#confessions and heartbreak

[asoftepiloguemylove]

"YOU'RE NOT JUST A FRIEND TO ME. I REALLY LOVE YOU." // CHENG-HSING AND SHOU-HENG

Emily Palermo What I Could Never Confess Without Some Bravado // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Amy Hempel Sing to It: New Stories // @/tullipsink desperation sits heavy on my tongue // Richard Siken Litany in Which Certain Things are Crossed Out // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Virginia Woolf in a letter to Vanessa Bell // R.F. Kuang The Burning God // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // unknown // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Fernando Pessoa A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems // June Gehringer I get so jealous of euthanized dogs // unknown // 盛夏光年 Eternal Summer (2006) dir. Leste Chen // Lucy Dacus Hot & Heavy

[killerpancakeburger]

Angtsy Ghoap x Reader with a happy ending

Insecure!Reader who fell for Soap first, and fast. They don't think they have a chance with him, but pining is harmless, right?

Then they start crushing on Ghost. Have to go full denial about it because they feel bad liking two people at the same time.

Soap and Ghost are already together, but Ghost notices that Soap's has a soft spot for the Reader. So he starts paying attention to them more and ends up interested too.

Cue Ghost having a masterplan to add the Reader to their relationship (cause he's the one with the braincells lmao). He makes Soap leaves his sketchbook in the rec room, knowing Reader is the kind of person who will bring it back to him thinking he forgot it.

Except that when Reader enters Soap's bedroom, they stumble upon Soap draped over Ghost because he was being needy. Reader freezes before fleeing the room with an hasty apology, Johnny's sketchbook dropped on the floor. Obviously those two are a couple and you were so stupid to crush over Soap in the first place.

Ghost and Soap track you down to explain, but not before Ghost called Soap a bloody idiot. It is Ghost's fault too for keeping Soap out of the loop tbh.

[iremiari]

charles rowland is the type of person to end his marriage vows with "and you're my best mate" then think nothing of it

[dent-de-leon]

....hmmm....and what if. in animated nein. after Molly's whole "Long may I reign" scene, he stumbles out into the hall laughing and full of joy and runs right into Caleb Widowgast. Caleb, choked up, teary-eyed, and looking as though he's about to have another panic attack, still reeling from the pain of confessing everything.

What if Molly tries to talk to him, even if he wouldn't listen. Ask if he's alright. Try to reach out again. What if he gave him another forehead kiss, or asked if he'd want some company--

Out of everyone in the Nein, Mollymauk is the only one who never learns of Caleb's past--the tragedy that so painfully mirrors Lucien's--but. What if, this time, he gets more of a glimpse of that--

[hernepenthenotes]

We always think there's enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like 'if'.

From A man called Ove

[readtrovert]

"Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere, but it hurts the most in my heart."

[gilligans-islands]

God okay I just finished watching good omens 2 and I just

Something that really kills me is during the confession scene after Aziraphale says “Nothing last forever” Crowley puts back on his glasses

And it’s such a thing to do because they were just having this raw open and vulnerable conversation and you can see everything in Crowley eyes and then he decides deliberately to put up a shield

And it’s such a pivotal moment because throughout this whole season Crowley is always taking his glasses off around Aziraphale or even just when he’s in the bookshop

He’s letting his guard down in a sense and letting Aziraphale see past the shades into who he actually is and it’s so heartbreaking to see Aziraphales words sink in and the implicit meaning he finds in them

He immediately puts his shields back up and adopts a more monotone way of speaking all to hide how much this is hurting him

[small-z24]

One-Shot: Shattered Heart Part II 

Summary: 

Y/N and Azriel continue to struggle with their unspoken love and the heartbreak it brings. As Azriel distances himself further, Y/N makes a decision that could change everything. Will they ever find their way back to each other, or are they destined to remain broken and alone?

I wrote this for @vanserrasimp who requested a part 2.

Word Count: 1504

Warnings: Intense heartbreak, emotional distress

Y/N:

Days turned into weeks, and Y/N felt the weight of Azriel's absence more acutely with each passing moment. She had hoped that time would dull the pain, but instead, it sharpened it, making every interaction, every shared space in the House of Wind a reminder of what she had lost—or rather, what she had never truly had.

She threw herself into training, hoping the physical exertion would exhaust her enough to numb her emotions. But even in the heat of battle practice, her mind wandered to Azriel. She saw him everywhere—in the shadows that danced at the edge of her vision, in the quiet moments when she thought she was alone, in the lingering silence that filled the spaces where his laughter used to be.

One evening, after a particularly grueling training session, Y/N found herself alone in the training room. She collapsed onto the floor, her body aching and her mind a whirlwind of turmoil. She stared at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Why can't I let him go?" she whispered to herself, her voice trembling. "Why can't I move on?"

The room remained silent, offering no answers. She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely. She thought about Azriel—about the way he had stood outside her room that night, about the pain in his eyes, about the words that had remained unspoken between them.

She knew she couldn't continue like this. The pain was consuming her, eating away at her spirit. She needed to make a decision, to find a way to move forward. She couldn't keep living in this limbo, caught between hope and despair.

With a heavy heart, she made her way to her room. She sat at her desk, pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill. Her hand trembled as she began to write, pouring her heart and soul into the letter.

Azriel,

I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I need to say it, to put it into words so that I can finally let go. I have loved you for so long, longer than I can even remember. I thought that maybe, one day, you might see me the way I see you. But I was wrong.

Watching you with Elain, seeing the way you look at her—it's tearing me apart. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay, that I'm strong enough to handle it. The truth is, I'm not. I'm breaking, Azriel, and I don't know how to fix it.

I need to move on, to find a way to heal. And I can't do that if I'm here, surrounded by memories of you. So, I've decided to leave Velaris. I don't know where I'll go, but I need to find a place where I can rebuild my heart, piece by piece.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, Azriel. You deserve it, even if it's not with me. Please, don't come after me. This is something I need to do for myself.

Goodbye, Azriel. I will always love you, but I need to let you go.

Y/N

She sealed the letter with trembling hands, placing it on her bed. She packed a small bag with essentials, her heart heavy with each item she added. She took one last look around her room, her sanctuary, and then she left, the door closing behind her with a finality that echoed through her soul.

As she walked through the quiet streets of Velaris, she felt a sense of freedom mixed with a profound sadness. She was leaving behind everything she had ever known, but she knew it was the only way to heal.

Azriel:

Azriel stood in the training room, his fists clenched at his sides. He had pushed himself harder than ever before, trying to drown out the thoughts that haunted him. But no matter how hard he fought, he couldn't escape the pain in his heart.

He thought about Y/N constantly—about her laughter, her strength, the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. He missed her more than he could bear, but the fear of hurting her kept him from reaching out.

Cassian's words echoed in his mind, a constant reminder of what he had lost. "You don't have to be perfect to love someone, Az. And Y/N doesn’t need perfect. She needs you." But he couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't enough, that he would only bring her pain.

He walked to Y/N's room, his heart heavy with regret. He had stood outside her door so many times, wanting to knock, wanting to hold her and tell her everything. But he had always walked away, too afraid to face his feelings.

Tonight, he couldn't stay away. He needed to see her, to tell her how he felt, even if it was too late. He reached for the door, his hand trembling as he knocked softly.

