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liminalpsych-in-teyvat · 1 year

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Personal Fanfic Themes and Squicks

Themes I’m really into reading/writing and will probably start reading if the writing's even remotely decent, and also my squicks (themes I avoid like the plague, it's a really visceral reaction).

Favorite themes to read and write:

Power dynamics: liege/vassal and master/servant particularly, though any variation on those are great. (Part of why I'm really into Ayato/Thoma and Zhongli/yaksha-but-doesn't-necessarily-need-to-be-Xiao as some of my go-to ships. Other ships I'm into that fit this to some degree though not quite as well are Dainsleif/Halfdan, Dehya/Dunyarzad, Ningguang/Beidou.)

Hurt/comfort, trauma explorations in general, ideally with at least a little comfort somewhere in the story. Self-sacrifice and getting called out on it, overdoing it and being saved from themselves, characters worrying about other characters, self-destructiveness but it gets interrupted by other character(s).

Heavy kink, especially playing with psychological states, fear, objectification, risk, overwhelm, subspace, topspace, emotional sadism, helplessness, CNC. Lots of mechanisms and more specific kinks (eg impact play, bondage, knife/blade/insert-weapon-here play, physical sadomasochism/pain play, etc) can aid those states, but the mechanism matters less for my interest than the state itself.

Polyamory / non-monogamy: Bonus points if it involves proper communication, negotiations, and isn't automatically easy and perfect. (Ships I particularly like for this: Kaveh/Alhaitham/Ayato/Thoma which is slightly a crackship and I don't care, Zhongli/Childe/Xiao, Ayato/Thoma/Kazuha.)

Political intrigue: I loved Ayato's story quest and will absolutely read anything in that vein; same with the social intrigue part of Thoma's hangout. Game of Thrones, West Wing, Kushiel's Dart kind of stuff.

Slow burns, pining, misunderstandings that add more tension and sadness, but with an eventual resolution/coming-together.

Squicks:

Incest and anything remotely close to it (won’t touch adoptive incest or step-relative incest either, yes that means I'm not going anywhere near Diluc/Kaeya content)

Pregnancy and mpreg: It’s just a body horror thing for me, and probably partially related to gender stuff, but it’s strong enough of a squick that I’ll even pass on a fic if it has “breeding kink” even just as dirty talk. Automatic turnoff which is unfortunate, because it’s so common in Alpha/Beta/Omega fic which otherwise has a lot of the themes I enjoy.

Some kink related squicks (see behind the cut at the bottom of the post)

Student/teacher or client/therapist dual relationships. Why do these squick me out when master/servant and liege/vassal don't? I'm not sure, maybe because liege/vassal or master/servant are so abstracted outside my lived experience, so they're very much in the realm of fantasy. Versus feeling angry at even a fictional teacher or therapist for being Very Unethical and at the narrative for supporting/condoning it. Boss/employee is a context-and-author-dependent middle ground (e.g. I love Baizhu/Herbalist Gui in Teyvat, but modern AUs where a character is a CEO or manager and the love interest is one of their direct reports or employees is pretty close to a squick).

Just kinda meh, has to look really interesting or be by a writer I’m a huge fan of before I’ll try it:

AUs, unless it’s only a slight variation (eg the standard canon setting with this one twist).

Crossovers. Nothing wrong with them, just not interested in reading unless I'm really into both of the settings involved.

Ships that aren’t queer in some way. (It can be a male/female ship, but I'm not interested if it's heteronormative/cisnormative/mononormative. Best example of this is that Gomez and Morticia's relationship is absolutely queer, in the sense of being "queered" from normative relationship structures. Esp. since the Addams family is literally designed to be queered from "traditional nuclear family" norms. Talking about how untraditional the "traditional nuclear family" is will be outside the scope of this post and way too off topic.)

Love triangles that end in monogamy when they could easily be solved with nonmonogamy and open communication (e.g. all three people get along, two of them just happen to love the same person. It's a different story if all three people do not get along and there's actual emnity for reasons outside the love triangle, that can be way more interesting. but if I'm just wanting to shake the characters and go "this is false tension, there is a solution, just talk to each other, you can just date both people, they'll probably even be okay with it", look, I deal with that enough in mainstream media, I want better in my fanfic).

Tragedy/sad endings. I'm warming up to this one, used to avoid it constantly, but now I sometimes write/roleplay/read it and find it satisfying at times. But I have to be in the mood for it, or it has to be by someone whose writing I really like/trust.

Hurt-no-comfort, dubcon without comfort/repair, actual non-consent: Have to really be in a particular mood or the author has to be one I really like and trust. And probably I need a chaser of a more fluff story to feel better afterwards.

Pure fluff: I'll read it if I'm really needing something fluffy, but too often it feels disingenuous, saccharine, or out of character.

Kink squicks:

Scat or urine or vomit: Most bodily fluids, really, but I can deal with spit/semen/vaginal secretions, and sweat and blood are perfectly fine.

Food play: Look. Stickiness just grosses me out, okay? It's the same core problem as bodily fluids, I think.

Forced feminization or feminization kink: Not a particularly visceral squick, but I'm not into reading it and will usually scroll on past if it's "male identifying character wears a dress/maid outfit/etc and other-character is super into it". I suspect this is a Gender Issue for me as a transmasc nonbinary person because of how uncomfortable I feel as myself when pressured to present feminine, as I certainly don't have any issue when it's a person who identifies feminine in some way (my nesting partner is transfeminine nonbinary and I get so delighted when xe dresses up, for example, and my girlfriend is a cis woman and I love her feminine presentations. It's just when someone is feminizing counter to their identity and is having embarassment about it and it's made into a sexy thing that I get super uncomfortable and I Don't Grok It as a kink… Which when I say it that way, makes perfect sense as to why, given my own history.)

#about me #writing #fanfic #squick #narrative kinks #genshin impact #my writing

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babygirlaffirmations · 10 months

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11-19-23

Things to journal about yesterday

DND - sexy time and naps: sucking Master's cock. Distracting him and making him moan during. Laying down and having 10-15 cummies by his foot. Feeling content with mischief and taking a nap. ❤️ The cheeky process. Master starts removing his pants without me even needing to say anything. I cheekily slide the kneeling pad over. Then put down my phone on the table. And remove my glasses.

Zoo - zoo lanterns. Very pretty. Was sad Master wasn't present in the beginning due to texting. But we got a cute photo together and it was gorgeous. We got overwhelmed together and it went by fast.

Permanent bracelet - Master taking the tool and putting on the bracelet that doesn't come off. Around the same time as contract. Gorgeous. Matches my collar in a different color. Another sign of his ownership over me.

Contract- contract is officially signed. Officially under contract to my amazing Master.

Monster under the covers- First time playing monster under the covers with Daddy. I loved it. He started touching my princess parts under the cover. Told him to tell Daddy when the monster attacks and to be quiet. Daddy asked if the monster had gotten inside me as he fingered me. I giggled and said no. And we both laughed really hard. Clearly the monster was inside. So Daddy had to use his cock to fight the monster. I told Daddy he had to breed me for the monster to be gone for good. Was so hot. Hoping to make a fet writing about this one. Delicious.

Burger date- Took Daddy for his first date at habit Burger. Was cute. Got to snuggle together in the booth for a bit while he caught up on my fetlife writings and Tumblr journals.

Up movie date in bed- Daddy introduced me to one of his fav movies, UP. It was cute. Sad. Hilarious. I loved it. I asked for a pause before the end of the movie. And then Daddy gave me like 20 cummies. Asked for Daddy's cock to fuck me. He wasn't in the headspace. Completely okay. But now I'm lusting for him to fuck my pussy again extra. 🤤🥴

Watching true and the rainbow kingdom- we watched the spooky special episode together. It was really cute.

Things to journal about today:

Sadness in packing and waking up- we always prepack most of the stuff the night before due to 7am wakeup those days. Was sad packing. Doing last sleep in his arms. Last cuffs he did where he could grab the chain and make me a whimper and made my pussy tingle. And say Mine if he desires. Doing last walk through. Last Master dressing his babygirl for a while.

Cute hair braids- Master braiding my hair at the class site. Two small braids. And one big braid. Butterfly hair piece semi close to the bottom. And 3 tiny butterfly clips. Yellow, green, and pink.

