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aiweirdness · 4 years ago

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AI Doesn't Understand Scale

One of my favorite ways to mess around with text-generating AI is to see what it does with new games that didn't exist on the internet back when its training data was collected.

OpenAI's GPT-3 models were trained with data that cut off in late 2019 which means that they're unaware of certain major world events, as well as of the latest internet memes.

Recently someone posted this hilarious bit of startup advice that had people posting terrible advice of their own:

I guessed that even if a neural net like GPT-3 can't possibly have seen this meme before, it would still be capable of giving terrible startup advice. So, I entered the entire above sequence of brilliant entrepreneurial moves as prompt text, preceded by the word [tomatoes] in brackets to help indicate this was supposed to be a short thing about tomatoes. Then I wrote "[" and let it write a short thing about something else.

DaVinci

Unsurprisingly, the largest GPT-3 variant was the best at catching on to the format. It made the leap that you could amplify eggs in a similar way. And you end up making $1 million on each egg!

[eggs] Same as the tomatoes. Eggs sell for $1 each. He uses 39 chickens to make a dozen eggs in 9 minutes. One hen can lay 355 eggs in 355 days. That’s 11.844 muffins a day. 9:11AM go to the best grocery store in town and buy ALL THE CHICKENS. Keep your receipt. 9:19AM - you take $9.8MM and buy back all your chickens. 9:30AM bring the chickens home. 9:39AM - sell the chickens back to the store for $9.8MM Speculation in eggs prices rises dramatically. If you buy all the eggs, you can sell them back and make $1MM on each egg.

Object permanence is not a strength of DaVinci's - keeping track of the status of physical objects isn't really in its job description. Its world is text.

[wigs] You don't understand scale. Buy one $50 wig. Use it for 6 months until it breaks. Throw it away. Buy another $50 wig. Use it for another 6 months until it breaks. Throw it away. Repeat until you have 182 wigs. Sell them for $50 each.

GPT-3 DaVinci does at least realize that you should end with profitable things happening.

[hammer & nails] You don’t understand scale. Use $100 to buy a hammer. Use the hammer to build with 4 nails. Burn the nail building for warmth. Repeat indefinitely.[chocolate milk] 1 cow gives 160 glasses of chocolate milk per day. A single glass sell for 10k. Lots of profit.[fork] You don’t understand scale. Buy 3 forks. Solve any problem that takes less than 3 forks.

Ada

I also turned to the smallest GPT-3 variant, Ada. It caught onto the format only partially. It got that it was supposed to be about tomatoes. And possibly about money?

[tomatoes] Use $1 to buy 1.5MM tomatoes.[Tomatoes] Do you intend to build a city? ?" Build $500,000 lots and then sell $1,000,000 lots. You want a house outfitted with 50 toilets, 50 outdoor shower systems along with 132 rooms.[tomatoes] They are botanical machines. Of all the tomato varieties, they only grow once! Traversing is their way of existence. They do this every day. They can do "rainbow fruit trees", making "green smoke and crumble flower."

Had I not stopped the generation process, I'm not sure how long Ada would have continued this next one. When people talk about researchers shutting down their AIs because of an unwanted outcome, this is often the kind of thing they mean.

[tomatoes] You don't understand that it's basically the same thing as a bowl of cereal. Potatoes in a can. Pour the potatoes into 35 quart jugs and fill jugs to the brim. Whisk soapmaker. In little tub layers stout ash alum pot paper. Divide into four equal parts of qt and rl into segments measuring 3.2 cm by 0.8 cm. Wash wire wool in 80-95% dewashed water and rinse under tepid water. Prepare three inches of hot coals, gently heat in center of stove 4 inches deep. Roll up soap in crinkly napkins two times to fit into form according to volume-diameter. To remove bubble wrap insert aprons. Heat a small hole as necessary per each pot. Dip each slip to the brush onto each pot, then collect the whole wrap under the string from the soap's top to bottom. Crackfish, partially hulled and cut to about 3 cm across, on an upright flake computer of sufficient volume. Measure and cut parts of soap into even thickness, add by 1 cm to diameter of each bowl. Take soap left out to apartments with sheets and wrap it up in a towel. Fill Sanitary Pail with clay pot suders, layers clay that been finished of three times, each surface 3 cm thick, to the top of the pails. Split soap in half 3 cm ¼ x 0.7 cm just below bottom of tub. Fill bathtub lengthways and level with edge. Lay soap at 4 cups depth, with top down. In the dryer attach film and cling wrap, then lay sheet-hooks 1.6 cm apart on the film. Place plastic apple cores on top of film. Lay film and cardboard pails on top of each other. Cap and secure, then dry for 7-10 days.