There was no answer. He knocked again, louder this time, but the room remained silent. Panic began to set in as he pushed the door open, stepping inside.

The room was empty, the bed neatly made. His eyes landed on the letter, and his heart stopped. He picked it up with shaking hands, his eyes scanning the words.

Each sentence was a knife to his heart. He read her words, feeling the depth of her pain, the love she had carried for so long. And as he reached the end, a sob tore from his throat.

She was gone. He had pushed her away, and now she was gone.

He sank to his knees, clutching the letter to his chest. The shadows around him pulsed with his anguish, but they offered no comfort. He had lost her, and it was his own fault.

I need to find her. The thought was a lifeline, a desperate hope that he clung to. He couldn't let her go, not without a fight.

He stood, his resolve hardening. He would find her, no matter where she had gone. He would make things right, even if it took him the rest of his life.

With a final glance around the empty room, he turned and left, the letter still clutched in his hand. He didn't know where to start, but he knew he couldn't give up. Not now, not ever.

Y/N:

Y/N stood on the edge of the cliff, the wind whipping through her hair as she looked out over the sea. She had traveled for days, seeking solace in the quiet places far from Velaris. But no matter where she went, the pain followed her, a constant shadow.

She had thought that leaving would help her heal, but it had only made the ache more acute. She missed Azriel with every fiber of her being, missed the way his presence had brought her comfort, even in the darkest times.

She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely. She had tried to be strong, tried to move on, but the love she felt for him was a part of her, woven into her very soul.

As she stood there, she heard a voice behind her, soft and filled with pain. "Y/N."

She turned, her heart skipping a beat as she saw Azriel standing there, his eyes filled with a mix of desperation and hope.

"Azriel," she whispered, her voice breaking.

He took a step forward, his eyes never leaving hers. "I couldn't let you go. I can't lose you, Y/N. Not like this."

Tears streamed down her face as she shook her head. "You don't understand, Azriel. I've loved you for so long, and it's killing me. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay."

He reached for her, his hand trembling as he cupped her cheek. "I know, Y/N. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. But I can't lose you. I love you. I've always loved you."

Her heart ached at his words, the truth she had longed to hear. But the pain was still there, a deep wound that wouldn't heal. "Azriel, it's too late. I'm broken, and I don't know how to fix it."

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. "Then we'll fix it together. Please, Y/N. Don't leave me. I need you. We need each other."

She clung to him, her sobs shaking her body. She wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that they could find a way to heal. But the pain was still there, a constant reminder of the love that had nearly destroyed her.

As they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, they knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult. But for the first time, they had hope—hope that they could find a way to heal, to rebuild the shattered pieces of their hearts.

And as the sun set over the sea, casting a golden glow over the world, they took the first step on that journey, together.

[helluvahotmess]

'I want you to continue to be who you are.' what if i fucking died what then

[todorokis-girl]

That's really not what I meant - Kuroo Tetsurō (pt 1)

Hey 🌸

Summary: Our protagonist struggles with unrequited love for her childhood friend and team captain, Kuroo Tetsuro. With the support of her twin brother Kenma and their teammates, she faces the challenge of moving on and finding happiness beyond her crush. This story is filled with high school drama, emotional moments, and the strong bonds of friendship and team spirit. 💖🏐

(part 2)

masterlist

"You're drooling," my brother remarked, his eyes glued to the screen, the distinctive music of his game continuing uninterrupted.

“I am not,” I retorted, though my voice lacked conviction. 

“You are,” came a voice from the opposite side of me, the familiar tone of the libero, Yaku, unmistakable.

“Yaku!” I exclaimed, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. To add insult to injury, they were probably right. I had the most annoying crush on the team captain, Kuroo Tetsurou, a childhood friend who had grown from an awkward boy into an undeniably attractive and charismatic leader. Watching him command the court with such confidence and skill was mesmerizing.

I sighed deeply, resigning myself to the teasing. "Fine, maybe I was," I admitted, rolling my eyes as I stood up. I grabbed a water bottle and a towel to hand to the captain as he walked back from the court for the break. My heart thudded in my chest as I approached him, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance.

“Good job, captain,” I said, trying to keep my composure as I handed him the bottle and the towel.

Kuroo’s eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. “Thanks, miss manager,” he replied, taking the items from me. His fingers brushed mine ever so slightly, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I rummaged in my waist bag and pulled out a band-aid, noticing a small scrape on his finger.

“You scraped your finger earlier,” I pointed out, trying to sound as professional as possible. “If you don’t put a band-aid on it, it’ll be bad. We can’t have our middle blocker out of commission.”

Kuroo chuckled softly, a sound that made my heart flutter. “Thanks for looking out for me,” he said, his eyes twinkling with appreciation.

I watched as he carefully applied the band-aid, my mind wandering back to the countless memories we had shared. Growing up, Kuroo had always been there for me, whether it was to bandage a scraped knee or offer a comforting hug when things got tough. Now, seeing him in his element, leading the team with such passion, only made my feelings for him grow stronger.

As the break ended and the players returned to the court, I found myself lost in thought, my eyes trailing after Kuroo. The way he moved, the way he commanded the court, it was all so captivating. I shook my head, trying to focus on my duties as the team manager, but my mind kept drifting back to him.

Yaku’s voice broke through my reverie. “You know, you’re not very subtle,” he teased, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

I groaned inwardly, knowing he was right. “I know, I know,” I admitted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” Yaku suggested, his tone surprisingly gentle.

I looked at him, wide-eyed. “Are you crazy? What if it ruins everything? It’s a lifetime of friendship! Not to mention that if I ruin it with Tetsu, Ken will definitely kill me and then forget I exist.”

Yaku shrugged. “Or it could make everything better. You won’t know unless you try. I just can’t see Kuroo not being your friend at the end of it, no matter what his response is. At the very least, I know he loves you—friend or girlfriend, I don’t know.”

I mulled over his words, my gaze drifting back to Kuroo. Maybe Yaku was right. Maybe it was time to take a chance. But for now, I’d continue to support Kuroo from the sidelines, hoping that one day, I’d find the courage to tell him how I truly felt.

When the last whistle of the day rang, signaling the end of practice, I started packing up the team’s equipment, handing items to Fukunaga, who was assigned to place them in storage. The atmosphere in the gym was winding down, players joking and chatting as they headed to the locker rooms.

“Ken, you have 20 minutes to get ready. I want to get started on dinner early,” I called out to my brother. He waved me off without turning around, his focus already shifting back to his game. It seemed video games provided all the sustenance he needed these days.

As I gathered the remaining items, I couldn't help but steal glances at Kuroo. He was talking to Kai and Yamamoto, his face animated as he recounted some play from the practice. His presence was magnetic, drawing me in despite my best efforts to stay composed. I sighed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

Yaku's words echoed in my mind. Maybe it was time to take a chance, to risk everything for the possibility of something more. The thought terrified me, but the idea of never knowing was even worse. I finished packing up and handed the last of the equipment to Fukunaga, my mind still racing. I could feel Fukunaga’s eyes on me, and I ignored him. I REALLY needed to get better at hiding how I feel.

