#clown emoji rating

[p5buecks]

lipstick kisses

paige bueckers x reader

you ask paige to do a tiktok trend with you

no cw just a cutie little fic

in honour of tiktok ~maybe~ getting banned in a few days and because i have a sick obsession with p’s arms

ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `

“Paigeeee…” You drag out your girlfriends name as you prop yourself up on her bed. She’s been engrossed in a game of Fortnight at her desk for the past hour but she still gives you the entirety of her attention, hitting the pause button and turning to face you. “Yes baby? What’s up?” She asks, removing the headphones she’s wearing and placing them around her neck. “There’s this trend on TikTok, I don’t know if you’ve seen it but… I kinda want to do it, with you.” You shyly admit.

You and Paige were no strangers to TikTok, both participating in trends often but you had never done one together. Fair enough, you’d never asked but neither had she so you assumed she was against the idea. “What trend? ‘Cause if it’s tripping out, I’m done. I’ve already been clowned-” You cut Paige off with a giggle, “It’s not that P and for the record, I think you trip out just fine.” You reassured your girlfriend before pulling up the trend you actually wanted Paige to do.

She watched your phone screen intently, eyes focused and brows slightly furrowed as she concentrated. In turn, you watched her, looking for any signs of contempt but when the edges of her mouth curved upwards as the video came to an end, you knew Paige was game.

“Sure, let’s do it.” She nodded at you and you couldn’t help but grin, “Really?” You ask, giving her the opportunity to back out. “Do anything for you, you know that.” Paige assures you and you raise your brows mischievously, “Anything?” You get a scoff in response, “Almost anything.”

“You never wear red lipstick.” Paige notes as you carefully line your lips and fill them in with a deep cherry shade. “Doesn’t suit me.” You reply, popping your lips exaggeratedly before turning to face her with with a full pout. “T’does, makes your lips look fuckin’ great to be honest.” You know Paige isn’t lying because her crystal blue eyes are focused on your mouth and she hasn’t blinked once. Mental note: start wearing red lipstick.

Paige tucks her t-shirt sleeve up into the strap of her sports bra, exposing her toned bicep. You swallow hard, not even bothering to try and remain composed. Your girlfriend was hot, she turned you on bad and you loved letting her know just that. “Shit P, might accidentally bite your arm instead of kiss it.” You joked, squeezing her toned muscles. She laughed her usual goofy laugh, nose scrunching up and eyes closing, “Damn, fine by me ma. That’s not going on TikTok though.”

Kissing up the length of Paiges arm, her soft skin under your lips was more difficult than you anticipated. It was a challenge stopping yourself from actually biting and sucking her at her skin. You reached her collarbone and heard her breathing hitch and with each kiss pressed on her, you could feel her heart rate increase.

“Babe, you gon have me actin’ up in sec.” Paige husked, her large hand coming up to rest on your hip as you leaned over her, your lipstick covered lips now reaching her sharp jaw. “There! All done.” You say proudly, leaning back to get a look at your handiwork. Paiges right arm, from her hand all the way up her forearm, over her bicep, across her collarbone and along her jaw was littered with the print of your lips.

You reached for your phone, opening TikTok and as Get You by Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis played, you slowly focused your camera on Paiges arm and followed the trail of kisses. Paige had her face turned from you but that didn’t hide her signature smirk. You uploaded the video straight away, putting a simple kiss emoji as the caption and while Paige went to clean her arm, you watched as the comments and likes flooded in.

People knew you and Paige were together but neither of you had ever posted something so blatant, this was definitely new territory.

‘living my dream fr’

‘i know paige bueckers bicep when i see it’

‘my fave couple!’

‘MOMS’

‘this called me single in 3 different languages’

‘😳😳😳’

You giggled to yourself and liked a few comments before going to find Paige. You could hear her exaggerated huffs coming from the bathroom and find her with her arm under the running tap, a pile of red stained paper towels next to her. “This shit ain’t coming off.” She groaned, lifting her arm to show you the faded kiss marks, “And I have a match tomorrow.” She continued to scrub at her skin, “I’ll sort it babe, chill.” You tell her opening the cupboard beneath the sink. You had your own supply of products at Paiges for when you stayed over and you reached for the micellar water and cotton rounds.

You gently wiped over Paiges arm until there wasn’t a trace of red to be seen, “Like it never happened.” You say, throwing the used rounds into the trash and Paige pulls you into her by your waist, “You wanna do it again?” She hums into your ear, “What happened to I have a game tomorrow?” You mock her previous moody statement, “This time without the lipstick baby.” She clarifies and who would you be to decline that kind of offer?

hi i guess, thank u for reading! any feedback is welcome and feel free to send me any requests! :))

[dragonbarbie]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 - modern!aemond targaryn x reader

rating: 18+, minors dni

summary: academic rivals, where revision has the same rules as strip poker

word count: 3.8k

tags: mature content, smut, modern!au, reader being petty and competitive, aemond also being petty and competitive, guest appearance by aegon

note: this is like… my first attempt at writing smut so ….*clown emoji* anyway hope you like it

y/n was used to being number 1. all throughout high school, be it history or physics – she had the highest grade in every class and was managing to do so without much effort, really. she hadn’t expected that to change when she landed her dream university, dragonstone. but when she arrived she had the rude shock of getting acquainted with aemond targaryen. first day of their valyrian history class, she had expected to impress her professor with the extensive knowledge on the subject that had been one of her favourites in high school, but when she found herself being beaten to the punch by the blonde bastard, she took an instant dislike to him.

