#cleaning my kitchen

[holy-anxiety-batman]

i hate!

[theriverbeyond]

"I ate you alive, and you have the temerity to tell me that you’re sorry?" is an underrated line from the pool scene IMO because it connects so tragically with the Great Griddlehark Mismatch, which is that all Gideon wants is to be eaten and all Harrow wants is to never eat Gideon again.

In her most pivotal moment, Harrow confesses her two greatest sins. The second, of course, was that she rolled the rock and walked onto that icy shore, but the first was how she used Gideon. How she isolated her, abused her, relagated her to a life of abject misery, made her both a whipping girl and a meat pumpkin. Harrow ate Gideon's childhood and she ate Gideon's future and she only truly came to regret this after it was too late.

"i gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it" like, yeah. Harrow didn't want it. Harrow wanted to give it back.

[becca-e-barnes]

Cannot stop thinking about making a really submissive Bucky cum until he can't anymore 😵‍💫

I love the thought of working load after load from him and the way that he'd go from being pretty quiet and composed to whimpering and writhing, unsure if he needs more or less of your touch.

Getting him to a stage where he feels empty. He feels like he has nothing left to give you. You've made him watch as you jerk him off with a delightfully lubed hand, squeezing and tugging until his cock is twitching and throbbing and shooting thick, messy stripes of cum against your palm. You don't stop after he's finished though. His release only makes the glide of your hand smoother and the sight of his own pearly cum being worked back over his cock makes him hard again in no time.

"Please." He groans, throwing his head back, exposing his beautiful throat. Your hand tightens around his cock involuntarily and you find yourself almost wishing you had your other hand around his neck. "Please don't make me cum again. I-I can't."

Bless him, his strong thighs are twitching, his muscles tense, trying to force his body to listen to his brain for just a second.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you're empty yet. You gave me so much cum just a few minutes ago." You let yourself give in just a little, leaning over and kissing along the column of his throat, enjoying the light salty perspiration against your lips.

Bucky rolls his hips but it's hard for him to tell if he's trying to lean into your touch or away from it. In truth, he loves feeling like this. He loves having his cum milked from him and having no choice but to enjoy the mind numbing pleasure of your body.

His thighs are streaked with evidence of his own lust and he's almost ashamed that he's still hard. Not just as hard as he was when you started though.

"F-Fuck." The slick sound of your hand pumping him quickly is overwhelming. Your grip is tight on his shaft while you cup his balls, squeezing and teasing them gently, encouraging them to work overtime for you.

"I can't cum again. I can't." Bucky pants, whimpering when he forces his eyes to meet yours again.

"You told me that last time. I'm not sure when you decided it would be a good idea to lie to me but I promise you, it isn't." Your tone would make him tense but he's tense already, trying to hold back an orgasm he truly doesn't need.

"This is the last orgasm I want from you. You can manage it for me, can't you?" You sound so sincere this time, he can't help but agree.

"Good boy. Now cum nice and hard for me. I want to hear how pathetic you sound."

For the next few minutes, there are no sounds except the delightfully wet sound of your hand working lube and cum against his dick and the frantic moans of a man reaching a level of pleasure that verges just nicely on painful.

When he does cum, you let it splash against your palm once more and you notice how little he's able to provide you with. He's entirely empty, legs shaking but babbling how grateful he is for the way you touch him.

Now that he's spent, it feels like your turn to enjoy yourself while he watches and nothing sounds better than touching yourself with the hand that's covered in his cum.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Headcanon that George learnt some basic magic and uses it exclusively for cleaning.

Can’t reach the top of the wardrobe to dust?

Magic a rag to do it.

Arthur saw him once but when George said what he used it for, “I’m a servant, sire. My duty is to clean the castle. I found a tool that makes me more efficient at my job and would rather continue as I am. Sire.” Arthur decided he wasn’t doing any harm and that the ‘corruption’ had already gotten to him but it had only made him obnoxiously boring so it was easier to let him be.

Merlin fully disagrees with both points because to the first, George is really trying to become him? What the hell. He’s not willing to lose his job to George of all people.

And to the second, he just adamantly refuses to believe that George is actually boring, his running theory is that he doesn’t like anyone in the castle enough to want to talk to them so he does his best to deter them by refusing to be social. It’s because Merlin heard George break character after a feast once while he thought he was alone when one of the nobles dented a brass tray and George cussed them out so bad that when Merlin repeated what he’d said at training the next day, quite a few of the knights had blushed. Even Gwaine was impressed.

He’s been trying to befriend George ever since, and it’s just not worked. He’s pretty damn close to revealing his magic so they’ll have something in common, but he also doesn’t know if brass genuinely is George’s idea of an interesting conversation starter, he might send Gwen out drinking with him so they can talk about metal or forges or something and she can bring back the intel.

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

it remains so funny to me that Stede's "main character of a romcom" energy has a fucking area of effect.

last season Ed's crew were all taken aback by switching genres from gritty pirate drama to romcom, and this season we have Izzy losing a leg to gangrene right before Stede wakes Ed up from a coma by holding his hand.

