#commuting fail
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Me arguing outloud with David Duchovny in my car about art and politics on the way to work this morning.
#ALL ART IS POLITICAL DAVID DUCHOVNY#I am a reasonable podcast listener#I am a sane adult commuter#fail better#fail better podcast
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Laughing because I said “Bart Rapid Transit” and not Bay Area Rapid Transit fam someone please tell me I’m funny ahahaha
#rory posts#no fr#lol homer are you aware that your son is developing a new line of commute that would rival that failed project of leon smuck?
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Public Service Announcement:
Maybe it’s old news, but you can listen to the Full Cast Audio Reading of Good Omens on Spotify. That discovery saved me from a slow workday today.
And yes, Michael Sheen and David Tennant read Aziraphale and Crowley.
Just in case you’ve ever wanted to hear Michael Sheen call Crowley “my dear”…
#or dear boy#if you have Spotify anyway this might be a nice accessible way for you to “read the book#even if you’ve read the book it is lovely to hear Michael and David reenact ist#i had to try so hard not to laugh on my commute home#I failed#and people stared at me#worth it#good omens#good omens audio#book omens#Spotify#Michael Sheen#David Tennant#Neil Gaiman#audio omens#good omens book#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#berethil
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skating... makes u very sweaty very quickly
#especially if ur trying and failing to land tricks LMAO#i just had to keep scaling back expectations like ok. lets not start with an ollie (im still practicing tho#and im getting CLOSE. i can FEEL IT.)#lets try walking the dog (<- was described in one vid as a 'beginner trick before ollie')#(it is not. in my opinion. a beginner trick.)#one video on walking the dog says u should practice tic tacs and monster walks#i can do tic tacs but am unable to practice them ill have to go to a park x_x#monster walk..... im getting there#in my defense i was trying them without looking up how to do them i just saw a short clip and was like ok ill give it a go#having the same problem with the dog walking: i cant do the full 180...#anyways. stepping back on the longboard felt like a dream LMAO#note: i am probably never going to touch the ramps. holy shit.#<- this all started because i was sick of walking and didnt want to bike (too easy to steal) so i said id longboard to commute#well. very little longboard practice after i accidentally went a little too fast down a hill and freaked out#but hey. in theory practicing skateboard should help with longboard
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im so tired of feeling like i dont belong anywhere it sucks having no community whatsoever. "it gets better!!!!! dont worry!!!!!" like no it doesnt 😂😂😂 stupid bitch 🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵. i feel like im doomed to feel alienated and alone from everyone all the time. most of my interactions with people are so superficial it just feels draining, i feel like i share nothing in common with straight women and i dont relate to the whole "uwu small bean potato" type of gay people that i mainly encounter irl. i hate being religious but i also hate being nonreligious. literally both make me so miseable. my immediate family's been estranged from my extended family since i was a child so that's out too. i enjoy talking to guys slightly more but most of them catch feelings so thats a no for me too. and recently ive been flunking academically which was like the last thing im good at so 😂🔫. and on the rare occassions i DO find someone i acc click with something unpreventable always gets in the way its like god hates me. ive been flunking at all the things i used to be good at like FUCK the rot is consuming me. im so sad and unenergized all the time i just feel like it will never get better AND I KEEP SABOTAGING MYSELF AND MAKING IT WORSE
#vent#no one follows this blog lmfao yelling at the void#bisexual fem pref assyrian girls who commute have suffered more than joan of arc (real)#its just so exhausting like nobody gaf 😂 all my ex friendships were one sided my extended family is non existent and every other#group identity does not fit!!!!! and it makes me so miserable!!!!!!#the ONE thing i was good at ive failed at that too. YAYYYYY
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having to get up a little over an hour earlier than you used to should be a crime.
#decay.txt#i am so sleepy#my commute takes up to an hour#which i failed to anticipate cause i’m used to driving from tiny village to tiny village#like wdym there’s this much traffic ?????#vent post
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#deadass do not know how I woke up at 6am/7am/8am every day without fail all throughout elementary middle and high school#sometimes attended 7:30am classes in college#went to work every day of my internship despite WFH being a thing (although my landlady was a bit of a bitch so that helped me gtfo evry da#the first four months of working full time I had a 3 to 3.5 commute round trip and I was gone from 7am to 7pm and I did that every day#And now that I moved to the city where my job is and I live 17 min away#I have to drag myself out of bed some days and it’s very tempting to wfh/bedrot#negativity cw
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and if i throw up in the exam hall. what then.
