#come on larian what the fuck

[jacqcrisis]

'Am I writing Astarion with too much emotion regarding the sun/daytime?'

Nope.

[metaben]

also the so-called "full release" (it wasn't, but hey) of BG3 has been out for a year and they're still making alterations to the story/character narratives as if that shit isn't stuff they should have been more than certain of already. incompetent ass devs fr

[umbralsong]

Lady Incognita

Cazador Szarr's "niece" is named Amanita Szarr. You can find her story scattered throughout the palace's attic, dungeon, and the House of Hope. She was a girl who grew up near Anga Vled raised by old servants. At 13, she was brought to visit her uncle in Baldur's Gate...

The day her entire family exposed themselves as vampires.

Alternate Text: An east Asian girl with medium-brown skin and dark brown then red eyes looks away from the viewer. One with brown, facing away. Twice with red and shoddily cut away dark hair, looking away in despair and notably darkened, red, downcast eyes and short hair. Once more with darkened eyes and a cloak and red eyes to match, long dark hair flowing from her hood.

Unfinished, but hey. I want to show fellow artists that things just don't come to you. Sometimes, you have to work the lines and paint until they do. Use Glaze to protect your art from AI scrapers.

The notes you can find in order:

Alturiak 1477 Tarsakh 1477 Mirtul 1477 Kythorn 1477 Flamerule 1477

Please read about issues with Cazador's depiction [here]. Thank them for their kind contribution and show support.

Donate to Gaza here: https://gazafunds.org/ Support good causes with a click here: https://arab.org/ Ceasefire Now: https://ceasefire-now.com/ Donate to the [Sidewalk School] [Pay your rent], settlers. [KOSA Resources]

The city palace, straddling the wall between the Upper and Lower City, was more than creepy, it was somehow chilling.

Cazador Szarr the Avid rose to power in 1296. She stayed at the estate for at least four months before she was killed. She was turned in Kythorn 1477, 15 years before the start of the story.

'Uncle' Cazador made me a vampire, but I refused to participate in the family rites. He gave me the Hunger but he could not break my will. He had Blovart imprison me in the attic. I weakened. They sent up human blood, and eventually I drank it. For a year, they stopped sending anything. I tore at the walls in frustration. Then they sent up a bound captive.

Cazador's favorite punishments are cruelty, hunger, and isolation.

His staff, "Woe:" The gentle tap-tap-tap of a staff on stone sparked terror for all in Cazador's palace. It signalled an approaching storm, and all they could do was shrink into the background and pray its wrath would not fall on them. His dagger, "Rhapsody:" Cazador's love of poetry arose after he read on the naked stomach of a dead child in his homeland. The child was hung from the lowest branch of a tree. Cazador read the poem, and looked at the child, and he knew that here was the artform for him.

Her coffin is on a wooden table overlooking a window. There are chains by her bed, a candle, and a skull. There are three skeletons in the attic, one headless with a crossbow and garlic cloves in their cage.

I succumbed. I am a vampire, and damned. I curse the name of Szarr and reject it. Now I stay in the attic by choice and write my little histories. I am Lady Incognita. Amanita is no more.

I think the snippets of her story were so impactful because of the complete betrayal. The fact her family were never around. The fact they lied for her entire life. The fact they forced her to transform, which we know from Astarion's partial ceremorphosis dialogue is incredibly painful:

Player: Unlike you to be so unwilling to receive a new power... Astarion: That was before I knew the cost. Before I knew it meant transforming into some grotesque beast. I remember how it hurt when I turned to a vampire. My body writhed and warped while I was utterly helpless, the grip of death owned my heart as it beat its last. I - I don't want to turn into anything else. I can't do that again. I can't watch my body be taken over. Player: You're afraid? Astarion: I'll happily murder my way to whatever powerful artefacts we can make use of. Point at the back and I'll stab. Just don't ask me to sacrifice my body. It hasn't been mine for so long.

We know thematically there is a parallel between vampirism, abuse, and sexuality. Cazador appeared to lose interest in his 'niece' altogether. Nonetheless, he locked her into an eternal childhood under "true vampirism," never to grow to adulthood, and denied her a "typical" life forevermore. There is something particularly grotesque about that.

