#clone high episode 10

[juicehashtag]

(Spoiler kinda)

NAH THE FINAL DOESNT EXSIT IM DENYING IT, (how could they do this to me)

It was all doing ok until the end #joanslanderforwhat 🙈

[abey-baby-apologist]

clone high final episode spoilers below! (9 n 10)

holy fuck im so happy. even though im super annoyed how they keep throwing a bunch of really good ideas for relationships and plot in the trash- im just so happy with what we got. 

OK FIRST EPISODE 9??? THE ANIMATION WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE WHEN WESLEY WAS FLAILING IN THE SEA, IT WAS DAMN smooth and pleasant to watch, as morbid as it sounds lol. that whole scene with the comic-esque vibe was so so pleasing. 

and that whole episode was super like, sad but funny. i literally stood up and yelled when Mr. B was getting near the edge. like i probably woke up every single one of my neighbors in like.. a 50 mile radius it was that bad im so fucking annoying about this show. 

BUT THEN SCUDS SAVED HIM AND I WAS SO HAPPY, LIKE THEYRE LITERALLY AN OLD COUPLE, AND LITERALLY THEY’RE FATHERS TO THEIR CLONE KIDS AND THEYRE ALL SUCH A BIG HAPPY FAMILY AND AUGHHHH im gonna draw family stuff with them so bad. I WISH THESE EPISODES CAME OUT BEFORE FATHERS DAY IT WOULD’VE BEEN PERFECT. 

ok, episode 10 i have to take a deep breath with. i am VERY happy. and idk if it was because the bar was so low, or if it was because i was so anxious i was vomiting everywhere because i needed content so bad, but i am overjoyed. 

THE ABETOPH CONTENT WE GOT WAS SO GOOD. WE HAVE LIKE... 3 NEW CUTE PHOTOS OF THEM HANGING OUT, AND LIKE A BUNCH OF MOMENTS OF ABE CARRYING TOPHER ON HIS BACK. was it because he was being tophers lackey? fine, sure, whatever. BUT AFTER THAT WHEN JFK BROKE TOPHERS PHONE IT WAS OVER (im upset it wasnt developed on further because people who didnt watch it in real time like us will surely be fine. so fuck you.) 

Also, ABE AND JFKS FREINDSHIP HOLUYDBIUJEWNFJKNF oh my god not to be autistic but i was stimming so fucking hard WHEN THEY HUGGED, I WAS LIKE YES FINALLY. FINALLLLLYYY!!! theyre my sweet boys and THAT WHOLE FRIEND GROUP HAS ME IN TEARS. LIKE abe and Confucius are already bros, as we see them playing in the school yard, and JFK and Confucius are already bros from the sleepover episode, but NOW JFK AND ABE ARE BROS. FUCK. YEAH. oh and tophers there too. i like how they treat topher tbh. like hes just there until he says something out of pocket and they’re just like stfu. 

but with the girls friend group.. oof. i honestly loved them so much, especially with cleo, but NOW ITS FUCKED. and its not even joans fault tbh. like when i was watching the scene where frida dropped joan i was like “damn” but then, JOAN MENTIONS HOW SHE HELPED EVERYONE BEFORE AND I WAS LIKE “DAYYYYYYUUMMMM UR RIGHT” so now im conflicted. But again like??? bruh i would choose cleo too tbh lmao.

Also, i’m glad clone college isn’t real. because jfk mentions about taking shelly to .. biology? which i think is a only 1st year class. and in the original clone high everyone is like “omg u hit puberty over summer” Which i feel is typically something thats potrayed in media AFTER middle school. but i could be wrong so, idk. just really glad they didn’t do the clone college bc i hate change. also theyre 16 lmao. OR MAYBE THEY WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT... in the future when highschools done?? IDK. IDC.

anyway. im scared for joans friend group and i fucking love joan, and i am in love with abe, toph, jfk, and Confucius’s little bromances and augh. im so happy. and THE CLIFF HANGER WASN’T TERRIBLE ALSO, IN MY OPNINON. 

im just glad joanabe wasn’t endgame. i mean, i would be pretty happy because im a sucker for childhood friends to lovers but also NOOOOOO joan deserves better. so. yeah 10/10 

if you read this far, holy crap, im proud of you, and ily 

that is my review on the finale so i’ll be making so much content now that im not on the brink of collapsing everytime i think of clone high. like trust me im gonna try and stretch out this fixation for as long as i can. though im probably gonna draw a surplus of abe and jfk art bc they were my fav in 2020

[plushrats]

duo of bros who will remain friends for the rest of their lives !!!

[steakout-05]

i've made a few posts about the Clone High reboot before but something specific that i think it gets wrong are the way they handle their celebrity cameos. the original Clone High would sometimes bring in these popular celebrities to appear in the show, usually to influence the clones and push the main anti-moral of the episode. since Clone High was made in the early 2000s, these appearances got really dated really fast. but something that counteracts that is the way they're characterised. for example, i have no clue who tf Mandy Moore is, but i still really enjoyed her appearance in the Snowflake Day episode because of the way she's characterised and satirised. she's portrayed as this homeless girl who happens to be attractive and look suspiciously like Mandy Moore who's obviously trying to hide the fact that she's a popular celebrity by playing the role of Joan's guardian angel. she leads Joan on into thinking she's this magical angel when she's actually just stealing everyone's stuff and replacing it with spices, and it works really well because 1. her insistence that she isn't a celebrity was really funny and 2. she works on her own as a solid character to push the story along and set up jokes. they put a twist on the whole "hi i'm [insert celebrity here] and i'm here to talk about [insert psa here]" by turning it into a joke of itself and adding on extra traits that make the characters entertaining to watch.

the reboot, however... just does the "hi i'm celebrity" bit with full sencerity and doesn't really satirise the celebrities in any way. they don't make fun of them or add commentary or critique them in any way, they just appear to send a message and then dip, just like they would in the same teen dramas Clone High was meant to parody in the first place. for example, in the episode where they get hunted down by the Heebie Jeebie monster, its revealed at the end to be that guy from Sharknado who's just kinda like "hey i'm trying to send a message about the importance of teenager's mental health, here's a hotline, i'm sharknado dude btw" and then just kinda... dips? i don't like this because there's no joke there, it's literally just a celebrity coming on, saying the message out loud, and then leaving. there's no criticisms, there's no making fun of the character, there's no commentary on the fakeness of bringing on big celebrities and actors delivering a message that big stars like them could's possibly care less about to influence a vulnerable and impressionable group of people like teenagers, there's nothing there. i'm not saying the message of mental health is dumb or bad or anything, i'm just saying that the celebrity appearances aren't handed the same criticisms the original show was written to have, and i think that takes away the reboot's spirit as being connected to Clone High. it's not a satire anymore and i feel like i can't enjoy it because of that. it has become the very thing the original saught to mock, and like, that's kinda funny in a fucked up ironic way, but it's also really not. the reboot just doesn't have that same spark that made me fall in love with the original series and i feel like i can't like it because of that, among the multitude of other issues it has.

[jfkonfucius]

CH Confucius The headcanon

He owns a honse. And it looks like this:

:)!

[baxtervalentine]

some candide images from episodes 9-10

[smilesrobotlover]

Rewatching Clone Wars and Rebels and I just gotta say it. Star Wars peaked with those shows. I love them so much

[princehugo]

SORRY CLONE HIGH SEASON 3 IS OUT??????

[planetary]

25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

[david-talks-sw]

I got a good feeling about "The Acolyte"

Not even kidding. Like, I've spoken before about why I'm wary of it.

George Lucas' Star Wars is something that intentionally has black and white morality, rather than shades of gray. Those movies are meant for kids and projecting a "gray" morality onto them then proclaiming it was George's vision all along is doing so in bad faith.

The narrative of the Prequels doesn't frame the Prequel Jedi in as negative a light as Leslye Headland, Dave Filoni, etc etc do.

See here for more details, but bottom line: yeah, a show that has a darksider as the underdog is bound to demonize the Jedi (who are the actual underdogs in the Prequels), and obviously that rubs me the wrong way.

BUT.

The trailer looks fucking cool. It really really does.

And more importantly? I've done some research... and Leslye Headland is ticking a lot of good boxes, in my book.

1. The Acolyte won't be a 10-hour movie.

I've criticized Disney Plus shows before, explaining that a big source for most of their issues is that these series are being structured as "long movies" rather than, y'know, actual shows.

But in this interview with Collider, Headland addresses that: it'll be a series. Not a long movie that you need to watch across four weeks.

Thank God. You have no idea how much that comforts me. Finally a showrunner who's, y'know, actually running a show.

And this goes hand in hand with what she told IGN, here, about how she's going about building suspense.

Yes! Exactly! That's how it's supposed to be!

Like, compare this to Baylan Skoll's storyline in Ahsoka.

In no possible way was that emotionally-fulfilling. For 8 episodes we had no idea what he was after, and the season ended where we still don't know. What does he want? What is he after? Your guess is as good as mine, it's something Mortis-related.

So yeah. Maybe getting the Emmy-nominated trained screenwriter on board to run this was a good idea.

2. Maybe the Jedi will not be as demonized as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong. 80% of what she says about the Jedi makes me cringe. It's the typical fan's interpretation and y'all know I disagree with that interpretation.

It's painful to see her refer to the Jedi as an institution (not how the Prequels' narrative frames them) and to see her frame "Balance" in the "oh there's so many of them and just two Sith, that means the Force is out of balance" meaning... but at least she acknowledges the Jedi are a benevolent institution.

They're not an "elitist force hiding in their ivory tower" as others have described the Jedi.

Moreover, there'll be a variety of Jedi POVs, many personalities.

Yord Fandar, is described as a strictly by-the-book Jedi Knight and guardian from the Jedi Temple, is an overachiever and a rule follower.

The question now becomes: will the narrative frame him as "your typical Jedi" or is it just this one guy? I'm hoping it's the latter.

I also like how her reasoning goes re: Jedi drawing their lightsabers.

Which explains the hand-to-hand combat seen in the trailer.

This teenager is coming at Carrie-Ann Moss with a dagger, of course the Jedi won't draw her saber.

3. She's a fan of Star Wars... but a screenwriter first.

You can tell in the interviews she's a fan. She's using words like "BBY" and "EU" casually. In the above-linked interviews she's bringing up the Nightsisters, Timothy Zahn, The Clone Wars, she mentions she has a tattoo of Ralph McQuarrie's concept art of Leia, the High Republic books, etc.

She's done her homework. She's a fan.

But the vibe I'm getting from these interviews is that she's weaving in these various lore-elements in a more organic way, rather than in the "fan-servicey" way Dave Filoni has been doing in his shows.

The references and Easter Eggs will be there, but the narrative won't bend over itself just so you can get it. Crafting a good story comes first, and Andor is a beautiful illustration of why this is true.

