#commitment issues and all
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Took a loan on a house I own
About when she panics and you’re very patient, but out of t-shirts
《 shout out to @p0orbaby, who turned this shit around and back on the fun side of the road
》 Leah Williamson x Reader
》 words count: 3k
》 commitment [noun, law]: a written order of a court directing that someone be confined in prison; mittimus
“Accept the Arsenal deal”, your agent encourages, his client’s best interests – and transfer fee – close to his heart.
“At least it’s not Manchester”, your father comments, still wishing for your comeback as saviour of your hometown club.
“What can go wrong?”, your childhood friends resonate with sincere smiles and rolling eyes at your unjustified hesitation.
Turns out, signing for the Gunners puts you in the Ballon d’Or shortlist after the first season and Leah Williamson in your bedroom.
One night you two are sharing a ride after a shameful celebration, you’re way too drunk to even remember how to walk in a straight line and she finds herself thinking way too much about your carefree giggles – if anyone asks, she just wants to make sure you don’t get kidnapped or fall on your pretty face tripping over nothing.
The following day she’s still in your house, wearing your clothes and sharing questionable stories of failed dates just to hear you laugh.
A week after she’s in your bed again, this time naked and cracking up at the worst jokes you got.
It’s not like you planned such development in the relationship with the skipper or tried to win her over with infallible pickup lines, it just happened.
Not that you’re complaining now.
Another season ends, but you keep finding each other in compromising positions at the worst possible moments, avoiding friends and teammates teasing comments with really not much effort.
Her mother, the wiser when it comes to Leah’s debatable life choices, asks about you all the time and went as far as personally inviting you over for Christmas. You declined, obviously, but made sure the Williamson family received your presents.
Your best friend demanded to have a private conversation with the blonde the first time he visited, probably embarrassing you with made-up memories and pointless threats. She took it all more seriously than needed, teaming up with him at your expense by the end of the night.
“Do you have a t-shirt I can borrow to sleep in?”
A sense of domesticity fills every interaction with the English woman nowadays, feelings you’re way too pleased to indulge but even more scared to address.
Knowing her, like a stray cat enjoying the sun and the offered food, a too-close approach or unexpected movement could provoke a runaway.
You move your eyes from the laptop slowly, taking in her freshly showered body and the wet blonde locks dropping water on the floor. She knows you hate that.
“Top drawer on your left, dry your hair before going to bed”
“What do you have against air drying?”
“What do you have against respecting my silk sheets?”
When she misses the opportunity to quip back, like she always does when your sleeping habits are mentioned, you give up any chance of reviewing the last away game to find Leah cautiously studying the furniture.
“Why are my clothes here?”
“Would you prefer to have them lying around the apartment?”
“It’s a lot of clothes”, she states, digging through all the tops and shorts and even some designer pieces stocked in the drawer.
It’s not really that much, honestly.
“You leave behind a lot of shit”
That makes the younger girl react, recovering from the shock of her things being carefully folded somewhere other than her closet – and occasionally a strategically placed chair in her room.
The cat is bothered.
Closing the laptop, you rise from the bed to slowly approach her. Cautiously.
“I just don’t understand why you put my clothes in your drawer”
“You have a lot of things here and I quite like the idea of a clean place”
“That’s not true! I–”, she fumbles for the right words to explain herself in her own mind.
You guide the blonde to the bed, sitting her down like you’d do to explain to a kid that Santa looked a lot like their overweight uncle because was, indeed, their overweight uncle; or that no, they can’t walk the dog for the last journey to Heaven.
The next words are going to be crucial.
“Leah, you basically live here”
“What?!”
Bad choice, noted.
She literally jumps so high you have to take a moment to appreciate your own cat metaphor for such spot on accuracy.
As the freshly nominated Arsenal’s captain, the goddesses and gods of football bowed to Kim Little, she shouldn’t risk her knees so mindlessly. You have to calm her down before some questionable network buys the rights for a high-budget documentary of how you managed to kill the equivalent of Princess Diana for the football community.
“I’m sorry to be the one that broke it to you, but at this point only you don’t–”
“You’re not making any sense, really, I–”
“Please, walk me through your day”
Easy.
The past two weeks have been dedicated to national duties, training camp and a friendly overseas. Not too bad, you both manage to keep in touch despite the time difference and your own commitments.
The trip back is uneventful, she sleeps for most of the flight and annoys Beth for the rest of it.
You pick her up at the airport.
Just because you’re closer than her mom and offered to.
You drive her to her apartment, but the blonde leaves the suitcase somewhere in the living room to deal with another time and comes back to the car in under three minutes.
Just because you promise to make dinner, she is supposed to refuse?
You two cook together, even if she’s still forbidden to use the air fryer and your wine accessories after the shrimps accident.
But we don’t talk about the shrimps accident.
The food is good, the company is even better. Stories are shared, memories are created with a questionable playlist in the background and laughs front and foremost. Plans are made to go see a film you’ve been waiting a year for and to find a dress she needs for a charity event.
Just because.
