#clothes shopping
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Ah yes, the battle of the bulge.
Webtoon | Insta
Check out the Patreon!
#tiff and eve#comic strip#webcomic#newspaper comics#transgender#trans comic#original art#my art#art#illustration#trans character#trans problems#trans artist#clothes shopping#husband chair#trans girl
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
#polls#incognito polls#anonymous#tumblr polls#tumblr users#questions#polls about clothes#submitted dec 3#shopping#clothes#clothes shopping
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thrifting
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Grant doing some important research during his 30 minute screen time access!
#inner child healing#age regression#stuffed animals#boyre#agere#plushies#toy photography#posic#jellycat puffles puppy#Grant#depop#imagination play#play pretend#clothes shopping#online shopping#mine
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went clothes shopping yesterday and got like a buncha fem clothes from charity shop an d stuff :))) so yayyayy euphoria 🤗
#idk how to tag this#funny#idk#lol#lgbtqia#trans#transfem#transgender#yayyayay#so happy#woohooo#<33#clothes#clothes shopping
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Some good fashion advice in this thread - how to know if a garment will look good in real life, vs looking good on that particular model in that particular pose -






Transcription in the alt text.
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For those of you who aren't in America: H&M is a chain of clothes stores here. This story is just a little idea I often have when I see it.
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Day off on tour vintage shopping in Oxford, me and the boys look boss at the end x 🐢🧥
🐢.
#2024-01-31#miles kane#miles kane tiktok#omb era#omb tour#day off#fashion#clothes shopping#oxford#vintage
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Star jacket
Back on the gride BBG!!! Rahu! Damn eepy at 12? That's new for me in the span of a good month YAWNN,, one more artpeixe then bedtime
Don't repost, reblogs encouraged
@anon-coke @borisboring @borisboring @thelunarsystemwrites @the-second-reason
#utmv sans#sans undertale#my art#utau#art#sans au#sans oc#sans persona#undertale art#undertale au#clothes shopping#clothes stolen#clothing#accessories#hats#accessory#utmv#utmv fanart#utmv oc#utmv au#sans au art#sans au oc#sans au fanart#undertaleau#au sans#ut au#au undertale#undertale fandom
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Freak.




#clothes shopping#garou#one punch man#opm#one punch man garou#garou fanart#metal bat#metal bat opm#metal bat fanart#opm fanart#one punch man fanart
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
#polls#incognito polls#anonymous#tumblr polls#tumblr users#questions#clothes#clothing#shopping#clothes shopping#wardrobe#polls about clothes#submitted oct 27
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Talking about shopping for clothes as a fat person.
I'm trying to find some skirts for the warmer weather coming up and decided to check out Old Navy since I'd gotten a nice one from there before, but sized out of it recently.
There are no more fat people/models on the site, even when I look up "plus size." I'm actually pretty disgusted by this. I'm surprised to have such a visceral reaction.
I just want clothes that will fit me and not cost me a crazy amount of money.
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Saturday Sinsmas Shopping
((Yep, here's another "Sapphire missed a holiday or birthday in the Hellaverse" fic. But I've been out of work for a month and have a bunch of interviews later this week so I was able to finish this earlier than expected. Enjoy anyway!))
Charlie and Vaggie always felt the most intimate when they were running errands together. While they had lots of fun dates together, whenever they went to the store to get something, they were able to find more fun than they would have thought of before. They especially felt that warmth when they went Sinsmas shopping together. While Sinsmas has been small at the hotel, with just them and Angel Dust, Charlie still wanted it to be just as special as it was when they all were children.
The girls made their way inside the Pride Ring Mall, which was as busy as they expected it to be. All the shops were filled with hellmates doing their last-minute Sinsmas shopping that Charlie and Vaggie felt like they were going to get lost in one of the stores.
“Where should we go first?” Vaggie asked.
“We can get started at Hot Topic, there’s lots of great stuff there and I’m sure we can find something that Angel would love,” Charlie replied as she and her girlfriend made their way out of the crowded food court and up the escalator.
Once they got inside the Hot Topic, Charlie and Vaggie looked around to see if they could find anything for Angel. The store was small enough that they could separate for a while and find something for each other too.
As Charlie looked on one side of the store, she found a little chain necklace in the jewelry section with a charm on it that was shaped like a heart. She looked on the other side of the store to make sure that Vaggie was not looking at her. She was still in the other corner, looking away from Charlie to find something she wanted to buy for her. She took that chance to go to the counter to pay for the necklace.
“Did you find everything okay?” the girl at the counter asked.
“I’m still looking for a few things. This is for my girlfriend; she’s over there. We’re also trying to find something for our friend for Sinsmas.”
Charlie tapped her debit card as the girl at the counter put the necklace in a little bag for her. While she was still at the counter, Vaggie was on the other side of the store looking for a gift for Charlie. She was having a difficult time finding something for Charlie until she found a big, pastel-colored unicorn Squishmallow that was perfect for Charlie! She already has the biggest stuffed animal collection in the hotel, why not add one more?
Vaggie noticed Charlie coming nearby and tried to hide the Squishmallow as best as she could. She made her way to the line to pay before Charlie came up to her.
“Hi, Vaggie! I just found something for you that I want to keep as a surprise, and I was wondering if you’re ready to find something for Angel.”
“Sure! I mean, I found something for you too, but I want to wait to give it to you on Sinsmas too. You can start finding something and I’ll meet you.”
“Okay! I’m going to check over there. It looks like there’s a lot of things that Angel will love.”
“Okay, mi vida, I’ll see you there.”
Once Vaggie made her way to the counter, she took out her debit card to pay and the girl at the counter put the Squishmallow in a bag that was big enough for her to hide it from Charlie.
“Is this for your girlfriend too?” the girl asked.
