#confetti and airhorn noises!!!

[lightbulb-warning]

every so often ill go through devastating anxiety attacks over posting art on tumblr and it's so SILLY babe you love picture on the internet WHY ARE YOU CRYING

[dailypearldoodles]

i love you cosmic your great but MORPHS BACK!!! :0000

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

is he gonna do the oh "i just got kissed and i kinda liked it move?"

is he?

*airhorn noises and confetti* HE DID

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Shattered Identity

Chapter five: Pizza party at Vlad's! And gross horrors, lots of gross horrors.

Chapter one. Chapter two. Chapter three. Chapter four.

"Jeez, you two almost gave us a heart attack!" Tucker halfheartedly scolded the half-ghosts in the hallway as he texted Danny the message that the two broke off their fight on their own. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad things didn't get uglier than this, but next time, at the very least, yell for us if something happens instead of just turning the office into a haunted confetti storage room."

"Sorry Tucker, I didn't know you and Sam were here in the first place."

Danielle sheepishly twiddled her thumbs while her new little brother tapped on the bandages on his neck with an annoyed huff in response.

"Oh.. right, no vocal chords, my bad..." The geek winced. "Maybe we can get you an airhorn later."

"Or he could just scream without words." The technically older clone offered. "You two heard the ghost speak, right?"

"Huh, I always figured that ghost speak would sound... creepier and less like random animalistic noises?"

"♓︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎���︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎□︎◆︎■︎♎︎ ♍︎❒︎♏︎♏︎◻︎♓︎♏︎❒︎," [if you want it to sound creepier,] Jack cracked his neck at an unnatural angle, the sickening sound followed by the squelches of wet ripping noises reverberated through the mansion and the action left the bandaged head dangling limply, giving the impression it was only attached to his body through the bandages on his neck themselves... "♓︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ❍︎♋︎🙵♏︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎◆︎■︎♎︎ ♍︎❒︎♏︎♏︎◻︎♓︎♏︎❒︎..." [i can make it sound creepier...]

"Gah! Never do that again!" She shivered and punched the older halfa's arm, who let out a raspy chuckle as he reattached his head and opened the office door.

An uncomfortable silence fell as the destroyed state of the office was discovered, much worse than how the sparring spirits left it, large globs of bright magenta ectoplasm had grown(?) all over the office, globs that weren't just the messy aftermath of the brawl, they were writhing and squirming as if they were alive, some of them even had developing eyes and teeth..

"❄︎◆︎♍︎🙵♏︎❒︎, 💧︎♋︎❍︎, 🙵♏︎♏︎◻︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♎︎♓︎⬧︎⧫︎♋︎■︎♍︎♏︎..!" [Tucker, Sam, keep your distance..!]

The two humans, while they didn't understand what the ghostly host said, understood the unknown nature of the threat at hand as well as his body language and backed away from the scene while the mansion's owner took a slow, hesitant step into the infested office, trying not to catch the attention of the strange creatures, their unfocused eyes instead drifting over the room itself as the bandaged ghost gingerly searched through the rubble looking for the most important items to salvage from it.

"...What are these things..?" Danielle's voice stayed small to not catch any unwanted attention from the unknown ghostlike entities as she followed him, her fist alight with a charging ectobeam as she kept an eye out for sudden movements from them.

"I_D-O-N-T_K-N-O-W" He spelled out on the recovered Ouija board "I-V-E_N-E-V-E-R_S-E-E-N_A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G_L-I-K-E_T-H-I-S_B-E-F-O-R-E"

Sure, from their perspective, 'Jack' not seeing anything like this was a given, he hadn't existed for very long, but Vlad had genuinely no idea how he had done this. A failed copying attempt that he didn't think through during the fight? Maybe a mishap with etco-barriers? ...Something else entirely..? All he really knew was that this was his ectoplasm everywhere and that it was alive.

Cheese curds! He should've known that he was biting off more than he can chew!

How was he supposed to handle this on his own?!

His powers were useless like this at best and detrimentally unstable at worst,

he couldn't get across how important this was to Danny without telling the truth,

but he can't tell Danny the truth!

Let alone Dani!

If they know that he's the real Vlad and he has all his memories but almost none of his powers,

they're going to take advantage of his weakened state and kick his butt!

and

at this rate all of Amity park is going to be enveloped in whatever this horrific ecto-gunk was before he even had a chance to carry out his plan-

and

Maddie is going to see it-

and

use it as a reason to make MORE of those horrible guns-

and

use them on the gunk as well as every single ghost in her sights-

and

she'd naturally set her sights on the ghost zone itself-

and

there wouldn't be a war between humans and ghosts,

and

except that it would be a genocide that he couldn't stop-

and

and

and

and

and-

Snapping out of the downward spiral of negative thoughts, Vlad felt the familiar lab coat being draped over his shoulders as well as two people touching him, one hugging him from behind (the person in question being small enough that people might mistake it for a piggyback ride), and the other who was awkwardly patting his shoulder.

