#coding skills assessment

[techtalksonthego]

React Developer Technical Assessment Test for Hiring: Best Practices

In the competitive world of web development, hiring the right React developer can be a game-changer for your projects. ReactJS, with its component-based architecture and virtual DOM, has become one of the most popular libraries for building modern web applications. To ensure you find the best fit for your team, conducting a well-structured react technical test is essential. In this article, we will explore the best practices for designing a React Developer Technical Assessment Test that effectively evaluates a candidate's React skills, problem-solving abilities, and coding proficiency. By following these practices, you can identify top-notch React developers who will contribute to the success of your projects.

Where to Find Qualified React JS Developers?

Online Job Boards and Platforms: Start your search by posting job listings on popular platforms such as LinkedIn, Stack Overflow, and Indeed. These platforms have a vast pool of qualified ReactJS developers actively seeking opportunities.

Freelance Platforms: If you require freelance or contract ReactJS developers, platforms like Upwork, Toptal, and Freelancer offer a wide range of skilled freelancers.

Dedicated Developer Platforms: Consider using platforms like Hired, Gigster, or Gun.io, which specifically connect businesses with top-tier developers after a rigorous vetting process.

Tech Meetups and Hackathons: Offline events like tech meetups and hackathons can be great opportunities to network and connect with passionate and proactive ReactJS developers in your local community.

How to Hire a ReactJS Developer?

Determine Your Project Requirements: Clearly define your project's scope, technology stack, and specific ReactJS skills required to find the right fit for your project.

Conduct a React Assessment Test: Use a well-designed React assessment test to evaluate candidates' technical prowess, problem-solving abilities, and practical application skills. Include scenarios relevant to your project to assess real-world capabilities.

Conduct a Technical Interview: Follow up the assessment test with a technical interview to delve deeper into candidates' problem-solving approach, communication skills, and project experiences.

Review Past Projects and Experience: Examine candidates' portfolios and past projects to assess their coding quality, problem-solving capabilities, and domain expertise.

Finalize the Contract: After shortlisting promising candidates, finalize the contract with clearly defined terms, project scope, and compensation details.

Top ReactJS Interview Questions

Basic Understanding and Knowledge Questions:

What is JSX, and how is it different from standard JavaScript?

Explain the differences between functional and class components in React.

Elaborate on the purpose and advantages of React Hooks.

Practical Application and Problem-Solving Questions:

Develop a React component that fetches and displays data from an API.

Describe your approach to managing state in a complex React application.

Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of using Redux for state management.

Questions Specific to Your Project:

How would you implement [specific feature relevant to your project] using React?

Have you worked with [specific technology or library used in your project] in your past projects?

React Assessment Test-Based Discussion

Defining the Test Objectives:

Clearly outline the objectives of the React assessment test and the specific skills you aim to evaluate.

Aligning Test Objectives with Job Requirements:

Ensure that the test questions align closely with the ReactJS role's necessary skills.

Assessing Problem-Solving Skills and Knowledge:

Include coding challenges and real-world scenarios to assess candidates' ability to handle practical problems.

Emphasizing Practical Coding Tasks:

Prioritize hands-on coding tasks to evaluate candidates' practical skills.

Designing the Test

Choosing Problems and Setting Time Limits:

Select problems that challenge candidates within a reasonable time frame.

Balancing Theoretical Questions and Practical Coding Tasks:

Achieve a balance between theoretical questions and coding challenges to assess both knowledge and application.

Including Real-World Problems:

Integrate real-world scenarios to evaluate candidates' approach to authentic challenges.

Test Content

Focus on Core Concepts:

Assess candidates' understanding of fundamental ReactJS concepts, such as JSX, components, and props.

Incorporate Real-World Scenarios:

Present problems that reflect real-life challenges faced by developers.

Assess Coding Skills:

Include coding exercises to test a candidate's ability to write clean, efficient, and maintainable code.

Implement Time Constraints:

Set appropriate time limits to evaluate candidates' time management skills.

Include Domain-Specific Challenges:

Incorporate relevant challenges to assess candidates' domain-specific knowledge, if applicable.

Managing the Process

Choose the Right Platform:

Select a suitable platform or testing environment to administer the React assessment test.

Set a Regular Review for Biased or Discriminatory Questions:

Ensure the test questions are unbiased and free from discriminatory elements.

Pilot Testing:

Conduct a pilot test with your team to identify and rectify any issues with the test before candidate evaluations.

Conducting the Test

Providing Clear Instructions:

Furnish candidates with clear instructions for taking the React assessment test, including time limits and specific requirements.

Ensuring a Fair and Consistent Testing Environment:

Guarantee that all candidates have an equal opportunity to take the test under fair conditions.

Monitoring the Test:

Monitor the assessment process to address any technical issues that may arise promptly.

Evaluating the Test

Grading Rubric:

Create a grading rubric to evaluate candidates consistently and fairly.

Assessing Clean and Efficient Code:

Evaluate candidates based on their ability to produce clean, well-organized, and efficient code.

Understanding of React Principles:

Gauge candidates' understanding of React principles and best practices.

Problem-Solving Skills:

Assess candidates' problem-solving skills based on their approach to and resolution of given challenges.

Providing Constructive Feedback:

Offer constructive feedback to candidates, regardless of the outcome, to assist them in improving their skills.

Conclusion

Designing an effective Technical Assessment Build with React is crucial for making informed hiring decisions and building a skilled development team. By aligning the test objectives with job requirements, including practical coding tasks and real-world scenarios, and providing constructive feedback to candidates, you can ensure a fair and thorough evaluation process. Remember that an ideal React developer should not only possess strong React skills but also demonstrate problem-solving abilities, clean coding practices, and a deep understanding of React principles. Implementing these best practices will help you attract and hire talented React developers who will drive innovation and excellence in your web development endeavors

.

[homunculus-argument]

The thing about perfect pitch is that it's a combination of having an inherent knack for it, and having that skill honed with a musical education. Someone who could recognise a specific note by the ear but was never taught notes cannot do it, and someone who simply wasn't born with the potential for it can't learn it no matter how thorough of a musical education they have.

I think the same thing applies to what I've come to refer to as "a few raisins is five raisins" type of instruction-giving. The ability to instinctively assess how much information and detail somebody wants or needs when they're asking for instructions. People who cannot do this are enraged by the idea that someone thinks they can, btw. How dare somebody arbitrarily decide to withdraw information and take away someone's agency concerning choices that they don't want to make and whose outcome doesn't matter much.

I'd consider that I have a pretty good knack for it, myself. It's been honed by working both with people who refuse to give exact instructions, my own difficulties in asking for sufficiently exact instructions when I've needed them, and working with people with varying preferences towards instruction-exactness.

People who refuse to give clarifications to their instructions and guidelines in things that they are familiar with leave you no other choice than to demonstrate just how wrong their vague answers can be interprated before they're willing to clarify. If you ask someone "how long does this usually roughly take?" and they just go "I cannot answer that, it varies so much from person to person, every single individual case is different" on and on, refusing to give the roughest of rough estimates, all you can do is say "okay so it can take anything between 20 minutes and 20 years." And only then will they say "oh no, it's more like 3-6 years on average", which was the exact answer you wanted in the first place.

It's not really a comprehension thing, but a moral code to them. I don't believe in having ethical principles that serve no other role than inconvenience absolutely everyone including myself, so I have no qualms about giving simplified instructions. If someone who needs exact instructions is trying to follow a recipe that tells them to add "a few raisins" freezes at the vagueness and asks "how much is 'a few' raisins?" they want an exact number.

Someone who isn't comfortable trusting their own assessment of how much is 'a few' won't be helped by being told to follow their heart and make their own choices. They specifically want somebody to just give some sort of a guideline about this. And being the type that's more comfortable just eyeballing things, I can assess that in this context "a few" means roughly half of a small handful of raisins, and quickly estimate that one half of a small handful is roughly 4-6 individual raisins.

And instead of getting needlessly difficult about refusing to say it, I can just say "oh, that's about five raisins", and everyone can carry on with their day.