Which is why I was never bothered about one of the writers never having watched Star Wars before getting the job. You need those fresh eyes when you're tackling something of this scale.

That makes sense to me. Maybe it's because of my own screenwriting experience, but yeah. That out-of-the box perspective is precious.

And like, obviously, that writer watched the films eventually, but for some reason everyone who bitched about Headland omitted that detail and opted for a more bad faith interpretation.

Hm. Wonder why.

Maybe it's the same reason that months ago this clipped audio circulated socials without context, in which she debates whether Star Wars only came from George Lucas and only Lucas is the key.

The FULL context of that interview reveals that she's actually:

debating the "autheur director" myth and positing that it was achieved by a collective of excellent filmmakers and craftspeople that George was skilled and smart enough to recruit...

the studios now think it's a simple as hiring one guy and throwing money at him, because they have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. See Napoleon (2023) for example.

Yes, she also does a jab to the Prequels, which speaks to the generation of fans she's a part of... but overall she's giving Lucas props whilst also stating an ideological difference, that's it!

George is a proponent of the "autheur" theory, Leslye isn't.

However, guess what, in like half the talks George gave post-selling Star Wars? He's giving shoutouts to everyone who helped make the first film, even remembering their names.

So I'm not even sure he'd vehemently disagree with Leslye, in fact they'd prolly have a conversation about it and immediately bitch about how stupid studio executives are :D

But that's not as incendiary, is it? Again, the more I do the research, the more it feels like the reason most of these influencers are hating on her is purely sexist.

I mean, on IGN she's even acknowledging that she does plan on taking stock of fan reactions for Season 2.

It's not a guarantee that she'll incorporate the feedback, but at least that's more consideration than, say, JJ Abrams or Rian Johnson gave the fandom.

She's even bringing the moral ambiguity that the Gray Jedi-loving edge-lords love so much.

"No, she's a woke feminist! Anything she does is evil! Eww, girls!"

🙄

Needless to say... I'm gonna give it a shot.

I think it's gonna be a good show, I think it's gonna be a solid story.

I'm crossing my fingers that they won't as biased against the Jedi as it seems they'll be. Even if they are... if it's still an enjoyable experience, I'll gloss over it.

As @gffa states in this post:

Worst case? It's not a story from George. I can dismiss it from my headcanon without a moment's hesitation :D

[no-psi-nan]

Saiki's life if this character wasn't in it:

Nendo: Hell on earth, canonically (according to the light novels). Saiki series gets canceled, leading to Saiki rampaging out of control. All of Saiki's classmates also end up twisted.

Kaido: Might not have reunited that little girl with her dog, which led to an important friendship lesson. Saiki x Nendo rumors would be stronger since now they'd seem like a couple instead of a friend trio. Uhhh... Saiki would've been forced to attend that party they were late to... Saiki might have had to visibly intervene the 2 times Yumehara was in trouble, which would have left her still crushing on him and causing a rivalry between her and Teruhashi.

Yumehara: Teruhashi seems to go evil in every universe where Yumehara is not around or is not her friend, so even though she doesn't do too much to Saiki directly, an untamed Teruhashi would be causing LOTS of problems. Also she's the one who lead to all of Saiki's friends vacationing at the foot of the volcano so that would've been a problem avoided lol.

Hairo: A lot less sports shenanigans to be sure. The armed robbery probably would've been successful. Saiki's summer schedule would have also remained pretty empty that one year lol.

Teruhashi: Honestly this would immediately eliminate like 50% of Saiki's problems. No Teruhashi, no Kokomins, no Saiko, no Makoto, and Imu would not be a problem for him either. Deserted island arc avoided too. However, Yumehara never falls for Kaido and the Occult Club fails to launch, so no Yumehara + Arisu friendship. Saiki would've gotten to watch that movie, which might have left him more comfortable wearing the germanium ring sometimes. 🤔 Maybe him missing an important thought could have caused a problem eventually??

Mera: Makoto would have been on the plane to the Okinawa trip so maybe Saiki would've let it stay grounded instead of fighting the storm hsfjdlshfks. Café Mami would've closed probably, which might have had more repercussions since Saiki goes there often. No clinical trial episode. Saiki might've not grown to trust Aiura as much if they didn't fix the Mr. Mera situation together.

Kuboyasu: Saiki might have had to reveal his powers to Kaido 🤔 He only let the bullies approach at all because of Kaido's thoughts about liars, which were spurred by Kuboyasu though. Possibly Kaido would have had this thought process eventually anyways, which would then make Saiki stop being his friend and reject future friendships even more.

Toritsuka: Would Saiki have been able to defeat the robot clone without Toritsuka's help? Would Saiki have been able to win the cat tank episode without any help, especially if the Toritsuka fight had been replaced with a family member as hostage or something? Who would've pretended to be Saiki during the volcano arc? Also Toritsuka told Saiki about the Hii situation before anyone got killed and was the one who solved Hii's problem permanently(?) so if Toritsuka hadn't helped then there probably would've been a lot more Hii problems for Saiki to solve.

Kusuke: Well, Saiki would be an only child with no limiters and powers growing out of control... Would he have been able to eventually learn to control his powers without the interference of the limiters? Or might have he been driven mad by it, or fled the planet to escape all the noise?? Truly hard to say...

Saiko: Deserted island arc avoided as well as the Saiko manor Kokomin siege. Volcano situation wouldn't have needed a redo, though the lack of hotel room might've caused other problems. No changes to the bathroom at PK Academy.

Aiura: Saiki is stuck in high school forever, since it took 10 clones, the original Saiki, and Aiura's perfect predictions to stop the eruption. Also Yumehara probably would have died when after getting that death mark since she and Saiki would've been at their respective homes at the time it activated. Oh, and the train crash would have happened as well. Saiki probably would've blamed himself for these deaths and/or would've had to do time leaps to fix them, if possible. Actually it's unknown whether Saiki can defeat death marks without knowing about them / without Aiura's intervention. The fortune telling customer would've died too but that wouldn't have been Saiki's problem. That one guy wouldn't have found his soulmate in Africa probably 🥺

Satou: Well there would be less light in Saiki's life. Also Saiki would've had to spend a lot of time interfering with Hii's situation, which could have possibly gotten Saiki killed eventually, since he did get a death mark dealing with her.

Imu: No Teruhashi mixer scene or forcing Teruhashi to acknowledge her feelings. None of that really affects Saiki's life though tbh?

Akechi: Less trauma probably. However, his example of what a good and fun game can be also led Kusuo to reconciliation with his brother, which meant that Kusuke helped with the volcano. 🤔 Hard to say whether it would be a net positive or not!

Hii: Ok, she's pretty much caused nothing but problems and was only around for like 2 episodes. No relationship chain diagram though, and that was peak comedy!

👇🏾 Lmk if I missed anything in the notes or reblogs!

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Weremonster), Part III

Here we go, first comedic episode of the Revival. 

…Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

Part I (My Struggle I) and Part II (Founder's Mutation).

Let's go!

MULDER AND SCULLY MEET THE WEREMONSTER

Why are we starting with adults huffing spray paint.

…Darin wrote two episodes with people getting high off of the strangest substances. 

And that’s not a lot, but it’s odd that it happened twice. 

Why do monsters always run towards the people or object or whatever they’re trying to scare or escape from? Like, what if he got surprise-shanked by two high, high school dropouts? (It’s not out of the realm of possibility.)  

No self-preservation instinct, tsk tsk. 

This dude’s okay, no that dude, woah that dude might not be okay. 

…Random paper bag for the high man to stress-blow into. 

Oh, look, a writer remembering the lore. 

How quaint. 

(Sidenote: Darin did not remember the lore, and kinda prided himself on not keeping up with all of it. But that won’t matter to me if he writes a good one-off.)

Mulder’s older now so he can’t stretch his neck to throw pencils at the ceiling. I guess. I suppose. I supposition. I presume.  

Kumail’s in this one? 

…’Kay. 

“Mulder?” Yay, that’s Scully-- “What are you doing to my poster?” And that’s Gillian. 

Mulder’s recounting all his failures in an upbeat, presentational way ‘cuz he’s wooing his girl. At least neither of them act like they’re on the precipice of death, that’s neato. 

Oh, look, Scully can smile. Remember how she did that twice in My Struggle I? Good times. 

Why’s her shirt look like it’s from Walmart?

Forgot this… pencil-scratch material was popular around the mid twenty-teens.

Can I forget it again…? …No? Do they leave it behind in Season 10? 

“--Going through these cases with fresh, if not wiser eyes.” Well, I don’t know about that. 

Also, is that a dig at his “wiseness” or a tongue-in-cheek joke at Mulder’s pat-on-the-back nature? (Lemme rewind.) Backpat coupled with epiphany. 

“Mulder? Have you been taking your meds?” 

…

….

…..

What, did they expect a laugh out of me? It just annoyed me because of the whole “Mulder’s depression” trauma I suffered for two episodes. 

But at least Darin’s trying to remind us that’s an on-going issue (despite CC implying it doesn’t bother Mulder anymore in My Struggle I and Morgan?-- or Wong-- reinforcing that idea in his “bitterly healed and chakras open” Founder’s Mutation ending.) 

Mulder’s a middle-aged man who just got back to the office and is wondering if anything he’s accomplished… well, if he’s accomplished anything. 

A valid question in these dark times. 

And by dark times, we all know what me and my chocolate-addled, My Struggle-PTSDed brain are referring to. 

Mulder certainly does:

“Maybe it’s time to put away childish things-- the Sasquatches, the Mothmen, and… Jackalopes.” 

Okay, well that’s rude-- I always wanted to see a jackalope case. 

Mulder spent one weekend not getting a community response to his latest fanfic and let the dark thoughts take over. 

All joke’s aside, this is an… it’s an okay scene. It’s weighty enough to be taken seriously, you feel for this clone of Mulder’s, you hope he gets his Mr. Incredibles act together--

Oh, wait, he already did by now. 

I guess. 

We skipped the traincar training montage while he was getting back into FBI ready shape. 

…

.....

.......

You’re welcome. 

On another aside, Skinner just pulled all the strings only for Mulder to have an identity crisis after one weirdo case. 

Man’s been carrying everyone on his back for decades with no rest and his newly recruited, depressed-but-not-depressed-depending-on-the-writer, domesticated-feral-animal agent might just trounce back out of the FBI and go wall up somewhere to mope. 

At least he’s not wandering off to take illegal substances to satisfy his curiosity. 

No. 

That’s saved for another episode. 

Scully brushes over Mulder’s confession to say, “we got another case, and this one’s ALSO got a monster in it.” 

And that makes him happy. 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooookay. 

*scribbling notes for later observation*

Darin has a favorite and that is OG Scully. And I will give it to him, she actually sounds happy for once. 

ALSO, I noticed your smoker voice is gone, GILLIAN, unless you’re mumbling or using The Sad Voice ™. I noticed. 