Ugh, was he crying..?

Well, now he had another reason to keep his true identity secret from Danny and the others.

He would die of embarrassment if they knew that he wasn't a clone, still had his memories intact, and yet was still reduced to this weak, pathetic, over-emotional wreck, either they'd find it hilarious or worse, still pity him despite everything.

Part of him wanted to break off the hug to preserve the tatters of his pride and dignity while another part of him just wanted to stay like this a bit longer.

As humiliating as it was for him, it was also kinda nice to be held, to be reassured (albeit clumsily), to be comforted, to be loved.

"Uh, guys, hate to interrupt something but I just wanted to let you know Sam's ordering pizza, what flavors do you want?"

Both saved and damned by the pizza orders, the three halfas broke it off and Vlad put the lab coat on properly.

"Uh Pepperoni?" Danny shrugged.

"Also Pepperoni" Dani nodded.

"E-X-T-R-A_C-H-E-E-S-E_P-L-E-A-S-E"

"Got it" Tucker gave them a thumb's up and turned to head back to Sam before popping his head back in. "Will the cats try to attack the pizza guy?"

"NO_I" He fumbled with the planchette in an attempt to cover up the slip. "V-L-A-D_D-I-D-N-T_O-R-D-E-R_T-A-K-E_O-U-T_O-F-T-E-N_E-N-O-U-G-H_T-O_W-A-R-R-E-N-T_T-H-A-T_T-O_M-Y_K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E."

"Okay, thanks!"

The tech geek left for real this time, leaving the three to their own devices.

"So Danny, have you met my new little brother?" The physically youngest ghost gestured to the tallest.

"Jack? Yeah, he showed up at my house and named himself after my dad."

"You named yourself after someone you just met?" Dani snorted in amusement.

"T-H-E-R-E-S_W-O-R-S-E_N-A-M-E-S_T-O_G-I-V-E_Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F_A-N-D_B-E-S-I-D-E-S_H-E_S-E-E-M-E-D_P-R-E-T-T-Y_N-I-C-E" Vlad shrugged nonchalantly.

From the dishonest ghost's actual perspective, it was something done because he named himself after the first thing he saw (that being the giant oaf) and he stuck with it because in foresight, 'Vlad naming his son after him', would break Jack Fenton that much more during both the reveal of Vlad's death as well as the funeral, in which he and Maddie would either figure out on their own or he'd tell them in his speech that he never had the chance to meet his father before his untimely tragic fate. And Maddie would feel all the more guiltier when she finds out that her horrible gun has taken a human life, one that, while she didn't care very much for, was important as well as cherished by many...

"So how did you know how to find Danny's house so quickly? Or did he bring you there?"

"H-E_F-O-U-N-D_M-E_I-N-J-U-R-E-D_A-N-D_T-R-I-E-D_T-O_H-E-L-P" The bandaged spook explained, being honest yet vague. "A-N-D_I_C-A-M-E_B-A-C-K_I-N_T-H-E_M-O-R-N-I-N-G_T-O_P-R-O-P-E-R-L-Y_I-N-T-R-O-D-U-C-E_M-Y-S-E-L-F."

"Well that's my super-cool cousin for you!" she playfully punches her gene-donor's shoulder. "Always willing to help!"

"Heh, yeah..." Danny gave a nervous smile to his clone and a concerned to 'Jack'. "Hey, speaking of which, you and I need to talk about your... 'issue' in private."

"G-I-V-E_M-E_A_S-E-C-O-N-D_T-O_G-R-A-B_M-Y_T-R-A-N-S-L-A-T-O-R"

Danny nodded and waited as the lanky spirit visually followed the charger to the discarded aid and cleaned the non-living ectoplasm off of it before putting it on his neck and giving him a thumb's up which Danny gave back.

Following the fourteen-year-old out of Dani's presumed ear shot, the lab coat wearing specter nervously picked at his hand's bandages wondering what 'issue' Danny was talking about, his mind almost imminently racing towards him asking 'did you get your memories back?' or something similar.

"Okay, so, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you and Dani aren't fighting with each other anymore, but right now, we're playing with fire with this cover up. You might not remember, but she's been through a lot because of you- er, Vlad, I could not care less who else does and doesn't know the truth, but she needs to sooner rather than later."

Unbeknownst to the two of them, the clone was eavesdropping out of their sight. Her concern for her new little brother turning into intrigue.

