#cm male reader

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N, to Spencer while straddling his lap: Glasses stay on during sex.

Spencer, who was about to take his glasses off: Oh, um.. okay.

Y/N: Wait I meant that as in my glasses. I'm blind as fuck.

Spencer, slightly confused: Oh. *moves his hand to take his glasses off*

Y/N: Wait no, keep yours on too, they're super hot

Spencer, still confused and now flustered: ...

[blackdollette]

"i fell for another loser." | spencer reid

in my feelings. - lana del rey

⊹₊⋆ synopsis: it didn't take a genius to detect when something was wrong with spencer...

fill out the taglist form! : @thirtyratsinasuit @auggiethecreator @oliviah-25 @sleepysongbirdsings @pleasantwitchgarden @emma-e-a @bellasprettywords

⊹₊⋆ pairing: bau!female!reader x spencer

⊹₊⋆ word count: 651

⊹₊⋆ contents: nervous spencer, slight tension, a little fluff

you quietly placed a hot, coffee-filled cup beside the two empty ones on spencer’s desk, the slight click sound it made as it hit the hardwood making his head jerk up. this was the third time he has dozed off like this, and it was only 11 in the morning.

he rubbed his eyes, his hair falling in disheveled tufts over his face as you leaned against his desk. 

“thanks… again.”

you nodded. “anytime.”

he picked up the cup, looking up at you. “blonde espresso with two teaspoons of sugar, right?”

you rolled your eyes. “this is my third delivery of the day. i even opted adding a quart of sugar.”

he mustered a little laugh, taking a long sip with a deep sigh, leaning back in his chair as he set the cup back down, starting to fidget with his thumbs like a nervous child. you were still standing there, confused at his unkempt disposition.

“something keeping you up at night, spence? i’ve never seen you this… disordered before.”

he locked eyes with you, hastily trying to fix his hair as he shook his head. “n-no, i’ve just…” he hesitated. “it’s nothing.”

your mouth nearly curled into an amused smile. on a normal day, you wouldn’t even need to ask spencer before he began telling you all the things he dreamt of and all the ways he would spend his evening. you wanted to pry, but didn’t want to strain him any further.

“well, you know where i am if you wanna talk.”

you smiled and gave him a half wave, heading to the exit door of his office. as you began to turn the handle, he blurted out quickly. “do you have any idea why i can’t get a date?”

you turned around slowly, raising an eyebrow. “maybe because i’ve never seen you ask a girl out, casanova.”

his cheeks flushed a little as his head angled downward, staring intensely at the ground. the realization suddenly hit you like a freight train.

“oh… is that what’s been keeping you up at night? you… like a girl..?”

spencer swallowed hard, nodding just a little. “i guess you could put it that way.”

you two fell silent for a moment, spencer not even being able to look you in the eye. he was blushing like an embarrassed school boy and could barely formulate a single sentence. 

you cleared your throat to break the silence. 

“so… you got any plans for her?”

spencer nodded, shuffling around a few papers on his desk. “y-yeah. i got her and i tickets to a ball game, reservations to her favourite restaurant, and… i was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.”

your heart would’ve warmed up if the lump growing in your throat hadn’t appeared first. “wow, it looks like you’ve got the whole night planned.” it was your turn to fidget with your thumbs. “i-is she pretty..?”

spencer finally loosens up at that question, a full smile breaking out on his face. “that doesn’t begin to cover it.”

you nodded, feeling a stab of insecurity in your chest, but you masked it with an endearing smile. “well to the looks of it, you’ve got a plan, you’ve set everything up, and it seems that you really like her. so go ahead and ask. i promise that no girl could ever say no to you. and if she does, you’re way out of her league.”

spencer’s eyes grew a little misty, along with yours. your hand fell to the door handle once again, turning it slowly.

“good luck, spence…”

god, that nickname, the one that no one else in the world ever used. the butterflies in spencer’s stomach had increased significantly. he knew that it was now or never.

his voice coming out shakier than ever stopped you in your tracks as you began to leave the room.

“so, uh, a-are you free this saturday..?”

author's note: ugh.

[cumulo-stratus]

Spencer reid in purple is my Roman Empire

taglist- @spencers1wifey | @mvndfvelds | @mindfullycriminal | @luce-reid |@ferrjulie | @khxna | @il0vebeingdelulu | @lover-of-books-and-teas |

join my taglist here

[reveseke]

Imagine Reid just reminding you to do something as simple as to eat or drink water, and asks you if you've gotten enough sleep. Either you two have been talking about it in small talk, or Reid picked up on you neglecting your needs. Also reminding Reid to do the same when he forgets to take care of himself properly.

ND to ND communication.

[babiebom]

Hiiii. I hope ur ok with my just constantly being like *ahem* spencer reid 👉🏻👈🏻🥹🥹. I loved how you wrote him in the last request! I feel like a lot of the time, people write him very ooc - just bc he can be hard to get written the right way, but like that's my boy, look at him spitting random facts for HOURS 🥰🥰?? Like yes, pls info dump on me while I stare at u lovingly, Spence 💞.

I recently came to terms with being ftm, but it's almost impossible to find any male! reader x Spencer Reid content. Which can be very dysphoric 😵‍💫. Which sucks! Bc holy hell, there are some fuckinnn amazing writers out there writing fanfics.

So now, I have come to you, an amazing writer out here writing fanfics, to beg ask if ud be down to write any kind of oneshot with Spencer Reid dating a male reader! It honestly doesn't have to be anything specific - romantic, angsty, enemies to lovers, slow burn, whatever peaks ur interest atm!

I would just love, love to have that content with Spence & a male reader if you're down for the task! Thank you so so muchh 💓. Hope ur having a wonderful morning / afternoon / evening !

A/N:im sorry this took so long!! I’ve been busy working (blegh) and I wanted to write something sweet for you!! I’m happy you’ve come to terms with being ftm!! As a cis identifying person myself I can’t say that I know how it feels, but I am VERY happy that you’re more comfortable with your identity!! Also never worry about being too “crazy” over Spencer I’ve been obsessed with him since I was about 5 or 6 (yes it’s been a long time)!! I’ll try more to write in a more gender neutral way when writing anything reader insert related that way you can enjoy my writing without feeling left out or anything!! Always let me know if there are things I can do better <3

Tw: maybe some cursing but overall should be wholesome

Wc: 0.54k

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Spencer Reid often came home dejected after a case gone wrong, it was often that he came home tired but happy after a successful case. It wasn’t often, however, that he came home excited for a break; but then again he hadn’t had a boyfriend to come home to on previous breaks. Now, as you watch him walk through the front door of your shared apartment, you can’t help but grin at the absolutely goofy look on his face.

“Emily gave us all 4 weeks off to rest after our latest case, so that means I get four WHOLE weeks of you to myself! Isn’t that great?” He lets out a giggle after he finishes speaking, putting his bag down on the kitchen counter. You didn’t even have to ask him why he was so giddy, he answered unprompted.

“It is great!” You try to match his energy, only seeing him this excited for the first time since you’ve met. He brings you into his embrace, hugging you so tightly that you think you might die if he squeezed you any tighter. “So what are your plans now that you’re a free man for four whole weeks?”

“Well we could go to the park and play chess, or stay here and play chess but I think the sunlight would be good for both of us. Or we could go to the movies, or take a class together, or…”

“Your plans are to just have dates with me every single day?” You ask, quirking an eyebrow.

He nods as if the answer is the most obvious, concrete fact in the universe. He looks at you, not as if you’re dumb, but as if to say ‘duh what else would I be planning to do?’.

The two of you move to sit on the couch, enveloped in each other as he talks about the many, many dates you’re going to go on now that he’s free from his time constricting job. “What if I don’t wanna do those things?” You ask playfully. He shrugs.

“It doesn’t matter what we do, as long as I get to do it with you”.

“Oh?” You look at him as if he said something scandalous, “I didn’t know you had that big of a crush on me.”

He shoves you gently, rolling his eyes at your attempt to joke off his sweet words.

“You’re joking but studies have found that couples who have regular date nights more often result in higher relationship satisfaction, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection. Us going on dates during these four weeks will be better for us in the long run.”

You don’t reply, or interrupt. It’s always amusing to listen to him ramble on and on about facts that he finds interesting or applicable to the conversation. And all it does is make you fall more in love with him, seeing how serious he is about your relationship working out in the future. He says that he loves you often, but it’s things like this; seeing and listening to how much he genuinely cares about your relationship.

Being the boyfriend of a pretty boy genius has its perks, and how much he cares about you compared to others is definitely one of them.

[fuckingstrange]

——————————————————————————————————————

Speaking up

——————————————————————————————————————

WARNINGS: ANGST, Overwhelmed Spencer, Upset Spencer, Comforting Reader, BAU!Reader, Anxious habits (Biting lip/inner cheek), Mental Breakdown, Dissociation, Emotional Disconnection, non-beta read

WORDS: 1,200+

PAIRING: S.R. x m!reader

——————————————————————————————————————

You stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you watch Spencer take a seat on the couch. He's been quiet, actually more than quiet, he's been silent. Not a peep coming from the usually ranting man. His brain just works so much that he can't help but let those thoughts spill, to share all the little information he knows on things whenever he gets a chance. You know that when he doesn't and he harbors all his thoughts, his mind wants to think deeper on them, but the poor guy can only think about so many things at once before he gets overwhelmed.

And he's definitely overwhelmed right now. Has been ever since he went quiet. It's all visibly written in the way he can't stop chewing his lip or inner cheek. Hell, you're surprised he hasn't chewed a hole in his face with how rough he is when doing it. But whenever you try to get him to ease up, your words go right over his head.

Sometimes he listens. If you push him enough then he'll eventually ease up enough. But over the two, almost three months this has been going on, you've noticed a few things. Like how distant his gaze is. Even when you think he could be looking at you, it feels like he's really just looking in your general direction with how empty his eyes seem. He's emotionally disconnected, having gone through about three of Strauss’ grueling lectures, a couple times even Gideon lectured him on not being emotional when talking to a victim. Though Gideon always went back and apologized, a genuine apology, Spencer still felt like shit afterwards. Spencer could never handle when Derek and Elle ganged up on him on the wrong day, He'd always have to turn his head the other way to weep silently while you told them to shut up. Though the tears were always gone by the time you got back to him, the only thing left to show you his pain being the light red marks on his pale cheeks and the fact that his eyes would still have a few tears trapped in, each time almost looking like they're begging to escape.