Scully’s insisting this is a monster case while Mulder mopes around the woods and says it’s a mountain lion. 

…I’m NOT gonna nitpick. I’m NOT-- OKAY, so, rewind time. 

Older Mulder-- as in the 90s Mulder-- would have at least been amused by Scully’s antics and followed her around for the fun of it, unless he felt used and abused, i.e. Host and Folie a Deux. Here is not the case. 

Further, he was intrigued in the basement but is now kind of… dismissive. 

Which is. It’s not a big problem, it doesn’t stand out, and it wouldn’t be something I’d clock except I’m very disgruntled and burned and grumpy about the past three days. 

However. 

Let’s continue. 

 Mulder’s Patriarchy Pants are making him do the Marilyn Monroe wiggle again. However, like a virus, middle-aged wedgie crotch has infected Scully, too; and the two of them are squeak-squonking ‘round the forest. 

They do say marriage slowly turns you into each other. 

Mulder sloughing off the naked guy in the crime scene pics as “Well, maybe he’s a nudist.” 

Darin. 

I know what you’re doing here. 

Give Mulder the doubting identity crisis and have his faith transformed. A reverse Clyde Bruckman, if you will. I get it. But you gotta admit, "a nudist" is a pretty weak rationalization, let alone a comeback. 

“That’s how I’d like to go out.” That saved it a little.

“The uniqueness of the wound, Mulder, implies a human element.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters.” WHAT? LAST WEEK?

YOUR CREDENTIALS AS A PROFILER GOT YOU HIRED BACK TO THE FBI--

Pause, pause, pause. 

He’s probably being tongue-in-cheek. He gave up monsters this morning and profiling last night. 

…If he’s not, what’s Mulder gonna do? Take up residence under Skinner’s desk? Have his bald benefactor feed him pencil shavings between meetings? 

“You seen one serial killer, you seen ‘em all.” Quite literally, no. 

I am. 

Puzzled. 

It’s not offensive-- WAIT, NO. I’m being emotionally manipulated by a softer Mulder and more upbeat Scully, youcan’ttakemealive--

“Mulder, I can see you’re going through a questioning phase of some sort--”

You don’t say. 

From bar to basement. From closet to forest. From Founder’s Mutation to… Weremonster Investigation.

Scully points out they need to help the victims.

Mulder: “Okay, well when you put it that way, Scully, but mark my words--”

I’m not getting the essence of Mulder here, gang. 

I got him for, like, three whiffs in My Struggle I and once at the end of Founder’s Mutation, but he’s MIA here so far. 

…Perhaps my “clone Mulder” crack in a previous paragraph kinds fits. 

Hmmm. If he continues to be Mulder-adjacent, I shall name him… I was gonna say ‘Charlie’, then remembered that’s Scully’s brother’s name. The CC name rot is infecting me. 

The streetwalker-on-crack scene was amusing, but not really funny. 

OH, MAN, JUST GOT JUMP-SCARED BY KUMAIL, OHMYWORD. 

Also, that was a weird cut-- Scully opens her mouth to say something, Mulder looks at her, CUT, Kumail face. 

The director was meaning to imply Mulder stopped Scully’s attempted defense with a look, but it only made it seem like one of them said something so cancellable the editors drop-kicked that bit from the final recording. 

I haven’t laughed once .

Welp, Kumail ran off after playing a scared animal control officer for three seconds. 

Pardon, but what was the purpose of that scene?

This kinda feels like a play: in this set piece, the hooker whacks a creature with a purse; in this set piece, Kumail gets spooked by the agents and runs off after hearing a roar; still in this set piece, Mulder whips out his phone and starts… hitting… the… picture… button. 

My thought process:

It's dark at night. 

2. I hear a ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR. 

3. I'm pulling out my gun, not my camera. 

You know why?

There are more tigers in North American than the world combined. 

Just sayin’. 

SCULLY, REINSTALL THE SAFETY FEATURE IN YOUR KEN, PLEASE. 

JUST. PUT. THE PHONE. ON. VIDEO. MODE. 

Oh, wait, he’s a tech goombus who doesn’t know how to take videos. 

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY--

…

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY THROUGH HIS PHOTOS INSTEAD OF NOTICING THE CORPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?

I’m not mad because this isn’t as mean-spirited as the previous two episodes, but that’s just. That’s just.  

That. 

Wait, how’d they get from Mulder’s camera setting to his photo collage, without swiping or going there or…? He was taking rapid-fire pictures, Scully looks over, says, “What’s that?”, and the camera cuts to a picture that has to be in the phone’s gallery. …What happened-- you know what? Never mind. 

Mulder runs off INTO THE DARK with ONLY HIS CAMERA OUT while Scully is yards behind him WITH THE GUN. 

Solid decision making there. 

My man, if this were a tiger (we’ve already seen it’s the horny Lizardman) or a cougar in heat (well, give Scully a few episodes), you’d probably be very dead. 

I’ve named Mulder-Clone: Ken. He’s cute, he’s having an identity crisis, and he’s as dumb as a rock. 

This fits unintentionally well with his Patriarchy Pants (though they’re wearing him, not of the other way around.) 

Kumail’s here and they both scared each other and now they’re hyper-Ken-focusing on Ken’s wonky phone app and stuff. 

Barbie-- clone Scully-- hears Ken and Kumail screaming their lungs out after getting jumped by Lizardman and only NOW notices Mulder had Marilyn Monroe shimmied off. 

Imagine if this were the end of Mulders career: questioning his life’s purpose, losing the battle to technology, and T-posing, dead, on the ground. 

Ken sounds completely fine when Scully runs up to him asking if he's okay. No wooziness. No nothing. (Kumail, too.)

“Okay. I quit.” Smarty Mr. K. over there (not Ken, but you knew that.)

Monster’s a-running, and Formerly-Mulder springs up and races off with Scully. 

What did that jumpscare accomplish, narratively? What did any of these jumpscares accomplish, narratively?

I know we’re only 10 minutes in, but it’s feeling a little too… scene-scene-scene-scene-scene, jumpscare-jumpscare-jumpscare, phone-phone-phone-phone-phone. T-pose. That was a shakeup, I guess. 

Ken was going to question the guy on the pot (who is, indeed, the Lizardman, btw) but notices Scully’s face and closes the door and walks away with her. 

Strangely, that and the basement are the only scenes, thus far, where Ken was most like Mulder. 

Scully, do you regret putting a battery pack in your Ken doll now?

This interaction is still Ken-not-Mulder, but Scully is kinda recognizable. 

Just realized. Mulder replaced his slideshow with a phone. Now he can inflict them on his partner even in the midst of her autopsies. 

No one is safe. 

THERE’S A MULDER MOMENT, I ACTUALLY SMILED! 

And now it’s gone. 

“So now you’re saying you were attacked by a six-foot horny toad?”

“Woah, let’s keep this in the realm of natural sciences, shall we?”

Um. 

That’s not a Mulder line. 

That’s not even a Ken line, I don’t think. 

Need to think up a new name for Mulder, I guess. 

I figured it out. David’s attacking the lines too vigorously rather than letting them breathe. I’m sure he’ll get there. 

Or Mulder and Scully were swallowed up by a black hole the second after they exchanged “Scratchy beard” niceties. Because that’s the last I’ve seen of them. 

But honestly? Clone. Lives. Matter. 

So, I shall fully support Clone Mulder and Clone Scully living their truth, expressing their lived experiences, and digging through each other’s brains like hairless capuchin monkeys dressed in skin-tight leotards.  

I was gonna say “horny, hairless capuchin monkeys” but I’ve not got a LICK of sexual tension between them this whole time. 

They do say married couples transition from goose-pimply “honeymoon love” to matured, knowing passion; but all I’m getting is the “knowing” and none of the “passion”.  

Right after my point, the two exchanged a little upbeat moment. I’ll give it that; but the passion’s still not there.

WAIT, this episode has the fox-in-the-wall scene? 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

I thought that was the doppelganger one. 

‘Kay. Color me intrigued. 

…WHAT is going on with these random, “comedic” scenes?

Desk clerk yells "Monster!", Mulder runs in, guy’s shaking over a bottle, makes up a story, tells Mulder to go back to his room “or I’ll kill ya.” Mulder nods and walks off. 

I’m not getting the fun of this episode, but I’m only 12 minutes in. So. 

Mulder’s snooping in someone else’s room. 

Mulder took someone else’s meds. 

Mulder found an animal head with hollow eyes that led him to a secret room behind the motel room. 

Heh, get it, he’s a Fox looking through fox eyes at Scully. Get it. 

I’m remembering bits from DD and GA’s commentary and how they were cheering him on in this moment. Someone should’ve told them this is Clone!Mulder. 

More proof this man finds burrows in the unlikeliest places:

The manager says he installed those peeping tom hallways after 9/11, and yes that’s being used as an excuse but there’s supposed to be a joke behind it, right?

For instance: Rocky from Jose Chung’s From Outer Space took some political hits, but the jokes were funny and well-written. Here, they're either badly written or… someone’s directing these actors astray. And I know Clone!Mulder and innkeeper man are good actors because they’re doing their best selling this material. Things still feel wonky, unfortunately. 

Mulder’s getting objectified again, Your Honor. He got closeted last episode, he’s “questioning” this episode, and he’s being stared at in his speedo. And he didn't mind one bit.

Innkeeper man’s got closets of his own, too. *badum tssssss*

HOW did Mulder’s phone get a picture of the Lizardman in his human form earlier? In the split-second he and Scully opened the potty stall before turning and continuing their search? I'll even grant that... but a CLEAR one?

Whatever, whatever, whatever. 

Clone!Mulder’s patched his disbelief during the insomnia upgrade.

Clone!Scully unleashed a beast but still wakes up and stays up to hear him ramble. (Here’s the “my Mulder” line and the could-have-been-a-Knick’s-T-shirt moment.)

I do have another nitpick: why is Mulder diatribing here-- trying to convince Scully it’s a werewolf when she’s been saying monster or creature from the get-go? Is it the “werewolf” claim that he thinks she’ll rebut? Or? 

I do like: Scully about to answer, then nearly smiling when Mulder cuts her off. Brilliant touch. Hats off to GA for that second of goodness. 

“‘It defies every known law of nature’-- exactly, Scully, every known law of nature!”

Mulder, she’s agreed with this point since Herrenvolk. She kinda did a mini speech about it. 

He doesn’t know how it came to be, but all he’s saying is, “it’s a MONSTER.” 

She’s ready to go back to the Unremarkable House already, Mulder. She just needed you to nerd out over monsters. 

Which… isn’t that actually the most Scully thing you’ve ever heard? Think about it: she wants to leave the Conspiracy behind, it’s eating her alive, she’s so sad and yadda yadda yadda. Darin says, “Hold up, this girl loves Mulder’s rants and raves” and makes her poke and prod him out of despair with a juicy creature case. And then (hopefully) reaps the benefits. 

