#congrats if playing/breaking’s never been a big deal but it just isn’t the case for me

[void-tiger]

I just...kinda wanna take my pictobox and run around Windfall taking pictures of people and chance shots and really weird stuff.

Or fish, dig at the excavation site, or play with trees and snuggling cows while my hippy partner plays under a tree next to the cat and doggo.

Problem? Well, neither the gamecube or wii are set up, and it just feels Wrong to do it when the bonus room’s become Dad’s office. (Especially since...y’know... I’m still neither Employed nor Student.)

[bubbledumbbinch]

Heya! Congrats on the 100+ followers!! Your writing is really good and I enjoy reading your works!

If you dont mind, what would be your headcanons on the TWST dorm leaders of what prefrences they have for a S/O? Like what would they want in an S/O? (Also Im sorry if this has already been asked Im also kinda new to your blog as well ;w;)

Hii!! And thank you 🥰🥺💕 that means a lot to me!! I hope you stay and continue to enjoy yourself here!This hasn’t been asked before so I hope you enjoy!!! ;w; I hope you all enjoy I had a fun time (and a difficult time) writing this out! I think I made it too long, again ;w;

I made this SFW uwu just some fluff!!!! But please keep in mind before you follow me, I MOSTLY POST NSFW works.

Warnings: slight story spoilers for episode 5, for Idia’s part, if u squint

Pairings: Dorm Leaders x Reader

I put things under a cut for length!!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle would probably want a partner who does well in school - at least someone who tries to! It would go against his own desires to do well in life if he has a partner who doesn’t have the drive to succeed like he does.

He isn’t particularly fond of people who have a lot of potential yet waste it on being lazy. Like I said before, it goes against his own morals.

I also see him wanting someone fun-loving! Riddle grew up in an environment where fun was essentially taboo so he would be drawn like a moth to a flame to someone who has so much energy in them. Remember one of his best childhood friends is Che’nya so he would probably not hate the idea of joking around and being silly once in a while!

Someone who would love sweets like him! Not too often so he could maintain his shape, but someone who would love to indulge him once in a while!

Riddle would love to see an S/O who makes time for him and the unbirthday parties that Heartslabyul hosts! He feels like a good dorm leader and seeing you make an effort to come makes him feel like a great boyfriend too!

“Ah, Y/N, I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to make it today.” Riddle sighed to himself in relief. He feared his rose would come to the party late. “Ah, sorry Riddle! I was late because I was studying for Professor Crewel’s exam but I lost track of time!” You breathed out, a bit exhausted from running.

The redhead only nodded and smiled at you. “Don’t worry about it, my rose. We’ve only just begun the party, so no need to fret.” Riddle’s gentlemanly ways never failed to make your heart soar. “No no, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll bake you a tart sometime, you’ll let me right?” You playfully nudged at your boyfriend’s arm and smirked.

Riddle could only blush furiously. “Th-that would not be a bad idea. I suppose I would accept the gift graciously, dear, but only if we can cook it together. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us to learn!”

Leona Kingscholar

Someone who loves to nap with him like all the time

Leona would definitely want someone who is willing to praise him a lot. Growing up he never really had that and felt like he was overshadowed by his big brother, so this guy needs validation like crazy. Tell him how strong he is, how much you love him, how warm he is… he’ll scoff and look away but you could see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He secretly loves it.

I feel like Leona would like bratty tsunderes, for some reason. He would be the perfect teasing type for them and I think I can just picture Leona and his S/O getting into play fights that lead to something more, if you catch my drift.

Someone who can be “refined” enough for show so that when he brings you home to his family, they can accept you fully. The last thing he wants is his family pestering him about how his potential mate isn’t a good fit.

As tough as he may be he def wants someone at the end of the day to stroke his head and calm him down after a long and stressful day.

“Oi, herbivore, come here and be my pillow.” Leona’s gruff voice broke the silence of his room. He was sitting up on his bed while you studied on his desk. Giggling, you made your way into his bed, crawling over to where he was. Leona pushed your torso down gently and started nuzzling his head on your chest, and you could feel the vibrations coming from his body that was like a low growl. Or was it purring?

“Of course, anything for my big strong boyfriend, the best Magift player in the school, my one and only love~” you endlessly praised him, smiling at him as if he were a rare diamond. Leona only huffed as he wrapped his muscular arms around your form, effectively preventing you from leaving.

“Tch…. Damn right….” Leona mumbled. “Why don’t you tell me more while I start drifting to sleep?” Leona smirked. Running your fingers through his hair carefully, you obliged, feeling Leona’s breathing become more calm as you continued.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would ALSO want someone who praises him, due to his years of being bullied. Call him beautiful, smart, tell him he’s the most cunning man on campus. He EATS IT UP. This man will swear on his life for you.

He also would want someone who has the ability to work hard… what? The Mostro Lounge needs extra workers sometimes! Azul thinks that if he can own the lounge, manage contracts, AND study hard for school, his S/O should be able to match him!

I can see Azul absolutely praising/spoiling his S/O too. Since you give him so much happiness in his life he should pay it forward, no? What would you like, a new dress/suit? A new piece of jewelry?

Someone !!! Loyal!!! Azul wants someone who he can feel secure with in a relationship, so he probably wouldn’t want you to flirt with anybody else since his insecurities will SPARK UP like crazy!

Azul wants someone who loves him for who he is, unconditionally!

“Angelfish… hello, good evening. I’m sorry if I am a bit more tired than usual, I just finished with ordering more inventory for the lounge and dealing with some paperwork.” Azul sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. You dropped your bags on one of the chairs of the VIP room and walked over slowly to your octomer boyfriend. Bringing your arms to his shoulders, you slowly begin to knead and massage his arms gently. Azul groaned at the contact, muscles aching.

“How is this, Azul? I know how hard you work, you deserve to take a break too, sometimes…” you spoke gently into his ear, kissing the shell of it. The contact gave him slight goosebumps. “Ah, I would love to but, I have so much more to do… I know it’s going to be a late night for me, so why don’t you head on to sleep?” You tsked, upset with his answer. “I know it’s late Azul, that’s why I’m here. You know, if you keep doing this you’ll get wrinkles, right?”

“Ahem! Well. Then, this might be a good place to stop if that’s the case…” Azul huffed, standing up quickly to retire to his room, you in tow.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim wants someone who is cheerful! They may not be a ray of sunshine like he is, but I honestly can’t picture him with someone smug/gloomy. Kalim might be dense but he isn’t THAT stupid. I think he would be able to notice if you were upset which makes him upset.

Someone who is down for anything, Kalim would love to take you on a ride on his magic carpet at random hours of the day so be prepared to drop whatever you’re doing if you want to appease your impulsive boyfriend!

A fun loving person for sure, who isn’t super self conscious about what people think. If he asks you to dance with him he would really love for you to join! He wouldn’t want you to say something like, “oh, but I’m a bad dancer…” Kalim would shake his head and ask you why you would say that! It’s all about having a fun time together, right?

A patient lover is what Kalim would want as well, someone who’s kind, too. At the end of the day when Kalim is ready to sleep after his crazy antics, he wants a partner he can be able to lay next to and feel like himself.

Someone who loves him even if he weren’t rich, Kalim would want someone for their personality and not materialistic things or beauty. Kalim sees someone for their heart ! (*´꒳`*)

You yawned heavily while rubbing your eyes. Was that a tapping noise coming from the window? “Ugh…. What time is it?” Checking your phone, you saw it was 1:30am. You also had a text from Kalim.

*tap tap tap*

You groggily walked over to the window and opened the curtains to see Kalim sitting on his magic carpet with the biggest grin upon seeing you. Opening the window, you giggled lightly. “Good evening Kalim, fancy seeing you here so late.”

“Hi, Y/N!! I woke up and felt bored so, you wanna join me on a night ride around campus?” Kalim practically beamed at you, even this late at night. His smile never failed to make your heart flutter. The boy’s positive energy also transferred to you, effectively waking you up.Stepping onto the carpet from your window was your answer. After getting situated, you kissed Kalim’s cheek and held his hand. “Of course Kalim, I would love to.”

Vil Schoenheit

Someone who can tough out his callous words and treatment. Vil might be a bit much, but the reason why he does this is because he does it with the goal of ultimately helping you. He only wants to see the best out of people, including but not limited to his little sweet potato!

Someone who is patient. He knows he checks who the most beautiful person is quite often and he doesn’t do it to annoy you, it’s just for his own personal validation issues. Lay a hand on his arm, back, or head to give him praises and let him know he’s beautiful to you no matter what.

Someone who is willing to pepper him lightly with kisses (not the face though, he has makeup on!). He definitely eats it up and loves it so much, he feels like you are treating him like a king. He’ll pay that back tenfold and give you beauty treatments, it’ll feel like you’re at the spa on a weekday!

Vil is constantly posting on Magicam, depending on whether you’re comfortable enough to be posted on there he would want to make sure you are okay with him constantly taking photos to be posted on there. Whether it be food you cooked, matching couples outfits, or even pictures of you without makeup, be ready to face comments of all sorts coming from his fans.

“Mira Mira on my phone… Currently, who is the most beautiful of all?” You heard Vil speak outside of his room. Currently you sat on the small chaise at the foot of his bed. Vil told you he needed to step out for a second, so you could get ready for bed now. After putting on your sleeping clothes, Vil finally came back in, seeming more irritated than before. His eyebrows furrowed and his body looked tense.

“Vil, are you alright?” You questioned him as you made your way to his bed, slipping under the covers. Vil only sighed and exchange a quick “Mm.” as he changed into his pajamas and came to join you. He was turned so his back was facing you and he was a bit distant. You knew he didn’t get the answer he wanted when he got those search results back. You didn’t know how to convince your boyfriend otherwise but you decided you needed to talk to him.

“Vil, darling…” you spoke gently as you nuzzled closer, your chest pressing into his back. Your arm wrapped around him to pull him closer, to which he responded with finally relaxing in your touch. “You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me, Vil, I don’t know if you realize how lucky I am to have such a loving, caring, and talented boyfriend like you. Your beauty is simply the cherry on top of the person I fell in love with. To me, you’re perfect. I love you.” You ended your tangent by placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder, dozing off.

You couldn’t see Vil but he trembled lightly as tears silently fell down his face. “Thank you… I love you too, my sweet potato.” Vil whispered into his pillow. With you, he always felt like the most beautiful person.

Idia Shroud

Personality wise, I don’t think Idia would be picky. He’s a shy person and honestly would be surprised he could get an S/O at all! So is Ortho!

Speaking of Ortho, Idia wants someone who is kind and loving to his little brother. Knowing his partner loves his brother would only make him fall for you harder!

Probably someone who would give Idia his own space until he finally felt comfortable and wanted to take it further, he would prob take a few days to even kiss you!!!

Idia wants someone to be his player 2 :) like actually, come over and game with him and he’ll probably be the happiest boy ever.

Big big bonus if you love anime, cosplay, gaming, etc. It’s one thing to be an otaku like Idia but when he has a partner to fully indulge in his interests with?? It’s a win-win situation for everyone! He wants to do a couple cosplay one day if he gets the courage to ask you.

Someone who won’t pressure him too much. If you remember how Riddle pressured Idia into trying to speak publicly, you know how much of a scary situation it put Idia in, even though he was able to do it. Stressing him out is just gonna make him unhappy :(

Someone who enjoys spending as much time inside as he does! I’m not talking a hikikomori but someone who wouldn’t be opposed to staying inside with him 99.9% of the time lol

“Y-Y/N-shi, would you like to g-go on a date with me soon?” Idia fumbled with his fingers, looking away as he asked you. You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Idia, this is the first time you asked me to ‘go on a date’. Don’t tell me, are we actually going out somewhere?!”

“Eek! D-don’t be ridiculous, Y/N!!” He almost screeched the words out. Suddenly he pulled out a couple of VR headsets with hand controllers, and handed one to you. “Fuhehe, I just made a bunch of simulation locations. We could go to the park, a restaurant, even an amusement park..!” He grinned showing off his teeth.

You giggled at Idia’s enthusiasm, loving the way he gets after speaking about his own creations. “What a wonderful idea, Idia. Maybe we could take Ortho to the ‘amusement park’ too? We’ll be a big family.” You mused. Idia’s face brightened and a faint pink tinge covered his cheeks.

“F-family, huh? Ah, Y-Y/N-shi…. That would be n-nice…” Idia blushed as he considered what the future would bring for the both of you.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus would also mostly not have preferences on a person’s personality. Like, he wouldn’t say something like: “I want someone shy vs someone bold.” Anything his child of man does is interesting to him and he’s entranced by you!

That being said, Malleus would not tolerate rudeness, disrespect to him, Lilia, or his fellow dorm mates, etc. He may love you but he values those bonds more, especially Lilia’s and his grandmother’s.

Malleus wants someone who is willing to teach him human tendencies, since he is curious about them. Malleus will also probably never stop asking you about your life in the previous world, and listen passionately as you describe the hobbies you had, family members, etc.

As long as you continue to love and treat Malleus like a normal person and with kindness, he will continue to love you endlessly. He’s so unused to it that he will feel so special as you only coo in awe instead of fear away, if he showed you a magic trick or maybe donned more of his draconic features like his tail or long claws.

You walked with Malleus under the bright moonlight in the woods near Ramshackle dorm. His height and charm never failed to impress you. And his face, he was so very handsome. His striking green eyes always made you feel hypnotized and his horns were so well taken care of, you almost wanted to reach out and-

“Hm, Child of Man… you do know it’s quite rude to stare, yes?” Malleus chuckled and suddenly broke the silence, making you gasp. “Ah, sorry Tsunotarou. I-,” searching your thoughts, you just couldn’t think of anything quickly enough. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re very attractive.” You murmured, admitting defeat.

“Oh? Do I not intimidate you, my dear? Usually humans and even other fae fear my features and tend to shy away…” Malleus looked down in thought as he continued walking. You wrapped yourself around one of his arms as he walked, effectively stopping him in his place. “Well, you don’t intimidate me! I like being around you, so, let’s keep it that way. I want to stay with you for a long time so don’t get too tired of me okay, Malleus?”

Hearing you say his given name only made the fae’s heart beat harder in his chest. Surely you knew what you did to him. He smiled down at you, green eyes softening in your gaze.

“I assure you I won’t, little human.”

[phoenixyfriend]

For your suddenly omegaverse au what exactly happened? Like I think obiwan and Anakin hop over from cannon verse to omegaverse but I am unclear on if there already existed obiwan and Anakin in omegaverse. Did they die early or do they just not exist or are they just not force sensitive and therefore not a part of the order? Is there still a sith conspiracy around Anakin?

Context: Original Post, Surrogacy, Worldbuilding, Obi-Mom, Soap Operas

So, from the original post:

There is no preexisting Anakin in the Omegaverse

Obi-Wan and Anakin just straight up don’t exist until they drop headfirst into the council room, already covered in blood.

To clarify: There has never been an Anakin Skywalker in this AU. There has never been an Obi-Wan Kenobi.

They don't know this for sure when they land in the AU, though. All they know is that the Jedi have no record of either of them. They figure, well, maybe they just got lost in the shuffle. Anakin wasn't found until he was nine, after all, and that was only by great coincidence.

The rest of this post has almost no mention of the omegaverse elements, FYI.

Warning: References to the Tusken massacre, explicit sedation and isolation of a mentally unstable individual threatening violence.

I don’t want to make light of institutionalization and involuntary holds, but Anakin is a character with a history of violence talking about repeating such an act, and that’s... a bit of an extreme case.

------

It's not that hard to convince the Temple to let them run a mission that lets them stop by Tatooine or Stewjon. Anakin cares a lot more, so Tatooine it is! Obi-Wan can tell there's something sketchy going on with Anakin's particular anxiety about this, but he rolls with it. Anakin was very specific about the timing for some reasons, and at this point, it's easier to just let it all play through.

They go well after the whole “congrats, you’re omegas... somehow,” thing has happened, a month or so before Geonosis would have happened. Obi-Wan has managed to help the council sabotage and delay the Separatist side of the war enough that they’ve gained... maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. Just a little more time to keep a few more people alive. Nobody’s reached out to Kamino yet, and Jango isn’t staging a failed assassination to draw someone in, either. They’ve bought enough time for Anakin to spend his vacation time checking in on his mom seeing if he exists here, and Obi-Wan can go with him.

They get to Tatooine. They wander about, and Anakin doesn't actually explain where they're going, but takes them straight to where the Lars farm is. Obi-Wan lets Anakin tell him that it was the Force that led him to the right area. Anakin can sense that his mom is in there, and Obi-Wan chalks up the relief from his former padawan to 'she's here and we don't have to look for her.'

Anakin is... panicking. Just a bit. What if he shows up and it turns out this reality's Anakin is off doing something completely unrelated and she realizes he's the wrong person? Or what if she doesn't recognize him and he calls her Mom anyway? What if he fucks up and says something stupid or just starts crying on her? She'll think he's insane.

Obi-Wan... takes over.

Anakin stays hidden, listening. Obi-Wan knocks on the door, and asks if there's a 'Shmi Skywalker' in residence. Someone in town mentioned her. He explains that he has a young friend of about twenty years--they're not sure, exactly, because the friend doesn't know his own birthday, but it's about there--who happens to be a Skywalker, and they're trying to see if they can reconnect him with a parent. They don't have much to go off of other than the surname... the Shmi that lives here wouldn't happen to have ever had any children about that age?

No. She hasn't had any children of her own blood, actually, her only child is her stepson, but she'd be happy to meet this other Skywalker, if he's in the area. It's always nice to find family, and connecting with those that were separated from you is a big deal on Tatooine. She's not going to look a gift bantha in the mouth.

(Cliegg, dear, put down the rifle.)

Obi-Wan promises to let his friend know, bids them goodbye, and goes to find Anakin.

Anakin is having a bit of a breakdown.

As one does.

Anakin insists that they stick around for a bit, that they do what they can to protect the farm, because that's his mom, even if she's not really his mom, and Obi-Wan can tell there's a Lot Going On here. He assumes it's because Anakin's upset his mom doesn't know him, which is a little irrational on account of their two options being "Anakin doesn't exist (and so Shmi doesn't know him)" and "Anakin does exist (but Shmi doesn't know this Anakin, so she still doesn't know him)," but Anakin's not a very rational person.

Obi-Wan thinks tamping down the current crisis is probably a little more important than chastising Anakin's attachment issues, mostly because Anakin's hands are shaking, and he's looking a little wild-eyed, and like. Obi-Wan's not great at dealing with Anakin's many and varied emotions, but he's learned at some point when it's best to just... roll with it Until There's Less Risk of Stab or Sobbing Laughter.

He helps figure out some minor fuckery with the Force to hide the family in the homestead behind them from visitors, and to warn them to hide when someone comes by. It’s not a lot--mostly just meditating and asking the Force for a helping hand--but it’s nice.

