#cold running

[runstreakerz]

I'm waiting for a good snowy run this December, but I don't mind the sunny weather so much.

[sergle]

ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE, people dropping mad mad sums of money on gfms and charities and stuff are extremely impressive but that DOES NOT MEAN that putting like $5 towards someone's fund or any good cause is any less valuable, a lot of crowdfunding is about momentum and those single digits add up super fast, you do not need to be Rolling In The Dough to make someone's day!! moving the dial at all is extremely positive!!

[egophiliac]

I've had a beast of a cold for the last few days, but I wanted to get this out before the new year! while I've sort of made my peace with my first take on Lilia's UM poster, I really wanted to do a version with the new context that chapter 6 gave us. because. c'mon.

(don't worry, Lilia can carry ALL HIS KIDS AT ONCE)

[captainswan618]

there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you. they look like they’re trying to tell you something. you can’t get away from them, nor can you get close to them. they’re just...standing there.

so your friends and loved ones try to help you by talking to them, and the person must be saying something to them, because they look at you differently now. but you have no idea what it was, all you hear is static.

you try to tell them not to listen to the person, but no matter what you do, no matter how much you plead with them, they look up at you with suspicion-hatred-fear and just run. they don’t care where they’re going, just that you’re not there. and you can’t do anything to stop it.

the more that the people in your life care about you, the worse it is, because anyone who tries to help is turned against you. so you are just gradually shut out of your own life by the people you love the most, until eventually you no longer recognize your surroundings.

there is a person standing 73 yards some distance away, watching you.

[laswells-ashtray]

One day, someone makes the mistake of mentioning Kate's wife when she's on the field and Gaz, Ghost and Soap expect her to be fine.

John knows better.

It takes John, Ghost, and Soap between them, with Gaz holding a hand over the guys mouth to stop Kate from genuinely being at risk of killing him. John actually lifts her off of the ground and walks out with her kicking and fighting to get out of his grip.

Ghost has to guard the door when he drags her out, Soap and Gaz can be heard getting a little hands-on with their interrogation. John’s grip on Kate is so tight that she'll undoubtedly bruise, but she'll forgive him when he stops her from losing her job.

"Kate- Kate, stop fucking- CALM DOWN- Think about it, it's a scare tactic. Sarah is at home with the cats, and she's fine, he wouldn't tell you about it if he wasn't going to touch her. She's alright."

"You don't fucking know that, you've seen the pictures, John. You know what he does to people-"

"Kate, calm down. Call her, phone Sarah right now and listen to her voice. She's fine, you'll be fine."

Even Simon has an undeniable picture of Laswell in her head. She's unshakeable, she's calm and she's fucking funny when she feels like it. But he's never seen this before, she's downright vicious and he can't help but watch with wide eyes as John grabs her phone out of her pocket and forces it into her hands. Can't help how his lip twitches into a frown that none of them can see as her voice shakes when she talks down the phone to her wife. How she slumps against Price and he holds her up, muttering quietly to her as her wife's voice speaks through the phone.

"She's fine. You're fine. He's a lying git, Kate. Nothing's going to happen to Sarah, you'd never allow it and neither would I. Hell, neither would Nik. The big bugger loves her."

Simon knows better than anyone that they're all human, despite all the rumours and the hero worship everyone gazes at them with. They're people. But sometimes even he forgets that Kate Laswell isn't a Station Chief, she's a woman with a wife at home and a group of cats that John likes laughing at pictures of. It's for that reason that he looks away, offers her the dignity of calming down in peace and slipping back into the Watcher persona without his eyes on her.

He pointedly ignores the grateful look John shoots him.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

coming to terms

[deadshadowcreature]

Put her in a hanbok because I CAN

[medusagorgongirl1]

Tim is the big spoon, I don't give a shit that he's smaller, he's the big spoon. He needs to hold Kon for the reassurance that Kon is really there.

Kon is the little spoon and fucking loves it because he never gets to be that vulnerable or feel that loved. I'm convinced that this man loves physical affection and the act of being held would absolutely bring down any of his defenses. Being held makes him feel real and loved and like he's something that deserves it.

They fit together so fucking well and I love it

[majunju]

heat pack

[naturecalls111]

nap

[sweeneydino]

When you make sketches just to get an idea for a plot in a story you're trying to finish

I'm really the one running from the dark with the way I'm running for some sort of inspiration to finish this stuff, stg.

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP4 | Murder Kitten is Pissed

God Bison is hella scary when he's angry (and/or jealous).

[skyxiiocrkblog]

Uhh yeah aroace Dark Cacao is real

[inkskinned]

there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo

and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".

it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.

and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.

there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society

at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this

and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".

hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.

the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy

and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.

and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-

[pepperly]

This game has been on my mind 24/7 since April.