#comedy bodega | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

druidx · 5 months ago

Text

Her Countenance was Light - Chapter 41

CW: None AO3 ; Chapters: 01. 10. 20. 30. 40. Tag list (ask for +/-): @aquadestinyswriting, @hannah-heartstrings, @jacqueswriteblrlibrary, @babyblueetbaemonster @mr-orion

The sky is overcast, threatening rain, as Elo sits with Farren's phone, legs bunched on the green twill armchair, ear glued to the handset as she waits for the call to connect. "Emerald Star, Christopher speaking. How may I assist you?" "This is Detective O'Toreguarde, TPD. Could you put me through to room 1803?" The concierge pauses. "And may I enquire about the nature of your correspondence?" His Nibs is a high-profile guest; of course, they're screening his calls. "It's Triumvirate business. I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to disclose anything further." Another pause. "And whom should I say is calling?" Didn't she just–? But maybe the concierge is on her side… Elo sighs. "Lady Elowyn." "Very good, your Ladyship. Connecting you now." Elo can hear Farren humming from the bathroom, mingling with the drone of his electric razor. "Good morning, Lady Elowyn," comes a lilting, feminine voice. "This is Unka, His Majesty's personal assistant. What can I help you with?" "May I speak to His Majesty directly?" "I'm afraid he's still asleep at the moment. Perhaps I can help?" "I understand that making travel arrangements to return to Iceland may take some time. I thought, while that was completed, His Majesty and I could take in some more of the city sights. I'm still relieved of my duties as a policeman, and I suspect that neither of us is particularly keen to visit City Hall today." There's splashing coming from the bathroom now. The phone line stays quiet. Elo forges on, "Despite any implications made during yesterday's negotiation meeting, I have enjoyed His Majesty's company this past week, as a friend, and I have enjoyed showing him the city I love. If he's of the same mind, I would like to continue until he leaves." The silence from the other end of the phone continues, and Elo wonders if she's on speakerphone. In for a dollar… "I may also have a selfish motivation. The head of his security detail is my best friend. If these talks fall through I don't know when I'll be able to see her next. I already missed her wedding. I don't want to miss anything else. And His Majesty is the last link I have to my dear Aunt. I don't want to lose that either. "Please, Your Majesty, if you're listening, would you at least consider one final trip out with me?" The line stays silent. "I'm staying with Detective Breakwood at the moment. Or you can always reach me at the station." Elo gives Farren's number and her desk number, waits a few moments more, and sets the handset back in its cradle.

"Guess it didn't go well, huh?" Farren asks from the doorway. Elo scrunches herself further into the chair. "No. He wouldn't even speak to me." Farren bustles around the kitchen, making a cup of freeze-dry coffee. "You know, you were right. You're not expected at work or at City Hall." He keeps his back to her. "You could stay here and take a day?" Elo lets her head fall onto the backrest. Outside, central Toreguard is hidden by the haze of low clouds. The filigreed dome of the Theater d'Olidammara is a flat yellow. On the twin bridges, Comedy's traffic is nose-to-tail but Tragedy flows freely. She could take the day. But then do what – sit around and mope? At the end of Farren's street is a deli/bodega. Elo watches the crowds on the sidewalk dipping in and out with take-out cups or bags of cheap convenience, watching as they hurry on their way to a job or school or to care for someone. She wonders how many of them are also having a crappy week. How many of them also ache and grieve and have to push on. She shouldn't be so selfish. Elo uncurls and stands. "Just because I'm not expected, doesn't mean there isn't work to be done." Farren's shoulders slump as he gives a heavy sigh. "Yeah. S'what I thought you'd say." He turns and holds out a mug of coffee. "Here. Get this down you and we'll head on."

–––

At the station, Elo busies herself with the ever-increasing stack of paperwork in her in-tray; there's not much more to be learnt from Evie's journals, Cobbleskater tells her, and he can handle it himself. Elo suspects he's in a snit because she wasn't prompt with finishing the translations.

It's just shy of mid-morning, she's in the breakroom getting coffee with Ayton, when there's a stir in the bullpen. They peek out to see King Storri leaning against Elo's desk. Merri is idly pawing through the in-tray. Ayton looks up at Elo with a delighted grin. "Oooh, girl! Is that who I think it is?" "Yeah." "And just what did you do to get him to show up here?" Elo looks at Storri, back at Ayton, and presses a hand to her forehead. "Technically, it wasn't me. But I can't talk about it right now. Ask me again when I've got something stronger than coffee in my hand." Ayton's face drops. "Oh, shit. That bad?" "Worse." Elo takes a gulp of coffee, hands it to Ayton, straightens her shirt and steps out, once again fully aware that she has the attention of the whole bullpen on her.

"Your Majesty," she says, giving him a bow from the waist. "What can I help you with?" Storri startles upright, covers his startling with a cough, and inclines his head. "Detective O'Toreguarde. Is there somewhere more private we may speak?" "Of course, Your Majesty." Elo glances at her old companion, and adds with a bite, "Agent Gruksdottir, do you mind?" Merri waves from where she's now poking around in Elo's top drawer. "Not at all. On you go." Elo purses her lips and huffs. Merri glances up, sees Elo's face, says, "Oh," and sheepishly closes the drawer. Elo inclines her head in sarcastic thanks, then gestures the king ahead of her. "This way," Elo says, leading the way from the bullpen.

They find a free interview room, and Elo flips the marker to 'in use' as she ushers the king in. Elo stops on the threshold, but Merri gives a quick shake of her head; she'll remain out here. Elo closes the door and steps away, crossing her arms. "So," she says. King Storri draws himself to full height. "I have acted, to you in specific, in a most unbecoming manner. Having heard your words this morning and knowing that you were the butt of yesterday's farce, I have considered my behaviour and found it lacking. If you are still willing, I would enjoy a final day in your company to further explore the city you and my beloved call home." His beloved… Elo doesn't think she's going to get used to hearing anyone refer to Aunt Alexis as 'their beloved'. She loosens her arms. "Your apology is accepted. And I would love to show you more of Toreguard. I'd still like to apologise for yesterday–" Storri holds up a hand. "I think, perhaps, it best to leave politics aside. I understand your desire to have our two nations on speaking terms again, but," he turns his head away with a shake, "I cannot countenance it. Not anymore. Not after Drakemar, and after what they did to your Aunt, and now what they've tried to do to you. This is the final coffin nail." Elo swallows, allowing her gaze to fall with her shoulders. "I understand. I'll be showing you the city today, not as Lady Elowyn, but as Elo who could have been your step-child." Storri crosses the space between them and clasps her shoulder. "It is for the best." "Right. Well then," Elo looks up and forces a smile. "I know the perfect place to start."