Yogi- cute time with Daddy showing me the YouTube channel I'll be using for my new obedience daily habit. And us both doing it horribly. Looking at his butt. It was fun. Silly older Daddy. 😉

Bonding in the classroom with data entry- sitting on my pet bed on the ground at his feet while he played a game. Did data entry. And then we did a quick update to his fetlife profile. Master gave me I think 3 verbal cummies today in person. And one was as I hugged him behind while he sat in the chair. And he held my hands to his chest during.

Daddy hugging me tights- big crunchy Daddy hugs and snuggles in the morning half asleep. And in my apartment before he left. I already miss his sweet messy bed head. Looking over at his cute face occasionally in the middle of the nights.

Big sads- lots of panic attacks today. Editing this at 11:11. Just made 11:11 pm wish just now. He left me at about 1:30. Last time was closer to 4. Was a bit sad about that. But we had class not show up today and got extra time for data entry and stuff. And another empty class before where we drove to it and had the hard talk. Did pros and cons list etc. And read that chapter of Kushiel's dart and Master explained it to me a bit while he did contract rough draft.

Target adventure with toys and food- bought 2 minis for me. Food for us to eat in the car in the parking lot before he left. Introduced him to Oreo cakesters and we split a pack. Also dino teether that's also a fidget. Excited for that one. Got to hold his hand. Had the weirdest cummies on the way to target. I think 11. But most I was cumming but overwhelmed knowing he was leaving soon so I was crying. Seeing Daddy lick and suck his fingers after he gives me cummies and finger fucks my pussy is always so hot. Daddy and I need more kissies. He's such a good hot sexy kisser. Takes my breath away. And gives me butterflies.

Last Starbucks and Starbucks brefast- Daddy had a coffee and two ham and cheese breakfast sandwiches. I got one for squeezy baby food. A muffin. And a bagel I couldn't make myself eat.

Going home in Daddy's sweater- mwahaha. Victory. Haven't taken it off yet. Just sniffed just now. Daddy scented and feeleded.

15 cummies today. 290 total. Holy fuck.

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mrbexwrites · 1 year

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Happy STS! What is the best novel you've ever read? What did you like about it, from a storytelling perspective? Has it influenced or informed your own approach?

Hi there!

Belated happy STS and thanks for the ask!

Whilst not a single book, my favourites that I read over and over again is the Watch books within the Discworld Series. In addition to the humor, Terry Pratchett has fantastic social commentary, wry asides/footnotes, and characters who just feel so real.

I don't think I'm anywhere close to matching Pterry's style and observations about society, but I think I share his social justice awareness when it comes to punching up, and rooting for the wee person. And I hope that my characters feel somewhere near his in their 'realness'!

That said, I think my own writing style is probably closest to Jacqueline Carey. My older stories (high fantasy book series that I sort of abandoned 1/3rd of the way through the final book <.<) is heavily influenced by her Kushiel Series, but also Elizabeth Hayden's Rhapsody trilogy (the first one...not so much the second series- we don't talk about those books!)

Memento Mori I feel, is stylistically, close to the Agent of Hell trilogy, or the Saints Astray duology by Carey; fun, easy to read, pop culture fluff, which is my guilty pleasure.

(I've read a lot of the classics, and 'highbrow' novels, but due to a telling off from an English teacher about my own personal reading choices starting off with Goosebumps, Animorphs, Point Horror- my childhood gateway books into other fantasy/sci-fi authors, I've always felt weird about admitting that I can enjoy 'cheesy' books as well. Like, reading is supposed to be fun! I have a weird hangover about admitting to reading some of the stuff that I've read, mainly due to other people's judgement about not reading 'proper' books. And that attitude is why a lot of people don't like reading!! But I digress from your ask- sorry! I have a lot of pent up issues, clearly!!)

I think I've learnt a lot from the authors that I have read- I try to pick up what I like about others' writing styles. And whilst I don't emulate them, I will often adapt some of their techniques into my own writing. (Conversely, I see what doesn't work, and avoid it- everyone has something to teach you!)

I try to read widely and don't stick to just one genre- but I do love me sci-fi, fantasy and crime novels. I like the 'what-ifs' about them;

"What if we had magic?", "What if we had this technology", "What if this person did it?" I eat those tropes up like a greedy little hobgoblin and then regurgitate them back into my own works!

And with that *ahem* lovely mental image, I'll stop rambling now!

Thanks again for the ask! Have a great day :D

#STS #sorry im late #thanks for the ask #what a great question #sorry for the rant #answered asks

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dreamerinsilico · 2 years

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Book ask time! 1, 15, and 19 :D

book you’ve reread the most times?

I'm preeeeetty sure that's either Kushiel's Dart, by Jacqueline Carey, or one of the Wayward Children books by Seanan McGuire. (Probably Down Among the Sticks and Bones or Come Tumbling Down, because those are my favorites and I have reread them a LOT.)

15. recommend and review a book.

I just finished The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, by Natasha Pulley, and I would be delighted to recommend it. It is the story of a British government clerk whose life is saved by a mysterious pocketwatch that was left in his flat one day, and the Japanese watchmaker who made it.

It is a little slow to get into (which is why I didn't read it when I received it as a gift in 2016; I was finishing grad school then and did not have much mental energy to spare); while clearly there is Something Weird going on with Mr. Mori, the watchmaker, it's hard to believe he's the person who actually made the bomb that his watch saved Thaniel from, despite another expert's assertion that the remains of the bomb trigger mechanism bear the hallmarks of his work.

If you don't know ahead of time - though I'm about to tell you! which will hopefully convince more people to read it (there is a tiny fandom with some good fic and it could use some more!) - the fact that it's actually a romance really sneaks up on you. I went into it without knowing anything except that my dad had given it to me after he read and loved The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern) on my recommendation, and said that this book had made him feel a similar sort of wonder.

This made me sure it couldn't possibly be queer despite the neon signposts in that direction for quite a while. xP (My dad, while generally on the progressive side for a rich, cishet white male boomer... does not voluntarily read a lot of queer fiction.) So I got a very pleasant surprise! But I don't think one loses anything from knowing it's a queer romance going into it; it's absolutely delightful to watch it unfold in its meandering, quietly lyrical sort of way.

The story is set in a fictionalized 19th century, with clockwork that can do things it really shouldn't, and a few other supernatural elements; I think I'd classify it as "steampunk-esque," but not really steampunk. It's more that it sits adjacent to that aesthetic category. There's some exploration of themes of nationalism and cultural shifts (and British cultural hegemony), but they're secondary to the development of relationships between the characters, and may be a bit too... British in perspective... for some readers. (Clan na Gael/Clann na nGael, a historical Irish republican group, plays the role of something of a bogeyman; they are the architects of some major bombings around London during the course of the story, and the way the story pokes at Japanese cultural shifts was interesting to me but felt a bit under-resolved.)

At any rate, if you like understated, slow-burn romance (with a side of found family and trauma-processing), it's very worth a read!

19. most disliked popular books?

This one's a little difficult, because when I don't like a book I tend to just not finish it, and I more or less forget about it.

However.

I do have one I can talk about.

Brandon Sanderson is a behemoth in SFF these days; the man is wildly creative with his worldbuilding and publishes new books like, well, (*looks up at previously review and rolls eyes*) clockwork. I have somewhat mixed, but mostly very positive opinions of his work.

If I hadn't been reading The Hero of Ages, the final book in the first Mistborn trilogy, on my Kindle, I probably would have thrown it across the room when I finished it. I couldn't stop bitching about it to anyone who would listen for the rest of the day. :P Basically, the actual protagonists' actions through the whole book were meaningless, they die in each others' arms, and the character who spends the whole series doing nothing but navel-gazing becomes God and fixes everything. It's the most infuriating ending to a book series I otherwise liked I've read, before or since.

(I guess I can also give a dishonorable mention to Hannibal, by Thomas Harris, which is kind of spectacularly bad given how good Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs are, but like... I'm not sure I can say I disliked it, precisely, because I was aware it was going to be bad going in, so I just had a lot of fun taking notes on how often various characters thought about penises. Spoiler alert, it's a lot and it gets funnier every single time.)

#ask memes #books #thanks for memeing me!#thenakrodeservedbetter #the watchmaker of filigree street #mistborn #hannibal #the book not the show (for once)#wayward children #kushiel's dart

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a-dandelion-dreamer · 4 years

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Books with Bisexual Characters

I’ve always been a book lover, and lately I’ve been taking note of some of the bi characters I meet along my journey. I thought I’d share some book recommendations.

