#cmon some of my gays gotta agree

[your-average-gay-dork]

Thinking about the first kiss after a first date 🥺

[joffyworld]

COTL Freaky Tierlist

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP CHUCKLEFUCKS

I'm about to drop some life changing lore and if you can't handle it, that's tough titties my brothers, sisters and theys. If you don't agree with this tier list, you're either a normal person (in which case why are you here run for the hills) or you're so damn freaky that God forgot that was possible when he made me.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, FROM LEAST TO MOST FREAKY:

F:

Kallamar - Need I say more? This loveable twink is soft as his husbands knickers and by God would we not have him any other way. This fucker can't even fathom anything beyond the most painfully dull missionary imaginable, and that's just as an excuse to cuddle more afterwards. "But Joffy" I hear you say, "He's a renowned slut he should be in A!" Wrong. He couldn't be more vanilla, it's all an act and anyone with more than 3 spouses is just fucking lying at that point. Cmon, he may be a God, but deep inside that cowards octopussy is a love for the mundane.

D:

Heket - Controversial I know. But hear me out here. Heket has spent all her life getting fucked by life, she has literally no time for your stupid fleshy appendages, and to top it off she's the most desperately useless lesbian this side of the lands of the old faith. Renowned from Darkwood to Anchordeep, this bitch is fucking stupid when it comes to "rizzing a shawty" and it shows because she spends all her time yapping about the good ol' days. She's only slightly freakier than Kallamar because she's probably into being burned by cigarettes or some shit, but let's face facts. Inexperience guides this poor phrog into the D tier, despite her aversion to "D" to begin with.

Leshy - This stupid dumb stupid worm barely knows that sex exists, and if you asked him what his favourite position is he'd say "1st" and then promptly challenge you to a footrace. The God of Chaos has no time for ropes and rails, but he's at least got a good heart and is pretty gay for that cat. I've watched this stupid fucker get divorced in two different AU's because he couldn't live with the guilt, you think he's surviving post-nut clarity? No. Enough said, he's keeping it clean and calm in the bedroom, and that cat couldn't be happier about that considering his daily life is fucking mental. Keep the Chaos outside, inside? Domestic worm only.

C:

Goat - Now this is where it gets tricky, you might think that the gruff exterior of a mass murdering psychopath is enough to demonstrate a willingness to get tied upside down and spank the monkey till the sun don't shine. But brother, let me tell you, it ain't fuckin true. Don't get me wrong, this goat can fuck, and boy does he, but most of the time it's all bark no bite in the flirting department. Easily flustered, puts up an external image of punk-rock to hide that he's an utter cinnamon bun, the whole works. That being said, with a long term partner? Buckle up. That crown isn't dildo-purple for no reason, prepare for bliss and potential bliss-ters.

B:

Lamb - OKAY HOLD YOUR HORSES this is gonna be a tough one. You've gotta be thinking, that's either wayyy too high for this silly lil fella, or wayyy to low for this absolute cock devouring demon, but let me remind you, this one here is subjective. This is the only character I've seen written as everything from an asexual to a violent and sadistic cannibal, so what fairer rating than the exact middle? It truly does depends, if you're on your "cannibalism is routine and fun" shit then you're gonna be rocketing right up there, straight to S baby, unless you have some kind of twisted mentality you need checked by a licensed psychiatrist to somehow think that's tame; not to shame it mind you. But if you're more on the side of the lamb's that typically get posted by a cuter artist, than you're gonna be rocking a D or even an F. This little fuzzy fucker is traumatized, some type of gay no matter what, and certainly a wildcard, and what better way to celebrate that then with a middle-of-the-road approach? Besides, their most famous partner is certainly a bit more repressed, which leads us to:

A:

Narinder - Are we surprised? This fuzzy little furball has been trapped in prison for 1000 years with his two kids and NOTHING ELSE to do except hope he can get back on the market. The moment he's freed, it's gonna be hell unleashed, but thankfully 99% of the time he's either so angry or so oblivious it turns into a slowburn of passion with his fuzzy lil sheepguy that he definitely "doesn't" have a thing for. But, as the well versed know, this motherfucker has seen shit, and being the God of Death is gonna give you a weird taste in, well, "tastes" than a normal life will. I mean really, the guys fuckin surrounded by miserable dead people all day, he needs stress relief and his enthusiasm for revenge borders on the horny-sided. This guy fucks, but mostly gets fucked, and remains The One Who Bottoms in almost every AU. Cmon people, if you've read this far you've fuckin seen it with your own eyes, do I really to lecture about it more?

S:

The Mura™ - The fucker that started it all. I bet until now you thought I wouldn't include this loveable spider and awful mother-sibling of 4, but here we are. This goddamn spider has single-parented a family of genocidal psychopaths since history started being recorded, and to match that then had to almost literally kill one of their own brother-kid-things to save the others. Stressed and in need of relief? Check. You know what makes a motherfucker freaky? Repression, and this spider is goddamn dripping in it (pun intended) and is ready to burst. I myself may be a Shamura aroace truther, but if I have to put a letter on it, it's 100% in the universes where this spider fucks. Copulates, eats your head, kills your family mid-coitus, the whole shebang, but boy is that gonna be the best last nut you'll ever bust. This spider's an expert, literally the God of War and by God are they gonna wage war on your holes, not to mention ALSO being the God of Wisdom? I mean come on, somebody had to write the Kama Sutra, and it was this horny bastard

And that's it

You may have questions, you may have alternative takes, to be honest I'll probably change my mind the moment I hit post and remember that actually Heket deepthroated a glizzy on the 5th of October last year, but honestly? Who gives a shit. These gods be gay people, that's all that matters.

Goodnight, Lamb Bless, and may you never encounter The Mura during ovulation. Godspeed soldiers, amen.