#today is off to a great start ^_^!#only got like 2 hours of sleep and even woke up before my alarm#and i have to commute by bus today ughhhh#please god dont make me stand on the bus for an hour after failing this exam. or actually help me pass first#txt
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passed my g2 yippeee
#was so scared id fail and die trying to commute to both my jobs this summer#yippeee#wish it was easy to commute to them tho ! Hate being forced to drive#rambles
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also genuinely long lost and the themes around it about change and moving on etc truly helped me so so much over the last 2 years like girl who hates change has managed to handle a lot of change mostly thanks to michigan band’s 4th album yeah i’ll say it.
#when i changed my major fall semester senior year of college and contrary to my belief it did not ruin my life … when i was so much happier#my last semester in person on campus and listening to lord huron every single day to get me through the 2 hour round trip commute#and when my sister moved out of her apartment that we shared basically during all of covid and i was able to leave with minimal crying#(there was still some crying) and#when i went to my last day of college and listened to time’s blur and cried a lot and when i finally finished college and didn’t fail#and now when i’m looking at having to move out of my parents house in the next few months and move to a different town … i know i’ll have my#comfort album….. and a new one to look forward to. anyway all this to say i’m just very grateful to this album#i love it a lot and yeah so so so grateful
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facing the consequences of my actions once again i hate it here
#i literally can barely movr my body i’m so exhuasted#i have a final in 6 hours#i don’t know a single thing because i was doing that stupid assignment yhe whole time#like i can’t learn anything in this state and i don’t even know if i can do the morning commute thing#failing the class with a 90 in the midterm .#it’s fine it’ll be fine#i need yo sleep i think i can not functiob#becayse i have another final at like 6pm#i need to study more for that too
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I think it's very very very very unfair for your grade in a class to be based on 3 tests only AND to have all three tests weigh the same.
the weight of the midterms should not be equal to the weight of the final exam ESPECIALLY when you don't give us opportunities to raise our grades or actually study the material properly outside of the slides and one million pages of reading you assign. istg I'm gonna drop this class!!!!!
#reverie rambles#my personality midterms are both worth 33%#and my final exam is worth 34%#that's all we're graded on!!!#her slides are not good and most of our midterm content is apparently are “lecture only” content so if you miss even one class you're fucke#she doesn't post recordings either so if you miss something she said you're done#YET SOMEHOW SHE HAS A HIGH RATE MY PROF SCORE#no one I've met in this class likes this prof#it sucks tho cause the content is literally right up my alley#and yes ik it's my responsibility to go to class it's my money wasted if I don't#but I have a 3hr commute and a schedule I made based on the idea I'd be living on campus still#plus I'm on academic warning bc I was too depressed last year to do shit so I'm busy with my other classes this year trying to make all As#and I'm STRESSED#I feel like I don't need to justify myself but like#I also do bc for some reason people still aren't ready to wrap their minds around depression and burnout in university past the jokes#or like the 'aesthetic' of being so overworked you live on energy drinks and tears#as if there's some moral high ground you have over people who struggle the same as you and end up failing while you do fine#it's so shitty that working yourself to the bone to pass is so normalized :')
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when the yuutsu of the getsuyoubi gets too out of hand yk—
#i wanna complain about my monday so hi tags you’re my rant victims now—#so like i was already super crabby this morning after sleeping through 2 alarms. which was the perfect start to the monday really.#i ended up leaving the house late (as you do) and when i finally got onto the train that’d take me to my workplace… there weren’t any seats#standing for an hour-long journey across the country when you wanted to nap along said journey is unwarrantedly angering y k ಠ‿ಠ#and when i finally reached my stop… the bus that i had to take to my workplace was right there at the bus stop. i could make it if i ran!!!!#so i ran… but there were these two ladies walking at a snails pace down the stairs leading to the bus stop. ಠ‿ಠ#so ofc i missed the bus by a single second. like，the bus pulled off from the stop the moment i ran up to it. not. fun.