–––

"They did love her, you know," Elo says. "Despite the Triumvirate bowing to the Business Consortium's wishes and placing the Edict, they loved her and the others enough to make these statues." They are standing on the quayside of the Ring Canal, bundled up against the spring drizzle, and staring across the busy water at the statues which stand sentinel at the edge of the City Hall Plaza. The Ring of Heroes, which Elo has delivered a short lecture on, is too far to complete on foot, so instead Elo has chosen to show him Alexis' statue. The gracefully carved marble gazes watchfully out over the city, the long rifle Foreign Policy resting at ease in her hands. A phantom wind twitches her trench coat and cornrows. "They love her still, too. There're always parties on the anniversary of Greydown's defeat. Always toasts to her skill and bravery. Although," Elo's gaze falls away, "with each passing year they love the legend a little more and the person a little less." Storri is immersed in a thoughtful silence. "Why are we not up there?" Merri asks. "Enezeag, Felix and Darrius are," Elo says. "Technically, you're a traitor, and I keep – ahem – forgetting to attend the sculpture sittings." Merri laughs and loops an arm over Elo's shoulder. "Never change, cridhe. Never change."

They move on to the City Museum. It's a beautiful building, made of red brick and terracotta mouldings, and filled with the story of Toreguard's rise, fall, and phoenix-like regeneration. Elo focuses their attentions on the parts her aunts have played in the city's history, how they fought for it and saved it. She draws Storri's attention, too, to the descriptions of Greydown – the man who thought himself above others and brought ruin down on everyone, including himself. The King smiles tolerantly, and Elo has to remind herself of course he knows about it already; it's much more recent history for him than it is her. Storri strides past the section on Drakemar and his emissary with barely a glance. Elo doesn't understand what his issue with Drakemar is. She can't see what's wrong with taking money from a wealthy benefactor and turning it around to rebuild the city and rehome all the people displaced by the bombs and subsequent fighting. There've been some small concessions in governance which benefit Drakemar and his people, she knows that, but isn't that acceptable when, without him, Toreguard would not be standing? But he said no politics, so she doesn't bring it up, and they move on to the museum restaurant instead.

Elo finds herself wanting to apologise to the staff and other patrons as Storri's security sweeps in to clear a whole corner – one with the best view, no less. To their credit, the maître de doesn't bat an eye, and lunch, with a complimentary bottle of bubbly, goes down well; the cheque that Unka hands over, with such a great deal of zeros, probably helps a lot too. They linger up there, with Elo pointing out the dome of Theater d'Olidammara, now glittering in the sunlight pushing through fat clouds, and the university buildings behind it. City Hall takes up most of the view from the other direction, but in the distance, they can just make out the obelisk-shaped spire of the Temple of Heironeous.

Then it's time to move on, but not without one last little stop. The way up to the restaurant is lined with portraits, which had Storri pausing by each to examine and read over the placard. So Elo steers them out via the Ovoxi Hall, a large room of which one wall is taken up entirely by the faux-renaissance painting The Casting of Challenge Seeker. The mighty canvas depicts five heroes standing with their backs to the viewer at the top of a crenellated tower, while around them are littered the corpses of demons. In the tumultuous clouds above a titanic, Olympian-esque figure is visible from the waist up. This Titan has his arm outstretched in the starry heavens, as if he has just thrown the silver sword which glitters like the north star just beyond his grip. Storri reads the info plaque next to the recommended-viewing bench, making noise of exclamation as he learns the piece is younger than Elo, that it was gifted by an anonymous creator and donor almost as soon as the museum opened, and just what it represents. He then steps forward to take in the details of the smallest member of the party, and once he is done, turns back to Elo with a solemn nod.

Outside the museum, Elo hails a punt and asks the punter to take them a circuitous route to the covered markets at Olmsafon. As they travel – down the North Trunk then turning East into progressively smaller waterways – Elo finds herself giving a running commentary of each district and item of import they pass. Sometimes it's a grand event, sometimes it's a silly memory, but it builds up into a verbal cloth, woven of all the threads that tie her, and tied her Aunt, to the city they both love; a cloth which Elo, with all the skills she can, drapes around Storri to show him Toreguard and her people are worth his attention and alliance.

The markets are bustling as the punter pulls up to the docks. As they disembark, Merri shoots Elo a distinctly unimpressed look, which Elo accepts with a repentant tilted head. It's possible, having lost track of the days, she hadn't quite thought this one through – with so many locals doing their weekly shop and tourists enjoying the ambience, it makes the King much harder to protect. But equally, Elo reasons, if someone deliberately meant to do him harm they would need to know his movements in advance; and considering that none of them knew an hour ago where they were headed, Elo thinks it's probably safe. And anyway, she thinks – as she wanders around with him, their arms linked like a step-child and father aught, pointing out things that take his fancy and she explaining some particular oddity brought by the city being such a melting pot of culture, chatting with the vendors, sampling victuals, and buying an increasingly extravagant amount of goods – he's relaxed and having fun. She does not like the amount of grief that he had been subject to by Brauma; Merri said he was here in part to take a break from everyday stress, and Elo should be facilitating that, not causing more.

It's just past four when they exit the markets. A car is called to take all the parcels back to Storri's rooms, and then they move on for afternoon tea at a rather hidden, and thus exclusive, cafe that Aunt Selene liked to frequent. Elo hasn't been here in a while – it's one of those places that, on a copper's salary, is quite a lot out of her price range – but it's just as delightful as she recalls. They're tucked into a snug by themselves, bestowed with pots of tea, stands of petit four and finger sandwiches, and told to holler if anything more is needed. So they sit and chat, and Elo tries to absorb having Merri by her side, storing up the feeling like a squirrel stores food for the winter.