Except, well, Anakin keeps fidgeting. He keeps panicking. He has them coming back almost daily for a week, always too scared to talk to his mom but insistent on protecting her, and always looking at the calendar. Obi-Wan wants to get back to the Temple, but whatever the actual hell is going on with Anakin is too big to just ignored.

A specific day comes and goes. Anakin is a mess of jitters and nerves, and finally Obi-Wan asks just the wrong (right?) question, and... they visit Shmi.

Anakin says they can talk later, he just wants to see his mom One Last Time.

(Obi-Wan is getting more and more worried, but he sits through the incredibly awkward meeting between Anakin and his alt-universe mom, watches as Anakin has no idea what to say and almost cries, and Shmi just kind of lets him do that and Beru--a sweet girl, Obi-Wan thinks, and very practical--tells him that this is all very normal for reunited slaves.)

(Obi-Wan wonders if maybe there’s some stuff Anakin never told him about how being a slave affected him.)

(Obi-Wan had thought they’d moved past most of this, but..)

The meeting ends. There’s hugging.

They get back to the ship, and Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin fall apart. Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin cry and scream into a pillow, hyperventilate and nearly punch a hole in the wall as he rages about how it was all for nothing! Obi-Wan gets to watch Anakin break into a million pieces in a way he’s never seen before.

Obi-Wan gets a confession.

Anakin tells him about the Tuskens.

It’s not an easy conversation. It’s not a short conversation, either. Anakin’s full of pain and misery and rising guilt, talks about how he’s been asking himself if it would be easier to keep his mother safe if he just killed them all now, except Obi-Wan would know, and be disappointed, and sure the Chancellor had said that they were little more than rabid animals, but Anakin doesn’t think he can kill the younglings again when his mom is still fine, and--

Obi-Wan sedates him.

He wants to say that he’s not proud of this, but... Anakin isn’t well. Anakin isn’t well in a way that is currently, specifically, revolving around doing extreme violence. Anakin is talking about going out and committing a slaughter as preventative maintenance.

Anakin stays sedated until they get back to the Temple, and he’s put in Force-suppressant cuffs--Obi-Wan quietly tells them to use something that can’t be sliced or taken apart by a droid specialist, and to avoid collars because Anakin was a slave for nearly a decade, and has a lot of traumatic associations--and in an isolated room.

It’s not a cell. Not technically.

He can’t just leave, though.

Obi-Wan hates himself for it, just a little. He doesn’t want to be doing this, not to his padawan, his brother, his son, but... a massacre. Even the younglings, he’d said.

(“He said he didn’t think he could do it again,” Obi-Wan mutters, half to himself and half to the mind healer that asks for his rundown of the situation. “I think he knows it was wrong, but...”)

(But he still did it, of course.)

It’s... better than Obi-Wan feared, but worse than he hoped.

Anakin is emotionally unstable. He has been, for a long time, but he’s usually functional. When the mind healer isn’t directly poking at his worst wounds, Anakin can more or less pass for... not okay, necessarily, but no worse than anyone else in the war had. He can say the right words. He can do a joint meditation. He can talk about philosophy the way a Knight that’s taken all the right classes does.

But part of Anakin still holds to the idea that the Tuskens deserved to die.

“This is my fault,” Obi-Wan whispers, more than once, resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “I should have...”

“He was an adult,” says Mace, who isn’t Mace, not the one that Obi-Wan knows, but a newer friend, one that’s still figuring how to act around him. “Young, but still an adult. He made that choice.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t answer. Things aren’t that simple.

“The timing can’t have been a coincidence,” Obi-Wan mutters to himself, later on, but in the same spot, and the same position.

The Quinlan of this universe shrugs. He knows Obi-Wan better than most, right now. Psychometry’s helpful that way, and sharing Obi-Wan’s heat hadn’t hurt. “Seems likely. You said Sith were involved and setting traps, and a kid like yours, with that much power and trauma... ripe for the molding.”

Obi-Wan whines, and then catches the noise and stuffs it back down, locks it up tight with the other ‘instinct’ things he doesn’t like to think about having. The sound already has Quinlan shifting closer, and the smell is... intended to be comforting, he thinks. Reacting to his own distress, which he’s probably just pumping out right now, because he still doesn’t know how to--

“Can I help?” Quinlan asks, and Obi-Wan lets him.

Someone gets through to Anakin, maybe, or he just lets himself be ground down, or Obi-Wan’s entreaties that he can’t teach Ahsoka until he understands his crimes get through. He won’t be trusted around the clones until the Jedi can trust him to do the right thing, they inform him.

“I wouldn’t hurt the clones.”

“Nobody’s going to believe that until you understand your crimes and truly, actually feel remorse for them.”

There wasn’t a crime, technically. Not in this universe. That tribe is still alive, here, unknowing of the fate they escaped by dint of Anakin talking himself down from committing another slaughter.

(He tells the mind healer it’s because Obi-Wan was there.)

(He might have done it, he says, if he hadn’t thought Obi-Wan would be disappointed in him.)

(He says it like it’s a foregone conclusion, that Obi-Wan’s opinion is worth more than the horror of what he might become.)

“We’re going to keep an eye on anyone talking to Palpatine,” Shaak tells him one day, after Anakin’s been mental instability hold for two weeks. “We don’t know for sure how far the similarities extend from your universe to ours, but given everything else you’ve been right about...”

“That bad?” Obi-Wan asks.

Shaak grimaces, fangs glinting in the light. “I want to believe we’d have never allowed a child into such a position, but I can’t know what political leverage may have been used in your dimension... whatever reason was had to put Skywalker in those rooms, we know the consequences now--”

“What did he do to my padawan?” Obi-Wan demands, because Anakin won’t even tell him that. Anakin hasn’t mentioned Palpatine since they left Tatooine. Not to Obi-Wan.

“Nothing physical,” Shaak manages. “But the lies he told and the suggestions he planted... it’s good they haven’t met again yet in this life. We’ll all be keeping them far apart.”

He wants to take solace in that. “Why do you know before I do?”

“Skywalker values your opinion,” she says. “Only yours. He doesn’t want you more disappointed in him than you already are, so much of what is relayed to the council as a matter of security goes no further, but this was deemed necessary to share. He agreed to it, if you worried we’d broken his confidence.”

Anakin’s therapy would normally be entirely private.

Anakin’s therapy would normally not be in response to confessions of mass slaughter.

He hasn’t asked to be let out, which Obi-Wan hopes is a sign that he realizes at least subconsciously that he was in the wrong. The mind healer says he could have been released under watch by a Master probably a day or two after he arrived, but seems to be drawing some kind of comfort in knowing he couldn’t hurt someone even if he tried.

Obi-Wan is Anakin’s emergency contact. His next of kin. His healthcare proxy. Anakin has a right to privacy, minor as it is in such a situation, and everyone recognizes and treats him as an adult, but... Obi-Wan learns as much from the mind-healer as he would have back when Anakin was actually a child.

“He trusts you to make the right decisions,” the mind healer tells him, careful and unassuming. “He has... a lot of conflicting opinions about many things, including the order, the coming war, the nature of human reproductive dynamics, the Code... but he seems keen on the idea that you are his best reference on morality and ethics.”

Oh, good, more horrifying responsibility.

“He’s better,” the mind healer tells him. “I want to get him out of here before he starts going stir crazy while still relying on the perceived safety as a crutch for his mental health. And he--”

“He’ll be staying with me,” Obi-Wan says, heavy as anything. “I know.”

“Well... there’s a war coming,” the mind healer says. She offers a thin smile when he looks at her. “I don’t want him going out, but it makes him feel useful, gives him a direction for the aggression, and... the Council is adamant that we’ll need him as much as we need you.”

It’s true.

“Did he tell you why everyone called him the Hero With No Fear?”

“No.”

“Ask him.”

[poisonousquinzel]

https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is

(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).

Post

Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.

Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.

also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.

Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 

Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.

Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 

I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 

X

X

Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 

Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 

That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 

He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 

Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.

This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 

Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.

This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).

Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd

-

this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot

(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)

So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.

The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 

She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 

this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks

“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 

She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  

And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 

“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 

but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.

“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”

“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 

“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 

Memories.

Memory. 

Gone.

I guess I too have a trump card.”

“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”

She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.

“How did I become the bad guy?”

“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”

“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”

“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”

“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 

“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”

This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 

“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 

Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 

so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 

Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 

Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.

In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 

“Oh, Harley.

The only human I’ve ever called a friend.

To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 

Without me, she could never grow. 

But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 

“Will she ever stand by herself? 

Will she ever be ready? 

She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 

She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 

But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 

Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 

What do I do?

I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.

I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.

I could kill her right now.

Show her how red Nature can be.

There's one other option.

It would require patience.

Even love.

Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.

"You have one chance to answer this."

I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.

"She put us behind bars."

But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.

"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."

So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 

Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.

And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 

And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 

But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.

A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 

And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 

I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 

But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.

It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 

If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 

She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.

Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 

She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 

And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 

He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 

And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 

Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 

-

And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 

She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 

Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 

The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 

“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”

She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.

And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 

She’s got a lot of trust issues.

But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.

-

and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 

[billionairesitgirl]

Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it...  but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying..... 

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important 

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes. 

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making. 

(b) what makes them mistakes 

(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else 

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of... 

Make 3 categories

 .....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...) 

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself  and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.  

Man plans and God unplans ... 

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.)  What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried. 

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself. 

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing. 

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present. 

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark.  As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest.  The men moved on from her. 

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard - 

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure? 

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored).  Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”...  Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it?  Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off? 

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there? 

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a  leg up -  

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box? 

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful. 

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive... 

e.g  : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of. 

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more;  that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them. 

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs... 

With regards to your question...  About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year...  (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is. 

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach. 

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

[sneezefiction]

can i request just some subtle, domestic things kuroo, kenma, ushi, and atsumu do to let their s/o they love them? thank you and congrats on 200 followers!!

Kuroo, Kenma, Ushijima, and Atsumu x Reader - Domestic Fluff Headcanons

a/n: domestic sweetness here! i so hope you enjoy it, bc damn do i love these boys so much. thanks bunches for the request!! ✨

warnings: slight language

total wc: 780

---

Kuroo:

i think we all know that Kuroo is big on physical touch

but the longer you live with him, the more you realize how intentional it is

if you’re under any stress (a deadline, a frustrating project, you dropped and broke something), Kuroo will come up behind you and immediately start massaging your shoulders and back

you don’t even have to ask, he’ll just give you a loving kiss on your cheek and get to work

bc as an athlete, Kuroo knows well that the body reacts and tenses up under pressure, making it hard to function in general

so over the months, he’ll find where the stress accumulates and just massage the area until you’re so relaxed that you practically fall asleep, even if you’re sitting in a chair at your table

if you do doze off, he’ll take a bunch of photos of your sleeping face, that signature smirk decorating his features

but he’ll also pick you up and carefully carry you back to the bedroom, so you can sleep in peace

he’s got the gentlest expression while he does this

definitely tucks you in, setting your arms comfortably over the sheets, and sets water by the bed in case you wake up and need to hydrate

you feel so protected and safe, knowing that even at your most vulnerable you’re treated tenderly

Kenma:

sometimes Kenma struggles to show outward affection

but that doesn’t stop him from caring for you

I’m a firm believer that Kenma will leave little gifts for you around the house

he’ll text you to go check the kitchen for some kind of surprise

you’ll walk in and see your favorite dessert or snack on the countertop already set out on a plate

if you’ve had a particularly bad day, you’ll get distracting, fun gifts

you’ll find a Tamagotchi on your bedside table, a new vinyl record wrapped up on the coffee table with your name on it

(but pls don’t ask me where he’s gettin his money from, bc idk)

he also likes to leave tiny sticky notes with encouraging words (since he struggles to say it audibly) all-around your apartment

things like,

“your hair looks pretty today~”

“let’s play animal crossing together tonight”

“you’re my favorite. let’s cuddle”

these little things are what make life so sweet and Kenma does it so well

Ushijima:

Ushijima is a man of few words, but that doesn’t matter so much bc he does the mostest in terms of service

like baby fr knows how to cook and clean

let’s say you’re watching a youtube video on those fluffy, magical looking pancakes

Ushijima is gonna hear it from the other room and commence the cooking process

by the time the video is over, he’s calling you into the kitchen to try something,

“You like these, right?” He inquires

“Babe, WHAT. I was just watching something about this!”

“I could hear the video.”

and wow is it delicious

he also just does the dishes. it makes him feel accomplished if everything is clean and put away at the end of a meal

but after your day is over and you’re both in bed, sitting in comfortable silence together, he’ll pull you close to him and let you sink into his side

it’s routine at this point 🥺💕

you’ll fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing

and he’ll fall asleep to the sight of you

Atsumu:

Sumu is pretty rough around the edges

he isn’t one to pamper you and he will never stop teasing you

but you didn’t get into a relationship with him thinking he’d want to change entirely. no, you accepted his cocky personality, dealing with his temperamental moments

but somehow, in the time he’s been with you, he’s learned to selectively temper himself 

in doing so, he’s discovered just how much you crave small, soft touches

he figures he already puts you through a whole lotta shit on the regular, so he might as well be sweet to you late at night when you need a break 

he loves how your whole body melts when he traces his fingers down your arm

or how when he runs his hands through your hair, you’ll hum contentedly, leaning back into his chest

he gives you little, faint kisses up and down your neck, watching you squirm under his touch... and it’s captivating

as he does this, he’ll whisper honey-coated words into your hair,

“Ya always gotta be so perfect, don’tcha, sweets?” 

and, “I better be tha only guy ya do this with.”

You just laugh a little, cozying up to your usually more abrasive boyfriend, enjoying his sweet side for awhile

and he always reminds you, it’s for your eyes only

[herstarburststories]

The devil at your door

Kinktober day 3: Demon

Suptober day 3: Demonic

Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader

A/N: This one goes for @holylulusworld's 10k celebration, my trope was Lovers to Enemies. Congrats again, hon! And this is also my piece for @hardcoresupernatural 's Halloween challenge with the prompt: I'm not scared of you.

@deanmonandnegansbitch's asked: Deanmon x Reader, he realizes no one could tame the marks hunger like she did. And yet he lost her by sticking his dick in other women

Warnings: dirty talk, mentions of boob fucking, hints of dark sexual, angst if you squint, teasing

CATCH UP KINKTOBER: Day 1 / Day 2

Spending his whole life in imaginary chains had frustrated Dean Winchester more than he was aware of. He’d always done what his dad taught him; kept himself from what he wanted in order to be the good soldier — the hero — even if it was against his own desires. 

Dean saved the world once or twice and didn't get a thank you, a break long enough to relax or even visit the beach for the first time. No, hunters were never kids. Hunters never had time for fun. Hunters were made to be hunting. He always found himself fighting winless battles and ending up drowned in whiskey and self-pity.

Now it was all gone. His old persona never had time to be human, so losing that side of him wasn't a big deal. If anything, he felt better now. Whatever his green eyes wanted, Dean would go and get it.

No barbed ward could contain a demon, much less the Knight.

At first, it was funny. Messing around with Crowley, fucking some good, new pussies after tasting only yours, and causing destruction whenever he felt like it.

Then the thrill expired. Honestly, the Winchester pictured it would last longer. Crowley started bitching around like a whiny little man and the new girls no longer could satisfy him — that is, if they ever did. Dean was pretty sure he liked them so much because the cat and mouse play of finding a new toy, but at some point, the cat gets enough of the foreplay and wants to eat the prey. They were so boring in all their humanly forms: they didn't have his stamina, they didn’t know his sweet spots, and they didn’t enjoy all the mischievous things he wanted to do.

Only painting his knuckles with an aleatory idiot's blood could get a real smile out of him these days. Nonetheless, even throwing punches gets exhausting when they stop fighting back.

Where was the fun of being free?

It clicked him like one of the worst sounds of tortured souls screams; you. 

You used to be the wild in Dean's heart during hunter days. You knew all the bad things he wanted to do, and you moaned in pleasure through them. You knew his body and yours like religion and shamelessly worshipped them.

When he finds himself at your door after leaving a woman who just wanted some vanilla sex in a cheap motel, it shouldn't have been a surprise. At least, it's not in his uniquely demonic brand of rationality. As you open the door, the look on your face tells him you agree with that. 

Or so his deranged mind said.

You crossed your arms, the angle exposing your cleavage more as you leaned against the rose-colored door that he helped you paint months ago.

Dean used to think this little apple pie life was so savage, something out of his reach that he’d only get to touch in case of a miracle, like caressing the fire only to get a feel for the burn. Now he can't help but scrunch up his nose, disgusted by domestic, urban pleasures.

“What do you want, Dean?” You looked him up and down, a humorless smile on your face. “Got tired of fucking everyone with a pair of boobs?”

“I'm more interested in your boobs, sweetheart.” Dean isn't put off by your sarcasm, countering with the same flirty tone that used to get you riled up all the time.

Isn't the past such a beautiful memory?

“Go find someone your species, Winchester.” You rolled your eyes and pulled away, pushing the door closed before Dean's foot interrupted you.

He faked a pout. “Wow. That's racist, Y/N. This demon’s got feelings, you know?”

His childish attitude heats your system. Only Dean, demon or not, could push your buttons and get on your nerves in a matter of seconds. You pushed the pink door fully open with enough strength to make it slam against the wall with a loud crack. Dean doesn't look affected, though. You furiously glare at his lopsided grin.

“Do you also have a brain? I told you to leave. Get lost.”

“Come on, baby girl. I know you miss my cock. What about a night to remember?”

Believing he was the man you once loved was getting harder with every word he said. Your body seemed to recognize him easier, aching for him like some kind of spell. All you had after Dean Winchester left was a longing body and fury.

“Do you really think I'm gonna let you in my house for a quick fuck like I'm one of your one night stands?”

Dean appeared to be considering it for a moment, eyes focused on anything but you. His lips pursed before he glanced at you with a malicious beam. “Yes. You always said I was the best sex you ever had. Why not get a bit of it? You already know you won't regret that, sweetheart.”

You studied him, picturing what would bring a man who ran away back to what used to be his home. Dean had left as soon as he became a demon, the only trace of his existence being a note addressed to Sam and pieces of your heart. When you and Sammy finally found the eldest Winchester, he made was certain to make sure that you were aware of his very active sex life. He’d tacked on that he'd kill Sam and you both if you tried to save him.

You let him run like water after this. The Winchesters might have that wondrous codependency, but you didn't need something like that in your life. Especially not with a demonic cheater and murder.

Your eyes were too wide to ignore the warning signs now. Yet, that didn't answer why he was in your doorway. If he wanted to be saved, he'd go for Sam and call you from there. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldn't spend time talking about fond memories. He didn't look like a lost puppy looking for shelter either. So, what the fuck was this green-eyed devil doing here?

Quietude thickened while you noticed Dean not seeming to notice your silence, his eyes too busy observing your breasts. Your Dean Winchester was always a boob man, and he was looking like he'd fuck your titties on your porch for all your neighbors to see. It certainly wouldn't be yours and his first time with public sex. Still, that wasn't the point: he was here, hair longer than usual and cock clearly starting to awaken in his jeans…

Because he had missed you.

