#clique six

[partiallypearl]

There is nothing more exciting than a room full of people. - Fleabag, S2E03.

[bullworths-weird-art-kid]

across the spiderverse is coming out soon should I flesh out my spiderman/bully au. should i

[supercantaloupe]

i just remembered this photo i took at an honors band rehearsal a few years ago and i don't think anything else sums sums up what doing honors band is like better than this

[stonebutchery]

Note: Percy Jackson, Warriors, etc. also includes subsequent spinoffs like the Heroes of Olympus, Kane Chronicles, Seekers, Bravelands, etc...

[evergone]

Lonely

Theodore Nott x Legilimens! reader

Warnings: Swearing.

Description: The reader has no friends until destiny (in the form of a boy named Theodore Nott) does everything to make her feel like she belongs.

In your first year, you were put in a dorm by yourself. You heard so many times that this was a gift — a sign of your good fortune, Professor Trelawney said — as everyone else in your year group had to share with someone else, but you, the introvert you were, were left to your own devices. Despite these assumptions, you quickly discovered that sharing a dorm was central to establishing friendships, and you spent the vast majority of your high school life friendless and alone.

At times, your boredom and your loneliness were so all-encompassing that you would read the minds of the first years who you knew wouldn’t be capable of sensing the imposition upon their thoughts. None of them thought of much. The boys were preoccupied with daydreams of girls and music (most of them were very into hip-hop as was the popular culture of the nineties), and the girls were nearly all stressing about parties and school work.

You were as much at ease with your situation as one could possibly be. You were of the mindset that if there was nothing you could do about it, why bother? Everyone had their cliques, their friends, and you were just the one to be left out. Your only goal was to get through the remaining year, then you would leave school, rent a house somewhere obscure, become a writer or an archaeologist or something else fun, and start your life over again. But it appeared that destiny had other plans.

Destiny, that supreme, omniscient, omnipotent concept that dwindled above and twisted within the interactions of all peoples, came to you in a free period you were spending in the library. The period before had been Charms, but that was of no consequence, neither was the fact that you had no more classes until later that night when you would make the journey to the Astronomy tower. You were sitting at a desk in the far left corner of the library, tucked between the pages of a number of books written by Z-named authors of some incredibly niche portion of history when Madam Pince’s high-pitched and troubled voice disturbed your rather unproductive attempts to finish your homework.

Ever bored, and hardly ever entertained, you leant to the side to see around the long bookcase. To your surprise, your eyes immediately met with a pair of blue ones. The irises were mere spots lost in the oceans of colour and they darted between you and Madam Pince, desperate for assistance. Behind those eyes, you could hear his mind asking for your help. If you was slightly smarter, you would’ve avoided this person’s gaze altogether and returned to your work.

“Madam Pince,” you said before allowing yourself a moment to think, and the frustrated librarian’s head turned to you in owl-like frustration, “Is everything okay?”

“Not at all,” she said, her voice an angry whisper, “Mr Nott should be in class, instead, he’s here violating my books!”

You glanced at the owner of the eyes. The green lining of his robe told you he was from your house, so you knew him even if only from afar. He hung out with the big group of your housemates most of the time, but you’d observed that he often sat by himself in the common room and the others intruded on his personal time. He was tall — probably six feet or so — and thin, with hair that was darker than blond, but most definitely not as dark as some of his friends’ hair. In the traditional sense, he was handsome, but you’d heard him speak in class before, and his voice bore an awkward intonation as if to speak was to curse which made him seem almost as nerdy as yourself. Despite this, every movement he made seemed elegant no matter his emotion, this was so inherent of a feature that even in that moment — when he was so clearly itching to turn and run — he was like a swan. His name was Theodore Nott, and you’d never spoken to him before.

“He’s supposed to be helping me with my homework,” you blurted out and Madam Pince quirked a pencilled-on eyebrow, “You know I’m terrible with, uh, Ancient Runes.” You both had that class together.

“Yeah,” nodded Theo as he stepped around her and stood by your side, “The professor said it was okay, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”

“As am I,” she frowned, “Tell her not to let this happen again.”

“Yes, Madam.”

With an irritated hum, she left the two of you alone. Theo turned to face you once she was out of earshot, and let out a sigh of relief before sitting down on the edge of the desk you were at.

“You’re in Slytherin,” he said obviously, “What year?”

You sucked in a breath of air, “Sixth. Yours.”

“Oh.”

His brain exploded with a million thoughts at once, his conscious and subconscious fighting for dominance. You could hear the embarrassment as he reprimanded himself for not knowing, and the confusion as he searched his memories for some sign that he had, in fact, seen you before.

“We have Potions together, and Astronomy, and Divination, and Ancient Runes, and… most of our classes, actually.” You shrugged without a care.

Theo cringed, “Sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed you before.”

“I don’t really make my presence known,” you said, “So don’t worry about it.”

“I’m Theodore Nott,” he introduced himself, hand outstretched towards you, “What’s your name? I don’t want to make the same mistake next time.”

“Y/n L/n,” you said and shook his hand. It was soft and had no callouses at all.

“I best be off, I’m missing Arithmancy.”

“Boring.”

“You’re telling me,” he chuckled and left the library.

Over the course of that afternoon, you were unable to tear your mind away from Theo, and none of your homework was completed as a result. You didn’t go to dinner in the Great Hall. Your mind was much too preoccupied to eat.

At eleven-thirty, your alarm sounded, and you washed your face in preparation for Astronomy. Professor Sinistra demanded that all her students wore their uniforms for her classes, even if said classes were at midnight, but there wasn’t a single person who ever did that other than Hermione Granger. Everyone else tended to pull their robes overtop their pyjamas and call it a day, yourself included.

The lesson wasn’t all that interesting as Sinistra had the class chart some stars for the whole hour. However, you barely managed to get anything done because you were so distracted by Theo who was sitting peacefully at the opposite side of the tower amongst his friends. Including Theo, there were five of them (you didn’t include Crabbe and Goyle, who you always thought were less friends than goons, or Millicent Bulstrode or Tracey Davis, both of whom you knew were periodically hated by the others). Two girls, three boys.

Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, and finally, Theo. At seventeen, his hair was a mostly consistent length of woody brown curls that sat fluffily on his head — if anything it was maybe a bit shorter on the sides. His eyebrows were thick as they always were, and in that particular Astronomy lesson, they were hard pressed against the tips of his long eyelashes that seemed almost too feminine to belong to him. By far the most intriguing and attractive aspect of Theo was, of course, the prominent mole on his left cheek that stole your attention away from a tight-lipped smile he had thrown your way.

Your immediate reaction was to blush and avert your eyes, but upon glancing back and noticing he was still staring, you offered him a short wave. He nodded in response before turning to Draco and saying something too far away for you to hear.

The next morning, or, perhaps, later that morning is the right expression, you went to breakfast in the Great Hall. Not having eaten dinner the night prior had left you so completely starving. You could’ve eaten a pegasus. You sat down on the edge of the Slytherin table by yourself, and loaded a plate with two eggs, about five slices of bacon (it very well could have been more, your memory isn’t perfect), a piece of toast, and a spoonful of baked beans.

“Where are all your friends?”

You looked up to see Theo standing over you chewing on the end of a breadstick.

“Why do you ask?” you questioned.

“Because you’re sitting here by yourself and it looks a bit pathetic, L/n,” laughed Theo teasingly.

“I don’t really have any friends.”

“Oh,” said Theo, “Sorry I asked.”

You shrugged, and as he glanced to the middle of the table you shoved as much of the baked beans into your mouth as possible, and quickly swallowed them. Merlin’s beard, you were so embarrassed.

“Give me a sec,” he said absentmindedly and you almost thought to use your Legilimency on him, “I’ll be right back.”

He placed his breadstick in front of you as if it were a deposit meant to reassure you that he’d be back, but you weren’t fazed either way. You watched as he jogged over to his group of friends and started chatting with them, but never sat down. With his right hand, he motioned back at you, and you glanced away as the rest of them turned to get a good look at you. Suddenly, you were concerned about how well your makeup was applied, and if your uniform looked good, and if there was still too much food on your plate. And then, all of them stood up with their plates, and followed Theo over to sit around you.

Most of them sat on the other side of the table, but Theo sat next to you, and Blaise by his other side. He introduced you to everyone: Goyle, Crabbe, Draco, Pansy, Daphne, Blaise, himself (“but you know me already,” he’d joked).

“It’s crazy to think we don’t know you despite being in the same house as you for the past six years,” said Daphne and Pansy elbowed her in the waist, sending her a death glare.

“Excuse her,” Pansy smiled awkwardly, “She’s a bitch.”

Your ears tickled at the word. You weren’t used to people calling those they were friends with such vulgar names… You weren’t used to the idea of friends at all.

Draco started rattling off about half-bloods and “that darn Potter,” spurring his friends into a rather heated conversation. They laughed and cackled loudly at each other, entirely easy around you as if it didn’t matter at all that they didn’t know you.

“Is this okay?” Theo asked you in a whisper once the group had moved on to another topic of conversation.

“Yes, this is nice,” you responded with a blush over your cheeks as you tried not to smile, “I don’t remember the last time I spoke to so many people.”

Theo’s eyes softened, glazed with a thin layer of water that informed you of his empathy. He felt your loneliness as if it was his own. The image of a young version of himself locked in his bedroom, wailing for his long deceased mother, flashed in his memories and seeped into your brain. An involuntary consequence of your extraordinary Legilimency talent.

When Saturday finally arrived, you slept in the whole morning. You only awoke at the sound of a knock on your door followed by a series of laughter at ten o’clock. You rolled out of bed, and for a moment stopped in horror of your hair in front of the mirror to quickly tie it up, and then opened the door.

You were surprised to see Pansy and Daphne there, but even more so when Daphne asked, “It’s Hogsmeade day, why aren’t you ready?”

“Huh?” You said, squinting at the light of the hallway.

“Theo sent us up to grab you, get some clothes on and let’s go,” said Pansy as she pushed past you and slipped into your room, Daphne hot on her heel, “Merlin’s beard, there’s absolutely nothing in here.”

“Yeah, uh, I’ve got it all to myself,” you muttered.

“Oh, that’s got to be terribly boring,” said Pansy.

Both of the girls made themselves at home as they rummaged through your drawers looking for something nice to wear. They were both dressed very well themselves, and it made you a little self-conscious to think they were going to see all your cheap clothes.

Pansy threw a sheer white shirt you didn’t know you had and a pair of bootleg jeans onto your bed while Daphne kicked over some matching joggers and a big white handbag you’d stolen from your mother.

“It is terribly boring,” you said.

As the three of you descended the stairs (after you got dressed, of course), you could already hear the sounds of masculine voices teetering on yelling at one another. One of them you knew to be Theo’s, and while you weren’t particularly familiar with them, you were inclined to assume the other two voices were Draco and Blaise. At the bottom step out of the girls’ dormitory hallway, you were proven correct when you saw them bickering like old men at a weekend golf tournament.

Draco was the first to notice the three of you, and his grey eyes lit up at the sight, “L/n, come settle an argument for us.”

You walked to join the small group and stood beside Theo, your handbag held meekly between your fingers, the nails of which had magenta paint flaking off them.

“Your mate Theo here—” Draco gestured to him with an uninterested hand, and you nearly laughed at the idea that Theo was your mate more than he was any of the others’— “Thinks that we ought to have a Legilimens registry like we have for Animagi. Frankly, I think it’s absolutely blasphemous that we even have one for Animagi; let them run wild, I say! What are your thoughts? Don’t mind the coincidental pun.”

“I’m afraid I’m a bit biased in this conversation,” you spoke quietly.

“How do you mean?”

The faces of the group stared at you with raised brows, and eyes that glistened with interest, and you were red from the attention.

“Well, I’m a Legilimens,” you admitted, “So, I’d have to disagree with you, Theo, for my own sake.”

“Are you really?” Theo asked to break the silence, and you nodded shyly.

“That’s so cool!” Daphne all but squealed, “What number am I thinking of?”

“Seven.”

She brightened with delight, and slapped Pansy’s arm, encouraging her to try your magic out like a little game. Pansy did just that, and you ended up going around the whole group, describing what they were thinking of. Eight. Twelve. Bakery. Seven. And Theo was questioning why you weren’t already on the way to Hogsmeade.

With that final thought, they grew disillusioned by the game, and you began the walk to Hogsmeade.

You’d never been into town with other people before, not that you went much at all. You usually stayed in your room, or wandered the halls, towering over the first and second years who weren’t allowed to go on weekend Hogsmeade trips yet. But there you were, forming one kink in a string of knots engaging in stimulating conversation about the current condition of the world, and even boring conversation about the homework for Defense Against the Dark Arts which, to you, seemed so thrilling even if only for the fact that it was verbal discourse in some form. You’d forgotten what it was to converse with others.

“Is there anywhere you need to go once we get there?” said Theo once you were nearing the end of the path and closing in on the town.

“I would have been awake before Daphne and Pansy got to my room if I planned to go anywhere today,” you joked and he smiled, “If you don’t mind, I might just go wherever you go.”

All he offered in response was a hum, and it left you thinking that you’d somehow made the air around you awkward. You’d later come to learn that he was just like that, never much of a talker if he thought the situation didn’t call for it.

Almost instantly after you passed sign that read ‘Welcome to Hogsmeade,’ the group dispersed, and Theo and yourself were left to do as you pleased.

Your companion, it seemed, didn’t have much he wanted to do either, so he led you to the Three Broomsticks. Kindly, he offered to pay for a butterbeer or two, but you didn’t think you were close enough for that, so you humbly told him it was alright. You sat in relative silence until our drinks arrived when Theo struck up some conversation.

“What have you been doing all these years by yourself, L/n?” He asked.

“I don’t know… Stuff…”

Theo laughed, and you laughed along with him. Your mind was frazzled by the alcohol, which kept refilling itself as you chatted on, and every so often you found thoughts that didn’t belong to you creeping into your mind, but you couldn’t place who they belonged to. It was just the odd word — sad, or pretty, or damned, or Y/n.

“Nott, are you and Malfoy good friends?” You asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

“You seem to argue quite a bit.”

“He’s just like that,” said Theo, “Likes to start shit for no reason, that one.”

You giggled, and he grinned happily. Another person’s thoughts seeped into yours once again, that time a full sentence: ‘I love her laugh.’

The bell that hung over the entrance to the Three Broomsticks jingled, and though you couldn’t see it behind you, you watched as Theo’s expression morphed into one of guilt. You turned over your shoulder, and made out the figures of the four people who had come with you. Each of them were wearing a disappointed look on their faces.

“What in the name of Merlin are you two doing?” asked Pansy, her tone equal parts concerned and amused.

“Nothing,” said Theo.

“Yeah, if ‘nothing’ is code for drinking all day,” said Blaise, “Snape’s gonna have your asses for this.”

The others guided yourself and Theo back to the castle. Your hand was attached to Pansy’s forearm, Theo’s arm was slung over Draco’s shoulder. By the time you reached the Slytherin common room, You were sober enough to move on your own, and thus, started your way up to your dorm.

“Where are you going?” Theo asked curiously. He was far away enough that you couldn’t smell his breath which stunk like the vomit he’d expelled from his body halfway through the walk back.

“My room,” you said.

“No, no, no.” He shook his head and then closed his eyes from the dizziness. “It’s sleepover night. You have to come to our dorm, I made room for you on my bed.”

“I used to sleep there because he’s got the best mattress out of the three of them, but we figured you might prefer to sleep beside him than Blaise,” Daphne explained.

“Oh,” you breathed, “Do I need to contribute anything?”

You hadn’t had a sleepover before. You didn’t know the proper protocol. You assumed one would need to bring at least their pyjamas and a pillow, maybe some sweets of some kind to share. But Theo shook his head, and you were in the boys’ room before you knew what was happening.

The boys’ dorm room was the opposite of yours. So exquisitely full, and intricately messy. The three beds were all the same size as yours with dark green bed hangings, and each about a metre apart.

Closest to the door and to their small shared bathroom was Theo’s bed. On the right, beside the door to the bathroom, he had a tower of books that acted as a wall. His sheets were black, but his pillows and blanket cover were a dark oceanic blue-green. There wasn’t much room, but you spied a large mess under his bed which you assumed was what he’d removed from the bed to make space. On his bedside table sat a small lamp that provided the only light in the room before Daphne declared it was far too ‘dark and gloomy’ and turned on the central light.

On the floor, directly under the light, there was a large medieval-style rug that bore our house crest, and the others sat on it lazily, ushering you over.

“I need a smoke,” said Draco, and he walked over to the window where the ashtray was.

“Me too,” said Theo as he also moved to the window, “You want one, L/n?”

“I’ve never smoked before.”

“Then I shouldn’t get you in the habit,” he smiled, “It is such a terrible habit to have. Costs more than it’s worth.”

He pulled a box of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to Draco, and they both lit them with their wands.

“Does it taste nice?” You asked.

“Not particularly,” said Theo.

“Why do you do it then?”

“You’re so curious, L/n,” Draco teased.

Theo playfully slapped him on the chest, “Leave her alone,” he said, and then turned to you, “I’m an addict.”

“That’s got to be bad for your lungs, Nott,” you frowned, suddenly concerned.

“Don’t you worry about him,” said Pansy, a knowing smirk on her lips that told you she was well aware you’d continue worrying.

The night went on much shorter than you wished for it to. You’d hoped, perhaps too eagerly, that none of you would ever sleep. Far too much did you enjoy being awake with those people who you’d met too late in yout life. You were truly happy to have met them because for all the simple joys you’d managed to discover in your time alone, none were half as happy as those grand joys you found with them

You all took turns getting changed in the small bathroom (Theo lent you a shirt to wear), then you all slid into our respective beds. You were nervous about sleeping beside Theo because, in truth, you didn’t really know him. But he placed a pillow between you, and only faced you for a moment — a moment in which there was a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decipher, a moment in which you attempted to read his mind all too late — and then he kissed his fingers, and he touched them to your head, and he turned the other way.

“Did you sleep well?” Theo said once he noticed you were awake the next morning.

“I’ve never slept beside someone before,” you explained nervously, “I think it was a decent experience. I hope I didn’t move around too much.”

“Not at all, L/n,” he said.

A hum escaped your mouth, and you were acutely aware that Theo was watching you as you stared up at the roof of his room. Painted on it, Sistine Chapel-style, was a beautiful lush green forest.

“L/n. It’s so formal to call you by your surname.” Theo let out a disapproving tut.

“I call you by yours?” You said as you looked at him from the corner of your eye.

“You’re the only one who does.”

“It’s your name!” You raised your voice slightly before lowering it again so as to not wake any of the others up. “What else am I supposed to call you?”

“Theo,” he said, “That’s what everyone calls me.”

“And what false-name shall I bear, then?”

He chuckled quietly as he finally sat up. He raised his long arms in a stretch that exposed the bottom of his stomach and his V-line, and you glanced away until he returned his arms down to a cross in front of his chest. You took notice of his hair, which was awfully messy in the morning, and you thought he should get his hands on a bonnet to take care of it, but then you thought he probably shouldn’t. A silk pillow would’ve done him wonders, though.

“A nickname for Y/n,” said Theo, “How about Y/n/n?”

“I suppose that will do,” you said as nonchalantly as possible, but inside you were screaming with excitement. A nickname! You’d never had a nickname before.

“Oh, you suppose, do you?” he teased.

Your amused smile betrayed your insincere attempt at a pout, “Don’t make fun of me.”

“Don’t let anyone else call you Y/n/n, alright?” said Theo, and you crossed your brows in question, “I want it to be just an us-thing. They can call you your full name at most.”

He was extraordinarily bossy. But it was sweet. Heartwarming, even.

“Wait, but if everyone calls you Theo, I want something just for us, too!” You blushed at how overly familiar that sounded, but Theo’s rosy cheeks filled you with conviction. “How about Teddy?”

Giddily, he smiled at you, “Say it to me in a sentence.”

You frowned, but obeyed, “I like being your friend, Teddy. — How was that?” He nodded happily, “You say one for mine, now.”

He thought for a moment, trying to decide on a sentence to say.

“Read my mind, Y/n/n.”

Always, he had to boss you around. But, again, you really didn’t care. It was just nice to have someone to boss you around. To think that only at the beginning of that week, you had no friends at all… Now you had so many, and all thanks to destiny. All thanks to your Teddy.

A breath, and then you forced your way into his mind. There was a picture there waiting for you, a memory from Monday. A memory of you, except, you seemed to glow. You’d seen yourself in a million mirrors and memories over the course of your life, but never had you looked so beautiful. And then, there were words.

“I’d like to go on a date with you, Y/n/n.”

Your eyes snapped open as you left his thoughts to belong to him alone.

“What?” You asked, your ears red.

“I think you’re absolutely brilliant, Y/n/n. Please, go on a date with me?” Theo smiled.

He inched closer until your noses touched and you could barely tell each others’ features apart. Each of you were just blurs of colour.

“I’d love to go on a date with you, Teddy.”

