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kpopjust4u · 2 years ago

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What do you think you’re doing?

Post Date: 5th July 2022 Content: Smut (Slight suggestiveness in beggining) - PENTAGON Yanan x Reader WC: 3.5 TW?: Dom!Yanan/ Brat+Sub!Reader/ Enemies To Lovers/ College!Au/ Profanities/ Choking/ Biting/ Slight mention of blood/ Fingering/ Oral (recieiving)/ Penetration Request?: Yes Masterlist Prompt list

Prompts: 11 - “You’ve pissed me off now” 63 - “What do you want me to do to you?” 66 - “Beg for more”

“Now’s really not the right time to be asking me stupid questions, Yan,” you sigh, trying to avoid eye contact with him, making your way back to your flat after just finishing your last class for the week. Yanan follows behind with his friends, making stupid little comments and asking stupid questions about you and your love life, you hated him. He was cocky and when he was around his friends, he’d be the last person you want to get involved with.

“Oh, the attitude” he scoffs, turning to his friends who burst out into laughter that dies down from them departing from the group, going to their separate flats to do their own thing, leaving Yanan alone with nothing else to do other than annoy you until your patience runs thin. You couldn’t stand to be around him, he really grinds your gears and the fact he hasn’t even grown up mentally in the 2 years that you’ve known him, doesn’t actually surprise you but you wish he did. You were willing to give him a chance until he made unnecessary comments about your best friend, and that drew the line. You loathed him.

“Y/N, you better pay attention to me!” he demands, running up to you to walk with you as you put your earphones in to block him out. He growls to himself, always wanting your attention even though he knows you hate every bone in his body. As you continue to ignore his attempt to speak to you, he pulls at one of your plugs, pulling it right out of your ear, “Listen to me!”. All you could do was shrug and attempt to put it back in but the sound of music comes to a stop when he pulls out your earphone cable from your phone.

“What do you want?” you ask, trying to keep calm with him but struggling. You should be used to his antics by now but every day he pushes it that little further, almost to the point where you contemplate punching the guy. A smile appears on his smug face when you actually turn to look at him, “How about let me come over to yours?” the cheek of it, you couldn’t believe he actually asked that even had the audacity to ask that. “No.” You’re firm with him, walking off but that only makes him angry, in his mind, he wants to make up for it, he’s tempted to actually get to know you, probably because he’s had a crush on you for the last 2 years, but he wanted to start something, knowing you weren’t going to play ball but attempting at it anyway.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!” he shouts, trying to catch up with you again to stand in the way of your walking path, blocking any step you tried to make. “Why not? I don’t have to give you attention?” you reply, refusing to look at him, he throws his head back in frustration, grabbing your arm to pull you back, holding it tight as he forces you to look at him, “Please can I come over?” he repeats in a softer tone being slightly more polite, though a smirk makes its way back onto his face.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head, brushing and forcing his arm off you as you try to keep your cool with him, but he kept making you frustrated, so what better than to play him at his own game?. “No. That’s final. Now leave me alone,” you bite, but the anger in your voice makes something tick in him, finding it appealing. His tongue pressed against his cheek, clicking it as he tries anything he could think of, “You’ve pissed me off now,” he growls, in your ear as he walks behind you.

“Oh really?” you ask, raising an eyebrow, “Welcome to my world, when everytime I see you I get pissed off,”. The way he clicks his tongue, pushing it against the inside of his cheek makes you a little flustered, realising that you really were testing his patience, it was kind of attractive. Even the glare that he gave you made your stomach flutter, a smirk makes its way onto your face, maybe there could be something to create less tension between you. “What do you want Yan?” you ask softly, staring at his soft and kissable-looking lips as a smile makes its way onto his face, “I want to spend time with you, get to know you properly,” he replies, giving you a little wink that you couldn’t resist at this point.

For a moment, you contemplate it, you challenge yourself, but there was something about his persistent nagging that made you think about hanging out with him even more of an exciting thought, “Sure thing, come over for 5pm then, don’t be late,” you smile, giving him a sassy look before strutting off, making him weak in the knees for you, the way your hips swung as you walked, the way your ass bounced, you, in general, walking away from him made him hungry.

Hours later, you hear a knock at your front door, causing you to freeze on the spot as you tried to apply the last of your eyeliner on, ‘fuck it’s him’ you thought to yourself, a slight moment of regret before stiffening your upper lip, creating the wing and ready to open the door. “My roommate is out until 9, so you have to be out by then,” you mention to him as you welcome him into your flat. “Oh so I have a curfew now?” he teases as you push him into the living room playfully, “So, what are we going to do for just under 4 hours?” he asks, looking around your flat. “Well I was thinking about ordering some food in and watching a film, welcome to my boring life, I guess”.

The way your face slightly drops after saying that makes him feel bad, “That sounds great, your life can’t be that boring,” he attempts to cheer you up, sitting down on your couch, putting the TV on, smiling at you as you giggle, taking a seat next to him to watch something. “What about this show?” he suggests, pointing the remote at the TV, making you notice he’s selected something he gathered you might enjoy, “Vampire Dairies, are you kidding? I love this show!” you gasp, nodding as he chuckles to himself, putting an arm up on the back of the chair. “Now to decide what we have for food, how does pizza sound?” Yanan gestures an OK sign, pouting his lips with a small curl, indicating he’s chill with that.

Once the food arrives, and you get into an episode or two, you’re happily pleased with the reactions coming from Yanan, “Oh Damon is an asshole!” he whines, looking at you who’s acting like he’s cursed your whole family, “Damon is the best character, next to Elijah, who you’ll meet later on in a few seasons” you scoff, wailing your hand. “So you’re into good-looking guys who are absolute assholes?” he laughs, looking at you as you hide behind your pillow, shaking your eyes as if to ignore him.

“You’re an asshole and I’m not into you,” you snarkily reply, raising an eyebrow at him, knowing full well that you were lying, the last 2 hours you’ve spent with him, have made you hate him less, and for some reason, you were even trying your best not to fall for him but that was a losing battle the minute he put on your favourite binge show. It was like he’s completely let go of the side you’re used to and now you’re seeing the real him, and in all honestly, who wouldn’t struggle with their feelings around him?.

As the episode continues, you fangirl hard over your favourite character, and do not realise that your thoughts were being spoken out loud, “Fuck, he could bite me anytime he wants”, all Yanan could do was laugh, slowly getting ideas that he tries to suppress. “What...” you look over at him, before realising you said that out loud, “Shut up,” you cried, but he just laughed, “I wasn’t going to say anything,” Yanan gets defensive as he watches your cheeks turn red, but the way you looked at the character on screen made him jealous, he wanted that attention.

A hand is placed on your thigh and you think nothing of it, being too engrossed in the programme, mainly thinking about Damon sinking his teeth in you, “I could be a better vampire than Damon!” Yanan exclaims to get your attention as you give him a stinking look. “As if!” you cackle, clutching your chest, but Yanan has a serious look on his face now, edging closer to you, pressing you up to the edge of the couch.

“If I was a vampire, would you let me bite you?” he asks sincerely, licking his lips as he stares at yours, making you startled at the sudden question, unsure where to look or what to do. Your heart races as his face get extremely close to yours, “Would you let me kiss you?” he asks, as you swallow hard on what felt like a golf ball in your throat, eyes making contact with him, the hungry look in his eyes makes you feel something, weirdly attracted to his daring attempts, and you couldn’t deny you’re all ready to fall into whatever trap you thought this may be.

What type of game you playing at Yan?” you ask, struggling to get your words out as he bows his head, shaking it, before lifting it back up and smiling, “I’m not playing any games, Y/N. I genuinely like you, I mean, I think I’m falling hard for you,” he confesses, taking your hands into his to show how genuine he was, before putting up his pinky fingers for you to cross yours with, “I pinky promise”. You took this type of thing seriously, pinky promises were your bargaining, and you never did it unless you completely believed the person would keep up their end.

Hearing his confession let the gates open in your mind, flooding it with ideas of how you’ve also fallen for him in the last few hours, and it takes you back in surprise. Who knew that you, of all people, would fall for the school class clown, the bully, you had to be kidding yourself.

“I take pinky promises seriously, Yan. You can’t just use them to bribe me into beliveing you,” you huff, pushing his hands down, getting up off the couch to turn off the TV, grabbing his things and placing them next to you. “I’m not trying to bribe you with anything, Y/N. Why do you think I’ve been obsessed with you all today?” he replies with slight irritation in his voice.Your chest feels tight as you try to fight the thoughts in your mind to let you go along with it but you also had to look out for yourself, you couldn’t let yourself get hurt if he means to do this maliciously to have something on you in college.

“Can you just leave?” you ask in an almost whisper as he goes to walk out the door to listen to what you asked of him, but wants to stand his ground, pausing in his spot before turning around and walking up to you, throwing his stuff on the couch. “What can I do to make you believe that I genuinely mean this?” he asks, with genuine eyes, taking your hands into his once again but all you could do was look at your feet at the door. “I said- You know what, if you mean it, promise me this isn’t a joke. I don’t want to look like a fool for falling for you and then being used as a laughing stock in college,” you firmly put your foot down with him, and he gladly agrees, putting up his pinky, “I’ll do anything for you, Y/N. Anything, I promise.” his tone is soft, smiling as you wrap your pinky around his.

Within seconds of your pinky fingers disconnecting, his lips crash against yours, his hand cupping your face gently as the kisses are small as gentle. He slowly pulls away, grinning with slight blushing on the cheeks, but your emotions were all over the place with this. You weren’t sure what you were getting into but in that moment and time, after years of not having any affection, it made you hungry for something more, crashing your lips against his again but with the intentions of getting all hot and bothered.

His hands roamed your body, detaching from your lips just to come up for air before going back in, slowly edging you against the wall behind you. Once you were pinned up again the wall, he presses himself against you, his hard cock poking your abdomen, twitching for attention as you feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

For a brief moment, you contemplate your decisions but thought that you only had one chance to try it with him, throwing anything and everything out of the window as you decide to indulge at the moment. “I need you,” you whimper, breaking from the kiss, your forehead resting against his as he scoffs to himself, “In what way?” he raises an eyebrow, placing a finger under your chin to make you look up at him, panting from the making out as you repeat your statement, “I. Want. You”.

“What do you want me to do to you?” he grins, picking you up as you wrap your legs around him, arms linked around his neck, carrying you to your room, “Anything, just need you so bad!”. No more questions were asked as he takes that information in, gladly accepting and ready to grant your wishes as he places you carefully on your bed before sliding your top over your head, throwing it on the floor before doing the same with his. He takes a moment to admire your chest, taking a breast into one of his hands as his lips reconnect with yours, making you lightly moan, especially when he teases the nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Get on with it already!” you cry as you whimper, “A guy like you should know how to please a girl!” you tease, starting to brat out on him, getting impatient for his touch. “Oh it’s going to be like that is it?” he snarls, biting your bottom lip, drawing a little blood. A hand wraps around your throat as he smirks, his other hand tracing your curves before hovering over your clothed heat. “Are you going to behave?” he asks firmly, raising an eyebrow, his hand pressed hard against your cunt.

All you could do was giggle, taking in the moment and willing to receive any consequences of your actions. You shake your head, “Maybe if you did something I’d behave, now be a good boy and do something,” you sing, winking at him before biting your lip.

Oh, you’re gonna regret acting up for him, as he just pulls away from you, sitting on the edge of the bed smirking at you. “If you’re going to be a brat, then I won’t do anything, I’ll actually go like you asked me to earlier~” he teased, going to grab his shirt before the sound of you whimpering makes him scoff to himself. “Are you going to behave?” he asks again, running his hand up your thigh, all you could do was nod, passed the point of being able to talk, you just wanted something off of him.

“You better use your words, little one,” the way he said that makes you shiver, now willing to do anything, “Please, please fuck me, Daddy!” you cry, grabbing his hand and putting it on your crotch, his face turns dark, lust in his eyes. His fingers tease the band of your shorts, unbuttoning them before slowly gliding them down your legs along with your underwear.

He kneels at the end of the back, leaning on his heels as he smirks at the sight of you completely naked in front of him, exposed to him as your cunt glistens under the light, “Awh so wet for me already, baby girl?” he growls, his fingers gliding through your folds before he spreads your legs apart, leaning down, face inches away from your cunt. He pulls your legs over his shoulders as his breathing whisps over your sensitive clit, making you moan as you grab a fistful of hair.

The first lick he sends up your cunt makes you whimper like you’ve never been touched before, the pleasure taking over your body as you couldn’t help but cry, tears forming in your eyes before running down your face, staining your cheeks with tears, eyeliner and mascara from the pleasure. The sensation of him licking and sucking on your clit gently makes you squirm under him, crying in pleasure as your grip on his hair gets tighter, “Fuck, just like that” you whimper. His small laughter sends vibrations through your clit that add to the stars you thought you were seeing.

After a little while, he slides a finger in, pumping you gently to stretch you out slightly before adding a second, that makes your back fold as you push yourself into the mattress. His fingers curl up inside you, pressing against your g-spot, the combination of this and his lips around your clit push you over the edge as the pit in your stomach creates pressure that you’ve never felt but by god, it was a good feeling. That only increases as he continues to finger fuck you until there’s nothing, he pulls his fingers out and pulls away from your cunt.

“What... why?!” you whimper, “I was about to cum!”. “Not yet, you don’t. Not until I allow you too, got that?!” he growls, putting his fingers in your mouth to taste yourself, as you suck on them. “You’ll have to beg for more, little one,” he affirms, his other hand unbuckling his belt, unzipping his jeans to pull them down slightly, letting his cock bounce out of his boxers.

You gasp at the size of it, really not expecting him to be that big as you did as he says, begging until your face turns purple, tears rolling down your face as you try to pull him closer to you to kiss him. “That’s it, beg!” he demands, letting you pull him into the kiss, as you continue to bag, whining his name until he makes you gasp, as his cock fills you up with one hard thrust.

This man shows no mercy, pounding into you hard, making your whole body go weak, your walls tense around his huge cock. “Fuck, you feel so good!” he grunts, putting your legs over his shoulder as he presses your knees to your chest, holding you there as his hips do the dirty work. The stars in your eyes increase from the pleasure.

He groans and growls in your ear as you bite onto his shoulder, knowing full well it’s going to leave a mark and a bruise but the pleasure you were receiving, that was the last of your worries. The feeling in the pit of your stomach returns again as Yanan’s pace is steady but harsh, his hips slapping hard into you. The sound of slapping and moaning fills the room, as you start the scream his name in pleasure, the feeling that you’re going to come becomes more prominent as you beg for mercy, begging for him to let you cum, “Please, I need to cum!” you cry, as he smirks, wanting to hold off but feeling himself slowly feeling the urge to as well.

“You have permission, little one,” he growls into your ear, nibbling at your lobe as he picks up the pace a little, making your whole body vibrate underneath him as you cum all over his cock, turning it white as he continues to fuck you hard until he needs to cum. Once he’s close enough, he pulls out, his warm cum dropping onto your lower abdomen, as he pants and groans from pumping himself, letting the last drop fall.

He drops onto you, laying his sweaty body over yours, head on your chest as you welcome it, both panting for air, trying to recover from what's happened. As you let your heartbeat return back to normal, he looks up at you, smiling as he kisses your chest, his hands snaking to the sides of your torso. "I meant what I said earlier, Y/N. I've completely fallen for you," he whispers as you play with his hair, making you giggle to yourself. Maybe letting this happen wasn't the worst idea you've ever had, probably the best.

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gamerwoo · 4 years ago

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(header by the lovely & talented @akirabfs)

Hongseok: Bittersweet (Intro 1/3 -- y/n & friends)

Characters: Hongseok x female reader

Genre/warnings: college au, sugar daddy au, gamer/streamer au, fluff, angst, crack, maybe implied smut but idk if there will be actual smut???

Summary: You were looking for a sugar daddy to make more money. Hongseok was looking for a sugar baby to get his friends off his back. But once you find out what he’s using you for, you don’t want anything to do with him. Unfortunately, you love his money more than you hate him.

a/n: more about the characters below the cut!!!

Next | Bittersweet Masterlist

y/n: you’re studying abroad in south korea for college. you really hate doing schoolwork, so you hope the streaming thing takes off. despite wanting this career path to take off, you tend to not take everything seriously and not make the best choices. but hey, your friends still love you. mostly. (this is your personal account, hence why it’s private)

yanan: is one of your closest friends. he tells it like it is, but he also enjoys watching chaos unfold. he’s also close with hongseok but he likes to keep his friend groups separate so he’s never even mentioned him to you before. even if he didn’t want to keep his two groups away from each other, he’d probably not tell you anyway just to start shit for his personal amusement.

sadie: has been your roommate since freshman year when you both arrived on campus and were thrown together as roommates for no other reason than you were both foreign to the country. she’s the mom friend who makes sure you get up for class on time, get your homework done, and basically don’t die. let’s face it, without her, you probably would’ve been kicked out of college by now.

ellie: is a little strange, but you love her. you often wake up to find her asleep on your couch even though you went to bed with your doors locked, but despite her breaking and entering to live on your couch most nights, she’s a great friend to have around. she’s basically your partner in crime when it comes to shenanigans and bad ideas.

amanda: all but shoved herself into your friend circle when she heard you make a zodiac killer joke in your literature class. she’s all about everything true crime, and even has a podcast that she does about true crime cases. she may be a bit strange -- some people find her to be too strange -- but you think she’s just strange enough.

soonyoung: was in almost every single class of yours during your freshman year, so naturally, you became close. despite knowing zero things about technology, he does everything in his power to support your still-taking-off career, and he’s even more supportive of you doing literally anything to make money -- and he often supplies some outgoing ideas.

ryan: goes to the same college as you, but you originally met him because he got a job at the café you frequent. he always adds whipped cream and drizzle on your coffee for free, so naturally, you had to befriend him. he likes to play video games with you from time to time, but he thinks chani is scary.

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julyarchives · 4 years ago

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masterlist!

key: ✿ (fluff) | ♡ (smut) | ✰ (angst) | ✻ (horror)

Requests are open!

