#confession: im scared to clothes my eyes in the shower for the same reason....

[schizotypalpd-culture-is]

schizotypal culture is being afraid you're going to see things but not actually seeing them, like thinking 'when I open this door there wil be a demon there'

.

[kattwritesuwu]

Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?

I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!

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Fandom: Eddsworld

Character: Tom

Reader: Depressed

Fic type: Comfort/angst

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!

Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.

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I hate everything.

Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.

People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.

Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.

Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.

Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...

I'm planning to kill myself.

Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.

Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.

It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.

I feel so alone.

Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.

My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...

I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.

I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.

I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.

Im especially scared of people.

My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...

That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.

As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,

"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.

I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.

" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.

It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.

Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.

Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.

That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.

I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.

Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.

I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,

" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.

Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.

" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.

" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'

The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,

" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"

Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.

I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.

I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.

I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.

Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.

Strange.

Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,

" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,

" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,

" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...

As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!

Edd was smiling like a proud mother,

Matt was smiling giddily,

Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,

And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.

I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.

Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.

I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.

I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.

So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,

" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.

But I only did one of those things.

" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."

He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,

" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."

Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.

He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,

" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.

After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,

" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,

" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.

The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.

I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.

So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.

I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.

But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.

At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.

I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.

I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.

So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.

I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.

But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.

Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.

I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.

I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.

I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....

Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?

It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.

" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,

" Am I dead?"

The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.

" T-Tom..."

He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,

" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.

I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.

I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,

" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.

He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,

" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.

I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.

I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.

" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,

" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.

" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,

" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,

" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,

" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,

" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."

By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,

" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.

We could both tell that there would be many more to come.

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I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...

[justoneday-namjoonii]

forgive me

anon request: “I really love the way you write angsty stuff so if u want, can u write a scene where jungkook is like involved in illegal stuff like drugs or maybe he's a hitman, Y/N and Jungkook have a conflict about that because she's not happy with what he does, he gets hurt a lot but he enjoys his job and doesn't wanna give it up cuz he loves the thrill. It can be an emotional scene where Y/N tells him that she's afraid of losing him because of what he does. Honestly come up with anything, I don't mind 😂”

prompt: Jungkook is a druglord, you’re a waitress at a shabby burger place. He loves what he does and even though you try to ignore it, it scares you. You fear you’ll lose him if he doesn’t quit and he’s all you have. Your so called family are full of lies and if it wasn’t for Jungkook, you don’t know where you’d be. You wonder every night if the sirens you hear are for him—you pray it’s not for him. Secretly, he feels the same about you.

pairing: Jungkook x reader

genre: angst, drabble, mental health issues, mentions of murder, mature subject matter

author’s note: For the anon who requested this, this is for you! I hope you enjoy~ did i watch Truth be Told and decide to make the OC a twin? yes, yes i did

When you opened your eyes, you started to feel around for your cellphone. When you couldn't feel for it, you rolled over and yawned, it's probably under the bed. That's where its gonna stay too. As soon as you got home from work, you fell face-first into your bed and taking a shower was the last thing on your mind. But now you're feeling the stale department store smell on your clothes. It takes about two minutes for you to roll out of bed and realize you that Jungkook should have been here by now. You grab your phone and see two missed calls and a text from 2 hours ago.

jungkook💖💫: im sorry ill be over a little later baby, something came up 

jungkook💖💫: i miss you angel

You smile, he always misses you. And you miss him too, but you know he's probably out there in the slums of the city, doing what he does. How you lucked out with him, you have no idea. One night you were trying to call an Uber to get home from a birthday party at the club. It was around midnight and you had to work so you couldn't hang with the hardcore crowd. You went outside to call for a ride but you were being watched. Some guy kept catcalling, just outright harassing you. It was the scariest night of your life. You were telling him to leave you alone but he was drunk or high, either way, he wasn't all there. He snatched your phone. Just when you thought he was going to grab you, a black sports car, one you would have had to work two lifetimes to afford, stopped at the light. And before you know it, the man trying to get you is being dragged into the alley where he probably would have taken you. You remember being frozen, all you could hear was cursing and blunt force. The mystery man, whose car is still in the middle of the road, emerges from the dark corner between the buildings.

You were completely taken. The smile, the hair, the tattoos, and dangling earrings, paired with a striking gaze—he was an angel. He was so beautiful and he was just looking at you stand there with your mouth open.

"If there's one thing I hate, oh here you go," He hands you your phone and you get a nice look at his hand tattoo, "it's motherfuckers who can't leave women the fuck alone. Sorry you had to deal with that, but he won't be bothering you or anyone else after tonight, or use his hands again," He sighs, fixing his clothes a bit and wiping the blood from the corner of his lip, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, thank you," You slip the phone in your bomber jacket pockets, "not a lot of people would stop a stupid guy from bothering a girl they don't even know."

"Yeah, I'm Jungkook by the way," He introduces himself with a smile, situating his nice clothes, "do you- Um, did you need a ride? I'm not a creep I swear," He holds his hands up in surrender when you furrow your brows at the suggesting—great, now she thinks I'm a pervert. 

"I didn't stop that guy as blackmail to get laid, I just-" He pauses to grapple for the right words, "I saw you just standing on the curb and I know it's not safe out here-"

"If it's not any trouble," You interrupt his rambling, "I live about 15 minutes away, I was gonna call a ride but if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it. My name is Y/n, by the way."

That night changed your life forever. It was the first time you had wanted to kiss a stranger, the first night you ever came close to a soulmate. He confesses to having seen you in the club, he was at the bar, refusing offers from every girl from the bartenders to cougars out on the town, at least that's what you always thought. In that little fifteen minutes, you got to know very little about him but you felt so comfortable sharing things about yourself when he asked. He dropped you off and said if you ever needed anything, to give him a call. 

You never got to use the number because you ended up seeing him again. He showed up to your job, but he wasn't there for you, he was there for one of your money laundering and pill-popping associates. You were taking a break and for some reason, the break room was eerily empty. After you heard gunshots and the whole store went into chaos. You remember trying to leave and suddenly being swept away and into an outside electrical room apart of the building. You calmed down enough to realize that it was him but you were baffled.

"What're the odds that you would work at the same place as that bastard," He fiddles with the gun, tucking it to his side and flipping on the safety and pulling off his mask with a toothy grin, "do you remember me?"

"You?... Jungkook, how did you- Why are you-..." You make a small step back and swallow, scrambling to think of something to say. "Have you been following me like some creep?!"

"No! this is just a run-in by fate, I swear I didn't plan it. I'm not even supposed to still be here but I couldn't just leave, not without saying something to you."

"Okay...What do you want to say? I have to get back on the clock." You look him up and down, his all-black clothes and heavy boots intimidating but alluring in many ways.

"Wanna grab a coffee?"

For some reason, you said yes to the familiar stranger.

"Sure- I mean no! No, I can't Jungkook, I have to get back to work-"

"Trust me, just come with me," He extends his hand for you to take and smiles, "you won't regret it."

You took his hand and never looked back.

* * *

Nights like this.

When it's too early to ruin his life and too late to pretend like he wouldn't care. So when he shows up to the lounge to enforce an unpaid debt from a client, he leaves with bruised knuckles, two grand, and a rush of adrenaline. He went a little hard on the guy, but can you blame him? He messed up his plans. Tonight is date night, also known as 'crash at your place' night. It worked out though, you had to work late so he wouldn't be too tardy. Judging by the fact that you haven't answered your phone, you must be knocked out.

He slips his hand into his pocket and fumbles with his keys until he finds the one to your apartment. When he walks inside he hears the sink on and smiles to himself, you must've just woken up. 

"Baby, it's me," He announces himself, "how was your day?"

"Fine," You step out in your work clothes, still trying to get your earrings out, "as fine as a day working for the devil could be." 

"That bad?" You take note of the silk black shirt that's rolled up to his elbows, letting you see his beautiful sleeve of tattoos. When he comes dressed like this, and smelling like smoke you know he's been out into high-end clubs. The way some of the women look at him makes you feel small and a little self-conscious. But he always reassures you that you're who he wants, not some woman who sees him as an experimental one-night stand. When he tells you to meet him in the restroom because he needs to tell you something, you're reminded that you're all he wants.

"She screwed the schedule. My only day off was taken because her favorite, Kasey, has to go out of town."

He unbuttons the buttons on his shirt with deliberate fingers. "You walked out on a job for me before, remember that?" He smiles, letting his shirt fall from his shoulders like a dream. A bruise on his upper arm catches your attention but you don't say anything. "If you're not happy, just leave. I can take care of you, you can be my sugar baby."

"Yeah, my step-mom would love that, I could see it now," You cringe at the thought, "Hey, just a heads up, I'm not working or married but I have a sugar daddy who pays all my bills and lets me use his money for free, oh, he's also a drug lord. She'd really think highly of me then." 

"Fuck Carol, she's a judgmental priss anyway," He comes up to you, hands finding your waist, "why do you care what she thinks about you?" 

"I don't care what she thinks, but if she finds out she'll tell my dad and I don't want to hear it from him. If he pretends to not be disappointed by the lesser-twin one more time, I'll actually cuss him out...He's such a liar, he lied to my mom and he lies to me.”

"Quit saying that," Jungkook grabs you under your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist so he can sit on the edge of your bed, "you're not the lesser-twin, you're the cute and sexy twin." You sit back on his thighs and you both laugh at his attempt to lighten your mood.

"Well, I'm not a successful surgeon and I'm broke as hell, but at least my boyfriend thinks I'm cute." His hands find their way to the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head, revealing a disappointing tank top.

"See, this is disappointing. Why are you wearing a tank top? It's a hundred degrees outside." He sighs, looking up at you like a pouting little kid.

"Because I want to," You grin, brushing his hair from his brows, revealing a scratch, "you're cut."

"Yeah, had a run-in with an old friend, we're obviously not friends anymore."

"You should take me with you on these deals and stuff, I'd make a great bodyguard for you," You joke, "if you showed me how to use a gun."

"You?" He giggles at the image of you secretly acting as a bodyguard, a dagger, and a gun in a garter under a skintight dress. "That's not a bad idea, they'd be too distracted looking at how fucking beautiful you are to see you as a threat."

"Yeah, I always saw as the Bonnie & Clyde type of couple," He leans up to kiss you and you smile through it before he pulls away, "eh, you need to shower, you smell like weed."

He furrows his brows, a snarky smile on his mouth. "And you smell like French fries, but I still kissed you.”

"Touche." You can't argue with that, the French fries smell gets to you too.

He picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom with a beaming smile.

"Let's shower then."

 * * *

A deal went bad, he got grazed by a bullet and spent a few hours at the emergency room.

When he pulled in to the driveway and saw your car, he sighed in relief—he was hoping you'd come. After work, you had come by earlier to clear your head and take a breather from your cramped apartment and rowdy neighbors. Ever since his 'new position' he was put up in this huge mansion, equipped with a full staff. Luckily, they were off tonight so no need to keep quiet.

It's getting late and you've been trying to watch a baking show to stay awake but it was getting difficult. He hadn't called or answered any of your calls or texts. When you hear the garage door open, your heavy lids lift and you yawn, trying to wake up so you can tell him how your day has been.

He opens the door with a deep sigh and he's glad you can't see the thick white bandage on his upper arm and tired shadows under his eyes because of the dim lights. "Jungkook, it's so late..." You mumble, sitting up. "what took you so long?"

"Yeah, baby, I just had a mix up with someone who owed the group a lot of money, they, uh- They opened fire and we had a lot to clean up." He offhandedly mentions that and goes to the bathroom to change and you just wait for him.

The painkiller is wearing off but he manages to brush his teeth and slip into some sweats and a t-shirt. After flicking the light switch off, he falls into bed with a heavy exhale. Glad to finally have him close so you can tell him about your terrible day, you turn to hug him, and instantly a wince of pain leaves his mouth. 

"Sorry," You giggled, thinking he was just kidding until you see the bandage on his arm, "Oh my gosh," You sit up, hand reaching for his bandage with concern in your brows, "what happened?"

"It's nothing baby, I was grazed by a bullet and had to go to the ER," He spares you a weak grin, hand rustling through his damp locks, "but it's nothing, I feel fine."