“Yes, I guess she told you I was her girlfriend? She loves stuffed animals so I figured this would make a great Sinsmas gift. Thank you,” Vaggie said before making her way back to Charlie.
“Vaggie! Look at this! I think Angel would love this!” Charlie exclaimed as she reached for a pig Squishmallow near where Vaggie already was before. “I know I love bragging about how many more stuffed animals I have than him, but I think Angel would appreciate that I’m contributing to his collection for Sinsmas.”
“Sure! Plus, it can double as a pillow for Fat Nuggets, so it’s a win-win!”
Charlie and Vaggie took the Squishmallow off the shelf and went back in line to pay for it. Once they were finished, they made their way out of the store, but Charlie stopped Vaggie before they could go to the next store.
“Hey, Vaggie, do you think that when the hotel gets big enough, we could get a deal with Hot Topic one day?”
“Maybe; it’s still a bit early to tell, but we’ll see.”
As Charlie and Vaggie walked throughout the mall, found a Sephora, and went inside. Angel would appreciate more makeup. They both looked around the store to see all the makeup they could buy for Angel. It was not until Charlie found an eyeshadow palette with many different shades of pink. Vaggie found a pack of eyeliners that were all different colors.
“I know that Angel has a lot of eyeshadow already, but I don’t think I ever saw him wearing anything from this palette before. It’s perfect for him!” Charlie explained as she showed Vaggie the palette.
“I also think Angel would love this pack of eyeliner. I’ve seen him with the black winged eyeliner all the time, but I think adding different colors would make his eyes pop more. What do you think?”
“I think so too. Let’s get them!”
Charlie and Vaggie made their way to the front counter to pay for the makeup. The line was somewhat longer than it was when they were at Hot Topic, but they figured they could find other ways to pass the time.
“I think Angel’s going to have the best Sinsmas ever this year! I know he hasn’t gotten a real Sinsmas since he was alive with his family, so I hope that he will remember this Sinsmas forever!” Charlie explained as the line continued moving.
“I know that he will because I’m already having the best Sinsmas ever, because I’m spending it with you,” Vaggie mentioned as she kissed Charlie on the lips.
“I’ve have some pretty great Sinsmas season with mom and dad when I was a child, but I haven’t had a real Sinsmas in a while, and the last Sinsmas I had with you was amazing, but I think this year will be better because I’m going to spend it with both you and Angel.”
Before they knew it, they were next in line. Before either of them could take their debit cards out, Charlie put the makeup on the counter to ask the woman at the counter a question.
“I was wondering, have you tried this palette and eyeliner before?”
“I have, and they are amazing. I’m sure you’re going to love using them!”
“Thank you, but they’re not for either of us. They’re for our friend as a Sinsmas present. He loves makeup and these shades in particular.”
“He?”
“Yeah, our friend, Angel Dust, is super into this kind of stuff.”
“Wait, Angel Dust? The porn star? You’re friends with him? In that case, I’m giving you half off!”
Charlie took out her debit card, as she offered to pay for this portion of the gifts.
“If you want, you can pay for the next store we go to, Vaggie. I’ll do this one.”
Vaggie smiled and hugged her girlfriend as she tapped her card onto the card reader. The woman at the counter put their makeup in a bag for them and Charlie grabbed the bag. They made their way out of Sephora and through the corridors of the mall.
“So, I was thinking we can go to Macy’s, and then Urban Outfitters, and that should be everywhere we need to go,” Charlie mentioned as she and Vaggie continued walking.
“Sure thing, Charlie, just, would it be okay if we stopped for a break before we go to Urban Outfitters? It’s just that we’ve been walking a lot and I’m starting to get a little bit tired,” Vaggie replied.
“Sure! Are you sure you don’t want a break now? I know you mentioned you were tired and I don’t want to tire you out more.”
“I should be good for a little bit. I can see the Macy’s over there and the Urban Outfitters over there. The food court is a good middle ground between the two.”
Vaggie agreed and the girls made their way to the Macy’s on one side of the mall. Once they got to the Macy’s, Charlie and Vaggie decided to split up and meet back at the front of the store once they were finished. They decided they were going to find one present each for Angel, and one for each other.
Charlie made her way on one side of the store to the shoe section. She remembered that Vaggie mentioned to her that she needed a new pair of boots for the cold winter months, because all the shoes she already had put her feet on the verge of frostbite every time she went outside in the winter. Charlie could also find a new pair of boots for Angel. She knew that Angel could never have enough pairs of boots.
Charlie was able to get to the boots part of the shoe section faster than she imagined. While it was still the most crowded in Macy's than any of the other stores she and Vaggie were in, the shoe section was not as crowded as any of the other sections of the store.
She looked around the section to see if she could find a pair of winter boots for Vaggie, skimming through all the boots to see if there was anything that was both insulated and in her shoe size. Vaggie was a size six and a half, which was pretty small for adults in Hell, but Charlie should be able to find something in her size.
At last, she found a pair of winter boots that were both Vaggie’s size, and said on the box that the boots were insulated. She still wanted to keep the receipt in the box after she paid for it, just in case they ended up running too big or too small. Now that she found Vaggie’s boots, it was time to find Angel’s.
Right next to the winter boots, Charlie was able to find a pair of shiny leather pink boots with jewels on the rim of them. If there was anything in the entire mall that screamed “Angel Dust,” that was it. Charlie grabbed the box of boots in Angel’s shoe size and made her way to the checkout counter.
Meanwhile, as Charlie was in the shoe section, Vaggie spent her time near the sweaters to find something cute for Charlie. There were so many cute sweaters that Vaggie could not decide which one she would want to buy for Charlie. But then, she found something that immediately caught her eye; a red sweater crop top with a little opening in the chest area that was shaped like a heart. It was perfect for Charlie!