[winderlylandchime]

We are on 3x06! 1/2 ‘HE IT PUTTING THE DRUGS IN THE TUSHY AGAIN!’ ‘Wait why are cops outside the clu- EW EW EW EW EW EW EW WHY WOULD THEY SHOW ME ETHAN AND JUSTIN IN THE TUB?!’ He put his hands over his face and fake gagged, now he knows how i feel. ‘I know another cool game you could play Justin, it’s called GO BACK TO BRIAN! Please tell me this concert is the thing that takes him OUT OF MY LIFE. Oh god *pauses tv fast* what if he stays around for another season?! I CANT DO THAT. He wishes Justin could be there? Why cant- oh right he’s straight now..A RING?! HE GOT HIM A RING?! Justin wipe that look off your face, Brian got you school tuition’ ‘what the fuck Brian? HES WORKING WITH A COP? Why are we getting so political? Ha brian hates it! Just like i do! Call him a twat and move on, HES ACTUALLY GOING TO WORK WORK WITH HIM?’ He paused the tv and went out to smoke. He is clearly feeling a certain way about Stockwell/Brian. ‘MY ASS he built model airplanes as a kid. (Stockwell says he doesn’t mind the truth even if Brian uses it as an assault weapon)…oh damn that’s actually kinda good description of him at times but i don’t wanna agree with a cop so fuck you. DUDE STOP HELPING HIM WIN VOTES! WHAT THE FUCK? I get he loves money and power and its his job or whatever but this is just ew. There’s no way he’d help him, i mean he hates *points to himself* heteros’ ‘AH ITS BRI AND JUSTIN!! no he saw the ring, BRIAN I SWEAR IT MEANS NOTHING! HE KNOWS ROMANCE, he just struggles with it.‘ ‘fuck even Bens intervention is boring. MIKE DONT FALL FOR THIS BULLSHIT.’ ‘BRIAN CMON WHY ARE YOU HELPING A COP? I mean i know we all have our flaws but i thought we agreed his was dancing?! (Brian tells the camera guy to keep filming stockwell bc abs) ha! His whole work strategy is “make it gay” respect. (Stockwell looks back at Brian after he calls him tom cruise) Is he gay? He gives of a *does the gay wrist bent thing* certain vibe’ Justin and Daphne show up during the interview ‘COUSIN?! GIRLFRIEND?! COUSIN?…Daphne hate him even more now, please. YES DAPHNE, BRIAN NEVER DID THAT! YES HE DID HAVE HIS ENTIRE FUTURE CAREER AT- ARE YOU DUMB?! DID WE FORGET PARTNER, VERMONT?! Go Daphne!! HE ALMOST DIED!!! YES DALHNE HATE HIM! BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!’ ‘AH JEN! MY GIRL JEN! She’s so pretty, why cant i get more of Jen? (ted and ems neighbor describes the neighborhood) fuck, I wish Brian was here, he would actually vomit at the idea of living in a place like this.’ ‘Okay who cares about Ben, give me Brian!’ Literally a second later stockwells ad shows ‘OH COME ON! I cant have a god damn thing going for me on this show! HE IS LITERALLY DESCRIBING BRIAN! THIS MAN WOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK IF HE KNEW THE REAL BRIAN! BRIAN CANT YOU SEE THIS BULLSHIT, oh please turn him into a joke Bri! bullshit! How can he not see that he is literally against what and who Brian is’ the scene where Ben pushes Brian is about to happen! ‘Oh Benny Ben, you got caught! Wait why did his dad say 3 times 7? He made him do math? What an ass. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?! HE JUST PUSHED HIM! AND CALLED HIM A WHORE AND IS ANGRY THAT HE ISNT POSITIVE?! DUDE FUCK YOU! DONT SLUT SHAME! We’re all just vibin *does that surfer/thumb-pinky finger symbol with his hand* and you are ruining the vibes! WHY WOULD THEY IMMEDIATELY AFTER SHOW ME ETHAN BLOWING JUSTIN?! SO I GOTTA SEE BRI GET HURT PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY? *mocks Ethan in a childish voice* it was the interview. Well congratulations sherlock! You sure are one step away from being the new cop in town (justin asks if from now on itll be lies and immediately pauses tv)WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! I thought that was some shit only Brian could do, oh wait no. Bri AWAYS TELLS IT HOW IT IS! please go on a world tour, i will literally buy all the tickets just for you to go. HE HAD AN AMAZING LIFE WITH BRIAN! He is so jealous of Brian, its sad. I swear he competes with him every second of his day. I get Justin needed a new boyfriend or whatever for some reason that im sure is *waves his hands* somewhere BUT DID IT HAVE TO BE ETHAN?’

Justin wipe that look off your face, Brian got you school tuition IS SUCH A MOOD. Tuition >>>> cheap tacky ring

I am living for his reaction to Stockwell. He's so right.

Even Ben's intervention is boring - LOL

His reaction to Daphne is everything. We love Daph.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?! HE JUST PUSHED HIM! AND CALLED HIM A WHORE AND IS ANGRY THAT HE ISNT POSITIVE?! DUDE FUCK YOU! DONT SLUT SHAME! I couldn't have said it better myself. I have probably screamed the exact same things at my screen.

Did it have to be Ethan - YES! this exactly. They were cruising for a break up, fine, I get it, story arc etc. But Ethan is so unbelievable. Also your brother screaming about how Brian always told the truth. I am dyinnnngggg about it.

[hellishgoat]

Fanfiction would you rather?

Tagged by @radellama thanks man!! This was a lot of fun :’D now … good luck on the read through of this xD

Friends to lovers or enemies to lovers?

Oh easy. Friends to lovers I am SUCH a sucker for that tbh. It’s always awesome! It’s the BOND 😭

Tho enemies to lovers is also cool it’s got a good flare to it…. But I gotta agree I kinda don’t want that baggage attached to it xD can be frustrating if not done well.

Be forced to watch a terrible movie adaptation of your favorite fic or an amazing adaptation of your least favorite fic?

Ah oh my god this is so hard…. Idk my gut says to go with the terrible adaptation xD because then at least weeeellll if it sucks I still have my fave fic to go back to lol and if the sucky one gets a movie that rules? I would be too butthurt and stubborn to admit it xD plus at least I could also make fun of the terrible adaptation that’s a good pastime I spoooose

Read fanfic chapters backwards, last to first, or read them as parsed from google translate?

Ahm backwards I’ve tried the google translate with fics before and it’s seriously not great xD

Consume every fanfic as an audiobook read by a monotone narrator, or have to read every fanfic on a tiny printed piece of paper written in yellow highlighter?