First, In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. I love this book so much—it’s honestly one of my favourites. It features a bisexual protagonist, Elliot Schafer, who goes across a wall into a magical, fantasyland and actively rebels against its war-like ways, choosing to draft treaties instead. He’s a snarky, grumpy, pacifist who has relationships with people of multiple genders throughout the course of the book. This book is super funny. Seriously, it made me laugh out loud on more than occasion. It also features truly phenomenal character development and explores the joys and trials of friendship between Elliot and his two best friends Luke Sunborn (the shy golden boy, born to a warrior family) and Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle (a bold elf whose society’s gender roles are completely flipped). Shenanigans ensue.

A quote:

“‘Why is language in the Borderlands so weird? Some of it’s modern, and some of it’s medieval, and I guess that makes sense with the influx of a certain amount of new blood to the training camp every year, but how do some words and phrases transfer, while others don’t? Why do you know the word ‘jerk’ and not the word ‘bisexual’?’

‘I guess people say the first word more,’ said Luke.”

Next, The Nevernight Chronicle by Jay Kristoff. This epic three book series features badass bisexual Mia Corvere. It’s dark, bloody and heart-breaking, with an endless series of twists. Mia’s parents were killed during their attempt to start a rebellion and her quest for revenge leads her to join a school for assassins. Follow Mia’s journey as she attempts to bring down the leaders of the Republic with her constant companion, Mister Kindly, the wise-cracking shadow-that-is-shaped-like-a-cat. I loved this series as well. It’s a very different tone from the recommendation above (don’t get attached to your faves!) and it’s marked as adult fantasy (be prepared for sex and violence), so be warned, but wow, is it a wild ride!

Books by Ellen Kushner!!! I recently discovered her and I’m in love. Ellen Kushner herself is bi and has a wife who is also a writer. The two of her books I’ve read so far are Swordspoint (published 1987!) and The Privilege of the Sword. Both are fantasy of manners with bisexual duelists as protagonists. Swordspoint features Richard St Vier, an elite swordsman, as well as his close companion (and lover) Alec, a sarcastic scholar with a mysterious past. The Privilege of the Sword is set in the future of the same world, featuring a young girl named Katherine (who I love with all my heart) as she’s called by her uncle to the city to embark upon a path nontraditional to a lady, that of a swordsman. Both are excellent and super fun!

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee. Meet Lord Henry “Monty” Montague as he embarks upon a Grand Tour of Europe (the historical fiction version of a road trip) with his best friend Percy (who he’s hopelessly in love with) and his sister Felicity (who’s ace and has her own follow-up book which I also recommend – the Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy). Monty is charming, privileged, hilarious and the definition of a disaster bisexual. Follow along as the three of them stumble into hijinks and character development.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. Our main girl Frances Janvier is a study machine whose only respite from academics is the fan art she draws for a podcast called Universe City. Then one day, the mysterious narrator asks her if she wants to collaborate. In a relatable turn, Frances is bi, but it’s just a part of her identity and the focus of the book is not a romance. Instead, it’s all about friendship and finding platonic soulmates and figuring out what you want to pursue in life. Alice Oseman’s writing is lovely and she tackles issues that feel very modern and relatable. I’ll also mention her webcomic (which you can find online for free) Heartstopper, which follows the romance between two boys Charlie Spring and Nick Nelson (and includes Nick’s bisexual crisis).

A quote:

“And I’m platonically in love with you.”

“That was literally the boy-girl version of ‘no homo’, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. Speaking of bisexual crises, meet Alex Claremont-Diaz, whose mother is the President of the United States. His long-time rival, Henry, is a prince of England, and after an incident involving an expensive cake, the two are forced to fake a bromance for the sake of international relations. Actual romance blossoms instead.

Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. In the land of Terre d’Ange, the motto is “Love as thou wilt”. Phèdre is a bisexual courtesan who receives pleasure from pain. Another adult fantasy (published 2001!), our heroine trains as a spy and is increasingly entangled in a web of politics and plots.

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater. This series is well-known, but I love it! Maggie Stiefvater’s prose is atmospheric, littered with small details that reward a reread, and her character relationships are complex. This series is a gem full of magical realism. Here’s a shout-out to our bisexual boy, Adam Parrish!

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Again, another popular book (part of a duology), but the hype is totally deserved! A diverse crew sets out on an impossible heist. Let’s send some love to two bisexual icons, Jesper Fahey and Nina Zenik!

A quote:

“If only you could talk to girls in equations.”

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they’d created in the link, Wylan said, “Just girls?”

Jesper restrained a grin. “No. Not just girls.”

Those are some of my favourites that I’ve come across so far. Hopefully I’ll find some more! I’m always open to book recommendations, especially those that feature queer ladies :)

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aliatori · 3 years

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Good afternoon, I would like to hear your answer to as many of those questions as you feel inclined to answer! (Maybe with the exception of X)

Thank you for this. 🖤 I decided to limit myself to three and went with A, C, and F.

A: What do you write?

I write original fiction, fanfiction, poetry, and essays. Contrary to what my current projects and AO3 history suggest, I got my start with poetry way back in middle school and have written it on and off since.

Original fiction has been my most prolific love, aside from several stints in various fandoms when I get hit with the obsession bug. In addition to the Hubriel stuff, I am slowly strangling an original novella into submission to self publish.

Essays are new to me and have been a way to process a lot of my gender, transition, and mental health stuff. I don’t know that they will ever see the light of day, but the tight focus and nonfiction exploration have been interesting.

C: Who is your favourite character of your own? Who is your favourite character created by someone else? Why?

I’m going to cheat a little on the question I chose for myself and choose two favourite characters. Of works available on the internet, I don’t think it comes as a surprise I have a deep love for one Commodore Hugo Melançon.

I have a soft spot for characters who fit the ‘still waters running deep’ saying, and Hugo is that. In addition to being 6’1” of ruthless, competent, elegant bastard, he’s far more emotionally aware than most people catch on to, and characters who feel and empathize deeply but show little are like catnip to me. He’s incredibly loyal despite circumstances conspiring to give him very few people or organizations to fully place that loyalty in; his captaincy of the Squall was definitely the high point for his loyalty being rewarded. Until it wasn’t. Ha.

On top of that, he’s resilient and determined as hell, a fighter in every sense of the word (not unlike a certain Furysworn who used to fight at his side instead of against him, screams into the shippy winds). On top of that, he’s deeply flawed: he often thinks his way is the best and only way, his trust issues at this point are astronomical, and he’s often blinded by the same emotions he’s so determined not to show. In trying to plan six steps ahead, he often misses what’s right in front of his face—which is one of the ways he and Gab complemented each other when they weren’t at murderous odds.

The other favourite character I can’t go without mentioning is an original character I sometimes tag on here but haven’t talked much about publicly, Apex Falls. They are a Leo sun, charismatic, Juilliard trained pianist in addition to an over the top, nonbinary icon. In addition to being about as opposite from me as humanly possible, it was really cathartic and helpful to spend literal years writing from a nonbinary character’s POV. They have their own sci-fantasy canon that I hope one day to write.

For other favourite characters written by someone else, I have to give a shout-out to @stopmopingstarthoping’s Lukas, who I hope to one day read at length about. @xylianna’s Morgan also has a soft spot in my heart. And @roadsoftrial’s Rio has not only given me some style inspiration but has spawned 200k+ of several AUs and even more besides.

F: What is your favourite book? Favourite author?

My favourite book hands down is This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. It combines poetry, time travel, and sapphic enemies to lovers epistolary romance, which is basically my entire brand. I absolutely love it and own a special edition of it as well.

As far as favourite authors, that’s a bit harder, and since I can’t choose one I will break it into categories. Jacqueline Carey wrote the first openly bisexual woman protagonist in fantasy I fell in love with, and the Kushiel’s Legacy fandom and world has a forever place in my heart. Becky Chambers is one of my few auto-buy authors and has a style I aspire to in writing; emotional, heartfelt, and deeply human stories set in speculative worlds. And Nino Cipri’s work has changed my life fundamentally in a lot of ways—their stories are infused with a great blend of horror and emotion and are all unapologetically queer.