Vaggie skimmed through the sweaters to find one in Charlie’s size. Once she found one, Vaggie smiled and made her way closer to the athletic wear section to find her next gift for Angel. She already knew what she wanted to give him once they stepped foot into the mall and in Macy’s.
She looked around the section to see if she was able to find what she wanted to buy, and there it was; a hot pink Juicy Couture tracksuit. Angel has expressed to Charlie and Vaggie how much he wanted a Juicy Couture tracksuit ever since Vaggie showed him a picture of her when she was in college wearing one. As much as she hated that picture, Angel absolutely loved it and was obsessed with the tracksuit and talked about how much he wished they were around when he was alive.
Vaggie skimmed through the track suits to find one in Angel’s size, and grabbed the first one she could find. The fact that she was able to find the track suit in the first place was enough to bring her so much joy that she could not wait to tell Charlie what she found. She made her way back to the checkout counter to pay for her gifts and meet Charlie back at the front of the store once she was done.
After Vaggie paid for her gifts, she saw Charlie at the front of the store and gave her a hug and a kiss on the lips. Charlie wrapped her arms around Vaggie before giving her a kiss on the forehead.
“There’s this bubble tea place in the food court that I go to all the time that I would love for you to try. Maybe we can take a break there? I also can’t wait to show you what I got for Angel!” Charlie mentioned as she and Vaggie made their way to the food court.
“That sounds great! I would love to try this bubble tea place,” Vaggie replied.
Charlie and Vaggie made it to the bubble tea place at the food court and placed their orders once they waited in the line that was equally as long as every other line they were in at every other store. Once they got their tea, Charlie and Vaggie found an empty table that was small enough for just the two of them and put their bags next to their chairs to sit down.
“So, what did you end up getting Angel at Macy’s?” Vaggie asked as she took a sip of her bubble tea.
“Well, I ended up finding this cute pair of boots for Angel that I think he would absolutely love!” Charlie replied as she grabbed her Macy’s bag.
She took the boots out to show Vaggie and gave them to her. Vaggie looked at the jewels that adorned the boots and opened her mouth in astonishment. She could not believe that Charlie was able to find those boots after she mentioned how difficult it was to find them!
“How were you able to find these?”
“I just ended up finding them in the shoe section of the store while I was trying to find something for Angel. They were one of the first things I found and needed to get them.”
“Well, I’m happy you were able to find them.”
Vaggie gave Charlie the boots back and she put them back in her bag. As Charlie took a sip of her bubble tea, Vaggie took out the Juicy Couture tracksuit that she found when she was trying to find a gift for Angel.
“I found this and remembered when I showed Angel that picture of me in this same tracksuit and how much he loved it. I knew I had to get this for him the second I saw this,” Vaggie explained as Charlie sipped her bubble tea as she listened.
Charlie flapped her hands, kicked her feet under the table, and squealed as Vaggie put the tracksuit back in her bag. “I remember that! I was thinking about buying that for him, but I was already at the shoe section and I saw you walking towards that area so I figured you would buy that for him.”
Charlie and Vaggie continued talking more about the gift ideas they would want for Angel when they go to Urban Outfitters and find the last gift for him. There were lots of great gift ideas there that would be perfect for him, it was just that hopefully, they would be able to find those gifts they had in mind.
After about twenty minutes of talking and sipping on their bubble tea, Charlie and Vaggie decided to make their way to the Urban Outfitters as one final stop before going home. They kept their bubble teas with them since both of them were only halfway finished with them. Once they got to the Urban Outfitters, they looked around to find their last gift for Angel. It took them quite a while to find something until their eyes landed on the same thing; a little ceramic storage box that was shaped like a small pink cottage.
“Vaggie! This is so cute! Angel will love this!” Charlie exclaimed as she jumped up and down for joy.
“The windows are even shaped like hearts! This would be the perfect storage for some of this makeup!” Vaggie added.
“I know that it would be too small to hold all of his makeup, but it would still look amazing on his vanity and he would love it to store the smaller pieces of makeup that he has.”
“So we’re getting it?”
“Of course! Let’s go pay for it!”
Charlie and Vaggie made their way to check out to see that the line was longer than any of the lines they previously were in. It ended up wrapping around a good chunk of the outline of the store. It looks like they were going to be there for quite a while. Vaggie put the box in one of her bags, surrounding the softer things she bought, because she knew that if they held it with all the other bags in their hands, one of them was going to drop and break it.
“I just hope that KeeKee doesn’t manage to get a hold of that box, because I know she’s going to break it,” Charlie mentioned.
“Don’t worry, mi amor; I’ll put it on top of the closet and bury it so KeeKee won’t be able to find it,” Vaggie replied.
“You know she’s a climber; she will climb on everything no matter how high it is. We need to find a place for it where KeeKee hardly ever goes, and she climbs in almost every area of the hotel.”
“Well, I’ll lock it in the guest room across from ours, and I’ll keep the key with me, and we’ll get it back on Sinsmas Eve right when KeeKee and Angel’s asleep. How does that sound?”
“That sounds good; I’ll try and remind you once I put KeeKee to bed on Sinsmas Eve.”
Charlie and Vaggie continued talking about where they should hide their gifts before it was time to wrap them and put them under their Sinsmas tree as the line kept on moving. It was not long until they got to the front of the line and it was time to pay. Vaggie took the box out of her bag and gently put it on the counter.
“Well, this is adorable! Is this for someone special this Sinsmas?” the guy at the counter asked the girls.
“It is, well, it’s for a friend of ours. We got him all these cute clothes, makeup, and plushies, and we figured it made sense to buy him something to store his smaller makeup in,” Charlie explained.
“I’m sure he will love this.”
“Well, it’s not just for any friend. It’s for Angel Dust; we’re friends with him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Well, in that case, I’m giving you half off!”