It's always nothing to him. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead, one he would normally place on you. Nights go by and you know he's out there risking his life, not thinking how devastated you would be if one night he doesn't come back.  

He caresses the apple of your cheek, lips parting when sits up to try to kiss you, but you pull away.

"Hey, I've had a long day I just want to kiss you," He sits up now, "talk to me." 

"Talk to yourself, I'm going to sleep."

"Where the fuck is this coming from?" He glares at you, tone firmer than before. "Y/n, cut the crap. What's the problem?"

"Jungkook, there's no problem I just worry about you."

"I don't mean to make you worry," He speaks softly, "but you know this is what I do, I can't stop now, even if I wanted to."

"I know," Sadly, "but you're all I have."

He tilts his head, a bit confused. "What happened?"

"My sister called when I got off of work. My dad isn't doing well, his liver is in terrible condition and he needs a transplant...He's on a wait-list now." 

Knowing the severed relationship you have with your family, he treads lightly when requesting this. "Do you want to go see him?-"

"No!" You snap. "Why would I want to see him? This is what he gets for killing my mother."

"Y/n, you don't mean that..." Jungkook gets uncomfortable when you enter that head-space, you become ruthless in your words and your eyes glaze over with something he has yet to understand.

"Why not? It's true. He was cheating on her, that's why he never came home and she thought something was wrong. So drove out in the middle of the night during a storm and ended up crashing into a tree, because of him. My sister has always defended him, but I think it's because she didn't like mom either...The two of them may have cried at the funeral but I know them, they were glad she left us. That's why I need you, Jungkook, I don't have them or want them..."

"Y/n, you have to learn to forgive them for whatever you think they did, it's going to drive you insane if you don't...Fuck them, spend your energy on us, okay?"

"I'm already insane, I'm with you, aren't I? You come close to being killed every week, and it bothers me to think you might not come home...But I'll go through that if it means I get to have you, I love you, I only love you..." You lay your head on his shoulder.

He’s your angel.

You aren’t sure what you are to him.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: last filler chapter. the next 3 chapters are all planned. this is the end omg im so sad! i love you guys so much for sticking to this story! thank you so so much! the others chapters will be separated in two so i can write each POVs :)

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Chapter 47 : His chapter

NIALL

October 2018

Tour was finally over and we were back home. We had decided to get back to California for a while, if only to spend some time with friends and relax. I knew Olivia wanted to be around Louis and I just enjoyed being in LA for obvious reasons. Things had never been better between us but at least once a day, I could feel the ring I bought burning in my pocket or whispering to me from my underwear drawer. It always felt like the right time to get on one knee and ask her and at the same time, it also never felt like it was the perfect moment. I knew it was ridiculous because I was pretty sure she wanted to spend her life with me, but I was scared of being rejected, I was scared of what a 'no' would do to us and to our relationship. So many times, I had looked in her eyes and almost dropped down on one knee to ask her to be my wife, but I never did. I liked to believe I hadn't asked her yet because I knew she deserved something bigger than just me giving her a ring in a hotel room while we're waiting for our ride to the airport, but it was definitely not the biggest problem. I was just fucking scared and every time the words were about to come out of my mouth, I'd swallow them. I had no idea who I was trying to fool : Olivia was never the type to enjoy attention or extravagant things. She was reserved and private, pretty much like me, and I knew my proposal didn't have to be anything wild. It could be simple, and cheesy, and as long as I could find the right words, it would be perfect.

I heard the key in the lock and it took me out of my thoughts, pushing away my inner confusion. I waited until the door opened and she appeared, making my lips curl. She made a quick head movement but everything seemed to go on slow motion, like in a movie, and i watched her hair fly behind her shoulder. I was in it so deep I almost groaned and grimaced at how cheesy I was.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?"

I breathed in deeply, realizing I had completely stopped, and sent her a smile, licking my lips.

"Waiting for you like the loser I am." I half-joked before chuckling. "You were with Louis? How's he?"

She smiled at me and took a step closer, tilting her head. "First off, you're not a loser. You're cute. You're sweet. You're super endearing." she just said, staring at me fondly. Her expression changed and she glanced down, sucking on her bottom lip before putting her purse next to the couch. "I was not with... I didn't spend the night with Louis."

I frowned, waiting for her to continue and when her eyes met mine, I knew it was bad.

"I went to dinner with Dylan."

My lips parted and my heart jumped in my chest. I was never the jealous type and I was not about to start now, right? Then why did something seemed to stir in my stomach? Why was there a lump in my throat that had seemed to appear suddenly?

"No way, tell me you're kiddin'."

"Niall, please-"

"No, don't act like this is normal and that I'm stupid to be angry." i cut her, shaking my head. "I can't believe you spent all this time alone with Dylan."

She sighed again and sat on the couch, rubbing her hands on her eyes. I walked closer and dived my hands in my pockets, trying to remain calm but the truth was, I was hurt and I was not sure what all of this meant. All I knew was that I felt betrayed and I could barely believe we'd have to go through something like this again. This time, the roles seemed to be reversed but I didn't want this to break us.

"Obviously, you knew it was wrong since you purposely omitted to tell me." I continued, pressing my lips together to be sure I wouldn't let out a mean remark. "Why did you do that to me, Liv?"

It took her a few seconds but she finally got up very slowly, right in front of me. Her body was close, so close I could feel the warmth of it on my skin, but I just stared in her eyes, feeling my heart soften at the way she was looking at me.

"I don't love him, you know it." she expressed in a soft tone. "I don't love anyone but you. He's still my friend, and also my co-worker. I probably shouldn't have gone with him, especially not without telling you, but... I don't know, Niall."

I stared at her for what felt like an hour as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart and finally passed one of my hands in my hair and sat down on the couch. She turned around to face me but remained up as I shook my head.

"I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, and I do trust you." I let out carefully. "But Olivia, how would you feel if i came back here one night and told you I spent the evening with Heidi?"

I could feel her body tense near mine but I didn't look up at her. I waited and eventually, she sat next to me and reached for my hand on my thigh, squeezing my fingers with both her hands.

"I'd feel betrayed, and sad, and... and hurt." she admitted. "I'm sorry Niall, it was wrong of me."

I brought my other hand and placed it over hers, squeezing her hand and brushing my thumb on the top of it.

"If it can reassure you though, Dylan is seeing someone." she added, making me look up in her eyes. "A pretty blonde. Actress too. Not your type, obviously, but I think they really fit."

"Not my type?" I repeated in an amused tone, raising my eyebrows. "Says who?"

"Your dating history." she explained with a chuckle. "She's a small cute blonde and you like tall and sexy brunettes."

I pressed my lips together again and shook my head. "Naa, that's not true anymore." I just shrugged, making her frown. "I just like one sexy brunette."

She laughed and tilted her head. "You're crazy, I'm not sex-"

I cut her by pressing my palm against her mouth and raising my eyebrows, moving slightly closer. My eyes roamed on her again as something jumped in my stomach. I wanted to ask her to marry me at this exact moment. I wanted to tell her she was everything I needed in this life and that my heart was aching for her to become my wife. Instead, I breathed in and finally swallowed.

"Don't argue with me. You're sexy." I whispered before moving my hand away very slowly. "And I love you."

She licked her lips and the left corner of her lips raised up. "Your love is blinding you." she whispered, moving closer to brush her lips against mine. "But I appreciate it. I love you too."

She kissed me so gently that if I had closed my eyes, it would have felt unreal, and when she pulled away, I saw her facial expression change.

"I'm sorry, Niall. That won't ever happen again." she apologized gently in a soft tone.

"I know." I whispered before suddenly realizing something. "Hey, does that mean he broke up with Heidi?"

Her lips curled and she shrugged. "Yea, that's what he told me tonight. I feel a bit sorry for her, she's been through a lot in the past few weeks."

I stared at her for a few seconds, surprised by her words but at the same time a bit impressed. The fact that she could be empathetic even to people who were mean to her was something I appreciated. Of course, we hadn't been too kind to Heidi either and Liv was not wrong, she had been through a lot, even if it was not all on us and that she had put us through a lot too. Still, I felt my lips curl and she tilted her head before sighing as she turned her upper body my way.

"It's horrible what we all did to each other, don't you think?"

My traits softened and I nodded. "It is." I admitted in a low tone. "Let's just use this so we never do that again."

Her lips curled a bit and she licked them slowly as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her arms slithered around my neck and I sent her an amused smile.

"It won't ever happen again." she confessed, tilting her chin up. "I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you."

Her words made me chuckle and I raised my eyebrows, still looking at her, "Oh what a coincidence, I plan the same with you."

I brought one of my hands to her cheek before pressing my forehead against hers. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. It made me smile and gently, I rubbed my nose against hers, making her chuckle low.

"Shower?" I proposed in a low tone.

"Mm no, a bath. Together."

I laughed a bit but we ended up in the bathroom together as she filled the tub with warm water. I let my eyes roam on her as she got undressed, leaving her clothes on the cold tiles, and when her eyes met mine, she raised her eyebrows. The left corner of my lips raised up into a cheeky smile and she just shook her head but I took a step closer, placing my hands on her waist and making her smile too.

"Fifteen minutes without thinking about sex. Please." she asked, tilting her head and making me laugh.

"But you're just standing naked in front of me I mean..."

"Niall James Horan, you're not sixteen anymore, you can be around a naked girl without feeling the need to shag her, i'm sure!"

"Around any other girl, yea, but when it's you..." I let out, half-joking and making her roll her eyes.

"Come on, get naked too." she let out as she started working on my pants. I helped her take them off and before she could do it, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, letting fall on the pile of her clothing on the floor. "Alright, seeing you in your usual white boxers does something to me." she admitted, bringing her hand to my cock over my boxers and biting her bottom lip.

"Look who's all horny now." I laughed as she got on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, letting go of me and smiling against my mouth. "Come on, get in the tub."

After a few minutes, I was sitting in the tub, legs spread, and she was sitting between them, her back leaned against my chest. I didn't remember us ever doing that before but I enjoyed it a lot more that I thought I would. We started talking and laughing together and it was exactly like when we were younger and we'd spend all night talking together. Well, almost : the younger versions of us were definitely not naked.

"I can't believe we're dating again." she let out after a while as her thumb brushed gently on my arm. "If someone had told me that a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Who would have thought?"

"Me." I replied before she moved slightly to look at me. "I mean, I wrote 'you and me' about that. I knew we were meant to be, and I've always known I wanted to spend my life with you."

I knew this discussion could go wrong but I had to be honest about all of this.

"I could have refused, you know. I could have been over you by then." she argued calmly. "I thought I was. But then you appeared with that stupid gorgeous mug of yours, that fucking insane smile and those ridiculously incredible eyes..." She shook her head. "I had no chance to win that fight."

I let out a loud laugh and she tilted her head to reach my chin with her lips, leaving a small kiss on my skin.

"When I found out you were getting married... I started doubting everything." I admitted, looking down at my hand moving slowly to bring warm water on her skin after seeing her shiver. "I thought maybe it was too late. But I couldn't seem to give up."

We remained silent for a while until she grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers tight. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too." I whispered. "And I feel so lucky that you gave me an other chance."

Once again, she turned around slightly but this time, I moved my chin down to kiss her lips.

"We don't even have an anniversary date." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Of course we do! It's April 16th of this year."

I felt my heart jump at my words and held my breath. April 16th was the day I bought that promise ring for her in Paris. It was when I decided that I wanted to marry her and that I would ask her to be my wife. Since that day, I had almost asked her so many times I couldn't count anymore. I hadn't dropped on one knee yet but I knew that I would at some point, and April 16th was the day I realized that. Some days I would bring the ring with me in my pocket, some other days it would stay in one of the drawers in our room, but it was always in the back of my mind. I obviously couldn't tell her that and when she turned around an other time to frown at me, I suddenly remembered something she had said.

"Y-Yea, I mean you don't remember?" I stammered. "There was an article about that earring you gave me and you said that you didn't care that people knew we were together."