[oneforthemunny]

home is wherever i'm with you |hockey player!eddie munson x reader|

prompt: life on the road during hockey season is far less glamorous than you thought it would be. homesick and lonely, eddie tries to get you feeling better.

also special thank you to @angietherose for the name of the au hockey team :) eddie is officially on the indy reapers! thank you to all who voted as well!

contains: fluff, but there is slight angst at the beginning. mentions of loneliness, a little depression. slight-ish tension or strain on the relationship, but you know i make it happy at the end lol. language.

Pasadena, California - 1993 

Day seventeen on your six week excursion with Eddie. Well, excursion was a generous thing to call what this was. You were feeling more like a groupie for the Indianapolis Reapers, a puck bunny as Eddie’s teammates snickered, brows raised in suggest when they’d pass jersey clad girls lingering around their buses. Stop after stop- press, practice, training, games, all over the nation. 

A suitcase full of clothes you’d grown sick of already, longing to go home and trade them for something different, washing them in the sharp, sterile detergent of the hotels. You longed for your own sheets, perfumed with your own detergent. 

Eddie was gone for most of the day. You tried to sightsee on your own, explore the cities but it was lonely, lacking someone to giggle with over lattes, to hold your hand in the street, just to talk to. The other WAGS that came along, stuck out the long haul across the states, clung to each other, comfortable in their own little clique. You were too new, an outsider to their group. 

“Hey, babe,” Eddie pressed the key into the lock, twisting the heavy latch open. “Babe, do you have that stuff? Did you bring it?” He hummed, dropping his bag at the door, kicking off his sneakers. 

His nose curled at the pungent smell, ripe from the warming weather of California. “Jesus Christ, I gotta wash this stuff. I’m sorry, I’ll put it in the laundry thing.” Eddie hummed, sliding the slotted closet door open. “Can’t believe how warm it is here already. Feels so nice outside. You’ve been outside today, sweetheart?” He rambled, sweetly, tossing the powdered detergent into the washer, shoving the workout clothes from his bag into the tiny machine. 

The steady hum of the air conditioner filled the room, his only response. Eddie’s brows lifted, jamming the button of the washer, sliding the door back into place. He didn’t remember hearing you say you were leaving today, but he had taken a pretty hard hit to the glass during practice, ears still ringing dully. 

“Baby?” Eddie called, opening the bathroom door, empty of you other than the scattered products on the vanity. Heavy steps on the patterned carpet, Eddie walked into the bedroom suite, halting at the edge of the crumpled sheets. 

You laid on your side, still in what he’d left you in that morning, eyes puffy and red rimmed looking motionlessly out the window. “Hey, I thought you- I was, uh, I was just talking but-” Eddie’s heart beat in his throat, uneasy at the sight of you, crumpled in the sheets. “Are you ok?” 

You turned, cheek still pressed to your arms under the pillow, just enough to see him- all wild curls, matted and frizzy with helmet hair. “Yeah,” You croaked, throat scratchy and sore with sobs that had stilled hours ago, still you were plagued with the aftershocks of weeks of suppressed emotion. 

“I- I’m not trying to sound like a dick or anything here, but you’re clearly not.” Eddie said softly, slowly approaching the bed. The bed dipped under his weight, a warm hand rubbing over your ankle under the cool sheets. 

“Baby,” Your face crumpled at the coo, so sweet, gentle, it made your nose burn. “What’s goin’ on?” Eddie muttered, thumb circling your ankle bone gently. 

Your nose burned with a slow, shaky exhale that he felt, rattled all the way down your body under his touch. Eddie’s heart dropped. “Hey, look at me.” Eddie’s voice was softened but sharp, teetering on frantic. You turned, looking at his wide eyes, running over your frame in worry. “What’s goin’ on? What’s the matter?” 

Your lip wobbled, head screaming words you couldn’t bring yourself to say- you didn’t know how to say. “I just-” You took a breath, chest stuttering. “I don’t… feel good.” 

Eddie’s brows creased, crawling up the bed beside you. “Don’t feel good, like, sick?” He muttered, the back of his hand pressing to your palm. “You don’t feel hot t’me. What hurts? Is it your head still? I told you, baby, that hippie dippie shit only works so much. You have to take medicine-” 

“-No,” You shook your head, eyes squeezing tightly to keep your tears at bay. “It’s-it’s not that.” 

Eddie blinked carefully. “What? Is it, like, the time of the month? D’ya need me to go get some stuff for you? You know I don’t mind to. Not a problem for me, baby, just tell me what you need.” Eddie’s head tilted to the side, so sweet and doting, it made your chest heat with swarming guilt and adoration. 

“I’m not on my period. It’s nothing, Ed.” You shook your head, curling back into your pillow. 

Eddie stilled above you. “Are- Are you pregnant?” He whispered. 

“No.” You groaned quickly, head shaking into the warmth of the pillows. 

Eddie sighed lightly, a huff of relief that fell short, when your body turned from him, back towards the window with a long inhale. “Hey, can you- can you look at me? Please? Look at me, baby.” Eddie’s pitch raised, teetering towards scared, his hand on your shoulder, pushing you gently so you rolled on your back. 

He hovered over you, curls falling down nearly brushing your cheeks. “Tell me what’s going on. Please? Tell me what’s wrong.” Eddie whispered, nearly a beg. “You don’t feel good? You don’t feel good here?” His throat swelled, tight with fear. “With me?” 

Your silence had Eddie’s stomach twisting, dropping with fear, bile rising in the back of his throat- he was going to be sick, he was sure he would be. 

“No,” You muttered, head shaking lightly under the pillow. “Not with you, just,” You reached up, nervously twirling his curl around your finger. “Just with this.” 

Eddie swallowed, willing himself still, calm, though his heart felt like it might give out. “This? Wh-What do you mean this?” Eddie’s voice shook. 

You blinked up at him, eyes rounding in a sad softness he hadn’t seen before. “I just… I miss being home.” You whispered, eyes glossing with a fresh wave of tears that pricked your waterline. “I miss seeing my friends, and being in my own bed, a-and even work. I just,” Your breath hitched, lip trembling. “I’m just really lonely.” 

Eddie was sure his heart did give out, break right in his chest, sunk right to the pit of his stomach. “Do you- You wanna go home?” Eddie’s hand ran down your cheek gently. “That’s what you want? That would make you feel better?” 

Your face crumbled, caved into itself at his tone. “I-I don’t know.” You admitted, eyes squeezed shut to keep the tears in. “I don’t want to leave you, b-but I don’t-” You pressed your palms to your eyes, taking a slow inhale through your nose. “I just don’t want to be alone so much. A-And I know that’s not your fault. I know you’re working.” 

When your eyes did meet his, Eddie wished they’d stayed closed, heartbreakingly sad, vacant of that light that usually shone through, brightening anything cast in your gaze. “I just… I’m feeling homesick, ‘m sorry.” You muttered. “I just really miss home, and I’m having a bad day.” 

“You don’t- Don’t apologize.” Eddie shook his head. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were feelin’ like this.” Eddie swallowed, pulling you up gently. Your body was slack, limp with unmotivated movement, but still, you settled into his arms. The tension in your body melted, nose buried in the material of his shirt, lathered in cologne and the hot California air. 

“I have a half day tomorrow.” Eddie muttered, his heart beating fast, you could hear it, feel it. His hand smoothed up your back. “We’ll do something. Go exploring and stuff. Do some fun stuff.” 

“You’re ‘sposed to rest.” You muttered, cheek squished to his chest. “It’s before your game, you’re supposed to be resting.” 

“Yeah, but that is resting.” Eddie shook his head gently. “I’ll be alright. Promise. Played after way worse. Me and Josh used to come in hungover, vomited on the ice one time.” Eddie’s chest rumbled with soft laughter. “Pretty sure we’re the reason that rule’s in place now.” 

Your lips curled, even through your sullen, dazed mood, you couldn’t help it. Clinging to him tighter, you moved into his touch. “Coach just means take it easy like, don’t go get fucked up and actually sleep the night before.” Eddie muttered, chin tucking down onto your head. “C’mon, lemme take you out tomorrow. Me and you. Go anywhere you want.” 

You didn’t reply. Instead, sighed gently, settling into his hold. 

Eddie was restless through all of morning practice, hands buzzing, ready to run to the rental car at the first dismissal. Shower be damned, he’d take a quick one at the hotel, he couldn’t be held up any longer. 

“What’s goin’ on with you, Munson?” Elijah muttered, next to Eddie in the huddle on the ice, the coach’s droning about protocol for the game. 

“Nothin’.” Eddie whispered back, twisting his stick in his hands. “Just wish he’d fuckin’ hurry up.” 

Elijah’s eyes cut to Eddie, snorting lightly. “You got somewhere to be?” 

“Yeah, I do actually.” Eddie sighed out. “Gotta get back. Promised my girl I’d take her out.” 

Elijah’s brows raised. “Shit, you brought her with you?” 

Eddie’s shoulders tensed. “She wanted to come.” He muttered defensively. “I mean, she wanted to. Now it’s kinda fucked, she’s-” Eddie’s eyes cut around him. “She’s kinda homesick.” 

Elijah nodded slowly. “Yeah, that happens.” He fought back a smile. “When’s the last time you took her out?” 

Eddie’s eyes cut to him, defensive with accusation. “It’s not like that. I take her out.” 

“Yeah? On the off day? After we’ve traveled all day?” Elijah snorted, shaking his head. “C’mon, Munson. Believe me, that doesn’t count.” 

Eddie ignored him, gripping his stick with furious annoyance. The fuck did he know? He didn’t know anything. 

“Look, I’m not tryna piss you off. I did it, too. Just- believe me, alright? That one day shit doesn’t work.” Elijah pressed gently. 

“Hey, I got it, alright? I’m good.” Eddie growled. 

Elijah held his hands up in defense. “Alright, I’m just saying, when it was me,” He started. “I wasn’t meaning to. I just wasn't used to it. Had my own road routine and tried to fit her around it instead of into it. Thought it was going good until it wasn’t.” 

Eddie stilled, silent but shoulders slumping lightly. “You gotta change your routine, find a way to fit her into it. She’s on the road too, not just you.” Elijah continued. 

The coach whistled, waving them in dismissal. Eddie blinked, pulled out of his daze, lifting his helmet and stick with him. Elijah nodded at him. “Have fun tonight, Munson.” He smiled softly. “Make sure you take her somewhere nice.” 

Elijah’s words rang in Eddie’s head all the way back to the hotel, only a short drive from the arena. Eddie nearly threw his keys at the valet, sliding into the elevator shamelessly, bouncing on the balls of his toes until he reached your floor. 

You startled when he came in, sitting at the vanity, doing your makeup. “You’re done already?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie muttered, ducking down for a kiss. “Just gotta shower real quick, but are you hungry?” He shimmied his workout sweats onto the floor, kicking his socks off with them. 

Your eyes lingered over his bare lower half for a second, turning back to paint your mascara on. “I’m not starving.” You mumbled. 

“Alright, good, I was gonna see if we could go to this place. I think you’ll like it.” Eddie grinned over his shoulder at you, the hiss of the shower coming to life. “Some guys told me if you’re in Pasadena you gotta go here.” His smile so wide, eyes sparkling in the dim yellowed light of the hotel bathroom, it made your tummy tingle with warm excitement. 

“Promise you’re not looking?” Eddie mumbled, hands over your eyes, waddle-walking awkwardly behind you, pressed close to your back. 

“Swear I’m not.” You grinned. Eddie was right, it was beautiful outside. Warm and bright, light illuminating his hands that covered your eyes with a reddish glow. 

“I can feel you trying to. Your lashes are tickling me.” Eddie muttered, leaving you giggling. “Ok, just- you know what, this is good enough. I’m scared you’re gonna trip.” Eddie said, lips curling at your soft laugh. 

“Are you ready for your surprise?” You could hear Eddie’s grin in his voice, a breeze floating between the two of you. 

“Yes.” You giggled, Eddie’s chest swelling at the sound. “Just show me. Your hands are clammy. They’re gonna smear my mascara.” 

“Shit, sorry.” Eddie muttered sheepishly, a blush spilling on his cheeks, pulling his hands away so they were still in front of you. “Ok, ready?” 

“Eddie-” 

“-Sorry, Alright, one, two,” Eddie moved his hands, smiling proudly in front of you, a pinkish looking building behind you. “Here it is! Surprise!”

You blinked. “Oh.” You quipped softly. 

Eddie blinked, smile falling. “What? I thought you’d- You don’t like it?” 

“No,” You shook your head. “I mean, no, that’s- Where are we?” 

“Oh,” Eddie shook his head lightly. “Shit, I thought you’d know. Uh, apparently this place is supposed to be like the place for flowers, y’know? Pasadena has that flower festival thing, but it’s not until later and I know you like to go to the cool places, and-” Eddie motioned to the store behind him. 

You took in the building, spilling over with plants you could see from the inside. “I, uh, I know you miss home.” Eddie said softly. “And I was just thinking, y’know, we can’t get houseplants like at home, but maybe some bouquets? Some flowers for the hotel room.” 

Eddie waited a beat, desperately trying to read your face, eyes wandering over the building and the signs. “I thought maybe you’d pick out some flowers and-and it would make it feel like home.” Eddie’s hands slid down his jeans, hot from the sun beaming on them. “Plus, you wanted to see some around here, a-and y’know… one bird, two stones.” Eddie rambled, shrugging sheepishly. 

You felt the familiarity of a cry bubbling back in your chest, swelling and suffocation, only this time the aching of sadness was gone. In its place, a bubbling, burning feeling of adoration was left, consuming you from the inside out with every nervous glance Eddie gave you. He’d listened, really fucking listened. He always did, but this time it was different. Relief, comfort washing over you for the first time in days. 

It felt like home. 

Like the two of you were back in Hawkins, or Indianapolis even, perusing the usual spots, happy and content to be together in a familiar place. 

Eddie wasn’t expecting you to grab him, pull him into you with a fierce, sloppy kiss. Right there on the sidewalk, under the California sunshine. Lips melting into his, clawing and grabbing at his shirt, the back of his neck. Eddie’s cheeks burned bright when you pulled apart, a smile so wide and goofy it made you giggle. 

He let you grab his hand, lead him around the flower shop like a lost puppy, picking out anything and everything that made you smile. A bright bouquet spilling out beautifully in the green vase, made just for you. 

You sat it right on the small bedside table, beaming at how it livened up the room. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the flowers or you. Either way, it revived you, made you happier and giddier. Made the sheets of the hotel less cold when you slipped beneath them, legs tangled in his, pinning him under you onto the stiff mattress. It made the room brighter, spilling with a new fragrance that felt familiar. 

It was small, a miniscule way that meant the world to you; made you feel at home. Eddie knew it, planning how he’d do it with every next city, until you finally got back home.

[cuntressgoingdigital]

HEART 2 HEART | abby anderson x reader

free palestine! click this link for more info + dono links

synopsis: you comfort abby after her fight with mel in the aquarium

notes: this was written haphazardly while i was bored at work. i'm replaying tlou2 and this scene made me sad so here we are.

cw: sfw , gn! reader, hurt/comfort, gay yearning, kinda angsty, abby sexuality crisis, not quite a happy ending?, not exactly proofread

word count: 1k

you and abby’s shared sleeping bag lacked her warmth when you awoke. it took you a few moments to recognize your surroundings. this was your first time in the aquarium and naturally you were on your guard the entire time. it wasn’t that you didn’t trust owen and mel, you just didn’t know them. they had taken to yara and lev nice enough, so you assumed they were benevolent to some degree. in the very least, they weren’t a threat.

muffled voices drew you closer to the door that separated the makeshift bedroom and the main corridor of the aquarium. still groggy, you attempt to make out who the voices belonged to. after a few lines of indiscernible conversation, you could make out only a few words.

“you’re a piece of shit abby! you always have been.” 

you felt like an interloper, hesitant to bear witness to this conversation. so, you waited until silence took over.

abby was your best friend, even if you weren’t hers. you accompanied her on her secret mission to go “save” owen. you held no alliance to him, or any other member of the salt lake crew. your love for abby put you in this clusterfuck of a situation and you didn’t regret any second of it. 

you ran a semi-secret intel operation. you read every document, no matter if it were a chore list or religious text, that was recovered from the dead seraphites during patrols. isaac insisted it would encourage more thorough and devastating battle plans, but after a while the only thing you felt was guilt. 

abby, as isaac’s top scar killer, almost always had something to deliver to you. she always made idle conversation with you. as time went on your conversations became longer and your feelings for her grew. she attempted to introduce you to her other friends, but there was always an air of clique-ishness. they didn’t have room for new personalities it seemed. 

but, abby was always drawn to you. when manny needed the room she would often slip into your bed at night and snuggle into you for warmth. when she couldn’t sleep you would run your fingers through her long blonde hair and quietly hum to  music that wasn’t playing while you read through documents. after nearly a month straight of her coming to share your bed, you began to suspect that her absence wasn’t always at manny’s request. 

in her off time she would accompany you on random fetch quests at the behest of isaac. if you were sent across the stadium to complete some task isaac decided was beneath him, abby would follow behind you as you skipped along and chatted endlessly about something or another. sometimes she would talk back, but a lot of the time she just enjoyed hearing your voice. 

the sound of something metal hitting the floor drew you out of the room and out into the open. 

“abs?” you whispered. 

she didn’t turn to look at you, her eyes trained on the fish tank behind her. her fingers pawed at her cheeks wiping away the few tears that dared to fall. 

you took a few steps and slid down to the floor, back pressed against the fish tank. “come on.” you patted the space next to you. 

like a wounded dog she did as she was told and plopped down onto the floor next to you. you wrapped your arm around her as she rested her head on your shoulder.

“was that mel?” you had no idea what was going on with them. tensions were already high between them because of their shared love for owen. 

abby had only mentioned once, maybe six months ago that she still had some semblance of feelings for owen. she was really drunk and you had tried hard to forget. that had an obvious impact on her relationship with mel. after jackson things only seemed to get worse. 

you never asked, and abby never told. 

“i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing anymore. things were so easy a week ago.” a few of her tears ran down onto the sleeve of your shirt. 

“am i a bad person?” 

you could tell the question was almost rhetorical. any outright denial would be an attempt to stroke her wounded ego and an agreement was obviously not what she needed right now. much less was it something you would ever think to say. 

“i think you’re trying.” you whispered. this was a tender moment for only you and her to share. “abby from last week probably wouldn’t have come back for me or those kids.” you intertwined your fingers with hers. “there is no metric for a ‘good person’. the only thing that matters is you’re trying to be better than you were yesterday.” 

you could feel her holding her breath, likely trying to stave away any more tears. she sniffled and you kissed the back of her hand. 

“i love you, abs. okay?” 

it wasn’t your first time saying these words to her. most times it was in jest after you had been purposely annoying and you could tell she was losing her patience. or when she would save you an extra of your favorite meal from the mess hall. but, you always meant it. you loved her to the moon and back and would follow her anywhere. maybe you were too stupid and idealistic, but you would love her even if she never reciprocated your feelings. she was your forever, even if that meant being her lighthearted companion until the end of time. even if that meant dying in her arms. 

her puffy, teary blue eyes caught yours. she pressed her forehead against yours and lowly whispered your name. “i–“

yara sprinted into the room, looking mildly panicked. the two of you turned to her, immediately breaking the brief moment of solace you had found in each other.

“nice shirt.” abby gestured to yara’s t-shirt with a cartoon otter printed on it. 

abby often considered saying it back. kissing you in the darkness of your room. but, that would require parsing through her feelings for you. for owen. her sexuality. it was all too much. 

and it was certainly something she didn’t have time for right now. 

but, one day.

one day she would. 

[purplebass]

The secret history subtly deals with the theme of education and the different ways one could learn and could teach things. The motto of Hampden is "learning by doing" which is itself a teaching methodology theorized by John Dewey (it is still seen as a valid method, especially in stem contexts).

Julian is like a Greek rhetorician. He is able to persuade his six students merely by discussing philosophy and other things they like so much. He is a master of the word, which is at the same time clear to the group but also, it isn't. He conditioned the group's actions and lead them to do what they did. Julian already chose Henry as his successor, in a way. He knows that Henry also has an "aura", an empathetic strength which makes him both alluring and scary at the same time.

Dr. Roland is a psychology professor. Psychology is the science of the inside, and is so akin to philosophy because psychology tried to give answers to the matters of the mind and the emotions and the human being that philosophy used to ponder about. It is stated several times that Dr. Roland is a behaviorist, and they believed that learning could be achieved through conditioning. He talks a lot, but in the end, we see that what he says never influences Richard that much. Richard only sees Roland as his way to earn money while in a shitty town, but we see that he is just a random professor who leads a very ordinary life in comparison to Julian's life.

Richard uses Dr. Roland to get an income to sustain himself, while he attends Julian's classes. After Bunny's funeral, the group slowly falls apart and Richard finds solace in solitude in Dr. Roland's office rather than in Julian's classes with the members of his clique. This is a consequence of learning by doing, where the learning is questionable and brings about traumatic consequences for Richard and the others. He has to live with the consequences of their actions and he isn't okay with that, but he has to bear that cross since he feels a sort of sick loyalty to the others even though they never completely welcomed him in their group. He also knows that perhaps, if he isn't careful, he might be the next Bunny because he now knows too much

[bethanydelleman]

This is the best multi-season joke I've ever seen in a TV show and I demand it be recognized. There is a clique in the show Recess called "The Ashleys", girls who all have a very popular first name and are obsessed with fashion, and all in Gr 4:

Later, we meet their younger sisters, all in Kindergarten, all named Brittany:

And then we meet their brothers, all in Gr 2, all named "Tyler"

You have to watch all six seasons to appreciate the fully glory of this joke. I personally love it. And I had three boys in my class once named Tyler!