Walking over to the edge of the court, I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, watching as Kuroo and the others made their way to the locker rooms. Kuroo glanced back and caught my eye, offering a smile that made my heart skip a beat. I returned the smile, my resolve strengthening.

Later, as the team dispersed and the gym quieted down, I found myself lingering, my thoughts still in turmoil. The familiar routine of managing the team's needs provided some comfort, but it also underscored how intertwined my life had become with Kuroo. I couldn't imagine a day without seeing him, without feeling his presence nearby.

“I’m done, let’s go,” Kenma said, startling me out of my thoughts. He stood there with his gym and school bag over his shoulders.

I nodded and looked past him to see Kuroo still hanging out. “He’s staying past practice today. Says he has a date.”

“Oh,” I swallowed thickly and nodded, opening the gym doors to allow Kenma to head out first.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice unusually gentle.

“I’m perfectly fine, Ken,” I replied, forcing a smile. My heart felt heavy, and I could feel the sting of tears threatening to spill over, but I kept them at bay.

The walk home was quiet, the silence filled only by the sound of our footsteps. Kenma was lost in his thoughts, probably planning his next gaming strategy, while I struggled to keep my emotions in check. The idea of Kuroo on a date with someone else gnawed at me, a painful reminder of the feelings I had kept hidden for so long.

As we reached our house, Kenma headed straight to his room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I started preparing dinner, the repetitive motions of chopping vegetables and stirring pots providing a small measure of comfort. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the image of Kuroo with someone else, laughing and smiling the way he did with me.

By the time dinner was ready, I had managed to push my emotions to the back of my mind, focusing instead on the task at hand. Kenma joined me at the table, and he seemed to sense something was wrong with my mood “You’re not ok” 

“I’m fine, Ken.”

“Y/N, we’ve known each other our entire lives, we’re twins for a reason. Don’t gaslight me into thinking I don’t know you.” He stared at me, almost reading my soul, forcing me to speak.

“Were you teasing me, or was he actually going on a date?” Kenma rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, taking a second to play around with it. Then, he showed me the screen on his smartphone.

It was a picture of Kuroo at some flowery local café shop, wearing one of his button-ups. Next to him was a familiar face. She sits next to us in class. How did I not notice… “Is that…”

“Yes, it is.” I let out a sigh and turned back to my food, deciding to finish the conversation, the weight of Kenma’s eyes on me trying to convince me to waver. “She asked him out during lunch break last week. She was very smart in timing it just as you left to the bathroom.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“It wasn’t for me to tell.” I sniffled and cleared my throat, looking back up at him. I didn’t think my heart could’ve broken any louder.

“I think… maybe it’s time to move on. I can’t stay in this space forever. All I’m doing is breaking my own heart.”

Kenma reached across the table, placing a hand on mine. “You deserve to be happy, Y/N. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. It just means there’s something else out there for you.”

I nodded, appreciating his words even though they couldn’t fully mend the ache in my chest. “Thanks, Ken. I just need some time.”

“Take all the time you need,” he said softly. “Just remember, I’m here for you.”

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. I went through the motions of cleaning up and getting ready for bed, my mind a storm of emotions. As I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but think about what Kenma had said, almost competing with what Yaku had said earlier that day. Maybe it was time to let go of my feelings for Kuroo, to stop torturing myself with what-ifs and maybes, IF all I had to do what tell him how I felt, I was too late anyway. 

But moving on was easier said than done. Kuroo had been a part of my life for so long, and the thought of not feeling this way about him was almost unfathomable. Yet, I knew that holding onto these unspoken feelings was only hurting me more.

As I drifted off to sleep, I made a promise to myself. Tomorrow, I would start the process of moving on. I would focus on myself, my friends, and the things that made me happy outside of Kuroo. It was time to heal and to find a new path forward, even if it meant letting go of the dream I’d held onto for so long.

(part 2)

[hotcheetogirlluver]

can you please do one where reader can be stoic and emotionless like she's a tsundere (she's hard and rough on the outside but once you get to know her her sweeter bubbly side shows later on) and Levi has the fastest crush on her. her trauma she went through when she was younger makes her oblivious to when people genuinely have a crush on her because she oversees that. she shows her soft side as she befriends him and him being nervous around her hurts her feelings really badly. she just breaks and returns to being expressionless, rough, and quiet. Levi starts to feel guilty when she doesn't smile at him anymore or when she ignores him and doesn't speak to him. her friends are pretty worried blah, blah, blah. finally he apologizes after weeks of not speaking but she's fighting it because of her insecurities and trauma. LOTS OF ANGST I BEG YOU 😭😭😭!! and ofc fluff at the end 🤧🥺💗 (sorry it's super long have a beautiful day and I hope you can make this!)

A/N: ofc!!! i love this idea POOKS! Im a sucker for angst too honestly 😭😭. but I will gladly do this story and just a warning it is very long. ENJOY, THOUGH!!💓

Summary: Levi has a huge crush on (Y/n). She's completely oblivious, and sees his 'flirting' as cruelly bullying her. One day she's in his office casually talking to him and since he gets awkward with her because of the fat crush he has, he hurts her feelings in a way no one has ever hurt her.

WARNINGS ⚠️ : swear words, talks of disorders, talks of molestation and uses word rape

s/t: skin tone

h/c: hair color

y/n: your name

e/c: eye color

-!!ANGST!! FLUFF!!-

__________________________________________________________

Levi looked over at (Y/n). She was speaking with some cadets, giving them tips on fighting and dueling and such. Dressed in her usual black cloak with a hood over her head.

His usual stoic face looking over his shoulder to stare at her. If only she didn't wear that stupid cloak every single day and maybe it would be easier to catch a glance at her face.

The cadets looked like they respected her.. Listening in closely and trying to focus on every single word she was saying to them.

“Captain Levi?” A male voice made him turn around and stare the person down who just caught his attention.

“What is it?” His voice dripping in slight annoyance made Eren sweat nervously.

“You looked sort of a trance there! Just making sure you're still alive, sir!” Levi's glare only hardened and Eren slowly stepped away from him.

“Go spar with Armin. You both need the practice. You must be bored if you came over here just to bother me.” Eren nodded rapidly.

“Right away, Captain!” He took off and Levi looked back at (Y/n).

“You're doing it completely wrong, cadet. Straighten your stance as if you're prepared to fight someone right now.” She was way more sweeter than he was. Recently she's started to show her soft side and it always sent a warm shot through his heart.

Of course he would never show it, his usual unimpressed mask on at all times. He watched as Sasha corrected her fighting stance.

“Like this (Y/n)?” (Y/n) nodded with a cute smile and sent her a thumbs up.

“Way better!” She praised with a small clapping of her hands.

“Can we eat now?! I’m dying to eat I haven't eaten in like 30 minutes! When's the next break?? I'm literally starving to death-” A strong kick was directed to Sasha’s stomach, sending her to the ground roughly.

“OW-” Sasha rubbed her stomach in pain. “You have no concept of the idea of starvation, cadet.” (Y/n) set her hands on her hips.

“Let alone starving to death.”

Levi couldn't help but just watch the scene unfolding in front of him.

… Well that took a different turn. His stoic face, trying to contain the curiosity flowing through his veins at the moment.