You chortled in dismay, unable to discern whether he was kidding or not despite the bulge in his pants, and that glimmer in his eyes already confirmed your suspicions. You knew him.

The realization almost cheered up your soul. Your reasoning stopped you from collecting hopes about that demoniac form of a man. Dean was here for carnal desire, not love. He had sex with other women while you spent sleepless nights crying into his old shirts. He broke you as the monster that he was — he deserved to suffer.

You didn't care if your heart would be a little more broken, or you pussy a bit needier after that.

“You missed fucking me, Dean? Missed my tight pussy squeezing your cock? Maybe my mouth on it? Or how you got it between my boobs? Did you miss how I taste?” You took a step closer to him, making Dean lift his glare to your face again. 

He wore a cocky smirk as he answered, “Not as much as you missed me.”

Dean was right. Your body cried for him, and so did your soul. Who fucking cares? He didn't before, and you would not now.

“Liar.” The word rolled letter by letter off of your tongue. “I can take care of myself, even call a friend to do that, but you came back just because you can't forget how eating my pussy like a fucking feast feels like. Can you, sweetheart?”

You used that stupid nickname that he often gave people. You were very aware that it would irritate him, as it was laced with the implication of another man putting his hands on you.

Dean quickly grabbed your waist tightly, pulling you closer to him. He groaned. It was that fucking sound he made when something truly made him furious, and you knew your panties were gone. His eyes flashed into darkness that replaced his glistening greens, and for some calamitous reason, that turned you on.

“You better not have let anyone fuck what's mine, Y/N. I'd rip his throat in front of you and fuck you right next to his body,” he spits out jealously. His posture radiated that usual, alpha-esque tenseness that tumbled you two into angry, possessive sex so many times before.

“So jealous. I loved to tease you only to get you rough on me. Throwing me against the wall, going so hard inside my pussy that the bed broke, holding me hard enough to leave marks. You wanted for my bruises too, right? How I'd scratch your back, bite your collarbone, ruin your neck for everyone to see you were mine, but I guess what you really liked about me was that I was as hungry for you as you were for me. I would’ve let you do anything to my body, and I did. Because I wasn’t scared of you, Dean, and I’m not scared of you now either.” The way your arms compulsively wrapped around his neck made you wonder if you really wanted to strangle him or pull him closer. You could smell his manly cologne mixed with sulfur. It shouldn't make you want him more. Your knees shouldn't be begging to kneel for him and suck his cock. Be stronger. “You could come in, throw my clothes away and fuck my boobs with your dick instead of your eyes. Hurt me good enough to make me ask for more. But you know what?”

“Mm?” Dean's reply came in a hum as you pressed your hips against his, causing his clothed cock to rub on your belly. It was a tiny bit of relief — finally. He missed this so much: he couldn't wait to slip into your tight pussy.

“You won't.” Your lips brushed against his before you pulled away. His hands left your body from his surprise at your words. A wry smirk was wrung from your lips despite your wet pussy. “You stuck your dick into other women as soon as you became… whatever this is.” You scoffed, pointing at him with a feigned disgust in your eyes that you knew your body disagreed with. “Go have fun with your hand, Dean.”

A light rose painted door was ultimately closed in his face.

Leave a comment and reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my day 1&2 of kinktober and my masterlist ♡

Dean's sweetheart: @akshi8278 (dean taglist open)

Hunters: @demonhunterbarbie  @bi-danvers0 @emilyshurley @desimarie12 (spn taglist open)

KINKTOBER TAGLIST: @psych0crybaby (NEW&OPEN)

WANNA BE TAGGED? SEND ME AN ASK OR DM.

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSim: Second Chances Week 13: The Finish Line Approaches

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiig Brother!

@brentrobinson @flungevictee @kaysarswhore @maxdoesbb @music-obsessednerd @pawn2393 @paymeincashnottears @rennyforpresident @wheremy--demons--hide

Jury: @theminionjcfucked @fucklauryn @phylisisley @iantxrry @swampassthing @cirie-sandra-michaela @flopbb-22

Previously, @flopbb-22 was sent packing. @kaysarswhore and @pawn2393 have been running the house all summer. But this week, it comes down to who wins which comp.

Let me break it down for you: @kaysarswhore and @pawn2393 have a final 2 deal, but both of them are sketched by the other because they’ve been backstabbers all season. @kaysarswhore has a final 2 with @maxdoesbb, who everyone feels like they can trust right now. @paymeincashnottears doesn’t have a solid final 2, but feel closest to @maxdoesbb

And that’s what you missed on

This week, because @pawn2393 is the outgoing HOH and therefore ineligible to compete, there are only three competitors

At this point, there’s no reason to throw a competition. Oh, wait, there is!

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “I know no matter who wins, I’m safe! My social game is on point, everyone is taking me to the end, and I can beat any of them in those final 2 chairs. I’m golden”

@maxdoesbb finishes with a total of 4 correct answers.

Which means it’s down to @paymeincashnottears and @kaysarswhore. Will we finally see @paymeincashnottears get to spend the week in the HOH room? Or will @kaysarswhore win her FOURTH HOH of the season?

With 7 correct answers, beating out the second place score of 6 correct answers.....

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@kaysarswhore! You have secured your spot in the final 3 and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction.

Who will she nominate? Will she keep her public final 2 deal with @pawn2393 her priority, or expose her private final 2 deal with @maxdoesbb?

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@kaysarswhore: “I have decided to nominate you @paymeincashnottears and you @maxdoesbb. You both know that I’ve played this game with @pawn2393 from the beginning, and I’m not breaking that bond. I nominated the two of you because I had no other options. Good luck, and I hope the veto is tough for everyone!”

@paymeincashnottears: “I’m still pissed that I couldn’t win that HOH. I needed ONE win under my belt, and I came so close. I know that my ship is sunk if this veto isn’t used. @pawn2393 hates my guts, so one of us needs to come out so we can vote him out instead.”

@maxdoesbb: “All a part of the plan baby. I’m safe no matter who is up against me. It would be nice to take out @pawn2393 this week, because I have a better chance of getting to the end with @paymeincashnottears, but either way, I’m golden.”

Because there are only four houseguests left in the house, everyone will compete in the final veto competition of the summer.

This competition is the most mentally draining of the summer. The wheel spins in both directions, and everyone’s faces quickly become a blur. At the end of it all, we return to the living room to find out the times of the houseguests.

In fourth place, with a time of 7:02

In third place, with a time of 6:12

And finally, in first place, with a time of 5:39, beating out the second place time of 5:43

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@kaysarswhore! You have won the final Golden Power of Veto of the summer!

At the veto ceremony, @kaysarswhore stands and makes her decision

@kaysarswhore: “This summer has been INSANE! I know that @pawn2393 is probably my biggest competition right now, but I also have to consider that @paymeincashnottears and @maxdoesbb are a duo that are probably going to the end together. All that being said, I have decided...

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not to use the power of veto.”

@paymeincashnottears: “Well ladies, considering @pawn2393 is the only vote, my goose is pretty much cooked. See y’all in the jury house.”

@maxdoesbb: “I am a little worried about @pawn2393, but at the end of the day, he and @paymeincashnottears are bitter enemies till the end. I feel good, and I just have to bank on @kaysarswhore or I pulling out the win for that final HOH next week.”

@maxdoesbb feels safe, but goes the extra mile this week to make sure he has @pawn2393‘s vote.

@maxdoesbb: “My family back home really needs this money. There’s 9 of us: my mom, my dad, me, and my six siblings. I share a bedroom with three of my brothers, and the ceiling leaks at night, keeping me up. When I was a child, I was determined to have born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs, and every afternoon, I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony while my brothers are fast asleep until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

@maxdoesbb in the DR: “Of course none of that is true! I just need to make sure these people know how much I want this. I need to stay, I need to win, I need this title.”

Will it be enough to convince @pawn2393 to keep him? Let’s find out

Julie: “Hello Final Four! Only one week left! @kaysarswhore, how does it feel knowing you have a one in three chance at winning Big Brother?”

@kaysarswhore: “It feels AMAZING! I didn’t come anywhere near this point the last time I played, so to make it this far is really amazing. And it’s good knowing I have my best friend @pawn2393 here with me!”

Julie: “Speaking of @pawn2393, you are the only vote tonight! How are you dealing with the responsibility?”

@pawn2393: “Pretty well, I think! I’ve had my mind made up since yesterday, so I feel really sure about the vote I’m casting tonight.”

Julie: “Well then! Just in case you aren’t, the nominees have one final chance to plea their case.”

@paymeincashnottears: “To all three of you, I feel honored to be in a position where I have made it this far. I’ve loved this experience and wouldn’t change it for the world. To @pawn2393, I know we haven’t always gotten along, but it would mean the world for me to stay here. You know that I’m an easy player to beat in the end, and @maxdoesbb can’t offer you that. No matter what, just know that I’ll take my job as juror very seriously, and I’ll definitely be asking the hard questions next week.”

@maxdoesbb: “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, so all I’ll say is @pawn2393, I sincerely hope you vote to keep me here. I adore all three of you and could never say a bad thing about any of you. I’ve done my best to play this game the way I know how, and I hope all of you can recognize that and give me a place in the top 3. If not, no hard feelings and we’re TURNING UP when we get out of here! *cheers from the house*”

Julie: “Alright. When you’re ready, @pawn2393, please stand and cast your vote to evict.”

@pawn2393: “I never imagined making it to final 3 when I walked in on Day 1. Well, actually I did, but I never imagined it all playing out the way it did. I’ve given this decision a lot of thought, and I need to do what’s best for my game. I need to be loyal to my ride or die @kaysarswhore. That being said, I have decided that...”

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Julie: “It’s official, @paymeincashnottears, you are evicted from the Big Brother house.”

Julie: “ @paymeincashnottears! Final 4 is INCREDIBLE! What do you think you needed to do to push yourself just a little bit further in the game?”

@paymeincashnottears: “I honestly don’t know! Maybe win a few more comps in my time in the house? * audience laughter* I really played my heart out, and I don’t feel like there was anything more I could have done”

Julie: “Well, what are your feelings on the three people still left?”

@paymeincashnottears​: “I honestly hold no grudges! Of course, @maxdoesbb​ is an icon and had my back the entire time in there, but I don’t know if he can pull this off. But the other two are great people, they just wanted me out of that house BAD! *audience laughter*”

Julie: “It was wonderful to watch you play again, and we’ll see you back here next week for the finale!

Next week, we crown a winner! Who will earn $500,000 and the title of winner of Big Brother winner? Find out next time. For now, from outside the Big Brother house, I’m Julie Chen. Goodnight.”

FINALE IS NEXT!!! Also @paymeincashnottears​ you are a LEGEND for continuing to be nominated and making it f4!! And CONGRATS to the top 3, the gameplay is IMMACULATE.

[more-pokeimagines]

Can I ask for a Fake Dating AU! with Bede? Champion!Rival!Reader is cornered by the press about their love life so they lie than they have a boyfriend and when a some sort of celebration/party happens, she's expected to show up with her SO, so she begs her crush to just play along with the farce at least for a while. A drabble, please!

Hope you enjoy! ^^

I hate you, I love you – Bede x champion!rival!reader (fake-dating!AU)

“(Y/N)! It’s so good to see you! How are you doing?”

It took you a few seconds to return the beaming smile the reporter gave you. You were currently taking a walk through Wyndon, doing some window-shopping and thinking about your next scheduled battles. It wasn’t the first time that reporters had approached you in your free time but today, it really annoyed you. Lately they had picked up the habit to pester you about your love life and probed you even more every time you only gave vague answers. It was nerve-racking and rude and you hated it. Your love life (as well as every other part of your private life) wasn’t something you wanted others to discuss. It was non of their business that your love life basically wasn’t existent and you knew that there would definitely be someone to make some snarky comments about that.

You held back a sigh and returned your attention back to the reporter, a middle-aged woman you had already met a few times. “Hello,” you replied politely. “I’m fine, just a bit busy with battles and stuff. Thanks for asking.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, already busy with fumbling a notepad out of her handbag. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions, dear?”

She always called you ‘dear’ (something you really despised) and talked to you like the two of you had been best friends for years but you never had the guts to tell her to stop that. You didn’t want her to portray you as rude and unlikeable in her next article. That’s why you shrugged and told her that you didn’t mind a quick interview, even though you felt the complete opposite.

“Okay, (Y/N). There have been rumors that Leon, our former champion, holds a grudge against you since you took the title from him. Is that true?”

You frowned. This was the first time someone mentioned that to you. “Not at all,” you responded, still a bit confused. Why would someone assume that you and Leon didn’t get along anymore? “We’re still very good friends,” you continued. “Actually we just had a long phone call yesterday.”

“So you’re really close to him. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“How about the speculation that you both are more than just friends? Some people think that’s the real reason why he’s angry about the fact that you beat him in battle,” the reporter said in a furtive tone. The friendly smile on her face had turned slightly deceitful; something that irritated you for a second but the question itself was enough to baffle you. “We’re not in a relationship,” you said and raised your eyebrows. “I don’t know why someone would assume that we are.”

The reporter scribbled something on her notepad. “Well, this suggests the assumption that you’re currently not in a relationship.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Somehow, you had already expected a question like that, especially since Oleanna had announced a party to celebrate the appointment of a new chairman a few days ago. You had no idea why it would be such a big deal if you showed up without a partner. But maybe you should finally put an end to the speculations about your relationship status. No one would suspect that you were lying, right?

“No, that’s not true. I have a boyfriend,” you said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. The reporter raised her eyebrows. “Really? Congratulations, (Y/N)! Who is he?”

Don’t say it, don’t say it, your inner voice warned you. But it was already too late. “Oh, it’s Bede.”

*

“Excuse me, you did what?!”

“I know, I know,” you sighed. “It was a stupid idea. I get why you’re upset.”

Bede stared at you, a mixture of confusion and anger on his face. He had known you for years now but you’ve never done something that was as stupid as telling some reporter that the two of you were in a relationship. “I’m not upset,” he said. “I’m freaking mad! Why would you tell her that I’m your boyfriend? That’s absolutely ridiculous!”

“She was pestering me with questions about my love life, okay?” you replied, unintentionally raising your voice a bit. “She told me that people think I’m in a relationship with Leon. I didn’t want her to spread that rumor even more.”

Bede huffed. “Instead you spread the rumor that we are dating. Congrats, (Y/N), what an awesome idea. And just for the record: I still don’t like you. Just in case you forgot that.”

You made a face at him. It was a lie, you knew that. Yes, you had been rivals and yes, he still envied you because you were the Champ now but after trying to surpass each other for so long, you actually developed something like a friendship after he became the Gym leader of Ballonlea. And somehow you even managed to fall in love with him long before that. There was just something about him that had sparked your interest all these years ago but since he became Opal’s successor and finally felt at ease with himself, you thought that he was even more attractive.

“It was a mistake to lie to her,” you eventually admitted. “I get that. But it’s too late now and the damage is done, isn’t it? They will forget about it in a few weeks.”

“They won’t,” Bede stated and rolled his eyes. “Have you forgotten about Oleanna’s stupid party? They will expect us to show up together.”You cursed under your breath. Of course he was right – you couldn’t attend the party on your own or there would be rumors about your break-up immediately. But you also knew that it would be incredibly difficult to convince Bede to play along.

“No way,” he interrupted you as soon as you opened your mouth. He already knew what you were going to say and he didn’t even want to hear it. “I’m not going to be your fake boyfriend, (Y/N).”

“Bede, please, I beg you! I’m so tired of them always annoying me with questions about my love life.”

Now it was his turn to make a face at you. “Yeah, well, that’s not my problem, is it? You decided to lie to that reporter lady.”

“I know,” you said again. You already regretted asking Bede for help but you didn’t have any other choice, did you? You couldn’t do this on your own, not when there would be a bunch of reporters who expected you to attend the party together with your boyfriend. “And I’m sorry that I got you in this situation but I really need your help. I’m going to look like an absolute idiot if I show up alone after admitting that we’re dating.”

“Just tell them that I’m busy with challengers or whatever,” Bede suggested and shrugged. “You seem to be pretty good at lying to others.”

You flinched like he had just poured a bucket of ice cold water over your head. “That’s not fair,” you quietly said. “I already apologized. And it was an emergency lie.”

For a second, the two of you simply stared at each other without saying anything. Bede’s face was expressionless but there was something in his eyes that gave you hope that he would play along in the end. Then, he sighed and shook his head. “Alright. I’ll be your fake boyfriend. But once that party is over you’re telling everyone that we broke up. Deal?”

A relieved smile flashed over your face. That definitely was better than nothing. “Deal.”

[herenortherenearnorfar]

What Do We Do With Civilian Orcs?

The idea that elves were going around slaughtering whole families of orcs is baffling to me. The Kinslayings are a big deal for a reason. The orcs are elves’ kin and even if they might express hatred towards them it’s the hatred felt towards Frankenstein’s Monster or any innocent abomination. When I see a malformed little pedigree dog with no training I don’t hate the dog, I hate the culture that made this little drooly monster that can’t breath. Certainly there are some grudges more vitriolic and personal than others (Elladan and Elrohir, for example, or Beren towards the orcs occupying his home) but largely people pity orcs. The issue is that they’re just too dangerous to rehabilitate. 

I either saw or hallucinated a very good post about orc POWs recently but it included this quote from Morgoth’s Ring. 

... the Wise in the Elder Days taught always that the Orcs were not 'made' by Melkor, and therefore were not in their origin evil. They might have become irredeemable (at least by Elves and Men), but they remained within the Law. That is, that though of necessity, being the fingers of the hand of Morgoth, they must be fought with the utmost severity, they must not be dealt with in their own terms of cruelty and treachery. Captives must not be tormented, not even to discover information for the defence of the homes of Elves and Men. If any Orcs surrendered and asked for mercy, they must be granted it, even at a cost.* This was the teaching of the Wise, though in the horror of the War it was not always heeded

Footnote: Few Orcs ever did so in the Elder Days, and at no time would any Orc treat with any Elf. For one thing Morgoth had achieved was to convince the Orcs beyond refutation that the Elves were crueller than themselves, taking captives only for 'amusement', or to eat them (as the Orcs would do at need).

There are obvious reasons why Morgoth would brainwash his shock troops into thinking that death is safer than surrender. It makes the likelihood of him getting stabbed in the back far less. It also means that orc soldiers were willing to take a lot of measures to avoid capture, which suits his purposes nicely. But soldiers aren’t the only orcs out there. There must be orc villages (certainly their numbers replenish quickly) and even orc families. Why can’t they be redeemed? And if the “Wise” obey the fantasy Geneva Conventions then what happened to all those orc non-combatants in war time?