[sanjiaftersex]

you know how the strawhats eat everything from dragons to sea kings to dinosaurs to weird vegetables found in different islands, if sanji wasn't extremely neat, precise and hygienic, half of the crew would've been dead already

[keymintt]

dyed my hair blue again

[manchesterau]

and when dan sends one in to troll and that’s the hard launch

[ashartstuff]

oh my gosh can we get orel and butters meeting… they are like birds of a feather…

They share a lot of the same experiences 👍

Also just started playing TFBW and Butters’ mom is straight up just Bloberta

[cairafea]

the primordial desire to fight a krill is at the top of maslow’s hierarchy of needs

[lorei-writes]

Yves' training regiment has to be whipping up egg white for meringue by hand. (None of that hand crank mixer modernity, just good old elbow grease.)

But jokes aside, he bakes without access to any of the electronic appliances. He may appear lanky or otherwise thin, delicate, but he has to have good stamina. Those arms have kneaded dough! They knead dough regularly! He whips up creams and what not! AND HE HAS 7 BROTHERS (...has Chevalier ever eaten anything cooked by Yves? -- to be pondered later) AND ONE BELLE TO FEED.

YVES IS NOT WEAK BY ANY MEASURE, I SWEAR.

[coughloop]

so funny i convinced myself i didnt have gender dysphoria for such a long time by internalizing a repulsion to every aspect of my physical body so intensely that i assumed absolutely everyone must feel that level of self hatred when they look at themselves in the mirror

[cakerybakery]

I don’t think I’ve really seen an Adam going through a nesting phase while pregnant, unless giving him bird traits. But it’s a thing humans do to.

So I figured it would be funny to give him one

-

Lucifer pushed the crib over to the east wall, then the dresser to the west wall next to the changing table and the rocking chair to by the window. Like he’d been told.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Would the bookshelf look better on the south wall by the window?” Adam was hovering again.

“If that’s what you desire, I can move it.” ‘Again.’ He tacked on internally.

Adam tested out the changing table and dresser. Taking a tiny outfit from the drawer without leaving the table to avoid the baby rolling off and falling if he looked away for even a moment.

Satisfied, Adam started pulling the clothing out of the drawers and reorganizing them.

Lucifer paused pushing the bookshelf over to watch as Adam took all the sleepers out of the top drawer and put all the onesies in instead. “Didn’t you just organize that yesterday?”

“Yeah, but I thought today that the onesies really should be in the top drawer because that’s the first thing that we’ll put on them. Although, maybe I should put all the small miscellaneous stuff in the top drawer?” Adam started pulling it all out again before sighing and pulling himself back up, “hang on, I gotta go to the bathroom. I moved wrong and pressed the baby against my bladder.”

Lucifer went back to pushing the bookshelf over. Setting it up next to the window by the rocking chair. With nothing else to do he figured he’d help by re-reorganizing the baby clothing. He put the tiny hats, socks, and mitten to keep the baby from scratching their face and hurting themselves by accident in neat piles in the drawer. Then onesies, then sleepers, then pants. Satisfied he’d helped, Lucifer started to wonder where Adam went.

He wandered down the hall to the bathroom off their room and found Adam on the floor with a bucket of soapy water and the shelving taken out of the linen closet. Everything that had been on the shelves in some state of disarray or freshly washed. All the towels were in the laundry hamper.

“Uhh Adam? What are you doing?”

“Cleaning. I went to change the toilet paper roll and realized the underside of the shelving was dirty so I pulled everything out to clean it.”

Lucifer just nodded, “ah, okay. You need anything?”

“No. I need from fresh water but I’ll go get that. I need to stretch my legs. My back is fucking killing me.”

“Okay. I’ll… wash the towels I guess.”

Adam kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re a life saver.”

Lucifer carried the basket to the laundry room and started the load. It wouldn’t do any good to argue that they were perfectly clean towels. Adam felt they were dirty so they needed to be washed. Lucifer was getting use to this. He hoped it didn’t last.

He went back to the master bathroom and it was exactly as he left it.

Once more he wandered the house until he found Adam in the kitchen, scrubbing a wall. “Oh thank god. Can you get behind the stove? I can’t reach and it’s filthy.”

Lucifer just agreed, picked up an extra cloth and started trying to get off the accumulated years of grease and stains off the wall. ‘At least this is actually dirty.’

He was finishing up when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”

“K,” Adam barely paid him any mind and went back to cleaning.

Lucifer pulled over the door and was surprised to find Eve there, “hey. I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d pop by to see how Adam is doing.”

“He’s nesting.”

Eve put a hand on Lucifer shoulder and with a grimace, “I’m so fucking sorry for the loss of your husband’s sanity.”

“I’m going to go for a walk before he makes me reorganize the nursery, again. Can you make sure he doesn’t try to do anything dangerous by himself?” He grabbed the jacket and his hat off the hook on the wall and Eve agreed.

He was almost to the sidewalk when even from that distance he heard Adam yelling, “LUCIFER! DID YOU TOUCH THE BABY CLOTHING? ITS ALL WRONG!”

He was going for a very long walk. He’d bring back ice cream.

[bluvlet]

checkmate.

[tazmiilly]

just cleaned 2 rooms in my apartment. I defeated my adhd

[thirstyvampyr]

ok hear me out

she's already dead here, or at the very least unconscious, he put something in her drink

he cuts her open and makes a mess, dead bodies weigh a ton, it's really slippery with all that water and blood

the blood trails into his room past the doorframe, he's already walked into it

when he "finds" her he drops his phone but look at his face

i can't read faces so you tell me, is that shock?

all the while keeping in mind, whatever you see comes out of an unreliable narrator (i hope this helps)

oh and by the way, felix gave him the murder weapon :)