If you don't do the entire list, are you really cut out to be an entrepreneur?

I also decided to see what the two midsized GPT-3 models did with this startup advice. Become an AI Weirdness supporter to read the results as bonus material! Or become a free subscriber to get new AI Weirdness posts in your inbox.

#neural networks #gpt-3 #startup advice #you don't understand scale #tomato #bad advice #Sanitary Pail #Heat a small hole as necessary per pot #any problem that takes less than 3 forks #dewashed water

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dalekofchaos · 3 years ago

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Friday The 13th sequel idea:Part XIII:Camp Blood

The best way in my opinion to make a new Friday The 13th, is to unite the majority of the survivors against Jason.

If this fucking lawsuit(fuck you Sean S Cunningham, pay Victor what you fucking owe him) ever ends, this is what I’d love to see as a final sequel.

First, yes this is Part XIII because I consider the remake to be good enough to be in line with canon, just retcon the opening and Jason finding the hockey mask and Jason keeping Whitney alive because she reminds him of his mom.

So my suggestion for a final sequel is this. Tommy Jarvis knows Jason is still out there. He plans to search and bring together everyone who’s ever survived Jason Voorhees. His plan is for everyone to pose as Camp Counselors as Camp Crystal Lake is reopened and lure Jason so they can all kill Jason and end the nightmare once and for all.

Before I continue on the survivors, here is the following things I would love to see in this final Friday The 13th movie

It has to be set at Camp Crystal Lake.

It has to keep the tone from the first 4 movies.

Kane Hodder or Derek Mears must return to play Jason

Pay homage to the game by having Jason hear Pamela’s voice in his head and Jessica Lange should play her

Have Jason’s shack and shrine to Pamela make an appearance

Set it in modern day

Tom Savini does the kill effects, no CGI

Jason has his left eye missing, the axe mark on his mask and chain around his neck, to show the damage and calling cards to Part 3, 4 and 6

Show what the films never established in Jason’s flashbacks. Show Jason’s home life. Show him having a loving mother and father, who just wanted the best for him. You could even show that Elias taught Jason how to hunt and where he got his survival skills from.

Then show Jason’s survival from drowning building his shack, surviving and waiting for his mother but she never shows and we see that it was Jason who did some of the kills in the original and Jason was stalking in some scenes and Jason does watch Pamela die. This would prompt Jason to kill everyone who ever enters Camp Crystal Lake.

Tommy recruits the following

Ginny Field from Part II

Chris Higgins from Part III

His sister Trish and wife Megan Garris

Pam from Part V

Tina Shepard from Part VII

Rennie from Part VIII

Jessica and Steven from Part IX and their grown daughter Stephanie

No one from Jason X since that would be impossible

As for Lori and WIll, Jason killed them in Freddy vs Jason vs Ash

Clay and Whitney Miller from the remake

But someone that everyone never expected to see, is the one person who survived Pamela’s slaughter of Camp Blood. That’s right, it’s Alice Hardy. Here’s my reasoning. The only reason why Alice was killed off in Part II is Adrienne King dealt with real life stalkers, so I think Alice deserves to be in the final movie, plus it makes no sense whatsoever for Jason to find Alice when he never leaves Crystal Lake. SO yes, retconning Alice’s death is very much needed

There would be teens hired as counselors, so Jason has a body count to be worthy of the title. I’d say at least 13 victims, plus those unlucky survivors who happen to die.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Why are you including Pam since V is considered the black sheep of the franchise and since Jason wasn’t in it? This fan theory that suggests that Jason had a psychic connection with Pamela and Roy, thus having his presence felt throughout the franchise. Also Pam was close with Tommy.

I would say the last standing survivors would be Tommy, Megan, Ginny, Stephanie, Tina and Alice. So in total, the death count would be 21

Tina would hold down Jason with her telekinesis. Alice would jam an ice pick in Jason’s skull. Ginny would hack Jason’s limb with a pickaxe. Megan shoots him in the chest, Trish stabs him in the back, Stephanie would stab Jason in the heart and finally Tommy would decapitate Jason.

#Friday The 13th #Jason Voorhees #Horror #Tommy Jarvis #Alice Hardy #Ginny Field #Chris Higgins #Megan Garris #Tina Shepard #Rennie Wickham #Stephanie Kimble #Jessica Kimble #Steven Freeman #Trish Jarvis

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dopposhusband · 4 years ago

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Canon X Canon Drabbles!

Fics written with prompts that focus on Canon X Canon!