… Why the sudden change of attitude? She was sweet and turned bitter in a second's notice. His head tilted upward a bit. His bangs almost hitting his eyes, barely brushing against his eyelashes.

“10 laps, Sasha.”

“B-But Captain!-”

“20 laps.” Sasha groaned internally and got up as (Y/n) eyed her.

“You'd think a lady that small would be more laid back.” Eren muttered watching from afar as well behind Levi.

“Well weight doesn't necessarily matter in the Survey Corps, Eren. It's mainly all about the soldier's intelligence and strength. Just look at you and me. Plus, usually the smaller ones are more aggressive.”

Levi's eyes immediately looked to the side, and his body turned to look at Eren and Armin.

“You two! Go join cadet Sasha on her 20 lap jog.” The two boys looked at each other with shocked facial expressions and Eren sighed heavily.

“If I were you Eren, I'd save my breath for the laps. And word of advice, try not to whisper so loud next time you're talking about someone important.”

“WHAT?! Someone important? Captain Levi, it's all so clear now! You have a big crush on Captain-”

“30 laps.” Levi turned away from Eren and Armin, as the pink flush was beginning to settle on his pale cheeks.

His hard gaze was set on her once again as he turned. Eren shook his head annoyed but still was too intimidated by Levi to not jog the 30 laps.

“The smaller ones really are the most aggressive-”

“Eren stop talking!” Armin cut him off as they began jogging to the field.

(Y/n) wiped some sweat from her forehead.

‘Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to lose the black cloak.’ She began to slip it over her head and threw it on the grass. Levi kept his face as emotionless as he could with the sight in front of him.

She shook her head around a bit trying to let her scalp breath. Her hair was really thin/thick, short/long, wavy/curly/straight. Her skin a s/t, really glowing in the sunlight. Her hair a beautiful h/c. And then there was her eyes..

Shit.

Her eyes were fucking gorgeous.

The color red set on the tips of Levi's ears, watching her being so effortlessly beautiful. He tried pushing the new fluttering feeling he felt to the very bottom pit of his stomach.

Her eyes were big e/c eyes, with dark eyelashes. Long eyelashes.

Fuck.. he's simping.

That's disgusting and shameful. He tried to snap out of it. But..

Suddenly she turned her gaze to him. A small smile on her lips.(Y/n) walked over to him, her heeled boots, she always wore giving her the smallest bit of height.

“Levi!” Her hands were behind her back as she gave him a wider, sweeter smile. Oh no.. was she walking towards him? At least give him some time to think about what he should say?!

“I haven't seen you in a while it's felt like! I've been busy with those stupid non-stop expeditions though. I feel like I would see you more often if you come out of your office more. Not like once every blue moon,” Her head tilted to the side wearing a bright smile on her face. Which was rare.

“Y’know?” She's right. Levi’s been in his office doing paperwork and signing and reading information from all sorts of documents. It's energy draining going through paper after paper and still never meeting an end.

Sometimes very rarely when he would actually leave his office and would see her walking in the castle halls it made his day a tad more bearable to deal with.

But to him it was somewhat a good thing being locked in his office day and night. Recently he's noticed he's starting to hold feelings towards the h/c. Deep feelings. To the point where he gets awkward and nervous fast if she's even around him.

He's been practicing on handling that calmly and coolly though.

“Y-Yeah. Haven't seen you in a while either.”

…… Wow. Just wow Ackerman.

… He wished he could stab himself with the swords he uses to kill Titans with. Seriously Ackerman?! That was painful. Embarrassing. You should walk away now. And leaving this world and existence would probably be for the better too.

(Y/n) scanned Levi's face intensely as his eyes avoided hers.

“Levi, are you okay?” She put a hand on her chin and the other hand set on her hip as she leaned to the side to meet his eyes.

“Fine.” He responded dryly.

Hm.. What's going on with him? He looks.. nervous? Levi? Nervous? Maybe she was getting this wrong. She was terrible at reading people. She always was.

“You took off your cloak.” Levi suddenly said with an awkward cough, and looked at her hair. (Y/n) pushed some hair behind her ear and nodded with a smile. Those rare smiles made Levi’s heart beat against his ribs.

“About time right? It's been so cruelly hot outside these past couple days.” She waved a hand in front of her face jokingly.

“Y-Your hair..”

“My hair?”

“It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.” Levi said non chanantly.

“Oh.”

“Do you even brush your hair though? It looks messy as hell. Don't have enough time on your hands to brush your hair or something?"

… Ouch. A knife sliced her heart and she just blinked before laughing small, quiet and uncomfortably. Well that definitely stung.

“Well, actually I brush my hair each morning and night before I fall asleep. It's a daily routine I don't intend to skip out on at all.” (Y/n) ran a hand through her hair consciously with an awkward smile on her face replacing the bright one from earlier.

“Is that so?” He replied unamused.

“Mhm!” She nodded her head before turning her head to the side with a light pink tint color covering her cheeks in embarrassment.

“Anyways Captain! I'm going to head back to my office. It.. It was nice seeing you! Mind telling Sasha she’s allowed to take a break when she’s finished with her 20 laps?” (Y/n) turned around not letting Levi respond and walked over to her cloak on the ground throwing it over her head before leaving the training grounds.

His once fast heartbeat slowed down to the normal speed. ‘What the fuck, idiot.’ He told himself. Why did he say that? Why did he say that??

“ ‘It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.’ ” He mocked himself in a harsh whisper.

“You idiot, why in the world would you say that to her? You made her uncomfortable you fucking dumbass. That's why she was in such a hurry to leave you.” Levi tried to forget about the encounter with (Y/n) he just had, feeling tormented with guilt enough as it is.

‘Just stop being so nervous around her Levi.’ He ran a hand through his under shave.

_________________________________________________________

Meanwhile (Y/n) pulled the cloak's hood closer to her head as she tried to calm her racing heart and her heavy breathing.

Levi thinks her hair is messy.

And he thinks she doesn't brush it? Does he see it as disgusting? Looked like it.

(Y/n) stared at the stone floors as her heeled boots clicked against them. Which means everyone who was at the training grounds earlier saw her hair as disgusting too then.

She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. Get it together (Y/n). It's fine.

… But what if it isn't? This reminded her of back then..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two grown men held onto (Y/n) wrists on either side of her pretty tightly. It felt like they were cutting her circulation off. She was 6 years old at the time.

Her mother sold her to some sketchy group from the Underground to get some money and to keep her house. (Y/n) had several bruises on her arms and face.

Those cruel bastards. She looked up at the tall man in front of her, with wide eyes.

“This rats nest of hair you got here is fucking gross. It looks like shit. You need to become extra beautiful, gorgeous.” He smirked with a sinister look in his eyes.

He held out a knife and suddenly just cut off half her hair. Her eyes widened more.

W-What? Why did he do that? Why did her mom even sell her to these men? They've hurt her, said horrible things to her, and now this? What's going on?? What are they going to do to her? She trembled in fear, heart about to leap out of her chest as she watched her long locks of hair fall to the dirty ground.

“Perfect, gorgeous.” The man brushed his hand through her hair with that creepy smirk still on his face. Then he nodded at both of the men who were holding her wrists tightly.

“W-Wait! Sir! What are you going to do to me?” He only darkly chuckled and waved a hand to a room.