Don’t You Hear Me Howling?

Pairing: Changgu (Yeo One) x Reader | Kino x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07• 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upside down, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

Teach Me Series

Pairing: Wooseok x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04

Friends with benefits to lovers

A collection of friends to lovers that can be read as a multi-chapter story or independent one-shots

Thicker Than Blood

Pairing: OT9 x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03

Mafia AU

Growing up in a tough neighborhood had you learning to deal with hard situations, the occasion leads you to cooperate with the mafia organization that took care of your neighborhood - Pentagon. Looking after yourself and valuing your safety brought you to adapt to the moment, but the line between working for them and protecting yourself is very blurry when you are forced to live under their roof.

Christmas Lights Special ✿

Pairing: Reader x OT9

Index: Here

2020 Christmas inspired fluffy one-shots to warm your heart during the winter season

REDAMANCY ♡ Hui x Reader x Yeo One

(n) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

When your boyfriend Hui wasn’t treating you right, you didn’t expect someone else to do so. And you definitely did not expect Hui was going to be there to watch everything.

[or the one where Changgu shows your boyfriend how you deserve to be treated, and he likes it.]

The Things We Do In The Dark ♡ Hui x Reader x Hongseok

Treating yourself with an expensive night out turned out to be way more rewarding than you thought when you meet the two hot club owners Hui and Hongseok.

Eyes on me ♡ Hongseok x Reader x Wooseok

You always knew your friendship with Wooseok was really special, and the best part is that your boyfriend Hongseok wants to always make you happy. Who are the best people to take such good care of you if not your two favorite boys in the world?

Love Is Plural ♡ Yanan x Reader x Wooseok

Dealing with two boyfriends might be tricky, but the advantages of having twice the fun make everything better.

Triple Fun ♡ Yuto x Reader x Wooseok

An uneventful movie night ends up becoming way more fun than you would have imagined

Watch Me ♡ Shinwon x Reader x Hui

An open relationship takes a lot of trust and friendship, and that is not a problem for you and your boyfriend Shinwon, especially when he's so cool about your crush on one of his best friends - Hui.

Mixtapes and Love letters ✿ Jinho x Reader x Hui

A mix-up of feelings makes a mix-up of letters, but much to your surprise, Jinho and Hui come through with their feelings for you.

(One-Shot)

Lee Hwitaek (Hui)

Take Me Higher ♡ You're assigned for a different flight than you were used to, but once you saw Hui there you knew it was going to be a fun trip.

Sweet Melody ♡ You showed up at your boyfriend’s band practice to support and take care of him and seeing how tired he was, you just had to do something to boost his energy and reward him after such hard work.

High Heels and Night Skies ♡ "My lifestyle demands certain appearances that would be much better with you accompanying me, and I can provide everything you need to. You would have to be available and ready for our…" he paused "dates"

"So you want to be my sugar daddy?" You scoffed, more amused than offended.

Complicated ♡ Your ex gets really jealous after seeing you flirting with someone else at a party, and he makes sure you don't forget anymore who do you belong to.

Jo Jinho (Jinho)

Wonderfully Wrong ✰ ✿ When you thought your boyfriend Jinho forgot your anniversary it really upset you, but later that night you realized how wrong you were

Closer ♡ You thought you would be nervous on your first time with your boyfriend Jinho, but everything about being with him is simply perfect.

Skinny Love ✿ You didn't understand why your roommate was so angry when his friends started interacting with you, but everything was clear when he decided to be honest with you

Baby, pull me closer ✰♡ If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. When you were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

Yang Hongseok (Hongseok)

Reuniting ♡ Coming back home and meeting with your best friend, you weren’t expecting the night to take such a surprising turn.

Lazy Days and Loving Touches ♡ Doing nothing with your boyfriend can be interesting when your boyfriend is Hongseok.

Meant To Be ✰ ✿ You didn’t think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

Ko Shinwon (Shinwon)

Warm Water, Slow Hands ♡ After having a rough day at work, a relaxing bath prepared by your boyfriend Shinwon is the best thing you could have asked for.

Late Night Gym ♡ Going to the gym isn’t always the part of the night you look forward to the most, but after you started flirting with Shinwon things just might work out well for you.

Focus ♡ Your boyfriend Shinwon puts you in your place when you lash out at him after a bad day, and you love every second of it.

Play For The Win ✿ Shinwon and you discover a common passion and it turns out that the soccer stadium is the perfect place to fall in love

Just Breathe ✿ When the world seems to be closing around you, your boyfriend Shinwon is the only one who can make you feel like breathing again

Yeo Changgu (Yeo One)

Drip ♡ Seeing Changgu looking so handsome at a wedding leads you two to a steamy shower after the party.

Elysian ♡ Spending Valentine’s day with your boyfriend is always special, and Changgu knows how to make you happy in every possible way.

So Bad ✿ You couldn’t find a better way to put your feelings into words, so you let a song speak for you when you couldn’t hold back your feelings for Changgu.

Lovers In The Night ♡ Dating an idol is already hard, and when you debut it gets even harder, but your boyfriend Changgu knows just how to make up for all the time spent apart

Yan An (Yanan)

Scintilla ♡ Having to deal with the most handsome and cocky nemesis can be fun when that person is Yanan

Sparke (Scintilla pt.2) ♡ Falling for your enemy can be dangerous, but Yanan doesn't make it easy to just forget about him.

Lunar Love ♡ Stuck between forbidden love and duty to the kingdom, decisions under the moonlight may change everything

Oblivious ✿ It all feels right when you and Yanan admit you love each other more than friends.

Adachi Yuto (Yuto)

Halloween Party ♡ At a Halloween party, you had let your insecurities take the best of you, but Yuto showed you that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

Vorfreude ♡ Vorfreude (n). The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.

Into You ✿ First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun, and Yuto definitely is the best company for that.

In The Dark ✿ Late-night feelings always seem more intense, but it's better when they are mutual.

Fireworks In My Heart ✿ going to a lantern festival with Yuto

Afterglow ♡ comforting Yuto after he's had a long day.

Kang Hyunggu (Kino)

Die For You ✻ Being taken hostage turns out to be what you needed to find what you have always been looking for.

Earned It ♡ Secretly dating the Teacher’s Assistant has its perks, especially when you two get the classroom all by yourselves and he enjoys his new pet name.

Among Flowers ♡ If you had to pick a favorite place on earth, it would be your boyfriend’s flower shop. A new relationship can come with a few insecurities, but nothing that would be a problem for you and Hyunggu

Something About You ♡ Visiting Hyunggu in his studio ends up with you helping him finish his song in the best way you could have thought.

Blossom ✿ You can see all the colors perfectly, except your soulmate’s favorite, but you were a little skeptical about that. You just didn’t expect to be proven wrong when your best friend’s brother takes you on a fake date.

Sunrise ✿ Spending the night getting to know Hyunggu better is as sweet as it sounds.

Jung Wooseok (Wooseok)

DO or NOT ♡ To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU

Come With Me ♡ Your boyfriend Wooseok tries to convince you to move in with him with a very compelling argument.

Safe Place ✿ Wooseok comforts you after you second guess your attitudes on a drunken night.

Third Time Is The Charm ✿ Two times you and Wooseok didn't kiss, and one time you did.

Play With Fire ♡ Working with Pentagon becomes harder when Wooseok notices you. It doesn't help that he looks extremely hot in the new concept.

Teach Me ♡ The boys were making fun of Wooseok for not being as experienced as them, and since you two have always been good friends, you decided it was a good idea to give him the help he needs.

Secret Rendezvous ♡ After the last encounter, Wooseok was acting a little weird and distant, but the boys made sure to help you two get closer again. Really closer.

Impulsive ♡ A lot of things go through your head when you think about your relationship with Wooseok - and so you feel very conflicted. You two can’t help but go for each other every time you are together, but where will that lead you two?

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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 years ago

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M&M’s

Summary: Need a tutor? Well, you’ve come to the right school, we have just the one for you. And he’s attractive too.

Do or Not Series

Fluff

Word Count: 2,346

Hongseok X Reader

Of all my time at school, I never thought I would need tutoring. I was an A+ student when I started failing my classes. My grades were in the trash, and I had no idea how to improve or even raise them. How do you even study? Why is college structured like this? UGH! So now here I am sitting in the Dean’s office listening to them preach about how I need to learn from this person to pass. That they won’t hold it against me if I pass because of this tutor. All I have to do is pass the exams, and if I pass. I will move up to the Sophomore year. How am I supposed to pass a class that I’m not participating? And who is this person they are setting me up with? As if to answer my question, they say, “He should be here any moment.”

Like on queue, the door opens to reveal a rather attractive guy. They expect me to be able to study next to him? Oh god, I am so screwed, even worse than I was before. Okay, (Y/n), put your game face on and act like he does not affect you. “This is your tutor, Hongseok, and Hongseok this is (Y/n). I think you two will do well together.” We exchange a polite ‘hello’. Then the Dean tells him what the expectations are for the both of us. And I cannot help but feel my anxiety spike at each time he mentions ‘study’, ‘quiz’, and ‘pass’. What happened to cruising through school? Why is it no longer easy to pass? What did I miss when I was younger?

I was missing the old school structure. That I was memorizing what they said to forget it later. Because back then, as long as I knew the basics, I could pass. It wasn't like those classes were hard either. They repeated the same things over and over. So it was easy to remember, Hongseok had explained to me at our first meeting in the library. He wanted to know why I was failing and what made me remember best. I shrugged and said, 'probably repetition and listening' I wasn't sure, but that was the best guess I had. I never thought of ways to study because I never needed to beforehand. He grinned, “I know you wouldn’t believe it, but my first year here, I didn’t study. I didn’t know how or what worked for me or how I even learned. It took me to the last semester to realize what it was. Once it clicked, it was too late, and I barely passed my exams. To make up for me failing everything else, they asked me to tutor someone.” While I couldn’t believe my ears, something in my gut told me he wasn’t lying. Thus I decided that he was my best bet to make it into my sophomore year.

The following Wednesday, we are stuck inside the library again. When we get settled in our seats, he pulls out two packages of m&m’s. “What are those for?” I ask, and he shrugs and says, “You’ll see.” I pull out my books, a pencil, and a notebook. I’m worried he will look down on me for not having any past homework or past tests. But I threw them all out in exhaustion and frustration. I couldn’t deal with that massive amount of failure. But rather than saying anything, he pulls out some flashcards and a calculator. “Let’s start with math.”

Every time I got a question right, he gave me an m&m. My stomach growled at me every time I would get something wrong and lose out on an m&m. Not that I couldn’t reach in and get one, but the m&m's are rewards for whenever I get something right. Plus, he would give me his charming smile every time I got something correct, so I strived to get them correct.

It wasn’t until we finished math and science and we were walking out together. That I noticed, he was catering to the way I learned. Repeating steps with me or asking me the questions out loud and going through the steps with me. Whether it be an example or how to fix my mistakes, my heart skips a beat as he asks to walk me home.

"So, do you like university other than this?" I shrug, "It could be better, but generally I like it. Everyone I met is kind, like my roommates Changgu and Yanan. Like you're kind and sweet, I wanna thank you for helping me out." He grins, "You're helping me out too. I don't think either of us wishes to repeat Freshman year." I laugh and agree, "What about you? Do you like it here?" He shrugs, "It's okay. I don't have a roommate, but I have quite a few friends. So it helps, plus once you know how to study, it makes it so much easier." I laugh, "Yeah,... if I ever get to that point." When we reach my dormitory I tell him, "This is my stop." As I head inside, he yells, “I’ll see you this Sunday for History and [Subject].” I yell back my agreement and walk up the stairs to my room. I thought this would drag and not want to show up. But he makes me look forward to studying with him. Throwing my finished m&m bag away, I walk to my dorm with a proud smile on my face.

Like clockwork every Wednesday and Sunday, I spend the whole afternoon studying. And he would ask me to study for little quizzes that he would give me on Thursdays. They are over everything we have ever been over together. With each test I passed, my confidence grew, and so did my feelings.

Out of all the days that I spend with him, Thursdays have to be the hardest. With each test, I take the harder they become. I feel like my soul almost leaves my body every time he grades them. How his face turns up in cute ways, trying to figure out my process. Or when I get something right, he sends me a beautiful smile or his pout when I miss a question. His faces make my heart flutter while my stomach wants to throw up from fear of failure. Between the two, I can never seem to stomach Thursdays.

While I have learned my study pattern, I still have to pass this course with him or I fail. While I’m taking a quiz, three Thursdays before my exam, he tells me. “I can already tell you that you are going to succeed with flying colors. So if you fail this quiz, take it with a grain of salt. You have to fail sometimes to succeed.” The first page was easy I knew all the answers without a problem. I rushed through them, and the next page was a little harder. When I got to the eighth page, I was starting to question whether I was studying. What does the eighth number of pi have anything to do with this course? I wish to cry as I take my best guess, which is all I can do when I reach the tenth page. I sigh in relief, it’s the last page it can’t be that hard, can it? Oh, yes, yes it can. “If you take the 4th number of the last answer. [Which I am positive I did not get right, considering that I only gave a two-digit answer to the last question]. Exponentially expand it by twenty-two. What is the number you get?” And that is the first part of the ten parted question. My brain craves a nap and a family-size bag of m&m’s.

By the time I finish the last page, I am running on one brain cell. That is running around, throwing all the files in my brain into a shredder, and giving up. How did I not know a single answer after the third page? His face is in a pout after the second page, and my heart breaks. I don’t want him to disappoint him. I should study harder to make him proud of me. I groan internally, this is going worse than I expected. “Out of thirty questions, you got seven right!” He says in a cheery tone, and my heart falls out of my body, and my soul has ascended.

“Remember what I said when you started taking the test?” I rack my brain for answers and find nothing. I shake my head 'no', and he pouts, “Aw,... Well, I said take it with a grain of salt. Maybe some quizzes are made impossible.” My jaw drops, “You did that on purpose--!” He shrugs, “Did I?” He makes me rethink what I said, and I pout and cross my arms over my chest. He hands me a pack of m&m’s, “Maybe study harder.” He winks, and I push him to the side when we get up to leave the building. “You know you passed the hardest question on the quiz, right?” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “What?” He grins, “None of your work made sense, but in the end, you answered four on the last question, and that was the right answer.” I smile, “Sometimes taking your best guess works. Also, four happens to be the professor's favorite number, so if you aren’t sure, guess that.” My jaw drops open again as he ruffles my hair, “You did pretty well, (Y/n).” I brighten at his words and hug him. “I promise to study hard! Two more quizzes before the final test!” He laughs and hugs me back telling me, “You got this!”

It wasn’t until the last study session that I realized how much I would miss Hongseok’s presence. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and when I got to my room, I was bawling. I wanted to see him more. I wanted to be around him and get to know him more. It took me a few moments, but I realized I fell for my tutor. How could I not? When I had a tutor like Hongseok,... Based on all calculations, I have a crush on him. I wonder if he likes me back, but there is only one way to know. Do I have enough courage for that? I’m not sure. I sigh and wipe my tears, saving them for a less important day. I need to study and pass these four exams.

I spend hours studying for tomorrow, although I know my study method. It did not make studying any less boring. I missed Hongseok, who would crack a joke or grab us a snack. He made this so much easier studying five hours with him felt like two. Ugh, now five hours of studying feels like fifteen. At the sixth hour, I call it a day and pull the covers over my head, and dream of failing the exams.

When my alarm clock finally rings, I’m happy to be up and away from those horrid dreams. With a brave face, I get ready for my exam day. I check my phone and see it’s Hongseok. He texted me, “Good luck on your exams! Fighting! You got this!” I smile and text him back, ‘thank you'. I got this, I keep reiterating to myself, but I can’t help but hear the doubtful voice in the back of my head. I am taking all my exams in one instance. So that means five hours of taking four different tests. While I know all the study sessions were preparing me for this moment, I want it to be over and done with already.

Of course, none of the tests were easy they each pulled at my wit's end. I sit there for another thirty minutes waiting for them to grade my tests. Preparing myself for the worst news, I think about Hongseok’s encouragement. If he thinks I’ll pass, maybe he’s right. If it wasn’t just my grades on the line, I wouldn’t care as much. But when it comes to Hongseok, my heart is grasping at the hope that I made it above passing.

The professor looks up at me as I turn a page in my book. I set it down with a bookmark. They smile at me, “Your lowest is an 87,” I gulp, no way, “Your highest is a 99.” My brain is no longer processing words as I rush out of my seat to see my results. “Congratulations, (Y/n). You passed with flying colors.” I smile and shake their hand, thanking them, and skip out of the building. I passed. I really passed! Is this real? I'm not dreaming again, right? I pinch myself and let out a small ‘ouch’ definitely real. I skip out of the building and see someone wearing a blue sweatshirt sitting on the fountain. As I come up closer, I recognize them as Hongseok. I run up to him and hug him. He whispers, “Did you pass?” And I shake my head 'yes'. He runs his hands through my hair, “I knew you would! I’m so proud of you.” Hearing him say that my heart pounds, “Um, Hongseok,...” I pull away from him a bit, my arms still wrapped around him. He nods for me to continue, “Would you maybe,... possibly want to go on a date with me?” He smiles, “I was gonna ask you that!” We both laugh as he hands me a family-size pack of m&m's for us to share. We head over to my dorm, and that is the start of our new beginning.

While we still study together, you can find us lying on the floor while watching the tv and throwing m&m's at each other. Making different kinds of foods together, making an even bigger mess in the kitchen. So yeah, if given the opportunity, I would fail my classes all over again. If it meant I got to meet Hongseok.

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gwentoryfics · 4 years ago

Text

Hot for Teacher, Part 9

GENRE | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

PAIRING | Reader x Hongseok x Hyunggu (Kino) x Wooseok

WORDS | 13.5k (oops)

SUMMARY | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

WARNINGS | Swearing. Angggssstttt. Explicit smut. Penetrative sex. Oral sex (female receiving).