SamaSara

With one final drag of his cigarette, Samatoki finished off his pack and extinguished the bud in their shared clay ashtray. Sasara had insisted the two should do more couple like dates that didn’t involve rap battling punks off the streets, so they took a one off pottery class together. That damn comedian looked so proud of the lopsided tray he made, even made lil cigarette slots on the ridges too, how could he not want to keep it?

“Don’t get me wrong you’re smoking hot in the moonlight but bring your ash to bed!”

Rolling his eyes at the puns, Samatoki moves away from the window and crashes himself beside his boyfriend. Instinctively, the two move closer, huddled against one another, faces inches apart. Sasara opens his mouth to speak, but is stopped almost immediately by the yakuza, there was no way he was going to let him ruin this moment with another shitty pun. “I love how I can make you shut up by kissing you literally whenever I want”

SamaRio

Leaves crunch under his feet as Samatoki rushes through the wood, carefully weaving through the camouflaged traps. He never understood how bandits were able to make their way to Rio so easily with them around when it took him almost a month to have a memorized path. He skids to a halt when he makes it to the clearing of Rios camp, eyes surveying the area around him before landing on him. It seems the emergency call may have been an overstatement after seeing how unshaken the ex-marine seemed tying up the passed out trespassers.

“I hope I didn’t alarm you, it seems that the threat wasn’t as high as I thought” He claps his hands onto the sides of his thighs, whipping off the dirt from them before handing off their mics to his leader. “Just another raid for my mic, they’re foolish to underestimate me. Forgive me for calling you out here for no reason, I’ll make us lunch in return” Samatoki shivers at the idea, but the smile on Rio’s face is enough to make him swallow his pride alongside whatever atrocity his boyfriend had planned.

“Tch, don’t worry about it, calling me wasn’t a waste of time. Y’know, if anyone messes with you again I’ll lay them out then and there.”

RamuSama

Out on the town, arms linked, Ramuda dragged Samatoki to every store with a pretty glass display, occasionally pointing out his own brand when he saw it. While Samatoki could enjoy the clothing, although his personal preference being vintage, he couldn’t say the same now. The stylist had brought the two into a sickeningly pink store that specialized in stuffed animals and other cutesy goods.

“Oh, Sama look! Aren’t they cute, kinda like us~!”

He looks over Ramuda’s shoulder and to the pair of stuffed animals he was excitedly fawning over. Two small bears, one pink and the other white, leaning on one another with Velcro paws so they could hold hands. Samatoki’s eyes move from the bears to Ramuda, who was already getting into position to plead with him to buy them. “Sama... can you pwease~!”

He rolls his eyes, letting out a soft ‘tch’ before grabbing the plushies. “Oh piss off with those puppy dog eyes you know I’ll do it for you” Ramuda jumps, cheering out loud as he follows his Sama to the checkout stand, he really needed to stop giving into those eyes or he’d be out of cash.

HifuGen

A long day at work meant that Hifumi had earned a long soak in the tub, after all he had so many new products his kittens have given him that he was excited to try! However, in a surprising twist of events, his stay at home princess was awake too and decided he would join him as well. Gentaro says that the only reason he was awake was because of deadlines and absolutely not because he wanted to see Hifumi.

“I don’t think so. Bubbles are for children”

Already, they had run into their first problem and the water hasn’t even started yet. Hifumi pouts, puffing out his cheeks, grabbing at the bottle Gentaro took from him. “Awh, c’mon Gen! This is the expensive kind, it’s made with honey and it smells super gooooood~! Smell it!” The blond tears the bottle from his hands before opening it and stirring the wand around in it before bringing it to Gentaros face. His face winces back, before carefully moving the stick aside and glaring back at Hifumi.

“It smells like food, you know I don’t like food scented anything” With a sad sigh, he puts the bubble bath aside, no bubble bath for the bubbly champagne host tonight... The hot water spills from the tap and the two huddle together under the hot water silently, it was calming.

“Okay, but can I use a bath bomb instead?!”

IchiDice

Ichiro jumps slightly in his spot as a loud knock echoes through the quiet house, he furrows his brows before pausing his show and grabbing his phone. 2:28 AM. This better be important. Standing up, he saunters over to the door and peeks through the peephole, seeing the familiar mess of blue hair. Sighing, he rubs his eyes of sleep and unlocks the door and is welcomed to the rest of Dice. “Dude, what are you doing here so late?”

