#cobra narrator

[dragonswhomstyeet]

So I drew the Narrorator

Narrerator

…narrororator

Narorrator

Narrorowrwter

Narrror-

The guy, from Stanley parable. But as sexy cobra man thing I guess.

[abushelandablog]

The way he looks at her here after Daniel came out all covered in the gender reveal paint.. yea when they’re of the appropriate/ financially and emotionally mature and stable age she’s so having his kiddo 😂❤️

[wicked-jade]

@allvalley100 Another one for the Aftercare prompt. Johnny/Lyle. This took an unexpectedly angsty turn. Oh well. It had to happen eventually, right?

Johnny was still trying to catch his breath when a t-shirt smacked him in the face.

“What the…?!” He yelped, muscles protesting as he tried to sit up.

He wasn’t as limber as he used to be. Not that he’d ever admit it.

“My kids’ll be here in 30 minutes,” Lyle muttered distractedly, tossing the rest of Johnny’s clothes on the bed.

“But…”

“But nothing. You’ll never meet them, remember?”

Johnny got dressed and left without another word. He knew what this thing was. He’d never expected cuddles or any of that girly bullshit.

He didn’t need it.

He didn’t.

[weirdbabs]

as someone who got into one piece when they were twelve and has rewatched/reread thru it multiple times, and every time i saw sauls death i went “okay but are we sure hes actually dead?” before remembering it was a flashback and therefore oda had no reason to reveal he was actually alive only to be vindicated 15!!! years later, garp being shown frozen and impaled and smiling as he “dies” doesnt mean i think hes dead

[unloneliest]

taboo iv the homecoming fans you are so right. doing research for my water/transpo essay and you're literally so right.

[yetanotherlesbianonthiswebsite]

An overly complicated analysis of everything we know about Neve Gallus in canon, as well as some additional thoughts of mine on the themes surrounding her (because I am so gay for her already)

1. Canon information

- Her age is, as of yet, unknown. In the Tevinter Nights story The Streets of Minrathous, narrated in the first-person perspective by Neve, we read “He greeted me with a dismissive ‘young lady’ that made me think he’d forgotten my name” (216). However, this is a description by an older man, whose nephew is alive long enough that his “parents had disowned him years ago” (213). In another passage of the story, the following can be read: “The man was a con artist I’d turned in the year before. To be fair, he’d nearly gotten me killed the year before that, so we were even” (221). We can therefore be certain that she has engaged successfully in detective work for at least two years, and has likely been doing so for a while. We do not know when the story is set, neither do we know anything about the parallel stories of “The Wigmaker Job” and “Luck in the Gardens”. We get the information that a Venatori cultist was wearing clothes that are fading (220), and that the cult had long since lost much standing in society; it has likely been quite a number of years since 9:42. At the same time, we know of a Qunari invasion in the eastern part of the Tevinter Empire from 9:44/45 onward, with several major cities falling to the invaders. Neve describes the catacombs as “a place to hold a year’s worth of food and supplies, securing the city’s survival in case of blight or Qunari invasion” (232). A woman as observant and politically savvy as her would likely not frame an invasion as that much of a hypothetical in case of an ongoing war. It is reasonable to assume that the story takes place sometime around the middle of the forties. Which means that by the events of Veilguard, in the middle of the fifties, we should expect Neve to have had at least twelve years of experience as a private investigator, which places her likely age at minimum in the early thirties. (Not that I am hoping for anything 40 or upward, no, there is no MILF agenda here)

- She describes the manor of a rich man as “a residence nowhere near the third-rate bookseller where I rent a room” (216), locating her residence both outside of the rich parts of town, and informing us that she does not have the greatest of means.

- Likewise, we learn that her “family has more templars than mages. I’m sure that says a lot about me. The point is, I’m not from an old family and I felt as at home in Lady Varantus’s house as Jahvis looked” (218). Within the rigid social hierarchies of Tevinter, she is privileged by magehood, but not by blood. To the degree that Tevene social classes can be broken down so neatly into stratified categories, she seems to be somewhere in the lower ranks of the middle class.

- She is canonically disabled; an amputee wearing a prosthetic leg made of dwarven metal (215). In the comic The Missing #4, we see her prosthetic, it is designed as a cobra standing up in intimidation of an attacker, and the metal seems to be predominantly a bronze or gold with blue or silver accents (6). On her foot on the other leg, she is wearing a boot which has a bronze or gold tip symmetrical to the tail of the cobra, and a high plattformed heel (ibid). Combining that with the fact that she fights and runs with a prosthetic and a heeled boot (TSoM 215, TM4 16), we learn that she expresses immense control over her body.

- Likewise, she approaches all her actions, her appearance, and her communication verbal and physical with a high degree of precision and deliberation. Her outfit is perfectly composed, with white and dark leather as primary colours, the same blue-gold metal that her prosthetic is made out of for accents as well as her belt (which is a coiling snake, TM4 6), a dark turquiose for some of the cloth (such as pants and cravat), a light turquiose for such accents as her fingernails and her meticulously applied eyeliner, and some manner of cap akin to a graduation cap at the right side of her head, in an almost black brown, with gold details. The shape of the cap has the exact same angles as a rhombus as her earrings (TM4 9). The detail on the cap forms a snake. It has been posited by tumblr user @cleric4vampire that even her movement in the trailer reinforces the cobra/snake motive (https://www.tumblr.com/cleric4vampire/752850000700194816). Despite sometimes excrutiatingly long workdays (223), Neve puts an extreme amount of emphasis on her appearance. Even in the comic, while the style does feature very dynamic character movements while talking, her gestures stick out as particularly deliberate; she talks with her hands a lot, and with deliberation (see the appendix of this post for more). This speaks to a plethora of willpower, control, and a desire to maintain a controlled barrier between the self and the larger world.

- While writing this, I have come up with the theory that the blue accents of her apparell might partially be lyrium. If she is literally wearing lyrium makeup, I will marry her.

- The only two offensive types of magic that we see her use are ice magic (e.g. TSoM 226, 227, 235, TM4 16, 17), and a manner of magic that lets her freeze the moisture in the air around a person to stagger them (e.g. TSoM 214, TM4 17). Through cooling the air around herself a bit less, she manages to hide herself in mist (e.g. TSoM 214). She is capable of some healing magic (227).

- She has a network of contacts, acquaintances, and informants all over Minrathous, particularly in its underground.

- She loves salty fried fish (221). This is not only in line with Minrathous being a coastal capital, which has a distinct influence on the caloric inflow into the city and cuisine at large, but also, once again, stresses that she does not have much money at her disposal, by emphasizing that she eats fried fish from a cheap street food stall very regularly (221), which she calls her “fish dinners” (228).

- She canonically has straight dark brown hair, meticulously kept at the left side of her face to keep space for the cap on the right, brown eyes, and brown skin. It is furthermore canon that anyone who has a problem with that or wishes to change that with mods will be exploded via elemental magic. It is furthermore canon that I will not buy Veilguard if the game whitewashes her.

- She is involved with the Shadow Dragons in helping fugitive slaves (TM4 9, 20). She expressly approves of the use of armed violence against the institution of slavery. At one point, she comments: “The cult’s dead god wanted to bring Tevinter back to what it was—to its “glory.” It was nonsense, of course. It always was. The old empire was even more corrupt and heartless than what it is now, no matter how pretty the picture Corypheus painted” (TSoM 221). In her vocal resistance to the empire, she sees it as a good usage of her time to track down Venatori (214). In spite of her resistance against the empire, she considers the city her home and would like it to be better than it is (214, 221).

2. Themes: The noir detective and the empire

It goes without saying that the formational archetype behind the character of Neve Gallus is that of the noir detective. A solipsistic cynic with little means, a private investigator, called to investigate a crime scene in dance with and against the police, depending on the point of the story. The noir detective of the movies of the first half of the 20th century, the formational corpus from which stems the archetype, is distinctly tied to the metropolis; a story that needs the urban context, the urban scenery. While of course featuring a plentitude of settings and configurations, at the root of the archetype rest particularly a white, male, US-American figure. To bring Minrathous in parallel with New York particularly is in so far a welcome change as it means a partial departure from the orientalism underlying a lot of early descriptions of Tevinter in Dragon Age canon. But, to me at least, it raises the question of how well Dragon Age is equipped to tackle the arising thematic implications. Just like the Tevinter Empire, the United States of America is a slave society fueled by the deprivation of Indigenous communities and the physical exploitation of a racialized, disenfanchised class. The metropolis is the core of the imperial core; and Minrathous is, as the largest city of Thedas and the capital of Tevinter, certainly that. The Streets of Minrathous manages but a partial critique of the society of the imperial-colonial metropolis. While Neve remains critical of the templars, the undeniable cop stand-in, the critique remains bound to corruption the higher one goes in the chain of command, as well as the bureaucracy (231). The story, in particular, follows the very dangerous trope commonly found in copaganda that the base-level officers should be allowed to disobey the chain of command and act on their own, particularly when it comes to the deployment of heavy weaponry (234). That the base-level officer is as much an agent of imperial violence as the top of the hierarchy, turning the systemic and depersonal violence of the system into concrete interpersonal violence, cannot be formulated by the text.

Furthermore, the Venatori, in their supremacist-fascistic death cult, remain cast in ableistic terms that deprive their ideology of systemic connectedness: “that didn’t stop remaining loyalists from acting delusional and stirring up trouble when the mood struck. That’s fanatics for you” (213). That fascism is but the logical conclusion of empire, particularly a weakened and collapsing empire, remains just as unacknowledged. And yet, what haunts the story is a profound sense of loneliness and alienation. A rich man estranged and alienated from his nephew because of his fear of social repercussions for the nephews behavior, said nephew dying while grasping to any semblance of connection he can (“He knew what came next. He was searching for whatever company he had left” 215), Neve facing the cultists in their hideout alone because the templar Rana does not want to breach protocoll, hell, even the Venatori preacher making a ridiculous figure, alone and ignored on his soapbox while the masses rush by him and shut him out of their attention; everyone is lonely, seperated by the dividing and isolating forces of the empire. The imperial metropolis condenses people, yet they are emotionally distanced from one another. Neve’s final action in the story is to return to the rich old man, explaining to him that his nephew was trying to be good after all; a post-mortem attempt to mend but one severed connection between humans. Her entire character is defined by the trajectory that comes from wandering almost aimlessly in a desperate attempt to escape the solipsistic nature of the empire. Her defining emotional conflict is with the reality of empire, as much as her status as a brown, disabled, bisexual woman clashes with the roots of the figure of the noir detective. We see by the time of The Missing #4 that she finds a sense of fulfillment in working with the Shadow Dragons for the slaves and against the slavers, which hints at a character arc from TSoM to TM4. As Varric correctly observes, she has a heart of gold (TM4 20), one which she hides behind a particularly controlled facade, as stern as beautiful. How well her character plays out in Veilguard hinges entirely on the stories limited ability to discuss empire in meaningful terms, and the story’s willingness to further explore her emotional arc suggested between TSoM and TM4. I am furthermore worried about how well a series known for its overt centrism can handle the nuances that make her character so great, as well as fearing the reaction by gamers[TM] to having a brown, female, disabled, bisexual detective.

3. Appendix: I am gay for the way she talks with her hands and body

TM4 9

TM4 9

TM4 5

TM4 10

TM4 14

TM4 19

[vivalas-vega]

I'm in the mood for something angsty... would you write something where Jake's partner is hospitalized for some reason? Feel free to explore it any way you want, I'm sure it'll be great!

this gave me the perfect opportunity to rework something I'd set aside for Jake and Cobra if any of you are readers of real friends :) (this was orig going to be how they confessed their feelings hehe)

add yourself to my taglist

“Break right, Phoenix, break right!” You yelled in your cockpit as you and members of your squad were engaged in a training mission… one rooted in showing a new class of Top Gun recruits what teamwork sounds like in the air but you were all having an off day. She broke right but a second too late, almost clipping into Jake who whizzed past her.

