning against Trey, Cater pouted before a mischievous look passed over his face as he leaned in to whisper in Trey’s ear. 

“Besides, I heard they’ve stayed single since being with you.”

“…” A sigh. “Really?”

“Totes, so you really ought to go make a move before that blonde dude does, though it doesn’t look like he’s having much luck.”

Finally deciding to look up, Trey noticed your uncomfortable expression as the guy twirled a strand of your hair with his fingers. Despite being known for being rather mild-mannered, a handful of your mutual friends knew the truth: Trey had a nasty jealous streak where you were concerned. 

He wasn’t sure when or how he got across the room, but Trey was suddenly hovering over you and the blond man, hazel eyes piercing his back. Surprise flitted your features as a hand was offered to you, along with a familiar. 

“Sorry, hope I’m not interrupting.” Trey had to withhold a smug smirk as he saw your eyes light up at the sight of him. “But would you mind sharing a dance?”

You eagerly nodded, taking his hand and mumbling a half-hearted apology to the other man as Trey guided you to the dance floor, filled with couples sharing a dance to the latest love song. 

His hands rested on the familiar curve of your waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, hesitating before finally settling your hands on the back of his neck. The two of you swayed to the music, a surprisingly comfortable silence between you two. Honestly? It was as if you two never broke up, with how your bodies curled into each other, heart-to-heart.

Yet, neither one of you seems willing to start the conversation he was begging to have.

“… You look beautiful—”

“You look wonderful—” 

Both of you opened your mouths at the same time, interrupting each other before sharing a giggle.

“Sorry, sorry. You go first.”

Trey shook his head. “No, go ahead.”

You smiled, something soft and a bit sad, before looking him up and down. “You look good, got stockier. The bakery’s got you working hard, hm?”

“Ha, yeah. It has, what…about you?”

Your lips thinned, as you looked away. “Still at NRC with Grim, we teach the new Beast-tamer curriculum. It’s…fun.”

Silence fell over you two again, the elephant in the room hanging between you two.

“You’ve been here, all this time, then?”

You nodded, a sliver of shame passing over your features. 

“He never did find me a way home after we…you know…”

Trey sharply inhaled, tightening his grip and rubbing soothing circles as he nodded. “Yeah…why didn’t you…tell me. Why didn’t you come back?” He left out the ‘to me.’

You stopped dancing, making him stumble slightly as he watched your face intently, heart aching at the tears growing in your eyes. 

 “I—” Trey watched as you swallowed a lump in your throat, voice shaky. “—I felt so bad that you’d spent your time and energy on being with me when I might not even stay, so I wanted you to go off and live life. But then, he never did find me a way back, and I realized that I just pushed you away, and I just couldn’t face you—”

You broke into sobs, burying your face into his chest as Trey led you away from the dance floor. He managed to pull you into a secluded hallway, one for the staff to enter in and out of the kitchen. Trey held you close as he rubbed your back, resting his cheek on the top of your head as you rested into the crook of his neck.

“I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't be…” You were sniffling, letting out little hiccups as you spoke. “—crying like this… I'm not trying to make you… feel bad… I just… I should go…”

As you moved to pull away, Trey tightened his grip, hand reaching up to caress your cheek as you looked up at him with watery eyes. You were as beautiful as the day you left him, tears streaking your makeup and all. 

“Don’t, please, I—” Trey sighed, resting his forehead against yours. “I won’t lose you again. I missed you so much, please, stay?”

You nodded, still sniffling, as you moved to kiss the palm holding your cheek. “I missed you too, but aren’t you mad at me? For not coming back?”

Trey shook his head, smiling softly at you. Whatever anger he had was immediately forgiven at the sight of you before him. He couldn’t care less about the last few years, as long as he had you back in his arms again. 

“As long as I can have you back in my arms, the past is forgiven. As long as…you’ll have me?”

The two of you shared another sweet smile, leaning into each other to press your lips in a soft, fleeting kiss. The type of kiss you give when you can’t tell the difference between a dream and reality. Cater’s quick photo of you two lovers would later help cement that fact that this was reality. 

It’s a week later that Trey has that exact same picture set as his home and lock screen.

I'd tell them, "Put me back in it" (Da-ah, darlin') / I would do it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah) / If I could hold you for a minute (Da-ah, darlin') / I'd go through it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens. Ace goes through the orientation ceremony, only to have it interrupted by you stumbling into the Mirror Chamber, an energetic and egotistical Grim demanding to take your spot. 

It’s dark in the cave that he goes into with you two and Deuce to collect the new chandelier magistone. You're screaming, he’s screaming, so are Deuce and Grim. It’s a shit show, even before Riddle comes to drag him and Deuce back to the dorm. 

It’s dark when he makes the trek to your dorm after being collared. Grumbling about just wanting a snack, about Riddle’s unnecessary rage, and about who the hell can remember all 810 rules. It’s light, though, that he sees when you open the door to Ramshackle, the warm, old lightbulbs from the hallway creating a halo around you. 

It’s light again, in the morning as the sun filters through the broken window, you poking him awake to get to class.

Ace has never been one to get sentimental, the idea of love is frightening, to be frank. But looking at you again, light curtaining your features, he was reminded why he did what he did. 

Why he punched Riddle for his outburst and insults to you. 

Why he threw himself into the fight against Leona as he threatened to turn you to sand. 

Why he let himself get “tricked” by Azul again and again, get beaten up by the twins under the sea again and again. Why he tried to run back to school to your rescue, only to be too late again and again. Why he endured the embarrassment of losing the SDC. 

He’d hoped that this time he’d be able to avoid getting into a coma from the S.T.Y.X. Charon robots again, but he had no luck, so you once again had to depend on Rook and Epel getting you through the Isle of Woe. Maybe he should’ve focused on getting Grim back after scratching you, or maybe just prevented him from eating all the blot stones, then you wouldn’t have been in this mess. 

It might have prevented Malleus’s own blot, though Ace wasn’t really sure what led to his spiraling. It was probably a combination of a lot of information, as it was with the rest of the blots. Either way, he’d been hoping that preventing Grim from eating the 8th blot stone would’ve prevented this. 

Ace wouldn’t know though, as he’s been through this year at least 4 times now. Trying to prevent what he’s slowly starting to believe is inevitable.  

He’s replayed your deaths over and over in his brain. The first one that happened, he was upset for losing a friend, but probably would’ve gotten over it. It sounds harsh, but that was the reality of the situation. 

After the second loop, Ace started noticing you more. Things he missed out on the first time. The way you smiled, the way you walked, the way you tugged on your shirt when you were nervous. It was cute. 

It was his third loop that he started noticing little things. How you liked to grab on to his arm when it got too crowded. How you always made an effort to help him in class, despite having to catch up with nearly 2 decades of curriculum just to understand the professors. He noticed how you’d blush whenever he’d make flirty jokes. 

It was his fourth, and current, loop that he really started to view you differently. That he started to view these second, third, and fourth chances as a way to keep you safe. To not lose you again. 

You were always helping him, despite the stress he caused you. Every time you’d let him crash in your dorm, eventually convincing you to let him share at least your room. He’d be up, tossing and turning as he watched your sleep. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but seeing you take your whole situation in stride, every overblot, every condescending comment, every shenanigan Grim, Deuce, and him really made Ace think about why he was doing this. 

Was it because he felt bad? No, it certainly wasn’t the first time, anyway. Was it because he liked having you around? Kinda, maybe a little. Was it because every time he’d ask you why you got involved with all the drama at school, you’d answer with a shrug, a smile, and simply answer “I gotta protect my friends, as best I can anyway.” That was probably partially the reason.