Narrator, I’d never be able to read it with YELLOW HIGHLIGHTER that’s not even cool xD

Get a tattoo on your body of every fanfic title you read, or never read fanfic again?

Get a tattoo, not that I couldn’t live without fics, but like I’ve seen some damn epic titles that would work perfectly (plus some are lyrics and like cmon who wouldn’t want some lyrics from like SENTENCED (😉) on them!)

Vampire Au or Werewolf Au?

Ahmmmm I never really read either of these but werewolf. Werewolves are awesome xD 10/10 creatures

Get sold to a boy band, or be stuck in a time loop with your love interest?

TIME LOOP TIME LOOP!! Plus the boy band would return me xD

Kill your favorite character, or marry your least favorite character?

Oh marry. I would take that burden so my fave can live xD it’s what they deserve. And who knows maybe … I could learn to live with my least fave…..unfortunately I am already thinking of who that would be xD urgh not sure I could survive xD

Meet your love interest in a coffe shop AU or a college AU?

Ahmmmm college Au? Both aren’t much my cup of tea lol but I will give it a look

Have your fic history leaked, or never read another fanfic again?

Have it leaked lmao you guys can enjoy the epic thousand rereads xD

And honestly yea I agree I would absolutely LOVE to find some fics I read back in the day xD

Be able to read amazing fanfiction but it always has an mpreg plot twist, or only read bad fanfiction for the rest of your life?

……mpreg? I can deal with it sometimes … idk this one is tough cause I have some major gripes with mpreg. But I won’t get into that xD

Gay ships or straight ships?

Both??? If it’s an interesting dynamic Imma read it no matter what xD

Ship a rarepair with almost no content, or a pair with lots of content but almost all of it is cracky nightmare smut?

Ship a rare pair baby!!! Get yourself a lil rowboat and find your pal who will help you set sail with it xD that’s all ya need! Plus I don’t think I could mentally handle the cracky nightmare smut, well maybe I could xD

See your OTP shatter years after their happily ever after, or never have the happily ever after happen in the first place? 

Never have had the happily ever after.

Because if they had that happily ever after? There would be no shattering they are that perfect xD

Read a poorly written but complete fanfic, or a literary masterpiece last updated June 2013?

Literary masterpiece. There was this one Star Trek writer? Their fic never got finished and like they haven’t been online in … almost a decade 😅 but let me tell you it was some of the best shit I had ever read in my life. The drama was perfect, the characters amazing!!! And even tho it wasn’t finished it had so much that I can just sorta forget that part xD

Read SSSS++++ tier smut with almost 11k words, or 70k words worth of fluff?

BOTH BOTH CMON BOTH

Read only alternate universe fanfics, or only canon fanfics?

Au’s??? I think???? I would wanna do some exploring since I already have the canon right there lol and I think it can be done really well. Sometimes tho yea absolutely it is 100% out of character and weird xD

Introduce fanfics to your normie friend with an ongoing smut fic with great writing, or a complete fluff fic with terrible writing?

Smut fic xD I’d be all yo dude look at this epicness and they would have to fall in love plain and simple.

Read your NOTP with all your favorite tropes and perfect characterization, or your OTP with tropes you despise and inconsistent characterization?

Notp, hell it could make me like them (unless it is a certain one I have in mind lmao)

But I don’t think my heart could take seeing HORRIBLE tropes and characterization to my faves 😅

Read a fic with an interesting concept but very poor writing, or read a fic with an uninteresting concept with really good writing?

Honestly yea, both, I could handle them xD

Have a major character death, or have a bed sharing scene but it's a ship you hate?

Major character death…… it can be done super well so even tho I was crying about it earlier xD I will read it xD

Read a fanfic that has consistent grammar and spelling mistakes, or one that the characters are wildly different than canon?

Grammar and spelling mistakes??? 😅

Every fanfic includes Jackson Wang, or every fanfic includes at least one NSFW moment?

Idk who the hell jackson wang is. But like cmon ain’t nothing wrong with nsfw moments so I would go for that in a heart beat xD

Read the most absolutely messed up dead dove with your most wholesome otp, or subject yourself to 100,000 words of your NOTP all written in a solid block with no punctuation and horrible grammar?

Dead dove? 😅

Have the power to read every fanfic in existence, or have the power to make any ship canon?

Make them canon baby!

Have your OTP get together in canon but one of them dies in a tragic way, or all members of your OTP survive but get together with other people?

Both are too painful and I’ve read both

I can’t choose this!! 😭😭😭

Read a cringy 70 chapter Harry Styles mafia AU, or a highschool Kpop AU y/n fic horrible grammar?

…. Kpop fic? Idk xD

Accidentally send your boss a super detailed smut fic, or read a super detailed smut fic about your boss?

Read it about my boss, it’s not like I would have to tell them I read it xD and then I could just burn it from my head xD plus if I sent them smut I might die

Read smut fanfic aloud to your parents, or submit fanfic to the employer of your dream job?

Fanfic to my parent…. Tho I don’t exactly have a dream job soooo Hrmm tough call here lol

Pine after an oblivious love interest, or be the oblivious love interest being pined after?

Be the one being pined after xD

Hanahaki disease, or your soulmates first words to you tattooed on your body (and they're really stupid)?

Idk what the hell hanahaki disease is xD so I’ll go soulmates

Be an Alpha, Beta, or Omega in omegaverse?

Oh cmon xD I don’t wanna answe- ALPHA!

Read a fanfic where the characters turn into furries, or a fanfic where the characters all get pregnant?

Furries…. I’m intrigued on what they would be and how that could be xD

Be able to resurrect dead fics, or have the power to create of plethora of new fics effortlessly?

The power to create! I have so many ideas but honestly I’m not a good writer at allll xD so it’s kind of a bummer!

Tagging .. @fonulyn @astarkey @tatsueli @welshbaes @mikey-putrid @kuukigajan …. I stg I’m forgetting everyone’s blog names now lmao it’s been so long since I’ve actually done a tag game 😅 BUT if I didn’t tag you and you wanna do this? Just go right on ahead and say I tagged ya 😘

[coffecatsandbooks]

Hung over in a hotel room, cell phones dead. You streatched out next to me. Lost somewhere in a dark whiskey dream.

