#clive a smith

[nerds-yearbook]

On December 24, 1977, three aliens and their probe visited Earth to find out the meaning of the Bethlehem star. Unfortunately, they were almost 2000 years too late. They met up with a boy named Peter and his pet goose who attempted to explain the true meaning of Christmas. ("A Cosmic Christmas" Cartoon TV Event)

[oliverscarlin]

Clive Smith - Double:Single (1998)

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Rock & Rule (1983)

[fukutomichi]

Game of Thrones / S06.Ep07 - The Broken Man House of the Dragon / S02.Ep07 - The Red Sowing "Other houses chose dragons, krakens and lions for their for their sigils. We Tullys took the trout, that most terrifying of fish, especially when it leaps out of the water. I suppose you don't have many options when you live in the Riverlands."

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Dogs

Clive Barker: now everyone i want you all to welcome a real scary story by dodie smith Poe: um clive Poe: is this really appropriate Barker: oh yeah trust me this is gonna be REAL scary Barker: for dean Poe: are you doing this to torment dean Barker: whaaaat Barker: i would never

Dodie Smith: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the woman who kidnaps dogs Dean Koontz: what?! Koontz: you guys Koontz: you know I like scary stories Koontz: but you didn't tell me it was gonna be THIS scary

Barker: ahh poor dean, is this too much for you? Barker: i guess you could just go to bed and leave this one for the big kids Koontz: n-no Koontz: no i can take it King: that's the spirit dean King: you can do it

Dodie Smith: so there's this woman who kidnaps dogs Koontz: that's fine, i can handle this Smith: because she wants to skin them for a coat Koontz: guysssss Koontz: guyssss i hate thisss Barker: ah ha ha Poe: oh really clive this is too much

Smith: so the important thing is there's this guy mr dearly Smith: now the government lets him live tax free for life cuz he solved a really hard math problem King: King: uh King: i don't think that's the way that works

Smith: no no that's legit i checked Smith: that's how we do it in the UK King: King: clive? Barker: That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about math to dispute it

Smith: so anyway mr dearly marries this woman Smith: and his dog marries her dog Smith: also they both have nannies Koontz: do the nannies also get married? Smith: haha of course not dean they're both ladies Smith: nanny butch and nanny femme are just really good platonic friends

Smith: but there's a problem Smith: the dearlys adopt ANOTHER dalmatian, perdita Smith: and this dog Smith: is NOT married Barker: and that's a problem huh? Smith: OF COURSE IT'S A PROBLEM Smith: you can't just have this dog slutting it up around town!

Smith: so the married dogs, pongo and missus, go on a merry adventure to save their puppies from the insane woman who wants to skin them for a coat Smith: and when the adventure is over Smith: they need to buy a bigger house to home all their 97 puppies

Smith: luckily mr dearly solved another problem to help the government pay its taxes Poe: wait why does the government have to pay taxes Smith: oh we do things differently in the UK Poe: yeah, evidently

Smith: perdita's original owners come back Smith: and the dearlys are afraid that they'll want perdita back Smith: but they're all "oh we didn't actually like her all that much, you can keep her" Koontz: wait someone doesn't like a dog? Koontz: this is breaking my immersion

Smith: but then some other people come by and they have a dog too Smith: and it turns out that this is perdita's dog husband! Smith: and these people are all "oh, i guess you can have this dog" Smith: "you know, since they're already dog married"

Smith: oh also the dearlys get a cat Smith: the cat also gets married Barker: christ why are all these animals getting married Smith: what, you want them living in sin? Koontz: yeah clive you want them living in sin?? Barker: i just Koontz: that would be immoral clive!!! Barker:

Smith: anyway then everyone is matched up in a nice monogamous, hetero-sex pair Smith: just the way it should be! Piers Anthony: yeah yeah now THAT'S the way you end a story!

[ironmaidengifs]

IRON MAIDEN - THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST (1982)

[imgonnagetkilledbynutstink]

This genre of dude has be in a chokehold every time

[cinematicjourney]

Gosford Park (2001) | dir. Robert Altman

[nightisthenotion]

Iron Maiden in Tokyo, 1982

[missinglinksblog]

Clive Smith (b.1976) British artist.