"I know." he nodded somberly. "I plan on telling her everything after the funeral itself. I agree that she does need to know soon, but right now there's too many moving parts to keep track of and I don't know how she'll react to it."

Danny crossed his arms as he frowned at the taller halfa.

"Look, I might not know what I've done, but I get that I've done a lot before waking up and that there's no amount of verbal apologies that would undo all of it. However, this is for her safety too. Like it or not there's two problems that take top priority: Your mom's gun that will cause ghost zone genocide if nothing's done with it, and the power vacuum Vlad's death will inevitably cause. If you think that it causing genocide is just a hyperbole, think back on it, all it took was one hit to reduce a fully-grown, powerful halfa down to just a damaged core desperately clinging onto life, a core that would've shattered if left on its own, so tell me, what do you think would happen if you or her got hit with it?"

"...We'd instantly die..."

"Exactly, and your mom, a competent ghost hunter, knows how powerful that thing is and if it doesn't have any drawbacks from her end, she most likely wont stop using it until every ghost in her sights is dead, yes, even the good ones as well as the not as good but still likeable ones. As for the power vacuum, there are a handful of ghosts who know Dani's origin other than us, ghosts who would be more than happy to kill the only known heir to Vlad's estates while she's none the wiser. But if I handle the funeral *just* right, I could kill two birds with one stone, keep your mom from using the gun ever again and seal up the power vacuum. I know that she'll hate us-"

"Us? Where did you pull 'us' from?"

"Danny, she'll hate me for obvious reasons and hate you because you knew this big secret about me this entire time and never told her. But it'll be okay because she'll still be alive when she hates us, alive and safe. Which in a messy situation like this is the absolute best possible outcome."

"...Right..." Danny sighed.

"Hey," Vlad put his hand on the teen's shoulder reassuringly "she might hate me forever, but not you. Either someone she knows and trusts other than you will talk some sense into her or she'll cool off on her own and realize that you're not the bad guy in this. That in some cases, there isn't a bad guy when there's a bad situation and that sometimes, bad things just... happen and good or neutral guys are bad at handling it."

"Yeah... Thanks, I needed that..." he softly smiled.

Assuming that the conversation was wrapping up, Dani flew back to the office with new secret information to chew on for herself as well as keep hidden from her cousin and brother.

She already knew about Vlad's death and some things were self-explanatory, like the new gun being a big problem, but just how much did Jack Masters know? What dark secrets did the clone of Vlad hide that he shared with Danny and yet were so horrible that she'd never forgive him if she knew?

Was his original purpose not to tie up the loose ends Vlad's death left behind like he said but instead he was made with some of his gene donor's memories intact so that Vlad had pseudo-immortality only for Jack to betray his 'father' by living a different and new life?

Did he try to hunt down Danny and his parents just like how she originally tried to capture him?

Maybe even something worse..?

At the very least, they weren't worried about his malnourished frame meaning something bigger than it was, or Vlad's disease being fatal for Jack, or even the living ectoplasm he created was dangerous like she originally assumed the talk was about, and she could find some comfort in knowing that he valued her safety and well being over their bond as family. Her new brother might be shady, but he had a heart somewhere in those shadows.

"Oh hey guys! How was the talk?" She innocently greeted them as they approached the office.

"It went well."

"Yes, it was rather... informative." Jack picked at the bandages on his forearms while looking around the destroyed office for a distraction. Wait, where did the living ectoplasm go?! "Oh right! I can't believe I almost forgot the records!" He blurted out to keep the two from panicking as much as he was.

"...Records?" Danny raised an eyebrow at the pair.

"Yeah, fake marriage certificates, divorce paperwork, birth certificates, Social Security Numbers, school documents, passports, a not-fake-but-still-legally-questionable death certificate, maybe a fake death certificate for a woman who doesn't exist or two..." Jack listed off on his fingers "My job's more than writing the death certificate and will and calling it a day."

"Woah, woah woah! What do you need all that for?"

"Daniel, the days where someone can just pop into existence as the ages we are without any records of existing prior without drawing suspicion are long behind us. Sure, we could get away with not having them if we intend to live as a state-crossing nomads for a couple of weeks or months if we're lucky, go feral in the woods and let the public come to the conclusion that we were raised by animals while our bio parents abandoned us, or live in the ghost zone where there's a lot less organized existence trails, but we can't live like the average human person without this stuff, not in the long term in the human world. Sooner or later, the government is going to catch up to us and when that happens, we at least have something to shoo them away."

"Huh..."

"Wait, going feral in the woods is an option?" Dani asked her two-day-old physically older brother.

"Yeah, but it's not a good one. Trust me, I tried." Vlad waved off without further elaboration and shuffled the documents.