[jburrgf]

Prudence Girl.

We could stay alone, you and me and this temptation, sipping on your lips hanging on by thread.

pairing: joe burrow lsu x reader (becoming enemies to lovers)

summary: after a year at LSU, your best friend finally convinces you apply to be a prudence girl.

description: college life, frat party, kiss

—————————————————————

It was a relief to be far from home. From Ohio in general.

Now, I have to put up with my best friend, Tracy Evans, rambling about the fraternity and sorority homecoming at LSU and how much she’d love to be part of Prudence.

Prudence, by the way, is a sorority mostly run by a clique of cheerleaders. They all live in a huge house, practically Republican HQ, where they throw parties almost every week.

I find it cosmic and weird that the name is also a condom brand. But hey, no judgments here.

“We have to go, y/n.” Tracy grabs my shoulders, shaking them. “We can’t miss this!”

“Freshmen can’t miss it, and we’re not freshmen,” I say, winking at her. “At least, not technically. I still feel like one, tho.”

Tracy rolls her green eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, y/n. It’s not just freshmen who can’t skip out. Prudence pledges can’t either.”

“And why does that matter to us?” I ask, frowning.

“Because, my dear, if we pass tonight’s initiation, we’ll be Prudence pledges,” she says, winking as my jaw slowly drops. “I signed us both up.”

“You what?” I get up from my chair, furious. “If you want to be a Prudence Girl, Tracy, go ahead, but don’t drag me into it!”

Tracy rolls her eyes again. “Don’t be dramatic,” she says, stroking my cheek. “You don’t have to go through initiation if you don’t want to, or even join Prudence. I just want your company, you know, moral support and stuff.”

With her puppy-dog eyes on me, it was impossible to refuse. Sighing heavily, I nodded.

“You owe me, Tracy Evans!” I growl, grabbing my black jacket and throwing it over a white T-shirt that says, “Don’t look at my tits, perv” as I leave the room.

I walked across the dorm with a scowl on my face. Sure, it’s good to be away from home, but it’s not like Cincinatti is a paradise. It’s not even close.

“Hey, y/LN!” I turned my head to the left, where Alyssa Powell was calling me. “Love the shirt.”

I roll my eyes with a faint smile. “What’s up, Powell?”

Me and Alyssa knew each other from the hallways of LSU. She wasn't like a friend of mine, but she was cool to talk to.

“I need ya’ help, y/n,” she says, biting her lip. “You know I don’t get along with Abby Griffin, right?”

“I think the whole campus knows, after she grabbed the principal’s megaphone and announced she’d make your life hell.” Aly grins at the memory. “Go on.”

“I need a reason to stay in Prudence,” she continues. “And a great reason would be to mentor a pledge during initiation. And I saw your name on the list…”

Oh, no.

“Aly… Look, you’re awesome, smart, funny…extraordinary!” Aly smiles, blushing. “But no way.”

“Why not?” She pouts. Oh boy, here come the sad faces again.

“Because I have zero interest in being part of Prudence,” I reply, tucking a strand of curls behind her ear. “Mentor Tracy. She really wants to join you guys.”

Aly sighs. “She already has a mentor,” she says, her voice pleading. “Abby made sure every pledge had one before I could even consider it. I’m surprised you don’t have one yet.”

“Oh, that’s simple. I hate every Prudence Girl,” I say, shrugging. “Including you. But I hate you with love, you know?”

I watch Alyssa laugh, throwing her head back.

“Y/n, look, I wouldn’t be here begging if it wasn’t important,” she says, grabbing my hands. “My mom graduated as a Prudence Girl, so did my aunt, and my older sister. It’s a family thing, you know? I can’t screw it up just because the leader hates me for sleeping with Joe.”

“Wait, what?”

I had no idea about it. Fresh gossip, I guess?

Joe Burrow was the new sensation on campus for the last six months. He was QB1 from the LSU Tigers and didn't lose any games in the regular season — at least not until now. I didn't know that guy very well, and honestly, I like it that way. I'm not into jocks, especially the ones with massive egos.

“Yeah. She doesn’t like me because I hooked up with her boyfriend once, that’s all,” she says, shrugging. “Please, y/n…”

I stare into her brown eyes, at her wild curls and clothes far too bold for a university.

“Okay. On one condition,” I say, watching her smile grow wider and wider.

“Anything!”

“I want a room with Tracy, just the two of us. That, or no deal!” I cross my arms.

“Deal!”

[…]

When I return to my dorm, Tracy is there, jumping around to an ‘80s song, dressed in pink leggings, a black crop top, leg warmers, and a headband holding back her blonde hair. She looked ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful.

“What the hell are you doing, Evans?” I ask, climbing the bunk bed ladder. If joining Prudence means having my own bed on the floor, it might be worth it.

“Aerobics,” she says, smiling. “I do it every day after class for two hours. It’s exhausting, but it works.”.

“You should try it.”

“No thanks. I prefer my soft butt,” I say sarcastically. “Oh, by the way, I’m doing the initiation and becoming a Prudence Girl.”

“What? Why?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy?” I frown.

“I am, of course I am,” she smiles. “But why? You were so set against it this morning.”

I sigh. “Alyssa Powell asked me,” I shrug. “If she’s not my mentor, Abby Griffin will kick her out of Prudence.”

.“Remind me to thank her later.”

I lay back on my pillow, thinking about what it would be like to share a house with dozens of girls. Rent is $100, slightly less than the dorm, but that’s not reason enough to join a sorority.

“How does this initiation work, anyway?” I ask.

“It’s really simple, almost childish,” she says, rolling her eyes. “The guys eat or drink something, then kiss us. If we guess what it was, we’re in.”

“Seriously? That’s it?”

“Almost childish, like I said,” she grins.

Then it hits me. “Wait! Guys? What guys?”

“What other guys, silly? Prudence Girls kiss Prudence Boys,” Tracy bites her lip. “I can’t wait to kiss one of them.”

I rub my face with both hands, already regretting agreeing to this mess.

“I bet you can’t.”

[…]

Prudence House was packed, full of students. Nobody cared that it was the initiation for the new Prudence pledges because it was one of the most anticipated parties of the year—alongside the Prudence fraternity’s homecoming, the Kappa farewell, and the random Acacia parties, all of them Republican houses.

Tracy made me wear one of her dresses, shorter and tighter than I had imagined. My best friend did my makeup and hair, not because I can’t get ready on my own, but because I take forever doing it.

In just an hour, I was perfectly ready, waiting for the campus lights to go out and the pink lights of the Prudence sorority, in the back street, to take over. The house was ridiculously large—after all, it housed almost thirty girls—with many rooms, many bathrooms, and a huge party hall. It was in this hall that I stopped to observe the beige walls.

“Stop looking at things like that, you look like a child,” Tracy murmured, elbowing me.

“Sorry, mom,” I teased, hiding a smile. “This place feels like a museum.”

Tracy didn’t respond, maybe because she agreed or maybe because Abby Griffin was making her way toward us, looking determined.

Abby Griffin was the type of girl with queen bee energy. And she really was, technically. For the past two years, she was the “Prudence Queen”. I never knew how we became friends — actually, I didn’t even have the idea that she knew who I was.

“Y/n y/ln, I presume,” she said, eyeing me with superiority. “Alyssa’s new recruit.”

“In the flesh,” I smiled at her.

“The initiation will start shortly, in the backyard. If you're late, you’re out.” I could see in her eyes she wanted to add "along with Alyssa," but she held back.

“We’ll be there.”

Tracy squeezed my hand and pulled me outside in a matter of seconds, making me roll my eyes dramatically.

When we arrived outside, a line of women stretched across the lawn, their nervous and anxious faces clearly marking them as potential pledges. Everything would depend on a stupid kiss from a guy.

Alyssa found me when I got to the end of the line; including Tracy and me, there were twelve of us, the maximum number allowed per semester. Aly smiled and held my hands.

“Your room is already reserved,” she whispered. Aly glanced around, checking the area before leaning in to whisper, “Coffee candy and mint gum.” To disguise her words, Aly gave me a quick peck. “See you later, Prudence Girl.”

I held back the urge to groan that "Prudence Girl" and "Prudence Boy" sounded like names for a girl group and boy band—and they also actively reminded me of condoms, of course. I could make that joke later, after surviving the initiation just because a fling had kindly asked me to.

Tracy watched us with a smile; a nod from her confirmed she had heard what Aly said.

I would call this cheating if I cared about this whole mess.

“Welcome, everyone—brothers, sisters, pledges, and nosy students,” Abby Griffin began, silencing the crowd. “Tonight, we’ll be welcoming our new sisters—those who, of course, pass the initiation.”

Tracy squeezed my hand. Sneaky little thing.

“The initiation is as follows: we have a dozen Prudence Boys here, but you won’t see them until after you've kissed them.” At that, each mentor handed their pledge a black blindfold and placed it over our eyes. “Each guy has tasted something different—maybe a strawberry, maybe whipped cream, maybe vodka... Your job, during the kiss, is to figure out what was in his mouth before he kissed you. Good luck.”

Apparently, a line of twelve boys stood in front of us, aligned like we were. But we wouldn’t be kissed all at once.

I had to endure the sounds of sloppy kisses for several long minutes, along with guesses of foods or drinks—all of them correct.

Tracy squeezed my hand one last time before letting go.

It was her turn.

More kissing sounds, longer than usual. I rolled my eyes beneath the blindfold.

“Coffee candy!” Tracy shouted, earning applause and cheers.

Now it was my turn.

I felt the approach of someone who smelled of cheap cologne and sweat, and I automatically grimaced. This was clearly Abby’s doing.

But before the guy could mess up my night, a voice stopped him.

“Step aside, Oliver.” The body heat from the boy faded as he stepped away, and someone else approached. This one smelled of Dior Savage and coconut shampoo, and I honestly like it more. “She deserves someone better.”

“And you’re that someone better, Burrow?” Oliver, I assumed, yelled.

There was no response. Instead, soft lips covered mine, kissing me gently, while a hand slid to my neck, holding me in place, at his mercy.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me.

But his mouth didn’t taste like mint gum. Oliver surely would have, but this intruder had interfered.

I didn’t know whether to thank him for sparing me from the sweaty guy or curse him for confusing my mind.

I was still being kissed. His lips pressed lovingly against mine, and at the end of that affectionate wildness, three soft pecks were left as his hand released my neck.

Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap.

The once-noisy crowd had gone completely silent. Not a single person was saying anything.

Nothing. Not even a whisper.

I focused on the taste left in my mouth, where his tongue had roamed freely.

“What the hell was that, Burrow?” Abby yelled, probably storming toward us.

I didn’t dare remove my blindfold, afraid of what I’d see. Of who I’d see.

“You weren’t supposed to kiss her!” Abby continued.

Someone leaned toward me, and from the scent, it was him again.

“Do you have a boyfriend, darling?” he asked with the sweetest voice he could do it.

“No.”

“Then yes, I can kiss you.” I pressed my lips together as they argued.

“No, you can’t! You took Olly’s place!” Abby shouted back.

I cleared my throat, embarrassed.

“Chocolate,” I suddenly said, silencing them. “You ate chocolate before...”

A soft gasp escaped the boy, low and pleading, before his mouth claimed mine again.

Oh my God...

“Joseph Burrow!” Abby shrieked, furious, while the boy ignored her completely, more interested in caressing my lips with his own.

Damn, this feels so good!

A strand of my hair was tucked behind my ear as my lips were reluctantly released.

“Congratulations, Ohio girl. You’re a Prudence Girl now.”

I felt like I could faint at any moment, but I didn’t remove the blindfold, because I knew who I’d see if I did, and I wasn’t ready for that.

[kombuuuu]

Saviour of Mine.

Miles Morales x Fem!Reader

“You want stitches, big boy.”

“You gonna' stay on top of me?”

“No, but I'll make it hurt real nice.”

warnings : a little jealousy, not enjoying the spiderciety, a tad angst, more medical stuff i don’t know shit abt, misunderstandings, creepy obsession by a teacher, it gets better at the end promise,

requested by @viozxe :3 my boy my love i love him (gatekept this image for like two weeks but i finally have somewhere to use it)

For a man so true to his word, Miles had a thing for flaking on you.

You hadn’t seen him in around six hours. The event he had fled from leaving you dressed in your nicest clothes, looking like a sweet mess surrounded by family members not your own. After the first forty or so minutes, you had politely excused yourself from his Mama Rio and Officer Jefferson — Who both insisted you refer to them by their first names — , and booked it out of there.

You'd assumed he'd ran off with his little spider-clique. Something you'd rather not join, considering your particular distain for the man in charge. Who so happened to have quite the distaste for you, also. Avoiding the mirage of spider people had been relatively easy thus far, with the multi-versal gaps and all. But when Gwen Stacy had started to come see Miles more often — You would have to either sit through the excruciating task of listening to them talk. Which involved a lot more intimate moments than you were comfortable with being witness too. Or leave whilst she was there, and presumably not talk to Miles for a few hours — or.. days. Depending on wether he ditched you for her or not.

Having your best friend, of which you had fallen infatuated too, try and get with another girl right on front of you, any time they were together? Not the most ideal of situations. So you went home.

—

You cradled the led pencil on your dominant hand, other tapping to the beat of the song playing through your headphones. Sweet R&B to soothe your woes, whilst you focused on the homework in front of you.

You grabbed the rubber, sighing in exasperation and starting to scrub at your page, getting a little too frustrated and tearing the flimsy paper in the process.

You stared at the tear for a moment before borderline yelling, a tearless sob escaping you before you dropped your head against your desk. Slumping down into a flopped position.

You had to complete this by Monday, you knew that. Mr. Warren was the nicest teacher at your school. He’d helped you when you parents couldn’t. Taken you in — you’d even told him about Miles. He didn’t seem to like him very much, said it was a shame they shared a first name. You thought it was a crazy coincidence.

You slowly slid off your chair, pushing it back on its wheels as you went until eventually you were rested lying on the ground, staring at the window of your room.

Golden light shone through your curtains in a bright calling, basically signalling your escape as it sung to you.

You stared for another solid minute before groaning, Mr. Warren could wait.

Avidly ignoring the ache in your chest at the thought of finding Miles with the current focus of his interest.

You crawled to your closet and reached for the handle, still on the floor — before remembering your Van Der Waals and just using the tip of your fingers to lazily pull it open.

You snorted at yourself, before shuffling through the box at the bottom of your closet and pulling out the sleek spider suit.

The next minute was spent trying to energetically shuffle on your suit, and get your adrenaline running. Which proved working when you were rather excited — or antsy — to swing your way around the city.

You closed your window behind you, crawling up your building and letting the cold air force you more awake.

You backed up, jumping a little hop as you did. Bouncing on your feet before you ran, leaping off your building in a refreshing spin.

An excited yelp left your mouth before you shot a web to the next building over, using the top of a bus on the bust Brooklyn streets to boost your momentum, gradually gaining speed as you swung through the city in a series of twists and flips. Graceful swinging amidst a series of fumbling and laughing to yourself, still somewhat new to the spider-person talents.

You pulled out your phone, the small thigh pocket you had specially designed for your suit making it easier to carry your essentials around when you were in no need for over coats.

You stuttered in your swings, a small squeak escaping you when you almost hit a bird, yelling out a “Sorry!” to the poor thing.

The thwip of your web attaching to a near tall building sent another rush through you, curving yourself between two structures and landing on top of a bell tower. The same one you and Miles had been visiting together for the past year. You tripped a little over your own feet before righting yourself, smiling under the mask.

You didn’t need those other spider people, didn’t need a “Community to fall back on.”—, as that Miguel had put it.

You had yourself, Miles, and a teacher that supported you. And that’s all you needed.

—

You dialled Miles’ number. The irony of your inner statement making you cringe a little. You inner voice convincing you that literally no one else can hear you be embarrassed. You were speaking in your head. Your other—, more combative, inner voice— saying otherwise.

You willed them both quiet as your phone rung.

Miles’ cute face being showing on the profile photo, you stared at it as you waited, foot tapping the cement bell tower.

His face was in your hands, and smiling that charming smile he always did. His cheeks were squished in your hold as you kissed his cheek, holding the camera.

It was a romantic photo, if not for the fact you were best friends. You found yourself getting jealous of your past self. Chastising her for not relishing in that moment further.

Your phone beeped twice, signalling the call ringing out. You stared at it curiously, Eyes of your mask tilting into confused slants.

“C’mon man, pick up.” You whispered to yourself, glaring at the device in your hands and trying again.

When he didn’t pick up then, either — you had started to get impatient. And ended up rolling your eyes at him.

Muttering curses along with phrases of envy under your breath.

You had nothing against Gwen, in all honestly, she was a perfect fit for him — charming and troubled just like he was. Able to bond over their shared issues and shared interest.

Like each other.

You scoffed and shoved your phone back into your pocket, before angrily shooting a web, and slinging away.

Going to a bodega you knew always cheered you up to get rid of the mood you had out yourself in.

—

You walked out of the bodega with your bag in hand, your other waving joyfully to the owner, Hoa, the sweet lady you had met three weeks after moving here. Who made the best Bánh Mi you could find. You pet her cat on the way out, the sweet Turkish Angora purring as she nosed along your hand.

Hoa yelled out for you to “Come back whenever, Spider. On the house, next time.”

“Never on the house, Hoa.”

Her annoyed grumbles fades the farther away you walked. Skipping a bit as you pulled out the food, crisp bread with all the fillings you loved making the first bite look heavenly. You had the urge right then to pull up your mask in front of every flashing camera just to taste that home made bread.

You sighed your compliments instead.

“She never misses.”

“Who never misses?”

You startled at the civilian that had approached you, his tall stature and spiky nature making him stand out so much you wonder how you hadn’t noticed him.

Maybe your spider senses were distracted with your food.

“Oh— uh..,” You sucked your teeth for a second, eyes darting curiously around, wondering why he wasn’t just like the other civilian. Taking photos and videos of you as you walked past — ever fascinated by the new “Hero” around. You would barely call yourself that, but it’s what the people deemed you.

“My.. Friend.”

The man bent down by the waist, hands behind his back as he started walking with you.

“Name’s Hobie. Guessin’ your ‘friend’ made tha’ sweet lookin’ sandwich, mm?”

“Mm.. She uh— Oh, I’m —!..” You paused, tripping over your feet and scuffing your shoes. You cringed under the mask, stuffing the food back into your bag.

“..Spiderwoman.. She makes good food. Yup.”

Hobie snorted at how quick you were about to reveal your identity to who you assumed to be some confident civilian.

You awkwardly walked with him, every now and again glancing longingly at your sub as he leisured in his pace. Taking his sweet time walking who knows where whilst you begrudgingly accompanied the stranger — or not stranger. Acquaintance.

“Ya’ real confident for a Spidey.” Hobies’ sarcastic voice drawled, sniffing and scrunching his eyebrows before his face relaxed into a teasing smile again.

You side glanced him, otherwise focused on trying to leave the conversation. “Well considering there’s only three — two, of us.” You giggled nervously, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Rest in peace, Spidey-1.” You — somewhat — joked.

Hobie let out a snort and choked on his breath, laughing at your awkward nature.

No wonder Miguel hadn’t let anyone even mention your lack of inclusion to the Spider-force.

Not after the first day of trying to convince you, anyhow.

It would have been utterly humiliating to be bested by someone who couldn’t hold a conversation for the life of her.

Hobie had a lot of respect for you, right off the bat. He knew the moment that Miguel (and Jess) had come back from Miles’ universe — pissed off and *alone — that you hadn’t been persuaded. And considering Jess and Miguel had a rather unique skill with their convincing, feeding off vulnerabilities in younger Spider-people to be the lack of parental figure in their lives, or elder — to have relatability in their pains. It wasn’t technically ill intended, but Hobie thinks it’s more than a little manipulative.

So to have you — someone he’s seen is vulnerable, hurting, easy; not fall victim to the duos tactics, and actively *berate them for it.

He was well awed.

And his brotherly instincts kicked in terribly fast. He thinks he sees a lot of himself in you. Awkward and growing into yourself, struggling against the high standards you were held to as a spider. And fighting from that box people tried to put you in.

So yeah, well awed would be an understatement. Proud would be a criminal understatement.

So when he had been looking for Gwen, trying to show her some stupid thing Pavitr had sent him just to show her — and realised she was gone. He checked his watch, lo and behold, she was in your universe.

Meaning she was with Miles, who rather actively tried to steer you away from his spider drama. Right now, though? He was distracted.

And what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

He walked with you for a while longer, letting you both get comfortable in the silence of a stranger.

“This ain’t weird f’ you, mate?”

You had both ended up at some alleyway, filled with stalls of food and bustling people pausing in their tracks to stare at the oddly placed pair of Hero and “Random Punk?”