Steve stirred a bit and groaned flipping over to feel a warm body next to him. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly to see his partner Danny lying there, streatched out- naked.

He ran his hands through his hair and grabbed his phone to check the time, but it was dead and as he looked, he realized he had no charger, but there was a bottle of whiskey. A couple by the looks of it and last night started to come back to him slowly and he smiled. After all this time he and Danny can finally be together. After all the pinning and wanting and longing.

Hung over in a hotel room call the concierge, two bloody Mary's and some cigerettes so you can wake up to breakfast in bed, hear your voice in my head, "hey when you gonna come pick me up? You always say we're gonna burn it down. If you wanna baby call me back. Call me back maybe we can out."

His head was pounding, but he grabbed the hotel phone and ordered two bloody Mary's (his Aunt Deb always said they worked when it came to hang over) and ordered him and Danny some food so when Danny woke, he'd be woken up to breakfast in bed. He wanted Danny to know he cared. He wanted Danny to know that he wanted to make this work.

He slid his legs off the side of the bed and pulled on some boxers, grabbing the pack of cigarettes off the wooden nightstand he stood up and walked out onto the balcony lighting one up. He rarely smoked, but he was nervous for what might come. What if Danny hated last night? What if he didn't like him the way Steve did? Steve had never bared his soul nor his heart to someone like the way he did last night. As the ocean breeze came up and attacked him, he closed his eyes reminiscing.

He and Danny were in the office late and after Chin Ho left bidding his goodbyes, Steve stood up and streatched deciding to go to Danny's office to see if he wanted any take out.

He knocked and after hearing Danny's grunt he entered. "Hey man you want anything? We can get take out or-" Steve breathed in deciding to be bold. "We can head back to my place and get something and watch a movie?"

Danny sighed. "I was going to pamper myself tonight but sure."

Steven laughed. "Don't let me stop you, I was just wondering." He felt his heart deflate a bit.

"Well I have a hotel room booked. I was going to surprise Grace for her birthday, but she's older now and wanted to hang out with friends tonight." Danny frowned. "She gets older everyday and it breaks my heart a little everyday."

Steve agreed. That girl was something and was destined for greater things. "She'll always be your little girl Danno."

That made Danny smile and gave Steve a bit more confidence for his next question. "Well hey since you don't want it to go to waste me and you can always burn it down. You know that."

"Burn it down? Did you know that's what the kids are now saying? It's another term for sex." Danny scrunched his nose and it took everything Steve had not to go up and kiss him.

"I did not know that, but what do you say?" Steve opened his arms.

"I don't know." Danny fished into his pockets and pulled out a key card. "You can go though. I doubt I'll join you though."

Steve felt like he'd been stabbed. Fuck feelings, he thought bitterly. Why does Danny insist I have them? They've just given me pain.

"Okay well let me know if you change your mind," he sighs. "Imma go ahead and head out. Night brah."

"Goodnight McGarrett."

Steve went back to his office closing everything down and was eventually walking out of the building and climbing into his car, heading straight to the hotel.

Steve doesn't know what changed Danny's mind but as he was pulling up his cell rang and he answered. "McGarrett."

"Hey come back and pick me up if it's not too late. You always say we're gonna burn it down and I never join you. But I want to forget the fact that my little girl is growing up and I want to forget my name tonight. Please. I'm tired." He heard Danny whine and Steve smiled.

"On the way buddy."

Hungover in a hotel room slide the curtains back. Light up the morning on the balcony. Look at your stirring in the shadows and sheets. Last night on repeat.

When he was done with that cigrette he threw it off the balcony and heard a knock at the door. He opened it and in came a cart with food and bloody Mary's. He tipped the consierge and pushed the cart over to the end of the bed.

He went back over to the balcony and slid the soft burgundy curtains back to let the sun shine through hoping Danny would wake up to that, but until then he went back onto the balcony and lit up another.

The sun shined at the bottom of Danny's toned calves and up to his torso, but his back and head were covered with the shadows.

Steve watched as he stirred a bit, his muscles bulging as he stretched out. He lifted his head and if he was doubting the fact they had sex it would have been debunked due to the sex hair and fact that as Danny moved the light caught his back and scratches littered it. Danny had his turn on Steve it seemed and couldn't help but think back again.

Danny and Steve had arrived back at the hotel checking in with a stash of Jack Daniels in their grocery bags and some other conventiant store bought whiskey that they had never even heard of. When they opened to room 704, they put a sign on the door and Danny chuckled from behind Steve and put an arm on his shoulder. Steve could feel himself caving to the touch and had to stop himself.

"Why do I feel like a teenager all over again?" Danny whispered into Steves ear and Steve had to stiffen to keep from shuddering. Fuck Danny just didn't realize what he did to Steve.

"Well you can sometimes look like one Williams," Steve complimented and opened the bags twisting the lids off the whiskey bottles and upturning the Jack Daniels.

The liquor burned going down and as he set the bottle back down, he could feel himself loosening up. "It's good."

Danny was giving him that disapproving look. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Steven you're an animal! You just upturned that whole bottle and put your lips all over the top. That's gross."

"You're a woman you know."

At that Danny glared. "I am not a woman. I'm just respectable."

Steven thrusted the bottle into Danny's hands. "Woman," he said in a sing-song voice.

A little while later and whole bottle and a half of Jack Daniels later, they were both pretty drunk. Danny more than Steve which wasn't a surprise as Steve could hold down pretty much anything.

They were sitting up in the bed and watching some old football game, but neither really cared as they were both too lost in their conversation to care.

"I'm not seeing anyone I swear!" Steve was saying.

"Okay but someone must have your attention at least!" Danny practically shrieked and Steve laughed putting his hand over Danny's mouth.

"Shut up! You're going to get us both in trouble. And yes if you must know, someone does have my attention." He lowered his hand and took a big swing of whiskey.

"She mus' be a luck lady." Danny was saying, but he sort of slurred the words a bit. "I think I need to stop."

Steve nodded. "You're slurring now so yes. And yeah." It could have been the whiskey that gave him the balls to say the next thing, but it could of also been the fact that their shoulders were touching or that he was so tired of not having anyone to talk to about his feelings or it could've been a mixture of all three. He's going for the latter, but- "Yeah, he is a lucky guy."