"Guys, pizza's here!"

Saved by the pizza yet again, the three changed back to their human forms and followed the geek back to the Mansion's foyer, where Sam was waiting for them along with several boxes of pizza and cans of soda were set down, almost enough to feed a frat party rather than a small group of teenagers who happened to have different diets. ...He had a strong feeling that they paid for all of this with one of his debit cards.

"Here you go." Tucker handed the bone-thin halfa five boxes. "I figured you could use it."

"Thanks..." Vlad stared at the boxes in his hands and gestured with his head. "...I'm just gonna, eat these in the other room..."

"No! No! You can stay, we won't judge!" Dani tugged on his sweater sleeve while giving him puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, but all of you get ONE question each, so use it wisely." He set the boxes down and sat on the floor next to them, crossing his legs while opening the top box

"What makes you think we're going to ask questions?" The goth raised an eyebrow "Everybody but Danny already saw your gross ecto-oozing fa-OH MY GOD!"

Everybody but Dani stared at the sight of Vlad's scarred, almost mangled-looking face in horror as the eldest teen just rolled his eyes at their terrified expressions, pocketed his face mask and munched on a slice of cheesy pizza while the others gawked at him like he was some sort of monster.

"...Does it hurt?" Dani was the first to break the awkward silence. "To eat, I mean..."

"Nope, I don't have any working nerves in my face." He lied nonchalantly between bites, not wanting them to know how much pain he was actually in. "Regardless of if its supposed to hurt or not, I can't feel a thing."

"..So if I punch you in the face, you wont feel it at all?" Sam was the next to ask.

"Yes, and you wasted your one question on that, so now you can't ask if you can test it." Vlad immaturely stuck his tongue out at her while she rolled her eyes out of annoyance and took a slice of her cheeseless mixed veggie pizza.

Tucker sat down near Jack and subtly studied his face while opening up the box of meat lover's pizza, if he was only going to get one question about this clone of Vlad's abnormal medical condition, he wanted to make it count.

From what he could tell, the marks on his face were less like acne scars like he assumed they should be (given that the clone probably had ecto-acne at one point, just like his gene donor with a chronic condition) and closer to... either really severe chemical burns or someone pouring boiling acid on his face. Closer, yet not identical to.

He couldn't tell how damaged the upper half of his face was due him having band-aids covering up some of the damage, but even then it was clear that the disfigurements around the clone's mouth were the most intense.

Whatever was used to scar his face ate off his lips and chunks of his cheeks, giving his left-side profile a ghoulish, too-toothy grin regardless of if its owner felt like smiling or not while the right side had a half-inch wide strip of flesh ending the 'smile' while also creating another hole in his face, and if he looked closely enough, he also seemed to be missing a part of his tongue in a way that made it look like there was a bite taken out of it...

"...Can I help you?" Jack asked without bothering to hide the irritation in his tone.

"O-oh uh... I just wanted to ask..." Darn it Tucker, think! You can't waste this question! "I couldn't help but notice that the lower half of your face seems more visibly damaged than the upper half, and that part of the inside of your mouth was partly eaten too, I don't mean to sound insulting but was that just random chance or was your... ...illness on the top half of your head focusing primarily on eating chunks of your brain instead of your face? Again, I don't mean this in an insulting way..."

Sam burst out laughing while Jack's expression went from annoyed to mildly intrigued, he opened his mouth to answer, paused, thought it over, and his mild intrigue turned to dawning horror...

"I... I might have to get back with you on that because I don't know either." Jack cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his nervous voice crack. "Oh Calzones, if he's right and I really am physically losing my mind... Oh Bread Sticks..." He muttered under his breath while holding his head between his hands. "...It explains so much, too much..."

Danny lightly tapped the older teen's shoulder. "Have you ever tried to eat by sticking food through the hole in your cheek?"

Vlad let go of his head and stared at him blankly, seemingly gone through the five stages of grief in five seconds and left so perplexed by Danny's question that it seemed his mind was catching up with the second halfa's words.

But you know what? He hadn't tried before, before, his time was too swamped with hospital trips and robberies to afford the hospital trips to mess around with the odd yet neutral characteristics of his condition. He should fix that while he could, for science.

His index finger idly traced part of the hole to make sure it wasn't bleeding while his other hand picked up and rolled up a slice of pizza, and he stuck the entire slice through the hole, chewed it for a bit and swallowed it.

"I have now, and the experience isn't different enough from eating normally to warrant switching to the hole."

Danny blinked at him, processing what he had just witnessed. "...Okay, I know you said one question but now I have to know; do you have two sets of jaws?!"

"I'll... Also have to look into that." He nervously smiled while screaming internally.