“Phoenix, what the fuck?” He shouted, temporarily wavering in the air before recovering,

“Sorry, sorry.” She mumbled and you sighed.

“Everyone on the ground, now.” You ordered. You weren't sure you had the authority to do that, but everyone was off their game and you figured it was the best thing to do to avoid disaster. As you began to descend a flock of birds came out of nowhere and you cursed as you tried to fly around them.

“Birdstrike,” you said, “right engine on fire, climbing, throttling back. Shutting off fuel to right engine, extinguishing fire,” you said, narrating everything you were doing to keep ATC informed.

“What’s going on?” you heard Bob in your ear and you ignored it as you focused on the task at hand.

“Fuck,” you said as alarms rang throughout the cockpit, “left engine is out, trying to restart.” Your chest felt tight as you furiously pressed buttons, “throttling up.”

“You’re on fire!” Phoenix shouted in your ears.

“Extinguishing left engine,” you said and you felt a sinking feeling as more warning lights popped up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered.

“Punch out.” You heard Jake in your ears and you shook your head though no one could see you. In his own jet he was hovering idly, watching as yours spun wildly out of control and he could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“God damn it, just- give me a minute,” you yelled, but all of your hail mary’s were coming up short, “hydraulic failure,” you said as you pulled up.

“Damn it, you can’t save it, punch out,” you heard him again, not even attempting to hide the panic in his voice that mirrored your own that was radiating throughout your body. Your jet started to veer off, starting a spiral directly for the bluffs ahead of you as everything became unresponsive. 

“Lost all controls, trying-”

“Eject now,” Phoenix yelled and you exhaled sharply, looking at the rapidly approaching hillside.

“Fuck, ejecting, ejecting!” you shouted, pulling up on the loops between your feet and gasping as the wind was knocked out of you. You desperately tried to get in a breath of air as you pulled your parachute cord but it was futile with a rather ungraceful collision with the ground below. You heard the sounds of a rescue chopper before you could even finish detangling yourself from all of your gear and once you were free you took a deep breath and counted to ten, naming things you could see out loud to ground you, needing to come down from the adrenaline high to properly assess if you’d been hurt or not.

“Trees, rocks, smoke from my damn jet, clouds in the sky…” you breathed, feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins begin to subside. As you began to calm down you stretched out your muscles, bouncing your weight between each foot and decided you were unharmed, spare a gash on your forehead that was oozing blood faster than you would have liked. You dug around in your pack, grabbing a pack of gauze and tearing it open to press against the wound as you waited. As your body came down from the high of a near death experience you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness no matter how hard you tried to hold on.

“I don’t understand what the hell she was doing,” Jake said as he paced outside of your hospital room with Rooster and Phoenix standing by and trying to figure out how to help.

“She thought she could save it, any one of us would have waited until the last second too,” Phoenix tried but Jake wasn’t having it.

“She could have died,” his voice cracked just as a nurse came out of your room to let him know you were asking for him.

“Hey, sweetheart…” he said, softly sitting on the edge of your bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a battered highway cone,” you groaned, trying to sit up but every bone in your body protested. “How long was I out?”

“Just a few hours… what the hell was that?”

“Birdstrike, thought I could save the engine,” you answered and you saw the disappointment in his face.

“You should have ejected as soon as it went out,” he replied.

“You know that’s not protocol, I had to at least try.”

“I don’t care about protocol! We can replace your jet, we can’t replace you,” he said, voice thick with emotion and you just smiled softly at him.

“I’m okay, Jake, really… just a few bumps and bruises.”

“And a concussion,” he pointed out and you grimaced… that’s why your head hurt so badly.

“It’ll heal,” you tried but he just shook his head. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“Yeah well, you almost weren’t so stop saying you’re fine,” he shot back and your eyes widened. “Because I’m not, and you shouldn’t be. I mean, what the fuck, sweetheart? Was I just supposed to be okay with watching you burn in?” you could tell he was trying his hardest not to yell, to still be gentle with you. “You don’t get to be reckless like that anymore.”

“Okay, honey,” you nodded, reaching up to cup his face.

“I’m serious, no more of that. I can’t- I can’t do that again, just watch you spin out of control. I can’t-”

“It’s okay, come here,” you said, pulling him down and wrapping your arms around him. “I understand, it’s okay.” 

“I’m supposed to be comforting you,” he mumbled against your chest and you laughed despite how much it hurt.

“That’s okay… through thick and thin, right?” you asked and he nodded as he sat up. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” he said looking into your eyes and you nodded.

“I promise,” you whispered, pulling him in for a kiss. “I love you, you big softie.”

“I love you, too.”

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

HEYY girl 💗 could I req a bam x fem reader where they’re enemies to lovers becuase y/n is just as reckless as he is?? Thank you 🫶

The Stuntgirl Rule

Bam breaks the one rule the crew all agreed on when they first added a girl to the group, which wouldn’t be as big of a deal if they didn’t hate each other. All this animosity builds and builds until Y/N finally figures out how to knock Bam down a peg.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

3.8k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, enemies to lovers, crude language, blood, snakes, misogyny, Madonna-Whore complex, injuries, hospitals, flirting, slut shaming, situationships

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I’ve come to find out I really do love writing for enemies to lovers pairings :) More than that, I got to do a lot of research for this fic with psychological complexes, especially (as the tags indicate) the Madonna-Whore complex!! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing XD I also experimented with making Bam a bit of an unreliable narrator in this one to wort of show his thought process better. I’ve been told my writing takes the asshole out of him but I’m pretty sure this fic put it right back in, so be warned! If you want an idea of the dynamic I was going for, the dynamic betwen Bam and Y/N reminded me a lot of this clip from the 2016 revival of the musical, Falsettos! Ah, my theater kid past…But thank you for the request and please keep sending more!!

Kneeling on the grass, you sat eye to eye with the King Cobra you somehow got a permit to film with. The whole “Kiss of Death” stunt got shuffled around to a couple of the other guys before it landed on you but hell, you couldn’t complain- dangerous shit was kinda your thing, and otherwise the next person in line would’ve been Bam and you knew exactly how that would turn out- the yelling, the laughing, the storming off set. All the guys stood around, looming over you with bated breaths as you slowly leaned over the snake, the hot Florida sun beating down on your skin as the air swam with anticipation. But as you were creeping in, right before your lips made contact with the Cobra’s forehead, the thing lunged at your neck. Everybody hooted and hollered as you grabbed the snake and lurched back in an act of quick reflexes, chuckling in surprise, but before you could crack some wise ass joke, your cockiness betrayed you and that smug grin on your face was wiped right off your face when you felt a pair of fangs sink into your wrist. “Agh! Fuck…” Yanking your hand back, you shook out the sting as you stumbled to your feet. Steve, who was serving as impromptu cameraman after Rick ‘refused any part in your dangerous bullshit’, focused the lense in on the blood that was tricking from your arm, “Shit…that’s gnarly, dude.” Though you probably should have been concerned for yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it looked as Johnny patted you on the back appreciatively, “That was great, Y/N!”

As you were getting walked to the medic tent, the only one who didn’t want any part in your little victory parade was Bam, still sitting half slumped back on set, glaring at you as you walked away. Big whoop, girl gets bit by snake. Last week he got on a teeter totter in the bullpen and you don’t see that on any headlines. Maybe he hated the way the guys talked and joked with you like you were one of them even though you joined the Jackass cast less than a month ago. On the other hand, maybe he was still pissed off by the very real but entirely unspoken ‘Don’t Fuck the Stuntgirl’ rule. Of course Bam brought that sorta thing up when you first joined because he’ll there’s a lot you can do once you’ve got a chick in your group, but Johnny quickly shut the idea now by saying since they wouldn’t screw any of the other guys in the crew, they’d be keeping their hands off of you. Keeps things from getting awkward when you gotta see eachother on Monday, you know? But since Bam’s running theory of you only having gotten on set after getting into Knoxville’s pants hadn’t been disproven, he wrote it off as him making the whole thing up to keep the pretty girl all to himself. Greedy asshole. Who was he to say what he could and couldn’t stick his dick into? God, he bet the whole crew was passing you around- behind trailers, in empty hotel rooms, or what about those porta-potties on set…Bam decided to stop thinking about that once some things got stirred in his mind he didn’t really want to think about too long.

Getting bandaged up in the medic tent, you hardly noticed when Bam walked in after everybody left, watching quietly and scanning you up and down from where he stood. He looked from the bruises on your knees Bam was sure he knew the source of, to your baggy clothes that always made you look like a guy with the way they sat on your body, to your hair that was unkempt and showed just how little you cared about your appearance in his eyes. You were the exact opposite of Bam’s type in women- that dark lipstick tight bootcut fantasy goth chick with a great ass that also wasn’t a bitch. Looking up from where you were bleeding through your gauze, you made eye contact with him nonchalantly, “What is it?” Bam’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone in your voice but he kept up the whole smug thing, “You cryin’?” The medic had to scoot out of the way as you leaned in towards him and squinted at the realization that Bam was getting that whole ‘hating you’ stick up his ass again. “Does it look like I’m crying?” Part of him wanted to see you cry. Bam’s eyes drifted back to your hair, thinking about how satisfying it would be to grab a handful of it and yank you to your feet with his lips pressed tight against your ear as he said every awful word he was too nice to say to your face- that he knew everything about nasty hoes like you worked, and while it was cute how quickly the guys took to you, he was getting pretty damn sick of it so it was time for you to get the hint and hit the road. But he didn’t.

The medic passed you a container of pills that you palmed and that’s when Bam got an idea, “That snake oughta be on antibiotics instead’a you.” Scoffing at his unoriginal joke, you cocked your head to the side, “Really? You think a little blood’s that nasty? Y’damn baby…” Outside the tent, there was no doubt amongst the guys that another one of your petty fights were starting and nobody was looking forward to it. Well, except you. You found the little bickering thing you had with him fun, especially with all the weak ass insults Bam threw at you. “I mean, anything that comes outta you’s nastier than whatever Steve-O’s got goin’ on in him- that guy’s a disease nest.” This was too easy. “Yeah, says the guy who let him tongue his ass wound...” Wait, you were at that party too- the one where Steve popped ecstasy and went around kissing everyone cause he ‘felt good’? Bam’s jaw clenched at the way you always had an answer to him- how dare you one up him. He jabbed a finger at your chest, “Oh, don’t talk that shit. You wouldn’t even have the balls to get branded in the first place!” Unable to help yourself from cracking a smile, your giddiness was apparent in your voice, “I got more balls than you do.” As much as you hated how much of a little bitch he could be, you always thought the back and forth thing you had between him wasn't ever that serious (a contrast to the way Bam viewed it). Delight filled you as he stormed out of the flap of the white medical tent, blushing and emasculated and- while he would never admit this, kind of turned on by the angry banter like it was some kinda foreplay.

You needed soap. That’s how it started- after shooting one day, you went back to the hotel and noticed halfway through your shower that the room service lady forgot to leave any of those tiny complimentary soaps. Groaning, you got out of the comfortable, warm, sorely needed shower and put on a towel, thinking you could go next door and get some from the guys. It’s not like you hadn’t seen them naked before, so them seeing you in a towel was no big deal. Water dripped off of your legs as you walked out into the hallway, pushing open the door to their room which was left unlocked. From what you could tell, they had gone to the hotel bar promptly after filming, so you didn’t bother to announce your presence as you walked in. However, you had one major oversight in this- Bam, who you didn’t notice from where he was sitting on one of the beds on the near side of the room. Now, you and him could have gone on just hating and fucking with each other and everything would’ve been fine, but this one incident would change it.