“You’ll see in a second.” He kicked his lips and tilted the hat he was wearing down some more. The two men at her sides started dragging her to the room.

“W-Wait! Stop! P-Please, let me go! Stop i-it!” (Y/n) kicked her feet and struggled against the tight grip they had on her.

“Sir!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) stared down at her hands. She tried to shake away the memories she just thought of. Truth is.. She wasn't ever raped in the Underground. But… She was molested. And it definitely wasn't just once.

Those disgusting men down there.. Made some part of her life hell. A huge part of her life hell.

Those memories never leave you.

They stick with you.

And (Y/n) still got shivers thinking about it.

‘It's different.’ She told herself. It was the main reason she was insecure, about everything. All of those people from that sketchy group all those years ago.. They caused her pain and misery.

Trauma.

Why does she always wear a cloak? To cover her body from society's eyes. Feeling like she’s fat half the time and feeling like people don't like the sight of fat women. Resulting in not eating for weeks sometimes. Why does she wear a hood? To cover her face and hair. Her hair being “messy” and her face not complimenting her body.

Her hair always made her question her looks. But then again she always questioned her looks. Because of them. Like.. Why does everybody stare at her that way? Why are they looking at her? What's wrong with her?

She clenched her shirt near her heart.

Of course Levi doesn't like her. How could he? He's Humanities Strongest. (Y/n) thought she and Levi were getting close. And then all of a sudden he can't even look her in the eye and he seems more.. nervous around her. But like she said earlier, that word doesn't quite fit him.

They were both distant.

She wasn't going to lie though, at first it was hard to become friends with him. Or anybody really. She’s really antisocial and she too has a stoic, expressionless, mask on at all times. That's how she is with people she doesn't know. And when she didn't have friends.

She didn't mind though. That's how it had been her whole life. She's probably only had 1 friend from her younger years. She can't remember clearly though. When she first joined the Survey Corps no one would talk to her. She understood somewhat though. She did look a little sketchy wearing her black cloak everyday with a literal impassive look on her face all the time.

Made matters worse when she refused to remove her hood.

But when Hange Zoë sat with her one day in the mess hall, (while she stared at her food plainly not planning on eating it) and invited her to sit at their table she stared blankly at her for the longest minute (making Hange sweat drop) but accepted.

But she thought her and Levi were getting close. The awkward short talks turned to long conversations about small things. Both of their emotionless faces, cracked a smile or two when around each other.

She even discovered that way, her crush on him.

(Y/n) enjoyed his presence. She thought he was a good leader, really independent and honestly.. funny.

Maybe it's one sided love though.

Maybe she's just blinded by her stupid crush on him.

Recently he's been really.. mean towards her. He's been insulting her every time she sees him. And it's sort of been a good thing she hasn't seen him in weeks because he's been trapped in his office doing mile high paperwork.

It hurts her heart every time he says something harsh to her. She never says anything back though. But next time maybe she will. He's been hurting her self esteem and bringing back unfondly memories she would rather not think about. She has to stand up to him for once.

Usually she is really blunt. And really, really honest. But with Levi and her friends her soft side is brought out. (Y/n) nodded mentally, realizing her heartbeat slowed down and her heavy breathing calmed down.

She took one last deep breath, before walking to her office for the afternoon. She, too, needs to finish paperwork.

________________________________________________________

Levi sat at his desk. His eyes scanned the writing on the documents he was reading. He was a fast reader.

But he hated every time he would read through essays of information for the Survey Corps, because most of the time it reminded him of the Underground.

Where he didn't even know how to read until later on in his life.

He rubbed a hand on his forehead. Why was he thinking about that now?

He has work to do. It's better if he just finished it all sooner than later.

In Levi’s office it was silent.

His office was a very serene room. He preferred it that way though. It helped him focus more, and if it was placed next to a loud room he would probably kill the neighbor right next to him. He sighed, feeling the smallest amount of loneliness for the past few weeks. Sometimes it was somewhat depressing being so isolated. And feeling so isolated too.

He shook his head.Focus Levi. You're getting off topic.

When he was about to start reading again he heard 2 knocks on his door. He straightened himself out, organized the papers as quickly as he could, and calmed his facial features down.

“State your name and business.” He called.

“It's (Y/n). Mind if I come in, Levi?” Levi’s eyes widened ever so slightly as his pulse skyrocketed.

‘Calm down Levi. Act natural.’

“C-Come in.” He cursed himself as soon as the stutter left his lips.

‘Stop acting so nervous! Your Humanity's Strongest, this is embarrassing.’ (Y/n) brushed off Levi’s stutter, and opened his office door as she walked in with a plate of food.

“What do you need, Captain (Y/n)?”

The awkwardness soon left her features when she heard that. A laugh escaped her lips, as she continued to walk towards him.

“Why are you acting so formal all of a sudden Levi? You know we’ve talked before like friends, not colleagues, right?” She let out a small giggle and a charming smile as she set the plate down on his desk.

“Oh, r-right. Of course.” His cheeks quickly were dusted with a warm pale pink as he coughed an awkward cough to cover up his second noticeable stutter.

“What is this?” He asked unexpressively. He looked down at the plate of food.

“What? Never seen a plate of food before or something? Or has it really been that long since you’ve eaten, Levi?” She sat down in the chair in front of him with a soft sigh.

“I mean come on isn't it obvious?” ‘Isn't it obvious I'm a bit worried for you, you cruel jerk?’ She played with the ends of her cloak in her hands.

Levi knew what a plate of food was. He just hadn't eaten the whole day. He trained the cadets in the morning, and in the afternoon he was locked in his office again. And now it's dinner.. and he's still in his office.

“I haven't seen you eat the whole day. I'm..” Blood traveled to her face as her cheeks began to flush.

“You need to eat Levi. Taking a small break from all this pile of work isn't going to hurt you.” (Y/n) smiled gently and Levi could feel his stomach doing backflips. Or.. it could just be the hunger taking its toll on him.

He felt incredibly grateful he even had someone like (Y/n) in his life. Why did she care for him? Why was she so bubbly towards him? Why did she let her mask fall, after only a couple of conversations in his office?

He never knew how to talk to women correctly though. He didn't know the ‘correct’ way. Did he ever thank them appropriately? He thought he did.

Thing is, he never knows when he truly fucks up.

“Funny thing you're telling me to eat Captain (Y/n), when you don't even eat for weeks yourself.”

“... What?” Her heart dropped.

Another stab to her wounded heart. Her walls were down and everything and he just attacked so easily? She was feeling vulnerable with him and thought this one time there would be no hurtful words directed at her.

… Guess she was wrong.

“I think it's amusing that you're telling me to eat when you don't know how to do that yourself.” Levi rested his elbows on his desk, connecting his hands.

Suddenly a burning flame crawled up her neck as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Snap out of it, idiot.

“Really, Levi?” She narrowed her eyes, as the humiliation settled in and made her want to sink. Even if it was just the two of them in the office she couldn't help but feel humiliated.

“You don't eat for weeks sometimes. That must be another reason you wear that cloak.” He muttered and eyed her fit. Her eyes widened, and she felt her heart quicken its beat.

What the actual hell?

“You asshole,” (Y/n) whispered harshly.