“Not quite. I’ve had weirder interaction with weirder guys.”

He nodded in acknowledgment.

“Yeah, Guess ‘m not as weird as some villains.” The brit droned, dropping down to your height and eyeing the stalls as you passed, pocketing some things from stores he knew as bigger organisations.

“I was talking about regular people, but yeah those too.”

He laughed, grinning at your dry humour and nodded again, leaning into your view and smirking at your adjusting lenses.

You reached the stall you were looking for, the girl greeting you with a smiling “Hi, Spidergirl!”

Your eyes shrunk, “Spiderwoman, Spiderlady, Spider — and you chose the most demeaning.”

“Well, you are built rather girl like, young and spry and — oh, is that Hoa’s Bahn Mi?”

You nodded enthusiastically at Avanti, dropping your hand into the bag and pulling out a cookie you’d saved for her.

Hobie watched the interaction from stood behind you. Slipping in a “You had a spare cookie this entire time?”

You snorted and Avanti handed you a peach ice tea and a couple of her home-made desserts in a Spider-man themed lunch box. A note reading “Got this just for you — brin bring it back!!” placed on top, you glanced up, putting the lunch box in your bag as you did so and thanked her before you and Hobie were off again. “Seriously, the whole walk. No cookie.”

You laughed at his pouting tone, “I’ll get you one, next time, big man.”

He draped his arm over your shoulder, leaning some weight on you and started talking about random things he could think about during the trip back to your apartment.

You’d grown to enjoy his company, the older man — and his lack of filter — being oddly entertaining. You quipped, and he quipped back. Not enough for you to really trust him seeing your apartment, but enough that you set the boundary on your block.

“Hey Hobes, this has been a really good talk—,”

“Gotta ge’ back to ya’ Spiderin’, aye?”

You smiled up at him, lenses sliding into a pleased expression. “Yeah, real difficult stuff y’know? Saving the city and all that.”

He nodded along with you, right as his funky watch (that did not at all match his outfit, but looked to be bedazzled with a series of metal spikes) beeped. He brought his arm up and checked the small screen, face morphing into one of annoyance. “Aye’. Right timin’ mate, cause I just got a call from HQ.”

“Ahh.. Big cooperation?”

“Not in a million years, brutha’. More like a socie’y.”

He looked up at you and grinned. “Miguel really don’t like when I flake out on ‘im.”

You paused a second while Hobie fiddled with his watch, reaching into his back pocket while checking for anyone around. When he found no one, he slipped out his spiked mask and slid it on.

You stared, dumbfounded.

He clapped your shoulder again, scoffing amused at your wide-eyed expression.

“Was this —“

“A ploy f’ you ta’ join the Spider socie’y? Not a’ all, mate.” He sniffed, itching his head through his mask and squeezing your shoulder.

“I right respect ya’ f’ not joinin’. Wish I woulda’ had ya’ will at my age.”

“Oh… Thanks…”

He nodded at you, Lenses squinting.

“Yeah but, I gotta dip, Gwen’s not distractin’ Miguel with sneakin’ off no more. He pro’bly realised I was gone too.”

“Yuh huh…”

“Bye, [Name].”

You blanched one last time before he shot a web onto your neighbouring apartment building, opened a portal mid-air, and flung himself through.

“What the fuck..” You whispered to yourself, perplexed at the interaction that had just occurred.

“What the hell.”

—

It was two hours later, when you were full of Bahn Mi, Pastries and Ice Tea, rethinking everything he’d said; when his last words caught up to you.

Gwen’s out of this universe. Not in the figurative sense — Although she is everything everyone wants to be, but you’re gonna ignore that — So where the hell was Miles?

It was late now, Moon shining a casted light through your living room drapes just as the Sun had onto your bed hours prior.

You gradually dragged yourself from your couch, reaching over your coffee table with great effort to reach your charging phone.

You huffed, giving up and snatching your web slinger from the floor by your feet and shot a web to grab your phone, tugging it off the charger. The thicker part yanked out the wall instead, landing hard on your torso with a dull thump. You scrunched your face up and grumbled, cursing at the thing while you pull your phone off the now useless charger and throw it on the floor.

“Fuckin’ asshole…”

You flipped your phone, eyes widening when your lock screen lit up with a series of notifications. All getting progressively worse. Your spider-senses growing in alert.

miles (o O) 7:42 PM

haiiii

gwen left

u should’ve hung w us

haha

get it \(^ W ^ )\

hung

cause spider

i’m comigg to home now

yoii r home

soffy swinginf

waiiiiiiiiiixixiiixkm jjj fd

bab guy ine secon

The messages abruptly stopped, being replaced entirely by a series of calls. Some left voice messages, some not.

You clicked on a recorded voice message.

(miles (o O) Left a Message at 7:46 PM.)

“Hey, [Name]!” Miles’ cheery voice rang out through the speakers, bringing a lovesick smile to your face despite the off feeling you had in your chest.

“Just gonna — Oof, hey man! Not cool. — Gonna take care of this guy before—,” A pause and a grunt. “,—Before I come home to you, yeah? Pick up soon I wanna know what you’re doin’.” A begrudged shout sounded far from the speaker. “Are you on call right now?”

“It’s important!”

“We’re fighting!”

“I have a life loser—“ Three harsh beeps rung out, signalling the end of the voicemail.

You clicked on a few more, just quick tidbits of him complaining you not picking up, and fighting an unknown villain. Also complaining how he missed you and “This guys is not goin’ down!” He shouted louder; “C’mon man! I have somewhere to be!” “Suck my dick Spiderman!” “Woah—! Well don’t get angry now, asshole!”

“Hypocrite!”

“Am not!”

“Are too—“ Three beeps.

You clicked again.

“[Name], Please pick up! This guy can— Fuck! — You dickhead!” A beat played and a cough was heard. Your frown deepened.

“I’m at the—“ Cut off.

You checked for another voicemail, one continue the one left off. A worried scrunch in your nose. There wasn’t one.

Right as you were going to call him back, his profile photo popped up again, you pressed answer with a lip between your teeth.

“Miles?” laboured breathing came through the speakers, wet gasps and sniffled coughs every now and again. He was silent for a full minute before answering you.

“Hey, [Name]..” His voice was gravelling and deep, sandpaper against softened lips.

He sounded tired, and your heart rate picked up in fear, almost like he could hear it. “Fuck..,” He whispered into the phone, groaning. Holding the phone loosely on his end, as apposed to the anxious grip you had on on yours.

“I’m.. Stuck in some construction site.” He gasped. “Miles what the hell—!”

“Mi Vida, please. The guys not—“ A loud crash made the speaker in your phone crackle. A whispered “Shit.”, before he hung up.

You wanted to call back, but from his whispering, and panicked tone, you could only guess he was trying to hide.

Whoever this villain was, they weren’t giving up.

—

You followed his tracker, the location he was pinged at getting closer by the second. You breathed hard against the force of wind, dropping down into a run on where the location was set to be.

“Fuck, fuck— Miles where are you?..”

Your footsteps were light, crouching under concrete slabs and tip toeing around loose gravel. Red light was cast along unfinished floors and crumbling walls. Shadows reaching towards you from the corners of your eyes. Your spider senses were on high alert, at a constant buzz. They suddenly upt in pitch and you flinched around, almost screaming at the hand covering your mouth. Pressed harsh against your face, and another around the back of your head so you couldn’t escape. Your hands gripped the wrists of the stranger before you heard an incessant shushing.

“Conejita, quiet.”

You relaxed instantly, the eyes of your mask downturned in fearful stress.

His hands were shaking against your head, figure hunched and body scratched up. The tears in his suit spanning across his right shoulder and chest. He slowly removed his hands, bringing a lone finger to where his lips would be in his mask in a ‘hush hush’ manner.

Coming in closer to you, leaning down to where your ear would be and whispering “He’s still here.”

You grabbed his forearms, leading him deeper into the site, away from the reddened lights and into the creeping shadows.

He breathed heavy behind you, throat wet with his own blood, he grunted and tried to help you in walking with him, good arm thrown over your shoulder as you dragged him. “C’mon, just a little farther.”

“What’re you…” He cut himself off, heaving. You set him down in the quiet corner, tucked behind two large concrete sheets and some large bent up pipes.

“Just—, sit here Miles, okay?” You brought his head up to yours, still talking in a quietened voice. Hands on his face and crouched in front of his slumping form.

“I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

You stood from crouching, hands slipping off his face while he dragged forward to stay in your grasp — mumbling something like a plea for you to stay.

You turned from him, dashing away in silent movements, slinging yourself up onto high ground and turning back to make sure he wasn’t visible unless you truly looked — he wasn’t.

You lept off, disappearing from his sight with a yank against your webs.

He mumbled, shifting closer in your direction as the exhaustion hit him. Huffing, he leant back. Letting his head hit the wall and focus on keeping his eyes open.

"Quédate despierto.. No te muevas..."

“Stay awake.. Don’t move…”

He heaved again, the heaviness in his chest deepening.

“Stay…” He closed his eyes — for just a second, just for the relief — Dragging his hand up to rip the mask off of him, and forcing himself to open them again, to watch the Moon.

“Awake.”

—

You creep around corners, listening in and honing your senses to a point. For anything, a trip, a movement. A breath.

You whipped your head to the left, following the sound of light breathing.

“Come out little bunny.”

You tensed, he’d heard you.

“Ah, don’t worry, honey—,” You heard him creep forward, closer to you. He didn’t know where you were, obvious by the hesitance in his steps, but he had the right direction. You can move now, he would hear. And with how he’d heard Miles’ mere whisper before, you suggest maybe he had an ability similar to your own. “,Not him I want, anyways.”

That made your shoulders loosen a little, but you never rested. Who knows whether he was lying or not.

You shot a web, hitting the pipe of your aim and jumping from one to another, using your webs to steady yourself. You heard him huff a laugh.

“I heard that.”

Your eyes slanted, crouching into a spidered position. You crawled, using the stick of your fingers to steady across the pipe, sticking to it and trying to find the mystery man in the sea of red the warning lights casted.

Your spidey-senses went haywire and you jumped from the pipe in less than a second. Right as you did, a bang went off and you stumbled forward, landing in rubble and groaning. Rolling before you steadied yourself and jumped up. No rest until your opponent is resting in Death.

You finally saw him. What looked to be some guy in a green fuzzy suit.

“My girl..”

“Wha— *Are you a furry?”

He groaned, and charged for you, right hand outstretched and left in a clenched fist. He swung for your head, twisting his body as he did. You shot a web on his abdomen, pulling him towards you and jumping to slip under his arm, using his prior speed to throw him into a block of concrete, just missing a pole from stabbing him through the chest. He glanced at for a moment and grabbed his head — which had taken quite the hit.

“Seriously what type of Grinch cosplay is this?”

He growled again, like a man with rabies.

“C’mon dollface, don’t fight me here.”

“You hit first, asshole — Also what the fuck, i’m not your ‘doll’.” He shot for you again, throwing a bomb behind you to throw your body forward, you tried to grapple for stability, webbing to anything in reach. But he gripped your waist and held you against him.

“[Name]…”

You froze, body wanting to gag and shed your own skin at the same time.

You swung for his jaw, knocking him clean off you with a disgusted hand.

“Who the fuck are you!?”

He held his jaw and you stumbled farther from him. Hands held beside you, ready to attack if needed.

He grinned at you, blood seeping onto the green fur of his face, you felt sick.

“Oh, come on, babyface.” His jenky voice was digging into your skin, peeling it up and stabbing into your muscle. Twitching into your flesh and making your body hurt, making you hurt.

You ripped your mask up and hurled, spitting nothing but bile onto the ground below you, the burn of stomach acid sitting heavy in your throat and you felt like crying. Your breath heavy and gasps painful.

“What the fuck.”

—

You smiled at your professor. Waving back at him from the other side of the lecture hall. Miles come up behind you and hooked his arm around your shoulder, swaying against you as he chatted with you about anything that had happened in the time he hadn’t seen you. You snorted, chatting back — Forgetting completely about the other Miles.

You dropped your shoulder and your Miles stumbled, grumbling up at you before you gripped his forearm and dragged him to sit with you at the back of the hall. His mood changing in an instant as he followed along like a lost puppy, gawking at you with a dopey smile plastered across his face. His canines exposed, charming and boyish. How he always is. You sat him down, and sat next to you, and he dragged your chair a little closer, grabbing you leg and placing it over his.

He started laughing again at the eye roll you gave him, and you cracked — smiling and giggling with him.

What you hadn’t seen, was the glare settled on the two of you. The way Warrens previous smile had dropped into a snarling frown, hands gripping the pencil he had been holding in a death grip. He jumped at the sound of a crack, the pencil had snapped in his hands and he got even more pissed, about to scream at the *other Miles to get away from you. To get his hand off you.

That kid didn’t deserve you like he did.

You loved him like he loved you, he knew it.

You had too.

He watched you laugh and his heart fluttered, angry at who you were laughing for but still — you were so pretty.

You wouldn’t be laughing like that if he wasn’t here. You loved him.

—

“Mr. Warren?”

“How many times have I told you to call me Miles?” He slipped out of his own head, breaking from the stare he had on you.

You laughed sweetly, eyes shining. “How many times have I told you I already *have a Miles?”

He watched your smirk as you quipped back at him, a jealousy brimming in his chest. He chuckled, a heartless sound to no one but himself.

“Ahh, How many times am I going to forget?” He tapped his pencil on his desk and tried to focus on you instead. He watched you go back to your work, so intelligent, mature.

You shaded in the answer on the sleek sheet. You were right, of course.

A hair fell from behind your ears and he wanted to tuck it back, wanted to give you straight A’s for nothing despite knowing you would get them anyways.

You threaded you hand through your hair and if he wasn’t focused on how beautiful you were — maybe he’d be disappointed it wasn’t his own.

He watched you, forgetting the papers he was grading — he was focused on something else, now.

—

He was standing when you turned back. Hunching over his injuries and staggering towards you.

“Mr. Warren?”

“Yes, my dear.”

You gagged again, and he looked sad at the act.

“Please, baby—“ He stretched out his right hand, pleading with you.

“,—I know you love me too. I know that fucking Spider is taking you from me.”

He stepped closer.

“I know it.”

You stumbled back farther, wiping the spit from you lips and pulling your mask down, you went to shoot a web, to get away. But he was on you before you could, the hand not outstretched revealing a cloth covering his palm. Sodden and dripping a clear liquid.

He gripped your suit and dragged you forward, shoving the cloth closer to your face.

“Stop fucking resisting.”

“Get off!”

You gripped his forearm and bent it back, far enough you heard a snap. He yelped out. The sweet smelling cloth dropped from his hand and his other lost grip on your shirt. Taking the opportunity you dropped down, crouching on one leg and using the other to swipe the things legs from under him.

You watched him fall and grabbed the cloth. Hearing his pained groans as he tried to scramble up again.

You kicked a leg over him, straddling his chest and bringing your free hand back — swinging down on him with anguished cries.

He tried to raise his hands, you pinned them down in his own chloroform ridden cloth. He called your name, endearments that made you skin crawl. Tried kicking you off as his body grew weaker. Pleading with you, using his remaining strength to yank at his own arms.

He wrestled against your hits, face bloodied and nose broken. You hit again, watching his disgusting face whip to the side, blood leaking from his mouth as a tooth went flying.

Tears breached the edge of your eyes, frustration of every kind tearing your skin anew, your knuckles pouring the hurt you felt. Blood mixing in a sickening spill of feelings, an obsessive love — something cruel and harsh. And the injuries you’d sustained from it, equally as such cruel.

You’d spent *months trying for a man in love with someone else. And this man you had confided in, who had been a mentor in your trivialities — had taken advantage of that, of you.

He disgusted you.

You kept swinging.

—

Miles jerked awake, gripping the hands that were on his shoulders in an instant, the figure flinching back at his strength.

“Miles! Just me—,” He opened his eyes further, pain ringing through his body as he loosened in your hold.

“Just you.”

He took your appearance in, the blood coating your suit, that hadn’t seemed to be your own. The thick liquid shining on your hands and forearms, crudely splashed onto your mask — like something out of a horror film.

He reached up slowly, pulling off you mask with great effort. His own sitting next to him. You were on your knees before him, bathing in red so deep it could have been mistaken for black against the reddened light. He groaned when you touched his chest, coughing a little at the pain.

“Sorry! Sorry — I’m so sorry.” You quickly retracted your hand and gasped. Apologising through near tears. He wet his lips, watching your tear lined eyes in worry.

“Hey— Conejita, what— what happened?”

Letting his hands rest on your cheeks, carbon fibre wiping at soft skin.

You sobbed, gripping his wrists and moving his weak hands closer to you. His brows furrowed further.

“I don’t — I don’t know, he —,”

You breathed fast against his palms, crying to him. Miles straightened himself up, ignoring the pains shooting up his body and trying to comfort you, shushing your cries and cradling your face.

“Mr. Warren he was —“

Miles’ eyes widened, finally letting the familiarity in his voice click. That was who it was, who was so mad at him, disgusted by the Spider.

Miles shuddered, thinking back to the off feeling he’d always had around the older man.

How he was always around you.

“What did he do.”

His eyes darkened and you cried harder, Miles had completely forgotten about his wounds, shifting to get up and find the fucking bastard.

You gripped him tighter, “Miles. He’s not —,”

“Where is he.”

“Dead.”

His breath escaped him, the blood made sense now. He got closer to you and slid his hand around your head, pushing your face into his good shoulder.

You cried again, shaking form cradled against his own weakened body.

“Shh, Mami. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“We’re alright, I promise.”

He hugged you closer, pressing a haste kiss to your forehead.

“You’re safe.”

—

You helped him home, having to hold him up and swing at the same time, which wasn’t much as a hassle as you thought it would be.

You both sat on your couch, him lying down with you sitting on his thighs.

He watched you work, suit and mask discarded somewhere in your living room and clad only in a pair of loose joggers you had found for him.

Your face was pinched into a frown, eyes still puffed from crying and a brows scrunched unpleasantly.

“Stop moving.”

“I’m not.” He threw his head back, rolling his eyes at your complaining.

“See? Moving.” You poked his chest and he winced.

“Okay! Okay— Damn, chica.”

You smiled at his tone, a small, timid thing. And he pushed down the fluttering in his stomach.

“You’re lucky you don’t need stitches.”

“Lucky? Havin’ you here longer would make me lucky.”

You grumbled, pouting at him angrily. “You want stitches, big boy?”

“You gonna stay on top of me?”

“No, but i’ll make it hurt real nice.”

He snorted, shifting to look at you better.

“Then, nah.”

You kept at your work, patting him with antiseptics and making him hold an ice pack across the forming bruises.

And he admired you, the streaks of light from the window falling against your face. A city ridden with crime making you so, so pretty.

“Why’d you come for me?”

You gave him a curious look but continued to patch him up. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I?”

He sniffled, averting his gaze. “I dunno I just— didn’t expect you to show up.”

You shook your head a little, understanding his fears.

“I’d always show for you, Miles.”

He hummed, flustered at the thought.

You moved up to his face, gently patting away blood with a warm hand towel, your other hand holding his face towards you. Fingertips brushing his cheeks in a hold so caring he might’ve fainted if it wasn’t you holding him. He’d stay awake for you this time. He’d protect you this time.

“I love you.”

You froze, towel stuck in the air and your eyes locked onto his.

Miles held his breath, waiting for your reply as he watched you clock the words.

His nerves got to him quick, spouting out whatever he could in your silence.

"Estaba hablando con Gwen y me ayudó a darme cuenta, ¿sabes? No paraba de decir que estaba enfermo de amor, yo no lo entendía y pensé que quizás debería..."

“I was just talking with Gwen and she helped me realise, you know? Kept saying I was lovesick and I didnt get it and I just thought maybe I should—“

“I love you too.”

He snapped his gaze back to you. Hope colouring his eyes a sparkling gold.

“You do?” He whispered, an intimacy running through his bloodstream. Heart pumping too fast in haste of the pure admiration he held for you.

You nodded, and your hands splayed out further, cradling the edge of his lips.

“I do.”

He tried to sit up, abs clenching under effort to get closer to you, you let him drag you forward. He ditched the ice pack and settled his hands on the crest of your thighs, rubbing his thumb over your hips.

“Say it again?”

He whined, begging you. He wanted, needed to hear you say it again.

“I love you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, forehead pressing against your own. You followed.

The things he felt for you were too much, too much. His chest was heaving again, but not from pain. This was love he hadn’t experienced before, this was anything but painful.

"Dios, también te amo."

“God, I love you too.”

Your hands slipped from his lips to the back of his neck, scratching gently along his nape and he shivered.

“Let me kiss you? Please?”

He whispered again, voice cracking. Chapped lips brushing against your own softer ones in a featherlight touch. He was holding off, not letting himself the pleasure without you wanting him back — he wanted to know you wanted him back.

“Please.” You were sure, certain — and it was all he needed.

He kissed you sweetly, letting himself indulge in you without restraint.

He hadn’t known what he’d been missing out on — but now he does. Know he knows. And god, if he hadn’t felt more full in his entire life.

