#comedy is not my strong suit

[polliwoggers]

big things coming

[icomefromthemountains]

Midnight Burger is the first “comedy” audio drama I’ve come across thats actually funny like I’m in hysterics this is so fucking awesome

[sisterdivinium]

Mother Superion barely had time to assess the large coat, the expensive hat and the aviator sunglasses all bunched up together into a messy pile located at the edge of her own desk when Jillian noticed her entrance.

“You’re alone?” She asked by way of greeting, peeping behind the nun’s back to make sure. “We should best close the door.”

“And ciao to you too, dottoressa,” Superion replied dryly, watching as Jillian went on to lock them in after looking outside for any other nuns strolling in the corridor.

“You’ll understand my bluntness in a second.” Jillian returned to her companion, gave her an apologetic peck on the lips and soon produced a magazine which she put into Superion’s hands. “You should take a look at this.”

It was a thin little rag, the sort that printed more low-quality paparazzi pictures than it did any sort of meaningful text—when there were any words to go along with the images, typos and grammatical mistakes abounded throughout the extravagant theories “explaining” the ins and outs of the love lives of all sorts and ranks of celebrities, from international movie stars to barely significant internet phenomena boasting of a couple thousand followers online.

Mother Superion might have wondered how and why a woman such as Jillian Salvius would ever have any such dreck in her possession had she not at once recognised what the low-quality paparazzi photograph chosen for that particular issue’s cover revealed: it was an aerial shot, likely the product of a snooping drone, which had captured an inner patio of Jillian’s house—and both of them, Jillian and Mother Superion herself, featured in it, standing suspiciously close together as the nun’s hand stroked the renowned scientist’s cheek.

“This has been out for only some two hours and it is making a hell of a lot of noise already. My PR staff are going completely mad. ArqTech’s social media accounts are being bombarded with either accusations of hypocrisy on my part, secretly seducing the church in the background while fighting it in public, or celebratory messages about ‘crushing the patriarchy of a decadent institution’ through ‘full contact sisterhood’ or something like it. Dozens of extremely suggestive emojis are sprinkled throughout in both kinds.”

Jillian said all this with a wealth of gestures, drawing abstract, nervous shapes in the air, squinting her eyes at every word, as if they stung her tongue with each absurd syllable that escaped her lips.

Suzanne looked down at the magazine again, flipping through some of its pages. A couple more of blurry or pixelated images where she and Jillian could barely be made out adorned a page with a single column of text in a large font over a red background that would make anyone’s eyes water; she couldn’t read the speculation contained therein.

She could likewise not speak her mind on the matter, as Jillian continued her tirade.

“And there’s more, of course there’s more. I regret to inform you that you and I have been…" She grimaced. “Blorbofied. And please don’t ask me how I know that word.”

Mother Superion raised an inquisitive, insistent eyebrow nonetheless. Jillian sighed and submitted.

“… Camila,” she admitted.

The nun pinched the bridge of her nose.

“But what I mean to say is that the internet is simply abuzz with this. We’re being shipped. People are writing fanfiction about us. I don’t know if you know, but that’s when they tell stories—”

“I know what that means, Jillian.”

Catching her off-guard, Suzanne was the one moved to confess by another eyebrow raised high.

“Well, Xena fanfiction didn’t write itself in the nineties, you know.”

Jillian remained speechless for a few seconds more as she attempted to process the information of how the woman standing in front of her, who she had seen kill scores of malevolent men as well as writhe beneath her in pleasure, who wore a habit and a veil and prayed to God every day, was the same person who would write Xena fanfiction in the late nineties and post them on the internet—some of which might still be out there, somewhere.

On second thought, the whole killing men part did make quite a good deal of sense…

“If this has been out for only two hours, how are these people writing stories already?” Suzanne asked, rescuing her from her trance.

Jillian shook her head slightly, as if to dispel the thought of a young Suzanne writing stories of dubious merit and intentions in some corner of the convent when not absorbed by training.

“I don’t know. I haven’t read any—nor will I—but they even came up with a name. They’re calling us ‘doctor superion’.

The look she received as a reply was impenetrable. Jillian couldn’t tell whether Mother Superion despised it or was somehow amused by it.

“But that’s beside the point,” Jillian went on, rather exasperated at the possibilities, “because if I’m getting hell over this, what can it mean for you?”

She reached out to Suzanne’s hands, her touch scared, her eyes pleading.

“Can the Vatican take any sort of action against you? Have I put you in trouble again?”

“This will pass,” Suzanne said to comfort her, cupping her cheek. “You’re talking about the Catholic church. They didn’t even believe women could have any kind of sex for the longest time. They won’t read into a bad picture where I’m doing nothing more apart from touching your face.”

“And the gossip? The articles are multiplying online, the stories—”

“How many stories has the Church survived?”

“Suzanne, don’t fault me for saying this, but I don’t give a fuck about the Church surviving anything—it’s you I’m worried about. If my investors drop out now, I can always find others if I need to, but if they excommunicate you and tear you from the girls—”

“Jillian. I’ve been here for about twenty years. I’ve done worse than touch rich ‘heretic’ women’s faces and they know it. You know it,” she said, looking pointedly at her. “Stop worrying.”

The scientist relaxed, if somewhat against her will. She frowned soon after, however.

“… What do you mean by ‘worse’? How many other ‘worse’ things were you involved with?”

“… A conversation for another day. I think doctor superion has given you enough strong emotions for the time being.”

Jillian laughed despite herself. Mother Superion smiled seeing her unwind.

“I won’t hear the end of this anytime soon,” the owner of ArqTech pondered.

“Hence the detective disguise in coming here when it’s thirty degrees Celsius outside?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to unwittingly inspire any more fanfics than are already being written, would I? They’d have a field day with it, no doubt… But are you very sure you won’t suffer any repercussions for this?”

Suzanne kissed her.

Jillian attempted to repeat her question, but she found that kissing Suzanne back was quite a balm to her burdened heart—after all, if there were consequences to face either way, might as well deserve them in full.

When they parted to catch their breath, Mother Superion offered her an idea.

“We can say you’ve had a revelation through me, a miracle conversion. Even the Vatican will be glad to hear of it, for once.”

“Excuse you, but I have known what I liked since very early on. You wouldn’t be able to convert me to anything,” Jillian replied with a smirk. She leaned in to kiss Suzanne again, but stopped short thanks to a thought. “Hold on. Did you already have a contingency plan at the ready in case anything like this should happen?”

Mother Superion shrugged lightly.

“I told you. Worse things. In this line of work, it’s always best to look ahead of yourself.”

“Well, I might just run with your version, then. If only to calm these people down for a time.”

“The writers won’t stop.”

“I know. They might go at it even more excitedly. But the public image of the company might still be salvaged.”

“I pray it will. You’re invited to service if you want to show off just how genuine your new quest for God is,” Superion provoked her.

“Please don’t make me,” Jillian said with a laugh, pulling her closer. “I think I prefer private prayer to this whole blasphemer-to-devoted-choirgirl-overnight AU.”

Suzanne chuckled and kissed her again, throwing the gossip magazine away.

“See? Don’t worry about the others. We can write our own story all by ourselves…”

[pocket-sized-lawyer]

offline

((aaaaand on that somehow weirdly successful, and perhaps a little bit of pity driven, note i am gonna do one more reply on the other blog then pass out

gnight!))

[that--unusual-person]

ive come to accept the fact that whenever i try to do a serious piece of art i try too hard and it looks bad. but when im shitposting i let loose and have a fuckall good time and it will always worth every second of my life because i enjoy it while it makes people laugh

[taniushka12]

drawing depressed middle aged men and crying, btw, if u even care

[simp-ly-writes]

Gentle-Fellow's

─────── · · A Smosh Fanfic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You, Spencer and your fellow cast mates Angela and Shayne all star in yet another Don't Win Mario Party, Gentlemen addition!

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, part social media au, use of dated terms as comedy, swearing, smoking, fluff, attempt at humour, cute.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 1,463

─ · · A/N: thank you so much for the ask, anon! sorry it took so long, had to brainstorm some jokes and scenarios but it was a load of fun! 😄

─────── · ·

"Oi! 'ello Chaps, I'm here with my fellow gentle-lads and t'day we'll be playing some good old fashion mario party, just how I like my liquor-" you began to intro to the camera before Spencer was slapping you gently on the shoulder, his body acting out more impact than you actually received but you still fell off the couch for comedic benefit as he put his shoes up on your supposed 'corpse' in good taste.