pettily enough, as everyone was leaving the class, she made a show of saying “suck-up” in a not so quiet whisper as she passed him by. “excuse me?” his condescending, posh tone made her eyes roll. “all i did was answer his questions. i wasn’t the one gushing about the books he had written.” he sharply pointed out. “whatever.” she tried to brush off the retort. “if you’re so jealous, maybe actually read before class next time, instead of whining.” he coolly stated as he stalked off, leaving her behind as she gritted her teeth and glared at his striding figure.

from that point onwards, every class that she shared with him, she made a deliberate effort to work extra hard for. she went beyond just the recommended readings, she would write extra few hundred words for every essay, and for every test she would spend hours in preparation. still, frustratingly, all of this effort only made her good competition for him and not the outright winner. it seemed that aemond targaryen was in fact used to going beyond just the bare minimum, she didn’t ever see him take a break. if he wasn’t at the library, she found him sweating it out on the track field. his perfection was downright annoying.

what her friend baela found annoying, was the detail with which y/n would observe (obsess over) his daily behaviour and then rant about it to her. by the time finals week was on the horizon, she was just about done with y/n’s obsession.

y/n had been in the middle of ranting about how she had caught aemond revising for finals on the treadmill, when baela slammed the book that was open in front of her with frustration. “why don’t you just join him then?” she sarcastically asked, earning a “yeah right” from y/n who returned back to her notes as she realised that all this talk of her rival had clearly seemed to drive her friend to the point of irritation. “actually… why not?” though she had asked the question rhetorically, baela soon realised that perhaps that wasn’t such a crazy idea after all. y/n, did not share that understanding. she blinked back at her “i’m sorry am i supposed to say something or just wait in silence while you regain your senses. what are you talking about?”

“you said it yourself, you study better with a partner. and i don’t have any of the same classes as you.” the thought of baela having fun studying marine biology while y/n had to suffer aemond targaryen’s presence all alone at the history department was a point that brought her great sadness each day. “he does. and you have to admit it, he’s pretty good.”

as soon as y/n opened her mouth with a retort right on her tongue, baela silenced her with one pointed sentence “i have one reply to all your objections — keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

oh, y/n thought, she’d never thought of it that way. “besides,” baela reopened the book she had shut, “this way you can keep an even closer eye on his schedule.” she teased.

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

aemond somehow didn’t need to lift his eye to know who it was that had approached the corner library desk that had become his unofficial residence for finals weeks. “can i help you, l/n?” he asked, as she stopped before him. “no, but i can certainly help you, targaryen.” she announced, pulling out the chair across from him and putting her laptop bag down on the desk. he wordlessly raised his brow as she made herself comfortable. “look—” she knew that selling the idea to him was going to be just as hard as it was for it to be sold to her, but she was as stubborn as she was competitive, “—if we work together, our work will be halved. i can beat your ass at history of tyrosh and the origins of dorne any day of the week, and you are marginally better than me at valyrian history and aegon’s conquest. i am proposing that we sit and quiz each other on the exam portions and that way we’re both covered for our weaker subjects.”

she did not like the smug smirk that overcame his face at the suggestion. “so, you’ve come here to grovel for my help?” she could punch his perfect white teeth in. “look you little shit, while everyone on campus will be sweating and crying and chugging copious amounts of energy drinks to survive this week – we could be sailing through it, if we do this. our rivalry’s entertaining and all, but the stress of finals week will make even your fabulous hair fall out.”

“hmm.” he considered her words for a second. she rolled her eyes as he seemed to revel in making her wait for his response, “c’mon, targaryen, do it for the hair.” she was sure she saw his lips twitch upwards at her teasing.

“fine.” he finally gave in, causing y/n to sigh in relief, “but if you can’t keep up, i’m dropping you.” “likewise.” y/n promised.

she had to admit, studying with aemond was actually not that bad. their reading speed was similar, he kept her on her toes with his constant quizzing, and initially he had seemed to be singularly focused on the task at hand. as the days went on though, y/n found that they had actually started to talk of things beyond dead king and queens. “so, you’re like, related to the conqueror?” she asked as a manner of taking a break from their revision of her least favourite class, the conquest of westeros. “yeah, directly. he’s a great-great, times ten, grandfather.” he answered, turning the signet ring on his hand subconsciously. “that’s cheating, then. i’d be great at that class too if daddy had told me tales of grandpa aegon every night before bed.” she shrugged as she reached to grab the pot of black coffee, to refill her cup.

“well, ‘daddy’ didn’t even bother saying goodnight most nights, so let’s not attribute any of my success to him.” she looked up at him suddenly at the off-handed admission about his home life, but before she could really react, he added. “you just want there to be more to why i’m better than you, rather than accepting – i just am.” there was that smug smirk again, the one that she used to loath. but nowadays, that same smile was more playful than hostile, she had noted. “or, i’m trying to figure out if being an asshole is just who you are, or if it runs in your family. aegon burned half of westeros down to colonise it, so I’m leaning towards the latter.” “colonise?” he was clearly irritated at her choice of words. “one race of people, the valyrians, through violence made another race, the first men, submit to them. that’s the textbook definition of colonisation, is it not?” she raised her brow, inviting him to debate her. she knew it was the subject he felt most passionate about, and thus, it was the class where she would most often find herself playing devil’s advocate, for no reason other than to oppose whatever view aemond had taken. in their revision sessions, too, she liked to watch the passion light a fire in his eye whenever she would declare his opinion was wrong. he looked hot when he was academically pissed off.

���westeros was just different war lord states fighting for dominance until aegon united the seven kingdoms.” he firmly argued. “so what, that gave him open invite to just come and take over?” she challenged, crossing her arms with a self-satisfied grin at having gotten him so riled up already. he opened his mouth to throw his retort at her, when suddenly the door to aemond’s apartment, where they had been studying, swung open to disturb the proceedings.

she saw a man with platinum blonde hair that matched aemond’s stumbling as he entered the apartment with his arm around a beautiful girl, with black hair hanging down to her waist.

aemond, she noted, was visibly annoyed at this.