[secretsofscythes]

on homesickness

Clive Smith, Artist / Ian Cumberland, Distance I / Miriam Adeney, Kingdom Without Borders / Dir. Andrei Tarkovsky, The Sacrifice (1986) / Pascal Mercier, Train to Lisbon / Malcom Liepke, Repose / Margaret Randall, So Many Rooms Has A House But One Roof / Dir. Damien Chazelle, Whiplash (2014)

[dickinson-devotee]

Bruce's first photoshoot with Iron Maiden — 1981

[vikingsbifrost]

[scenesandscreens]

NIGHTBREED (1990)

Director - Clive Barker, Cinematography - Robin Vidgeon

"Everything is true. God's an Astronaut. Oz is Over the Rainbow, and Midian is where the monsters live... And you came to die."

[rearte2]

by Clive Smith, 1998

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Physical Fitness

[at the beach] Sonia Greene: oh howard this was such a lovely idea! Greene: a romantic seaside picnic and just the two of us! Greene: and we've got your favorite food right here - untoasted white bread! Greene: isn't this nice? HP Lovecraft: [sweats, stares at ocean] right sure

HP Lovecraft: Hey! Quit kicking sand in our faces! Sonia Greene: that man is the worst nuisance on the beach! Aleister Crowley: [grabbing Lovecraft] listen here, I'd smash your face, only you're so skinny you might dry up and blow away!

Crowley: [to greene, as he manhandles lovecraft] look babe, why don't you drop that zero and get with the hero Crowley: i'll show you how a real man kicks sand in people's faces! Crowley: THE GREAT BEAST!!! DO AS THOU WILLT!!!!

Lovecraft: The big bully! I'll get even some day! Greene: oh don't let it bother you, little boy Greene: i'll fix you up a nice big meal, put some meat on those bones Lovecraft: and that'll help me build muscle? Greene: [sweats] um muscle? um sure yeah muscle

Poe: howard, you need to stop letting aleister pick on you Lovecraft: but he's twice my size! he's all buff cuz of all the mountain climbing! Poe: you could start working out? Lovecraft: you mean physical labor? Lovecraft: sport?! Lovecraft: [sweats] like a common cornishman?!?

Poe: you should try it Poe: a good regimen of rowing and swimming helped me build mass Barker: oh come on edgar Poe: no really! Poe: [removes shirt, revealing he is super swole] Barker: Barker: oh right Barker: right i forgot about that

Mary Shelley: listen up nerd you don't need exercise Shelley: what you need is one of these [flips switchblade] Poe: oh come on mary, what if he gets attacked when he doesn't have knife on him? Shelley: dunno, that's never come up

Shelley: next time aleister gives you shit, you give him one of these [pantomimes shivving] Poe: mary, violence never solved anything Shelley: it does if you're good at it Poe: Barker: ah ha ha she's got you there edgar

Lovecraft: Darn it! I'm sick and tired of being a scarecrow! William Hope Hodgson says he can give me a real body. all right! i'll gamble a stamp and get his free book Lovecraft: i'll just not eat this week to afford the stamp

William Hope Hodgson: are you "fed up" with seeing the huskies walk off with the best of everything? Hodgson: sick and tired of being soft, frail, skinny or flabby? Hodgson: i know because i myself was once a puny 97 pound "runt" Hodgson: today, I am two separate gorillas

Hodgson: give me 5 weeks and my body building plan will turn YOU into the bronzed adonis you were meant to be Hodgson: through a dynamic combination of cardiovascular training, lifting big kegs, and standing in the desert while getting your balls tanned by an ultraviolet machine

Lovecraft: wow, how's you get so buff?? Hodgson: from constant brawling during my navy days Lovecraft: w-wait Lovecraft: you're a sailor?? Hodgson: yeah you should know from my popular lecture series about how much the navy fuckin sucks ass Lovecraft: [sweats]

Hodgson: ugh, i tell you Hodgson: it's just impossible to pay the bills with pseudoscience fitness programs catering to mens' insecurities Hodgson: i'm gonna pivot to weird fiction instead Hodgson: that's where the big money is

Hodgson: what if a bunch of pig men attacked a big house Smith: [on phone] hey clark ashton? it's me! your cousin! marvin smith! Smith: you know that new horror genre you're been looking for? Smith: well, listen to this! [aims phone at hodgson]