We had also mentioned not being official the day after, I remembered that too. but I decided not to mention it. I was pretty sure she had mentioned that we were together but I was also aware it was probably just a bad choice of words. She was right, we didn't have an anniversary date, but I hoped that it would become that date if only because it was a big day for me and I hoped it would become a big day for her, too.

"I don't remember, but I trust you." she just shrugged before her lips curled. "Alright, April 16th, then."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and I kissed her gently but firmly again, making her chuckle against my mouth. I could have spent the whole night with her body pressed on me as we chilled in hot water but after a while, we got out, dried ourselves and got back to our room to put on pajamas.

"I'll make us some tea." she proposed as we walked back to the living room and she finally disappeared in the kitchen.

I sat on the couch and started looking for the remote on the coffee table. I was about to give up when something caught my eyes and I grabbed her notebook. It was similar to mine but of a different color and I knew she wrote ideas for her tv show or her future book in it. I was about to ignore it when I realized it was open and I could have sworn I had seen my surname. Without thinking, I grabbed it and a smile appeared quickly on my face when I saw 'Olivia Horan' scribbled everywhere on a page, surrounded by hearts and stars. It seemed like she had tried to create a signature with her future name and it made me think about the ring in my drawer. If I was scared she wouldn't accept, that notebook was a good clue that her answer would probably be positive. I put it away when I heard noise and leaned against the couch as I watched her walk slowly up to me to make sure she wouldn't spill our hot beverages and I thanked her as I grabbed a mug. She sat next to me and our eyes met before our lips curled. I couldn't believe how happy I was.

"I love you, Niall. I'm... I'm glad we're dating now." she admitted before taking a sip.

"Me too, petal. I'm happy you accepted to be my girlfriend again."

                                                     ---

December 2018

When Liv told me she was spending the day with Julia, I was a bit surprised, but the truth was, I enjoyed the fact that these two got along so well. She said she wouldn't be home late but I knew how she could get and when Louis proposed that we grabbed a bite (and a few pints, of course)  together, I jumped on the occasion.

I knew Louis had become Olivia's best friend and even if we used to be very close, I was fine with that. Somehow, they had been through a lot together, and I knew it was partially my fault : they probably wouldn't be that close if I hadn't broken up with Liv. Of course, they'd still be friends, since they were before we broke up, but I knew their pain brought them closer and it was obvious that nothing could tear them apart now.

I was also slowly but surely getting over the fact that Louis and her had sex a few times. I was not sure how often but I was sure I didn't want to know and anyway, i couldn't blame her or him. It had happened and I had to live with that fact. Besides, I knew there was nothing between them anymore.

I smiled when I saw Louis walk in the restaurant and got up to hug him before we both sat back down. We ordered beer and when we got them, we clinked our glasses together and drank half of it. It was weird to think I was with Olivia's best friend and she was actually hanging out with mine, but the fact that we appreciated each other's entourage was perfect.

"So, Neil, how are things for you?" he asked, playing with his beer and turning it around in his hands. "Where's my queen tonight?"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, amused. "Your queen is with Julia, but she's not supposed to come back home too late. She'll text me. Where's El?"

"Gone for a few days."

"Ah. That's why you called me." I pointed out before laughing when I saw his face. "It's ok Tommo, I get it."

"I'm thinking you're ding quite well these days." he pointed out, ignoring my last comment. "When are you gonna pop the question?"

I almost choked on my beer and wiped my mouth on my shoulder before swallowing hard and making Louis laugh.

"We've just been taking bets on that." he continued, shrugging a shoulder.

"We?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Liam and I. Trying to bring Harry in it but he says it's none of our business."

"I've always thought Harry was the smartest of my bandmates." I joked, making Louis laugh again.

"Oh yea, you definitely thought that when he was balls deep in your best friend's fanny right?"

"Shut up, Tommo!" I frowned as he laughed again. "He probably shagged her less times than you did."

Louis took an other big sip of his drink. "Touché." he shrugged again before chuckling. "Not sure what it says about the relationship they had, though."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and drank what was left of my beer. I didn't really want to have this discussion and I decided to change the subject.

"Well, I don't know which bet you took, but I hope you lose." I admitted as I looked through my pocket, taking out the ring and placing it right in the middle of the table.

Louis' eyes got bigger and he moved closer, bending down to look it it without daring to touch it. I stopped the waitress to order us two other beers and a few shots and when I turned back to my friend. he was still staring at the ring like he didn't know what it was. I snatched it quickly, taking him out of his thoughts, and put it in my little finger to stare at it.

"I've thought about asking her so many times." I confessed, my eyes still on the ring. "But it never feels like the right time."

"I know you're a romantic man, Niall but... will there ever be a right time?" Louis said gently, making me sigh. "Aren't you just a bit scared that she'll say no and leave?"

I groaned and closed my eyes before raising my nose up in a grimace again. "Maybe."

He was right, I knew it, but at the same time, i wanted to make it special for her. I wanted it to be something that she'd remember forever, something she couldn't forget even if she tried. I wanted to express my feelings to her and tell her everything she wanted and needed to hear, just to make her happy. I had tried to write down the right words but everything seemed cliché and cheesy.

"Do it. She's your soulmate. I can't make up a scenario in my head where she'd actually say 'no'." he continued. "I think deep down, you know I'm right."

I looked up and sighed again, putting the ring back in my pocket.

"I don't know anymore, I just don't want to take her for granted, you know?" I shrugged. "I've done that before and it messed up everything. Never again."

"That doesn't mean you can't be confident and believe in the love she has for you."

I frowned a bit as I stared at him. "Are you trying to win your bet against Liam by making me ask Olivia to marry me?"

"No." Louis chuckled, leaning against his chair. "I just think you've been hesitant for too long. When exactly did you buy this ring?"

"Mm, well, about, 8 months ago?"

Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous. Had I been waiting that long? It was almost pathetic. How scared of rejection could a guy be? Seriously. I had never reacted like that in anything I did before, and I was always the confident type, but asking Olivia to marry me was something that made me so nervous I could feel my hands sweat and I passed one of them in my hair.

"8 months? Are you fucking insane? How did you manage to keep that secret?"

"I don't even know." I mumbled in a low tone, staring at my glass, not daring to check Louis' amused expression.

"Niall, we're talking about Olivia. The girl you've known all your life, the girl who's been in love with you since the very first day she found out what love was. Put your big boy pants on and pop the fucking question before that fucking ring starts to get rusty!"

"It's made of gold...."

He rolled his eyes and kicked me under the table, making me groan again as I moved my leg away. Damn, that kid could kick.

"Don't be a fookin' idiot, mate, and just ask her."

I finally looked up in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows at me. He was right but at the same time, I didn't know when I should do it. I wanted to do something special, or at least slightly romantic, but all I could think about were ugly clichés from movies. Nothing original came to mind and it was driving me insane.

"Alright. Soon." I gave in. "I'll do it soon."

[hoodmara]

Worth It •Nick Smut•

literally a concept I’ve been working on for THREE days and it’s long as fuck, so I hope it’s good lmao.

Concept: Nick is getting tired of jacking off, so Edwin tells him to fuck a fan (THAT’S BLUNT I KNOW IM SORRY)

Warnings: oral sex, language, lil bit of rough sex?

Please enjoy!

******************************************************

Nick’s right hand was growing tired.

He finished himself off with one last twist of his wrist and then felt the warm liquid hit the middle of his bare chest.

Letting out a deep sigh that he felt he had been holding in all day, Nick paused the explicit video he was watching and closed his phone.

He set it to the side and removed his airpods while grabbing for the rag that was hanging off of the small tv next to him. Cleaning himself up, he then jumped out of his small bunk to saunter over to the bus’ restroom.

Passing Edwin on the way, he let out a deep grunt in acknowledgement and kept it pushing. Edwin chuckled at his friend’s disheveled appearance and sent a quick wave his way.

“Another trip to the hub?” He asked jokingly, becoming very familiar with the boy’s masturbatory schedule. Nick’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks, turning to look at Edwin.

“Huh? What— what are you talking about?” Nick stuttered, the hand holding the soiled rag shifting behind his back.

Edwin teased his friend, but assured his privacy was not in danger. “Huh? What? Nick, come on, we both know that I’m not an idiot and that I can still see your fucking cum rag behind your back,”

Nick closed his eyes and ran his left hand across his forehead. He quickly opened the bathroom door and tossed the terry cloth into the laundry bag he kept behind the door.

Walking in, he quickly washed his hands and then retreated back to the lounge area where Edwin still held a goofy smile on his face.

“Ok fine, so I had a little alone time, is that a crime?” Nick inquired, plopping down on the couch across from his good friend.

“Look I’m not saying that I listen in on you doing what you do, but I’ve noticed you’ve been..uh...spending a lot of time alone lately and I just wanted to make sure that you’re good,”

Nick ran a hand through his hair and scratched the back of his neck, all the signs of a clearly stressed out Nick Mara.

“I don’t know, man...it’s been, like, a year since I’ve been with someone and I just— I get so..” Nick tried to make sense of his thoughts, but he couldn’t find a way to articulate them well enough. Thankfully Edwin picked up on his friend’s intended response.

“You’ve been bottling up your sexual energies and now it’s hit its’ peak,” Nick cringed at his friend’s honesty, but he knew he was right.

The idea of finally speaking about what had been on his mind was quite frightening. It wasn’t a big deal, everyone at one point got lonely, but Nick was someone who always put on a happy or unfazed face. Edwin pointing this out to him just made it feel like he didn’t do a great job of ‘faking it’.

“Do you have to say it like that?”

“What? Would you rather me say that you want to get your dick wet?” Edwin snickered, getting his daily dose of confidence from the way his friend was cowering at his words.

“God no, Edwin, what the fuck?” Nick groaned, making a sour face at the vulgarity of his friend’s words. Edwin laughed at Nick’s uncomfortable shifting and shook his head.

“When are you going to realize that you can talk to me about anything? It’s not like I’m gonna tell anyone, the rest of these bitches don’t even listen to me when I speak,” He replied, referring to the rest of their bandmates who were fast asleep on the bus. Nick felt bad about his standoffishness with Ed. He knew that if he had to talk about his…problems with anyone, it was best to do it with him.

“Look man, I’m sorry, alright? This just isn’t normal for me, I don’t get to a point where I can’t stop thinking about, you know, sex or being with someone,”

“Aye, I get it, it’s not something you want to bring up with the boys casually,” Edwin spoke, comforting his friend. He continued on, “especially with Zion, cause regardless of how much sex he’s not having, he will try to drag you.”

Nick laughed at the comment Ed made and nodded his head. Feeling more relaxed, he continued to speak on his problem in hand.

“Ok, so what do you think I should do? I can’t just keep rubbing one out ‘cause eventually, someone else is gonna catch me and I don’t want to explain myself,” Nick asked, hoping that Edwin would have a solution.

“Simple, just hook up with someone,” Edwin replied effortlessly, popping a cherry into his mouth from the forgotten bowl of fruit next to him. Nick shook his head in dismay.

“First of all, how? And second of all, I can’t just hook up with someone, we’re on tour, we live in a bus, and we’re constantly moving around,” He rattled off, not stopping after those few reasons, “not only that, but we have literal fans, Ed, what if I accidentally hook up with one of them and they start talking, huh? I can’t afford another scandal after I ran my dumb ass mouth that one time.”

“Hey man, you can call the shots all you want, it doesn’t have to be a random person, but let me just say this, getting with a fan was one of the best decisions I ever made,” Edwin smirked, running a hand over his freshly shaven head. Nick’s eyebrows raised at his friend’s confession.

“You slept with a fan?”

“Yeah, you remember that girl Rain? The one with the two nose piercings?”

“And the bright green hair? Yeah, I remember her, y’all were basically the same person,”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t meet her at a coffee shop, she was at the LA show last year and she slipped me her phone number afterwards,” Nick leaned back in shock, surprised that he never saw this coming.

He knew that the other boys did, in fact, hook up with fans, but he always saw it blow up in their faces. Zion actually had a girl threaten to pepper spray him because he never called her back and Nick did not want that same scenario to happen to him. But maybe Edwin knew something that Nick didn’t, so he gave the boy a chance to explain.