[occusearch]

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[andhumanslovedstories]

I’m genuinely surprised how much I love nursing. Every shift, I get to meet and help so many people. I’m float pool so I go to the whole hospital, but I’ve also been floating for a while so everywhere is familiar. Sometimes it’s hard for me to walk through the hospital because I know so many people I pass, and we keep stopping to chat. I float to seventeen different units. That’s crazy! I know so much about the hospital! Every night I’m somewhere else, working with a different team and a different group of patients. The constant novelty and familiarity of floating is delicious.

And I love my patients! I know this all sounds so goody two shoes, but I love that I get to help so many people in so many ways. I only get them for one night, so I try to give them my best. I love tucking people in with warm blankets, I love explaining what I’m assessing to a patient with a new diagnosis, I love having heart to hearts with patients at three am when they can’t sleep, I love making people hurt less and stop throwing up. And you can be a real scamp about it. I love stealing snacks from other floors. I love when a patient is like “god I’d love some chocolate” and I get to be like “sir I know the location of every candy drawer in the hospital, I can get you some chocolate.” Or like figuring out like a cheat code for alleviating symptoms. When someone’s like “wow this heating pack rules” and then falls asleep instantly? It feels good and it’s fun. I have a lot of fun figuring out how to cheer up my patients in minor little stupid ways.

I never have to wonder if my job contributes value to the world. When I go home at the end of my shift, I can always think of something I did that makes me feel proud. That rules! It’s so fun to be proud of yourself! It’s so fun to know that what you do matters and that you are doing it well. And if I don’t feel proud, I have a drive home to think about why and I get a chance to do better next shift. And that’s good too. There are nights where I can feel the way I let someone down, and I have to sit with that, and I have to learn from it.

(And I don’t want to sound like I’m crushing it always super-nurse style, like I’m completely immune to ableism and the other -isms, or that I’m never lazy or callous or checked out. I’m new and I’m learning and I’m human and I’m tired and I’m not always living up to the person I hope to be. But I do get a lot of opportunities to make up for it and try again. That feels good.)

And I love teaching new nurses! I love having to constantly keep studying so I can be in a position to teach anyone anything. I love watching people get better at stuff. And I love that as I’ve gotten more confident as a nurse and a person who trains new nurses that I’ve started coaching more and more on the soft skills of nurses. Those are really hard! We should get as much practice with therapeutic communication as we do with Foley catheters!

Also where I work pays good, and I’ve got great job security, dude, I can buy so many stupid little trinkets. I was so nervous when I decided to go to nursing school that I was fucking up my life and other people’s plans for a job I wouldn’t even end up liking. I’d literally never worked something remotely close to healthcare when I decided to go to nursing school. I’d been in a hospital like once. I feel like this big life change shouldn’t have worked out nearly as well as it has, but hey it’s really fuckin cool it did

[loneisland]

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 — leaving your country won’t solve your problems they said, and yet here you are, in… wait, where are you even?

this issue contains fem! / feminine coded reader + reader wears makeup (luna) + chronically non-house leaver (rin) + jealousy / sort of cheating (leonardo luna) + stinking huge amount of money (reo) + a tiny little bit of objectifying (luna)

featuring itoshi rin, itoshi sae, leonardo luna, mikage reo, chigiri hyoma

author’s note this is me formally outing myself as a leonardo luna lover sry… he’s just so hot 😔 sorry for the wait! more at the end of the post

ITOSHI RIN — JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE

Rin’s idea of a perfect trip with you rhymes with calm, practical, and smart. Not too far, but still gives the perfect amount of change of scene, it’s clear nothing can beat a nice little ryokan where the sun filters through the window. Plus, the owner, a nice old lady, offered you a traditional teapot from the region!

Her grand-daughter won’t stop running around chasing rom to get him to play with her — he’s asked for your help multiple times already, but you don’t really feel like helping. After all, you’d be lying if you said seeing rin play hide and seek with the little girl didn’t make your heart swell just a tiny bit.

Of course, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that rin hates planes and the airport. He just likes trains better! There’s nothing strange about it, everyone’s got their own tastes, right?

ITOSHI SAE — SPAIN

He supposes he should make you visit the place that’s propelled him into the starting blocks of football’s new generation. And maybe also a few restaurants he’s been to that serves really good meals he thinks you’ll like. There’s also a shopping district full of your favourite brands so just maybe, they’ll make a quick stop there. Oh, and, turns out there’s an exposition going on that shows off a few things you really like, so maybe that too… come on, don’t look at him like that, he didn’t know you wanted to go, he just got the tickets for free from a fan.

Besides, this is only for the second day, your first day here is reserved for the city landmarks, so don’t get too excited just yet, alright?

What? You want to go meet his teammates? Jeez, maybe he should have left you at the airport to fend for yourself after all…

LEONARDO LUNA — BRAZIL

Showing off his altinha skills at the beach to make sure a bunch of girls check him out to make you jealous? Check. Keep going to the point where the jealousy consumes your entire being? Also check. Stare back at the girls so that you can’t help but come up to him and kiss the daylights out of him to keep those girls where they are? Definitely check. Yeah, that’s what he calls a vacation… (Which is not the case for the mothers who are desperately trying to cover their children’s eyes, which eventually makes you draw back and assess the situation you got yourself into)

He eventually feels bad for a little, thinking that maybe, getting you jealous wasn’t the best way to get physical affection from you.

At least that’s what he thought until you decide to go back to the hotel to get ready to go out again, and he gets to watch you carefully apply lipgloss in front of the mirror with your body bent over the sink… Yeah, this is definitely not stopping him from doing this again tomorrow.

MIKAGE REO — MONACO

What else to expect from the one boy who’s literally got money up his ass? Nothing less than the absolute best for you, no sir. Staying at the Ritz just to go ahead and spend lunch at Chez Hortense with an unforgettable beach view at Cap Ferret, go back to Monaco to enjoy the hotel’s private seaside perks and amenities, just to end the day at a bar in St-Raphaël with Reo’s family friends. The life.

You’re exhausted by the time your back hits the premium mattress at a little past midnight, and you wonder if you’re going to have to do all of this again tomorrow.

Then again, if it’s not something you want to follow through with again tomorrow, don’t worry, Reo’s got it all planned out. As much as he likes going out, he’ll order room service to get you eggs Benedict with fresh salmon on the side for lazy mornings, and if you’re not hungry, lounging in the hotel suite the entire day is as much of an option as anything else.

CHIGIRI HYOMA — ITALY

How about a cosy little Airbnb for this one? Chigiri is definitely naturally irritable, so a tourist hotspot or a busy city is out of the question. Torino landscapes and a nice breakfast made up of the groceries you gathered on a hurry before closing time yesterday definitely make up for a better vacation than he could ever imagine.

Hair care dates in northern Italy surrounded by plaids and pillows sounds like the quite the dream, no? Hair oils and lengthening treatments, masks and scalp protecting creams scattered around the floor, and you feel that somehow, you must’ve died, because how else did you get to paradise?

Eventually, these sessions will be followed up by an outing in the old city center to eat up some of the best pasta in the city (and show off your hair— but neither of you will admit to that).

author’s note part 2 as I said, summer has been crazy for me and I literally did not have time to check in 🥹 sorry for that! I will try to be more active but as you probably know, uni has just started again… anyways, enjoy!!

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE REALLY APPRECIATED!

[shallowseeker]

Cas is right. Dean, with all of his free will intact, would NOT have murdered the Stynes kid.

Like Cas, with his free will intact, would never have murdered Samandriel.

Their assessments of one another are actually correct.

///

Both are on their way to becoming mindless super-soldiers who feel nothing.

And essentially, they tell each other, "you're gonna have to go through me" (to become that).

///

Some similarities in the fight scenes:

They both reach out a hand to the other's shoulder, saying the other's name:

///

Both twist the other's hand away:

///

They ask each other to: "Stop," both telling the other in so many words that "this isn't you."

Their styles differ, of course. Dean goads Cas defiantly: "Come on you coward, do it!" Cas tries to remain level-headed and controlled, only moving to block and restrain.

Essentially, their desires are the same, for the other to stop.

///

With everyone telling them who they should be, and trying to make them into things other than what their big hearts would actually want, they beg each other to stay as they are.