"Well enough with what that fellow was going on about, I must say we shall play. This game is better suited for a trio rather than a quartet- the same philosophy can also be said for working in the navy. Was much better to night-watch with a trio-"

"Ah yes, I do believe three-and-some is an adequate amount. I have yet to try four but it sounds you would not recommend?" Shayne leans forwards on the couch to fully face Spencer who adjusts his tophat while looking down at you, silently asking if you were okay while laying down off camera. You shot him a smile upwards, rolling over and returning back to the couch.

"Yes, I would not recommend such activities. Too many men with not enough places to go and scope out. Much better to have three, did you not serve to learn this?" Spencer asks with a tilt to his head, his top hat already falling off again as you hold back a chuckle to his playful glare in your direction.

"I in fact did serve! I was a leader, and I good one at that too. Took my whole group to one of the colonies, we had to strip ourselves of layers from how humid the climate was," Shayne clarified, pretending to light his cigar as Spencer lit his own, passing his lighter towards you.

"Thank you, gentleman," you responded, lighting your two cigarettes, wearing them like vampire fangs that had Angela near tears at the end of the couch. "I do remember being down to my undergarments at multiple points with my men, I'll have you know we were all in position within the ama-zone. Quite the discoveries we made there, so uncivilized."

"AYE!" Angela corrected, pointing a finger, her moustache slipping down her face, "I'll have you know my third mistress is from those parts, and she is the best. You mustn't make such hastily claims gentlemen, it is unbecoming of you!"

You nod your head, "yes, yes, very unbecoming. What are we? Boys like our sons? I can't remember the last time I had ashes in my lungs with that child's work," you continue as Angela agrees with a huff, the game seemingly long forgotten as you all carry through conversation, trying your darnedest not to break character.

"Ah yes, I think I have a son or two, I can't quite remember. I think to name them all William, a strong English name," Shanye comments once you all get... gently reminded to play the game you intro-ed over half an hour ago, you hoped that the editors would be able to find something distinguishable in these files.

─────── · ·

"I do believe it is your turn, gentleman," Spencer comments, casting you a wink. "My, I have seen to misplaced that powered-device. Does anyone see it?" Everyone starts to feel around the dips in the couch, Spencer was the first to stand, walking closer to the cameras from where you rolled to during the introduction bit and comes back with your controller, dipping it towards you with a bow.

"Thank you, my, you must be quite the bachelor, charming a fellow like me, oh my," you add with heated cheeks as Spencer returns to your side, his leg nocking against your own as you shout out in disbelief to obtaining a star you DID NOT want. "This is outrageous, I demand a re-play of my turn! I did not intend-"

"We must play by the rules," Shayne cuts you off, tilting his hat down as you stick out your tongue. Angela is focused on not winning the next mini game as you and Shayne continue your staring contest in the following two rounds before you claim victory. "Haha! I have trained with only the best, you can read a lot about another man through his eyes. Have you been hunting before? I love that wild look." Spencer jumps to respond.

"Yes, I must say, you really can tell a lot..." and in that moment you both look at one another. Shayne and Angela are both screaming over something on the screen but you both sound it out, lost in this little moment before realizing your both won... or well lost.

"It appear we have lost," Spencer says, emitting a sigh. "No, I would say we have won," you tease loving the way his cheeks heat up to his ears before you both return to the game more driven then ever to not win.

─────── · ·

Jokes have you all toppling the couch at some point from your rambunctious laughter, Angela is struggling to breathe through her sentence much similar to you over just how funny Spencer manages to be wearing sweatpants and a cheap half tux.

Spencer immediately went to protect your head with his arm as you all fell backwards with a large crash, the crew all gasped out in shock before your laughter only grew more boisterous. "I think I hear a little man again," Shayne comments, forcing himself upright to look over the couch as stars begun to be distributed.

Like snipers at position you all kneeled, your eyes only visible from the turned over couch. Top hats giving away your cover and you had placed second, falling back to the ground in fake shock and relief. Spencer teased mouth to mouth that had you pressing a hand to his mouth and narrowed your eyes at his large ones filled with glee and adoration.

─────── · ·

Angela had lost in the end in first place. you second place. Shayne in third and Spencer being the ultimate winner in fourth.

"FUCK!" and the video ended abruptly to quickly cute to her wearing a dog cone while trying to light a cigarette, only for them to keep collecting down by her neck.

"Thank you all for viewing our game time today, I have had the most splendid time today with you chaps, as I hope you all have ventured the same?" Shayne asks the now upright couch and cast.

"Yes, I was quite filled with delight," you replied, nodding your head and tipping your hat to everyone on the sofa.

"I do agree with my fellow gentleman, here" Spencer replies, clapping you on the wrist this time, very much close to holding your hand, your fingers interlacing while watching Angelas 'winning' speech.

"I hate you all-"

"Why that id not very gentlemanly of you, do you wish to handle these matters outside in more space for our thoughts?" Shayne rebuttles.

"Yes, I rather have a few thoughts to show you," Angela challenged, brow raised as she begins to roll up her sleeves, Shayne doing the same. Alex closes the video by panning upwards and the screen fades to black.

─────── · ·

🔔 Smosh Games just posted! watch now?

─────── · ·

Gentleman's Rules: Don't Win Mario Party (Again!)

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] 👍 67k | 👎 7.78M subscribers 300k views 1 week ago only the politest of games... click to read more

1,110 Comments

username01 (name) and Spencer out here being the cutest even while cosplaying as colonizers, iconic behaviour you two!

username88 09:45 "Ah yes, I do believe three-and-some is an adequate amount" - Shayne Topp 2024

↳ username70 OMG why did I not catch this earlier LMAO 🤣 ↳ username91 or what about 20:01 " What are we? Boys like our sons? I can't remember the last time I had ashes in my lungs with that child's work..." - (name) was UNREAL for sayin' this XD ↳ username70 OMG YES! 🙌😂

username22 I don't know about you but I'm feeling like I'm ready for a whole series of just this cast and just this game. I have had this video and repeat since it's come out! Please. Make. More. 🙏

username14 Literally so in love with how gentle Spencer was being with (name), dropping the persona to held them find their controller and even making sure they didn't fall hard?? 😭

↳ username91 and did anyone notice those little winks? UGH 😩

username40 this is not good material to be eating to, almost choked from laughing so hard, would not recommend.

userame66 That little exchange about seeing into one another's eyes was so poetic, like that bit did not need to go that hard 💗

─────── · ·

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt @thevintagefangirl @uniquely-haunting @maricarorp

[haikyu-mp4]

Knight in a borrowed suit

word count; 1215 – f!reader wearing a dress, inspired by New Girl

He stood you up. After taking up a table for over an hour, sitting in the middle of the restaurant and on show for everyone to watch as you tried your best to stop the tears from escaping, you’re sure that he stood you up. With an elegant dress, hair dolled up and impeccable makeup compared to what you usually did, you had been so excited for this date with a man you truly thought was interested. The two of you had gone out once or twice before and you were hoping it could grow into something, make you forget about that one unattainable volleyball player your heart beat a bit louder for. But it seemed not even people without status were interested for long. Maybe you came on too strong? Did you laugh too loud? Whatever it was, you weren’t sure you deserved this humiliation.

The waiter came over again with the same pitiful smile, and you knew she would politely ask you to leave. With a straightened back and tears at bay, you pursed your lips so she wouldn’t feel too bad about it.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, but unless you want to order, we have to give up your table,” she said, trying to speak as low as possible so all the people eyeing you wouldn’t be too entertained.

“That’s okay, I appreciate your patience,” you said, putting your purse on the table so you could pay for the wine glass you had when a voice rang out through the restaurant.

“Wait! I’m so sorry I’m late.” Oh, you knew that voice very well. Your head snapped in his direction, a small tear finally escaping the brim of your eye to trickle down and caress your smile. A very thankful smile.

It wasn’t your original date, it was Miya Atsumu.

He smoothed his hands over his suit, trying to catch his breath as he came over to your side, pressing a lingering kiss to your temple before moving to the other side and gesturing to the waiter. His hair was a bit messy, and his tie wasn’t very well tied, but he was handsome nonetheless. It was also Osamu’s suit, so it didn’t fit him like a glove. “Please excuse me and leave the menus. I’ll make sure to tip well for the wait,” he said, more professionally before finally sitting down. Your eyes had followed him the whole way, wide with wonder that he came to save you. It felt like you were in some romantic comedy.