She takes a shower after, finally washing away the fatigue with her fancy shampoo you somehow have around in the bathroom. There’s also her favourite lotion, the delicate scent she can now smell with her eyes closed when she misses you a little too much for some reason. Even getting to the point of applying the scar cream she uses when her knee bothers, just because you know–
Oh, shit.
“Oh, shit”
“Yeah, ‘oh, shit’, indeed”, the smile on your face grows as you see the realisation crashing over Leah.
The English capitan may be a clueless idiot sometimes, but you’re already too into it to pretend not to like it.
“I basically live here”
The thought of her finally realising she moved in with you is not something you’ve indulged too much. An unconscious but lingering fear is the faithful companion of ruthless nights, lying in bed with Leah and her commitment issues.
Most nights she falls asleep holding on to you, and most mornings she wakes you up with a freshly made coffee. But she runs away and disappears for days after sharing a way too intimate moment.
By now, you know her well enough to know when to push her limits and when to let her be.
Yet, the confused and almost uncomfortable frown creasing her features hurts.
“I have to go”
“Leah–”
Without giving you the possibility to say anything to reason with her – or just protesting, for what it matters –, the footballer is putting on the first t-shirt she finds and fleeing the scene.
It’s one of your favourite tees, but maybe this it’s not the time to point it out.
“I need to go, I–”, she mutters as she tries to simultaneously put the shoes on and open the front door.
“Are you planning to walk back to your place?”
“Maybe?”
“It’s a ten minutes ride by car, you’re not that kind of athlete”
“I’ll call a taxi”
“With the phone you left on the nightstand?”
For the first time, probably ever, you sound exhausted and not amused at all about the situation – she notices it too. It’s not like she’s completely clueless about the loose attitude, the blowing hot and cold.
You look at her, never dropping your gaze as your head shakes and a tired smile doesn’t reach your eyes. You hand her the phone you picked up when she was too concerned with running away from whatever therapist’s comment was echoing in her mind to realise what she was leaving behind.
Literally speaking, obviously.
“Please, wait here for the taxi. It’s dark outside”
“I’m sorry, I–”
“We can talk at training in a couple of days”, you ease her worry with a quick side hug and a kiss on the forehead, closing the bedroom’s door behind you.
~
A couple of days later, you don’t talk at training.
She’s avoiding you.
Well, kind of. Everyone at Arsenal, even the chocolate-coloured dog Win, can tell she’s torn up inside and always on the verge of a mental breakdown or, probably worst, ready to rant an apology speech she rehearsed in front of the mirror a concerning amount of times.
The usually composed skipper is panicking whenever found around you, trying to approach and chickening out despite the mental pep talks.
“Care to tell me why she’s sleeping on my couch?”
Lia insisting on pairing for the drill was a trap, you should have seen it coming.
“She found out she moved in”, you let her know, an amused smile lighting up your features for the first time this week.
It’s easy enough to put aside the bruised ego when the situation is as ridiculous as the one you’re currently in, one can laugh at their own misery.
“Finally?”
“I think she panicked”
“Of course she did, she has commitment issues and an apartment she’s not staying in– not even now!”, she passes the ball back to you, completely missing the point of the exercise you’re supposed to do, “Why is she sulking in my house?”
“Can’t tell you, she’s avoiding me as if I signed for Tottenham”
“Don’t joke about that, she may have a heart attack”
You both burst out in giggles, knowing too well it’d be a real chance. Or Leah could find the motivation to approach you – to kill you, sure, but she’d need to be close enough to do it with her bare hands.
“Be patient with her, she’s trying”, Lia gently says after composing herself.
The curious relationship you are building with the blonde may be questionable and unhealthy for some people, but it’s filled with respect and care. It resonates with genuine laughs and whispered secrets, it cherishes with caring hands and firm holds. It’s love.
The kind of love two people give each other despite the fears and the doubts.
“I know, I’m trying too”
~
After two weeks, the most awkward goal celebration in a London derby history, and an even more embarrassing phone call with Leah’s brother, you definitely have enough.
It’s not too bad, really.
She doesn’t flee the room as soon as you make your entrance anymore, the conversations start quietly but progress in the usual easy and carefree way. Sometimes she leans into you in the middle of a night out, other times your hands find each others without a real reason if not the comforting feeling that such a simple action can provide.
It’s not perfect, but you can tell she’s trying and she has a lot going on in her head already. You just want to be there, that’s all you have ever wanted.
It’s not too bad, there’s a reason for everything.
There’s a reason for your shopping list to still include her favourite bread and that inexplicably expensive shampoo, there’s a reason for the warm coffee with your name scribbled on it in the changing room every morning.
There’s a reason for saving a spot next to the other during tactical and video sessions, on the bus for the away game, or on the table at your go-to restaurant.
There’s a reason for the smiles secretly shared in the middle of a stupid debate going on between your teammates.
There’s a reason for you to sleep with the jersey she gave you the first time you played against each other and for her to still be squatting on Lia’s couch wearing your tee – the Swiss woman makes sure to send pictures and updates every night.
It’s not too bad, but it’s game night at the Williamson, and you’re not going to put your victory streak at risk because Leah is freaking out about her housing situation and ghosting her therapist too.
“Are you planning to hide here all night?”, you ask after tapping at her car’s window.