You're brought out of your thoughts when you notice Spencer getting up from the couch, watching him wander off to the bathroom. You hear the door shut and lock, a few minutes later hearing it unlock and open. You expected him to just head to bed considering it's two in the morning, but instead end up watching with a bit of suprise as he makes his way over to you.

You notice immediately that something is wrong. The way his breathing seems to be a bit labored, the way he seems to actually be looking at you, and not to mention the worried look in those saddened, not so distant eyes. You may be new to profiling, but you can read Spencer pretty well. You open up your arms and pull him in, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and his head rest on your shoulder right after. You take a glance down at him, watching to see what happens. You see that he seems to be struggling to stay disconnected, the light tremble of his body telling you that he's scared about the storm of pain awaiting.

You give him a gentle squeeze, knowing you can't really make him face it, but knowing you can at least be there for him. It's a few minutes of back and forth, his gaze seeming to distant about a thousand yards as his body relaxes. He finds comfort in being disconnected, and you can't really blame him for it considering how panicked he seems to be whenever he isn't.

After those few minutes of his mind fighting itself, you see tears begin to well in Spencer’s eyes. He leans up to start brushing them away before they can touch his pale-skinned cheeks, though a few manage to slip down anyways. You move your hands down to his waist, slowly pulling him closer. The closeness seems to be his breaking point. A sob rips from his throat as he mumbles “It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.” Your eyes widen with shock, feeling and seeing the way he starts to crumble in your arms.

You reach up to pull his hands away from his face, telling him “I know. I know it hurts." And after a minute of watching him let out strained sobs, adding "Let it hurt- If you let it hurt, then you can get over it and feel better.” He hears your advice and seems to cry harder at it, eyes screwing shut, head starting to pound as he sobs and sobs and sobs some more. Harsh cries rip from his throat, effectively tearing up his throat and roughing up his voice. You pull him even closer, wanting him to feel you with him in this moment of what looks to be pure agony.

Spencer’s head tips back a bit, giving you clear view of the pain and fear etched deep in his expression. Your arms wrap around his waist as gentle shushing noises spill from your lips, almost on instinct. You press your lips to his forehead for a few seconds in hopes of reminding him that he's not alone. “Keep crying, baby. Let it out. Don't hold it back, you'll feel so much better after this, I promise.” You say in the most gentle, caring voice you can manage. You feel like you're gonna cry from just seeing how much pain he's in.

His hands move to brush at his shirt, trying to get the sweat that's formed on his palms off. “I don't- I- I don't understand.. it hurts.. I'm sorry..” He says between cries, sounding like an upset little boy at this point. The way he tells you he doesn't understand only means one thing, He doesn't understand why he hurts so much. But you do. And, god, does it fucking tug at your heart like no other.

Your hand moves to his cheek, thumb gently brushing along his eyebag, wiping away a few tears that were rolling down it. The swipe causes Spencer to open his eyes, looking up at you through those brown doe eyes full of tears and misery. “I know you don't.. and you don't need to, Spencer. Not just yet, you need to let yourself feel this." You encourage, wanting to keep him away from the idea that being so emotionally disconnected isn't good if it ends like this.

Spencer whimpers, resting his head on your chest as tears flow freely down his cheeks, hands clutching at the sides of your shirt. Harsh cries continue to rip from his throat, so much pain having built up over the two months. You rub his back, your voice cracking a bit as you continue your gentle shushing.

It's another ten minutes of listening to his pained cries and sobs before they start to die down into softer cries and whimpers from the lingering pain in his shattered heart. He moves his head so that it's on your shoulder now, hand moving to rest on your chest, subconsciously wanting to feel the steady thum of your heart while his continues to get stomped on and crushed brutally by all the pain in his poor mind, hopefully not etched too deep in his sweet soul.

You slowly move your hand up to rest over his, your other hand brushes up and down his side, a few more gentle shushing noises being made in hopes of helping him ease out of the agony and into recovery. A few whimpers occasionally slip from Spencer's lips, the pain still lingering a bit in his sweet heart. But, it'll go away over time.

You notice how exhausted he is now, having cried so hard and so much that he's drained. You look over to the clock to see it's about two-fourty in the morning, meaning he spent almost an hour in hell. You start slowly guiding his body to sway side to side with yours, hearing him yawn after only a minute of the motion. “You made it, sweetheart. Rest up now. I'll be right here.” You whisper in his ear, hearing him let out another soft whimper before completely shutting his eyes with the goal of getting some sleep.

You decide to stand there, swaying Spencer side to side even after he goes to sleep, just wanting to hold your poor boy after such an event. Like the good boyfriend you promised to be all those years ago when you first started dating Spencer, you stay. you watch over him. you make sure he stays safe. You promised, so you did.

——————————————————————————————————————

NOTES -

I'M AT 7 DAMN PERCENT MY GOD

Haven't written in a damn minute tho so..

[mggsv]

Please please please please please please post more male reader x hotch. I’m still trying to figure who I am out, and that smut you posted is officially my guilty pleasure. I want him to fuck me like that and then some. Thank you 😊

Of course my love <3

-

After Office Hours (not proof read!)

m!reader x aaron hotch hotchner

summary: you and hotch hated each other, it was obvious. he hated being wrong about certain things, you wanted to get your point across- hell, you’d spend the entire brief meeting arguing about the potential unsub you’re dealing with. How do either of you still have your job? How do you both still come to work knowing the hate was there? Spencer finds that out himself.

warnings: office sex, hair pulling, boss and employee, biting

“Kid you comin?” Morgan’s voice called out. Along with Garcia, Spencer and Morgan were going to go get something to eat before they all went home. Spencer turns back to the two of them before nodding rapidly, “Yeah- i left my keys! One sec i’m gonna go get them.”

They invited you, but you declined. You said you had overdue paperwork- they bought it. Truthfully you were waiting for the office to clear. When Spencer left you went right to his office, not even knocking. Hotch glances up at you and puts down his pen. “You were insufferable today.”

“According to Em, you were in the wrong, sir.” you scowl, walking over to lean on the front of the desk, staring right at him. The bulge in his pants was noticeable, like his tie that was folded neatly on his bag that sat in a chair nearby. You smirked, he was waiting for you too, it seemed. Sneaky bastard.

“You didn’t listen to me.” He gets up, and your eyes follow his figure making its way around the desk, slowly…he was big, you noted. He always overpowered you. God you loved it. “You were wrong and needed correcting.” You said calmly, feeling his body behind you. His strong hands outlined your waist, bulge only slightly touching your clothed ass. You felt your pants tighten.

“Oh yeah?” He asks, you could hear the shitty smirk on his face. His body looks over yours, moving your hair back to plant a kiss on your shoulder. You roll your eyes and relax into the desk. Your back curves and you adjust your ass to line up with his bulge.

“You make me sick.” you say, making Hotch stand straight. You could hear the sound of his shrugging off his jacket, no words. You sigh and sit up as well, going to take off your vest and unbutton your shirt. “And yet you’re the one who comes to me. Everytime.” He mutters.

He was on you in an instant, his body as bare as yours. Your lips crashed together, making you yelp slightly. As much as you hated him you could stop the small smile that crept upon your lips when he picked you up and carried you to the side-edge of the desk. Your hands fumbled to move the paperwork that was taking up room, trying your best not to get it on the floor. Your cock was hard against his stomach, waiting for his touch. You felt hot down there- how close you were to him made you leak. How the hot air of his breath sent shivers up your spine when he kissed your neck.. “Hotch-“ you breathed out, your hands gripping his shoulders.

You hated him, but boy did you love it when your bodies came together. How you could get off with his contact alone, how he took care of your body while he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow. A soft tug on your hair pulled you back to reality. Your eyes forcefully stared at the ceiling while his teeth bit into your shoulder. He kept the tight grip on your hair, biting and sucking on your skin while his other hand held your cock. He loved running his own against you..the whimper that trickled from your lips didn’t compare to how good it felt- how good Hotch made you feel. “Fuck..” he moans, hips thrusting while he fists your cocks.

“Stop teasing damnit.” you scoot a bit closer. Hotch let’s your hair go for you to lean back a bit, your arms still around his shoulders. “Teasing? Me?” he looks at you in the eyes. Your heart thumps.. “fuck me already.”

“Kid?” Morgan’s voice calls from nearby. Spencer fumbles with the keys in his hands as he scurried from the door, face red and flushed. “I’m coming!”

[gothamslostboy]

Hi me again! Could I request Spencer Reid x trans male reader (ftm) with the prompts

“Please stay” and “It’s cold when your gone”

Where the 2 r js cuddling bc some asshole at y/ns work said some shit abt him being trans

Maybe a bit of making out but fs like kisses

Ty luv 🫶

- 🦭

A/N: hey 🦭, thank you for my first ever Spencer Reid request! This was a great experience to write and I hope you like it:]

Meliorism

WORDS: 850

MELIORISM (n.) the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world

Spencer Reid x FTM reader

SPENCER YOU

Spencer had 3 main amazing talents. His eidetic memory, which allowed him to recall the tiniest visual details of the things he sees, even if briefly. Reid could also read 20,000 words a minute, finishing books that would take a regular person multiple days in only a few hours. These are well known about Spencer, but, his third talent is something only you’ve experienced. He has the ability to read your emotions perfectly.

If he hadn’t already explained that the ability to be a genuine mind reader would require factors that don’t exist in our world, you would’ve been sure he was one. No matter how insignificant the feeling, Dr. Spencer Walter Reid knew you felt it. So it was no suprise when he was already at the door when you arrived home, scooping you into a hug and kissing your forehead.

Daniel said something again didn’t he? You know, even after one transphobic comment the U.S Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says that he can be fired. I’m sorry he does this Y/N, you deserve better. You let out a small chuckle as he continues to ramble about different papers and documents he’s read that could help. Just knowing how much Spencer wants to help makes the hurt you feel evaporate away for a bit.

I’m gonna be ok Spence, it just hurts to hear those things. Especially because he was a work friend before he found out I’m trans. You broke away from the hug to shrug the burgundy coat off your body, placing it on the coat rack before grabbing Spencer’s hand & walking towards your shared bedroom. I know Y/N, but you’re just too great of a guy to have to put up with hateful speech. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I just want to lay down and watch a show, is Star Trek alright? He smiles, matching the small one on your face as he nods.