Levi’s first instinct was to retort back but seeing her fists clenched made him slightly confused. Is she upset?

“Why would you care, if you hate me so much?”

Hate her? Shit. Levi mentally panicked. ‘No, no, no I don't hate you, I could never hate you (Y/n)! Did I mess up? I haven't said anything too bad right?’ Levi ignored the thoughts pouring into his subconscious.

“It's my place to know if you're getting weak and sloppy on expeditions with my squad. You’ve been disorganized on recent expeditions with other squads too. You're supposed to be strong as a Captain. You can't just get weak all of a sudden because of a pointless insecurity to have.” (Y/n) stood up from her seat abruptly.

“Are you fucking serious Levi?! I didn't work my ass off my whole life to just get picked on by the likes of you! You think you have the right to tell me I've gotten weak and to tell me my insecurity is useless?! Why won't you just leave me the fuck alone!” Tears threatened to pour out of her eyes. Her yelling clearly didn't get to him though.

Which pissed her off even more.

She put her shaking hand on her chest and clenched the fabric near her heart.

“Do you think you're so high and almighty just because you're ‘Humanity's Strongest’? Why do you think you can talk about why I wear this cloak so freely? Is your new goal to just break me down as a person and to make me feel even more horrible than I already feel?!” Levi’s eyes widened the slightest. The feeling of guilt catching up with him once again.

He didn't mean those things. He could never mean those things. He just didn't know how to respond when he's near her.

“It's only recently you’ve decided on putting me down! Why?.. Did all those late night talks we both had together mean nothing to you?!”

.. She was met with silence.

(Y/n) shook her head aggressively.

“SAY SOMETHING ACKERMAN!” She slammed a fist down on his desk. His slightly widened eyes, returned to his eyes that looked like they could care less. The unfazed look returned to his features.

“Is that all you know how to do? Yell? Are you slow or something? You should just retire as a Captain, you're childish. You're being overly dramatic about this situation. I couldn't care less about why you wear that cloak. I already understand why. It must be tough hiding all that hair you feel so ashamed of.” Levi kept his voice at the same volume the whole time he spoke.

He felt regret at his choice of words.

‘Stop fucking talking Levi. You're going to lose her. Just stop talking you dumbass!’

Suddenly (Y/n) threw off her cloak. Revealing her body and hair once again. It felt like Levi ignored the image of her body earlier. She looks really thin. Unhealthy thin. His eyebrows furrowed.

“I wear that cloak because of people like you!” Levi looked taken aback.

People like him?

“Judgemental dumbasses like you who can't be nice once for the likes of them!” Wait.. is she.. Did.. Did he make her cry? Is she crying? Tears finally sprung free from her eyes and rolled down (Y/n)’s cheeks as her bottom lip started to quiver. She never cried. Ever. And he's never seen her cry.

“I.. I try so hard for you, Levi! A-And all you see in me is my worst, obviously. I-I love you so much it actually hurts!” A sob escaped her lips and Levi felt blood rush to his face.

She loves him?!

Oh no what the fuck does he do?! Confess?! After everything he just said?? Guilt ran through his bloodstream and he felt his chest tighten.

“.... Why do you hate me? Am I that bad of a person? O-Or just.. ugly?”

‘No! Of course you're not ugly. Your fucking beautiful. The most gorgeous of them all! Levi fucking speak! Say something nice for once you asshole! Confess to her!’ Levi felt himself pause. His heart beating against his ribs. It hurt. The confession was about to slip out of his mouth. Almost..

“Tch. You're clumsy. Careless. And you lack skill.” Her breath got caught in her throat and she felt herself freeze.

Is it possible to feel your heart physically break? Because it felt like for her he smashed it with a hammer, stepped on it with his clean boots, and lit it on fire with a torch.

“And it's not my fault you're anorexic. Anything else Captain (Y/n)?”

She stared ahead.

With widened eyes. Pupils shaking. Her lips slightly parted. Tears still slipping from her eyes. Her stunning eyes. She stood there like that for a moment. A very long moment.

“Nothing..” Her whisper was in a hush. She didn't blink at all as she directed her attention to the floor, turning around.

“Keep the cloak..” She said quietly as she continued walking. Levi’s eyes following her figure. Fuck.

He messed up big time.

The door to his office closing in a slam awoke his senses and brought him back to reality. He ran a hand through his hair. No, no, no.

Why did he say that to her? Why is he such a dick? How could he even look at her again? How could he say that? He shook his head and shut his eyes tightly. Feeling exhaustion weigh down on his shoulders.

He clenched his fists and threw off all the papers from his desk onto the floor. His teeth gritted. He's such a fucking idiot!

Why the fuck did he say that?!? His chest heaved up and down and suddenly his gaze turned to the plate of food she brought him. His heart sank.

“I'm so sorry..” Levi muttered, staring at the food.

Then he looked at the cloak on his polished floors. He walked to it, with heavy eyes. Picking it up, and rubbing the fabric with his thumbs. His knees rested on the floor, as he continued to stare at it.

“I’m sorry..” He closed his eyes tightly, feeling moisture build up in his eyes. He pulled it to his chest, and leaned his upper body down.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..” He muttered over and over again.

The torturous guilt and regret eating him alive.

________________________________________________________

It’s been weeks since Levi and (Y/n) had spoken.

Weeks.

Eyebags lived beneath his eyes, and he felt more tired than he's ever been in his entire life. Erwin was starting to grow concerned for Levi. He knew what happened between him and (Y/n) because Levi told him and Hange.

They tried to break it down as blunt as they could with Levi. Yeah.. The whole thing was practically his fault. Hange freaked out when he told the both of them.

“HUH??! YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HER THAT, LEVI?? (Y/N), MY POOR BABY!” Hange gripped Levi’s shoulders and swung him back and forth while he just let her do that. Erwin tried calming down Hange, it looked like they were about to cry. And kill Levi at the same time. Once Hange had calmed down they sat down on their seat again.

“But seriously Levi? You actually told her that? That's absolutely heartless. You make me want to cry with what you said to her!” Erwin nodded his head at Hange’s words.

“Levi, sounds like all of the things you said to her were unnecessary. She just seemed like she was worried about you.” Levi sighed restlessly. He nodded his head and stared at the ground, remembering her heartbroken face.

“You pushed her away from you, Captain Shortie!”

“I know.. I just don't know how to talk to her.. it should be easy. She told me she loves me.. and I.. I love her. So why was it so hard and why did I have to mess it all up? I don't deserve her… I never did.” Levi felt so ashamed even bringing that encounter back up.

Hange and Erwin looked at each other. They’ve never seen Levi so.. distraught before. He always has this emotionless face on. Seeing him act human for once made Hange and Erwin feel bad about the situation. But there was nothing the both of them could do about it.

Levi sat in his office shaking away the memory of telling Hange and Erwin about that day.

He just wished (Y/n) would smile at him again. For weeks he's been trying to talk to her. Telling the cadets to tell her to report to his office.

She never showed up though.

Figures.

He broke her.

For weeks he's been trying to think of ideas on how he could see her again without her ignoring his whole person. He doesn't blame her.

But it was frustrating.

He knows he doesn't have the right to be frustrated after everything he said to her, but he just feels frustrated.

