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itsdappleagain · 11 months ago

Note

48 for the spotify wrapped

48: My Dead Gay Son from Heathers the Musical

oh boy. this one might be a wild ride. highly recommend you listen to the whole song if you're unfamiliar.

here is a recording of the stage production with...erm...visuals and here is the cast recording with better audio!

They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings! They grab a mate… And roller skate— While Judy Garland sings! They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless! They swing upon the pearly gates— And wear a pearly necklace!

summary: jean paul and antonio fake their own deaths in order to escape the dangerous life VILE has put them on and must secretly watch their own "funeral" in order to make sure no one suspects they are still alive.

---

It starts with a note, slipped furtively into the hand of Carmen Sandiego in a fight both of them know is going too easily. Le Chevre holds her gaze and immediately makes good on his whispered promise to to leave right then and there without a fight, telling the Faculty she defeated him as always.

The note she opens says this:

Antonio and I need your help. We are defecting from VILE- we want to start a future together, but we don't have anywhere to go. We are afraid they will find us...you know what they would do if they found out. You are the only one to have ever left VILE and lived to see another day. Please help us. We know you don't have any reason to, so all we can do is beg. Antonio and Jean Paul

Carmen, of course, helps them. It is her nature. Together, secretly, the three begin to plan the deaths of Le Chevre and El Topo.

Tigress is the unwitting unlucky winner of the "who gets to witness their death" contest. Once everything is set in place and Antonio, Jean Paul, and Tigress are scheduled on the same mission again, Carmen makes arrangements for them and the plan goes into motion.

At 11:44pm Tigress sends the duo into their empty target building to scout it out. At 11:49 the building blows up in a ball of fire and ash and shrapnel, and Tigress must flee before the police arrive, streaked with soot and, against her will, crying.

She is the first one to see the news report that the police found the charred remains of two unidentified bodies in the wreckage of the building. She is the first to alert the faculty, and the one to begin arrangements for El Topo and Le Chevre's memorial.

Back in San Diego, Carmen sits with Antonio and Jean Paul, the air heavy as they watch the news report apparently announcing their own deaths.

"Tigress will be devastated." Antonio murmurs, eyes fixed on the circling overhead shot of the blackened building they'd snuck out of before Carmen had detonated the explosives. "She acts cold, but she will blame herself."

"It will make it all the more convincing." Carmen sighs, tracing her jaw with her fingers in contemplation. "If she knew..."

"Better that she does not." Jean Paul finishes, his hand squeezing Antonio's as they lean on one another. With Player messing with the police reports to make it seem as though their bodies had been found in the explosion, they are effectively invisible. Dead. Wiped off the map, and free to start their new lives together however they wanted.

Almost.

"I'm pulling up video and audio feed now." Player chimes from the base's speaker systems. "Good thing that I have the experience now to hack through VILE's 27 layers of encryption. Where did you set up those hidden cameras?"

"Where VILE always holds its memorials." Carmen says solemnly, her eyes just barely betraying a history of seeing more there than she cares now to admit. Her eyes flick to the two former operatives in her living room and they nod.

"The great hall. Last step," Jean Paul sighs, "see if they bought it."

The video feed flickers to life on their monitors- grainy and half-hidden where the two secretly set it up on VILE Island before their final mission. Everyone leans in, squinting as the fuzziness works itself out a little bit. The camera is hardly a centimeter in diameter, and, considering that, it is doing its best.

There, gathered in the grand hall, is a small crowd of operatives and the Faculty, gathered around the small table displaying their operative ID photos. Tigress, clearly wiping her eyes and trying not to show it, has just laid down a small bouquet by their photos.

Zack emerges from the kitchen and leans over the couch to where they're watching. Ivy hangs slightly behind, still suspicious of Antonio and Jean Paul. Zack whistles, oblivious to the tone in the room. "Too bad we can't have this camera on all the time. We shoulda got a man on the inside sooner!"

"Every minute that camera stays on in there is another minute it risks being discovered." Player explains briefly, his eyes still fixed on the feed on his own screen. "It'll self-destruct as soon as the ceremony is over, when I tell it to. We just need to confirm that El Topo and Le Chevre truly are dead to VILE and then we're out."

Zack hums noncommittally, attention drawn to the camera screen. Carmen's eyes are on the Faculty, watching for a sign of suspicion.

It's a second before Tigress's voice filters through their speakers. She stands at the front of the crowd, head bowed and fists clenched.

"Le Chevre and El Topo were part of my graduating class," she begins, a very un-Tigress-like hitch in her throat. "We spent the entire year training together and while- while we had our ups and downs they were some of my first friends here. There's something unbreakable about entering this life together. The two of them knew that better than anyone. I don't believe in any- any anything, really, but I hope that wherever they are now they're together, and-and that they're happy. You were some of the best, and I'm sorry that it wasn't me in that building instead of you. Rest well."