Danny whipped his head around. "You're gay!?"

Steve looked down, now more interested in the bottle than anything. "Bi actually."

He felt Danny soften beside him. "Oh Steve. No I didn't mean it like that just- does anyone else know?"

He shook his head and felt the tears threaten, but pushed them back. If he was ever good at anything, it was hiding his emotions. "No. The realization was sudden and I should of seen it before, but I didn't and so."

"Wow so he is special for you to realize you like men too. Why haven't you asked him out?" Danny questioned and Steve could feel his innocent eyes on him. Sometimes Danny could be so clueless.

"I think he's straight." Steve confessed and took another swig, but as the bottle left his lips, Danny grabbed it and took another one as well.

"You'll never know if you don't ask. Maybe he's only gay for you too. Cmon Steven you're not afraid of anything. This should be nothing for you! I mean look at you," Danny pushed himself up and turned his body to face him. Steve lifted his head up to look Danny in the eyes. "You have the body of a fucking Hawaiian God and if this guy knows you at all then he also knows you're a sap on the inside. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Just ask McGarrett. Worse comes to worse he says no and that's his loss. Besides- you always have me. Does anyone else really matter?"

Steve laughed. "Yeah Danno I always have you."

"There you go! Now the next time you see him I want you to March right up to him and ask him on a date. In fact I dare you. Triple dog dare you." Danny tilted the bottle to his lips and gulped down a good bit of the whiskey. "'S all you gotta do buddy."

Steven grabbed the bottle again drinking the rest of the bottle. "You're right. I should."

"'Atta boy!"

"So Danny-"

"Yes Steve?"

"Will you go out on a date with me?"

Danny looked up quickly. "What? Me? Why?"

"I like you duh." And this is where the alcohol kicked in. "Liked you a long time Danno. Prolly too long."

"I'm your special guy??" Danny asked incredulously.

Steven nodded. "Yup yup yup."

"I just- but I can't- why?"

Steve looked very confused as to why Danny didn't realize this. "Well because if you must know I have fallen for you. Hard. Like really hard. So hard I think I've hurt myself. You're kind, great father, badass, not to mention hot when you're angry-"

Steve doesn't know what compelled Danny to then lay a fat one on him, but he did and boy Danny's lips were softer and more scruffy that he imagined and he loved it.

Then it was room 704 hang the sign on the door, Gucci falling on the floor with the lights down low. Dancing in the dark, body killing me, throwing off sparks lay it back baby anything goes. Spent the whole night last night all messed up, making love. Girl I swear I've never felt this good. Waking up, Hungover in a hotel room.

The rest of the night was blur. He remembers asking Danny why and Danny replying with because I think I like you a lot too and the kiss deepened and clothes got thrown and love was made. He made sure Danny was comfortable and okay with it all before he completely went in on him and from what he can remember it was soft and slow and passionate, the first time around. The second time they got more greedy and fucked senseless and the third was when Danny got to try on top.

Everything about last night was hot, heavy, and passionate. And Steve didn't want it to end.

Danny stirred again, this time sitting up in bed and Steve put his cigarettes out, placing it out on the balcony table, walking back inside and closing the patio doors.

"Well good morning good looking," Danny whistled lowly, his raspy morning voice coming out thick and Steve thought about anything and everything other than the fact that he wanted to fuck him senseless right now with that voice.

"I got use breakfast," he grabbed a tray handing it to Danny and he got the other one, setting it on the night stand and then grabbed the bloody Mary's handing one to Danny. "Aunt Deb says it always helps get rid of hangover headaches."

Danny shrugged sipping it and then giving it a dirty look. "I hate these."

Steven nodded, "me too."

They are in silence and once they were finished Danny looked at Steve again. Headaches now gone he felt as though he could think clearly. "I could get used to this. You, me, hotel rooms with breakfast in bed."

Steve laughed and looked Danny up and down. "I suppose I could get used to seeing you naked all the time."

"So are we going to try this?" Danny asked after a moment.

"I would like to if you would." Steve said.

Danny gave him a devious smirk. "On one condition."

Steve looked at Danny with raised eyebrows. "That is?"

"You tell me how exactly you fell for me."

"Well I tried to last night and then your kiss kinda distracted me," he leaned close to Danny.

Danny leaned in too, brushing his lips across Steves. "Really? Well we don't want that happening again do we?"

Steve smiled. "Actually I think I do," and then kissed him so passionately that the force nearly knocked them apart.

There's that smile driving me wild. Call the front desk make check out requests, no better yet book it for another night. Then it was room 704 hang the sign on the door, Gucci falling on the floor with the lights down low. Dancing in the dark, body killing me, throwing off sparks lay it back baby anything goes. Spent the whole night last night all messed up, making love. Girl I swear I've never felt this good. Waking up, Hungover in a hotel room.

Danny layed on top of Steve naked, both with swollen lips, unable to detach themselves from each other. Steves hands had made their way into Danny's hair and once Danny bit Stevens bottoms lip, he let out a growl and tugged on his hair. Danny gasped grinding his dick on Steves but the fabric of his boxers were getting in the way.

"Why did you put these on?" Danny whimpered.

"Couldn't go outside naked babe." They kept kissing and Danny finally pulled back a bit.

"We need to make check out requests Steve, I can't really afford another night and we can finish this at your place really." Danny said and Steven rolled his eyes.

"Fuck it, I'll pay for another night. Let's book it for another night." He pulled Danny closer to him and massaged his scalp. "How's that sound?"

Danny smiled and it drove Steve up the wall. He wanted to see that smile on Danny's face all the time. "God you drive me fucking wild," Steve grunted and flipped Danny over onto his back and Steve pulled off his boxers tossing them to the floor. "Where were we?"

Danny wrapped his arms around Steves neck and kissed him slowly which threw off sparks throughout the room. The energy in the room was filled with nothing but love and lust and Steve ate it up. This was all he ever wanted and he was going to be damned if anyone ruined it. Fuck work and responsibilities today. Today and tonight was going to be for Danny and he was going to shower him in pleasure and ravish his body like a true prince.