PARTS | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • More Coming Soon

NOTE | This one was so hard to write! Thank you as always for your patience 💕 I’ll be waiting 24 hours to answer any asks you peaches send in so as not to spoil anything for other readers, but please let me know what you think! Also let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

TAGS | @day6grams, @heyheydee7, @hhhongseok, @jinjinmyworld, @kkxn0, @precious-seungwooya, @seraplantery, @the-deviant-world, @yeosang-ponytail

You wake up in the morning in a bed that’s clearly not your own and a smile comes to your lips when you remember everything that happened last night. You never imagined that you’d have such a crazy night with Yanan and Changgu, but you don’t regret it for one second. You give yourself a moment to stretch before climbing out of Changgu’s bed, noticing the mellow soreness in your muscles.

You slip on your clothes from the party and head out to the common area of the apartment, where Yanan and Changgu are both hard at work in the kitchen.

“Good morning,” you sing-song, still feeling satisfied from last night.

Both boys turn around and smile at you. Yanan coos, “Morning, sweetheart.”

The pet name sends a tingle through you.

Changgu whisks something in a bowl as he greets you. “I was just about to make some scrambled eggs. Want some?”

“Yes, please.” You smile warmly and plop yourself down on one of the barstools at the kitchen island.

Yanan prepares a second cup of coffee and places it in front of you. “You’re in awfully high spirits this morning.”

“Yeah, thank you for that,” you raise an eyebrow as you blow on the top of your steaming coffee. Yanan gives you a flirty grin before drinking his own coffee and then peeling off to grab some fresh fruit from the refrigerator.

Changgu pours the eggs into a frying pan and starts cooking up your breakfast. “Glad to hear you had fun last night. You certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

“It was… great.” There are a million stronger adjectives you could use, such as amazing, incredible, magical, mind-blowing… but you don’t want to boost their egos too much. “Do you guys do this often?”

Changgu shrugs. “It’s sort of an occasional thing. Our tastes in women don’t always overlap, unfortunately. And even if we find someone we’re both interested in, she might not be interested in both of us.”

You hum and nod. It definitely doesn’t seem like something that could just magically fall into place super frequently. But based off of last night, you’re willing to bet that both boys are impressive lovers even on their own. They were each so attentive and responsive, and the amount of aftercare you received when you finally wrapped up the night made the whole night absolutely heavenly.

“So _____,” Yanan leans over the island, pushing a bowl of fruit your way. “I meant to ask last night, but you’re old enough to come out with us to Andy’s next time, right?”

You frown slightly. “Not quite. I just turned twenty, so I technically have another year. Although I do have a fake ID that works just fine as long as there’s no one there to call me out on it.”

He scoffs, clearly remembering the run-in with Professor Yang that ruined the night last time you went out with them. “Yeah, Hongseok really knows how to ruin a good time, doesn’t he?”

“Why do you insist on calling him by his first name?” It catches you off guard every time, especially because the professor has been so explicit about his preferences when it comes to the way students address him. You’re willing to bet that, based on the way he and Yanan interacted and the fact that Yanan uses his first name, they must know each other outside of school. “Do you have something against him?”

Yanan takes a long sip of his coffee before responding. “Perhaps I do. But I’ll tell you this, he sure as hell started it.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Changgu pipes up as he transfers the eggs to a plate. “That’s a pretty big can of worms you’re trying to open.”

“Well you can’t just say something like that and expect me not to be curious! Now I need to know.”

Yanan pulls up a stool. “I went to a different school for a year and a half before transferring here. Washington University.”

You immediately recognize the university as being the most prestigious school in the city. It’s stupid expensive, and it’s really hard to get in. “You went to Washington?”

He nods. “And so did Hongseok. I met him there while he was getting his Masters degree. We both worked in the Mathematics Department office.” Yanan bites down onto a strawberry. “We got along okay, but I wouldn’t say we were ever friends. Our work schedules occasionally overlapped and we were cordial with each other. But one day he heard me bragging to a friend about how I’d slept with my Economics professor to boost my grade. Business school wasn’t for me, so I did what I could to make it a little easier.”

Your eyes widen and you’re struck with something that feels kind of like… panic? “You slept with your professor?”

“I did,” he responds proudly. “And then Hongseok turned me in to the Dean. She got fired and I lost all of my scholarship money, so I transferred. What are the odds that he’d end up over here too?” He chuckles darkly.

Yanan interrupts your train of thought. “I think he was just pissed because he worked so hard and he didn’t think it was fair that I was trying to take the easy way out. To that, I say that nothing in life is fair and he needs to get over himself.”

You try to seem as natural as possible despite the slight discomfort seeping into your bones. “Oh man, I can’t believe you had to transfer because of all that. That basically changed your whole future, right?”

“It did, but I’m not terribly torn up about it.” Yanan dismisses the thought with a wave of his hand. “I had fun with my professor, but I’ve enjoyed my time at this school more than I ever did at Washington. It might be less prestigious, and I might be getting a music degree instead of a business degree, but I didn’t ever have much interest in business anyway.”

You nod slowly, at least glad to hear that Yanan’s doing okay. “You still seem to have a bit of a grudge towards Professor Yang, though.”

“That I do. Not just because he turned me in, though. I don’t particularly like the way he looks down on me all the time. He’s got a real ego problem.”

“You’ve got that right,” you murmur, thinking about the way Professor Yang first confronted you at the beginning of the year, how he assumed you must have been obsessively crushing on him to the point of intentionally seducing him at the wedding. He does seem to be quite a bit self-absorbed.

Changgu speaks up. “What about you, _____? It seemed like you and Professor Yang were pretty familiar with each other.”

And just like that, your ease gives way to mild anxiety. “Oh, I’m just in his class.” You try to brush it off.

Changgu nods, but you’re not really sure that he believes you. He serves you your eggs. “You know, I followed the two of you outside when he insisted on sending you home. Things between you seemed… heated.”

“Mm,” you hum, letting yourself take a bite of your eggs as you scramble to come up with an excuse. “It was just all of the adrenaline from the surprise performance I had to give, you know. And it’s easy to just return his fire with fire, especially because, you know, he’s messed up my grades a few times and I’ve had to have multiple talks with him about that, so like, there’s just tension, you know, but it’s not really a big deal or anything...” Like an idiot you ramble and over-share, just like you always do when you’re put on the spot.

“I see.” Changgu raises an eyebrow.

Yanan’s brow furrows as he tries to comprehend the beans you just spilled. “You’re telling me that Hongseok, the mathematical genius, messed up your grades?”

“Yeah, it’s so stupid, right? I don’t know what his deal is.” You force out an awkward laugh and follow it with a lie to try to soften the damage you’ve done. “It happened with my friend, too... I think he must just get distracted while he’s grading or something. Who knows?”

Yanan seems unwilling to let it go as he presses, “He boosts your grades?”

You nod, completely incapable of thinking through actions or words before letting them happen. “Ah, yeah. But it’s kind of a mix, I guess.”

And then the shittiest grin comes to Yanan’s lips. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Don’t tell me he’s got a thing for you.”

It’s such an easy conclusion to come to, and you led him right to it. Now you’re totally frozen and unsure of how to respond. How are you supposed to answer that?

Changgu comes to your rescue, placing a hand on Yanan’s shoulder as he speaks. “Even if he does, it’s not her fault, and she doesn’t seem particularly comfortable with all of this, so why don’t we let it go? It’s all speculation, anyway.”

“Of course.” Yanan nods curtly, and an uncomfortable silence falls between the three of you.

The irony of this whole situation is not lost on you. If anything happens between you and Professor Yang, he’d be nothing less than a hypocrite now that you know he got Yanan in trouble for the same behavior. And if Yanan were to ever hear about it, you’re not confident that any interest he has in you would overshadow the opportunity for revenge. You’re just collateral damage in his feud with Professor Yang.

Getting close to these boys might be more dangerous than you originally thought.

Monday night rolls around, and you know you should be getting ready to head out for R&B ensemble… but instead you just anxiously pace through your living room, completely unsure if you can work up the courage to see Kino tonight.

You haven’t said a word to each other since your birthday party. He hasn’t even texted to indicate he wanted to walk with you to practice tonight, and you can’t say you blame him. You were kind of a huge dick to him after you kissed. You weren’t really in a good frame of mind to actually talk it through with him at the party, but the longer you wait to talk to him, the less of an excuse you have. You’re completely sober now, and you were yesterday, too. He’s one of your best friends - there’s no reason why you can’t talk to him about this.

Really you know it’s because, no matter how close you are with him, you’re absolutely terrified about how badly the conversation could go.

You care about Kino so much. You honest-to-God love the kid. But do you care about him romantically?

You pull your phone out and write out a quick text to Wooseok: Not feeling well, so I’m going to rest tonight. Can you tell teach I’m going to miss practice?

You just can’t work up the nerve to go in tonight.

Wooseok responds: No prob. U need anything?

You: No I’m ok, thank you though.

Wooseok: K. Rest up, short stuff.

Dropping your phone onto the couch, you resort to just jumping up and down because you’re so full of nervous energy. You don’t even want to start thinking about everything that’s transpired between you and Wooseok on top of your situation with Kino. He also hasn’t said much to you since the party, and you can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you ditched your own party to bang Yanan and Changgu.

That shouldn’t have bothered him since you agreed to only be friends, and it’s definitely not a decision you regret making. That night with the two seniors was incredible, even if the morning after took a turn for the worse.

Inevitably, your mind returns to Kino. You let out a low groan and burst into the bedroom where Nailah has been studying.

“Nailahhhhh,” you groan. “I don’t know what to do.”

Nailah holds up a finger and continues reading, and you just stand there jittering in silence while you wait for her to finish. After a solid thirty seconds that feels like five minutes, she snaps her textbook shut and looks up at you. “What’s wrong, boo?”

“I have to talk to Kino but I don’t want to.”

“About what? The fact that you guys made out?”

You bite your lip and nod. “I haven’t talked to him since the party and I feel awful about it and I know that we need to just have a conversation but I’m terrified about what’ll happen and I honestly don’t even know how I feel?” Words come out of you stupidly fast as you try to express everything that you’re feeling.

She checks her phone, presumably to see what time it is. “Don’t you usually have a class tonight?”

“R&B Ensemble. I’m skipping. Not ready to see Kino yet.”

Nailah gives you a once-over, gets up from her bed, and starts digging through her dresser drawers. “You’ve got too much energy. Let’s go to the gym and work this out.”

“The gym?” Your mind briefly flashes back to the last time you went to the gym with her and you crossed paths with Professor Yang. That’s… potentially less of a problem right now. Hell, seeing Professor Yang working out would probably be a welcome distraction from everything with Kino. So what if he’s there? Besides, Nailah’s right - it would be nice to do something with all of this energy you’ve got right now. “Okay, yeah. Good idea.”

Nailah sits you down at the bicep curl machine and she squats in front of you while you try to do a few reps. “So talk to me about what happened. I know what I saw, but I want to hear it from you.”

You let out a strained exhale as you pull the handles up towards your chest. “I went out for some air, and Kino came out, and we were dancing to the music and I told him I love him.”

“What?” Her eyes widen.

“I do, though!” You pull up again. “Like the same way I love you, you know? And I think he took it to be something romantic, and then he kissed me. And I kissed him back.”

“Did you like it?”

Pull. “I did. He’s a good kisser.”

“But you’re conflicted.”

“Yeah.” Pull. “Because I don’t know if I like him that way. And I think he might like me that way. And what if I decide that I don’t like him that way, and then it ruins our friendship?”

“Is there a chance you might like him that way?”

You drop the handles. Is there? You think about all of the times you’ve hung out in practice rooms, all of the notes you send each other during class. And then you think about the dance showcase, the feeling of his fingers intertwined with yours, the press of his lips as he kissed your forehead that night. It’s undeniable that your heart beats a little faster as you think about him. “Shit. Maybe?”

“Okay.” Nailah nods. “Maybe isn’t a great answer.”

“I know,” you grumble. “That doesn’t give me any kind of clarity.”

“So just imagine that you talk to him about the kiss, and he tells you he likes you and he might even be interested in dating. How does that make you feel?” Nailah asks, and then she gestures to the machine to encourage you to keep going.

You pull up again. “I feel overwhelmed.”

“Now imagine that instead, he says that he was confused and he didn’t really mean it. He wants to stay friends. How does that make you feel?”

“...less overwhelmed.”

“That says a lot, doesn’t it?”

“But what if I’m only overwhelmed because it’s different, not because I dislike it?” Pull harder. “What if I’m less overwhelmed by staying friends just because that’s what I’m used to?”

“Well that’s something you’re going to have to examine. I don’t have the answer to that.” Nailah stands, crossing her arms over her chest.

You huff loudly, letting go of the bar again. “Why is this so difficult?”

“Are you telling me that you’re surprised that you don’t know what you want? Sweetie, indecision is your middle name,” she teases. “You made out with Kino and then slept with two other guys all in the same night. And don’t even get me started on whatever the hell is going on between you and that Wooseok kid.”

You feel your cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. “What do you mean? Why are you bringing up Wooseok?”

“I’m not dumb, _____. You’ve obviously got something going on with him. So ‘fess up.”

“Can I switch machines first?”

Nailah stands and gestures for you to come along. You sit side by side at two leg press machines, and you try not to feel intimidated by the amount of weight she sets on her machine. Once you’re both settled in, she looks over at you expectantly.

“So…” You try to figure out where to start, and then you decide you just need to dish the whole story. Besides, he’s already told Yuto about all of it, so you should get to have a confidante, too. “I offered to tutor him in music theory because he was struggling, and it was totally fine. Then one night he invited me over to his place when I was feeling particularly… feisty… and we got drunk and made out.”

“Ah, the Queen of Bad Decisions strikes again.” Nailah chuckles. “Continue.”

Her comment makes you roll your eyes, but it feels good that she’s so lighthearted about it. “So then we talked about it later and decided that we both would be okay with, like, occasionally hooking up in a totally casual way.”

She nods slowly. “You know, if I remember correctly, I believe I actually suggested you try hooking up with him, didn’t I?”

“Sure did,” you acknowledge with a flat tone, remembering the lunchtime conversation you had that feels like forever ago.

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Maybe like… a month and a half?”

“Okay, okay.” Nailah just keeps nodding. “Obviously I approve, but it’s also important that you feel comfortable with your choices and you’ve got a lot going on right now.”

It feels good to get all of this off of your chest. So good, in fact, that you contemplate filling her in on everything regarding Yanan and Professor Yang as well. But at this point nothing is happening between you and him, so there’s really no reason to talk about it. “You’re right. There’s just… a lot to think about.”

“Maybe Thanksgiving break will be good for you. You can head home, spend some time with your family, and avoid all of these boys for a long weekend. That might give you the time you need to clear your head and figure out what you want.” She pushes the machine with her legs, thigh muscles impressively bulging.

“Yeah. That’ll be nice.” You really are looking forward to heading home in a few days. It’ll be so nice to see Minseo again and get a break from all of the drama you’ve managed to create for yourself. “Can we be done here, now? You know I can’t match your stamina.”

Nailah laughs and gives one last push. “Sure, sweetie. Let’s head home.”

Even though working out with Nailah and talking it over with her helps you feel a little more at ease, it still doesn’t prepare you for the phone call you receive when you’re back at the apartment.

Your phone lights up as it vibrates, the name City Boy pulling up on the screen.

“Nailah, he’s calling me.” You panic.

“Well answer it.” Nailah encourages you. “Now’s as good a time as any to talk it out.”

You almost let it go to voicemail, but at the last second you swipe to answer. Awkwardly, you say, “Heyyy! Kino, hey. What’s up?”

“Hey, _____.” He sounds incredibly mellow. “Are you feeling alright? Wooseok said you’re sick.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just… just had a headache, that’s all.” You rub your forehead as you try to figure out what to tell him, and you duck into the bedroom to have a private conversation. “Thanks for checking in on me, though.”

“Of course.” Pause. “Um, so you’re probably home right now, right?”

“Mhm. Just resting,” you lie.

“Flash your light for me. I’m in my room, too.”

You do as he asks, and then you sit on the floor by your floor-to-ceiling window and look for his signal. Once you spot his room, you say, “Found you.”

Kino waves gently up at you, and you wave back. Then he clears his throat and runs his hand through his hair. “So I guess the reason I actually called is because I kind of had the feeling you might be avoiding me, and I know it’s not even a big deal because it’s only been, like, two days that we haven’t talked, and it’s totally understandable that you might want some space, but I just felt so bad that you didn’t come to rehearsal tonight and I don’t want you to avoid things you love because of me.”

You wait until he gets it all off of his chest, sitting quietly while you try to figure out how to respond.

“I’m really sorry, _____. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that when we were both kind of out of it. And now I’m just terrified that I messed up so badly that I’m going to lose you completely, and I can’t stand the thought of it.”

“Kino…”

“You don’t have feelings for me, do you?”

You can hear the reservation in his voice. This is terrifying territory for both of you. You take a deep breath and respond as honestly as you can. “I don’t know. I care about you a lot, but I’m not sure yet if any of it is romantic.” He doesn’t respond right away, so you ask, “What about you? Do you have feelings for me?”

Kino sighs quietly. “Actually, I don’t know, either. I might. But if that’s not what you want, I can absolutely squash that so we can keep being friends. That’s the most important thing to me.”

You sit quietly for a moment. “I think I need time. I’ve just never really thought about you that way, but then after you kissed me… I don’t know. I’m really sorry that I’m so confused by all of this. I really wish I could give you a straight answer.”

“It’s okay.” Kino’s voice is warm. “You don’t have to push yourself in one direction or the other. We can just sit on it for a little bit, and maybe talk about it after break once you’ve had some time to think?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” you respond softly, grateful that he’s not pushing you for an answer one way or the other.

“But I guess one thing I’d like to know now is, are we still friends?”

“Yes! Of course we are,” you respond without hesitation. “No matter what we decide, we’ll stay friends at the very least.”

“Okay good.” He smiles up at you from his window. “You’re going home for break, right?”