From where he sat on the bed, Bam silently watched as you walked around like you owned the place, softly humming to yourself as you rummaged through their shower- through his shower, the towel you wore riding up dangerously high on the backs of your thighs, skin still glistening wet as you bent over, nabbing a few little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. He glared at you with contempt through your reflection in the mirror. You’d probably do this even if the whole crew was here, wouldn’t you? Just stroll on in, nearly naked, parading yourself around in front of all those dudes like it was nothing. Shameless. He knew better than anything what that kinda porno logic setup would devolve into. Wait- christ, was he…? Oh, oh yeah. Yep. Bam couldn’t believe himself- he was actually getting hard. More than that, you had no clue he was there in the first place even as you turned to leave, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if he didn’t stand up to catch your attention. “What’re you doin’?” Turning around, you met Bam’s gaze, maybe six inches away from his body as you held up your towel with one hand and presented him your spoils in the other, “I’m getting soap…?” Unceremoniously plucking one of the bottles from your hands, he squinted at you like he was accusing you of something, “So you think y’can just waltz on in here and take my shit whenever you feel like it?”

Looking around at the empty room, you got an idea to really get under his skin. You know how Bam uses his little rich boy MTV paycheck to get whatever he wants? Well your pockets may not be lined as generously but you still found a way. Taking a step forward, you pressed your body right up against his, the same way you saw all those flirty girls do to him at the bar, letting your towel slip down a little as your voice dropped into a teasing coo, trying to provoke him, “Aww, what’s the matter? You don’t like sharing?” While you were referring to the soap, Bam took it as a double entendre and thought there was no way you didn’t mean it in the way he was thinking- what with the way your chest was squished tight against his torso or how you were practically straddling his thigh in, and this is important here, only a towel. In your eyes, this was the same as any other day you were going back and forth on set, but Bam, oh. He could feel the surge of hormones in his bloodstream as his breath caught in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. The way your body was curving against his nearly made him forget about why he hated you so much. Snapping back to reality, he couldn't tell if this was anger or lust that made him speechless, but it was probably a mix of the two. Leaning in closer, you pressed your lips close to your ear, his very obvious state of arousal only fueling your teasing as you words fell slow, melodically from your lips as you enunciated, trying to keep yourself from laughing and fucking it all up. “I’m gonna take this soap back to my room, and I am going to rub it over every inch of my wet. Naked. Body- and you are gonna do nothing about it. So, uh…” Reaching out with a grin, you grabbed the bottle back from Bam’s frozen hand. Now, logic would dictate that this is right about when the two of you would say fuck it and start going at eachother, but that’s not what you had in mind. “Thanks!” Slipping out the door and shutting it loudly, you left him standing there- unable to respond, entirely conflicted, and hard. Fuck.

Why was this happening? He was Bam Margera- Bam fucking Margera- he could have hordes of playboy bunnies folowing him arround wherever he want and fawning over him like their lives depended on it, but noooo. He had to fall for the gross chick he worked with. Perfectly fine, well-adjusted (debatable) women literally threw themselves at his feet on a day to day basis, and the one he’s got his eye set on? Yeah, last week she was doing lines of Tabasco sauce with Steve-O off the table at Denny’s cause they got bored waiting for their food. What a catch. He didn’t even want to meet up with the guys to go pick up chicks at the bar anymore- you know, the civilized kind that wore makeup and shoes you couldn’t skateboard in. And you didn’t even want him the way those girls wanted him- you were messing with his head like some succubus. Very quietly, he sat back down in the bed and thought about some things.

Bam was having a hard time letting everything that was happening with you go- that’s not the kind of guy he is, you know? Too many big feelings in a small package gotta go somewhere. So when he showed up on set the next day, hyped up to do that stunt where he was set to get shot by a riot control shotgun wearing nothing but a leather jacket for protection, his emotions were not in any way subdued when he caught word that Knoxville gave the stunt to you. “Dude!” Storming up to confront him, Bam pulled the asshole away from whatever conversation he was having with Jeff, “I mean, seriously? You got Y/N to do the stunt and not me?” Sticking his hands up in a mercy gesture, Johnny stammered but managed to explain himself, “I’m just sayin, man- It’d work better for her! You know- you have your skating stuff, she’s got the dangerous stuff! You could always watch from the sidelines…” Yeah, real nice save there, Knoxville. Bam hated whenever you did stunts- not because he didn’t like that you were equally as reckless as him, no way- it’s just that he thought chicks shouldn’t be doing dangerous shit, and you were always there to throw yourself in harm's way, and that annoyed him. You were standing off to the side, joking around with Chris and Steve when you felt someone suddenly grab your shoulder from behind and roughly spin you around to face him, “You know, I had some fuckin’ ideas about you, Y/N, but this really takes the cake.” Grimacing, you stood eye to eye with Bam, a little too close to his body to be comfortable. “What the hell are you talking about?” Bam took a step back, eyeing you up and down as he got ready to say what had been eating away at him for weeks. His voice was tense as he nearly growled, “You’re fuckin’ Knoxville.” What?

“Wait, I’m fucking Knoxville?” You certainly were not, but your mind put two and two together lightning fast, tracing his train of thought. It was like a switch flipped in you as rage curled up in your stomach, springing out of your mouth in words that dripped with venom, “Oh, please! You’re probably takin’ it up the ass from all of ‘em!” It was only natural that you would deny it- I mean, it’s kinda taboo for people to admit that they’re sleeping with their boss. But Bam couldn’t summon the words he needed to use to defend himself from what you claimed, so he said the only words his anger-fried brain could come up with, “Fuck you!” Flashing a grin, you got all in his personal space as your voice went from anger to condescension, “Oh, you wish.” Back to the snarky shit with this woman. Okay, maybe he did, but that was none of your business. Bam pressed his lips together as he could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he couldn’t tell if he was getting flustered from the way you were challenging him or how correct what you were insinuating was. The fact that your lips were nearly touching his wasn't helping either. Taking advantage of your close proximity, Bam quickly reached out and snatched the shotgun from where you were gripping it and dashed off.

Oh, you said Bam had no balls? Yeah, he’s got more balls than the tri-state lottery, bitch. Shoving the gun into Ryan’s hands, he didn’t even notice when Rick started filming from where he was setting up the camera for the stunt you were supposed to do. Stepping back, Bam smacked his own chest twice in a challenging gesture, looking at his best friend but saying words he wanted to say to you, “C’mon, man. Hit me. Do it!” Knowing better than anyone the way he could get into these kinds of moods, Ryan knew the only way to talk him down was to go along with whatever stupid plan he had in mind. Groaning, he steadied the sight on where Bam was standing, aiming for his stomach where it would result in the least damage, and pressed his finger against the trigger. This loud, sickening whip cracking sound made everyone on set jump. The man on the other end of the barrel doubled over with this noise you only hear out of dying animals, falling to the ground with a thump as every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs in a second. It was the way Bam looked like roadkill with how he curled up on the ground, not making a sound or movement, that made you feel a shred bad for him for the very first time. Looking around, you were the first person to call out, “…Medic?”

Internal bleeding they said. Three broken ribs on account of Dunn’s stellar marksmanship and a gnarly bruise, or so you heard from when the guys gathered around his bedside and were all gasps and oohs after Bam pulled down the sheets in when Steve asked to take a look at it. But after everyone was done grimacing and telling him how awesome the footage would turn out, they flooded out the door and the only person who remained was you, smugly sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs as Bam lay across from you in his bed, hooked up to electrodes and shit like they do in movies. But there was something different in your eyes as you got up to his bedside- not so much your usual loathing towards him, but more so fascination. Bam got knocked down a peg, and you were satisfied knowing his ego was bruised alongside those abs of his he so loved to flaunt.

Bam’s words came out in a weak mumble as he looked up at you, “What d’you want?” As much as he tried to appear all tough and be a big angry man, you couldn’t help but find the sight of him laying back with his hair a little messy and that glossy look in his eyes from the epidural kinda cute with how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t make fun of you when he was at your mercy like this, what with not being able to even sit up on his own, much less fight or come up with any worthwhile insults. With one finger, you pointed down to the swollen, dark purple mark on Bam’s pale skin, lit up from the light flooding in the window. You nearly snickered, “I wanna touch it.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Bam scoffed at your suggestion, “Fine, whatever….It doesn’t even hurt- oh, fuck!“ Recoiling when you poked the tender bruise, Bam nearly let out a whimper as he winced, pain shooting through his chest. Letting out a breathy groan, he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow, “Don’t- don’t do that…” Part of you wanted to laugh at him, call him a pussy, and go find out wherever the other guys were headed, but another part of you, maybe one you went too eager to own up to, couldn’t deny that he looked kind of pretty when he got fucked up, all fragile and defeated. Like it activated something primal in you, this unconscious attraction towards broken things. You came to the realization that, when that mouth and that attitude of his wasn’t fucking it up, he was pretty hot.

The thing is, both of you liked each other, but neither were too eager to jump at that whole romcom style ‘confessing your feelings’ thing, so for the next few weeks, you tried to keep up the whole hating each other charade. Like when you and him were on the mini-ramp Chris hauled to set with his truck to give you something to do in between filming, and Bam just kept messing up whatever trick he was intent on doing that day. Up he’d go, then down to the plywood with a slam that left him a shiny new bruise- back and forth. “Y’know, it’s a lot easier to do tricks once you’ve learned to stay on your board.” You taunted, kicking up your board to stand on the one side of the ramp. But as he was about to reply with some smart ass response, Bam nailed whatever stupidly over complicated thing he was attempting. “Hahaha! Yes!” Popping his board up with one foot and, turning to you with a triumphant grin, he did one of those victory crotch grabs. “Suck it!” Ignoring the fact that, given the right circumstances, you probably would’ve taken him up on that offer, you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down in a way you hoped looked sarcastic as you spat, “Yeah, in your dreams.” Still, while the venom in your words was still there, it was dulled in a way, like a swallowing a spoonful of sugar after bitter medicine. “Oh, I’d rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass before I let you suck it!” Bam had the same shitty comebacks as ever.

And the fact that you two were phoning it in wasn’t lost in the slightest on the rest of the guys. They’d try to drop hints to Bam and say that if he’s got the hots for you that it’d be a good idea to try not being an asshole for once, but he’d just laugh them off and tell them that that’s what chicks like nowadays- assholes. But they had no clue. All anyone else knew was that the seemingly boiling hatred you had for each other had melted into a mere simmer, practically friendly banter. Maybe Bam didn’t hit the mark when he said you were fucking the whole crew, but was right about you being shameless, as he would come to find out a few weeks into whatver the two of you had going on. But now, he wasn't one to complain when you pulled him behind a trailer on set, or into an empty hotel room- hell, even into one of those porta-potties on set. Honestly, it was just like how he imagined.