“oh, did we spoil your little study session?” the other man rhetorically asked, without any real remorse in his tone, his words slurring to indicate that he had been drinking. he sat himself down on the sofa next to y/n, uninvited, a move that inexplicably made aemond’s jaw tighten. “you must be my little brother’s study buddy, y/n. i know all about you, and i’m sure he’s told you nothing about me. i’m aegon, the nerd’s big bro.” y/n was immediately amused at the thought of this man, who was decked in a supreme tracksuit and who’s hair seemed to have been left uncombed, was the perfect, prim and proper aemond’s elder brother. “nice to meet you, aegon. are you studying at the university too?” “business major, yeah, graduating next year.” he replied stretching his hand to place it behind y/n. aemond snorted at his brother, “with the way your finals prep is going, i would not bother wasting money on a graduation gown.” he eyed the woman with whom aegon had entered, judgement clear in his eye.

“hey! i decided to follow your lead and i’ve asked cassandra here to be my study buddy. i’ve actually gone one step further than you and invented the best revision method.” he declared. aemond seemed to have no curiosity at his brother’s statement, but y/n asked “do tell.” aegon turned to her with a pleased smile, “it’s revision, but with strip poker rules.” he simply answered.

she raised a brow at his response, “as in…?” “as in you quiz each other, and every time one of you gets an answer wrong – you take an item of clothing off. it’s a win-win, if you get the answer right, good job, you know your shit. if you don’t…. well, its so much more fun if you don’t.” y/n had to purse her lips to suppress the laughter at the back of her throat.

at the sound of aemond packing up his books, she looked away from aegon to the younger brother. “let’s go to your dorm, y/n. he definitely doesn’t know his shit, and his ‘revision’ tends to be loud.”

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

as per y/n’s prediction, final’s week had indeed sailed by for aemond and her because of their revision sessions. they only had one exam left now, and it was the one they had both been dreading the most – historical methods. it was a subject that was so boring and plainly simple, that they knew it was easy enough to study for, but they could not bring themselves to revise something so mind-numbingly dull.

y/n, in her frustration, threw her notes on the table at aemond’s apartment. aemond, seated on the other end of the sofa from where y/n was lying on her back, shared her frustration, but he tended to be more stoic and was determined to finish the work on hand. “it’s just a few more topics, and then you never have to think about the subject ever again.” he tried to placate her. “it’s too boring, i can’t do it!” she complained bringing her hands up to her face in frustration. aemond couldn’t help but notice how the action made the t-shirt she was wearing ride up and expose soft skin just above her jean shorts, his eye remaining fixed on the spot for a second too long.

then, the mixture of a caffeine high and a boredom that was seeming like an unending chasm, gave birth to what y/n thought was a brilliant idea. she moved her fingers slightly, so only her eyes would poke out from behind them. “let’s try your brother’s idea.” she suddenly said, “i don’t think anyone has ever said that sentence before.” he remarked.

“i’m serious.” she sat up, as if to indicate her earnestness. “the ‘revision, but with strip poker rules’ idea, let’s try it.”

aemond’s expression was unreadable as she watched him, but she was certain she saw his adam’s apple move at the suggestion. “it’s a dumb idea.” he said, but his throat had gone dry at the thought.  y/n rolled her eyes, “that’s the point! it’ll break the monotony.” she crawled to his side of the sofa. “come on, aemond. don’t be a coward.” the suggestion of him even possibly being cowardly had clearly set off something in him. “fine.” he shut the book in his hand and placed it on the table.

they quizzed each other, and it was going much the same as their usual quizzing went, which disappointed y/n since it did not in fact break the monotony as she had wanted. that was until, in her over-confidence, she got a question wrong. “well…” aemond seemed to be very satisfied indeed at her wrong answer, “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” he scanned the white t-shirt she was wearing, almost with hunger and an expectancy, y/n thought.

she pulled the shirt off over her head, and threw it right at his smug face, “i’m no coward.” he caught it with ease, and for a split second she was sure he smelling it as he held it to his face, before dropping it in his lap. when he looked at her now, he didn’t even attempt to hide how he was taking in her figure, as she sat exposed only in her black bra. knowing that she was being watched, she sat straighter, even as she muttered “pervert” but made no attempt to hide her form.

 “please, don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love it.” now, that did take her aback. sure, she had caught him looking at her chest or her ass many-a time over their study sessions, and had done nothing to stop it, but she hadn’t realised that he had in fact, caught her catching him when he looked. he knew she had allowed it all this while, unspoken.

the monotony was certainly broken now.

when it was next aemond’s turn to ask a question, he threw her an easy one, a question she had answered in class. but y/n shrugged and said, “i don’t know”, as an answer. aemond snorted at her, “yeah, you do.”

she simply laid on her back as she undid her shorts and slid them down her legs, eyes never leaving aemond’s as she did. he wet his lower lip with his tongue, and then bit down as he watched. his eye trailed her bare legs, up to her panties, with very little being left to his imagination now that she sat only in her underwear on his sofa.