Girl’s got a mission. 

And also, this doesn’t mesh at all with the Revival’s canon, but when has that stopped this crazy trainwreck? 

Why’s Scully calling him watered-down-for-FOX’s-approval crazy when she’s been saying creature this whole time?  Does she just… like arguing him? …That’s a stupid question, does she like arguing with him this much? …Again, that’s a--

Mulder spouts his theory, admits he stole stuff from another guy’s room, and tells Scully they can use his meds to track him down. “Well, that sounds like a good investigative plan.” In other words: “And you do so good at beach.” 

Now Mulder wants to go peeping around the motel, for the lols. 

Ken energy, I’m just saying. 

Alsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not Mulder, sorry. He’d be curious, intrigued, perhaps roguishly amused by peeping tom corridors; but he’s never taken the time to search places inch-by-inch, top-to-bottom unless they directly related to the case. Is this a nitpick? Probably. But he’s flinging around broken FBI regulations left-and-right, carelessly reckless of all the rules and laws he’s breaking. Sure, Mulder’s a lawbreaker; but not to the extent that it would violate civilian rights. And even if it were fine, he’d be running off to the next lead instead of sticking around to snuffle through a useless one. 

The “Lizardman stabbing himself in the mirror with green glass to break the curse, not realizing it’s him” story doesn’t… really…. Darin Morgan’s writing crackfic at this point. 

Impotency jokes. 

Ahhh, the middle ages: you end up questioning things about yourself or having to pop pills one way or another. 

The comedy keeps failing, I think, because it’s trying too hard. This episode feels like a play (did I mention that earlier?) with dramatic pauses and etc. etc. Not really X-Filesy. 

The psychologist prescribes Mulder a pill (because Mulder believes the Lizardman’s a lizard man), then pops the pill himself the second Mulder leaves… which meansssss he believed, too? Though he doesn’t? 

I get he was supposed to be a crazy psychologist (ala Dr. Spiegel during the Johnny Depp trials), but, again, the comedy flopped. 

“Horny toad lizard man” works at a smart phone shop OF COURSE. Because that’s soooooooooooo clever! Modernization, crises of humanity and identity, get it??? 

Weremonster’s not offensive, but it’s… I’m gonna be honest, it’s not clever, either. 

Why does Scully wear her shirt open almost past her bra line now? Not shaming her, but that doesn’t seem a very Scully thing to do. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking things. It was just her style, her way, her self-expression; and it feels smudged and lost in this version of Clone!Scully. 

At least she seems more naturally Scully, this episode. Which means she can only be natural in the funny episodes, huh. 

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Mulder has a gold car? Mulder rented a gold car? There’s a gold car here that serves as middle-age-over-compensation commentary. 

Mulder chastises Scully about the danger of approaching a dangerous suspect without backup then runs off, get it, ‘cuz that’s FUNNY. 

I must have a heart of coal because I’m bored instead of tickled. It’s waaaaaaay better than being angry and tired, though, so. 

“I’ll take it” is giving this experience too many brownie points, so I’ll use “I’m resigned”, instead. 

Here we go, the part where the Lizardman voices Darin Morgan’s gripes with work culture (and I say that because Darin himself said he only works because he has to pay the bills. Which, fair enough, I suppose.)

Wait. Did Lizo Man go from a generic British to an Australian accent? 

Guy tries to stage a cop suicide by green glass at Mulder’s hands and…. I’m sorry, this is kind of a fever dream. I can’t even unpack that logic for some bizarre reason. 

Let me unpack that logic for some bizarre reason: 

Psychologist tells Lizardman the story about breaking the curse by getting stabbed in the appendix. 

It involves the realization that the Werelizard stares at himself in the mirror and realizes he’s the monster. 

Does… does that prevent him from committing suicide? The psycologist’s instructions remain murky. 

Lizardman’s fed up with existence. Decides enough’s enough and goes back to the cemetery. 

Mulder walks up and tries to get him to unburden himself. 

Lizardman tries to bait him into cop homicide by green bottle. 

…How in the world did he think that would happen. 

MULDER. LOST. HIS GUN. Which is probably a wink-and-nod by Darin of the good ol’ days when Mulder lost it constantly. 

This Lizard’s gotta know who Mulder is at this point, and that Mulder would track him down and find him. That’s my prediction. 

Mulder agrees to kill Guy Mann. Guy Mann calls him the only nice human he’s ever met. Of course cut back to Mulder’s face as he insists Guy tell him the whole story, first. 

Scully has no idea where Mulder is, does she. 

I knew the psychologist’s “other client thought he was a werewolf” would play into this. Heavy-handedly. 

The stupid, perfectly placed bush when Lizardman woke the next morning. I can’t even be mad at it. 

He took the not-nudist’s clothes, that explains things. 

The dialogue’s also kind of… juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvenile. 

Lizardman leaped over the natural order of human life by talking mad game, and Darin glosses over the details with “humans are the best at that.” Ooooooookay. 

Nope, that doesn’t work for me. Not if Lizardman joined a tech shop and got promoted to manager the next day. 

I feel like Darin hasn’t hung around iphone shops much. 

HE COMMITTED A MURDER BECAUSE HE ATE A COW IN A HAMBURGER. Really.

Was this lizard a vegetarian????? Because animals constantly break their own eating rituals if they’re hungry (deer eating baby birds, rabbits, and even human corpses, for example.) I doubt a creature of that size and strength existed only on vegetation, especially if there were food shortages during the natural course of its life (which happens in the wild.) 

But NITPICK ASIDE, he ate his first cow. 

…Why didn’t he go find a head of lettuce and chow down on it? Then realize he’s missing something, eat the chicken from the salad, then go on a meat-eating binge? That would have been kinda funny. 

Oh, he’s an insectivore. 

So, he’s a meat eater. 

And he... uuuuuuuuuuuuugh--

Dude’s a protein eater via the carcases of other living things, not plants. 

Dude didn’t have consciousness until he woke a man. 

So it wouldn’t have mattered to Dude if he ate a cow, anyway, because he’s a carnivore and humans are omnivores. 

So what gives? 

“No one likes insects. Not even other insects.” SO INSECTS HAVE EMOTIONS, LIKES, AND PREFERENCES. YET, YOU ATE THEM. I don’t see sound reasoning for an ethical or moral stance here, Guy Mann. 

Lizardman spent the rest of the day helplessly watching… porn. Just couldn’t help himself. Uh huh. 

Dude, you were an animal YESTERDAY, with no association to human morays or social etiquette or guidelines or….

OH. That’s how the Scully scene plays into this. 

But then that scene’ll be shot because it’s played for jokes-- males wanting to overexaggerate their knotch count-- rather than a very real reality of animals with zero morals when it comes to their procreation habits. 

Let’s see if I’m right. 

Guys, this would have been funnier and-- there’s that word again-- clever if Guy Mann lived like a caveman for a few days then overheard some humans talk about job, bills, and etc. spiraled, thinking he would be stuck as a half-human forever, and resigned himself to the fate of every other human (through the lens of his lizard brain, heh.) 

It’s not supposed to be taken seriously, I know, but Darin always wrote plausibility into his previous scripts. This one feels like he didn’t try hard enough. 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wow. 

Guy went to a "witch doctor"-- oops, “a psychologist”-- but stopped taking his prescribed meds because “it just clouded my thoughts” TO WHICH MULDER NODS IN UNDERSTANDING. 

Mulder gets it because, as an Oxford educated psychologist, he could diagnose the other psychologist (who shouldn’t be prescribing meds) as a wack job. 

Mulder stopped taking his meds. 

Which is what Scully asked if he’d done in the intro. 

Which means his depression’s gone away without his meds. 

Which means his depression’s either CURED, BOOM, or he never needed meds to begin with. 

Which means Scully misdiagnosed him. 

And left. 

OR Mulder stopped taking them and was on depression med withdrawal in the beginning of this episode, hence his melancholia…? 

‘Tis a mess. 

Only time to be happy as a human is to spend time in the company of a non-human-- YOU’RE AN ANIMAL. YOU’RE NOT A HUMAN. YOU JUST LOOK LIKE ONE FOR TWELVE HOURS A DAY. 

Also, Daggoo. Yup. There he is. Uhuh. 

Scully was robbed of her first dog by an overgrown lizard and robbed from another overgrown lizard in return. 

Daggoo was let out of the motel and ran off, and Mann felt crushing loss and grief (while looking not quite that) then ran into Mulder and Smarty K and ran to the toilet and got pap shot by Mulder and etc. 

(Also, he ran into the werewolf dude; and Mulder knows the urge to “strangle him and eat his flesh” when it comes to villains and their villainy.)

Hokey. That’s how I would describe this episode. Inoffensive, but new Scooby Doo.  

Wait, he threw his clothes off while witnessing the werewolf man eat another man (get it, it looked like animalistic sex) then but had them on again when Mulder ripped open the stall door and took his pants-down shot. 

What. 

Wait, Mulder’s up-to-date with transgender procedures and terms but not? familiar with gay bars? 

What, did he subscribe to a Queer Life email subscription between episodes, or is that too new-fangled? 

This episode doesn’t know what angle it wants to tackle for Clone!Mulder (forgot that nickname temporarily) and instead becomes a mix of everything at different strengths (that also change depending on which scene.) 

HOW did Guy Mann not recognize Mulder after Mulder took a picture of him on the port-a-potty??? And stuck around to ask him some questions??? 

“That was me, actually.” 

“I thought I recognized you!” 

So. He… diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid? 

OR it was a jackalope head on the wall?

No, wait, it wasn’t a jackalope, Guy Mann just misidentified the animal head on the wall-- and he’s “creeped out” by jackalopes ever since a friend got “gored” by them and GET IT, GUYS, THIS ALL LINKS BACK TO THE BASEMENT WHEN MULDER TALKED ABOUT MOTHMEN AND JACKALOPES. 

I swear, Mulder’s just trippin or suffering withdrawals from his meds. 

Scully said, “We have a creature case,” and he went home and dreamed this all up in a slime pit of sweat. 

HIS DEAD FRIEND GEORGE. 

SO THESE LIZARD PEOPLE HAVE NAMES????

THEN WHY’S HIS NAME GUY MANN?????????????????????????????????????

SO, they have friends and eat insects that have some form of consciousness and consider burgers to be cow murder. 

I need to stop thinking seriously about this plot. 

It’s pit stink Mulder thrashing around in his bed, smiling over speedos and peeping tom tunnels and Scully affectionately calling him crazy-- and that makes the most sense, honestly. 

“I think my phone isn’t working right because guys don’t send me pictures of their junk on it.”

More evidence that this was written not by Darin Morgan but by his middle school aged doppelganger, Marin Dorgan, who split from his body during the stress of having to write for the Revival. 