“Mhm, I’m taking the train out on Wednesday night,” you say. “What about you? Are you visiting your family?”

“Yeah. I don’t really want to, though.”

Based on past conversations with Kino, and the emotional performance he choreographed for the showcase, you’ve pieced together how he doesn’t have a great relationship with his parents. But you’ve never gotten the full story. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kino sighs. “It’s just hard to be around my parents. My mom is emotionally abusive and my dad doesn’t do anything to stop it. If I were an only child, there’s no way in hell I’d go back there for Thanksgiving. But I miss my sisters and I need to make sure they’re doing alright.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that. I think your sisters are really lucky to have a brother like you.”

“Thanks. I feel guilty enough that I even went to college in the first place, and I know I don’t visit home as often as I should. It was easier for me to protect my siblings when I still lived there, but I was also at my wit’s end. I can’t tell you how much better I’ve felt since starting college, as long as you don’t count the guilt of abandoning my siblings.”

“You have to look out for yourself, too, though. If you had stayed home and taken all the blows, what kind of life would you be making for yourself? If your sisters are anything like you, then I know they’re kind-hearted and strong, and they’ll make it out of the house too when it’s their turn.”

Kino sniffs, and you wonder if he’s crying. He’s just far enough away that it’s hard to tell. “You’re right.”

“You should invite your sisters to hang out with us sometime. We could all go do karaoke together or something.”

“I’m sure they’d love that! That would be really fun.” Kino sounds a little lighter now. “Thanks, _____. I’ve been so stressed about my family situation since I know I’m going home this week, and talking to you really helps me feel better.”

“Of course! What are friends for?”

“I need to get going, but there was actually one more thing I wanted to ask you about.”

“Go for it.”

“Can you be honest with me about Wooseok? You two just got so close so fast, and it’s not like that’s a problem or anything, but… do you like him? Are you two a thing? Because I’ve been suspicious for a while and I think knowing if there’s something going on between you two will help me figure out what I’m feeling.”

Your heart drops into your stomach. Why are you so afraid to be honest with him about it? At this point you’ve denied it quite a few times around him, and it sounds like he doesn’t fully believe you. So you really have no choice but to tell him the truth.

He continues. “Do you remember the night you got drunk with him and then crashed at my place? You told me about what you two did, and I just… I want to know if it happened again.”

You swallow hard, and then spit it out. “We’re just friends, but we’ve slept together a few times.”

“Ah.” Kino sounds disappointed. “And you don’t have any feelings for him?”

“I don’t.” You adamantly respond, but even as you say the words you’re not positive they’re the truth. So you say, “I mean, I don’t think I do.”

“Got it. Well thank you for telling me. I have to get going though, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

You’re surprised by how abruptly he excuses himself from the conversation, but you don’t really feel like you’re in a place to ask him to stay. “Okay. Talk to you later.”

He hangs up without saying goodbye, and you can tell that must have hurt him. You had no choice but to be honest, because it’s time you start facing your messes - even if it creates new ones in the process. But as you flop back onto your bed, you realize that Kino’s response speaks volumes about how he actually feels about you.

Anxious, you check the time on your phone again. Shinhye should be here by now, but she’s nowhere to be seen. It’s just you at the bus stop. You decide to call her just to make sure she’s actually coming.

She answers on the third ring. “Hey, _____…”

“Shinhye, are you coming? We’re going to be so late to Professor Yang’s exhibit.” You bounce on the balls of your feet as if that will help keep you warm.

“I don’t think I can make it, actually, I think I’m coming down with something. I just really don’t feel well.”

“Oh no! I’m sorry,” you pout. “That sucks. Well get lots of rest then, okay?”

“I will.” Shinhye sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I just, like, took a nap and I thought that I set an alarm, but apparently I didn’t.”

“It’s totally okay. I’ll see if someone else can go with me. You just get better.”

“I’ll do my best,” she chuckles lightly. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.”

You hang up and frown. You were really hoping she’d come with you today. Professor Yang had announced in class this morning that he’s got an exhibit tonight, and anyone who attended would get extra credit for the class. You’re genuinely interested in seeing more of the instruments he’s made, so you’re excited to go. You just don’t know if you want to go alone.

You could call Kino, since he’s usually your go-to guy whenever you need a companion, but you still feel weird about the way the conversation ended last night. It would probably be awkward for the two of you to make the trip together.

And there’s Wooseok… Maybe you should give him a ring. Things have also been a little off with him since the party, but it feels easier to ignore that weirdness than the tension between you and Kino. You go ahead and give him a call.

“_____! Heyyyy,” Wooseok drawls. “I miss you.”

“You miss me?” You laugh quietly, immediately recognizing the boozed-up drawl of his voice. “Or are you just drunk?”

He gasps. “How did you know?”

“Wooseok, it’s a Tuesday night. What are you doing getting hammered?”

“My morning class tomorrow got canceled because of TURKEY DAY WOOOOOOOO- OH SHIT-”

You hear a crash of glass, and your eyes widen. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, totallyyyy- totally fine. It’s fine. I just dropped my cup, but it’s fine. I was talking to you so I got distracted.”

“Is Minho there?”

“No, he went home already. Can you come over? I wanna see you.”

“I can’t right now, I have somewhere to be. But if you put the alcohol away and just drink water for the rest of the night, I think I can come over later.”

“Yes, ma’am. Gotta drink that water. I can do that.”

“Good,” you laugh. “Be careful, okay? And don’t try to pick up the broken glass with your hands. Just sweep it off to the side and we’ll clean it up later.”

“Why do you sound like my mom?”

“Because that’s what you need right now,” you laugh. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay. You’re great. Bye.”

You hang up. That was a bust. After a few minutes you still can’t think of anyone else you’d want to invite. But then the bus arrives and you decide that you’d rather just be on your way than try to find another person to come with.

It’s a long ride, and you’re later than you wanted to be. By the time you arrive, you pass a few other students from your class on their way out. Actually, the whole place looks pretty empty. Did you miss it?

The door is unlocked, so you let yourself in, the little bells on the handle jingling to signal your arrival. In a matter of seconds, Professor Yang’s head pops out from around a corner.

“Hey, we’re actually clo… oh, hi.” When he sees you, his eyes widen a little, made all the more obvious by the round frames that sit atop his nose. You've never seen him in glasses before, and it's a good look for him. But he could pull off literally anything, so you’re not surprised.

Still, you frown, feeling like you really wasted your time hauling ass the whole way up to the north side just to arrive as soon as it's ending. You should have just gotten on the earlier bus instead of waiting for Shinhye. “Shit, I knew I was running late, but I didn’t think I was going to miss the whole thing.”

Professor Yang steps out into the exhibit room, pulling back the sleeves of his deep blue sweater. “It’s okay, I’m not going to kick you out.”

“It sounded like you were about to,” you joke, trying to make light of the situation.

“Yeah, but you’re…” Professor Yang looks for a brief moment like he’s having difficulty deciding how to qualify you. “...my student.”

“I am,” you respond awkwardly. “Um, I know you were going to give us extra credit for being here, but you don’t have to do that since it's clearly over.”

He glances at the watch on his wrist. “If you let me show you around and tell you about some of the instruments for, like, fifteen minutes, I can give you credit.”

“That sounds good to me." You smile, but unfortunately your stupid ass can't just leave it there. You tack on, "Teach me, Professor.” And you laugh awkwardly, immediately regretting everything.

He chuckles, possibly out of politeness, and leads you to the first guitar on display. “You’re already familiar with this one. She’s the one I keep in my office.”

“I remember,” you admire the gorgeous instrument as you slip your coat off, already getting warm now that you're indoors. “She’s the reason why I was so excited to see what else you’ve built.”

“She’s one of my best, so don’t be too disappointed in the others,” he laughs.

As he walks through the exhibit with you, he speaks in detail about each of his creations. He explains to you how he decides what type of wood to work with, and his process for cutting and shaping the instruments. His collection is mostly guitars - some twelve-strings and classical guitars included - as well as ukuleles and mandolins. Although he suggested he’d only take up fifteen minutes of your time, he speaks with you about his instruments for well over an hour, and you soak up all of the information he’s willing to share with you.

During your tour, you notice more than a few empty instrument stands. “Why are some missing?”

“I sold them,” he explains. “Part of the purpose of this exhibit was to sell some of the instruments I’ve built, and the other part was to get commissions. I was successful in both parts.”

“That’s amazing! Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” He beams. “I’m eager to start working on the new projects.”

“Where do you do your building? Do you have all the tools at home?”

He shakes his head. “Definitely not. I rent a workshop space. Or if I’m able, I’ll try to do some work in the shop we use for class.” With another glance at his watch, he takes a deep breath. “Anyway, I’m sorry for talking your ear off. It’s getting late so I should really start getting packed up.”

“Oh, it’s like over over?”

“Yeah, tonight was the last of two nights. So I have to clean up, close up, and get the keys back to the shop owner first thing tomorrow morning.”

Without thinking, you offer, “I can help."

“Nonsense. I won’t make you do that.”

“You have a lot of instruments, it’ll be a lot faster if you just let me help. I don’t mind it. Honestly.”

He surveys you, angling his body directly at you for the first time all night - not that you're hyper-aware of his body language or anything. “Alright. Let’s go get the cases.”

You bring the custom-made soft cases from the back out into the exhibit space. He has them organized well, so it’s easy to find which instruments belong in which cases. In no time, you’ve got them all cased up and ready to go.

Carrying a few instruments at a time, you walk with him through the back door to the small parking lot - only three spaces available behind the building. He walks up to the dinkiest little Nissan and manually unlocks the front door, pulling a lever on the floor to pop open the trunk.

“Wow,” you can’t help but laugh. “I didn’t expect you to drive such an old-looking car.”

“Yeah, I’ve had this thing for forever. I have other more important things to put my money towards.” He lifts one of the guitars he holds, making it clear that his luthier hobby preoccupies most of his funds.

Together, you make a few trips to grab all of the instruments and load up his car, carefully placing each instrument into the trunk and back seat. Once he’s packed, you check your phone for the next bus time. The next bus isn’t for half an hour, and you frown. The damn thing is always running late anyway, so you know it’ll take much longer than thirty minutes.

“How are you getting home?” He asks, as if reading your mind.

“The bus. It’s not too far from here. I should probably head out, actually. Don’t want to miss it.” Even though you know the bus won’t show up for a while, you intentionally excuse yourself with a lie. It’s best that you just head on out.

Professor Yang checks his trusty watch yet again. “I’ll give you a ride.”

Your eyes widen. That’s the complete opposite of what should happen right now. “No, no, it’s okay. I don’t want to inconvenience you. I take the bus all the time and it’s really not a big deal. Plus it drops off right across from my dorm so it’s actually really convenient for me.”

He shakes his head, unwilling to accept it. “It’s late, it’s cold out, and this isn’t a great neighborhood. Even if it were warmer out, I still couldn’t let you stand around out here by yourself.”

You’re hesitant to accept, although a car ride does sound pretty nice. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

He nods confidently. “You’ve shown that you can be mature about our relationship, so I think this is something we can both comfortably handle.”

It’s a weird compliment, but you’ll take it. You really have been trying hard to just let things be normal between the two of you, and it seems to be going okay. And then you have an idea - as in an attempt to prove just how normal everything is, you ask him, “Do you need extra hands to help unload at your place? You’ll have to make a million trips by yourself. Since we’re... okay with each other and everything, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

He takes a moment to think. “I suppose it would be helpful.”

“Cool. We’ll just unload and then I can probably catch a bus from there. Maybe a taxi if you’re close enough to downtown that it won’t cost me a fortune.”

“I can still drive you the rest of the way,” he insists.

“Yeah, but wouldn’t it be weird if other students at the dorm saw me getting out of your car? They might get the wrong idea.”

“I’ll drop you off a block away, then.”

“Fine,” you concede. Somehow it feels like you’ve won. Profesor Yang didn’t seem to think it was possible that the two of you could look past the one night you spent together and just get along normally, yet here you are making totally regular plans to just be in each others’ presence with absolutely no tension or weirdness whatsoever. That’s a success in your book.

You hop in on the passenger’s side. The inside of the car looks about as nice as the outside, and you suppress your giggle. It shouldn’t be so funny to you that an all-business guy like Professor Yang could still drive some piece of junk car. It’s kind of endearing that he’s so… normal.

And then he gets in, turns on the car, and does the fucking dad thing - the thing where he puts the car in reverse, places a hand on the back of your seat, and completely fucking twists around to look out the back instead of just using the mirrors.

“Oh my God,” you can’t control your laughter.

Professor Yang throws a weird look your way as he backs out of the parking space. “What are you laughing at?”

“You really are an old man. You know, they give you mirrors for a reason. You should be careful twisting your back like that, you’re going to pull something in your old age, what with that frail, old-man body you’ve got.” You snicker, mimicking an elderly person with lower back pain.

“What are you talking about?” His eyes widen and he brakes, his hand still on your seat as he faces you. “First of all, I’m not even thirty yet, so cut it out. And I’m not going to address what you just said about my body because we both know that’s not even close to the truth.”

You ignore the fact that he very clearly, possibly intentionally, just reminded you that you quite intimately know what his body is like. You ignore the fact that the way he’s posed is actually really hot because of how his jacket hangs open and his sweater pulls tightly across his muscled chest. You ignore the fact that it would be so easy for him to lean over the console and kiss you.

You swallow hard. There are a million red flags, but you ignore them all. Remember that he’s completely over you.

“Okay but you did just address it by saying that,” you say, trying to sound unaffected.

“Come on, I can’t just let you talk about me that way. It’s a lot of work to stay this fit and here you are calling me frail and old like you’re not-” He bites his tongue.

“Like I’m not what?” Into it? Attracted? Drooling about it every time you picture him shirtless?

“I was going to say, ‘like you’re not walking around in a twelve-year-old’s body,’ but then I decided that would just be mean.”

Your face heats up. You really shouldn’t be talking about bodies with him right now. Not when he just said that the two of you are mature enough to just be normal with each other. It’s so tempting to remind him how not prepubescent your body is, but you finally use some good judgment and decide to watch your words. “It’s just as mean as me calling you old, so it’s only fair.”

“I guess so.” Professor Yang laughs quietly, and then he falls silent. Maybe he’s fighting the same battle as you, trying not to picture you under him. Or maybe he actually has his shit together and this isn’t an issue for him.

For once, he finally trusts you to be normal around him. You can’t blow it.

As you drive through the city, you tune into the rock music coming from his stereo. And the music selection is so ironic it fucking hurts.

“Don't want to be no uptown fool Maybe I should go to hell, but I'm doin' well, Teacher needs to see me after school...

“I think of all the education that I missed But then my homework was never quite like this Ow got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, I'm hot for teacher I got it bad, so bad, I'm hot for teacher...”

You just sit there in wide-eyed terror as Van Halen streams from the speakers, and it takes Professor Yang a minute too long to realize what’s playing. He sucks in a quick breath when he notices, and scrambles to change the station.

He settles on another rock station that’s currently playing Def Leppard, and you try to make light of the situation. “Do you only have rock stations programmed on here?”

Professor Yang clears his throat and tries to relax back in his seat, casually gripping the bottom of the steering wheel with one hand. “I just have a favorite genre, don’t act like you’re any different. I’m sure I could probably guess what you’re listening to.”

“Go ahead, then.” You laugh. “What do you think is the last song I played on my phone?”

His lips press into a line as he thinks. “Okay, this is somewhat of an educated guess. I’m going to go with “Superstitious” by Stevie Wonder.”

“Solid choice, but that’s not it.” You don’t actually remember what you were listening to earlier, but you know it wasn’t Stevie Wonder.

“Plug your phone in, then. Let’s hear it.” He fishes out the aux cord, holding it out to you.

“Oh man,” you laugh as you pull out your phone. “You’re really gonna slam me if I’ve got something stupid pulled up.”

“That’s the point. I’m testing your taste.”

It feels like he’s in exceptionally high spirits tonight. Maybe it’s because the exhibit went so well. Whatever the case, it helps you feel lighter. You plug in the phone and open your music - and luckily you’ve got a damn good song ready to go.

“You know The Emotions?” You ask him.

“Sounds familiar.”

You press play, and “Best of My Love” picks up somewhere in the middle.

“Oh, I think I know this song!” He pipes up. “Wow, I haven’t heard this in forever.”

“It’s so good! One of my favorites, actually.”

“Demonstrating free love and affection That you give so openly The way I feel about you, baby, can't explain it Want the whole wide world to see Oh, woah You’ve got the best of my love...”

You force yourself to avoid looking over at him as you listen to the lyrics, realizing just how terrible this song choice actually is given the history between the two of you. But still, it’s a little less applicable than Van Halen, so you leave it on. You just remind yourself yet again that you’re over him, and he’s over you. Whatever’s going on between you now is totally, completely normal and regular and fine.

As you both quietly listen to your music, you wonder what’s going on in Professor Yang’s head. Eventually he speaks up, and it’s a completely different topic.

“I’m excited to see how your dulcimer turns out,” he says simply.

“Me too. I feel pretty good about it.”

“I’m impressed with what you’ve done so far. I think it’ll sound quite nice once it’s finished.” He makes a right turn, sparing a glance your way. “The true test will be part of your final.”

“What do you mean?”

“For the last day of class, you’ll have to write and perform a minute-long piece on your instrument.”

You squint skeptically “Don’t you think you’re giving me a bit of an advantage by telling me that now?”

“Do you know how to play a dulcimer?”

“No.”

“Do you have access to one that you could practice on?”

“No.”

“Then no, I don’t think you’re getting an advantage. I’m going to tell everyone else about the assignment next week. They’ll all have just as much time to prepare as you.”

You suppose that makes sense and he isn’t actually giving you any kind of benefit, but you can’t help thinking of all of the bogus grade adjustments you’ve had to confront him about. It sits with you weirdly, and you struggle to decide whether you should say anything about it.

Eventually you reach your destination. He lives in a cute little neighborhood on the north side in one of those little houses that has been converted into apartments. There aren’t any open parking spots on the street in front of his place, but he manages to find a spot on the next block.