Vaggie took her debit card out, as she remembered she promised to pay for the next gift they were buying for Angel together. The guy at the counter wrapped the box in as many layers of tissue paper as he could before he put it in a bag for them.
“Just be careful handling it so Angel could enjoy the gift this Sinsmas.”
“We will, thank you,” Charlie mentioned.
Before Charlie and Vaggie made their way out of the store, Charlie stopped Vaggie once she saw the photo booth near the front of the store.
“Vaggie! This will be perfect for the photo collage I’m planning on making for the lobby! I’m going to put it together and hang it Sinsmas morning, and we need more pictures together. What do you say?”
Vaggie was still somewhat insecure about getting her picture taken, especially with her eye gouged out. But if there was anyone she loves taking pictures with more than anyone, it was Charlie. Taking her first picture with Charlie was enough to help Vaggie grow her confidence on camera more, and just let loose. It would mean the world to Charlie to get this moment together in the photo collage she was making.
“Let’s go!” Vaggie said with a smile as she and Charlie put their bags and bubble tea down in front of the photo booth and made their way inside.
Vaggie closed the curtain behind them as they both sat on the bench behind the smiley face background to see the screen. They agreed to do two rounds of photos; one fun and silly, and the other cute and romantic. They also agreed to get four copies of each round of photos, one for each of them to keep in their wallets, one to hang by their bed, and the other for the photo collage in the lobby.
Charlie tapped her debit card for the first round of photos and selected the color option for the photos and to make four copies. Once the countdown started, she hugged Vaggie and smiled as brightly as she could and Vaggie also hugged Charlie back and smiled, squishing their cheeks together.
*Click!*
As the countdown started for the next photo, Charlie stuck her tongue out, still smiling, and crossed her eyes. Vaggie also stuck her tongue out, but with her mouth closed, crossing her one eye.
*Click!*
The countdown started for the next photo, and Charlie grabbed a strand of Vaggie’s hair and put it between her nose and her upper lip to act as a moustache, making a kissy face to hold it in place. Vaggie grabbed a strand of Charlie’s hair and did the same thing.
*Click!*
For the last photo in the first round, Charlie smiled again and moved closer to Vaggie. She put her index and middle finger up behind Vaggie’s head to make a pair of bunny ears behind her. Vaggie giggled and leaned toward Charlie and followed suit, putting her index and middle finger up behind Charlie’s head.
*Click!*
As the photos printed, Vaggie reached into her purse to find her debit card to pay for the second round, but Charlie insisted that she treated her for this. These were all such special moments for Charlie that she had to treat her. Charlie tapped her debit card and chose the same options as the last round, and sat back down next to her girlfriend.
As the countdown started. Charlie grabbed Vaggie by her chin and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Vaggie blushed and smiled awkwardly at the camera as her arm was wrapped around Charlie’s shoulder.
*Click!*
Vaggie looked at Charlie and gave her a kiss on the cheek back for the next photo as she smiled and wrapped her arm around Vaggie’s shoulder.
*Click!*
Charlie looked at Vaggie for the next photo, smirked, and kissed her on the lips. They wrapped their arms around each other’s necks and locked lips with each other.
*Click!*
Charlie and Vaggie’s kiss ended up turning into a full-blown make-out session and they did not realize the last picture was being taken. They continued kissing, pulling each other closer, and grabbing on each other’s hair until the last photo was taken.
*Click!*
Once the second round of photos were being printed, Charlie realized and pulled her lips away from Vaggie’s, both of them blushing and their lipstick smudged on each other’s lips. They looked at each other and bursted into laughter together before coming out of the photobooth. Charlie could not wait to see how the pictures came out!
Charlie looked through the pictures and could not help but smile. They came out amazing! These were the memories that she was going to remember forever with her girlfriend. Vaggie leaned over to look at the pictures and smiled when she saw all the photos.
“I’ll keep two of each round, and you can keep the other two of each. We’ll split them to put in our wallets and on our bedroom wall and the photo collage when we get home,” Charlie mentioned as she and Vaggie grabbed their bags and bubble tea and walked out of the store.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vaggie agreed.
As Charlie and Vaggie made their way out of the mall, they held each other’s hands and carried their shopping bags in the other on each side. While most may not see Sinsmas shopping together as the most fun thing ever, Charlie and Vaggie would remember this day forever, knowing that they built such an amazing bonding experience together.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fic#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin hotel fanfiction#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#charlie morningstar#vaggie#chaggie#charlie x vaggie#shopping#sinsmas shopping#christmas shopping#sinsmas#queer couple#lesbian couple#sapphic love#shopping mall#pride ring mall#hot topic#sephora#macy's#urban outfitters#clothes shopping#makeup shopping#bubble tea#photo booth#silly#fun
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Got the cutest skirt today! > < °•🍒~*.
I tried looking everywhere for a nice shirt that could go well, but there was no luck. Either way! I’ve been wanting a denim skirt for who knows how long. I can’t wait to style it up and dress up for funsies~
Today feels so much like a cherry day. Not so sure why, it’s got that kind of vibe. I love cherries :D hehe
#blog#girly aesthetic#dokisarchive#girl blogger#cherry#aesthetic#moodboard#brown moodboard#mini skirt#denim skirt#fashion#style inspiration#just girly things#cutie pie#shopping#clothes shopping
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Clothes Make the Man
For my 10 year anniversary/4k giveaway, for @ionlyrunfromshame, who requested "modern au, established relationship, soft, fluffy", and well...you'll just have to wait and see.
“You’re here early,” Courfeyrac said in lieu of a greeting, standing back to let Enjolras into his apartment.
Enjolras managed a weak smile. “I brought coffee,” he said, handing one of the coffees he was holding to Courfeyrac. “And I have a somewhat time-sensitive favor to ask.”