Maybe not at her. At himself.

For even saying those words to her. For making her cry.

Levi pulled at his hair.

'Just apologize you big pussy.'

Levi shook his head and drank some of his black tea. As soon as it made its way down his throat he gulped it all. Finishing all his tea in mere seconds.He stood up as soon as he finished it.

That's it.

Today was the day where he apologized to her after weeks of not talking. He needs to tell her he fucked up big time and he's aware. He needs to find her first. To tell her all things that have been making his heart feel heavy.

(Y/n) was cleaning the horse stables. She didn't want to tell her squad to do it. She just didn't want to talk to anyone. Any human that crossed her path she just straight out ignored them and didn't look at them at all. She held a blank facial expression.

The hurt Levi caused her heart to feel was unbearable. All the pain he caused her to feel, mentally, was it even humanly? Could humans even feel this amount of pain?

She felt like dying honestly.

Or just running away from the Survey Corps. But she knew the penalty was execution.

Life wasn't that easy.

If life was easy maybe Levi wouldn't have been such an ass to her and made her feel like she truly amounts to nothing.

Did he see her as some pathetic, weak human being? Because she doesn't eat? She tries too. She really does. But every time she does, it makes her feel nauseous. It looks sickening.

When she was sold to the men from the Underground, they starved her. To keep her ‘beautiful’ body. That's why she's sensitive to the subject of starvation. As you could tell from when she kicked Sasha for saying she was “literally starving”.

Why was she even thinking about Levi still? He doesn't love her. He doesn't care about her.

He's.. just a jerk.

She felt a tear slip down her eye. She recalled the memory of her morning after that day.

At breakfast Hange, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were all talking amongst each other. Then they looked up at her, seeing her without her cloak. She sort of regretted leaving it in Levi’s office. But it was too late to receive it anyways. Then they smiled and waved at her, acting friendly. Her blank face didn't waver as she looked away from them and walked past the table. Not planning on eating.

All of their smiles disappeared as they watched her walk off.

“What's wrong with her?” Eren asked the table.

“I have no idea.” Mikasa’s usually bored eyes were filled with some concern.

“Is she okay? She didn't look too good right now.” Armin looked at Hange since Hange was the closest to (Y/n).

“I'm not sure. I haven't seen her since yesterday when she left mid dinner. Maybe she ate in her office? She had a plate of food with her.” Eren shrugged and they all thought to themselves.

She flat out ignored her friends and Levi for the past few weeks. She just didn't want to be around people at the moment. And once Hange found out, they completely understood.

(Y/n) shoveled the horse shit, almost making her want to puke. But she tried to remain expressionless. She had no clue Levi was looking for her in that moment of time.

He already checked her office. Knocked on her room door which was open, and her bed was untouched. If looked like she hadn't slept on there for a long time, causing his guilt to rise. He asked all of her friends if they've seen her. To which they responded with, "We haven't talked to her in a while actually." Which made him feel worse. But he shook it off, focusing on finding her. He even asked Erwin if she's been assigned to an expedition with her squad. He said, "No." which made Levi relieved as he continued to check the whole castle. He even went to the training grounds. She wasn't there.

Where the fuck is she? Hasn't he checked everywhere?

.. No. Not everywhere. He walked down to the horse stables, and checked stall after stall. And finally he saw her shoveling horse shit with her beautiful stunning self.

He didn't even realize her name slipped past his lips until she turned to him.She looked beautiful. But still thin. Really thin. Although she held a blank face as she stared at him.

The twinkle that was in her eyes, disappeared.

He was looking past the sort of horrific look she was giving him though. Calling it her “blank” face. She felt paralyzed as she just stood there.

“Captain.” She finally muttered out.She never called him Captain. It was always Levi. Always Levi.

“... (Y/n).” He repeated at a loss for words.

‘No, don't chicken out now you bitch. Just tell her what's been on your mind.’ Levi sucked in a breath before walking towards her. She just stared at him, and finally broke out of the paralyzed state she was just in. She took a couple of steps back, her back hitting the wall as she dropped the shovel full of horse poop.Her eyebrows furrowed as he walked towards her.

“Stay away from me.” She told him in a cold tone.He halted and stood where he was. Losing confidence for a second, and feeling guilty as hell. But the longer he stared at her the longer he felt bad and had to say something.

“I’m..” What the hell. Speak Levi! Speak!

“I’m..”

“You're wasting your time if you're trying to apologize.” (Y/n) picked up the shovel she dropped on the ground.

“Why are you doing stable duty?” He forced out.

Ugh. Pussy.

“Because I'm too sloppy, and weak with everything else. I lack skill.” She responded with a small scoff. Levi glanced to his side, hurt flashed in his eyes but he tried to make it disappear just as quickly as it came.

“I'm sorry..” He said clearly, with no hesitation or stutter in his voice this time.

She raised her chin up at this. “Sure.”

“I am, okay? I’m sorry for everything I said to you. It was unnecessary and I just..” Levi’s heartbeat started to race again.

“I'm a dick. And I hurt you. Badly. I said some things I can't take back but they were all a lie. I don't think your insecurities are pointless and I don't think you're a weak soldier. You're one of the strongest Captains here at Survey Corps.” She looked unimpressed with his words.

“I’m not falling for this, Ackerman. Okay? Now will you just leave and let me finish this?” Her glare directed at him made him hate himself.

“(Y/n)-”

“Will you go away? I’ve made it clear I obviously don't want to have this discussion with you.” She snapped.

“God damn it (Y/n)! Will you just let me apologize to you?!” He was about to walk towards her again but she didn't allow it.

“Why?! Why do you want to apologize after 1 ½ months, Levi?!” Her eyebrows were furrowed and her teeth were gritted as she shook her head before even realizing what she just said.

Levi stared at her. She had that broken look on her face again, as she sighed softly. Her eyes looked so sad.

Way to go Ackerman, you dumbass.

“You don't like me. And I..” she blinked back her tears that were building up.

“I loved you..” She said in a whisper. Loved?.. No.

“I’ve never hated you (Y/n).” She looked at him, not believing what he was saying.

“I have always..” His heartbeat sped up. His cheeks warming up and being dusted with blush.

“I love you, (Y/n).” Her eyes widened as she slowly turned her head to Levi.

He had eyebags under his eyes. His skin looked paler than it usually did. And.. he had this pleading look in his eyes.

What happened to him? Was he just as broken as her?.. but how? He looked like he didn't even care when he ripped her heart out and stopped on it with ease.

But she just broke eye contact instead of believing him. That's what they all say. ‘Sorry’ to make it better. But they don't really mean it. Is a bandage immediately going to heal you? It's not. So it's best not to sugarcoat it.

“Tch, you're lying to yourself.”

Levi stepped back, his frustration building up.

“I hate liars.”

“Then if you really love me, why did you tell me all those things in your office that day?” (Y/n) glared.

“I just brought you food, you ass.” She looked away, feeling those stupid crocodile tears build up again.

He let out a sigh and turned his head away from her.

“(Y/n) I really didn't mean any of that stupid shit I spoke. I just..” He sucked in a breath, as the awkwardness got to him finally.