Everything had been bland compared to you, had been bitter and dull against the sweetness of your lips. Smooth against rough skin and he’d never felt something so soft before. His hands gripped you harder for just a moment and you pulled back merely an inch to catch your breath. He opened his eyes and watched your lips sparkle in the same light he’d admired minutes before.

“I love you too.”

You smiled at him and he pulled you ever closer. “I know, Miles.”

—

“I fuckin’ told ya’, mate.”

“Wh— I never said otherwise!”

“Yeah but ya’ neva’ agreed either, aye?”

“I never disagreed.”

“Pff, whateva.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, scoffing at the brit next to her with a smile on her face.

They watched you both as Miles nervously introduced you to Peter. A sort of Spider-convention was set up. And the invite was — begrudgingly — extended to you.

“They’re cute, though.”

“Bloody oath.”

You offered the older man with a warmed gaze, turning to the kid in his arms and cooing. He smiled at you, being one of your favourite spiders had its perks.

He was one of the only ones who never tried to make you join the society, so he got a pass from you.

Miles held your hand and smiled, chatting with Peter excitedly once he realised the lack of tension.

“Do you want to hold her?”

“Do I—,” You looked up at him hopefully. “Yes! Uh— Yeah. Yes please.”

You dropped Miles’ hand and he pouted, watching you take the baby from Peters arms, the early father fretting as you waved him off, insuring him you knew how to care for a child.

Peter relaxed and stood next to Miles as you rocked his baby gently. A rather fond feeling overtaking them both — leading Peter to take a photo of you with his kid, and Miles to shyly ask him to send it to him.

The look of you with a kid? It was way too early in life for baby fever.

He huffed when he heard people making kissy noises behind him. You too preoccupied with entertaining the kid to realise it.

He turned to the trio of teens behind him and flipped them off. Pavitr gasped offendedly at him and Hobie and Gwen laughed, causing Miles to roll his eyes and snort.

“Assholes.”

You gently passed MayDay back to Peter and gave a quick kiss to her head. Peter going off to get her a bottle.

Miles came up next to you and you smiled at him, watching the skyline from the buildings rooftop.

“[Name].”

You huffed and rolled your eyes at the voice behind you.

Way to ruin a moment.

“Miguel.”

You turned to him, Miles cringing quickly as he turned with you.

“Hey— Miguel! Crazy seein’ you here, haha! Insane.” Miles nervously laughed, his voice deepening on the last word and you coughed a laugh, agreeing with him.

“Uhuh, crazy.” A sly smile adorned your features and you grabbed his hand again, interlocking your fingers in a foxy movement.

“You weren’t invited.”

“Huh? Of course I wasn’t!—“ Your smirk grew bigger. “—I’m a plus one.”

He glared down at you and it only felt all the more justifiable, he opened his mouth to talk before Peter was dancing over with MayDay held out.

“Here take this, thanks!”

He quickly handed her off to Miguel and spun him around by his shoulders, continuing to walk with him in the other direction. “She needs a sleep. Rock her to sleep.”

“Wh—“

“Rock her.”

—

Miles gripped your hips, swaying gently with you to the soft music playing in your kitchen. Your Ma had left two weeks prior for a month long work trip, and he couldn’t stay away. The domesticity he had built with you reaching an all time high as he watched you cook.

He rested his head on your shoulder and you both continued to sway a little. Moving his hands past your hips to lean his hands on the bench you cut your food on, caging you in slightly. You hummed, reaching for a tomato and placing it on the board.

“I love you.”

You giggled — a sweet, girlish thing.

“Love you too, baby.”

“Love you more.” He smiled against your shoulder.

“Pfft, yeah okay, big boy.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed, and his heart fluttered again.

—

GOD DAMN AS ALWAYS WAY OFF THE RAILS

lovely translator @sataraxia

(literally my bf the delusions are getting worse he’s my bf guys!!! ⬇️)

[neiptune]

something's not quite right with them

c/w: 2.4k wc, the secret history au, implied incest, implied dark themes, gojo and suguru and everyone else are secretive annoying & disgustingly elite students, the dark academia setting just really does it for me idk i want to play around with dark themes more

PART 2

The library is empty enough to give you less excuses not to focus on what’s in front of you, thick books piled on top of each other and messy notes taken on isolated pieces of paper you keep forgetting to arrange in an order that would make sense.

Most of the students have travelled back home for christmas but you’re too behind on your study plan and had decided that staying would’ve made you more productive than joining your parents on a christmas trip to Salzburg. What an idiot.

The only things you’ve been able to focus on during the past hour are the specks of dust lazily dancing in the winter sun filtering through the tall windows, and the group of people sitting two tables away from you. Their presence there is so unusual one might guess it holds the reason of almost every single stare in the room locked to them, hesitation laced with morbid curiosity. But, truth be told, they’d be alluring anyway, anywhere.

There’s something weird and unnerving about how they carry themselves, always so elegant and eerily enticing. It doesn’t help that they’re almost never around, only attend one class and spend their time exclusively with one another.

To state that you never wondered what went down behind closed doors on evenings and Sunday mornings would be a lie. An entire classroom shut down, barricated for just six people and the only professor you’d refused to endear yourself to would pique anyone’s interest.

You don’t like them, therefore you never had any reason to feel lured enough to attempt a conversation like so many have, with fairly disappointing outputs no less. You don’t like the haughtiness embedded in their attentive stares, the smug sense of superiority surrounding each component of the clique like a nebulous haze that bodes ill.

You don’t like how that Utahime girl constantly sits on her sister Shoko’s lap, letting the latter card thin fingers through her hair so languidly one might get the wrongest idea. You don’t like the contrast posed by that bubbly Yu guy, always far too excited to discuss whatever it is they study in their stupidly exclusive, obsolete literae humaniores class. You don’t like Nanami Kento and his insufferable, stoic expression: he looks like he’s carved in stone, the cold and sharp-edged kind.

You definitely don’t like the best friends, Suguru and his sickeningly condescending smiles, Satoru with his infuriatingly cocky smirks and jokes blurted out loud in Latin or Greek to complete strangers passing by their table, only to laugh at their confusion. You can’t quite put your finger on it but those two have some odd dynamic going on, although you’ve never been one to believe the weird rumors suggesting secret relationships, clandestine gatherings at night or straight up incest. People love to make up stories about popular students they can’t approach and the group certainly is weird enough to fuel some unusual fantasies.

Still, that Gojo guy sometimes looks at his friend like he’d want to swallow him whole and you swear you’ve seen Geto tilt his head up with a gentle hold of his chin more than once, speaking in soft murmurs only inches away from his lips.

Whatever they have going on, it’s none of your business. But you do wonder what they learn in that class, if their exams are any different from yours, where the hell they disappear to from time to time, why they all stayed instead of travelling home for the holidays. Don’t they have families? Are the perfect, most elite students of the already disgustingly elite college having trouble keeping up with their study plan too?

Lost in your thoughts, you notice Suguru’s sharp gaze suddenly darting to yours a second too late. You instantly bring your focus back to the notes you have messily scattered across the table but Satoru’s distinctive, petulant chuckle travels all the way to your ears and your hold on the pencil grows a little tighter.

You don’t dare look in their direction again and actually end up getting some work done, taking short breaks every now and then only to reply to your roommate’s texts. Thank god she’s more than a few states away, Hina is never one to shy away from challenges and she also fell victim of an irrepressible (and, quite honestly inexplicable) fascination with the Classics gang, as she likes to call them. She’d meet Geto’s gaze and bluntly ask if she could join their table with one of her charming smiles, not even bothering to mouth the question or get up to discreetly inquire. She wouldn’t care about heads turning and strangers whispering and you can’t shake the feeling that they’d actually end up indulging her. If as a cruel joke or out of genuine interest, you’re not sure.

As you rise from your seat to start collecting all the exam prep materials, a single glance is all you allow yourself. It’s enough. Suguru is elegantly supporting his head on hands clasped underneath his chin, the thought of his feline eyes having been set on you the entire time teasing your spine with a shudder. Satoru follows suit: he’s been clearly chewing the top of his pen and he lets it rest between his pearly teeth as thin lips stretch into a cheshire smile right as your gaze slips away again, the attempt at giving yourself some sort of composure seemingly amusing him.

You clear your throat and unceremoniously shove books and notes into your leather backpack, the pads of your fingers growing increasingly cold as the air in the library suddenly changes. There are less students sitting at the dark, agarwood tables now, the sunset must be a mere half an hour away and for some silly reason, the greenish glow the little electric lamps cast over the chestnut of the shelves and the burgundy of the walls turns unsettling.

It’s nothing, you tell yourself. Then why are your hands shaking while you gather the few remaining tomes you couldn’t fit in your bag?

Let them look if they want to. You’re going to keep your head up and march by their table and the disturbing, fleeting moment will recede to the back of your mind as soon as you’re out of the library, free to focus on a matter of the uppermost importance: what the hell to get for dinner.

Still, the tweed of your skirt feels itchy on your legs and the opaque black tights are sticking uncomfortably to the skin. You hope the way you loosen your tie is casual enough, as opposed to the booming clacking of your chelsea boots along the polished pavement.

You know you’re not imagining the way the table grows silent as you approach it, every nerve deemed alert by gazes still stubbornly, shamelessly fixed on you. And yet, if they think you’re going to attempt some sort of approach, they better brace themselves for a big, fat, disappointing—

“Excuse me?” his voice is as soft as velvet, melodious in a way you never would’ve guessed. It stops you in your tracks and, for some reason, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up at the same time.

Suguru offers one of his saccharine smiles when you meet his eyes.

“We have a debate going on. Perhaps you could help us settle it”

Utahime is staring at you with an arched brow, not entirely hostile but indifferent enough to make it clear she’s far from being interested in your opinion on whatever matter. Her sister’s arms are loose around her slim frame, one hand comfortably resting on her naked thigh, skirt sitting shockingly high on her legs. Shoko doesn’t smile but shfits slightly forward in her chair when you glance at her, head tilted to the side in quiet anticipation.

“I doubt it” you reply, not adverse either but certainly resolute enough to elicit a chuckle. Yeah, you don’t fucking like that Yu guy.

“Oh, come on” Geto softly reclaims your attention once more “I’d love to hear your opinion on the matter”

“She doesn’t have any valuable opinion on the matter. Let it go, Suguru” Utahime starts to impatiently tap on the book in front of her with a pencil.

He hums, seemingly pensive.

“Is that so?” the fake disappointment in his voice makes a vein on your forehead throb.

You narrow your gaze and shift the weight of the books you’re holding to your left arm. Whatever stupid game or bet this is, perhaps it’s time for someone to teach these assholes the school is far from being their personal playground.

“What debate?”  

Gojo’s smirk isn’t but a teasing curve in your peripheral.

“Some of us believe that Roman literature is too derivative of the Greek one to be deemed original” Suguru doesn’t add a question to his statement, he simply leaves it hanging in the air as he waits for you to bite.

And hell, you do.

“Only because genre-defining works are all in Greek. But should all epics be judged against Homer? Should all history be judged against Herodotus, all comedy against Aristophanes?”

Nanami’s eyes lazily travel to you for the first time but you don’t falter, nor you let Utahime’s scoff distract you from Geto’s magnetic gaze.

“So we shouldn’t compare, say, De Rerum Natura to any of Epicurus’ writings?” the challenge he offers is polite. You simply shrug.

“You could, but would that take away the fact that it remains one of the most original pieces of all ancient literature? Lucretius was the first one to write a didactic epic about philosophy. Latin literature found an innovative way to build depth and exist within an already established tradition, why would you reduce it to being merely derivative?”

He stares back for a moment too long before offering another one of his enigmatic smiles.

“It’s six to one, Hime” Yu grins as he faintly throws an eraser that hits her arm.

“Oh, give me a fucking break” she groans, gaze now fiery confronting yours “Latins were assimilators, borrowers. I’m willing to bet your ignorance goes as far as arguing that everything Virgil has ever written won’t be forever inferior to anything Homer’s ever thought”

You ignore Yu’s low, impressed whistle and take a second to weigh each word she’s spat. Then, you offer a gentle smile.

“Comparing works of literature, particularly when composed in two different languages and centuries apart, is awfully subjective. But sure, I will bite. The Aeneid, the Illiad and the Odyssey are all written in dactylic hexameter but I would argue that, in general, Homeric poetry is just not as cohesive, not as harmonious. The Aeneid is briefer and still, it manages to evoke both Homeric epics beautifully. We can’t hold Virgil accountable for the fact that Homer came first, can we? You’re focused on the wrong comparison anyway, you should’ve asked me to pick between Virgil and Ovid”

Shoko’s giggle is sweet enough to dim Utahime’s deep scowl. She kisses her shoulder and whispers something about knowing when to admit defeat, chocolate eyes never leaving your figure.

“Requiescat in pace” Yu sticks his tongue out and effectively dodges the eraser being thrown back at him, boyish grin making his eyes glimmer with malice.

“Would you like to sit?” literal honey trickles from Suguru’s relaxed tone, a closed hand now resting on his cheek, index finger pressing to the temple. He looks absolutely unfazed by his friends’ antics, much more focused on studying you instead.

“Suguru!” Utahime’s hiss is certainly rewarding, just not enough to convince you to accept what suddenly feels like an offer there is no turning back from.

Right as you’re about to speak, Satoru straightens up in his seat and you can no longer resist the urge to glance in his direction. You’ve heard about his eyes before, the not so quiet gossiping involving the group always surrounding him the most. He truy does look as perfect as they say, disturbingly so actually, so much that he instantly reminds you of Aether, son of Erebus and Nyx, personification of the sky.

The way he smiles makes you take a tentative step back for good measure: whatever element balances the blessing of such ethereal beauty, must be extraordinary in its darkness.

“Cubitum eamus?”

It’s impossible to blink back your surprise, one that has the corners of his lips curl further up. The boyish inflection of his voice doesn’t pair well with the wicked glint in that otherworldly, challenging stare.

Suguru lets out a good natured huff, Nanami’s scoff sounds much more sincere. It gives you the courage not to succumb to the blood rushing to your cheeks, undesired heat making your insides churn with sincere revulsion.

“Malo mori quam foedari” you murmur it as a prayer to keep yourself safe and don’t spare any of them a single other glance as the urge to get out of the room finally becomes unbearable.

Some would find the deviant laughter that follows you all the way outside of the building amusing, perhaps even satisfying. But all it does is leave a rancid taste in your mouth and as you make your way back to your dorm, you can’t help but feel as if you have taken one too many steps toward something you really don’t want to have anything to do with.

Satoru watches your upside down figure walk away, chair leaned back as he throws his head back in laughter.

“Suguru” he smiles, the tip of his tongue running along his upper lip while he still eyes the wooden doors that have swallowed you “she’d be fun to play with”

“You’re repulsive” Kento’s eyes run along the page he’s so focused on reading, disapproving frown by now a habit more than a timely reaction.

“I think we should get to have a little fun” Shoko ignores her sister’s glare as she sweetly mirrors Gojo’s smile, hand warm as the pads of her fingers sneak underneath Utahime’s skirt to soothe her irritation.

“Let me have her first” Satoru feels ignited as he meets his best friend’s gaze, he recognizes the dimmed flame beginning its faint flicker within it “let me ruin her just enough for you”

Suguru knows he’s lying. All Satoru does is take and take until there���s nothing left, he consumes everything he touches way before anyone else has the chance of getting their fair share. He lives for himself and is still arrogant enough to like that Geto can see right through his bluffs, gets a twisted pleasure from pushing his limits more and more to find out when the wire will snap.   

Sure, he’ll let him have it his way yet again. Suguru doesn’t appreciate rush, knows that true corruption takes time and, boy, does he have all the time in the world.

index vocabulorum:

requiescat in pace - rest in peace

cubitum eamus? - will you go to bed with me?

malo mori quam foedari - death rather than dishonor

[rosemaeridream]

a bout of amnesia and a personality change || aespa - yjm

yu jimin x reader

warnings: high school AU, reader sorta became an OC - deal with it, reader thinks jimin is conceited - idk why she's been nothing but a sweetie, jimin likes jazz, reader is also so awkward i apologise but jimin doesnt mind, this is just fluff and gay panic, angst if u take off your glasses and read upside down

Synopsis: "The only way I’d ever see her praise Jimin was if she hit her head and woke up with a bout of amnesia and a personality change."

word count: ~6k

You don’t consider yourself popular. Everyone in your grade knew you, and you’ve spoken to almost everyone, but you weren’t part of the popular clique nor did you want to be. You preferred your mismatched gang of six. Yes, they were loud and (really) stupid most of the time, but it was out of the limelight and they felt safe; you liked it that way. 

However, you were sometimes jealous of the popular group, specifically one Yu Jimin, who whispers shadowed wherever she stepped. You often watched large crowds split in the school grounds when she walked through or admirers gift large bouquets of flowers whenever she was found on campus. 

Jimin wasn’t only popular with the student body though, due to her straight A grades, her pristine attendance record, and her charming fake (?) smile, she was also known as the model student with her teachers. 

However when it came to first hand experience with the girl, you had none. Call yourself superficial but you didn’t think you needed to know the girl to have her whole personality written out on a blank sticky note. 

Jimin was a teacher’s pet; the pretty girl who lived next door. Someone who thought of themselves so highly, they didn’t need to interact with or let anyone below their league get to know them. 

At least that was the impression most people had.

To further affirm your thoughts, most of your friends had similar opinions. Chaeyoung thought she was much too withdrawn for the whole school to fawn over her. Both Yena and Yunjin were indifferent, agreeing that she was too much of a people pleaser to be interesting. And Chaewon’s small interactions had left her a little scared of the girl, saying she was cold and intimidating.

The only person who had come to her defence was Minjeong. They shared a few classes together and she often cleared the air in situations where Jimin was bad-mouthed by your friends. 

Once you had asked why she defended Jimin, and the other girl just shrugged, told you that appearances aren’t everything, and that you should try talking to her for once, unlike the rest of your grade, then went back to eating the food in front of her. 

But you didn’t want to get to know Jimin. Not when your eyes met across the courtyard and sickly sweet smiles were sent your way (they were fake, right?). Not when you heard her melodic voice floating around the hallways. And definitely not when you attended Yunjin’s field hockey games and spent the entire time watching the wrong person.

The only way I’d ever see her praise Jimin was if she hit her head and woke up with a bout of amnesia and a personality change. - Lee Chaeyoung.

ABOUT HOW YOU ‘HIT’ YOUR HEAD:–

You just really needed to go to the bathroom. Knocking on the door again, you yelled out. “Can you please hurry up? There’s no other bathroom free.”  Your brother was inside, no doubt dying his hair another colour.  “Just wait a moment, I’ve got gloves on and can’t open the door.” You waited 10 more seconds then decided to take matters into your own hands. Patiency was never your finest trait, and definitely not when your bladder was about to burst.  “I’m opening the door so if you’re making out with someone in there you better stop.” You half joked. The door opened revealing your brother looking mildly embarrassed. You didn’t care what he was doing as long as you could relieve yourself.  Entering the small room you started to manoeuvre over to the toilet in the corner of the room. “What colour are you dying it this time?” You peaked over your brother’s shoulder to see bleach and a bottle of toner on the sink.  But before you got an answer your foot caught on the corner of the shower mat. To stop yourself from slam dunking your head into the toilet bowl, and a possible concussion, you reached out and grabbed the closest thing you could reach. Unfortunately that was your brother who had just picked up the bowl of bleach on the sink.  Curse that stupid shower mat.  You hadn’t hit your head on the toilet, thank god, but something, perhaps worse in your opinion, had happened. The bowl of bleach that was in your brother’s hands was emptier than it had been a moment ago.  Neither you nor your brother were known for thinking long term. Usually that resulted in stupid decisions that seemed like good ones in the moment. Like unleashing your dog to let it play with a small puppy, then watching as it bolted off to chase a pigeon into the distance.  Or something like bleaching the rest of your hair could definitely be one of those moments.

You were late again. You hated Tuesday mornings anyway, there was no reason to have assemblies when they had one on Friday morning too. At least you could sneak into the school without having to get a late slip. Quietly weaving through the mass of students you quickly found your friends where they usually sat.

“Have I missed anything important?” You whispered to Minjeong who was definitely not paying attention to the current staff member with the microphone droning about what you assumed to be a writing competition. Minjeong jerked out of her trance and turned to you.

It looked like she was about to say something but instead of words coming out of her mouth, a small yelp was in their place. Instantly a teacher shushed her. Minjeong covered her mouth with her hand and nodded her apologies to the teacher.

By now everyone was looking at the both of you. Knowing they would look away in a moment, you tried asking Minjeong again. “Jeongie? Did I miss anything?” You nudged her with your elbow.

Instead of Minjeong, Yunjin, who was sitting two people down the row, replied. “Clearly it’s not what you missed.”

“What do you me-” You were cut off by the teacher shushing you all again. Everyone was still watching you, the staff member still droning on about the competition.

Minjeong reached up to wrap a finger around a strand of your hair.

“It’s so...” she mumbled. “Blonde.”

“What the hell, Y/N?” Yena’s head poked out from even further down the line.

“Choi Yena.” A stern voice sounded from behind them. “Would you please be quiet!”