Astarion: Nearly two hundred years and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there. I had to punch a hole in the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt. Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting. From that day on I was his. Until today. Player: You were never his. Whatever he had, he took by force. Astarion: Maybe, but he did take it. There's almost nothing left of the person I was. Just a name on a rock. For nearly two centuries, I stalked the streets like a ghost while the person I was lay here, dead and buried. Now I need to figure out who I am. What I want.

We find The Tourmaline Depths in the room beneath Cazador's room. She wrote Diseases of the Blood to tackle vampiric illness. She wrote the names of ruling vampires, their titles, and their successors. She is, what, 28?

I like to think she knew all of Cazador's secrets, from the corpses in the suspended cages to his dungeon. I'm impressed by her mental fortitude in the face of such odds as a child and young woman. I'm impressed she chose to do what she loved, escaped, and became such a relevant figure in the study of vampiric physiology. I wish we knew her better. I wish we had the opportunity to meet her.

She is the historian who sullies his name and documents his endless crimes. She escaped. Cazador underestimated her.

[m-art77]

Do you guys ever think about how if redeemed!Durge pulls out of Gortash’s alliance after returning with Orin’s Netherstone that Gortash literally cannot rationalize their betrayal (and them now trying to kill him) by blaming their urge? Like how much of a complete mindfuck that would be for him. The Dark Urge just told him they’re 100% cured and now they’re trying to kill him? You know, the person who’s always been by their side, their partner in crime, their equal, and their (potential) lover; and now they’re trying to murder him. And prior to the amnesia, Gortash could always rationalize that if The Dark Urge tried to kill him one day that he could hand wave it as “they just couldn’t help themselves anymore” because of Bhaal’s hold on them. It doesn’t mean they wanted to.

But now, Bhaal is gone and The Dark Urge is moving in to kill him. There’s no way to rationalize it as anything else. The only person who ever cared about him is going to kill him, and he’ll die knowing everything they once had is completely gone. The Dark Urge doesn’t remember him. Their love for him died the moment Orin split their skull. The urge isn’t the reason they’re doing this. He’ll die knowing that they hate him.

[lucifer-kane]

bg3 fandom will be out here drawing the characters totally unrecognizable with smoothed out faces or skinny (granted there's not actually fat characters in it :/ but some characters have rounder faces (gortash) and it's gone in some fanart) and it's so boring. it's so so ridiculously boring to look at

[tacogoats]

.

I saw crumbs of the Gale side of things from that Larian writer interview and now that I've read it I'm just laughing. yall really had nothing of substance to say about Gale besides 'playing wizard is hard' and the bomb ending is the 'right' ending.

Sure does leave me with high hopes for Gale content in the future.

[ladyinthebluebox]

i am once again submitted to horrors of modding contiously supported game...

[zhengzi]

.

[frizzdotbizz]

kinda dreading going back to twt while the discourse regarding patch 7 is already in full force apparently. ummm no thanks

[cleeksfire]

If I had a nickel for every time my purple coded PC wanted to romance the buff red fire tiefling but not being able to ID HAVE TWO NICKELS

[eff-plays]

There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.

I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.

First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).

But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.

"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."

(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)

However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.

No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."

See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.

It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.

And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.

He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.

So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.

This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."

If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.

Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.

He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.

All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.

God tier characterization, 10/10.

[bloodlessbelmounte]

I love bg3 and Larian but I do wish they'd stop fucking about with the camera angles with every patch and hot fix (and not even listing these changes in the notes). I've seen so many companion character scenes get altered so that the camera now focuses on Tav more and it makes me think what was the point of having the cast mocap these scenes if we're not going to be able to veiw the performance. I just saw the moment in camp where Astarion has the Necromancy of Thay and most of it was spent either looking at the book's cover (so half his face was cut off), Tav, or Astarion's back. HIS LITTLE HELLO AND WAVE WAS SEEN FROM BEHIND HIS BACK! Come on the cast put in so much of their hearts into these characters and shit like this is just doing them dirty.

[oldfriendsseniortwittersanctuary]

Halsin makes a big deal about how your relationship isn't going to be monogamous but he never gets with anyone else. What a missed opportunity. Everyone else in the camp except for Withers (and even im not 100% sure about that) wants to ride the bear; why don't they get to? Are you telling me that Lae'zel, the horniest woman in Faerun, isn't going to shoot her shot? That Shadowheart, the second horniest woman in Faerun, isn't going to try to climb Mount Halsin? Let Halsin fuck his way through the camp! Let him get that wizussy! Let Karlach, the third horniest woman in Faerun, get that druid dick! Is it in character for Wyll to tussle with that hunky elf? Not really but if Wyll was going to say "fuck it I want some action" with anyone it'd be Halsin. Come on Larian.