Sounds perfect! Did you know that Star Trek actually has very little physics mistakes? Considering the time it was- Spencer’s phone rings, cutting off a rant you were honestly interested in hearing. He answers, the corners of his mouth dropping back down as he exhales. He nods his head a few times before excusing himself to the person on the other end of the phone. Sorry Hotch, just a moment. You’re now back to feeling the same disappointment you had earlier, Aaron only calls after 6:00pm when there’s a case.

Y/N, im so sorry, Reid cups your face with his left hand. There’s a briefing for a case, we leave early tomorrow. Please stay. You lean your face into his hand even more. I know it’s selfish, but I just don’t want to be alone…. Its not selfish. A quiet silence fills the moment. Spencer examines you for a second before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He guides you onto the bed, pulling off your shoes and turning on Star Trek. He exits the room and moves the phone back to his ear. You sigh, knowing that the case is important or he would’ve stayed.

Surprisingly, Spence re enters about 10 minutes later, with waters and your favorite snack. I thought- I can read the case files on the flight tomorrow. There’s more than enough time and Hotch said he’d fill me in on any other information needed. You hug his side as he sits down, pulling yourself close enough to rest your head on his shoulder as you watch the show. Thank you Spence. It’s better when you’re here, the house is so cold when I’m alone. He turns your head to face his, you come first Y/N, always.

Both leaning in for a slightly intense kiss, time passes and you realize 1 and 1/2 episodes have played in the background. You two had got so caught up in eachother that the tv noise had been completely forgotten. Spencer shares one more peck, before turning back to the screen. I thought you just wanted to lay down and watch a show? We haven’t done very much of that have we? A snicker escapes you as your eyes roll playfully.

Alright, I know. You’ve seen this show a hundred times- 68 and 3/5ths. Reid beams at you as you raise an eyebrow. Ok, you’ve seen this show 68 & 3/5ths times, what’s happened so far in this episode?

He begins to tell you all the needed context for the episode, and then some extra. You lean back against his shoulder and you two hold the hands closest to eachother, the horrible day of work completely forgotten.

Spencer tended to do that. He made all your bad days turn into good ones. You knew no matter how many people tried to hurt you, to tear away your happiness, that people like Spencer Reid existed. People who spend everyday trying to fix this broken world. You knew that meeting Spencer and falling in love with him was the luckiest thing a guy like you could do.

[issdisgrace]

YOUR SUGAR DADDY​

WARNINGS: None​

I check my suit in the mirror one more time before heading out to start the promo for my upcoming match with CM Punk. It was going good as always until Punk came out and ruined it. 

“How about you tell everyone about your sugar daddy?”

God that made my fucking blood boil. Ever since I got with my fiance, he’s been called my sugar daddy and it’s fucking annoying.

“He’s not my sugar daddy and you damn well know that Punk.”

“You sure. If I remember correctly, the suit your wearing was bought by him, as well as the watch and shoes your wearing. Oh, wait sorry I remember now your whole wardrobe was bought by him.”

“He did not buy my whole wardrobe for you information. I’m making plenty to buy my own things. Oh, wait I got it now. You're jealous that I have someone that doesn’t sit on their ass and do nothing like your wife. What she hasn’t been relevant since you were.”

 “Max, your only clam to fame is your sugar daddy.”

“Fuck you, he isn’t my fucking sugar daddy. I get it. He’s 8 years older than me, but that doesn’t mean he’s my sugar daddy.”

“Your sure about that, Max. What do you call a man that pays for all your flights, hotels, rentals cars, suits, watches, and those ugly scarves you wear?”

“Go suck it Punk. He’s not the only one who spends money in our relationship. I pay for all our vacations, hobbies, and dinners. Also, even if he paid for everything what’s the big deal? Huh, he has the money to do so. It’s not like he’s going to break the bank doing so what the problem,”

“The problem is, he has made you think you're so fucking high and mighty. You are nothing, Max. You will never be anything, Max. You're just a pathetic little boy that gets whatever he wants when he wants from his sugar daddy.”

Punk says, getting in my face. I take the opportunity to deliver a low blow. God, do I love low blows. They’re so fun and it’s amazing to see their pain when it happens. Punk hunches forward, clutching his crotch before he can say anything I say,

“That’s what you get, Punk. Now keep my fucking fiance out of your mouth or next time it will be much worst.” After I drop the mike onto the mat and leave. Well, that was eventful. I bet Y/n’s gonna get a kick out of this later.

[ralvezfanatic]

Unsub!Reader: *blushing* So... You find me interesting?

Hotch: That's not what "person of interest" means.

[ssanovak]

Getting Out of There Alive

Trigger warning! This fic has a lot of detailed gore, torture and some mentions of depression and self hatred!

@xweirdo101x​‘s request; I was wondering if I could request BAU Team x Male reader, while the team are on a case reader gets kidnapped by the unsub and tortured (if possible could reader get an injury where the skin has been removed from the lower jaw down to the shoulder showing his bottom teeth and muscles?) All other injures are in your ball park, the team have to find reader before the unsub kills them!

And maybe could you write about the emotional trauma reader has with the injury on his face like how it makes them self-conscious, depressed, ugly maybe even comparing themselves to a zombie? I guess a kinda self-hate towards themself?

-8.5k words-

---

You took a step towards the door, your head feeling like it was spinning and you stumbled slightly. You nearly knocked a guy over who turned to you and asked “You okay there buddy?”

“Yeah, sorry, just a little dizzy, I think I need some fresh air”, you laughed.

“Oh, had a few too many, eh?” He laughed too.

“Something like that”, you replied, taking a tentative step towards the door. When you managed this without falling over you took another one, and another until you stood just outside the door in the chilly early spring night air. You decided to try and walk the feeling off, as you were sure it wasn’t alcohol intoxication as you’d only had two drinks. As you walked the feeling in your head only got fuzzier and you decided to stop for a second and sit down on a low-lying dividing wall. You noticed a movement towards your left out of the corner of your eye but when you turned your head to better view the source there wasn’t anyone there. You pulled your coat collar up against your neck, unsure whether your shiver was due to the cold or the growing sense of unease you felt. You pushed yourself up off your perching spot and continued walking, trying to ascertain if you were in fact being followed. Once your suspicions had been all but confirmed and you were sure you weren’t alone you decided to call for help.

You took your phone from your pocket and fumbled around struggling to press the button to turn the screen on so you could unlock the phone with face ID. When you’d succeeded you clicked through to your contacts, opening your recent calls. You realised with annoyance that everything was doubled and blurry and you squinted trying to read the names or numbers. When you were unsuccessful in working out any name, you decided to just click and hope for the best.

Hotch blinked as his phone rang, having been deep in thought about the current cases the BAU was working through and staring into space. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and checked caller ID before he answered, “Y/L/N! Enjoying your day off so much you thought you’d phone to check up on us all?”

“Hotch?” Your voice felt loud and unnatural in your head.

“Did you misdial? Expecting someone else?”

“N-no, no, just c-couldn’t make out the n-n-names on my contacts”

“That drunk, eh?”

“No.”

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“I th-think I-I’m being f-followed.”

“Hold on, I’ll get the team.” Hotch raced out of his office to the balcony and signalled to the team down in the bullpen that they were needed in the conference room. As he opened the door and walked into the room he spoke into his phone again, “I’ll put you on speaker, they’re on their way now.”

As the team hurried up the stairs, confused and on edge, towards the same room Hotch had just entered Rossi noticed something was going on through the blinds in his office and he dropped the file he had been reading and hurried out to join the team.

“Okay Y/L/N, the team’s here, tell us what’s going on.” Hotch spoke, putting the phone in the centre of the table.

“I don’t really know,” you started tentatively and the team exchanged a confused glance, “I-I was in a b-bar, had a couple of dr-drinks, started feeling woozy, not d-drunk woozy, s-s-something else. S-so I w-went outside f-for some fr-fresh air, and I’m f-fairly certain s-someone’s following m-me.”

“Y/L/N where are you?” Prentiss piped up.

“I, uh… Oh s-shit, where the f-fuck am I?” You said, looking around at the seemingly unfamiliar landscape.

“Morgan, get Garcia to track his phone”, Hotch ordered.

Morgan scooped his own phone out of his pocket and called the technical analyst.

“You’ve reached the office of Penelope Garcia, fountain of all knowledge, how can I bestow my gifts on you today?”

“Hey baby girl, we need you to track Y/L/N’s phone please.”

“Just right to it, must be serious, you got it hot stuff.” Garcia responded and got to work.

“Morgan, Prentiss, you two get to an SUV, as soon as we have the location I want you ready to go.” Hotch commanded and the two agents left the room.

“Guys, I re-really d-don’t feel s-so g-good” you slurred, your voice growing weaker as you struggled to force the words out.

“We need to keep him talking,” Reid spoke quietly, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. You hadn’t officially disclosed your relationship with your fellow agent to the rest of your team, knowing it was against the FBI rules around fraternisation but they had a feeling that something was going on between you two and Rossi put his hand on the youngest agent’s shoulder squeezing slightly, hoping to reassure the brilliant doctor that Y/L/N would be okay.  

“Kid, keep talking to us okay? We’re tracing your phone now.” Rossi said to Y/N.

You steadied yourself against the nearest wall and took a breath before replying, “m-kay, b-but I’m s-so t-t-tired.”

“Y/L/N, I need you to find somewhere to sit, as visible as possible, and keep yourself awake until we get there okay?” Hotch spoke clearly and slowly, hoping the younger agent wasn’t anywhere too secluded or difficult to find.

“This is a f-fucking n-nightmare, I c-can’t b-believe this is h-h-happening” You mumbled, trying to keep your emotions in check, you found a step and sat down.

“Y/N, it’s going to be okay,” Spencer spoke softly, “Penelope’s tracking your phone, Derek and Emily are on their way, and I need you to take a deep breath for me and describe where you’re sitting, can you do that for me?”

Hearing your boyfriends voice soothed the anxiety gnawing at your stomach, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath in and then opened them again, looking around you, “Uh, a d-d-doorway, on a s-step” you answered the question.

“Brilliant, okay, what can you see across from you?” Spencer knew that your description wouldn’t be enough to find you, but his main focus now was keeping you calm and conscious.

Silence echoed out after his question and Hotch was the next to speak, “Y/L/N?”

Still nothing.

