#cockles discord

[the-rollerchloster]

Found in my notes app, and no less relevant now than when I blathered it to no one back then...

Me, a small-ish discord server owner, reading the notes on this post like: 🤔🤔 these are all valid concerns, but maybe y’all just haven’t found the right home.

My thoughts on tumblr vs discord in the fandom space is that they’re not a one or other, they should be used to boost and enhance each other.

I will admit that I have been burnt by big servers before, and I have landed in a few more that have immediately overwhelmed me and made me nope out, but I have also had some amazing conversations with people I never would have reached out to before if I’d only been following them on tumblr.

When I created @sunshineshellers I had a very clear goal. I saw a gap in the cockles/destiel corner of the spn fandom for people who needed to be able to talk freely without fear of judgement. Screaming into the void of tumblr (as so many of us with less than 200 followers do) isn’t always enough to satiate a full blown fandom spiral. It’s nice to have somewhere where you can say “is this something…?” and actually get a response, but so many spn servers sweep cockles into a dusty corner, which makes people who perceive feel like dirty little outcasts.

I love tumblr, I love spnblr, and it’s great for big brain thoughts like this, and for finding and sharing so many beautiful creations, and for collective meltdowns when something noteworthy comes to light.

But some of *my* best “content” comes to me inside the group chatter of my pocket family. A community of people who Get It is a treasured commodity in this life that can look like a hodge-podge group of people from all over the world coming together to scream incoherently about our shared love of Supernatural. We don’t agree all the time, but that’s okay because we care about each other because we understand the passion and love having somewhere that makes fandom feel less empty.

I’m not saying all this to convince you to join my server and say you must love discord cos I do. I’m saying this just to point out that much like you curate your tumblr dash to your personal preferences, you curate your discord experience to your personal preferences too, and there could be a whole corner of this community just waiting to hear your thoughts if only you’d give them a chance. 💖

[sunshineshellers]

Happy 2nd birthday to my fave internet family!! 🥳🧁🍾

TWO YEARS!! Somehow it feels like there’s no way it’s been that long, but I also can’t remember having this home in my pocket.

Here’s to many more shenanigans to come!

[blanketforcas]

hiii (gayly) okay so i'd been thinking about making a more tumblr-focused (medium sized) discord server for us destiel folks looking for cummunity, cause i keep seeing posts that are asking for this. and so i made one! trying to keep it lowkey tho so it's invite-only, but there's not a lot of people yet so i still have a lot of "spots" available lol

shoot me a dm if you want a link! i don't bite* ❤️

if this post is unrebloggable it means we're not accepting new members atm

important info:

this server is 18+

it's also rpf friendly (eg dedicated channel for cockles)

chill vibes, not gossip-friendly wrt other fans

*only upon request

[chaosmisha-art]

'It's still you' Dedicated to my lovely friends from the Cockles HQ Discord server. We've been together almost 3 years now and I couldn't be more grateful <3 Please do not edit or steal without permission 😘

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[viridiave]

O Great and Powerful Viri I'm back again with flower language requests. I'm writing a drabble for Miguel/Darius and flowers are involved. Am unsure how yet, but would it be possible to give me a few flowers that describe them? If possible, some for Miguel, some for Darius, and some for both? 🥺🥺🥺🥺pls?

Heya Zazu! No praise necessary aksjak I might die before I can get to answer this question properly

To tell you the truth this was a challenge to put together because the Language of Flowers generally deals in sweetness and virtue so the ratio of good flowers to flowers that I would actually use to describe Miguel and Darius is like. 9:1. Plus I'm not overwhelmingly familiar with how this relationship tends to be portrayed outside of like. the Discord exchange we had a couple years ago - but I tried my best, so buckle down for the list I managed to cobble together from going through my dictionaries

MIGUEL Trying to look for flowers for a guy that's really more of a narrative tool than a character was tough. I'm not familiar with your game but this was the fanciest I could manage.

Anchusa - Falsehood Anemone - Forsaken Nettle - Cruelty Evening Primrose - Inconstancy

DARIUS Now Darius is a little easier and it did surprise me that at least in terms of what we actually see of him in-game, he has traits that can distinguish him enough from Miguel that I can compile a further list.