As he parallel parks, he turns around in his seat again to look out the back. And this time when he twists, he hisses and grabs his back like he’s in pain. “Ah, so old…”

It’s incredibly obvious that he’s faking because he’s a terrible actor, and you laugh. “This is why we have mirrors.”

He laughs with you and finishes pulling into the space. You both hop out and grab a few instruments from the back, and you let him lead the way down the sidewalk.

Professor Yang pauses at the door while he fishes for the right key. “I should warn you, I have a cat. Are you allergic?”

“Nope,” you smile. “I love cats!”

“He can be a little shy so he might not say hello.” He opens the main door and holds it open for you to step inside. You’re confronted with two more doors - one straight ahead and one to the right. He slips past you to unlock the one in front of you. He flips the light switch, illuminating the full length of the wooden staircase that heads directly up into his apartment. “Sorry to make you go up and down so many stairs. If you want, you can just stay down here and I’ll do all the heavy lifting.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoff. “I’m here to help. I’m not just going to stand around and watch.” You confidently cross the threshold into his apartment, taking the literal first step into his personal life. You feel kind of nervous about coming inside, but you suck it up. This is only a big deal if you make it one, and you refuse to do that.

The stairs drop you off at a hallway that stretches off to your left, and an open kitchen and living room area is off to the right. You can’t see too much of it because the lights over there are still turned off, but you can see the tall window-doors that lead to the balcony outside.

“You can drop them off in the living room. Don’t worry about taking shoes off since we’re just heading back out again anyway.” He comes up behind you and flips another light, illuminating the living room and kitchen.

You do as he instructs, placing the instruments against the wall in the living room. The room is minimally decorated with a nice couch, a single armchair, and two large bookcases filled to the brim with books - save for the one shelf that is packed with vinyl records. It doesn’t surprise you to see so many books and records - he seems like he’s very well-read, and he’s enough of a music lover that of course he’d enjoy listening to records.

As much as you want to check out his collection, you know that you shouldn’t explore his apartment. You’re here to unload his instruments. That’s it.

You force yourself to turn away from the bookshelves and vaguely gesture towards the stairs. “Shall we?”

It takes a few trips, but eventually you get all of the instruments inside. All the while you’re incredibly aware of how close he is when he holds the doors open for you, or how damn cute the back of his head is when you’re following him down the stairs. You hate it - how can the back of a head be cute?

Over and over, you remind yourself: I’m over him. I’m over him.

You set down the last guitar with a small sigh. “I can’t imagine you having to do all of this by yourself. I’m glad I came to help.”

“I could have handled it, but thank you for your assistance.” Professor Yang steps into the kitchen. “Do you need anything to drink before I take you home?”

“Oh, no, thank you.” You shake your head, not wanting to impose. “Um, but can I use your restroom?”

“Sure. It’s the second door down the hall.” He gestures around the corner.

You follow his directions. When you’re finished peeing and washing your hands, you notice a pretty blue cologne bottle sitting on his counter. You pick it up and sniff it. Sure enough, it’s exactly the cologne you remember smelling on him. It’s absolutely delicious, and against your better judgment, you spritz it once on the inside of your jacket, zipping it up to lock in the scent and hopefully keep him from noticing the weird-as-fuck thing you just did.

When you come out of the bathroom, you head back towards the kitchen, but just then he comes out of his bedroom, startling you and nearly bumping into you.

“Oh!” You shout as you jump backwards, laughing. “Sorry.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

“It’s okay.” You brush it off.

He sniffs the air, and that’s when you know you fucked up. “Did you spray my cologne?”

You bite your lip, knowing there’s no point in lying. “I did.” He looks at you questioningly, so you fill in the gaps. “It just smells really good. I’m sorry.”

Professor Yang just watches you, and you’re fully aware of what a terrible idea it was to spray his cologne. And also what a terrible idea it was for you to even step foot into his apartment, let alone get in a car with him.

The rapid beating of your heart tells you that you’re still not over him. You don’t want to be over him.

What are you doing here? Why did you let yourself get to this point?

You need to leave. You need to turn around and get yourself out of this mess. But for some reason, you’re completely captivated by his gaze, frozen in place and entirely unable to save yourself from the impending disaster.

It’s been far too long since he’s said anything, and you’re dying to know what’s going on in his head. “What are you thinking right now?”

Too honestly, he responds, “It’s a bad idea for me to answer that question.”

“That answer makes it so much worse. What am I supposed to assume you’re thinking when you say that?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t assume anything.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you just answer my question.”

He huffs. “I’m thinking that you shouldn’t have come here. That you’re only twenty. That I can’t trust myself to…”

“Hm?” You hum, encouraging him to finish his sentence.

“I can’t trust myself to make good choices around you.”

Your heart beats wildly in your chest. Is he struggling just as much as you? Is he feeling the same pull of temptation, knowing that you’re all alone in his apartment, literally steps away from his bedroom? You have to be careful about what you say. “You’ve been doing a great job so far.”

“Why are you here?”

It’s obvious that he’s questioning your intentions, just like he did the first time he realized you were in his class. “I swear I just came to help with your instruments. I’m not trying to be sneaky.”

“Right.” Professor Yang’s lips press into a tight line, and you’re dying to know what’s going on inside his head.

It feels like he’s faltering. Like he’s holding your gaze for too long, keeping you in this apartment longer than you should be. You can’t help but feel responsible for getting yourself out of this before you both make a mistake.

But… part of you doesn’t want to stop this moment, doesn’t want to break free from whatever trap you’re falling into.

“I don’t know what to do.” You don’t think carefully enough about your words. “It feels like… we’re already keeping a secret. One more won’t make a difference.”

“You know damn well that the secret isn’t the issue. You’re my student. That’s the issue. It’s morally wrong.” Even as he speaks, you can feel that he doesn’t totally stand behind his words. Like he’s trying to convince himself that it would be wrong to act on whatever he’s feeling right now.

You remember everything Yanan told you about how Professor Yang has always had a rock-solid stance against teacher-student relations… But it seems like he could be questioning his own morality. If he really wants to shut this down, he could just break out of this moment and head for the car, drive you home and forget this even happened.

But he doesn’t.

It’s painfully silent between you - no one wants to make a move, no one wants to withdraw. You're desperate to just talk about all of this, but you're terrified of what could happen if you speak. You’re just stuck in this awkward limbo of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

You want so badly to reach out to him. To pull him close and feel him. You wonder what he’d be like as a lover now that you’re no longer strangers. It would be so easy for you to find out…

You take one small step towards him as a small sign that you’re open and willing, academia be damned. Professor Yang’s lips part ever so slightly as he scans your face, but he doesn’t back away.

Suddenly, there’s a noise in the kitchen, and you jump away from Professor Yang as if you’ve been caught - but it’s just his cat spilling its food all over the kitchen floor.

Still, that cut in the tension is enough to pull you out of the moment and help you clear your head. This is bad, and you need to leave. You refuse to look at him as you mutter, “I need to go.”

The second you try to pass him to hurry down the stairs, he turns and reaches out, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you in your tracks. The heat of his hand sears your skin.

“What are you-”

Before you can finish your question, Professor Yang pulls you into him, wraps an arm tightly around you, and presses one long, powerful kiss to your lips.

Your whole body lights up from head to toe. It’s an adrenaline rush like no other, a hit of the drug you were hopelessly addicted to that one summer night. This is exactly what you’ve been craving - his strong arms and soft lips remind you just how badly you’ve wanted his touch.

When he breaks the kiss, he presses his forehead to yours, breathing shakily. “Why can’t I get you out of my head?” And in that moment, it’s shockingly clear to you that he’s struggling with all of this just as much as you are.

God, you’re so done for. This man completely owns your heart. Without a doubt, you’re a complete and total sucker for him. And it’s frighteningly easy for you to own up to that, as you say the most dangerous thing you could possibly say: “You don’t have to, Hongseok.”

His jaw visibly clenches when you say his name, and his voice is strained when he finally speaks. “Tell me again that you need to leave. Tell me to drive you home right now.”

“If I don’t?” You challenge.

“Then there’s no reason why I shouldn’t keep you here.” Hongseok swallows thickly. “So tell me I should take you home.”

Your pulse is through the roof as he pulls back and your eyes lock, and you know that you’re way too impulsive to do as he asks. You’ve been pining after this man for months, and here he is, kissing you and practically admitting that he feels the same way. You can’t just go home now.

“I don’t want to go home.” You grab onto the hem of his sweater and tilt your chin upwards, inviting him to kiss you again. “I only want you.”

This feels nothing like the night you met him, when he was playful and sure of himself. It’s like you can sense all of the weight he’s carried with him over the last few months. His eyes scan over your face, and you get to see the slightest smile on his lips before he finally leans in to close the gap.

Just like that, you get everything you’ve wanted from him. Hongseok’s lips are just as plush as you remember and you completely melt into the kiss, and his rough hands cup your face. You feverishly return each kiss, grabbing fistfuls of his sweater and pulling him towards you. Your nose bumps the rim of his glasses, but you don’t mind it one bit.

Hongseok kisses you like his life depends on it. He yanks your jacket off of your shoulders, tossing it onto the ground as he backs you into his bedroom. Every time he cups your cheek or grabs your waist, you feel like you could just shatter in his hands.

You’re finally getting your fix and you love it.

His passion is explosive as he kisses you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you in close. The strength and heat of him surprises you, as if your body has forgotten what it’s like to be with him. His lips are so soft and warm, and you’re swallowed whole by your insatiable lust for him.

You slip your hands under the hem of his sweater, desperate to feel his skin. You can feel every defined muscle as you drag your fingers across his back, and you moan quietly against his mouth when you feel his hand reach down to squeeze your ass.

Pleasure shoots through you with every small contact. His breath mingles with yours and gives you life, each kiss keeping your heart beating happily in your chest. Everything just feels so damn good.

You both stumble towards his bed, tearing at each others’ clothes until you finally get that sweater off of him and he gets you out of your top as well. The backs of your legs bump into the edge of his bed right before he pushes you back onto the comforter. You fall onto your back, and he leans over you, his mouth latching onto your neck as his hand fiddles with the button of your jeans.

You drag your fingers through his silky hair, and you feel him suck deeply on the skin at the base of your throat. It’s just strong enough to hurt a little, and you dig your nails into his back. “Oh my God,” you moan, absolutely possessed with lust as he marks you.

Hongseok yanks off your pants, and releases you so that he can unfasten his own. You prop yourself up on your elbows to watch as he unclothes himself, his round glasses still perched on the bridge of his nose. He is just breathtakingly gorgeous.

There’s so much you want to ask him - was it hard for him to see you in class? Has he been thinking of you this whole semester? But you don’t ask any of those things, because you’re terrified to draw attention to your academic relationship. Sleeping with your professor is obviously the wrong choice to make, but you honestly couldn’t give a shit about any of that right now. It’s almost thrilling for you to know that you’re doing something you shouldn’t - but if you remind Hongseok of that, there’s a chance he’s not on the same page.

Hongseok smiles at you with that drop-dead gorgeous grin he has, and you know that at least right now he’s content to have you like this, spread out on his bed and waiting for him to finish getting naked. And that’s enough for you to decide to let the whole thing go and just enjoy living in the moment. You’re not going to ruin this by worrying.

As soon as he drops his pants, he’s on you again, like he couldn’t stand another second of distance from you. Hongseok’s mouth peppers your chest with kisses as a hand snakes beneath your back to unclasp your bra. He frees you from the garment, and his mouth eagerly wraps around one of your nipples, tonguing it and sucking gently.

“Bite it,” you plead, and he very willingly does as you ask. His teeth pinch your nipple, and you nearly cry out because it feels so good.

The last time you and Hongseok hooked up, you might have taken all the time in the world to get to explore each other’s bodies, but you could tell tonight would not be that way. You’ve both waited long enough for this dam to break and you need him so desperately.

You tug on his hair and he roughly palms you through your underwear, rushed and eager. After just a few moments he pushes your panties to the side and runs his fingers across your slickness. You’re so wet for him already.

He aggressively plunges one finger inside of you, practically shuddering at the way you moan when he does. He pumps a few times before slipping in another finger.

Then he pulls away from you. “Don’t move.” He goes over to his closet, and pulls down a box of condoms from the shelf. You smile, and then become quickly distracted as he pulls off his boxer briefs, his hard cock grabbing your attention.

He rolls on the condom and yanks you to the edge of the bed, slipping off your panties before bringing your legs to rest on his shoulders. He lines up the head of his cock with your pussy and presses inside of you, covering your legs with kisses and bites as his hips buck into yours.

It’s absolutely incredible and you’re so full with every thrust. His hips snap wildly into you and you moan, loving every second of this. Pure pleasure shoots through you, and then you fucking open your eyes.

It’s easy for you to just screw your eyes shut when you’re having sex, because closing your eyes lets you focus more on the pleasure that you feel. But when you look up to see Hongseok staring down at you with those sharp eyes of his, his rough fingers digging into your thighs, his abdominal muscles flexing every time his cock disappears inside of you… how could you not allow yourself to watch?

“You’re so fucking hot, oh my God…” The words come out against your will, but the deadly smirk on his lips makes you not regret it.

“I know.”

Cue the eyeroll. “And still a cocky little shit.”

“I might be.” Hongseok pulls your legs down so that they fall to either side of his waist, and he leans down over you, his lips brushing your ear. It’s clear that he’s not affected by the insult, and judging by the way the pace of this thrusting increases, you can only assume that he’s trying to prove his worth.

His forearms scoop under your upper back and his hands cradle your head as he fucks you, his kisses overwhelming your senses. You slip a hand between your bodies to rub your clit, and you moan against his mouth.

Pleasure burns through your body, your heart racing with each kiss, each thrust. The only thought in your head is the repeated chant of more, more, more, I need more. His cock slides deliciously in and out of you, completely covered in your wetness, but it isn't enough. Your fingers tirelessly press circles into your clit, but it isn't enough. You need more.

"Hongseok…" You mewl his name when he finally comes up for air.

His eyelids hang heavily as he hovers over you. "_____…"

Fuck, he's so beautiful. It steals your breath away to see him looking at you like this, breathing hard as he pounds into you. His gaze is possessive, like he's finally claimed you, and you honestly wouldn't mind calling yourself his. But that's neither here nor there.

You forcefully clench around him, squeezing his cock with all you've got. He certainly notices - he hisses as his eyes pinch shut at the feeling of you so tightly wrapped around his cock. His deep groan sends a shiver down your spine.

Hongseok’s voice is low as he says, “Christ, you feel so good.”

You don’t know what to say, or if you should even say anything. Hongseok’s expression is so serious as he locks eyes with you, like he’s genuinely lost in your gaze. It’s intimidating, yet it makes your heart race in the most incredible way.

You reach up to run your fingers through his hair, noting how easily the soft strands slip between your fingers and how his whole face softens at the touch. Hongseok’s eyes close as he leans into your hand, enjoying the gentle intimacy.

He slows the pace of his thrusting until he’s languidly rolling into you, his arm muscles bulging beneath you as he holds himself up. You move your hand to cup his face, and he presses a kiss to your palm, never breaking eye contact.

Fuck. You remember exactly why it was so easy to pretend like you were in love that first night.

Your fingers trace over his cheekbone, his jaw, his lips, remembering the excitement of exploring him for the first time. This time feels so different - it’s a weird combination of a dangerous thrill and caution. It’s impossible to remove from your mind the fact that you really shouldn’t be doing this - you’re too overwhelmed by wanting him to pay much attention to the rules of reality.

But you see it on his face, too. The trepidation, the hesitation, and the incredible amount of desire that overrides everything else.

As if Hongseok can tell that you’re beginning to overthink, he presses another kiss to your hand and gives you an easy smile. Softly, he murmurs, “It’s just you and me tonight.”

Aaaannnnddddd suddenly you’ve melted into a complete puddle.

“Just you and me,” you echo.

Hongseok lowers himself, meeting your lips with another passionate kiss. You grab hold of his hair and return each kiss, moaning quietly as he picks up his pace ever so slightly. His tongue slides between your lips as your hand returns to your clit, electric pleasure pulsing through you once more.

You are absolutely content to stay here all night, trapped in his embrace with his cock thrusting deep inside of you with every movement. You don’t want a single centimeter of space between you and him.

When you’re both breathing too hard to kiss properly, his mouth travels down to your neck, pressing sloppy kisses along your throat. Every swipe of his tongue draws a quiet cry from you, and you clench your muscles around his cock to return the pleasurable favor.

You hear a deep moan from him, confirmation that you’re making him feel good, too. It’s like music to your ears; all you want is for him to feel good.

Instead of continuing to touch yourself, you use both hands to scrape the short tips of your fingernails down his back to elicit more sounds from him. And then you cup his ass and encourage him to press harder, deeper. And you keep clenching.

“Jesus Christ,” Hongseok mutters. He’s unraveling in your hands. You can feel it.

“What is it, Hongseok?” You play dumb, letting out a sweet moan just a moment after posing your question.

“You keep squeezing me…” Hongseok’s breath is shaky, and part of you loves seeing him so affected by you. “It feels so good, fuck.”

Digging your fingernails into his ass cheeks, you ask, “Do you want to cum?”

You clench around him again right as he’s about to answer. “Aaahhh… fuck, oh my God.” He looks up at you with the slightest smile on his face. “What are you doing to me?”

“Making sure you feel good.” You smile coyly at him. “Is it working?”

“Yes. Fuck.” Hongseok lets out a short laugh.

Boldly, you ask, “Why don’t you cum for me then? Let me see you cum...”

“Is that what you want?”

“Mhm.” You nod, smiling.

Hongseok lowers his lips to your ear. “Alright, sweetheart.”

The nickname shocks your core - you don’t know why you’re such a sucker for it. You’re inclined to believe that just about anyone could call you sweetheart and immediately have you begging to be fucked.