She looks surprised, even if she’s the one parked in front of her mother’s house for the past ten minutes – lights turning off as soon as she spotted you on the side of the road.
The window rolls down comically slow, and the blonde relaxes immediately when she gathers enough courage to look up at you just to find your amused smile. Hands still grasping around the steering wheel, turning white as her cheeks get redder every second.
She’s aware she’s been ridiculous.
“I didn’t know if you’d have come tonight”, she admits.
“I can leave, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own–”
“No!”, she shouts immediately, “I mean, you’re already here. I want you here, I–”
“Good, I really want to defend my champion’s title and I can’t do it if my charades partner is playing hide and seek by herself”, you say, taking a step back to invite her to exit the car.
The teasing smile, that faded just for a moment, is back on your face and she couldn’t be happier to realise nothing really changed – you still look at her with unconditional affection and care, you still look after her heart in the most gentle way you possibly can.
“Hurry up, Williamson, I’ve been talking with your mother more than I’ve been with you lately so I kinda own her to lose a game or two”
She sighs and finally opens the door, getting out of the car with all the enthusiasm of a kid heading to the dentist without the promise of ice cream afterwards. And there is the t-shirt you’ve been looking for.
How many of your clothes did she manage to steal without you realising?
That’s why there’s so much of hers in the damn drawer.
“I wasn’t avoiding you”, she mumbles, more to her feet than to you as she drags them even slower.
It’s going to be the longest ten metres ever.
“Right, and Mariona isn’t asking me how to befriend the stray cat wandering in her apartment”
“I’m sorry, alright? I freaked out. The whole ‘basically living together’ thing just–”, she stops in the middle of the road, waving her hands around as if trying to catch the right words out of thin air, “It just hit me, I haven’t seen it coming”
You gently but firmly pull her safely to the other side of the road before answering, “I figured when Lia cornered me in the middle of training”
“I knew she’d tell you”, the footballer groans, rubbing her face, “She said you’d understand, but I was too scared to talk to you and–”
“I do understand, Leah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make you suffer for abandoning me and tricking Lia and Mario into adopting you”
She laughs at that, the sound loosening the tension in her shoulders and deep into your stomach. You may be more at peace with your love for the blonde, more confident in this relationship, but you have doubts too.
It breaks her heart to make you insecure, you who always go above and beyond to make sure she’s comfortable when it comes to the feelings and the moments you’re sharing – the future you’re building.
“Can we go slow? Like, really slow?”, she looks at you, her eyes softer and the panic fading to be replaced by a new sense of certainty.
“I think we can’t go any slower even if we tried, took you half an hour to exit the car and for us to make literally ten steps toward your mom’s house”
The punch that hits you is strong enough to make you wince.
“Fine, I think we can compromise”
“Your terms?”
“I get visitation rights to my own apartment and free access to your closet”, she proposes, holding out her hand.
“You already have those”, you raise an eyebrow at her cocky smile, “You have to promise not to air-dry your hair on my silk sheets ever again”
“Deal”, Leah smiles as you shake hands, “I’ll just have to get my own pillows for my side of the bed so you can stop complaining”
She laughs oh-so-carefreely at your stunned expression, finally stepping closer and leaning into your embrace, still holding on to you as she approaches the front door.
“I’ll text Lia I’m going home with you tonight”
“Good”, you say, kissing the top of her head, “But let’s be real, you just need an excuse to steal more of my clothes, don’t you?”
“Maybe, but it looks better on me”
She’s saved by her own mother, opening the door and happily taking in the lovely scene with a knowing grin. The older woman pushes you both inside, commenting about the delay and claiming it is a tactic not allowed – all the games are going to be played, doesn’t matter how late it turns.
“You better let me win if you don’t want to be the one sleeping on a couch tonight”, she whispers in your ear as you take the seat by her side.
“Don’t push your luck, Williamson. We’ve got a long way to go, and you still have to find out about the pair of keys with your name on it hidden in the drawer”
fine.