He thinks the reason he’s so desperate to make sure you stay around is because of the promise you made with him the first loop around: “If I can’t go home, let’s always stick together! I like you, and you like me, so we can support each other every way we can.”

You’d made this promise, in one form or another, every loop.

“Promise we’ll stay friends, even after graduation! I wanna stick by my first friend’s side!”

“Ace? Do you actually promise to take care of me? I know I’m a pain, no magic and all, but I’ve taken care of you in my own way, do you really promise to do the same?”

It was his fourth time watching you live your year in Twisted Wonderland. And it’s then that it clicked for him: he was falling deep into love with the magicless Prefect that cared way too much for others, and much too little for themselves. 

“Ace…” you gasped, a bloodied hand reaching out for him as an overblotted Grim made a rampage throughout the Mirror Chamber. He could hear the others screaming, magic being cast, and a distinct yowl from Grim as Riddle launched another fire spell at him. 

Ace cringed as the giant direbeast that was once his little fiery friend screamed in pain, running around until he tripped and fell through where there was once a wall. Grim let out an eerie, inhuman scream as he fell, a sickening crunch echoing as he landed on the stone ground. For the fourth time, Grim was gone. But that didn’t matter, not when he was watching you die for the fourth time. 

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey I’m here.” Ace had managed to crawl over to you, clasping your hand with his own. He rested your head on his lap as you coughed, red liquid leaving your mouth as you did. 

“No, nononononono—you’re fine!” Ace hyperventilated as he looked over your battered body. He was sure that he had prevented Grim from eating Vil’s blot stone. Was that not the reason he turned into this? Did he only need to eat a few before turning into a monster? He was so confident that he’d managed to keep you safe. So why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy—

“Ace.” He froze as you murmured his name, your other hand reaching for his cheek, wiping away the tears he didn’t realize he was leaving. 

“Ace, promise me you’ll stay with me? I don’t want to be alone right now…” you hiccuped as you started crying, curling into his chest as Ace cradled you. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t help! I was so useless, so useless to let Grim get to this point. So useless as a friend, I’m so sorry!”

Ace curled into you, ignoring the voices from behind you two, no doubt the other students coming to the realization that you’d be grievously harmed. 

“I’ll stay with you, I’m always with you.” Ace shuddered. He felt like throwing up. “I’m going to try again, I won’t be too late this time. I’ll make sure to keep you safe this time. I won't lose you again.”

Ace ignored the person shaking his shoulder as he watched you hyperventilate, before your breathing slowed and eventually stopped. He ignored the surprised cries as magic swirled around him, as he activated his signature spell for the fifth, and hopefully final time:

With a flick of the wand, a rhythm sublime,

Reverse The Clock, turn back the chime,

No time to say 'Hello', goodbye!

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens for the fifth time.

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

[chronically-ghosted]

delicious

rating: T (for cursing and drug use)

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

word count: 2160

summary: in order to make a fundraising event bearable, you and Dieter take edibles. When the event runs long, your only chance to make it out alive is to find something to eat. 

warnings: drug use (it’s just edibles c’mon you narc), eating, the munchies, messy kissing, dieter bravo being a giant goofball and i hate him, this fic is so self-indulgent i'm embarrassed FOR you, FLUFF

a/n: this one kicked my butt, idk why. But @ravensmadreads says its good so here you go. For my 100 followers event (this is the last one! wow!): @sp00kymulderr asked: Taylor!! Congrats on 100, you’re my favourite blog honestly I check your posts every day just to read your tags lmao. For the celebration can I request some of our sweet boy Dieter with the prompt “We should probably leave, before we start a scandal.” it’s absolutely perfect

🤍Masterlist

After thirty minutes, your eyes are starting to cross. Your high-ribbed dress pinches the soft skin under your tits and the boob tape is starting to chafe your nipples. The ruby red heels have officially given you blisters but the worst – the absolute worst of it – you’re fucking starving.

And the Layaway Barbie at the podium marches on, her big eyes wet and her mouth begging, as she proves to a roomful of donors why they should spend another million in . . . tree-frog rehabilitation. Dieter had been drawn to the little green guys with red eyes on the front of the invitation and as the guest of honor for his “philanthropic” work when he was “dating” a Doctor Without (personal) Borders six years ago, how could he not go?

Let’s take an edible before we go, he said. 

Whatever the vibe, it’ll be better if we’re on edibles, honey. 

That is the last time you let him convince you of anything while he’s not wearing pants and his hand is down yours. 

Your stomach grumbles and you fight back a whine. You make a noise like that and someone will definitely know you’re on drugs. The portly man next you has been staring at you with poorly hidden disgust all night as it is. But for now, his eyes focus in on Layaway Barbie, his loose jowls around his permanently down-turned mouth reminding you of a cartoon character. But which one?

Your eyes narrow at him. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye and it comes to you.

“Droopy!” you yelp and immediately clap your hand over your mouth. Your table mates eye you as if you are some society dredge they did not wish to involve themselves with. 

You turn as best you can in your seat, ready to either be scolded by Dieter or have him laugh with you, but he does neither.

In fact, cross-armed, low in his seat, he lets out a low snore. 

It’ll be fun, he said. 

“Dieter!” You hiss. Nothing. His face is relaxed, lips parting as he falls deeper asleep. Irate you didn’t think of it first, you smack him across the knee. “Dieter!”

He jerks, eyelids cracking open briefly, and suddenly he drops his chin again.

“Thank you for your blessing and influence, oh Lord. Am— oh, hey, baby, what’s up?” 

“Don’t ‘hey, baby, what’s up’ me. You were asleep and you just faked praying.” 

“Better than faking other things,” he yawns loudly, blinks a bit, and realizes the “inspiring” speech (and presentation) is still going on. “Oh, fuck, we’re gonna die here.” 

“Can you please keep it down?” The woman to Dieter’s right snaps. “You are making a mockery of a serious and pressing issue facing our society.”

Dieter blinks at her, his arms still across his chest. You can hear the bitch climb up his throat before he even opens his mouth.

“Well, you’re making a mockery of that dress and you don’t see me complaining–,”

You snag him by the hand and pull him away from the table before the woman has the good sense to throw her drink into his face. 

He stumbles behind you as you push on the metal bar, the latch clicking, and you both tumble out into the empty hotel hallway. When the event started, everyone had been herded in from the other doors, where the lobby was. This looks like the kind of hallway drunk co-eds wander down while trying to find the bathroom after prom. 

Which – ironically –

His big paw clutches your waist as he falls, or rather, stumbles into a tacky maroon and gold wall. In the fumbling under his legs as they overtake you, and keeping the rim of your heels from biting into your already puckered flesh, he manages to pin you beneath him. The instant the smell of his cologne washes over you, the instinct to claw his stupid eyes out evaporates. You sigh, both of his hands cupping your neck. 

“Mhmm, there she is,” he murmurs, sing-song, kissing your nose. “Little hellcat turns baby kitten when she gets what she needs.” 

“You are the biggest idiot I know,” you purr into his ear as his hands slide through the layers of your skirt to your ass. 

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.” The cry you let out when he pinches your ass cheek beneath your dress is all the answer he needs. 

Hands full of your thighs, he rubs you up the wall but there’s too many layers, too much gossamer to get him where you need him. His breath comes in short pants as he presses sloppy, wet kisses to your shoulder, your clavicle, your cheek. 

There it comes again. Hunger. Driven on by –

You bite him.

“Ow!” 

He pulls back and your mouth drops open in horror – you didn’t mean to bite him that hard and –

Your stomach lets out the most petulant growl. 