“my turn” she had the perfect trick question in mind, and when he called her out, saying “there is no right answer to that”, she shrugged once again. “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” she threw his words back in his face with a grin.

he didn’t seem to need a lot of convincing. he pulled off his shirt in one swift move, and y/n felt her stomach clench at the sight of defined muscles on pale skin. she took a minute to memorise his details before she asked him the next question, but she hadn’t even reached the end of it before aemond was unbuttoning his pants, answering the question by simply saying “don’t know, don’t care.” it seemed as if he was in a hurry, as if he had waited long enough for this moment.

y/n seemed to be in a hurry too, when she deliberately gave a rushed, wrong answer to his next question. she moved her knees to straddle him where he sat, able to feel everything through her own cotton panties over his satin boxers. “need some help with the bra hooks.” she said as an excuse for her action. he readily obliged, with his hands reaching behind her and unhooking her bra with ease, letting the material fall down to the floor. his hands trailed up from her waist to her chest, pale hands first covering and then roughly squeezing her breasts. she started to rock back and forth where she sat, her now wet panties grinding against his obvious bulge.

“it’s your turn to ask.” she breathlessly reminded him after a minute, “fuck revision.” he was trailing kisses around her collar bone, sucking hard enough to leave bruises, she was certain. ““fuck revision”? who are you and what have you done to aemond targaryen?” she chuckled. he only gave her a growl in return, as his arms snaked around her waist to hold her up and then place her back down, with her back hitting the soft sofa.

he hovered over her for a second, supporting himself on his knees as his fingertips traced her side. “you look so hot when you’re concentrating….” he murmured, seemingly out of nowhere, as his fingers found the waistband of her panties and hooked under them. “…and when you’re debating me….” he pulled the cloth over her legs, and his hand reached down to the wetness between her legs “… and especially, when someone tells you you’re right.” a shiver went down her spine she felt two of his cold fingers in her folds. “already so wet for me.” he chuckled.

“oh, would you stop being a tease and just…” at her complaint he withdrew his fingers suddenly, causing her to whine. “just what?” he asked, making her feel more frustrated with him than she had ever felt before. “did you really think i was going to let go of the perfect opportunity to make you beg for me? make you beg me, to fuck you?” oh, there was that stupid fucking smug smirk once again. Now, it was no secret that y/n had too much pride, especially when it came to facing off with aemond targaryen. but as she lay there, exposed and achingly wet, she decided she had to bury her pride to get what she wanted.

“aemond…” she swallowed, “fuck me.” that did not seem to give him what he wanted. he cocked his head to one side, “hmm. you’re missing something.” she huffed, thinking why he had to make this so difficult, and how satisfied he must be at getting her in this position. “aemond…fuck me….please.”

at that, he grinned. he bent down to be inches away from her face, “as you wish.”

she felt two of his fingers enter her suddenly, making her gasp. his fingers curled inside of her roughly, at the same time he started to kiss the side of her neck with more gentleness than she had expected of him. the dichotomy gave her a high. his fingers continued their assault, as her hands tangled themselves in his hair. “so tight…” he whispered against her ear, “how long have you been thinking about this, you little slut?” y/n could only hum back, not capable of formulating a well thought-out response.

Her legs clenched as he continued to dig his fingers inside of her with perfect rhythm. His thumb reached up to massage her clit, as her hand reach down to grab the arm that was inside of her, nails leaving scratch marks. A warmth spread around inside her stomach at the feeling.

when he suddenly pulled his fingers out, she groaned in frustration, “has anyone ever told you, you have no patience?” he tutted. y/n rolled her eyes as she sat forward and her hands moved to finally remove his boxers, “yes.”

with his boxers now discarded, he positioned her to lay back down on the sofa, her legs around his waist. his tip grazed her core, but he didn’t enter her which only added to her annoyance. “aemond, i swear to the old gods and the new, if you tease me for a second longer—” she was cut off by him slamming inside of her suddenly. “ah!” she moaned as he filled her, “that ought to shut you up.” he grunted, supporting himself by keeping a hand on the arm of the sofa that was beneath her head. “oh, gods… aemond…” she could feel him touching her spot, legs growing weaker with each thrust.

he was going at it with a ruthless pace, leaving her feeling helpless and satisfied at the same time. his mouth dipped and he began sucking on her nipple, his teeth grazing where she was sensitive, making her yelp in pleasure. she grabbed his shoulder, grip strong enough leave even more marks. as she felt his tongue circle the skin around her nipple, she made a mental note to tell his brother that she had come to agree that his method of revising was indeed ingenious.

“aemond…i’m…” she had begun to say, “yeah baby, almost there” he replied lifting his head to her face. he tucked a stray stand of her hair behind her ear, a gesture that felt more intimate than the sex. he placed his hand on her cheek before his lips finally met hers. she could taste the black coffee they had been drinking on his tongue, mixed with something minty like toothpaste. for all the roughness with which he fucked her, y/n realised that the kiss felt sweet, tender almost.

“fuck…” he said against her lips, and she could tell he was close too. “aemond…ah!” she reached her peak, just as he pulled out and finished on her stomach.

panting, breathless and sore, for once y/n did not have a retort in the presence of aemond targaryen. he seemed rather speechless too, as he remained above her, unspeaking but his eye refusing to leave her face. he seemed to be in deep thought, and just when he opened his mouth to speak, a different voice could be heard from down the hall.

“and you called my ‘revising’ loud.” aegon snorted, leaning against his bedroom door.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

A year in illustration, 2023 edition (part two)

(This is part two; part one is here.)

The West Midlands Police were kind enough to upload a high-rez of their surveillance camera control room to Flickr under a CC license (they've since deleted it), and it was the perfect frame for dozens of repeating clown images with HAL9000 red noses. This worked out great. The clown face is from a 1940s ad for novelty masks.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop

I spent an absurd amount of time transforming a photo I took of three pinball machines into union-busting themed tables, pulling in a bunch of images from old Soviet propaganda art. An editorial cartoon of Teddy Roosevelt with his big stick takes center stage, while a NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo's official portrait presides over the scene. I hand-made the eight-segment TILT displays.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

Working with the highest-possible rez sources makes all the difference in the world. Syvwlch's extremely high-rez paint-scraper is a gift to people writing about web-scraping, and the Matrix code waterfall mapped onto it like butter.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/17/how-to-think-about-scraping/

This old TWA ad depicting a young man eagerly pitching an older man has incredible body-language – so much so that when I replaced their heads with raw meat, the intent and character remained intact. I often struggle for background to put behind images like this, but high-rez currency imagery, with the blown up intaglio, crushes it.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

I transposed Photoshop instructions for turning a face into a zombie into Gimp instructions to make Zombie Uncle Sam. The guy looking at his watch kills me. He's from an old magazine illustration about radio broadcasting. What a face!