Yena looked like she wanted to say more, but she held back, only to not get herself into trouble.

Everyone was still staring at your head. You could feel it; beady eyes burning through the now blonde hair.

Somehow, you blame it on a stroke of luck, and maybe your (newfound) ability to escape from awkward social situations, you slipped away from the crowds after you were dismissed from assembly. Avoiding all the people looking at you (and your hair), you quickly made your way to class.

Instead of heading towards the steps that your gang usually congregated by when the lunch bell rang, you turned and made your way towards the building off to the side of the campus. 

The school library was bigger than it looked. It was split into three parts; an open plan common room directly in front of the door; to the right, a maze of clustered shelves extended to the back of the room, where a door led to the study alcoves seniors had authority over.

Entering the library you immediately turned right, wanting to be hidden by the hundreds of tall shelves gathered in the room. Book spines blurred together as you quickly weaved through the room. Soon you’d be lost in the maze. Sighing in relief once you were far enough in, you slowed your pace down, occasionally taking note of the names of books surrounding you.

The further into the shelves you got the more disorientated you became. You would have scolded yourself for not paying attention to where you came from if you weren't suddenly standing in front of Yu Jimin, her nose in a book, sitting on the floor below you.

To be frank, you probably wouldn't have said anything to her, like the rest of your grade, if Jimin hadn't looked up at that very moment.

“Uh- h- uhm hi?” You uncharacteristically stuttered. “I’m sorry. I uh- just wanted to get away from the uh- outside- I mean, people watching... me…? No, you see, I ah- dyed my- Well I didn’t dye it, I actually slipped, but you don’t need to know that- but… well ah-” Pretty brown eyes watched you curiously as you stumbled through your greeting. You shut your mouth when you realised that nothing you had just said made any sense. 

Mirth filled the pretty brown eyes, as her lips pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You’re Kang Y/N, right? I think we share P.E. class.” You didn’t say a word, worried that you would embarrass yourself again, though it didn’t matter, as the girl sitting in front of you kept talking.

“You know, I almost didn’t recognise you at all.” Her eyes flickering across blonde hair. “It suits you.”

“A- ah, thank you.”

Jimin gave you a warm smile and went back to her book. It was fake, you could have made a mad dash for the Bible in the library just to swear on it. However, you felt like you were missing something. 

“Uhm…”

Jimin looked back up from her book. “Do you need anything?” Her smile was warm, as if she were a close friend. That made no sense, you didn’t like her and she didn’t know you.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Asking anyway, you pointed to a spot near where the other girl was sitting. “The hair dye thing is kinda giving me a lot of unwanted attention.”

Jimin’s smile turned knowing. “Sit for as long as you like.”

You arrived in the library earlier than you had the day before. Honestly, you didn’t know why you were here. 

Your friends had all texted you the day before, asking you where you had been at lunch. You had been oddly defensive; instead of telling them that you were in the library sitting next to someone you had previously said you wanted nothing to do with, you told them that you were practising guitar in the music rooms. 

Maybe you’re a little bit stubborn… or maybe you just didn’t like proving Minjeong right. 

Making your way back through the maze you navigated yesterday, you found the spot that Jimin was sitting in empty. You frowned. Maybe I took the wrong turn? The books that lined the shelves around you were definitely the same as before. Perhaps she’s just late? 

Lost, you sat down in the same spot. You couldn’t just sit here looking like you were waiting right? That would be weird. You turned to look at the wall of books behind you. Just grab one, it doesn’t matter as long as it looks like you’re doing something. You slid out a book from directly behind you. The cover was red and had a book shaped like a matchbox in the upper centre. 

“Fahrenheit 451, huh?” You snapped your head to the direction of the voice. Jimin was standing there, pretty brown eyes studying you. “Good book.”

You didn’t know what to say so you just nodded your head. In that moment you cursed the universe for not letting you take a book that you had already read. Jimin walked past you to move towards her spot. The book she held in her hands was different from the one she was reading yesterday. 

“What are you reading?” Jimin looked down at the book in her hands, then turned it around so you could read the title.

The book was well read. The edges of the cover were slightly peeling back to show the cream of the paper below and one of the corners had been bent back as if it had been shoved in a bag that was already too full. When you read the title you almost laughed.

“Harry Potter?”

Jimin hummed in affirmation. Pretty eyes turned into pretty crescents. She sat down in her spot, and made herself comfortable.

“What happened to the book you were reading yesterday?” You were too curious not to ask.

“I finished it.” The girl cracked open the worn book midway. The conversation felt like it had ended. 

You didn’t like that.

You froze. Why didn’t you like that? Why were you here instead of with your friends outside? What did Jimin have that your friends didn't? She has those pretty brown eyes… your mind supplied. Slapping yourself mentally, you refused to let yourself think about it. If anything at all, you can unpack the thought later.

You ended up getting more comfortable where you sat, stretched out your legs and opened up the book you had picked earlier to the first page.

“What house are you in?” A voice interrupted you from reading the first sentence. You turned to see Jimin looking right at you. Her eyes are wide, like she’s genuinely curious.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your Hogwarts’ house?” Jimin slightly motioned the book in her hands towards you. “You have read Harry Potter, right?” You thought you heard the other girl mumble something like ‘or seen the movies’ but you weren't sure.

“Oh, I’m a Slytherin.” You grimaced. “What about you?”

“What do you think I am?” Jimin smiled and you weren’t sure if it was fake anymore. If you didn’t know better you thought it was said rather flirtatiously.

“Uhm, don’t take this the wrong way, but I would’ve placed you in Slytherin.”

“Would’ve?” Jimin raised one of her eyebrows.

“Well,” You avoided all eye contact. “Seeing you sit here right now, makes me think you’re more of a Gryffindor. But-that-might-be-stereotyping-Gryffindors-to-be-confident-around-people-they-don’t-know-very-well-and-I-know-it’s-more-nuanced-than-that-but-it’s-just-the-vibe-that-comes-off-you-with-the-way-you-speak-and-smile-at-me-when-I-don’t-know-you-and-you-don’t-know-me-and-you-keep-talking-to-me-like-we-do-know-each-other-and-it’s-slightly-offputting-but-not-in-a-completely-bad-way-it’s-just-strange-that-you’d-do-that-because-like-I-said-you-don’t-know-me-and-I’m-gonna-shut-up-now.”

A light giggle punctured the silence around you. Oh great, she’s laughing at me. However, when you finally gained the defiant courage to look Jimin right in the eyes, you found no malice there. Only mirth had spread through those pretty brown eyes again. 

You found that - although you didn’t like embarrassing yourself in front of anyone - seeing Jimin find some enjoyment out of your socially awkward behaviour was rewarding enough for you to want to humiliate yourself over, and over again. 

You mentally scoffed at the thought of it. You don’t want to be Jimin’s royal jester. Not when she smiles at you like you’re a puppy chasing its tail, and if she ever looked at you with that expression again, you would happily don a fool’s cap and prance around like an idiot, just to make it last a few moments longer. 

“You’re right…. And you’re much better at reading me than other people. I’d place myself in Gryffindor.” Jimin mused. “You shouldn’t doubt your gut, Y/N. Most people guess Slytherin and leave it at that.” The way your name was formed by Jimin’s mouth was maddening. You almost sqeaked out of nervousness. Why on earth were you behaving this way? You were acting like you had a school girl crush on Jimin or something.

Instead of replying you just gave Jimin a smile that looked more like a grimace, and looked down at the open book in your lap. The words swam on the page; you wouldn’t be reading anything while the other girl was nearby. You snapped the book shut, and stood up too fast for someone trying so hard to seem casual. Jimin watched as you stuffed your book into the closest free spot you could find.

“I, uh- just realised I have to give… uhm, give… give Chaeyoung the money I owe her! You know how people get when you… ah, yeah, borrow money from them? So I’m just going to do that... Yeah.” You blurted out. Using your ability to escape from awkward social situations, which has come in rather handy lately, you gave Jimin a dorky thumbs up, a short farewell, and then practically power walked out of the library.

You didn’t visit Jimin for the rest of the week. In all honesty, you were sure that Jimin didn’t want you awkwardly rambling your way through her breaks. But you didn’t spend much time with your group either. Half embarrassed that you willingly spent one (and a half!) lunches with someone you had bad-mouthed, half stressed about an upcoming guitar solo, you ended up spending your time in the music rooms hunched over your guitar. 

So when you navigate your way back through the shelves the following Monday, you refuse to ask yourself why you’re back here again. Maybe it was because people were still staring at your blonde hair, making you feel uncomfortable through all the unwanted attention. Or maybe it was because you had seen Jimin being handed a letter of confession by a tall, broad-shouldered boy who had a sharp smile earlier that morning. 

The shelves themselves were comforting, looming high over you so the only thing in sight were books, the only thing you could smell was slightly musty paper, and if you put your hand out the only thing you’d touch would be- 

Jimin.

She’s looking up at you with a quizzical wonky smile, eyebrows furrowed, as if to ask why you were almost stepping on her. 

Eyes widening, you step back, fumbling for words. “Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.” You sound like an idiot. Resisting the urge to hide your face in your hands, you drop down to sit next to her. 

She doesn’t have a book with her today. Instead she’s got her knees to her chest, with her phone resting on top, opened to what looks like a wall of text. You point at her phone with a finger, then try to crack a joke. “Can’t get your head out of a book, huh?”

Jimin turns her head, eyebrows still furrowed. There’s something about her expression that makes your stomach do a tiny little backflip. You still yourself, forcing the sensation away. Then she takes something out of her ear. “Sorry, I was listening to music. What did you say?”

She didn't hear you.

Well, there goes trying to be confident. Staring at her, you open and close your mouth, trying to come up with something to say. You can’t even remember what you had said to her before, all your thoughts had stopped.

Forcing yourself onwards, you do the first thing that comes to mind and grab the earphone in her hand. She cocks her head, confused, and opens her mouth to say something, but you get there first. “What are you listening to?”

Her eyes flick over you, then to the shelves of the library, and that’s when you know you’ve just made things awkward. You’re about to apologise, palm flat with the earphone resting in the centre of it when she speaks up. 

“Almost Blue by Chet Baker.”

Absolutely no bells were ringing in your head. You were sure you were looking at her like an idiot, so you focused on her phone screen instead. Clearing your throat, you tried to make your voice come out confident. “Oh, right. That’s a good one.”

There must have been something about the way you said it, or the position in which you’re sitting, hand stretched out with the earphone resting on it, or maybe even a combination of both, because she lets out a small laugh. It tickles your ears. You move your gaze back to find her already looking at you, smile lines perfectly wrinkled. 

“It’s jazz.” She says after she gets past her laughter. Her hand moves up to yours and plucks the earphone from where it sits, then moves it to your ear. Putting an earphone in for someone has always been an awkward experience for you, but you’ve never been on the flip side of the move, and it’s different. Really different. Her fingers brush your ear, and you stop yourself from moving, whether that be from trying to help her ease the bud into your ear, or because you can feel your heart pumping erratically in your chest. 

Once the earphone is in, she retracts her hand and turns up the music a couple notches. You process the soft piano complimenting the solo trumpet, creating a sound you’d expect in a noir film where the main character is sitting in a dark bar, mulling over a drink. It’s jazz. She said it was jazz, but like it’s jazz.

After a couple moments of silence she pulls you from your music induced haze. “I like this one a lot, it lets me unwind.” You watch as she twiddles with her fingers, the image of her being handed the letter this morning no longer there. Only a timid Jimin, lips twisted in a nervous smile, is left behind. The Jimin who sits in the library during lunch, reading Harry Potter. The Jimin who listens to jazz.

“It’s good. Very… detective in a slump.” You force yourself to speak, realising that she wants your opinion on the music. The way her smile brightens tells you that you said the right thing.

You spend the rest of your lunch break with Jimin rambling on about the various jazz standards that were playing, and the ways in which they affected the industry. And, honestly, you could have stayed there longer.

You decided to sit with your friends today. Yena had rung you up yesterday afternoon to pester you into having lunch, asking every question under the sun, and making sure you knew that she was being neglected. Instead of getting on your knees and apologising profusely for your misconduct, like Yena would love, you just brush her off and promise to buy her boba the next time you hang out. 

It was slightly odd being around loud people again. Between spending time in the quiet library with Jimin or alone with your guitar, the sheer hecticness of your friends was overwhelming. Yena and Chaewon were loudly bickering over food like usual, resulting in Chaewon whining for Yunjin to back her up, while Chaeyoung kept prolonging the argument by adding in extra points for both of the girls. Yunjin starts to argue with Chaeyoung, telling her that she’s fueling the fire, and steals the food, holding it in the air which makes both Yena and Chaewon screech.

You sigh and block them out, suddenly wanting nothing more than the peace of the library. And maybe pretty brown ey-

“You okay?” Minjeong pokes at your arm. She has a sandwich half stuffed in her mouth which would be adorable if you didn’t know how much of a little shit she could be when she wanted.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I just forgot how annoying you guys are.” You send her a stiff smile. 

Minjeong just stares you down. It’s concerning how soulless she can be sometimes. Straightening your back, you force a slightly less stiff smile, hoping to placate her. Somehow, it works, (She took pity on you.) and her expression morphs into one more resembling concern. “Wanna go to a practice room? I can play guitar with you.” She offers. The both of you had spent countless breaks alone with your instruments, picking out a vast array of rock and metal songs to learn together. You had even joked with her about starting a band together once.

However, today you weren’t feeling rock or metal or even pop.

“Nah,” You show her your hands, palms up, fingers wiggling. They were calloused and the skin at the tips of your fingers was peeling. It didn’t hurt much anymore, just small pinpricks of pain when you touched something the wrong way. “I should rest my fingers.”

She nods and draws her attention back to Yunjin being chased around the courtyard by Yena who’s screaming expletives. You silently thank the universe that she doesn’t prod any further, especially since on every occasion previously you had accepted the offer, even if your fingers were covered in bandaids.

Drifting off in your thoughts, you wondered what Jimin was doing. Did she have her head in a book today or was she listening to music? If she was, what was she listening to? Was she happy spending time alone in the library without you? At that final thought, you pulled yourself from your daze. Why would Jimin care about you enough to not be happy when you weren’t there?

There’s a shriek and you look up to see Yena on top of Yunjin, Chaewon trying to pull her off. Minjeong chuckles beside you, taking her phone out of her pocket to record. When you sigh again, she turns to look at you.

“You know you can go to the library, right? Yena might miss you for a moment, then she’d remember that Chaeyoung called her a shrimp that one time and spend the rest of the break badgering her.” There’s a slightly more worrying yelp from Yunjin and Minjeong stands up to take care of it. She takes a couple steps forwards, then spins to face you, while pacing backwards. “You don’t have to listen to rock all the time. Jazz can be good too!”

You’re left stunned as Minjeong turns back around and helps pull Yena off Yunjin. How did she know? Minjeong isn’t stupid, but no one knew you were with Jimin in the library. And how did she know that Jimin even liked jazz? There were so many questions and too little answers, so instead of sitting there dumbly till the bell rang, you shoved your things into your bag and headed towards the library. 

The library was a sanctum; quiet, safe and had attendants who were as close to heaven as possible. Or at least, Jimin was as pretty as an angel. But you never interacted outside of the library. She was different when the walls of books weren’t the only other thing you could see. You felt too intimidated to talk to her when she was trailed around by admirers, or when people whispered in her wake. On too many occasions you found yourself zoned out of your friends' antics, your eyes travelling to find Jimin walking around campus, an bored smile plastered on her lips.

Sometimes you got close, brushing past her as she stood outside her classroom while waiting for her teacher. Opening your mouth to say something, anything, then meeting her eyes and seeing uninterested blackness instead of the pretty warm brown that reflected in the overhead lights of the library. Deciding to shut up and move on. 

Or that one time Jimin had walked up to your group to talk to Minjeong about a class project. You stood behind Chaeyoung, using her tall figure to keep you hidden. Chaewon and Yunjin blabbering away, too focused on each other to see how intensely you were staring at her. Jimin wrapped up the conversation pretty quickly, then her eyes flicked to you poking your head around Chaeyoung. She kept her eyes on you, looking like she wanted to speak to you too. Then Yena burst your bubble, slapping your butt playfully as she joined the circle, making you break eye contact. When you looked back Jimin was long gone. 

You were in the library first today, it was cold out and the heater had just been put on. So you sat with your knees to your chest trying to preserve your body heat. Jimin wandered in a couple minutes later, carrying a bouquet of flowers. She carelessly dropped them to the floor, before plopping down next to you. The way her shoulders slumped and her head drooped made it obvious that she wasn’t exactly happy.

“Did something happen?” You ask cautiously. She doesn’t meet your eyes, and reaches to grab your hand instead. Her eyes flicker to the bouquet, then she speaks up, her voice tired, mopey. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Mmkay.”

After a couple seconds, she moves her head to rest on your shoulder, not saying a word. You sit there just as quietly, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or bring up something she doesn’t want to talk about. The soft scent of the flowers lingered in the air. You couldn’t help but feel resentment towards them. One day she’d eventually accept a bouquet and your time with her in the library would be cut short. 

The heater hummed in the background, generating heat that enveloped the both of you. Apart from the hum, you could only process Jimin’s slow breaths, the rise and fall of her chest relaxing you, even if you were still deeply concerned for her. You hated admitting that you were wrong, normally being one to succumb to pride and stubbornly refuse to budge. But maybe you were wrong, just this once, about her. Maybe she wasn’t the stuck up ice-princess that you had thought.

Without a word, Jimin moves again, this time pulling on your waist so that you’re in between her legs. You feel like a teddy bear, her head over your shoulder and nose tucked into your chin, while her arms encircled your torso. The position made your heart flutter, but you pushed it down. Jimin’s clearly not good right now, and you can’t be thinking of her in that way. 

You just let her hold you. It was bringing her some form of comfort and that was better than any of your awkward reassurance could do. Sometimes, silence had a way of bridging gaps that words couldn't cross.

You never figured out how Minjeong knew that you were spending all your lunches with her. It hadn’t occurred to you to ask Jimin, and you knew that asking Minjeong herself was out of the picture. Instead you shamelessly spent your time with Jimin, slowly but surely warming up to her. If someone were to watch you sitting together they would observe two things. One; Jimin was completely used to your presence to the point that you could walk in complaining about being cold and flop down in her lap, whining that she was hogging all the warmth, and two; you stared a lot and Jimin was either unaware, or plainly, just didn’t care.

Staring at Jimin was your purpose, you decided. No one could be as mesmerising as her, even from underneath, looking up at her chin. That’s where you were today, your head in her lap, her book resting on your chest. You were meant to be reading along with her, nodding everytime you ‘finished’ the page so she could turn it, but in reality you found your eyes drifting to her instead.

Her eyelashes are long; they flutter every so often, whether it be from her eyes moving line to line through the book, or to look down at you, looking up at her. Whenever your eyes met you quickly flicked them back to the book, fighting against the warmth on your cheeks.

At this point she’d know, right? You had given up on indicating that you had finished a page a couple turns ago and that meant she knew… right? But Jimin never said anything and nothing about her behaviour suggested that she cared.

So you kept looking. It was your purpose to observe her in her most comfortable form.

Your train of thought chugged along in a daze, studying the curve of her bottom lip when suddenly someone switched the lever for the tracks.

Shuffling in her lap, you softly pinched her arm to grab her attention. “Jimin?”

She finished off her sentence, then looked at you questioningly, a quiet noise of curiosity forming in the space between you.

“Why do you always come to the library?” You stared up at her. The thought had popped across your mind several times in the past couple weeks, once when seeing her actively avoiding a group of the people you consider her friends; another when you accidentally eavesdropped on some girls in the bathroom gossiping about the ‘Elusive Yu Jimin’.

She closed the book and let it rest on your chest. Looking away from you, she seemed to be considering something. Then she furrowed her brows and let out a little breath. “What was your first impression of me?”

Words came to your mind. Conceited. Spoilt. Teacher’s Pet. Fake. Calculating. You couldn’t admit that to her, so instead you just kept staring, frozen. She doesn’t prompt you further though, and your train of thought wanders again. 

Jimin wasn’t any of those things; you had realised that weeks ago. In fact, sometimes you had the feeling that she was a little insecure about herself; occasionally a sad sort of look flashed across her eyes, one that you wished you’d never see again.

And you wished you had just spoken to her in P.E. instead of making assumptions about her. You missed out on so many moments that you could have had if you weren’t so superficial.

Then it hit you like a truck; the answer to your question. 

Everyone knows Jimin. She’s pretty, she’s popular, she gets asked out once a week, she has good grades, she’s aloof, but never outright mean..

But no one knows Jimin.

Your mouth parted slightly, guilt forming a lump in your throat. To realise that you’d fed into it too? You hadn’t tried to get to know her, you’d just put her in a box and moved on with it. 

She finally makes eye contact with you. A hint of unease swirls in them. You shut your mouth.

Then you decide to stop being such a pussy and front up. “I thought you were kind of a bitch.”

Her mouth drops.

“I don’t anymore!” You clarify quickly. “I just… assumed. You’re like so…” You bring your hand up from where it rests on your stomach to motion at her. She worries at her lip. “You give off the vibe that you’d tell me to fuck off if I wasn’t up to your standards.”