[qweerhet]

you know, regardless of the details of this week's drama, i truly do not think that we will get anywhere with trans liberation so long as the response to people with supposedly "contradictory" transition experiences & coercively assigned sexes at birth is to publicly hold up occasional examples of bad actors as, like, representative of the entire demographic.

is the individual person described in the particular AITA drama that took off this week operating in good faith? probably not, at least not if the narrator of the drama is to be believed. trolls like that tend to stop eventually when they get bored, though, and it tends to be unhelpful to give them the outraged attention they're looking for if you want them to stop.

is the existence of this one particular troll a good argument for using CASAB language and ousting all intersex and genderqueer individuals from transfem language & spaces unless they are willing to reveal they were CAMAB? i mean, i would very much argue no. TMA people of all genders are experiencing a wave of social and state violence over the last few years; i would say that cutting TMA people off from trans support networks, even transfem-specific ones, is violent.

the entire reason TMA/TME is a better framework for viewing transmisogyny through than CASAB language is because CASAB as a lens can't accurately represent how gendered violence manifests for intersex and (non-sex-binary-conforming) trans people; someone who was CAFAB, goes through testosterone-dominant puberty, is categorized as male in middle/high school, and has to fight to access estrogen-based HRT as an adult, certainly has material experiences of transmisogyny simpatico with traditional transfem ones. to view this person through the lens of what they were coercively assigned at birth is to miss their experiences starting near-immediately after birth--hence the term TMA to discuss those of us for whom transmisogyny is a relevant, daily concern in our material realities, without relying on intersexist and exorsexist concepts such as CASAB-as-gendered-lens.

the existence of a cobra starship song where the singer flaunts how he only makes out with men in order to get women to sleep with him does not mean that authentically bisexual men do not exist, nor is it compelling evidence for interrogating every bisexual man you come across to confirm that he is, in fact, genuinely and authentically attracted to men, nor is it a compelling argument to go back to "gay or straight" language and decommission multisexual labels for fear of them being co-opted by obnoxious trolls.

[purpleheartskies]

Robby is the protagonist

... in terms of the role a protagonist plays in a story

Also titled: Robby is the underdog - Part 3

Other posts in this series:

Robby is the underdog - Part 1

Robby is the underdog - Part 1.5

Robby has a Hero's Journey (Robby is the underdog - Part 2)

Robby is the underdog- Part 4

The Road Back in Robby's Hero's Journey (Robby is the underdog - part 5)

Putting Johnny and Daniel aside for now, I'm going to first focus on Robby as the protagonist amongst the younger generation. Then, I'll go into Robby's importance in Johnny's and Daniel's stories, followed by Robby's importance and role in the dojo war. I'll be making comparisons between Robby and Miguel, specifically.

Protagonist vs main pov character

The protagonist of a story isn't always the main pov character, or may not be a pov character at all. By definition, a protagonist has a specific role in the story compared to a pov character. It's not often that the protagonist and main pov character are separate characters in a story, but there are stories like this. Popular examples include Sherlock Holmes, The Great Gatsby, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and To Kill a Mockingbird.

There are different reasons writers may do this:

One reason may be because the perspective of the protagonist isn't as easy to understand and relate to. The Cobra Kai writers have said that Johnny and Miguel are archetypal characters that fans can relate to.

Another reason is to allow for observation, and moreover, to disguise the motivations and intentions of the protagonist. The role of any pov character is to provide the view into the story. They are the audience surrogate. By keeping the protagonist's pov hidden, writers can provide an air of mystery to them, until the writers want the protagonist's view to be known. They can do this either by shifting to the protagonist's pov or by having the pov character(s) learn the protagonist's pov. Interestingly, the CK writers have said that the story is from the bully's perspective. Johnny and Miguel are two of the main pov characters. Miguel has provided the perspective of his and Robby's rivarly so far.

The third reason may be to create irony and juxtaposition. This is in the case that the pov character and the protagonist have opposing characteristics, some that aren't always explicitly portrayed. Although Miguel seemed to be the "good kid" and Robby the "bad kid" at the start of the series, their true characters are weaved into the story. For example, throughout the series, Miguel is entitled, lacks empathy, and doesn't take accountability, whereas Robby exhibits humility, is empathetic, and takes accountability.

The irony can be stretched to outright unreliability. The pov characters' views of the protagonist may be entirely wrong. This is definitely the case for Robby. The story is being told mainly through Miguel's and Johnny's povs, and they are "unreliable narrators". Their povs and the povs that other characters have of Robby are skewed because of how they perceive themselves and how they perceive Robby.

Ali: "You both think there's only one side to the story." Johnny: "I know. There's two." Ali: "No, there's three. There's your side and your side, and then there is the truth."

The purpose of dramatic irony is to present a juxtaposition between what is presented on the surface of a story and what is really occurring under the surface. Doing this adds layers of meaning to the story, offers deeper insights into the thematic principles, and shows the audience something that the characters themselves are missing. In Cobra Kai, these additional layers in the story are present throughout. For example, the contrast in Johnny's behavior with each boy is presented with this juxtaposition in all 5 seasons. Some examples of juxtaposition in s5 include the scene where Johnny calls out Daniel for reeking of booze and then hands him a beer, which Daniel thanks him for later. In this same scene, Johnny claims to have gotten Robby out of Cobra Kai, which is far from the truth. Daniel also said that Johnny cares for both boys, which doesn't match what's portrayed in all 5 seasons. After the apartment fight, Miguel told Robby that he learned karate to find balance and not hurt people, which isn't true. He learned Cobra Kai first, which doesn't involve finding balance. He's also used his karate to hurt Robby multiple times, including choosing the apartment fight so that he could hurt Robby again as he's always felt justified to. Afterwards, Johnny said that the boys beat each other into submission. Also not true. Submission means that one party becomes compliant to the other, and the audience was shown that Robby submit to Miguel. The list goes on. All of this is intentional as it's meant to show the audience that, for example, Johnny hasn't changed---he just believes that he has and tries to present to others that he has---, and that Miguel is the bully and not the underdog character between him and Robby.

If the role of the pov character is to provide the view into the story, what is the role of the protagonist?

The protagonist in a story is the character who offers the most conflict in situations, has the longest emotional journey, and has a primal goal to root for. Their transformation shapes the story's theme. Their choices and motivations affect the direction of the story. They're at the center of the conflict and their decisions push the plot forward. In a story with multiple characters with journeys, there is ultimately one character who is the primary driver of the overall story and their story tells the theme of the overall story. The other characters' can be protagonists in their own journeys but these become subplots of varying levels of importance. The protagonist is the character whose fate matters most. They have the highest stakes and the greatest obstacles.

Compared to Miguel, Robby has all the characteristics of a protagonist.

What makes Robby the protagonist of the overall story?

Robby has a Hero's Journey that is related to the story's theme of "finding balance".

Robby has a "want", "need", and "internal struggle" that drive his Hero's Journey. The "internal struggle" is usually tied to the "need". Miguel has "wants" and he probably has a "need", but he doesn't have an "internal struggle" related to that "need". In fact, he doesn't have much of an overarching emotional journey throughout the series. His injury arc and the Mexico arc for example could have been used to give his story more emotional depth, but they weren't used for this. In fact, those two arcs were used to emphasize that Johnny is willing to sacrifice his relationship with Robby and sacrifice Robby himself to maintain his relationship with Miguel, which in turn resulted in more trauma for Robby and made both his "want" and his "need" harder to achieve. That is, those two arcs served Robby's overarching journey more than they served Miguel's. Along with Miguel's lack of relevance to the overall plot (the dojo war), Miguel's lack of an overarching emotional journey is becoming more and more apparent each season. Miguel overall is a static character. For example, in the school fight, he did "strike first, strike hard, show mercy sometimes". In the apartment fight, he did the same thing, despite his injury and learning some Miyagi-Do. In contrast, Robby is a dynamic character who is constantly growing, positively and negatively, throughout his journey.

Robby's character introduction / Ordinary World for his Hero's Journey was his scenes in s1e4 to s1e5, up to the Inciting Incident. In turn, Miguel has no character introduction that fits the "Ordinary World" stage of a Hero's Journey. His first scenes are introducing himself to Johnny, being saved by Johnny while being bullied, asking Johnny to open a dojo for him, and Johnny eventually telling him that he'll be his sensei. All of those scenes are about the role he'll play in Johnny's character story. His scenes in the next few episodes continue to build on the plot and his role in Sam's story, while not building on his character or his Ordinary World.

Each season, many of Robby's decisions play a crucial role in the story. Moreover, he has a very character-driven story, where his decisions and actions as he reacts (mostly trauma responses) drives his own story, but greatly affects the plot and other characters' journeys as well. In general, Robby's character provides the most uncertainty in the story. For example, Robby showed up unexpectedly at the s1 avt, and Johnny's students using "no mercy" on Robby, specifically, changed Johnny's view on "no mercy" and prompted Daniel to reopen Miyagi-Do. Also, Robby's actions at the end of the school fight impacted all of the characters' stories moving forward. At the end of s3, the most resounding shifts in alliances occured because Robby chose to stay with Kreese at Cobra Kai and Johnny allied himself with Daniel. Even Hawk changing sides was most greatly influenced by Robby's change in alliance. In fact, Robby has played an important role in Hawk's journey despite them barely interacting throughout the series. In s4 and s5, Robby continued to make decisions that impacted the other characters, such as officially joining Cobra Kai and teaching them Miyagi-Do in s4 and deciding to stay and help Johnny find Miguel after Johnny ditched Robby at the bus stop in s5.

Robby's had independent arcs and is the only teen with side characters meant for him only and whose involvements served purposes in his arcs. In s1, he was dealing with his partners-in-crime and bullies, Trey and Cruz. In s2, he was dealing with Shannon abandoning him. In s3, he had his juvie arc with Shawn. In s4, he mentored Kenny. In fact, Kenny's introduction and character journey were created as an extension from Robby's character journey, which hasn't been done for any other kid. Robby continues to play an important role in Kenny's journey.

Robby is distinctly given the same importance as the senseis. He mentored a student, taught an entire dojo a style of karate, and was the "next one to land on their arms" when Silver and Kim were talking about Daniel, Johnny, and Chozen being pests. Robby is the only kid to fight alongside a sensei (Johnny). Robby is also the "mentor" trying to resolve the rivalry between Kenny and Anthony.

Robby is being built up as a leader / central figure for the kids. In s5, Robby was shown in a front & center position for both dojos in s5.

Robby is the only character to be in one of the conflicts in every mid-season episode and finale since s1e10:

s1e10 - avt final match

s2e5 - mall fight

s2e10 - school fight

s3e5 - juvie fight

s3e10 - dojo fight with Kreese and Johnny

s4e5 - Cobras shaving Hawk's mohawk

s4e10 - avt final match

s5e5 - apartment fight

s5e10 - dojo brawl

Robby is the most connected overall to all the other characters. For example, in s5, Robby directly influenced or interacted with the following characters: Johnny, Daniel, Miguel, Tory, Kenny, Carmen, Sam, Hawk, Demetri, Anthony, Chozen, and Silver. Robby was mentioned in important scenes by Shannon and even Kim when he wasn't present.

Robby's portrayed to have deeper connections with Sam and Tory than Miguel has with them. While Robby was in Miyagi-Do, he had the "love story" with Sam, the main girl in Miyagi-Do. While Robby was in Cobra Kai, he had the "love story" with Tory, the main girl in Cobra Kai. Robby's relationships with each of them were developed slowly as friendships first. In turn, Miguel started dating each girl soon after the first time he talked to them. Robby had the "meet cute" with Sam, while Miguel just stared at her from afar because she was with another guy. Robby got the prom entrance and main dance, despite not being a student in school, while Miguel watched Robby steal the show. Robby has fought successfully alongside each girl: Sam in the s2 mall fight and Tory in the s4 prom fight. Despite being broken up and in other relationships, Robby and Sam still have a deep connection, like Robby appearing in Sam's dream and them still being able to do the wheel technique in s5. In turn, Miguel and Tory have shared just one "moment" (during the prom fight) together since their break up.

Between Robby and Miguel, Robby has the traits of a traditional hero, rejects the toxic empowerment of Cobra Kai philosophies, and is the best example of positive/healthy masculinity in the story. Rocky is referenced a lot throughout the story as someone Johnny looks up to. Rocky is a popular protagonist, underdog character, and example of positive/healthy masculinity in film.

Throughout s5, the narrative did an interesting recap of Robby's journey. References to or redos of moments from Robby's character journey from s1 to s4 were sprinkled throughout the entire season. (This is yet another post or series of posts I can make.) This makes sense because Robby is the protagonist, and s5 was priming the audience for Act 3.