What strikes you, though, is the slight difference you sense between hearing the nickname from Yanan versus Hongseok. When Yanan called you sweetheart, it felt sleazy, like he knew what kind of power it would hold and he wasn’t afraid to use it. That was hot in its own right. But when Hongseok calls you sweetheart, it feels strangely gentle and warm. Maybe it’s because of the way he holds you as he says it, the way his breath sweetly breezes past your ear. There’s something undeniably lovely about Hongseok, especially when he’s got you in his bed.

You press your lips to his temple, small moans coming from you as he keeps thrusting. The stretch of his cock feels absolutely amazing, and you’re completely captivated by every sensation - the rolling of his hips, the grip of his hand in your hair, the scent of his sweat mixing with his cologne.

With another clench of your pussy around his cock, you sense him hold back a moan, like he’s trying to hide just how easy it is for you to elicit a response from him. But at this point, you can’t be fooled. He’s so enamored by you that he couldn’t even let you reach the front door. And that fact is absolutely going to go to your head.

Hongseok loses himself in you, thrusting into you and biting your neck, sucking your skin harshly and drawing a pleasured cry from you. It feels like he wants to absolutely devour you. If you could give him any more of yourself, you absolutely would.

His breathing becomes ragged and you know that means he’s close. You card your fingers through his hair and whisper his name, and Hongseok lifts his head up to gaze down at you. His eyelids are heavy with lust, his lips parted from breathing hard.

“_____…” Hongseok murmurs your name, his eyes pinching shut. Your eyes just skim over his face, taking in his gorgeous expression. His hips snap into you a few more times until he empties into the condom, and it’s just as incredible to watch as you remember.

Hongseok almost immediately dives in for another kiss as soon as he finishes. You eagerly reciprocate, still in need of your own release. His lips are devastatingly soft and you don’t think you’ll ever get over it.

Without leaving your lips, he lifts himself off of you, allowing his hand to roam over your curves. You feel terribly empty when he pulls out, but his cock is quickly replaced by his fingers. You groan against his mouth as his fingers gently pump in and out of you, his thumb pressing circles into your clit.

Finally, he releases your lips, and without a word he repositions himself on the bed so that he’s kneeling between your legs, pressing fervent kisses to your thighs. The teasing doesn’t last long, though - surely he can sense how desperate you are for more.

His mouth quickly moves to your pussy, gently kissing and licking your folds while his fingers continue gliding in and out. And then he finally reaches your clit, and your whole body warms with pleasure.

Hongseok’s tongue is wet and hot as it works your clit, and he looks so fucking hot between your legs like this. You’re absolutely drowning in pleasure and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

You don’t dare to hold yourself back, moaning freely to let him know just how amazing he is at going down on you. With each suck, each flick of his tongue, you become more unraveled, the tension in your belly growing astoundingly fast.

You curse under your breath, wishing you could just enjoy this forever. Hongseok’s hand roughly grips your thigh, calloused fingers digging into your soft skin. His mouth sends waves of pleasure through your body. And on top of it all, your heart pounds rapidly in your chest, making you believe there’s a chance this could possibly be something special.

Hongseok’s fingers pulse in time with his tongue, and before you know it the coil snaps. Your entire body tightens and releases as your orgasm crashes over you, powerful warmth racing through your veins. Wave after wave hits you, and Hongseok presses a flat tongue against your clit as you ride it out, and the walls of your pussy rhythmically squeeze his fingers.

It seems like a solid minute of pure bliss before the feeling eventually fades. Hongseok retracts his fingers and lips, and he takes a moment to tie off the condom and toss it into the trash can next to his dresser. And then Hongseok joins you on the bed, wrapping you in his strong arms as sleep tugs at your eyelids.

You wake up unbearably hot, and it doesn’t take you long to realize why. You’re completely pressed up against Hongseok’s naked body, and that man is a radiator.

You smile at his sleeping face for only a moment before you start to fill with dread.

You hadn’t meant to spend the night, but you did.

You hadn’t meant to sleep with your professor, but you did.

It was an accident the first time. This time is completely inexcusable.

What were you thinking? How could you have let any of this happen? You’re fully aware of the consequences and yet you slept with him anyway. And you spent the night.

You peel yourself off of him. He seems to be a heavy sleeper and he doesn’t notice the movement, thank God. You hurry out of the bedroom, pulling on your clothes as you find them on the floor until you’re dressed enough to head out. And right as you reach the stairs, you hear him.

“_____?”

You pause. Of course you couldn’t just slip out unnoticed.

But you have to leave. You don’t want to talk to him about any of this right now. You’re up to your eyes in anxiety and you just need to get out. You can’t even muster up the courage to turn around and see if he’s out of bed.

“I’m sorry.” It’s all you can think to say as you rush down the stairs and out the door.

The three hour train ride to get you home is too long for you to be left alone with your own thoughts. The fact that your jacket smells like Professor Yang’s cologne certainly doesn’t help. You replay last night’s events over and over in your mind, partly thrilled by the memory of sleeping with him and partly disappointed in yourself for your bad decision-making.

Last night was incredible. Spending time with Professor Yang at his showcase was actually really fun, and you have a new admiration for his talents and intelligence. Chatting with him in the car was so comfortable. And the way he fucked you…

You bury your face in your hands and lean towards the window of the train, hiding because you’re embarrassed to be having such lewd thoughts in public. You pull your turtleneck collar a little higher just to make sure the lovely hickey he left is appropriately hidden.

What are you going to do when you see him in class after break? Just pretend like nothing is going on as per usual, you assume.

And what does this mean for everything with Kino? You’re supposed to be spending this short vacation thinking about what kind of future you want with him, not figuring out whether you regret an undoubtedly terrible choice you just made.

And Wooseok… you haven’t even addressed the fact that you were supposed to be at his place last night instead of Professor Yang’s. He hasn’t reached out to you either, so you assume that he was too drunk to remember your plans.

You’re going to have to dump all of this on Minseo as soon as you see her at the train station, since she’s the only one in the world who knows what happened between you and Professor Yang this summer. And honestly, you’re not sure if she’s going to be thrilled or pissed by what you’ve done.

You spend most of the train ride trying to distract yourself with music and a book, and by the time you arrive you actually start to feel excited about seeing Minseo. You tuck your book back into your backpack, grab your suitcase from the front of the train car, and step off of the train. The platform is full of other disembarking passengers, and you assume she must be waiting inside the station’s lobby.

You pull out your phone as you roll your suitcase towards the lobby, and you’re surprised to see that she hasn’t responded to your text confirming what time she needed to be here to pick you up. That’s not necessarily a bad sign, but it’s not promising. You decide to try calling her, but she doesn’t answer.

“I swear to God, if you forgot about me…” You seethe an empty threat at your phone as you hang up.

And then you hear your name called over the rumbling of your suitcase next to you. It’s a voice that you never in a million years expected to find here at this train station.

Your eyes dart around the room until you finally locate him, your heart completely stopping and your stomach dropping to the floor.

He’s actually here. Right in front of you.

Your brother is here.

“Jinho?”

POST SCRIPT | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 10, and let me know if you want to be tagged when I post it!

UPDATE | Read Part 10 here!

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angelic-jeonghan1004 · 5 years ago

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我爱你 || Kino College! au

Request: Hey can I request a fic of Kino and y/n,,, where kino is so jealous of his s/o being super close to Yan An bc she's taking chinese language minor in college and she needed help with her study~ I hope this makes sense to you haha😅 BTW I love your Yan An's fic! It's so cute and I miss that baobei alot😢💜

~ Of course you can bb :) I was super excited to write this request that I even paused my other ones to get a start at it since I really enjoyed the idea, I personally have been learning Chinese (Mandarin, but not as a college course) so I thought this idea was actually super cute!! I'm glad you like my Yanan fic that means so much to me, I hope you enjoy💓

Synposis: you and Kino had been going out for a while, you decided to minor Chinese language as one of your classes, leading for your friendship with Yanan to ensue but causing Kinos jealousy to rise with it.

Pairing: Kino x Reader college! Au

Warnings: a hint of angst but fluff

Gif credits to owner ✨

Your relationship with Kino has always been absolutely amazing, he treats you like royalty. No one has ever made you happier than he does, being college students isn't the easiest but you make by being able to be there for eachother. Your friend group is the same and so it makes life so much easier. You decided to minor in the Chinese language since it fascinated you and a gorgeous language. Kino would usually be fine with something like that, infact he'd encourage you, but you've put less time hanging out with him and replaced it with Yanan. He hated being jealous especially because of Yanan since that's one of his friends, it's not that he doesn't trust you it's that he doesn't like that he can't be spending the time he wants with you, especially during days like this.

"hey baby you got any plans later?" Kino said kissing your forehead

"yeah sorry love, Yanan is helping me study for my test that's tomorrow, I've been quizzed and talked with him many times about it so I know I'll do well but a extra practice is never bad." You said with a big smile on your face laughing a little at the end, Kino clutched his fist and quickly eased himself since he couldn't believe he was actually jealous of one of his bestfriends but he's too scared to say anything about it. He tried to not focus on it at all but struggles a lot when he could be seeing you but Yanan is instead. Kino went to the study hall and not surprising Yana was there, neither of you noticed him and he didn't plan on saying anything until he heard your conversation.

“我爱你(I love you)” Yanan said looking up at you, Kino didn't know a lot of Chinese but he knew enough to know what that meant and his heart started to break a little.

“我也爱你(I love you too)” you said smiling, in that moment Kino thought he was gonna cry, he trusted you both so much he didn't know what to feel anger or sadness. Kino decided to be both mad and sad, in a fit of emotion he stormed up to you both.

"Was I joke? What is this supposed to mean. I tried my best to not be jealous but you love him? After all I've done I didn't think you'd ever hurt me this much" he said tears welling up his eyes. Your heart shattered, you knew you didn't do anything since you where going back in forth with Yanan on different sentences that he had flashcards off but you'd never want to hurt Kino like that ever.

"Kino you are the only guy or person I love romantically, my love please look at what Yanan is holding." Kino looked down to his left and saw Yanan sitting with flash cards in his hands with eyes full of guilt for making one of his closest friends hurt in that way. Kinos cheeks got red after he recognizes the situation and embarrassment and regret covered his face.

"oh my God I'm so sorry." Kino said as he quickly got his bag and left to the front to get some air since he could not handle the fool he had made of himself.

You came out quick since in no way where you gonna let your man mope over his embarrassment. You saw him standing at the front of the student hall, back facing you with his head down, you walked up and hugged in him from behind.

"baby I'd never cheat on you" you said, he smiled and urned around so he could hug you back.

"I knew you wouldn't, I just got jealous you always where with him and not me, I didn't take it as your gonna cheat, just sad you didn't have time for me." He said squeezing you.

"I'm so sorry, baby I didn't ever mean to not have time for you, if you're still willing want to come back to my dorm? We could watch a movie and I can make food, I just have to tell Yanan that this meeting would be cute short." You said looking up at him leaning in to kiss him, he gladly obliged. The kiss was nice and sweet and once it ended you went into the study hall to grab your stuff and to tell Yanan everything was fine and that theyre going to cut this meeting short which he agreed to easily. Kino came in soon after and helped you both pack up, once you where ready to go he took your hand in his and with his free hand waved bye to Yanan. Kino took you back to your place, once you arrived home you both entered the house and locked the door, you turned around to face him as he made sure to lock the door and smiled.

"hey, hey, Kinooo" you said walking up to him kiss him on the cheek as he faced you, you giggled afterwards and smiled.

"我爱你(I love you)" you said laughing more, he rolled his eyes but gladly wrapped his arms around you.

"我也爱你(I love you too)" he said back as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

#kpop #pentagon #pentagon imagines #pentagon x reader #kino x reader #pentagon hyunggu #hyunggu #pentagon jinho #pentagon hui #pentagon shinwon #pentagon hongseok #pentagon yanan #pentagon yeo one #pentagon yeo changgu #pentagon kino #pentagon Wooseok #pentagon yuto

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markftmingi · 5 years ago

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BAD GUY MASTERLIST

“I'm that bad type

Make your mama sad type

Make your girlfriend mad tight

Might seduce your dad type

I'm the bad guy, duh.”

SUMMARY: when yanan, the college’s golden boy, gets offered the task of tutoring the college’s resident badass, y/n, he gets more than what he expected.

GENRE: fluff, angst, smut, a little bit of everything

AU: pentagon college au

PAIRING: innocent!yanan x badgirl!reader

WARNINGS: overall, swearing and suggestive themes but more warnings will be placed on each part.

COMPLETED ON: 9/9/2019

PARTS: profiles, pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10, pt.11, pt.12, pt.13, pt.14, pt.15, pt.16, pt.17(m), pt.18, pt.19, pt.20(final).

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kweebtrash · 6 years ago

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When I Was In Love (M)

Sexual Liberation Ch 14-Everyone Focused

Pairings: Hui/Kino/Hongseok/E’Dawn x Reader/OC

Genre: College AU, Smut, Angst

Summary: College is about experimentation, being free, and having no strings attached fun. Hui, Kino, And E’Dawn have messed around with their best friend ever since last spring. Now that summer is over and they’re back in America, their sexual antics have intensified especially when everyone starts catching feels. Throw Hongseok into the mix and it creates a swirling mess of emotions and an ultimate decision that might hurt everyone.

Warning: a lot of angst, multiple POV’s

Features: there’s some small sexual details but not any full scenes.

Word Count: <10k

A/N: Hey guys and thanks for reading all the way to the end of S.L. Thank you for being patient with the extended delay between Ch 13 and this one. I’m still in the process of writing more Pentagon stories, it’s just taking me longer because lmao I have 50 million ideas and never am able to finish them. I appreciate all the feedback for the story and am still in the process of getting all the chapters updated. This one is written a bit differently and I hoped that it would give more insight on everyone’s relationship with the MC. One more little thing...don’t hate me ok? See you at the end of the chapter!

Teenage Heartbreak Queen-Kino

I sighed and ran a hand over my face as I surveyed my almost barren room. Spring semester was officially over and i had to stuff my entire life into a luggage and head back to Korea for the summer. My last few days in America had been spent cramming for finals and packing and I longed for more sleep. My body was starting to give out on me. I was hardly looking forward to the almost 17 hour flight back. I stepped out of my room, hauling out a bag of trash to the hallway. Beside me were the empty rooms of my hyungs, already long gone and living their lives back home. Their nonexistent presence made the dorm eerily quiet and left me too much in my head. There were thoughts bubbling up that I didn’t have enough energy to exert on right now but they still weighed on my shoulders. I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask Hui-hyung or Hyo-hyung if they had said goodbye to her.

We had been around her almost the entire semester like we were all attached to one another and clinging to some semblance of fun, pleasure, and the most nauseating and scary feeling of possibly love. Nights on end were spent with us occupying each others beds. I had given up my virginity to her in a whirlwind of anger and frustration. I would never forget the way she looked pressed against the mirrors of the dance practice room; her breath and heated body creating foggy imprints as I pushed into her from behind. I had been confident at first but as soon as she was naked in front of me I choked. Every nerve in my body seemed to have tensed and I almost chickened out. But the way she clutched at me, begged me to keep going, it spurred me further until we collapsed on the floor with a layer of stickiness between us.

We were fuck buddies; in fact she had made it abundantly clear that we were only fuck buddies. I wasn’t any more important than Hui- hyung or Hyojong-hyung. Our first night together was just an experience she could add onto her list while I was still forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that she slept with other people. I had given in to her persuasion of threesomes, especially when we had all found out that we had been fucking her, but lately a nagging voice in the back of my mind had been stirring up feelings of jealousy and minute possessiveness. I didn’t want to start thinking about the pathetic, romantic, and scary things that I had never experienced before. I repressed it more each time they threatened to rip through the surface. I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t slowly falling in love with her and that as soon as I ran away to Korea everything would be fixed.

I, myself, didn’t want to say goodbye to her even though that was the right thing to do. It would possibly give me some closure instead of giving into my cowardice and also given the uncertainty of our future together. I was still working to see if I could continue studying abroad and if i succeeded there was no guarantee that I would have classes again with her, even though we were both dance majors. I was still afraid though, always afraid of everything with her. I tiptoed around that fine line of love and friendship too often to my liking. Just one look into her eyes now would send me to my knees in a fit of desperation and longing. I shook my head to try and clear the quarreling thoughts from my mind and instead go back to making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I stretched my arms above my head and yawned before peeling off the miniature calendar I had above my desk. I threw the angry reminder of deadlines and stress into another trash bag, ready to toss it into the hallway next.

I was rechecking my desk drawers to see if I had emptied them out for sure when there was a rushed pounding at the front door. I was confused as to who the hell it would be. It was almost midnight and I would have to leave for my red eye flight around 4:30. I didn’t have time to deal with anyone. I grumbled and stalked over to the door, swinging it open and ready to yell at whoever was going to make me late.

My mouth snapped shut as soon as I saw her. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. Her chest was heaving as she tried to regain her breath and she looked at me as if i was a beacon of hope in her world. She held me tight, burying her face in my chest and clutching at my shirt. I barely had time to formulate a response. My body reacted instinctively, wrapping my arms around her. I knew that I didn’t want to let her go. I could infer that perhaps she was crying over the hyungs leaving. Maybe they had talked with her and she still wasn’t okay with it or maybe it was something entirely different. I swallowed down my sigh, irritated that my plan to avoid her had gone awry. I had to face my demons now which was a battle I hadn’t prepared for.

“Th-they left.” She said through soft hiccups. “They didn’t even say goodbye. Why would they do that? I thought-” Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to steady her voice. “I thought we were friends. They should’ve at least told me when they were leaving!”

So they hadn’t told her at all.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with her sweater sleeve and continued. “I just...we spent all this time together. I thought it was the least that they could do.” She looked up at me finally and I knew what she was going to ask before it even left her lips. My hold spread to her shoulders, clutching tightly to brace myself for my impending lie. “Were you even going to tell me when you left?”

“Of course,” It came out much smoother than I had anticipated. “But there was just so much going on with finals and packing up that I almost didn’t have time. I leave in a few hours. My flight’s at 6 but I have to leave around 4:30 or so.”