#ali answers #forgive the formatting I’m on Tumblr mobile and this website is hot garbage

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anguisette90 · 3 years

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Mid Year Freakout Tag!

Tagged by the always wonderful @over-a-rainbow.

1. Best book you have read in 2021 so far?

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin. Absolutely beautiful and compelling and weird in the best way.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read In 2021 So Far?

Gonna have to cheat and dip back into late 2020 because most of what I've read this year have been stand-alone or first in a series and of the two sequels I've read, calling either 'best' seems questionable. So, I'm going with Saints Astray by Jacqueline Carey, both because it managed to be super fun and also to make me cry at the same time, and because it was something so completely different than the first book (Santa Olivia) but still felt like an organic continuation of the story.

3.A New Release You Want To Check Out?

The Hidden Palace by Helene Wecker. Kind of cheating with this as well, in that I still haven't read The Golem and the Jinni, but my wife read it a few years back and it's been on my to-read list since due to her rave reviews. I'm looking forward to reading both soon (though 'soon' could mean tomorrow or two years from now at the rate I go.)

4. Most Anticipated Book Release Of The Second Half Of The Year?

I don't know if there's anything I'm particularly looking forward to, though I welcome suggestions of things I should be anticipating! My only pre-order so far for the rest of 2021 is the Lore Olympus book, which I'm eagerly awaiting but, y'know, I've already read it online a couple of dozen times so...

5.Biggest Disapointment?

I hate to say it but the October Daye books, by Seanan McGuire. Not that they're bad just, I think I went into it with my expectations too high. It's got everything I love, but somehow I got three or four books in and just felt astoundingly meh about it.

6. Biggest Surprise?

The Darker Shade of Magic books by V.E. Schwab. It wasn't the series I expected it to be going in, and honestly I expected to be at least two tiers higher on the obsession chart with it than I am, but it did a lot of things that I didn't expect. The plot was mostly predictable and there are a lot of things you see coming from a mile away, but the joy of these books is definitely in the journey and the little things in between. Nothing shakes out exactly how you imagine which is enjoyable. She also does really fun things with her word choice and writing style. "Her words were hollow, and his own fear ricocheted inside them, filling the space." is possibly my favorite sentence.

7. Favorite New Author (Ether New To You Or Debut).

New implies that I don't just read the same five authors over and over. Honestly, my Kindle history is just like "Really? You're reading this again? You know there are hundreds of books in your account right? Fine, I guess here's (*insert any Dresden book, any of the Kushiel books, or the Phantom Tollbooth*)" This ignores David Eddings because when I reread his works I read from my print copies.

8. Favorite New Fictional Crush?

Toss up between Rhy the himbo prince, and Alucard the ludicrously named pirate, both from ADSOM. I mean, honestly that episode of Parks & Rec where they're talking about Game of Thrones and Donna's like "Everybody on that show can get it!"? That, but with the cast of that book series.

Honorable mention to Navani from Stormlight. Turns out once Sanderson lets her have POVs for something other than Dalinar's character development she's amazing and I both want her and want to be her? But this was also a late 2020 discovery so, honorable mention.

9. Newest Favorite Character?

Rereading The Elenium/Tamuli by David Eddings for the first time since I was a wee person and I fully did not appreciate Sparhawk and the sheer big d*ck energy he brings to the table as a child. I mean, my gods, the man is ridiculous.

10. A Book That Made You Cry?

None yet this year. Does @laurabeatrix 's fic beautiful short story inspired by contemporary works count? Legit the only story to make me cry so far this year.

11. A Book That Made You Happy?

Dawnshard by Sanderson. I ended up reading it out of order, because I agreed to read it with the wife and she reads slow, so I read Rhythm of War first and circled back to it when she got caught up (and then re-read half of Rhythm of War over her shoulder, which is what normally happens with new books that we're both fans of.) But it was such a perfect novella and I'm always glad for more Rysn.

12. Most Beautiful Book You Have Bought or Received This Year?

Aesthetically beautiful? Either our Way of Kings leatherbound books (can't remember if they arrived in 2020 or 2021) or that gorgeous Grim Oak edition of Storm Front.

Beautifully written has to go to The City We Became again. I'm actively in love with the way it's written.

13. What Book Do You Need To Read By The End Of The Year?

Clan of the Cave Bear - because it's a friend's "I've read this series fifteen times and I need to be able to geek out about it with other people!" series, and as someone who will not shut up about the Dresden Files, I feel morally obligated to read other peoples' unhealthy obsessions.

The Ruins of Gorlan - because I promised a fledgling nerd (friend's son) that I would read it. As someone who was once a fledgling nerd myself, I can recall being stoked any time one of my mom's super need friends either recommended something to me or took my recommendation so, time to pay it forward.

I'm not tagging anyone because, well, the only people I interact with on Tumblr with any regularity were already tagged in the original post 😂 But if you're seeing this and you're interested, consider yourself tagged.

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bookdorp · 3 years

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Getting back into reading!!!!

For about two years now reading has been hard for me. Even though for most of my life, ever since I learned to read as a kid, I have devoured book after book after book, usually several per month. But for some reason for the past two years I could bearely get through one book every two months.

But two months ago I finally got my reading fire back. Huzzaah! And the book that got me fired up again was (to my utmust and complete surprise and even a little frustration and dissapointment) A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. One of my best friends was doing a re-read and ofcourse the re-read bug bit me too.

When I read this book for the first time 4 years ago, I read it like a masterpiece and loved it so much that I immediatly ordered the second; A Court of Mist and Fury. Which at the time also felt like a masterpiece to me. The second time I read these books was right before the third came out; A court of Wings and Ruin, a book I’d been waiting for and marked in my dairy and even pre-ordered.

So the second time I read ACOTAR, I was slightly dissapointed because I no longer got the rush from it like I did the first time I read it. And to my memory it felt bland next to how I remembered how ACOMAF made me feel, which read like a train the second time I read it, even though I started noticing some small things that bothered me. So eventually I got to the third book; A Court of Wings and Ruin. Which was definitly disapointing to me, even reading it for the first time. I was expecting to love it.

Now, we are a few years later and I’ve just read ACOTAR and ACOMAF all over again. And I’m grateul to these books for getting me into reading again. And to my surprise, this time I preferred ACOTAR over ACOMAF. (MINDBLOWN!)

I no longer think this series is a masterpiece (anything but) but it’s an easy read, you don’t need to think too hard, the writing is pretty simple and sometimes even pretty. The plot is never complicated and, honestly, I do love myself some good smut.

ACOTAR

So ACOTAR Round 3: I really liked it best this time. Especially because the plot is so much smoother than ACOMAF and ACOWAR, and most important, it’s THERE, it’s visible, it’s noticable. Every little thing the characters do, especially Lucien and Tamlin, make sense at some point. Things just click once you get to Under The Mountain. And I love that in books! Books that leave hints for you to pick up on (or not), so nothing seems like its a sudden *gasp* suprise! I mean, plot twists are fantastic, but only if they’re executed well. When you feel something coming or you pick up the bread-crumbs left througout the story, and even though you don’t know how to put them together yet, you know they mean something and it will make sense in the end. And ACOTAR gave me this! It all made sense in the end:

-The mention of Tamlin’s heart of stone several times

- The vague mentions of a plague or blight on the land

- Lucien and Tamlin purposely letting her spy and figure things out on her own

You know, those little things, that all become more logical at the end. I really appreciate that in a book.

The Love story between Tamlin and Feyre was also nice. It’s wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. I’m still not sure if Tamlin truly loves her but I do believe he cares about her a lot in this book. After all, he is being nice to her on purpose and that purpose is to save his people and ending a curse. So does he love Feyre or does he love what she could represent for the future of his people? But I am convinced he cares about her lot, otherwise he wouldn’t have send her away before UTM to save her and so condemn his own people. So maybe there was some love in the end.

The ending itself was great. I loved that Feyre ended up solving the riddel, I only thought the riddle was a little obvious? I mean, I figured it out before Feyre did (even at the first read), but being good or bad at riddles isn’t something I can judge a person for. I think it was amazing Feyre died before being Made Fae, even if, secretely, I would have loved for her to have stayed human. That would have been an interesting story too.