Courfeyrac arched an eyebrow and gestured for Enjolras to sit down. “Well color me intrigued,” he said lightly, plopping down in the armchair as Enjolras perched on the couch. “So what can I do for you?”
Enjolras hesitated for only a moment before sighing and saying, almost as if he couldn’t believe the words he was about to say, “You know how you’ve always wanted to treat me like a life-size Ken doll and dress me up to suit your whims?”
“Barbie.”
Enjolras blinked. “Pardon?”
“I’ve always wanted to dress you up like a Barbie doll,” Courfeyrac said sweetly. “You’re too pretty to be Ken.” His smile sharpened into a smirk, and he leered at Enjolras as he added, “And besides, I know what you’re packing down there and it sure as shit ain’t plastic.”
Enjolras scowled. “If I could go back in time and undo one thing from my past, do you know what it would be?”
Courfeyrac considered it for a moment. “Getting frosted tips in the year of our lord 2006?” he suggested blithely.
“No, sleeping with you,” Enjolras said through gritted teeth.
Courfeyrac just smirked. “Liar.”
Enjolras flushed slightly. “Well, maybe if I could go back in time and undo two things,” he mumbled.
“Mmhmm,” Courfeyrac hummed, in a particularly self-satisfied way., and he leaned back against the chair to give Enjolras a measured look. “So you want me to dress you up, make it tight, you’re my dolly?”
“Under very narrow parameters only,” Enjolras said. “Specifically, I need your help buying one outfit.”
Courfeyrac’s eyes narrowed, and he took a sip of coffee. “Just one? What’s the occasion?”
Enjolras’s flush darkened. “I have a date.”
Courfeyrac gaped at him. “With a human male?” he managed.
Enjolras’s scowl returned in full force. “As opposed to who, your mom?”
“That’s a bit juvenile for you, don’t you think?” Courfeyrac asked with a snicker.
“Fuck off,” Enjolras said, without any real heat. “Are you going to help me or not?”
“Well when you ask so nicely…”
He trailed off and Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Courf,” he said impatiently. “Answer the question.”
For a moment, it looked like Courfeyrac was actually going to, but then he hesitated. “Only if you answer this first: did you tell Grantaire?”
Enjolras just stared at him, confused. “Why would I tell Grantaire?”
Courfeyrac fiddled with the lid of his coffee cup for a moment before setting it down decisively on the end table and standing. “I’m afraid Courfeyrac’s modiste is closed for business, but I would be happy to refer you elsewhere.”
It took a moment for Enjolras to follow suit, scrambling to stand as he frowned at Courfeyrac, his confusion deepening. “You mean you’re not going to help me?” he asked, a little indignantly.
“Not so much, no,” Courfeyrac said cheerfully.
“Why the fuck not?” Enjolras demanded.
Courfeyrac shrugged. “My reasons are many, and complex, and you should ask Jehan.”
If Enjolras looked confused before, now he looked downright baffled. “For your reasons?”
“No,” Courfeyrac said patiently. “To help you.”
Enjolras’s confusion disappeared, but it was quickly replaced by hesitation. “Don’t you think Jehan’s taste in clothes is a little, uh…”
He trailed off, clearly searching for the nicest way to put whatever he was thinking, but Courfeyrac didn’t wait for him to find it. “Quite the contrary,” he said instead, his grin sharp. “I think he’s just what you need.”
— — — — —
Jehan drummed his fingers against the arm of his chair, staring at Enjolras, who had the good sense to look uncomfortable. Not that Jehan was usually intimidating, but he could pull it off when he wanted to.
And at the moment, he very much wanted to.
“So you want my help,” he said, finally breaking the silence, and Enjolras jerked a nod.
“Yes.”
“Picking out an outfit.”
Again Enjolras nodded. “That is correct.”
It was hardly the most bizarre request Jehan had ever received, but the combination of the request and requester that was giving him pause. He was half-wondering if he was on some kind of Les Amis version of Punk’d. “Why do you need a new outfit?”
Enjolras sighed before telling him reluctantly, “I have a date.”
Now Jehan was certain that he was being Punk’d. “You know, I don’t think you’ve ever asked for my help before,” he said with a note of something like warning, which he figured would at least do the job of letting Enjolras know he was on to him.
But Enjolras just made a face. “I’m not exactly known to be the asking for help type.”
That was a true statement if ever there was one. Still, Jehan couldn’t quite resist. “The words ‘toxic masculinity’ are flashing in my mind right now,” he said sweetly.
Enjolras scowled. “Because I’m definitely known for being a paragon of masculinity.”
Jehan’s smile widened. “And now I’m seeing that Garfield meme, only instead of propaganda, it says, ‘You are not immune to toxic masculinity’.”
“Well, something more to discuss with my therapist, I guess,” Enjolras said, with just a touch of impatience. “But in case you missed what I said earlier, this is somewhat time-sensitive, so if you’re willing to help me, I kind of need an answer sooner rather than later.”
Jehan arched an eyebrow. “Never thought you’d find a date more important than dismantling the patriarchy.”
Enjolras just shrugged, looking almost a little embarrassed. “Honestly, neither did I,” he muttered, in a fond but rueful sort of way.
Something about this whole situation wasn’t quite adding up, and while under normal circumstances, Jehan probably would’ve agreed almost immediately to Enjolras’s request for help, he felt like there was a piece of the puzzle he was missing. He narrowed his eyes. “Why exactly do you want my help?” he asked, and Enjolras just raised both eyebrows before looking pointedly down at himself.
“I feel like this really speaks for itself,” he said, deadpan, but Jehan wasn’t deterred.
“No, I mean, why my help specifically.”
Enjolras flushed. “You’re…fashionable,” he said, the pause between his words speaking volumes.
“Uh-huh,” Jehan said skeptically, and Enjolras’s flush deepened.