First, lets remember that brainwashing doesn’t only effect soldiers. Civilians would have a whole head full of Morgoth’s Best Doublethink too. That means that they’re going to be trying to avoid capture as much as possible. Orc civilians aren’t going to stick around in villages that elves are bearing down on if they have any possible escape route. They’ll run. And frankly, most of our heroes probably aren’t going to chase them. Capturing orc civilians means having to treat them well and that means dealing with a bunch of hostile, vulnerable prisoners. Better to let them go. (Obviously some more pragmatic individuals are going to suggest actions that do not follow the fantasy Geneva Conventions because, after all, letting orcs go means you have more orcs to deal with later, but lets pretend for now that we’re dealing with “the Wise”. Which hopefully, we are! Tolkien’s work emphasizes the fact that, though evil is everywhere basic decency is also found even in the darkest of places.)

So if you’re an elvish force moving through an orc village at night, congrats, most of the civilians will have left. It’s hard to tell how orcs age or if they bother to keep around the old and infirm but their maybe-elvish roots suggest that they’re pretty sturdy lifespan-wise, making for a more mobile population than a human village. Orc kids also seem to age fast, to account for Mordor’s great armies, so most orcs should be able to evacuate. Maybe, maybe there are some stragglers- pregnant people or those with very small children, but your best solution there is to just turn a blind eye. The orcs are more scared of you than you are of them. And, not to get too dark here, most of the elves probably learned pretty early on that the best way to keep orc parents from smothering their sobbing infants was to just... pretend not to notice them. 

If the attacking force is human things might be more complicated, as there’s less of a conditioned fear response to humans than elves. You’re more likely to see both good and bad outcomes. The good- some orcs children and other assorted non-combatants have probably accepted human help over the years. They might not have stuck around for long but they got wounds treated and even accepted a meal or two. The bad- they’re also a lot braver around humans and a lot more willing to launch ill advised attacks. Similarly, humans have less of the orc pity/hatred baggage elves do which is a mixed blessing. They’re more willing to see orcs as people! To believe in their innate goodness and not write them off as broken goods! And also a bit more likely to just murder the lot of them because the human kinslaying taboo is not as universal as the elven one. 

The problems start to arise when there isn’t space for an orc civilian population to escape. It’s sunny or they’re surrounded. Either way it gets... messy. Suicide as a method of escape when boxed in by enemies is very historically accurate and as much as it makes me squeamish I feel like it’s a very orcish thing to do. So all things considered, the “Forces of Good” probably didn’t have to do a lot of civilian killing. Morgoth’s excellent conditioning job and the realities of war (you can try to avoid moving through civilians areas for a while if you know it ends poorly but ultimately you do have to secure your surroundings) probably did it for them. Of course awareness of this as a factor would have made the humans and elves partially culpable in how they handled the taking of orc encampments, but again, there’s only so much damage minimization that can be done.

Certainly, there would be survivors. Even the semi-archaeologically evidenced Siege of Masada had a handful of them. Thus the moral conundrum of “what happens to orc civilians” is moved from a large group (orc communities who would not tolerate being taken alive) to a smaller one (individuals on whom the brainwashing didn’t take, the old and canny or the very young and helpless, the injured and the fragile). These people may have been taken prisoner and in the early days efforts may have been made to “rehabilitate” them. 

The text suggests these efforts failed so let’s dwell for a second on why that might be. Obviously no being is made evil. Destructive actions and toxic behavior can be taught, however, and once learned they are hard to unlearn.The evil of Morgoth was in his ability to begin cycles of violence in others. Orc society wasn’t bad because they were bad, it was bad because they were systematically (and likely intentionally) abused for a very long time with the intention of making it impossible for them to reintegrate back into elven (and later, human) society. You can say this about Morgoth and Sauron, they know how to mess people up mentally. Orcs may be sentient and capable but their empathy, non-violent social skills, and other gentler instincts have been stripped away by years of calculated pressure. Even if a captured orc was completely unable to fight back (which would be their first instinct) or harm themselves (their second) they would still struggle to respond to their captors, reforge social bonds, and relate to others without the paradigms of violence and control that orc relationships are built on. We see in LotR that even in casual situations orcs define each other by servitude and power, there’s no reason to believe that civilians would be dramatically different- a bit softer perhaps but still sharp. 

So most adult orcs, even civilians, aren’t going to be able to integrate into an elven or human community, even if you do take them prisoner. Best case scenario they’ll book it, worst case, you’ll have a tragedy on your hands. They’re still going to suspect you’re keeping them around for food, they’re still going to hate you, and ultimately things are still going to end poorly. 

But what about a very young orc? 

This is where things get weird. Maybe they’re safe and happy and noticeably orcish and raised in woke adoptive families but we don’t see evidence of that. You’d think The One Good Orc would at least get a lay. Humans raised by elves got like, seven. One option is that orc infants raised in elven or human environments are mostly elven, so it never gets mentioned, But that just plays into some very weird and frankly disturbing history that most imperialist nations have re: baby kidnapping, so let’s not do that. 

There must have been abandoned orc infants at some point. Logistically the facts of the story demand it. Orcs (presumably) have lots of babies, the good guys sometimes retake lost territory, there are Geneva Conventions. But we never see the natural results of such an event so we’re left with with a mystery. Having written previously about elf infants and their finickiness, I have a (tragic) solution: 

Orc kids just... don’t thrive in the care of strangers. 

No one has figured out how to hand rear baby orcs yet! It’s very unfortunate. Maybe it’s the all meat diet. Maybe Morgoth threw in a failsafe. Most likely it’s a natural result of them previously having been elves. If elf kids are vulnerable to sudden changes in environment, why not orc kids? Obviously they’re going to have to be hardier overall, they’re more likely to be orphaned and probably less treasured, but infants as young as a few weeks can distinguish different types of faces. Being able to tell weird squishy strangers apart from good strong orc babysitters would not be a stretch for even a newborn. Maybe that’s what the fangs are for, they break up the face geometry enough to throw alarm switches in a baby’s brain. And once an orc child knows that they are not with friends they could easily just... fail to thrive. Which is, again, awful, but this whole situation is awful. The orc life is tragedy. 

So, orc civilians are unwilling to be taken alive, hate captivity, and even at a very young age mistrust non-orcs. Orc infants are very difficult to take care of if you’re not an orc (there were some hesitant handpuppet attempts at some point in Lindon but they could never replicate the musk) and any orc old enough to fend for itself is also old enough to try to fight you and have a bucketload of subtle brainwashing and serious behavioral issues. You don’t have to commit war crimes for this to still be a volatile population. 

However, I wanted to end this very depressing essay on a happy note. The text notes that “few orcs ever did so in Elder Days” which means that it did happen. There were orc success stories. In the War of Wrath some of the Easterlings took in orc injured and successfully integrated them into the community to such an extent that the only marker a few generations later was their weirdly long lifespan and fondness for rare pork. In the mid-Third Age there were a handful of offshoot communities in the far North which had an orc living in their village, a relic of some ancient war. Early in the Fourth Age several families in Rohan and Gondor fostered older Uruk-Hai children. And by the time the last orc villages were being encroached upon by Men, the vestiges of Sauron’s cultural conjob had worn off to the point that the orcs came out and treated with their new neighbours and over time Men and Orcs grew together. 

And that’s why the British are like that. 

[adapted-batteries]

Out from the Facades

Fandom: The Librarians

Rating: General, sfw, some swearing

Relationship: Jazekiel

Word Count: 2236

Going off a previous post where I headcanoned Stone as a trans guy, this is a fic revolving around that, and the concept of found family for June 4th's prompt: Found Family.

Also posted on my Ao3.

-----

Jacob came home, hair cut short, with a button down shirt from the thrift store, trying to ignore the uncomfortableness of the too small sports bra he was using to bind. His father was usually home later, so he figured he’d have some time to think up what he was going to say, and where he could go if he ended up getting kicked out.

Unfortunately, Isaac Stone was standing at the kitchen counter, looking at some bill that had come in the mail that day. His father looked up, squinting at the open door from the bright Oklahoma afternoon. When Jacob unfroze and shut the door, Isaac sucked in a breath.

“So, you’re a boy now,” Isaac said, inspecting Jacob like he was a prize heifer at the county fair. While his feet could move, Jacob’s throat did not want to cooperate, so Isaac continued. “Since you couldn’t even be a decent girl, you better be a better man, you understand?”

Jacob nodded, mentally finishing the thought that came next: because I can’t have a queer for a kid.

So that’s what Jacob did. So long as he acted like a good ol’ boy, everyone went along with it. He was surprised how quickly people just decided that yeah, Rebecca Stone was actually Jacob Stone, star of the high school football team, more than capable of drinking with the actual linebackers, and making the same comments, though thankfully he never felt compelled to act on them like others did.

But the real shocker was how easily Isaac Stone swept the notion of Rebecca, the rough tomboy, under the rug like he had with his late wife's heritage. Surprising support wrapped in the ultimate thought that if things weren't right by themselves, he'd force it into a more acceptable image and move on. He’d drive Stone to Oklahoma City for hormone replacement therapy until he could drive himself, his father hid of all the pictures past baby stage that indicated a girl that wasn’t on board with being one, and somehow never misgendered him.

Of course, his father didn’t have to worry about misgendering if he wasn’t home, or was passed out drunk on the couch if he was.

By the time Jacob turned 18, no one made any mistakes. He’d been blessed by the transgender gods, spending most of his formative years on testosterone, and soon got top surgery in the city (thankfully paid for before his father completely ran the company into the dirt). To complete the perfect picture, he got himself a nice, manly job oil rigging. It was easy to forget he’d ever been Rebecca first.

But jacob couldn’t ignore how much of a fuckup he still was. No one knew that he’d went to college instead of “a stint up on the Keystone pipeline,” that he’d published dozens of scholarly essays on art and literature of all sorts while “apprenticing to be a surveyor,” that he still liked men even though he was a convincing fake womanizer. Despite briefly living more like who he really was, he was terrified of what would happen if the people back home found out. So, what better way to prevent that than to come back to Oklahoma and work long hours on a dead-end pipeline job, biding his time until Isaac decided he’d done enough to murder his company and let Jacob actually take over.

And then, when he was at the bar with some of his buddies, after dutifully hitting on the hot foreign chick with a Latin tattoo, ninjas showed up, and a NATO counter terrorism officer saved his ass.

The Library made it really hard to be Jacob Stone, manly oil rigger from Oklahoma, because he wasn’t any use to the Library for just that. No, Jacob Stone, brilliant scholar and expert in all things liberal arts, that was exactly who the Library needed to repeatedly save the world. And Jacob realized that, hey, it was pretty nice to actually be the real Jacob Stone, the one under all those facades.

The problem was old habits, ones that were decades in the making, were hard to break. It took him a few months to quit instinctively playing stupid before realizing, no, he didn’t have to do that. Only recently did he actually tell his colleagues what he was always busy working on in their off time, still publishing under Dr. Oliver Thompson, though the thought of abandoning the pseudonyms gave him the same fear that kept him hidden in Oklahoma.

At least the artificial interest in women was becoming not so artificial, but then there was Ezekiel Jones, doing his damn best to remind Jacob how not straight he was. And he still wasn’t totally truthful with the team; no one knew he was trans. Though he knew he didn’t owe them that bit of personal history, it felt like one more mask still hanging on his face.

And then the Library sent them to one of his father’s new sites in Wagner, and his past that he tried to shed came rearing its head all at once. Fortunately his father had hired local contractors who didn’t know Jacob, but he couldn’t do much about Isaac himself, or the fact they were dealing with some Choctaw mythology causing a ruckus, with protestors who seemingly could see through his white-passing visage and into his native blood.

It was as if the universe decided that he needed to actually confront the cultural past he’d carefully locked away years ago with his mother’s death, and the past he’d managed to lock away recently with becoming a Librarian. And maybe he actually would.

Isaac, of course, was off being useless in a bar, so naturally he got to introduce his colleagues to his father in his worst state.

“The hell you doin’ here?” Isaac was looking at him, just like he had that afternoon 25 years ago.

It took all of his willpower to not just turn around and leave. “...hey Pop.”

They managed to convince Isaac that he was just a surveyor assistant to Ezekiel, though part of him was on guard in case Cassandra decided to throw down with his father’s disgusting misogynistic behavior (he was convinced she gave Isaac a headache with all the jargon she threw around, so she got some revenge). It was easy knowing what to say to keep Isaac from suspecting anything, to get him to cooperate (especially considering he was oiled with alcohol), but after effectively being “out” intellectually for a year, it hurt to shove himself back into the good ol’ boy role, even if part of him was screaming it was the safe thing to do.

Being locked in the truth chamber was a thrilling experience, in that his anxiety about kept them from escaping. He thought he was going to have to come out right there to Ezekiel and Cassandra, but thankfully the door was happy enough with him talking about his father.

In the end, even after getting a practice run with Hokolonote, he realized it didn’t matter if Isaac had no clue who he really was. Isaac would never care, because Jacob still ended up being the family fuck up, just the “turnin’ your back on your family” one. He left Oklahoma with a different hurt, the low ache of realizing he never actually had genuine family to begin with.

And then he spent more time with the Librarians, and that ache began to fade. These people he worked with, saved, got saved by, knew him as he was, and loved him for it. And realized he felt the exact same way about them. He near spooked himself with how much he cared if Eve had died by Dulac’s sword, if Ezekiel got killed by anubis’s werewolves, if Cassandra didn’t make it through the surgery, if Flynn hadn’t been strong enough to take in evil while they scrambled for a solution to Apep, if Jenkins somehow died (thank god he was immortal). Family was only half of having people care about you; you had to care about them too.

He had family.

But he didn’t want any secrets with the family, and he still had one left tugging on his heart. And who better to tell than the other professional faker on the team.

He cornered Ezekiel in the main room while the others went about doing whatever they were doing. “Hey, Ezekiel, can we talk?”

Ezekiel looked at him, a mix of confusion and concern, since Jacob rarely pulled the first name card for him. “Sure, mate. Is something wrong?”

“No...uh, just, let’s go somewhere more private,” Jacob said, about-facing and walking deeper into the Library. Ezekiel followed him, and he knew the thief was suddenly hyper aware of everything because Jacob caught him off-guard.

The wandered for a bit, eventually far enough from the others and any main walkways where someone might come near. “Okay, what’s this about?” Ezekiel asked, folding his arms.

Jacob took a death breath. “I’ve not been completely truthful about my past-”

Ezekiel cut him off. “No one ever is, least of all me, so what of it?”

“No, just-” Jacob rubbed his face in frustration “-I know you and Cassandra found out I’d lied to my father about myself for decades, but that’s not the only thing about me you don’t know.”

“Okay?” Ezekiel just looked at him even more confused. “Are you like, coming out or something? Because that isn’t a big deal, I mean it is, but like, Cassandra has a girlfriend, mate, and you know I’m not the straightest bloke around.”

“You’re not?” Jacob shook his head, ignoring that bit of apparently obvious information for now. “I, uh, well, yeah, Jones, I’m coming out. I’m trans.”

There was an awkward silence as Ezekiel tried to figure out what Jacob meant by that. “Congrats?” He opened and closed his mouth a few times like he was trying out sentences in his head and deeming them not appropriate, and then a flood of words came out. “Um, so, do you have like prefered pronouns you want me to use? Are you thinking about a new name? Cuz that’s cool too. Are you still into women, or do you not want me to set you up anymore-”

Jacob felt like he’d been doing Atlas’s job for him, and Atlas had finally relieved him. “Ezekiel,” Jacob started to get the thief to quiet, “I’m a trans man.”

“Ooh, okay.” Ezekiel, despite his ability to don a quality poker face, had no control over the blush on his face right then.

Deciding he had nothing left to lose, Jacob decided to answer Ezekiel’s last question. “And you can stop with setting me up with women too...because I’m not straight either.” He let out a bark of a laugh at how surreal he felt, which made Ezekiel startle. Apparently Ezekiel realized how big this was for Jacob, because he was looking at him in amazement now. “I can’t believe I’ve not told anyone else that in two and a half decades.”

“You...it’s been that long?” Ezekiel blinked in disbelief. “How did you hide that?”

Jacob shrugged. “You’d be surprised how easily people will ignore things if you fit in somehow. And I wasn’t ever totally hidden...you met Slaten. He knew me, well, more than anyone else until the Library.” He knew what was coming next after he said that.

“Were you...together?”

A smile crept onto Jacob’s face, reminiscent. “It’s the worst when you fall for your straight best friend.”

“It really is,” Ezekiel replied, and then his expression changed to something more serious, his posture annoyingly more seductive with just a slight tilt of his head and angle of his hips. “Now I pride myself in reading people, a necessary skill for effective grifting, and, well, when I first met you, you gave off some repressed gay vibes for sure. Was there something more when you shoved me against that bookcase when ninjas were invading the Library for the crown?”

Jacob thought back to that moment. “Not exactly, I mean, I'm a fighter so my first thought was to immobilize you.” Ezekiel raised an eyebrow, but Jacob had more to say. He stepped closer to Ezekiel as he said, “then my second thought was you looked like you were enjoying it.” Now he was almost toe to toe with Ezekiel, and the thief had certainly picked up on where he was going. “And my third thought was that I enjoyed looking at you like that.”

Conveniently, they were near a bookcase, not the one from the memory, but close enough. With all other thoughts out the window, Jacob grabbed Ezekiel by the shirt and pushed him against the bookcase. Ezekiel let out a little gasp when his back hit the wood, making Jacob's heart flip in his chest. What he said was true; Jacob was enjoying pinning Ezekiel to the bookcase, and based on Ezekiel's turned on expression, he was too.

Ezekiel interrupted his observations. “Are you just going to look at me?”

“Hmm, I might with that attitude,” Jacob purred. Ezekiel scoffed, but he glanced down at Jacob's mouth, and then Jacob couldn't resist any longer. He relaxed his elbows and brought his face near inches away from Ezekiel's, but something making him hesitate.

Ezekiel read him like an open book. “You aren't second guessing, are you? There's nothing wrong with who you are, though your wardrobe could still use help-”

“Oh, shut it,” Jacob growled, but he didn't back away.

“Make me, cowboy,” Ezekiel retorted. That was enough to get Jacob to close the remaining distance and press his lips onto Ezekiel's.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration for him to say he felt fireworks when Ezekiel kissed back.

This was his family, this building, these people. Blood wasn't everything, despite what the folks back home thought. It only took him 40 years to find it, but he was very glad he did.

-----

Post Notes: So, this is some idyllic world where trans teens got HRT in the 80's, which as far as Google would tell me, wasn't a thing until more recently. Also, since I used “And What Lies Beneath the Stones” for reference on Jacob and Isaac interacting, I also noticed how the one protestor reacted when he looked at Stone, and my brain decided that was him recognizing Choctaw or another tribe in Stone because that's also a fun headcanon in my head from when people mentioned it way back.

I picture this happening after season four, so technically the LiTs don't remember the whole Jenkins dying bit (I feel like Flynn and Eve wouldn't say for time line stability, since Flynn does watch out for that already from “And the Final Curtain”).

[peaches-of-1]

A/N: This is not yet formatted correctly. I will fix it later! Merry Christmas everyone!

525,600 minutes 525,000 moments so dear 525,600 minutes How do you measure, measure a year?