"Make love to me again babe," Danny rasped out inbetween kisses.

"With pleasure," Steve replied softly.

And that's just what they did.

[iangallagherz]

I have way to many ideas for this au now idk which ones are best this will just be a spiel but: •Oliver pretends that he hasn’t found anything, at first it was because he wanted to discover the rest of the royal family on his own, but slowly it turns into him wanting to protect ahk from being taken away •Ahk follows him around while he explores the tomb more,very curious about how everything works, and oliver enjoys his presence and (like joe) enjoys to babble on about everything with passion

^^^ me rn ohhh my god. where do i!! begin!! i love this so much!!!

ok so first of all, oli def doesn’t want to anyone to find out about ahk or his fam i agree. he wants to be the one who finds them and be the one who gets all the credit for one of (if not THE) biggest archaeological finds of the century. ahk himself was already a pretty big find but a whole royal family?? that could literally be brought back to life. that and he really wants to be the only here getting all the info he can outta ahk. BUT YEAH his thirst for knowledge very quickly turns to thirst for a very pretty pharaoh lol who can blame him. also yes!! ahk is very fascinated with the advancements civilization has made since he’s been dead/entombed and oli’s real happy to show them to him. and also?? ahk would be more than happy to listen to oli prattle on about anything and everything. it’s all highly entertaining. i also think he’d be really flattered to know someone studied his family as religiously as oli does, and also be real flattered to see how awestruck oli is by him. 

sdsvfsdf that kiss!! adorable!! im :”””) congrats ahk you finally figured out a way to shut that boy up (not that he doesn’t love hearing oli rant but still) and oli’s not gonna complain anytime soon. oli is def one of those “im married to my work” sorta boys so this is probably his first kiss and honestly who could be a better first kiss than ahkmenrah?? nobody that’s who. god it would be so sweet, ahk with one hand spread along oli’s jaw and one on his hip while he kisses him ughgh and oli would be so unsure of what to do with his hands before he just settles for awkwardly putting them on ahk’s shoulders. someone please save him. you kno tho that after that, kissing ahk becomes a new favourite hobby of his. he always tries to come up with some excuse for it so he doesn’t seem like a sap or whatever but ahk already Knows. but hey, he loves it so is he gonna complain? no. i also think he’d get a real kick out of how hot and bothered oli gets just from a light make out session, which brings us to The Do. ahk would be dragging oli’s clothes the entire time and you know it. “this fabric is terrible. how do you wear it?” “ahk, i think you’re just mad at the buttons.” “i am Not. i’m not. even the color is horrid. and–” and then oli shuts HIM up this time by kissing him and undoing his buttons while he does it. and oh my god ahk’s clothes?? look Big Sexy on ahk but how hard they are for oli to peel off of him? that’s not big sexy. clothes gotta be fashionable and functional and the fact that oli can’t get them off of his boy without a struggle means they are Not functional. also i agree ahk tries to be sexy about it but resident gay virgin disaster oli couldn’t be anything BUT awkward and i think that what starts the giggles would be oli getting too excited and he ends up knocking their heads together when he rushes up to kiss ahk. i think ahk probably bottoms because it’s real obvious oli’s a virgin and ahk really doesn’t wanna overwhelm him here, and honestly oli almost nuts immediately as soon as he gets it in but it’s fine, they have a great time. when they’re laying there afterwards, limbs all askew and everything, ahk jus breaks the silence with, “your clothes really are ghastly.” and it just sends oli into a fit of laughter. 

anon i love how you send all this cute shit and then finish it with some angst potential. feels good, feels organic. i love it. anyway but it definitely would be something that would weigh heavy on oli because as much as he loves ahk, he realistically can’t just leave his home and family to live in a foreign country with his prince, no matter how much he wants to. can he? and i think ahk would be bothered to know oli was considering leaving his family just to stay with him bc ahk strikes me as the sort who cares very much about family. and from what he’s told him, oli’s got a great family so he can’t understand why he’d want to leave. and i think he also wouldn’t be happy to leave his own parents, even if it meant every night waking up alone. it’s def probably something that causes some fighting between them. and ykno i don’t think they’d be able to make a decision bc what if the team in the movie comes (ykno, the ones who find ahk’s tomb and tablet in the movie) and ahk ends up being taken to cambridge like he does in the movie. oli would be devastated (esp if the last convo they have before that happens is an argument abt oli staying or leaving) about it and do anything he can to try and follow along but cmon, he can’t move to england and spend his nights breaking into a university to see ahk. i think he’d try, but it just wouldn’t happen. imagine how distraught ahk would be the first night he wakes up during transport and he’s stuck in his sarcophagus and oli isn’t dozing beside him. he’d probably think oli left him and went back home :”””)))

ouch i just made myself sad but anon ily and i would die for you ty for all of this Good Content.

[theaxisofidiocy]

Yo this is not an informational post. This is an emotional rant based on things Ive heard and not confirmed. Just a psa

So I love stranger things two and the more I think about it the more I love Billy Hargrove and want to see his character broken down and put through some interesting development in future. Trouble is, this simple desire is apparently highly controversial on the tungl dot come because of the demand for  ideological purity and teenagers with no dissociation between fiction and reality being given an anonymous internet megaphone to broadcast their frustration with the world. I’m no stranger to such anti fandom discourse, I tend to like dark characters and ship dark ships (where dark = problematic) so Im used to the whole “ew gross these people are horrible bigoted nazi pedo[hile abusive dog shit lumps because arbitrary fiction opinion” thing though I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’m a pretty sensitive person so yea sometimes it hurts but whatever that’s my problem rationally I know that none of this matters. love isn’t real. death is certain. embrace the void.

 So anyway Billy. Oh Billy. My dear sweet sweet self destructive asshole trainwreck of a baby boy. Important to note is that I did not love him immediately. At first  I hated him. He seemed really obnoxious and pointless. Then the last episode happened. We’ll talk more about that later.

I started to get into the Billy and harringrove fandom subset a bit and let myself hope for character development. Then I heard that apparently the creators of the show have confirmed that they’re not going anywhere with Billy’s character because he’s just the new villain. um....ok....what

(i haven’t actually been able to find the source for this but hey im a pessimist so lets just assume it’s true while staying open to it being false. wow what a concept. mental flexibility.)