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/18/the-people-no/#tell-ya-what-i-want-what-i-really-really-want

The mansplaining guy from the TWA ad is back, but this time he's telling a whopper. It took so much work to give him that Pinnocchio nose. Clearly, he's lying about capitalism, hence the Atlas Shrugged cover. Bosch's "Garden of Earthly Delights" makes for an excellent, public domain hellscape fit for a nonconensual pitch about the miracle of capitalism.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/27/six-sells/#youre-holding-it-wrong

There's no better image for stories about techbros scamming rubes than Bosch's 'The Conjurer.' Throw in Jeff Bezos's head and an Amazon logo and you're off to the races. I boobytrapped this image by adding as many fingers as I could fit onto each of these figures in the hopes that someone could falsely accuse me of AI-generating this. No one did.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

Once again, it's Bosch to the rescue. Slap a different smiley-face emoji on each of the tormented figures in 'Garden of Earthly Delights' and you've got a perfect metaphor for the 'brand safety' problem of hard news dying online because brands don't want to be associated with unpleasant things, and the news is very unpleasant indeed.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/11/ad-jacency/#brand-safety

I really struggle to come up with images for my linkdump posts. I'm running out of ways to illustrate assortments and varieties. I got to noodling with a Kellogg's mini-cereal variety pack and I realized it was the perfect place for a vicious gorilla image I'd just found online in a WWI propaganda poster headed 'Destroy This Mad Brute.' I put so many fake AI tells in this one – extra pupils, extra fingers, a super-AI-esque Kellogg's logo.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/05/variegated/#nein

Bloodletting is the perfect metaphor for using rate-hikes to fight inflation. A vintage image of the Treasury, spattered with blood, makes a great backdrop. For the foreground, a medieval woodcut of bloodletting quacks – give one the head of Larry Summers, the other, Jerome Powell. For the patient, use Uncle Sam's head.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/20/bloodletting/#inflated-ego

I killed a long videoconference call slicing up an old pulp cover showing a killer robot zapping a couple of shrunken people in bell-jars. It was the ideal image to illustrate Big Tech's enshittification, especially when it was decorated with some classic tech slogans.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/22/who-wins-the-argument/#corporations-are-people-my-friend

There's something meditative about manually cutting out Tenniel engravings from Alice – the Jabberwock was insane. But it was worth it for this Tron-inflected illustration using a distorted Cartesian grid to display the enormous difference between e/acc and AI doomers, and everyone else in the world.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/27/10-types-of-people/#taking-up-a-lot-of-space

Multilayer source images for your remixing pleasure:

Scientist in chemlabhttps://craphound.com/images/scientist-in-chem-lab.psd

Humpty Dumpty and the millionaires https://craphound.com/images/humpty-dumpty-and-the-millionaires.psd

Demon summoning https://craphound.com/images/demon-summoning.psd

Killer Robot and People in Bell Jars https://craphound.com/images/killer-robot-and-bell-jars.psd

TWA mansplainer https://craphound.com/images/twa-mansplainer.psd

Impatient boss https://craphound.com/images/impatient-boss.psd

Destroy This Mad Brute https://craphound.com/images/destroy-this-mad-brute.psd

(Images: Heinz Bunse, West Midlands Police, Christopher Sessums, CC BY-SA 2.0; Mike Mozart, Jesse Wagstaff, Stephen Drake, Steve Jurvetson, syvwlch, Doc Searls, https://www.flickr.com/photos/mosaic36/14231376315, Chatham House, CC BY 2.0; Cryteria, CC BY 3.0; Mr. Kjetil Ree, Trevor Parscal, Rama, “Soldiers of Russia” Cultural Center, Russian Airborne Troops Press Service, CC BY-SA 3.0; Raimond Spekking, CC BY 4.0; Drahtlos, CC BY-SA 4.0; Eugen Rochko, Affero; modified)

[rainewintersnow]

@eyesteeth is once again responsible for sparking the fire of my nonsense

[ID: A Silt Verses comic. Mason is shown at a pulpit, dramatically reading off a book that contains pngs of crabs and shrimp emojis, captioned *preaches in Mason*. Faulkner sits in a pew amongst indistinct people, grimacing. Above him is a Discord message that says "faulkner sitting through a very long sermon: [internal] my beloved trawler-man please shrimp this clown. he's not going to let us have communion at this rate."