About 1 hour earlier

Atsumu was never happy about that new manager asking you out, and much less about you agreeing to it. Could you not see he was going through a perfectly planned 14-step process of asking you out? You had known each other since the day he started playing for the Black Jackals and he felt like there was a spark between you. He found you beautiful even when you weren’t dressed up for anything special, and you always had a great sense of humour. Nothing could brighten his day quite like making you laugh, a feeling he would even compare to a perfect service ace.

So when he saw that slimy manager in the gym, laughing with his friend after seemingly picking something up when he was supposed to be with you, he had to stop himself from getting violent. “No way man, she was way too much. I swear I’ll hear her laugh ringing in my ears for weeks, and that ain’t a good thing.” your original date said to the other guy, and Atsumu took in a few deep breaths to calm down before running to the locker room. He hit speed dial and held the phone to his ear, happy Osamu picked up quickly.

“What?” he snapped.

“There’s no time to explain, I need you to get me a suit.”

Now here he was, sitting across from you with red ears and a slightly nervous smile. He had finally caught his breath when he looked at you properly, taking in every blink of your eyelashes and how your shoulders looked so kissable under the dress straps. “Wow,” he breathed out, feeling more breathless than he did after running all the way to the restaurant. “You look breathtaking.”

“Thank you, Atsumu,” you said affectionately, leaning your arms on the table in a desperate attempt to get just a little closer to him. You looked happy, he thought, but it was painted with uncertainty. “But… why are you here?”

Atsumu took a moment to answer, thinking back to what he heard before and trying not to let the angry emotions ruin this moment. “I’m taking a beautiful woman on the date she deserves,” he answered.

You didn’t need to know how he knew you were stood up, because now all you could think of was how real it felt. The universe granted you a chance to pretend Atsumu was there for you and not just because he’s a good guy.

It genuinely felt like that as you talked the night away, sharing food and ordering whatever wine they recommended as you talked about the things you never had time for at work. Your laugh was melodic to him, it’s what he imagined he would hear if he ever got into heaven. Unfortunately, you weren’t quite sold on him being there out of his own interest. So as you two stepped out of the restaurant at the end of the night, you said “Thank you for saving my date, Tsumu. You didn’t have to but I had a great time.”

Atsumu grinned, so hopelessly enchanted with your smile. “It was my pleasure, honestly,” he said, and it felt a bit too polite to you.

“If you want, I won’t tell anyone. You were probably just being nice,” you said with a forced chuckle, revealing more of your emotions than you planned.

“What?” he asked, grin diminishing as he tried to understand.

“You’re a good friend, I don’t want to assume there is anything more.”

“No!” It was now or never. He looked at you like you were the sun and he was the moon, desperately trying to reach for you and never quite making it; frustratedly. It left you speechless, staring at him with parted lips and trying to take in enough air to support your rising heartbeat. “I want to take you on more dates. I want to spend most of my time with you, actually. And I want to kiss you, fuck I want to kiss you so bad.” his eyes went to your lips and back up, and your pulse quickened even more, frozen like a deer in headlights from the sudden confession. Atsumu stepped closer, hands hovering over your hips like he wasn’t sure he could touch you. “I really really like you.”

“Tsumu,” you breathed out, a wide smile blinding him to the level that his eyes started watering from its light. “I like you too, I always have.”

Safe to say that the manager who stood you up would lose his job by next week, but you wouldn’t even look in his direction when you had Atsumu’s constant affection. Sometimes, the universe has a plan, and luckily, Atsumu’s 14-step plan was cut down to 3.

masterlist

[prettypumpum]

Title: Crossed Dimensions I Logan Howlett x Reader

Summary: You were living an ordinary life until the day a portal throws you into the Marvel universe. Trapped between an unbearable Deadpool and a Wolverine as troubling as he is charming, you discover powers you didn't know you had and an unknown past with certain heroes. As your anxiety grows in the face of this new reality, will you be able to find your place and perhaps become the hero they need?

Warnings: strong language, mentions of violence,

Word count: 1,031

"I'll be back on Monday! No funny business, no parties, and the pizza money is in the drawer by the hallway!" Wade shouted, slamming the car door before walking away.

"Finally," Logan muttered, his gaze still fixed on the windshield, his face impassive.

I glanced at Laura in the rearview mirror. Even if he'd never admit it, Logan enjoyed Wade and his antics in his own way.

"So, how’s it going at the Institute?" I asked Laura, hoping to break the heavy silence.

“It’s fine,” she replied, stopping at a red light, her eyes glued to the road.

Logan eventually broke the silence, almost reluctantly. “It’s a good place. They can help you settle in.”

“You guys are welcome too,” she retorted as the light turned green. “They could help you with your powers. Besides, they’re short-staffed. They could use someone to handle a bunch of teens… especially teens with superpowers,” she added, casting a pointed look at Logan.

He clenched his jaw. “That’s all behind me.”

In the rearview mirror, I saw Laura’s face fall slightly, as if she regretted bringing it up. A bitter silence settled, heavy with memories. I knew that as soon as we got dropped off, Logan would probably head straight to a bar to forget.

“How about we order a pizza?” I suggested to the two mutants in the front, hoping to lighten the mood.

They glanced back at me in the mirror, a fleeting smile on their faces.

A few hours later, we were all sprawled out on the couch, surrounded by pizza boxes scattered on the coffee table.

“Comedy or horror?” Laura asked, the remote in one hand and a slice of pineapple pizza in the other.

“Put on whatever you want,” Logan replied, cracking open another beer.

She looked at me for my opinion, and I just shrugged with a smile, content with the relaxed vibe. She scrolled through the options on the screen. Beside me, Logan was relaxed, his dark eyes fixed on the TV. The white T-shirt he was wearing suited him surprisingly well, and I could feel his arm brushing against mine, an innocent but electrifying touch.

With each quick glance at him, memories of the bar came back to me, and I found myself imagining what might have happened if Wade hadn’t interrupted us. These thoughts wrapped me in a warm haze.

Finally, Laura settled on a horror movie. *Scream*, a classic, perfect for a pizza night. But I was having a hard time focusing. My attention kept drifting back to Logan, sitting so close.

“These kids are so stupid,” Logan muttered, taking a swig of his beer.

“That’s what everyone says watching horror movies, but I’m not sure teenage me would’ve done any better,” I replied, grabbing another slice of pizza. “Between rehearsals and dance classes, I barely had time to sleep. Killing someone… well, that was even less likely.”

He smirked. “That explains so much.”

"Right? So, tell us about teenage you in Canada, back when there was no electricity or running water," I teased with a playful smile.

Laura was watching us, a smile on her face, finding our exchange more interesting than the movie. Logan and I exchanged a few knowing smiles before she stood up.

“I’m gonna grab a soda,” she said, slipping into the kitchen and leaving us alone in this intimate moment.

"She’s great," I said, watching the door she had just disappeared through.

“Yeah,” he replied, his face hardening, his thoughts clearly elsewhere.

“Hey,” I said, placing my hand on his, reminding him of our promise from the bar.

He looked up at me, surprised. “I’m okay,” he murmured. “But… sometimes, it all just gets to be too much.”

I nodded, feeling the depth of his unease.

“I know.” My thumb brushed his hand softly. His gaze, dark and intense, held secrets he dared not share.

I looked up, and our eyes met. His usually guarded stare softened, revealing fatigue and invisible scars. He broke the silence, his voice low:

“It’s rare… to feel this good.”

He squeezed my hand gently, as if to reassure himself that this moment was real.

Our gazes locked, the silence between us loaded with unspoken emotions. I felt almost trembling under his look. Logan, usually so distant, was looking at me differently, with a glimmer I’d never noticed before.

“Hey,” Laura said, coming back from the kitchen and breaking the spell between Logan and me. “Sorry, but I have to go,” she announced, holding up her phone.

“Everything okay?” Logan asked, his face concerned.

“Yeah, I totally forgot my friend Taylor was supposed to help me with my shopping.”

Logan nodded with a murmur, but his skepticism was clear. “Take some pizza with you; there’s too much for the two of us,” I said, quickly getting up to pack some for her.

“Thanks,” she said, grabbing the boxes. “Tonight was fun… we should do it again sometime.” I nodded, smiling, holding the door open for her as she struggled with the boxes. “See you soon.”

Logan and I, now alone, stood there, our eyes fixed on the closed door for a moment. “That was a lie, right?” Logan asked.