Although the story started with Miguel as seemingly the protagonist, Robby's role as the actual protagonist becomes more apparent at the end of s1e5 and more so as the series has gone on, making Miguel a "false/decoy protagonist". In s1e5, Robby's story picked up with the Inciting Incident in his Hero's Journey.

Miguel hasn't been an underdog since he beat his bullies in s1e5. Even after his injury, Miguel has resumed his position as one of the top fighters, if not the top fighter. Robby wins important fights, but by the end of s5, he has lost two avts and lost to his bully/rival. Robby started out the series with the most odds against him. Going into the final season, he still has the most odds against him and is even worse off than at the start of his journey. He faces the greatest obstacles and has the most uncertainty and stakes for his future. The Karate Kid story is about the underdog winning in the end against all the odds that are against him/her. Robby has the greatest odd against him, making Robby the underdog in the story.

Robby's importance in Johnny's and Daniel's stories

Robby has always played an important role in Johnny and Daniel's rivalry. In s1 and s2, Robby was the link between Johnny and Daniel. He was a reason for contention between them in a lot of their scenes in s1e9/10, s2e1, s2e5 (Johnny found out that Robby was living with Daniel), and s2e10. In s2e10, Robby suggested that Johnny and Daniel can learn from each other. In s3e2, Daniel and Johnny teamed up to look for Robby. In s3e8, they both came to juvie to pick up Robby and argued. In s4e1, Sam approached Robby believing that he was needed to unite Johnny and Daniel. This was despite Robby choosing to stand against them and with Kreese the last time they saw each other. Sam even went behind Miguel's back to do this. In s4e5, Robby and the Cobras shaving Hawk's head led to Johnny and Daniel's already weakened alliance falling apart because they disagreed on how to handle the situation. In s4e10, Robby teaching the Cobras Miyagi-Do led to Daniel teaming up with Johnny to coach Sam in her match. Even though Robby wasn't physically present with Johnny and Daniel, he played a critical role in affecting their alliance in s4. In turn, Miguel was clearly used as a plot device in Johnny's rivalry with Daniel in s4. Miguel has no significance in Daniel's story otherwise. Meanwhile, Robby has deep connections with both Johnny and Daniel since s1.

Amongst the kids, Robby narratively plays the most important role in Johnny and Daniel's stories.

In the opening shots of Johnny's story and the series, Robby's picture is shown on Johnny's fridge setting up Robby's significance to Johnny almost immediately. Johnny's relationship with Robby is the first relationship introduced for Johnny's character in this series. They have very few scenes together other than the Mexico arc in s5, but their relationship overshadows Johnny's character journey. The goal of Johnny's redemption as a character is his "need" to fight his inner demons and make amends with Robby.

"I love you too Robby"

Subtle similarities are shown between Johnny and Robby throughout the series using various shots or actions. For example, Robby and young Johnny put their headphones on to block out their parents, the way Robby is dejectedly sitting and eating a sandwich in s3e2 is exactly the way Johnny is dejectedly sitting and eating a sandwich in s2e5, the shot of Robby going to Kreese at the end of s3e8 is framed similarly to the shot of Johnny stopping Kreese at the end of s2e1, Robby's fight with Kenny in s5e10 is similar to Johnny's fight with Robby in s3e10, and Robby's most used move is sweeping the leg (Johnny's iconic move from kk1) though Robby is never shown learning that move.

Johnny and Miguel's popular and seemingly generic sensei-student story has always been overshadowed by Robby's existence in the story. It makes Robby an unpopular character, however his existence is the basis of Johnny and Miguel's relationship. Robby was right when he said that Johnny is just using Miguel to feel better about screwing up with Robby. Robby's existence is one of the greatest subversions in this "deadbeat loser meets a kid who changes his life" and "underdog kid meets a mentor who helps build him into a champion" generic story. In fact, the generic layers of Johnny and Miguel's story have lost emphasis as the series has gone on, and they're both somewhat sidelined in the dojo war, Miguel much moreso than Johnny has been.

Meanwhile, Johnny and Robby's relationship continues to be a highlight. Kreese and Silver make a point to remind Johnny that Robby is his "real" son and remind him of his failures with Robby. Kreese wanted to pass down his legacy to Robby because he's Johnny's son. Narratively, Robby is Johnny's weakness, and Kreese and Silver use Robby against him. In s3, Bobby met Robby in person and experienced Johnny choosing Miguel over Robby. Ali asked about Robby specifically, despite seeing Johnny's Facebook page filled with pics and videos of Miguel.

Throughout the series, there is an overarching plotline since s1e4 that Johnny chooses Miguel over Robby. In s5, the Mexico trip and apartment fight were used to portray the continued dysfunctional dynamic in Johnny's relationship with Robby: Johnny will choose the Diazs over Robby, even if Robby is compliant to Johnny. After Johnny found out about the baby, Johnny kept bringing up his failures with Robby, even late into s5. In fact, the last statement made by a character about Johnny becoming a father again is Silver's jab that Johnny will "screw up another kid", a reference to Johnny's abysmal behavior with Robby. The statement was bookended by scene transitions between Johnny and Robby. (End of this post.)

In s5, Johnny kept mentioning his failures with Robby when it came to the baby plot device. Johnny obviously hasn't been redeemed, as he himself keeps bringing up his failures. (Another example of irony and juxtaposition in s5.) The plot device baby had the greatest impact on Robby's character journey though, not even on Johnny's. Johnny once again went through his round-about arc of trying to change but ending the same, as in previous seasons when he's tried to make positive changes. The impacts of the plot device on Carmen and Miguel were barely explored. Johnny used the baby to force a violent "resolution" to the rivalry, which Robby lost. (Again, more juxtaposition. Johnny is failing Robby more as Johnny selfishly prepares for the baby coming and tries to use the baby to make up for screwing up with Robby.) After Johnny accidentally dropped the baby new, Robby completely adopted a fawn response and spent the rest of the season people-pleasing.

In Daniel's case, Robby is the student that Daniel has the greatest attachment to, aside from his own kids of course. Robby, not Miguel, is the most connected and cared about by the LaRussos, especially the OG Karate Kid. Daniel wanted to be a Mr. Miyagi to Robby (though Daniel has failed in doing so since s2e10).

Compared to the other mentor-mentee pairs (Miyagi-Daniel, Johnny-Miguel, Robby-Kenny), Daniel offered to train Robby (Robby's Call to Adventure). In s1, Robby is shown receiving the Miyagi-style training from Daniel that Daniel had received from Miyagi in kk1. In s2, Robby helped Daniel rebuild and bring back Miyagi-Do. Daniel brought Robby into his home and called him family at one point, fulfilling parental responsibilities for Robby in addition to being his sensei. After the school fight, Daniel searched continuously for Robby for 2 weeks. After Robby got out of juvie, Daniel went to pick him up and told him that Miyagi-Do will always be a home for him. Later, Daniel was so worried about Robby that he was taking it out on his students. In s4, Daniel went to warn Robby about Silver. In s5, after Daniel gave up his fight against Silver, only Robby was able to convince him to come back to the fight, showing just how important Robby is to Daniel.

Robby played a role each time Daniel closed Miyagi-Do. At the end of s2, Daniel closed Miyagi-Do because of Robby's actions at the end of school fight. At the beginning of s5, Daniel closed Miyagi-Do because they lost the tournament. Although they lost because of Silver paying off the ref, Robby teaching the Cobras Miyagi-Do had put Miyagi-Do at a noticable disadvantange, to the extent that Daniel gave Robby a talking to about giving Miyagi-Do "secrets" away.

Although Miguel is Sam's boyfriend, he barely has importance in Daniel's story or to the LaRussos. Daniel had no conversations with Miguel in s5 despite the time they spent together in s4. Amanda and Anthony haven't even spoken to Miguel alone, while Robby has had one on one conversations with each of them. Anthony praises Robby's karate and looks up to him, while not interacting much with Miguel. Anthony was excited about karate for the first time while watching Robby fight Hawk in the s1 avt. Anthony is connected to Robby through the rivalry with Kenny, which is Anthony's most important storyline.

Robby's importance and central role in the dojo war

Throughout the series, Robby has been at the center of the dojo war between Miyagi-Do and Cobra Kai. In s1 and s2, Robby linked Daniel and Johnny. In s3, Robby was the only kid approached by all 3 senseis. Each offered him a place with them. In s4, Robby was the only kid to have one-on-one scenes with each sensei. In s5, he was the only one in Miyagi Fang who had people in Cobra Kai that he cared about. (I'm not counting Johnny and Devon cause Johnny forgot about her pretty quickly, while Robby kept making efforts with Tory and Kenny and had rejoined Miyagi-Do to take down Silver to help them.)

Robby is the only one of the kids to have had full season arcs in each dojo. Robby is also the only kid to have fought in a final match in both avts and for each dojo in a final match: Miyagi-Do in s1 and Cobra Kai in s4. Interestingly, both times he wasn't wearing the dojo's emblem when he finished each match. He was wearing the plain white gi in s1 and took off his gi top in s4. At the s4 avt, the two main dojos in the dojo war were introduced with reference to Robby. Robby has had avt matches with all the main boy characters: Miguel, Hawk, Demetri, and Kenny.

In contrast, Miguel's role in the dojo war has noticably diminished since the school fight. This is another reason Miguel fails to fulfill the role of a true protagonist in the story, as many are starting to notice. Overall, he's mostly been a supporting character to other characters and is a foil to Robby's character. The injury and Johnny creating Eagle Fang effectively sidelined Miguel in the dojo war, while still giving him some scenes here and there to make it seem like he has some relevance to the overall plot in s3 to s5. Johnny is still pulled into the dojo war from time to time because of Daniel, Kreese, or Silver. Johnny also helped coach Sam in the s4 avt final, making Johnny as a sensei significant during the avt finals, while Miguel ran off to a plotline that essentially went nowhere for him.

Of all the kids, the cycle of generational trauma is being passed down to Robby specifically from all the senseis: Kreese to Johnny to Robby (as emphasized in the s3 finale flashbacks and confrontations at the dojo) and Silver to Daniel to Robby. (Daniel's history with Cobra Kai affects his view of Robby, "too much Johnny in him".)

Robby in turn has tried to mentor Kenny better and actively try to break the cycles of generational trauma from both Johnny and Daniel. In s5e4, Robby told Kenny a combination of what Johnny told Robby about Kreese in s4e4 and what Daniel told Robby about Silver on s4e6 wrt Cobra Kai. In addition to dealing with external rivals, he has the greatest internal battles out of all the kids. As Daniel said, "The biggest battle is always the one within."

Robby has been using both styles of karate to try to cope with his "hate"/traumas and "find balance", the goal of his character journey. From late s1 to the end of s2, he tried to follow the Miyagi-Do way of finding balance but failed. In late s3 and to the end of s4, he tried to use Cobra Kai to channel his anger into fighting to help him find balance but he quit Cobra Kai after his match with Kenny because of "what it turns you into".

In s5, Robby wasn't focused on finding balance but was instead focused on dealing with his situation with Johnny and Miguel and with trying to take down Silver and Cobra Kai. Interestingly, Robby rejoined Miyagi-Do, instead of Eagle Fang, in his fight to take down Cobra Kai.

Robby carries the essence of Miyagi-Do with him, wherever he goes, including juvie (The Heart of Miyagi-Do - Part 1 and Part 2). Although, this show is called Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai represents the generational trauma that is being passed down from Kreese to Johnny to Robby and from Silver to Daniel to Robby. Miyagi-Do is presented as the opposition to Cobra Kai: The goal of Miyagi-Do is to teach a better way. In fact, all the important avt final matches and the ST trial matches were Miyagi-Do vs Cobra Kai. The whole goal is to take down Cobra Kai. In s4, Robby beat the whole Cobra Kai dojo using Miyagi's teachings. Of course, the kid who carries the essence of Miyagi-Do will be the one to take down Cobra Kai for good in the end.