“How did you— like, how did that go? I’m assuming it went well, ‘cause y’all still talk, right?”

“Yeah, we’re really cool! We’re probably gonna meet up soon, too, ‘cause she goes to school in Michigan and she’ll be at the Detroit show,” Edwin smiled.

“And she’s not crazy or anything? Like, she’s not on twitter calling you out?”

“Look, I know Zion’s hookup story scared you off, but let’s both be honest, Z has shit taste in girls,” Nick couldn’t agree more, seeing as most of Zion’s exes have threatened to do or have done something crazy to him. Despite this truth, Nick was still having a hard time siding with Edwin.

“Ok yeah, but what if I get with someone who’s a fan and it’s great, right? But then I don’t call them after or I do want to call them after, but they tell those stupid drama pages? Like, what if—“ Edwin cuts Nick off before he can dive deeper into all the things that could go wrong.

“Nick, chill! Dude, it’s not that serious, alright? If you see someone that you find attractive, just ask for her number! Shit, if she likes you, you might not even have to ask. I’m telling you that Rain and I got along because she was a fan, we talked about the music we had coming out and what her favorite song was, it was a bonding experience,” Edwin inspired, hoping that Nick would see the good that came out of the situation.

“Alright Ed, I’ll take your word for it, but if this blows up in my face, don’t complain when I keep you up for another night at 3am to whine about it,” Nick replies, a small smile finally gracing his face.

Edwin grinned and stood up from his place on the couch. He walked over to pat nick on the shoulder.

“You won’t regret, Nick, I swear. Now, I’m gonna go to sleep because I’m tired as fuck, so don’t jack off too much back here,” Edwin joked, eliciting a chuckle and a quick ‘fuck you’ from Nick.

***************************************

“Yo, that show was fucking nuts, did you see that girl who flashed her titties? It was that one chick who always comes to the shows, I think her name is Allie?” Zion raved, rustling his dreads in a crisp white towel.

“Yeah, I saw that! She’s crazy, man,” Nick laughed.

Throughout the show, Nick couldn’t let Edwin’s words escape him. He spent the meet and greet, and a portion of the show seeking out someone who caught his eye. There were beautiful girls everywhere, some literally throwing themselves at him, but he just didn’t want to make the jump.

“I’m tryna go outside for a bit and talk to some people outside, you wanna come?” Edwin asked, walking into the dressing room from his shower. He looked directly at Nick, shooting him a wink. He knew that this was the best time to make moves, if any.

“Yeah, I’ll go out with you,” Nick replied, grabbing his phone off the table and following Ed into the hallway. The two boys crept quietly past some members of their team, knowing that they would try to stop them from greeting fans.

Finally rounding a corner into an empty hallway, Edwin spotted the exit that led towards the buses.

“So, you see anyone yet? There’s a lot of pretty girls out there,” Edwin inquired, speed walking to the door. Nick matched his speed and laughed.

“Not yet, man. But I’m not stressing,” Nick replied. The two finally reached the door and ran out, being met with a chorus of screams and greetings.

The two went out and mingled, saying hi to their beloved fans and taking as many pictures and videos as they could. Their staff eventually came out, along with a few security guards, to try and coerce the boys to get on the bus. Unfortunately for them, Edwin and Nick were much more stubborn than most, so they didn’t budge.

It was getting late and girls started to leave, particularly the younger girls, but many of the older ones stayed around. Nick was talking with a group of girls who travelled to Georgia from Tennessee and were planning to go the the New York show as well. A girl in the group stuck out to Nick, but he couldn’t make that known.

“So y’all are planning to travel back to Tennessee tonight? It’s one in the morning, you’re gonna be exhausted,” He chuckled, making the girls laugh.

“We’re in school still, so we got summer classes and missing those will get our asses in trouble,” one girl complained. Her friends all agreed, wearing the same annoyed face as their vocal companion. The girl looked behind her and pointed out the girl standing in the back, ��This bitch is lucky though, ‘cause she gets to stick around for as long as she wants.”

The girl looked up and caught Nick’s eyes on her. If he could, he would’ve jumped over the barricade to get closer to her. The gold shimmer on her sepia brown cheeks shone bright in the street lights. She could feel her own skin getting warm from being the center of attention now.

“You’re not in school?” Nick asked her, genuinely interested. She shook her head and moved a little closer, finally able to be fully seen under the lights. The moment Nick got a full glimpse of this girl, his breath caught in his throat.

“Uh no, I just graduated! Also, my sister lives out here, so I’m staying at her place for a bit,” She responded, tossing a stray braid over her shoulder. Nick couldn’t help but watch her plump lips move as she spoke, responding to some of her friends comments. Nick nodded, finally digesting her words.

“I wish we could do another show out here, I love the ATL,” Nick smiled, the girls immediately agreeing. They all broke off into their own conversations, trying to include Nick but not talking directly to him. That gave him a chance to talk to this girl without it seeming shady. He moved a bit over to the side, leaning on the barricade where she was texting on her phone.

“Who you talkin’ to?” Nick smirked, jokingly trying to sneak a glance at her screen and getting a giggle out of the girl. She acted like she was hiding her phone from him and scoffed.

“Nobody told me that you were the nosey member of pretty much, they just said you were the cute one,” she replied. Nick’s eyebrows raised and he pursed his lips, making his classic flirtatious face.

“Oh, so you think I’m cute?”

“I mean, you definitely ain’t ugly, so when you do the math, I guess that means you’re cute or whatever,” she joked. The two laughed and shared a comfortable silence. Nick moved his body to the side to check on Edwin and in the process, brushed his hand over her own. Their eyes met quickly and she could see a faint blush happen upon the boy’s cheeks. She smirked and leaned forward, close enough so she could whisper, “are you flirting with me, Mara?”

Nick’s cheeks quickly went from pink to a darker shade of red, the boy cursing his genes for his ability to blush so easily. He couldn’t let her know that he was fazed, that was not in this ‘hookup’ plan. So he smirked like he always did when he tried to act tough and flirted back.

“Depends, is it working?” The girl kissed her teeth and tried to hide her smile. She could feel her own cheeks getting warm, but she was also too proud to come off as some fangirl who was trying to get in the pants of her favorite member. Even if that’s exactly what she was doing.

“What will it take for me to get you home?” she responded, fulling shooting her shot from half court. Nick chuckled and pulled his hat lower. He slowly pulled his phone from his pocket, opened it and slid it to her.

“Let me get your number and I’ll see what I can do,” He flirted. The girl took his phone and quickly tapped in her digits, trying to inconspicuously slide his phone back when she finished. Looking down, he saw her name and number.

Nick could see Edwin staring at him out of the corner of his eye and saw his teeth shining in the moonlight. He saw Ed start wrapping up his goodbyes and thought that he should do the same.

“So, Y/N, you free for the rest of the night?” Nick inquired, quietly. Y/N raised her eyebrows in surprise and laughed.

“Yeah, I’m free. My sister is on a business trip, so I’m watching her place,”

“No roommates?”

“No roommates,” She ensured. Nick smirked and nodded as he walked towards the other groups of girls, planning to say his goodbyes.

******************************************

“Where’s your bed?” Nick mumbled against the girl’s lips. She was straddling him on the couch in her living room, her long acrylic nails scraping down his bare chest.

“Down the hallway, last door on the left,” She replied, going right back to attack his lips. Nick moaned at the feeling, loving the way her teeth would tug at his bottom lip and then soothe the irritated skin with her tongue. He slid to the edge of his seat with her in his lap and stood, gripping tightly onto the back of her thick thighs. Effortlessly, he carried them both down the hallway, every once in a while running into a wall and eliciting a giggle out of the girl.

The moment Nick and Edwin met back up at the bus, Ed told Nick that he had to text Y/N to meet up. She was staying near their hotel and Edwin swore that he would cover for Nick while he was gone. He couldn’t argue with Edwin’s plea, especially because he really didn’t want to. With the way her red sports bra was accentuating her chest and the black bike shorts she wore hugged her ass, he didn’t think he could pass up the opportunity to spend one night with this girl.

Nick used one hand to hold Y/N in place as the other felt its’ way across the wall until it hit a curve and then a doorknob. Turning it quickly, Nick used Y/N’s back to open the door and he stumbled in, turning around and pushing her against the door, shutting it in the process.

He ground his hips into hers, both of them moaning at the friction. She was already out of her pants, so when Nick gently pushed his thigh into her heat, a spot of her wetness could be seen on his gray fleece shorts. Y/N tapped Nick’s hand under her thigh, signaling for him to let go so her feet could touch the ground. He obliged and gently let go of her legs. She stood in front of him and put her hands on his shoulders. Pushing him back, Nick fell back onto the bed. Y/N took that time to strip herself of her sports bra and kneel in front of Nick.

“Stand up,” she demanded. Nick quickly shuffled to his feet and moved to untie his shorts. Y/N’s hands crept up the sides of his legs and pulled down Nick’s pants, slightly giggling at the fact that he wasn’t wearing boxers.

“I was a little eager,” he joked, kicking the fabric away from his feet. Y/N smirked and began to play with Nick’s erect member. A breath hitched in Nick’s throat and his hands went to Y/N’s shoulders.

Trailing her tongue along the bottom side of his dick, she swirled her tongue around the tip once reaching it. She kitten licked at the precum seeping from his engorged tip, sending chills down Nick’s spine.

“God, you’re so good at that,” Nick commented, his words breaking as they came out. Y/N hummed on Nick’s member, causing him to let out a moan.

Soon, she took his cock completely, only leaving about an inch out. Her swollen lips latched on to his member as she hollowed out her cheeks and moved slowly. She gagged a bit on his size, but powered through. Nick couldn’t stand for much longer, his knees buckling at the sensation.

Y/N could feel the man weakening at her touch, so she removed him from her mouth and let him fall onto the bed.

“I’m not done, don’t worry, I just didn’t want you to fall,” she smirked. Nick rolled his eyes and shot a smirk back.

“I can’t lie, I was about to bust, but thanks for worrying about me,” he replied. The girl in front of him smiled and moved to take his erection back into her mouth, but Nick stopped her, “is it ok if I touch your hair?”

Y/N let out a loud laugh and nodded her head. Nick smiled and moved his hand to pull Y/N’s braids into a ponytail. She made a comment about Nick being a gentleman, making him laugh as she went back down to finish her work.

Skipping past any more foreplay, Y/N took Nick’s shaft into her mouth completely, choking a bit when her nose touched the base. Nick grunted at the feeling and help her out, moving her head in a steady motion. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to his breaking point. Y/N used her small hand to replace her mouth on the lower part of his dick. Her movements got sloppier as she sped up, her saliva making it easier as it coated his member.

“I’m gonna, I’m— I’m gonna cum,” Nick stuttered, his grip on her hair loosening. She mumbled a drawn out ‘mmhm’, pushing him to his climax.

The warm liquid ran down Y/N’s throat, Nick thrusting into her mouth to chase the last of his climax. Nick caressed the bare canvas of Y/N’s back, craving the feel of her soft skin. She let go of his cock, her teeth gently grazing the skin as she moved away. Y/N looked up at Nick through her eyelashes as she wiped the sides of her mouth. Nick let out an animalistic growl as he picked her up and tossed her on the bed. The girl laughed at the force, but was more ready than she had ever been.

“You treated me so nicely, baby, the least I can do is return the favor,” he smirked, pulling down her tiny black underwear. Immediately, he dived into her heat, his tongue licking at her clit fervently. Nick then took his finger and slid into Y/N’s entrance, curling up into her g-spot.

She fell into a moaning mess, not expecting the boy to eat her out. Y/N grabbed at Nick’s messy brown hair, pushing him farther into her heat. He continued to lap up her wetness until her moans began to come out much higher than before. He could tell that she was about to cum from the way she was clenching around his finger, so he moved away from her.

Y/N lifted her head when she felt Nick pull away. Shooting him a confused look, she kissed her teeth.

“What the hell, I was close!” She whined, making the boy laugh. He leaned down to grab a condom from his pocket and used his teeth to rip it open. Sliding it on, he pumped himself a few times before moving back onto the bed.

“I gotchu, girl, don’t worry,” he smiled, then continued, “you ready for me?”