There were definitly consequences for the main characters to work through at the end of the book. Something I looked forward too in book 2. And each character has their good parts and bad parts and the writing accepts that and doesn’t apolagize for it. No one loves perfect characters (looking at you ACOMAF Rhys and Feyre!).

So I finished ACOTAR with a happy feeling.

ACOMAF

On to ACOMAF, knowing that I loved it in Round 1, was dissapointed in Round 2. And in Round 3 I found myself somewhere in between love and disapointment.

Things I loved (because you always start with the positive:

- The slowburn romance building. Was it eye-rolling at times? Definitly. it’s not my favorite romance couple of all books (Phèdre and Jocelin from Kushiel’s Dart *chef’s kiss*) but I liked how it build slowly and how both of them were given the time to get to know eachother.

- The Inner Circle. Always nice to welcome new characters into a story. I love their love and friendship, their banter in amusing, and I’m a sucker for found family.

- Learning more about Prythian. We go to so many more places then in ACOTAR. In ACOTAR we only got the human realm, Tamlin’s Mansion and Under The Mountain. In ACOMAF we get Spring Court, Human Realm, Night Court, Velaris, The Prison, Weaver’s Hut, Illyrian places, and (most importantly!) Adriata. So many Courts out there and we are now on Court 3! So much more to explore!

- Lucien. I just really like his character. He’s both a good guy and a bad one. He tries. He wants to be loyal to his only friend, support him and help him, and that is so admirable, but at the cost of Feyre. Which is bad. He is just so conflicted. The right thing to do is not so easy from his point of view. For Feyre it’s easy: yes, he should just help her and stand up for her. But from his own point of view he sees a Court, his Court, that has been devastated for 50 years, his friend comes back broken and in pieces, and in the end he’s only known Feyre for 6 months or so? I understand him chosing the Spring Court and Tamlin before anything else. Even if it’s terrible for Feyre. And it does makes him something of a coward. But he tries to the best of his abilities, even if it’s not enough. I love the duality of Lucien. This is what makes a character interesting: the good AND the bad. Because he did, UTM, help Feyre as much as Rhys did. He healed her, warned her during the Myddengard Wyrm thing. He tried. But he’s not al all powerful High Lord who has somewhat gained the trust of Amarantha.

And in ACOMAF he still tries though it’s obvious he’s chosen Tamlin. He’s allowed to do that, even if it makes him an awefull friend towards Feyre. It doesn’t make him a terrible villain monster.

The only thing agree with does make him the worst, is him trying to force Feyre to go back with him in the woods. And yet he did that for Tamlin. All of it, all of what he does, is (in his mind) in the name of friendship and protecting his Court. The goal is good, the means are wrong.

Anyway I like Lucien, even if we didn’t get much of him in ACOMAF.

The things I was dissapointed in (because hate is too strong a word):

- The drama of everything. Everyone gets a sob story, a horrible painful sobstory, because that’s the only way to know if you can like and trust someone I guess? Rhys’s father, mother and sister are murdered, Mor was tortured and brutalized by her own family, Cassian is a bastard that had to fend for himself nearly to starvation, Azriel is a bastard brutalized by his borthers and ignored by his family, and Feyre fits right in I guess. I know it’s fantasy, but please, does no one get a happy childhood in this book? I’d like to include Amren but we really don’t know much about her at this point and we don’t learn much more either.

- Taking away Rhys’s bad boy points??? It made him as interesting as Lucien in my book, the bad he’s done. Why does everything that he did Under The Mountain have to because a ‘Mask’ now. What made him so interesting was because he did all those things thinking he maybe liked them. Now we need to find out he was suffering all along and didn’t want to do it. He just had to to protect his people. I mean, make some things a ‘Mask’ but maybe leave us some bad things because he enjoys them?

- Which leads me to the third things that I disliked: the constant comparison to Tamlin. Suddely, all the good things about Tamlin in ACOTAR disapeared, and Tamlin becomes monster villain number 1 with no good qualities whatsoever. I totally agreed with Feyre staying away from Tamlin for awhile, but to just never go back again? Once she felt like she was strong enough to talk to him, she should have. Was Tamlin in the wrong with how he treated Feyre, YES ABSOLUTELY. But she could have gone back, with Rhys and the Innder Circle for back-up, and sat down with him to talk to him about it. I wish an attempt was made. But I think we all know that Sarah just needed us to hate Tamlin to make Rhys look more perfect. Feyre shouldn’t go back to Tamlin, after Under The Mountain, they’rr not good for eachother. But Tamlin doesn’t know Rhys is secretly a good guy. Feyre got to know him but no one else in Prythian knows Rhys is just pretending. So it’s incredibly ridiculous to assume that Tamlin knows Rhys is good? Rhys behaved like a villain in public on purpose and it worked. And now they are surprised eveyron thinks Rhys is a villain? Of course Tamlin and Lucien believe Feyre is being controlled or manipulated. It’s why I can understand why they want to force her to come back. they truly don’t know any better.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Feyre complains how Tamlin never asked her how she felt or how he never wanted to talk abou what happened UTM, but she never asked him either. So this shit goes both ways. I feel for Tamlin and I feel for her. They BOTH couldn’t talk about it but everything gets blamed on Tamlin because his behaviour is more outrageous. She should have gone back (WITH BACK-UP) and talked to him. Would have prevented the weird ending

- And that leads me to the ending. Did anyone really think it would be that simple? Just sneak in and out and that’s that? Like. I love clues in books, but this really screamed TRAP AHEAD *Leliane voice is DA Origins*. Also, Rhys is supposed to be the most powerful High Lord ever, but he’s really easy to subdue and trick. I mean, the King of Hybern is supposedly a warlord of masterful cunning....

And the fact they left Amren in Velaris. Everyone seems to agree she’s even more powerful than Rhys. They should have left Mor and Cassian in Velaris and taken Amren and the King of Hybern would have died then and there. Making stupid decisions to further the plot is not fun to read. Write better! But then again, ACOMAF was never really about the plot so if you read this book accepting it’s all about romance building and some smut, it’ll be easier. It’s what I did :P

And some minor annoyances:

- I feel liked everyone’s going to find love in these books. Because being single is BAD I guess. It’s too convenient.

- I would have loved for one weaker character to be in the Inner Circle. Not everyone can be overpowered. Where are my bookworms that make plans and don’t have flashy powers that can make mountains tremble when they orgasm?

- Velaris was too modern? I miss a more fae place? Less with bars and dancings and stores selling lacey underwear? Feyre in leggings and an over-sized sweater annoyed me. Seriously.

And that’s that.

I’m so happy to be reading again! And writing about reading ><

Next is A Court of Wings and Ruin.

#A Court of Thorns and Roses #ACOTAR #A Court of Mist and Fury #ACOMAF #Feyre #Rhys #Tamlin #Lucien #Amren #Morrigan #Cassian #Azriel

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meretricula · 4 years

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I still have not watched The Untamed. Have some fic recs.

So, for context, I've never actually watched The Untamed or read The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation but I have spent the past several weeks chewing my way through the Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian tag on AO3 (with extensive filters, obviously, I'm not superhuman and I do still have a day job) and I finally got to the end, so: here are the ones I liked the best! I have zero first-hand canon knowledge, so I can recommend them secure in the knowledge that you really don't need to have watched or read canon in order to enjoy them. Have fun!

(For the sake of the experiment, I guess, here is what I think happens in this show: there is a Sunshine One (high French ponytail, mostly wears black) and a Grumpy One (very fancy hairpieces and a ribbon headband, always wears white or pale blue). They are both excruciatingly beautiful. They went to magic school together and the Sunshine One spent a lot of time pulling the Grumpy One's pigtails, but never clued into the fact that the Grumpy One is already very embarrassingly in love with him. Blah blah tragedy, blah blah war crimes, blah blah parting of the ways, Sunshine One adopts an orphan child, continuing tragedy & war crimes, then Sunshine One falls off a cliff while Grumpy One stares in very evocative horror. The .gifsets of this moment are very nice. Grumpy One finds Sunshine One's child, takes him home, and raises him as his own child. Timeskip to when their child is his teens, Sunshine One is resurrected in a different body, identity shenanigans, Grumpy One finally gets to be with the love of his life, there is plot but I don't really care about it, they live happily ever after. I'm supposed to start watching tomorrow so I will finally find out which of my inferences are correct!)