Hand on his neck like it’s bleeding, Dieter follows your gaze to your stomach as if it had called his name.

And then you both break out into side-splitting laughter. 

He eases you down, giggling, his nose pressed to your temple. Were you at home, the sex would have probably continued, but the atmosphere would be different – playful, teasing – he once did a Kermit the Frog impression while balls-deep inside of you and you laughed so hard you instantly came all over him. 

“Baby,” he sighs through his teeth and kisses your hairline. “I know. I’m so fucking hungry.” He snaps his teeth by your ear and you push him back by his chest. Two goddam years of dating this moron and he still makes you blush like you’re fifteen and necking with a band geek. 

His fingers wrap around your wrist to hold your hand above his heart, kissing your knuckles. He sucks your thumb once before you yelp, and he pushes your fist into his hair as you try to squirm away. He smirks into your neck.

“Dieter!”

“I’m hungry!”

“You’re the one who suggested we take edibles before coming to this thing.” 

“Mhmm, let’s go home and do more drugs.”

“But you owe me dinner. Five Guys?”

“Baby, I have to eat something first to have enough stamina for that.”

“Oh my god, you –,”

He bites you on your earlobe again, grinning as he comes behind you to nudge you down the hall. “I know what you meant. I’m down for burgers, but I want, like, five.”

“Me too. Carry me? My feet hurt.”

“Of course, mah kwehn,” he nods as he scoops you up across his broad shoulders, momentarily taking on the affectation of Jon Snow and his loyalty to the dragon queen. 

You’re working to kick your heels off as he marches the two of you down the hallway and you’ve nearly gotten your second heel off (the first in your lap) when he suddenly stops. 

“Oi, Thomas, we’re not at the train station yet,” you grumble as you reach for your heel, awkwardly tucked under you and his arm. “Keep it going. Choo choo, you know?” 

He still isn’t moving. You frown up at him, another transportation joke at the ready, but his wide-eyed stare gives you pause. 

“What are you looking at?” You turn in his arms, hunger now officially twisting your stomach painfully. “Why’d you–,”

Your mouth falls open. 

Beyond two double doors at the end of the hall sits a silver cart, loaded with tiny chocolate desserts. 

You swallow the spit flooding your mouth. This time, his stomach grumbles as if to add to the argument. 

“Dieter, put me down.” He all but drops you. 

“Dieter, we can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“We shouldn’t.” 

“Why?”

“You’re only saying that because we’re both high as fuck right now and I’d eat bathroom soap if I could.” 

That seems to rattle him out of his starvation-induced stupor. He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Please, when have I ever not eaten something I wasn’t supposed to?” 

You blink up at him, now several inches shorter without your heels. “What? None of that made sense.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going for it.” 

He strides past a very wide hallway branching back towards the lobby of the hotel, no doubt where several waiters intended to roll dessert out to the waiting reception. They’d be back at any second, but either due to being higher than a kite, his own innate lack of shame, or a combination of the two, Dieter is across the hallway in seconds and he snatches up two of the little chocolate spheres and shoves them both into his mouth at the same time.

“Holy shit, they’re cream puffs.” 

Your hunger nearly doubles you over. “C-cream puffs? Those are m-my–,”

“Your favorite. I know. Mhmm, fucking get over here.”

Trembling from a lack of food and nerves, you slink over to him, hand out-stretched. He’s already had four more by this point and he’s stacking more onto a single plate as your fingers squish around one right in front of you. You pinch and the gooey white cream eases out the side. You whimper. 

Dieter pauses, the tips of his fingers stained with dark chocolate and a dollop of cream on his cheek. 

“That’s the sound you make when I eat you out.” 

Rather than answer your boyfriend, you pop the cream puff into your mouth. Your eyes roll back in your head as the pastry melts on your tongue.

“Oh fuuuck.” 

Dieter watches with growing concern as you scarf down pastry after pastry. “Okay, now I’m a little offended you’re so turned on by this.” 

“Shut up, and let me eat.” 

In minutes, the silver cart is empty. Chocolate smeared across a dozen haphazardly-arranged plates, dots of cream littering the spaces between plates and on the edge of the cart, it looks like a fucking war zone of confectionery. 

You find yourself breathing heavy, your face and arms covered in the guts of those poor, poor baked goods. Dieter isn’t faring much better, his jacket stained and beard sticky. Your hunger is sated, for now, but you think of burgers and fries and a vanilla milkshake and immediately turn to Dieter, who stares back at you with wide eyes.

“I want six burgers–,”

“We should probably leave before we start a scandal–,”

You stare at each other, soldiers shell-shocked, rehabilitated werewolves in horror of their bloodshed. Bloodlust.

The second you get home you’re gonna give him the kind of blow job that stops his heart.

Half-way laughing, half-way crying, you take him by the collar, further smearing chocolate over the starched white linen and his neck, and kiss him soundly on his conspicuous mouth. He giggles through the kiss and cups your cheeks, his massive hands sticky and warm. 

“We should go . . .” he murmurs again before pressing his lips to you again. Cream puffs or no, it all tastes better when you lick it off the corner of his mouth. 

“We’re gonna have to walk past the lobby,” you bemoan into his patchy beard. Dieter smirks and without warning, squeezes your right tit, leaving a very clear chocolatey handprint on your dress. 

“Dieter!”

“C’mon, baby, I wanna devour you. And I want all of them to know it.”

That was the thing about Dieter Bravo, he never did anything small. He never allowed you to feel small. He was obsessive about taking pictures of you, posting them everywhere, never ashamed of you and desperate to have the world see you the way he did. 

Like you were delicious. 

“I’ll buy you six burgers if you let us walk out like this.”

“Deal.” 

Grinning like only a man with nothing to hide can, he takes you by the hand and leads you back towards the very fancy dinner you’ve both no doubt been kicked out of. 

Something rises up in you the longer you stare at his broad back. 

“Dieter, wait.”

He pauses, turns, and crumbles slightly beneath the weight and intensity of your kiss.

“I love you,” you say before he can slip his tongue into your mouth. 

Dieter Bravo does nothing small, is nothing small. Except when it’s just you and him and the words you just uttered hang in the air between you. A small, hesitant smile expands across his lips, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing but it warms him nonetheless.

“I love you too.” 

He kisses your nose and you sigh into him. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him. But then you might just eat him alive.

“Burgers, Dieter.”

“Right, right. How many do you think we can buy at one time?” 

You both ignore the paparazzi and their cameras as you walk hand in hand, your heels in your other hand, with Dieter out the front door and into the limo, arguing about which fast food joint would let you get at least twenty burgers. 

Nothing about Dieter Bravo is small. Especially his appetite. 

[masterbuilderintern]

Would you be able to share your Axel headcanons? 👀👀👀👀 I am intrigued.

Congrats you just opened my insanity box.

-Axel shows a lot of symptoms of neglect through hating his own emotions or just a simple scene of him being afraid to outright ask for something from Jesse. Almost all of the scenes I'm thinking of are meant to be jokes but they aren't really funny to me. I take this game WAY too seriously, it's a little embarrassing LMAO.

He's also not nearly as aggressive as he initially seems? Like in his interactions with Lukas, he obviously hated that guy at first but he never physically hurt him. A lot of bark, but only bites if you make him.

A lot of talk just to say he totally had an okay parental figure in his life (personally think he was raised by a single mother) only to lose them very early on and absolutely nobody helped him after the fact. He idolized the griefer attitude, a life where you do whatever you want whenever, where you make your own rules. A very "hurt people hurt people" kind of life and he's not even realizing the issue.