I don't want you to be what they want you to be.

Just be you. Just be.

///

///

And then, much like Cas in the crypt... flight. Cas leaves.

Dean leaves.

///

And here's what's on my mind... They were both GOOD at being soldiers. Unbelievably good.

Their talents were recognized early and exploited. They became chained to their respective battle aptitudes.

Both had to reckon with becoming addicted to war, to the feeling of adrenaline and black-and-white causes (see: Purgatory, hunting, etc.). Both often feel too much responsibility, punishing themselves and undertaking penance.

They struggled with thinking it's all they were good for, battle or WORK.

Or worse. For Dean, it was often being one of the "crazy ones," only "good for a fling." For Cas, it was often "being expendable."

They're looked down upon by the likes of Metatron: Cas is like a "dumb puppy," a "stupid, lumbering jock." Even Crowley talks to Dean this way on occasion: "It's math (idiot)."

It's also like when Death calls Cas a "stupid soldier." Or when the British Men of Letters call the ones on the ground doing the fighting and getting their hands dirty "dogs." Or when Henry calls hunters "apes."

Despite their supposed "legacy lineage," Sam and Dean inherited the Campbell class. The soldier class.

Interesting to me that Jack inherits this, too. Despite his aptitude for nearly everything he touches (computers, research, even blossoming machete skills when he kills Noah the Gorgon), Jack too will inherit this Campbell-coded "stupidity."

That's what Chuck charges him with in Unity: "TOO STUPID."

Jack has Cas and Dean's class: the soldier class.

[mgc02]

Fix it

Platonic Alastor x tech savy/graphic designer reader

He didn't quite understand you

In fact people never expected you to be friends, and it certainly didn't start put that way

You started out working at Voxtech, you spent hours designing advertisements and editing commercials but when Vox told you to start working for Valentino and editing his porn videos you refused. Vox gave you an ultimatum: work for Valentino or be fired. So with no job you decided to try your hand at redemption

You didn't count on Vox's greatest enemy being the facility manager

At first Alastor threatened you. Suspecting you might be a spy since you were associated with Vox but Charlie convinced him to give you a chance

So he mostly ignored you. Keeping conversations short. Especially since it seemed you guys had absolutely nothing in common

Charlie wanted to find away to put your skills to use for the good of the hotel. You suggested creating a website

Charlie loved that idea so you got to it. You designed and developed it. You made it simple but eye catchy. And you decided to regularly upload edited videos of the shenanigans going on the hotel to attract new patrons (and to give yourself some fun).

Charlie being the person that she is wanted Alastor and you to get along better so she came up with the brilliant idea for you to interview him and create a page on the website for first hand accounts

Alastor agreed and as long as it was not a filmed interview

You had prepared a list of questions

Q. Why did you decide to join the hotel?

A. I decided to help the pathetic princess in her silly little dream to watch others fail miserably in attempt to change their already determined fates as entertainment for myself

Q. What has been your favorite moment here at the hotel?

A. Possibly when Niffty released an entire colony of roaches into Angel's bed. That was quite hilarious!

Q. What progress do you think you or someone else has made thus far that's worth mentioning?

A. I finally managed to get my new radio tower to look exactly like the old one. It was nice gesture really. But I do have preferred place for everything

After that you didn't know if Charlie was still going to be for this idea

You really didn't think you and Alastor would ever see eye to eye until one night you woke up to a knock on your door

You jumped out of bed still in your pajamas and opened the door to see Alastor standing there

You were... quite surprised. He told you he needed your help and it couldn't wait till morning

You followed him to his radio tower to see his system short circuiting. He warned you not to get to close or you'd get a nasty shock

"You're the one who deals with this technology stuff, fix it!" You thought to point out the two issues here

1. You don't fix technology, you utilize it to make things

2. This radio recording system is really old and you only knew what you were doing with MODERN technology

But you could tell he was very agitated. You wondered how it even got broke in the first place

You decided to do the only thing you could think and you Voxtubed it

You found some weird guy with obsession for fixing ham radios and old vintage tvs and watched a few of his videos. After assessing the broken system there were a lot of similarities. And after one boring audio book and online purchase of some parts you fixed it

Alastor was impressed. He tried very hard not show it but he couldn’t help it.

Before he could get back to it. You decided to listen to last chapter of the audio book one last time to make sure it was up to code. Unfortunately you forgot to connect your Bluetooth

Alastor standing in the tower with impatiently tapping his foot waiting for you to give the ok so he can give his listeners a much delayed broadcast stiffened at the sound coming from your phone and static buzzed loudly in the air

"Lovely I imagine the imagery to this is just flashy and distracting as it always is" he says rather annoyed

"Actually" you replied "it's an audio book. There is no visuals. It's just sound. Someone reads aloud a book and records it for people to listen to" you pointed out

It was not that much different from radio

You apologized and told him you would connect back to your headphones so he didn't have to hear it

"You may leave it on" he said surprisingly. So you did

Finally when you were done you went about your business. Everything went back to normal. Except... Alastor kept calling upon you before every broadcast demanding you play your audio book again to look over his system to make sure it won't crash on him mid broadcast

And each time he told you there was no need for your headphones

You finally decided to grow a pair and challenge him

"Once again I'd like you to check it over and make sure it's up to code. Play your dumb sound book again and get to it" he spoke as if the audio book did not matter at all but you knew better

"Oh I have it memerized by now. No need to play it again" you responded mischievously

His eyes narrowed and you could hear the sound of a record scratch. "Now, now. I won't allow for any mistakes that would not end well for you. Now play it again" he demanded

"You know if you liked the audio book you could just say so. Also you don't have to listen to the same end chapter over and over again. I have other probably more exciting books" you proposed

He acted offended. "How dare you insinuate that I would enjoy something as pointless and boring as that." Of course he didn't want to admit that anything that came from technology could possibly be good in any way and he could never ACTUALLY like it. No way

"You know its not a lot different from radio. Telling stories with just your voice. Like any kind of art this is just another medium. Another way of expressing oneself. You don't have to suddenly be Mr. Technology guy to like audio books" you said

Alastor seemed to pause in thought. "Hmmm... fine. I guess... it wasn't too horrible to listen to literature being read aloud in a soothing voice. Maybe I'll give some other pieces a try"

And after that you were at the radio tower all the time. Playing audio books for him. You eventually showed him your art skills and showed off the new website. He taught you a lot about his Era and about radio. You guys even redid the interview live on his radio show. Though the results were still quite similar

Though Alastor still hated technology he respected that it was something you enjoyed. And he did listen to the occasional audio book, although it was more like he made you play it for him

An unlikely friendship had formed. And nobody saw it coming. But you wouldn't trade it for the world

[chaosandmarigolds]

siedem 🚑🚑

EMS AU thingyyy!!!

summary: Simon is hopelessly in love with the newest paramedic on base, however he just has the social skills of a five year old…plus what could he deserve someone like you? tw: mentions of a shitty bf and girl code kicks in strong

For the record you had two relationships in your past, however one was from kindergarten and the other was a little high school relationship so weren't sure if those could count lord knew with paramedic school and then the military you weren't exactly...seeking a romantic partner.

however, the terrifying lieutenant seemed to catch your interest. Much to your dismay because he seemed interested as well and that would be a bad thing but- well, you were sure if he did actually or if…maybe he’s just weird.

"Men are shit." The girl next to you had down at least five beers in the past ten minuets, however she seemed somewhat stable. So from where you kept your face buried within your arms you look up from the bar counter.

she looked around your age, if not you if you had the guts to wear a dress like hers- never thought a little black and shiny dress would do you any good. Either way, off topic, you were more concerned with the laceration on the side of her head- habit you supposed.

see person = trauma assessment or something like that so with a little grumble you push the vodka soda had been nursing for the night and look at her. “What happened to your face?” That…sounded so much meaner than you intended it too. The words a bit grumbled together and sleepy.

the girl looks at you and flashes a giddy smile, “You should see the other guy!”

you blink slowly, “There’s a other guy?”