The last panel is a meme redraw of Faulkner shown in multiple poses of despair, with "Communion" written in caps at the top over a picture of a bowl of Goldfish snacks. End ID]

(Added the ID by @princess-of-purple-prose)

[officialgleamstar]

For the fic ask game, how about 🤡 ? (Should be the clown emoji)

SORRY I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS

fic asks wahoo

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

i have many many many examples for this but the texts at start of chapter two for divorced dad rock mix (rated E fic but nothing explicit has actually been posted yet so its more like rated T for this chapter) comes to mind first

but also this twins interaction in so where do we begin? (rated T) is very good. actually any time i write the twins as kids, ever, makes me laugh. theyre my little guys (ignore my awful ao3 skin)

[chanstopher]

he is literally so easy to tell that it's him, the curls? the dimples? the way his eyes turn into crescent moons when he smiles? dude? like the whole clown emoji too? come on now, at this rate take the clown emoji back anon cause it seems as if you rode that pony a little too fast with that. 😂😂

its not even at a weird angle its literally his face his whole face sifgjnkmgfz

[cherryfolder]

cherry 🍒 profile

Basics

Birth Name — Lee Chaeri (이채리) Stage Name — Cherry Date of Birth — August 21st, 2006 Height — 163 cm (5'4") Blood Type — A Birthplace — Busan, South Korea Education — Hanlim Multi Arts School Languages — Korean, English, Japanese Nationality — Korean-Japanese MBTI — ISTP

Career

Agency — KQ Entertainment Years Trained — 4 years Debut Date — April 2nd, 2024 Official Emoji — 🍒 Official Color — Cherry Red (#D2042D)

Socials

Fanclub Name — Berry Instagram — @/jagichaeri Twitter — @/cherrykq YouTube — Cherry Lee Official Website — www.cherry.kqent.com

Skills Ratings (out of 10)

Singing — 9 Rapping — 7 Dancing — 10 Stage Presence — 9 Entertainment — 8 Producing — 8 Modelling — 10 Acting — 7

Claims

common — lee ahin ex momoland singing — chaein purple kiss rapping — soyeon gidle dancing — chaeyeon soloist speaking — lee ahin ex momoland

Fun Facts

Cherry is known for her flexibility and has a black belt in Taekwondo.

Cherry is younger sister of Woozi of SEVENTEEN. She was adopted by Woozi's family.

When Cherry was a kid, she entered a child model contest and got cast. At the time, her family refused, but 5 years later, in 2020, she secretly entered a Honey Entertainment open audition and passed.

Cherry left leg is weak due to her being in a car accident when she was still in her childhood days.

Cherry isn't good at sports and physical activities.

Cherry is scared of big mascots and clowns.

Cherry is a huge fan of TWICE and Sabrina Carpenter.

Cherry is a voice actor and had voice over several movies and tv shows in different languages.

Cherry's ideal type is someone who is witty and loyal. She also prefers sexy over cute.

[crypticscarecrow]

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD???? HELL YEAH AEUGH,, RAGOTHA IS DROPDEAD GORGEOUS OHHHH,,, [INSERT BOOHOO EMOJI]

And the SMOKING WIWI??? SGSUJD HELP THAT FRFR BE MEEE- I also just not realized that TADP!Jax really does have a clown type at this rate.... oh my god...

And then you got the gal gangle in there in ALL HER SPOOKY SELF YOU GO GIRL!! BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!!! The mask combination is so cool for them like that<333 ;;; you did AWESOME!!

And you even got albino pinetree in there!! :D thats so nice!! Thank you for all the doodles, they are all so wonderful!! 🙏❤️‍🔥 I'm glad this silly little au makes you so happy!! 🥹

Some TADP doodles bc this is one of if not the only AU that still brings me joy lolz

AU by @crypticscarecrow featuring @an-albino-pinetree

[wordofgodcast]

Episode 69: 7.13 "The Slice Girls" and 7.14 "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie"

Previous | First | New episodes go up on Wednesdays

This week’s episode is available on Podbean HERE!

Check out our listen page or go to our pinned post to find a list of platforms you can listen on – don’t forget to follow, rate, and review if you can!

Sources for references made this episode:

"get this man a baby" meme by Ash

Giant Pacific Octopus info: article and size infographic

Ash's notes emoji doodle

Content warnings for this episode can be found here, under the cut, and at the start of the episode:

Dismemberment

Cannibalism

Brief birth scene

Mention of radical feminism

Adultery

Mention of genital mutilation

Eugenics

Bioessentialism (show-typical)

Suicidal ideation

Clowns

Childhood trauma

Shark attacks

Gruesome yet whimsical death

Drugs

Death of children (off screen)

Implied parental neglect

Drowning

Mention of an anti-romani slur

[iamseagoat]

Rating Clown Emojis

Apple: Right off the bat this man gets a 2/10. I HATE him. He is not cute. He looks dirty with his off-white greenish yellow skin. I can't figure out why his eyes are so wide or why he has white makeup around his eyes AND in between the blue. Very strange. And his hair is SO short :( which defeats the point of clown hair...

Samsung: VERY similar to Apple's which is a shitty choice of design to copy in this case. Sorry not sorry. He is slightly better though in that his eyes are round and make sense, the white clearly looks like sclera and the blue is the only makeup around them. His skin isn't dirty either, he actually has a nice rosy blush all around. So, although they copied a bad design, they did make him palatable. This man gets a 6/10 for being a normal clown who needs to grow his hair out.

Twitter/Discord: Another instance of a plain design but given as this is their style it is passable as an offense. His hair is blue and is the first of the bunch to not have red, so he gets style points for that. His cheeks and smile are cute. He looks very polite. There is just not much else going on for him unfortunately. Was a 6 until my friend pointed out he's asymmetrical and now I can't unsee it. It's not hard to make a flat design symmetrical! FUCK! 4/10. Fuck you twitter.

Google: Cutie! Clean design and nice makeup! Only white and red aside from his striking black eyes and toothless mouth which makes for a striking image. The new version is softer and more huggable than the old one. Honestly want to give him a kiss on his little head. Good boy, 10/10. As for the old/android version: also good but for different reasons! A little rougher around the edges, this clown has lost an eye. But he's still here to make you smile!!! A bit creepier than his little brother, but that just makes him look nervous to me. 7/10.