“Oh great. Just great.” She fiddled with a stray thread on her sleeve, averting her gaze. “Nevermind then. I’ll leave you to your packing.”

I pushed my hair back and exhaled. “It’s not like that ok? Sometimes saying goodbye is harder than we think. Sometimes it just feels easier to not do it at all. We care about you...maybe a little too much.” I mumbled at the end.

“It certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’m sorry that they didn’t let you know, hell I didn’t even know when they were leaving until they walked out the door.” I wanted to invite her inside. It felt just wrong to leave her out here to wallow and stay caught up in emotions that were obviously paining her. I nodded towards the inside of the dorm, bringing her in and shutting the door softly behind us.

“Kino...i really am gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss all of you. Well I already do but you know what I mean.”

“You mean you’re gonna miss our dicks.” I nudged her, trying to lighten the mood just a bit. She cracked a little smile finally and hit my stomach playfully.

“Not just that, jerk! We had a lot of good times together. I mean I’m even missing Wooseok and Shinwon, Yuto, Yanan, Yeo Onnie, Jinho-everyone! I know i’m heading back home soon too but home doesn’t feel like home without my friends. Sorry,” she sniffed. “I’m being lame.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You’re seriously not. I…” My heart felt heavy again. “I’m gonna miss you too.” That confession, that tiny little confession, was when i felt myself cross that threshold. She was no longer just my friend. She was someone I wanted, someone I thought about, someone I sang about, someone I danced with, someone I felt in the very core of my soul. She was the person I was in love with.

Her smile ignited happiness inside me like a phoenix flame that rose from the ashes of weeks of lying to myself. She wrapped her arms around me again and I kept her closer this time. I settled my arms at her lower back practically crushing her to me. And when we separated just a bit, our eyes locked. Our soft chuckles of uncertainty filled the space between us until our lips closed the distance, meeting in a rush so intense I almost felt lightheaded. Her hands trailed to my shoulders, my hair, my face, seeming like she wanted to engrave the way i felt into her skin. Step by step we moved back towards my room. I had to catch her when she tripped over my suitcase and she laughed. It was like music to my ears that could inspire me to write a book of lyrics. I kicked the suitcase out of the way and we continued our journey to my bed. Our clothes eventually got tossed aside in between kisses and sweet caresses. My body always reacted to her touch at a moments notice. Every moan she made when i laid nibbles to her neck and shoulders and the way her breath stayed in her lungs as my fingers dove between her thighs had my blood boiling.

I loved the way she felt. Her slick lips always made me hungry and though I hated going down on anyone I would do it for her. She coated my tastebuds with each trail i made with my tongue. My finger dug into her plush thighs, feeling the muscles ripple when I hit a particularly sensitive spot. When i sucked her into my mouth she created a sweet symphony that made me dig my hips into the mattress just to try and relieve some of the pressure. Her hands were back to my hair again, clawing into my scalp and wrenching locks around her fingers. That pressure sent a shiver down my spine and i dove deeper, trying to dig out the orgasm that she deserved.

She said my name as if it was her new favorite curse word, over and over again until she could barely breathe. I pulled away from her then, licking my lips and wiping her trace from my chin and nose. I kissed up her stomach, towards her breasts and neck until our lips met again and i could share her between us. “Please Kino…” She set her forehead against mine, holding me between her palms. “Please don’t leave me…”

My heart shattered. She knew that i had to. I knew that i had to. I couldn’t stay here in the summer. I had nowhere to live, no money to support myself, and permission that only lasted nine months. The truth was more painful than the goodbye at this point and the only thing that could bring us comfort was more lies. I swallowed hard and finally looked at her. Just as i sank into her depths and pulled her close I told her what I wished was the god awful truth. “I’ll never leave you.”

Moonlight-Hongseok

“That was literally the best Marvel movie! Hands down!” She said as we exited the theater.

“No way? The best? Are you sure it’s better than Hulk and your pretty boy Thor?” I laughed. We had just finished seeing Venom in our town’s local theater, weeks after it’s initial release and taking full advantage of student discount day. With the end of the semester creeping closer and piecing together everything that happened between us at Halloween, it was really nice to do something together as friends. I had to admit that I still thought about that night. I tortured myself with wondering if she thought about it too. I couldn’t believe the way I had acted then. It wasn’t like me at all and I felt ashamed more than anything. If I hadn’t drank that night I wouldn’t even have had a ounce of the courage I did to ask her to help me lose my virginity. In fact, I would’ve been a bumbling mess and messed everything up. A small part of me had worried that we would never be the same after that, that our relationship was over and could never be repaired. But when she asked me to go with her to this movie it was like a light washed over my heart and I could breathe a little easier.

I had no idea what to really call our “relationship” to be quite honest. I stuck with the term ‘friends’ but i had come to realize all too quickly that I wanted that term to morph into something better. I felt like a preteen with a crush. Every time she was near me my heart would race, my palms would get sweaty, and i overthought everything so bad that I ended up stuttering more than i meant to. I wasn’t sure if she even noticed but I did and it only made me more anxious. Even tonight, my face felt red hot with embarrassment. During the movie, she got closer to me and i wished the armrest between our chairs hadn’t existed. Then, as cliche as it sounded, our hands touched when we both dug into the popcorn bucket at the same time. She made a joke out of it, hitting the back of my hand playfully and shooing me away from her hoard. It made me smile more than anything, my whole body tingling with giddiness. God, she was so beautiful and I felt like I still wasn’t even on her radar.

We walked to her car, occasionally bumping into each other. “Yes, i like it even better than Thor, okay? Though Ragnarok was extremely good too. Venom was my favorite in Spiderman 3 even though no one likes to talk about that movie. I think he more than made up for Tobey Mcguire’s awkward dancing and emo hair.”

I laughed and shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat. “Well, you may be onto something even if I don’t agree entirely.”

“Yeah, yeah. Ironman, blah blah blah.”

“Hey!” I nudged her with my shoulder, making her stumble. “Don’t talk about him like that!”

She giggled and ran ahead of me. “Ironman couldn’t even save Spidey from the Infinity Stones.”

I gasped loudly. “You take that back! That was a very emotional time for me and you know it!”

She unlocked her car and opened the door, sliding in while I was still prepared to make an argument. I shuffled quickly to catch up and get in beside her. “You know, it’s still pretty early.”

“Yeah it is. I can start my presentation about how what you just said was completely wrong and uncalled for!” I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.

“Seokkie, you know I’m just joking.” The nickname, no matter how simple, made my stomach explode into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. I pretended to pout some more which made her laugh and tug at my coat, desperate to get on my good side again. She began poking my sides, making me squirm and swat at her annoying antics. I loved the way we could joke around. It felt like I was at home, a place of safety and protectiveness that barricaded me from the worse feelings I had. I could be myself around her, wholeheartedly. I didn’t have to keep up the facade my parents wanted me to create. I didn’t even have to think about grading papers and essays or trying to deal with my professor breathing down my neck. When i was with her I was just a normal 20-something year old college student enjoying life and taking it easy. It was the best feeling in the world to forget about the worries that constantly bombarded my mind. The freedom to talk about what made me happy with the person that made me happy was something that I held onto so dearly.

In between me struggling to keep her prodding at bay she turned to tickling me, a torture I hated more than anything. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them tight, turning towards her and accidentally knocking our heads together. We reeled back, rubbing the sore spots on our foreheads as the result of my stupidity. “Crap, sorry!” I said.

She winced and rubbed at the pain faster. “Way to give me a concussion with that hard ass head of yours!”

“Well, if you hadn’t been tickling me we wouldn’t have this problem, huh?!” I looked up at her, noticing how we were now face to face with the center console barely putting a barrier between us. Her eyes held my gaze for a moment before jumping up to my forehead. Suddenly, she leaned in close, pressing her lips to the tender area. It only lasted micro seconds but I clung to the way her perfume wafted into my senses and the gentleness she exhibited. I opened my mouth trying to fathom any response but nothing came out. I was stunned, retreating to my feelings of a preteen boy in love.

In love...A tiny word that held so much weight to it. Could i really be in love with someone I just met not even two months ago? I had no idea what love was like but I knew what I felt was something entirely different than anything I had ever experienced. Surely, if people could believe that there was love at first sight then there was no harm in feeling the most vulnerable of connections with someone after two months. My heart thundered in my chest every time that word came up and I could feel my entire body quaking with fear of the unknown. What’s to say would happen in this car with her by my side? What did i even want to happen in this very moment? Did i want her to profess her love to me or did I want to face the possible reality of her tossing my heart into a forgotten oblivion? “What are you thinking about?” The question came out as a breath against my lips and she seemed to have gotten closer to me. Her elbow rested on the console while her fingers eased over mine.

I wanted to scream that I was thinking about her, always thinking about her, in the best ways, the worst ways, the most lustful and sinful of ways. I cleared my throat as if to remind myself to put the latter thought in a trapped box where it belonged. Instead, i came up with a generic answer that still didn’t seem to satisfy her. “Just the movie…”

“Liar.” She caught on instantly. “Something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Uh…” I had no idea how to respond without possibly hinting at my true feelings.

“We could go back to the plateau. Remember?”

“Yeah, i remember getting drunk off my ass and making a fool out of myself.”

“Well, there’s no alcohol this time so no harm, no foul right?” She set her keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life. “C’mon, if you still don’t want to talk we don’t have to but i just…” Her voice seemed to grow a bit quieter. “I don’t want this night to end just yet.”

I swallowed hard and nodded, my mind taking off into a deep swirling galaxy of thoughts. Even though I had gotten drunk that night, i gained all the courage in the world to kiss her. Alcohol seemed to be my vibranium- this sword and shield that provided me with everything I need to lead me into conquest. Yet it was also my kryptonite because I felt like without it I was weak and susceptible to making whatever it was between me and her worse. The car ride had settled into a quietness with only the soft sounds of the radio in the background. I looked out the window, watching the sidewalks of our college town filled with people bar hopping as we drove through downtown. The further away we got from the hustle and bustle the better it felt to be with her. It was like we were in our own little world when we got to the top of the plateau. The lights of the city were brighter than the last time we were here but we could still see some of the stars in the night sky. She set the car in park and cut the engine before stepping out. “C’mon, lay on the hood with me!”

I smiled and followed her lead, settling myself on the hood. I set my back against the windshield, putting my hands behind my head. She sat beside me, not letting any space between us. “It’s chilly out. This was probably a bad idea.” She chuckled.

“Yeahhh, probably. The wind is definitely brisk.” I shivered a little and felt her scuttle closer until her head rested on my chest. I stiffened completely beneath her, afraid that she could hear the way my heart was banging against my ribcage. Her arm wrapped around my waist and she left out a soft content sigh. While this seemed to be perfectly normal for her I was aching with thoughts of what it all meant. I drifted my eyes down to her watching the way she was enamored by the stars. The question I longed to ask burned on my tongue and i dared myself to ask it. “Hey...um...I wanted to ask you something…”

She turned her heads towards me and all I could do was stare at her lips. It was like she was hell bent on sucking the ability to talk out of me. “Hmm?”

“C-can I kiss you?” WHAT?! Hongseok, what in the actual hell? You were supposed to ask her about the Halloween party and what it all meant for you as friends, NOT to ask her to kiss you. I winced and closed my eyes wishing that I could disappear from this entire plane of existence. Her expression had switched as soon as the words left my mouth and now she she seemed like she was at a lost for words too. I tried my best to deflect the question. “I mean uh...that’s not what I wanted to ask. What I wanted to say was-”

I felt her sweet caress of her lips then, unexpected and powerful enough to shatter my frazzled thoughts. Her lips were utterly amazing. They brought up residual memories of how they felt the first time we kissed. I cherished every moment they shared with mine even if it only lasted a few seconds. She pulled away all too quickly, her eyes wide with fear. “I-I...i’m sorry.” She whispered.

I sat up quickly, fumbling over my own apology. “Nonono! I-I swear I didn’t mean to ask that! It just- my brain just slipped and-”

“It was on your mind though…”

I swallowed at that nugget of truth. “Y-yes. I’m so sorry.”

She set her hand on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. “It’s ok. I was thinking about it too.”

Want It With You-E’dawn

Trust. You would think it was such a simple word but it bared more meaning for me than anything else in life. I didn't trust just anyone though I seemed to be surrounded by people I loved and adored. It took years to get to that point with them. There were hoops and barrels that they had to jump through to prove themselves worthy. It wasn't some grand scheme of knighthood- rather simple things that showed they would always be there for me.

Which was why I was so stuck and dumbfounded by my feelings for her. We hadn't known each other for long. Definitely not long enough for me to trust her but i did with every fiber of my being. I didn't know if it had been from the first night we met or right here at this very moment but at some point my heart caved in. Her smile chipped at the bricks of my wall of trust, her body tore chunks out of the barrier, and our connection musically made the wall give way. Behind that trust was love, an even more guarded feeling that rarely anyone got to experience. But the buds of soft touches, gentle kisses, and late night talks bloomed into the purest emotion I ever had.

The problem was that there was already two other people that had my heart. My girlfriend, Hyuna, who remained a secret to everyone I knew, and my best friend Hui who I felt like i could possibly never confess to. I didn't know how to exactly explain it but each of them provided me with something i needed and wanted. Hyuna gave me the care I never experienced from anyone- the tender love, affection, and understanding of my weirdness that she could keep up with. Hui on the other hand gave me a new type of love. Something that was exciting and refreshing yet filled with curiosity and the thrill of danger. And she, she gave me freedom. Freedom to explore, to live, to experience things i had never done before and open my eyes to wonders unseen.

My brain and heart were at war with one another. My brain told myself that it was impossible to be with three people no matter how desperately i wanted it to work. My heart, of course, screamed that I could do anything. No one could judge us or tell us otherwise. I wished that were true, i really did. There were nights when I couldn't sleep that i lay awake and thought about what my life had turned into. Being in the states changed my perception on love and relationships in general but going back home none of those things would be accepted. I didn't want to hide forever- i already had to do that with Hyuna. Her career was on the line and I would never compromise that for her. With out her here though it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay monogamous, which is how that night after the party happened.

I told Hyuna right away that i slept with someone else. I was a crying mess. I thought she'd never forgive me and i would truly be alone. I confessed how much i missed her and that i just wanted to feel something- a touch, a kiss, anything. It was hard. One of the very hardest things I'd ever had to do and when she forgave me and told me it was alright I knew i had chosen the right one. We laughed about it after and she told me never to worry. She knew my heart was with her because she could feel it even with all the miles that separated us. She let me sleep with whoever I wanted as long as I came back to her, which i would always do.

But when i met my new object of affection at the top of spring semester it was like my world got flipped upside down. How could I tell Hyuna that I was in love with someone else, let alone confess to the person that I had been with almost the entire time this semester? Love and trust weren't the only things weighing on my mind. Part of that trust was asking for further exploration of my sexuality. I was all wrapped up in my feelings and this just added another layer.

Lately, i had been curious about kinky things. It wasn't just the beginner things either. It was the darker things, the dirtier things, the things that made your skin crawl with lust filled excitement. I wanted to share that with her but bringing it up had my heart racing.

I laid next to her, my feet towards the end of the bed while hers were towards the headboard. Our heads met in the middle and we stared at the ceiling relaxing in our sexual afterglow. I puffed silently at my e-cig, closing my eyes and pondered over how to even begin to ask what was weighing on my mind. She yawned beside me and i nudged my temple gently against hers.

“You whimping out on me already?” I teased.

“Um, excuse me. You wore me out! You try being on your hands and knees for an hour then practically bent in half. It takes a lot out of you.”

I chuckled. “Yeah well, it was good wasn’t it?”

She nodded and softly hummed a response, turning her head into my neck. We stood quiet for a moment while i continued to mull over how I should ask her. From what she told me about her experiences with Kino and Hui-hyung there was nothing that even came close to what I currently wanted. We were both inexperienced but I was sure that we could learn and be patient with one another. She could reject the idea all together, which would sting a bit but I would accept it. I couldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to. I hoped she would at least try and not run away completely.

“Hey,” I began, clearing my throat a little. She turned towards me with such an adorable sleepy look. It made me smile as I pushed her sweaty hair away from her forehead. “I want to ask you something but...don’t freak out okay?”

Her eyes went wide and fear washed over her face. She swallowed hard. “O-oh...what is it?”

“So...ok. Um…” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know if this is going to sound stupid but have you ever heard of...bdsm? Like the kinky stuff?”

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows now faced with curiosity. “You mean like getting tied up?”

“Yeah. I mean, there’s more to it but that’s like a good place to start.”

“Why are you bringing it up all of a sudden?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.” I sighed, returning my gaze back to the ceiling as I felt warmth creep into my cheeks and ears. “Kinda researching a bit. Since we’re- I mean we’re not together, together- but we hook up a lot and stuff. And we’re friends so I thought maybe I could ask and…” I was stumbling over my words, regressing into a bumbling idiot. I wish i could convey what was on my mind as clearly as I wanted to. I took a deep breath, trying to recollect myself and start over. “Basically, I trust you. I trust you a lot and I wouldn’t ask anyone else to do this with me. It was important that I tried it with you. When we...fuck it’s on a whole other level. I feel kind of like...at peace. Like I don’t have to worry about anything or feed into my insecurities.”

“O-oh…” she said quietly. I wasn't sure what to make of that and it made my entire body tense. “I trust you too Hyojong. You've never done anything to betray my trust. But this is so sudden.”

“I know, i'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to bring it up or what would be a good time to even bring it up. Like how do you start a conversation about wanting to try bdsm? Like hey, babe, wanna tie me up and choke me?”

She laughed, part nervous and part humorous. “I guess you're right. It's not something to schedule a talk around. But why do you feel insecure?” She sat up a bit, just scooting close enough to lay her head on my stomach and set her hand over my heart. I laid my fingers over hers and moved my other hand to rest behind my head.

“I...i don’t know. I mean who ever really knows why they’re insecure they just know they have insecurities.”

“You know what I mean but what things are you specifically insecure about?”