#so i was a little late to work (still within the grace period though which was cool ig)#then i was told that i’d be stationed at the worst workstation and i!!!! aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!#the freakin’ calibration check thing kept failing by 0.20!!!!!!!! it was soooo closeee but nooooo it just had to fail.#thankfully my coworker helped me with part of the workstation while i suffered. nice dude.#i kept (almost) falling asleep in front of the computer while waiting for the checks and stuff though. but i couldn’t actually sleep so :(#it’s too early in the week for this nonsense </3 i hate it here </333#and then i found out that ✨drama✨ happened at work on saturday… but i was completely unaware of it bc i’m oblivious af. truly saddening#i could’ve witnessed greatness— but noooo i just had to loop my music at full blast instead#anyways the workday passed exhaustingly. i gained my energy in the afternoon though. which was dumb bc it meant my morning was unproductive#and ofc when i was about to clock out… i got a scam call while i was in the workplace bathroom. how auspicious#and thanks to the few minutes that i wasted on that bs i missed the earlier bus out of the workplace. yay#and ofcccccc when i finally got a seat on my commute back… i’m stuck between 2 manspreaders. the temptation to kick their legs is real ngl#literally hate it here </3 i should’ve called in sick today#i just hope that i won’t have to teach the interns anything tomorrow… fingers crossed mans#i’m just. sooooooo tired. and done with this. why can’t sunday come sooner </3#inedible blubbering
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my parents are so fucking frustrating sometimes
#i got an paid internship/job offer IN THE FIELD IM STUDYING#all because i made a good impression and worked really hard at my last internship and the girls i worked with recommended me to this firm#and all my parents care about is my commute if i were to start working there#because its either 45 minutes by train + 25 minutes by car OR 1 hr 15 minutes by train + 20 minutes by FOOT#and i just dont feel like doing the 2nd option in the middle of winter but apparently i should suck it up bc 'fuel prices'#did i mention id only be doing 1 day a week?#so yeah fuel prices REALLY matter#and on top of that they only see the negatives and expect this entire thing to fail. for whatever reason#the firm designs stuff for the local government. there is no fucking way itd be sketchy. and it isnt#the fact they still want to hire me even for 1 day a week is amazing in and of itself like what job fucking does that#but they just dont. fucking think about it like that at all#no good job for my grades no congrats for this. nothing#it just feels like im their only child and im still the least favorite#why is it so hard to just say good job and at least act like youre proud
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i really think im on the upward trend mentally. much reduced suicidal thougths and i went for four days without any a few days ago. this is wonderful.
however i am beginning to stress about uni. it's reminding me of how difficult stress is and how fragile i am actually. but yeah. progress. :)
#im... Not doing well with a couple of work related things and that may drop me in hot water. same with chasing up uni stuff#if i think about handling continuity of care stuff for uni (midwifery) i get short of breath bc stress#but i have to do it so. im sure it'll be fine#and honestly? if i have to go talk to lecturers and say hey im genuinely feeling a lot of anxiety around this and need a bit of a hand#they'll help me. i know they will. they want everyone who is capable of passing to pass#personal#puddleglum hours#honestly even writing this tags out im already stressy again but yea.#i should probably find a job for while im in uni but i might just go talk to my old employers and say hey can i just grab that job again#low stress and all#am realising just how debilitating my stress levels are at times . hm . to be considered ....#because this is nothing like the stress ill have at uni but i can already feel teh stress-avoidant patterns setting in again#yknow te patterns that made me nearly fail a unit last semester? those ones#altho now i have ransom and also a better understanding of those patterns#im not sure if ill find new psych tho by then. haven't done anything about it#and that just adds stress#but anyway yeah at least my commute to uni will only be half an hour to forty five minutes . at old place it was an hour plus#so good
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MY SPOTIFY DAYLISTS KEEP PUTTING ON KILL YOURSELF MUSIC
#commuting home from work and it literally gave me asleep by the smiths followed by the priest and the matador by senses fail#love both those songs but girl thats not the vibe today….
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