“Ever since I became a human, I can’t help but lie about my sex life.” Stupid. He’d need a Twitter account, first. 

Mulder’s back to doubting because the entire story’s too silly. To be fair, I do like this beat; and it does align (if you squint at it) with his journey out of depression. BUT it is all too silly, so… kinda think Clone!Mulder’s got a point. 

Mulder smiling over learning that Shakespeare called us all ignorant idiots is a nice touch which I shall now spoil: how did Guy Mann know that? Porn? 

“Fox, man, you’ve gotta put me out of my misery!” Get it, Fox Mann, Guy Mann? Animals, GET IT. 

“You wanted to arrest me for something I didn’t do. Who takes advantage like that? I’ll tell you: a human.” That’s the only comedic bit that landed, for me, and even then it was a lip twitch. His contained righteous indignation got through whatever made the rest of this the way it is! WHOO! 

The guy goes stomping off yelling “Monster!” behind him at Mulder to drive his point home, which drives Mulder to drink. 

“Mulder’s the monster, get it, because he doesn’t know what he is and is just willing to use other people for his own selfish ends?” the plot says, affectionately, with a giggle behind its hand. 

This is the scene where he collapses by Kim Manner’s tomb, isn’t it. 

ARE YOU KIDDING, MULDER HAS HIS THEME SONG AS A RINGTONE. 

MULDER’S HIGH, THAT’S IT. HE’S HIGH OR OVERDOSING ON HAPPY DRUGS, THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION. 

Now that I know this is Ken Mulder’s delirium, it’s going to be interesting to draw unauthorized conclusions about his Alice in Wonderland hallucination. 

Aww, look, it’s Kim Manners. 

Mulder’s got his Patriarchy Pants' cheeks right on Kim’s face. 

Me, ten minutes into the Revival: “Maybe I’m just a fool, Scully. Maybe I always have been.” 

Can’t knock that line too much because it is a Mulder thing to think or say. 

And it still fits into my delirium scenario, so. 

Oh, Kumail’s been turned. Didn’t see that coming. The music’s suspenseful, too. That’s cool. 

There’s no way Mulder should figure this out, but he probably will. 

Oh, he didn’t. 

That’s good. 

Also, Scully’s: “Maybe I miss having a dog. And someone to hold my grudges for me,” could apply to her tendency to own dogs but it also might refer to Mulder who she let “curse God for a while” in her stead in IWTB. 

Also, where was THIS scene hiding? It’s really good. 

Ken Mulder’s hobbling, not running, to his car. ‘Kay. 

Wait, Kumail's not a werewolf?

And Scully's got it all handled???? 

Wait, NO, that makes no sense. AND IT’S ALL EXPLAINED AWAY WITH “I’M IMMORTAL” what. 

Scully went to the animal control shelter because she suspected Kumail was the murderer. 

She lingered with her back to Kumail, letting him have home court advantage. 

HE SLIPPED A NOOSE AROUND HER NECK. 

That’s it, she’s doneso. She’s a 5’2” woman that’s as light as a bird, there’s no way she’s toppling a man, let alone one with a noose around her neck and has distance on his side. 

Yes, I know this was because the transgender woman surprised Guy Mann with her punch, but that doesn’t translate to a stunning twist for Scully to also have the upper hand. She doesn’t have enough meat on her bones, and nowhere near the arm length to stop her attacker. 

Did Guy Mann show up and interfere? Help her out in anyway? Did the dogs rush in and tackle him until she could get up? 

IS SCULLY A DOG WHISPERER????? If so, why did Daggoo bite her????????

I will say: Kumail being the murderer really changes that one scene where he was sneaking up behind Mulder. 

And also… the fact that he worked for an animal shelter, since he started with small animals.

WAIT, this is a normal animal control shelter, yes? That’s what Mulder yelled into his phone, anyway. 

But… there were only dogs in the room when Mulder and the officers arrived. 

So. Scully is a dog whisperer, or she tackled Kumail, loosed all the dogs before he got up, and pinned him (impossible) until the cops arrived. I guess. Or the dogs were loose to begin with. 

Oh, and chickens.

Dogs and chickens. 

Dogs. And chickens. And goats. 

(Were ALL the animals loose??????)

Scully, the farm animal whisperer. A trait she must share with her Wyoming son. 

Welp. There goes that scene. 

Scully approached a dangerous suspect twice without backup (says Mulder, who was Kenning it out in the cemetery with the first dangerous suspect… and the second, if you count him running off and nearly getting offed by Kumail without his knowledge); and excuses it by saying Mulder needed “quality time” with his Lizardman. 

“Besides, I’m immortal.” 

That sounds like the prequel to another poor decision tattooed on your back, Scully. 

Mulder’s not soothed by this pronouncement (obviously), but realizes “If Guy’s story was true--” and runs off into the woods. Again. 

And Scully asks the dog if he wants to go home with her. 

And I question. Why a dog. Why that dog. 

You miss dogs but you didn’t have a tie to any particular dog. And this dog bit you. 

Because he’s Plot Relevant Dog. I see. 

“Woah, I’m not a reptile! That’s racist!”

No it’s not you silly, silly reptile with utterly unexplainable human knowledge and reflection. 

Also, another motif of Mulder just standing there watching another guy undress, casually. 

An aspect of Darin’s writing I hadn’t considered: Mulder knows Guy does odd things for a normal human; but also knows this is normal for Guy and just goes with it, for his sake. Like a good psychologist. Like a decent human. 

But also, he has his limits. 

Also, get it, Mulder’s a man outside mankind, too, who just needs to find himself again. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?

“I want to believe,” Mulder says. 

Mulder just needed someone to say they’re glad to have met him, they’re glad to have him in their life. 

So. 

I guess Scully hasn’t said those words yet. 

Guy shakes his hand. 

Mulder watches, stunned, as Guy runs off to hibernate for 10,000 years-- another hallmark of Marin Dorgan’s writing. Ha ha ha, a knee slapper, that one. 

“Likewise,” Mulder whispers, overcome and disbelieving and renewed all in one. 

A nice little heartfelt, cheesy, sincere ending. 

CONCLUSION

What did I just watch? 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[hugmekenobi]

S3: The Bad Batch (10)

Chapter Ten: Identity Crisis

Gif by @dreamswithghosts

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.

Chapter Summary: Emerie discovers the truth of what lies in the vault

Masterlist for S1 and S2

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Brief canon-typical violence and food mention, me making up a rough timeline, Hemlock, threats, kids being imprisoned, medical testing, angst and emotional hurt/comfort, me interpreting Emerie's headspace and more subtle laying the groundwork for a certain character return (not through CX-2)

Word Count: 3K

Author's notes: Sticking very close to the episode here but hope it's still enjoyable and episode 11 is underway!

When Emerie had asked to be promoted to Chief Scientist and fill in the gap created by Nala Se’s confinement, it had felt like a good idea, but now as Dr. Hemlock led her to the vault and began filling her in on Project Necromancer, she was now experiencing a growing sense of apprehension about the whole thing.

“In addition to the assets in the sublevel containment chamber, you will be given access to the vault.” Hemlock opened the doors to the corridor that led to the vault. “The specimens within are now your responsibility. They are vital to this project.” The next set of doors whirred open to the circular room. “And thus, must be handled with the utmost care.”

Emerie took in the plain, white walls but as she glanced from the observation level- made up of another circular corridor and large windows that allowed for constant supervision from her fellow scientist- and examined the tables ahead, her apprehension morphed into horrified shock.

“These particular three were selected because of their high M-count.” Hemlock revealed.

“Why children?” Emerie asked, managing to keep the alarm out of her voice. “Are there not adults that could serve this purpose?”

“There are few adults left with such characteristics. Which is why it is vital we get the woman of Clone Force 99 here.”

Emerie turned her head to him in surprise. “Omega never said that she was-”

“No, she wouldn’t, given the new regime and Omega’s... concern… for others, but a fully realised Jedi would be of great use to us.”

Hemlock led the way around to one of the cells and carried on with briefing. “Children are easier to attain and more agreeable to the subjugations. They’re unaware of why they’re here and what they possess.”

Emerie watched as the droid took a blood sample from one of the children. She swallowed tightly before asking, “If children are easier for this purpose, why do you want her here?”

Hemlock regarded her curiously. “Dr. Karr, I am surprised at you. Surely, you’d know having a such a person in our samples would only better us as scientists. Besides, I have… other uses in mind for that individual.”

Emerie felt a shiver run down her back. She’d seen what happened to the clones who did not follow Hemlock’s orders, “What other-”

“It is no matter right now. With regards to your other concern, I have it on good authority that with Omega here, her cooperation would be ensured, and our project could finally see some positive results.” Hemlock took a breath and continued with his explanation of the project. “As you know, M-count cannot be directly replicated from the source. However, Nala Se knew of another way. Which is why she aided in Omega’s escape. The young clone’s blood is the only binder that proven to be compatible with their DNA to re-create their M-count levels. And that is another reason as to why Omega must be found.”

Emerie could only offer a shallow nod; she didn’t trust herself to speak.

“Testing should proceed as planned. We must be prepared for every possibility once they are recovered.”

“Sir.”

Hemlock walked over to Scorch.

“Hello.”

Emerie glanced down at the high-pitched voice to see one of the children addressing her. “Hello.”

“I like your glasses.”

“Uh, thank you.” Emerie replied, taken aback by the conversation. “What is your name?”

“Dr. Karr?” Hemlock turned as he saw Emerie talking to one of the specimens. “Limit your personal interactions with the specimens. They are scientific assets, nothing more.”

Yes, that was what she was here for. This was what she had wanted. She couldn’t allow herself to get attached or concerned, that was Omega rubbing off on her and she needed to let it go. “Of course, Doctor.”

--

Emerie walked into the room, datapad in front of her face as she let the droid in their take the sample from the next specimen.

“Hello again.”

“Hello, SP-54.” Emerie said professionally. She kept her sights firmly of the information on her screen.

“My name’s Eva. What’s yours?”

She felt some of her resolve slip. “You may refer to me as Dr. Karr.” Emerie replied, a tad shakily.

“What happened to Mistress Nala Se? She hasn’t been back?”

“She is no longer overseeing this project.”

“Why not?”

“That is not your concern.”

“Oh, but she said she’d find out for me.” Eva said dejectedly.

“Find out what?” Emerie asked, properly looking at the young girl now.

“When I’ll be going home. Can you find out for me?”

The sheer innocence and trust behind the question caught her off guard and Emerie felt emotion clog at the back of her throat, “I will look into it.” She managed to say.

“Thank you, Dr. Karr.”

Emerie nodded before she moved onto the next room. “Hello, SP-32.” She brought up the young boy’s information as the droid whirred over to take a blood sample. What she didn’t count on however, was the boy grabbing the datapad out of her grasp and making a break for the door.