[dykeza]

The lieutenants all have a championship like “who’s the best lieutenant” and at the door everyone has to be checked for things like airhorns, confetti poppers, etc. Shunsui’s like two steps through the door before he’s tackled by three soul reapers because he’s hidden extremely loud and obnoxious flare guns in his kimono to support Nanao. Shinji doesn’t even make it through the door they keep finding confetti poppers he brought LSD for the “champions after party (“hey Momo wanna get high after you win”) there’s so many noise making things on his body. Kenpachi picks him up from his feet and shakes him out and a comical amount of self lighting fireworks cascade off of his person.

[beautifultypewriter]

Well Played ~ Knights of Camelot

Requested: Yes / by @libbyangelofthelord

Warnings: Pranks (nothing mean or sadistic)

Word Count: 2,392 (I’m so sorry)

Pairing: None. Platonic relationships between the reader, Merlin, the knights, Gwen, Arthur, and Morgana

Summary: It’s a college AU! Reader is the victim of their friends’ latest prank. With the help of Morgana, Gwen, and a reluctant Arthur, Reader decides to get revenge.

A/N: I decided to make this a more modern AU and I thought putting everyone in college would be fun. Hope you’re okay with that!

If there was ever a time when you hated working off campus, it was now. Now, as you jogged to your car, unlocking the door with your key fob. Now, as you watched two purple balloons float gently to the pavement of the parking lot. With furrowed eyebrows, you looked up to see that your car had been filled entirely with gold and purple balloons. You stood completely still, staring at what you hoped was a figment of your imagination. There was no way you were going to be able to get to work on time; not with all of these balloons needing to be popped. Loud laughter drew your attention away from the disaster in front of you and you turned to see your friends not even twenty feet away. Gwaine was at the head of the pack, clearly the mastermind behind this prank. They moved closer to you and your confusion and worry turned to anger. They only grinned at you though, seemingly proud of what they would consider a genius idea. You probably would have laughed too, if this little prank didn’t mean that you were going to be late for work. “Need some help, Y/N?” Gwaine chuckled and you turned your angry eyes to him.

 “What is wrong with you?” You looked at each of the five men in front of you, “All of you.” Leon was the only one who looked a bit ashamed of his actions. The rest were too busy stifling their laughter.

 Percival was the next to speak, “Oh come on, can’t you take a joke?”

 You turned to your car and started sweeping the balloons onto the pavement, “Not when they make me late for work.” Morgana and Gwen had just gotten out of class and were on their way back to the dorm when they saw you struggling and came over to see what had happened. Gwen immediately went to the other side of the car and started sweeping balloons out.

 Morgana had other ideas, as she strolled over to the group of five, “No doubt you geniuses are to blame for this.”

 Gwaine laughed, “It’s just a prank, Morgana. No need to take up arms about it.”

 She waved him off, “Oh, just get out of here with your silly pranks.” The guys laughed again, but they followed her directions and ambled off to the quad. Morgana came over and started helping you cleanup the balloons, “Honestly, they think they’re so funny. I’m getting a little sick of their pranks.” You nodded, your attention solely on your car. Morgana gasped and you turned quickly to face her. She had what could only be described as an evil smirk on her face as she stared back at you, “How about some revenge?” Your own smirk spread across your lips as you processed her words.

 “Morgana, I think that would be lovely.”

 ~

 “Please, Arthur.”

 The blonde man sighed as he continued to highlight his notes, “Why should I help you create a mess in my dorm?”

 Morgana smiled at him, “Because you want to see Merlin be pranked as much as we do.”

 Gwen, who was sat next to her boyfriend, laughed, “She’s right, you know.” Arthur glared at her before turning back to his notes. You were sure that was going to be the end of it, but you were surprised when Arthur motioned to his backpack.

 “Key’s in the side pocket.” You and Morgana grinned at each other as you reached over and pulled the key from the bag. Morgana grabbed the bag of supplies that you had brought with you and started walking backwards, towards Arthur and Merlin’s dorm building.

 You followed her quickly, tossing one last thanks over your shoulder, “You are the best, Arthur.” You waved to your friend, “See you later, Gwen.” She waved back and then you and Morgana were off. You only had an hour before Merlin’s chem lab ended and you had a lot to do.

 You brushed your hands over your jeans after putting the finishing touch on your revenge for Merlin, “Okay, so Merlin should just be getting out of class now and it’s a five minute walk back to the dorm.” Morgana nodded and you sighed, “Let’s wait in the hall.” She nodded again and grabbed her bag before following you into the hall and carefully pulling the door closed behind her.

 “This is going to be so good.”