[elorathebard]

Everyone In BG3 Has The Same Ass (PROOF)

This is a follow up post to this one. ALRIGHT here's my photographic evidence that everyone in this game has the same ass. Pictures are under the read more. I revoked penis privileges for all the character models and censored the general crotch area, but there will be bare booty. Consider yourself warned.

Alright here's all ya men. Models and textures have been ripped straight from the game data, color values are taken from the game's code, and shaders have been painstakingly recreated by the great Volno, with a few slight tweaks by me to get the textures to look better in EEVEE. (Sorry everyone, I don't have the patience to wait 15 minutes per photo to render ass comparisons in cycles)

The black backdrop is there because otherwise y'all would be staring into a featureless bright white void. Dark mode users cry, Astarion's chin disappears, it's just ugly all around.

Here's the view from the back.

And here's your side view.

Now, I know you're wondering. Did Elora fuck with the camera angles or use different models, all to convert us to her devious ass-genda? Be comforted, dear viewers, because I came prepared. With measurements.

Now, we know from a tweet from Larian that Astarion is 5' 9". I'm a little skeptical of that number myself, since there's a Githyanki line in the game that puts him at 5' 11". There's also the fact that if you convert the feet to inches, you get The Funny Sex Number. But whatever, I'll play along.

Here's a ruler that's exactly as tall as Astarion, divided into 69ths. If the number Larian gave us is correct, then each marking will be one inch.

Here's the same ruler, centered on the cheeks. According to these Incredibly Scientific Calculations, everyone's cake is 14 inches wide and 7 inches tall. Perfectly rectangular.

If we spin em around, we can see that everyone has a standard Dumper Depth of about 2 inches.

And. since I know someone will ask, no, Wyll does not get a new ass upon demonification.

Now, I see you Holy Rolan Empire. I see the Gortfuckers. I see the Raphaelites. You are NOT exempt. Because guess what.

THEY ALSO HAVE THE SAME ASS.

Now before everyone comes at me in the comments, I'm pretty sure this is just a case of BRUTAL video game efficiency. The game's already 130 GB. They need to save on resources wherever they can. In an ideal world, Gale wouldn't have abs, Gortash would have love handles, and everyone would have custom-sculpted derrieres. But unfortunately we live in a timeline where computer hard drives are finite.

I bring this up not to de-legitimize anyone's choice of husbando, but so that we can move past the ass wars and move onto more important discussions. Like whether gnome tavs can canonically turn into mind flayers.

[forgeofthenine]

Random NSFW headcanons about Zevlor

I was trying to work today and all I could think about was this man and what he's like in bed, so now I'm sharing it with everyone else. I have more headcanons about both him and Dammon if people want them.

General NSFW under the cut, all of its pretty tame but let me know if I need to put up a content warning

So, to start off with, no one out there not even Larian can convince me that Zevlor doesn't have experience. This man is at least twice my age and quite literally hot as hell. Unfortunately though, during and after the fall of Elturel into Avernus, I just don't think Zevlors even had time to think about personal pleasures like that. It's hard to get laid when your group of refugees keep trying to win a speedrun of the fastest ways to die in Faerun.

It might take a while to finally bed this man, but when you do it's well worth the effort. Zevlor is such a gentle lover in all respects, including sex, and he always makes your pleasure a priority. He's the kind of guy to forget all about himself because he's so focused on trying to get you off.

As for kinks, body worship is a big one. He loves to worship your body, no matter how you look. It's all soft kisses and gentle caresses over any skin that's revealed to him. The little murmurs of praise muffled against you are so precious, and darling Zevlor will spend hours reminding you what you mean to him if you don't stop him sooner.

Worship him too, let him know how much you love his body. It's so worth it. Tell Zevlor how strong he is, how much you appreciate the way he protects you, call this man handsome. The way his brow furrows at first before he melts under your combined words and touch is a sight to see. Kissing over each and every infernal ridge and bump he has while saying this is a sure way to bring Zevlor right to the edge.