The team kept quiet, listening for a sign that you were still on the line. A sudden thud made them all jump.

“Y/N!” Spencer shouted at the phone.

A shiver ran around the room at the next sound they heard, the cold and cynical voice was clear and calm as he spoke, “Who did you call, hmm? Ooh, Hotch, that would be SSA Aaron Hotchner, am I correct?” Glee evident in his voice as he asked the second question.

“Speaking.” Hotch replied, eyes narrowing.

“Good, that saves me a call, now, unless you wish to find your agent spread around the country in pieces, you’ll play by my rules now, do we have a deal?” The man spoke as if making nothing more than a business call.

“What do you want?” Hotch questioned, brow furrowed, leaning on the table over the phone.

“All in good time Agent Hotchner, all in good time,” and the line went dead.

“Damnit,” Hotch closed his eyes and lowered his head, contemplating his next move. “Reid, call Morgan and tell him what’s just happened, get the phones location from him and then tell them to proceed with caution, Dave and I will be there as soon as possible, I want you and JJ to check the M.O of all our current cases, we need to work out if this guy is potentially someone we’re already looking for or a new unsub entirely, and then I want you to start putting together a rudimentary victimology profile. Morgan and Prentiss will help you with that when they return later. We’ll call from the scene and pool info, let’s go.” The Senior Agent grabbed his phone and gear and then threw the SUV keys to Rossi.

Nobody else spoke as they got to work, high stakes cases were an everyday occurrence for the BAU, but it always hit differently when one of their own was in danger.

~~~

Your eyes snapped open and they stared unblinkingly at the ceiling as your brain searched for answers to currently unanswerable questions. You blinked, slowly, trying to clear the grey film that clouded your vision. As the view in front of you cleared you found yourself more confused than you had been when you had first woken up. You took a deep breath and tilted your head to the right. The room you found yourself in was fairly basic. You looked around at the corked walls, the low ceiling and the concrete floor. You assumed you were in a basement of some kind as there were no windows. You noticed a security camera in the top corner of the room on the same side as the door and made a mental note that you were being watched. You tried to sit up, now that your thoughts were coming through clearer, but found yourself unable to move. You looked down at your body and realised you were chained to the cold metal slab you lay upon. Confusion furrowed your brow and you desperately tried to remember how you’d ended up in this predicament, however the last thing you could remember was throwing on your jacket and leaving to enjoy your rare Friday night off. You tugged at the restraints, trying to work out if they could be broken with some force but realised they were too tight for you to use the full extent of your strength to pull against them. You gave up trying to break the bonds and went back to trying to work out where you were.

You had no idea how long you spent laying in the silence before the door opened and a well built man walked in. The man didn’t speak as he entered the room, and you found this unnerving as you studied him as best you could from the angle you were laid at. You guessed he would be around late 20s early 30s but couldn’t really tell as the lower half of his face was covered with a surgical mask. He pushed his glasses up using an index finger against the bridge. You made note of the way his hand twitched slightly as he lowered it back to his side.

He turned and dragged a trolley into the room from the hallway. Your eyes widened as you saw blades glisten in the dim light coming from the centre of the room. You began to struggle once more against the chains as he walked towards you.

“Don’t touch me”, you spat as he reached towards your face. He laughed and grabbed your face and  then with his other hand he grabbed a piece of cloth and forced it into your mouth. It tasted musty and you wretched trying to spit it out but he forced your mouth to stay closed and then twisted your face away from him to tie a knot around the back of your head too tightly for you to force the material from your lips.

“You’re not in a position to dictate or make demands regarding what I can and can’t do to you”, he spoke calmly.

Your body stiffened in fear as you saw him pick up a scalpel and you struggled once more against your restraints as the blade was brought up to your body. He traced your jawline with the sharp tip, running the cold metal down your neck and along your collarbone, you flinched slightly as he made a sudden movement but were relieved when the only thing he cut was your clothing. However your relief was short lived as he pulled your shirt away from your skin and dragged the knife through the skin beneath it. When the blade connected with your flesh you bit down hard in an effort to force any response from your body, all disgust at the dirty rag gone as you were thankful for something to clamp your teeth together on. The twisting of the blade made your stomach turn and you were sure your jaw would break under the pressure you exerted to stop yourself from making any noise, however you didn’t want to give this bastard the satisfaction of eliciting a reaction from you. You managed to keep silent as the blade made easy work of tearing your skin apart. You could feel the anger building in your assailant at your lack of a reaction when the swipes of the blade got more violent and less controlled. He growled in frustration and dropped the now bloody blade back onto the trolley, then turning back to you he uncurled your fingers that you had scrunched into fists at your side and flattened your hand against the table. A second later he lifted a hammer from behind him and brought it down forcefully against your outstretched fingers, the sudden unexpected sensation causing you to yelp in pain against the gag, and he grinned in satisfaction. He brought the hammer down once more from above his head and you felt a silent tear roll down your cheek as you heard a sickening squelch and pain flashed up your arm once more. His methods of eliciting a response from you grew messier and more depraved just as you got used to each one and became able to control your bodies pain response and dissociate from the predictability. Eventually the pain became insufferable and dark clouds rolled into your field of vision as you lost consciousness again.

When you came to moments later the smell of burning hit your nose, an acrid, nauseating smell that made you choke as you tried to gasp for fresh air which was unobtainable. Another laugh filled the room you tried to focus on something, anything, other than the intense searing pain you felt. You tried to escape mentally, tried desperately to bring something pleasant to mind but the pain was so much; unbearable, unfathomable and incessant.

You didn’t know how long this continued for, torture to the point of passing out, waking up and the torture continuing, and trying to mentally escape when your thoughts were coherent enough to understand your predicament.

Pretty soon you gave up on the hope of getting out of there alive.

~~~

Hotch ran his hand over his face and then through his hair, further messing up the usually pristinely gelled style he wore and then raised his arms above his head stretching towards the ceiling as he yawned. JJ leant on one hand staring down at the file in front of her, reading it for the umpteenth time as if she believed she would gain new information this time. Rossi sat with his head in his hands, eyes closed slumped forwards. Morgan and Prentiss conversed in hushed tones, whilst the first took a sip from his cup of black coffee, the latter popped the can open of her energy drink and took a long drink. Reid poured his sixth cup of coffee of the day, which should have alarmed the others as it was only 8am, but they had long since stopped questioning how he continued to function when his blood must be mostly coffee.

None of the team had slept much in the last two weeks as they scrambled to put everything within their power into finding you, concern growing each minute that elapsed without any new information. They would’ve feared you already dead if they hadn’t had a steady stream of haunting mail that contained photos detailing your every injury. These pictures were all pinned in chronological order to the board they had set up during the first hour after your kidnapping. They told a grisly tale and each one was just another reminder that they’d failed you yet again. Spencer was barely talking to anyone any more, his usual anecdotes and statistics long since forgotten as he grew more and more anxious that the next photo would be accompanied by a location of your body. He didn’t know if he could take much more of the investigation before he took his gun and started banging on every single door in the vicinity they had narrowed your captor down to demanding entry to check for you. He knew this wouldn’t actually yield results but he felt like all their collective information had so far come to absolutely nothing and recalled Einstein’s famous quote about insanity being an expectation of different results whilst repeating the same actions over and over again and thought that anything new and unconventional would be worth a try at this point.

Then the phone rang and everyone jumped, hyper vigilance being the standard for their emotional state lately. Morgan answered his mobile and said “Yeah baby girl, I’ll put you on speaker.”

“He messed up!” Garcia blurted out excitedly.

“What are you talking about Garcia?” Hotch said, stifling another yawn.

“The kidnapper messed up! He left us a fingerprint!”

“Please tell me it was in the system!” Hotch said sitting bolt upright suddenly alert.

“Bossman you think I’d have called you if it wasn’t? I’ve got his name address, every school he ever went to, every dentist appointment he ever missed and every time he’s ever sneezed in public up on my screens right now, I’m sending each address over to you! Go get Y/N back!”

“Fantastico!” Rossi exclaimed as the entire team jumped into action.

“I know” Penelope said twirling her pen around her fingers.

“Catch you later baby girl, you’re a star!” Morgan hung up the phone and grabbed his gun from the desk in front of him.