In a story about every character having their own pov, Robby's pov not being shown is significant. At this point, Robby has been wronged by the most characters, especially the "good guys". In s5, he had one-sided "resolutions" with these characters. So far, the "bad guys", Kreese and Silver, haven't hurt Robby to the extent that the "good guys" have. The writers have said that every character is gray. Robby's pov of the characters would support this notion. The fact that, in s5, Robby can stand up to Silver fearlessly but can't stand up to Johnny without fear of abandonment speaks to this.

s6 is Act 3 of the story. Act 3 is when there is usually a significant paradigm shift for the characters. In s5, Robby's one-sided resolutions and the "recap" of his story from s1 to s4 indicate that his side of the story is yet to be told but is now set up to be told. In s6, the writers could shift to telling the story through Robby's pov, or they could continue to tell the story through the other characters' povs and have them learn and understand Robby's pov.

Johnny's redemption as a character lies in his relationship with Robby. If Johnny were already redeemed, he wouldn't be repeatedly bringing up his failures with Robby himself throughout s5, while he is shown continuing to fail Robby. Since s1e4, Johnny has been using Miguel as a do over. Since s5e3, Johnny has been using the baby as a do over. The Diazs and the baby are plot devices to make Johnny's relationship with Robby worse. By the end of s5, Johnny has everything to lose, which he even foreshadowed in his self-centered speech to Carmen, while Robby has nothing to lose including himself, which he gave up to stay in Johnny's good graces. Miguel is Robby's bully in the story. If Johnny starts to learn Robby's pov, not only would Johnny truly realize how and how much he has hurt Robby, Johnny would also realize that he trained, supported, and enabled Robby's bully to hurt him and get away with it as long as his bully "shows mercy" in the end.

In s5, Daniel relied on Robby to get back into being a sensei. He'd told Johnny to ask Robby how much he'd helped Robby. Robby is the student that Daniel has failed the most. In s5, Daniel repeated exactly what he'd said to Robby in s3, and Robby side-stepped Daniel's apology. To repair their relationship properly, Daniel has to actually listen to Robby's pov. Daniel also has to come to realize and accept that the teaching "no bad student, only bad teacher" applies in his relationship with Robby. He has to let go of the belief: "I'm willing to admit when I fail, or maybe Robby has too much of you [Johnny] in him."

This is Johnny's redemption story, and Johnny has failed his Robby his whole life including all 5 seasons. Robby is also Daniel's most important (non-related) student, and Daniel has failed as Robby's mentor. Johnny's and Daniel's character journeys won't be complete until they start repairing their relationships with Robby, start helping him overcome the odds that are against him, and support him to win the world tournament and succeed in his future.

Robby is the protagonist in the story. He has been since the start.

Cobra Kai has always been Robby's story.

Some references:

https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/

https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/

https://thewritepractice.com/

(Note: Please don't reblog/reply with any dismissive comments/tags about the show writers, the writing, or the serious aspects of the show. Such comments/tags minimize the contents of the post. This blog (link) explains my general thoughts about posting after s5.)

[msfbgraves]

Terry's backstory confuses me.

He's in Vietnam, but with his brains, and the implication that he comes from a wealthy family with his dad's business, why isn't he in a fancy Ivy League college? Or why couldn't his dad buy his way out of the draft, if Terry was drafted in the first place? But then Terry himself subtly implies in the parlor scene that he and his dad might not have the best relationship, so maybe Terry "drafted himself" to prove something to his dad, or his dad didn't care about him potentially dying?

And the other thing: how did Terry get into to special forces in Vietnam, and go on that mission that got Ponytail killed? He seems out of his element in Vietnam, very young and a little dorky and much more naïve and innocent than (the presumably older) Ponytail or Kreese. And physically Terry is still growing, and comes off as very young, 17 or 18 at the very most. (I headcanon his birthday to be 1950/1951).

He doesn't seem to be on the same level as Kreese or Ponytail either physically or mentally. Maybe Terry was chosen for his intelligence?

Only after "the cage" does Terry seem to grow up a bit, but then he's shown to still be under the thumb of his dad in the parlor scene.

The whole thing is a mess to me. That's why I don't care for the scene where Terry tells Kreese about the Sekai Tekai. They both look way too young for the era, and they both still come off a way too nice and normal. It clashes with how we see Kreese just a few years later in KK1, and Terry in KK3. Those are enormous and negative personality changes!

Yes, it is inconsistent writing - UNLESS

All these flashbacks are only through Kreese's eyes. Indeed, the Sekai Taikai scene especially makes no internal sense, except when you consider that Kreese may be an unreliable narrator, even to himself.

He sees himself as a sweet guy to his protegees Da Eun and Johnny. We know from the film that he demonstrably insn't, but that doesn't change his perception of himself. So how he sees Terry, as a scrawny, scared sidekick, has as little to do with reality as anything else. Often, in flashbacks, characters imagine their younger selves or other people as shorter, to symbolise immaturity. Kreese remembers this scrawny boy Twig, the sidekick he saved. But was Terry ever that insecure Twig of a man? Granted, Terry confirms the nickname in Cobra Kai. But this boy in Special Forces, the way Kreese sees him? No way. Did he play a weakling? Certainly could have been a strategy. It worked in the cage, didn't it? Got Kreese to take the fall? If people think you're weak they think you're less of a threat. Why did they shoot Ponytail? He SEEMED the more threatening one. Which gives Terry the element of surprise to work with. He does it in the fight with Chozen too. He seemed beaten, which made Chozen lower his guard - big mistake. He teaches Kenny this. Feign weakness, win. Use the fact people underestimate you as a weapon.

Definitely worked on Kreese!

And yes, why is he even there at 18 (can't have been much older with how young he looked in 1985. I would have never given him 35 there, let alone more than that). Why would anyone let a boy like that join a war that was known to be going poorly, casualty wise? He wasn't drafted. No way. Not with his smarts. He joined.

His father was likely a WW II vet, and if he fought in the Pacific and got his status from there... Terry will fight in Asia too. He clearly knows about the heroes of WWII and he is very jealous of their status and heroes' welcome. None of that for him, and we see that's a big wound. He risked his very life in a war to be like his father, to no avail. And the man likely didn't stop him joining. Terry needed to prove himself worthy in his eyes too, and it didn't work. He still has something to prove to his father after the war. John disdains that, that's why he remembers Terry, again, as a weakling. "I'll go where you lead, Terry"? It's certainly what Kreese expects, but even Kreese becomes aware that this is not how Terry acts now. And John feels that he only needs to pull rank to restore that dynamic, except that it never existed. Terry has always used feigning weakness as a trick, but when Kenny asks him: "What should I do?" He says: "I want you to stop asking me, or anyone, that question." Kreese simply has a warped view of Terry and himself, and Terry has used it against him, likely more than once. And that talent might have well gotten him into those special forces. The talent for trickery. Using the more obvious super soldiers as a smokescreen, even for the enemy. For all we know Terry speaks fluent Vietnamese. It's like the scene in Men In Black: who is the most dangerous foe? Everyone goes for the scary looking aliens, only the smartest one goes for the little girl among all the monsters. Terry is likely there to make them all look like regular draftees, when they're in fact anything but. And if he can make his comrades think he needs protection, he's far more likely to survive.

Indeed, he's the most dangerous one. If he had been forced to fight in the snake pit, he would have tricked his officer, the same way their officer messed with Kreese's head. Indeed that's what command may have seen in "Twig". Kreese simply never saw through it.

Now, in business as a ceo looking a weakling is not an advantage, so Terry changed his image (he does that). But by that point the way Kreese saw him was too deeply entrenched already.

His mistake.

[open-hearth-rpg]

Hearts of Wulin Now at Age of Ravens

Hearts of Wulin, a PbtA game of wuxia romance and melodrama is now at Age of Ravens Games. Written by Joyce Ch*ng and Lowell Francis (me). This game and its expansion, Hearts of Wulin Worlds, offers a range of playstyles by focusing on the powerful heroes trapped by a web of obligations and personal desires. 

It’s pretty awesome IMHO. It draws on the literature of writers like Jin Yong and Gu Long, in particular adaptations of those stories in dozens and dozens of TV series (Laughing in the Wind, The Proud Twins). It also works to include things like more recent web novels and their adaptations, with rules for xianxia and the fantastic. The core book includes ideas for various genres, narrating fight scenes, building entanglements, and handling historical/courtly games. 

Hearts of Wulin: Worlds includes several settings: 

Shadow of Joseon, set during the Korean Joseon Dynasty. (Yeonsoo Julian Kim)

1905: San Francisco, presents a Chinatown just emerging from the shadow of the Chinese Exclusion Act. (Banana Chan)

Cour de l'Eppee transports Hearts of Wulin to swashbuckling France. (Cat Evans)

Academy of the Blade offers a dueling academy inspired by Revolutionary Girl Utena. (Alison Tam)

Fight Me IRL is a unique take on cyberpunk. (James Mendez Hodes) 

Silk & Steam gives you a wondrous silkpunk setting. (Kienna Shaw)

It also includes two major rules add-ons:

The Villain, a new playbook. Not all wulin "Heroes" are heroes with a capital H. Some start in a darker place... 

Numberless Secrets, a new set of rules for telling mystery/investigation stories in Hearts of Wulin. 

These can be found on Drivethrurpg– both are part of the ongoing GMs Day sale happening right now. 

Personally I’m really excited about the future for Hearts of Wulin. Though I never learned the print run, I do know that the last of the physical copies recently sold out at Indie Press Revolution. I have a short list of things I’m hoping to accomplish. 

Get it up on itch.io. I know some folks prefer to get their ttrpg pdfs via that site. 

Figure out how to get Print-on-Demand versions up on Drivethru. I’ve been told this is a challenging process to get right, so I’m hoping to talk to some folks who have done it before. 

Publish the Names & Entanglements deck. This was a self-print add-on for Hearts of Wulin. It's a useful resource for character creation and I’m hoping to have physical copy available for sale. 

I’ve always said folks should feel free to hack and rework Hearts of Wulin as they wish. But I’d like to get a clear Creative Commons license out there for everyone and encourage folks to play around with the system.

Eventually I might do a 1.5 version bringing some of the HoW: Worlds material over into the main book, as well as a couple of rules updates.

I want to publish a collection of Numberless Secrets mysteries along with guidance for running detective wuxia games. I love the series Ancient Detective and this is the best way I get to play out those kinds of stories. 

Get an online keeper which has easy to use set ups for all of the expansion worlds. We have a solid one– newly automated thanks to Agatha– but it doesn’t have all the expansions. 

Some folks have done from amazing things with HoW so far (inspired by media like Scott Pilgrim, Cobra Kai, Star Wars and beyond). It would be great if I could assemble a collection of new hacks and settings, maybe with some additional play options.

Finalize the one translation agreement I’ve been offered. 

I want to thank everyone who has read and/or played Hearts of Wulin. It remains a game I love to run and it would be amazing to have more people try it out.

[catparent94]

For Reference Purposes for who is in which episode of ROTTMNT

Hello. I have been looking to see which characters are in which episode of ROTTMNT in a short-list. And I could not find it. So I decided to make this list to maybe help someone else who might benefit from it. And also I tried to put who the main focus is of an episode if it applies. So hopefully this can help someone. And if I missed anyone or the placement is incorrect, please leave a comment so it can be more accurate.