“You’re more fashionable than I am,” he said defensively, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Jehan gave him an almost pitying look. “So are most fourth graders.” Enjolras scowled but didn’t refute it, and Jehan decided it was time to rescue him. “So who else did you ask before you asked me?”
Enjolras’s flush had darkened to a somewhat mottled shade of fuschia. “No one,” he mumbled, though he didn’t even wait for Jehan to tell him he didn’t believe him before adding, “Just Bahorel. And Joly. And Courfeyrac.”
Jehan really should’ve guessed as much. “And all of them said no?”
“Bahorel said he’s busy,” Enjolras huffed, clearly put out, “but he oh-so magnanimously offered to pay one thousand dollars to whomever does if they take video. Joly is out of town. And Courfeyrac told me to ask you.”
And there it was – the missing piece of the puzzle. Jehan nodded slowly, knowing that if Courfeyrac had suggested Enjolras ask him, there was a good reason for it. “I see,” he said slowly, cocking his head slightly before asking, “And you didn’t ask Grantaire for his help?”
Enjolras’s scowl came back even darker than before. “Why does everybody keep asking me if I asked Grantaire?” he said, not waiting for an answer before telling Jehan, “No, I didn’t ask him to help me pick out an outfit.”
And there was Courfeyrac’s reason. “So Courfeyrac told you to ask me,” Jehan said, trying and likely failing to tamp down his smile. “Well, I think he made a good call, and I will be more than happy to help you.”
Enjolras blinked, clearly confused by this sudden change of tenor in the conversation. “Really?” he said, somewhat skeptically.
“Of course,” Jehan assured him. “Anything for our fearless leader.”
Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Why do I not believe you?”
“Probably because you’re paranoid,” Jehan said cheerfully. He stood, brushing a non-existent crumb off of his shirt. “Now if memory serves, you said this is time sensitive, so we might as well get going.”
For one moment, it looked like Enjolras might argue, but then he made the wise choice to just shrug before also standing. “Alright. Let’s go.”
— — — — —
Roughly thirty minutes later, he looked very much like he regretted that decision. “Where are you taking me?” he asked, clutching the handle in Jehan’s car with both hands.
Jehan glanced over at him, amused. “You sound like you’re being kidnapped, not driven to a store.”
“At this point I’m beginning to feel like I’m being kidnapped,” Enjolras muttered.
“Who would have thought the man who has stared down the police in full riot gear would be scared of shopping,” Jehan said with a grin.
Enjolras glowered at him. “I’m not scared of it,” he snapped. “I just hate it and avoid it whenever possible. And you’re not answering my question about where you’re taking me, which is not helping me feel better.”
Jehan rolled his eyes. “I’m taking you to the thrift store,” he informed him.
Enjolras stared at him. “To the – why?”
“Because I wanted to get the Macklemore song stuck in your head all day,” Jehan said dryly. “Because I thought you would appreciate a more sustainable approach to shopping.”
For a moment, Enjolras did in fact look mollified, but then his expression shifted. “As long as it’s not run by the Salvation Army or Goodwill—”
“Locally owned and operated, don’t worry,” Jehan interrupted, having already seen this argument coming from a mile away. “Haven’t you ever shopped at a thrift store?”
Enjolras shook his head. “I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I set foot in a clothing store,” he admitted, “what with sweatshops and non-union labor and God only knows what else.” He gestured again at his own clothing. “I mean, why do you think I basically wear seven variations of the same outfit each week?”
“I will perfectly honest with you, I don’t normally give that much thought to what you wear,” Jehan muttered, though at Enjolras’s somewhat affronted look, he quickly added, “Up until today, at least.” Thankfully, he was saved by the appearance of the thrift store, and he had never been more relieved to announce, “And here we are.”
He parked and together they walked up to the store, Enjolras eyeing it with increasing trepidation. “I feel like I’m walking to my execution.”
Jehan was deeply tempted to roll his eyes but settled for opening the door for Enjolras. “Be intrepid,” he encouraged. “I have faith in you.”
Enjolras gave him a withering look but didn’t say anything, just staring balefully at the racks of clothing stretched in front of them. “Alright,” he said resignedly, “so where do we start?”
“At the very beginning, a very good place to start,” Jehan quipped.
Enjolras scowled at him. “Getting Macklemore stuck in my head wasn’t enough for you? You had to resort to Rodgers and Hammerstein?”
Jehan just winked. “It got you to relax, right?”
For a moment it looked like Enjolras might deny it, but then he shook his head. “I hate that it worked,” he said sourly. “But seriously, where, uh, where should we start?”
“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about what you were thinking for tonight?” Jehan suggested, eyeing the clothes thoughtfully. “I mean, are you looking for a suit, or just shirt and tie, or…”
“Um,” Enjolras managed, and Jehan arched an eyebrow at him.
“Eloquent.”
Again Enjolras scowled. “How about a button down and pants of some sort?” he said through clenched teeth.
Jehan nodded approvingly. “See, and you were worried,” he teased, grabbing Enjolras’s arm and all but dragging him in the direction of the racks that seemed to boast the most amount of button-down shirts. “If we had time, I’d get your measurements so that we could do this properly, but we’ll have to resort to trial and error.” He nodded towards the far end of the rack. “Why don’t you start at that end, and see if there’s anything that catches your eye.”
Enjolras obediently shuffled to the end, starting to sort through the hangers. Jehan did the same on his end, though he didn’t pay much attention to what he was sorting through since he would know what he was looking for when he saw it. Instead, he decided now was as good a time as any to press for information. “So you didn’t ask Grantaire for help.”
“Is there a question in there?” Enjolras asked, not looking away from the clothes he was rummaging through.
Jehan just shrugged. “I mean, if you wanted someone who’s at least somewhat fashionable, I would have included him in your desperate pleas.”