 You nodded and pulled her away from the door, “I can’t wait to see his face.” She laughed with you and the two of you moved down the hall, deciding to act like you were just coming down the hall at the same time as Merlin. Morgana was the lookout, as you continually checked your watch. Your head snapped up when Morgana started to hit your shoulder.

 “Here he comes.” You both stood up straight and composed yourselves as you moved down the hall together. The pair of you reached Merlin’s door at the same time he did and Morgana smiled at him, “Hey, Merlin.”

 He turned and smiled at both of you, “Hey, Morgana. Hey, Y/N.” You waved to him and he paused after unlocking his door to turn to you, “Look I wanted to apologize for the prank the other day. We didn’t know you had work. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble for being late.”

 You waved him off, “It’s no big deal. It was actually really funny, and I still have my job, so all is well.” You smiled, “No hard feelings.”

 Merlin smiled back, “Good. I’d hate to think you were mad at us.” He pushed open his door halfway, triggering the party poppers, which popped with a bang and rained confetti down on his head. He jumped back at the sound and you and Morgana laughed. He turned to you, “Okay, I get it. You wanted some revenge. Very well played.” He pushed the door open the rest of the way and jumped again when the airhorn you had taped to the wall behind the door sounded. Unfortunately, he had lost his footing and ended up on the floor. You and Morgana doubled over in laughter, trying to support each other as Merlin calmed himself and pushed himself back to his feet. “Very funny. Two for one?” You stopped laughing long enough to nod at him. Shaking his head, he turned to head into the room, “Well if you’re finished now, I’ve got some studying to do.” Merlin froze as he hit the tripwire and the bag holding the flour above him ripped and dumped its contents onto his head. You and Morgana fell into another fit of laughter as Merlin slowly turned and stared at you, flour covering his head and shoulders and sprinkled along his face. He nodded once, “Please tell me that’s it.”

 You nodded back, “Yep. See you later, Merlin.” He waved halfheartedly to you as Morgana pulled you down the hall.

 ~

 “I think going the simple route with Percival was a great idea.” Morgana nodded in agreement as you each lugged a large plastic bucket filled with ice water down the dorm hallway.

 “Oh definitely. He’s the one who will most be put off by the ice water.” As you reached the common bathroom, you put your bucket down to slowly ease the door open. You could hear Percival singing lowly and you were glad that he was the only one in the stalls at the time.

 You nodded to Morgana, “He’s alone.” She grinned and stepped into the steamy room, holding the door with her foot as you picked up your bucket again and stepped in behind her. You both moved quietly over to the shower stall that Percival was in, trying hard to contain your laughter. You and Morgana stood just outside the curtain where an oblivious Percival was still singing. You hoisted your bucket up and Morgana did the same. Then you whispered, “One, two, three.” And you both dumped the ice water over the curtain and onto Percival. You jumped back from the curtain and laughed as Percival yelped and cursed. He pushed the curtain aside and stuck his head out, looking around wildly. He spotted you, but before he could say anything, you grabbed Morgana’s hand and pulled her out into the hallway, laughing the entire time.

 ~

 “Alright, so Gwen said that Elyan and Leon passed out the moment they hit their beds, so we should be good to go.” You nodded at Morgana and she continued, “I was here earlier, so the door should just…” She pushed on the door and it opened easily. She grinned at you as she pulled the tape off of the locking mechanism on the door. You tiptoed in, carrying your bag of supplies, with Morgana following you. You giggled as you heard the boys snore.

 “Good thing Gwen convinced them to go to that party.” Morgana laughed as she nodded. Then you two got to work. You pulled the cups out of the bag and started placing them on every inch of the floor, so that there was no space between them. Morgana followed your movements, filling each cup halfway with water. You moved as quickly as you could, taking care not to make too much noise, though you were sure that nothing could wake Leon or Elyan at this point.

 As you stood in the doorway, you placed the last cup down and Morgana poured the last of the water into it. You two high-fived and shut the door before scurrying down the hall, heading back to your dorm.

 The next morning, you made sure to wake up early, so that you could see the result of last night’s prank. You jumped onto Morgana’s bed, shaking her awake. She jolted up and you laughed, “Ready to see our handiwork play out?”

 She grinned, “Of course.” She jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed as you laughed again. She turned to you, “Well are you going to get ready?” You nodded and changed out of your pajamas as Morgana stood by, tapping her foot. Just as you were about to head out, airhorn in hand, Gwen sat up, rubbing her eyes. She glanced over at you and chuckled.

 You smiled at her, “You coming, Gwen?”

 She shook her head and smiled, “No, you two have fun though.” You gave her a salute and rushed out the door, running to catch up with Morgana. It didn’t take long for you to reach Leon and Elyan’s dorm. You pushed open the door, just like Morgana had done last night, and sure enough the two were still passed out on their beds.