Episode List of Characters in them

A little Chart for how I named the main 6 so it is easier to know what it means

Donnie or D

Leo or L

Mikey or M

Raph or R

April or A

Splinter or S

Season 1

1. Mystic Mayhem

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist:

Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Guardsmen: Freki and Garm

Random person: Stewart

2a. Origami Tsunami

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Minor Character of Main Cast: A, S

Neutral: Salami Ninja

Things mentioned: Spine Breaking Bandits, Island Mangler

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja, Large Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mobster #1, Mobster #2

2b. Donnie's Gifts

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Neutral: Mutant Silverfish, Oozesquito

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Kondescending Kitchen Cameraman, Kondescending Kitchen Contestant

3a. War and Pizza

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Albearto

President Pepperoni, Robotic Vole, Cheery Tomato

Neutral: April’s Manager

Neutral Characters that are minor characters: Birthday Boy, Claw Machine Kid, Helmet Kid, Nine Year-Old Girl, Party Kid

3b. Newsworthy

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

Antagonist:

Introduction: Warren Stone, Hypno-Potamus or (Mezmer-ron)

Animal character mentioned and only in flashback: Doug the Hippo

Neutral: Carly Balmaceda, Clem

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Flashback only Villains: Bowling Pin Creatures, Robot

New York Police Department (debut)

Oozesquitoes

4a. Repo Mantis- Mainly Donni and Mikey Episode

Main Protagonists: D, M

Allie and Introduction: Todd Capybara

Antagonist and Introduction: Repo Mantis

Animal: Nubbins- Repo’s cat turned Mantis

Todd Puppies: Melvin, Miho, Willis

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Man Shopper (debut)

4b. Down with the Sickness

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Narrator

5a. The Fast and the Furriest- Donnie and Splinter episode but more everyone

Main Protagonists: D,  L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Mutant animals in Meat Sweats' possession

Mutant spitting cobra

Introduction and Nuetral: Señor Hueso

5b. Mascot Melee

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist of Cockroach Mutants in Costumes: Atomic Lass, Joey the Junkyard Dog, Sergeant Woodpecker, Robot Vampire

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Timmy (cameo), Tourist

6a. Shell in a Cell

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Neutral: Jessica Jaclyn, Annihilation

Neutral but group: The Liberty League

Antagonist: Ghostbear

6b. Minotaur Maze- Mainly Leo centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Brick Oven Creature, Cheese Grater Creature, Minotaur, Rolling Pin Creature, Pizza Cutter Creature

Neutral:  Señor Hueso

7. Bug Busters

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Draxum, Big Mama, Muninn, Huginn

Background Character: Stanley (Bullhop)

Big Mama things

Battle Nexus arena clown

Battle Nexus competitors

Kelb tal-Fenek Yōkai gladiator, Lizard Yōkai gladiator, Boar Yōkai gladiator

Big Mama's hotel staff

Laundry Yōkai

Yōkai bellhops:

Bird bellhop, Fox bellhop, Frog bellhop, Indian rhinoceros bellhop, Lion bellhop, Lizard bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop, Water buffalo bellhop

Yōkai custodians:

Ape custodian, Badger custodian, Cat custodian, Lobster custodian

Octopus elevator operator

Gus

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Oozesquitoes

Atomic Lass (image only), Clem (cameo; image only), Hypno-Potamus (image only), Meat Sweats (image only), Mutant silverfish (image only), Repo Mantis (image only), Stewart (cameo), Todd Capybara (image only)

8a. The Longest Fight

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Foot Antagonist: Foot Clan, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Announcer, Carly Balmaceda, Ice Cube Tray Advertiser (debut), Sydney Allen (debut)

8b. Hypno! Part Deux- April, Raph, and Leo Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, R, A, Mayhem

Antagonist: Hypno

Neutral: Taylor Martin, Dale, Noah Sheck, Siegel

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

 Boy #1, Carly Balmaceda, Girl #1 (debut)

9a. The Gumbus- Involves Mikey, Leo, and April Centric

Main Protagonists: L, M, A

Antagonist: Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mr. Stockboy (debut), Mrs. Stockboy

President Pepperoni (cameo; image only)

9b. Mrs. Cuddles- Raph Centric Episode with the brothers

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Mrs. Cuddles

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Astronaut (debut)

10a. Stuck on You- Raph Centric Episode and brothers

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

Other Antagonists: Hypno, Warren Stone, Silverfish

Mentioned Doug the Hippo

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

First Witch (debut)

10b. Al Be Back

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Albearto

Al-Beardo the Pirate, Bayou 'Bearto, Chef Albéar, Otto von Bearto, Albearto Land Robots

Neutral for Episode: Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Cheery Tomato (cameo), Manager, President Pepperoni, Tanya Melendez (debut)

11a. The Purple Jacket- Mainly Donnie Centric with April there

Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Purple Dragons

Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Carly Balmaceda, New York Police Department

11b. Pizza Pit

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Band: DIGG

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Pizza Owners: Pizza Lou, Pizza Mike, Pizza Toney, Pizza Tony

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Bigfoot (debut) (image only), Loch Ness Monster (debut) (image only), Pizzasaurus (debut)

12a. Smart Lair- Shelldon Introduction

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Introduction: Shelldon

12b. Hot Soup: The Game- Mikey and Raph Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

Introduction: Cassandra

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Boss Level Guy

Tang Shen (image only), Video Game Commercial Thugs, Voiceover Guy

13. The Evil League of Mutants

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Ally: Todd

Antagonist: Evil League of Mutants

Draxum, Meat Sweats, Hypno, Repo Mantis, Warren Stone, Carl and Ben (Sandro brothers), Muninn, Huginn

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Big Mama's assistant (debut) (mutates in flashback)

Radisson Hotel Bellhop (debut)

JJG -Reporter

14a. Late Fee

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Mutant Silverfish, Ghostbear

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Conductor, Director, Ferry Captain, Trash Wizard

14b. Bullhop

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Yōkai bellhops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop

Yōkai waiter

Minor Character Protagonist: Stanley (Bullhop)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

DIGG (cameo)

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Oozesquitoes (flashback only)

Partygoer (Dave Foley) (debut)

15a. Mind Meld- Donnie centric with brothers there

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Protagonist: Shelldon

Neutral: Silverfish

Antagonist even though does not show up: Kendra, Purple Dragons

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

April O'Neil (image only), Mayhem (image only), Warren Stone (image only) (flashback only)

15b. Nothing But Truffle- Meat Sweats, Mikey, and Todd Episode

Main Protagonists: M, Todd, Mind Raph

Antagonist: Meat Sweats, Were-Tree

Neutral: Silverfish

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Mrs. Cuddles (image only), Todd's puppies (cameo)

16. Shadow of Evil

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Foot Antagonist:

Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Foot Soldiers, Origami Ninja

More a little separated from Foot but with Foot at moment

Draxum, Huginn, Muninn

Antagonist Animals: Mutant magpie (Bird), Oozesquito

Possible future antagonist: The Shredder (flashback only)

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai (Flashback only)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Krystal Yistal (debut) (flashback only)

Teen Customer

17a. Portal Jacked!- Leo Centric with Hueso- Leo Centric with Hueso

Protagonists in Episode: L

Protagonists in episode but not main focus for episode: D, M, R

Neutral: Señor Hueso,

Antagonist: Capitán Piel, Kraken Pirate, Mermaid Pirate, Sea Serpent Pirate, Singing Pirates, Yōkai Pirate

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Hidden City Police (debut)

Hidden City Police #1, Hidden City Police #2

Hueso, Jr. (image only), Todd Capybara (image only), Yōkai Granny

17b. Warren & Hypno, Sitting in a Tree- April and Draxum centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Draxum, Hypno, Warren Stone, Muninn, Huginn

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Carly Balamceda (cameo; image only)

JJG (cameo; image only), Tendril creature (debut)

18a. Operation: Normal- Donnie and Leo Centric and April is there 

Main Protagonists: D, L, M only mentioned, A, Mayhem

New Ally character: Sunita

Antagonist: Cassandra, Foot Brute

Meat Sweats only mentioned

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Biology Teacher

Cindy, Cindy's Father, Cindy’s Mother (debut)

Exploding Frankie (Eric Bauza) (debut)

Flashback: Huginn, Mayhem, Muninn

Pizza Creatures, Trash Wizard, Waiter

18b. Sparring Partner- Franken-Foot and Raph Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

New Ally: Franken-Foot 

Antagonist: Cassandra, Foot Lieutenant, Cassandra, Origami Ninja

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Lou Jitsu (cameo)

19a. You Got Served- Leo and Mikey Centric

Main Protagonists: L, M

Neutral: Señor Hueso

Antagonist:

Makers of Brutality

Boss Beverly, Ogre 1, Ogre 2

Masters of Barbarianism Boss

Bruce, Snake 1, Snake 2

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Tentacle-Eyeball Yōkai, Unicorns (debut)

19b. How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will- Draxum Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, Foot Initiate, Foot Initiator, Foot Soldiers

Antagonist that work with Foot but not necessarily Loyal to it: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Golem- Created by Draxum

Separate Villain: Stinkbomb (Harold)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Customer 1, Customer 2

Female barista, Male barista

20a. Mystic Library

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Tiny Origami Ninja

Antagonist but not necessarily bad Person: Bat Librarian, Hush-Bats

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Yōkai Kids

20b. The Purple Game- Donnie Centric

Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Main Protagonist: Shelldon

Antagonist:

Purple Dragons: Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Giant Mech- Created by Purple Dragons

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mrs. O'Neil (debut) (cameo)

Game voice of game (Eugene Byrd) (debut), New York Police Department, Plush dolls (Greg Cipes) (debut), Timmy (image only), YPS deliveryman (debut)

21a. Man VS. Sewer- Raph Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Sandro Brothers – Ben and Carl

21b. The Mutant Menace

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist:

Baxter Stockboy

Micro-Bots- Created by Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Angry New Yorkers, Man Shopper, New York Police Department, Cop, Sunny Chipperton, Trash Wizard

22a. Turtle-Dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man- Splinter, Donnie and Mikey Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Meat Sweats, Repo Mantis, Warren Stone, Hypno

Yōkai Bellhops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl Bellhop, Penguin bellhop,

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Cute Yōkai- Cat mutant

22b. The Ancient Art of Ninja Hide and Seek

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Gus

Yōkai hellphops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop

Battle Nexus Announcer (debut)

Big Mama (cameo)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Kid Cthulhu (debut)

Lizard Yōkai, Server Yōkai, Tentacle Yōkai

23a. One Man's Junk- Raph Centric Episode but all brothers are involved

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute,

Regular Antagonist: Repo Mantis

Animals: Mrs. Nubbins (mutates in flashback)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Green Yōkai

Image Only: Hypno, Warren Stone

Oozesquito (flashback only)

Short Yōkai

23b. Snow Day

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Antagonist: Ghostbear, Oozesquito

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Splinter (cameo)

Background: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

24a. Cloak and Swaggart- Sunita and April Episode

Main Protagonists for the Episode: Sunita and A

Main characters in episode but not central focus: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Neutral but contribute-ish to the plot: Loose Lips Malinowski

Shelldon

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

BBQ Host 1, BBQ Host 2

Cooking Show Host

DIGG

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Director at Channel 6

Guy Flambé (debut)

Late Night Show Guest, Late Night Show Host, Painting Show Host, Security Guard, TV Station Employee

Mrs. Cuddles (cameo)

24b. Jupiter Jim Ahoy! 