“It’s not really something I wanted to admit to him,” Enjolras muttered, the tips of his ears burning red. “Admitting it to Courfeyrac and knowing that he will hold it over my head for the rest of my God-given life was bad enough. Grantaire would never let me live it down.”
Jehan nodded slowly. “I thought there might have been another reason.”
He said it casually, but Enjolras glanced at him, frowning. “Like what?”
“Because then you’d have to talk with Grantaire about your date.”
To his surprise, Enjolras just rolled his eyes. “Please,” he scoffed. “As if Grantaire, of all people, would care enough to talk about it.”
Jehan frowned. “He cares a lot more than you give him credit for.”
“I know that, I just meant—”
“What are you doing with that?” Jehan interrupted, and Enjolras jerked his hand back from the rack, startled.
“You told me to grab anything that caught my eye,” he said defensively.
Jehan had, but he also hadn’t thought Enjolras would actually do so. “Yes, but that’s so…”
He trailed off, trying to find the correct words, and Enjolras frowned down at the shirt in his hand. “I thought I’d look good in blue.”
Despite himself, Jehan grinned. “Who told you that?”
Enjolras flushed. “No one.”
“The same no one you’ll be seeing tonight?” Jehan guessed.
Judging by the way Enjolras’s flush darkened, he had guessed correctly. “He said blue brings out my eyes,” he mumbled.
Jehan hummed noncommittally. “Sounds like a man trying to get laid,” he said with a smirk. “Or like someone who’s watched a few too many episodes of Queer Eye.”
“Or both,” Enjolras muttered. He frowned, looking down at the shirt again. “So no blue?”
Jehan hesitated. “Maybe just not that shade of blue,” he hedged. “Besides, that shirt looks like it’s way too small for you.”
“Really?” Enjolras asked doubtfully, holding it up to himself.
“Yeah, you’re probably looking for more of a large, or an extra large,” Jehan told him.
Enjolras brow furrowed. “But I normally wear a small or medium.”
“Vintage clothes run small,” Jehan assured him.
For one long moment, Enjolras just stared at him, and Jehan held his breath. Then he shrugged and put the shirt back on the rack. “Ok,” he said, and Jehan exhaled. “So what do you suggest?”
Timing was on his side, as Jehan spotted the absolute perfect shirt right as Enjolras asked. He tried, and failed, to stop his grin. “You know, prints are really in right now,” he said casually, edging towards the shirt in question.
“Prints?” Enjolras repeated skeptically. “What, like a check? “
“I was thinking more of a polka-dot,” Jehan said, picking the shirt in question up and holding it out to Enjolras. “What do you think of this?”
Enjolras stared doubtfully at it. “I think it’s, um, yellow.”
“I’d describe it more as goldenrod,” Jehan said brightly.
Enjolras wrinkled his nose. “And are the polka dots purple?”
Jehan glanced at the shirt. “I think they’re magenta.”
Despite his clear misgivings, Enjolras took the shirt from Jehan, looking at it without anything remotely approaching enthusiasm. “And you think this will look good on me?”
“I think the only way to truly tell is for you to try it on,” Jehan told him. “But we should find you a pair of pants to accompany them.”
Enjolras looked even less enthused by that prospect. “Can’t I just wear my jeans?”
“You could, but you were the one who said button down and pants,” Jehan reminded him, before really deciding to twist the knife. “And I hate to break it to you, because I know how deeply your love for them runs, but skinny pants are out.”
Enjolras now looked something closer to despondent. “So what are my options, then?”
Jehan tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well, there’s always khaki cargo shorts.”
Enjolras looked horrified by the prospect. “It’s a little cold for shorts, don’t you think?”
But Jehan was not so easily deterred. “How about cargo pants, then?”
Enjolras made a face. “I don’t think I’ve worn cargo pants since junior high.”
“Fashion is cyclical,” Jehan assured him. “Everything once in fashion comes in again.” Enjolras didn’t look even remotely convinced but Jehan resolutely steered him towards the pants. “C’mon, let’s see if we can find something.”
A few minutes later and they were following the same routine as with the shirt, though with a noted lack of enthusiasm from either party. Jehan cleared his throat. “So…tell me about your date.”
For the first time, Enjolras actually looked something like excited. “He wants it to be a surprise, so he won’t tell me where we’re going,” he told him. “Because clearly he doesn’t care that some of us like to be able to adequately prepare for these things.”
Despite his words, Enjolras’s tone was fond, and Jehan almost felt bad for what he was about to do to him.
Emphasis on the word almost.
“So what made you decide that now was the time?” Jehan asked, and when Enjolras threw him a sharp look, he amended, “For dating, I mean. I just know you’ve never been particularly interested in it, so it seems to have come a little out of left field.”
Enjolras’s expression turned contemplative. “I don’t know,” he admitted, but a small, half-smile lifted the corner of his mouth as he thought about it. “I didn’t go looking for it, obviously, but sometimes something just – you know, clicks. And once you realize it…” He shrugged, still smiling. “I mean, yeah, the world is ending and everything’s falling to shit, so no time like the present, right?”
“Sure,” Jehan agreed, trying to curb his own skepticism since the world had been falling apart since Reagan. “And you like him?”
Enjolras’s smile softened and he nodded. “I do. I really, really do.” He gave Jehan a measured look. “And while I normally loathe prying, I do appreciate you asking.”
Jehan jerked a nod. “Right,” he said, his tone turning brisk. “Well. These looks they’re about your size.”
He grabbed a pair of cargo pants from the rack, which looked like they were straight out of 2001. Enjolras eyed them warily, showing somehow even less enthusiasm than he had for the shirt. “Those are green.”
“I’d call them olive.”
Enjolras stared flatly at him. “You want me to wear green pants with a yellow shirt?”