Adder's Tongue - Jealousy Corn-cockle - Peerless and proud Bramble - Envy Brunfelsia - Beware of false friends Calliopsis - Vanity Heath - Solitude Hollyhock - Ambition

If this looks a bit barren to you, don't worry - I took the liberty of gathering other flowers that could be used to describe them both because they have a NUMBER of overlapping themes, though I'm not sure how well they can fit into your vision:

Aloe - Bitterness and pain Aspen - Lamentation Bay leaf - I change but in death Bilberry - Treachery Narcissus - Egotism Darnel - Vice Tamarisk - Crime

And now as for the list that'll accommodate them being a couple, I've actually got a couple here that MIGHT help? Lemme try to do what I did with the Eisenbright list real quick:

All is not gold that glistens (Bartonia aurea), but riches (California Poppy) tempt (Quince) me all the same. It is a dangerous pleasure (Tuberose) to pursue its luster, but in my world there is little else to cling to (Monkshood, Misantrophy / Scabiosa, I have lost all). By hook or by crook (Argemone), glory will be mine (Laurel).

There is no unalloyed good in this world (Lapageria). You and I, at the bottom of the world - buried in delusions of rare worth (Achimines). You understand this intoxication (Heliotrope) better than anyone.

In the dead of night (Catchfly), cling to me (Chickweed).

Lemme know if none of this fits what you had in mind lmao I don't have 20/20 vision on this pair at ALL

[ariaste]

Hi! I absolutely adore your work. I ended up buying a hardcover copy of Running Close to the Wind for two reasons 1) I loved it and needed it forever and 2) I wanted my parents to read it. After all, a physical book is easier to loan.

I gave my dad a couple of Very Serious Non-Fiction Books for Christmas and he was having a hard time with one of them. He needed something lighter as a palate cleanser to help him balance things out. Cue me with Avra to the rescue!

He loved it. He gleefully kept me updated on his progress throughout the narrative. His smile as he talked about it warmed the cockles of my heart.

We'll get my mom to read it eventually.

For now, thank you for your delightful stories. And thank you for writing the tale I could happily share with my dad. Just. Thanks.

Aw, thank you so much! I used to share books with my dad too (he passed away about ten years ago) so I'm glad to hear that RCW was something you could share with him too. <3 That is so wonderful!!!

(Side note but if you'd like some other people to talk to about the books as well, there is an official fandom discord server linked on my website! :D)

[jackhkeynes]

13th Lexember - Borlish

zizania "discord"

zizania /ˌzi.zaˈnja/ [ˌzi.zɐˈnja]

discord, disharmony, dissonance, cacophony, a harsh combination of sounds;

discord, tension, strife, dissension, arguing, lack of agreement of harmony between people;

anguish, distress, angst, inner conflict;

temptation, spite, vice, sin, feeling drawn to doing wicked things

Etymology: seventeenth-century borrowing from Lombard zizania "ryegrass, weed; discord, vice", which displays a metaphorical extension dating back to its ancestor in Late Latin zizanium "cockle, ryegrass, darnel; vice", a borrowing from Greek. Its modern association with cacophonous noise is probably due to sound symbolism.

Nos oyau zizania dereðr dy mur dy rajognoir. /nɔz oˈjo ˌzi.zaˈnja deˈrɛðr̩ di mɪr di ˌra.ʒɔiˈnɔir/ [nɔz ʊˈʝo ˌzi.zɐˈnja dɪˈʀɛ.ðɐ di mɪː di ˌʀa.ʝʊiˈnɔ.jɐ] 1p hear-ipf.1p discord behind of-df wall of-df boardroom We heard arguing through the boardroom's wall.

[cocksley-and-catapult]

PLEAASEE make a discord server im begging you cockle and catter

[lightofraye]

An Open Letter

Hello Danneel,

I suppose it had to happen, right? A “letter” to you. After all, I’ve written two to your husband. I had been pondering this for some time. I imagine your “stans” believe that I dislike you because you’re in a position that I wish to be in—the woman married to Jensen Ackles.

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

See… when my life became chaotic and I lost track of a number of my favorite celebrities’ work and career, I became unaware that Jensen moved onto different shows, eventually settling in Supernatural for fifteen years.

By the time my life arranged itself in a way that I could begin to track down information—some easy to find, some next to impossible—I learned of the tail end of Supernatural. However, my provider was being ornery and refused to carry CW. So I just let it go.

My family, my life, was my primary focus for a time. Then I found a good internet provider, dropped my satellite provider, and began adding streamers. That’s when I came across The Boys. Then Big Sky. Then Supernatural on Netflix.