“I get awkward and.. fuck, this sounds stupid-.. n-nervous around you. Which is why I've been so mean to you lately, and why I can't even look y-you in the eye when you're around me or why I have this stupid ass stutter!” He slapped a hand over his face and turned his whole body away from her, his cheeks turning to the color of a tomato this time.

(Y/n)’s furrowed brows relaxed when she started running everything he said through her brain. That explains why he stutters around her and why he does act nervous every time she even breathes near him. She gasped quietly, and her eyes softened.

Does he really have feelings for her? Real ones?

So all the things he said.. Did he really not mean it? But wait.. if he did like her or.. ‘love’ her like he says he does, why did he even say all those cruel things to begin with? Like from the very beginning?

“Levi.” He turned his head to look at her.

“(Y/n).”

“Why were you even mean to begin with if you really do like me? Everything you said.. it's.. not going to go away so easily. You said it all so easily though. I'm just.. confused.” Levi glanced down hesitant, and then walked toward her, this time she didn't say anything.

Once he stood in front of her, he slowly grabbed her hands. (Y/n)’s eyebrows raised slightly.

‘I thought he hated physical interaction.’

“I say this with full honesty, (Y/n). I have no idea how to talk to you normally. Not so long ago, when you would talk to me I didn't know how to respond at all. That's where the stutter comes in. And I’ve never been attracted to anyone like I am with you. It's hard to say, brat.” He looked up. She just stared at him.

“All the random insults poured out of my mouth every time I saw you because I get awkward and I think that's ‘flirting’.” She looked down, feeling his thumbs start to rub circles on her hands.

“I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean any of it, I was talking out of my ass. Your body is beautiful and so are you.. I-I can't even explain how much I..” Levi’s eyes met with hers as he trailed off. He lost his train of thoughts. How couldn't he?

When she staring at him with those fucking pretty eyes. (Y/n) blinked causing him to snap out of it. He cleared his throat and his eyes sort of.. softened.

“How much I love you.”

“Levi..” That sparkle in her eye shining brighter than ever. Her cheeks turned crimson.

“I understand if you don't want to be with me. But I promise if you do, I won't ever disappoint you or make you cry like I've done so many times.” Levi’s heart thumped and since it was so quiet in the night, the only thing to be heard was the sounds of nature, the wind and his heart beating out of his chest.

“I'll make sure you start eating again. Every single day.” He hesitantly lifted one of her hands and placed a light kiss on her knuckle.

“I just.. I don't want to get hurt again.” (Y/n) whispered, her eyes not meeting his.

“I promise I'll never hurt you like this ever again.” She looked up.

“Promise?” He smiled softly, making her heart flutter. She's never seen Levi smile.

“I promise.” The longer he stared at her, his attention moved down to her lips. Her heart beating faster than a rabbits at this point, her breath was caught at the back of her throat. Levi glanced at her eyes, then her lips. Then he lifted a hand to her chin. Tilting her head as he slowly leaned in.

‘Levi?’ She thought in her brain.

Just as his lips brushed against hers she relaxed. (Y/n) closed her eyes, and leaned in, placing her lips onto his soft ones. As their lips connected, (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him with his other arm.

The kiss was sweet. Levi felt like someone lit a bonfire inside of him, his neck and face heating up immediately. (Y/n) could almost feel her heart beating in her throat. She felt like she couldn't breathe the longer her and Levi kissed.

Finally he broke his lips apart from hers.

A small blush on his facial features as he smiled genuinely.

“I'll help you clean up this shit, so we can leave sooner. It smells like ass in here.” (Y/n) nodded, letting out a small laugh. One of her rare laughs.

As she went to pick up the shovel she turned around to look back at Levi.

“Levi?” He turned to her.

“(Y/n)?”

“.. I love you.” Love filled his eyes as shyness filled his thoughts causing him to halt for a second.

“I love you, too.”

a/n: I hope you enjoyed that story!! please requests more! ❣️:)

[confessyourship]

Let’s not get too upset at antiproshipconfessions. Apparently, they’re 14. This is incredibly disturbing.

https://www.tumblr.com/antiproshipconfessions/767758660122329088/heres-an-idea-if-you-have-a-tiktok-account-go

🩷

[mellonieee]

To me Perirep feels like one of those ships that you're either all for or you don't ship it at all, there is no in-between.

[beesgav]

replaced my headphones recently and my new ones are fully noise-cancelling, which I am very much still getting used to

[iniyaas]

I genuinely don't understand what Ness is expecting of Kaiser anymore?

See, Kaiser is actually praising(?) Ness here:

He is warning Rin that he is gonna get bitten by Yoichi and the stray dog- Ness. which yes, Rin did overlook Ness gaining on him and does lose the ball.

And yet, Ness' reaction is: "What do you think of my press, Kaiser?!"

Whereas Kaiser never said that his presses or passes were bad or anything? In fact, I am pretty sure he has been watching Ness' moves; cuz he noticed Ness pressing in before Rin or Isagi. all he said was that they won't maintain their one-to-one coordination anymore.

Leaving 'find your new master' and all the edgy teenager talk aside, the so-called "Kainess breakup" boils down to this, right? Kaiser wants to open up his options and include the other players into his play style--which is not necessarily a bad thing? Soccer is, yes, a team sport; how are they going to play a team sport with just two people? In fact, won't Ness, being a midfielder, have more scope for performance too, if he passes to others, not just Kaiser? idk.

Okay, but what is super funny to me in this whole "breakup" is: Kaiser really thought he took in a dog, made him his pet, but now he has abandoned him on the streets again -> Status Updated: my dog is a stray dog again/ UP for sale lmao

poor Ness is so in the habit of being patted and praised "Good boy, Ness" after every pass or smth; so he goes to Kaiser for the same but gets this:

Find a new master who'd pat (squeeze? crush?) his head and go Good Boy, Ness! I am sad for you, Ness--but I guess I can't relate to being so obedient to someone your age?? Love is one thing, admiration is another; but this is ??? what exactly?? obsession maybe? praise kink?

adding: this post by @/riririnnnn [I wonder if Ness is still going to blame Isagi for everything.]

something else I am curious about, and don't understand is this:

See, Ness is super happy for Kaiser getting an offer from Re Al!

When Kaiser was cartoon-villain-monologuing about Isagi (so cringey it was reidiculous, Kaiser what the fuck was that), Ness got frustrated that Kaiser is looking at someone else, not him??

And yet, if Kaiser does accept Re Al offer and leaves for that club, Ness will be left behind alone at Basmun? if Kaiser leaves for Re Al, he will obviously form new partnerships there, and never look back at Ness anymore? So, where does that leave Ness? Is he not thinking that far, or does he believe Re Al will extend the offer to him as well? They have Sae already-the best midfielder in U-20! Why would they take in Ness? this is not an extra buy-one-get-one-free package with Kaiser?!

What would Ness do if Kaiser actually left for Re Al?!!!

That's why I want Ness to stop searching for yet another master and live as a stray dog who is loyal to no one.

Of course, it'd be super difficuly to change his style after passing to one striker all along, but it's not too late. he can change if he tries, he has more than enough specs to do it.

After all, even on their first meeting, Kaiser commented:

[crazyhickofftheirrocker]

Did I hit my head? Or did Lisa Swain actually admit she has feelings for me?