 You held up the airhorn, “Ready?” Morgana nodded and you pressed down on the trigger, causing three short bursts of sound to permeate the room. Leon and Elyan bolted upright, searching for the source of their rude awakening. Their eyes landed on you and Morgana and they glared. Leon moved to get out of bed, but you held a hand up to stop him, “Uh-uh, I’d be careful if I were you.” He looked down at the floor to see that he had no place to step unless he wanted water all over the floor and his bare feet. His head snapped up to you as Elyan looked around, seeing that he was also trapped on his bed. You waved, “See you guys later.” Morgana laughed as she pulled you away, the boys calling after you.

 ~

 “Alright, four down, only one to go.”

 Morgana grinned at you, “And let Gwaine’s be the sweetest revenge of them all.” You nodded once and then the two of you were off to Gwaine’s dorm. Since you had already pranked Percival, he agreed to let you into his and Gwaine’s dorm that night, so that you could complete your revenge. You knocked once on the door and he answered it, ushering you two in.

 “Alright, I’ve done my part. I’m going to bed now.”

 You nodded at him, “Thanks, Percival.”

 He waved you off, “Just don’t pour cold water in my shower again please.” You gave him a thumbs up and he nodded, heading over to his bed and collapsing onto the sheets. You turned to Morgana, nodded once, and then the two of you set out to grab every piece of clothing that Gwaine owned. Once you had everything, you left the dorm and headed outside.

 The next morning, Gwaine woke up, brushing his fingers through his unruly morning hair, and yawning. Percival was sitting up in his own bed and he mumbled a good morning to his roommate. Gwaine responded with another yawn and then he shuffled out of bed and over to his dresser. He pulled open the top drawer only to find that it was completely empty. He tried the second and the third drawer, both empty. He rushed over to his closet to see that it had been completely cleared out, even his shoes were gone. He turned to Percival, “Where are all of my clothes?”

 His roommate shrugged, “How on Earth should I know?” Gwaine spun in place, desperately trying to figure out what could have happened. He was broken from his thoughts at the sound of something hitting the window. He stepped over to the glass and opened it to find you poised to throw another pebble. He looked down as you waved up at him, Morgana next to you, doing the same. That’s when he saw it; his favorite shirt lying on the ground by your feet. And then he saw all his other clothes strewn about the lawn, thrown into trees, his shoes hanging from the branches. He frowned as his eyes travelled to the flagpole, where a pair of his pants had been hoisted up in place of the school’s flag. People were moving around the quad, staring at his clothes and laughing. Gwaine shook his head as he saw every one of his socks laid out on the edge of the fountain like some kind of decoration.

 Morgana laughed as she called up to him, “Oh come on, Gwaine. It’s just a prank.” He narrowed his eyes at her before his gaze moved to you. He smiled reluctantly and gave you a salute. Well Played.

[noimthegreenninja-blog]

OH MY GOSH!!!!!! we just hit 100 followers!!!!! this is the first time ive ever gotten 100 followers anywhere, so i’d like to thank everyone for all the support!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I was planning on doing something fun once I hit 100 followers, but since finals week is next week for me, it’s gonna have to be put off for a little bit. Expect something fun in the near future, and thank you all so so much!!! <3 <3 <3

[savage-rhi]

​❛ merry crisis ! ❜ higgs & die-hardman lol

Hope you like this one hon lmao :D!

It seemed today there was one crisis after the next when it came work-life at the UCA, so much to the point where Diehardman had received hundreds of emails detailing the circumstances. He let out a deep sigh as he sat in his chair, combing through a couple colorful subject lines and skimmed through the first five or so. 

Someone replaced all the toilet paper with duct tape in the upper division of the colony. IDK what the hell to do! --TK

It appears that all the photos, paintings, and classic art that had been saved before the Death Stranding have been vandalized with cut out pictures of Deadman’s face making weird gestures. An intern passed out discovering one such face pasted to the inside of the toilet seat lid when she went to the bathroom. She hasn’t woken up in twenty minutes. A concussion is immenent.--GC

All the computer lab equipment in the central area of the UCA has been wrapped up in aluminum foil. Please send extra staff to clean up. It’s gonna be a long day trying to make our tools look less like baked potatoes...-KW

Someone painted the conference room with black chalkboard paint and proceeded to write a mad lib all over it. It was actually quite poetic until staff at environmental development read, “I enjoy long, evil walks on the beach, getting assaulted in the rain and serendipitous encounters with walruses. I really like Pina Coladas mixed with pee, and romantic, candle-lit Frenchmen. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Vlad the Impaler. I travel frequently, especially to Hell, when I am not busy with work. (I am a bomber.) I am looking for spite and beauty in the form of a Hell Demon goddess. She should have the physique of Sam Bridges and the bombers of chick. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my kibbles and bits. We cannot flog the milk. I know I'm not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 9,001 days ago, and I have since become more insane.” This was only a fraction of what was on one side of the four walls. God help us.--NB