Y/N nodded excitedly and pulled him on top of her. With one hand on the side of her head and the other one lining himself up with her entrance, Nick slowly slid his cock into her. A drawn out whimper came from Y/N’s mouth as Nick grunted at the tight feeling of her hole.

“Nick I want more,” Y/N begged, her nails scraping his back. Nick sped up his thrusts, the sound of skin slapping filled the room. He hummed as he left open mouth kisses on her neck. Y/N started to clench around Nick, prefacing her orgasm. The tightness of her heat made Nick’s eyes roll back, the hand that was holding him was shaking and pulling at the sheets. Y/N tapped Nick on the chest, so he met her eyes.

“I want to ride you,” she said. Nick’s eyes grew wide and he nodded quickly, almost coming at the thought of her on top. Quickly, he flipped the both of them over. Y/N moved into a squat position, lining Nick up with her entrance. Sinking down, he clutched onto her thigh at the new feeling. She bounced quickly on his dick, throwing her head back at the feeling. Nick moved his hands from her thigh to play with Y/N’s hard nipples. She moaned loudly and moved her own hand to toy with her clit.

The two of them were in complete bliss, nearing their orgasms quickly. Nick silently thanked Edwin for the idea and pushed his head back into the pillows, bracing for his second climax of the night.

“I can’t take much more, babe,” Nick mumbled, trailing his fingertips down her chest to rest on her thighs. He began to thrust up, meeting her own. Y/N had her bottom lip clenched in between her teeth in concentration. She fell to her knees from her squat position, but continued to slide Nick in and out of her.

“Me either, I think I’m about to—“ as she spoke, her orgasm hit, her mouth widening. The way she tightened around him and the look on her face pushed Nick over the edge, filling the latex with his warm seed. He kept messily thrusting up. Y/N had to put a hand on his pelvis to slow him down.

Falling forward, her chest met Nick’s and he wrapped an arm around her waist. Leaning over the bed, he picked up his phone to check the time. His clock read 4:18 and he hissed, shocked that it was so late.

“You have to leave, don’t you?” Y/N asked, weakly lifting her head up from his shoulder. Nick sadly nodded and frowned at the breeze he felt when she rolled off of him. He turned to sit up in the bed and placed his feet down on the carpet.

Nick grabbed his pants and began to slide them on. Y/N handed him his phone and got up to walk him out. She slipped on her panties and opened the door for him.

Collecting his T-shirt in the living room, Nick grabbed his sweatshirt and handed it to Y/N.

“Keep this, I’ll get it back from you the next time we hang out,” he said, making the girl smile. She pulled it on and shoved her hands into the pocket.

“So we’re gonna hang again?”

“I would like to, even though I don’t come out to Georgia or Tennessee often,”

“Well it’s a good thing I travel for work,” Y/N smirked, Nick raiding his eyebrow in response.

“What are you doing in a month?” He asked.

“Coincidently, I’m in California for a shoot,” she replied.

“Well, if you want to, I’d definitely love to see you at our LA show?”

“Are you sure that won’t compromise our little secret?” Nick thought about what Y/N said, since it was a concern of his to not get caught. But being around Y/N made the idea easier to bear, and much more exciting after their night together. Getting an alert on his phone that his ride had arrived, Nick smiled.

“Nah, and even if it did, I think you’re worth it,” he flirted, leaving the girl with his usual charm.

[hanniejji]

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh

[nothing-but-kpop-dreams]

Got7 Reaction: Both them and their s/o being each other’s first. (Request)

