#concert crap

[bonebuckets]

saw at least two people dressed up as jonathan sims at the will wood halloween party concert. saw a nikola orsinov and a cecil nightvale too. god, it was amazing.

[statementlou]

forgive me if this is too serious for an anon ask.. feel free to ignore it..

but this week shook me in ways i didnt see coming. i wasnt a one direction fan growing up.. tbh im still not, i listen to only a few songs. im same age as louis. so, i found one direction through him.

i have great affection for all of the boys though. and even in my short time in fandom, i've always been surprised and saddened by the bullying liam has gotten.. he just always seemed like a good person with really poor communication skills. to understand his point, you had to give him some space and context.

but this year has been a constant worried watch over liam. it was so plain things were desperate.

stan twitter got to me so bad that i left twitter the day louis' tour ended. so i was very peripherally aware of his recent harassment, but i did worry.

and now the unimaginable has happened, i am just at loss. not just in the sense of how to make sense of this loss, but also the complete lack of empathy for him still? even for other boys' fans.?? after they've seen how all of the boys' are hurting?

and just in the bigger picture.. how is this real? what loving god/higher power/whatver has allowed this to be the state of the world? he was so kind, so generous, just a boy. JUST A BOY. just trying to find a place to fit and feel safe. why was he dealt such cruelty? just while he was pursuing something he loved? something he was gifted with? in life and in death?

im just at loss. heartbreak doesnt even begin to cover it.

for me I've felt it was a constant worried watch over Liam for many years now, but other than that, yeah. It's hard to feel hope or faith in the face of so much senseless cruelty and pointless loss; all I can say is I would hope the millions of people who are shocked and saddened by this take away something lasting both about the fact that there are real people on the other side of the computer screen and cruelty has a real impact, and that addiction can afflict anyone. Nothing can make this other than tragic and regrettable forever; but I would love to see the amazing power of fandom mobilized to support programs for addicts and to fight stereotyping and dismissing of people who use drugs in Liam's name. To see people use this as a realization to really understand that it wasn't strange or exceptional that someone talented and worthwhile could succumb to addiction and ultimately die of it, but rather a plague that our society is allowing to run unchecked because of stigma. IDK, maybe I'm just grasping at straws trying to find something remotely positive that could come out of this situation but what else can you do? It's just so sad.

[dasloddl]

fuck vague posting I’m just full on ranting

[petricorah]

.

[semiotomatics]

just some venting

climbed a ladder for the first time since leaving work/going on meds yesterday, and it was. eye opening. one of the side effects of my meds is muscle tremours and it didnt even occur to me that that wld make ladders difficult, but BOY did it. esp since i was on an old as balls aluminum 10ft-er 😭 now today im so sore and i assume its from clenching all my muscles as hard as i can trying not to fall off.

sometimes i think abt going back to work, and what that wld look like, and obvs i knew there wld have to be changes so i didnt have another breakdown, but like. i cant even climb ladders now. or at least, i can only climb short ones (like 4ft), and only very slowly. i cant climb more than a single flight of stairs, i cant stand for more than 5 minutes at a time w/o support, i certainly cant walk around for more than, at most, a few hours (and ill still end up in pain + sore the next day). i do believe some of this is muscle atrophy from lack of use, but not all of it. cause if im being honest, it still fucking hurt like hell to try to be Normal before, i just pushed thru the pain. but now that my tolerance is shot, i just cant do that anymore. and i know i shldnt be doing it.

one of the hardest parts abt becoming/accepting that im disabled has been figuring out what my limits actually are, cause im so used to blowing past them every day. and if i want to be able to work sustainably AKA in a way that wont make me want to kill myself, i need to respect those boundaries. but its hard. im not used to listening to my body, im really not. i still struggle with even realizing im in pain, let alone what causes it/how to prevent it. and now that im trying to listen more, im noticing how dissociated ive been for like. my entire life. i think thats also why my memory feels like its getting worse—its prolly actually abt the same, im just actually trying to remember things now instead of repressing/dissociating from them.

anyway, yesterday was kinda rough and i just had to get that out. when im at home, sitting comfortably, i can sometimes forget what my body's like now. its only when i have to actually do things that i realize. and its kinda scary, ngl. esp when every dr ive talked to abt it either dismisses it, attributes it to my depression, or just tells me to "exercise more" :/ like maybe there isnt a treatment/cure for whatevers wrong w me, but id at least like to know. hopefully one day i will.

[rachel-bloom]

oh you don't excessively go to concerts in your late 20s? you must've not grown up with "friends" who never accompanied you to one because they did not frequently listen to the artist

[weedle-testaburger]

possibly my funniest claim to fame is I'm technically on a bring me the horizon song

[notsocooljess]

just me hopping on by to say always by blink-182 is grossly peeta mellark coded. he was made to pine and yearn to early 2000s pop punk.

[meerealsssss]

i think this was everything i've ever wanted

[myonmukyuu]

Was cleaning my house and decided to organise my doujin collection. Here's all of the Nijigaku books I've accrued over the past 2 years 🥳

The last photo is of some official books I picked up too.

A tally of the kinds of ships/dynamics in the books under the cut + some other stuff

A little inaccurate because it's really hard to classify things as one or the other but man there's a lot of ShioPom out there. Makes sense since in JP they've had a mini doujin event dedicated to just the ship 😂

Bonus:

My old μ's collection! (small bc I didn't collect too much back then)

and my general licensed manga collection:

[wolvesroampastelgalaxies]

Hey! Trying to build a brand ;) I am wanting to try doing writing requests. For FREE! Got some of my writing styles (ignore the content lol) posted on my AO3!

Mission Statement 💖

This blog is purely self indulgent. Potentially, more than likely, cringe filled c R a P ¡! I have decided to take pity on my dear IRL friends. They have sat through many fanfics and rants on characters and fandoms they have no clue about. So, I pass the mantel to Tumblr.

Prepare for OCs shipped with characters (often obscure) and whatever fan art I can whore my money out too (though some do come from a very talented friend of mine).

:p

Ao3

Concert 🎤🍭

[afilmbykirkk]

why is march always the worst month of the school year

[bisonaari]

Ok but Kovis SLAPS

[moonlight-fawn]

the way I lowkey wish I never heard about mitski’s tour with Ethel Cain and Laufey because it truly has the possibility of changing my future

[chiyohlecter]

after my old tv breathed it's last breaths my new one is finally arriving tomorrow, can't believe it, no more strobing and even the es app is supposed to work on it

[theflyingfeeling]

Robin was interviewed in the morning television earlier today and oh god I want to hug him 🥺

and not only because his (porko-like) leopard print jacket looked so cosy and soft