She tilts her head to your remark and then brings the glass to her perfectly painted lips, “You’re not bright, are ya? No, my boyfriend sucks ass and threw my purse at me-“

“that’s mean.”

“men are mean.”

To that you hum and grab a napkin, splitting it in half as you move to stand to the side of her. “M a paramedic, m gonna help you.” she lets you dab the napkin on the small cut, the cloth sticking to it, “Honey bun, how many have you had?”

that was weird question, so you blink and then turns slowly to the glass, “Tw…thrr…four? No…I dunno. A few.”

the bartender chimes in- two vodka sodas and a shot of tequila. So the girl gives a laugh and then hops off of her seat, her heels making her a foot taller than you. And she pats your shoulder, “Let’s get you- oh.” As she tried to redirect you back to your seat and turned she was met with a man.

you let out a laugh, a beaming and giddy grin on your face, “Oh my god!! Lieutenant freaking- oh I shouldn’t say freaking, sorry uh- Lieutenant Riley! Hi!!”

the girl glances to you and slowly moves to make a small barrier, his overall deamor not exactly putting her to ease, “Hi. I’m Genny- and my cousin, Allie.”

What?

to that the lieutenant leans over to catch your eyes and to that you give an exaggerated look of confusion, and he speaks, “You have a cousin?”

you huff and shake your head, tapping the girl on the arm, “She’s jus being nice; this is- this is my boss, kinda sorta but he’s super weird but like…I dunno, but I’m his boss and he’s my boss.”

“You’re not my boss.”

“But Mary-!”

Simon looks to Genny and then gives a brief explanation on who he was and who you were, “Thank you for trying to protect her. But we have a meeting’ at 0600 tomorrow nd’ I need to get ‘er home.” He then looks to you, “C’mon.”

(I’m just yapping. Idk. Idk. Comments and feedback mean so so much, tootles!!)

[veone]

GSHADE 3.5.0 Cracked Tutorial Feb.2023

‼️Update:3/2023‼️ Due to gshade somehow being online again! You can still install the program with this tutorial but to avoid the update to version 4.2 notification keeping you from proceeding-Download the program from mediafire and then turn your pc to airplane mode and continue the process below! Note that when you turn your internet back on that your going to get the notification still ignore it. That what I’m doing.

Alright with the recent events regarding the development team of GShade figuratively going under and the current version of this program available being far from perfect. It would be lovely to back to a version of GShade that doesn't have malware, the changes that disabled the depth of field effects, and the removal of some older shaders. So here's a tutorial on how to install 3.5.0 of GShade. It's the version that we as a collective switched to all those months back, when GShade popped off in the community. Also the version I used to take this picture and got from @toskasimz who sent me the files. She's the reason why I have my pretty pictures back. It took a long time to get my preset to look like this and the modern versions of Gshade and Reshade don't have the shaders for this anymore. The suggested skill level for this is basic knowledge of how to install Reshade/Gshade and knowledge of where to find the game Bin file and Program Files on your pc.

Note: This version is before the code that shut down your PC, if you manipulated the code of the program, was introduced. Use at your own risk. I personally have no issue with using it. I'm using my laptop I do school work on and I have no money to buy a new one so that's my assessment on how safe it is.

To start download this media fire file. It's a Rar file. Unzip it.

In the unzipped version of this file, you should have a folder that's highlighted below called GShade.

Inside that file are two folders. Program Files-G-Shade and TS4 Bin Folder. These folder names correspond with where the contents of these will go on your pc.

Alright inside the folders you should have the following content in the Program Files-G-Shade

Inside the TS4 Bin Folder, you should have the following contents inside it.

Place the GShade folder from the Program Files-G-Shade into your computer's Program(x86) file. This may have a different name based on your computer.

Next Place the contents of the TS4 Bin Folder which should be the G-Shade configuration file and the folder of GShade-Shaders into your Bin folder. (note I have gshade installed already so you won't have the extra files before installation.)

Now go back to the Program(x86) file on your PC and go into the G-shade folder.

Double Click to run the program.

This is where you gonna need to pull your Reshade/Gshade knowledge. You just install the program as normal to the game. I will say I don't know if this will work with other games.

Alright, this is what you should be left with after installing G-Shade. Everything transferred to the Program Files with the exception of this folder. Leave it be and go to the Program Files file on your pc.

Once in the Program Files folder double click the GShade Control Panel.

You should get the following screen Go to the Installations tab. Delete this file path. This is a very important step. It's not gonna work if you don't reinstall the program. Delete it and click Add New.

Install the program as viewed above. Click Next and set up your screenshot folder.

Click No on viewing the guild. You should have a control panel on your desktop. You can go in a convert you reshade presets if needed.

Alright if everything was done correctly open your game. It'll take a moment to load and when it does you greeted with the following screen on start-up.

Ignore the yellow text on the top. It says that your effects are disabled because it's not online. It works I could be misinterpreting what "effect" means but my shader work so I'm not complaining.

And there you go. Installed, and works perfectly. Don't update it. I don't know what it'll do. I have not tried. I will upload an edited version of my preset later this week or tonight. I have to tweak the color of the fog and make a decent post. Enjoy! I am open to helping under this post and in dms!

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY #8

📋-goal sitting tips :

Setting goals for school can help you stay focused, organized, and motivated throughout the academic year. Here’s a tailored with practical goal-setting tips specifically for students:

1️⃣ Define Your Academic Goals

Think about what you want to achieve this year. Is it achieving a certain GPA, mastering specific subject, or for college entrance exams? Be about your objectives.

2️⃣ Set Specific Goals

Make your goals specific so that you know exactly what you’re aiming for. Instead of saying “I want to do well in math,” say, “I want to raise my math grade to a B by the end of the semester.”

3️⃣ Make It Measurable

Use measurable criteria to track your progress. This could be completing a certain number of study hours each week, scoring a specific grade on tests, or finishing all assigned homework on time.

4️⃣ Use the SMART Framework

Set SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. For example:

- Specific: “I will study for at least two hours every Sunday for my history exam.”

- Measurable: “I will complete all my assignments on time.”

- Achievable: “I can realistically aim for a 3.5 GPA this semester.”

- Relevant: “Improving my writing skills aligns with my goal of studying English Literature in college.”

- Time-bound: “I will finish reading my assigned book by the end of this month.”

5️⃣ Break It Down

Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. If your goal is to prepare for finals, break it down into studying each subject for a set amount of time each week.

6️⃣ Create an Action Plan

Draft a detailed action plan, including specific tasks and deadlines. Use a planner or a digital calendar to map out when you’ll study, complete assignments, and review for tests.

7️⃣ Stay Organized

Organize your materials, notes, and schedules. Use binders, color-coded folders, and digital tools to keep everything in one place, making it easier to stay on top of your tasks.

8️⃣ Set Daily and Weekly Goals

In addition to long-term goals, set daily and weekly goals to keep yourself accountable. Each night, jot down what you want to accomplish the next day—homework assignments, studying, or extracurricular activities.

9️⃣ Find a Study Routine That Works for You

Experiment with different study techniques and environments to figure out what helps you focus best, whether it’s quiet study sessions, group study dates, or flashcards.

🔟 Seek Help When Needed

Don’t hesitate to ask for help from teachers, tutors, or classmates if you’re struggling with a subject. Learning is a collaborative process, and seeking assistance shows strength.

1️⃣1️⃣ Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge your accomplishments, big and small. If you finish an assignment on time or score well on a test, treat yourself to something you enjoy, like a favorite snack or a fun outing.

1️⃣2️⃣ Reflect and Adjust

At the end of each month or term, take a moment to reflect on what you accomplished. Assess what strategies worked and what didn’t, and adjust your goals and plans accordingly.

1️⃣3️⃣ Stay Positive and Motivated

Keep a motivational quote or your goals visible at your study area. Find inspiration in stories of successful students who overcame challenges and achieve their dreams.

1️⃣4️⃣ Maintain a Growth Mindset

Embrace a growth mindset by acknowledging that failures are opportunities to learn. If you face setbacks, reflect on what you can improve and keep moving forward.

© bloomzone

[postapocalyptic-cryptic]

Some fucked up jazzprowl. Hatred and war on the planet Cybertron.