“You never lied to go see your crush?” I shot back with a mischievous smile.

“So, you were one of those bad girls who lied to mess with boys?” he replied, his intense gaze locked onto mine.

My breathing quickened, my body warming. My breath was short; I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him and kiss him.

“I… I need to go to the laundry room,” I said, unable to hold his gaze any longer, using the excuse of a basket of dirty laundry left out.

He nodded, seeming to collect himself, and watched me pick up the basket as I fled. “I’ll take a shower,” he said as I darted out of the apartment.

When I got to the hallway, I realized I’d forgotten the detergent in my hurry. Returning to the apartment, I walked straight into Logan, shirtless, coming out of the bathroom.

“Sorry… I forgot the…” I was unable to look away from his hairy chest and toned muscles.

[atzjieun]

undercover

summary | that time yunho committed identity fraud

circa | september 2017

contains | 2.7k words, fluff, comedy, brief mention of taking medicine

notes | taking a break from all the jiwoo drama lmao. i was gonna wait a bit longer to post this but i received some very great news for something irl so i'm posting it now as a treat 😁

taglist | @teezingsiyeon @moonkyeom @itzynabi

Jieun shifted her weight from foot to foot, anxiously watching the clock above as the hands moved. The pit in her stomach only grew larger with every second that ticked by, dreading the moment the clock struck four.

Maybe she should’ve just called her brother. There was no world in which Jihoon wouldn’t have picked up and dropped everything the moment she said she needed him. 

But that was exactly the issue. She knew how busy he was, and the idea of dragging her brother away from school or work to attend something as insignificant as her parent-teacher meetings would’ve only made her feel worse. She couldn’t keep relying on him for everything, though she knew her teacher wouldn’t be very happy about yet another missed meeting, and Jieun was running out of excuses.

The sound of the classroom door sliding open made her jump. Jieun stood up straight, shoulders tense as her teacher stepped out of the classroom with a notebook in hand.

“Ah, yes, Jieun,” she said, catching sight of the girl. She watched as her teacher’s eyebrows furrowed, looking around the hallway. “You said that your older brother was coming, didn’t you?” 

Jieun stared at her blankly, though quickly broke out of her trance and gave a brief nod. 

“My brother…” she trailed, glancing over her shoulder. “He’s coming. He’s just- uh, he’s running a bit late.”

Her teacher glanced up at the clock, a small sigh escaping him as she flipped through her notebook, writing something down. 

“Do you have a rough idea of when he’ll be arriving?” she asked, a slight sharpness in her tone. “I have many other appointments today.” 

Jieun chewed on her lower lip, eyes moving to the ground. She remained quiet for a short period of time, searching through her mind for any possible excuse she could use to explain her brother’s absence. Finding nothing, she took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, about to confess when a voice behind her sounded first.

“Sorry I’m late! Traffic was heavier than expected.” 

Her head snapped up, looking over her shoulder to the source of the voice. Jieun’s eyes widened as she spotted Yunho’s tall figure making his way down the hall. The boy was fully dressed in a suit, his hair neatly combed and styled, walking in long strides before eventually stopping beside her. 

Yunho smiled at her teacher as he extended his hand. “You must be Ms. Yoon. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

For the first time ever, Jieun saw a smile spread across her teacher’s face as she accepted Yunho’s handshake, bowing forward slightly. 

“And you must be Jieun’s older brother,” she greeted. “The pleasure is all mine. Shall we start the meeting?” 

As though he were used to the routine, Yunho immediately followed her teacher into the classroom, Jieun trailing behind after processing what had just happened. She took a seat beside Yunho at the teacher’s desk in silence. While her teacher rummaged through some of her cabinets, Jieun took the opportunity to lean over and whisper into Yunho’s ear, covering her mouth with her hand.

“What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like? I’m here for your parent-teacher meeting.”

The two sat up straight as her teacher opened what was presumably Jieun’s file. Her eyes scanned over the document for a couple seconds before she looked up, turning toward Yunho.

“It’s clear that Jieun is a very strong student. She excels on all of her exams and big projects, typically exceeding expectations and gaining full marks.” 

Jieun’s eyes widened at the sudden praise, heat rising to her cheeks as Yunho glanced over at her with a fond smile, gently nudging the girl with his elbow. Before either of them could say anything, however, her teacher spoke up again. 

“However, Jieun rarely completes her daily homework checks and often turns in her smaller assignments late,” her teacher said. Jieun could practically feel the disappointment radiating off of her. “These small assignments may not be worth as much as exams, but they add up over time. Furthermore, it indicates a lack of consistency in her work habits that may negatively impact her in the future.” 

She could feel the two sets of eyes on her, though Jieun’s gaze remained on her lap as she played with her thumbs. 

“I understand that you are training to be an idol?” She didn’t verbally respond, simply giving a small nod while continuing to avoid her teacher’s gaze. “The information you learn may not pertain to your chosen career path, but the skills and work habits you gain from consistently doing your homework can be transferred into any field, even if it’s not academic. These assignments teach you about discipline and consistent effort. I hope to see improvements in this area in the future, Jieun.”

Jieun continued to stay quiet, glancing up at her teacher for a moment before looking back down and nodding. 

“Is Jieun currently living with you?” her teacher asked, turning her attention to Yunho. The boy nodded seriously. 

“Yes, she is currently living with me.” 

Her teacher quickly wrote something down in her notebook. “It’s really better if Jieun herself takes initiative in her school work, but if there’s any instance where she needs a bit of reminding-” 

“I’ll be sure to be there when she needs me,” Yunho finished, a smile on his face as he gave a reassuring nod. 

Satisfied, her teacher noted one more thing down before placing her pen on the desk, clasping her hands together as she turned her attention back toward Jieun. 

“Jieun, would it be alright if your brother and I talk privately for a little bit?”

The girl nodded as she stood up. She gave a small bow to her teacher, still avoiding eye contact before turning around and walking toward the exit of the classroom. 

Closing the door behind her, Jieun leaned back against the wall and let out a huge exhale. She looked over her shoulder, peering through the window of the classroom to see Yunho and her teacher in the middle of conversation. The boy seemed comfortable, too comfortable considering he was quite literally committing a crime. 

Turning away, Jieun pulled out her phone to check if she’d received any messages. There were a couple from her group chat with the other trainees, one from her mom, though the most recent message came from none other than her actual brother.

Yerin-unnie’s boyfriend: Eun-ah, don’t forget to take your meds

Yerin-unnie’s boyfriend: Yerin says she misses you btw

A soft chuckle escaped Jieun’s lips as she typed out a response. 

Me: tell her i miss her too

Jieun quickly turned her phone off before slipping it back into her pocket. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms, enjoying the peace and quiet of the hallway. A group practice was scheduled right after the meeting was supposed to end, so Jieun took the time she had to relax before she’d be thrust right back into the loud and chaotic environment that the practice room often provided. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, though the sound of the door sliding open broke Jieun out of her relaxed state. Blinking, she turned toward the door to see Yunho stepping back out into the hallway, turning to her with a smile. 

“That went well,” he commented, gesturing toward her. “C’mon, we have to get to practice.” 

Yunho waited for her to catch up before he started walking, the two making their way out of the school together. It wasn’t until they were well away from the classroom and her teacher that Jieun spoke up. 

“How did you find out about my parent-teacher meeting?” she asked curiously. 

The older boy glanced down at her, letting out a small chuckle.

“You left the sign-up form on the kitchen table a couple days ago,” he explained. “There was no name written down, and I remembered you mentioning that Jihoon was busy for the next couple weeks because of an internship he was doing, so I put two and two together.” 

Despite still being dumbfounded by the whole situation, Jieun slowly nodded as they approached the bus stop. 

“And you…bought a suit to make a good impression…?” 

He laughed, shaking his head. 

“I borrowed it from my dad. Told him it was for a performance.” 

“You’re a good actor,” Jieun said, giggling slightly. “I think you made a good impression. I’ve never seen my teacher smile like that.” 

Yunho gave a small side shrug, trying to act nonchalant, though it was clear his ego was ever so slightly boosted by the compliment. 

“We should hurry though,” he said. “Don’t want to keep the others waiting now, do we?” 

Conveniently, the bus pulled up to the stop shortly after he spoke, stopping in front of the two. Jieun boarded first, tapping her bus card before walking toward the middle of the bus and sitting in an empty seat with Yunho following close behind. She stared at her reflection in the window as the bus took off, a small sigh escaping her lips.