#woso x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#lw6#arsenal women x reader#arsenal women#here we go again#this is for the girlies with commitment issues and good jokes#love you all#but please call your therapist#my wo(rd)so
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“i’m not on marriage hill because dan said he’s scared of commitment” okay first of all this is just a little fun and whimsy it’s not that serious but also. dan who is scared of commitment yet committed to buying a house with phil before he was even ready to come out. dan who is scared of commitment yet committed to moving to london with essentially no plan. dan who committed to joint branding for years. dan who committed to going on four world tours, the most recent of which he said yes to when only being back on youtube for 3 months. dan who has explicitly used a dog as an example of something he is scared of committing to yet still obviously wants one and presumably plans to actually get one in the near future. dan who has been committed to phil for nearly half his life. if you don’t want to do something because you just plain don’t want to do it that’s fine and valid. but there is a difference between that and not wanting to do something because you are scared of it. and perpetually living in a state of fear is fucking exhausting and obviously there are times in dan’s life when he has said idc if im scared of this im going to do it anyway. if d&p really truly genuinely do not want to get married because they don’t see the point etc then that’s their prerogative and im not trying to stand up here and say that isn’t the case. but as long as they’re making jokes about/references to them being married im gonna be doing it along with them, dan’s commitment issues be damned
#like do u understand what im saying 😭😭😭😭#im not trying to say that if they don’t want to get married that’s not valid obviously they are allowed to not want that 😭😭#im just saying we shouldn’t be using dan saying he has commitment issues as the be all end all 🙏🏻#also just to clarify this is not directed at anyone it’s a sentiment I’ve seen a lot from many different places 🙂↕️#dan and phil#phan#d&p#wordvom.txt
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They made Souta a chair for 97% of the movie because they knew we'd all pass away from his beauty if they didn't
#suzume#suzume no tojimari#munakata souta#like seriously heaven help us all if we had that babysitting scene with the twins with his human form 😭#a woman's heart becomes weak your honor#men who pass the kids and animals check get all the green flags no cap no cap#but i did lowkey want to commit animal abuse bc i did NOT trust Daijin nope nope nope#madoka magica gave me trust issues man#i was having flashbacks#but anyway more towards the topic i was very ready for souta to be a jerk#and it's really too bad he wasnt because i did not need another fictional crush
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A compilation of all the nonsense I’ve been sketching for the past few months
#mortal kombat 1#bireena#bi han x sareena#sareena x bi han#doodles#my art#I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES#ALSO I HIT THE PHOTO LIMIT#THIS ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO ALL THE NONSENSE IVE CONJURED#I’m probably not going to post the rest cause wtf was I even doing#I need help committing to one art piece at at time#this is why I can’t get anything done
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Adam raised a Cain
BBC Merlin, The Beginning of the End (1x08) /// Cut by Catherine Lacey /// BBC Merlin, To Kill the King (1x12) /// Comfort Me With Apples by Catherynne M. Valente /// BBC Merlin, The Crystal Cave (3x05) /// Someday I'll Love by Ocean Vuong /// BBC Merlin, The Witch's Quickening (2x11) /// Cassandra, Florence and the Machine /// BBC Merlin, The Coming of Arthur: Part 1 (3x12) /// The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde /// BBC Merlin, The Coming of Arthur: Part 2 (3x13) /// Adam Raised a Cain, Bruce Springsteen /// BBC Merlin, The Sword in the Stone: Part 2 (4x13)
#she got Daddy Issues#ok but Uther as Adam. like he actually committed original sin by eating the forbidden fruit. but he blames it on Eve for 'tempting' him#one man's refusal to accept responsibility for his actions leading to the systemic oppression of women and sorcerers as 'punishment'#I went to catholic school#morgana pendragon#morgwen#< not morgwen but all the morgwen girlies are also insane about morgana's family trauma#morgan le fay#katie mcgrath#morgana and arthur pendragon#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin meta#bbc merlin meta#merlin web weave
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I like to think that there's at least one version of The Doctor out there somewhere in the vast multiverse who would've done anything to keep Jack Harkness by their side and never would've left him alone in the first place :((
#like youre telling me they were actually able to find someone#who loved them so much they were willing to spend pretty much all of their immortality with them#and they were just like 'nah i cant deal with all of this sorry' and then ducked out just like that??#i think the doctor has some sort of commitment issues#but then again i guess it must be pretty easy to grow use to never committing to anything#when everyone you love ends up dying eventually so#doctor who#the doctor#jack harkness#the doctor x jack harkness#mosses random thoughts
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"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#alice molloy#must preface that NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO USE THIS FOR LDPDL HATE PURPOSES#even though louis (well both of them lbr) clearly had communication and commitment issues#armand directed a play that would KILL louis all because he was self conscious that louis didn't love him enough#anyway this is just one interpretation of the 'alice rejected daniel's proposal' convo scene#cause i see soo many people ask 'why did armand say all that' (and have wondered so myself)#even though we cant rule out the possibility that devil's minion happened in the past and that this was armandaniel history tease#armand could be projecting his choice re: louis and the trial onto alice's choice here#similar to how daniel was projecting his feelings about paris onto claudia in this same episode#i just think this would make sense thematically w armand's arc this season#(ie revealing what a deeply insecure and selfish and fucked up lover he is under his guise as a 500 yo devoted and caring husband)#armand 🤝 lestat: i will love you and i will hurt you. if i cant have you then i will break you#[plays under your spell by desire] whats the difference between love and obsession and desire? do you think this feeling could last forever#c.txt#mine#'she didnt think she could trust you' sounds like a YOU problem buddy#and then armand realizes he was wrong too late and bro was SCRAMBLING#the start of something beautiful aka failmarriage!!! :D
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the way i need to fu draw this man
[4K screenshot folder]
#i'd say i would but let's be honest we all know i have commitment issues when i draw lmao#anyway i spent SO long trying to get this man all dirty and it's like he refuses. 'i'm at my gosh darn limits' < he stepped in dirt#baldurs gate 3#bg3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios
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okay we need to talk about pearl’s constant need to prove herself to be competent and a good ally. she takes offence at scott saying “don’t die… again” and insists that she’s great at the game and to have faith in her abilities (this is directly before the “we did leave you to die” bit btw). she gets amethyst thinking of spyglasses for the group and when cleo and scott tell her they already have them she says “way to make me feel useless” disappointed that her efforts were unneeded. and then when impulse kills a mob for her (can’t remember what) she gets soo defensive going “what did you think i couldn’t handle it” and quickly kills a spider just to show that she can save him. she’s so desperate to prove that she can be useful to her allies, as if she’s so scared that if they don’t see her that way that she won’t be valued. idk
#just say you have trust issues and commitment issues and abandonment issues. all the issues#our girl is already so screwed up it’s only going to get worse <3#gem and pearl being my faves is funny i have a healthy balance of overconfident and no self-esteem
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Same spouse!!!