I became a new-old fan. I remembered Jensen on Days of Our Lives, after all. I remembered talking about him with one of my best friends. I remember talking about his unusual name—Jensen. And I remember talking about his acting.

Then I saw you. Longtime married, three kids. All the news articles kept raving about how great you two were. I saw the older videos of you two together, that livestream with Misha in the Impala….

I felt the sting, just a bit, of what I assumed was jealousy. I sighed, set it aside. I would follow Jensen’s work, I told myself. Jared’s too. Others that I admired. Just added to the list.

Something kept bothering me. I kept going back to it. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the problem. Mere jealousy couldn’t be it. I’ve had that sting before, grew past it. (Henry Cavill, anyone?) So why couldn’t I get past this?

It was pure happenstance, me coming to Tumblr. I was feeling very dissatisfied with Facebook, didn’t like Twitter. Reddit was not my thing. There were other, smaller, options, but damn if I didn’t keep coming back to Tumblr, largely because of the hilarious memes I’d see snipped and shared.

Why not? I told myself.

Let’s see how it goes. Signed up, picked a few areas of interest and I was off.

Boy, was I off.

Discovering the subsections of the fandom left me reeling. Destiel? Where the hell did they come up with that? Wincest? Yikes. And then—

Tinhat?!

COCKLES?!

Needless to say, it was… phew. I found a few I liked and focused on them. Then someone mentioned YOU. I rolled my eyes; you hadn’t been active in acting other than a few teeny-tiny but parts. What could they possibly say about YOU?

Then I read the post. And another. And another. I would spent a good few weeks carefully devouring everything I read. There’s so much, I may never cover it all. But I saw enough.

I would fact-check as best I could. Some were completely lost. The Wayback Machine could only do so much. Not everyone saved the sources. 

But I saw enough.

Then I sat back and it CLICKED. It wasn’t jealousy that waved hello to me. It was the personality traits, the behavior, the way you spoke to him, that all matched what I knew and learned in my several decades of life.

You are insecure.

You lack confidence.

You lack any outside interests.

You are unsupportive.

You care for nothing and no one outside of money. Oh, you have your children—you just don’t care about them. You have your husband—all you see are dollar signs.

There is no love. There is nothing genuinely GOOD in how you view Jensen. You don’t want him home; you push him out. All you want is the constant stream of income.

I see what you’ve done. All the acting in the world wouldn’t change the rest—you’ve an empty heart, a black soul.

Let him go, Danneel.

That’s my best advice to you. Let him go. Get some therapy and grow as a person.

Maybe then you could actually like the person you see the mirror.

In discordant tunes, Raye

[the-rollerchloster]

Parasocial relationships are strange. Parasocial relationships in a fandom like this one can be even stranger.

I want to preface this by saying that everyone is entitled to their feelings, and feelings are sometimes completely irrational. I am also aware that sometimes our feelings are driven by incomplete thoughts, and have a tendency to overwhelm us and those around us before we can process them. In saying that, I have seen a lot of conflicting emotions and reactions to the reveal that Misha Collins has a "serious" girlfriend (and a large cock apparently, but that is a whole other thing), and I know I shouldn't be surprised by it, but part of me is.

There was a conversation in my discord server over the complicated feelings people have about this news. As a cockles-friendly space this was to be expected, as any new development in the lives of either half of JenMish often spurs these kinds of conversations, but as it started to get emotional I was thanked for bringing some perspective. I hope that I can help anyone who also needs a different way of viewing this situation by making this post, while also helping myself to organise my own chaotic and complicated thoughts.

As I understand it, during the It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time event at this weekend's Burbank convention, Misha told a fun anecdote about gift-giving with his new girlfriend and her daughter, wherein Misha got some things delivered to said girlfriend directly from Amazon, and girlfriend wrapped them for the daughter including what she thought was a microphone but was actually another similarly shaped item not intended for children at all. He continued to say that this "microphone" was for his girlfriend so she wouldn't need to go searching elsewhere for intimacy, as they are currently living in separate states. Now, I was not at the event, and the lack of recordings (recording was strictly prohibited, so if you've got one shame on you, I don't want to know about it!) means that everything I will ever know about this story and the way it was told to the small audience who were lucky enough to be able to attend this event comes as a form of the Telephone game, and therefore lacks a whole lot of body language, tone and context. We, as a fandom, have been severely burnt by this kind of missing nuance before - think DenverCon'21 - and it's these kinds of kneejerk reactions that have the potential to spiral out of control and limit the things we get told at future events - think bishagate.