Eventually, Jieun’s gaze shifted toward Yunho’s reflection, the boy turned the other way as he watched the moving traffic.

“Oppa?” she spoke softly, though the older boy immediately looked toward her. His eyebrows raised slightly as he gave a small hum. The corners of Jieun’s mouth tilted upward in a small smile. “Thanks.” 

Yunho blinked at her, his mind taking a moment to register what she meant before his own smile spread. He chuckled, ruffling her hair gently. 

“Like I said in the meeting, Eunnie: I’ll be there when you need me.” He shifted to sit slightly closer. “You can take a nap on my shoulder if you want. I’ll wake you up when we’re at our stop.” 

Jieun hesitated for a moment, though after looking up at the boy and seeing his warm gaze, she accepted his offer and rested her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes, Jieun allowed herself to relax as the bus continued to move, knowing Yunho fully meant everything he said. 

BONUS #1: 

Jieun and Yunho stepped into the practice room together, where the other trainees were already warming up. 

The first to notice them was San, who greeted the two with a smile as he waved from the corner where he was sitting.

“Hi Eunnie, Yunho!” 

Jieun smiled as she waved back at the boy while the other members turned toward the two. One by one, she watched as confused expressions crossed each of their faces as they took in the older boy’s outfit. 

“Sorry for being late-” Yunho attempted to apologize, though was quickly cut off by Mingi.

“Why are you wearing a suit?” 

Without missing a beat, Jieun looked over at Mingi with a completely neutral expression as she spoke.

“Yunho-oppa committed identity theft.” 

The initial confusion from the members mixed with curiosity and questioning as they turned toward the aforementioned boy, who looked toward Jieun with a look of betrayal.

“You did what?” Hongjoong asked, crossing his arms as he looked at the boy with a stern expression. 

“Yunho-oppa came to my school and pretended to be Jihoon for my parent-teacher meetings,” Jieun explained bluntly.

“In my defense, your teacher only asked if I was your older brother,” Yunho said, raising his hands in the air. “I just never specified which one.” 

This earned a few snickers from the younger members, the only person in the room not amused by the story being their leader, who face-palmed as he shook his head.

Seonghwa shrugged, nudging his friend. "You know, he’s technically right.” 

“Please don’t entertain them,” Hongjoong said, rubbing his temples. After a few moments of what seemed to be contemplating his life choices, the older boy eventually let out a sigh. “Just get changed, guys. We’ll start when you’re back.” 

The two nodded as they moved to leave, though before doing so, Yunho reached over and ruffled the girl’s hair for the second time that day. He did it rougher than before, purposefully trying to mess up her hair as she swatted his hands away. 

The other members watched in amusement as Jieun made her escape, running out of the room with Yunho following close behind.  

BONUS #2: 

Yunho glanced over his shoulder, watching as Jieun swiftly exited the room. Once the door was closed, he turned back to her teacher with a serious expression, trying his best to hide his nervousness as she wrote something down. 

After a moment of silence, Jieun’s teacher put the pen down. Her gaze moved to the exit, landing on the small portion of Jieun’s head that could be seen through the classroom windows. She let out a sigh as she turned back to Yunho.

“I know that she’s an idol trainee and doesn’t have much time to connect with her peers outside of school, but even during school hours, I rarely see her with other people.” The boy’s eyebrows raised slightly, though he opted to continue listening. “She’s always off by herself in her own world. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little concerned for her social development.” 

Yunho slowly nodded as he contemplated his response. 

“Jieun has always been a really shy person,” he admitted with a small chuckle. “It took her weeks to start talking to m- her fellow trainees, as I was told.” 

“My apologies if this is too intruding, but would you happen to know what her relationship with the other trainees is like?” Jieun’s teacher asked. “She does lack social interactions at school, but it would ease my worries to know she is at least maintaining healthy friendships amongst people her age elsewhere.” 

Once again, Yunho was slow to respond, carefully picking each word before he answered her question. 

“The other trainees are generally around the same age. Jieun is the youngest, but the age gap is no more than three years from the older members. She was actually the second trainee to join the company and originally had a reputation for being cold and unfriendly.” The corners of his mouth tilted upwards into a small smile. “Though eventually, everyone realized that her reputation didn’t truly represent who she was as a person. She’d help the new trainees when they were learning and quietly cheer everyone on from the sidelines, so it didn’t take long for people to figure out that she wasn’t who they originally thought she was.

She’s one of the trainees who have had the most improvement during her time at the company. Her fellow trainees adore her and they all want her to succeed. If I had to describe her, I would say that she’s the beating heart of the team.”

Realizing he was rambling, Yunho cut himself off as heat rose to his face. He cleared his throat, nodding. 

“But anyways, I don’t think you need to worry about her friendships regarding her fellow trainees.” 

Jieun’s teacher nodded in agreement.

“It’s clear that Jieun receives a lot of love and support in her trainee company,” she said. A smirk crossed the teacher’s face as she leaned back in her chair. “Considering how one of them would go to the lengths of impersonating her brother to attend her parent-teacher conference.”

Yunho’s smile dropped as his eyes widened. He opened his mouth to splutter out a response, though Jieun’s teacher simply raised her hand to silence him. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t report this to administration,” she said, chuckling. “The main goal of these meetings is to give updates about the student’s progress to their closest family, and you clearly seem to be similar enough.” Jieun’s teacher picked up her pen, pointing to Yunho’s chest. “Though next time, maybe don’t forget to take off your ID card, Mr. Jeong.”

Yunho looked down, face flushing when he noticed the card he’d forgotten to take off his jacket, displaying his picture and full name. He quickly pulled the card off, stuffing it inside his pocket. 

“Everything I said about Jieun was true today. She’s a very bright student, but everyone needs help sometimes, and I hope you’ll be there for her when she does.”

Yunho nodded firmly, making direct eye contact with her. “You have my word.”

Jieun’s teacher smiled as she extended her arm, which Yunho instantly accepted as they shook hands. After saying a brief goodbye, he turned and started making his way out of the classroom, the previous words echoing in the back of his mind. His word might not have meant a lot, but he’d do his best regardless to stay true to the promise he’d made and prove he meant what he said.

[certainlynotasimp]

HIIIII! Okay so this idea has been living rent free in my head. But what if Miguel was away on a mission, and Sunny saw it as an opportunity to go ahead and jam out with headphones/earbuds/AirPods. Sunny’s a pretty good singer she just.. doesn’t like bringing it to people’s attention much. And I recommend listening to Can’t Tame Her by Zara Larsson. Sunny’s having the time of her life singing and dancing. Miguel gets back, and Sunny’s still jamming out until she eventually turns around and practically screams seeing him just standing there and all embarrassed 😂 what happens after that is completely up to you.

Dance With Me

(Miguel O'Hara x Female Reader)

A/N: I'm BACK!! lol. I'm so sorry for the long wait on your request and I absolutely love this song!! Such a bop. I honestly changed some details of your request and I added some details that my lovely Latinx spiderlings mentioned.

A/N: If you guys wanna read some more of my stuff, check out my master list. I have closed the tag list, but if you guys want live updates, a meeting place for simps, and maybe get your ideas added to fics, then come join the discord!