Facebook: Overall, looks like Chuckles the clown from Toy Story 3 but actually happy. Old version was originally preferred for its flatter image. It made the makeup more appealing and interesting in shape. New version is similar but more high quality. Almost too shaded in some areas. No real need for him to have the red lipstick around his mouth at this point bc it's so thin. New version is probably a 7/10. Still a good boy but not preferable to the cuteness and shapes of the original which I'd give a 9/10.

Microsoft: Microsoft makes some freaky looking clowns! These are just not cute boys. More like the clowns you'd see in a horror movie before they go through the traumatic event that leads them to start their murder spree. Much like Apple's and Samsung's, the hair on both of them is SO short!! What's the point of cute red clown curls if they're barely seen? New version gets a 4/10 for very lazy design. Pink lips are a strange addition and they gave him literal evil eyes. Old version gets a 5/10. Slightly better than the new one but really nothing outstanding. Just a guy. I do like his eyebrows - only one or two other emojis use eyebrows on their clowns and it makes him more expressive.

LG: Looks almost like a mix between the two Google clowns. The long-lost brother perhaps? There really isn't too much to say about him. Looks nice, if not a little awkward bc of his tiny eyes and big goofy grin. 7/10.

HTC: No idea what HTC is but I don't care. This boy is interesting and unique! Blue star makeup around his eyes, a big ol' nose and a clear definition between his makeup and skin. Nicely done. I wish they had done something more interesting with his cap- maybe even just changing the color to blue to match his eyes. Or changed the hair to blue instead. Something to break up the monotony at the top of the design. 8/10 though, he's a fun boy who knows how to entertain for sure.

Skype: This palette is very strange...why did you put an Instagram filter on my boy? His eyebrows almost blend into his skin but are just off enough to be unsettling. Like. Clearly, he dyed them that way on purpose, but why? Nothing too special otherwise. Looks almost identical to the others we have seen with red hair except he has no eye or cheek makeup whatsoever. His nose is very shiny though. 6/10.

JoyPixels: NO CLUE WHAT JOYPIXELS IS BUT THIS MAN HAS GOOD MAKEUP SKILLS!!! The points on his eyes!! The rosy cheeks! The white inside the red of his lipstick is a unique choice too! And another for the blue haired boys!! Overall, this man has his techniques and WILL beat everyone else at the skill competition. 9/10 only bc I am still not a fan of the off-white skin color.

OpenMoji: This man scares me actually. And more so than the clowns that are actually supposed to be creepy like Pennywise. This guy just fucking STARES at you. He has no soul. And the dark, thick outlines around everything make it all worse. Why aren't they around his nose and eyes????? I just don't get it. Don't think I want to. 0/10. Please get him out of my sight.

Emojidex: A FUN GUY!!!! I will invite him to every party. The dark outlines work better here bc it is only around his head and hair. Only the second clown here to have defined teeth too, except his is a fully closed grin. And he has some very pearly whites! A little heavy on the eye makeup, covering the black strikes with a yellow star and blue circle but not too annoying that it takes over the good things about him. He gets an 8/10!

Emojipedia: Last one! And unfortunately, it's not ending on a good note. This could have gone so well? Like I see where they wanted to go...but they took all the bad things from Apple's design and mixed it with the blue haired gang to make this moldy purple monstrosity. His face would be perfectly fine if they hadn't made his mouth and eyes HOLLOW. Like. Thats NOT a living clown. Thats a husk. He is actually soulless and decaying. What did you DO to him?!?!?! 1/10 only bc I'm afraid whatever currently inhabits his body will come find me if I give him a 0.

[woebegonesharks]

a bit of clown analysis. clownalysis, if you will.

[f1-tennisgirlie]

aaahhhh your prompts..... I may have written something again <3

Rivals, Reply Guys, and a Marriage Certificate

Jannik Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz were living a double life. By day, they were IT professionals. But by night—oh, by night—they were absolute menaces to the internet.

For years, they had been running rival fan/update accounts. Jannik, ever the meticulous strategist, managed an account dedicated to Federer and Ferrari, posting in-depth analysis, stats, and the occasional passive-aggressive dig at rivals. Carlos, on the other hand, was pure chaos. His Nadal and Real Madrid account was a perfect blend of memes, delusion, and reckless optimism.

They had an ongoing, very public Twitter beef. Their followers LIVED for it. One moment, Jannik would be posting a ruthless takedown of a match strategy, and Carlos would quote-tweet him with nothing but a clown emoji. The next, Carlos would be hyping up an unhinged conspiracy theory about how Madrid’s success was inevitable, and Jannik would reply with: “you singlehandedly bring your country’s literacy rate down to single digits.”

The thing was—the flirting was just as aggressive.

Jannik: “Hard to believe someone with your takes is allowed to vote.”

Carlos: “Worry about your own democracy, baby 😘.”

Jannik: “??????”

Carlos: “Idk just felt right.”

And the internet was obsessed. Were they enemies? Friends? Enemies with tension? Secret lovers? The theories were endless, and neither of them denied or confirmed anything.

Until one day, a follower posted: “Okay, but imagine if these two were actually dating irl. That would be insane.”

And instead of denying it, they both went completely silent.

For hours. No posts. No replies.

The internet was spiraling. People were checking timestamps, analyzing interactions, theorizing wildly. And then, as casually as one might drop a match score update, Jannik posted a vacation photo. A beautiful beach. A cocktail in his hand. And in the background, unmistakably, Carlos Alcaraz.

The internet imploded.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????”

“NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY.”

“I HAVE BEEN CLOWNED FOR YEARS.”

The meltdown was immediate, but what made it worse—so much worse—was that people started digging up old tweets. Every shameless flirtation. Every ridiculously domestic argument. Every instance of them saying things like, “you drive me crazy” or “god you’re insufferable but i’d still let you win an argument just once.”