Two vids that I really enjoy and are mostly legible without knowing the show's visual shorthand: NFWMB and a love that won't keep still. Grumpy One's face is truly a work of art.

Some cute modern AUs that really don't demand anything from you in terms of background knowledge: The Simplest Way Forward (they're student musicians in the same orchestra who get green card married so that they can adopt the kid who gets ditched at Sunshine One's door), Window Shopping (they're quarantined in apartments opposite each other and Sunshine One's kid wants to see Grumpy One's pet rabbits), Unstrictly Ballroom (they are ballroom dancers but Sunshine One was unjustly banned from competition years ago and Grumpy One has finally found him working in a strip club; I know it sounds cheesy but it is AGONIZING), A Keen Rabbit Lover (they are both women and grad school students and pining disgustingly for each other when everything gets disrupted by Sunshine One VERY BADLY misinterpreting Grumpy One's drunken confession that she "likes rabbits"), your heartbeat, across the grass (Grumpy One is a soccer superstar and the kid Sunshine One babysits for wants to go to a game; I rec this with the caveat that if you know anything about professional soccer the bits about professional soccer are massively unrealistic), Year Of Night Call (they are extremely codependent trauma surgeons who share an on-call bed), And they were roommates... (they're both women and grad students and wind up living together after Sunshine's family throw her out), Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart (Sunshine comes up with a ridiculous fake-dating scheme to throw off their admirers at the Chinese cultural center; Grumpy plays along for reasons that are blatantly obvious to everyone except Sunshine), "Congratulations, Get Rich" (Sunshine tries to start a tradition of kissing at midnight on Chinese New Year so he'll have an excuse to kiss Grumpy), one good thing (Sunshine is a ghost haunting Grumpy's house and Grumpy just happens to come from a long family line of exorcists), Lifelong Confidant (Sunshine has a happy, normal life as a barista-slash-music-teacher and two roommates he loves, except for the tragic past he never talks about -- which is obviously about to make a dramatic reappearance in the person of Grumpy, one of the judges of a celebrity baking show his roommates watch), how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) (college RA and all-around human disaster Sunshine develops an improbable chat relationship with Grumpy, who he assumes is catfishing him by using a moderately famous actor's photos on Tinder but -- obviously -- actually is a moderately famous actor; I don't normally like college AUs but this one is solid and VERY funny); you've ruined my life (by not being mine) (Sunshine and Grumpy met at a summer study abroad program and start texting when they're back in the States but on opposite sides of the country; I also don't normally like high school AUs but this is ADORABLE, if you can stand an excruciatingly slow burn)

Actual canon fic that is pretty easy to follow: my age has never made me wise (Sunshine One wanders off without either of them declaring their feelings and proceeds to pine GROSSLY when he hears gossip that Grumpy One is planning a wedding), A Civil Combpaign (Sunshine One's nephew with whom he has a very tenuous relationship decides he wants to marry Sunshine & Grumpy's only child for "diplomatic reasons"; hilarity ensues; this requires probably the most background knowledge but you'll be able to figure out the relationships from context), Content Warning: Romance (Sunshine One is easily embarrassed by praise, so Grumpy ties him up and tells him how wonderful he is; you will never look at praise kink the same again), the hidden source is the watchful heart (after a year of wandering on his own after the end of the show, Sunshine finally comes home), seldom all they seem (mild canon divergence in which Grumpy and Sunshine are betrothed as children; definitely also read the sequel about Grumpy's beautiful kind-hearted fairy tale prince of a brother and the amoral scheming political mastermind who unfortunately adores him), The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts (their child gets together with his friends and publishes a very popular romance about them in an attempt to rehabilitate Sunshine's reputation, which is not unwelcome but is somewhat puzzling to Sunshine since he is not actually in a relationship with Grumpy), Linger in the Sun (Sunshine joins Grumpy on an educational school field trip investigating a series of hilarious curses, which becomes only slightly less hilarious when Sunshine and Grumpy are the latest victims), come home to my heart (it can have a little bodyswap. as a treat.), anyway, here's wuji (a delightfully over-the-top and melodramatic story about the next generation watching Grumpy and Sunshine eventually get their HEA, and falling in love along the way), hunters seeking solid ground (Sunshine, suffering from years of PTSD nightmares so bad that he may actually be dying of sleep deprivation, finally lets Grumpy give him what he needs and deserves; if you just want to read about someone Suffering, A Lot, so that someone who loves him can make it better, this is the fic and the catharsis is WORTH IT), Grand Pianos Crash Together (uncomplicated post-series get-together fic that's very charming and well done and features an unexpectedly hot first time), My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun (canon divergence in which Sunshine comes up with a madcap crossdressing scheme in order to attend his nephew's christening and inevitably ropes Grumpy in; this story really needs a beta but there are such sweet and lovely moments in it that I keep coming back to reread it anyway), A Crying Shame (canon divergence in which Sunshine's child cries so much at Grumpy leaving them that he just gives up and stays)

Bonus fics which are not modern AUs but aren't really canon either: all your life you'll dream of this (vaguely canon universe but with some fairy tale elements, specifically Cinderella -- no, really! I swear it's good! Grumpy is Cinderella!), debt of a knife (Grumpy is a warlord who has just claimed Sunshine as his captive bride; the premise sounds kind of dubcon-y but all the sex is consensual), turn towards the sun (Kushiel's Dart AU in which Grumpy and Sunshine are BDSM study buddies)

#fic rec #the untamed

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thoughtfulfangirling · 4 years

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@madegeeky asked: Preferences! Melisandre, Michiru, Marisa Coulter, and Rose Armitage (Get Out)

I HAVEN’T EVEN TRIED YET BUT THIS WAS HARD SO IMMA GO WITH GUT HERE!

4. Marisa Coulter. Again, I think she’s a really great character and I like the way she gets to be the stereotype of an awful woman and sort of stares out of the pages like ‘I dare you to tell me I shouldn’t use the tools that I have to face the world on my own terms.’ But I easily get pulled out of a story and look at things from ‘who is telling this story’ and here’s where I get on my obnoxious shit and say that it does gall me a bit that a man writes a woman who fits this trope so well and then turns around and uses motherhood as the vehicle with which he asks us to see her in a three dimensional light. That may not be fair, but it’s a storyline I, as someone who has never desired to be a mother and Heard About That all my life, just am not interested in that sort of redemption. That’s not to say it’s not GOOD, but that it tips the scales to put her at the bottom of this list for me. I can’t relate, and therefore it’s easier for me to sit back and judge rather than be immersed. Which is a ‘me’ problem and not necessarily any sort of narrative problem. I can admit that I Just Don’t Like That.;

3. Rose Armitage. She’s awful and terrible and SHE DOES IT SO WELL. I still get chills the scene where she’s on the phone with the TSA guy and is all emotional and whatnot, but when the camera shows us her talking on the phone, she’s totally deadpan. It’s eerie, and it’s great! The way she switches on and off from having this charisma to just shutting it down... damn girl!

2. Melisande. A lot of this is probably nostalgia because as I’ve mentioned, it’s been A LONG TIME since I read 2 out of 3 of the Kushiel trilogy. To little Furi, she was thrilling! She was badass! She was... kinda hot. etc... I think your reasons for feeling weird about her are VALID AF and as I continue to read them as an adult, I won’t be surprised if that changes. But I love that she fucks up because she can’t get over Phedre even though I suspect that comes more out of a place of possession than anything worth enjoying it from. But I also just love this sort of character who just loves playing the game for the sake of playing the game and while the narrative gets to treat that person like a fully developed character, also is like ‘yeah, this is a bad trait, but also... isn’t it fascinating.’ I don’t know if I had gotten to see a character like that who was a woman prior. I was a little darker as a teen, so whereas now I might see Melisande and be like ‘oh great, another predatory wlw,’ I was at a point where that wasn’t really a thing I was likened to be appalled by. Hell I still didn’t realize how awful Shizuru was in Mai Hime yet 0_o

1. Michiru. I can’t even fully articulate. Especially the Michiru from Doc’s Mystery and Shadow AU. She can be so many different things while the core remains the same and I just... god I love it. Also... just like... copy and paste what you said here?? XD

#isdat #isdat answers #madegeeky #multiple fandoms #sailor Moon #kushiel trilogy #books #tfgoc #spoilers for jet #his dark materials spoilers

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dangermousie · 5 years

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OK, but how is this different

I am reading Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Mercy, which is on track to becoming my favorite in the series, but the one thing that I don’t get is the different attitude towards Sidonie sleeping with Astegal as compared to Imriel sleeping with Sunjata.