---

The war has changed them all. Every single Autobot is colder than they were before all this, and Prowl’s not sure any of them could be called good mecha anymore. The things they’ve seen, the things they’ve been forced to do…

There’s something to be said for evidence of humanity.

Jazz wakes up screaming again.

No amount of altered recharge code or tweaks made to his recharge slab and cable have been able to get the night terrors under control, and he hasn’t had a restful night’s sleep in decacycles. Based on Prowl’s calculations, his systems are running at about 80% of their normal capacity, and his work has been suffering for it. Prowl has ordered Ratchet to prioritize his case until a solution is found.

In the dark, in the small hours of the morning, Prowl grabs Jazz’s wrists and pins him to the bed. “Stop,” he orders. “Stand down.”

Jazz keeps fighting him, kicking and thrashing and snapping his dentae together like he would bite if Prowl gave him the chance.

“I said, stand down.”

Jazz freezes, goes limp. Then, he bolts, and Prowl is left on his back wondering how he hasn’t been seriously injured during one of these episodes yet.

Jazz comes out of the washracks almost an hour later, optics tinged purple and tears drying on his face. He doesn’t offer any explanation.

“This has got to stop,” Prowl says when Jazz sits on the edge of the couch, not close enough to touch.

“Right, I’ll get right on that. Because I’m doing it on purpose.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, actually, I don’t,” Jazz snaps, turning to face Prowl fully.

“I mean—”

“That I need to get myself under control?”

Prowl’s dentae click together when he shuts his mouth.

“Yeah,” Jazz continues. “I heard that conversation.”

“We can’t keep going like this, Jazz.”

“Well, then, I guess I’ll find somewhere else to sleep. Somewhere I won’t disturb you with my loss of control.”

“Jazz,” Prowl begins, but Jazz is already up and out the door. Perfect.

Jazz doesn’t message him the next morning, and doesn’t respond to Prowl’s professional email about scheduling conflicts. Prowl checks the schedule and sees that it’s been fixed, so clearly, the message was received.

When Prowl greets Mirage and Blaster in the mess hall, he’s ignored. He can expect a lack of cooperation from SpecOps for the next few cycles, then. Typical. Petty, but typical.

Prowl is somewhat skilled at assessing people, figuring out their strengths and weaknesses. One of Jazz’s biggest problems is his inability to keep his work and personal lives separate.

Prowl doesn’t see Jazz until after lunch, at a meeting with Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet. Jazz proposes a ridiculous solution to their current security dilemma, and Prowl coolly shoots it down.

“Let’s hear Jazz out, Prowl,” Optimus says, and Prowl recoils. Talking to SpecOps is one thing. Bringing Optimus into their personal issues is another.

Jazz grins from across the room, and Prowl sneers.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

The Old Therebefore 🐍🕊️ | A Six of Crows Imagine

Takes place after the events of S&B S2

My masterlists

Characters & Pairings: gang leader!reader x Crows (platonic). Kaz Brekker x reader (slight tension)

content warnings: profanity, mentions of violence and death, typical SOC themes. | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4k

Premise: it’s not often Kaz Brekker needs assistance to a job involving anyone other than his Crows. Yet, there is always a first. When a job comes involving not only a high cash prize but also chances of coming out alive slim, Kaz accepts it is out of his skill level. So, what does he do? Take a risk by recruiting his top rival since Pekka Rollins was run out of town….she’s got the charm of a snake with a voice of a songbird. 

Note: so as you can tell by the title of the imagine and song linked, I saw the new hunger games movie (back in November) and literally could not stop thinking about this song/scene. Then of course my hyperfixations like to collide and wallah: here is the end result.

Disclaimer as always: the song and lyrics belong to Suzanne collins and all the SOC characters belong to Leigh Bardugo

---------

“You know, Kaz, I know better than to question you on most things,” Jesper scanned his surroundings, voice low with slight concern. “But I can’t help but wonder why you’ve decided to drag us to the ‘Snake Pit’ tonight.” The sharpshooter sipped his glass of rum after a close inspection, “mind telling us.” 

Seated around him, Inej, Nina, and Wylan expressions bore the same unease. All on high alert the moment Kaz led them through the doors and down the spiral staircase into the Barrel’s infamous Snake Pit. 

Located deep on the opposite side of the Crow Club, the Snake Pit was an underground bar/club. Home of the legendary crime gang, the Blood Serpents. They’d been around since Kaz was 15, their leader to have been the same age as him. Yet the public knew very little of the notorious boss. Only by their code name. 

The Snake Charmer

Of course, this information made Kaz lose his mind at times. Unable to identify his anonymous rival who’s bested him on multiple occasions. If the opportunity arose, Kaz would pay any amount of kruge to find out who the Snake Charmer was. It’d been well over a decade. His patience was running thin.

Finally, the wait would pay off in the form of a messenger boy. 

Knowing Inej was too recognizable, Kaz sent a young member of the Dregs--who was under the radar to the other gangs--to infiltrate the Snake Pit the week prior. The boy returned hours later to relay a crucial piece of information. Now, Kaz was to test that theory. 

Clutching his cane, the crime boss did not spare a glance to his fellow Crows the second they entered the Pit. Even when they took claim to a rounded booth in a far corner by the bar. His attention was occupied. Analyzing the club and its features. Mentally noting the Blood Serpent members, who were identifiable by their red snake tattoos on their hands. 

One of which was the bartender that served them drinks. A young woman about their age, she wore a maroon pin-stripped 5 piece suit although the blazer was forgone. The tattoo was on full display. Kaz assessed her lingering on him when she pushed the tray of drinks toward Jesper. Likely recognizing him and by default the rest of the Crows. The bartender didn’t say anything after, only giving a nod before moving to the next customer. 

To the other Crows, they thought Kaz’s intense stare on the bartender was either because he thought she was attractive or making note she was just another member of the Serpents. But, what they did not know was Kaz figuring out if she was the Snake Charmer.

“A woman?” he questioned the boy, narrowing his eyes. “You are telling me the Snake Charmer--leader of the Blood Serpents--is a woman and works under the guise of an employee at the Snake Pit. Are you positive?”

The boy nodded profusely, “Yes, Mr. Brekker. I can assure you it was no man singing that song. She sounded like a siren if I must say. She calmed the snakes like it was nothing-- I see why they call her Snake Charmer.”

So a woman was responsible for a lot of Kaz’s failures. Not to mention winning the territory he’d hoped to gain when Pekka was defeated. They’d come to a settled agreement through a middle man. An action that annoyed Kaz. But he knew better than to wage war with the Snake Charmer. 

So far the women in the gang he’s managed to identify besides the bartender were two serving girls, a door bouncer, and two poker dealers. A total of six. Of the men, most of them were standing on the walls and mingling along the floor. 

Bet she didn’t expect him to enter her den. 

The Snake Pit was exactly like what the boy described. Dark wood floors and walls up to the high ceilings. Dangling chandeliers, poker tables, two bars on either side. Booths aligned the walls. The most notable and unique trait, however, was the glass snake enclosure right smack in the middle of the floor. It was cylinder shaped at the bottom, lining the floor to the ceiling where it branched out on either side to resemble a tree. Plants and dirt filled it. 

As did ten serpents. Ranging from tiny garden snakes to a python.  

Jesper cringed when his eyes landed on it. Wylan looked deathly afraid. Nina found it amusing. Inej thought it was fitting. Kaz was pleased to see it. To him, that was ammunition.

Kaz answered Jesper with one word that told the whole story, “Business.” 

“What business could you possibly have with the Snake Charmer?” Inej questioned, hand on her side close to her knives. “Don’t you think we should be discussing the plan?”

“And we are,” Kaz rebutted, leaning into the booth with his gaze set on the enclosure. “We’re here to flush out the Snake Charmer.” 

Jesper choked on his drink, meanwhile Nina and Inej looked at Kaz like he was crazy. “You’re fooling us aren’t you?” “Boss, jokes aren’t really your thing--.” “You’re insane, Kaz, if you believe that’ll happen.”

“You see that enclosure?” He cut off their rambling. All responded with a look of, ‘Of course we see the ginormous Snake habitat in the middle of the club full of our enemies.’ Kaz nodded to it, “we need to destroy it.”