Some would count in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. Others in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. Let me ask, in 525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? Hmm? How about love? I ask you. How about love? Would you measure in love? Seasons of love. Just seasons of love.

In her office, Maman scrolled through pictures of her and Hwasa. They were cute together, but the pictures didn’t show everything. Like the cheating. The breakup. The arguments. Just them smiling. Lying…

525,600 minutes. 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes. How do you measure the life of a woman or man? Would someone measure their life in truths that she learned, or in times that he cried? In bridges he burned, or the way that she died?

Either way, it's time now to sing out, though the story never ends. Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends. Looking back it was important to remember the love you’ve gotten before. You got to, you got to remember the love.

You know that love is a gift from up above. Religious or not, it comes from a place of light. Love comes from all that is good and hopeful in the world or out of it. Remember the love. Share love, give love, spread love. Measure in love!

Seasons of love. Just seasons of love. Measure, measure your life in love

______

It had been a few days since Christmas and was now New Year’s Eve. The crew hadn’t returned to their home since they had no idea how to get in and also there were cops patrolling. There weren’t many now that the year was coming to a close, so Hyuna, Hyojong, and Hui stood by the door.

Hui used his skills to slowly pan to the padlock, “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve: The Breaking Back into the Building Party.”

“How long till next year?” Hyuna asked now in magenta purple dress made of crushed velvet and lace around the hem. It was long sleeves which made her even warmer in her jacket and black heels.

Hyojong looked at his watch, “Three and half minutes…”

“I'm giving up my vices.” She said. “I'm going back - back to school. Eviction or not, this week's been so hot that long as I've got you, I know I'll be cool.” She booped his nose. “I couldn't crack the love code, dear 'til you made the lock on my heart explode! It's gonna be a happy new year!”

He lifted her off the ground and spun her around.

“A happy new year.”

Hui came back from making sure the patrols really were gone, “Coast is clear. You're supposed to be working.” He took the cheap alcohol from Hyuna. “That's for midnight. Where are they? There isn't much time.”

“Maybe they're dressing.” The red head teased. “I mean what does one wear that's apropos for a party - that's also a crime?”

“Chips, anyone?” Hwasa said in a bright red leather(?) bathing suit and matching heeled boots.

The film nerd laughed and pointed the older camera at her, “You can take the girl out of Hicksville, but you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl.”

She stuck out her tongue, “My riot got you on TV. I deserve a royalty!”

Hyuna snuck the bottle away from Hui, “Be nice you two or no god awful champagne!”

Hwasa skipped over to the beautiful girl, “Don't mind if I do. No luck?”

Hyojong sighed, “Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain. A total dead end.”

“Just like my ex-girlfriend.” The short haired woman dialed her just mentioned ex. “Jagiya...? I know you're there...Please pick up the phone. Are you okay?”

Hui chuckled as he filmed his own ex acting not so differently but also slightly different from when they dated. She swatted at him.

“It's not funny! It's not fair!! How can I atone? Are you okay?” She sighed. “I lose control, but I can learn to behave. Give me one more chance. Let me be your slave! I'll kiss your Doc Martens! Let me kiss your Doc Martens! Your every wish I will obey!!!”

Maman spoke from behind the desperate artist, “That might be okay. Down girl.”

Hwasa kneeled.

“Heel...stay.” Then she walked past the leather clad woman to talk to the others. “I did a bit of research with my friends at legal aid. Technically, you're squatters. There's hope, but just in case.” She pulled out a white bundle from her purse.

Rope!

Maman and Hui then began to plot, talking back and forth with him starting out, “We can hoist a line--”

“To the fire escape--”

“And tie off at…”

“That bench!” They said in unison and pointed at the same spot. They high fived each other.

Hwasa pouted, “I can't take them as chums.”

Maman scoffed, “Start hoisting...wench!” She tossed her ex the rope but was then chased by her and ran away with Hui close by.

Even Hyojong was able to crack a smile at their antics, “I think I should be laughing. Yet I forget, forget how to begin. I'm feeling something inside and yet I still can't decide if I should hide or make a wide open grin.” He grabbed his girlfriend around the waist. “Last week I wanted just to disappear. My life was dust, but now it just may be a happy new year. A happy new year!” He lifted the champagne bottle up high.

That’s when Namjoon announced himself dressed in all black, “Bond, James Bond.”

Key posed by his boyfriend, “And Pussy Galore. In person!” She had bolt cutters in hand.

Hyuna was glad to see her friend dressed up so well, “Pussy, you came prepared!”

The two hugged and Key said, “I was a boy scout once, and a brownie...'til some brat got scared.” He pursed his lips.

Namjoon deepened his voice even more to exclaim, “Aha! Moneypenny, my martini!”

“Will bad champagne do?” Hyuna asked, pouring him a cup.

“That's shaken, not stirred.” He took a sip. “Pussy, the bolts.”

Key grabbed both handles of the bolt cutter, “Just say the word!”

“Two minutes left to execute our plan.” the red head chirped.

“Where's everyone else?” Namjoon asked.

Hyojong snarked, “Playing Spiderman.”

____

Once inside, Hui began recording on his older camera. Ironic close up: tight on the phone machine's red light. Once the Boho boys are gone, the power mysteriously comes on. Everyone looked around, confused and suspicious.

Hui kept the camera on the answering machine, “Hui, it's the Wicked Witch of the West: Your mother. Happy New Year from home. We're all impressed that the riot footage made the nightly news. Even your father says congrats, honey...call him. Love Mom!”

The next message played, “Lee Hwitaek, Alexi Darling from Buzzfed.”

“Oh, that show's so sleazy.” He snarked.

“Your footage from the riots: A1. Feature segment, network, deal time. I'm sending you a contract. Ker-ching ker-ching! Marky give us a call 970-4301 or at home try 863-6754 or my cellphone at 919-763-0090 or you can e-mail me at darlingalexinews.com.net or you can page me at--” It cut off.

Hwasa beamed, “I think we need an agent!”

“We?” Hui asked.

Maman shook her head, “That’s selling out.”

“But it's nice to dream!”

“Yeah! It's network TV and it's all thanks to me!” The short haired girl threw her hands in the air.

Hui whispered to Maman, “Somehow i think i smell a whiff of a scheme!”

“Me too.” She responded.

And sure enough, Hwasa said, “We can plan another protest!”

“We?” The lawyer asked.

She nodded, “This time you can shoot from the start, you'll direct, starring me!”

“5, 4, 3, open sesame!” The window unlocked quite easily. “Happy new year!” Everyone cheered. “Happy new year! Happy new…”

The sound of a party horn being blown and the face blowing it ruined the wild mood.

Choongmin smiled, “I see that you've beaten me to the punch.”

“How did you know we'd be here?” The videographer asked.

“I had a hunch.”

“You're not mad?”

The business man shook his head, “I'm here to end this war. It's a shame you went and destroyed the door.”

Hyuna squinted at him, “Why all of a sudden the big about face?”

He smirked, “The credit is yours.You made a good case.”

“What case?” Hyojong looked at her.

“Hyuna came to see me, and she had much to say.”

She folded her arms, “That's not how you put it at all yesterday!”

“I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess!” The snake looked towards the camera man, “Hui, you'll want to get this on film.”

He shrugged and pressed record on his phone, “I guess.”

Choongmin faced the camera and cleared his throat, “I regret the unlucky circumstances of the last seven days.”

“Circumstance?” Hyojong laughed. “You padlocked our door!”

He continued, “And it's a great pleasure on behalf of Cyber Arts that I hand you this key.”

“Golf claps.” Key said sarcastically, clapping his hands together quietly.

Hui accidentally deleted the footage, “I had no juice in my battery.”

“Reshoot!” Choongmin said trying to keep his cool.

It didn’t get past E’Dawn, “Oh I see, this is a photo opportunity.”

Hwasa skipped in front of the business man and bowed low, “The benevolent god ushers the poor artists back to their flat.” She then flipped him off and went to sit on a table. “Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire from the lot too?”

“Anything but that!” Hyojong scoffed.

Choongie cut in, “Clearing the lot was a safety concern. We break ground this month, but you can return.”

“That's why you're here with people you hate instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate!” Hwasa stated.

He brushed his finger through his hair, “I honestly rather'd be with you tonight than in West Port.”

Hyojong scoffed, “Spare us old sport, the sound bite!”

That’s when he started to get huffy and pointed at the blonde, “Hyuna, since you were so seductive--”

“You came onto me!” She made it clear.

“Persuade him not to be so counterproductive”

“Liar!” Hyojong yelled.

The yuppie smirked, “Why not tell them what you wore to my place?”

Hyuna set her jaw, “I was on my way to work!”

“In black leather and lace?” He asked. “My desk was a mess. I think I'm still sore!”

She stood and yelled back at him, “Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore!”

“Does your boyfriend know who your last boyfriend was?”

Hyojong screamed at the top of his lungs, “I'm not her boyfriend, I don't care what she does!” He glared at her and refused to touch her.

Key had to step in, “People, is this any way to start a new year?” Cue jazz hands. “Have compassion, Choongie just lost his cat.”

“My dog, but I appreciate that.” He corrected.

“My cat had a fall, and I went through hell.” Key explained.

“It's like losing a…” He paused. “How did you know that she fell?”

Namjoon stepped in handing a class to Choongie, “Champagne?”

“Don't mind if I do. To dogs…” He raised his glass.

Everyone snarked back, “No, Benny, to you!”

“Let's make a resolution~” Key said, holding Hyuna’s hand.

She gave a sore smirk, “I'll drink to that!”

“Let's always stay friends.” Namjoon said.

Maman pushed Hyojong back towards the girl he loved, “Though we may have our disputes--”

“This family tree's got deep roots.” Hwasa said, getting a soft smile from her ex.

Hui proclaimed, “Friendship is thicker than blood.”

“That depends…” the blonde said.

“It depends on trust.” Hyuna jabbed.

To which he replied, “Depends on true devotion.”

“I depends on love.” Maman nudged once more.

“Depends on not denying emotion!” Hui said, giving Hyojong a look.

“Perhaps.” Was his only reply.

Hyuna wanted to get out of there, but the others on her side kept her from leaving. It was gonna be a happy new year!

“I guess…” E’Dawn said. “You're right.”

Key cheered, “It's gonna be a happy new year, doll!”

Everyone left to give the two their space and see what was left of their living space. Hwasa and Maman even joined hands, having made up in their own way.

“I'm sorry.” They said in unison.

“Coming?” Hyojong asked.

She nodded, “In a minute. I'm fine. Go~”

He kissed her forehead, proud of her for being clean for so long and trusting her. He just thought she needed her space, but then the dealer arrived with her fix.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” He asked, and the trade happened. “It's gonna be a happy new year.” He said mockingly.

________

VALENTINE’S DAY

Hui’s camera panned across the empty lot, “Hyojong’s down at Hyuna’s where he has been for almost two months now. Although he keeps talking about selling his guitar and heading out of town...he’s still jealous of Choong-ie. God knows where Namjoon and Key are...could be the new shanty town near the river or a suite at the Plaza.”

He decided to go for a walk and record some B footage and passed by where he knew where Hwasa and her on-again-off-again girlfriend would be, “Hwasa and Maman are practicing.” and the man was just about to open the door.

“I SAID, ONCE MORE FROM THE TOP!” Maman commanded.

“I SAID, NO!” Hwasa screamed back.

Hui backed up real quick, “That is if they’re speaking this week.” The he showed his face for the first time since filming. “Me? I’m here...nowhere...alone.”

~~~~~~

“The line is ‘Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsors: Great Communications wish to mitigate the Christmas Eve Riot’ What’s so difficult about that?” Maman said as if it were a piece of cake.

Hwasa gave her a pointed look, “It just doesn’t roll off my tongue.” Then she whined. “I like my version!”

She rolled her eyes, “You dressed as a groundhog to protest the groundbreaking?”

The short haired girl gave an excited nod, “It’s a metaphor!”

“It’s less than brilliant.”

“Ugh!” She stormed off the stage, “That’s it Miss Ivy League!”

Maman was surprised, “What?”

“Ever since New Year’s I haven’t said Boo. I let you direct. I didn’t pierce my nipples because you said it grossed you out. I didn’t stay and dance at the Clit Club that night because you wanted to go home!”

“You were flirting with the woman in rubber!” she pointed out.

Hwasa sighed, “That’s what this is about? There will always be woman in rubber flirting with me, gimme a break.” She went face to face with Maman. “ Every single day I walk down the street, I hear people say ‘baby’s so sweet’. Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me! Boys, girls, I can’t help it, baby.” She walked her fingers up Maman’s lapels and held her chin, “So be kind, and don’t lose your mind. Just remember, that I’m your baby.”

Then she strutted away, taking the long way back to the stage, “Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be! And if you give a damn, take me, baby or leave me.” The short haired woman smirked. “Take me baby or leave me!”

She lifted her arms high, “A tiger in a cage can never see the sun! This diva needs her stage. Baby, let’s have fun! You are the one I choose! Folks would kill to fill your shoes! You love the limelight too now baby. So be mine, or don’t waste my time crying ‘Oh honey bear are you still my my my baby?��” She went to the center of the stage and stood on the highest stacked crate. “Take me for what I am! Who I was meant to be! And if you give a damn! Take me baby or leave me!”

Hwasa then did a very sensual strut as well as poses to try to convince her girlfriend, “No way can I be what I’m not. But hey! Don’t you want your girl hot? Don’t fight, don’t lose you head, Cause every night who’s in your bed?” She slunk closer. “Who? Who’s in your bed? Kiss, aein?” She stuck out her lips.

Maman put her hand to block it, “It won’t work. I look before I leap. I love margins and discipline. I make lists in my sleep. Baby, what’s my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I hate mess but I love you. What to do with my impromptu baby? So be wise, cause this girl satisfies.” She did a small sexy dance. “You got a prize, so don’t compromise. You’re one lucky baby!” She decided to use her girlfriend’s phrase. “Take me for what I am!”

“A control freak.” Hwasa murmured.

“Who I was meant to be!”

“A snob yet over attentive.”

“And if you give a damn~!”

“Loveable droll geek!” She said slightly above her normal level.

The older woman leaned in, “Take me baby or leave me!”

“And anal retentive!”

That was it! The straw that broke their back. They quit!

Maman wanted to give her a chance, “Unless you take it back!”

Women, what is it about them? You can’t live with them or without them! They said the same things over and over again without trying to compromise or understand the otherside. They just wanted to be taken for what they were, who they were meant to be!

“And if you give a damn, take me baby--” Hwasa began.

The lawyer imitated her lover in bed, “Oh take me, baby!”

“Or leave me!”

Maman yelled back, “Take me, baby! Or leave me!” Followed up by, “Guess I’m leaving!” as she walked away, grabbing her purse.

They both turned to face each other one last time, “I’m gone!”

~~~~~~

Seasons of Love B - What you Own

So I ask you again. How would you measure your life? In diapers, report cards, in spoke wheels, in speeding tickets? In contracts, dollars, in funerals, in births? In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes how do you figure a last year on earth?

Figure in love. I say figure in love. Please figure in love. Measure in love. Seasons of love.

Seasons of love.

It was now spring, and it seems as though Hyuna and Hyojong were missing each other once again. He had been waiting for her for hours now.

She walked in, obviously high, “Sorry, I’m late.”

“Where were you? No, let me guess.” He said, listing off the excuses she gave. “You lost your key? No, no, no. You went for a walk. You had to help your mother.” He sighed and set his jaw. “How’s Choongie?”

Hyuna laughed at the thought, “Babe…”

“Don’t bother.” He already had his guitar back in its case. “I’m working upstairs tonight.”

“Wait!” She called out. “I should tell you. I should tell you…” Then she turned around. “Nevermind.”

Hyojong let out a heavy sigh and began to climb the stairs back to his own apartment, the phrase “Happy Spring” faltering on his lips. Hyuna waited until  he was gone to start working on getting her next high. Then she threw away the packet and realized how lonely she was.

Without you. She thought. The ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play, the stars gleam. Her legs carried her to the window with her head full of thoughts. The poets dream. The eagles fly.

Without you. The earth turns, the sun burns. Hyuna felt the water droplet on her hands, “But I die without you.”

Time passed, and new flowers had come to life. The two lovebirds didn’t fly near each other much anymore. In fact, they actively avoided each other. Hyojong got angry every time he thought of Hyuna’s red hair, and she didn’t want him to see how bad she had gotten.

While trying to not go to the dealer today, she thought she saw him pass by.

Without you. The breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. Without you the tides change, the boys run. The oceans crash.

And she continued her job at the Cat Scratch club, eyes bleary as she performed once again, everything moving in slow motion. The crowds roared for her as the days soared.

Hyuna sat outside again after work, not going to his place as she heard wailing. The babies cry without you. She looked up. The moon glows, the river flows, but I die without you.

Hyojong tried to write, “The world revives—”

She stared at a painting in Choongie’s office as she went to see him again, “Colors renew—”

But they knew blue, only blue, lonely blue, within them...blue. Even as Hyuna was undressed by the married man, she thought about her Hyojong and what they could’ve been. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats…

The musician couldn’t deny that things weren’t going well in his life either and sung to himself, “Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.”

Their minds churned and their hearts yearned. Yet their tears dried without the other in their lives.

The blonde stared out the window to see her linking arms with the yuppie scum and thought Life goes on, but I’m gone cause I die without you. Hyuna looked back as she felt him looking at her, but he moved away from the window at the same time.

Without you.

_____

Hui was at home when the familiar “SPEAK…” followed by a beep went off. A familiar nasally voice rambled off.

“Lee Hwitaek, Alexi Darling. Labor Day Weekend in East Hampton. On the beach~ Just saw Shawn Mendes told him you said ‘Hi’!” She paused. “Just kidding. We still need directors. You still need money. You know you need money. Pick up the phone. Don't be afraid of ker-ching ker-ching! Lee~sell us your soul~”

Another pause, longer this time, “Just kidding. We're waiting…!”

Maybe it was better to take up that offer of recording an orgy that Key told him about from his hospital bed. It’d be less dirty than working for Buzzfed. Fall had approached quickly. It wasn’t soon after recording that Hui got the call that Key passed away.

Everyone rushed to the hospital and cried. Hyuna was holding it pretty well until the doctor unhooked the monitor. Then she sobbed.. Hyojong was gonna reach out to her, but she turned into Hwasa’s arms. Maman pat the young man’s arm while Hui comforted Namjoon who was trying to hold his feelings back but couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Each of them spoke in turn at Key’s funeral. Then it was Namjoon’s turn. He tightly gripped the jacket his love had bought just last winter. Not even a full year ago. She was buried on Halloween, her favorite holiday.

He sang their song instead of speaking, “Live in my house…” he sniffled. “I’ll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, and I’ll cover you...open your door. I’ll be your tenant. Don’t got much baggage to lay at your feet.”

Joon remembered that winter day they were making out before breaking back into their building. Key had looked amazing in those heels, but the first day they met felt like yesterday. Her legs in those zebra print leggings.