And I know there are a lot of fans who would like this as well, for Billy to just be the one dimensional villain and hopefully be brutally killed off as soon as possible.

And I gotta tell you guys...that is just terrible writing.

Like I said I hated him at first. He was mean and obnoxious and had a stupid mullet and did nothing of value and why was he even here? Apart from obviously being meant to contrast with Steve to prove how much better he is now which...cmon...did we really need that? Do we not have eyeballs? It felt stupid and condescending and I was truly annoyed everytime he came on screen. Gradually I became intrigued by just how fixated on Steve billy seemed to be. That was weird. Didn’t know what to make of it. Then episode 9 happened.

so hey any writers out there, if you want me to all out hate and not care about a character who you only meant to be a one dimensional villain, here’s what you dont do; you dont contextualize his behavior in a relatable and sympathetic way. Revealing his father’s abuse made soooo many things about Billy suddenly make sense. It even painted some in a new light as I looked back and realized just how self destructive most of his actions are. A lot of people also began reading him as gay, which Im not so sure of since tv loooves to queerbait, but I do agree it’s a perfectly logical interpretation of what we’ve seen. The whole scene was a giant “ooooooohhhhh” moment. With that little piece of context as to Billy’s perspective on his family (that he fears his father, that he is responsible for Max under threat of violence and thus resents her, etc) his character suddenly became...an actual character. An interesting character, that I want to see more of.

I cant for the life of me think why they decided to add this scene if they intended Billy to be a flat villain that we’re not supposed to care about. It utterly baffles me. Why? Why would you do that? This show is full of amazing, complex characters whose entire appeal is that they feel real and have flaws. So why would you add another one, but tell us that he’s not supposed to be complex or real and we’re just supposed to hate him and accept him as the dull bully villain?

I hope to god that these things Ive heard aren’t true because if they are I have a sinking feeling that the writing in this show is about to take a nosedive.

[herestoyoumsholly]

dctv :)

(Okay these aren’t in any real order)

5. Stop telling me women ‘Have to die to keep the universe intact’ I’m so tired of this. Like, I may have gotten shitty women representation in my trashy YA novels/shows but AT LEAST I dealt with less shitty writers patting themselves on the back over why a woman HAD to stay dead. Y’all can bring back White Boy Vandal Savage (Yes, I’m calling him that because this is the first time I’ve ever seen him be...not at least slightly tan (Remember he was a Neanderthal in comics, which IIRC they had lightish skin)) Damien Dark, Hawkman, and Eobard Thawne all you want, but NOO, I gotta hear all about how Miranda, Nora Allen**, Shado*, Taiana*, and Laurel all had to die ‘for the greater good’.

*THEY DIDN’T EVEN DIE IN THE COMICS

**Neither did she until stupid ass Geoff Johns ‘Barry Allen doesn’t have enough tragedy in his life-no his wife ‘dying’, him dying, his kids dying doesn’t count. retconned it.

4. Yeah, I kinda have to agree that Flashpoint deserved more episodes. It just did.

3. Stop using Batman villains, Arrow. I was okay with Deathstroke because it’s fuckin Deathstroke and you got a great dude to play him. (Although how the hell was Grant white in that future episode??? LOL???) And I can forgive Suicide Squad because tying that in with Diggle and Lyta made sense and was all around a good move. But it’s just...GA has great villians. Komodo, Onomatopoeia (Seriously WTF is he???), Fuckin Rich PeopleTM, Constintine Drakon, etc. You don’t NEED Ra’s Al Ghul or any a’ that crap. Also Tobias Church was wasted.

2. I’m gonna put ‘Stop killing/shoving off’ PoC/LGBT/Ladies/Jewish characters with ‘Give them some GD respect and proper storylines’. Cmon. Really. Let them have the spotlight every once in awhile. And let the gay couples kiss onscreen. Cmon.

1. I’M NOT putting the ‘whitewashing and the other related bullshit’ in the same category, though. Because as much as 2 infuriates me, I have to deal with that in other shows. I s2g I have never seen this much whitewashing/making CoC heroes into villains as much as this show. Like, most of it is blatently obvious, like Cindy should be Rroma, Linda Park is Korean, Ra’s Al Ghul is Chinese, etc. But see, I’m a comic fan. So I notice OTHER bullshit like Al Rothstein is Jewish, Taiana is Fijian, and Carter is half Cherokee. It all just piles up into one big mess. (And really, you uh, couldn’t get Egyptians to play Kendra, Carter, and Vandal to play them in the past? Not even have the excuse of ‘Vandal’s white because he’s ALSO reincarnated?) Also, stop using the excuse of ‘this is a different version’. No, you casting a white passing Latina as a biracial Vietnamese character (and then turning it around and saying “Well, I KNOW we said repeatedly that we were basing her on YJ Artemis, but we’ve changed our minds and are now giving her (the sole non main woman and 2nd woman in the cast) the betrayal plot so she’s a bad guy, like her white comic book counterpart!”), a Chinese woman should not be playing a Korean AND a Japanese woman (And also you can’t say ‘We didn’t want to do the male villain because he’s a rapist’ because the TTGO! cartoon still uses him. If a kid’s show can detach itself some stupid aspects of canon so can you) who’s now suddenly a villain. And White Canary is Chinese. You know it’s bullshit.