Hey guys! I’m sorry that this reaction took forever to write, it was a little bit of a challenge to write about first times. But we pulled through! Anyways I hope you enjoy these scenarios/reactions.

~~~

JB / Im Jaebum - Tonight was your 8 month anniversary and just after dinner you and JB decide to walk around town. Although there were absolutely no secrets between the two of you, just a few weeks ago JB finally felt that it was time to reveal a secret he’s been keeping for a long time. He was a virgin. Being insecure yourself, after his reveal, you decide to confide in him and also reveal that you too, share the same secret. Typically for your anniversaries, you and JB would order take out and watch movies at home. This morning you were getting ready by slipping on sweatpants and one of JB’s sweatshirts. You looked through a wide selection of movies on Netflix, trying to find one that you’d thought you both could enjoy. Suddenly you received a text from Jaebum telling you to look inside your closet for a pink box. Confused, you walk into your closet finding a pink box. Once you carefully opened it, you gasped. In the box there was a gorgeous dress and under the dress you find a hand written note saying.

I hope you liked it. Wear this and be ready by 7:30 xoxo  

Quickly, you glanced at the clock, it walk already 4:50pm giving you a little more than two hours to get fully ready. Ditching your sweatpants and sweatshirt, you immediately hop into the shower. Once you were finished you slipped into your robe, getting started on your hair and makeup. By the time you slipped on your dress and shoes, you hear the doorbell ring. Opening the door you see Jaebum in a nice white button up polo and navy blue chinos, looking as handsome as ever. Giving you a bouquet of flowers you gladly take them and put them in a jar of water, before going to the restaurant.

All through out dinner, the tension between the two of you was enough to be cut with a knife. So walking out of the restaurant felt like a breath of fresh air. it was almost 9pm when you and JB decided to walk back to his dorm. Worried about the other members, he assured you that he had the whole dorm to himself for the next week while the others went to visit family. Unlocking the door to his room you gasped in shock at the sight in front of you. His bed was covered in rose petals. 

“Jaebum,” you marveled “You didn’t have do this” 

You turned to face him with cheeks burning pink. He slowly puts one arm around your waist, and kisses you passionately. 

“Then I guess you have to take this off and give it back” he says pulling on your dress. 

“hmm, maybe I should” You smirk before kissing him again.

Mark - It was the morning after, you and Mark’s romantic night. Laying next to him in bed, you stare at his handsome sleeping face. It never occurred to you how handsome Mark looked when he slept. You would always sleep before he gets home from work, and wake up to an empty apartment. Although you understood Mark’s frequent absences at home, it sometimes left you lonely, especially after a hard day’s work and you just want to come home and see his smiling face. Yesterday was different. Once you came home from work, surprisingly, you find Mark sitting on the couch. 

“I didn’t know you’d be home” you say with a confusing tone as you begin to put your stuff away.

He looks up from his phone and smiles before getting up and giving you a big hug and a peck on the cheek. 

“Let’s do something” he suggests.

You glance at your watch. 8:15.

“Where are we gonna go at this time?” you ask

“Uhmm,” he starts “Let’s go to the beach”

Hesitantly, you agreed. After changing into something more comfortable (probably shorts and a long sleeve idk), you and Mark immediately drive 30 minutes heading to the beach. The moon was out and there was a nice breeze. Hand in hand you and Mark walk against the shoreline. You lean your head against his shoulder as he places a kiss on the top of your head. Suddenly, Mark removes himself from your hold. You look at him confusingly, as he begins to take off his clothes. Your eyes go wide as you see an almost naked Mark, standing in front of you in nothing but his underwear. 

“Let’s go for a swim” He says before running into the water. 

You give him a crazed look. 

“C’mon! The water’s great!” He yells splashing some of the water toward you. 

“Fine!” you exclaims as you start removing your clothes. 

Running into the water to wear Mark was, you squeal laughing as he pulls you close to him. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this”

You couldn’t believe it either. It wasn’t like you to go out and do thing impulsively. Yet, for some reason, tonight had a feeling that you would remember forever. After your swim with Mark, you both dried off and went home. Once you got home the mood completely changed. The once playful vibe you two shared turned into something you couldn’t describe. Suddenly all clothes were off before you two could reach the bedroom. 

Now, here you were laying next to the man you love. Snuggling closer you feel his skin against yours. That when you realized.

“OH MY GOD!” you exclaim loudly, as you sit up.

A startled Mark suddenly wakes up looking at you worriedly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks holding your arms tightly

“We had sex!” You exclaim, “I lost my virginity”

Mark then engulfs you into a big hug. 

“You’re not mad are you? Because I lost mine too”

Jackson - Meeting Jackson was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Your past relationships were nothing compared to what you and Jackson shared. You were hopelessly in love with this man. Although your relationship with Jackson seemed perfect, there were flaws that you wanted to change. You and Jackson didn’t fight often, but when you did, you noticed that it wasn’t because of something silly like him not picking up some of his stuff or you taking forever to get ready, it was because of something deeper than that. Sometimes when you fight, the sexual tension between the two of you was unbearable. There were times where you wanted to just kiss him in mid sentence and let him do whatever he wanted to your body. You held back all those times because you were still unsure about losing your virginity. Of course, you had no doubt in your mind that you wanted to lose your virginity to Jackson, but you felt insecure sometimes overthinking about not being able to please him. 

After much thinking, you finally made up your mind. You were gonna have sex with Jackson when the opportunity is given to you. Both you and Jackson have been on edge this past week due to stresses at work. Right after work you met up with BamBam to go shopping. After about an hour you wonder to yourself why you went shopping with the kid in the first place. He could not for the life of him make up his mind about certain clothing item. So an hour and a half at the mall turned to 3 real quick. You got home exhausted. Opening the door you see an angry Jackson sitting on the couch waiting for you. 

You roll your eyes knowing what was about to happen.

“Where were you?!” He asked angrily.

“I was out with BamBam.” You say tossing your back to the side with your jacket.

“What were you two doing?” he seethed.

“We just hung out, at the mall” 

“Mhmm, sure” he scoffs

“We were!” 

“Tell me the truth. Were you two cheating?” He accused “He’s one of my best friends Y/N!!”

“THAT IS THE TRUTH.” You yelled, shocked at his accusation. 

“Bullshit Y/N I know you tw---” 

You crash your lips against his, not wanted to hear anymore. 

“You seriously think I would cheat on you?” You ask, kissing him again. 

Things got heated between you two really quick. Before you knew it, the both of you are in your room nearly undressed. Just before things furthered on, you suddenly stopped. 

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks, with a worried look on his face.

“I’m nervous....this is my first time” you reply shyly.

He pulls you tight and kisses your forehead.

“Don’t worry babe, this is my first time too. I’ll be gentle.”

Jinyoung / Park Jinyoung - Last night was definitely one that you’d remember forever. Yesterday started off not so great but ended in a way that you never thought would happen. The day started with a cup of coffee. On his day offs Jinyoung would take you to new cafes, where the both of you can spend time sipping on coffee and having conversations that could last for hours. This time, something was different. When you lightly brought up the topic of sex, Jinyoung looked oddly uncomfortable. Although you were a virgin, you never had any problems talking about sex openly with other people (especially since most of your friends talked about their sex lives like an open book). 

“What’s wrong?” you asked him, curiously.

“Uhm.. I’m just not used to us talking about sex so openly with each other” He says as he shifts in his seat, taking another sip of his coffee. 

“It’s just sex,” You start, “Besides, I don’t really know what it’s like...”

This time was your turn to shift uncomfortably. Talking about sex itself wasn’t a problem for you, but when it came to talking about your own sex life, let’s just say that you much rather keep that to yourself. You were pretty insecure about still being a virgin. Whenever it came a time to talk about your sex life, you often times thought that talking about your virginity scared guys away. So, that led to many failed relationships due to the lack of sex.

Suddenly Jinyoung’s vibe completely changed. It was like he was suddenly relieved from your sudden confession. 

“Me too...” he says awkwardly.

Your eyes widen, as you choke on your drink. You both continue talking about your sex lives, and it was shocking that someone as handsome as Jinyoung was still a virgin, like yourself. For a while you both talked about how your friends would always come to you two whenever they had problems regarding who they slept with or whenever they wanted to boast about their sexual conquests. Jokingly the both of you talked about having sex that night and even went out of your way to buy the stuff ‘needed’ for that night (roses, lingerie, candles, condoms....etc). 

Once you got home, headed straight for the bathroom, to try on the new lace lingerie you bought. When you got out of the bathroom, the lights were dimmed and you saw Jinyoung lighting up a few candles. Coughing, you made your presence known, and when he turned around, Jinyoung couldn’t stop staring at your body. Soon things got heated and eventually you both lost your virginity to each other. Now, here you were laying in bed with Jinyoung. His eyes flutter open as he smiles at you, kissing your forehead. 

“Good morning” he mumbles “How do you feel?”

“I feel good,” you smile “It kinda hurts though”

Suddenly he got up, placing both his hands on your cheeks.

“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you too much did I?” He asks frantically

You smile shaking your head

“I feel great”

Youngjae / Choi Youngjae - You and Youngjae were on the couch playing video games, like usual. Nothing was out of the ordinary for the both of you, but soon you started to get bored. Most of the time, you are always the one losing when it comes to playing video games and you hated it. Naturally instead of throwing a fit, you would just tell him that you didn’t want to play anymore. This time you had enough, you lost for the billionth time and Youngjae didn’t get the hint that you started to get annoyed. 

“No! I don’t wanna play anymore” you say pushing the controller away from you.

“Y/N it’s just a game,” he says picking up the controller, “Here I’ll let you win this time”

You roll your eyes shaking your head, and sigh. 

“I don’t want you to let me win. That wouldn’t be fair”

“Hmm. Let’s make a bet” 

“What kind of bet?” You asked, confused.

“If you win, we could do whatever you want,” He started, “If I win, we get to have sex”

“Youngjae...I’m still a virgin. I don’t wanna lose my virginity over a bet.” 

“Baby I don’t want to lose mine over a bet either, all the more reason for you to win.” He says as he cups your cheeks, lightly kissing your lips. 

Sighing. You agree, grabbing the controller. This time you were definitely going to try your hardest to win.You loved Youngjae from the bottom of your heart, and there was no doubt in your mind that you wanted to lose your virginity to him. But you always thought that when you lost your virginity, it would be romantic with roses and candles. You definitely did not want to lose it because you lost a bet. 

You and Youngjae agreed to play three rounds. Before playing, you made him promise not to take it easy on you. If you were going to win, you were going to win fair and square. The rounds between the two of you felt like a life time. By the end of the second round, the score was tied. The tension in the room made you more nervous than when you started. You glance over at Youngjae, he looked almost as nervous as you were. For some odd reason, you started to find his hard focus on the game a huge turn-on. The competition started coming to an end, but instead of focusing on the game, your mind started to drift off to how sexy Youngjae looked. Before you knew it, the game was over. 

“I won!” You exclaim with excitement. “I actually won!” 

“Good job Ja--” 

You interrupt Youngjae with a heated kiss. 

“Woah...Okay” He says pulling away “So what is it that you want to do”

“I have something in mind” You reply with a smirk before kissing Youngjae again.

BamBam - It was the morning after you and BamBam shared your first time. You snuggle closer into the pillow as you open your eyes, it surprised you to find BamBam not sleeping next to you. It left you feeling a little disappointed and upset. You always thought you’d wake up the next morning seeing the man you love right by your side, after your first time. But waking up to an empty bedside, made your heart drop. Sighing, you pull on one of BamBam’s t-shirt and head over to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee.

 As you walk over to the kitchen, you hear BamBam talking on the phone. You roll your eyes. BamBam left you to wake up alone so that he could talk to his friends (the friends he sees everyday). You were about to interrupt him and give him a piece of your mind but, something stopped you. 

“Yeah guys so I’m a man now.”

You tilt your head in confusion.

“Well I lost my virginity to the woman I love. I know that most of you aren’t able to say that,” BamBam coughs, “Mark” 

You smile to yourself as you lean against the wall. “Yes I do love her. I don’t see myself with anyone else but her. She’s amazing”

Feeling your cheeks heating, you place your hands on your face to calm yourself down. 

“Shut up Yugyeom!” He exclaims, “I’m not telling you details. What’s wrong with you??”

This time you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself, as you imagine what Yugyeom said. Suddenly, BamBam stops talking. Your eyes widen as you grab what’s closest to you, a lamp, and hide behind it. BamBam turns around the corner and stands in front of you, smirking. 

“Really, y/n?”

“Uhm y/n isn’t here at the moment, please leave your message after the beep.” You pause, “Beeeeeeeep”

“Okay, well when y/n wants to eat breakfast, I’ll be making some in the kitchen”

Yugyeom / Kim Yugyeom - You and Yugyeom were in the dance studio. Ever since Yugyeom caught you trying to learn the choreography to ‘Just Right’, he never stopped bugging you to let him personally teach you the choreography not only to ‘Just Right’ but for any song you were willing to dance to. For the past week, Yugyeom’s been teaching you some of the choreography he’s danced to when he was on Hit the Stage. Reaching for your towel, you wipe the sweat off your face, and take a sip of from your water bottle. You walk over to Yugyeom laying on the floor also wiping the sweat off his sweat. 

“Thanks Jagi” He says out of breath. 

You hand him your water bottle, and he sits up taking a large gulp.

“I’m gonna practice the one part we’ve been working on” You say walking over to the speakers. Putting on “Take you down” by Chris Brown, you walk over to the middle of the room waiting for your cue to start dancing. Once the chorus started, you immediately started feeling the music as well as the choreography that Yugyeom taught you. When the music ended you stood up and leaned against the mirror. 

“How was that?” You smile, breathing heavily.

Yugyeom stays silent as he beelines over to you. He puts both hands on the mirror trapping you between himself and the mirror. Your eyes widen as you look up at him. You see the lust in his eyes, and you shift beneath him. His body pressed against you, made you flustered flustered. It was like the air in the room started suffocating you.

“Babe...” You mumble.

Suddenly, Yugyeom pushes himself off of the mirror. 

“I’m sorry Jagi,” he starts “You looked so sexy”

Now it was your time to step forward.

“Babe, you know how we talked about our first time.” 

“Mhmm” He replies

“Do you wanna get it over with now?” You suggest smirking.

-Admin Cloud  ☁

[j4ylov]

Best Mission Ever

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Request:Could you do a smut or normal but with make out for Peter Parker where him and the reader both get stuck in the storage facility and have to pass the time just like in the movie? But instead of webbing walls and jump roping with a web, they have fun with each other ;) I love your writing btw #blessyou- anon

word count: 2469

Warnings: SMUT

Note: I decided to change a bit how they got into the trailer with the alien tech for it to make sense in the fic? but everything else is pretty much the same. ALSO THIS IS MY FIRST? (kinda) SMUT SO GO EASY ON ME ALSO I’M KINDA EMBARRASSED? but anyways hope you guys enjoy!

Masterlist

Peter was glad he got to go to the Academic Decathlon team, and so was Y/n, however they were for completely different reasons. Peter was really close to discovering who was robbing the alien tech and selling it back, he just needed to follow his tracker and everything would be okay.