She finishes so quietly the camera's microphone almost doesn't pick it up, and she quickly wipes her eyes again and retreats back into the small crowd of operatives as they scatter some applause into the otherwise silent room.

When Carmen glances over at the two boys, they aren't making any effort to hide their own tears.

"Do you want to leave?" She asks quietly. "I can finish watching it. This might just get harder."

They both shake their heads. On the screen, Mime Bomb steps forward and mimes a flower, placing it on the table with little of his usual theatrics and retreats as well.

"They look convinced so far," Jean Paul says quietly.

Maelstrom is the first of the faculty to speak once the other operatives have finished paying their respects, and Team Red's base goes silent as he moves.

"While I don't want to spoil the evening-" he begins, and in unison Carmen, Jean Paul, Antonio, and Shadowsan (in the other room but listening in) mutter "here we go," all traces of mourning vanishing.

"-I think it must be acknowledged that El Topo and Le Chevre were two operatives whose passion was more often in each other than in their thieving work." Antonio and Jean Paul share a glance as the professor goes on with just the barest touch of disdain. "I would never stoop to say I celebrate their loss- we have lost two fine operatives in their deaths- but I must agree that I hope they are finding their lives after death more suited to the life they wished to live together."

"Cheers, Professor, we are." Antonio laughs wryly. Jean Paul isn't taking it as well, and his fists are clenched in his lap as he stares daggers at Maelstrom.

And then, suddenly-

"Now, you wait just a minute, Gunnar!"

The gasp in the VILE congregation is echoed across the world in San Diego as the group watches Dr. Bellum shoves her way forward, finger pointed directly at Maelstrom.

"You're skirting around your own prejudices, and I'm sick and tired of it. They were not dirty!" There's a glass of some drink in her hand, which seems to have given her a little courage. "They were not wrong!"

"I never said they were, Doctor, please-" Maelstrom hisses, bending with embarrassment towards his fellow faculty member. All five feet of her shoves him backwards and he stumbles, shocked.

"You have made your steady intolerance a part of our Academy's atmosphere for far too long, Gunnar!" Her voice climbs pitches like a roller coaster. "You're too afraid to say that those boys were-" she takes another sip of whatever she's drinking, "-gay as hell!"

"Doctor!" Maelstrom pleads, but Bellum is on a roll now, and the other two Faculty behind her seem to be finding this just as entertaining as Team Red is. Cleo, in particular, is red in the face and biting her lip in a way the three ex-operatives in the room have never seen before.

"Oh my God." Jean Paul stares in disbelief, all traces of anger gone as Antonio wheezes beside him. "This is going to be incredible."

"Those boys died as they lived- together! And I for one want to follow their example. I'd rather- rather live in happiness now than have to stay half hidden like they did here. Now they're up there- dancing to "disco" music and wearing beautiful necklaces like they never could have done while they were alive here!"

Maelstrom is melting into the floor as he tries and fails to do any sort of damage control, and before he can even open his mouth again, Bellum shouts, "We must carry on their legacy in VILE as we continue our work! It should never have taken their deaths to see it!"

With that, she turns, takes the hand of Countess Cleo, and sweeps her into the deepest, most passionate kiss the academy has ever seen. Antonio, in the middle of a sip of water, shoots it out of his nose.

"Shadowsan, get in here!" Carmen shrieks, cackling, as their room erupts into whoops and cheers. Shadowsan enters, sees what's happening, and has to leave again immediately to save face. In the periphery of their hidden camera, the chaos amongst the gathered operatives seems to be an even worse mixture of hilarity and horror. Tigress seems to have passed out cold onto the floor, and Cleo and Bellum are still going.

"Doctor! Countess!" They barely hear Maelstrom shriek over Brunt's roaring laughter. Zack, Ivy, and Player are in hysterics, which is a level more chill than whatever Carmen, Jean Paul, and Antonio are experiencing. Shadowsan isn't even in the room.

"If I got to witness my own funeral, I'm glad this is how it went," Antonio gasps in between howls of laughter as they watch Cleo and Bellum barely surface for air before they go back in, crashing into their memorial table and sending the two's pictures to the ground. Maelstrom has fled the great hall in a fit, and Brunt is literally crying. Someone gasps "disco!" in between laughs behind them. "Look at all the good our death did!"

"Our legacy will be felt around the academy for decades, mon amour!" Jean Paul wheezes in return, planting his own kiss on Antonio's lips. "I think we are in the clear!"

"What was in that drink, Saira?" Cleo gasps on the screen, voice husky, as they come up for air.

"It's plain Pepsi." Bellum responds, and the last thing they see before the camera self-destructs is the two Faculty members going in one more time as the Academy dissolves before their very eyes.