Think for a second about your personal perception of Misha Collins. He's chaotic, he can be a little self-deprecating or self-effacing, he likes to turn serious anecdotes into jokes. He is also a passionate and caring man, who has a lot of respect and appreciation for his fans. Think about the way he tells anecdotes at standard con panels - it's often a bit tongue-in-cheek, a bit sarcastic, a bit exaggerated - so why would his behaviour at this event, which was specifically set up for Misha to tell stories he wouldn't normally have the space to do in a convention setting, be any different?

I am going to go through my thoughts on some of the things I have seen mentioned about what this all means…

First off, the elephant in the room, what does this mean for Cockles? To me, absolutely nothing. Whatever Jensen and Misha have going on completely transcends a standard sexual and/or romantic relationship. Misha was in his relationship with Vicki for the majority of his life, including when he met Jensen, and we all know she literally wrote a book on polyamory; his perception of relationships is literally shaped and moulded by this, and it's not something he's going to just switch off. Danneel has been a permanent fixture in the cockles dynamic this entire time as well. The JenMish panel at Burbank this weekend will hopefully alleviate any of the doubt anyone is having here, and give us some knowledge that regardless of how Misha defines his relationship status, things will continue in the same chaotic, loving and ridiculous nature we've become accustomed to.

Which segues nicely into the implication that the vibrator was purchased so she wouldn't stray, and therefore their relationship is monogamous. See above thoughts about tongue-in-cheek, exaggerated and self-effacing - when I imagine him telling this story, I see that cheeky, gummy grin going the whole time. Without the nuance of watching this unfold, I think we are all safest to assume that this was a joke, not a firm declaration that he has left his polyamorous attitudes behind.

On thoughts of him "moving on too soon" from his marriage and subsequent divorce, this is where my own feelings get complicated as well, but also where we need to remember that the key feature of a parasocial relationship is that we only see and know what he wants us to. We don't actually know what the trigger for that dissolution was, so in terms of the actual calendar timing it might seem soon, but emotional development and change doesn't run on a standard calendar. We don't know how long the process was before the decision was made to separate. I am currently working through a messy separation, and while I can pinpoint the decision to somewhere in the past 6-12 months, my marriage has realistically been dead for 3+ years, and we're a (supposedly) monogamous couple. As a poly couple, I can imagine that Misha and Vicki worked through every alternative option possible before landing on the decision to formally separate, and had probably well and truly been through the mourning period before it was even all over. Adult relationships are complex at the best of times, and no one ever truly knows what is happening in them except the people involved. I also think that as a man who is nearing 50 and just come out of very long term relationship, that he doesn't actually know how to be "alone", nor does he want to…

Lastly, for some of us, this is someone important in our lives who has found happiness in another person when perhaps we don't have that for ourselves. When those feelings hit, they can be extremely disheartening, and I want to send all my loving thoughts to anyone who falls into this category. It's difficult when the envy turns your stomach in knots and then your thoughts spiral into all the things wrong that mean that no matter how much you want to you can't just be happy for someone. Love and life are complicated, human beings are complicated, society is complicated. There is this hugely widespread and toxic mentality that we are all raised on that says we are halves of something that is destined to find our other half in order to feel whole, and it's utter bullshit. We shouldn't need one singular significant other to feel complete, and sometimes we get so determined to find that someone that we end up sacrificing ourselves to make them fit. (see also; Daniel Sloss' thoughts on this subject in his stand-up special Jigsaw)

There are many different kinds of love, many different kinds of relationships, and many different kinds of people. If anyone proves that to us, it's Misha Collins. He is walking evidence that human life is chaotic and unpredictable and indeterminate and we can make our own fucking rules. I hope that we can collectively be respectful of him, no matter what (or who) he chooses, and feel grateful for everything he trusts us enough to share.

[sunshineshellers]

Holy crap... we've nearly been open for TWO YEARS so the note above about being "quite new" is all a load of bullshit... but otherwise this post actually holds up pretty well.

I've recently done a member list cull to remove the people who only introduced themselves and haven't otherwise indicated they wanted to stick around, so now is actually a good time to join (or rejoin). This space is meant for anyone and everyone who wants to be part of it.

🚨💙CALLING ALL UNHINGED COCKLES SHIPPERS!!!💚🚨

If you are...

looking for a space to meet some fun, albeit weird, new friends...

a lover of all things JenMish, DeanCas, and the extended Supernatural universe...

okay with innuendo and adults only conversation...

in need of somewhere to participate in fandom that doesn't take itself too seriously...