[verydeepthots]

funny silly lines

“my homie said you gotta write eloquently for catfish you better finesse that english language for them lovely ladies and bitch ni99as”

“my homie said lloyd banks said you gotta pop a listerine strip before you get all up in a bitch face”

“my homie said some of these bitch ni99as gotta watch The Craft to see what happens to foul play”  

“my homie said any dude that love poker too much don’t like sex he always wanna cover up”

“my homie said he bought his mom groceries... today was a good day”

“my homie said they can’t even fly away with them flaps between their legs”

“my homie said put that indie film Suicide Watch on that summer jam screen”

“my homie said even when a gangster angry he look scared”

“my homie said he wanna use red tape for foreplay with a fake gangster’s mother”

“my homie said he gonna tie a fake gangster hands with red tape and make him pray to a god of another religion”

“my homie said he gonna send fake gangsters pictures of their dead mothers to always stay connected”

“my homie said he wanna write suicide hotline on fake gangsters forehead in gold posca”

“my homie said he wanna hang snake ni99a from a tree using a real snake so it look like a natural death”

“my homie said fake gangsters remind him of childs play he wanna collect them all then play barbies with jail cell”

“my homie said to be blunt these fake gangsters are pointless”

“my homie said he gonna make fake gangsters wash their undies using their mother’s tears”

“my homie said how fake gangsters leave their mothers like that clearly didn't watch game 6″

“my homie said when they squeeze you out then you squeeze them in the world perfect like that”

“my homie said he sends love letters to fake gangsters then gets their mothers to sign them with the kindest regards in strictly faber castell”

“my homie said he makes reservations for a fake gangster at the jail cell and the graveyard so he can always meet them at the finish line... i always got you”

“my homie said he wanna give a fake gangster a headlock coz its the only way they gonna close it when he splits it open”

“my homie said he wanna ravage a fake gangster ass coz its technically not gay if he uses 1.5m metal cock extension he got the all clear from lgbt community”

“my homie said he still shakes enemy hands out of curiosity for what dick size they can handle for the next 50 odd years stuck in a jail cell... he's so futuristic”

“my homie said he bought a fake gangster’s mom baggy jean shorts for her birthday so they can mix n match together”

“my homie said they use more cover ups than a bitch now watch my rap flow wash em away”

“my homie said he took his parents out to dinner on a boring tuesday coz he's getting old and life is precious”

“my homie said he drinks green tea every sunday morning its his new thing”

“my homie said he didn't cry at his homie’s wedding and it still annoys him to this day”

“my homie said his friend’s kids look happy and that’s a good thing”

“my homie said that ni99a bitch went to handsome boy modelling school thats foul”

“my homie said that girl’s outfit is very considered for a sunday afternoon she's cool”

“my homie said he bought a fake gangster bootlegs to complete the whole personification of a needy bitch”

“my homie said if they like drip drip torture they should ask their girl”

“my homie said pinch a fake gangster on the ass and whisper they’ll never believe you when you get inside”

“my homie said he gonna bathe a fake gangster’s mother with holy water to let him know exactly what time it is boy boy”

“my homie said that a fake gangster is saving face so he can get skull fucked in jail” 

“my homie said he wanna make his mother proud and be dentist when he grow up so he can pull out a fake gangster’s grill to make it easier for him to get skull fucked to make it a smoove transition omg he always so thoughtful”

“my homie said even if they time travel they can’t keep up when he slow play”

“my homie said he gonna bring a ginger beer keg to a gangster funeral”

“my homie said a gangster suicide still cheaper than weekly groceries tight arses”

“my homie said he made a car crew drive around with helmets on they either shit scared or doing juggernaut cosplay and unfortunately won’t make menswear blog this week”

“my homie said there’s always bad apples so we gonna make them crumble”

“my homie said he wanna give early retirement to old haters then aeroplane spoon feed eggplant soup inspired by method man skit”

“my homie said he wanna make calipos from fake gangster tears to give to their mothers while they locked up”

“my homie said money ain’t a thang but a green light to a fire”

“my homie said their mothers got more heart”

“my homie said even gay dudes don’t want no jail time so what are these motherfuckers playing dumb”

“my homie said he guilt tripping all these bitch ni99as like a lawyer”

“my homie wanna give direct free kick to a fake gangster in honour of pras lyrics”

“my homie said if they steal money that’s just an investment for their momma funeral look at it as a good deed... love conquers all”

“my homie said he wanna buy tissue subscription for a fake gangster as a sexual favour”

“my homie said he wanna give a handie in pulling away a fake gangster’s manhood... he wylin for that one but so thoughtful of our future wellbeing”

“my homie said they injected themselves with too much pride serum they gonna overdose what a way to go out kekekeke”

“my homie said he undecided if he should get courtside at watching paint dry or watch this fake gangster indirectly plead with imma come see you but lets agree to disagree nah mean like im right here though ain’t i cmon man please”

“my homie said should he throw up the money to watch a fake gangster get slapped by his mother or let one of his gay homies do his thang thang”

“my homie said he told a fake gangster get up off your knees you ain’t paraplegic yet my guy”

“my homie said him and his girl re-enacted ghost scene making penis clay straws to give out to any next ni99a that wanna play up”

“my homie said we live in a beautiful world so he went out to go hang with his friends today he seems really happy”

“my homie said he sent a seed to every one of his haters so they can learn to grow without him”

“my homie said he sent a box of fresh oysters to his enemies locked away”

“my homie said he did knock and run at fake gangster’s door coz it was a sunny day and he didn't want either of them to stay inside and waste it... man he can be so thoughtful”

“my homie said some people do too much for street cred a homeless person got the most street cred they really out there”

“my homie said any ni99a that love poker more insecure than a bitch”

“my homie said he only eats fish fingers coz thats what he wants his life to be about”

“my homie said his aussie homie sculled a can of vb then spat that shit in the face of a fake gangster’s mother on the anniversary of 2pac in that red bandana”

“my homie said jealousy a trait you can never bounce back from”

“my homie said God don’t need to work in mysterious ways some of these ni99as already know their outcome”

“my homie said he wanna put one fake gangster in every jail in a capital city for all lives matter hashtag”

“my homie said he stick his long term goals up a hater’s ass”

“my homie said they only a thousand deep in a million man march we built differently”

“my homie said wrong one boy boy”

“my homie said he gonna make a crew wanna escape each other”

“my homie said if they need to build a case you got em”

“my homie said when they say i ain’t scared you already know”

“my homie said they rewrite history coz they don’t like they present” 

"my homie said he gonna waltz on your grave bro”

“my homie said they snakes before their sweet sixteen now bitter for their 40s”

“my homie said he put a hater’s girlfriend in a head lock”

“my homie said everyday is a gentle reminder”

“my homie said peaceful loungin is a lifestyle”

“my homie said shit is like a light switch”

“my homie said that crew so grave-y”

“my homie said divide and concur”

“my homie said reading my moves is like watching your oh-bitch-you-wary now I'm coming ni99a brapppt”

hahahahahahaha