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lara635kookie · 1 year ago

Text

My Ship Ranking:

Okay so a few warnings about this:

1-I added all the ships I could find. If there is any missing, let me know and I'll add later.

2-This is my opinion and it isn't meant to be offensive to anyone. You can agree or disagree and it's totally fine. If you wanna do your own rankings, I would love to read it.

3-It's a long post that I've been writing for weeks. I made revisions but if something passed through me and you guys notice, you can tell me.

1-Red Crackle:

Is that even a surprise to anyone? Red Crackle is my whole life and owns my entire soul lol. But jokes aside, these two are just so linked and have a foundation not even time and space can separate. Even when they're apart by circunstances, they meet again. They always comeback to one another. Duane Capizzi said in this interview Carmen and Gray "will definitely meet again":

https://youtu.be/PIjX9rGvUmk?si=4paV3k7alKrt-B4f

And I haven't seen other interviews yet but in this specific interview the person just says Duane said Carmen doesn't see Gray in a flirty light and brushes it off asking about Carulia. Then Duane just talks more about Julia's character and then says, "if it's there, it's intentional" which indicates, from what I got, that the double meaning is there, you can choose how you see and interpret it. They could have made the carulia interactions more clear and chose not to do so on purpose. So I imagine the same thing applies to Red Crackle, Carmivy, Jeantonio, etc. The show ended so now is up to us to interpretate with what we have. Even if Duane, and the whole crew of the show overall, ship something, we can ship something different. As the show is not romance focused, we can choose from what we have. And no way there's no people who ship Red Crackle among the show staff. Michael Goldsmith(Gray's voice actor) seemed to ship. This guy seems to as well(not sure tho) considering the way he directed the holy trinity of Red Crackle episodes:

Gray's character is fundamental for Carmen to be the person she is. Can you picture Carmen jumping from the plane with El Topo, Le Chevre or Tigress? She trusted only Gray enough to do that. Without him she wouldn't have jumped, and would not realize what V.I.L.E. truly is about. And if so, a lot later, maybe too late. And at the end, they could have chosen Devineaux, Zari, Julia, or even Ivy to save Carmen with the A.C.M.E. machine. I think it would be kinda nice if it were Ivy so she would have an interaction with evil Carmen, like Zack had at the ferris wheel, and would impress A.C.M.E. instead of just randomly joining it with Zack out of nowhere at the end. But I'm glad it was Gray and then Shadowsan finished the job. The thing that gets to me is that she looks to the crackle rod on the floor and screams:"Gray!". The person she always prioritized the safety of the most was "dead", by her. Then she asks what has she done and I think here she could have also shown some concern for Devineaux and Julia. Specially Julia. Because Devineaux was there, standing, and depending on the impact of the thing that fell on her head, she could have died. And she seemed to faint under a curtain that also could kill her by asphyxiation if she didn't wake up on time. But the only thing she cared about was Gray. She could have remembered on screen she hurt other people too by seeing the crackle rod, but she only remembered Gray and I was like:"But what about Julia? Aren't you worried about her? Carmen is not gonna care about her at all? Really?" "That's it? That's the ending?" I believe that if there was no red crackle shipper there, the show would be a lot different. Gray's character wouldn't be so important as it was if that was the case. Speaking of which, I want a red crackle week because I never participated in one and I want to write an AU about what would have happened if Gray decided do join Team Red on the train to Paris and on the Himalayans and red crackle week is the perfect excuse for that. Also one if Carmen decided to go back to V.I.L.E. on the train to Paris to destroy them from the inside. If we have a Red Crackle Week it could be in December with a Christmas-themed vibe, @redcrackle-week ? Christmas is my favorite holiday and Red Crackle is one of my favorite ships, perfect combination.

2-Carmivy:

Again, no surprises. I've got nothing to say about this two that I haven't said before. They are so in love and they have my heart. I'll never understand why they are so underrated, they deserve more appreciation.

3-Jeantonio:

It's almost a crime that they aren't first place, but they were so close. They are like, the only ship the whole entire fandom agrees it's canon and I got mad respect for them for being able to unite the shipers because everyone likes them and wants to protect them(specially El Topo). They were clearly dating and were romantic boyfriends and I would do pretty much almost anything for them.

4-Cleobellum:

The same thing with Jeantonio, they are just a little bit lower because they don't have the general consent and less moments but to me they are a married couple.

5-Chasari/Zarineaux:

I think they would be the greatest girlboss and malewife ever. Devineaux is a dumbass but he would be Zari's dumbass. The little they interacted I could tell they would be an amazing couple. I just can see it. I can picture all their interactions perfectly in my head. When Zari fell into his arms, and the way Devineaux held her. Zari telling Devineaux not to be in her way and slowly getting softer to him with time, like, they would be such a good storyline. I wanted them together so badly so they deserve this place at my top 5.