my personal headcanon is that every player with this item is married to every other player with it
that's hilarious. accepted
#personally i just mentally lump in every npc the scoundrel WOULD marry that isnt properly marriageable#the blind pianist is part of the procession. in my heart.#ask#fallen london#tbh the scoundrel has a lot of attachment and... shall we say. commitment issues. dedication issues.#they're probably a very hard to get along with spouse and im not entirely confident half of the procession arent like#random interactions they had one night and then drunk way too much absinthe and suddenly woke up married to them.#as you do.#but also there maybe is a speck of the capacity for love SOMEWHERE in their little heart. MAYBE. if you squint#rrrrrrrreeeeaaaallllyyyy hard. and pull out a microscope. and tune it all the way up. and use a second additional microscope.#there just might be a speck in there. it's like the grinch but they just get worse instead#also i think caeru is part of the procession probably solely for tax reasons or something and they're Both petty and squabbling over it#scoundrelventures
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Glamtober 24- "Dress To Impress"
"And you're sure this'll help?" "If that simpleton doesn't take notice of you after this, then he is by far the most dense man I have ever had the displeasure to know."
Lady Laniaitte de Haillenarte assisting Hazel in getting ready for an outing with one Emmanellain de Fortemps, mostly for the sake of her own sanity watching the "Will They/Won't They" unfold right before her eyes.
Hazel Glam-
Boulevardier's Hat (Jet Black & Dalamud Red)
Valentione Emissary's Ruffled Dress (Jet Black)
Dirndl's Wrist Torque (Dalamud Red)
Woodland Warden's Skirt (Jet Black & Dalamud Red)
Loyal Housemaid's Pumps (Dalamud Red & Jet Black)
Rakshasa Earring of Slaying
Archeo Kingdom Choker of Slaying
#ffxiv#ffxivglamtober2024#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv oc#au ra#xaela#hazel kha#Reg!Hazel#elezen#laniaitte de haillenarte#emmazel#Fun fact: Hazel's red streaks in her hair are canonically from hair dye#Might've been obvious from my other shots but I still wanted to mention it#I'm now obsessing in my brain over the pre-relationship status of Emm and Hazel#Not that Emm would be that dense to see her advances#But rather his self-esteem issues keeping him from committing to begin with#“She can do better than me” or along those lines#He's still working on his self confidence after all#Some might think it's a step too far but it makes sense to me#Especially with how before he was fawning after someone that clearly had zero interest in him#As if it was a distraction from ever seriously considering a relationship#Did NOT mean this to be a dive into Emmanellain's confidence issues but here we are lmao
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Well. Fuck SM Entertainment and Chris Lee for keeping Yuta's talent from us All This Time. If you haven't already seen it, please watch his MV 'Off The Mask'. Who knew he had that kind of rock voice? Not me. I'm shocked. I don't know if he will be promoting it properly like Jaehyun but he should. He's spent so much of his NCT career getting utterly screwed over.
#nakamoto yuta#nct#nct yuta#yuta#even if rock isn't your vibe#you gotta admit he did a great job#he committed#and i love that#and he did that CONVINCINGLY#90% of kpop can't convince like this#good for him#but he's waited so long for solo debut#and it'd be so fuckign annoying if he missed out on it because of.....all the other SM issues atm
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In all seriousness I think Saiki is a really good example of a person who is passively suicidal in a relatively normal setting. Especially someone who’s young and growing up under poor circumstances (his powers, etc.) Obviously people don’t actually have psychic powers, but a big thing about the media is that at the end of the day, Saiki is really just a normal kid. Having a show where the main character is depressed, yet this isn’t the main focus of the plot or his character, makes it one of the best representations of clinical depression for me personally.
#like yeah you can be purely miserable and empty all the time#but the world does keep turning#wanting to be dead and wanting to commit suicide are different things in my mind#Saiki k is can be such a feel-good story about how ppl with mental health issues can still get happy endings#that don’t revolve around ‘solving’ the issue#and him being depressed—while sometimes played off for laughs—isn’t just a trope#it’s used to add to some situations to make the polarity between him and his friends more apparent#but it also adds a 3-dimensionality to his character. it’s important to who he is. it’s not just a joke#saiki k#fluffy writes an essay
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RealAgeAu Drabble - The Roots
I have been gone for a few days but i wanted to really mess with this tiny concept!
First Drabble (with special thanks to @spotaus For giving the first prompt) Prev Drabble Next Drabble
Technically timeline wise this is at the same ish time as the next drabble in the timeline, On the Other side. But we will just do this like this for now :D
As always, we have no beta and no edits. :D Also slight warning, I will be changing up the POVs in the drabble itself a bit. don't worry about it.