They've been having a ribald conversation on the knife-edge of decency – the sort they used to have, back when they travelled together – when they both become aware that King Storri has not said anything in some time. He's staring down at the tartlet on his plate with some intensity. "Kóngurinn minn?" Merri says gently. He sucks in a breath as if he was very far away. "While I am aware it was I who requested no political discussion, I have been thinking…" Both women set down their cups and pay attention. "Elowyn, it has been a joy getting to know you this past week. You are an expert conversationalist, knowledgeable in many areas and the love you feel for your city is tangible. That you have anticipated my want to learn more about the home of my beloved is a grace. As you wished not to lose connection with Agent Gruksdottir, I too, should not like to lose connection with you. "Thus, I would like to offer you citizenship of Iceland." Elo feels her mouth drop open as she stares. "That is… an incredible offer. Thank you." The cogs in her brain whirr at this opportunity, and she pounces on it. "I would be honoured to accept… "Except, and I am in no way trying to downplay or dismiss what you're offering, but I must ask. What of Toreguard's people – don't they deserve to see Iceland too? To see her sprawling mountains, volcanoes and geysers. To eat puffin in Fangthane and drink brennivín made from glacier waters. What of those who want to watch an aurora in the spray of a waterfall?" Storri's brow furrows. "You never give up, do you?" At this Merri laughs. "She'd fight to the bitter end if you let her." Storri takes a bite from his tartlet. "And what of your own people?" Elo asks. "I'm sure they'd relish the opportunity to eat as you've eaten. Cakes and curry and the Conquistador's Revenge. Puffin gets wearisome for every meal." An eyebrow raise. "It's not that bad," Storri mumbles. Elo looks at Merri. "With respect, Kóngurinn minn, it does get tiresome very quickly when it's your main source of protein." "And that is nothing to speak of when compared to a village's grain being turned to hardtack right after harvest." Something shifts on his face then, brows furrowed as he stares at his tartlet. He remains quiet and thoughtful, and Merri makes some comment, and she and Elo take up whatever thread they'd been talking about.

Storri sets his tartlet down, half-eaten, his expression so serious that it is just shy of a glower. Elo and Merri leave off their conversation again. "I will not truck with either the Master of the Exchequer nor the Acting Magister," Storri says. "Even if your tastes swayed towards men, even if I did not see you as the child of my beloved Alexis, even then your age would not allow me to accept you as a spouse. I remain infuriated with those prune-shriven runions for their blatant disregard, disrespect, and cavalier, vinegar stunt. "The actions of those black toads aside, you have shown me this day that Toreguard is as fair as one could hope, filled with as exotic sights and sensations as any traveller could dream of. The vibrancy of her people and the care and enthusiasm in which you have shown these things has convinced me that perhaps not all hope is lost for this city. "I will persevere with negotiations, but only with yourself or Strucker. I have no desire to engage with any other of your council." The elation rising in Elo's chest during Storri's little speech dies a cold, hard death. "You are aware that, despite my pretty title, I don't have any real power? You will have to deal with Clayrmantle eventually. After Greydown, it was decreed that no singular person would ever have that much executive power again. So while the Senate can vote in favour of a resolution, in order to pass, it requires the signatures of at least two Triumvirate members. Something as large as this may even require all three." The King regards her with a flat stare, eyes flashing like embers, and Elo thinks she's screwed the whole thing again. But these are the facts and there is no escaping them. He says, "I will not deal with Exchequer Brauma. I cannot guarantee my behaviour will befit my station while around him." "Alright. I can sit in and moderate any meetings with Clayrmantle. And, while I can't guarantee this will be accepted, I can request that the Secretary to the Treasury be the Exchequer's proxy in meetings that would require him. Is that acceptable?" Storri lifts his chin, considering the colourful bunting along the snug's picture rail. "This is acceptable. With this in place, I feel we could finalise an accord between our two states." Elo smiles, letting out a slow breath, feeling her spirit soar. He turns his gaze back to Elo. "I have one final condition." She feels her heart still in its victory dance. "I would expect that I will have to return several times to complete this deal. At each of these visits, you will take me to a different eatery or watering hole, and let me dine in anonymity with you." Elo grits her teeth, assuming a grim expression. "Agreed. Then I also have a further condition. I request a new artwork featuring your country that I can display in The Shield and proclaim you the donor." Storri nods in regal consideration. "It is done then," he says. His eyes never leave Elo's as he speaks, though his lips tremble in the suppression of a smile. "Unka will have the contract drawn up when we return to the Emerald. I will have this deal in writing." From the other table, Unka says, with laughter in her tone, "Já, Konungur minn." Merri stifles a chuckle. At that Storri breaks, his grin wide and mischievous, his laughter a roll of thunder, starting small as a chortle and rising to guffaw, and Elo finds herself following right along with him. "Oh, my child. Your face – it was a picture!" King Storri chuckles, as Elo finds she has to wipe her eyes at the mirth spilling from them – such is her nervous relief. "You rotten old troll!" she gasps out, grinning. "You had me really worried for a moment there." Storri finally finishes off his tartlet. "I look forward to being able to festoon your community hall with the finest art my countrymen have to offer." Elo smiles widely at that. "And it will be my pleasure to introduce you to all the flavours my city can offer your palette."