Their followers lost it. Someone made a thread titled "Signs we should have SEEN this coming", complete with screenshots, timestamps, and receipts. The reactions were brutal.

And Jannik and Carlos? Thriving.

Carlos posted a photo of their drinks clinking together with the caption, "cheers to the best-kept secret on the internet 🍸." Jannik, ever the troll, replied to a panicked tweet with "anyway, the sunset here is nice."

Their friends were absolutely feral. Daniil Medvedev quote-tweeted their reveal with: "I have suffered in silence for too long. They do this in the group chat too." Charles Leclerc simply replied, "finally."

But nothing—nothing—was as dramatic as Lorenzo Musetti.

Lorenzo went full theatrical. First, he posted a black-and-white selfie captioned: “some betrayals cut deeper than others.” Then, he dropped a full Notes app statement:

“I have always been a believer in love, but never did I think I would witness such deception firsthand. To those who knew and said nothing... I hope you sleep well at night. I, however, will not.”

Jannik and Carlos, still sipping their cocktails, simply replied: “bro we invited you to the wedding.”

And that’s when the internet collapsed for real.

MARRIED?

MARRIED.

“You’re telling me I’ve spent YEARS watching them fight online while they were literally MARRIED????”

Absolute carnage. Meltdown of the century.

Meanwhile, Jannik and Carlos? Still vibing.

Carlos: “anyway, honeymoon phase still going strong 😌.” Jannik: “not when you tweet like that.”

Chaos. Absolute chaos. And they were loving every second of it.

sincaraz au where they both run fan/update accounts for rival players/teams (big4? f1? football? etc.) and have beef but also flirt like crazy on the tl and subject all their followers to watching whatever the hell is going on between them and then bam they fall in love and somehow people find out they're dating/married/fucking/etc.

OR they're already dating/married/fucking/etc. but they have beef and flirt on the tl for fun

[thesinglesock]

Vigilantes remembering Ms. Joke existence for literally just 1 panel is such wasted potential... they have the opportunity to make her a recurring character and they just... don't?? dumb :o(

[67616c]

clown emoji ranking 🤡

no bullshit. lets go

contrary to popular opinion i like the apple clown emoji. frightening but good 8/10

not gonna lie.. love this guy! the google emojis are so cute. love the red and black. but where are his teeth? 9/10

okay i guess 7/10

.....ummmm -10/10

blue hair! i like that he doesn’t have the weird flesh tint. 10/10!

mm.. as someone who is extremely dedicated to twemoji i can say that this is not their best. 6/10

a little offputting but he has a little hat!! and his hair is so cute! 9/10

cute... but the eyes are mildly frightening... 7/10

this is the incest cousin of the clown emojis. 2/10

just as bad as samsung. -10/10

small! love him 9/10

all of them are good except for s*msung and em*jidex. pay your clowns!

[haghottie420]

Blazed (Smoking Weed is Gay) (16830 words) by GreendaleHumanBeing Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), Deadpool (Movieverse) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Past Gwen Stacy/Mary Jane Watson Characters: Wade Wilson, Peter Parker, Johnny Storm, Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane Watson, Weasel, Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Aunt May, May Parker (Spider-Man) Additional Tags: Bisexual Peter Parker, Stoner Peter Parker, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, So much oui'd y'all, John Waters references, Wade Loves John Waters, Burnt Out Peter Parker, Peter is like 26, ACAB, Twilight References, Banter, God so much banter, Kissing, Texting, Gratuitous Emojis, Bisexual Gwen, Nosy MJ, Capitalism sucks, Shitty Day Job, Sister Margret's is Hellhouse, Merc Bar, Weasel is perpetually stoned, Can you imagine how many weed strains are probably named after avengers here omg, Johnny Storm is a good dude, Bisexual MJ, Gwen Stacy Lives, Brunch, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, leftist peter parker, I'd give it all for MJ and Gwen, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Is A Dick, Sexting, Finally some horny stuff, some angst too, Angst, Peter Sulks, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Stoner Aunt May, She's finally here, Peter Parker Loves Wade Wilson, Insecure Wade Wilson, More weed smoking, Gwen's GF reveal, John Waters, twilight - Freeform Summary:

Peter is burnt out. Wade has been watching a lot of cult classics. Everyone tells them they're in love. Five times these fucking nerds smoke weed together.

Peter’s high is fading into a disgruntled sleepiness. Does Johnny not understand simple math? Peter is a washed-up hero disenchanted by even being a hero by night. He hustles to make it up to communities affected by his past reckless hero-ing. And the rest of the time he’s a washed-up grad student turned line-cook. Smoking weed at the end of long days wondering how long he can keep up. Why would anyone waste their time with him romantically? Even Peter doesn’t like wasting time with himself.

Johnny actually has the gall to turn around and glare at Peter before turning back to his phone.

flame emoji smoke emoji clown emoji (12:53 AM): you need to work on that ‘self loathing’ shit flame emoji smoke emoji clown emoji (12:53 AM): tht motherfucker is head over dick 4 u

(Since I've written this fic about two years ago, it's gotten a lot of traction lately! So much so that I'm working on aa sequel rn :) I just wanted to share this news w. the COMMUNITY as a whole <3)

[littlemissidontcare]

Sigh. All I can say is, Seb will move on whether he marries the cardboard or not. Idk why, and as unfortunate as it may sound to some, if he does get married one day I feel like it’ll end in separation or divorce anyway. At this rate I just think it’ll take a miracle for him to stick to one partner for more than a year. And when he does move on to ale 3.0, there will be more trolls like smiley face and clown emoji anon to rain on everyone’s parade. Some people just like kissing their fave’s ass and picking fights with anyone who threatens their own fantasy and it shows.

Yup