*---------------*
Nightmare looks around the corner and notices that all four are still asleep. That is good. Perfect even!
It isn't that he dislikes being with them. The oposite in matter of fact. it feels... Safe protected home calming nice. Many things but overal just nice.
It still confuses him sometimes. That they just... care. After everything. Even with them knowing just who he is.
It also does mean that Nightmare feels bad about leaving while they are asleep.
It is just that he isn't going to get another chance like this. They are very close to DreamTale and with how much magic Nightmare has in him now thanks to the many meals and sleeping a lot, he thinks he could make it all the way to DreamTale and back before being completely out of magic to use.
Which means he has his chance to do a small personal ritual he hasn't had the chance to do in a while.
It is something stupid. And Nightmare knows he should stop it.
It is just... After everything in Dreamtale happened. The deal with what he had caused and done, having been the cause of both his brother and mother dying... He had just made two graves.
He had been the point of returning there once in a while to maintain both graves and leave fresh flowers.
Nightmare just. Never stopped doing it. After seeing Dream again... He just kept doing it still. Something about the grave still showing that he still ended up losing Dream...
Or something like that.
He doesn't quite know anymore but it helps.
Nightmare manages to get to the garden of the small house they had claimed and takes a deep breath. He hadn't needed to make these jumps in a while and he had to be sure he aimed in the right direction. Just. Easy.
He holds up both hands and feels his magic start to flow out. A small sizzle as a small portal starts to take shape. His breathing gets heavier and heavier. He didn't think it would be this hard... why is it so much harder than before-
Two arms lock around him and he is lifted up. Nightmare's breath escapes in one go and he wiggles before stopping. Nightmare knows these arms by now and knows it is Killer before he even speaks.
"What you doing out here tiny boss?" a chuckle and nuzzle to the side of his skull "I thought we were passed this whole you trying to run away from us." Killer turns him aorund and Nightmare can now see the large pout on his face.
Nightmare looks to the side and wiggles but cant get free, he never can escape their hold. Instead he just crosses his arms and mutters "Just wanted to do something real quick."
Killer hums before Nightmare is pulled much closer and he is flush up agianst Killer. Killer hums much more contently before turning back to the house "So what did you want to do tiny boss? aside from using a lot of your just recovered magic that is."
Why does he feel bad? Why does he feel guilty? He wasn't doing anything bad?? Wait why is that how he thinks about it?
Nightmare tries to think it through but comes up blank. It doesn't help that being near Killer, or any of them really, calms him very quickly. He isn't used to this.
They get back to the house and Nightmare sees three more worried faces and feels worse. They had been sleeping... They shouldn't have noticed or been bothered by him not being there... How did they even notice? He... isn't used to people noticing stuff about him.
They sit him down and Nightmare considers his options... If he wants to use this one chance... maybe if he explains they will just let him do his thing for a bit?
Ngihtmare looks to the side and finds himself muttering "I just wanted to do a thing... it is honestly boring and would have been quick."
----
Horror doesn't like this place. It is the place that holds so much trauma for Nightmare. Where they thought that hurting and torturing a babybones was a good idea.
But Nightmare rarely asks them for anything anymore. And even before he became his true form he rarely asked anything for himself. If he wanted something he could just get it or do it. Now he doesn't have much of a choice and Horror knows this. They all know this.
And well, they are trying to get Nightmare to ask them when he wants things. So when he expressed he wanted something? of course they are gonna make it work.
Even if they have to come here.
Killer stands with his hands on his hips as he looks around the grey coloured forest "Wow! Lots of nothing..."
Cross sends him a glare and hisses "Killer."
Horror agrees, Killer could try to be a bit more sensitive. Normally none of them mind his brass and bolt nature but well.. They are here to visit two graves. Two graves that a six year old made to memorise his family which he thought he had killed.
This is not the time for Killer to be... well Killer.
Killer huffs and looks at Nightmare "Can you believe them?"
Nightmare shrugs but holds the two small bouquet of flowers close. "I didn't really... leave a lot..."
See? That is why they needed to try and be a bit more tactful. Killer luckily seems to notice as he rubs his neck as Cross shoots him a knowing look.
Dust remains by Nightmare's side as he looks around "A hill right?"
Nightmare seems to look all of them over before nodding "Yeah." He points into a random direction "It is that way." and he starts leading the way.
It is strange. The whole world is grey and colourless. Not the white space that Cross had had when his world was destroyed. but just, greyscale. Hell even Cross looks colourful compared to this place.
Cross frowns and takes a few quick steps to now walk on Nightmare's other side "was it always coloured like this?"
Nightmare shakes his skull and thinks for a bit. "I think... if i remember it right... the grey colour started to happen as soon as they cut mother down."
Horror almost wants to sigh in relieve. He keeps it in but this is good. It is something to help stop the guilt. At least that is what Horror is assuming why the graves are still there. guilt. But Horror won't assume.
They leave the forest and see a hill with further in the distance a village. They walk up the hill and find a cut down tree stump and two old and small graves.