#oc elowyn o'toreguarde #oc farren breakwood #pc meredith gruksdottir #npc storri nargondsson #oc ingrid ayton #writing #HCWL Chapters only #WIP 'Her Countenance was Light'#titan fighting fantasy #fighting fantasy #ttrpg fanfiction #wandering words

4 notes · View notes

mcondance · 2 years ago

Note

Do you remember when people were saying Hobie would have a soft spot for Queen Elizabeth? LMFAO

i wish i could forget

speaking of that.. niggas takin that ‘i don’t believe in consistency’ thing and beating it into the ground.. when spidermen (all genders) put their masks on, they aren’t their regular selves anymore. mostly everything they say turns into a bit, smth like a comedy routine. that’s why there’s such a shift between mask-on spiderpunk who’s talking and yellin and saying shit like “i’ll do it, but not because you told me to” in his little valley girl accent and mask off hobie who’s laid back and chill.. cause it’s a bit. it’s a joke. the mask adds a layer of confidence and charm. notice how miles is kinda awkward outside his spider suit.. but with it on we get scenes like the bodega fight with spot. “i don’t believe in consistency” was borne from hobie getting caught up doing something that went against what he said earlier in his bit. that could have been a lie. it was most likely A LIE! DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING SPIDERMEN SAY WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR MASKS ON.

#₊˚. ☆ yours truly 💌:#anon #like are we forgetting andrew!spidey’s whole ‘is that a knife? my weakness.. small knives 😨’ scene??#they some clowns when they have the mask on 😭

32 notes · View notes

clockwrkcabaret · 10 months ago

Text

Extra Ordinary

WARNING! This show is for adults. We drink cocktails, have potty mouths and, at least, one of us was raised by wolves.

The Clockwork Cabaret is a production of Agony Aunt Studios. Featuring that darling DJ Duo, Lady Attercop and Emmett Davenport. Our theme music is made especially for us by Kyle O’Door.

This episode aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 06.02.24.

New episodes air on Mad Wasp Radio on Sundays @ 12pm GMT! Listen at www.madwaspradio.com or via TuneIn radio app!

Playlist:

Spiritualized – Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space

Headless Heroes – Hey, Who Really Cares

John Grant – GMF

The White Stripes – We’re Going to Be Friends

Adjoa Skinner – Bikini

The Magnetic Fields – Absolutely Cuckoo

Courtney Barnett – History Eraser

Faye Webster – I Know I’m Funny haha

Caroline Rose – More of the Same

The Divine Comedy – Queuejumper

The Bastard Fairies – Habitual Inmate

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – I Put a Spell On You

Sia – The Co-Dependent

Julian Cope – Sunspots

Andrew Simple – Won’t Believe Your Eyes (feat. The Phantoms)

BODEGA – How Did This Happen!?

Wet Leg – Chaise Longue

Red Money – No Rules

The Shins – Sleeping Lessons

FIDLAR – Called You Twice (feat. K.Flay)

The Go! Team – She’s Got Guns

Sleigh Bells – Rill Rill

Mitski – Thursday Girl

CHAI – Nobody Knows We Are Fun

Princess Nokia – Tomboy

Superorganism – Everybody Wants to Be Famous

XVOTO – Mommy Can’t Sleep

Check out this episode!

#alternative #Comedy #dark americana #folk #indie #Mad Wasp Radio #music #neo vintage #punk #Steampunk

5 notes · View notes

roskirambles · 6 months ago

Text

Horror Movie of the day: The Birds (1963)

Melanie Daniels is a socialite visiting a bird store, when lawyer and brief acquaitance Mitch Brenner approaches her under the guise of confusing her for a store eployee. Charmed by the act, she decides to pay him a visit at coast town of Bodega Bay with the present he was seeking for her sister: a pair of lovevirds. After crossing the lake on a boat and hiding the two birds, she gets attacked by a seagull. Mitch tends the wound, and learning some more about the man and his family looks like it might be the start of something. But the birds in town keep acting more strange by the hour.

Loosely based on the short story by Daphne du Maurier, this Hitchcock classic manages to use a seemingly silly premise to a genuinely unnerving effect. The appeal of natural horror lies in the simple observation of how surprisingly vulnerable humans are to changes to the enviromnent. For how small and generally timid birds are to people, they easily outnumbering humans in certain spaces which creates scenarios where you'd feel surrounded should these creatures be more overtly hostile. And the movie knows this, basically starting with some tropes that would be at home in a romantic comedy, just to then throw a monkey wrench into that plot and gradually devolve into chaos with a situation that has no explanation or real respite but simply... is.

One of the things this film is notorious about is the lack of any background music. An unusued idea carried over from Psycho, the effect is striking: with only recordings of birds and synthesized replications by Bernard Hermman, the soundscape is an envelopping, trapping cacophony of animal sounds, while the beats of deafening silence makes some scenes of carnage and paranoia be treated with disturbing indifference.

It's more than a tad dated in some of the visual effects, but the tension it creates is still agonizing decades later. You'll pretty much never see birds the same way again.

#horror movies #halloween movie #natural horror #alfred hitchcock #bernard herrmann #rod taylor #jessica tandy #suzanne pleshette #tippi hedren #veronica cartwright #ethel griffies #the birds #roskirambles

2 notes · View notes

cantsayidont · 11 months ago

Text

Haterating and hollerating in the 1990s again:

BLUE STEEL (1990): Slick, stupid, unpleasant Kathryn Bigelow thriller is copaganda for true crime addicts: New NYPD cop Megan (Jamie Lee Curtis) kills a bodega holdup man her first night on the job and is immediately suspended because bystander Eugene (Ron Silver), a nebbish commodity trader, has surreptitiously pocketed the robber's gun — which he then uses to become a serial killer while cultivating an obsession with Megan, trying to insinuate himself into her life and then murdering people she knows. Even though Megan directly witnesses some of his crimes, her superiors refuse to take her accusations seriously because she's a woman, so all she can do is wait for an opportunity to shoot it out with Eugene that won't look like she's set him up. Dire. CONTAINS LESBIANS? You might ship Curtis with Elizabeth Peña (wasted as Megan's best friend), but it would only make things worse. VERDICT: An acute distillation of white libfem victimhood, but no fun on any level.