An alarm blared around the room and the lights of the room changed to red to signal the breach.

“Sp-32.” Emerie calmly approached the boy as he realised the datapad wasn’t going to work for him.

“Stay away from me!”

“It’s alright.”

The boy bashed against the glass and paid her words no attention, “No! Let me out of here.”

“You’re safe, SP-32.”

“That’s not my name.” He turned around, fear in his eyes. “They said I could go home. I just wanna go home.” He said desperately.

Emerie felt something tug at her heart, but she couldn’t quite place it, it had been a feeling that had been creeping in ever since she’d gotten to know Omega.

He returned to banging against the door but stopped as he saw a trooper walk in.

“Set to stun.” Scorch ordered his troops as they circled to boy. “What’s the situation?” He asked the chief scientist.

“Blasters are not necessary. I have everything under control.” Emerie said definitively but she couldn’t stop the boy in time as he made a dash for the door behind Scorch. “Don’t!” She shouted at the trooper, but it was too late, the boy fell unconscious to the ground.

“Secure him in his room.” Scorch ordered to the two other troopers who carried him away.

“Your actions were extreme, Commander. He’s only a child.” Emerie reprimanded the clone.

“The specimen attempted to escape. I was following protocol.” With that, Scorch left the vault.

Just following protocol? Somehow that didn’t offer Emerie the comfort it might have done before.

--

Emerie watched the droids attend to the unconscious boy and take his sample before she felt a tug at her sleeve.

“Dr. Karr?”

Emerie looked down at the familiar voice. “Yes?”

“Is Jax going to be okay?”

“Jax?”

Eva pointed to the boy.

“He’ll be fine.” Emerie reassured her.

“He’s not going to be in trouble, is he?” Eva asked fretfully.

“No, he’s not in trouble. You can see him tomorrow.” Emerie only hoped what she was saying would be true.

--

The warm afternoon Pabu sun provided some much-needed comfort for the conversation that was about to take place. 

“I’ve thought about it a lot…” Hunter began to say as you all sat at Shep’s table.

You rested a hand on his knee and gave him an encouraging but sad smile.

“And I think the best course of action is to leave Pabu.” Hunter said to you all.

Crosshair removed his toothpick in mild surprise, but he had a feeling something like this would happen.

“What?! No!” Wrecker and Omega both said together.

“We have to.” You said with resigned acceptance.

“Why?” Omega asked, her upset obvious.

“Yeah, we can handle this! We’ve kept you and Omega safe this long.” Wrecker disputed.

“It’s not just us now.” Hunter pointed out gently. “We have to think about the people of Pabu too.”

“If there is a chance to Empire can find us as easily as Ventress could, that puts everyone else here in danger.” You explained. “Shep, Lyana, the regs, and everyone else who came here for a fresh start and to get away from whatever hell the Empire caused them, they’d all be at risk if we stayed here.”

“We’d shelter you all you regardless.” Shep chimed in as he brought out a plate of sushi.

You shot him a grateful smile. “I don’t want to risk their safety like that. And I know you don’t either.” You said to Omega.

“No, of course not.” Omega replied as she understood the bigger picture at play now.

“Believe me, I want to stay but it’s just not viable right now- this is the best way forward. We’ll come back when we figure out why Hemlock is after you and how we can beat him.” Hunter reassured her and the rest of his brothers.

“When do we leave?” Omega asked quietly.

“We’ll start packing up tomorrow.” Hunter said with a heavy sigh.

--

Emerie walked back to the vault, ruminating in her own conflicting thoughts. Her conversation with Nala Se had brought her little comfort. She understood the Kaminoan’s urge to protect Omega but what about the other children? She didn’t know how she was in a position to stop this, no matter what the Nala Se seemed to think.

“Dr. Karr, a word?”

Emerie paused as she heard Dr. Hemlock’s smooth and quiet voice.

“A new specimen will be arriving today. Commander Scorch is departing shortly to retrieve it.”

“Another?” Emerie asked.

“I heard about the earlier incident, so I understand your hesitation.” Hemlock appreciated before he inhaled deeply, “However, this latest acquisition will not be a danger to you.”

It wasn’t the danger to herself that she was worried about. “I would like to accompany the commander.”

Hemlock waved the suggestion away, “That is not necessary.”

“You’ve stated how important these specimens are, Doctor. I would like to ensure they are properly maintained at every stage.” Emerie insisted.

“Sir, Governor Tarkin requests you contact him at once.”

Hemlock turned to the stormtrooper and had to supress his irritation at the interruption before he turned back to Emerie. “Do as you wish, Dr. Karr.”

--

Hemlock put the transmission through as he sat behind his desk, “Governor Tarkin, to what do I owe…” He debated saying ‘pleasure’, but the word would be a lie. “This, uh, summons?”

Tarkin got straight to the point. He didn’t want to have to interact with Hemlock any more than necessary. “Questions have been raised regarding the financial impact your facility is having upon Imperial resources. And now additional funds have been diverted at your request?”

“That is correct. It is for a project that is of personal interest to the Emperor.” Hemlock replied briskly.

“Which is what?”

“Oh, I’m afraid that’s classified.” Hemlock barely managed to conceal the victorious smirk at the glimpse of impatience on the hologram.

“Perhaps there is some assistance I may provide, seeing this is of such importance?” Tarkin offered diplomatically but with an air of contempt.

“Mmm, the funding is all I require. It is worth the expenditure.” Hemlock assured him.

“You had better hope so. If this project fails to yield proper results, it won’t bode well for your operation. Or for you, Doctor.” Tarkin signed off with the warning.

Hemlock gritted his teeth at the threat. Tarkin’s small mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend what he was doing here, none of the bureaucratic Imperial elite could. But his call made it all the more important that his plans came to fruition, so he put a different transmission through. “I require an update.”

“The information you obtained proved accurate. I tracked the Trandoshan and pulled some intel out of her. She gave up the name of a pirate that’s been in contact with the targets.” CX-2 revealed. “I’m searching for her now.”

“The other operatives aren’t ready to join you in the field.”

“I can handle it on my own.”

Hemlock sighed in aggravation, “Can you really? Cause you’ve already failed once. No more mistakes. Do not return without the Jedi and Omega.”

--

“You’re not the usual Imperial they send.” Cad Bane commented as he walked down to stand in front of the woman who arrived at the station.

“I’m here to inspect the specimen. Who I am is none of your concern.” Emerie replied frostily.

“Todo, bring out the kid.”

Emerie watched as the droid brought out a hover-pram from the ship but what was inside filled her with distress.

“Problem?” Bane challenged as he caught her reaction.

“This specimen is younger than I expected.” Emerie looked back to Scorch.

“Then he’ll be less trouble.” Scorch responded coldly.

“I need to test him. For confirmation.” She brought out her kit and found herself hoping that this baby’s M-count would not be high enough. “How many others like this have you captured?” She asked the bounty hunter as she took the blood.

“Let’s just say I’m good at my job.” Bane replied casually.

Emerie saw that the child did indeed have the necessary count. “And where did this child come from?”

Bane narrowed is eyes at her. “Asking questions like that, you give more away than you think.”

“It’s all here Mr. Bane.” Todo said as he took the payment.

“Until next time.” Bane dipped his wide brim hat in farewell before he boarded his ship.

--

“How is he acclimating?” Emerie asked the droid as the baby was set up in another empty room.

“The specimen is in good health.” The droid replied as it stored the latest sample.

Emerie left along with the droid but as she walked through the room, she noticed an empty room. “Where is SP-32?”

“It is standard operating procedure for a subject to be isolated for two rotations as punishment following an escape attempt.” The droid informed her.

Emerie took a moment to process that before she entered Ev, no, SP-54’s room but the upset look on the girl’s face did not escape her. “Is everything alright, SP-54?” She asked as the droid left but she didn’t get a reply immediately, so she tried again. But she knew this would be a turning point she couldn’t go back on. “Eva?” She inquired, keeping her voice kind.

“You lied.” Eva answered gloomily. “You said Jax wouldn’t be in trouble. He just wanted to go home.” She hugged her knees to her chest. “We all wanna go home.”

Emerie didn’t know what words she could offer because the only thing that would truly bring Eva comfort, she couldn’t give her. Instead, she walked out the room and powered down the system for the night.  

--

Emerie processed the latest samples in the lab and scrolled through her datapad where she came across Omega’s file, and it gave her an idea of a small something she could do for Eva. She opened the storage container and took out the hay doll.

--

Emerie watched from the windows above as Eva happily received the toy. She had thought signing on for this job would give her something greater to strive for but now she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t know what mission she was serving anymore.

--

“We missed you at dinner.” You called out as you saw the clone sitting on the sand, the moon casting a beautiful white light on his features, highlighting the look of deep contemplation as Batcher sat loyally by his side.

You greeted the dog as she bounded over to you with a couple affectionate pats before she ran off and began sniffing the area around the cove. You walked over to Hunter and handed him a box of leftovers. “Here, I saved you some.”

“Thank you.” Hunter said with a grateful squeeze of your hand as he took it from you.

“So, what’s going on in that head of yours?” You asked kindly as you sat down next to him. You tucked your knees up and fondly bumped your shoulder against him as you awaited a reply, but he didn’t answer you immediately. The only sound filling the silence was the quite lapping of the waves on the shore. “Hunter?” You asked, more concern seeping into your voice as you sensed his turmoil and saw the conflict behind his brown eyes.

Hunter rubbed a hand across his face, “This place was finally starting to feel like home- for all of us. Giving the order to leave just feels like I’m letting you all down.”

“You’re not.” You assured him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “There are too many unanswered questions and variables to warrant staying right now. None of us want to see Pabu get caught up in our mess.”

Hunter breathed heavily, “I know but we were building something here. I hate that we have to leave it so soon.”

“So do I.” You bit your lip as you contemplated what you were about to say next, “Although, there is another option…” You suggested tentatively into the quiet night.

Hunter subconsciously drew you closer to him and he already knew where you were going with that, “No.”

“But you all could sta-”

“No. And not just because I don’t want you enduring that hell at the Empire’s hands again, but also if you did that, Omega would feel she had to as well.”

That had you contemplating things a lot more.

“We- I- barely got through losing you both once. I don’t want to ever relive that again.” Hunter admitted quietly. Yet, deep down, part of him knew it was still a very real possibility and that’s what scared him the most.

You knew he wasn’t naïve enough to completely rule it out, but you didn’t see the sense in pushing the matter when by all accounts, it didn’t need to be discussed any further- it wasn’t a pleasant thought for you either. Plus, there was already a perfectly viable plan in place. “Well, regardless of what else the galaxy will throw at us, we still have tonight.” You said as you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“We have tonight.” Hunter echoed as he rested his head on top of yours.