Nightmare stands by them for a moment before glancing back at them with a suspicious look "No commentary?"
Horror gets it. They can be assholes.
Killer grins and leans closer "I can do one... but i doubt it adds anything." he pets the small skull before pointedly talking towards the side of the hill to overlook the forest, he pulls Cross allong with him.
Dust remains near Nightmare as a silent shadow and Horror leaves them to have room. Keeping an eye on their small charge as he looks around. Horror has no doubt that this used to be a beautiful place. some of the plants he sees may be grey now but he recognises them for eatable wild flowers.
He can see Nightmare slowly near the graves. He sits on his knees by the two and starts with cleaning both graves. Making sure no dirt or dust is on it and everything is still secure. Afterwards he removes old and, by now, dead flowers. He takes care that those aren't near the graves before returning and leaving new fresh flowers. They had picked up both colourful bouquets from another universe along the way.
At the end he just sits by the two graves as he touches the stone.
Killer and Cross had returned back to them at this point and Killer nudges Cross. Cross shoots him a questionable look before Killer just motiones over his shoulder back at the village before nodding at Nightmare. Horror cna see Cross just stare in utter confusion at Killer before Killer pulls him closer and whispers something to him.
Cross looks back before nodding as he walks over to Dust and whispers some stuff to him. Dust looks thoughtful before nodding as well.
Cross slowly walks over to Nightmare and speaks "Hey..." Nightmare looks up and tilts his skull. Cross smiles "If you want we can go into the village for a bit."
Nightmare frowns "Why would I?"
Cross looks a bit sheepish but Dust picks up "The book was general about what happened. But we figured that those people may have taken stuff or kept things that were yours from you."
Cross nods and grins "We are here now anyway. we can get it back."
Nightmare looks at the village and thinks it over before nodding "okay." he stands up and dusts his pants off of the dirt. Cross ends up softly nudging him towards the side and Dust easily takes his hand before the three walk off.
Horror shoots Killer a look "Why?"
Killer grins as he walks over to the stump "don't worry about it. Want to go with them?"
Horror continues to watch Killer before shaking his skull "I am fine being here."
Killer shrugs and turns to the stump. Staring at the dead tree.
"You wasted your chance."
Horror frowns as he just watches Killer. Killer meanwhile keeps looking at the dead tree.
Killer continues as if he is talking to an actual person "You were given a fucking miracle. We read your story you know. Know that you were only aiming for one child. Instead of being overjoyed and happy that you got two you took him for granted."
Horror sees the edges around Killer's soul waver away from their soul shape but it returns to the soul shape easily.
Killer doesn't stop speaking "You were suposed to be his mother and you failed your job. You never actually cared about him did you? Well." he glares down "You are not getting him back. Ever. He isn't yours anymore."
Horror frowns and studies Killer. No... Killer still doesn't know about the soul adoption, that Horror is sure about. Which means this all? Just Killer.
Killer holds his chin high as he stares down at the stump "I don't know what exactly is happening. But seeing as it is related to the apples it is related to you. So I am telling you now. Even if for some reason you return. Even if you are alive again. You are not getting Nightmare back. He is ours, not yours. You will never find him. You will never get the chance to hurt him."
Horror hears it in his voice. Killer, the one who hates promises more than any of them. Who had lost so much of his freedom and free will because of broken promises. Just made a promise, not even a promise. but a vow.
Horror can't say he is that surprised. After all. After everything in Horrortale and all the pressure from making sure his brother has food and is taken care of. Horror had thought he never wanted to take on a new responsibility ever again. And yet, here he was with a willing soul adoption writen into his very soul.
He also knows the other two aren't doing much better. Dust who hadn't wanted to emotionally or personally connect with anyone ever again. After having killed everyone he cared about he didn't want those relationships anymore. Yet he was the first to take this leap. Commit to Nightmare, and ironically to them all.
Cross who hadn't wanted to take any kind of oath or lifelong promise or mission after his past with the guard and XGaster. He didn't want to tie himself down. Give his all to something or some goal that just hurt him. And while it took him a while he still is devoted to this.
Horror knows they are all powerless against this. It happened but at least this time it was their choice. He thinks it is good, this way they all really knows what it means to do this. To commit to this and all it entails.
A crack of thunder and the three are suddenly on the hill with them again.
horror turns but freezes. Dust is holding a shaking Nightmare close as Cross is already cutting into the fabric of reality with his knife.
Killer and him share a look and are with the other three before they even have to say what happened. They can get an explanation later, for now they need to go.
----
They are back in the house they had been hidding in and Nightmare finally feels himself relax a tiny bit.
Thought that may also be becuase Dust is still holding him and the other's soul is steady and even. It makes his own franctic soul calm down.
Killer looks at them "Do we need to pack up and go?" he is already halfway to the bags.
Cross has closed the portal and watches as the universe patches itself fully closed again, not leaving a single mark, there is a reason Nightmare had worked so hard to get Cross XChara's knife. Aside from the fact that Cross liked fighting with it. It is a very powerful and amazing tool.
Cross sighs in relieve "We should still be good." he turns to the others and starts explaining right away "Nightmare saw Dream."