THE GLASS SHIELD (1994): Underwhelming police corruption drama/thriller about the first Black deputy in a racist L.A. County Sheriff's station (Michael Boatman), who tries unsuccessfully to challenge his colleagues' various ugly deeds (including the murder of a Black prisoner and running a murder-for-hire racket) while becoming unwillingly complicit in them. His only ally is the station's first and only female deputy (Lori Petty), who's just as much of an outsider as he is. Except for a stupid comic book-style opening intended to illustrate the protagonist's idealism, the plot is pretty realistic — including a more than usually downbeat ending that's a grim reminder that changing systems like these from within is a fool's hope — but it's dramatically lackluster: Boatman is fine, but his character has no real depth; an array of prominent actors (among them Elliott Gould, Ice Cube, and M. Emmet Walsh) are stuck in dull tertiary roles; and while Petty's presence is welcome, she doesn't have much to do. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Nope. VERDICT: Its resistance to pat happy endings to systematic problems is commendable, but it desperately needs dramatic juice that's not forthcoming.

MYSTERY DATE (1991): Curious, clunky hybrid of teen romcom and black comedy, starring a young Ethan Hawke as awkward teenager Tom McHugh, whose slick older brother Craig (Brian McNamara) rolls back into town while their parents are away and sets Tom up on a date with the cute next-door neighbor he's been crushing on (Teri Polo), even getting him a new haircut and some new clothes for the occasion. However, Tom soon realizes people are mistaking him for his brother — and discovers that Craig's '50s convertible, which Tom has borrowed for the big date, has a corpse in the trunk! A potentially audacious premise is undermined by flaccid pacing, a needlessly convoluted plot, unclear stakes, and a protagonist who spends so much time reacting to things that the script never bothers to give him an actual personality. Fisher Stevens also strains patience in an obnoxiously hammy supporting role as an unhinged flower delivery driver, although B.D. Wong is amusing as a foppish gangster. CONTAINS LESBIANS: Also nope. VERDICT: Not dark enough to be compelling, too dark for a regular teen romcom, and it mostly just lies there.

#movies #hateration holleration #blue steel #kathryn bigelow #ron silver #jamie lee curtis #the glass shield #michael boatman #lori petty #mystery date #ethan hawke #teri polo #fisher stevens #bd wong

3 notes · View notes

wrongmeat · 1 year ago

Text

I think it’s really interesting how media can affect people, long after they’ve seen it. In late 2021 my friends were coming to visit me in New York City, I wanted something fun for us to do. None of the Broadway shows interested us at all, so I started looking into off Broadway productions. I’m not entirely sure how I came across it, but eventually I came to a contender. ‘The Antelope Party’ It was a black comedy about bronys and their new neighborhood watch. Me and me friends were chronically online autistic adults in our 20’s, and mild MLP enjoyers, so we had to see this show. I didn’t do much more research then that, I bought the tickets and I waited for the date.

The night of, we got bodega sandwiches and walked to the theater, that was coincidentally very close to my house. This isn’t important, but I remember it.

Inside, the stage was very small, decorated like someone’s basement living room, with of course a bit of pony flair. I was looking forward to a comedic night. Nothing could have prepared me for the cutting fascist allegories and bleak events that unfolded in front of me over the next few hours, like an impending train wreck you couldn’t look away from.

It’s clearly been a few years since I’ve seen it, and you know what? I don’t even remember how it ended, aside from the fact it was ambiguous and me and my friends disagreed on what it meant. But I do remember how it made me feel, the clear demonstration of the paradox of tolerance, of how corrupting power and authority can be. At the time, it was extremely relevant in the climate, proud boys running rampant. It still feels relevant now, and it’s somewhat crushing to be part of such a small number of people who got to see it. There were a few other productions around the country, but I don’t think it got the credit it deserved. You can buy and read the script for 15 dollars. More people should know about The Antelope Party.

#haha wow I said a lot #anyway #the antelope party #nyc #Broadway #theater #brony #life excerpt

6 notes · View notes

gsohb · 1 year ago

Text

Jennifer Lopez: What Happened Here?

Jennifer Lopez; Marry Me (2022)

I remember my first Jennifer Lopez C.D. I was about 9, or 10 and received On The 6 as a gift.

I don't actually remember if I had been a fan of Lopez at the time (I was hip to Britney, though, I remember that!), as soon as I heard the opening to "If You Had My Love", I was hooked.

On my adorable, hot pink boombox, was when I first really remember hearing Jennifer Lopez sing. Although a little mature, the song nonetheless had lyrics that actually weren't too bad for a young girl of the 90's to hear - love, trust, comfort me. Don't lie to me.

I was absolutely mesmerized with Jennifer Lopez. She was pretty, fun, seemed kind (I was a kid), and as I began to watch her films, I fell in love with her portrayals, especially in Selena, and Enough.

I don't care what y'all say, them movies were GOOD.

Aww, so cute.

J.Lo was born Jennifer Lynn Lopez on July 24th, 1969 in New York City. She is known though, for being raised in The Bronx section of the city.

Most of the old heads (myself included) might remember Jennifer from before her musical career; her time on the sketch comedy show In Living Color, and in films like Money Train (1995), Selena (1997), and Anaconda (1997).

This is where Jennifer soared. Her acting. By the time she'd dived into music, she had already had a very loyal fan-base.

I don't exactly know what happened, but sometime around the late 1990's, she decided to dive into music, met Sean "P.Diddy" Combs, and as we know, the rest, it's now history (I hope).

But now, it's 2024, and Jennifer is no longer liked.

Her fans? They're few.

Concerts? Not selling.

As a (why cap?) lifelong fan, I have to admit, that there have been reports, that Mrs. Affleck doesn't actually sing as much as we think she does, on her albums.

These claims, along with people who have stated that meeting her was quite unpleasant, paint a picture as to why Mrs. Affleck, today, is not only losing popularity, but building an anti-brand.

A part of me wonders if Jennifer's recent film, This Is Me...Now, has a bit something to do with the growing disdain.

From looking at people's reactions to her self-funded film, a love story so to speak, it occurred to me: Jennifer isn't being authentic.

Jennifer is showing people a very shallow, pretty, gussied up version of her true emotions.

When she sits in her bedroom, brokenhearted, is this truly how she feels? I think people are upset, because when watching these kinds of statements from Jennifer, like her constantly professing about being from The Block, people get exhausted.

They feel like Jennifer is faking the funk, not showing her true, raw, maybe even ugly, scary side. One thing we can say about singer/actress Beyonce, is that she is NOT afraid to show us her scary side.