“A lot of things. The way I look, the way I have sex, the way I talk. It all makes me nervous but you’ve never really judged me…”

“Of course not! I would never. There’s no reason for me too.” She said as she turned her hand over to give mine a squeeze. “You’ve been there for me since day one and I like everything about you. You’re so weird, cute, funny, and caring. Your random screeches and crazy running makes me laugh all the time. I just feel...” She shrugged and smiled at me. I wondered if she could tell how fast my heart was beating now. When I was the source of her smile it made my entire body turn to jello. It made me feel like a goopey mess of feelings that i loved. Love was one of my favorite things in the world. The rush of being with someone so perfect for you and holding them in your arms as much as you could was the source of my happiness. Being so far away from my girlfriend always put me in a funk. But having this new found love in the states filled that void and blossomed into something I looked forward to every time we met. The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with her. My heart was getting restless but asking her out was something that made me panic even more than asking her to tie me up. “I feel good when i'm around you. You're a great friend.”

Friend. I screamed internally. Yes, just friends. It stung, that was easy to admit but as of right now I couldn't do anything to change that. I squeezed her hand again and swallowed the lump in my throat trying my best not to crumble into a puddle of pathetic tears. I sought to turn the subject back to where it started. “So, would you want to try it out with me? The kink stuff I mean…”

“Wellllll…..it doesn't seem so bad. It could be a lot of fun. I'm a little scared though. What if we're totally bad at it?”

“We can practice. Isn't that part of the fun?” I gave her a little wink to add to my flirtatious tone.

“You want to wear me out, don't you, Dawnie.” She giggled. “I guess we can start practicing. But i guess we might need some equipment first.” She sat up then, crossing her legs and letting her fingers drum against her chin. “I'm sure there are tons of websites to buy some.”

“My cart on some is already filled.” I admitted.

“Oh my god, you sneaky little slut. I shouldn't have expected any less from you.” She kissed me quickly. “Start ordering then. Then i can tie you up like a little present.”

“Tie me up? Aren't I supposed to tie you up?!” I asked.

“Who says? Just because you're the boy? Why don't we both try it. Maybe we'll both like it.”

She did have a point. We didn't have to conform to any standards. That wasn't really my gig anyway. Besides, thinking about her being in control gave me a little tingle of excitement. We were truly doing this and I couldn't be more happy. Even though she thought of me as a friend I hoped eventually she could see how much I wanted her, how much love I could give her. All i could do now was be patient but have a hell of a good time along the way.

All To You- Hui

“Ok, so what do you want to do for our project?” I asked her as we sat in our private piano room that was basically our sanctuary. After almost every class together we would come here, enjoying the peace and tranquility. The hecticness of our schedules were forgotten and we spent hours getting lost in the music. Time didn't exist when I was with her. My only focus was on her which was a-okay with my heart. We had a project due in a couple of weeks that needed to showcase both our talents. I wanted to do something on the piano, more so a ballad which was my speed and wasn’t too sure how to incorporate her rapping skills. Rapping could go with a ballad but the rhythm and flow would have to be just right. I was nervous as this was the first time we would ever be making music together. The way music was instilled in me sometimes made me overanalyze and become a perfectionist. I didn’t want to really take control of this...but also I did. I just had to figure out how to do it in the nicest way possible. I was picturing every scenario possible, even wondering what she would say in response even before she uttered a word in real time.

“Well, I know rapping isn’t your thing and I’m not the best at music production since I’m still learning so i hope that maybe you could take responsibility over that? Like how we could mix the song? Maybe incorporate the piano since it’s kind of our thing?” She smiled.

I almost sighed in relief. I was so happy we were on the same page. “Yes!” I said, almost too excitedly. “Sorry, I really wanted to make something like this with you.” I started pressing a few chords onto the keys, humming along to the melody in my head. “Do you have any idea what song you might want to do?”

“I was trying to think of some good duets we could do. I really wanted something modern and kind of soft.”

“There aren’t many duets with singing and rapping that I can think of.”

“Actually,” she said with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice. “Teach has been getting on me about actually singing in class since ya know, since it is about vocals. I know she said she doesn't grade on talent but she wants me to at least try and sing... in front of everyone.”

“Sing?” I tried to hide the shock in my voice and failed miserably. “I’ve heard you before and you know how I feel about your voice but I also know that it’s hard for you to do this.” She nodded and stared down at her lap, looking so ashamed. I set my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close so my temples touched hers. “You know I’ll be there beside you every step of the way, right?”

“I know…” Her voice was breaking. “I’m just so nervous that I’m gonna make a fool of myself. I feel like everyone’s gonna judge me. I don’t get stage fright when I rap but when I sing it’s like my throat just closes up and my heart shrivels into a dried husk and like...i just can’t breathe. My anxiety takes over and-and-” A small tear trailed down her cheek and i squeezed her to my chest. I couldn’t bare to see her like this. There wasn’t a way to magically cure her anxiety or relieve her from her stage fright though I desperately wished I could. I curled my fingers around hers holding onto her hand tightly.

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I don’t want you to end up like me. All I do is drive myself crazy with being a perfectionist. We’re going to work through this together. I promise I won’t let you fail.”

“I know, Hui. I know. I just have to believe in myself but that’s easier said than done. It’s always something I battled with. I’m glad you’ll be there with me.”

I smiled and tilted her head up gently. “Of course, angel.” I pressed my lips to hers, taking in their warmth and tenderness that always made my body react instantly. I poured every ounce of passion into our tongues colliding and bringing her small unsteady breaths to the surface. My hand fell to her waist, clutching it tightly and never wanting to let her go. I needed her to know how much this meant to me, how much she meant to me. She deserved it so much. Her hands anchored themselves in my hair and kept me as close as possible. Eventually, my chest tightened and my lungs ached for a break. It was almost funny how lost we could get in each other like this. I pulled away, chuckling as i finally took in a breath. “Sorry, i got carried away.”

“I like when you get carried away.” She smiled, flirtatiously. “Isn't that how we ended up fucking on the piano during our first lesson?”

“Ah,” I remembered that day all too well. The first moment her lips hit mine after I heard her sing. Nothing could ever compare to how my heart fluttered and my stomach tied in knots just hearing her sweet tone. Since that day I had silently begged that I would hear her voice again, instead of her keeping it trapped. “It was definitely better than learning chord progressions and tonality practice that's for sure.”

She giggled and dabbed away at the few remaining tears at the corner of her eyes. “You always know how to make me smile, Hwitaek.”

My name was always my favorite melody to hear on her tongue. The airiness to her voice made it sound so dreamlike and ethereal. I could feel my cheeks heating up just at those few syllables. “I'm glad I can but uh...you should stop distracting me so we can get to work!” I poked her side playfully and she swatted at my hand.

“Ok, ok! I'm sorry! Let me see what I have on my spotify playlist and maybe we can get some inspiration for our duet, yeah?”

I nodded at her suggestion and let her go to work while i fumbled on the piano, working through key changes and scales in hopes of jogging my brain. I had no idea why it seemed so difficult. It should have been a piece of cake figuring something for us to do, especially because even if it was just a school project it would be personal. Maybe that's why I was getting stuck in a rut. Too much pressure on myself to possibly slip a blinded confession to her through lyrics. There didn't seem to be any other way to tell her. I wasn't even sure if I should. There hadn't been any confirmation in the slightest that she felt anything towards me. After all, I had Hyojong and Hyunggu at my back, constantly tipping the scales in their favor. They were my very best friends and I should never be jealous of them but I was. Even after the fun we had with the foursome I realized that there was still an empty part of me that wasn't getting filled. It hurt to think that perhaps it would never be filled.

Continuing to hook up with her might be the biggest mistake of my life so far. I could sense that things might get worse. I wasn't exactly known to love subtly. I was a big hopeless romantic, comically extravagant, and a walking cliche of greeting card cheesiness. I couldn't help it. It went with my goofy personality and inability to like being so serious all the time. It was my little break away from throwing my entire soul into my music. I sighed and set my elbow on the edge of the piano, resting my chin in the palm of my hand while my fingers danced over the same three keys. Little slices of my favorite lyrics pieced together in my head as I imagined the picket white fence dreams I could have with her. I could stay here in America and live an entirely new life with her, an extra dose of happiness in my fantasy. I closed my eyes then, drifting off into that better place that was protected from thoughts of self doubt, hurt, and feelings of worthlessness and not being good enough for her. I rarely tried to give into those thoughts but there was always a devilish voice on my back whispering filthy lies about how I could never capture her attention and love like the other's could. I squeezed my eyes tighter as the voice started to ring a little louder and I was just beginning to get into a war with myself.

“I think I got it!”

I snapped back so suddenly that my body jolted upright. “Huh? What?”

“The song, i think i found the perfect song for us. I think I can manage hitting all the notes in this without messing it up too much and the male part is right up your alley.”

I raised a brow at her, curious at her selection. “Ok, lay it on me.”

“Do you like Lana Del Rey?”

My cheeks heated up with embarrassment. I did, but mostly when I was drunk off my ass and known to cry on the floor, belting out all her greatest hits. I laughed nervously at my shameful alcohol induced memories. “Y-yeah, she's great. I like her.”

“Want to do ‘Lust for Life’? You have a good voice for it.”

“Ah….actually that doesn't seem so bad. It wouldn't be so hard to work into a piano piece either. I think we could do it.” I smiled brightly at her, grateful to her ability to think more clearly than I could. She clapped her hands excitedly before looking over the lyrics on her voice. I edged myself closer so we could both look at the small screen. She was humming at first, mumbling a few words here and there until the notes rang in during the first verse. I set my hand on the small of her back, working my thumb in small swipes, to give her a comforting touch and encourage her more. She laughed a bit as she got to the pre-chorus, her eyes trailing up to meet mine.

“And I was like, take off, take off...take off all your clothes, take off, take off...take off all of your clothes…” she sang. She moved her fingers to pluck at the top button of my shirt, opening it.

I set my hand over the sliver of newly exposed skin and gasped. “So scandalous, Lana!”

She giggled. “Oh, and you don't want to fuck under the Hollywood sign while I wait for my sugar daddy to call me?”

“We'll I don't think we can fuck under the Hollywood sign but does under a piano work for you?”

“Oh yes, a whole two feet of space! You'd knock your head on it so fast!”

“Hey, i tried, ok? Besides, i can find a way to position you.”

“Lee Hwitaek! You perv!”

“You started it but I can definitely finish it.” I tackled her gently to the floor, making her cry out and laugh with me. We were always goofing off like a pair of idiots which were my absolute favorite times. I pulled her against me tight and kissed all over her neck and cheek. “You drive me crazy you know that?”

She pawed at my face. “Ah! Hey! Yeah, you definitely drive me crazy too.” She turned her head to catch one of my kisses on her lips. “It's a good kind of crazy though. She gave me another quick kiss then looked down at my watch. “Shit, i have to get going for dance practice with Kino. He's gonna kill me if I'm late.”

My happiness was cut a bit short and I held onto her tighter. “Just stay with me instead.” I whispered.

“Aww, Hui. You know I'd love to but we have a dance project and-”

“We have a project that we need to work on too. He can deal with it.”

“Noooo, i can't! I'll never hear the end of it. You know how Kino is.” She pushed me away and sat up. “We can meet up again this weekend or something. I think I’ll have some time on Saturday.” She stood up and gathered her things. “I promise I’ll give you all the time in the world ok?! See ya!”

I watched her leave our practice room, destroying the bubble of our safe haven to go hang out with my friend. I sighed as another pang of jealousy hit directly to the heart. I pulled my knees up and set my arms on them, wondering what to even make of myself. Just tell her Hui, I thought. Just tell her that you love her.

I’m a Ruin

I held my pillow close to my chest as tears flowed hot and heavy down my face. Everything that had happened with Hongseok replayed in my head as guilt riddled my stomach. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t rope him into any of this and I did just that. On top of it I revealed that I had slept with all of his friends and while there was a small sliver of me that was glad that it was all out in the open, every other part of me was screaming that it was all a mistake. I never wanted him to find out, if anything he could have been my escape from it all. Hongseok was a clean slate, after all. There wasn’t any drama attached to him and we had so much fun whenever we hung out. But he also didn’t have the history that I had with Kino, Hui, or Hyo.

Those three were a whole other battle in of itself. Kino and I’s relationship was basically shattered and nonexistent. I knew Hui was ready to take the next step but with everyone else on my mind I had no idea if I would be able to give him my all without hurting him in the process. Hyojong was one of my closest friends. We knew so much about one another and though I wasn’t really too sure about opening my heart to multiple people (which let’s face it, at this damn point I might as well to save myself a headache), but Hyuna was so welcoming. Together they were like the perfect ray of warmth and sunshine that it almost felt as if I had nowhere to fit in. My head was swimming so much with thought after thought that i almost felt dizzy. I needed to somehow get some sleep and maybe try and set them aside for at least one night. They were just consuming me to the point where it was suffocating. I just wanted to be happy again. I wanted to survive college and graduate and be a star where I could share my talents with the world and live free. I know I had dug this hole for myself but running away seemed like the best thing to do right now.

I was ready to recline into my bed and give up entirely when I heard harsh raps on my door. I jumped up quickly wondering who the hell that could be. It was already late and my roommate wasn’t home. I sighed and thought that maybe she may have forgotten her keycard. It was unlikely but stranger things have happened. I wiped my face as much as I could, trying to gather myself before I opened the door. I sniffed deeply and pulled the door open, wincing as the bright light of the hallway poured into my dark room. My heart fell into my stomach as I saw the disheveled, pajama’d and panting messes that were before me.

“W-what...what’s going on?” I stammered while i was internally begging for this to not happen at this moment.

“We need to talk.” Kino stated flatly, he was the first to push past me and go into my room. Hyojong flicked on the light in my room and squeezed past me as well. I sighed, absolutely defeated and let the others in before making my way over to sit on my bed once more. They circled me then, like lovesick vultures corning me into a decision I was no where near ready to make. I knew what they were going to say before any words were even uttered.

“We just...we we’re talking...” Hui started.

“I needed to know about everything that happened. It was even worse then the minimal lies you told me.” Hongseok spat.

“Don’t you even dare, Hongseok. I never lied to you. I didn’t want you to know about everything because you had no business knowing about it all.” I interjected.

“I had no business knowing about what you were doing with my friends?”

“No, you didn’t. You know why? Because what I do with anyone is no ones business, even if you are friends. I gave myself to each and every one of you and I’ve said it over and over, my intent was never to break up your brotherhood or turn you on one another. I fucked up and I know that. But if I wanted to fuck Kino i did. If i wanted to fuck Hui i did. If I wanted to fuck Hyojong I did. Hell, if I wanted to fuck them all at once I did that too! I’m not going to be guilted into having urges just like you all. I love you guys, most importantly as friends. Every last one of you. It’s who I’m in love with that hurts the most.”

“Who are you in love with then?” Hyojong asked.

“Everyone.”

“You can’t be in love with everyone. That isn’t possible nor is it fair!” Kino snapped.

“It is possible. It’s always possible to love more than one person but...how we’re all thinking-even me- is that we want her to ourselves. We don’t want to share. We want to have that one on one connection.” Hyojong continued. “It just seems further and further from reality than we expected.”

“You need to chose someone. Please, love, just for the sake of my sanity.” Hui pleaded.

“Your sanity? What about my sanity?! Don’t you think I’ve been driving myself fucking insane thinking about who I would want to be with? I’ve been trying to piece together what I even want for weeks, months, semesters! I don’t know how to even begin to choose!”

“Well you better fuckin’ decide. We’re tired of being dragged along by you.” Kino said.

I whipped around to face him. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ talk to me. Why would I even pick you!? You hurt my feelings. You betrayed my trust! You slept with my best friend and just when I thought that we were on the mends you threw me out in the cold again.”

“I love you! More than anything! I’ve always loved you! I’ve just been...I’ve been too fucking afraid to admit, ok?”

“Yeah?” I swallowed hard, trying to shove my tears down my throat instead of having them burst forth once again. I was so tired of crying. “Well, it’s a little bit too late for that isn’t it Kino?”

“Look, I can’t speak for anyone’s actions but my own but...we do...we want some kind of closure. I know this is hard given your relationships with us- even with Kino. Someone is bound to get hurt by this, even I’ve prepared myself for that, but anything is better than no answer at all.” Hui set his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me gently. His face held nothing but sorrow and his brown eyes were dripping in sadness. If my heart wasn’t already shattered it definitely was now. Completely minuscule pieces that didn’t even resemble a heart anymore.

I pulled away from him as I could feel my body trembling. Their eyes were on me once more and fear made my blood run cold. They weren’t going to stop until they got a response. I looked at Kino, seeing the regret on his face and want to repair the broken relationship between us- something I never thought I would’ve ever witnessed. A simple apology weeks ago would’ve solved all this between us and yet I never felt more distant from him than at this very moment, even though there was a thin thread tethering me to him still. Hyojong stayed ever the patient one though he had underlying panic in his stiff frame. He couldn’t fully look at me but I could tell his mind was racing a mile a minute. I wish I could let him know fully that he still had a hold on me, Hyuna aside, I wanted him and his unconditional love. Hui was the one with the most hurt on his face, as if was about to cry just as much as I was. I didn’t want to hurt him. I couldn’t bear it. He meant so much to me-the absolute world to me. Then there was Hongseok, who’s eyes, even if he was mad at me at this very moment, reflected every happy moment I had with him. The way I felt in his arms never ceased to amaze me. His warmth, his gentle kiss, and sweet demeanor was everything I had ever wanted in someone. I wanted to waste hours and days laughing with him, playing video games, binge watching movies, and getting lost in that perfect smile.

I was back at square one, as if I had never left and frozen in my skin.

“Well?” Kino said.

“Who do you choose?” Hongseok asked.

“Please...” Hui begged.

“I just want you to be happy.” Hyojong whispered.

I covered my face and let the tears flow. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was lost, stuck, and ready to move forward all at once. All I had to do was take the plunge. “I....I choose... I choose H-”

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