Once again, Jesper choked. This time on his saliva. “You’ve lost it,” he ignored the glare from his boss, “Did going through the fold change you, Kaz? Clearly you’re not actually thinking we let loose a dozen snakes,” he leans forward to whisper, “we don’t even know if they’re venomous. If their bites don’t kill us, surely their owner will.” 

Analyzing Kaz, Inej lowered her tone, “what are you not telling us, Kaz?”

Giving one last scan of his surroundings, Kaz addressed his Crows with the truth of why he brought them to the Snake Pit. “I have a lead on who the owner of this establishment is.” Their reactions were immediate, Kaz continued. “A week ago I sent a young messenger boy here to scout out the place--find anything that could help identify the Serpents boss. During closing he snuck into one of their storage closets,” Kaz attempted to locate said closet, somewhere behind one of the bars. 

Kaz paid close attention to the bartender and the poker dealers. “At some point in the night, one of the snakes got loose. Or,” he turned to Jesper and Inej, “my theory is they use those snakes as a means to get information on people.”

“Great,” Nina sighs, “you want us to free the Serpent's torture method. Well done, Brekker. Excellent plan if I must say.” The heartrender received a glare, but Kaz did not entertain it further.

“As I was saying,” his tone was stern, making the others hold onto any additional comments. “The boy overheard the panic of one of the Serpents. Turns out, the Snake Charmer doesn’t take kindly to her pets being mishandled.”

“I can see why,” Jesper mutters, glancing at the enclosure. 

Kaz gripped his cane, watching the female bouncer approach the bartender and exchange words. “He then heard a woman’s voice. Singing.”

Wylan raised a brow, “Singing?”

“Whatever it was, it calmed the snake. Allowed her to return the animal back to its case. The boy said he heard arguing between a couple members who hoped to clean up their mistake before the boss discovered it.” Kaz shifted in his seat, “didn’t end well for them.”

“Did you get a look at her face?” Kaz peered out his office window, facing the direction of the Snake Pit’s location. Moonlight shining down, almost as though the Saints wanted him to see the building. Behind him, he heard the boy clear his throat.

“No, Sir.” He stuttered, tensing at the sight of Kaz lowering his head. “The door didn’t have any cracks or holes I could see through. I tried looking underneath, but only got a glimpse of their shoes.”

Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose, deep in thought. “What happened after she finished singing? How’d you get out?”

“Once the snake was handled, she ordered them to her office. She sounded….calm, but you know how you just know when someone is masking their anger. That’s how it was when she addressed them.” Kaz hummed, indicating he understood the boy’s implication. Considering he was guilty of such.

“And then?”

“I waited a few minutes until I was sure they were gone. The direction they went sounded like it was the far left of the club--opposite side of the spiral staircase that’s both the entrance and exit. I think there's a secret back entrance where they were because when I came out it was completely empty.”

Kaz found the secret back entrance. Camouflaged as a bookcase. He was able to spot the hinges carefully placed to where the light made it difficult to see them. But Kaz Brekker knew the art of illusion in the back of his hand. 

“This is what’s going to happen,” he became serious. The Crows lean in to hear him while maintaining their alert. “We need to expose those snakes from their enclosure. They’ll be our bait. From there we wait. If my theory is correct, those snakes only answer to their master. Or charmer in this case.” Kaz paused to locate the female workers in the club. “Her act as an employee is a ruse.”

Jesper followed his gaze, once again becoming riddled with unease. “You’re implying the Snake Charmer is either the bouncer who let us in, the gal who served our drinks, the serving girls working the floor or one of the poker dealers?”

“That’s exactly what I’m implying, Jesper.”

“Why would she do that?”

Nina snorted, sipping at her whiskey, “Isn’t it obvious?” she didn’t wait for an answer, “no one would pay a second glance to a worker. They are either too drunk or too naive to assume the pretty bartender or serving girl is the boss of one of Ketterdam’s deadly gangs.” She gestured to the serving girl closest to her. “My money’s on her being the Charmer.”

Jesper scoffed, “no way. To be a ghost and retain anonymity all these years you have to have a great poker face.” He states the obvious, “it’s one of the dealers.” 

Inej rolled her eyes, “are you seriously making this a competition?”

“You don’t think it could be the bouncer?” Wylan asked, scratching the back of his neck to relax the tension he felt. 

“No,” Jesper replied with a wave of a hand, “that would be obvious, don’t you think? Although….,” he rubs his chin, “considering they let us in -- and we know how much you and the Snake Charmer have been rivals so to speak all these years, boss -- you don’t think by letting us through that we walked into some sort of trap?”

Inej immediately straightened, “Jes has a point.” Nina stopped munching on her calamari, waiting for Kaz. She too realized the potential threat.

Kaz, however, remained relaxed. “It’s not the bouncer, but I know the Charmer has already been notified of our presence.” Wylan’s worry intensified.

“What makes you think that?”

“As we’ve been talking I noticed all the women working the club have interacted at some point. Some making it obvious to point us out,” He was referring to the bouncer nodding her head to the one serving girl. “Others are more discreet.” That was to the poker dealer and bartender. 

“And yet,” Jesper groans. “You still want us to make a scene. We are literally in a place crawling with snakes--pun not really intended.” the table rolled his eyes at him, save for Wylan who found the joke amusing. “Point is….you want to unleash the Snake Charmer’s serpents into a club full of innocent people--.”

“Innocent,” Nina scoffed under her breath. 

“What if one of us gets bitten?” Jesper kept his gaze on Kaz with mild concern. “I don’t believe for a second the Snake Charmer will kindly hand over the antidote to save our lives. She’ll take pleasure in watching us suffer a horrible death.” Picturing the scene, the sharpshooter downs the rest of his drink, cringing in the process. “Saints, this is not how I pictured I’d die.”

Kaz rolled his eyes, “No one’s dying today. No mourners.” Everyone glanced at each other.

“No funerals.”

“Right then,” It was time to work. “Here’s what we’ll do….”

A prayer slipped past his lips before Jesper inhaled deeply and let the bullet fly. The sound caused gasps from around him, though he was quick to hide the weapon in its holster before one noticed.

“Who did that?!” came a shout from the bouncer. Patrons were already making their way toward the exit. Not wanting to get caught in a crossfire. 

Jesper occupied himself with his rum, glancing over his shoulder to Inej, who signaled to him the bullet did not penetrate the glass completely. Sighing, he downed the contents, waited until it was clear, and shot again. 

The second bullet hit the glass with a loud clunk. Once again alerting the occupants of the Snake Pit. Many searched themselves for any sign of blood for fear they were shot by an unknown assailant. 

“C’mon,” Jesper whispered, peering at the enclosure. He saw the evidence of his bullet, a chip in the glass near the bottom. If he could time it right, without someone getting in the way, he’d hit the mark. 

Meanwhile employees of the club were trying to calm the crowd, “everyone please remain--.” Another shot rang out, more shouts echoing. Kaz’s patience was running thin. Their door to escape started to close as he noticed the security begin to close in on the Crows. No doubt suspecting they were to blame for the chaos. 

Kaz Brekker coming to the Snake Pit with his most trusted advisors for only a drink? Yeah right.

Then, almost in slow motion, the sound best described as ice cracking filled his ears. All eyes turned to the enclosure. Fear surfacing as they witnessed spiderwebs painting the glass. Then all hell broke loose when the glass gave way, allowing the beasts freedom from their isolation. 

Screams ensued. People climbing from the floors onto tables and chairs. Hissing from the snakes intensified the hysteria. Kaz even found himself moving when the python pivoted in his direction. Jesper of course found himself on top of a chair the moment the glass shattered. Inej was high up on a balcony on the opposite side of the club. How did she get up there? No one knew. Wyalan was close to Jesper. He too found safety on a stool. Nina meanwhile was listening to the heartbeats around here. The number decreased each time a patron made it up the staircase and out the door. 