Spencer’s gut felt like it was doing somersaults as he followed behind the rest of the team, he wasn’t sure he could take it if they were too late and no matter what he did he couldn’t get the final image of you weak, bloodied and bruised out of his head. As the teams neared the various locations they had as a possibility for your location he felt like he might vomit the last cup of coffee he’d drunk and wished Garcia had phoned a minute earlier so he wouldn’t have had time to fill his stomach. He tried to focus on the task at hand but his mind kept wandering back to the image of you and every thought willed you to hold on another minute.

~~~

You took a breath weakly, wondering what dying would actually feel like, whether it would be painless and whether there was something you were headed for at the end of this life. The emotional pain had long since given way to numbness but you had enough of your wits about you to  tell something wasn’t right, more than the obvious. The skin around some of the wounds you could see had started to change colour, and the pain in your muscles had intensified immensely. You shivered once more as you wondered, not for the first time, why your body hadn’t given up a long time ago. You were unsure of how long you had been in this room, at least the first three days you were sure of, but after that days or weeks could have passed and you had no way of working it out. You sighed coughing slightly and struggled to take a deep enough breath back in. A sudden loud bang came from above you and you heard a shout, your attention snapped up to the ceiling and then to the door, hoping against all hope that you weren’t hallucinating the ruckus you could hear coming from the house above. You felt a wave of relief wash over you as you caught the words ‘FBI don’t move!’. You’d been found, you let out another sigh and gasped trying to catch your breath.

You coughed and heard someone call out “Y/N, where are you? Can you hear me? Please, if you can hear me make a noise!” It took you a minute to connect the voice to a person, confusion clouding your thoughts but once you realised Emily was the one shouting you tried to call out, make a noise, do something but you couldn’t catch a breath to make more than a strangled pathetic sound.

You slumped back against the table, tears coming thick and fast and you wanted to give up and sleep. You knew that you had to do something to alert them to your location and you tried banging your foot against the metal but groaned in pain as you smacked broken bones on the surface.

The footsteps above you stopped and you heard another shout “Y/N? Do that again!”

“Oi, you lot! Shut it!” You heard Rossi tell the other agents to be quiet.

You didn’t want to but you had to force yourself to lift your foot once more and slam it down onto the table making a loud crash, seeing stars as you caused yourself insurmountable pain. You slammed your foot down once more, letting out a strangled sound from your throat, determined to carry on until they found you but the pain was causing you to black out a bit.

You heard a thud as a wall panel was busted down and you heard another shout “Fake wall! In here!”. Spencer’s voice felt like the only thing you needed to hear right now and you willed yourself to stay conscious as footsteps ran down the stairs that were behind the blocked off area. Then the door to what could have been your tomb flew open and Spencer came crashing through and you closed your eyes against the harsh glare of the torch he held.

“Y/N!, oh my gosh, Y/N! Stay with me, open your eyes, sweetheart you’ve got to open your eyes,” Spencer let a tear run down his face as he looked at you laid on the slab in front of him, hands hovering over your body not wanting to touch you for fear he would hurt you further. You opened your eyes slowly and looked up into his face which was just above yours, you felt his fingertips gently stroke your chin and could smell the coffee he’d drunk not long ago on his breath as he looked down into your eyes. You smiled, a burning surging through your face as you did so, you screwed your eyes up in pain and Spencer grabbed your left hand after taking a moment to analyse whether there appeared to be any new injuries on your body since the last photo. You squeezed his hand with what little energy you had left, making sure he was really there in front of you. “It’s going to be okay, I promise you, you’re going to be okay, I need you to keep looking at me okay?” He soothed you, stroking circles into the back of your hand with his thumb.

You looked up at him and were vaguely aware of the chains on your ankles being touched. You tried to respond but found you couldn’t get a deep enough breath to speak so you nodded, realising too late that it was a mistake as stars shot through your vision once more. You hissed in pain and the hands that were near your ankles were removed instantly.

“Y/N, I want you to squeeze my hand, one squeeze for no, two for yes, okay?” You thanked your lucky stars your boyfriend was so intelligent, marvelling at how quickly he’d worked out a solution for communication. You squeezed his hand twice and he nodded, grateful that you were at least lucid enough to help them help you.

“Okay, was it one of us who hurt you a second ago?” he asked, and you squeezed his hand once. “Can Hotch continue trying to get these restraints off you whilst we wait for the paramedics?” you squeezed his hand twice and Spencer turned to his boss, “keep trying, you didn’t hurt him”.

The hands returned to the chains on your ankles and Spencer turned back to you. You could feel the little adrenalin that had helped you make a noise draining from you and you wanted nothing more than to give up and close your eyes. Then a sudden movement of the chains caused you to let out a strangled scream in pain as the metal fell against your broken foot. You saw your boyfriend’s panicked look and vaguely heard him talking but the pain was so overwhelming you couldn’t make out the words. You closed your eyes, ready to let sleep drag you under but you remembered the unspoken promise you made to stay awake and you blinked them open once more and tightened the grip you had on Spencer’s hand.

“The paramedics are nearly here, please hang on for a little longer y/n, do you think you can do that for me?” He said, looking down at you. You squeezed his hand weakly once and then again. He smiled softly at you and another tear rolled down his cheek.

You kept your gaze fixed on him as the paramedics came rushing into the room and busied themselves finding a suitable vein to insert a catheter and give you some painkillers before they could move you. Once the medication took effect you sighed and relaxed your grip on Spencer’s hand, deciding you were now safe enough to let yourself drift out of consciousness and into the inky blackness once more.

~~~

Spencer’s heart felt like it was in his mouth as he travelled alongside you in the ambulance, listening to the sirens and watching the paramedics try and assess the horrific situation in front of them. You were hooked up to just about as many machines as the crew had at their disposal, your breathing was shallow and laboured and every now and then your body would heave with the effort of taking in enough oxygen.

When the ambulance pulled into the nearest Emergency department and everything burst into life around him. The doors were thrown open and the gurney was pulled out of the van into the loading bay with one paramedic pulling and the other pushing from the other end of the trolley.

Spencer followed after them but was stopped by a nurse as you where wheeled into the sterile surgical room with a trauma team in tow.

“Sir you can’t go in there” the nurse said calmly but firmly with her hand on his arm. He tried to pull away when a firmer set of hands were placed on his shoulders and he was steered around to a waiting room off to the side.

Spencer looked round into the face of his colleague, Emily’s eyes wide and face set into as neutral a position as she could manage, “What do I do now?” He asked the other agent.

Emily indicated that he should sit down and then sat next to the seat she’d indicated to and turned to him, “We wait, it’s all we can do.”

Spencer stayed standing as he looked back to the doorway they’d come through and muttered “If he is dead, I need to see his body, make damned sure.”

“Make sure of what?” Emily questioned, but she wasn’t sure she really wanted the answer.

“That he’s actually dead.” Spencer clarified nonchalantly.

“Right.” She was right, she hadn’t needed the answer after all.

“What is it Emily? Are you uncomfortable that I no longer trust anything other than my own senses when it comes to death because of you? Because you should be.” Spencer spat, clenching his fingernails into the palms of his hands.

“Spencer…”

“I don’t want to hear it! You’ve made it so that I will never be able to trust what is perceivably happening without double checking!”

“Please don’t do this, not now.”

Spencer continued as if he hadn’t heard or didn’t want to hear Emily’s pleading, “I’ve spent so long trying to build trust back up with all of you, it takes everything I have to actually believe what’s happening in front of my own eyes, but never once have I felt like that with Y/N! I don’t know if I could handle that kind of betrayal, not again, and not from him.” Hot angry tears ran down Spencer’s cheeks and he turned and kicked the nearest chair which fell to the floor, the resulting crash making Emily jump. Spencer’s shoulders shook with the muffled sobs he was containing.

Emily quickly realised that he wasn’t actually wanting to argue, and that in this moment instead of facing the fear and the pain that he felt, anger was a much easier secondary emotion to deal with and she happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Spencer, come here.”

He looked up at his colleague with tears still streaming down his face and was surprised when she opened her arms out to her sides and indicated for him to give her a hug. He took a step towards her and she took one to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling him down towards her. He buried his face in her neck, wrapped his arms around her waist and sobbed as she held him. A stray tear wormed it’s way down Emily’s face and she blinked furiously to stop herself from fully crying too.

“He’s going to be okay.”

“You can’t say that, you can’t know that, statistically speaking…” Spencer mumbled against his friends shoulder, sniffling slightly.

“Shut it with your statistics for once will you! Now, he’s going to be okay, I’m telling you he will be. I truly believe that, okay?” Emily pulled herself away from him so that she could look into his face as she spoke.

Spencer nodded dropping one arm to his side and standing upright wiping his face with his other hand. At that moment Hotch and JJ entered the waiting room.

“How’s he doing?” Hotch asked Spencer.

“Don’t know, but it doesn’t look good” Spencer’s lip wobbled as he spoke and when he was done he bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself crying again.

“Spence it’ll be okay, he’s in the best place possible right now,” JJ spoke softly and put her hand on his shoulder squeezing slightly and nodded to him.

“We’ll all wait here, Rossi and Morgan are following up with the task force now, unfortunately the unsub wasn’t anywhere to be found so we’re still searching, but there’s not really much more we can do, we don’t have any new leads to go on for the moment, so we’ll regroup later and see if any new information comes to light from where Y/N was being held.” Hotch explained quickly to the group before turning to Spencer once more, “Reid, obviously you can take as much time as you need, you’re not expected to return to work until… Until we know what the situation is with Y/N at least.” Hotch internally grimaced at his tactlessness, he wished he could’ve worded it better and offered his youngest subordinate some reassurance at the same time but he thought better of it than to potentially keep digging that hole.

All four sat down in silence whilst they waited for what felt like an eternity for any news of your condition. After a while a nurse in scrubs came into the waiting room and looked around at them.

“Which one of you is Spencer Reid?”

Spencer stood up and the others looked to him.

“You’re listed as Y/N’s emergency contact, can we talk to you privately for a moment?”

Reid followed the nurse out of the room and when he came back he looked only a fraction less pale than he had when he left, “He’s alive,” He breathed and slumped down into a chair.

“Oh thank God!” everyone let out a breath they didn’t know they’d been holding.

“What else did they say?”

“Not much, it’s too early to tell really, some of his wounds were very badly infected, they’ve got him on strong antibiotics and he’ll be in the ICU whilst he recovers. They’ve had to remove some skin on his face and some of the flesh underneath too, the road to recovery is going to be extremely painful and difficult, and he’s not out of the woods yet. They’re going to wake him from the anaesthetic soon.” Reid listed off everything the nurse had told him and the others listened in horror at the grim reality.

“Spencer, it’s completely up to you, do want one of us to stay with you?” Hotch asked gently, concern evident in his voice and demeanour. Spencer shook his head and Hotch shared a look with Emily and JJ of silent agreement that they would all take it in turns to check in with him every now and then. “Okay, well we should get back to the others anyway, give them an update, and you can call if you need anything.” He said, standing up and looking to the doorway to find a nurse waiting to direct Spencer to the private room you would soon be moved to.

When they wheeled your bed into the room Spencer got up and walked towards you, and you turned your head to him groaning as you did so. You pressed the button on the morphine drip you’d been given and hoped it would kick in soon.

“Hi.” Spencer said, smiling at you, you tried to smile back but your movement was severely restricted. You turned the left side of your mouth upwards and reached your hand out towards him.

“Hi yourself,” You croaked out, mouth feeling like sandpaper as you spoke. You coughed and Spencer’s face crumpled in concern. “Water?” You requested and looked towards the nurse who nodded her head and left to grab a jug from the nearest nurses station.

When she returned a minute later Spencer took the jug and poured you a drink, moving to press the button to raise the head of the bed upwards so you wouldn’t choke. He put a straw into the cup and held it up to your face as you took a sip. Your throat felt better instantly, and you sighed a little as you realised that the meds had kicked in too.

“Thank you” You said, looking up from the cup in his hands to see his eyes were glistening and it was your turn to frown. “What is it?”

“Nothing for you to worry about,” Spencer put the water down and ran a thumb over the back of your hand as he took it, sitting down in the bedside chair as he did so.

“If you say so,” You said, using the remote for the bed to lay yourself back down so you were more comfortable. “Spence, I’ve just used that morphine they gave me and it seems to be working for the most part, but my damn leg feels like it’s on fire, what’s up with that?”

Spencer’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but closed it again before he frowned once more. “Which leg?” He asked, his voice wobbling slightly.