WARNINGS: Grumpy x Sunshine, Female Reader/ Female Pronouns, Pregnancy, Fluff, Embarrassing situation, and Deepl Translated Spanish ((Y'all let me know if the translations are better with this new site some of y'all recommended.))

~~~~~~~~~

“¿Segura que vas a estar bien sola, mami?” Are you sure you're going to be alright on your own, mami? Miguel mumbles as he looks at his love standing by the oven. His eyes cautiously watch her hips sway softly as she hums softly to herself and makes her French toast. Her swollen stomach makes her movements seem more imbalanced.

“I’m sure, Miggy.” The heavily pregnant woman reassures her love. The woman turned back to her worried lover as he stood by the door in his blue spider suit.

Hitting the third trimester of pregnancy has led to Miguel becoming more of a protective force than he was before. He already had to fight his stubborn little sunshine to be benched during the first two months of her pregnancy, which resulted in the compromise of her moving into this apartment to appease both of them. Now in the sixth month of bringing this new little life into the world, the man had to basically be pried away from his apartment in order for him to go on missions outside of his dimension.

For example, if there wasn’t another Spot on the loose again, Miguel would be content with staying home with his girls and gorging on the trashy romantic comedies that she kept playing on repeat. Of course, he would never voice his disdain for the films. Not when he gets to see her eyes light up in delight as her voice floods the apartment in laughter.

“You really don’t need to worry about us, mi amor.” She calmly assures him as she wraps her arms around him. Her bump made it difficult for her to embrace him, but the little flutter of feet against his abdomen made up for it. “We always know that Papi will always keep us safe.” She mutters as her bright smile cuts through Miguel’s heart.

Cupping her face, Miguel whispers softly, “¿Qué hice para merecerte?” What did I do to deserve you? He presses gently kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and lips as she giggles at the feathery light affection. Miguel knees down and pressed a firm kiss on her bump while whispering, “Pórtate bien, Estrellita. No quiero que le causes muchos problemas a tu mami mientras no estoy.” Be good, little star. I don't want you to cause your mommy too much trouble while I'm gone.

A strong kick meets Miguel’s lips unexpectedly as he chuckles at Maria’s attempt to tell her father to get on the road. 

Standing up, He gives his love another kiss before heading out. As he swings away, the pregnant woman looks down at her bump and mumbles.

“Now that Papa is gone, we can have some fun.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Lyla, si vuelves a mandarme a algún sitio así, te pondré en el monitor de bebés de Mayday.” Lyla, if you ever send me anywhere like that again, I will put you into Mayday's baby monitor. Miguel seethes as he limps out of the portal with the rest of the team.

The mission was a lot more difficult than the team was briefed on. They knew that The Spot was involved, but Lyla didn’t mention Doctor Octavious and a Prowler would be there as well. Miguel had handled the two while the others worked to capture The Spot, but the task wasn’t easy as the large claw marks along his sides and heavy bruising proved. Luckily, they managed to capture the enemies, but everyone receive a significant amount of damage. 

Lyla laughs as she plays with some weird virtual version of a toy Gwen had yesterday. The annoying popping of the rubber bubbles causes Miguel’s already sour mood to worsen as she muses, “ No need to fuss, Miggy. You guys are still alive and ready to kick ass tomorrow.”

“I don’t think being alive is a good thing right now…” Pavitr groans as he plops onto the floor as Hobie grumbles beside him about his destroyed guitar.

Jess rolls her eyes as she plops herself in Miguel’s normal spot by the monitor and throws Miguel a knowing glance.

“Why don’t you head on home, Migue?’ Jess offers which causes him to look at her a little surprised. “You need to be home with Sunny. Believe me, I understand how uncomfortable she is right now.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.” Miguel argues, “What about your-”

“My husband can handle Little Bit while I finish this report.” Jessica shuts him down as she shoots him a familiar glare he recognizes from his own mother. God, he hopes his sweet sunny doesn’t develop a glare like that. She would have him running for his money.

Miguel silently thanks his friend as he leaves, opting to swing home instead of the portal. Deciding to pick up some takeout from her favorite restaurant on the way.

~~~~~~~~

As Miguel approaches the door to their apartment, the soft buzz of pop music filters through the thick walls of the building. His eyebrow quirks up as he softly opens the door. The young black and white mass of fur greets with silent chirps as Miguel shushes him. He closes the door quietly as he kneels down and scratches behind the cat’s ears. 

“¿Qué hacían nuestras chicas mientras yo no estaba, Moony?” What were our girls doing while I was gone, Moony? He coos as he stands up and places the bags of food on the counter.

Moony runs off as the soft voice he loves fills the apartment. 

“Don't need no one, she can dance on her own

Club is closin', but she ain't goin' home

Night is still young, where the hell will she go?

Nobody knows nobody knows”

The hyper-pop music boomed from the sound system as Miguel rounds the corner and his face splits into a bright grin. His red eyes soften as he watches his pregnant love freely dancing around the living room with a pint of ice cream in her hand. His worn sweater consumes her frame as she twirls and blurts out lyrics.

“Can't tame her magic energy

She's so magnetic, pulls you in every time (every time)

Every time (every time)

But she don't care, she gonna do what she wants (she wants)”

Watching her ridiculously move with a large bump almost made Miguel chuckle, but he didn’t want to disturb her yet. He waits for her to twirl one more time before stalking toward their bedroom. 

She continues her private concert as she shoves a spoonful of ice cream before using it as a microphone. The utter giddy from these past few months filled her being as she sings out.

“And you can't tie her down

When the night comes around (around)

Said she gonna party all night (all night)

And you can't change her

Can't blame her, can't tame her”

A pair of warm arms wrap around her waist as her heart stops in her chest for a moment before a warm purr rumbles in his chest. She relaxes as her purring lover mumbles, “Parece que tuviste un día divertido, mi amor.” You look like you had a fun day, my love.

“I did.” I giggle as she can feel his hips sway to the music with hers, playfully dancing with her. His warm hands gently rub her stomach as their little one happily greets her father with little kicks. “She’s gonna be ready to fight crime by the time she gets out of there.” She jokes through a particularly hard kick. The mother was now sure that Maria is gonna be as strong as Miguel with the bruises she was starting to have.

“Bien. Quiero que aleje a todos esos niñatos de ella hasta que tenga treinta años.” Good. I want her to fight all of those little boys away from her until she's thirty. Miguel grumbles as he thinks about his little girl possibly dating little punks in the future.

“Papi, she’s not even here yet and you’re already so protective.” She giggles as she turns around in his arms. Her eyes light up as she’s met with her grumpy boyfriend’s bare chest and low-hanging joggers, but a pout appears as she sees the large claw marks and bruises running on his sides.

“Por supuesto que sí.” Of course, I am. Miguel smiles mischievously as the music transitions into a familiar upbeat tune that causes his love’s concern to fade to amusement. “Tengo que proteger a mis hijas y mostrarles cómo los hombres de verdad tratan a sus hijas.”  I have to protect my girls and show them how real men treat their girls.

A whirlwind of laughter fills the room as Miguel starts to pull her into the Cumbia. Her moments of imbalance missteps were soothed by his strong hands as he catches her. The couple spend their evening in each other’s arms dancing and loving their growing family.

~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist:

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[hollow-point-heart]

I finished it, it made my flatmate chuckle so success. God bless writers duet for having a comprehensive ui but fuck them for not letting me have more then like five projects open at once.

One day I'm going to get halfway through a script and just throw my laptop out a window

[acknowledge-reigns]

Swipe Right | Roman Reigns x Black!fem OC (18+)

Description: Roman and Iris go to dinner and get to know each other more.. Intimately.

Chapter: 5/6

Word Count: 2065

Warnings: Mention of death of a loved one, flirting, teasing, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, mention of spanking, very mild depredation, honorifics, fingering, dirty talk, praise.

This is set in an AU in which the og bloodline reunited before wrestlemania 40 and Roman retained. As always my stories are about Roman, not Joe. While there is not smut in the first couple of chapters, there will be in others. This is very much an 18+ BDSM based romance with some comedy thrown in there. You have been warned.

Roman arrives at Iris's house in a sleek, black car, driven by a chauffeur. He steps out of the car and rings her doorbell. When she answers he hands her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, a small smile on his face. He knew her favorite flower from going back and studying her tinder profile. He was dressed in a suit that made him look like the walking billion dollar check he claimed to be.

"These are for you," he says, holding out the bouquet of white roses.

Iris takes the flowers, surprised that he knew her favorite. She looks at him, trying to hide her surprise.

"Thank you," she says, her voice a little softer than before. "You didn't have to do that."

Roman shrugs, a hint of a smirk on his face. "I wanted to," he says simply. "I know you like white roses."

He looks past her, noticing Imani, Amira and Jax standing in the background grinning. "And who are these lovely ladies?" Roman asks, a charming smile on his face.

"This is my daughter Imani," Iris says, gesturing to the teenager glaring daggers at him. "And this is Amira, my youngest." she adds gesturing to the smaller girl in the Disney Princess shirt.

Imani looks at Roman with a critical eye, sizing him up. She crosses her arms and gives him a skeptical look.

Roman raises an eyebrow at Imani's glare, but he doesn't let it faze him. Instead, he turns his attention to Amira, who is looking up at him with wide, curious eyes.

"And how old are you, Amira?" he asks, his voice gentle.

Amira smiles shyly "I'm nine," she says, her voice small and sweet. He had sons roughly her age.

Roman turns his attention back to Imani, who is still glaring at him.

"You must be the overprotective one," he says, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Imani raises an eyebrow at his comment, clearly not amused.