OK, quick explanation for anyone who has no idea what I am talking about but is still somehow interested. The Carthaginian general, Astegal, has his evil magician put out a number of spells, and one of them makes Sidonie forget Imriel ever existed, and believe herself in love with Astegal, marry him, sail to Carthage and, happily brainwashed, sleep with him a lot as his loving wife. When the spell is broken, Sidonie is rightfully horrified and angry, and it’s made clear that once they are done with running for their lives and saving the world, and she has leisure to breathe, she is going to have to process her trauma, because this was clearly a violation of her basic self, and despite her not fighting Astegal in bed, clearly rape.

So far, so good.

But how about Imriel’s interlude with the eunuch? It’s completely the same but not treated as such! Imriel, desperate to break the spell and rescue Sidonie, needs to get close to her and evil magician, but obviously can’t go as himself. Instead, he gets a spell that makes him look like Leander, a Cytheran nobleman. But not just that - in order to fool the magician, the spell also gives him Leander’s memories and personality (though the latter begins to fade the longer he is masquerading and eventually he is more and more like his usual supernova of intensity self.) Basically - Imriel doesn’t just look like Leander. He believes he is Leander. And Leander occasionally sleeps with the eunuch/spy Sunjata. So, in his early days in Carthage, Imriel as Leander invites Sunjata over for fun times, and Sunjata happily obliges. OK. Fine. BUT SUNJATA KNOWS THIS IS IMRIEL WHO BELIEVES HE IS LEANDER, NOT HIS ACTUAL LOVER!!!!! He has a letter from Imriel’s mother, seeking his assistance, which spells that out. And just to make sure, Sunjata makes Imriel take off magic earrings that hide what he actually looks like, so he verified it for himself. And guess what? It’s treated as NBD, when Imriel eventually comes to himself and Sunjata is a good guy.

THE FUCK

If what happened to Sidonie was rape, what happened to Imriel was rape too. It’s the equivalent of having sex with someone who is too drunk or otherwise not in their right mind to give consent. Imriel was LITERALLY not in his right mind. WTF!!! Because of what happened to him as a child, Imriel is obsessed with enthusiastic consent on everyone’s part and this is so against that (hell, because of said childhood, he repeatedly said he can’t contemplate sleeping with a man, so this is doubly against his fundamental preferences.) UGH.

I sort of don’t mind Imriel not freaking out too much because (a) there are so many other world-changing things going on that are urgent (b) sadly, this doesn’t even rank on top 100 awful things that happened to him (c) to him, that interlude feels like Leander’s memory, not his own BUT TO HAVE NO ACKNOWLEDGMENT AT ALL BY THE TEXT THAT IS IS FUCKED UP IS NO GO!!! He should think about this issue for at least a little bit (even if to decide it’s not important) and the text should also indicate that this is fucked up!!!!

Whyyyyyyyy!!!!!

And then I read comments which attempt to explain it away as nbd and it makes me so ragey. Is it as bad as what happened to Phedre in Drujan? Nope. But we don’t need to have gradations of horrible here. It’s still nonconsensual sex and it’s not somehow excusable because at the time Imriel was gungho or because the dude this happened with is somehow supposed to be a nice guy (ha!) But I think Carey generally has problems with some areas of consent - she clearly thought what happened with Phedre and Melisande before the latter shipped P&J to Skaldia in Kushiel’s Dart was consensual, when forcing someone drugged and distraught into things with her not uttering her safe word only because she thought it would betray her country, is in no way consensual. Or her whole take on Anafiel Delunay who should have been in jail forever, IMO. Sigh. I hoped we got away from it.

This is still an awesome book, but this one issue is the one blemish.

#books #jacqueline carey #kushiel's mercy #kushiel's legacy #tw: rape

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valdiis · 5 years

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You can call me: Val is the most common, short for Valdiis - my usual internet handle; I’ve often thought of renaming this blog to that. Hadders, Hadeon, or any of my character names will also do.

I’d describe myself: as a depressed introvert who desperately seeks to be liked through helping others.

Fictional character(s) I identify with or am fond of: I don’t know that I identify with her exactly, but Jaenelle from The Black Jewels trilogy and Phedre from The Kushiel series. I’m also very fond of Locke from The Lies of Locke Lamora and Gavin from The Lightbringer series (I love to hate Gavin, but I’m very fond of him).

Three random facts about me: I’m a high school drop-out who graduated from one of the top public colleges in the country. My mother was a bouncer at a BDSM club. I’ve worked in professional theatre.

Something little about my appearance that I like: My hair is long enough to sit on and has a nifty streak of teal at the nape.

An outfit that makes me feel powerful: A black t-shirt, dark-wash jeans, and my motorcycle boots, all underneath my black duster coat.

An object that is special to me: The .999 silver phoenix and traveler’s star coin pendant that my husband bought for me on one of our early dates.

A compliment (or two or three) about me that made me feel warm inside: “You’ve been a great help!” “I love your writing!” “That streak in your hair is cool!”

Something I love about myself: I love my creativity and fertile imagination.

Something I love about someone else: I love someone’s big heart and how they care for me no matter what. In a more general sense, I love it when people gush about what they enjoy.

Something I’d buy for someone else: A sampler pack of BPAL perfumes if they like smelly things, character art if I know their characters, or gift cards because money is always cool.

Something I’d love to buy for myself: There are these custom-fit car seat covers for a 2006 Honda Element that are about $140 and I want them soooo bad; my car’s seats have exposed foam and crap as it is.

Three things that make me happy right now: My wrist smells like Odd (@insipid-drivel will get it). I just got my armorer to level 80 in FFXIV. I have a fuzzy bat on my desk that @pocketfox got for me and it’s so soft and pettable and it makes me smile.

Something I’m looking forward to: Having next Friday off from work.

Something I enjoyed recently: A silly romance novel that I bought to read on my phone when I need to not look like I’m reading something at work.

Song(s) stuck in my head recently: Ogod. If we’re talking about whatever earworm I haven’t been able to get rid of, then it’s Truth Hurts by Lizzo (who I’ve loved since I found Good As Hell two years ago). If we’re talking about what’s good that I’ve been jonesing on lately, it’s probably Shrike by Hozier (and that whole album).

I watched this - maybe you’d like it, too: American Gods!

Something adorable I came across recently:

If you wanted to know me better, you should check out these things: My tumblr is pretty much the place to be, even if most of it is either reblogs of events or character writing. I never use my Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Discord if you want to actually get personal.

Something I can/will do to take care of myself or make things more positive for me in the coming days: I will do my best to think creatively and daydream more when I’m bored at work instead of thinking negative thoughts about my job.

Tagged by @pocket-panda - not really, just saw it and wanted to do it.

Tagging you if you want to do it.

#ask meme

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a-crack-in-the-universe · 6 years

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We didn’t speak of the future, but every stolen moment we could snatch, we spent together. It was never enough. I always wanted more. I wanted to make love to her, and I wanted to talk with her. I wanted to talk about politics and philosophy and what it meant to be good. I wanted to talk about everything under the sun, the way Eamonn and I used to do. I wanted to talk about the endless ways she surprised me. Sometimes we did. I kept my promise and told her about being abducted, about Daršanga and the Mahrkagir’s zenana, and what I had endured there. I told her more than I’d ever told anyone except Eamonn and Phèdre. “The worst part was that he made us complicit in it,” I said without looking at her. “It happened a lot. There was a girl from Ch’in who displeased him. I never knew her name, but she had beautiful hair, hair to her waist. She used to hide her nakedness behind it in the festal hall.” I gazed into the distance. “The Mahrkagir grew impatient at it. He gave me a blunt knife and bade me shear her. He said if I didn’t do it, he’d do it himself and take her scalp with it.” Sidonie made a sound deep in her throat. “So I did.” My palms were sweating at the memory. I rubbed them on my thighs. “I hacked away her beautiful hair and laid it in his hands. Then he put the knife to my throat and bade her plait her own hair or watch me die slow. When she was done …” I took a deep breath. “He throttled her with it and made me watch. Took her by force and throttled her, so he could feel her die under him. He liked that.” I told her how I’d gotten the scar seared onto my left flank. How after Phèdre had come, the Mahrkagir had given me as a plaything to the Tatar warlord Jagun. How Jagun had fondled me and beaten me and branded me as his own property. How for long years I’d had nightmares in which I’d awakened screaming, the stench of my own burning flesh in my nostrils. There were other stories; worse stories. I didn’t tell them all, but I told enough. Sidonie listened without saying a word, her face stark with horror, streaked with silent tears. It was the only time I didn’t touch her, and I couldn’t look at her when I’d finished. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. She knelt behind me, wrapping her arms around me, her head on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” I nodded, unable to speak. Neither of us did, not for a very long time. Sidonie held me, so still she might have been keeping a vigil; and mayhap she was. The sun crept across the floor of Amarante’s bedchamber and another knot of shame inside me slowly uncoiled.