“The Right one,” you replied.

“Oh” Spencer’s face went pale as he looked from your face down to the end of the bed.

“What?” You could feel panic rising in your chest as you struggled to work out what was wrong. You used the button on the bed once more to sit up again, sitting further this time until you could see for yourself what the issue was. Your mouth dropped open and tears welled in your eyes as you realised why he hadn’t said anything else. “Oh,” you echoed his earlier sentiment and pressed the button once more to lay down again. You felt sick, but given your empty stomach you knew you weren’t about to vomit. You dropped Spencer’s hand and looked away from him. “What else should I know about?”.

“Uh, I… I don’t know, you have a lot of wounds.” He answered, looking away and then back down at you.

“How bad?”

“You’re going to need skin grafts for one of them.”

“Where?”

“Your face.” He looked down at his hands and picked at a piece of skin on one of his index fingers.

“Okay.”

You lay in silence, not looking back at Spencer ignoring his attempts at talking to you. Eventually he gave up and sat back in his chair and you shut your eyes and after a while of laying listening to the noises of the hospital you fell asleep again.

When you woke later you turned to the side to see that he had fallen asleep next to you, hand resting on his palm as he leant on the arm of the chair. You watched him sleep peacefully and the slow steady rhythm of his breathing lulled you back to sleep.

~~~

The next few days went by painfully slowly, Spencer never left the hospital, rarely leaving your side other than when he needed to use the bathroom or get something to eat. He ignored everyone’s pleas to go home and shower and get some proper sleep in an actual bed, because he didn’t want to leave you alone, especially not in this headspace. Even though you refused to talk about it he knew that the mental ramifications of your ordeal and the injuries you’d sustained and the scars you would now carry for the rest of your life were taking it’s toll on you. Multiple times he had to wake you as you pleaded to the images in your head not to hurt you anymore. You told him on multiple occasions that you would be perfectly fine in the capable hands of the doctors and nurses but still he insisted on staying with you.

After days of the same it took Garcia coming to the hospital and practically begging Spencer to get him to leave, she promised she would call him immediately if you needed him and he made her swear that someone would constantly be there whilst he went home to catch up with himself for a night.

When he returned the next morning he found Rossi sat in the chair beside your bed, who nodded towards the younger agent and stood up interlocking his hands behind his head and stretching as he yawned.

“Thank you for staying with him.” Spencer offered his appreciation as he took the seat that had just been vacated.

“No need to thank me kid, he’s one of us, I’m here for myself as much as for you.” Rossi turned and left the room, heading to grab himself a coffee before he went to work.

The corner of Spencer’s mouth turned upwards as he realised just how much of an impact you’d had on everyone in the BAU. As he sat thinking about everything you’d been through in your time at the FBI you woke up, blinking slowly as you scrunched up your eyes against the daylight streaming in through the window. You’d never been much of a morning person and you grumbled as you looked over at the clock he’d brought for you on the bedside table.

“Please tell me you only just got here.” You grumbled, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

“I swear!” He held a hand over his heart and the other up in the air, “I promise you that I only just got here, I got a full night’s sleep and I even showered this morning!”

“Good” You mumbled, scratching the skin above the dressing on your face.

“That probably needs changing” He pointed to it and you nodded.

“I want to see” you said, more for your own conviction than an explanation for him but he turned back to look at you once more from where he’d swivelled to press the call button on the wall.

“I don’t…”

“Don’t tell me that you don’t think it’s a good idea, or that you don’t want me to get upset. It’s my face, I’m going to see it sooner or later, so why not sooner?” you said, folding your arms across your chest. You’re already seen your leg, or rather, what was left of your leg after it had been amputated just below the shin, and now you were sure you were ready. Or you thought you were sure. Now that it might actually happen you were starting to feel nervous and you’d hoped Spencer wouldn’t put up too much of a fight as you thought any resolve might’ve left you.

“Okay, okay, if you insist,” he said and you sighed a little.

As the nurse came into the room he explained the situation and you sat quietly and nodded when the nurse was making sure you were ready to see the damage and understood that there were a whole number of possible surgeries waiting for you in the future and that you didn’t need to worry about it at all.

As she peeled the dressing away Spencer winced slightly, and you swallowed hard against the lump in your throat. You picked up the mirror that the nurse had brought in with her and slowly angled it so that you could see yourself. You gasped when you saw the full extent of the injury. Starting from just below your top jaw was a gaping wound in your skin. You swallowed and watched the muscles move as you did so and closed your eyes for a second to stop yourself from retching. When you opened them again you took in the detail of the teeth that were visible through what should’ve been your cheek, and let your eyes wander down to your jaw, equal parts horrified and unable to look away. You put the mirror down and nodded to the nurse when she asked if she should redress the wound now. You didn’t speak until she was finished and had left the room.

“I look like a walker.”

“A what?” Spencer queried, cocking his head to one side.

“Uh, sorry, I forgot you don’t do television, Walker is the term they give to the zombies in The Walking Dead.”

“Oh.” Spencer said looking down into his lap.

“Oh? I tell you I look like a zombie and the only thing you can say is ‘oh’?” you laughed, feigning offence.

“I’m… Um, of course you don’t! I’m sorry! I didn’t really know how to respond to that, you caught me off guard, please don’t take my inability to communicate in that moment as anything more than exactly what it is!” Spencer fiddled with his watch, twisting it around to the underside of his wrist and then back up again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound so accusatory, I was trying to make a joke,” you put your hand on Spencer’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

He sighed and reached out to cup your other cheek in his hand, “You’re a windup sometimes Y/L/N”

“Thank you” you smirked with the good half of your face.

He moved his hand and shoved your shoulder laughing himself. His laugh made the feeling of disgust dissipate from your stomach and you spent the rest of the day trying to keep him laughing. At the end of the day you managed to convince him to go home again, promising him that he didn’t need to ask anyone to come and sit with you, and that you’d call him if you needed to speak to anyone.

When he left the feeling of disgust returned, only this time with it came an anger at your kidnapper that you hadn’t really felt until this moment. You lay down on the bed on your left hand side, tears rolling down the good side of your face. You were glad to have this moment of weakness by yourself, and vowed to keep Spencer away from this feeling you were keeping inside, he’d been through so much, you didn’t need to add to his emotional baggage with something neither of you could change.

~~~

A few months later and you were laying alone in your apartment on your couch, staring at the television but not really watching anything. You heard a knocking on your door but you ignored it, hoping whomever it was would think you were out and leave you alone.

Y/N! I know you’re home! Open the door please!” Spencer was knelt down on your front doorstep, shouting through the letterbox.

You continued to ignore him, taking another swig from the bottle you held.

“If you don’t open it, we will!” Another shout came from the front door and you recognised Morgan’s voice and you decided to unlock it rather than face the bill your landlord would dump on you if he kicked it in. You put your drink down and pushed yourself up onto your foot, grabbing the crutches you’d yet to get fully used to using.

“Please leave me alone” You said when you opened it whilst it was still on the chain. You pushed it shut again but stayed stood by the door knowing full well they wouldn’t just leave that easily.

“Please, Y/N, we just want to know you’re okay! It’s been a week since anyone’s heard from you, just let us in and we’ll be out of your hair in as little time as it took you to answer the door,” Spencer pleaded through the slot.

You undid the chain and opened the door once more, swinging it open as you stumbled back into your living room, taking another drink after you flopped back down onto the couch letting the crutches slide to the floor. Spencer and Derek walked into the dark hallway, flicking on the light as they did so and they were horrified by the state of your house. The floor was strewn with takeout rubbish, dirty laundry and empty bottles.

“Welcome to my shithole” You said, unenthusiastically and you forced a laugh which was as emotionless as you wished you were.

“Y/N, please, we get it, we really do, but you can’t just shut yourself away like this! Surely having all this stuff on the floor makes getting around difficult too, can we help you clear it up?” Morgan spoke as he pushed some rubbish to one side and sat on the other couch across the room.

“Do whatever you like, I really don’t care anymore” You said, downing the rest of your drink and shutting your eyes against the tears that threatened to spill.

“Budge up” You opened your eyes again to see Spencer stood next to the couch. You pushed yourself to one side and he sat next to you, looking at you with a furrowed brow.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not some charity case you need to pity you know”

“I’m not looking at you like anything!”

“It’s the pity I can’t stand”

“I’m sorry for caring!”

“Spencer please, for your own sake, don’t.”

“Unfortunately for you that’s not a decision I can make.”

“Lucky me” you roll your eyes and reach down to the side of the couch where you had a stash of drinks, you went to grab the bottle opener when you realised it wasn’t on the coffee table anymore.

You looked around to see Derek holding it and made a motion for him to throw it to you and twisted your lip up in annoyance when he shook his head. “Nuh uh, it’s 10am on a Saturday, you’re not  doing this.”

You leant back to put the bottle back down but lost your grip and it fell from your hand, shattering on the floor and Spencer jumped next to you.

“Bollocks!” You exclaimed. You smacked your forehead with your hand and threw yourself back against the couch.

“Well that’s one reaction to being told you’re cut off” Derek said, raising an eyebrow.

“Didn’t do it on purpose Morgan”

“I was trying to make you laugh dumbass” he smirked.

“Ha ha ha” you looked at him and shook your head.

“Ouch” He replied.

“Okay, look, I need to clean that up now, are you two done with your welfare check?” You asked and indicated to the floor.

“Please let me help you with that at least!” Spencer said exasperated.

“M’kay pretty boy, whatever will get you gone faster” You said, folding your arms.

The two got to work cleaning up the bottle and the sticky mess, you weren’t entirely sure what to do with yourself so you swung your other leg up onto the couch and closed your eyes. Before you knew it you were being gently shaken awake by Spencer and you stretched and yawned, headache beginning to form as the alcohol had begun to work it’s way out of your system. You groaned and sat up looking round at the room. To your surprise the two had used your impromptu nap to clear up as much of the room as they could and you looked at the clock on your mantlepiece and saw it was now 3pm. You looked around and realised Derek must’ve left as you noted the lack of car outside the window.

“Sorry, must’ve needed that sleep” you mumbled as Spencer moved you slightly and sat down, putting your legs back down onto his lap.

“Please don’t apologise. I wish you’d come to me when you were struggling rather than shutting me out. It was actually nice to be able to do something that would help you”

“Really?”