...then Sunshine Shellers on Discord might be the space for you!

About us...

We are a relatively small server with a mixture of active, semi-active and intrigued but lurking members.

As we are still quite new things are constantly evolving, but we have a lot of playful fun together as we get to know each other.

We help each other brainstorm ideas, find specific moments in both cockles and destiel history, and analyse meta.

We encourage each other to keep trying new things.

While it can be a bit scary to jump in to these kinds of online communities, when you dive in to our little corner of the dumpster, we promise not to bite! (unless you're into that sort of thing... 😏)

Our space is designed to be:

Cockles friendly - it's in the name, we're shellers... we're not going to hide in a specific RPF channel to talk about the basics of the JenMish relationship.

Actor and show positive - no outright hatred of cast/crew/episodes/arcs/etc. Constructive criticism is fine, but personal attacks are not. That being said, we all have a certain someone in mind when I say "his behaviour is not compatible with being well-liked".

For adults (18+) only - we don't censor swear words and innuendo flies everywhere. It's all in good fun.

When you join (you're going to, right?) you will need to:

Accept the rules (basically seven variations on Don't Be A Dick)

Introduce yourself

Become part of our little family, we'd love to have you. 💙💚

If you want to know more or you're having any trouble, please send an ask or DM. I'm here to help.

Lots of love, Chloe 💖 (@the-rollerchloster)

NB: cast-positive does not always include a certain tactless moose.

[blanketforcas]

had a conversation with someone and now i'm wondering

*i know in cockles fandom (you can also vote if you're into a different real person ship btw) we tend to not see the basic "i think it's very likely they're a real couple" as tinhatting, but for the sake of this poll i use it in the more traditional sense

**this can be on discord/any kind of chat on or offline/tumblr/social media etc

[mishacolinsackles]

Is there a Cockles Discord group?

I have no freaking idea but honestly after coming into this fandom and understanding there are different levels to ship Cockles, and how much drama happens, having a chatroom will become a pretty bad idea because there will be blocked people one after another. It's not ideal but this is my opinion.

[loucifersbitch]

... a Tommy discord?????

Will my soul be enough for entry?

I'm djchskxhxkx

I hate to break it to you, but it's actually a Cockles rps server 😅 We just also have a 9-1-1 side thread because so many of us are in this fandom as well

[pooopopop]

You said in one of your posts that Misha used Jensen and destiel to promote bridgewater and gotham knights every single week. Could you give specific examples?

This one started a running joke:

Bonus, another roadfood:

I remember more from them but it’s probably lost to time, between Instagram stories and broken quote tweets from deleted posts or deleted accounts. He usually made a Cas/Destiel/SPNfamily before every tweet advertising the newest episode.

Continued, Gotham Knights:

(He was on Today promoting the premiere of GK, On Instagram he used Jensen as the cover https://www.instagram.com/p/CpvZ6p-vWzj/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==)

I don’t think it’s fair to post every time he used the salute to supernatural conventions to promote it- bc you were only asking about Jensen and Destiel. I sort of count using Jaistiel to promote GK though; they were a popular “big name fan” on tiktok and then Twitter, active GISH participant who ran the unofficial GISH discord server, went to many conventions and interacted with Misha and the other cast many times. Jai was the one in the infamous bishagate video who shouted “you never raised your hand!”, and had Jensen and Misha to sign a destiel plate for them the same day. some more links 1. 2. 3. And even after that fiasco, Jai was still alma truthing publicly, so I’ll say that sharing their video can be included in this montage since they are a cockles tinhatter and he’s very much aware- their praise

in this video probably meant a lot to him like it was reassurance that he’d atoned for his fan service sins. When trying to fetch these tweets I was reminded that he actually did it twice LMAO

Cont. GK, he got a lot of mileage out of saying Jensen was supposed to be involved https://www.tvinsider.com/1095234/misha-collins-supernatural-gotham-knights-cast/

more tweets

And there’s probably a lot I’m missing but this post has taken so much effort already 🥳

[theyarebothgunshot]

hi, I know this is a weird question, but are there any group chats about cockles or destiel? I really need to talk to someone. not necessarily on these topics, but spn has been my comfort show for the last few months

not weird at all! i know there are multiple groups on discord but i am not in one of those, i don't really do discord myself. but maybe other people will see this and comment with links? worth a shot!