Kushiel’s Justice

#kushiel's justice #kushiel's legacy #jacqueline carey #sidonie de la courcel #imriel de la courcel

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binary5tar1117 · 6 years

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end of the year asks - 4, 14, 22! 💗

4. Movie of the year? I... honestly can not remember what movies I’ve seen this year. All the movies that come to mind I actually watched for the first time last year... oops. So is it a cop out to say Burn the Stage? I left the movie with my heart so full and soothed and so in love.

14. Favorite book you read this year? Okay 2 answers. 1, I read an illustrated copy of the first harry potter book to my kids. It was really awesome to be able to share that with them. 2. Kushiel’s Justice. It’s the 5th in the Kushiel’s Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey is my favorite book series. It’s not that much of an exaggeration honestly to say it’s like my bible. I always have to include a warning in case anyone wants to read it, it is dark erotic fantasy. If it were a fanfic would have a non-con and violence/gore tags (much more the former than the latter.) But its really about the power of love, all aspects of it. The first three are about a courtesan trained spy that feels pain as pleasure. The second three are about her foster son. I reread two of those this year, and I’ve always liked the second more. It’s got a part that is so sad it has yet to fail to make me bawl my eyes out, but over all it’s amazing. Clearly these are books I could talk about....forever! And I remember you asked what my favorite book was a while back and I never answered. Sorry!! These are it! (Also, btw, how’s the found book? Still good?)

22. Favorite place you visited this year? Ah that’s easy! Chicago for the concert and to meet @kimlinebiased! (We definitely have to meet again some how next year!!!) I honestly can’t say which part was more exciting. But brutally honest Chicago it’s self was gross. Sorry to anyone from there! It was a nasty city, I’ll stick to my clean air and green and country side thank you. But I would go again in a heart beat if I got to see BTS and Dean again!!

Thanks Nat!!!

#daegu-flowjob

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xylianna · 6 years

Text

Xy’s 100 Ways Challenge - Prompt# 73

Fandoms & Pairing: FFXV & Kushiel’s Legacy - Lunafreya & Gentiana

Rating: Teen

Prompt: “Take mine.”

For: a gift for @aliatori without whom Sacred wouldn’t exist <3

Note: Crossover AU. Set about 6? years before This Too Is Sacred.

100 Ways Challenge - Prompts OPEN!

Skulking furtively through the streets of the City of Elua, Lunafreya d'Aiglemort kept looking over her cloaked shoulder to ensure she wasn’t followed from her family’s townhouse. She knew it was perhaps not the wisest decision for a girl of sixteen to roam the city by herself at night, but there was no other time she could get away. Since their father’s death, Ravus had practically kept her under his eye every waking moment, and he’d never approve of this errand.

Reaching the Temple of Naamah, she was grateful that the city’s temples were never locked. Slipping inside the foyer, she saw no other worshipers. That made sense given the late hour, and it suited her just fine. Lunafreya walked deeper within until she found a door leading to an enclosed garden. Under the moon’s pearly luminescence, not much was visible to her eyes save some jasmine flowers blooming on the vine.

Night-Blooming flowers… an auspicious sight.

But truly, Lunafreya had eyes only for the intricately carved statue of Naamah. She was depicted kneeling abeyante, her chin lifted and her arms outstretched as if to embrace a patron.

Lunafreya knelt in a similar fashion before the sculpture, though she lay her palms against her thighs after smoothing her skirts around her knees. Bowing her head, she prayed, even as she wasn’t entirely sure what she was asking of the Bright Lady. She just knew she needed guidance like she needed air, needed to get out of her house for an hour before she went completely mad.

“Well met, my lady,” a mellifluous voice spoke beside her.

Glancing sidelong, Lunafreya saw none other than the High Priestess Gentiana herself, a one time Gentian adept who had risen to prominence as the most gifted seer to grace their country in generations. It was said she’d shed her birth name to take on the namesake of her house decades before she left Naamah’s Service to join the clergy.

Despite her eyes being closed, the priestess’s stare bored into Lunafreya’s very soul. “Well met, my lady priestess.”

“What troubles you, child?” A gentle voice, but implacable.

“I… it’s nothing,” Lunafreya demurred, not wanting to sound ungrateful for her lot in life, especially before such an august personage.

Silence stretched between them, and Lunafreya sighed softly. Maybe it was the late hour and her fatigue, maybe it was the comforting air given off by the priestess, but Lunafreya decided to still her tongue no longer.

“It’s my brother,” she began. “He keeps me locked away from the city. He says that it’s to protect me, but…” She bit her lip. “I think it’s just to protect his interests.”

“His interests?” Gentiana asked curiously.

“Ravus would use me as the coin by which to obtain greater power. He seeks to wed me to the Dauphin.” Lunafreya turned to face the priestess fully, concern tightening her delicate features. “But that would be a disaster! I… I don’t have proof, but I suspect Ravus was behind our father’s death. All he wants is power… control… and he hasn’t the temperament for it.”

“I see.” Gentiana opened her eyes, dazzling Lunafreya with the intensity of her gaze. “Not all are well served by having their dreams fulfilled. Your brother sounds one such.” She paused. “But to marry the Dauphin, to mother the next generation of Courcel cygnets… for most noble daughters, this would be the pinnacle of achievement. Yet you do not wish it?”

“No,” Lunafreya whispered. “I do not.”

“Then what will you, Lady Lunafreya d'Aiglemort?”

Lunafreya lifted her chin in unconscious mimicry of the statue of Naamah before them. “I would serve Naamah. If she would have me.”

Gentiana’s eyes fell shut again, but they crinkled with pleasure. “Naamah welcomes all those who come to her service with a willing heart. If you would join us, make your offering, and then we shall talk.”

Looking down in shame, Lunafreya mumbled, “I don’t have one.” She knew tradition was to purchase a live dove and release it to fly to Naamah, carrying her hopes and prayers with each wing-beat. But how was Lunafreya to obtain such a thing unnoticed by Ravus?

“Take mine,” Gentiana said kindly, holding out a honeycake. “I awoke feeling called to bring something to our Bright Lady. Now I know why.”

With grateful words of thanks, Lunafreya took the pastry and turned back to the sculpture. Bowing forward over her knees, she lay it at Naamah’s feet, pressing her lips to those carved toes fervently before kneeling up again, resting her bottom against her heels and closing her eyes.

Naamah… with this humble offering, I dedicate myself to you, to your service. Please accept it, and me. I know I am not much… but I feel there must be a purpose to my life beyond political marriage. I wish only to share your grace with the world. Please, Naamah. I beg you… accept me.

A soft touch on her cheek turned Lunafreya towards Gentiana, and then gentle lips brushed over her forehead and cheeks before pressing against her own tenderly.

“Be welcome, sister. Be welcome, Servant of Naamah.” Rising to her feet gracefully, Gentiana offered a hand to Lunafreya, face shaped in an inscrutable smile lent more mystery by the way her eyes remained closed. “Come. We have much to discuss.”

Lunafreya stood, albeit with less finesse of motion. No doubt, such things would be learned over time. As she followed Gentiana back inside the temple proper, her heart fairly sang beneath her breast.

She would be Lunafreya d'Aiglemort no longer. Her years of study would be her chrysalis, and when complete she’d emerge Lunafreya nó Cereus, Servant of Naamah.

She’d done it. She was free. She would love.

She would live.

#100 ways challenge #ffxv #kushiel's legacy #this too is sacred #lunafreya nox fleuret #gentiana #aliatori

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