For all members of the treehouse gang, I like to think they ended up together through their shared experience of being constantly let down by a world that should've been there for people like them. Whether it was a specific tragedy or just being a little "different" from other people, it caused them to isolate at some point in their lives.

MORE LIGHTHEARTED HEADCANONS:

-Axel has a quiet interest in brewing. Over time he became less embarrassed about it, especially with Ivor around to teach him better. In my perfect world where Axel and Olivia came along for the portal arc, Axel actually supplied the potions Lukas needed to recover from the Sky City incident.

Sure Ivor could've done it, but "It's good practice." Or that's the excuse Axel gave.

-He's also very good at sewing. Specifically, because he made that creeper mask and Enderdragon costume for Reuben. I just think it's cute. I need to do a sketch page of it but I like to think Axel has a mask collection he made himself.

Axel comes off as a tank main that subclasses as a healer to me.

-Petra is the coolest person ever to him. Even after he gets to know her. He had this unrealistic idea of her for a while but after getting to know her found out they share a lot in a much deeper way than just "the fighters." It changed how he saw her but for the better.

It's almost like when you have an older sister you idolize and when you grow up you still look up to her but you're also aware that she's just a person.

-He's always bickering with Olivia, like all the time. But if anything happened to her he'd become a serial killer real fast.

LESS FUNNY HEADCANONS:

-Axel took brewing more seriously after the F-Bomb incident. He never wants to be in a situation where he doesn't know what to do when someone is hurt ever again.

-Also, Axel has definitely been desensitized to death, he was way too normal about people killing themselves in Boom Town. My man has been THROUGH IT. Well, desensitized to STRANGERS dying, anyway.

-Jesse went with Olivia to Redstonia and Axel went to Boom Town alone. This symbolizes two things. One: It's a really big moment where he admits he's grown to trust Lukas a lot more to keep an eye out for survivors and fortify HQ by himself. Two: Boom Town made Axel realize how flippant he's been with his own safety, and how much he needs to start caring more because he has people in his life now that he doesn't want to lose.

[pwnyta]

Judging Fifis twinks from Twisted Wonderland!

Riddle Rosehearts (goofy ass name) I dont completely hate it? But I feel like theres a lot more you could do with the Queen of Hearts. The boots are pretty sick but they look like theyre too big for him.

BEST OUTFIT- The cool wizard drip. Says nothing of the character he represents but its cunty.

Overall- 6/10

Ace! Not the best Ace ive seen TBH and those shoes are ugly as hell.... but I like his plucky attitude.

Best outfit- Weird little matador? outfit. I also found out the cool wizard outfit from Riddle is a standard outfit they all? get.... so...

Overall- 5/10

Deuce (naturally)... did Riddle steal all the good shoes... what is happening? IDK man hes like... that standard anime dude with short black hair.

Best outfit- Goofy ass white rabbit outfit. Its horrible but I like seeing serious characters go through silly shit with a straight face.

Overall- 7/10 (hard carried by the bunny outfit.)

Cater? What the hell kinda name is that... ugly shoes again... but I kinda like his overall design better. Im disappointed their main outfits are all the same. i guess it makes sense since theyre the Card knights (im guessing) so theyre all uniform in a sense... BUT IT GIVES ME NOTHING TO WORK WITH.

Best outfit- I guess the weird band outfit... LMAO I wish the boots had a trim or something but its fine.

Overall- 5/10

Honestly at this point I can say he looks the most interesting of the card set. LMAO... I judge that his hat isnt fitting his head normal but w/e at this point.

Best outfit- BY FAR THE BEST OUTFIT IVE SEEN SO FAR. His hat still looks too small for his head but I see the vision Trey. CONGRATS. Fifi maybe you were right.

Overall- 8/10!

Leona is a breath of fresh air after those damn card guys! His outfit is still kinda goofy hes like hes serving in the attitude department and his jewelry looks nice...

Best outfit- Hes actually got a great selection! I chose the Nightmare suit cuz the stitched coat, the eyepatch, the tux fit.. CUNTY.

Overall- Honestly? 10/10. Well done Fifi.

??? JACK??? Who the fuck is HE supposed to be??? I mean i guess hes fine???

Best outfit- This gay little sailor outfit with or without the gay little coat. I woulda chose the pirate drip but its the same as Scars and Scar wore it better.

Overall- ???? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???

Im guessing this is one of the Hyenas... Im gonna believe it to be Ed that way I can be forgiving of him lookin like a little gooby. Hes actually pretty cute but obligatory (if youre from Africa why are you white).

Best outfit- Hes got some good drip... but the JP fit is 10/10.

Overall- 9/10. I like him hes cute.

Oh I know a fan favorite when I see it.... and with good reason dripped the fuck out from the jump. All in purple and black! SERVING.

Best outfit- I guess its not much of an outfit but it looks sick!

Overall- 9.5/10 Im not letting him beat Scar tho.

Gasp... HIS POOPSIES. I prefers Jade refinement over Floyds goofy shit... but I mean theyre basically the same. At least theyre cool about it.

Best outfits- I hate to give it to the classy JP drip but... here we are. I also like his...'apple boa?' fit and his like... camping gear? With the yellow hat. Floyds outfits arent as good. So I just chose the white tux. I guess Jade is the favorite twin.

Overall- 8.5 and 7 /10 respectively.

Kalim.... Im gonna be honest with you... he reminds me visually of one of my OWN characters so hes kinda my favorite now. But TBF his drip is out of this world anyways so good for him. IDK who hes supposed to be im assuming Iago.

Best outfit- I kinda like him all... Im choosing the big sweater because thats something Lee would wear LMAO But I like the white and gold, I like the wolf outfit, the crop top lion outfit, etc.

Overall- 10/10 (Better than Scar.)

Jamil... Youre not fooling me. I know Pike Queen Lucy when i see her... Im guessing Jafar due to snake aesthetics (or Pike Queen Lucy for the same reason) Terrific!

Best outfit- Honestly I dont so much like the tight pants with it but its still really pretty. Lotta great paterns! Hes got a good wardrobe!

Overall- 9/10. Jafar is serving AS PER USUAL.

...Elsa? Gotta say babes its gonna be hard to follow the Aladdin duo... they were cunty all the way through. And blue/red is a rough start my mans.

Worst outift- LMAO I actually didnt like ANY of his outfits and i found out hes the EVIL QUEEN FROM SNOW WHITE!? THEY MADE THE EVIL QUEEN THE CUNTRESS HERSELF THIS LAME?!

DISHONOR ON YOU!!!!

But this Lion King outfit on him so horrendous. LMAO

Overall- 0/10....

The way I audibly sighed and went 'what you YOU want' Ive been disheartened by the Evil Queen... IDK who this even is... The Mirror perhaps?

Best outfit- At least hes got a couple cute outfits. This one is the cutest.

Overall- 6.5/10 (I cant unsee the buff thing...)

====================

END OF pt 1

[actualbird]

//cn spoilers

been watching and playing billiards a lot recently and i have to say: ARTEM FUCKING WING WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RESPECT THE GAME I'M SO PISSED-

https://twitter.com/nxx_eun_03/status/1672893389510176768

The only situation where he might be on the table like this is if he can't hit the q ball (white one) but from the positioning, HE CAN HIT IT JUST FINE WITHOUT GETTING ON THE TABLE LIKE THIS.

Next and my biggest issue: What the actual fuck is that arm positioning. Congrats Artem, I hate it.

If he's going to hit like that it messes up aim. he might hit the ball too low or it might not even hit the balls he wanted to. In the video, he did hit too low, and maybe with a bit too much force. The ball is going to bounce and completely miss the ball he's trying to hit if it's anywhere near the q ball, but even if it didn't bounce it's going to completely fuck up his shot.