Next Chapter>

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @arctrooper69, @dominoeffectsworld, @andreaaxy, @notgonnaedit, @allthingsimagines , @superbookishhufflepuff @jellybeanstacey0519 @nightmonkeysstuff

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

finished the eps so here's some zombies lore and tidbits from the re-animated series:

bonzo and willa have the same shoe size (10 3/4 in men's and 12 3/4 in women's)

bucky loves cool frogs and hates all dogs (except for barky)

willa has been wearing the same boots every day because she became the alpha of their pack while wearing them (they are now destroyed)

bree runs the lost and found department and addison is her secretary

seabrook high has a drama department, a marching band, a water polo team, and a clown club

there are zed, addison, and eliza clones living in a neighboring town

there are alien-specific classes led by a computer robot in the mothership

zed has physical cards with drawings of him and eliza that act as "best friend cards"

bonzo was born on january 28th in 2007

zed and addison regularly use whiteboards to plan stuff

zed has a habit of smooth-talking his way out of and into things (including, but not limited to, getting extra food from lunch ladies, convincing eliza and addie to do things with/for him, and convincing a possessed dae to hold off on destroying the world)

there is a sentient blob that attends seabrook high

bonzo works at bree's family diner which is called grammykin's griddle

wyatt's a february pisces and eliza is a virgo

the werewolves celebrate numerous meat-themed holidays like porksgiving, beefapalooza, and vealentine's day

werewolves also have a great meat hunt that involves one werewolf being picked to hunt an unchecked apex predator in the woods and bring it back for the pack to eat

there are now zombie dogs due to another soda incident

principal lee has a sister who is pregnant (or has a very young baby)

wynter has an uncle named uncle wolfchowski

zed's favorite color is decomp green with light saturation

coach used to be best friends with the solstice slasher that haunts the woods

zombie strength can hold back a moving car

there are many pet sitting services in seabrook (some names include waggedy ann's, be on all four seasons, and harry poopins)

eliza created their universe's version of tik tok called shrimp tok

addison can't wink

moonstone necklaces were first created by a werewolf named wilhelmina lykenlolly

werewolves and sasquatches are century long enemies

eliza and wyatt are vegetarians

zed, wyatt, bree, and eliza play dungeons and dragons together and zed runs the campaign (zoey now also plays with them by the end of the episode)

aliens hatch out of spotted eggs and have a hatch-uation

a-spen is mothership's favorite alien

part 2

[utilitycaster]

Dimension 20's Failed Genre Experiments

(This is the "Has Dimension 20 lost its touch?" post I’ve alluded to; please enjoy some genuine criticism masquerading as a riff on those sorts of articles for other shows.)

Dimension 20's debut and flagship burst onto the scene with a simple and elegant premise. What if a John Hughes movie were set at a high school for D&D adventurers? Its next full length pre-recorded season was the similarly strong urban fantasy The Unsleeping City, which in turn was followed up by the channel’s most ambitious outing yet: the Game of Thrones in Candyland mash-up, A Crown of Candy. 

Widely considered to be a watershed moment for the show, A Crown of Candy explored darker themes on a famously comedic platform, was the first on the channel to have permanent player character deaths, added new mechanics and limited what the players could choose to fit the world to support this more serious tone, and on a structural level, was a welcome departure from the prior rigid alternation between episodes of combat and episodes without. It was filmed prior to the pandemic but went to air in early April 2020, when many livestreamed actual play shows were on pause and even some podcasts were scrambling to figure out remote recording. D20 introduced their talkback show as a way for the cast to hang out remotely and chat about each episode, and Adventuring Party has remained a companion to the main show. The channel had hit its stride.

Its House of the Dragon sidequest, The Ravening War, aired three years later. Despite a complicated reaction to its announcement, it was a well-received outing, but one on what had by that time become a noticeably bumpy road.

Sidequests like The Ravening War are what D20 calls its shorter, 4-10 episode seasons that do not feature the main “Intrepid Heroes” cast in full nor necessarily feature Brennan Lee Mulligan as DM. We've seen everything from the perspective of the villains in both a Lord of the Rings clone (Escape from the Bloodkeep) and a Dracula homage (Coffin Run); to a Regency romance in the Feywild (A Court of Fey and Flowers). In addition to Mercer, Jasmine Bhullar and Gabe Hicks have each run a sidequest, and Aabria Iyengar has run three. And while the Intrepid Heroes' only venture outside D&D so far is the D&D-inspired Star Wars 5e, sidequests have been run in various Kids on Bikes hacks and Hicks' own Mythic system, as their shorter format makes it even easier to experiment with the parodies, pastiches, and mash-ups the channel is known for.

There have however been two notable failed experiments, and their close proximity (both released within the past year) could be a hiccup, or could be a sign that D20’s ambition, while admirable, could use some serious reining in. They are Neverafter and Burrow's End.

Marketed as the horror season, crossed over with fairy tales, Neverafter started out strong. Only three episodes in, there was an unprecedented (for D20) total party kill. The subsequent episode is the zenith of the season, in which each character is brought back, most of them changed and twisted by the experience, playing out an analysis of their role as an archetype within these stories: Sleeping Beauty and the classic roles of The Princess (introducing such NPCs as Cinderella and Snow White), for example; or Puss in Boots as The Trickster.

Unfortunately, the quality dropped soon after. It was revealed that the darkness spreading across the fairytale multiverse was due to the influence of The Authors, and the story began to be one about the concept of stories...while still trying to incorporate not only the plotlines of the fairy tales the main PCs were from, but also an intertwined conflict between the fairies and the princess NPCs. With this, the horror, with a few exceptions, melted away: violence and monsters are standard D&D fare, and when heroes race to save the world and victory seems not only possible but likely, any distinction between horror and a typical D&D heroic fantasy is lost.

It’s not the first overstuffed campaign, but it certainly is the first one that fails to land on several levels. Starstruck Odyssey is similarly chaotic and rushed at times, but it consistently sticks to a broad message of personal autonomy and freedom within late-stage capitalism. Mulligan is famous for his capacity to spin endless dense lore off the cuff, and if it at times overcomplicates the plot of the packed and colorful comedic space adventure, at least it contributes to the baked-in excess of the setting. But Neverafter's postmodern flourishes against a horror backdrop desperately needed an injection of sparseness and silence it never received. 

This is enhanced by the nature of actual play: with a few exceptions, even when filmed and even with the elaborate production values of Dimension 20, it is first and foremost primarily an auditory medium. We only know what is narrated to us. Neverafter did not permit its audience the time and space to fear the unknown. The existential horror of the metanarrative, of being a character doomed to a specific ending, while touched on by some of the cast (particularly Siobhan Thompson’s Sleeping Beauty), took a backseat to models of giant spiders and tales of undead dwarves. The story lacked the room to build real tension, but also failed to adequately create the claustrophobia of being truly trapped within its narrative. It feels more stuffy than unsettling.

Burrow's End is far less airless, but profoundly disjointed. Neverafter thought it knew what it was, but Burrow's End went through multiple identity crises by the halfway mark, and the marketing for the series reflects this.

The initial trailer makes it seem like a cute if dramatic story about a family of stoats - think Redwall, think Wind in the Willows. The first episode was excellent, however, and sold many who had been unimpressed by the trailers on the series, with its well-played setup of the clear Watership Down/Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH parallels with a unique twist in the form of The Blue.

The promotion took a strange turn, however, with the second episode and its infamous bear carcass battle map. It was hyped as uniquely horrifying, with a teaser video posted of the cast shrieking as the map, unseen by the audience, was wheeled past them. This seemed rather cavalier of the channel once the episode was posted, accompanied by a gore content warning covering a period of well over an hour...which was then further undercut by an exquisitely crafted, but ultimately rather tame display of a bear's innards. It was left out on the table during Adventuring Party as well, further reducing the idea of any meaningful shock factor (or any attempt to accommodate those in the audience who were triggered). The combat this map was for was a creative one, and the episode itself high quality, but it furthered the sense that Dimension 20 itself was unsure of what they were trying to get people to watch.

The series continued on with two more excellent episodes as it reached Last Bast, a clearly man-made structure full of thousands of stoats, with a strong dash of the police state. The actors immediately clocking the flaws of this society, but their stoat characters having no similar sense, led to a fascinating tension. However, the Blue (called the Light in Last Blast), previously described as some animating force and driver of magical power, and mysteriously concentrated in the brain of the dead-but-animated bear, was then revealed to be ionizing radiation.

At this point, the details of my own life become relevant. My career is in the field of health physics. I hold a master’s degree in this specialty and have served as a radiation safety officer, though not at a reactor. I don’t think that this background is a requirement to understand the structural issues of this season; but it certainly made me particularly attuned to the flaws.

Before you claim that this is just a show and who cares: In addition to my love of actual play, I am also a fan of comics and all sorts of speculative fiction. I am well aware that Spider-Man’s “radioactive blood” would not realistically grant him spider powers; I know that going into a high radiation field would not create Doctor Manhattan; I know that Superman does not actually have ‘x-ray vision’, and I know that radiation creates neither kaiju nor rad roaches. This is fine. In comics, radiation is a shorthand for “mad science” or “mysterious powers” with a sense of the lethal and the eldritch and the hubristic. The story is not so much about the source of these powers, but rather the great responsibilities they require. Godzilla, meanwhile, is clearly a metaphor for the very real nuclear devastation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and Fallout is an anti-proliferation and anti-war message with nuclear annihilation as the set up for its post-apocalyptic setting. These works understand that radiation is a limited-use plot device, and, wisely, they keep it simple.

Burrow’s End, by placing radiation front and center, has lost the message. The themes of the story are irretrievably muddled: what seems like a tale of family displaced by human intervention now positions a man-made hazardous material as both sinister corruption and divine boon, and engages neither with a fitting narrative of both the pros and cons of technology, nor of human and animal symbiosis. The finale establishes the latter in a rushed cut scene reliant on a single persuasion roll, and the two episodes prior to that meanwhile establish that while the humans first introduced radiation to the ecosystem, the first five stoats were the ones who sought it out and disseminated it and built the police state, and their true nemesis was Phoebe, one of their own. This culminates with Phoebe, the previously unseen fifth of the first five stoats (who have by now already been killed by the heroes), piloting the body of a 20-years-dead human, threatening to somehow cause global radiation contamination as her grand Evil Scheme. Unnecessarily, from a narrative perspective, I might add; this occurs after the final combat has already begun and she is magically controlling two of the party members. They’re already going to kill her. It’s a hat on a hat on a hat, and the humans are incidental.

When I was a child, I was enamored with the sort of stories in which children are sent to another time or place and then return with seemingly no time passing, and at one point excitedly told my mother I had an idea for a story, of what happens back while you’re time traveling. My mother, a fan of speculative fiction herself, and never one to coddle, told me “nothing, honey, that’s the point.” I wonder if something similar happened here; an attempted deconstruction of those radiation-granted superpower tropes, focused so hard on being clever it overshot into something anything but. Other elements of the story - particularly the weak pun of “copper” to hammer home the already obvious theme of population support being the arm of the police - make me think this was indeed an attempt at cleverness that missed the mark.