Jimin only stares at the book on your chest. 

You groan, thinking you’ve majorly fucked up. “Jimin… you know how much I hate admitting that I’m wrong.”

She sways her head, still keeping her eyes only on the book. 

“I was wrong about you.” You force out and finally her eyes meet yours.

“You’re anything but a bitch. You’re sweet and kind and funny and stupidly gorgeous, and I get it, you know, why so many people line up for a chance with you. Why you come here with a bouquet or a box of chocolates every other day.” You reach up to hold her cheek from below. “But I also understand why you don’t like being the subject of all that attention. Everyone just assumes what they want about you, like you’re a prize to be won. Or that you’re a stuck up narcissist who thrives on all the attention. Or that you even like bouquets.” Jimin giggles softly at your words, gazing down at you softly with her pretty brown eyes.

“And I was one of those people too. I regret it, but I can’t change that.” Your voice comes out determined, like you’re trying to prove to her that you’ve changed your perspective on her.

She looks down at you, gaze unwavering as she considers her next words.

"You’re sweet," she begins, her voice gentle. "But I do like flowers… as long as they’re from the right people." Her fingers trace absentminded patterns on the cover of the book resting on your chest.

There’s a beat of silence.

“And if I gave you one?” You ask hesitantly.

Jimin’s lips pull into a smile and this time you know it’s not fake.

“It’s for Jimin, right?” Minjeong stares at the bouquet in your hands. 

Both Chaeyoung and Yena whip their heads around to stare at you. “For Jimin? Yu Jimin?”

You flush brightly. Considering a couple months earlier you wanted nothing to do with the girl, you supposed it was a bit of a surprise for them. 

Chaeyoung grabs you and shakes your shoulders. “Did you hit your head? Do you have amnesia?”

“No, and no.” You laugh softly. “I just never gave her a chance. You know how it is.”

Minjeong pokes your arm and points to a figure in the distance. You perk up, instantly recognising Jimin from the way she walks. About to take a step towards her, Minjeong grabs your wrist and you turn to look at her questioningly.

“Is now the time to say I told you so?”

A/N: stop putting jimin in slytherin she doesn't belong there

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron; part four

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): cussing, mentions of violence, kind of fluff, lil bit of angst but not much.

author's note: so so sorry for this taking a few days to upload! i've been out of town all weekend and was getting ready for the eras tour concert i went to! i tried to write while i was at the hotel but it just wasn't happening (alcohol might've taken a part in that but anyways), regardless we're back and i'm excited to write for u guys again :)

It was Friday night and your heart was racing. Although you weren't entirely sure why you felt so queasy, you boiled it down to the fact that you were going to be spending the night surrounded by a bunch of Kooks. You realized ahead of time that you were going to feel completely out of place amongst the upper class clique, a group of people totally different than you. Truth was, you were a Pogue through and through. You resided on the south side of the island, also known as The Cut. A majority of the time you were with your friends at the chateau, hanging on the hammock with JJ, taking bikes to see the ocean, and maybe even at the boneyard, but in no ways was any aspect of your life as opulent as a Kooks', or even close to it.

Your first impression even matched your identity, a dead giveaway that you were undeniably a Pogue. In any other circumstance you would have embraced what position you were born into, but if you wanted to win over Rafe Cameron's heart, and trust, you were going to have to put in some substantial amount of effort to get to that point. Therefore, when the opportunity to go on a 'date' with Rafe was finally proposed, you went straight to Sarah to lend you the most full Kook outfit she had in her closet.

Despite hating the identity you were trying to hide behind, you had to admit that Sarah's sense of fashion was impeccable. Lucky for you, she dressed you in a sage green square neck gingham mini dress, with a small slit up the thigh that you knew would be observed by Rafe's wondering eyes. You needed this to work at all costs, even if it meant that you were losing part of your dignity by dressing up like a braggart.

"Are you excited?" Sarah asked through the speaker of your phone, her question clearly rhetorical and rather needling.

"I just want to get this over with." You admitted with a whine.

"Well, JJ and Pope are going to be there so it won't be so bad." Your cheerful blond friend encouraged you with a hopeful smile, which had the right intention but seemed to fail at getting you through the circumstances at stake.

"Yeah, that makes it even worse." You grumbled, fumbling with the hooks on your sandals hurriedly.

"C'mon, I know it's Rafe we're talking about but he seems to have some sort of interest in you, so you should be fine." Sarah inspirited your optimism against the obvious signs of uneasiness you had been exhibiting for an hour over the phone.

You sighed, figuring that Sarah truly did have a point. Rafe seemed to have grown some kind of absorption with you since you had started working at the golf course, which essentially was a part of the plan, but you never expected him to grow so fond of you so quickly. Who knew all it took was a short skirt and batting your eyelashes to get Rafe Cameron to fawn over you. Go figure.

"Yeah well- Shit." You were interrupted abruptly by the sound of knocking at your front door. The noise alone was enough to make your stomach turn, as if it wasn't already before. Your body temperature rose once it had settled in your mind that it was more than likely Rafe at the front door, probably waiting impatiently in that damn polo he always wears. In that moment you wanted nothing more than to sneak out your bedroom window and run far away, but that wasn't an option and this date was crucial in order to convince Rafe you were something special.

"What? Is he there?" Sarah asked with confusion at the sound of urgency in your voice.

"Yeah he's at the front door, I think. I gotta go, text you later." You waved off your friend in a hurry before ending the call. You began to scurry around your room in search for your most sweetly-scented perfume, hoping to advance your level of allurement with an aroma that would likely inveigle the nescient boy. You planned on getting him right in the palms of your hands, so you decided on a fragrance of vanilla with hints of gourmand notes.

You felt satisfied with your appearance once you got a glimpse of yourself in your bedroom mirror before you exited the room, thinking to yourself that Rafe was definitely going to have his eyes on you all night, and the thought alone had a fire lighting up in your stomach.

You opened the front door and was immediately met with the sight of the dirty blond Kook, a visual you were slowly starting to become oddly familiar with. Your first reaction was to take in the view as you surveyed his clean-cut appearance, but as your eyes trailed his tall stature, you realized he had been doing just the same back to you. The only difference was that his stare was much more intense with a hint of longing beneath it, and it made you feel small under his gaze as he inspected every inch of your body - especially the exposed portions of it.

"You look beautiful." Rafe acknowledged your graceful presence, silently admiring the way your dress adorned your figure remarkably.

You smiled in return, "You don't look bad yourself, Cameron."

Your comment earned a small smile from the boy, noticing that his cheeks began to blush at the same time.

"Just for you, princess." He teased in response, a remark that sent heat coursing through your entire body. Rafe was notably always making suggestive comments and phrases towards you at any chance he could get, but for some reason, the way his nickname for you rolled off his tongue made you feel like you could melt right then and there.

You followed closely behind him on the way to his car that had been parked in your driveway after quickly saying your goodbye's to your parents, only to be put into a state of shock when you had realized Rafe had opened the passenger door for you to get in. Your heart seemed to flutter once again at his gesture, an act of chivalry that you had never experienced before.

"Thank you." You expressed your gratitude for his actions with a feeble voice as you hopped into the sumptuous-looking car.

"No need to thank me, angel." Rafe expressed much to the liking of the butterflies floating in your stomach.

You watched as the broad blond entered the driver's side door and started the car engine, finding yourself fixated on the prominent veins in his arms and hands as he did so. You had thought to yourself that in that moment, despite all the chaos that surrounded Rafe Cameron, maybe he wasn't as awful to be around as you initially anticipated. Sure he was a bit tempermental at times, but never towards you. Matter of fact, you were quite sure that Rafe wouldn't raise a hand at you, one being because he was gentle with you in every interaction you two had, and two because he wouldn't dare take away his time to fawn over you. He didn't want to be the one to rip that smile off your face that captivated him so much.

You enjoyed the scenic view of the coastal town and all of its serenity, watching out the window as you peered up at the clear night sky above you as the moon lit up all that surrounded you. Perhaps you became a little too entranced in the view, a state of ambedo, since all of the sudden you were brought back into reality by the feeling of a warm hand gently placing itself on the top of your exposed thigh. Your eyes shot down to where the warmth was coming from, your eyes then trailing up from the hand on your leg all the way to Rafe's side profile. It seemed as though Rafe could sense your stare as he instinctively glanced over at you for a brief second, catching your gaze.

"Is this okay?" Rafe asked tenderly, motioning to his hand placement. The innocent gesture creating a moment of kairosclerosis for you, and even a little appreciation towards him. You swore to yourself that if you had told the other Pogues what had just happened within the previous ten minutes, none of them would have believed you. But it was all real, and you were there, experiencing the extent of Rafe's affinity that no one could imagine he had.

"Yeah it's okay." You flashed a small, yet accepting smile at him. Rafe seemed to take note of your assurance as you noticed the tension in his body language relaxed, his fingers sliding further into your inner thigh yet remaining in a place that wasn't too high up for you. It was clear Rafe had an awareness of your boundaries and didn't want to cross them, which you were thankful for.

"So, how does a girl like you end up with people like John B and JJ Maybank? I mean, I know you're a 'Pogue' and all, but those guys are total losers." Rafe inquired, causing you to frown subtly.

"They're still my friends," you defended, "and they've been there for me more than my actual family has." You admitted, your voice falling more quietly as you confessed.

"What do you mean by that?" Rafe questioned as he looked over at you with furrowed brows, contemplating the severity of the situation you were talking about.

"My parents don't care what I'm doing or where I'm at. I basically live at John B's house and the hardly notice when I'm gone," you scoffed to yourself quietly, "I'm in no better position than JJ or John B. Half the time it's like they're the only family I have."

Rafe frowned as you spoke, becoming evident that he was taking in your every word by the way his jaw clenched as you told him about your family situation. You had also noticed that his thumb began to rub against your skin in a soothing manner that sent cold chills throughout your body.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to have a kind of fucked up home life." Rafe joked dryly as he eyes stayed glued to the road ahead, his expression turning somber.

"How?" You asked, confused as to how someone as wealthy and affluent as Rafe Cameron could even began to understand the detriments of living in a bad home.

"My dad is a control freak who plays favorites. He always chooses Sarah, everything is always Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. She could run him dry and he'd still treat her like a fucking angel. Me, however, he could care less about unless he wants something done." Rafe groused while his grip on the steering wheel became tighter. You realized the subject of his father struck a nerve somewhere in Rafe, which was a cause for concern. If Ward had been that careless with his son, what was he willing to make him do for him?

You wanted to calm down the ill-tempered boy before you were going to arrive at your destination, mostly because you knew that if he showed up in such a state and spotted one of your friends, you would be screwed.

"Well it's any consolation, at least you have me to understand having a fucked up family." You quipped in the effort to try and make the atmosphere in the car light-hearted again. It seemed to have worked out though, because Rafe started to laugh back at you.

"That's right, at least I'm not a Pogue either." Rafe jested in return.

Your jaw dropped flippantly, pretending as if you were offended by his comment. "Oh, fuck off." You shoved his shoulder lightly.

"Just sayin'." He shrugged, still unapologetically chuckling at his own joke. What an ass. You thought.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The two of you had finally arrived to the park in which the movie was set to play at. You realized upon arrival that practically everyone on the island was there, causing your heart to sink. If there was anything you hated, it was large crowds of people. Your breathing began to fasten as you observed the large quantities of individuals entering the place and taking their seats on the grass in front of the large projector screen. You fiddled with your hands and began picking at your fingernails in order to distract yourself from the anxiety that was brewing within you.

"You okay?" The sound of Rafe's baritoned voice breaking you out of your disassociation.

"Yeah," you replied mousily, "just hate big crowds."

"Well, you'll be with me and if anyone says anything to you I'll handle it myself." Rafe affirmed, lending you a hand to hold as you stepped out of the vehicle.

"Is your first instinct always violence?" You asked.

"Only if someone is messing with you." He smirked, taking your hand gently as he guided you over to the area in which his group of friends were sat.

You watched from behind Rafe as he greeted each one of his fellow Kook friends with handshakes and by dapping them up. The longer you stood and waited for him to introduce you to the rest of them, you could feel the awkwardness killing you internally. The thought of having to meet new people made you went to throw up already, let alone a group of stuck up Kooks who were seemingly intoxicated.

"This is y/n," Rafe finally turned around to acknowledge you, throwing his arms over your shoulders as he held you by his side proudly, "she's one of Sarah's friends."

"Didn't know you were banging your sister's friends now." One of the boys retorted, causing the entire group to snicker in return.

"Yeah yeah, fuck off, Ryan. You were fucking Kelce's sister for like a month." Rafe riposted at the snarky brunette Kook who quickly became quiet and practically mute following the comment.

"You did what?" Kelce asked furiously, glaring over at the other Kook who had his head hung low in order to avoid eye contact, and likely a bigger confrontation.

"Anyways, she's hanging with us tonight so don't be a bunch of dicks." Rafe asserted amongst the group, causing their full attention to advert to him. You were left in shock as you noticed they all obeyed to his demand without further question. You took it as a sign that Rafe was likely the ring-leader type of friend amongst his group of company. You had to admit though, the sight of all those Kooks taking orders from Rafe was humorous.

Eventually, you were able to take a seat next to Rafe on the set of lawn chairs that were scattered across the park. Quite honestly, you weren't paying attention to the movie that had just begun what-so-ever, too caught up in the way you were surrounded by a group of men that you barely knew at all. You tried your best to remain calm and collected in the given situation, trying to keep your attention on the screen in front of you, but your brain simply wouldn't retain any of what was happening on it. Rafe wasn't much help either, as he was too engaged in a conversation with Topper and Kelce to notice your boredom.

Until you heard the sound of someone behind you trying to gain your attention.

"Psst, y/n! Psst, over here!" You heard a familiar voice call out to you in an obnoxiously loud whisper. You quickly turned your head around as your eyes wandered the premise, seeing no sign of where the noise was coming from.

"Y/n, over here!" The voice half- whispeed, half-shouted again. This time guiding you to where exactly the sound was and who it was coming from. JJ.

"What the hell, JJ?" You mouthed in bewilderment, motioning your head over to Rafe who was merely 5 inches apart from you.

"Check your phone!" JJ mouthed back as he pointed down to the phone in his hands. You did as told and seen you had unread messages from your blond friend in your notifications.

*JAY-J <3: had to make sure you were safe from all those damn kooks*

You rolled your eyes at JJ's message, letting out a half-hearted laugh as you looked down at your phone. You had completely forgot who was sitting right next to you until you were caught off-guard by the sound of Rafe's voice interrupting you.

"Everything okay?" Rafe whispered to you as he looked at you with concern, mistaking the noise you made as a sigh instead of a laugh.

"Oh yeah, just breathing." You lied in an attempt to brush Rafe off, but you failed miserably at getting his attention off of you.

"Do you want something to drink? I can go get you anything if you want." He offered, which set off a light bulb in your head and a perfect escape plan to come into mind.

"Actually, I'll go get it," you smiled," I need to stretch my legs anyways, been sitting all day."

"Okay, I'll save your seat for when you get back." Rafe smiled as he watched you stand up from your seat. Part of you felt guilty for lying to the boy, but you needed to see your friend desperately and if you were surrounded by Kooks for any longer, you might have lost your mind.

*Y/N: meet me at the concession stand. i bought some time to get away from rafe for like 10 mins* You texted JJ in a hurry while you hastened over to the concession line. You stood off to the side of the building with your arms cross, standing up on your tip-toes occassionally to try and spot your friends among the sizeable crowd full on Pogues, Kooks, and Tourons.

You were taken by surprise once you felt a pair of hands grab you by the waist from behind, spinning you around to come face-to-face with sight of a blond boy who was a relief to see in that moment.

"JJ!" You squealed once you realized it was none other than your best friend with Pope accompanied beside him. JJ smiled in reaction to your excitement, taking you in once again and spinning you around in the air swiftly. You felt giddy as you felt JJ's hands hold your hips steadily, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck once he had placed you back on the ground.

"Alright guys, enough with the rom-com fest here. Rafe could find us at any moment." Pope interrupted your and JJ's moment of jubilation with his typical panic. You rolled your eyes at his pessimism, although he did have a point. If Rafe were to have spotted your Pogue friends, he might just kill them both.

"Good point." You agreed, taking a step back from JJ's embrace and looking at the two boys standing in front of you as they awaited your response, "I just needed to get away from all those Kooks for a minute. If I had to listen to them talk about Midsummers any longer I was going to drive my head through a wall." You griped.

"Wait, Midsummers?" Pope repeated back at you as though the topic sparked an idea in his mind.

"Yeah, that thing where a bunch of Kooks get together and play dress up." You stated, still in a state of confusion as to what was brewing in Pope's brain, considering he's always coming up with something.

"You should go with Rafe."

"What?" You and JJ both shouted in unison at Pope's absurd request.

"I mean, you wanna gain Rafe's trust right? It would be the perfect opportunity to do so. Meet his family, live like a Kook with him for a night. Plus, you won't even be alone. JJ and I are gonna be working there that night, and Kie and Sarah are still considered as Kooks so you know they're going, too. I don't think it's a bad idea." Pope explained.

"Pope, there's no way in hell she's going to-"

"I'll do it." You cut off JJ just before he could reject Pope's suggestion, causing both of the boys to look at you in disbelief.

"Y/n, what? Do you realize what you'd be getting yourself into?" JJ apprised much against his friend's idea. You knew it was just JJ being his normal stubborn self, but you didn't have time to pay any mind to it. You knew that Pope's idea was the best bet in order for you to work your way into Rafe's life with ease, and so you knew what you'd have to do.

"JJ, I know you're worried and all, but this is our only chance at getting one step closer into whatever fucked up plan Rafe and his dad are conspiring against us. It's either I do this, or we're done for." You pleaded up at the distressed blond who looked down at you with an earnest look in his eyes.

"JJ, she'll be fine. We're all going to be there so you know she won't be alone." Pope added.

JJ sighed in defeat, the realization that you weren't going to back down washing over him. He grazed his hands through his shaggy blond hair as he placed a hand on his hip, "If any of this goes wrong, I'll kill him." He warned.

"Everything is going to be fine, Jay." You reassured, stepping forward to place a quick kiss onto the apple of his cheek. His body seemed to relax some at the gesture, his hands falling to your hips again as he peered down at you.

"I'm serious, y/n. I've already got enough reason to punch that asshole right in his face, let alone if he does something to you."

"He won't. You need to trust me on that, yeah? I can assure you it'll all be fine." You convinced once again, looking over at Pope in hopes he would help the situation, but instead he looked back at the two of you with judgement.

"You guys are strange." Pope added, scoffing at your guys' obvious shared displays of affection. It wasn't abnormal for you and JJ to be so hands-on, especially in a time where JJ was in a state of worry. None of the other Pogues seemed to understand the relationship you and JJ had going on, but they chose not to question to because more than likely, you two barely even knew what was going on.

"Well, who do we have here?"

taglist (if i missed any of u i apologize, pls let me know if u need or want to be added!!): @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm (if i forgot to add you, please let me know!)

[slafkovskys]

neeeed more possessive quinn and angel thots pls

luke was going because a good percentage of his friends were still going to umich and he had only left a few months before, so spotting him on the sidelines at one of the first football games of the season wouldn’t be weird. jack was going because luke was going and because she had promised to get him to a darty while he was on campus. jack would never turn down a good party.

quinn, however, had said no when she pouted her lips at him in the kitchen upon finding out he was the only one not going. he said no again as he busied himself on his phone beside her in the nail salon and she batted her eyelashes towards him as her tech made the intricate design he had chosen on her fingernails. he said no for a third time when she was between his legs. he was stronger than his brothers, she couldn’t just ask him to do whatever she wanted while he was a little cum dumb and get her way. they both knew that.

it’s when she’s modeling her game day outfits for them in the living room that he caves. her prancing around in a navy blue cheer skirt that barely covered her ass and a white tank top with a maize-colored m in the center has him feeling something. the last time that quinn remembers feeling like this, this pang in his chest, the twisting in his stomach, is when he was ten and luke was six and his youngest brother stole his favorite action figure out of his room.

he remembers seeing it sticking out of luke’s backpack as they were walking to the bus stop and ripping it away, yelling something about it being his because it was. luke had no right to take something that was so obviously his (going through a toy story phase months before, he scratched his name on the sole of the toy’s boot so there’d be no question) and now here he was, almost twenty-four years old and watching the girl he shares with his brothers strut around their living room in little outfits with his alma mater plastered on them.

he watches as jack tries to slip a hand up her skirt and she shoves his hand away while luke watches bemused, “see, angel, i’m just showing you why you need to be careful about bending over when we go out-”

“it’s a good thing we’ll all be there, then,” quinn clears his throat and her head whips around to look at him. “y’know, to make sure nobody tries anything and you get to wear your cute outfits.”

she squeals and bounds over, straddling his legs easily. his hands go to grip onto the back of her thighs as she presses a quick kiss to his lips, “oh, thank you quinny! it’s going to be so much fun!”

fun was absolutely the last thing that quinn was having.

she had made good on her promise of dragging them to a darty and he felt so out of his element. it had been over four years since quinn had been a student at the university, everyone he knew (with the exception of her) had long graduated and moved on with their lives.

luke had cliqued off with dylan, ethan, and everyone else from his year. jack had gone off with brisson somewhere and he was really hoping that wasn’t him he saw in line for the mechanical bull. quinn had been attempting to make himself invisible as he also balanced keeping her in his sights. he was always aware of her, even more so that they were in somebody's crowded backyard and she was likely immune to the eyes on her as she downed another seltzer.

there’s one guy, tall and unnaturally blonde, who had been watching her similar to how a predator watches prey. quinn stands up a lot straighter when the kid steps away from his friends at the same time that she does and he watches with narrowed eyes as she finds her way into luke’s arms. the guy stops in his tracks and his shoulders fall and quinn can’t help the smug smile that graces his lips.

he watches as she turns in luke’s arms, his brother’s hands a light weight on her stomach as she holds onto his wrist, as her eyes search the crowd for something, for someone. her eyes land on him and he sends a quick to finger wave to which she pouts. she uses the hand that wasn’t holding onto luke to beckon him over and he goes easily, leaving nico mid-conversation about some golf trip he was trying to pitch to his other clients.