But Jennifer has never gone there (with us). She's never truly shown us a stripped down, raw version of herself.

That's what crossed my mind this morning as I sipped by 1$ bodega coffee.

But...then another thought came in.

What if this is it with Jennifer?

What if this is all there is to her? And us, the demanding, hungry public, is asking a bit more than she can actually give.

Jennifer Lopez - Affleck: Is that all there is?

#jennifer lopez #jlo #music #hiphop #rb #pop #pdiddy #tiktok #new #trending #posts #fun #thoughts #opinions #bronx #nyc #the bronx #manhattan #i need opinions

4 notes · View notes

haliyahfm · 2 years ago

Text

( zuri reed , twenty8 , cis woman , she/her ) ⎮ would ya look who it is , haliyah moore in the flesh ! dude , i heard they were a dj for kiss 89.5 at that place across town . yeah , no , they’re the one that’s really gutsy and warm-hearted but my buddy said they’re super uncompromising and a bit excessive too . i wonder what they’re doing over here though ? c'mon let’s go back to my place and i can show you their myspace profile , it autoplays this must be the place (naive melody) by talking heads when it boots up , it’s great . ⎮

full name: haliyah corinne moore nicknames: hali, yaya birthday: august 16th (28 years old, leo) hometown: columbus, ohio gender and sexuality: cis, bisexual woman education: bachelor's in communications from nyu occupation: radio dj for kiss 89.5 pets: moose (shih tzu mix rescue, 3 years old) favorite hobbies: autumn roadtrips to watch drive-in movie double features, keeping up with her favorite soap operas daily, playing dungeons & dragons, volunteering at the public library to spread wholesome chaos, reading tea leaves and tarot cards, sliding on her socks on hardwood floors

about

haliyah moore (hali to her loved ones) grew up in the suburbs of columbus, ohio wishing she was in new york city. like most little kids, she dreamed of wearing a feather boa down fifth avenue in defiance of the fashion elite and living in a park-view apartment with her best friend where they could complain about the horror of modern dating. what do you mean, that wasn’t most little kids? alright, it wouldn’t exactly be the last time hali wasn’t like most kids.

with dreams of new york like hali’s, columbus was a small pond in comparison. she was the free spirit, the dreamer, the rebel; the kind of person who got bored of following the rules and started playing by her own rules instead. her mothers were both biologists who studied at nyu and hali’s twin sister was the future valedictorian, so it only made sense that hali took a hard left into the absurd. she was the court jester of her high school’s theatre department, speech & debate team, and its worst garage grunge band (not to mention the band’s guitarist).

when hali and her sister graduated, her sister had a full-ride scholarship and a summer internship lined up, and hali had a buttercup yellow 1970 convertible beetle and a dream. that dream: spend the three months she had until new york road-tripping through the continental us. every corner, every nook and cranny, haliyah wanted to explore it. bars she had to sneak into, tires she had to change on the side of the freeway in the middle of nowhere, the tears she cried when she broke her arm in texas and realized she was on her own; she cherished every moment.

by the time hali finally reached new york, even with the most summer behind her, it was clear that this was still the beginning of something new and terrifying and enchanting. and she was positively enchanted by new york. nyu and a whole host of student loans took her in with open arms. it quickly introduced her to improv comedy, late-night college public radio, jungle juice, and college boys, and the rest was history. her senior year heralded in her first real adult relationship and her most important decision to date: accepting an internship at a dinky little radio station in brooklyn.

six years later, she’s only had to hop between three stations, most recently landing at kiss 89.5 in columbus circle. it’s been three years at the station and she’s finally got a decent timeslot, but she’s never stopped dreaming of being the dj on all the billboards; the one everyone tunes in for rather than just her die-hard fans and the mildly interested listeners who didn’t really care whose voice they heard. something inside her keeps on believing that if she could just get the rest of her life together, she could really have it all someday.

for now, awful blind dates, drunken trips to see her local bodega cat at two in the morning, and the constant search for a new manicurist after spilling too many of her secrets again will just have to do.

connection ideas

the neighbor next door she borrows sugar from and almost certainly has a crush on

the ride or die bestie who keeps her sane in the city and knows her coffee order by heart (and vice versa)

the listener who doesn't realize hali is the voice coming out of their radio

the bartender who has seen her at her most and least charming

the found family that makes her feel whole and seen in the chaos of the city

the meet-cute she keeps running into and having three quarters of a rom-com interaction with

the blast from the past that knew her in ohio

the college sweetheart - or maybe just roommate? - from nyu (she attended between '93 and '97)

#cleanintro #❝ 𝕗𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 ⟶ about ❞#!!!

8 notes · View notes

msspitman · 4 months ago

Text

Participo en B2B eCommerce Road (x) Córdoba

El pasado 4 de diciembre en el Real Aeroclub de Córdoba participé en la jornada de B2B ecommerce Road organizada por ecommerce news y Xeito Meeting.

Algunas de las empresas que participaron en el evento son: Alibaba, AJE Córdoba, Embacor, Bodegas Toro Albalá, Grupo Rochel, Patatas Raquel, Dolores Promesa, De Ruy, Soloepis, Climer, BigCommerce, TAKEFORTYTWO o Grupo Piedra

Y es que aunque algunos de los invitados pensaron que era más un monólogo al más puro stand-up comedy, mi planteamiento de ponencia iba encaminada a de una forma amena, repasar algunas de las grandes meteduras de pata que hemos cometido en Cartucho.es, es importante saber reirse de uno mismo, pero tomando decisiones. De esta manera arrancábamos con "Decisiones estratégicas en e-commerce para no morir de éxito: B2B vs B2C".

Los dos puntos más clave o recomendaciones en las que suelo incidir y desde los cuales se puede empezar a profundizar en detalles o plano táctico son:

Flujo de caja.

Escalabilidad vs operaciones.

Es desde aquí donde se observan las principales diferencias B2B vs B2C:

Operaciones: Almacén (pick&pack, optimizaciones logísticas), financiero (flujo de caja al tener pre y post pagos) y compras (rotaciones, eficiencia de dinero, no romper stock).