I am happy to elaborate on the flaws of the science elsewhere but I think the most succinct way to put it is that while the biology and habits of stoats sans radiation has been considered with what seems to be at least a modicum of love and care (their use of pre-existing burrows, Viola’s pregnancy), the radiation science/understanding of recent nuclear history can only be described as abysmally neglectful, in and out of game. They let a Loss of Coolant Accident go on for three days with a remarkably casual attitude? This disaster was sufficient to result in what appears to be an exclusion zone (of which there have been three, ever, in human history; two of which are the immediately recognizable Chernobyl and Fukushima) and yet it isn’t being monitored closely enough for someone to notice that there’s been penned animals next to the building for years (let alone that the building itself is teeming with stoats)? For that matter, they’re opening the site only twenty years later? After the “radiation dust”, apparently present on the fully maintained roads by the reactor, but neither within nor in front of the reactor, just now made 14 people bleed out (not how Acute Radiation Syndrome works; also 14 deaths from ARS in 1982, when the series is set would in fact be an unprecedented disaster. In our world, Chernobyl - which had not yet happened in 1982 -  is the only nuclear accident that exceeds that ARS death toll.)

Radiation becomes an all-purpose plot engine with no internal consistent logic: it kills humans swiftly and brutally (though based on statements by Dr. Tara Steel and the fact that she seems fine in only a hazmat suit - which shields from contamination but will stop neither gamma nor neutron radiation - only via inhalation). But it infects chipmunks and bears with corruptive and bizarre neurological effects, turns wolves into horrifying but loyal hybridized monstrosities, and conveys to stoats not just human intelligence, but mastery of human language, magic spells, and the ability to come back as a revenant through force of will…though it also can immediately kill them, but also extend their lifespans, but also cause them to slowly mutate into wolves (but not through DNA splicing transfer, that would be silly). It kills 14 humans nearly instantly with off-site dust, but another survives a fiery attempted core meltdown with no apparent ill effects.

There is an excellent and thoughtful story about family, generational trauma, and political structures somewhere under here, and the incredible cast does its damndest to sell it, but it is all but lost beneath a sci-fi whodunnit that would make Ed Wood cock a skeptical eyebrow.

Neverafter and Burrow’s End’s respective collapses under the weight of ambition coincide, perhaps unintentionally, with some of the more dubious film editing choices on Dimension 20. Filmed actual play can be visually unexciting, and Dimension 20 has used simple shot/reverse shots, as well as some sound effects (notably for critical hits and fails) throughout its run to break it up. Neverafter, however, is marked by deliberate hisses and glitches, fractured split screens, echoey vocal effects, and nails-on-chalkboard screeches. This did not add to the atmosphere as intended; at best they were irritating and for many made it actively harder to hear key dialogue. Burrow’s End’s editing has been simpler, mostly relying on some, to be fair, well-placed cuts to black and voice distortion to indicate taped or radioed segments; but a key moment - Jaysohn’s potentially fatal rush into radioactive waters - is undercut with a frankly cheesy montage. Others I spoke to compared it to Indian soap operas, 1960s Doctor Who, The Oscars In Memoriam video, and reality show farewell reels. It takes what could be a tense potential character death - something D20 already handles wonderfully with their iconic Box of Doom - and makes it cheap and tacky, particularly jarring given the beautiful and haunting shadow puppet animation the season had previously delivered to convey the stoat creation myths. (And then, when Ava falls into the waters herself saving him, she merely comes back as a revenant with no ill effects. The stakes were never there to begin with in this smoke and mirrors season.)

Praise for Dimension 20 often hinges on its original innovative structure; most actual play shows skew towards more longform storytelling. However, the short format comes with a price. The fixed length of D20 seasons and the elaborate, custom made maps require a deft GM that can guide players to the exact right place without it seeming forced. Threading the needle is harder than it looks; even the otherwise iconic Fantasy High debut season stumbled towards the end when the players were too good at uncovering the mystery, and Mulligan had to place their characters in an inescapable prison in order to pad out a pre-scheduled episode before the finale. Perhaps the strain of this constant need to live up to a reputation as high-concept innovators, rather than simply create something good and cohesive, is beginning to show. The higher production values in Neverafter and Burrow’s End cannot hide their messy plots and confused messages, and indeed only highlight them. One interview said that for Burrow’s End, Iyengar wants the audience to trust her; after Burrow's End, I can’t say I do.

The next Dimension 20 season after Burrow’s End is a long-awaited return home to the flagship: Fantasy High Junior Year. Let’s hope this reminds the channel where they came from, and what magic they are capable of making when they keep it simple.

[welcometo79s]

[repost because I got shadow-banned and I'm back now]

@clonemmunism got me thinking with their post about the war ending and the clones just making very bad fashion choices so here's my thought on what everyone would wear and my rating:

Hunter [4/10]:

Hunter doesn't really care about being fashionable. We got a glimpse of what he would wear in The Bad Batch and I don't think it's very good. He owns a couple of cute scarves but usually he just dresses like a less fashionable Cut Lawquane. And Cut is already pushing it. It's nothing too bad, he just looks like some farmer on Dantooine. No, the bad thing about Hunter is that he literally does not differentiate between clothes he wears going out and clothes he wears practicing knife throwing and juggling with. So most of his stuff has little cuts and tears in it. He also sticks to the type of clothes that Cut gave him, which is the only thing saving him from being a fashion nightmare. He did however try to pick absolutely atrocious clothes for Omega until Echo stepped in. Like he'd attempt to get her a pink shirt with a porg vomiting a rainbow on it and military khakis.

Echo [10/10]:

His outfits are top-notch, he just doesn't dress properly for the seasons. But hey, that's not what we're ranking here. Echo is a crop top guy. Crop tops in summer. Crop tops in winter. And he looks good in them. He wears regular black pants and a variety of casual jackets on top of the crop tops. Sometimes leather jackets, sometimes bomber jackets, sometimes parkas, sometimes open shirts loosely hanging over the tops. Gets matching accessories and high quality boots for his outfits too. Ends up getting himself a belly button piercing. Fashion icon.

Tech [6/10]:

He only has one outfit and it's beige suit pants and a white shirt that's stuffed into the pants. He owns multiple duplicates of the pants and the shirt. Leather shoes. The only thing he switches out about the outfit is that he wears a variety of funky bow ties.

Wrecker [4/10]:

I'm sure there's people on here who found Wrecker's beekeeper outfit from the Saleucami episode cute but it's not very fashionable, nor are the rest of his clothes. Fisherman hats. Crocs. The "my 50 year old dad on the balcony" shoes (those cork sandals). Ponchos and pants that don't fit together color-wise. Sooo many tie dye shirts. Those jeans fabric shorts with lots of cuts in them. The very short ones. Very rarely an elegant evening gown he looks really good in. That gets him an extra point.

Crosshair [5/10]:

He's the Hot Topic Brigade. He has a style and he sticks to it. Some people like it and some don't. Almost always wears a leather jacket. Buys all his clothes at the Star Wars equivalent of Hot Topic.

Fives [7/10]:

Usually wears black jeans and some black t-shirt with printed words on it. Sneakers. Jeans jackets, sometimes with fur. His outfits are good but he wears some of the most atrocious shirts known to mankind. On a good day you get "Viva la Clonevolution", "I'm a Republic War Crime" or "Enemy of the State". On worse days he might wear something that says "Sparkle on you crazy doggo!", "I eat cement", "I can't fucking do be do be do it anymore" (all real shirts by the way) or "Call me the Uwunator". The otherwise completely normal, nice looking outfit adds to the insanity. Sometimes Echo pretends he doesn't know him. It's the fact that Fives does this on purpose that really gets Echo.

Rex [1/10]:

Listen. The Bad Batch and Fives have the privilege of having Echo to be the damage control for their fashion choices. Now we're getting into the bad territory. Rex has so many of these white tank tops that you can see his nipples through. Sometimes there's hot sauce stains on them. He also has a fuzzy jacket that Fives got him as a joke. Rex does not know it was supposed to be a joke. At this point Fives is too intimidated to correct him. He wears light shorts that some rich kid would wear to the golf course under the tank tops. And cowboy boots. Also huge elegant statement necklaces on top of this. And that one stupid fisher hat that says "rexcellent" on it.

Hardcase [2/10]:

Listen the only reason Hardcase has more points than Rex is that Hardcase doesn't want to look fashionable, Hardcase wants to look fun and that he does. He joins Fives in the cringe t-shirt extravaganza. Would wear the ugly pink porg shirt that Hunter wanted to get for Omega. See-through jackets. Glittery heart sunglasses. Glittery silver disco pants that get wider at the bottom. Rainbow bracelets that work like rattles. He annoys everyone around him by shaking his hands to his "improv gospel". Red leather boots that go up to his thighs. Sometimes he wears them under the disco pants, sometimes over them. Fives loves his outfits. He's the only one. Sometimes Hardcase tries out a variety of colorful wigs.

Tup [9/10]:

He looks so cute. So many people hit on him. Lets his hair grow a little longer and starts wearing half-buns. Also a crop top guy, just a little shy about it at first. Wears earrings and looks really nice with them. Has delicate wrist tattoos, maybe some branches with flowers wrapping around his arms. Otherwise simple, normal pants and sneakers.

Jesse [3/10]:

Tup and Fives are carrying the 501st in terms of fashion. The rest are all fashion don'ts. Jesse is no exception. He also wears crop tops but his don't have sleeves or straps. It's just a strapless bandeau top hanging over his pecs. On top of that? Baggy oversized jacket with a comical amount of pockets that he always stuffs full of things. He's been stopped multiple times by the Coruscant Guard and searched as a suspect for being a spice dealer. He just has his pockets stuffed full of candy though. Baggy pants with equally as many pockets fading from blue into purple into red. The jacket is a dark green. Sparkly golden dance slippers.

Dogma [1/10]:

Big sun hats. Very tight leather pants that end just below his crotch area and then restart at the knee. The pants have two parts basically. The two parts are not connected. See-through sneakers. Frilly white shirts that some 18th century vampire would wear. Tie with little loth cats on it. All of this in combination btw.

Fox [10/10]:

I can do this in one sentence, look up "dark academia outfit men" on Pinterest and you get Fox's style.

Mayday [0/10]:

His isn't even an outfit, it's just a bunch of fabrics he bought just like that in the market and somehow wrapped himself in them. There's no shirt, pants, jacket or anything like that, they're just pieces of fabric wrapped around his body like towels. One of them he wears as a scarf. On a good day he looks like some type of monk. On a bad day he just looks like a mess.

Howzer [3/10]:

You know that outfit Sportacus wears in LazyTown? That's his style. He wears things looking similar to that.