Seconds passed and no sight of the Snake Charmer. Kaz was getting worried. Fearing the plan was a failure. His worry increased when he found himself scurrying on top of a poker table. Distracted with trying to find the workers he suspected of being the Snake Charmer to realize the cobra had got close to him. Had he not acted fast, the man’s leg would’ve fallen victim to its fangs. Catching Jesper’s eye, they shared the concern evident in their expressions. Wondering just how the fuck they were going to escape the situation. 

Suddenly his prayers were answered in the form of an angelic voice. Causing the screams to disappear…..

“You’re heading for heaven, 

The sweet old hereafter, 

And I’ve got one foot in the door. 

But before I can fly up, 

I’ve loose ends to tie up, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore.”

Heads turned, facing the direction of the sound. Their expressions turned into pure shock. Kaz may have had his suspicions, but it still came as a shock to discover he was right all along. 

Ketterdam’s notorious crime boss, leader of the Blood Serpents….was the Snake Pit’s bartender. 

Walking around the bar, crunching against the glass of broken bottles on the floor from the hysteria of customers fleeing to get away from the snakes, the woman kept her gaze on slithering animals. The hissing continued as she inched closer, however she did not seem fazed at all. Her singing continued.

“I’ll be along, 

When I’ve finished my song, 

When I’ve shut down the band, 

When I’ve played out my hand, 

When I’ve paid all my debts, 

When I have no regrets, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

The hissing got quieter. The animals turning so they were in line with the woman. Slithering slowly but surely toward her. Confirming to everyone she was their master. Their charmer.

Off to the side, a few of the Blood Serpents rushed in with crates. Pushing people aside. Meanwhile the woman got to her knees, leveling down to the snakes who were now moving toward her. Eyes locked, face serious. The Snake Charmer was obviously trying to keep herself together. But Kaz felt the rage seep off of her. 

“I’ll catch you up, 

When I’ve emptied my cup, 

When I’ve worn out my friends, 

When I’ve burned out both ends, 

When I’ve cried all my tears, 

When I’ve conquered my fears, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

The snakes smaller in size slithered up her outstretched arms. Covering both limbs in a tangle of scales. One slithering up to encase her neck, almost like a necklace. The Cobra took claim to her waist. The python circled her, almost like it contemplated joining its fellow serpents. 

Around Kaz, he made out the faint gasps of customers who had yet to depart. Glancing around, he witnessed them all in states of shock and awe. Even his Crows were at a loss of words. 

As was he.

The Snake Charmer’s voice turned strong. Echoing through the entire club as she belted out the next verse. Bringing chills to everyone’s arms.

“I’ll bring the news, 

When I’ve danced off my shoes, 

When my body’s closed down, 

When my boat’s run around, 

When I’ve tallied the score,

 And I’m flat on the floor, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

Rising from the ground, she was covered by the creatures. Her python has wrapped itself around her leg. Its tail was on the floor while its head perched by where the cobra had secured itself on her belt. From the neck down the Snake Charmer was a sight to behold. Revealing why the nickname was not only because she was the leader of a gang filled with snakes. 

It was because she was gifted with the talent of charming their namesake.

Moving toward her subordinates holding crates, no doubt to keep the animals contained, the woman passionately sang the final verse. Giving it all she had. 

“When I’m pure like a dove, 

When I’ve learned how to love.”

Tone dropping, she leaned to lower the snakes into the crates. Gently as though they were newborn babies. Kaz caught her stoke the pythons head, her singing so low it was good the place was dead quiet. 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

Finally, after what felt like forever, the snakes were safely stored in the crates. Lids dropping shut with the gang members hurrying from the floor to transport them to another room. No one moved. Any and all eyes focused on the woman in the pinstripe suit. Back turned to the Crows and other patrons, but from the fearful look of her door bouncers, everyone silently prayed they’d make it to the morning. 

Moving her neck in a circle, a low crack from the joints that had been stiff, she slowly turned to face the audience. A clenched jaw and fury in her eyes made it clear what was going through her mind. Especially to Kaz, who was fighting to not look away when she instantly met his gaze.

Oh, she knew alright.

“Well…” the Charmer’s tone sent chills along the Crows' bodies. “You’ve certainly got my attention, Mr. Brekker.” Her spite was evident. Complete rage. Likely planning every means of torture she wished to bestow on her rival and his comrades. 

It was so quiet. So thrilling. Nobody dared to move a muscle. Patrons watching the stare down between the King, and now the unmasked Queen, of the Barrel. It was captivating yet terrifying. Wondering who would make the first move, and if it will end in a blood bath.

Then she snapped, “Everyone out!!” The floor cleared in seconds. Leaving only Serpents and Crows. They knew better than to attempt an escape. Plus the moment their boss addressed Kaz, the Serpents had circled them to prevent any sudden attack. 

Kaz remained composed. Watching closely as the Snake Charmer moved to the bar to pour herself a drink. “Before I kill you, Kaz Brekker, and your little birds too,” she did not look at him, paying attention to the liquid filling the glass. He tightened his jaw. “I want to hear you explain to me why you brought yourselves to my club,” bringing the glass to her lips, she downed half the alcohol in one gulp. Drawing her eyes up to make contact with him, “And destroyed my babies' home.”

Her footsteps echoed, walking toward the center of the floor where Kaz stood. “You’re a smart man.” She took another sip, this time slower. “Not only did you manage to draw me into the light, but you knew exactly how to do so.” A smirk plastered on Kaz’s face. A bold move considering the threat lingering at displaying his smugness to the Serpent Queen. Her lips were in a thin line, “What brings you to my den?”

Straightening his posture, Kaz stepped closer. Their distance is only a mere foot from one another. Making everyone--Crows and Serpents alike--suffocating from the tension between the two. 

“You won’t be killing us tonight, Charmer.” If only he knew her real name. Only having her title felt like she had some reign on him. Superior in a sense. The whole Barrel knew him as Dirtyhands, but Kaz Brekker had his own reputation. For her, people can now put a face to the name Snake Charmer. A beautiful woman with the voice of an angel. So powerful it made snakes bend to her will. 

Also, people would be shaken by the fact the deadly gang leader served them drinks during their visits to the Snake Pit. Hidden in plain sight. Listening to them spill their drunken secrets. 

Kaz leaned closer, the scent of her perfume hitting his nostrils. Jasmine. A flower known to attract snakes. He understood why she wore it. The smell was alluring. As was her presence, but Kaz dismissed the thought as quick as it came. “Doing so will result in you losing an important job I’m willing to negotiate your assistance on. Believe me, the reward is more than generous--enough for the both of us to share.” Now he got her attention, confirmed by the way her head slightly tilted, brow raised. 

“Humor me, Brekker.”

“Have you ever heard of jurda parem?”

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I think we all know I basically spent these 3 chapters cackling maniacally

In the demon business, we call that BAIT!

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I'm all but wiggling happily. I love a good game of chess. I'm not entirely sure it actually is a game of chess beyond in Kabru's mind.

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OH GOOD HE'S A LITTLE BIT STUPID. This comic really does take care to portray people as badass, hyper-competent, and kinda stupid, all in different ways.

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oh, ALWAYS love a Santa-coded crime boss.

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I appreciate that Kabru's pride is solidly among the things he's 100% willing to temporarily ignore in order to be someone's friend/get them to do what he wants. I like that in a man.

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Interesting - clearly he's being magically influenced, but not so...directly? as to have the hourglass pupils.

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^ words of a man who is about to get his ass, and his entire criminal organization, absolutely WHUPPED by like 6 elves. I suspect the Canaries are underestimating the tallmen and other denizens of this dungeon, because they're arrogant pricks, but the locals are underestimating this elite team of elvish warriors a LOT more. I can't wait to find out what they're actually doing while "sight-seeing." Spreading out into tactical positions, maybe?

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ASS! WHUPPED! omg it's like an evil version of the Wink.

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I want to see this fight animated so fucking bad.

I dunno, Kabru, he clearly uses the combination pretty fucking effectively.