Some porters tried to take a vehicle, and when they backed out and hit the gas a giant condom inflated from the exhaust pipe and when it blew up the noise was so loud that everyone thought a bomb had gone off in the terminal and we had to go into lockdown. Most staff didn’t find it amusing but some of the guys are trying to repair the giant condom “for science”--DMQ

Whoever took everything in the main offices (computers, pencils, chairs etc.) and somehow stuck them upside down on the ceiling haha we are amused and wondering how the fuck you pulled it off.--FR

Someone highjacked our TVs in the mess hall. A woman saying Mario and Princess Beach followed by airhorns and porters doing the can-can with BT whales has been playing for five hours straight. I want to die :)--LN

Diehardman had to stop himself from reading anymore. It was too chaotic. Sighing he rubbed his forehead, contemplating on staff who could have wrecked this much havoc in such a short amount of time. He decided to take a moment to eat something. Opening up a boxed pizza lunch Diehardman nearly feel out of his seat as glitter and confetti launched itself out of the compartment, hitting him right in the face as he grimaced and yelled feeling the small bits of plastic collide against his eyes. 

Diehardman spent around ten minutes smacking himself blind, until finally blinking enough and wiping away at his face that he saw the note at the bottom of lunch box reading the following:

Merry Crisis! 

Your humble ex-terrorist pal, HM

PS. Eat shit 😎

[themortalpath]

dice-hoard replied to your post: Tomorrow is new episode day… are y’all excited?

I don’t know how to type the sound of it but uhhhhhh airhorn noises, confetti emoji and YEEEEEEEHAW

this has so much power

[sithsdoinshit]

Things the Sith do for the others when another Sith has a birthday

it’s a group effort!

vader: makes a very nice cake that is the birthday sith’s favorite. it’d be perfect if he didn’t put the exact amount of candles for their age and set off the fire alarm (nihilus’ birthday is a nightmare). if he likes the sith enough, he’ll make them some sort of neat gadget. 

sidious: breaks their door down at 12 am and shoots confetti out of a cannon. “good job crawling out of your mother like every other person”

maul: slides a card under their door that just says “birth” with some confetti taped onto it. unless you’re savage, in which case it says “happy birthday” and has a cookie attached.

savage: buys a hundred balloons–sometimes literally a hundred– for the birthday sith and a good hug if they’re not sidious or dooku. takes it up to 10000 if it’s maul’s birthday, buying him a box of cupcakes and hugging him for 8 minutes straight (”LET GO OF ME” “YOUR BIRTHDAY HUG IS NOT COMPLETE”). 

asajj: gives them a coupon for “one nice thing for me to do for you”. lewd or outrageous requests are rewarded with a violent kick to the face, but most of the time people have enough sense to just ask for a hug or a nice comment. (”don’t make fun of me today” “i’ll try my best, kylo ben. “IT’S REN”)

dooku: almost always buys some sort of book for these uncultured cretins to read as a gift. the sincerity of the book depends on his opinion of said sith (i.e. a lovely hardcover classic novel for the inquisitor and “anger management for dummies” for kylo)

kylo: totally gets everyone to hide in the dark to surprise the birthday sith when they get home. he always has airhorns to blow, even though the only people who won’t decapitate him for that are grandpa vader and sidious.

nihilus: “surprises” them in their room by suddenly materializing with a birthday hat on. nihilus does this multiple times throughout the day. he really likes the spinny noise makers.

grievous: coordinates with bopi to make a little battle droid choir sing “happy birthday” for the lucky sith. he gave bead necklaces to each person, adding a unique bead every year for their birthday. kaleesh are cool.

inquisitor: dooku is the main chef of the house, but the inquisitor loves to set the table and personally serve the birthday sith their meal (which, of course, is their favorite). very much a “this day is all about you” person.

lana: her presents are always unique and well thought-out. if she likes them, she’ll also order flowers for their birthday with a sincere note. if she doesn’t, a box of dirt will arrive instead. 

[wilhelm-the-madman]

*Airhorn noises* ITS ALMOST SHITSCREAM TIME CHARON! YOU READY TO PARTY?! *Dumps an entire bucket of confetti on him*

"Of course I am!!!! I've already decorated the boat!! And I replaced the alcohol in my flask with some really heavy eggnog!!!"

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

*airhorn noise* *confetti-....oh yeah tol is still in a coma

also me after every period i ever had