Speaking of his infernal traits, I can see him worrying somewhat if his partner isn't also a tiefling, for the first time at least. Mostly because those infernal traits definitely spread to tieflings dicks too-

Zevlors not small by any means, he's particularly girthy and anyone would need a bit of prep and warming up before they take him, but the best part are the ridges. You know how some sex toys advertise themselves as 'ribbed for her pleasure' and such? They're just describing Zevlors cock. Like all male tieflings, the entire length has small but noticeable ridges and bumps, and the head seems to come to a slightly more tapered tip than usual.

Despite how he warns you that his stamina isn't what it used to be, don't be fooled, Zevlor will happily fuck you until you both see stars.

Afterwards, when you're all tired and happy while lying against his chest, is one of the only times you'll hear him purr. It's such a deep, low baritone you feel it more than you hear it, but it's there nonetheless. That, mixed with his fingers brushing up and down your bare skin, is a sure fire recipe for sleep.

Overall, Zevlor is one of the best lovers out there. Attentive, sweet, and with killer anatomy, who could pass up such a catch? I'd literally kill for this man-

[karniss-bg3]

The Tragedy of Faith

So between tumblr and twitter I've read various takes on Kar'niss and what draws people to him. For some it's the monster fucking appeal, for others it's the desire to fix a clearly broken individual. There are in-betweens and of course this is subjective and depends on the person. Act 2 spoilers ahead. Where my personal interest comes from is how good Larian communicated the tragedy of faith and what a cult can do to a person. Kar'niss is a creature that has been broken by not one God, but two. Lolth broke him physically, the Absolute broke him mentally. His entire identity has been lost to a deity to the point he raises her in his speech. Referring to her as "Majesty" and "Queen", two terms you don't really hear anyone else address her as, he has elevated her to his final savior and leader. He also often refers to himself as "we" and "us", cementing him as part of the hive mind rather than holding any individuality of his own. When he does refer to himself as "I", it's mostly to show further loyalty to the Absolute, to maintain a position of importance in his fractured mind. Cults are notorious for targeting the most vulnerable in society as they are the easiest to mold and manipulate to their doctrine. The fact that goblins are one of the main races that fall to the Absolute's influence is telling in that regard, as they are often dismissed by the other races. Kar'niss was ripe for the picking, an easy target to lure into her arms. No doubt he was found shortly after Lolth twisted him into a drider and banished him, he didn't stand a chance.

Not even taking those elements into account, Kar'niss came from a society that is infamous for cruelty and violence, especially toward males of their species. Drow greatest hits include, but are not limited to: -Killing their young if they are not aesthetically pleasing enough. In other words, ugly. -Sacrificing every third born son to Lolth.

-If a male finds the favor of two competing females, it often doesn't end well for the male. The rival woman will kill the male and chuck his dead body into his opponents bedchambers, just for the sake of being petty.

-Love and emotions of any sort are in short supply, if not outright unseen as a general rule. The nature of drow to backstab and seek to rise in the ranks makes it near impossible to be anything other than fierce and domineering.

With these things in mind, it's easy to assume that Kar'niss had a turbulent upbringing and likely suffered untold abuse from many around him. It's not to say that good or reasonable drow don't exist, it's just not commonplace in a Lolthite society. Unfortunately, the game doesn't give us a great deal to go on as far as his past. What little he reveals only happens after he's dead, and even then its really a cliffs notes version. What we do know is that his devotion is intense and unwavering. He's willing to die for the Absolute because in his mind the Absolute are the only ones who care about him. We even see fellow followers talk down to him, dismiss him, and verbally eye-roll the guy. To them, his fanaticism is over the top and they follow the same God he does.

All told, this leads me to the conclusion that Kar'niss has never, or rarely, known true compassion in his entire life. He's been used as a puppet for one deity or another, and likely mocked or cast aside even when he did everything right. It doesn't surprise me that there are folks who desire a romance option, or barring that a side venture to break him free of the Absolute's hold. We don't know if Kar'niss did terrible things in his past, or where his moral compass sits as his entire personality revolves around God. But I'd love to know, and I crave more background on him in one form or another.

I've spent too much time thinking about different paths that could happen in-game. I also understand it's incredibly unlikely he'll ever become a companion. The sheer amount of time and resources needed to give a character a satisfying arc is likely more than Larian can do with other constraints, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised. So Kar'niss lovers, platonic, romantic, or everything in-between...I gotchu fam. We stan the spooder bby. Someone get that man a blanket and a nice mug of hot cocoa. And a cult de-programming kit, one of those would be good.