IN FACT HE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THAT POSITION TO START WITH. The only time when you have the pole raised higher than barely above the table is when you have a ball near the q ball and you're trying to avoid touching it by accident (that's a foul). THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING HE MIGHT ACTUALLY HIT SO ARTEM IS MESSING UP HIS SHOT FOR NO REASON WHAT IS HE DOING

AAAAAAAAAYAPAYPAOTAOTARIR --having a meltdown

hi rose! and jhVKJHAFHASFHSAKJFAHAHAHAHAA I SAW THE ARTEM CARD YESTERDAY YEAH BUT OMG IM LOSING IT AT HIS POSTURE BEING PRAGMATICALLY HORRIBLE

i dont know anything about billiards but when i first saw this, my thought process was first "WOW, HOT"

and then "...sir is the leg on the table really necessary?"

now with ur professional opinion that it is Not necessary, this card cg is making me laugh a lot more kjHVKSJHFVJSHDF. like do not get me wrong he is still So Very Hot, but artem. my man. u r gonna mess up this shot and also pull a muscle or something LMAO

the only possible reason i can see for doing this is for sheer Attractiveness Intimidation towards the other player. i mean, if i was going against a hot guy like this and he posed so bombastically uhhhhh Like This, i'd be so flabbergasted and flustered that i'd mess up my next shot easily. JKHVSKJFHVAKHFAK

that or its fanservice (it's most definitely fanservice) and i cant complain about that because as a fan....i am Definitely served

funny thing, i wasnt looking much at his leg personally. i was uh. looking at his hand. uh. i made one (1) very not safe 4 work tweet about his hand on twt and then i decided to stop looking at the card altogether because i wld become increasingly More unhinged if i continued

sidenote: i adore the name of this event "Cue of the Champions" it's so dang clever!!

sidenote 2: im excited because didnt the first series of Alternate Activities/Occupations Solo SSR Events finish already (tailor marius, perfumer vyn, firefighter luke, racecar artem)? is this a SECOND series of Alternate Activities/Occupations Solo SSR Events???? and given how artem's is our first and is of a much more formal aesthetic than the racecar one, am i correct in assuming (i.e. HOPING) that this 2nd series will follow the pattern of artem and luke having a more formal activity (since in the 1st one they had the more 'rugged' activities) this time around, and then marius and vyn getting a more rugged activity to complete the reversal??????

sidenote 3: doES THAT MEAN WE MIGHT GET LUKE IN A SUIT FOR HIS SOLO SSR IN THIS SERIES????????? AAAAAAAA PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAAASSEEE

sidenote 4: sorry this ask about artem ended up with me thinking about luke. my neural pathways lead back to luke like how all roads lead to rome. jhvJHVKJDFVJKDSF

[finniestoncrane]

I'm here for a blind date

Im so sorry for the late request 😭

I've lost track of the days and time.

I'm a 26 year old man, Gay, and I work as a mailman, tying to save up for college. I'm 5'8, wear glasses, brownish red shaggy hair, some stubble.

I'm very anxious, people pleaser, clumsy, kinda dense ngl. Someone can tell me something and it's not guaranteed to get through my brain. I'm not too smart lmao. I'm nice, generally willing to help anyone. I consider myself a hardworking, picking up slack, I don't leave things half-assed.

I do have some issues with trust, I'm generally overly cautious approaching any relationship. Whether it be platonic or romantic.

I like collecting pins, tinkering with things, birds, photography, comics, gardening, and interior design to an extent.

Congrats on 1.5k!

-🦦

💜 blind date 💜 the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: is it normal to get jealous of you for a date i wrote? no? ok then💚

"Oh great! Hi! Welcome to the Vill-Inn. I'm so glad you're here and not at all annoyed because if you hadn't showed up I was going to steal your seat! Enjoy your meal, I guess."

A strange welcome, but when you get to your table, you realise why the wait staff might have been planning on swooping in and stealing your date. Sitting across from you is a mass of hulking muscles attached to a stoney, but handsome, face.

"I am... well, most people call me Bane."

He offers you his hand and you take it, surprised by how gentle the hold is, though it's clear he's making a very conscious effort to withhold his strength. Bane seems shy, and really self-conscious, and you suppose you would too if you were bigger and taller than everyone around you. But he is polite, and surprisingly sweet.

The first thing he says to you, beyond introductions, is how much he likes your glasses. It's clear that he's been thinking of a compliment that isn't invasive, or that could backfire. You can tell how anxious he is, being very anxious yourself, so you try and ease up the tension, saying thank you, apologising for being a bit awkward, giving the whole 'I'm very anxious' spiel.

"Oh. That's... me too. I suppose we can be anxious together, si?"

Bane asks how you ended up on a blind date, and you explain that you felt like meeting someone new. You usually find it difficult, given that you're quite cautious and have trust issues, but that you figured it couldn't do you any harm. And this seems to resonate with him.

"I don't have many friends, or other relationships. Trust is a difficult thing to come by."

As he opens up, you realise you both have a lot more in common than you even could have realised. Both clumsy, although for Bane it comes with his size and strength, both a little bit lacking in the self-confidence department when it comes to intelligence. And you can see him breaking into a small smile when you tell him that you hate half-assing anything.

"I can be relentless too. Although... I mean, I won't push you for a second date... unless you want to... have one?"

You definitely do, and you're even more excited when he asks if you'll go bird-watching with him. That way, you can show off your photography skills. He might describe himself as dense, but he's picked up on everything you've said over the evening, unable to focus on anything but you. A very good sign.

[asmo-cosmetics]

okay so we know how satans deal in nightbringer is kinda weird in terms of age yeah? like hes technically only 1 year old at the beginning of nb but he has the body and mind of a full grown adult...like he was born as an already grown ass man even thouh hes only 1 year old? idk if that makes him the opposite of luke cause luke is over a thousand but has the body of a child...anyway the point is i was thinking about how the brothers have said that they all raised satan together? lucifer apparently did the most work raising him but all of them kinda chipped in ig? okay so imagine...they are teaching him about sex and sex stuff. teaching him how to make out and showing him how to masterbate and how to touch himself and touch them and ummmmm yum yum!

well congrats you have stumbled into my intricate web of satan headcanons so now you get to hear about that.

his age is so funny to me because i do have a personal take that I think makes sense but he's (a) chronologically the youngest but (b) the fourth "born" into the devildom as a servant of the demon king but also (c) technically the oldest demon of the brothers i think?? because he was born as fully a demon while the others were all still falling/turning?? but anyway

in my mind satan is effectively the same age as lucifer. or, at least, everything about lucifer that was "wrong" for an angel. lucifer's doubt is what became the wrath that became satan, and like here's the thing, that's canon? it's so weird to me how the fandom interpretation of his birth is "lucifer had feelings so hard that one time that he made a feelings baby" when the actual lore is so much cooler??

like, satan was born from defeat. from lucifer's wrath leaving his body as he fell. like maybe he was freed by feeling such disgust with his failure, or maybe he knew that he existed out of lucifer's desire to protect lilith and he was able to free himself because he wanted to give lucifer a better chance of saving her.

satan came to exist through the slow, steady churn of decay that happens when you make something as pure and as powerful as lucifer and tell it the injustice it is experiencing is righteous. satan isn't just wrath, he's lucifer's wrath, specifically, with all of that developing morality and edge-case sanity still in him like chewed gum. no wonder he's born hating his creator when his entire existence has been torture.