Marketing y Ventas: Web (¿Necesaria? ¿Personal capacitado?), canales de captación (adaptación al target y canales ad-hoc), gestión de relaciones y bbdd (no sólo email pero relación y gestión de CRM).

#córdoba #cordoba #evento #ecommerce #e-commerce #ecommerce news #b2b

0 notes

deadlinecom · 8 months ago

Text

0 notes

projecthipster · 1 year ago

Text

The Big Lebowski

“The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners.”

(I think it’s funny when you see conservatives trying to use Sam Elliott’s character up there as a mouthpiece, when he only exists to praise a man they really wouldn’t be likely to.)

It's a good soundtrack, I'll give it that without question.

I don’t remember much of this movie, but I remember the vibes. I’m noticing another pattern as I go through fiction assigned by the crowdsourced and arbitrary Project Hipster selection process. In this case it's that “Hipster Fiction” doesn’t tend to have so much in the way of typical, linear plots. I’m not seeing many classic hero’s journeys here. I guess that makes sense. What defines a hipster movie? It’s one that displays auteurship and filmmaking skill, but maybe not in a way that will be appealing to everyone. The world loves a hero’s journey - just look at Star Wars. The hipster movie will be one less appealing to the mainstream because it focuses less on plot, and more on character development, symbolism, comedy, philosophy, or visuals.

I’m not sure which of those The Big Lebowski is supposed to be. It is a wry sort of comedy, yeah. I’ve also seen it described as one of the few examples of a “Zen movie,” which is an interesting take. A story which espouses forgoing the pursuit of desire. Like The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, this is a story focusing on a hero who defies the conventions of agency, especially male agency. It’s passiveness and acceptance here, not raging against the tide, which saves the day. It may not save the world as in the supernatural dreamscape of Wind-Up Bird, but Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski’s refusal to take up the classical male hero’s active mantle is what saves his own ability to have an okay day despite the chaos of the world he’s thrown into. “The Dude abides” could be a sort of koan, like the Vedic summation of “renounce and enjoy.” Don’t act. Just abide. When you must act, act to sustain the abiding state. So many stories focus on dissatisfaction with mundane life. It’s interesting to see one where a simple and happy mundane life – bowling, keeping afloat, and having a good rug – isn’t just acceptable, it’s the goal.

I’ve also seen The Big Lebowski described as a movie where everyone thinks they’re the main character. It’s like Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions in that way, a counterpoint to great man history, an exercise in sonder, the realization that everyone is their own central hero. Lebowski is less branching than Breakfast, though. It remains focused on the titular character, despite the best narrative intentions of everyone else, to whom The Dude is just a side character bum drifting through.

There’s a lot of narrative weight to the drifting, though. For all that the main plot (which despite all I said, still exists) digs like a noir novel into the slums and mansions of a vaguely timeless Los Angeles, a good portion of the screen time is spent on hanging out and bowling. The bowling alley is the movie’s home, its steady setting of return. All the adventures are just interludes between bowling, which is life.

Anyway. For all that the plot isn’t important, it does kick off pretty quick. A western-pastiche introduction turns the rugged male individualist ideal on its head when it moves beyond gravelly voices and open plains to focus instead on an unshaven Jeff Bridges in a ratty bathrobe drinking coffee cream from the carton inside an early 90s suburban LA bodega. This is our protagonist - and Sam Elliot’s western narrator, a voice from a different, more heroic sort of American male movie, doesn’t know what to make of him. There is not a hero, but there is a man. And that’s all he can see. We learn quickly that this man is, from the hustle culture perspective, little more than that. When some gangsters break into his house looking for a millionaire with his name, they’re not impressed. Neither is The Dude especially plussed. This is where we see the zen master creep in. Most people would have a pretty strong reaction to being waterboarded in their own toilet. The Dude just wants to be left in peace. He does, however, like his rug. This isn’t a materialist desire. The rug isn’t valuable. But the rug really ties the room together - it’s a symbol of aesthetic wholeness, of simple harmony. And a guy pissed on it. So our stoner zen master, while never quite reaching the level of “pissed,” is understandably miffed, and tracks down the Big Lebowski, the Rich Lebowski, who was the real target. It’s Dick Cheney. I don’t know if that was the Coen brothers’ intent – although they set the movie at the time of Operation Desert Storm which Cheney was commanding, so it seem likely – but from a post-Bush-administration perspective, the Jeff Lebowski who represents the polar opposite of our Lebowski, a high-strung paraplegic millionaire, railing at every chance against bums and building himself up as the Great Man – the symbol, if you like, of American Great Man military-industrial capitalist Darwinism – is unmistakably Cheney.

This meeting between the ultimate slacker and the ultimate square, the Coen brothers clearly on the side of the former, spirals beyond the bowling into a hostage plot that somehow ties in porn producers and eccentric artists. This is, like in Pulp Fiction, a 90s Los Angeles full of strange, vaguely anachronistic characters. It wouldn’t be unbelievable for one movie's set of criminals, drifters, and rich rotten-hearters to intersect in passing with the other's. And even with the enjoyably surreal dream sequences cutting in, it’s easy to read the plot itself as a set of dreams interrupting real life, which is to say, bowling. Again like Pulp Fiction, back in the day, by which I mean 2011 or so, these sequences were quote factories for early-middle social media memes. That’s just, like, your opinion, man. Am I the only one here who gives a shit about the rules? You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole. You know them all. I guess that speaks to the memetic power of solid dialogue screenwriting, or maybe it just speaks to millennial Redditors’ desire to speak online exclusively in 90s movie quotes, a desire that thankfully fizzled out a bit after it peaked with Ready Player One and the mild cringe factor of a life memetic was made boldly apparent. Let’s say it speaks to good screenwriting.