“But sweet kisses I’ve got to spare. I’ll be there, and I’ll cover you. Oh! I think they meant it when they said you can’t buy love, now I know you can rent it. A new lease you...were, my love on life. All my life I’ve longed to discover something as true as this is!”

Maman picked him up by chiming in, “So with a thousand sweet kisses!”

525,600 minutes.

“If you’re cold and you're lonely.” Namjoon continued with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“With a thousand sweet kisses!”

525,600 moments so dear.

“You’ve got one nickel only.”

Maman knew she would never feel as much pain as he did, but still cried along the others, “With a thousand sweet kisses”

525,600 minutes

“When you worn out and you’re tired”

“With a thousand sweet kisses!”

525,000

“When your heart has expired!” Namjoon wailed. “Ooohh, lover, I’ll cover you! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahhhhhh! Ohhh lover!” He stared at the coat.

525,000 seasons of love

“I’ll cover you!”

The guests decided to give Namjoon some more time to say goodbye for the last time. Hui had to make a call.

“Hi. It's Hwitaek. Is Alexi there? Uhh, no need to bother her. Just let her know that I'm running late for my appointment. I'm at my friend's---yes, I'll still be there. Yes, I signed the contract… Thanks.” He hung up.

As he gazed across the friends he had collected this year, he took out his phone and pressed record, “How did we get here? How the hell…

Pan left. Close on the steeple of the church.

“How did I get here? How the hell...Christmas.” He smirked to himself. Christmas Eve last year.

How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot?. How can a morning this mild be so raw? Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memory when single frames of one magic night forever flicker in. Close-up on the 3D Imax of my mind.

“That's poetic.” He said out loud and scoffed at himself. “That's pathetic.” He changed the angle. “Why did Hyuna knock on Hyojong's door and Namjoon choose that phonebooth back where Key-hyung set up his drums? Why did Hwasa's equipment break down?”

Then he got silent and asked himself, Why am I the witness? And when I capture it on film, will it mean that it's the end and I'm alone?

Hyuna stumbled over the last step looking sickly as she asked Hyojong, “It’s true you sold your guitar, and bought a car?”

He nodded, “It’s true. I'm leaving now for Santa Fe. It’s true you're with this yuppy scum?” He motioned to Choongmin.

The man was unhappy, “You said you'd never speak to him again.”

“Not now.” The girl with a splotchy red dye job said as he found someplace to sick.

Maman helped her.

Hwasa butted in, “Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?”

“Yeah!” E’Dawn said.

Everyone was hurting. Maman spoke up, “Who said that you should stick your nose in other people’s---”

“Who said I was talking to you?” Her ex snapped.

They covered their hurt with hate and yelled at others instead of dealing with the pain.

The lawyer caught herself and said, “We used to have this fight each night--”

“Calm down.” Hui tried to stop things from getting worse.

“--She never admit I existed!”

“Everyone, please!” He begged.

Hyuna gave a scornful scoff and paced, “He was the same way. It was always ‘Run away, hit the road, don’t commit.” She shoved him. “You’re full of shit!”

“Noona!” Hyojong called.

Maman looked her ex up and down, “She’s in denial.”

Hyuna did the same, “He’s in denial…”

Hui tried again, “Guys!”

But he didn’t get through to the girls as they aired dirty laundry on such a day as this.

“Didn’t give an inch when I gave a mile.” Doc Martins stomped.

“I gave a mile!” Hyuna yelled.

Hyojong retorted, “Gave a mile to who?”

Now both Hui and Choongmin were trying to get them to calm down, “C’mon guys, chill!”

The girls looked at each other, “I’d be happy to die for a taste of what Kibum had. Someone to live for, unafraid to say ‘I love you’!”

“All your words are nice, noona, but love's not a three way street.” E’Dawn snapped. “You’ll never share real love until you love yourself. I should know.”

Namjoon pushed them apart, pointing at them with Key’s drum sticks, “You all said you’d be cool today, so please for my sake!” He let out a sob. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I can’t believe you’re going. I can’t believe this family must die. Our Key helped us believe in love.” He looked at his friends. “I can’t believe you disagree.”

In their hearts, everyone felt the same thing. I can’t believe this is goodbye.

Hwasa opened her arms, “Aein?”

“Honeybear.” Maman ran into them.

They chattered on about how much they missed each other and started to kiss. Even when one accused the other of biting their tongue, they made up and waved goodbye to the others to be with each other. The priest called for Namjoon who said he was coming to finish things up. Hyuna left with her businessman.

“I hear, there are great restaurants out West.” Hui tried to start a decent conversation.

“Some of the best, how could she?”

He cut the shit real quick, “How could you let her go?”

Hyojong shook his head, “You just don't know.” He sighed and looked at the church. “How could we lose Key-hyung?”

“Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain. At least now if you try, Kibum's death won't be in vain!”

Anger fueling his words, he replied, “His death is in vain!”

Hui was shocked, “Are you insane? There's so much to care about. There's me, there's Hyuna!”

“Hyuna's got her baggage too.”

“So do you.” He reminded his friend.

“Who are you to tell me what I know? What to do?”

“A friend!”

Hyojong clarified, “But who Hui are you? Hui has got his work’ They say ‘Hui lives for his work and Hui's in love with his work’.” He instead believed that, “Hui hides in his work.”

Hui scoffed, “From what?”

“From facing your failure. Facing your loneliness. Facing the fact you live a lie. Yes, you live a lie! Tell you why. You're always preaching not to be numb when that's how you thrive. You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive.”

He set his jaw, “Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive!”

E’Dawn scoffed and threw up his hand, “Poor baby!” He spat.

His dirty blonde friend wasn’t letting him do this to himself, “Noona still loves Hyojong. Is Hyojong really jealous afraid that Hyuna's weak?”

“Hyuna did look pale.” He admitted.

Hui spoke the truth as he wanted his friend to stay, to finish his business at least, “Hyuna's gotten thin. Hyuna's running out of time. Hyojong's running out the door!”

“No more, oh no! I've gotta go.” He grabbed the bag he had with all this things in there. It wasn’t much.

“Hey!” Hui called. “For someone who's always been let down. Who's heading out of town?”

Hyojong shot back, “For someone who longs for a community of his own. Who's with his camera, alone?” He didn’t apologize, but he said, “I'll call. I hate the fall.”

As he went towards his car, he ran into Hyuna.

“You heard?” The embarrassed blonde asked.

She nodded, “Every word...You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees. You don't want to watch me die. I just came to say goodbye love. Goodbye love, came to say goodbye love. Goodbye. Just came to say goodbye love.

Glory. Hyojong reminded himself.

“Goodbye love.”

One blaze of glory.

“Goodbye love, goodbye.”

He rushed passed her, “I have to find…”

Choongmin reached out his hand, and Hyuna pushed him away, “Please don't touch me, understand. I'm scared. I need to go away.”

Hui spoke up, “I know a place, a clinic.”

“A rehab?” Her boyfriend suggested.

She nodded, “Maybe. Could you?”

He nodded as well, “I'll pay.”

Hyuna still said her farewells, “Goodbye love, goodbye love. Came to say goodbye love, goodbye. Just came to say goodbye love. Goodbye love, goodbye love. Goodbye love,” She coughed. “Hello, disease!”

She ran off, and Choongmin thought it best not to follow.

Namjoon came out of the church being yelled at by the parson, “Off the premises now, we give no handouts here!”

“What happened to rest in peace?” Hui asked.

The priest glared at him, “Off the premises,” and he used their word against them.

Namjoon pointed at him, his love’s drumsticks in hand, “That’s no way to send a boy to meet his maker! They had to know we couldn’t pay the undertaker.”

Hui went to comfort his friend. What would they do?

Choongmin spoke up, “Don’t you worry about a thing. Hey!” He called to the frocked man. “I’ll take care of it!”

The priest rolled his eyes and closed the door on them.

“Must be nice to have money?” Hui said.

“No shit.” The others said in unison.

Then the man wearing a gray beanie admitted, “I think it only fair to tell you, you just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog.”

“I know.” Choongmin chuckled. “I’ve always hated that dog.” He then threw his arm around the two and said, “Let’s pay him off and then get drunk.”

Hui sighed, “Can’t. I have a meeting.”

“Punk.” Namjoon said.

Choongie nodded his head to the nearest bar, “Let’s go.”

The two men left for the bottom of a bottle and the dirty blonde filmer sat in front of a camera and a colorful but neutral background as he talked about something going on in the world of k-pop and how it was coming more important in American pop culture, but it was just gossip about certain idols instead of the things that mattered. The things Hui actually wanted to do.

He asked himself what was he doing?

“Don't breathe too deep.” Someone scolded him.

“Don't think all day.” Another senior told him while handing him a new article. “Dive into work.”

December came even more quickly than it had last year. E’Dawn wasn’t getting jobs and found himself constantly writing about Hyuna. Everything he penned down or scribbled on cafe napkins was about her.

Drive the other way. Hui told himself. That drip of hurt, that pint of shame goes away just play the game. Why was this a thing? He chuckled and said to himself. You're living in America at the end of the millenium. You're living in America leave your conscience at the tone.

And when you're living in America at the end of the millenium. You're what you own. The filmmaker cannot see and the songwriter cannot hear. Yet Hyojong saw Hyuna everywhere while Kibum’s voice was in Hui’s ear. They tried to ignore it by telling themselves to just tighten those shoulders. Just clench your jaw til you frown. Just don't let go or you may drown.

You're living in America at the end of the millenium. You're living in America where it's like the Twilight Zone. And when you're living in America at the end of the millenium. You're what you own.

So they decided to own not a notion, to escape and ape content.

“I don't own emotion,” Hyojong said as he decided drive back to New York. “I rent.” He hadn’t painted his nails black in such a long time.

Hui stood on the roof of his building projecting clips onto a sheet and paused on a clip of the first day, “What was it about that night? Connection in an isolating age.”

For once the shadows gave way to light.

“For once I didn't disengage.” Then he stood and paced. “Angel, I hear you, I hear it

E’Dawn knocked on the closed pawn shop, “Mimi I see you, I see it.”

“I see it, I see it, my film!”

“I hear it, I hear it, my song!” the blonde said now with blue hair.

Hui quickly grabbed the land line and called to do something he had wanted to do for a long time, “Alexi, Hui, call me a hypocrite. I need to finish my own film! I quit!” He hung up. ���One Song Glory.” No. That’s not what was important anymore. Was it ever. What mattered now was, “Hyuna, Your Eyes!”

“I quit!” Hui said.

Dying in America at the end of the millenium. They were dying in America to come into their own. And when you're dying in America at the end of the millenium. You're not alone.

Hyojong ran to the roof and smiled as he saw his friend standing there, “I'm not alone!”

“I'm not alone.” He embraced his cool toned buddy tightly.

Voice Mail #5 - Finale B

SPEAK. Beep

A slightly rough but beautiful voice came over the speaker, “Hyojong, this is your mother. Hyojong, honey, I don't get these postcards. ‘Moving to Santa Fe’ then ‘Back in New York Starting a rock band’ Hyojong, where are you? Please call.”

On a cell phone backstage at the Cat Scratch, a message was left, “Hyuna, dal, eodiya? Neoui eomma. Eodiya, Hyuna? Call.”

A very busy office phone remained unanswered, “Kitten, wherever are you? Call me.”

Later, over the speaker after SPEAK and a beep, “Hui, are you there? Are you there. I don't know if he's there. We're all here wishing you were here too. Where are you, Hwitaek? Are you there, are you? Where are you? Hui, are you there? Are you there. I don't know if...Please call your mother!”

______

Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing. How time flies. When compassion dies. No stockings. No candy canes. No gingerbread. The homeless mourned: No safety net. No loose change. No change no...

“Santy Claus is coming!” He simulated jacking himself off.

The others just put up with it. Cause Santy Claus ain't coming. No room at the Holiday Inn again. Well, maybe next year or when.

Hui turned on the camera, “December 24th, ten PM. Eastern standard time. I can't believe a year went by so fast. Time to see what we have time to see.” He turned the projector on.

First shot was Hyojong with the fender guitar he just got out of hock when he sold the car that took him away and back.

He grinned, “I found my song.”

The dirty blonde nodded, “He found his song. Now if he could just find Hyuna.”

“I tried.” He said and added with a heavy heart. “You know I tried.”

Hui turned the camera on himself, “Fade in on Hui who's still doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Hyojong joked, “But he's got great footage which he's cut together to screen tonight.”

“In honor of Choongie’s wife--”

“Muffy--”

The man chucked, “Alison, pulling Choongie out of the East Village location.”

Then the lights cut off.

The blue haired E’Dawn looked up, “Then again, maybe we won't screen it tonight.”

Sitting in one of the foldable chairs, Hui asked, “I wonder how Alison found out about Hyuna.”

“Maybe a little bird told her.”

Namjoon appeared in the doorway, “Or someone gave her the key. I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow.”

“Tutoring again?” Hyojong asked, accepting the cash.

“Negative.” He sat on the table and pulled his feet up.

Hui questioned, “Back at N.Y.U.?”

The man shook his head, “No, no, no. I rewired the ATM at the food emporium to provide an honorarium to anyone with the code.”

“The code?” Hui tilted his head but received no answer.

E’Dawn nudged Joonie, “Um...?”

Namjoon smiled, “K-I-B-U-M. Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution. The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell. In a small, exclusive gourmet institution where we overcharge the wealthy clientele.”

They chuckled as their friend began to say, “Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe”

“Santa Fe” the other two copied.

“With a private corner banquette--”

All three said, “In the back.”

It felt like old times as they talked about Namjoon’s someday dream, “We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe.”

Hyojong gave a little smile, “But you'd miss New York before you could unpack.”

Their fun humming and catch up session was interrupted by a call from downstairs.

“Hui! E’Dawn! Anyone help!”

Hui looked out the window, “Hwasa?”

Her and Maman were carrying something, or someone, “It's Hyuna! I can't get her up the stairs!” “No!” Hyojong screamed.

Quickly, the guys helped get Hyuna upstairs while they got her onto the table and used all their jackets to warm her up.

Hwasa explained, “She was huddled in the park in the dark and she was freezing, and begged to come here.”

“Over here? Oh, God.”

Hyuna mumbled, “Got a light. I know you. You're shivering.”

Maman put her scarf under her head, “She's been living on the street.”

“We need some heat.” Hyojong said.

“I'm shivering.”

Hui said, “We can buy some wood and something to eat.”

Namjoon put his hand on his friend’s shoulder, “I'm afraid she needs more than heat.”

“I heard that.” Hyuna piped up.

Hwasa held her hand, “Collins will call for a doctor, honey.”

She shook her head, “Don't waste your money on me…”

“Hello 911?” Namjoon spoke on his phone. Then he sighed. “I'm on hold.”

“Cold...cold... would you light my candle?” The black haired girl sang.

Hyojong nodded where she could see, “Yes we'll--oh God. Someone find a candle!”

She pulled him closer, “I should tell you. I should tell you.”

“I should tell you. I should tell you.” He forced back tears.

Hyuna touched his face, ���I should tell you, Choongmin wasn't any--” She turned her head and coughed.

Wanting her to save her energy, Hyojong sushed her, “Shhh. I know. I should tell you why I left. It wasn't cause I didn't--” love you.

“I know. I should tell you.”

“I should tell you.”

She looked in his eyes, “I should tell you. I love...y…” her body went limp.

Hyojong sobbed, “Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar?”

Hyuna inhaled deeply and coughed once more. Quickly, her true love grabbed his guitar and returned to his darling’s side.

“Hold on! There's something you should hear. It isn't much, but it took all year.”

The blue-haired boy strummed his guitar, “Your eyes as we said our goodbyes, can't get them out of my mind. And I find I can't hide from your eyes. The ones that took me by surprise. The night you came into my life/Where there's moonlight, I see your eyes. How'd I let you slip away when I'm longing to hold you? Now I'd die for one more day `Cause there's something I should have told you. Yes there's something I should have told you when I looked into your eyes.” He wiped his face. “Why does distance make us wise? You were the song all along and before the song dies! I should tell you, I should tell you”

He set the guitar down and held her hands tightly, “I have always loved you. You can see it in my eyes.”

They kissed and then she was gone. Hyuna stopped breathing. Everyone huddled together and held on to one another. Hwasa clung to her fiance Maman. Hyojong felt his heart break. He had tried to hard to find her so that he could be with her for however long they had left. It wasn’t supposed to be this short! He would do anything to have her back.

“NOONAAAA!” He wailed.

Hyuna sat up with a start, “I jumped over the moon!!!!”

Everyone was shook.

“W-What?” Hyojong asked.

“A leap of moooooooooooo…” She looked around, dazed.

Maman gasped, “She's back.”

“I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm, white light!” Hyuna explained.

Hwasa hit her girlfriend’s chest, “Oh my god!”

She continued, “And I swear Key was there and she looked GOOD!” She let out a chuckle. “And she said ‘Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song’”

Namjoon started to remove the jackets and blankets, “She's drenched.”

“Her fever's breaking,” The short haired girl added.

A profound thought came to Hui, “There is no future. There is no past.”

Hyojong looked at her, “Thank God this moment's not the last.” He hugged her tightly as both of them spoke together. “There's only us. There's only this. Forget, regret or life is yours to miss. Though it took just a year for them to learn here's only now, remind yourself that sometimes there's only here. Make sure to give in to love or you’ll live in fear. There’s no other path. No other way.

No day but today!

[seriouslyhooked]

Scoring Your Love (Part 13/?)

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six,Part Seven,Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve. Story also on FF here and AO3 here. Banner by the wonderful @timetravelandfairytales

Modern AU where Killian is a world famous soccer star who has hit rock bottom and been sentenced to the place where ‘football’ legends go to die – America. While here he crosses paths with Emma, an up and coming musician and film scorer who challenges everything he thought he knew and makes him want more than the game he’s always loved. Will be filled with fluff for days. Rated M.

A/N: Okay my friends. I just want to inform you all before you start reading that this chapter is not my usual happy go lucky fluff. For some of my more soft-hearted readers (you know who you are), I would recommend that you wait to read this until tomorrow when I will post chapter 14. I won’t be offended at all if you wait, and by then the stormier seas will have calmed a bit. For the rest of you, however, I hope you will enjoy this chapter. It’s a really important one for the story and it brings us to a cross roads I have been anticipating since I first came up with this AU. That being said I appreciate you reading and look forward to hearing what you think!

“Okay, so does anyone have any questions about what our next steps are?” Tiana posed the question to a room filled with staff from the show who were all gathered for the weekly update. Before anyone could respond, however, Tiana ran through the final bullet points of the meeting they’d just had. “We’ve got the writers working on crafting episodes seven and eight now, filming of five ends today and six starts tomorrow in Burbank, and three and four are finishing in post.”

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement, giving Tiana the green light to end the meeting much to Emma’s enjoyment. Not that it wasn’t fun to be a part of a big show like this. So far she’d felt simultaneously challenged and excited at all of the scoring work she got to do to keep pace with a network production, but Emma always did better in one on one or solo settings. Being a part of a larger team and running through the plans had never really been her style. She was a workhorse, but she preferred to focus on her piece of the puzzle and leave the grand designs for showrunners and producers.