which is another thing, i fully believe satan remembers being a part of lucifer. not completely, more like spotty feelings and vibes, maybe a few specific moments. But Whatever

point is a case could be made that he's old as shit. i think he was created as an adult because he'd objectively already existed too long to be a child.

i do like your idea though now that i'm done with whatever that was. my instinct is to say the person he would go to the first time he got confused with something like that would be asmo, but then i went oh but lucifer would be fun or even mammon, but then i realized we're talking about satan, who would clearly first and foremost consult the library.

imagine at first he's purely researching like demon anatomy and biology to figure out what's happening to him and then gradually getting more and more into romance and then that's how whichever brother finds out what's going on. lmao but really do tell me more. which brother would you want it to be first etc.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Lando Norris and [Y/n] [Y/l/n]'s rivalry takes a different turn in Miami

yourusername THANK YOU TO MY TEAM, ALL THE REDBULL FANS AND MY TEAMMATE MAX (sorry to beat ur ass lol) MY FIRST VICTORY IN FORMULA 1 I LOVE YOU GUYS

view all comments

username1 Chill girlie, it's just a sprint race win

username2 And people were shitting on Redbull for dropping Checo for a rookie 😭 you showed them, been on the podium almost every weekend and got the first win so quick

carlossainz55 Congrats 👏 🥇

↳yourusername THANK YOU 💪

↳username3 Carlos and Y/n are literally the only drivers who managed to beat Max this season and may I add she's a rookie

username4 Redbull knew what they were doing

redbullracing Our golden girl🏆

↳yourusername 💙💙

maxverstappen1 It was my pleasure to see you win💪

↳yourusername Get ready to see it more often

username5 I wonder how Lando feels knowing that a girl rookie got a win before him

↳username6 same thing happened last year when Oscar won sprint 😭 guess he won't do anything about it

↳username4 He's crying probably lmao

username7 📞God's calling he says we should have more girls in Formula 1

charles_leclerc A victory in your rookie year is always special🥳🥳

↳yourusername I love it 😭

oscarpiastri Party when?

↳yourusername After I win the race tomorrow 😇 unless you can tell Lando to get his shit together and try to beat me

username5 I love the fact that Y/n and Oscar are friends, Oscar is friends with Lando, and for some reason Y/n and Lando seem to hate each other

username8 I've heard there's some story behind the whole Y/n Lando thing 😭

username6 WHAAAAAT?

username8 So apparently when they were kids, like 15 or smth, one of them had a crush on the other one, but it didn't work out hence enemies now

username6 I'll assume Lando had a crush on Y/n cuz there's no way one could have a crush on a 15yo Lando Norris lmao

username9 And here I was thinking Y/n was just angry about how Lando almost crashed into her a few races ago

username10 sameeee lmao it was so funny to see them argue in the paddock

username9 Yeah and seeing them the weekends after this incident I was like miss girl just likes to hold grudges over things that happen in F1 from time to time lmao

landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. PT 1🏆

view all comments

oscarpiastri Well done man 👏👏👏

alex_albon Congrats!!! 💪👏

georgerussell63 Congrats mate!!!

username1 All I know is he read the comments under Y/n's post 😭

username2 Y/n's victory pissed him too much lmao

yourusername I guess it's not too much for the little Lando Norris anymore

↳landonorris he's not so little anymore

yourusername Shame I wasn't on the podium with you tho

landonorris do better next time then lol

username3 LANDO HAHAHAAH

username4 His villain era starts

yourusername Anyway I'm glad to be your motivation

username5 No cuz I'd also love to see Y/n and Lando on the podium together

↳username6 Y'all talk about the podium together but I'd love to see them in the cool down room together lmao

username5 That'd be gold man, I'd pay millions to be a fly in the room if it ever happened

username7 @/yourusername stop pretending you're not in love with Lando

username7 Actually guys stop pretending you're not in love with each other @/yourusername @/landonorris

↳username8 THIS FEELS SO PERSONAL LMAO

username1 I love a good enemies to lovers story

username2 ARE THEY OKAY?

username3 I saw a video of Max being at the party so I assumed Y/n was there also BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED

username4 Nah cuz why's the kiss so passionate 😭

username5 girl is living the Wattpad life

username6 now she isn't rejecting him 👀

↳username7 you mean HE isn't rejecting HER now

username8 Do you know something we don't? 🤨

username7 actually yes, Max as in Lando's Max (not Y/n's Max) went live on Twitch yesterday and he said something along the lines of young Lando rejecting young Y/n

username8 Nahhhh this is even better now

username9 I just know that other drivers will make fun of them after this

username10 I wonder how will they act now? Will they pretend the video doesn't exist?

↳username11 I feel like nothing will change, same hatred, same rivalry (even more now after both of their wins)

username12 I assume it was just a moment of weakness induced by the emotions

username11 And alcohol

username13 there's no way it didn't end in the hotel bed lol

username14 I'm tired of pretending I wasn't waiting for this to happen

username15 it feels like a fever dream lmao

yourusername We deserved a New York trip after the victories

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oscarpiastri This doesn't feel real

↳username1 exactly my thoughts 😭

landonorris well deserved, well enjoyed

↳yourusername You're not that terrible to be around, did you know that?

landonorris i'm still adjusting to your presence, can't say the same

yourusername Mean :(

landonorris i love you :)

yourusername Nice :)

username2 HE SAID THE BIG WORDS

username3 Ladies and gentlemen, Lando 'I don't wanna mature' Norris has matured

username4 God my brain can't comprehend what the hell happened

carlossainz55 The IT couple 👏🏆

↳landonorris of course

↳username5 Seems like they've been teaching Carlos the gen z expressions 😭

username6 I will miss the rivalry between them

↳username2 you really think it'll end?

username6 Yeah they'll go soft on each other

username2 Y/n is the second most competitive on the grid after Max, I don't think the rivalry between her and Lando will end 😂

maxfewtrell Finally

↳yourusername My 15yo self would say the same if she ever knew

maxverstappen1 @/landonorris pls don't affect her performance

↳landonorris pls let me be the cause of redbull's downfall, I've been plotting for years

yourusername It's not like I'll go easy on you now that you're my boyfriend

landonorris mean :(

yourusername I love you :)

landonorris nice :)

georgerussell63 Congrats on finally admitting your feelings guys

↳charles_leclerc We all knew it'll happen, we just didn't know when 😂

pierregasly @/charles_leclerc you owe me McDonald's

↳charles_leclerc We'll go after the season ends

landonorris you guys had a bet?

yourusername Of course they did, I'm so not surprised

charles_leclerc Max also participated.

yourusername @/maxverstappen1⁉️

maxverstappen1 I did participate in the bet...

yourusername How could you betray me like this!!

maxverstappen1 I like maccas, it convinced me

maxverstappen1 But we're all very happy for you if that makes it any better

yourusername Let's say it does...

landonorris i say we should beat his ass on the next race

yourusername I agree, it's settled 🏁 Max Emilian Verstappen, get ready to from now on forever be behind a mclaren and your fellow redbull

[misspearly1]

Hello my love 😍

Congrats on being on this crazy site a year and blessing us with your amazing work. So proud to call you a friend 💕😘

Ok so….I have a request 😜 I have been in my Ezra feels lately and would love a little something written for him, if you don’t mind. Please and thank you ☺️

I was hoping to have something soft and sweet with a good mixture of smut 😜 (been a lil down about my body lately, happens quite often since I had kids. It’s just not the same and although my husband says I’m beautiful and I’m forever grateful for it for giving me my babies, I’m human.) Anyway, if I could get these prompts please for my comfort character Ezra 🙏

23. I love your body,baby.Everything you hate about it is what drives me crazy.

50. You're so beautiful...so,so beautiful...

It’s also by bday this weekend so it would be a double whammy and I would be forever grateful to you 😍🙌

You can of course completely ignore it if you don’t vibe with it because I know how it is with requests, I won’t be offended.

