#comic panels that make me do a double take at 3am

[stars-and-branches]

Dick canonically watches Sailor Moon

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Mildly annoyed at my body.

Probably venting. Mostly complaining. Some medical talk.

I kinda want to get a second shift job, but I just got a raise and starting this month, I will be making really good money. Like, double minimum wage money. I don't think I'll be finding that wage anywhere else with no college degree and only 5 years of office experience...

I want to put more of my books on the shelves, the ones still boxed in the living room and the basement. Go through the comics I probably have no real attachment to, maybe offer them up somewhere. Put the books I keep thinking about that somehow didn't get their boxes marked "FAVE" and thus weren't put upstairs when I moved. They're in the basement. I KNOW I have more books by my favorite author. I've been wanting to reread the ones I haven't unpacked.

But I just ate. I can't go up and down the stairs, let alone carrying 2+ boxes and unpacking them. Not to mention, some of them are practically buried in others' boxes... I can't exert myself by moving them around, either. I might be able to reach the ones by the shoe rack, but I don't remember. I can't stand up and bend over to look.

For my stomach AND my back reasons. Ever since I had the neurology appointment, during which they twisted me in ways that made my mostly-fine back start hurting at a Level of 5/10 Again, and when I said it started hurting they kept twisting and asked if it still hurt. Yes! Fuck yes, it hurt WORSE!

And it still hasn't entirely calmed down. The pain now is worse than it was before the appointment. Even two weeks later (or is it three?). Even with lidocaine patches and muscle relaxers. They want me to start steroid shots. (And do physical therapy again, but I already spent most of my PTO built up this year on Sisu's vet appointment and my teeth. I need to build up more hours for things in April, a concert road trip and taking the day of the solar eclipse off because I absolutely REFUSE to miss the eclipse, when I live conveniently RIGHT in the path of totality! I can't take 4 hours off work every week because the PT only has appointments during my work schedule.)

I need to do at-home physical therapy exercises more often anyways, but I can't lay down (let alone lay on my side for 10 minutes) after eating, and by the time my stomach's done making me uncomfortably aware of the food I've eaten, I need to go to sleep.

And tomorrow, I want to watch some panels at an online convention and go grocery shopping and clean the pet cages and shower. Maybe sweep my room and do dishes. I'm still debating if I want to wake up at 10am for a panel on something I've often wondered about (thanks in large part to the name of a roller coaster at Cedar Point), but that will sacrifice about 4 hours of sleep.

Precious sleep. Which is ALWAYS a struggle working first shift. When I worked 3pm to 11pm, I slept for 9 hours every night, no problem. (I was constantly exhausted for Other reasons, but sleep wasn't the problem.) But working first shift? I have to fight my body tooth, nail, and pharmaceuticals to get it asleep before 11pm. Half the time it doesn't happen. The meds make me sleepy, but won't KEEP me asleep.

I take melatonin, L-theanine, herbal supplements (valerian and lemon balm and passionflower and lavender), magnesium citrate, and an anti-depressant and muscle relaxer, all in the desperate hopes that I MIGHT be able to sleep for 8 hours a night. (I struggle with delayed circadian disorder. It's not insomnia, because I can easily fall asleep and stay asleep if it's within my body's natural circadian rhythm. Sleeping about 1-3am, waking about 10:am to noon.)

It isn't the ADHD meds that keep me awake because, once again, due to my stomach being a Little Bitch^tm, I can only take them when I'm having Really Good Days with my stomach. Which is, at most, about 1 in 5 days. It's rare that I CAN take them 2x a week. Let alone every day.

At the core of it, if I didn't work 40 hours a week and didn't have to ride a bus for an hour each way to and from work and didn't have to wake up at 7am every day, I'd have more time and more sleep to endure and work around my stomach's issue with Being Active After Eating, and work around Needing to Sleep or I feel Dead On My Feet.

....though with the raise, maybe I'll be able to get my temps again, and once I get my license, have the budget to start paying for gas and parking downtown...? I figure that's another $200/month, at least, but even if I break even with what my cashflow is NOW, I'd get about 80 minutes of my life back every day. That actually sounds really nice...

But currently, as it stands, my schedule is perpetually packed and my body is perpetually fighting me on doing Anything Ever. =_= Not to mention, the ADHD making it really hard to overcome that executive dysfunction...

It's just frustrating, wanting to do So Much but needing 2 weeks to recover my social battery after being at a wedding for 5 hours. I can't catch up on sleep when my duplex neighbors are massive inconsiderate assholes who blast music every Saturday morning. I want to wake up a little early to hear a really interesting topic discussion tomorrow, but it comes at the cost of spending the entire next week exhausted from sleep deprivation.

Where's the Quality of Life when the amount of life you can live is so small, you can't fit a lot of Doing Things in it anyways?

Worst of all, I've been too exhausted to write, whether that's roleplaying or fic. I'm lucky if I can come up with 5 words for my Pokemon character to tag on a blog post. I can't come up with New Things Happening very often. I really desperately want to continue some Old RPs with Dove, but my brain is fried mush. It's burnt on the outside and just a gooey mess on the inside. I can't jog it enough to Imagine New Things.

I'm not exactly depressive. I'm having fun at the convention this weekend! I'm glad for the 5 words I can scrouge up on the Pokemon RP blog! I'm eating good food and stealing every minute of personal time I can get! I'm watching Teen Titans and ATLA with my roommates once a week! I only have minor complaints with my actual job duties! It's not All bad.

I'm just frustrated that working 40 hours a week is so fucking much to work around that it's a chore all its own to try fitting my life around it without sacrificing sleep health.

Fuck capitalism.

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 062 Enter The Smuggler (SSM 49-52)

MASTERPOST

Alright, a new villain, sure, whatever...