Speaking of not wrong, just an asshole, let’s talk about Walter, just because I hate him so much. It’s always a bit annoying when one of the best written characters in a story is the most insufferable. People who don’t like Holden Caulfield must feel the way I feel about John Goodman’s Walter, a gun-toting All-American (derogatory) lump of agression who can’t shut up about Vietnam and constantly punches down at Steve Buscemi’s scrungly wet rat of character Donny, who just wants to be included. He’s the perfect foil to the Dude’s zen flow state, because he’s the representation of the other side, beating against the current to try to make something of himself. But unlike the classical hero struggling against all odds for betterment and victory, Walter achieves nothing by this but to make things worse for everyone around him, and what character arc he has - what character arc the whole movie has - involves him becoming incrementally more like his buddy the Dude. It's a good thing that making things worse for everyone in the movie makes the movie more fun to watch. That doesn’t redeem him though.

As a final note, apparently this movie has one of the highest counts ever of the word “fuck” appearing in its dialogue. It’s #32, after the likes of Goodfellas, Straight Outta Compton, Uncut Gems, and The Wolf of Wall Street. The top spot, above even a documentary about the word itself, goes to a Canadian-produced universally panned Trailer Park Boys spinoff. I’ll consider that a point of national pride I guess. 🇨🇦 Fuck. 🇨🇦

I give this Hipster Movie a spare out of strike.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the thirteenth list, The Definitive Guide to Hipster Movies.

Up next: a book I once surprised a French schoolteacher with by taking it out of my bag during a conversation about it over lunch at a barbeque joint and punk venue.

Stay deck.

#hipster #project hipster #long posts #movies #the big lebowski

0 notes

lboogie1906 · 1 year ago

Text

Mark Alexander Knox (born April 15, 1970) known as Flex Alexander or Flex, is an actor, comedian, and dancer. He is known for his roles as Reggie Coltrane on Where I Live, Tyberius Walker on Homeboys in Outer Space, Neville Waston on Total Security, and the first Darnell Wilkes on Girlfriends, and as well as single father Flex Washington on One on One. He starred in the reality television sitcom Flex & Shanice and even has a recurring role on Mixed-ish, The Family Business, Grey’s Anatomy, and In the Cut.

As a teen, he began dancing in New York nightclubs earning the nickname “Flex” due to his acrobatic dance skills. After being discovered by DJ Spinderella, he began touring with the rap trio Salt-N-Pepa and remained with the dance troupe for three years. He choreographed for Mary J. Blige and Queen Latifah. He made his stand-up comedy debut and turned to acting, making his film debut in Juice. He was a regular cast member of the sketch comedy show, Uptown Comedy Club. He guest-starred on episodes of Sister, Sister, and The Cosby Mysteries. He co-starred in Total Security, Brooklyn South, and The Parkers, and he had roles in several films including Backroom Bodega Boyz, and She’s All That.

He was nominated for three NAACP Image Awards and two BET Comedy Awards. He portrayed Michael Jackson in the biopic Man In The Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story, which garnered him another NAACP Image Award nomination.

He had roles in Snakes on a Plane and The Hills Have Eyes 2. He had a role in Poor Boy’s Game and CSI: Miami.

He is a born-again Christian and a member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity. He is married to singer Shanice Wilson (2000) and they have two children. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #phibetasigma

0 notes

cieranshippyfmp2 · 1 year ago

Text

IDEA RESEARCH (Explaining the idea I want to do.)

Here I will be looking at the two Ideas I came up with. I'll be researching all those side things and then homing them down to the idea I want to do and vies versa. I was going to do The second one but it sounded stupid, not to say the third one does either, but I summed up stupidly that is why. So I instead I combined Two and Three better and going to research about similar things to that idea, then I am going to take things from that and implement that to the idea I want to do.

Idea one - A character is stuck in an ideal "perfect world", all up to her standards and she documents each day with pride, until over time the reality of it just being an ideal and fake begins to seep through and things become way much worse. Who is that?

RESEARCH

The Truman Show - This one tackles more of how manipulation can be played upon someone to believe that the world they are living in is real, everything they do and touch is based on reality and it just really works, when he realises the actual reality of the situation that non of this is real and is all a deploy just to make comedy out of this guys life

youtube

Ground-Hog Day - A different thing here, instead of a perfect fake world, it is just the real world punishing a man who is always snarky, with each day repeating show the worse out of himself, as he slowly learns that he needs to try and be better as a person.

youtube

Coraline - This one is a fantastic choice, a place full of colour, wonder free treats, places to go that make you want to stay and do more, contrast to the real world being very wet, boring and bland. Which in my opinion is really clever, that the creators spent all their times making the other world so good, despite you not quite trusting the other family you still have that inner child feeling of wanting to just escape from everything and stay there.

youtube

Idea Two and three - The world seems to be a lie and people don't know it, but there are creatures that are sent in to terrorise for some sick entrainment of those in charge. That hope that things will be okay, the chance it will all fail, feeling of regret helplessness.

RESEARCH

The Birds - One thing I like about this movie, is just the randomise of the situation at hand. To all it will just be an ordinary day, however with random attacks from birds without any explanation why things become a tad bit serious. This movie is good at keeping it realistic enough that you feel like you're there waiting for any sign that there could be another attack, afraid to leave in case you get swarmed. and that final scene where the birds look like they took over the Bodega Bay area and watching as the main characters leave, like some sort of victory, despite it being made clear that the worse isn't over yet as even in major areas, like cities are being attacked and it is just that sense of helplessness and fear the movie gives that I like despite its out of place affects the movie and the cast does a good enough job to make the threat itself scary and thrilling, which makes you here for the characters then the effects.

youtube

The Happening - Haven't seen the movie but I heard it didn't do well. However the concept of the movie is really interesting, one day nature, trees anything just cause everyone to commit suicide or to kill others, causing a huge fall in the population and that as a concept is chilling anyway, cause if that actually happened then there would be nothing you could do, other than to blame it on something that at least allowed you some comfort.

youtube

Bird Box - I love this movie, one aspect I love about it; is how it removes the one function of almost every living thing that helps it survive "sight "and completely shove it out the window. Forcing you to do something uncomfortable, that you never done before just to stay alive. Allowing that sense of loss of control, loss of humanity, selfishness.

youtube

The Idea I decided to choose, was Idea one I just feel like that Idea is something I want to do. As I want to focus on my typography and a little art style, focusing more on a story edge, maybe even a diary book cover, or an actual book or diary.

#Youtube

0 notes