Ok that’s it, love ya bitch 😍🤘

Char!! The number of times I've wanted to drop in your inbox and be like 'bitch, guess what?' I stop myself because I worry that the word bitch isn't coming across as affectionate as I intend it to be lmao 🤣.

Ohh, yes! All good vibes, all good vibes. I'm loving this request and I've really enjoyed typing something up for you! You are beautiful my dear and I understand sometimes that when someone tells you so, it just doesn't quite sink in the way you hope it does. You gotta feel beautiful and I think I've got something in mind to help with that. 🥰

Thank you for sending something in! Happy Birthday and love ya too bitch 😉.

A Man of My Word

Send Me Requests (supplied prompts)

Pairing: Ezra (propsect) x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Content. Minors DNI. Insecurities. Self-conscious reader. Ezra being a gentleman and a tease. Lots of compliments and lots of fluff. Hints to Sex. Fade to black oral sex.

Prompts: "I love your body, baby. Everything you hate about it is what drives me crazy." // "You're so beautiful...so,so beautiful..." (I changed baby, to moonbeam instead. Hope that's okay, my love).

-

Stepping out of the shower as fresh as a daisy, the smile on your lips faded as soon as you looked in the mirror and you stepped forward to take a closer look.  

The image staring back at you felt wrong. It didn't look like you, didn’t feel like you and disgust quickly began to settle in the more you observed. It was only yesterday that you stepped out of the shower and adored the image of your body in the mirror. You looked as pretty as a picture and felt sexy, today however, you can’t say the same. 

It’s both scary and intriguing to see the differences in the span of twenty-four hours. You turn to look at your body from behind and the expression on your face worsens. You don’t like what you see. You don’t like the extra weight in areas where it shouldn’t be, don’t like the cellulite and the stretch marks. They didn’t stand out like this yesterday, or maybe you just didn’t notice them as easily as you do right now. 

Shaking your head while also attempting to shake off your sudden insecurities, the sound of Ezra cleaning his throat startles you and you turn swiftly to see the man sitting on the edge of the bed. You didn’t know he was there, but you should have known better because almost every time you run the shower, he rushes into the bedroom to watch you bathe. He loves to gaze at your physique, watching the water cascade like a waterfall down your body, rolling off the end of your breasts is especially his favourite part. You should have known he’d be watching you, it’s actually why you subconsciously leave the door open. 

“Do you require my assistance, little dove?” He asks, calling you out immediately for the way you just looked at yourself in the mirror. “Whatever it was that you think you saw, it’s not real. The cruel workings of the mind are just playing tricks on your eyes.”

“I don’t think it’s my mind playing tricks on me,” You shake your head with a small smile, “But I appreciate what you’re saying. Thank you, Ez.” You turn to face the sink, avoiding the mirror as you reach for the towel on the rack to cover yourself up. 

“Leave it,” Ezra calls out softly, “Leave it and come to me in your bare form, moonbeam. I wish to remind you of your beauty.” 

“Ez really, it’s okay. It’s nothing to wor-” You cut yourself when you turn to look at him again and see the expression on his face. It speaks of passion and desire, his eyes feral and dark as if he were starving and you were a delicious meal. It makes your cheeks burn a little before the memory of what you saw in the mirror pops back into your mind and snatches your blush to replace it with embarrassment instead. You felt embarrassed to be nude in front of him. 

“Come to me, Y/N,” He asks again, this time holding both his arms out persuasively, “I vow to exile what plagues your mind and restore your confident glow.” He promises, to which you scoff and use humour to deflect your sadness. “You vow to exile what plagues my mind? Oh, okay. Didn’t know you were a wizard, Ez.” 

“Yes, I do. Cross my heart and hope to die.” Ezra whispers as you walk towards him slowly, “My word is my honour, is it not, moonbeam?” He reaches out and holds your hips firmly, resting his chin against your stomach as he looks up into your eyes. “You're so beautiful…” He sighs breathily, his brows knitting together as he tugs his lip between his teeth. “So, so beautiful.” 

“You think I’m beautiful, Ez,” You reply, your lip pouting a little as his compliment was gratefully appreciated, but it just doesn’t seem to penetrate the thick cloud of insecurities hanging above your head as much as you hoped it would. There are days where you feel as beautiful as he claims you to be, and there are days where you don’t feel attractive enough to justify the way he looks at you; he looks at you like you’re the most magnificent lady he’s ever laid eyes on. 

Though, you still felt self-conscious, and the man heard you loud and clear. He could see that you needed something more to help make you see clearly, so in order to help, he asked: “What don’t you think looks beautiful in the mirror, moonbeam?” 

“Um…” You hesitate, not expecting him to ask you to point out and shine a light on what exactly makes you feel insecure, but you like the approach and answer honestly. “This, those and that,” You pointed everything out for him, and of course, Ezra had his spectacular way with words to reassure your doubts. “I love your body, moonbeam. Everything you hate about it is what drives me crazy.” He growls with a voice thick like sweet honey, “Your cellulite is as pretty as the dimples in your smile. Your stretch marks are the signs of a life lived and these-” He grabs the extra supple flesh on your hips with a smirk. “-These are my handles, my guidance system, my leverage that I cling onto for dear life.” 

“Ezra!” You bark out a giggle while shaking your head at him, as if you were disappointed but your blushing smile said otherwise. His different approach worked. It makes you laugh genuinely and forget about what bothers you for a moment, and to keep you in this positive mood, he offers. “I would be glad to demonstrate my point. More than glad as a matter of fact,” He emphasizes his words by groping your hips, grabbing handfuls of the flesh with that same hungry look in his dark brown eyes. Your falls open with a surprised sound slipping past your lips as he plants a kiss above your mound. “I’ve not yet fulfilled my vow and I have many more ways to restore that glow, moonbeam.” 

“Oh, you do?” You ask, to which he nods eagerly and plants another kiss, this time lowering to the hairs on your mound. “I do indeed, little dove-” He slips off the bed and falls to his knees, giving you a glimpse of the growing tent in his slacks as he drinks in the sight of your burning heat directly in his face. A shuddering exhale escapes him, his face softening with desire and sheer need before licking his lips. It’s as if he could already taste what he’s so desperately hungry for. He looks up and the irises of his eyes expand with love and adoration as he teases:

“I’m a man of my word, am I not?”

-

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[praecurokat]

Ted Lasso Finale Thoughts- So Long, Farewell... (I do not know what to think!)

this episode being an hour and 15 minutes..after being released at midnight... that's just cruel.. my brain cannot operate properly under such conditions..

congrats Tedbecca shippers! oop watched more.. sorry Tedbecca shippers...

most normal Beard and Jane appearance in the series at Rebecca’s house in the beginning

writers were bringing the dramatic flair in this episode! first that thing with Isaac dressed as a judge in the beginning, and then a musical number! idk how i feel about that..

speaking of the musical number, i must regretfully inform the masses that idk what the song is from.. pls lmk in the comments.. i see that it relates to the episode title

ah yes Jane acting totally normal by shredding Beard's passport.. total ✨ marriage material ✨

Trent's shirt says sat 17 may.. could this be significant?? everything in this show is..