“Of course! Why would you think I wouldn’t enjoy helping?”

“I guess after the way I broke it off with you, I didn’t think you’d ever want to do anything for me again”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Dumping someone by text is usually enough to be sure anybody would stop talking to you entirely, let alone want to help you”

“Well I guess I’m not just anybody, I can’t just switch off the part of me that loves you, even if you did break my heart.”

“You still love me?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“I figured you’d stopped loving me the minute you saw how ugly I was.” You mumbled the last sentence, looking down into your lap with tears in your eyes again.

“What?”

“When you first saw my face, in the hospital.”

“Y/N, you’re still the most handsome man on this entire planet, scars or no scars you’re gorgeous, plus I don’t just love you for the way you look, so even if you were somehow turned into a worm I’d still love you for your personality” He put his hand under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him, tears glistening his face too.

“Did you just make an internet culture reference?”

“JJ explained that one to me, I’d still rather have a book over a blog any day” He grinned and you put your hand over his, taking it away from your face and holding it. You moved around on the couch so you were sat flush with him and you leant into him, basking in the sense of belonging you’d missed so much.

“I’m sorry” You said again, tears rolling down your cheeks over the scarred and non-scarred indiscriminately.

“No apologies, remember?”

You nodded and leant onto his shoulder.

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Spencer, I love you too.”

[cumulo-stratus]

My brain on a regular basis

all day everyday

[reveseke]

Very important question..

Does anyone have good unsub!spencer fics ??? I need more unsub!spencer fics-

All the ones I found are abandoned.. so any recs ?

-🕷anon

I'm at school rn, but I'll post this out. Sadly I don't have any, maybe someone from tags or following has?

[softhairedhotch]

wrote a short lil clark kent x male reader fic that's over on ao3 if anyones interested <3

will be posting it on my smallville sideblog (@kryptokent) soon :3

[1s3v3n1]

This was so wholesome and sad but wholesome… you should definitely make more cowboy male reader this is just exellent 🙏🏾

okay but. imagine cowboy!reader is actually very educated. pro-LGBTQ, pro-choice, BLM, acab. very big speaker and doesn't take shit. BUT everyone thinks he isn't gonna educated and such until they're on a case dealing with like a trans kid and he's the first one to step up and comfort the kid and such. man im in the rabbit hole.

No no no no no but the way I've started one where something of this theme happens (I don't want to give too much away aha)

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: transphobia, sad reader :( (i teared up a little ngl - it's not sad, he's just sad), guns, bullet wound, fighting, briefly mentions some murders to set the scene a bit, someone calls reader a redneck

Also I just want to say that the relationship between Mia and (Y/N) is completely platonic, maybe familial (a bit older brother-y or fatherly) not anything else. Just because I'm panicking because they spend a lot of time joking about and I wanna make that clear.

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax

Your blood boils when you hear the case, an unsub has been targeting young families (parents and three kids all under the age of sixteen). The last family had a survivor, a twelve-year-old transgender girl named Mia, who was currently in the hospital being treated for a variety of injuries.

Your jaw clenches as you read the hospital report, whilst it wasn't too long (thankfully), you knew she would still have a lot to work through mentally.

"You alright over there, Eastwood?" Morgan asks.

"Just angers me, is all," You answer, not feeling the need to elaborate, feeling the source of your anger being fairly self-explanatory. You miss the concerned look Rossi and Hotch share. 

A few hours later, the jet landed, once everyone was situated at the police station, you turned to the team.

"I'm gonna head to the hospital, make sure Mia's okay," You said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Rossi’s the one that says it, but you can see everyone's thinking the same thing. 

"Wha- Why wouldn't it be?... Oh I see," You say as the penny finally drops and it clicks, "Y'all think 'cause I'm from the South I'm against her bein' herself?" You sigh softly, rubbing the back of your neck, "Have I not proved myself yet?"

No one says anything for a moment, shocked by the hurt that flashes in your eyes, before they can, you pick your hat back up, settling it on your head, "I'm headin' to the hospital,” You mumble, leaving the room before anyone can say anything.

When you leave the room, you rub your eyes with the back of your hand. 'Not crying,' You try and convince yourself, 'allergies.' You trying to ignore the fact you know, 100%, that you don't have any allergies. 

You get into one of the SUV's and begin making your way to the hospital, ignoring your phone as it lit up with various concerned messages.

The receptionist was a nice woman and was quick to show you to Mia's room (after staring at you hungrily for a few minutes). You gave a small knock before walking in.

"Are you here to tell me I'm too young to know myself as well?" 

You furrow your eyebrows, "No, who told you that?" 

"One of the nurses," She answers with a shrug. 

"You know which one?" 

"The guy with brown hair," She shrugs as she answers, "It's fine though, happens all the time." 

"I personally don't think y'all are too young to realise who you are," You said with a shrug, "I think anyone who thinks that is trynna hide their bias by invalidatin' your identity."

Mia looks at you for a moment, "I like you." She states, "I thought you were going to be against it." 

"I've been gettin' that a lot today, it would seem," You mumble before your head snaps to the door, relaxing when it's just JJ. "Anyway, I'm (Y/N), this is my colleague, Agent Jareau. Mia, you a'right if we ask you a few questions?" 

"Sure,"

"Could you run us through what happened that night?"

"Mum and dad were cooking. We were all sitting at the table doing our homework, and someone knocked on the door." Mia began, "They asked me to open the door, and he grabbed me and put a gun to my head. He shot my dad, then-"

You gave her a small, encouraging smile, "You're doin' great,"

"Did you get a look at the person that did this?" JJ asked, when Mia nodded, she continued, "What did they look like?"

Your eyes widen in worry as the heart machine next to Mia picks up, as does her breathing. You pull yourself together and turn your attention to her, "Mia? Mia, hey," Your voice is soft as you kneel next to her, "You need to take some deep breaths for me sweetheart,"

"Can't-"

You nod at her, "Yes, yes you can," You encourage, "Deep breaths, in, one, two, three, four, five, and out. That was good, keep going," 

It takes a moment, but her breathing evens out and she appeared to be less anxious, "There we go," You grin, "Told ya," 

"Okay, Texas," Your jaw drops slightly, the joke catching you off guard. 

"That's not fair, I can't even say anythin' back without bullin' a child," 

"Ha ha." She responds, you throw your hands up in the air, smiling when she laughs at you. 

JJ rolls her eyes slightly at you with a small smile as the doctor walks in with a few nurses for a routine checkup. Your eyebrows furrow when you see a male nurse with brown hair. Your eyes flick to the name badge, 'Darren', assuming this is the same nurse, you make a mental note of his name.

"We'll be just outside, a'right?"

Her hand shoots out, clinging onto your sleeve, "No! Don't leave!" She looks at you slightly hesitantly, "Please?"

"Hey, hey, it's a'right, I'll stay here," You answer, eyes flicking down to her for a moment before turning to JJ.

"Hotch wants me to go with Morgan to the scene," JJ said, "You good here? I'll let him know,"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good here and thanks," You give a small smile.

When the doctor and nurses left, you turned to Mia, "That nurse you mentioned earlier? The brown-haired one? Was he in the room just now?" 

Mia nodded, "Yeah,"

"Had a name badge on, name Darren?" Mia nodded once more. "Alright, I'll be back in a moment,"

"Where are you going?"

"I just want a quick word with this Darren fella," You shrug, seeing the look on Mia's face you roll your eyes slightly, "Don't you worry your little head about it, I'm not gonna hurt him or anythin'."

"Okay..." She said.

"Is that a'right?"

Mia shrugged, "Sure." You nodded before exiting the room.

Furrowing your eyes when you came face to face with Rossi, "Howdy, I'm just popping out for a few," You said. 

Rossi nodded, walking into the room after you had left. "I'm Agent Rossi," He said, "I work with (Y/N),"

"The cowboy?"

"Yeah, the cowboy," Rossi huffs a small laugh as he sits in his seat. "Have the staff here been treating you okay?"

Mia shrugs, "Yeah," She answers, "There was one nurse but I think Texas has gone to sort him out or something. He might beat him up."

Rossi smiles slightly, "Texas?" 

"Yeah, the cowboy," She said, "I think he's frustrated that everyone keeps assuming he's going to be against me being trans... I'd be frustrated too, I think," She added after a moment's thought. 

You leave Mia, now feeling slightly better that Rossi will be there whilst you're gone. Spotting your target, you speed up.

"Excuse me! Nurse?" The man turns towards you, Darren. "I just wanted to have a word with you about Mia?"

You watch as Darren shifts uncomfortably. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say that perhaps telling someone they're too young to understand 'emselves probably doesn't make 'em feel a whole lotta good about 'emselves."

Darren looks you up and down slightly as he takes a few steps towards you. "And what exactly do you know?" He scoffs, "I'm surprised a redneck such as yourself can read and write."

"That's some nice deflection there," You said sarcastically, trying not to let it show how much the stereotypes flung into your face hurt. "Just... don't be a dick. If you don't understand somethin', look it up. I'm sure you can read. So perhaps do your research before you project onto a twelve year old girl." With that, you give a forced smile before turning on your heels and head back to Mia's room.

"Welp, that outta have done it," You give a lopsided grin, "A'right Rossi?" 

"I'm fine Kid, you okay?" 

"Yes sir," You answered, "I might grab myself a drink, y'all want anything?"

Mia laughs, "Y'all?"

"Rossi, Imma need your assistance, I'm getting bullied by a twelve year old," 

"Sorry, Kiddo, can't help you there." He chuckled, "I will ask that you grab me a coffee though."

"Coming right up!" 

Hours later, she's sat up on the bed whilst you're sat on a chair (a rather uncomfortable one) next to the bed, Rossi having left an hour ago, both of your gazes focused on a small, empty glass bottle that stood on the overbed tables. Each armed with a small piece of string as a makeshift lasso. 

"You're not a very good cowboy, are you?" Mia observes as you miss once more. 

"Hey, I haven't done this in a while," 

"How longs a while? Never?" She asked, throwing the lasso perfectly once more. 

"I'll have you know its been, okay so it's been like ten years, a'right? You were two last time I had to lasso something," 

"Wow, you're old." 

"I had no idea twelve year olds were so mean, you're about to make a grown man cry,"

Mia gave a laugh, you quickly joining in. You flung the lasso half-heartedly, eyes widening as it hit its target perfectly. "Yeehaw!" 