“quinny,” she whines and he knows she’s tipsy. luke doesn’t say anything, only sparing his brother a glance as he approaches and loosening his grip on their girl when he realizes it’s only him before turning his attention back to mark, “what’s wrong?”

he shakes his head, “nothing-”

“it is,” she interrupts and he raises an eyebrow, “you’ve got you’re annoyed face on. c’mon, tell me.”

he wants so badly to reach out and touch her, pull her out of luke’s arms and into his just so everyone at this party knows that she’s his too, but he can’t. instead, he sighs, “it’s nothing that you need to worry about, angel. just have fun. do you want another drink?”

“i want you to tell me the truth, quinn.”

and she never called any of them by their names. it was always quinny, jacky, lukey, or some pet name. she only did that when she was mad or annoyed and he could tell that she was over him not telling her what was making him have such a sour expression. she narrowed his eyes and he sips his beer before giving into the girl, “there’s a guy that won’t stop staring at you. it’s pissing me off.”

“you’re jealous?” she sends him a playful grin and his mouth is back to being set in a hard line. she shakes it off and leans back into luke’s chest, humming at the feeling of the boy’s thumb hooking into the waistband of her skirt, “where is he?”

“over by the bouncy castle.”

“over by the- oh my god. tripp?” she looked at him like he was crazy, “he’s in my creative writing class! he’s really nice and we help each other out with assignments and things.”

“oh, he’s nice?” there’s venom coating the word as he says it, “does he know that you have a boyfriend?”

“yes, he knows that i have a boyfriend, quinny,” she rolls her eyes before something switches, “but you know what he doesn’t know?”

quinn raises an eyebrow at the almost teasing grin that stretches across her lips. she taps at luke’s arm and they immediately fall, setting her free. she closes the couple foot gap between them and quinn’s eyes go wide as she smooths her hands down his chest. he warns, “angel-”

“he doesn’t know that i have two other boyfriends, too, and that’s not fair,” her lips fall to that signature pout as she grabs onto his hands and places them so suggestively on her ass. quinn can feel the end of that stupid skirt against his fingertips as her breath fans over his jaw, “it’s okay to be jealous, quinny. i’m just as much yours as i am luke’s or jack’s.”

“we’re in public,” quinn’s jaw clicks as she presses her lips to his neck. they had never done anything like this outside of the privacy of the lake house and god, was quinn’s brain going to short-circuit any minute. luke’s not even paying attention to the two of them, but he catches dylan sparing them a glance and when his eyes find quinn’s he quickly looks away.

“i know. i’m letting tripp know that my boys take care of me,” she leans her body more into his and it’s like muscle memory when his fingers grasp her ass cheek. he knows his thumb is resting right over the red ink that reads ‘bite me’ as she giggles, “he’s watching us.”

quinn smirks when luke finally looks at them and where quinn’s hand is. he nods, raising his drink to his brother before pointing something out to ethan. quinn’s chest rumbles as she grabs onto his shirt, wondering how long they could disappear without anyone noticing before the game started, “good.”

[alchemistc]

goon | bucktommy | chapter three

check out the hockey glossary here (updated for chapter two)

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two

read Chapter Three on ao3

Tommy's got a plan for the break. It's the same plan as he has every year: spend six days losing every bit of conditioning he's managed to gain over the course of the season by slowly becoming one with his couch, catch up on all the shitty shows he's been neglecting, eat his weight in potato chips and ice cream. Then he'll have one day before practice starts up again where he does weight training so long he wants to throw up, and back to the grind. The usual.

He gets the text as he's rebuilding his nest on the couch, three quarters of the way through day three, and for a long long moment he considers ignoring it.

His phone vibrates on the table again, and Tommy stares apologetically at the movie already queued up to play.

Drinks at Rare Bird tonight. says the text from Chimney, and then, below it, See you at eight. Love Actually can wait

Not a question mark to be found, and he's about to point that out when another text comes in, this time from Ravi.

You have to come tonight

No additional context, again. He's - not exactly unfamiliar with becoming the anchor for an anxious kid trying to find his place - a little mentorship, a little wing-manning, a lot like the guy who'll sit there and just be steady and quiet when someone is overwhelmed and needs a focus point. Panikkar is calm on the surface and an absolute nightmare right under it, a stunning swan with little webbed feet kicking up a storm underneath where all his vulnerabilities are laid bare. Tommy's used to cracking a terrible joke just to force someone so breathless with laughter they forget they'd been holding it, and he's used to that person immediately finding themselves at ease around him.

He has no fucking clue how the front office had known to look for someone to fill that role on the team, but it's become very clear over the course of the last month or so that this in one of the hand-wavey intangibles he's been brought in for.

And Greenway getting traded two days before the All-Star break had fundamentally changed something in the locker room.

There’s always a clique situation in a league like this — D-Pairs like Buckley and Diaz spending so much time together they have their own language that’s incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t known them as long as they’ve known each other; stars like McKinley and all the guys he’s convinced the front office to sign because he can make them fit the play style they’re going for; the group of guys that jump between third and fourth lines with their heads on a swivel for the first opportunity to take a stab at more minutes; the boys living in their buddies basement apartment and the ones who own a McMansion somewhere in a gated community half an hour away from the rink.

Greenway had made the cliques circle in, shore up for the storm. And Tommy’s an easy-going guy, gets along well with everyone, but — something had lifted, the day they got the news, some tension easing, the groups getting a little less exclusive even just in the single game they’d played after he was gone. There’s no one for Tommy to say “I told you so” to, but he’d patted himself on the back for knowing it, anyway.

Tommy's trying to convince himself not to cave to Ravi and Chim when another text comes in, this one from Diaz.

We're taking bets on which turn Buck's gonna eat shit on this year, you in?

Christ, they live eat and breathe the game.

Tommy's not any better.

Twenty bucks says he beefs it on the third turn, Tommy sends back, before turning off the television and heading towards the shower.

---

There’s a certain artistry to meeting up for drinks with teammates. The dynamics of running into fans has changed, over the years. The social media boom had made it a nightmare for a few years, and Tommy’d spent about five of them walking and talking the faces of the league through panic attacks and generalized anxiety like he was a damn therapist, before he’d discovered that just telling them to go to fucking therapy was enough.

He’d seen a switch after finally escaping the Edmonton bubble, in a world that had spent eight months dialed in to social issues and gained a startling awareness of personal space, so it was a little easier, now, to roll into a bar and meet up with three or four guys without crowds of people demanding selfies. Tommy wasn’t likely to be on anyone’s radar, but he tended to be noticed out in public when he was out with everyone’s favorite.

Today he rolls up with Eddie Diaz in the passenger seat of his truck and hands his keys to the valet. The kid is still sporting a face full of acne, a foot shorter than Tommy and eyeing Diaz curiously as he swivels out of his seat, and Tommy has a moment where he’s sure the kid is gonna forget himself and gush about everyone’s second-favorite d-man in this town, but when his eyes go wide his gaze flicks from Diaz back to Tommy, and Tommy feels completely out of his depth.

“I — sorry, this is so rude, dude, but — you’re my sisters favorite player, man. She’s like, obsessed with you.”

Tommy’s brows go up, and he can feel Eddie’s eyes on the back of his neck as he points at his own chest. “Me?”

“Yeah, man — I mean she sorta hated you when you were with the Kings, but in a weird, like, ero —.” He pauses, and Tommy is grateful for the both of them. “Anyway. She was super excited when we signed you. We were at the St. Louis game. Fucking epic, man.”

Tommy — flounders. It’s been years since he’s gotten anything more than a look of recognition and a glance behind him to see if anyone else has tagged along with him. When Diaz rounds the hood of the truck and smacks a hand firmly down on Tommy’s shoulder, the kid smiles and redirects his gaze straight to Tommy. Which is weird as fuck. What the hell is in the water in this state?

“Thanks,” Tommy says, and Eddie grins charmingly at the kid.

“That’s Kinard, for you. Fuckin’ epic.”

The kid does something complicated with his face, like he’s realized some sort of gaffe, and turns an apologetic look on Eddie. “You’re also, like — I mean you’re great, Mr. Diaz.”

Tommy can’t hide the snort that escapes when Diaz’s face twitches, like he’s trying his very hardest not to react to the name. The kid looks like he’d like the ground to open him up and swallow him whole, so Tommy reaches into his back pocket, pulls a twenty from his wallet, and slaps it in the kids hand before he can say anything else. “Just in case your shift ends before we’re back,” he says, when the kid opens his mouth like he’s going to protest, and Tommy makes a mental note to ask the manager for his name, maybe send the kid a couple tickets to their next home game. Not that the seats need filling, in Denver, but — yeah, he’s a little flattered and it’s always fun to make someone’s day with shit like that.

Tommy shoots the kid finger guns as they say their goodbyes, about half to make the kid feel less self-conscious and half because he’s never been able to break the habit when he’s feeling a little overwhelmed himself. “Tell your sister I said hi,” Tommy says, and it’s Eddie’s turn to snort as they swing through the doors in search of the rest of their party.

---

Ravi’s hands go up the moment he spots them being led through the crowd by the hostess, and he does a celebratory little dance in his seat before he seems to realize his fingers are covered in nacho cheese. Chimney rolls his eyes from Ravi’s left as he reaches for one of the linen napkins on the table, and the woman sitting next to Chimney smiles.

He’d forgotten Chimney was engaged. The last time he’d spent any length of time with Chim, he’d been seeing a girl who didn’t know a single true thing about him.

She’s pretty — long dark hair and deep brown eyes, a quirk to her lips as she smiles at him that feels vaguely familiar, though he can’t quite place it. When he leans in to shake her hand, she introduces herself as Maddie Buckley.

Which he’d known, in the abstract. Of course he’d known, he’s heard Chim and Buck chirping at each other good naturedly for weeks now, really leaning into the idea that they’re soon to be brothers.

She tilts her head to the side, eyes on him as he settles in next to Ravi, Eddie pulling out the chair to his left, and Tommy recognizes that mannerism too — sitting in the locker room after optionals, Buckley already done with his after-practice workout and parked on the bench a few feet away from Tommy (who’d spent the same half hour on the ice taking passes on the move, trying like hell to find a rhythm that could help him keep up with Panikkar) plying him for stories about the year he’d played for the Hershey Bears.

They’re well situated to watch the skills competition, tucked into a corner with a television hanging overhead in every direction, all of them tuned into the pre-show, and as a server comes by to grab their drink orders Tommy stares around the table at the piles and piles of starters laid out and covering most of the available surface area. Chimney clocks his raised brow.

“Listen, there are only so many times a year I’m not under constant threat of death and dismemberment from my future brother-in-law if I so much as think of junk food. Ravi and I are going to enjoy this while we can.”

Maddie tsks. “He’s not that bad,” she intones, although she’s smiling like she’s conjuring a fond memory of her brother being an absolute terror. And it’s not that he hasn’t heard these stories before — Buckley’s sort of renowned for the health-nut thing around the league — but Tommy had also downed three cream cheese pastries with his coffee on the walk back to their hotel rooms, back in Utah, and Buckley hadn’t said a word.

“It’s the silent judging that really gets to you,” Eddie throws in, head tilted up towards one of the TV’s, where they’re showing highlights from the last few All Star competitions.

“He’s never silently judged me in his life,” Ravi contradicts, digging deep into the nachos in search of the strip of chicken buried under the pile. “He’s very loud about it. Whoever gave that man an iPad and Karen Wilson’s spreadsheets should be drawn and quartered.”

“Oooh, are we talking shit about Buckley?” comes a voice from his left, and Lucy Donato sneaks past him to snag a chip from Ravi’s plate.

Donato is technically the most decorated athlete of the lot of them — three golds and a bronze in women’s hockey, Tommy doesn’t have a fucking clue why she’s been an equipment manager for the team for going on four years now but the team loves her, and she seems to enjoy the work. Maybe it’s the roar of the crowd, maybe it’s the camaraderie, maybe the fact that she’d grown up with four brothers factors into it and she’s just happy to have that lovingly antagonistic relationship with the boys again.

“Is this is a safe space to remind everyone that it is not my fault Taylor Kelly wrote that tell-all article for the Athletic?”

At Tommy’s side, Eddie makes a face. “We don’t have to talk about her.”

He’s used to being a little out of the loop, when it comes to the intricacies of team dynamics — every team has groupings of people who live in each others pockets for eight to ten months out of the year, and know a little too much about one another. Tommy’s used to being a witness to it from the outside, to being the aloof mysterious one someone is always bound and determined to crack.

“We could talk about Marisol, if you want,” Lucy says, licking cheese off her finger as she settles into the seat to Ravi’s right, and Eddie shoots her a warning look. “How about Kim?”

“Okay,” Chim interrupts when Eddie opens his mouth to retort. “Hen’s late, but we are still taking bets. Tommy’s got the third turn, my lovely future wife and Eddie are both naïve optimists who think he’s going to learn from last years embarrassment and make it all the way to the end without letting the pressure get to him, I’m going first turn when he tries to build momentum. Ravi, Donato?”

Tommy lets the conversation wash over him. When his drink comes, he doesn’t even get a chance to sip at it before Donato is leaning over the table to steal his spear of cherries. Hen gives the bar-food laden table a raised brow when she arrives with her wife and jumps right into giving Panikkar shit about the condo he’s trying to purchase in one of the nearly-gentrified neighborhoods downtown. When the pre-show ends fifteen minutes later they all turn their attention to the televisions overhead, and Tommy sips at his Old Fashioned, wishing he’d ordered a beer instead.

There’s an element to nights like these that always make Tommy a little wistful. There’s so much history between them all, so much love. Tommy’s not lacking for friends, but he’s never really been a part of something like this. Like family.

When the server comes around to check in about another round, Tommy asks for the beer menu and orders himself an IPA. Anything to keep him from getting too loose-lipped as they cheer on Buckley and McKinley in their skills events.

Buckley eats shit around the third turn in the speed skate, and in his pocket Tommy’s phone buzzes with Venmo notifications as rest of the table grumbles and pays up.

He’s halfway through his second beer, two rounds into the precision shot competition, when Donato rounds on him.

“So. Kinard.”

“Donato.”

Her gaze is assessing, like she’s trying to pin him down, and Tommy has played this game for too many years to do anything but take a steady sip of his beer. “Thoughts on upcoming theme nights?”

Tommy doesn’t particularly pay attention to those. After the shitstorm of the commissioner banning Pride gear, confirming to Tommy that he’d been right, all those years ago, to lean into the toxicity, he’d stopped caring what sweater the equipment team left in his locker for warmups and just tried his best to keep his head down. He spends a long moment holding eye contact, unsure what exactly the line of questioning is about, before Eddie chimes in on his left.

“You do this every time,” he says, finger out, head tipped warningly, and Lucy shrugs, arms up in a gesture of surrender.

“Just trying to take the pulse of things, Jesus. I’m the one that has to deal with it if one of you fucknuts gets too enthusiastic and tapes his stick up in rainbow colors and he throws a tantrum about it.”

Hen and Karen both swivel their eyes to meet his, and the table goes uncomfortably still. He’d been leaning into the misogyny, the last time he’d played for a team Hen worked for, and he’s still not sure if she’d ever noticed how lackluster the comments had been, how close he’d been to finally breaking free of a truly mindbogglingly shitty coaching staff. They’d ended on friendly terms, but other than a few polite questions about her wife, they’ve never really talked about any of that.

Maddie, shockingly, is the one who breaks through the tension. “You went to the Pride parade in Nashville last summer, didn’t you? Buck always makes a note of the guys that do.”

He’d been terrified out of his fucking mind that someone would come to the outlandish (correct) conclusion that he was there as more than an ally, but Tommy didn’t shit where he ate, and Josi drew plenty more attention than he did, anyway.

Tommy nods. “I can tape my own stick and everything,” he says to Donato, brow raised, and she just nods back, apparently satisfied. It’s a relief, even if Karen Wilson has a curious eye on the finger he’s been nervously tapping against his beer since the original question had been posed. He keeps up the tapping for a few more beats.

“Always good to have another ally in the mix,” Hen says, doing something under the table that makes Karen glance away, and Tommy shifts the nerves into pressing his heel firmly into the floor beneath him. He feels like they’re all talking in riddles, trying to piece him together with faulty information, and for a moment, in this little bubble with people who seem to genuinely care for each other, he thinks it’d be easy to just let the cat out of the bag, say the words he’s had on the tip of his tongue for a decade, and in his heart for at least three.

Beside him, Eddie takes another pull off his beer, leans in to Tommy’s side. “Come watch the game at my place tomorrow? Just me and Chris, the rest of these idiots are doing brunch before coaches shindig.”

Tommy sort of desperately wants to tell him that he has a date with his television that he’s already skipped once, but — well, he likes Eddie, and it’d be nice to finally meet his kid. “Will Christopher snitch on us if I bring pizza?”

Eddie grins. “He absolutely will, but Buck’s wrath isn’t enough to stop me. Is it enough to stop you?”

Possibly, Tommy thinks, but instead of admitting that he just asks Eddie to text him his son’s toppings preferences.

---

On the bedside table, his phone lights up, and Tommy turns to grab it, keying in his passcode and frowning at the name on his notifications.

He swipes into his messages and stares at the text for a long, long minute.

Tommy’s never actually come out to anyone in his life. Never said the words, never had them asked — but there are a few people that have figured it out on their own, a few people who have done the work of supporting him while keeping it under wraps.

Sid’s sent him a picture. Not the usual one where it’s mostly his ass in a mirror followed by the number of squats he’s been doing daily. This is a terrible quality photo, shitty lighting in a dark bar, half the screen taken over by a hairy arm because of the angle the camera is tipped at. It’s four in the morning in Tampa, and Sidney motherfucking Crosby has just sent him a selfie of himself with his arm tossed over Evan Buckley’s shoulders.

Both of them are grinning, faces cast in shadow, eyes towards the camera, and Tommy taps into the picture so he can zoom in, stare at the smile lines around his eyes, the edges of a grin — Sid’s smug look like he knows exactly what Tommy had been thinking when he’d asked him to reach out to Buck.

He stares at it until another text comes in.

You should reconsider how off-limits this one is, he won’t shut up about you. Your name has lost all meaning to me.

Tommy swallows. Breathes through his nose, in-out-in-out. Slides his gaze back to the wide smile and rosy cheeks of Evan Buckley, one more time.

Go to bed, old man, he shoots back and closes out the thread.

He stares at the background on his phone: the crest of the hiking trail he’d found, two weeks ago, on a recommendation from Diaz, which he’d hit right at sunset, pinks and oranges and purples bleeding in to the chilly grey-blue sky.

His phone buzzes with another notification, this time from Buck. Tommy considers ignoring it, letting it sit unread at the very least until the morning. His phone buzzes a second time, and then a third.

The first is another picture — better angle, better lighting, better quality in general, exact same pose, including Sid’s knowing eyebrow and the soft sparkle of Buck’s eyes.

You can fly a helicopter? the first text reads, and then, all caps, YOU FLEW CROSBY IN A HELICOPTER ONCE????

Like an idiot, Tommy taps into the picture, presses down, saves it to his phone, and flips back into the thread just in time for another text.

You bet on me falling :(

You WON on me falling :( :(

He should absolutely put his phone down and go the fuck to sleep, but on the off chance that Buckley is stlll hanging out with Crosby, he doesn’t want to ignore Buck. That’d just be rude.

Used the winnings to buy a kid and his sister a suite for the next home game, he shoots back, and ignores the little thrill that shoots down his spine when three dots immediately appear right beneath his text.

That’s annoyingly sweet

Tommy breathes deep. Four-o-nine AM in Tampa. They’ve got a game that starts in less than twelve hours, there. He sends back: Selfish. The sister is apparently my biggest fan.

I’M your biggest fan, comes the text, followed by typing dots. They disappear, then reappear, then disappear again. Tommy doesn’t mean to time it, but thirty seven seconds later they appear again.

Let me know where they’re sitting. I’ll have someone send them your sweater.

then

You wanna sign it first?

Tommy takes a deep breath, and presses the call button.