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Main Antagonist-ish: Marcus Moncrief who thought he was Jupiter Jim

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Images only: Ghostbear, Annihilation, Jessica Jaclyn

Goon 1, Red Fox Cosplayer

25. Insane in the Mama Train

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Clan Ancestors, Mystic Aura

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, Foot Soldiers

Just working with the Foot but not necessarily completely loyal: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Antagonist: Big Mama

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Bandaged Yōkai, Screaming Yōkai, Tax Yōkai, Train announcer

Guardsmen

Freki, Garm

26. End Game

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder (resurrection), Origami Ninja

Just working with the Foot but not necessarily completely loyal: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Ally: Stanley (Bullhop), Shelldon, Franken-Foot, Todd

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Clan Ancestors, Mystic Aura

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Baseball stadium announcer (debut)

Flashback only but Debut: Council of Heads

Councilor 1, Councilor 2, Councilor 3

Country singer (debut)

Season 2

1. Many Unhappy Returns

Main Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder, Cassandra

Not necessarily Loyal to the Foot but working with them: Draxum

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Staff

Big Mama's assistant, Big Mama's soldiers, Fox Bellhop

Big Mama Contestants

Evil Six, Kraken Tom (debut)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Cameo: Albearto, Cheery Tomato, President Pepperoni

New York Police Department

Serge (debut)

2a. Todd Scouts

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, S

Ally: Todd

Antagonists: Tooth Fairies

Dr. Alex Noe, Hunters

2b. Goyles, Goyles, Goyles

Center for this episode: Huginn, Muninn

Meat Sweats- Kind of background character even though he captured Huginn and Muninn

Flashback

Draxum hiring them

Big Mama in episode- Though I think she is only mentioned and there is a cameo

Splinter/Lou Jitsu in flashback

Pictures of Baby Turtles

D, L, M, R

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Gargoyles (debut) (flashback only)

Bro-goyle 1, Bro-goyle 2, Gargoyle, Sarge Goyle

3a. Flushed, but Never Forgotten

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, S

New Character and family?: Piebald

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Minor Character: Franken-Foot, Game Voice

Flashback Only: Trash Wizard

3b. Lair Games- Donnie and Leo Centric

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Minor Character: Shelldon

4a. Breaking Purple- Donnie Centric with Shelldon

Protagonist: D, M, but Splinter just mentioned

Also Shelldon

Characters that Donnie overhears people talking that is important to the plot

Loose Lips Malinowski, Repo Mantis

Antagonist:

Purple Dragons: Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Neutral Character at Dome place for robots:

Billionaire Guy Eccentric

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Neutral Character for the Episode:  Bat Librarian, Mrs. Cuddles, Baxter Stockboy, Timmy

4b. Repairin' the Baron- Draxum, Raph, and Mikey Centric

Protagonists that are the main focus: M, R,

Protagonist in the episode but not main Focus: D, L, A, S

Antagonist turned Reform: Draxum

Antagonist for Episode:

Guardsmen: Freki, Garm

Councilor of Heads: Councilor 1, Councilor 2, Councilor 3

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

The Shredder (flashback only)

5a. Air Turtle- Leo Centric

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist:  Arch of Aquinnah, Tim Dunkman

Reformed?: Draxum

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Dave

The Daves (debut)- Basketball Team

Daves Player #1, Daves Player #2, Daves Player #3, Daves Player #4, Daves Player #5

Announcer (debut)

The Knights (debut)- Basketball Team

Knights Player #1, Knights Player #2, Knights Player #3, Knights Player #4, Knights Player #5

Player #1, Referee

5b. Pizza Puffs

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Big Mama- captured Meat Sweats, Meat Sweats

Tummytello is a thing

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Guy Flambé, Swedish Baker

6a. Sidekick Ahoy!

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Neutral: Jupiter Jim/ Marcus Moncrief, Red Fox

Antagonist: Scor-Pion

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Stagehand (debut)

6b. The Hidden City Job- Leo episode with Hueso and kind of Donnie at the very end

Protagonist: D, L,

Antagonist: Big Mama

Auctioneer (debut), Big Mama's soldiers, Shadow Fiend (cameo)

Ally and former villain now ally: Señor Hueso, Capitán Piel

Combine to make Don Suave

Animal Important: Wild simurgh

7a. Always Be Brownies- April and Casey/Foot Recruit Girl episode

Protagonist: A, S

Antagonist for Episode:

Cassandra

Brownie Clan: Julia, Brownie Girls, CJ Girl

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Timmy (cameo)

7b. Mystery Meat- Mikey, April, and Draxum episode

Protagonist: M, A

Protagonist briefly in episode, but not for that long: R

Reformed?: Draxum

Antagonist but I think Draxum sees it as his child: Sloppy Joseph

Neutral: Vivian Slopworth, Dale

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Lunch Ladies: Lunch Lady Edna, Lunch Lady Gladys, Lunchman Stan

Neutral animals: Mutant silverfish, Oozesquito

Student #1, Student #2

8a. Raph's Ride-Along- Raph Centric

Protagonist: R

Antagonist:

Big Mama

Big Mama's assistant

Mud Dogs

Dastardly Danny, Loathsome Leonard, Malicious Mickey

Separated from Mud Dogs: Heinous Green

Hidden City Police

Guardsman 1, Guardsman 2

Minor Characters that are made of the main cast: D, A, L, M,S

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Cameo’s: Cudley the Cowlick, The great Morgan

Villain that only shows up in Picture: Evil Emerald (debut) (image only)

 (cameo)

Yōkai Granny

8b. Donnie vs. Witch Town- April and Donnie Centric

Protagonist: D, A

Witch Town Characters: Gentry, The great Morgan, Mayor Mira, Black Cat Choir, Salem Witch

Minor Characters of Main Cast: L, M, R, S

9a. Hidden City’s Most Wanted- Draxum, Mikey, and Draxum Centric

Protagonist: M, S

Reformed?: Draxum

Minor Characters of the Main Cast: M, D, A, L

Antagonist: Police Officer, Heather, Officer 2

9b. Bad Hair Day- Leo Centric

Protagonist: L

Minor Characters of the Main cast: D, M, R, A, S, Baron Draxum

Antagonist: Yōkai Masseur, Mystic Hair Creature

Neutral: Resort Guard

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Neutral cameo that are there: Mermaid Pirate, Bat Librarian

Greeter (Oliver Vaquer) (debut)

Yōkai Pedicurist

Hidden City Police

Guardsman 1, Guardsman 2

Yōkai Resorter #1, Yōkai Resorter #2, Yōkai Resorter #3, Yōkai Resorter #4

10b. The Clothes Don't Make the Turtle

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Hypno

Magician: John (debut)- In it briefly

11. Battle Nexus: New York

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Contestants only:

Amphisbaena, Cortex, Sprite, Troll

Foot Villains: Cassandra, The Shredder

Very Confused about how to classify these villains: Meat Sweats, Hypno, Carl Sando, Ghostbear

Reformed?: Draxum

Ally: Todd

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Sloppy Joseph (cameo)

12a. Finale Part 1: E- Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Foot Villains

Cassandra, Foot Brute, Foot Lieutenant, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum

Hamato Ancestors:

Flashback only: Hamato Atsuko, Hamato Sho

Hamato Karai (debut)

12b. Finale Part 2: Shreddy or Not

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum

Shelldon- Death

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Karai, Hamato Clan Ancestors (cameo)

Ally: Todd

13a. Finale Part 3: Anatawa Hitorijanai

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder, Cassandra

Reformed?: Draxum

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai, Hamato Clan Ancestors

Cameo: Hamato Atsuko and Hamato Sho ghost, Mystic Aura

Ally: Todd, Golem

13b. Finale Part 4: Rise

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama-but only helps for Lou Jitsu, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum, Cassandra

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai (ghost), Hamato Clan Ancestors, Hamato Atsuko (ghost)

[nerds-yearbook]

G.I. Joe the Movie was released on August 14, 1987. It was meant to be a theatrical release, see the death of Duke (Michael Bell), and have a topless scene with Zarana (Lisa Raggio). The production went longer than predicted so the Transformers movie was released first, which ended up having a huge impact on the Joe movie. Because Transformers the Movie underperformed in the theaters, it was decided to release the Joe movie as a direct to video and TV presentation. Because the Transformers movie recieved so much backlash from killing Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), dialogue was added explaining Duke didn't die but went into a coma. The topless scene was story boarded but the scene was altered in the final film with a swim top. Most of the new characters introduced were the new recruits (Lt Falcon - Don Johnson, Kunoichi Jinx - Shuko Akune, Chuckles, Law - Ron Ortiz and Order, Big Lob - Brad Sanders, and Tunnel Rat - Laurie Faso), Sgt Slaughter's (Robert Remus), Renegades (Mercer - Kristoffer Tabori, Red Dog - Poncie Ponce, and Taurus - Earn Boen) and the mutants from Cobra-La (Pythona - Jennifer Darling, Golobulus - Burgess Meredith, and Nemesis Enforcer - Cullen). As Cobra Commander (Christopher Collins/Chris Latta) was facing a mutiny by Dr Mindbender(Brian Cummings), Baroness (Morgan Lofting), Destro (Arthur Burghardt), Zartan (Zack Hoffman), Tomax (Corey Burton) and Xamot (Bell), Pythona arrived and convinced Cobra to steal the BET device. The mission failed, Serpentor was captured, and Cobra Commander retreated his forces to Cobra-La. There Golobulus revealed that Cobra Commander was an escapee from Cobra-La. Also that Cobra-La had secretly manipulated Dr Mindbender into creating Serpentor (Dick Gautier). While Lt Falcon was court martialed by the Joes, Cobra Commander was put on trial in Cobra-La. The movie also featured the familiar Joes and Cobras Low Light (Charlie Adler), Wet Suit (Jack Angel), Blow Torch, Lift-Ticket (both Bell), Motorviper (Gregg Berger), Iceberg (Burghardt), Beach Head (William Callaway), Quick Kick (Francois Chau), Zandar (Cullen), Dial-Tone (Hank Garrett), Hawk (Ed Gilbert), Slip Stream (Dan Gilvezan), Roadblock (Kene Holiday), Bazooka (John Hostetter), Doc (Buster Jones), Gung Ho, Ripper, Televiper (all Latta), Lady J ( Mary McDonald-Lewis), Letherneck (Chuck McCann), Cross-Country (Michael McConnohie), Snow Job (Rob Paulsen), Mainframe (Patrick Pinney), Flint (Bill Ratney), Buzzer, Shipwreck, Monkeywrench, Hector Remirez (all Neil Ross), Thrasher (Ted Schwartz), Scarlett (B.J. Ward), Alpine (Lee Weaver), Torch, Wild Bill (both Frank Welker), Lifeline (Stan Wojno), and Jackson Beck as the narrator. ("G.I. Joe the Movie", Movie, Event)

[crowghostie]

My submissions for the @tspud-whiteboard ! They are Narrator, Stanley, Curator and Timekeeper in that order! The Adventure LineTM is a cobra named Linus (haha yes i'm very funny) and my Narrator is called Hades! My arm hurts but this was so worth it-

[hobgobknowsbest]

imagine thinkin being "anti human" is a good punk thing and not feeding into ideas peddled by fascists and religious nuts that all humans are inherently dirty/broken/sinful. you can be voidpunk without licking misanthrope boot

I've heard this angle plenty, so lemme just get this out here.

Imagine you're a National Geographic narrator examining the human race as a whole, and tell me this whole shebang wouldn't end up being described as.... Pretty Terrible™. Rampant greed, self destruction, pollution, slavery, torture, injustice, etc. Take your pick of war crimes and mass extinctions.

I get that no matter what you might identify as, you're still stuck in that human body, doing your required human shit every day, so it can be hard to step back and both separate yourself from that proverbial quagmire, and not take things like this personal offense at the same time.

I'm sure not all king cobras bite, yeah? But I'm still gonna err on the side of safety. Same thing with humans: I know they're not all bad, but the ones who are have a tendency to find their way into power, making decisions for millions.

Unpopular opinion? Perhaps, but ey, any variety of "punk" tends to be involved with those. I'll stick with my misanthropic boot; I like the taste much better than your apologist footwear.

And I mean, shit dawg, way to get bent outta shape over someone else's opinion on a flippin' Tumblr or all things.