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WHY DO YOU THINK THAT A VISIBLE DEMONSTRATION OF MONSTERS WILL GET THROUGH WHERE WORDS DIDN'T? These people already know there are monsters down here... And at best, of course, a bunch of people will die... But they're just short-lived races so I suppose it doesn't matter :)

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While I do appreciate this dedication to making Mithrun look as cool as possible at all times, sending a giant, zombie-making walking mushroom into the middle of the Level 4 lake is going to be SUCH a disruption to that ecosystem!! Somewhere, Senshi just groaned in pain like Obi-Wan when Alderaan was destroyed.

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Mithrun has recognized that Kabru is going at picking out unusual people in a crowd, and is now using him as a manhandled tool to do so, and I just think that's Neat.

And it works! (So now it's their turn to get their asses handed to them.)

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This chapter cover is giving me a lot of feelings about...love, and families of choice.

Except for how I'm holding Laios in one arm while brandishing a knife at that lion fountain behind him. Get the HELL away from my boy, you tiny manifestation of the granting of wishes, and all you greater ones as well.

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oh are they now? They're definitely canaries in a coal mine, then. Badass and valued for their skills, but disposable. Hmm AU where Marcille...

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oh my god holy shit never mind, it turns out Thistle sucks at this when facing an opponent who isn't caught off-guard.

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It is possible that Mithrun is honestly, earnestly trying to help Thistle? As best he can?

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Sharing food as love!!!

MY GIRL!!

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STILL A TEAM!

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Oh Mithrun actually only has one eye, it's not just dramatic anime effect + hair flop? Hm. Should have a cool scar to make it clearer. I'm impressed with what depth perception he's shown, though, with the teleporting!

Obviously this does mean he ranks up in the Favorite Characters list.

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Kabru: Ooh nice strategy, manipulating all those people in order to manipulate that one person!

Kabru: Wait, right, I still don't like you.

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Yes! Yes! The Kabru's inner desires is OUT! He is impulsively risking this chance to prevent another Utaya - his stated goal, the obvious greater good, definitely very genuinely his primary focus - in favor of demanding the answers he WANTS, and the independence from long-lived elves.

YOU TELL 'EM, BUDDY! TAKE A STAND! BURN YOUR BRIDGES!!

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I appreciate that Mithrun isn't bad at this personal assessment thing.

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brb need to go chew a wall or something!

[qs63]

Hello, your previous post on State Alchemists really piqued my interest, thanks a lot for sharing that! Do we know more about the (annual?) exam they have to take to keep their license? For example, how does Roy keep his? Does he need to constantly innovate his alchemy?

Thank you, as always <3

Hello there!

There's sadly not a lot of information about this in canon. This paragraph from the first perfect guide is all we have in terms of an actual explanation:

To become a State Alchemist, you must pass four tests: written exam, practical exam, psychiatric evaluation, and interview. Furthermore, even after obtaining national qualifications, it is not possible to enjoy the benefits without doing anything. Once a year, candidates are required to undergo an assessment based on a report and practical skills, and if they do not receive a good evaluation, they may be disqualified. Research papers are often written using codes so that others cannot understand them.

So it's more of an annual evaluation rather than an exam, and all they're required to submit is a report. What they're required to report we don't know, but we have one mention of it in the manga:

So the report must not be too detailed and strict, otherwise Ed wouldn't get away with bullshiting it on a train ride. However, we do know the assessment itself is not a joke because of the whole Shou Tucker fiasco. So… how are Ed and Roy passing it so easily, and what are they reporting?

I discussed this with @scienceoftheidiot once and we concluded that the State Alchemist research probably works just like any public funded academic research in the real world. I'm not in academia, so I'll let you ask her how that works. In this scenario Roy and Ed would have to report every year that they have done research that's beneficial to the military.

HOWEVER.

There's a catch in the explanation from the perfect guide. They evaluate based on a report AND practical skills. The practical skills part is very important. We see Ed, Roy, and Armstrong constantly use their alchemy in combat for the benefit of the military. As I understand it, THIS is the practical use of alchemy, and it counts as part of their annual evaluation.

That means Roy, Ed, Armstrong, and all the other State Alchemists with combat expertise can get away with reporting a lot less than the theoretical alchemists like Marcoh and Shou Tucker. These last two can only prove their worth in knowledge, while the former can prove their worth with actions.

The most likely scenario here is that Roy and Ed are just reporting all the incidents where they helped the military with their alchemy (Liore, Youswell, the train terrorists, etc), as opposed to developing new alchemy research every year. That would explain how Ed can get away with writing the report on a train ride and why there's a CLEAR bias towards combat alchemy among the State Alchemists. It's just easier to keep the license with practical skills than with pure research.

Of course, Roy could choose to report any new alchemy research he develops (and canon does say he performs research and has notes. We just don't know the subject). But let's be honest… Why would he if he can get away with less? lol

I hope that answers your question! Thanks, this is always so much fun to write. 😁

[slavhew]

murdoc for character opinions

god. murdoc. im admittedly not deep in enough to hard assess my opinions from 2018 vs now, but let's give a quick run through.

i love murdoc. but he's also hard to talk about. so i think its best to jump forward to what i find most compelling about him: it's someone's capacity to grow and change even relatively late in life.

He has a start in life that, speeding over all of THAT, leaves him a very vapid, self centered and cruel person by the time the band becomes a thing. Bit by bit, tooth by pulled tooth, he learns to see things differently.

And this is where that "canon isn't real if i dont look at it"- the continued existence of gorillaz's storyline depends on there being an antagonist, and that is historically Murdoc's role. So a lot of that development will get retconned, glossed over, etc. I don't really blame JH for that anymore, that's just how these things often go with properties that have this kind of extended shelf life.

Murdoc is a person that distills all his hurt into anger, excuses his loneliness as being "by choice" and buries trauma under ego, posturing and hypersexual behavior. But as it is when you form bonds with people, tentative as they might be, they change you. Phase 3 is the climax of this, and phase 6 was both the """final""" relapse of his bad tendencies (post TNN cough) and the end of his arc with The Lost Chord.

THAT ALL BEING SAID, he's silly to me. I count all the material of him being Oddly Polite or giggly as canon whether it's Phil Cornwell breaking character or not.

Murdoc has two faces: one for the paps, and another for the fans. One crude and attention seeking, and a softer more relaxed one for when he ACTUALLY gets to discuss his interests and the music he makes. He plays the media like a fiddle, since having eyes on him is an old skill he's long since mastered.

My possible divergences from fanon at large? I haven't been in touch lately, but I remember some interpretations being popular that I disagree with, so I'll just state my takes:

He's not iredeemable or stupid or remorseless, he grows to care about his bandmates very early on but is VERY slow on the uptake of identifying that affection, and he's much smarter than he lets on. Also no beef to people who ship 2doc but man it is just not my cup of tea. They're coworkers slash fffrriiienndsss?? who needle each other constantly.

AS FOR HEADCANONS: very simple.

A lot of his stunts in the public eye are coordinated- when he said he refuses to get on the stage on other people's terms, this includes the paps. If he's going to be hated, he might as well do that with intention and style

That being said, it's also a self-made excuse to be a debaucherous asshole as well as how he justifies the overindulgence to himself.

Selling his soul had progressive effects on his appearance

green skin, pointy ears, pointier teeth. he used to wear a red contact. he doesn't have to anymore!

the red eyes would be bilateral but in phase 5 the eye injury resulted in anisocoria- bowie-esque. He isn't sure if this is another manifestation of his deal for musical success, or karma.

because of his reduced vision and MULTIPLE stints in prison he is jumpier than ever

he has an unibrow! the fringe hides it because it grows back too fast, and murdoc is vain.

he used to have a fuller face, but as of phase 2 the stardom (drugs, poor self-care) started affecting his appearance. Phase 3 was even more brutal in terms of this. by the time phase 4 rolled around and he got clean, the buccal fat was gone for good, courtesy of plain aging!

short, skinny and not in the healthy way. again, phase 1-2 sees him develop a beer gut under xylophone ribs, phase 3 he's at his worst health-wise. Phase 4 and 6 see him put some real padding on, finally. (5 is a step back due to incarceration)

phase 5 issss fiiiineee... but i prefer respect-false-iconz (aka ezracaution)'s canon divergent exploration of it, The Code

lastly: projection? brother that's the bisexuality, shortness, edginess for show and anger issues. that's just text.