OH. MY. GOOOOD.

Our story starts with Peter worrying over the Daily Glove ceasing activity and Madame Web knowing his secret identity, but thankfully, Philip is here to change his mind!

"... to women", he added, suddenly noticing how gay that sounded.

Spidey quickly ends up pursuing Tommy Li.

This is a new one, I like that gag!

Spidey loses his target, and reminds himself (as in every issue recently...) that he should give May a visit/a call.

This time, May tells Peter that she's getting engaged to one Nathan Lubensky. I like that surname!

Anyway, Spidey finds the bad guys, fights them, and we get the strangest cliffhanger I've ever seen:

I hear you saying, "wait, where's the White Tiger?!"

He's... in his own miniseries, in the next pages. We get a recap of his personal life until...

What in the flying fuck. Damn, that sucks.

So now, he's searching for their killer(s)... We'll see how that goes, but I'm kind of upset that this happened :(

In the comments...

...Alright.

In SSM #50, things get a quirky turn that I'm too lazy to recap (it IS 3am after all), but I have to mention this panel on the left that I find gorgeous.

Supposedly, the Smuggler ends up sent to the cops. That whole adventure was... let's just say it was an adventure.

Anyway, our hero goes home.

Hey, these comics artists are getting more showy, I appreciate it!

On this double date, Peter doesn't like that May looks at Nathan like she looked at Uncle Ben. He mentally recaps his backstory with Uncle Ben for the readers that lost their way (50th SSM issue, baby!)

As if things couldn't get more awkward, they get attacked.

There's a great interaction where Peter asks Nathan to turn off the light so he can use his full might, but the light quickly comes back.

I did think it might have been them!

When the aliens say they need to extract the secret of Dutch Mallone from Aunt May (check back ASM 200), Peter thinks to himself that "none of this makes any sense!"

Thank you, because I've been confused since the beginning of this post.

Bondage!

I...

This is bonkers, right? This is completely bonkers.

As for White Tiger, he continues his investigation and gets trapped by one Gideon Mace.

A "Fantastic Issue", as the cover attests, that was not.

#51 time?

Sure.

This is still Spider-Man we're reading.

I really like that panel though. The artists get to be a bit freaky there, good for them!

Briefly distracting me from enjoying Bondaged!Peter, Debra gets kidnapped. Oh, the horror!

Peter later wakes up, still in the space ship. He changes into Spidey and progressively discovers that things aren't exactly as they seem...

One of the "aliens" reveals that they're the same guys who were in cahoots with the Tinkerer in ASM #2... and one of them was one Quentin Beck. Mysterio! A team of failed actors, basically. Alrighty.

A confrontation starts between Mysterio, who's holding Debra hostage, and Spidey and his multiple CGI clones. It makes sense in context.

Anyway, we get a GREAT scene from Debra.

Completely unexpected, but I love it. I appreciate that the writing was self-aware enough to give her that catharsis. That's great! Alright, Mr. Stern. The game is on.

Smartly, Debra immediately flees and alerts the police.

Spidey eventually wins against Mysterio, and all's well that ends well.

Love how he looks in the middle panel.

White Tiger-wise, Gideon Mace reveals he IS the one WT seeks, and proceeds to kill him. Or does he...?

Oh well, the next issue's first page clears that up. But also, Peter's beautiful top, yay!

His outfit is very reminiscent of his costume. And given that his super hero life is being associated to his public identity in this very panel... I doubt it's a coincidence.

Quickly, everyone around gathers here. As the ambulance takes Hector, Peter says, tearful:

"I know him. I know Hector Ayala, and he's dying, and there's nothing I can do about it. Not one blasted thing."

That's powerful dialogue, even though it's a bit unearned, considering we haven't seen Hector in like 15 issues or so, and we didn't get so much depth through his relationship with Peter.

Our Gideon Mace very clearly wants to eradicate all super heroes, and this issue treats it very interestingly. Jameson almost admits he may be wrong about superheroes!

Peter follows Hector to the hospital. There, Blackbyrd, to whom Hector was talking earlier in this batch, crosses his path.

Peter looks so vulnerable in this issue, I love it.

Continuing the stellar continuity, Spidey gets along with Blackbyrd and soon searches the city for the signal of the tracer he threw at that red car. The signal he finds... comes from that one tracer he accidentally threw on a bird in SSM #49. He retrieves it. Continuity! Love to see it. Didn't expect to see that followed up on.

Spidey finds the actual tracer he wants near goons. As he beats them, Gideon contacts him and challenges him to a fight.

To show that Gideon is not a good guy, it's explained that he bombed a whole area and doesn't care about hurting civillians. Alright, girl. I get it. You're eviiil.

Spidey and various men fight, until he faces the big boss...

At least he was somewhat original, but I don't care about the aesthetics of war, so that was still kind of a dull read. Interesting ideas (dare I say, fresh?) though.

It's clear this issue has ideas. I'm impressed! It's a shame it's still quite dull, because Spidey shouting "No more killing" got my ears perked up.

In the epilogue, Hector, alive, renounces to his White Tiger persona. It only brought him misfortune, after all. For a second, I thought he would literally die, but fortunately, no. Three weeks later, Hector leaves with his girlfriend, far away, where nobody has heard of the White Tiger... Something that you sure could not do today!

He gives his amulets to Blackbyrd.

Dammit, why did this issue have to be this way when the writing was actually good?

I wonder if something tragic will happen soon in our Web-Head's life...

Feels very ominous.

I did like that the story at the end of each issue set this one up, it was smart of them.

Yeah, that's basically my issue with this... issue.

Next time: We jump back onto ASM and resolve this terrible cliffhanger! Will Spidey survive?

A mystery if I see one!