"Yeehaw? Seriously? You're so lame." You jaw dropped once more. You both jumped as gunshots echoed throughout the hospital, you sat up straight, immediately turning to Mia.

"Mia, I need you to take this," You handed your phone over to her, "The pass code is 1999, okay? You need to phone Hotch. Lock the door behind me, go into the bathroom and lock that door too, okay?"

Mia looked up at you with wide, scared eyes, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I'm gonna be absolutely fine, a'right?" When she nodded, you gave her a smile, "Don't open this door until I tell you to, or Hotch phones and says to okay?" 

You shut the door, not moving until you heard it lock in place. When you heard the soft click, you nodded to yourself as you began to make your way towards sound.

Seeing a nurse, you jogged up to her, "Ma'am, try and get everyone into their rooms, tell them not to come out, okay?" The nurse nods and runs off. You continue cautiously towards the sound of gunshots, revolver clutched in your hands.

When you find him, he's holding a person close to his chest, what with that and the people running past you, you don't have a clear shot. You meeting eyes with the wide yes of the hostage against his chest, you look at her, giving a small nod as you inch closer. 

When the moment's right, she ducks her head, pulls her elbow back, before slamming it into the guy's ribs. As he curls over, she wiggles out of her grasp, joining the others in fleeing. With a sigh, you brace yourself before charging at the man, tackling him to the floor.

It takes a moment for the unsub to recover, in that time you've delivered a few blows to his face, both of your guns falling during the tackle. He's quick to flip you over, he aims for the torso first, delivering a handful of well-aimed punches. Next, he takes a fist of your hair, slamming your head into the floor. Once, twice, three times before you get the momentum needed to push him off you.

You staggered up, paying no mind to the pain in your head throbbing in beat with your pulse, the blood on the side of you head that's slowly dripping into your eye, or the ache that's spread through your abdomen. You had to either distract this guy until the team got here or knock him out. Either way, you weren't about to let yourself pass out and let this bastard hurt Mia.

As you're breathing deeply through the pain, the unsub has stood, he (however) is not as chivalrous, so he takes the moment make his way over to you. He grabs your shoulders as he pulls his knee to your groin, pushing you to the floor as you double over in pain. Happy with having the advantage, he continues to aim cheap blows to your sides.

Despite this, you stumble up once more, you keeping your left arm wrapped close to your ribs on your right. They were definitely bruised as a minimum. You duck the punch sent your way, wincing slightly as it pulls on your arm and ribs. Both of your eyes lock on the gun at the same time as the pair of you dive for it. He reaches it first, gripping it tightly in his hands as you immediately go for it, to loosen his grip, anything you can think of.

There's a bang and you grunt as a bullet enters the top of your left arm, adding insult to injury. Okay, so disarming him didn't really work.

"FBI!" You sigh in relief as the unsub is pulled away from you, letting your head fall against the cold floor with your eyes closed - trying to get a grip on the pain. You listen as they cuff the bastard before dragging him out of the hospital. You let your eyes flutter open as you begin to push yourself off of the floor. 

"I'm fine," You mumbled, shrugging Hotch's hands off you, "I'm fine, check on Mia."

"Morgan, stay with (Y/N)."

When Hotch is gone, you turn to Morgan, "I'm fine, go help Hotch."

"Sorry, got my order," Morgan said with a shrug. You don't answer, as much as you don't want to admit it, the pain was really starting you affect your headspace. You felt like you couldn't think. "Come on, let's get you checked out." 

You shook your head, "No, I need to check on Mia first," You mumbled, giving a low groan as you pushed yourself up. 

"Alright, lead the way," Morgan said. You don't answer, simply forcing one foot in front of the other until you're back at Mia's room.

"Is he okay?!" You hear Mia's question through the door.

"He's okay," You hear Hotch reassuring her.

"Then where is he?! He said he'd be here as soon as he could!" Mia's panic causes your eyebrows to furrow, "Oh god, he's dead, isn't he?"

You push the door open, trying to look as put together as possible for Mia, not wanting her to panic. "I'm very much alive, thank you very much," You say.

"I thought he killed you!" She exclaims, rushing towards you. You groan when Mia flings her arms around you, burying her head in your chest and she immediately steps back, seeing the blood her eyes widen. "Holy shit he shot you?!"

"Hey, language," 

"Sorry Texas," She grins, and you roll your eyes. 

"Texas?" Morgan grins, "Oh, that is so sticking around,"

You groan slightly, "Seriously?"

"Seriously." 

You turn to Mia, "Thanks kid," You say sarcastically.

"No problem, old man." Your jaw drops once more.

"I don't know if my ego can take all these insults," 

"I don't know what y'all are talkin' about I would never do such a thing to y'all," She says, trying her best to do an impersonation, giggling slightly at the look of disbelief on your face. 

"That- Now that was just a bridge too far-" You barely get the sentence out before you're huffing a laugh (and then wincing because of said laugh).

"Alright, come on, Texas," Derek smirks, placing a hand on your shoulder, "Let's go get you checked out."

You weren’t too injured (thankfully), minus the bullet wound, it was mostly just bruises. Eventually, you were all stitched up and laid in a hospital bed - which you hated, but Hotch had glared at you when you went to protest. 

A soft knock echoed through the door before it opened, a blonde woman poking her head round. You frowned slightly, not recognising her.

"Hi, I'm Mia's aunt," The woman says and you straighten up (ignoring the discomfort).

"Ma'am," You said with a nod.

"I just wanted to say thank you," 

"What for?" You furrowed your eyebrows as she raised hers, motioning to your current state. "Ma'am I was just doing my job."

"Well, either way, thank you." 

You give a small smile, "No worries, Ma'am."

“I’m going to be her guardian now that-” Mia’s aunt paused, taking a deep breath to compose herself before she continued, “After everything and I really appreciate what you did for her.”

You give her a small smile, “Of course, Ma’am.”

She gives you one last smile as she leaves the room, “Oh, agent?” You look at her, “Is it alright if I bring Mia in? We’re about to head off and she wanted to say goodbye.”

You nod, “Yeah, yeah, of course,” 

When the door closes, you push yourself the best you can, the door opens a few minutes later and Mia walks in.

“How y’all healin’?”

“First, I wouldn’t say y’all if it’s just one person,” You said, rolling your eyes, “Second, I’m doin’ a’right,”

“You missed like seven letters in that sentence,” She laughs, you huff a small laugh, forcing a wince down.

“It’s an art form,” You reply. "Your aunt seems nice,"

“She is, I’m going to live with her,” Mia says, smiling, “She lives in California. I can’t wait, apparently my uncle’s been getting a room ready for me,”

“That’s great,” You smiled. "How are you feeling in yourself?" 

"I'm okay," Mia said with a shrug, "I know it's going to be a while until I'm back to one hundred percent, but I'm willing to put in the work."

"Smart kid," You said, "You'll be okay." 

"Oh, Aunty Meg you should have been there earlier! Texas was all like 'how are y'all doin'?' And he made lassos but he was absolutely useless with one and the last time he used one was when I was two and…"

Mia's voice faded as you looked at the hat on the table for a moment, lightly taking it in your own hands, brushing over the material lightly with the pad of your thumb. It was one of your favourite hats. You looked up, seeing the grin on Mia's face as she did her best cowboy impressions, you smiled. "Hey, I think you'll find, every southerner - impersonator or not - needs their very own hat," You said, reaching over to place it on her head. "Perfect, a true southerner!"

"Well I'll be damned!" Mia exclaimed, tilting the hat slightly. 

"Come on, we need to make a move," Mia's aunt said. "I think Uncle Jack's getting restless waiting for us,"

Mia nodded, reaching up and taking the hat off before handing it over to you. You shook your head. 

"Nah, you keep it kiddo, I've got hundreds." You give her a smile. 

Mia walked forward, clinging onto you as she buried her head in your chest, you ignored the dull ache that flared up in your chest as you hugged her back, "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too, kiddo," You say, lifting one hand to wipe at your eyes. 

"Are you crying?" Mia asked softly. 

"No." You answered, "I've got allergies."

You wait for Mia to let go before you do, you gave her a small smile, "See you later, a'right?" She nodded, quickly wiping her eyes. 

"See you later Texas," 

The door shut quietly behind the two of them and you were enveloped once more in silence.

Whilst everyone was wrapping up the case, you were sitting in a hospital bed, bored out of your skull. With a sigh, you pushed yourself up, sneaking past the nurses and doctors as you made your way outside, wanting some fresh air. 

You sat yourself down opposite the hospital in the grass, letting yourself pluck a blade of grass from the ground, running it through your fingers as you lost yourself in your thoughts. 

You kept your eyes trained on the grass as Hotch sat down next to you. The pair of you sitting in silence for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“‘M fine, sir,” The answer rolls off your tongue. “Nothing to worry about,”

“If you want to get something off your chest, you can always talk to me,” 

“I know, Hotch,” You said, “I just… struggle with the whole talkin’ about how you’re feelin’,”

Hotch nods in understanding, for someone who doesn’t talk about it, you sure do end up giving a lot away. You both sit in silence.

"I know people think I'm stupid," You mumble, staring intently at the blade of grass between your fingers as you spoke, "I know I have that Southern drawl," You exaggerate your accent slightly before continuing, "That I don't exactly talk like y'all. I know some just see me as some redneck, but I can hold my own. I ain't stupid. And I certainly ain't no bigot."

"I know, we all know that." Hotch replies.

"But you didn't." You pointed out before sighing, "Whatever, it doesn't matter..."

"We were concerned because there was no way could have known."

"You could've just trusted me," You said, “I have, in no way, given any of y’all a reason to believe that I am against anyone in that community. And I get it, I do, it just… stings, is all.”

Hotch doesn’t speak, unsure of what to actually say. Because he did jump to conclusions, they all did. 

"I think if she didn't have any family I would have adopted her, or at least tried to, anway," Your eyebrows are furrowed, gaze deepening at the blade of grass as you tore it apart in your hands. "But, hey, she's happy, that's the main thing and her aunt seems like a lovely woman."

With that, you push yourself off of the grass, ignoring the ache that shoots through your body. Leaving Hotch sat on the curb with a frown as you limped back into the hospital for one final check-up before your flight.

You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, “Fuckin’ allergies.”

[ralvezfanatic]

Emily: I like your top, Spencer!

Y/N: I have a name, you know.

Spencer: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

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