"You know, that might be a tasty little treat for the diamond dogs.” “No. No. No. No!”-Roy, soon to become a Diamond Dog in a moment of desperation

wait did Trent name his manuscript the lasso way awww

“I only got into this to ruin Rupert's life, and he seems to be doing a pretty good job of that himself.”- Rebecca

So. Many. Throwbacks. Keeley saying “Is everybody decent?”, Jamie using lots of axe body spray like S1, the cleaner walking in on everyone, and way more i can’t think of

the complicated web that is royjamiekeeley is still being spun.. in the last episode..

“Must be awful for them, lying awake at night, haunted by how fucking easy they’ve had it!”- Mae, to Rebecca’s mom

Trent watching Ted read his book.. heart eyes emoji

the way Ted looks at him.. i meannn is this even subtext anymore?

“So you do laugh, but you don't do it until page.. 43?! And it wasn't even a big laugh!”- Trent, while Ted is reading his manuscript

"Whatever happens on Sunday, I want you to know I’m proud of you. All the work you’ve put in this year."- Roy to Jamie, before proceeding to fistfight with him later

Both Roy and Jamie seem very contemplative this ep. What are they thinking??

i am so concerned about the current royjamie feud over Keeley... what is gonna happen here???

“Would you please stay?” and “I know, I just had to try.”- Rebecca, about Ted

lmao Keeley kicking both Roy and Jamie out after they asked her to choose

“You stay put, Trenthouse magazine. You’re part of the squad now.”- Ted, to Trent

“Yeah. Someone better. Can people change?”- Roy, also this is a central tenet of this damn show

“I don’t think we change per se, as much as we just learn to accept who we’ve always been, you know?” -Trent’s most beautiful quote thus far

aww Nate finally got his diamond dogs reaction to Jade

George being Rupert’s coach sent me.. like you Really couldn’t find anyone else?

I hate Rupert but I love his dramatic slay coat swish moments.. again reminds me of Uther’s drama queen antics

“I prefer rugby, there’s just more grown men throwing other grown men into the air like children. And blood. Which is nice." - Barbara

Bloodthirsty and mysterious? Barbara is a serial killer or vampire confirmed.

“Never forget, I am always inside you.” -Zava’s note, which also came with a giant avocado

Zorro has truly entered his superhero arc and Dani Rojas is his genius creator

the fourth thing has to be 'Believe'.. aand it was? Right?

AFC Richmond Women’s club.. i sense a spinoff show opportunity…. or they could just do a show about Trent

George has begun a redemption arc!! (Telling Rupert to fuck off)

Rupert's desperation and misery at the end is not entirely unreminiscent of Rebecca at the start of S1

yesss Colin got his kiss on the pitch!!

haha the same? person from S1E1 taking pics w Ted in the airport

damn so Beard’s going home too, thought Jane would've locked him away in a safe or smth… nvm

omg Amsterdam man has a child.. hmmm Rebecca’s prophecy may still be fulfilled

Roy becoming manager feels natural

Ofc Trent renamed his book ‘The Richmond Way’… never let them know your next move

that montage at the end…so much to process....

beardjane wedding marking the end of the series.. good or bad omen for the future? i think bad

seems very fitting the series ending the opposite of how it began.. Rupert's life ruined, Rebecca in love and not owner of the club, Roy and Jamie healing and bonding w others around them, and Ted back in America with family.

[sleepis4theweak]

FLASHBACK AU QUESTIONS, YOU SAY? FLASHBACK AU QUESTIONS YOU SHALL RECEIVE (Or at least somewhat related to the au questions...)!!

How did you originally come up with the story? Have you planned it out? Have you made any changes since you first thought of it?

What's your fav Mikey dynamic? Do you think it shows in the comic? My personal fav is PB & J duo :>>

Who's your least favorite character in the comic to draw?

Who's your favorite character to draw?

Where did Madame Bishop (I forgot her name- she had one didn't she?..was it Joanne? MAN I HAVE AMNESIA) get that scar from?

IS... IS MIKEY GONNA STAY DEAD...? 😰

Can we have a sneak peek by any chance? :3

What do you think Madame Bishop (...yeah might be Joanne...) would have been like in the doomed timeline?

ALRIGHT THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF, I'LL LEAVE YOU OFF WITH A PUN : Have you heard of the theory that no two people see color the same? I guess that would mean color is just a pigment of our imagination 🤔

YAYYAYAYAYYA THANK YOU I GOT VERY EXCITED TO ANSWER THESE YAY!

ANYWHO LONG ANSWERS BUT:

1- This was honestly supposed to be a two part comic. The entire au is based off of experiences I have had (minus the whole dying part of course) with my cousins and or brother. The first part was about Donnie and Mikey- and Mikey having the puppy dog eyes that Donnie couldn't do. That was about my cousin! It was supposed to just be like oh look Mikey can do puppy eyes. And then I saw something about how kids that struggle with understanding emotions can practice expressions in the mirror sometimes* and was like haha I should add this since it's actually something I used to do as well! THEN I wrote the line about him wanting to be the youngest and I mean... my brain went straight to "now what if Mikey dies"...

I didn't expect people to like it as much as they did tbh... so when people started to really comment on it I was like okay I should bring Mikey back to life... But then it turned into a whole au...

It's almost entirely planned out now! And most comics are still based off of stories of things that have happened with my cousins or brother! (Like how I smashed my cousins legos because I was angry at him.... its a long story lol).

*(It can also be something that kids with autism do... and someone actually pointed it out! ->)

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2- Thats a really hard one... I think my fav has to do with the situation I guess? Or how I'm feeling? But Donnie and Mikey are probably my favorite overall! But only by a teensy tiny bit.

Raph and Mikey are my favorite angst wise, and the ones I can relate to the most. Leo and Mikey are really fun, and I really like using it to explore responsibility.

I think it does show in the comic! I mean I went straight to the PB & J duo- and then with Leo and Mikey I really explored responsibility. With Raph and Mikey it was shorter, but it was a lot more emotional for me personally. And right now Raph and Mikey are really getting the spotlight. Though Leo and Mikey are the main ones in the next update! :)

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3- DONNIE. OMFG DONNIE IS SO RECTANGULAR AND ITS TERRIBLE. ITS WHY HE'S HANGING HALF IN HALF OUT OF A LOT OF FRAMES BECAUSE I HATE DRAWING HIM. I've definitely gotten better at him tho! Example for u ->

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4- I think Leo is the easiest to draw, with Mikey coming in second! My favorite to draw though is definitely Mikey. I like his mask tails :) Also he's my favorite in general hehehe

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5- LMAO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE NAME JOANNE CAME FROM IM LAUGHING SO HARD- THATS HER CANNON NAME NOW. ITS CANNON HER NAME IS DR. JOANNE BISHOP.

She got that scar from an experiment! Idk which one... but she was experimenting on something and it freaked and scratched her! :3

It isn't too important to the story, but it may add some depth/explanation to some of her reactions later on.

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6- ... lemme tell you, I have gotten this ask so many times... BUT CONGRATS I WONT DELETE THE ASK THIS TIME JUST FOR YOU <3

Usually I answer the ask, wait until I'm sure the person sending it saw my response and delete it to keep the mystery alive hehe... but I won't delete this one.

No. Mikey is not gonna stay dead. I mentioned it in the first one, but the comic was supposed to end with him maybe dead maybe not... but since the au is continuing... I don't like it when characters die :( Its sad so he was never gonna be actually dead. So yes, he will come back! Its just gonna take a bit...

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7- YOU MAY! I was considering which spoiler to give you... but I've decided to give you a big spoiler... just cropped. :) Because I'm evil like that :))

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8- Hmmm.... idk to be honest, I haven't thought about it... I think she would be just... even crazier. Like batshit insane.

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THAT PUN MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD- THANK YOU FOR THAT AND THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK IT MADE MY DAY <3