"And you must be the guy who hurt my mom," she retorts, her voice laced with hostility.

Iris shoots Imani a warning look.

"Imani Rosé, be nice," she says firmly. "Roman and I have made up."

Imani rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything else. Roman can't help but chuckle at the interaction.

"Don't worry, I understand where she's coming from," he says to Iris. "She's just looking out for her Mom. Besides, I have a daughter her age. Not the first time I've gotten that glare and probably won't be the last." Roman chuckled lightly.

Roman smiles at Imani, his expression warm and genuine.

"It's nice to meet you, Imani," he says. "You sound like a really strong and smart young lady."

Iris turns to Jax, who is standing next to Imani, beaming with excitement.

"And this is my sister Jax," she says, introducing her. "Jax, this is Roman."

Jax's eyes widen as she looks at Roman, and she can't help but let out a small gasp. "Oh my gods, he's even hotter in person," she blurts out before quickly covering her mouth with her hands.

Roman can't help but chuckle at Jax's reaction, amused by her enthusiasm.

"I'm glad I meet expectations, I guess" he says.

Iris rolls her eyes and sighs. "Don't mind her, she's obsessed with the Bloodline," she says to Roman.

"Yeah, I need you to introduce me to one of your cousins. Like yesterday." Jax said half jokingly.

Roman raises an eyebrow, intrigued by Jax's request.

"Which cousin are you interested in meeting?" he asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Are you being deadass?" Jax asked, her jaw dropping.

Amira, who had been mostly quiet until now, pipes up at the mention of Roman's cousins. "I want to meet Maui!" she exclaims, her eyes shining with excitement.

Roman grins at Amira's enthusiasm.

"You want to meet Maui from Moana?" he asks, feigning surprise. "That's my cousin."

Amira nods, "Yeah, my Auntie LeLe told me!" she said.

Roman chuckles, "Well, I'll see what I can do about getting you a meeting with Maui," he says, winking at her.

Iris laughs and hugs her kids tightly.

"Okay, okay, that's enough requests," she says, trying to contain her amusement. "I'll see you two later, behave yourselves. I love you both." She says placing kisses on top their heads.

She then hugs her sister and thanks her for watching the girls before shuffling out of the door with Roman.

Iris and Roman arrive at the rooftop restaurant, which is decorated with elegant tables and twinkling lights. The view of the city is breathtaking, and the air is filled with the soft sounds of music and chatter.

Iris looks around in awe, taking in the atmosphere.

"This place is amazing," she says, turning to Roman.

Roman smiles and takes her hand, as they're led to their table.

"I'm glad you like it," he says. "I wanted to make this night special." Roman pulls out Iris's chair for her, a gentlemanly gesture that makes her heart flutter.

"Thank you," she says, taking her seat.

Iris chuckles and raises an eyebrow at Roman.

"Suddenly being a gentleman, huh?" she teases. "You weren't this gentle when we first met." Being that the table he reserved was in its own private little area of the rooftop, they could pretty openly discuss anything without being overheard.

Roman grins, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Oh, I'm definitely a gentleman," he says, his voice low and smooth. "But I'm also a Dom, and I know a sub when I see one. And you, babygirl, are definitely a submissive."

"And how do you know that?" Iris questioned

Roman leans in closer, his voice taking on a seductive tone.

"I can tell by the way you react to me," he says, his breath hot against her ear. "

"The way you respond to my touch, the way you submitted to me taking control when we made out in my locker room. The way you beamed when I called you a good girl."

Iris grins, her heart racing at his words. She can't deny that he's right. "I can't argue with that," she admits, biting her lip.

Roman takes a sip of his drink before speaking, his eyes locked on Iris. "I've been in the lifestyle for years," he says. "It's something that just comes naturally to me. I enjoy taking control and making my partner feel good. How about you?"

Iris takes a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. "I've been in the lifestyle for a while too," she admits. "But it's been a while since I've had a partner who could truly take control and make me feel the way you do."

Roman's eyes darken with desire as he leans in closer. "I want to be that partner for you," he says, his voice low and seductive. "I want to make you feel things you've never felt before. I want to take you to new heights of pleasure, and submission."

Iris takes a deep breath, her expression turning somber.

"I haven't been on a date since my husband passed away," she says, her voice quiet. "We were exploring the lifestyle together before he.. well.. I haven't had a Dom since. I appreciate your offer, but I need time to think about it."

Roman nods understandingly, his expression softening.

"I understand," he says, taking her hand in his. "Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere. And if you decide you want to give this a try, I promise I'll take care of you and treat you right."

Iris smiles, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at his words.

"Thank you," she says, squeezing his hand.

Once they make it to the car, Roman slips the driver a $50 bill and instructs him to give them some privacy. The driver nods and gets out of the car, leaving Roman and Iris alone in the backseat.

As they sit in the backseat of the car, Iris looks at Roman with a mixture of desire and vulnerability. She leans in and presses her lips against his, kissing him softly at first, then more passionately.

Roman returns the kiss, his hand coming up to cup her face. But then he pulls back, a stern look on his face.

"Ah ah ah," he says, shaking his head. "You know gotta asking permission, babygirl."

Iris pouts and looks up at Roman with a sulky expression."But I wanted to kiss you," she says, her voice almost a whine.

Roman chuckles and shakes his head again."I know you did, babygirl," he says, his tone firm but playful. "But that doesn't change the fact that you didn't ask permission. If you were mine, you'd be getting a spanking for that."

Iris's pout deepens, but there's a hint of excitement in her eyes.

"You'd really spank me?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Roman grins, his eyes glinting with amusement.

"Oh, I would," he says, his voice low and seductive. "I'd spank you until you're begging for mercy. And then I'd take you home and make you mine in every way possible."

Iris can feel herself getting aroused at the thought of Roman spanking her and taking her home. Her breath quickens, and she shifts in her seat, trying to ignore the growing wetness between her legs.

Roman notices the change in Iris's demeanor and smirks, his eyes darkening with desire.

"You're getting excited, aren't you?" he asks, his voice low and sultry. "The thought of being punished and taken by me is turning you on.. such a bad girl."

Iris nods, unable to deny it. She can feel her body responding to his words, her nipples hardening and her clit throbbing.

"You want your tribal chief to make you feel good, sweetheart?" Roman asked.

"Yes," she whispers granting all the consent he needed to work his magic.

"Safeword is red." He tells her getting a nod in response.

"Use your words" Roman commanded

"Yes Sir" Iris responded.

Roman pulls Iris onto his lap, his lips crashing against hers in a hungry kiss. He runs his hands up her thighs, pushing her dress up and pulling her panties to the side. He slides his fingers between her folds, feeling how wet she is for him.

"You're soaked," he growls, his fingers rubbing against her clit.

Iris moans, her body arching into his touch. She wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his long luscious curls as he continues to tease her.

"Please," she whispers, her voice trembling with need. "I need more."

Roman grins smugly, his eyes flashing with desire. "More, huh?" he says, his fingers slipping inside her. "You want me to make you cum right here in the backseat of this car?"

Iris nods, her hips bucking against his hand as he starts to move his fingers in and out of her.

"Yes," she gasps, her eyes locked on his. "Please, make me cum, my tribal chief."

Roman's fingers move faster, his thumb rubbing against her clit as he pumps his fingers in and out of her. He leans in and whispers in her ear, his breath hot against her skin.

"You're so tight, babygirl," he says. "I can't wait to feel you around my cock."

Iris's body tenses as she feels herself getting closer to the edge. She clings to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she moans his name.

"Roman, I'm going to cum," she cries out.

Roman smirks, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Come for me, babygirl," he growls, his fingers curling inside her. "Come all over my hand."

Iris's body shudders as she reaches her peak, her orgasm washing over her in waves of pleasure. She buries her face in Roman's neck, moaning and gasping as she comes undone.

After Iris comes down from her high, Roman licks her juices from his fingers savoring her taste and helps her straighten her clothes. They make their way back to her place. The car ride is quiet, comfortable quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

When they arrive at her house, Roman walks her to the door, his hand resting possessively on the small of her back.

Roman pulls Iris close and kisses her deeply, his tongue tangling with hers.

"Goodnight, babygirl," he whispers against her lips. "I'll see you soon."

"Damn, I'ma need one of them cousins!" Jax's voice is heard over the ring cam.