Y/n was just happy that her boyfriend was reintegrating himself into school activities. With all his spidey action he barely had time for himself and the things he used to enjoy. Besides, a couple stolen kisses in hotel rooms wouldn't hurt anybody, right?

They both had been studying non stop, trying to get as many practice as possible before the decathlon, until Peter claimed he needed a rest.

“I’m just getting really tired”

The girl smiled as she slid closer to Peter, playing with his hair and holding him close.

“Maybe we could go upstairs? We haven't been alone in a while Pete.”

He knew what she meant, and there wasn't anything he wanted more than to go upstair and kiss his girl all night, making her body shake under him, but he had to go.

He stood up before the girl got any closer, sending and apologetic smile at her.

“I know love, but I gotta go -uhh- take a shower, I’m really tired”

The girl frowned as she saw her boyfriend getting out of the room, leaving her hanging. Had he just rejected her? He only did that when he had superhero duties but-they weren't in Queens; maybe he really was tired.

She decided to head to her room as well and give some time to the boy. She hanged with Liz until she suggested they got into the pool.

“Go tell Peter and Ned and I’ll tell Michelle and Flash”

“Be right back”

Y/n made her way to the boy’s room, but as she was turning down the corner she spotted Ned and Peter talking outside the door.

“You can't go Peter! What if something happens to you!”

“Nothing will happen! I’ll be back before the decathlon”

“But what if you’re not? Does Y/n knows? What am I supposed to tell her?”

“Just tell her I had a migraine and falled asleep, I gotta go- see you!”

Peter went on the other direction running, as Ned watched him go, still outside their room. Now or never, she thought. She might as well confront Ned already.

“Hey Ned!”

The boy jumped in surprise as he saw her approaching, quickly closing the door behind him.

“Hey Y/n! Waddup!”

“Hey we are going all to the pool, wanna join us?”

“Sure, I’ll be down in a sec”

“Great, I’ll come inside to tell Peter”

She tried to grab to the doorknob, however Ned stopped her, getting in the way and blocking completely the entrance.

“You can't go inside”

“Why not? He’s my boyfriend”

“Well, he’s just- uhh- sleeping”

“Well, I’ll just check on him, he said he was feeling bad earlier”

“No!- You can't go inside”

“Why don't you want me inside? What are you doing in there?”

“Im- uhh- watching porn”

The girl definitely stepped back as she heard his confession. Ned was a really dedicated friend or a very honest person. Either way, she didn't need that much information

“Well, I’ll-ummm- leave you to it, we’ll be in the pool when you're- finished”

If that wasn't a sign that they were hiding something she didn't knew what was. She decided to go in the same direction as Peter’s, and maybe try to spy on him. She hurried along the way until she spotted a blur of red and blue getting above the rooftop of a trailer. She took a cab and asked him to follow it, driving for almost 2 hours, until it finally made a stop.

She paid and got out of the cab, approaching the trailer Peter had just gotten into. She found the boy had left the door open, getting inside as quietly as she could.

They boy was looking around the place, looking for something, until he finally spinned around and saw her.

He took off his mask as his eyes grew wider in surprise. “Y/n! Why-What- What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question”

The boy tried to think of a response until he heard a noise from above the top of the trailer. Shit Shit Shit! The bird dude had arrived.

“I’ll explain later okay just- hide for now”

She did as instructed and hided behind a big box,hoping she wouldn't get discovered by whoever was getting in, but mostly worried about Peter's safety. She waited, trying to get a peek at what was happening behind the boxes.

“I’m sorry but I’m gonna need you to give back those things” Really Peter? Way to talk during a possible fight

“Get out of my way or you’ll get hurt

“The only person getting hurt-”

The next thing she heard  was a loud noise as a couple boxes and things falled down, probably from a struggle. She couldn't hear Peter anymore, and neither could she hear the other person. She waited a couple minutes in silence until she finally stepped out, finding some empty boxes and Peter’s body, unconscious in the floor.

She went straight to him, trying to wake him up, with no luck. He wasn't responding to anything she did, and she was getting scared. He still had a steady pulse, so that calmed her a little bit.

After a while of waiting the trailer got moving again, trapping her and Peter inside. She didn't even had her phone! She could not believe her luck.

She placed her boyfriends head on her lap and slowly falled asleep, while still stroking his hair.

---

Peter was the first one to wake up, standing up and realising what had happened, the trailer had stopped moving.He went next to his girlfriend and cupped her face, trying to get her to wake up.

“Love, wake up”

Y/n slowly opened her eyes, remembering what had happened last night.

“Peter! Are you alright?-What happened yesterday? Who was that and why- Oh my god the decathlon! What time is it?”

“Calm down Y/n, we need to find a way out of here first, then everything else okay?”

She nodded as she stood up. The moved together a couple boxes blocking the door and prepared to push it open. They tried a couple times until it finally set them free, at last from the trailer, since they were now in a big room full of other like that one.

“Where are we?”

“It’s a storage, they keep all the alien crap I told you about here”

“So, we are basically in the most guarded place on earth, how are we getting out?!”

“We should try to look for any escape? Come with me, we’ll shot at the door to see if it opens, or at least sets and alarm”

They tried to push, punch and move all the walls they could, however nothing they did helped. It was useless. They had been trying for what felt like hours, although it had probably been 20 minutes.

“Peter let's just- stop. Someone will have to come here someday- and then we’ll get out”

“But it could be like- hours until that happens! I’m bored Y/n- I’m sorry you’re in this mess with me”

“At least we’re together, that's all that matters”. She approached her boyfriend and stood close to him, cupping his face with her hands. “Besides, times flies by when you’re busy”

Peter looked at her in surprise as he recognized the tone in her voice. She looked kinda messy, with her wrinkled clothes and tangled hair, but she had a hungry look in her eyes that made him want her even more.

He decided to play along as he said “You’ve got any ideas to keep us busy, love?”

She leaned in once again, looking him in the eye and smirking. “I’ve got a couple”

Right after this she pushed him against the wall behind the trailer, staying hidden. She kissed him hard and sloppy as she pulled his hair, trying to get as closer to each other as they could.

Peter grabbed her neck, deepening the kiss as he slid his tongue on her mouth, making the girl moan. They continued kissing and biting, until Peter rolled over and this time he pinned the girl against the wall.

“Hands up babygirl”

Y/n held her hands up high as Peter went for her neck, barely brushing his lips against it until he reached her sweet spot. He went ahead and started licking and sucking into it, leaving marks all over the place. He grabbed her hips, keeping her still, but closer to him than before.

He continued kissing her neck and under her jaw, all the way to her collarbone, making the girl shiver at the contact, until he moved his hands under her shirt, stroking her abdomen.

Peter grabbed the shirt and pulled from the bottom, stripping her out of it, leaving her in her bra.

“Wearing my favorite pair I see uh?”

“I- uhh- I wanted to surprise you”

She blushed as she remembered how she was planning on kicking Ned out and spending the night with Peter.

“How exactly were you going to surprise me? Tell me about it”

The boy went back to her neck as she slowly unmade the clasp of her bra and threw it aside as he stroke her left nipple.

“Peter-I”

“Tell me”

The girl was enjoying the sensation too much, and was barely able to form any thoughts, let alone sentences, but she managed.

“I was going to- get up in your room and kiss you- so hard, slow- I would touch and kiss all your body- i wanted to- get on my knees and suck you off, make you feel so good Pete”

The boy kept on stroking it as he licked the other nipple, pushin his hard on against the girl, who moaned at the contact of his dick against her.

“You feel that baby? All your dirty talk got me feeling this way”

The girl wanted to put her hands down and pull Peters hair again, even remove the stupid suit getting on their ways. She looked at Peter’s eyes, asking for permission before he put her hands down himself.

“I know you want to touch darling”

She quickly made her way to the suit’s button, stripping him down and finally touching Peter’s chest, sliding her hands to the waistband of his boxers.

“Peter, please, let me make you feel good”

She got on her knees and locked at Peter once again, before he nodded and slipped the boxers off himself.

The girl grabbed his dick on her hand, getting it a little wet before slowly stroking it, like she knew Peter liked. They boy in front of him was a mess by such a little touch, whimpering as she slid the tip of his cock onto her mouth.

She tried to take as much of him as she could, and once she was full she started bobbing her head forward, sucking and licking.Peter kept making needy voices as his hips thrusted on her mouth, pulling her hair. Her hand was good on the base, tight and warm, while she came back up to his head, tonguing at his cum.

“Look at me”

She glanced back at Peter as she kept on sucking him, sending him over the edge. She swallowed as he came, letting her name out in a muffled moan.

“You did so good Y/n”

She stood up and went to kiss him, while Peter unbuttoned her shorts and got her hand in her panties.

“It's your turn to enjoy love”

She felt her legs shaking as he pushed his thumb against her clit, rubbing little circles. She let out a series of whimpers and started moving her hips along to him, trying to get as much friction as she could.

He moved one finger up her entrance and kept on moving his hand, while his mouth was now back to her neck and breast. She let her forehead rest on his shoulders until she felt a second finger sliding in, making her bite on him.

“Peter- faster please”

They boy did as asked and moved his hand even more, this time completely sliding of her shorts and panties.

“You ready babygirl?”

Y/n nodded as she tried to sit down, before Peter stopped her.

“No- I’m going to fuck you against the wall love, and you’re gonna take every inch of it, got it?”

She catched her breath and nodded, shaking in anticipation she placed herself against the wall.Peter went for her waist and carried her, as she held onto him with her legs and her arms.

He slid the tip on her and then completely out of nowhere, making them both moan at the contact of each other together. The girl made a whimpering noise as she started moving her hips desperately.

“Needy are we?”

“Peter-It's been so long- please”

The boy considered teasing her a bit, but he was just as desperate as her. He hold onto the wall and her ass as he thrusted into her once again, making the girl let her head back.

They found a rhythm, going faster and faster, with a thin layer of seat covering their bodies as they tried to touch and take as much of each other as they could.

Everytime he thrusted too hard her back would slam against the wall, making her boobs bounce, inviting him to taste. He went back to rubbing her clit and biting her nipples. Y/n never wanted to stop, but she was so close, Peter was taking such good care of her she could barely hold on any longer.

“Peter-i’m gonna- I can't wait much longer”

At her words the boy quickened his pace, thrusting faster, harder and deeper, while still rubbing her. She clenched her walls against him, making them both come together with loud moaning and fast breathing.

She finally slid her legs off Peters waist, still shaking from her orgasm as they touched their foreheads together, trying to catch their breaths.

“That was-intense”

Peter laughed as they seated down, trying to calm.

“If this is what you do in your spidey action then you should take me to your missions more often”

“Believe me, the only spidey action I got today was you”

“Well, at least I made it a little less boring, right?”

“Are you kidding? Best mission ever”

This time they both laughed and hold onto each other. They still had to wait, but at least they were no longer bored.

Permanent tag list: @spideyydarling , @isucaf , @geekyyears9 , @slut-for-fandoms , @letsgoflyawaybirdie , @illegallyholland , @littlenerdgirl16 , @trinityjadec , @cabinetxbattles , @nwmtagsb , @peterparkyourassonme , @nonewmessage , @captain-sherlockomg

If you want to be added or removed from my permanent tag list let me know!

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 15

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope you like this chapter? i know. slow burn. im testing your patience. and im loving the sexual tension, dont you? :P

also, if you like this story you may want to read the few blurbs i wrote about it. ill probably write more but here are the few already written

Niall & Liv (fetus) - FLUFF

Louis & Liv - FLUFF

Niall & Liv - SMUT & FLUFF

Liv & Heidi - ANGST

if you read, THANK YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : added a few! spoilers!

Chapter 15 : His chapter

NIALL

When I woke up the next day, I' was reluctant to open my eyes, scared that my head would just explode due to all the alcohol I had swallowed in the past two days but really, the first thing that I caught was Liv's scent. My lips curled and I groaned low, pulling her closer to me and burring my face in her hair. I tried to remember every single detail of what happened the night before and smiled more, wrapping one of my legs around her.

"Mm," she whimpered, slowly waking up too. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, I haven't opened my eyes yet."

Somehow, in the middle of the night, she had moved around and we were spooning again. I could feel my half-erected cock press on her ass and without thinking, I ground against her, making it swell a bit more. She squirmed a bit and I brushed my lips on the back of her neck before hearing her chuckle.

"Move away, Horan, this is way past the friendship stage."

I laughed and she sat up before stretching. I watched her back as she did, leaning my head on my hand, and when she finally got up, my eyes traveled to her ass. She was wearing black panties, contrasting perfectly with the navy blue shirt she was wearing that belonged to me. I licked my lips, gripping the sheets tighter to resist the urge I had to pinch one of her butt cheeks but when she bent down to grab something on the floor, I groaned low and my hand quickly disappeared under the covers to grip my cock.

"Please don't do that." I asked in a low tone, making her turn her head my way and chuckle. "Not funny. Your body changed and i'm dying to touch it."

This time, she turned around and she raised her eyebrows, a smile still gracing her lips.

"You mean I gained weight?"

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?" I just asked, sitting up in bed and tilting my chin up to look at her. "Why is it such a big deal to you?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, moving her hair up in a ponytail and tying it quickly, letting her arms fall on each sides of her body. My eyes traveled quickly on her hips before moving back to her face.

"Because all the girls you date are literally half my weight, Niall." she pointed out, shaking her head slightly, her eyebrows still raised. "You clearly have a type."

I sighed and turned around in bed, moving myself to the edge of the bed and putting my feet on the floor, spreading my knees apart a bit.

"Come here." I asked with a quick head movement. "Please, Olivia, get closer."

She stared at me for a few seconds but finally moved closer, getting between my legs before I trapped her between my thighs and wrapped my arms around her, making her lips curl a bit more.

"There was this girl.. I dated her for almost a year, and I was, and still is, in love with her. And you know what she looked like? She looked exactly like you."

She laughed and shook her head as I leaned my chin on her stomach, looking up at her. The sight was amazing for some reason and the warmth of her thighs in between mine made me want her even more.

"Lucky girl, uh?" she joked with a smile, raising her eyebrows.

"I was just going to say that."

This time, she laughed louder and moved out of my embrace, turning around again. I watched her body and sighed before my eyes fell again on her tattoo, making my lips curl. I wanted to ask her how much her boyfriend enjoyed to fuck her from behind while my name was permanently on her lower back surrounded by a heart and in my own hand-writing, but I just pressed my lips together. The truth was, I didn't really care how that made him feel, but I loved to see that tattoo on her.

"When did you get the heart around my name? I don't remember seeing it while we were dating."

She stopped moving and it took her a while to turn around. Her smile was gone she started searching in her drawer for something. I looked at her the whole time, getting a bit nervous. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable but I was so curious I couldn't help but wait. I cracked my knuckles and she glanced at my hands before pressing her lips together and clearing her throat.