“Emma, can I talk to you for a quick sec before you bolt?” Tiana asked, her smile wide as she called Emma out for her more singular tendencies. Emma agreed that she could and waited behind as everyone else filtered out of the conference room.

“What’s up?”

“’What’s up’ is that you are unbelievable, girl! I got the final cuts you sent over last night and it’s amazing. I got chills like five times, and I knew every twist that was coming.”

Emma smiled at the praise, knowing that the magic of sound when added to a base cut was really something. A show or a film was never finished without it, and though it wasn’t the flashiest part of production, Emma knew the music and the score could pack just as much punch if done right as any dramatic acting or cinematography.

“Oh good, so this isn’t one of those ‘you’re fired’ kind of meetings then?” Emma joked.

“Hardly,” Tiana said with a genuine laugh as she shook her head. “You’re the real deal, Emma, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. I sent your stuff up to the network execs and they’re thrilled. They’re convinced we have a hit on our hands and you helped make that possible.”

“Just doing my part,” Emma said honestly.

“Well either way you’ve made some powerful people very happy, especially since there’s a new potential producer that wants in. A very wealthy producer.”

Emma’s eyes widened at the statement. It wasn’t unusual from Emma’s understanding for producers to join as shows were still on the air, but to add someone with money this early when the pilot hadn’t so much as premiered was a big deal. Though Emma hadn’t worked much in TV before, she knew that shows were seen as a big risk in their first few seasons. There were a lot of factors that could make or break a new series, and at the end of the day the most important thing was ratings. To survive, a show needed to resonate with a lot of people, millions of people, and that wasn’t so easy these days.

“Congrats, Tiana. That’s awesome. I know how hard you’ve worked on this, and you deserve every success.”

“Thanks Emma. So that being said… I was hoping I could ask for a favor.”

“Name it,” Emma said, willing to do whatever she could to help out her friend and boss.

“The potential partner is in town just for today and he’s coming to check out the production side of things. He’s going to see a bit of the set and meet some of the actors but he’s also interested in post, specifically the music. Turns out he’s heard of you and he was hoping to get a look at your process.”

Emma hadn’t expected anything like this and to be honest she was surprised. Despite all of the interest that she’d garnered after the Oscars, Emma still felt strange about being noticed, and the actual craft of scoring was always a relatively personal thing. She collaborated of course, working with other musicians and sound designers, and reporting to directors and show runners like Tiana, but to have an outsider in her space was a very different thing. For some reason it made her a little uneasy, but rationally she knew that was silly. She should just take the compliment and live up to her promise to Tiana. This would be fine, just a few minutes spent schmoozing with a potential investor, and then she could go on her merry way.

“I know, I know, it’s kind of weird and intrusive. I wouldn’t ask if I could see a way around it, Emma, but he seems really interested and…”

“And in this business money talks,” Emma said, prompting a knowing nod from Tiana.

“Exactly. I mean technically we don’t need the money, but it just never hurts, even if we know we just have it for a rainy day.”

The rationale Tiana offered was something Emma understood well. It fit in with the facts of Tiana’s backstory that Emma already knew. Coming form a working class family and losing her Dad early in life, Tiana was used to living in the real world where having things was not a given. She might have had some advantages over Emma, being raised by her mother and her grandmother, but that same underlying pull to try and create a comfort that she never had was there.  Money was something that granted access and possibility, but it had to be worked for and protected. Emma knew that first hand, and she knew the drive to collect and save what she could just in case something went wrong. For that reason she could let go of her misgivings and do this for the show and for Tiana.

“I understand,” Emma said. “Just send him down whenever you’re ready. I’ll be around most of the afternoon.”

“Fantastic!” Tiana said with a clap of her hands. “I owe you, Emma.”

With the conversation now finished, Tiana took her leave, no doubt to play superwoman and handle every possible crisis or flare up that would crop up through the day. Emma, meanwhile, headed to the studio, deciding it was best to continue on like it was a normal day instead of focusing on a potential visitor. She situated herself in the booth and got to work.

Having just finished the final touches on an episode the night before, Emma now had a whole episode to create for. It was a real blank slate to start fresh on, and there were completely different themes needed for the final cut. She needed a few pieces for Ruby and her costar – the heroes of the hour and the side of good that the audience should root for. Some of those themes she had already made, and she’d only have to rework them a little from previous episodes, but others required she start completely from scratch. Emma needed emotion packed pieces for the episode’s twist and one for the sad state that the victims were in at the beginning before Ruby and her partner stepped in to save the day. But in the end Emma decided to go for a darker, more sinister piece today.

In every episode of the show there was always some kind of villain, the person (or creature) that committed the crime or was causing the chaos that the heroes had to fix. Usually that was a harder mindset for Emma to get into, and for the past few episodes she’d left that piece almost for the end, but after last night’s fiasco at dinner and the run in with that terrible Gold fellow, Emma was feeling strangely inspired. It wasn’t difficult to channel the emotions needed to depict monstrosity, not when she’d experienced his cold, calculated evil, and been filled in on so much more after dinner.

“Truth be told, Emma, I don’t even know where to begin,” Killian said as they finally entered his apartment and she told him that it was time for them to talk. “The lies that man has told… they’re not something I ever want to touch you.”

“I think it’s too late for that. I know you’re trying to protect me, Killian, but the only way to do that is to tell me the truth.”

“Aye, love. I know. I only wish it wasn’t quite so ugly.”  

Ugly or not, Killian confessed everything to her that night. He told her about the life he used to have, which was pretty much on par with what Emma imagined the life of a world-famous soccer player would be. She had hardly imagined he was a monk, and honestly she’d just been glad it wasn’t as bad as it could be. In the scheme of things, the unmoderated drinking and the partying and the fights wasn’t that bad. When she thought about the drugs and the lifestyle of some of the people she’d met here in LA she was relieved. That being said she wasn’t exactly thrilled at the fact that there was a time when he leaned into the bachelor playboy image, and hearing about his liaison with Gold’s ex-wife… well it just didn’t sound like the man she knew now.

“Why did you do it?” Emma asked, genuinely curious as to why he would start something with a man like Gold. Surely Killian had to know it would go terribly, but he’d made the choice anyway. He wasn’t stupid, so there must be a reason.

“Because my life was in shambles, love. I had nothing even thought it seemed that I had everything, and I was too foolish to realize that the dream I’d always had lacked anything like substance. I was tricking myself into believing that I had what I wanted, but everything I had was a lie. It wasn’t real or authentic, and I think deep down I knew that. I was desperate to be checked, to be forced out of the same bloody horrible cycle, and this was just a way to have to face the music.”

Emma thought long and hard about that, and it made sense the more she thought about it. Killian had been scouted when he was still so young, and before that he’d dedicated his whole life to this sport. He had no one in the world except for his brother and the only thing they really seemed to share was soccer. Emma imagined what a dream like that would mean for a young man, and she knew that anyone is his position would be tempted to give in and live the fast life that went with it. She could even understand his reasoning now about subconsciously wanting someone to put a stop to all of it, even if she never would have made those kinds of choices herself.

“Do you regret it?” Emma asked, wanting to hear what she already knew – that he was different now and that he wanted different things than he had in the past.

“No,” Killian replied, surprising her. “I mean yes, I wish I hadn’t made that choice with Milah. It was beyond bad judgment. It was seedy and ugly and it’s spiraled to something I never imagined or ever wanted. But even the worst parts – the complete lack of privacy, the lies, the character assassination – they were worth getting here. I wouldn’t have ever found my way to you without those choices, Emma, and though I’m ashamed at the man I was, I had to make those mistakes to find you and I can never regret that. I can only move forward. I can only try to show you that I’m not really that man. Not anymore.”

For better or worse Emma heard those words and she felt them to be true. She looked at him and the details of his past that weren’t all happy and shiny and hopeful and she accepted them. Killian wasn’t perfect, but Emma knew she couldn’t judge him. Bad choices were something everyone dabbled in at some point or other, and after Killian had told her everything and more, Emma felt like she had room to share some of her own worst moments too.

“I was in juvie,” she blurted out, both because she wanted to alleviate some of the feelings of shame on Killian’s face that had formed since his confessions and because she knew that she wanted him to know every part of her just like she did him. “I was sixteen. I’d run away from another group home and I tried to hotwire a car to get me out of the state.”

“Tried to?” He asked, clearly shocked but not giving off any kind of judgmental vibes as he pushed for details.

“Okay, I did hotwire a car.” Her words made something shift in his gaze and Emma swore he looked impressed. Leave it to Killian to find the best in one of her worst faults. “And I made it a whole ten miles before I got caught.”

“What kind of car was it?” he asked after a thoughtful pause, completely surprising her. Most people asked what happened. They asked what juvie was like or if she regretted her decision, but not many cared about the car. She’d always appreciated that since it was a bit embarrassing.

“This vintage yellow beetle, and by vintage I mean old.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.”

She’d then proceeded to tell him the rest of the story, about how juvie was the scariest thing she’d ever gone through and how she’d started to really let go of the belief that things would ever be okay. Emma had been alone her whole life, but solitude was better than being there those first few weeks. The culture inside there was tense at best, and she’d felt isolated and afraid all the time. Only when she’d been put into some of the art and music classes had she found any sort of comfort, and the only reason she’d had a fighting chance at a better life thereafter was because her music teacher and her social worker had stayed in touch. They’d seen something in her and they fought for her second chance when Emma didn’t know how. Everything she had now she owed to them, and she didn’t think she’d ever have found her path if she hadn’t made some terrible mistakes.

But even though last night had proved a critical step in their relationship, Emma couldn’t help but resent Gold. His presence in LA might have forced Emma and Killian to be open with everything, but his intention was hardly helpful. He was a cruel man and a vengeful one and Emma could never forgive him for what he’d done to Killian and what he was still doing. Wasn’t it enough that Killian’s reputation had taken such a hit and he’d been forced to leave the team he loved? What kind of person kept kicking someone when they were down?

Someone with an unchecked ego and a whole bunch of crazy, Emma reasoned to herself as she thought it over, and it was that dynamic that made Gold the perfect muse for a villainous figure. He lacked the heart most people had, and his actions undercut the sympathy any one could feel for him. Maybe he’d been wronged, but his vendetta surpassed the bounds of decency and that was a monstrous trait indeed, one Emma hoped she’d never have to deal with face to face again.

“Knock knock,” a voice said, pulling Emma from her music, and as she pulled off her headphones a sudden wave of apprehension hit her. The voice had been muffled by the audio on her feed, but even before she looked her hair stood up on edge. When she turned to find Gold, she was only half surprised even as she recoiled. God this man was creepy, and she definitely did not want to be anywhere near him.

“How did you get in here?” Emma asked, ignoring any kind of pleasantries with a man who deserved no such kindness. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Now, now, Emma. Is that any way to talk to a new investor?” He said with a wave of his hands and a flash of his teeth that was less a smile and more a snarl.

Emma’s heart sank at the realization that Gold was the potential producer Tiana was scoping out and she knew that despite Tiana’s hopes this was not going to work. She hated to make her new friend choose but if Gold was signing on then she was signing off. That being said, Emma had always prided herself on being able to read people, and she didn’t actually think Gold was here for an investment opportunity. He was here to cause trouble, plain and simple.  

“You and I both know you don’t actually give a shit about the show,” Emma said, wanting him to give himself away without her asking him flat out.

“Oh Miss Swan, how you wound me. You really think I’d stoop to such a low? You think I’d come all this way for nothing?”

His voice dripped with sarcasm, making the strange tone it had grind upon her ears even more. It was almost sing-songy and Emma wondered if and how he got away with these theatrics in the real world. Apparently money bought a lot of freedoms the rest of the world didn’t benefit from. After all, she couldn’t be the only one who thought he was so over the top. It was clear as day and frankly undeniable.

“I think you came here to mess with Killian, and it’s not going to work.”

“You say that now, but that’s only because you don’t know -,”

“I know,” Emma cut in, interrupting whatever crazy rant he was about to go on. “I know what Killian started with you. I know the choices he made.”

Gold grinned at this, seeming to take a sick satisfaction in the fact that he had forced Killian to reveal himself. Emma wasn’t swayed by his reaction in anyway though. In fact, she just felt more hostility and more need to defend Killian and assure Gold he hadn’t hurt them in the slightest.

“I also know that you’re insecurity is what’s brought you here. You’re fighting a war over what, your hurt pride? If you ask me that’s the sign of a very insecure kind of man.”

“Well no one asked you, did they?” he snapped, his attitude shifting from the weird playfulness to full on threat. Her blood ran cold as she saw the malice that crossed his expression, but just as soon as it was there it was gone. Jesus, this guy was a full on sociopath. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what you say, dearie. My battle with Jones ends when I say it does.”

“What else is left?” Emma asked. “You’ve already taken so much -,”

“I have,” Gold sneered, interrupting her. “I thought I’d taken everything, in fact. But then low and behold you arrive and now it’s like he’s won. I can’t have that, Miss Swan. Surely you must see that.”

“So you what? Thought you’d get on this show and threaten me.”

“It crossed my mind a time or two,” Gold said brightly. “But you strike me as the kind of woman who is burdened with integrity. My guess, having met you, is that you’d play the martyr. You would leave this job and any other before you hurt him.”

Emma stayed silent even though what Gold said was true. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right, but Emma knew that this job wasn’t worth more than what she had with Killian. Music would be her passion no matter what, and as for the rest of it, she’d figure it out. She’d always figured it out before.

“That’s why I’ve decided to change my strategy. You can relax, dearie. I won’t be signing on for the show. You’re little dreams are safe from me. But Killian’s…”

“What about Killian’s?” Emma asked defiantly. “You can’t get to him. He’s protected now. He’s signed on with Regina and they have an agreement.”

“They do,” Gold said. “And at one time she was a valuable ally, but the tides have changed.”

“What did you do?”

“I did what I do best, Miss Swan. I found the person I needed, then I found their greatest weakness, and from that weakness I struck a deal. This deal just so happens to be with the president of the European Soccer League.”

The sense of foreboding Emma got from this weighed heavily on her. She had a thing about lying – she knew when someone was being honest, and Gold had all the power here. Whatever weapon he had found he was being honest about it, and Emma knew exactly what he had planned without his even having to say it. He still did of course, because he was terrible, and as the words washed over her Emma only felt worse and worse.

“You see, in exchange for some discretion about the… less than savory parts of his life, he’s made me a promise – that Killian Jones will never play in Europe again without my say so. He’ll never play in any respectable league without my go ahead, and he will never get that, dearie… unless.”

“Unless?” Emma asked, her heart pounding in her ears as her palms grew sweaty and her eyes threatened to form tears. She fought them though, unwilling to show weakness to such a man.

“Unless you end things with him. Now.”

And there it was, the ultimatum. Either Emma would give Killian up or she would take away the biggest part of his world. Killian loved soccer, and for all Emma knew he had every intention of doing his time here before going back. Everyone talked about how he deserved that chance, how the league here wasn’t challenging enough for him, and how the world deserved to see him on a stage befitting his skill. But in giving him up Emma would be giving up so much of herself, because she loved him – she loved him in that big, huge, once in a lifetime kind of way, and she didn’t think she’d ever get over him no matter what other dreams may come her way.

“I know this is a lot to process, Miss Swan, you seem very taken with Jones for whatever reason. I realize you’ll likely have to think about it. But I will warn you my offer is not without limits. You have twenty four hours to make your choice and in the meantime there will be no contact. No calls, no visits. If you speak to Jones the offer is void. I want you to cut him off completely. It’s the only way I’ll consider the score even.”

The numbness Emma felt at taking all of this in was debilitating. She was so angry and so hurt at the same time. There was so much emotion swirling around inside of her that she was paralyzed from it. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t think. She felt trapped and suffocated all at once. It was excruciating, and Gold loved every second of it. He even had the balls to laugh at her pain and at the horrible choice he’d given her.

“I’ll take your stunned silence as a sign that you understand me, and that I should go.” With that he grabbed his things and made to head out. But before he left he turned back once more offering one last cruelly gleeful grin. “Good-bye, Emma. I hope you make the right choice.”

Emma couldn’t say exactly how long she stood there when Gold was gone. It could have been seconds, or an hour or more. Honestly, she was reeling from the interaction, caught up in a daze that she just couldn’t seem to shake. She was stuck in limbo, unsure of where to go, but eventually something did pull her from the mire of her thoughts: the familiar ding of a text message sounding from her phone. She reached for it quickly, hoping it would be Ruby or Mary Margaret. Someone who could help – someone she could trust, but instead it was exactly the person she wasn’t supposed to see.

K: Missing you like crazy today. We still on for tonight?

Her finger hovered over the reply bar for a while. One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three. Four. Five. But the more that came the harder it was to think. She just didn’t know which way to go. Her heart was dying to say yes and to tell him she loved him. She wanted to run to Killian, to tell him the truth, and to find a way to fight this together. But she hesitated, wondering if that was love or if it was selfishness. Was she making that choice for them, or would she be doing it for herself because she loved him and couldn’t picture a life without him? 

Emma didn’t know the answer to that question, and Gold said reaching out in any way would make the choice. Once she replied the damage would be done, and so she didn’t, instead shutting off her phone and slipping it into her bag with the rest of her things. She didn’t know where she was going, but Emma knew she had to leave. She had to run, and right now she didn’t where she was going, only that she had to go.

Post-Note: To those of you brave enough to ignore my warning and read this I hope you aren’t too angry with me. I did warn you after all, so you kind of knew what you were in for. That being said I PROMISE I am going to fix this for Emma and Killian and I am going to fix it next chapter, which as I have said, will be posted tomorrow night. I really hated to make it a cliff hanger at all, but the chapter was already a lot longer than my normal one so the cut off had to be made. Don’t worry though. I will make the next chapter longer too to make up for it. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you have a good rest of your night!  

[sinsins52]

Everything Wrong With Everything Wrong With Teen Titans Go! To The Movies

ORIGINAL VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq3g4pJY07Y&t=0s

1.He’s slightly improved in a few ways, but he still has the same terrible intro that begs for likes.

2.He also still refuses to put his sinning intro over the actual title card. So really it’s Everything Wrong With _____

3.”A full minute of intros and I’m not even sure because two of them were for the WB” The 2nd one was for WB Animation, which is no different from all the other major animated films, it ain’t that long of a log sequence until the Marvel joke one.

4.”And already the first joke is them playing off the Marvel Cinematic intro. There’s so many Marvel jokes in this movie one might think they’re a bit bitter because they’re kicking their ass in the movie industry” Marvel is the dominating force in the superhero movie industry, and this movie spoofs a lot of that, so no duh there’s some Marvel jokes. Hell, there’s some potshots at DC, even in the first trailer!

5.”The welcome to Jump City sign is well within the center of the city. I think everyone knows where they are by the time they get that far in” That’s how it works in real though, or in the least my city is like that. And get used to him being pedantic, even by Sin standards..