Previous Chapter ●◉◎◈◎◉● Final Chapter

[lazycats-stuff]

Baby bat who gets kidnapped by lex Luthor but has no clue what’s happening like he’s being taken to metropolis and baby bats is like are we thiere yet singing and being a menace

Thiere confused on why an ugly bald guy is taking them out but Luthor gets fed up and leaves the kid somewhere and they just vibe

Alright. Again, comedy is not my strong suit, but I will try. Also, a little digression, I hit 700 followers. Thanks everyone. Also, this will be under Batfamily

Summary: (Y/N) gets kidnapped by Lex Luthor. Lex gets more than he bargained for.

Warnings: Kidnapping, (Y/N) is supposed to be a menace, but author doesn't have a sense of humor... Author has tried.

It all began on a rainy Monday. Everything was worse due to universal law of Monday being the worst days of the week. Bruce thought it would be a normal day. He dropped his son off at the kindergarten, gave him a kiss to the forehead and went to work.

If only Bruce knew that 3 hours later, (Y/N) would be kidnapped by Lex Luthor and a search for the unknown kidnapper would begin. Bruce also passed out when he got a call. The others left school to come back to the manor to help his father track their youngest.

Lex Luthor was pleased with himself as he was driving towards Metropolis. He had successfully, well, not him personally, but his men, kidnapped the youngest member of the Wayne family. Bruce was the most protective and the rest of the brothers are protective too.

The fact that (Y/N) was with them since he was a baby, amplified that protectiveness ten times more. He glanced at rearview mirror, seeing that the toddler was awake.

" Good to see you awake. " Lex said, watching as the toddler rubbed his eyes with his balled up hands.

" Where are we going? " (Y/N) asked, looking out the window.

" Don't worry about that. " Lex said quickly.

There was a silence for a few moments. (Y/N) was swinging his feet, looking around.

" Are we there yet? "(Y/N) asked, looking the back of Lex's head.

" No. "

A few moments passed.

" Are we there yet? "

" No. "

" Are we there now? "

" No. " Lex said, turning on the radio for (Y/N).

" The music is too loud! " (Y/N) whined, making Lex sigh. He turned down the volume. After a few more moments, Lex felt a kick at the back of this seat. He had to take a deep breath.

" Stop it. "

It was calm for a few moments. Then the sit got kicked again.

" Stop it! Right now! " Lex growled out loudly.

" I need to go to the bathroom. " (Y/N) asked, looking at Lex. " Why are you bald? " (Y/N) also asked.

Lex took a deep breath.

" I was in an accident. That's all you need to know. " Lex said.

" I need to go to the bathroom. " (Y/N) whined, making Lex sighed.

" Well, you are going to wait! " Lex yelled at (Y/N), making (Y/N) cross his arms. Alright.

" How much longer? " (Y/N) asked, watching as Lex was loosing his patience.

" Shut up. Just shut up. "

" Can I have your phone? " (Y/N) asked, bouncing his knee.

" Absolutely not. " Lex said, disgusted at the mere thought of it. How does Bruce Wayne put up with this brat?

So what does (Y/N) do in this situation? He starts singing loudly. What did he start singing? Frozen's Let it go. It seems that was the last straw for Lex as he pulled over. He got out of the car and left (Y/N) on the road.

" I'm not doing this. " Lex said, getting back into the car. (Y/N) watched as he drove off, confused?

Who was this bald man? And where were they going? He looked down at his shoes. He wanted to see his dad. But he couldn't walk back.

" Uncle Clark? I need some help. Some bald guy kidnapped me. " (Y/N) said, out loud, turning around to look at trees behind him.

A minute after he said it, Clark landed next to him. " Are you okay? " Clark asked his nephew, looking him over.

" I'm okay. I just want to see my dad. " (Y/N) said, wrapping himself around Clark like a koala.

" And we will kiddo. Hold on tightly. "

" Gordon, I'm telling you, that is Lex Luthor's guy. " Bruce said, rubbing his face.

" I need official conformation that there is a connection. I can understand you are afraid for your son, but I can't act on your hunch." Gordon tried to explain to Bruce. Bruce sighed, sitting down at the office chair in Gordon's office.

" I get that, but... My son is with them. I don't know if he is alive or dead. I don't know if he is injured... I don't know... " Bruce said, worry and sadness clear in his voice.

" I ca- Oh my God. " Gordon trailed off, looking through the glass windows behind Bruce. Bruce turned around, eyes widening at the sight. Superman was holding his son.

Bruce got up and ran out of the office, smiling at the sight of his son. Superman handed the little boy to his father. Bruce embraced his son, fighting tears as he held him tightly.

" Thank you Superman. " Bruce whispered, kissing (Y/N)'s head.

" No problem mister Wayne. Also, he told me that a bald man kidnapped him. " Superman said, making Bruce turn around to give Gordon a look.

" I will speed it up. " Gordon said.

" Thank you. (Y/N), are you hurt? "Bruce asked his son.

" No dad. Can we go home? " (Y/N) asked. He was tired and he laid his head on Bruce's shoulder.

" Of course we can. " Bruce said, thanking Superman once more.

[boag]

I was a nick and disney sitcoms kid like 100% they were basically all I watched and I think one of the key differences between the disney channel sitcoms of my childhood and the nickelodeon sitcoms of my childhood is that nick shows always had super likable boy characters and disney shows rarely did with a few exceptions (like suite life). Most of the disney shows I watched just for the 1 or 2 main girl characters and for the different concepts they’d do the same tropes with like oh this one is a wizard this one’s a popstar whereas nick shows felt way more character and comedy driven in general to me and tended to have very strong ensemble casts which I much preferred to Disney’s approach of almost every supporting character being a bland blank slate of a person that they can use to drive the plot forward in whatever way. Like I can revisit Victorious as an adult and be like “omg I loved the Andre, Beck, and Robbie trio” but I will never look back on Hannah Montana and be like wow I love Jackson and Oliver KDJSJFJJDFKJS

[darlingshane]

Summary: Karen has sworn to never date anyone in the workplace ever again, but it's a rule that she might need to break when she starts her new job at Castle Motors as a marketing consultant.

CW: au - romantic comedy, fluff, crack, slow burn, friendship, drinking, workplace relationships, eventual romance, happy ending, frank and maria are divorced but have a good relationship. (and marketing, a lot of marketing.)

Word Count: 12,1k (first 10 chapters only)

A/N: This is based on a drabble I wrote a few years ago of the same title here (it was kind of a mess so don't check it out, just read this one instead). I always wanted to turn it into a longer fic. I'm working on the last couple of chapters, and it'll be done soon. You won't have to wait long to see those posted.

— Links: AO3 // Kastle Masterlist.

Excerpt from my favorite chapter (7):

When Karen had pitched the idea of putting Frank in front of the camera, she knew it was a gamble. Frank was the kind of CEO who preferred to stay behind the scenes, letting his work and the company speak for itself. But Karen was convinced that showcasing Frank as the face of the company would resonate with the public, making Castle Motors not just a brand, but a brand with a story and a leader people could trust.

Frank, however, had been less than enthusiastic. “Karen, my face isn’t exactly camera-friendly,” he had said with a wry smile. “Broken nose, giant head, satellite ears…”

“Stop it, you look like a young De Niro.” Karen chuckled but persisted, knowing that his rough-around-the-edges appearance and straightforward personality were precisely what would make him relatable and authentic. People didn’t need another polished, cookie-cutter CEO—they needed someone real.

Now, as she watched Frank fidget with the collar of his suit, Karen could tell he was out of his element. He’d been through makeup, his hair was slicked back, and the tailored suit, while well-fitted, seemed to restrict him. He looked like a man wearing someone else’s skin.

She approached him, her eyes scanning the nervous energy in his posture. “You okay?” she asked softly.

Frank sighed, glancing around at the crew bustling about. “This just isn’t me, Karen. I don’t feel right in this get-up.”

Karen smiled, understanding his discomfort. “You don’t have to be someone else, Frank. That’s not what this is about. We want people to see you—the real Frank Castle. Not some polished version.”

She reached out, tugging gently at the lapels of his suit jacket. “What if we lose the jacket and tie? Maybe unbutton a couple of buttons, get you back to feeling like yourself?”

Frank hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, that might help.”

He slipped off the jacket, draping it over a nearby chair, and loosened his tie before pulling it off completely. Karen stepped closer, reaching up to unbutton the top two buttons of his dress shirt. As she did, she noticed how his broad chest and strong shoulders seemed to relax with the simple act.

— You can read the rest on AO3.