"The day you broke up with me." she confessed, making my lips part. "A few days before, you left me a note in the morning with a heart you had scribbled and the morning you broke up with me, I went with Louis to get it tattooed around your name. I had no idea it was the last note you'd write me, or that it was the last day I could call myself your girlfriend. I just... I couldn't resign myself to tattoo anything over it."

I didn't expect that answer and kept staring at her until she turned my way and sent me a sad smile. I pushed the covers off of me and got up slowly, walking up to her and wrapping my arms around her neck. I felt her arms slide around my naked chest and her head lean on my shoulder and I held her tight against me in silence for a few minutes, my cheek pressed on the top of her head. It broke my heart to know that while I was trying to find the right words to break up with her, she was getting tattooed a heart around my name and I closed my eyes, breathing her scent.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, squeezing her tighter against me and kissing her forehead. "I'm so sorry Olivia."

She rubbed her nose gently on my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the way her body seemed to fit perfectly with mine and her hands on my back. She pulled away and sniffed, making me frown when I realized she was crying and I cupped her face, running my thumbs on her cheeks gently, gathering her tears as I shook my head.

"I'm never gonna hurt you again." I whispered, my eyes roaming quickly on her face. "Never."

I let one of my thumbs rub on her bottom lip and I felt her tense as her hands slipped from my sides. I meant my words and at the same time, I was scared to hurt her by accident. It would be different this time, though, I could feel it. We both grew up and changed for the better, and I was ready to put all the efforts into this.

She blinked a few times and took a step back, tilting her head a bit and sending me a shy smile.

"Are you hungry? Coffee?" she proposed, raising her eyebrows as I nodded.

We walked to the kitchen and she turned on the coffee pot as I leaned against the counter just staring at her some more, barely believing what had happened between us.

"You can borrow some of Louis' sweatpants and shirt while I wash your clothes if you want." she proposed, walking by me as I stopped her with my arm.

"How about you give me my shirt back, first?"

This time, she laughed and raised her eyebrows at me, shaking her head.

"Just wait here." she added. "I don't think Louis would want you rummaging through his stuff."

I chuckled as she reached the hall and bent down to watch her leave.

"But he lets you?"

"What can I say?" she says a bit louder. "He trusts me!"

She came back quickly, pushing Louis' clothes against my chest and I smiled, taking it as her eyes dropped to my boxers.

"I'm gonna need that too if you want me to wash them." she pointed out with a smirk, making me send her one too.

I smiled more at her and wiggled my eyebrows before putting the clothes on the counter and quickly pulling my boxers down. Her smile fell but so did her gaze and I just took them off, handling them to her as she pressed her lips together, making me laugh.

"Stop staring." I let out with a chuckle, making her shake her head.

"You did that so I would stare, so let me stare."

I waited a few seconds and laughed a bit again.

"Is it exactly how you remember?"

It took her a moment but her eyes finally met mine.

"I remember it bigger." she joked with an amused smile, making me raise my eyebrows. "You're not gonna pretend it's a bit cold here will you?"

I smirked again and took a step closer as her own smile faltered again.

"It's as big as it was and I bet you remember really well."

I looked down in her eyes as she stood, unimpressed, right in front of me. She kept her gaze in mine, still smiling, and finally placed her hand on my chest, pushing me away slightly.

"Go shower and dress up." she just said, taking the boxers from my hands.

With an other laugh, I moved past her and walked in the bathroom, leaving the door open. It knew it was a long shot but I wouldn't want her to meet a closed door if she ever decided to join me. I knew she probably wouldn't, and I also knew it was wrong, but at the same time, it was hard to think about the consequences of our actions when it was just me and her, alone together. It always felt like we were in an other dimension or something crazy like that.

I got out quickly and dressed up before joining her again in the kitchen as I rubbed a towel in my hair. She was dressed too with a pair of pants and a t-shit that was not mine and when she turned around, I saw her lips were still curled in a smirk.

"What?"

"What did you do with them?" she asked, crossing her arms on her chest without losing her smile as I raised my eyebrows, a bit confused. "My underwear. My bra and my panties. You brought me my clothes that I had left at your place back but the bra and the panties are missing."

I felt my cheeks turn slightly red when I remembered what I did and scratched the back of my head as I cleared my throat.

"Well, look, this is a bit embarrassing but..." I shook my head and chuckled nervously. "I kept the panties. I mean, I didn't do anything with them. I thought about doing it but I decided that-"

"You thought about doing what with my panties exactly?" she asked with a frown, clearly pleased by how uncomfortable I was getting.

"I mean hey, can you blame a guy? You leave your panties right there, on the floor, in my house!" I tried to justify. "I haven't touched you in over a year and you drive me fucking insane, what was I supposed to do?"

This time, she burst into laughter and I closed my eyes, raising my nose up in a grimace.

"Shut up." I mumbled before letting out a groan. "I'll bring them back to you next time we see each other."

"No it's alright." she chuckled again. "Keep them, they're all yours. You can even start a collection if you want. I'll take the bra back though, these are fucking expensive."

I thought about something smart to answer when I just realized her request and frowned.

"I didn't see a bra... perhaps it got under the bed? I'll check and bring it back to you."

"After using it to masturbate?" she joked, letting out a laugh before I threw her the towel in my hands, making her laugh even more. "You're so fucking rude."

She picked the towel on the floor and walked up to me with a smile. It was crazy to realize how we had both been smiling almost non-stop since we woke up and I liked it. I liked to be the reason of her happiness or at least, one of the reasons.

"You smell good." she whispered, licking her lips as my gaze dropped to them. "I smell so bad." she added with a cute pout.

"Maybe you should take a shower too. And maybe I should go with you, you know, make sure you don't forget a spot."

She bit the left side of her bottom lip gently and got on her tiptoes, grabbing the front of my shirt as I bent down. I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to lay her on the kitchen's table and fuck her quickly and roughly. I wanted to sit her on the counter and shag her until she'd scream. But if she just wanted me to kiss her, that would also be enough for me.

"It's not just sex, right?" she asked in a murmur as my lips were almost touching hers.

"Fuck no, it's not just sex." I whispered back, barely moving my lips. "It's also everything else."

Slowly, she nodded and I could swear I saw her eyes sparkle. I felt my heart jump in my chest and smiled more too, pressing my lips against hers. I was going to deepen the kiss but felt her move away and frowned until I realized her phone was ringing. I was so focused on kissing her that I noticed nothing around us. She ran to her phone and when she walked back to me, she was staring at her screen and I knew I wouldn't get to kiss her, at least not soon.

"It's Dylan. He messaged me to tell me he was coming back home this weekend." she explained without looking at me as she quickly typed something back.

"When am I going to see you again, Liv?"

This time, she licked her lips and looked up at me, her traits softening immediately.

"Soon. I promise."

                                                       ---

'Soon' turned out to be a few days later. The truth was, we spent our time texting each other and I wouldn't let go of my phone, not even to go to the bathroom. We teased each other, we laughed, sent ridiculous memes and sometimes, she'd even say that she missed me. We didn't talk about love, and we didn't mention feelings. All we did was reconnect as best friends through messages and it was fun. We still had inside jokes and things only the two of us could understand and that boosted the hope I had inside me to get her back at some point.

I stared at myself in the mirror before grabbing my wallet and keys and putting everything in my pockets. I decided to take a cab until the club and frowned when I finally stood in front of it. I was more of a pub guy but apparently, everyone wanted to go dancing tonight and I was not in the mood to stay home alone. Heidi had told me she would join us later and I knew she would since she was well aware that my ex girlfriend would be there too. I walked inside and noticed Olivia as soon as I let my eyes travel around the room. I walked to my friends who were laughing and noticed Julie moving closer to Liam, kissing his neck before bringing him to the dance floor. It made me chuckle and brought attention on me. Louis smiled widely and extended his hand to me as I gripped it and hugged him quickly, glancing at Liv who got up to greet me too. I kissed Eleanor's cheeks and did the same with her before she smiled at me. She was already tipsy, I could see it in her eyes and as usual, she was glowing.

"Did you see the puppy video I sent you?" she asked, making me laugh and nod. "I really want one!"

I opened my mouth to tell her we definitely could but closed it immediately again, sending her a smile. We couldn't get a puppy because we were not together and it was a real torture. I didn't really know where she stood and I thought asking her would ruin everything. Were we waiting for something and if we were, what was it?

"You're late, by the way." she pointed out, swallowing what was left in her glass before tilting her head. "And I really want an other drink?"

"You're the worst person for that, Olivia, you're always late, you can't bitch at me for this." I chuckled, shaking my head before taking the glass in her hand. "I'll buy you an other one."

"Or two!"

I chuckled and she followed me to the bar, leaning against the counter as I ordered. We waited for the drinks and I moved closer to her to make sure she heard me.

"I missed you."

She brought her hand on my cheek and brushed her fingertips on it, sending me a smile too.

"Me too, Nee."

I jumped slightly when I heard the barmaid and paid, handing her one of the shots I bought. She grabbed it from my hand quickly and swallowed it, putting the glass back on the counter with a thud and making me smirk. I did the same and finally pushed her drink on the counter as she thanked me. She sucked on the straw and her lips curled a bit.

"Are you gonna dance with me?"

I wanted to say no, that it was not my cup of tea, that I was never the type to dance in clubs, and that she obviously knew that, but the way she had raised her eyebrows and parted her lips made me want to say yes to whatever she was going to ask me.

"If you insist, I may."

"I'll insist, then." she chuckled. "Come on."

We walked back to the table and talked a bit with the others but it was not easy because of the loud music. I watched Eleanor pull Louis to the dance floor and when I turned again to Liv, she was smirking. She moved closer and gripped the front of my shirt, getting on her tiptoes again to bring her lips very close to my ear. I loved when she did that.

"I'm all alone tonight so you're my date." she told me, her lips brushing against my earlobe gently. "Make me dance."

I wanted to know who she used to dance with before she met her boyfriend and to how many of her dance partner she had given herself to but I swallowed my question knowing that jealousy was not a good way to get her back. Besides, I was not really sure I wanted to know and I didn't understand why I was so jealous suddenly but I couldn't pretend it was not bothering me a bit. Instead to let these thoughts invade me, I took one of her hands on my shirt and brought her to the dance floor, making her twirl around when we found a good spot. She laughed and ended up close to me, her arms around my neck as she started dancing. I loved the way she moved and for a few seconds I just stood there, motionless, looking at her hips sway. Her gaze met mine and she smiled more, licking her lips and showing me her finger, telling me to wait a minute. I decided to follow her since I felt a bit stupid waiting in the middle of the dance floor but she got back quickly as we both stood next to the bar. She placed herself in front of me and nibbled on her bottom lip, making my whole body throb. I could pretend it was because of the music and the atmosphere in the room but in reality, it was her. Only her.

She reached for my pants and I held my breath, not really knowing what she was going to do but she ended up pushing her hand in my right pocket as I frowned. As soon as she took her hand back, I put mine in my pocket too to find out what it was.

"You can add those to your collection." she just said, smiling more. "I just took them off in the washroom."

My fingers reached the fabric of her panties and my eyes got bigger at the thought. I imagined her pulling her panties down just to bring them to me and it made my heart skip a few beats, making me laugh again.

"Are you drunk?"

She shrugged. "Tipsy. But tipsy enough to dance with you very, very close."

I let her bring me back to the dance floor and this time, she pushed her back on my chest, bringing one of my hands around her. I loved feeling her body brush against mine and when she ground her ass against me, I let out a groan and decided to dance with her. I didn't really know how to move, I just followed her, trying not to get too horny from the way she was rubbing herself on me, and when I got out of my daydream, I realized someone had shouted something at us. Not many people had noticed because of the music but I looked up only to see my girlfriend standing there and the look she sent Olivia and I meant trouble.

"What the fuck is this?" she let out even louder, making Olivia take a step away. "He is not your boyfriend anymore, he's dating ME!"

Olivia frowned with a disgusted look and walked past Heidi, going back to the table.

I sighed and followed her as Heidi did the same and when we got there, everyone else was also back. Louis had ordered more drinks and he was lighting up a cigarette when Heidi started yelling again. He stopped moving completely and raised his eyebrows at the scene in front of him.

"Leave me the fuck alone, okay!" Olivia let out loud enough for my girlfriend to hear. "You've always been such a fucking bitch to me! Bringing Niall to fuck in the hall of a bar and coming back with that smug smile! You knew I loved him and you did that on purpose! And now i'm supposed to respect you? Fuck you!"

Louis' lips parted and his eyes opened wide in admiration before he let out a laugh.

"Well fookin' said!" he just expressed with an other laugh as Heidi frowned at him.

"Oh fuck off, Louis! We all know why you're always defending her, stay out of this!"

I frowned at her words but when I was about to ask about it, Louis flipped her off and Olivia scoffed.

"Mind your own fucking business!"

"Niall is my business. He's MY boyfriend! Go back to your stupid boyfriend, the guy you're supposed to marry, remember?"

"Yea you say that just because you tried to get in his pants and he didn't want anything to do with you!"

"Yea and that makes him stupid and obviously blind! Have you seen you and have you taken a look at me? You're a 3 at best! What the fuck do you have that's so fucking special that made men like Dylan and Niall want you?"

I saw Olivia's face change and in the expression on her traits, I could see all her insecurities coming back. All the efforts she had made to love herself, to be better in her skin? Gone. Her confidence had faltered and it broke my heart. Suddenly, her face changed again and she raised her eyebrows.

"Clearly something you don't have."

She turned on her heels quickly and left as my lips parted in shock. What had just happen exactly?

"You are the worst person I've ever had the misfortune to meet and you deserve a fucking punch in the face." Louis said before  swallowing the rest of his beer and leaving with Eleanor, Julie and Liam.

"What.. what were you thinking?" I asked, shaking my head slightly when my girlfriend got closer.

Heidi frowned and shook her head, walking past me and disappearing in the crowd. I stood there for a few minutes and finally decided to get out of the club to get fresh air. I had no idea where everyone was but I saw them talk together not too far from the building and joined them.

"Liv, hey, i'm sorry."

Her eyes met mine and her traits softened as she shook her head. "No it's not your fault, Niall. Don't worry."

"We're going home." Louis explained, looking at me. "Just going to get high instead. You're welcome but without your witch of a girlfriend."

My lips curled very slightly and I just nodded. "Alright, I'm in."

I knew I had to talk to Heidi but it could wait. I was in the wrong and somehow, I could understand why Heidi had thrown an other tantrum, but I couldn't forgive the words she told my ex girlfriend. Just thinking about the way Olivia's face had twisted in pain made me swallow a lump in my throat. I turned to her, noticing she was looking down at the ground and seemed lost in her thoughts. I knew she was strong, but I also knew she could be vulnerable, and there was no way I was going to let her believe that she was not perfect. Because she was. I was ready to tell her multiple times a day until I'd die if I had to.