6-Chasulia:

These two are a little bit lower because I'm not sure about them. At the start, they are a definite no. But after the fourth season Devineaux was prasing Julia the way she deserves to be praised and treating her better, redeeming for his past actions towards her and actually listening to her. He admited that he was wrong with Julia and did better. They are such adorable dorks together and while I love them as a platonic ship, I feel like they could also work romantically. It would be an interesting plot. I feel like most people think romance and friendship can't coexist but it can and it should. These two combined are one of the factors that make a good and healthy relationship and I feel like Devineaux and Julia have potential to be that way. I would like to know more about their Interpol days like why they were partnered together and how did they got to Carmen Sandiego, etc. So because of their wholesome platonic relationship that may or may not be affected my romance, they are a little bit lower but they are amazing and I love them.

7-CarChase:

This one, I did not expect to be this high up. First, the ship name is just as funny as "Red Crackle". Carmen and Devineaux did have quite a few number of car chases. Second, I'm aware that they have a 12 years age gap but I have a pretty high tolerance for age gaps. While I would rather not have an age gap too big for romantic relationships, 17 years age gap or less I don't mind. It bothers me a little, but it's not that big of a deal. If it's 18 years or more, it bothers me because I go like:"They could be their dad/mom." I just think they would be so funny together. The idea of them is surprisingly good. It makes me laugh when I think of Coach Brunt calling him handsome and Carmen being so done and after maybe going like:"He ain't ugly"(Carmen Sandiego is that kind of show that the animation is so pretty nothing and no one is ugly). And Carmen not wanting to see Devineaux because it's "really not a good time" and then seeying him even more to the point she doesn't mind it and even starts appreciating it. They would be a hell of enemies to friends to lovers story. They interact more than Carulia, but not as much as Chasulia so seventh place sounds about right for them. Not my favorite but I approve.

8-SpinTrap/FlyKick:

I don't know what their official ship name is but they are assigned partners and that, by V.I.L.E. standards, for me, usually means they make out. I wanted more development for both of their characters, which we don't know much about, so eighth place sounds nice. They clearly work well together and have a great harmony so I would say they are a cheaper version of Red Crackle. Like: "Kid:Mom, I want Red Crackle. Mom:We have Red Crackle at home." And they are the Red Crackle at home in question. Still, it works. Of course they are nothing compared to Red Crackle, but they still work. In the, idk three times we saw Spin Kick and Flytrap, you can tell they have the chemestry to convince people they are a romantic couple so this place is well deserved for them.

9-Dokusan:

No, you haven't read wrong, it means Shadowsan and Lady Dokuso. Just hear me out:I can picture it perfectly:They meet at V.I.L.E. academy, they fall in love, they start dating. But then, Shadowsan is promoted to a member of the faculty, a position Lady Dokuso also wanted, but she was happy for her boyfriend anyway. Then, it ends up not working out a faculty member dating a mere operative and then they break up but still love each other, but their relationship was full of ups and downs and they are both bitter and salty about it. Then, Shadowsan backfires V.I.L.E. and joins Team Red and Lady Dokuso can finally have a chance as a faculty member but at the cost of destroying Shadowsan. The drama, the angst, the complexity of loving each other but being different and being in two sides that can't collide or meet in the middle. If you stop to think about it, they are basically a toxic version of Red Crackle that went wrong(Yes, I use Red Crackle as a parameter to measure other couples because they are the standard). So why are they so high up? Because a sad ending love story can also work. Representativity matters and tragic love stories deserve to have some spotlight sometimes.

10-PaperTiger:

It wouldn't be me if these two didn't make it to the top 10. I know Paper Star is a psycho so she can't actually feel love or empathy for anyone other then herself, but hooking up without commitment works for these two. It would also hold some drama like:Paper Star and Tigress start being passive aggressive to each other, then they start being assigned to even more and more missions together and get to know each other better, Tigress falls in love for Paper Star and Paper Star starts caring for her a little bit more than the others and they start confiding in each other and telling things about themselves they wouldn't tell anyone else, and they try a secret relationship because Tigress accepted Paper Star's condition, but they end up not working out because of the V.I.L.E. work and the missions that they put in first place other than the relationship because they aren't El Topo and Le Chevre, unlike them, Tigress and Paper Star have other priorities and other things to worry about than each other. As you can see, I really love some angst, and they had the chemestry for that. Their versatility could also hold some fluff and funny moments like:Tigress judging Jeantonio for cuddling then doing the exact same thing with Paper Star, Tigress saying Paper Star isn't that bad to them(she is bad to everyone else tho, she would only be "soft", in her strange way, for Tigress), them trying each other's clothes and weapons, them teaching each other stuff, going out on dates, they would be V.I.L.E.'s IT couple like evil Carmen and Crackle were people, there's no way around it.

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