Killer curses loudly as he kciks the couch. Horror frowns and looks at him "did he see you?"
Nightmare pushes clsoer to Dust but nods.
Killer curses again but Horror frowns "Did he realise it was you?"
Nightmare thinks bakc to Dream staring at him. Awe and surprise clear on his face. The wishfullness had been obvious. The way he had moved towards him, a smile on his face that Ngihtmare hadn't seen since they were both small. Then again, the name he had called him had made it clear who he saw...
Nightmare shrugs.
Horror tilts his skull "Is that yes?"
Nightmare shakes his skull and mutters "yes and no..."
Horror nods as Killer frowns at him "both? How both?"
Nightmare shrugs again but Dust just nudges him gently with his skull nad Nightmare sighs as he quietly explains "I think he knew i was well me... but didn't know i was me me..." he toys with the fabric of the red scarf, Dust lets him. He searches for the right words "He called me Nighty.. and well he hasn't done that since before the apples. Since he still-" Since he still loved him. Nightmare doens't say it out loud but Dust must have figured out something as the hold around his tightens.
Nightmare pushes his face further into the scarf "He will probably think it means something bad... That is what everyone always said my appearance was... and he thinks I am an adult still so... yeah..." His mind is spinning but his soul is calm. in sync of Dust's. calm and slow pulses and beats. It honeslty makes him sleepy.
Dust nuzzles his skull and speaks "Well, He will not find anything and will have to learn to not just listen to rumours. As for even if he had caught you before you got to me, we would get you back." the certainty makes Nightmare pause.
Ngihtmare trries to shoot Dust a look but Dust just keeps rubbing his back and keeping him against him.
Cross nods "obviously. Just a matter of time before we would figure out where you were..." more thoughful "Next time we will have to scuot the universe first. We just didn't today because we figured no one would know about it. Srory for that. Next time you want to visit the graves we will make sure no one will interrupt. okay?"
Nightmare nods as he pushes closer to Dust.
He doesn't even understand why he still wants to visit those graves. Dream isn't even dead!
Even if... even if Dream doesn't...
Those graves shouldn't matter but Ngihtmare still wants to make sure btoh are fine. Maybe it is now just a symbol for the dead relationship between him and Dream. It just gives him a place where he can focus his grief and mourn for the family he lost.
The hand hasn't stopped petting his back and Nightmare feels himself finally fully relax.
At least he really isn't alone... His four are here now and they are still here after the close calls and learning about the graves.
It would be nice to not be alone anymore.
Nightmare lets the calming of his soul lure him to fall asleep. Knowing he is safe and cared for now.
*---------------*
So is anyone surprised i couldn't keep it short? I am not. I know myself. I have a problem and it is this whole AU that has my heart in a choke hold.
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#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#Cross Sans#Dust Sans#Killer Sans#horror Sans#I can't write short Drabbles and I am not sure if that is an issue at this point#Look at Nightmare realising he has a new family now :D only a little late wiht the program after being adopted four times in a row#Look we forgive him for this because he is six and used to being unwanted and unwelcome. It is all new for him.#Originally this was about Killer giving the stump a piece of his mind#Then it was about Nightmare taking care of the graves and seeing Dream#and then i decided to combine the two concepts and here we ARE! :D#They are still learning and settling into their family dynamics but they are making so much progress! I love them :D#Also I had the mental idea of Horror seeing what they all tried so hard to never have to deal with again and still daring to commit to#this that combined those aspects...#<- these tags probably don't make sense but i am keeping them!#Killer however did show off his undying loyalty. Boy was the most loyal and devoted and it took him a while but he is here again!#I am going to fix my links now
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the thing I always forget is that the whole “I trust oracle implicitly despite not knowing who they are” arc of dinahbabs was like. a dozen or so issues. bop (1999) ran for so many years and that particular dynamic was such a small sliver of it. but it was also the best thing it ever did for us, so to me, it feels like it should have been 50-70 issues of just that. the blind trust. the faith. the leaping without looking. what do you mean they knew each other almost the whole time.
#text.tb#those first dozen issues were so important. Babs committing war crimes. dinah doing covert ops. apokolips for some reason.#grodd shortly thereafter#you just don’t get that later on. they lost their way#bop is such a bad comic I feel bad for anyone who has ever read it but it’s also the only comic I have this many thoughts and feelings abou#you get it. you understand. we all read comics here.
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Many of us saw the Raimi trilogy as kids and so the main characters were just put in the mental category of "adults," but growing up and realizing Peter, Harry and MJ were all in their late teens/early 20s gives their behavior a lot of much needed context, actually.
Oh, they're indecisive and riddled with insecurity? Their love lives are a complete mess? They think one mistake or setback means their life is over? Well, no wonder! They haven't even beat the 25 allegations yet.
#all three of them feel like a disappointment to their father and that doesn't help#they should have been BONDING over that not fighting!#though i do think their traumas and emotional problems effect their relationships in a realistic way#even MJ#ESPECIALLY MJ#yeah she had commitment issues she had not been shown a healthy model of love#raimiverse#raimi trilogy#spider-man#mary jane watson#harry osborn#peter parker#op
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