6.”I don’t think anyone’s accidentally going to Jump City, one of the most riddled with crime places in the world, right next to Gotham or Metropolis” I…don’t get this one. I mean I don’t even know how to explain why you’re wrong I don’t even get your point. That accidentally really throws me off.

7.He sins all the references in this establishing shot, even though they are basically cute Easter eggs that are not sins.

8.”Batman’s not even liked in Gotham yet he has his own building” But maybe Jump City likes him fine. Also, this version of the DC characters is different in tons of ways, so why are you assuming it’s exactly like the other version in this case?

9.”I am upset that this isn’t even a gag character. It’s an actual person who exists in the DC world” That same world also has Kite Man and Condiment King. Just saying, the DC universe is weird and it’s not weird for a spoof movie to acknowledge this.

10.”Before he was crushing buildings with no problems, but now he can squeeze between them without them even building” He was punching at them before to destroy them as they were smaller than him but these two were a bit taller and there was a small space. Do the math.

11.”The safe is comically huge in comparasion to the actual bank” Congrats, you noticed.

12.”This why you can’t bring Starfire to a petting zoo” They were balloons. They pop. Come on.

13.”I get it, they’re supposed to be failed heroes but they’ve done plenty of stuff even in the TTG to be known within their own city” Maybe to the citizens or something, but not to this random villain we’ve never seen in the show before, and maybe he’s not super up to date anyway.

14.”Can’t Wonder Woman still fly in this world? I’m not sure why they gave her the invisible jet other than lol references are funny again”. If I had an invisible jet, I would show it off as much as possible…Maybe not “show” per say…

15.Also, the jet isn’t really a joke so that doesn’t apply here.

16.”Of all the heroes in Jump City, they had to pull out the A squad for Balloon man?” He still a pretty decent threat though, with all the destruction he was doing.

17.”They only make movies about real heroes” “But they’ll sure as hell make a Netflix original about just about anyone” If you’re referring to the Marvel shows, they're about pretty well liked and solid heroes, even Iron Fist isn’t that silly or an idea given their roster.

18.”The titans can afford to make their own movie, they have a private island and own a giant building” You mean like they do make? The one Robin dislikes because it is is so rnky dinky and he wants a serious Hollywood movie?

19.He really over analyzes a background reference to Young Justice.

20.”Further proof that the bat credit card has been canon all along” How does that Utility Belt movie prove this?

21.He shows off a fairly lo0ng clip just to sin another background gag. He likes to run the clips for too long, almost like he wants the video to be longer for extra watch time…

22”Breaking the 4th but yeah, he’s not Deadpool” That would work better if not for the actual Deadpool joke they make later. Oh and this character that character!

23.’I get it, this is a comedy movie-” And that’s when you should have stopped talking. His sin is that Slade being more comedic is “insulting” even though it really isn’t.

(By the way, this scene has them thinking Slade is Deadpool and Slade finds that comparison stupid because there’s plenty of guys with swords like him. The Titans would be amazing at Cinema Sins!)

24.He says he’s removing a sin for the Circe of Life spoof…but he ends up adding one. Whoops.

25.”Batman kills a baby-” In a dream sequence.

26.”This improvised song already has a billboard” A visual gag for a song is a sin I guess. Also, no sin removal for this?!

27.”This might be a bit overboard for a nitpick-” Lol.

28.”Would it have been okay if his dad wasn’t a cop?” No, but that fact does make it a bigger deal.

29.”Stan’s cameos are not subtle but neither are the references in this movie” And yet when they are subtle, you sin them anyway.

30.”Leaving them with the permanent injures” “And huge medical dat making him go right back to that life of crime-” Yes, because if he didn’t have bills, he’d just…give up crime for no reason? Also, I have no idea what he says but it sounds like “Dat” for screw it.

31.”Raven, who didn’t know the time cycles even existed prior to this was able to summon them from an unknown location because that’s how her powers work now” That’s how they’ve always worked but okay.

32.”When I think of rad, I definitely think of terseness are on tricycles” What, you don’t?

33.”What’s up with the 80’s fetishim in this movie? Take on Me, Tricycles-” I don’t think Tricycles are an 80’s thing.

34.”And Batman doesn’t remember the Teen Titans being the ones that pushed his parents into an alleyway to be brutally murdered” Eh, it’s scarring and all but I can buy him not remembering their exact faces and hey, they don’t dwelll on it too much since you’re not supposed to think about the logic in this silly movie too hard.

35.The bit where Cyborg and Beast Boy fal to be saved prompts him to go into this long winded rant on how it’s not possible. And I thought the previous sin was pedantic. This is after he sinned the movie for having bits that go on too long, by the way.

36.The sin counter randomly drops to 42 before going back to 85 in the next sin.

37.”Superman skips leg day, because that’s what happens when you can fly anywhere” …K?

38.”You already have Netflix, so there’s literally no reason for this” This is on a bigger scale and tell that to DC.

39.”Can you guys mainly do this so that Robin can get the movie? Wouldn’t this be the right choice?” I have no idea what you just said.

40.”He would have to keep up this facade all these years to compete these movies” Correct me if I’m wrong but there’s nothing to indicate “Jade Wilson” has been around for years, just that she’s a big director and those can rise fairly quickly sometimes.

(Frankly the real sin is that he didn’t just give the Robin the movie right away so can finish his plot quicker. Seriously, he just made it more complicated for himself)

41.”Slade, instead of using the swords and guns he has, decides to instead blow up an entire town” I think that’s far more efficiency in this case though.

42.”For a plan this is pretty retarded” Ugh.

43.”Added camera shake to make things more intense” Yes, that is why they did that, well done. Also, I hardly even noticed that here.

44.”-And I don’t mean that shitty Netflix original series were Starfire looks like a hooker” It’s not for Netflix and something that way you worded that bugs me.

45.It says Episode Sin Tally.

SINS VIDEO SIN TALLY: 45

SENTENCE: Mind Manipulation

Yep, our old friend Moliminus actually beat SeriesSins to it. I wanted to give SeriesSins time to do his video, but his taking his time so here we are. I will do his sometime in January if all goes well. I think this is the most sins for an off brand video, but that’s only because this video is 27 minutes long for some reason.

Anyway, I want the SinsSin post that goes up closest to Christmas to be a Cinema Sins video, so we’re doing Off Brand sins next week as well. And with it, we go back to a 2000’s animated movie.

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 7 - Wrap Up

HOW YOU BOOIN’?!!

Yes, I know that Halloween won’t be here until next week, but when my daughter showed me this clip the other day, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait that long to post it.  In it, Wendy Williams (talk show host) has a mild stroke/faints on live TV...and in the background as she falls it says on the screen HOW YOU BOOIN’?  LOL.  She explains in a longer clip that this was not a joke and that she did in fact fall and faint but it was because her costume made her too hot and she passed out!  So, how does this pertain to fantasy football?  Easy.  Guys, fantasy football is suppose to be fun.  Just like dressing up for Halloween is fun.  But, if you take it to serious, if you put on too many layers before you head out the door, you are going to overheat and you will pass out.  This year, I want to encourage you to enjoy fantasy football.  Don’t try so hard that you fall and hit your head on something.  It’s just not worth it.  The season will be over before you know it...for some sooner than others, so please relax and enjoy while you still can!

TREE HUGGERS vs MOOSES ON THE LOOSES

Hold up there Scotty K, not so fast!  You can have first place in the “even” division for 1 week but any more than that is not allowed thanks to The Moose!  And yes, that’s what Mitch wants me to believe.   He want’s me to think that the only reason Scott lost this week was all because of Mitch.  I have the text thread to prove it.  He wanted me to “thank him” for beating Scott.  He practically demanded it.  I reminded him that maybe he won because it was the first week this season that Tree Huggers didn’t break 100 points so maybe that was it.  No, he wouldn’t hear that.  He insisted that I thank him and you know what...I did.  I said, thank you Mitch for allowing Matt Ryan to get hurt, thank you for making David Johnson watch the game rather than play in it.  And thank you for leaving points on your bench by not playing Ekeler against the Titans.  If it wasn’t for you, I would not be where I am today.  Literally.  Sorry Scott.  I guess it’s good to get that one out of the way but hard to do it, like I did, against The Moose!  There’s always next week!

ISUCK vs LONG LEFT BALLERS

Speaking of winning.  I won.  But you know what?  Sometimes winning is sweet and sometimes it’s sour.  This week wasn’t all that sweet, I won 119 - 109 but there was literally a moment with 5 min left in the Dallas game where if Dak would have given the ball to Elliott to run in from the 6 yard line instead of taking it in himself - Bebo would have won by 1 point.  Also, had Bebo done the logical thing and played Marvin Jones instead of Calvin Ridley - he would have not only beat me but had the high point win for the week.  And let’s not forget losing Mahomes early...another reason I won.  So, am I glad I won?  Sure.  That kind of stuff happens to all of us...but I do wish that I could have beat him without knowing that 1 move here or 1 player different there and I would have been on a 2 game losing streak.  So, I guess if I need to thank anyone - it’s not Mitch...it’s Bebo for not having a Tight End to play and for the Marvin Jones debacle.  I will say he did put up an impressive 33 points on defense with the 10 point shut out bonus - which kept the game tight until the end.  Good game Bebo.  Go study!

HOWARD vs FUNK GUY

He’s the current Champion of this league.  He’s 5-2.  He just won high point and made $20.  He’s kind of a big deal.  He’s the “Funk Guy” and let me tell you - he takes fantasy football and this league very serious.  If that first paragraph applies to anyone it’s Dana.  Sometimes he might take it too personal.  If you don’t believe me check the waiver wire transactions and see how active he is.  He played Chase Edmonds just because....who does that...Dana does and Chase put up 38.  He had a great week from Brissett with 35 as well.  Howard on the other hand, how did he prepare?  Well he decided to NOT play Aaron Rodgers who had 53 points and he also played an Inactive Player - Devonte Adams.  You know what playing an inactive player tells me?  That Howard just doesn’t give a shit.  You know?  Who does that...plays a player who isn’t playing and let points sit on your bench.  He could have played AJ Brown.  Nope.  It’s disgusting frankly.  Good win Dana.  I am so sorry that you were matched up against someone who probably won’t even read this.  #neighbor

MR AWESOME vs TuPADRE

I am assuming that everyone in the league knows that Andy and Gabe are pretty much best friends.  They do the high five thing, they live in the trendy 12th South neighborhood together, they both play music...you get it.  So it doesn’t surprise me that this week Andy let Gabe win.  He saw that Gabe had only had 1 win this year...he knows he’s busy with his Taco business and he wanted to do him a solid and give him a win.  I wouldn’t even be surprise if they met about it on one of their long “high five” walks and Andy told him who to play and who to sit.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if Gabe gave him free tacos or Ladybird merch to compensate for the “arrangement”.  I don’t know how  you all feel about this but really I could care less.  Let them have their secret deals and shady backdoor football games.  I am going to focus on me and let them focus on them.  “Congrats Gabe” (wink wink)...good win!

BOOMER SOONER vs TRADE WITH ME

If anyone needed a win this week it was Stu Jones.  After losing 3 in row - he really really needed it.  Basically ever since he texted me in week 3 about how he is going to make the playoffs - he has lost...week after week after week.  Brett has a least has sprinkled in a win here and there to mask the pain.  Never mind that this match up was a bit like the Titans vs the Chargers (two 2-4 teams) meeting up in a battle to find out who is the worst.  In this case it was Brett Rutledge who came away with that honor- he is the Chargers in this analogy.  I mean there’s really not much to say about this one.  Fournette and Hopkins did what they were suppose to do and everyone else crapped the bed.  Stu left points on his bench but had enough going on in his line up to finish with the win.  To be honest, it’s possible that Lanakila vs Shart N Sweet should get the Minka award, final game still has to be played, but even if that happens I wanted Stu to have this lovely picture of Minka attending what looks like the premier of “Huntwatch” whatever that is...I am assuming it has little to do with Kareem Hunt...but maybe.  Good win Stu.  Brett - back to the trading room.  If you still want to do that deal of Watkins for Hopkins hit me up!

SHART N SWEET vs LANAKILA

Here we go - Lanakila slides into MNF once again looking to grab a win.  If he does - guess what - he will be 6-1 - something no one else in this league is so that will put him in 1st place over all.  When I sat to start writing this paragraph Lanakila was up 103 - 81.  The Patriots Defense is off to a good start and for Kyle - Sony has grabbed a TD and Meyers already has 35 yards - so it should be a good one to watch....

Ok - so once again the Patriots defense come up huge!  With the shut out bonus they grab a total of 43 points for Cliff.  Amazing.  The Patriots D could prove to be the MVP of the year in the NFL.  I know for Cliff they are for sure his MVP. 

Kyle - you had a great night with Sony Michel but it just wasn’t enough.  But once again - you outscored Mahomes with Watson this week - that HAS to feel good.  Good win Cliff - you almost stole the high point away from Dana.  So close!

SURVIVOR

It’s still going...no one lost.  Everyone moves on. 

[luccie-eclair]

Dear Fellow KPop Fans,

I'm going to go ahead and put this disclaimer here: if what I'm saying doesn't apply to you, then don't worry about it. However, if you know that you've been an absolute ass to other fans and even the idols themselves, then sit on down and let me tell you what you're not about to do to these wonderful, hardworking people or their fanbase.

Therefore, I don't want to hear crap about "Well, not EVERYONE from [x] fandom is like that". Guess what? I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the bad apples that ruin the name of your fandom when you're just trying to have a good time.

WARNING: I'm about to be hella salty. Don't mind me 🤗

1) These fan wars need to stop. It's pathetic. What are you? 12? No, wait. There are 12 year olds more mature than this. Not only is it unnecessary, but some of things you say to each other is just hurtful. I know we have a freedom of speech, but some of y'all really abuse that. What's sad is that the people doing it will never, and I mean NEVER, have the balls to say it to anyone's face. Do you honestly think that you're cool or funny hiding behind a fake name and fake age? You're not. You're telling everyone who has access to the internet "Hey, guys! I'm an ass who doesn't deserve friends because I treat people like shit! Make sure you block me!" You, yes you, have created a bad name for your fandom. So if you're ever wondering why someone says "Oh, ONCE's are so immature and rude" (that was an example, so chill because I'm a ONCE myself), it's probably because they've had to deal with jerks like you. Congrats. You played yourself. Oh! And chances are, the group whose fans you're being rude to is probably friends with your bias group. If they can be cordial and polite with drama, so can you. Grow up.

2) This whole "[x group] can't sing" argument has got to go. It's a weak argument and no one is falling for it anymore. Just to let you know, and anyone who was previously a trainee can confirm or deny this, you have to have some kind of talent in singing to even BECOME a trainee!??! Meaning! They have to stand out above the crowd. There is something about their voice that sets them apart for that company to even consider taking them under their wings. Even then, you probably have still have to go through another 2 auditions to be a trainee. If it's that hard to be a trainee, then think about how hard it is to get into a debuting group. Just think. Got an idea? Okay, now take that "can't sing" argument and throw in the trash. "Oh, but they lip sync", you mean like most musicians?!?!? In case you haven't noticed, not EVERYONE is built to be able to sing perfectly and still master dancing and being out of breathe. Sorry, honey, but even Queen Beyonce (while doing very well) doesn't get every single note correct while dancing under hot ass lights and running low on breathe. Doesn't mean she's less of a performer.

3) These rating members lists, "[x] idol is too fat despite being at a considerably healthy", "[x] idol (normally male) looks like a child", and "[x] idol (female with short hair) is too manly" also needs to go. Actually, insulting these idols as if they aren't people, as if they don't have emotions, as if they're supposed to just brush it off despite it being hurtful. NEEDS. TO. STOP. These people work their asses off all the time, sometimes having to stay up for over 48 hours to finish their long schedule with few breaks. You can rent a movie theatre and take several seats. You sit there and call yourself a fan and yet bash them???? Excuse me???? Don't even get me started on the ones that PAY MONEY to go to their fansignings and yet treat them like dirt, demand shit, hit them, and throw things at them. That is a new form of low.

4) PERSONAL SPACE!!!! Why does anyone even need to say that?!?!?! It's one thing if you calmly walk up to an idol (Bow first, please. They are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, etc. Respect is a big thing) "Hello, my name is [x]. I like your work. Can I trouble you for a photo or autograph?" If they say they're busy, bow and say thanks for letting you meet them. If they consent, finish up, bow, say thanks, and leave. DO NOT: crowd them to the point where they can't breathe or move, grab or touch them (believe it or not, you're a stranger to them), start flashing pictures and recording them, or screaming in their ears. AND: if they ask for you to leave them alone and let them be on their way, step off! You can argue "Well, they're celebrities. What do they expect?" THEY expect to be treated like people??????? Not animals???????? I'm confused with the logic. Because someone is famous, they no longer have basic human rights anymore? Is that what you're saying? That they're objects meant only for entertainment? Because I see a person. But maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the crazy one.

5) If you don't like a group, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone is entitled to an opinion whether someone else agrees or not, but it's how you express it. Don't know what I'm talking about? Let's draw a picture (these are purely examples, so chill). Bob doesn't like BTS (again, example), he calmly and politely states that and gives good, legitimate reasons "Their concept doesn't suit them, lacks passion, the choreography isn't great, etc". Okay, Bob, while I don't agree with you, I see what you're saying and thanks for being respectful. Meanwhile, Jane doesn't like BTS and decides to go in the BTS tags on Tumblr to bash them and their fans, posts nasty comments on their videos, and even goes as far posting rude stuff on their V-Lives. This is obsession and this is not okay. There's disagreeing and there's being a jerk. Bottom line: Don't be Jane.

6) Who an idol dates is none of our business. They're their own person. They are consenting adults. Leave them alone. I'm sorry to crush your dreams, but they don't know you. Realistically, your chances of scoring a date with your idol is very low. I'm sorry, but that's life. You will find someone else. I promise. I'll even help you, but leave these people alone.

7) Example: Umji from Gfriend decides to do a stream with just her and Sowon. Please don't come on their stream and proceed state that you'd rather see SinB or Eunha. That is so rude and I can only imagine how they feel. It's called being empathetic i.e putting yourself in someone else's position and understanding their plight. We should all try it sometime.

8) This isn't a don't per se... eh, whatever. It's kind of irking when groups are compared to one another. Like, they may have similar concepts, but the size is different, the members are different so everyone has a different voice, the overall sound is different. I just don't find it... fair to compare them, but that's life, so I won't worry about it too much. Disregard!

I know that I probably missed a few more, but the bottom line is be a decent fucking person. It really isn't hard. You know phrase "do unto others"? Try it. It will get you far. Trust me, I know posting about this is pointless given that every fandom on this website is pure cancer because of a few bad eggs. But there comes a time when you just need to speak up against it. I'm kind of new to the Kpop scene and I'm already sick of a lot of these people. Also, if you see someone from your fandom being an ass, please say something because this behavior is not okay.