As a poet, Jehan knew how to finesse a phrase, but this was a whole new level of diplomacy and tact, and for not the first time that day, Jehan wished Combeferre had a better sense of style than he did. He would be perfect to handle this. “Generally speaking, it’s good to keep things in the same section of the color spectrum,” Jehan said carefully. “That way you don’t have to worry about opposite ends of the spectrum clashing.”
This time, Enjolras didn’t bother hesitating, just shrugged in a slightly defeated way before grabbing the pants from Jehan. “Well, I trust you.”
“Great,” Jehan said cheerfully. “So go try it on, and then I want to see.”
Enjolras heaved a sigh before slumping in the direction of the fitting room. Jehan watched him go, holding his breath as if waiting for Enjolras to change his mind, to turn back around and tell him that this was a stupid idea, and these clothes were absolutely horrendous.
But he didn’t, and when the door closed after Enjolras, Jehan let out a relieved breath. He allowed himself a small, triumphant grin, and pulled out his phone to text Courfeyrac. Probably too soon to make this call but I’m gonna pull a George W. Bush and say…Mission Accomplished.
Only a moment later and his phone dinged with a text from Courfeyrac. Hero, Courfeyrac said, followed almost immediately by, Do you think you can get a pic?
Jehan’s grin sharpened. I’ll sure as shit try.
— — — — —
That night, Jehan and Courfeyrac sat together at the bar the Musain, enjoying a well-earned drink. “I still think you should’ve tried to get him to buy the plaid pants,” Courfeyrac said, clinking his beer bottle against Jehan’s.
Jehan laughed. “I think even Enjolras knew those were hideous,” he said. “Besides, the puke yellow shirt and green cargo pant combo is enough to scare off any self-respecting gay.”
Courfeyrac nodded before pausing, something contemplative in his expression. “Of course, that means we’re banking awfully hard on someone both being into Enjolras and having self-respect.”
Jehan snorted into his beer. “That is true,” he said with a chuckle, taking a swig of beer before his smile faded slightly. “I do almost feel a little bad.”
Courfeyrac glanced at him. “For the guy?” he asked. “For making him see that outfit with his own two eyes? Because I know it’s an image I’m not going to get out of my head anytime soon.”
The thought of the picture Jehan had managed to surreptitiously snap of Enjolras in his date night outfit was enough to bring his smile back, even as he told Courfeyrac, “For ruining Enjolras’s date with the world’s ugliest outfit. Obviously I know we all want him and Grantaire to end up together, but he seems to actually like this guy. And we should probably try to support him in that.”
“And not try to sabotage things?” Courfeyrac asked wryly.
“Yeah.”
Courfeyrac sighed. “Well now I feel bad,” he said, though he didn’t particularly sound it. “On the other hand, if it means Enjolras ends things with this guy before Grantaire finds out…”
Jehan shook his head. “The ends justify the means?”
“Something like that,” Courfeyrac said.
Jehan shrugged. “For what it’s worth, I asked Grantaire if he wanted to grab a drink with us tonight but he said he had plans,” he said bracingly. “So maybe he’s moving on, too.”
Courfeyrac didn’t look even remotely convinced. “Yeah, maybe.”
Jehan’s phone buzzed on the bar and he glanced down at it, brightening. “Oh, speak of the devil…Hey Grantaire.”
“What the fuck?” he squawked, borderline hysterical in Jehan’s ear, and Jehan’s smile froze.
“Grantaire, what—”
Grantaire made a sound that Jehan pretty sure was a sob, and Jehan’s heart plummeted to his knees. “Jehan, I cannot – this is – oh my God—”
“Grantaire, are you ok?” Jehan asked worriedly, trying desperately to flag down the bartender. “I don’t understand—”
“Enjolras’s outfit,” Grantaire wailed, and for the first time, Jehan realized that what he had interpreted as sobs were in facts gales of hysterical laughter. “I didn’t think it was possible to make a man this gorgeous look this ugly but holy fucking shit—”
Jehan’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “But how did you…” He trailed off as realization hit him like a ton of bricks, as did Enjolras’s perpetual confusion about why he would ask or tell Grantaire anything about his date.
His date, assumedly, with Grantaire.
“Oh my God, I didn’t even think—”
Courfeyrac looked like he was about to yank the phone out his hand and ask him what was going on, but Jehan waved him away as Grantaire hiccuped, “This is the best thing to ever happen to me,” while in the background, he could just hear Enjolras growl, “Prouvaire, the next time I see you, I swear to fucking God—”
“Leave him alone, it’s hilarious,” Grantaire said with a chortle.
“To you!”
“Grantaire, I had no idea,” Jehan told him, a little weakly, feeling his face flush. “I thought Enjolras was going on a date with some rando, so…”
“So you decided to sabotage it,” Grantaire said, and Jehan could hear the grin in his voice. “I appreciate it, I really do, though we’ll have to revisit at some point the fact than none of you thought I might actually have scored a date with him.” Jehan winced, but Grantaire added, a little softer, “Besides, I was a bit nervous, and now I am emphatically not. In fact, for the first time, I’m beginning to believe this might just work.”
“Then it was almost worth the ass-kicking Enjolras is going to try to give me later,” Jehan said solemnly.
Grantaire just laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him,” he assured him.
“Enjoy your night,” Jehan said, hanging up.
Courfeyrac waved his arms. “So what the actual fuck?” he demanded. “What the fuck is going on?”
Jehan couldn’t help himself – he laughed. “So remember what you said about the end justifying the means?” he asked. “Well, funny story about that…”
#exr#enjolras x grantaire#enjoltaire#enjolras#jehan#jean prouvaire#courfeyrac#grantaire#fanfiction#les miserables#modern au#hijinks and shenanigans#clothes shopping#first dates
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