Dice moves past Ichiro, almost rushing into the kitchen, already grabbing at the snacks he knows his boyfriend wont mind him eating. “I’ve been on a nonstop losing streak, thought I’d swing by and see my lucky charm!” Which also meant to eat as much as he can and to sleep on something that wasn’t a park bench for one night. After a minute, Dice waddles out from the kitchen, dropping various bags and containers on the coffee table but before he could sit down Ichiro had stopped him with a hand on his back.

“Oh, hell no! You are taking a bath before sitting on my couch and grab some clothes from my room, your jacket smells like a pachinko parlor ash tray”

Dice groans and nods before trudging his way to the bathroom, littering the hall with clothes as he gets undressed on the way there. Ichiro picks up the trail behind him, already taking it to the house washing machine. After that he’s gonna reheat some left overs because theres no way in hell he was gonna let Dice leave tomorrow after a dinner of just Funyuns and Cheetos.

HifuDo

Hifumi had left the house hours ago to run some errands, so now it was a race against the clock. Doppo had to bake and decorate the cake he had planned for the twos anniversary. It wasn’t anything too fancy, not like he had the skill to pull anything like that off, but still he wanted to work with what he could do! The instructions on the back seemed easy enough, idiot proof... right? Doppos hands shake as he whisks the batter, knuckles white from squeezing the handle so tightly, he just wanted to be sure he got all the clumps. What if he just happened to be the one idiot that couldn’t do it?

Shakily, he pours the battle into a basic circle cake tray and into the already preheated oven, he learned preheating after helping Hifumi for a day. Once the tray was in all that was left was to wait, which to Doppo was the scariest part by far... What if he waited too long? What if he didn’t wait long enough? WHAT IF HE GAVE HIFUMI SALMONELLA??? Panic setting in, his eyes dart around the kitchen, from the oven to the timer then to the boxes instructions, did it seriously only take a fifteen minutes to cook a cake?

He jumps from his spot, clutching his heart from the sudden noise when the timer finally does go off. Oven off and gloves on, the cake pan comes out easy, even if the thought of taking it out did scare him at first. Now he had to let it sit for another ten, he can do this, this cake will come out great and Hifumi will be so proud of him! While he waits the time out he mixes the frosting, and grabs the sprinkles to decorate it all!

Again, the timer goes off and Doppo moves to tap the cake out of the mold, but after a few hits, it doesn’t budge. Confused for only a brief second until it hits him. HE FORGOT TO GREASE UP THE PAN. Quickly, his hands shuffle through the drawers before pulling out a butter knife and slicing it out... it was a disaster, there were holes at the top where he couldn’t cut properly. Only he could have managed this, only he could be an ingenious enough idiot to fail something idiot-proof then his eyes fall on the decorations again.

“The icing will cover the mistakes”

#🥂🔖#💖💛#💝🎰#Canon X Canon is fun to write #This is a lil old Ive been letting these sit in my drafts #If you see this on AO3 thats because I posted it there too #just;;;; have to figure out AO3 #Might be some errors but lazy

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scottiereed · 7 years ago

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Trust Me - Jeff Atkins x Reader

((GIF is not mine))

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Requested: Yes! By anon: ‘”Trust me.” with Jeff ‘

#90 - “Trust me.”

From this list.

Summary: You smoke weed for the first time with your boyfriend Jeff

Words: 565 - just a lil one

Warnings: smoking weed

A/N: I chose to go this way with this prompt because we know Jeff was always encouraging people to try new things, especially after the scene in S2 where he gets the pills for Clay and Hannah. I cut it off where I did because I think I would’ve ended up writing smut - haha.

I usually write for Riverdale and you can find my masterlist for that here. My requests are open and you can prompt me anything you like or you can send me numbers from this list.

13 Reasons Why Masterlist

You watched, lip caught between your teeth, nibbling anxiously as Jeff ground up the weed. Your boyfriend, Jeff, had tried to convince you that you needed to try getting high at least once in your life. You eventually gave in, with the condition that it would be just you and him and that he would look after you.

Jeff looked up and smiled at your nervousness. “You’ll like it, I promise, baby.” Jeff took out a rolling paper and careful arranged some weed in the middle before rolling it into a joint. You watched with wide eyes as Jeff’s pink tongue darted out to wet the adhesive side of the paper, you had never imagined that you’d find Jeff rolling a joint so arousing. Finally, Jeff smoothed the sticky side of the paper down and ran his fingers down the length of the joint and twisted the end shut.

Taking out a lighter, Jeff held the joint between his thumb and point finger, before flicking the lighter and creating a flame. Jeff lit the joint and held it out to you, but at your hesitance he took it back.

“You trust me, right?” Jeff asked as he brought the joint to his lips. At your nod of agreement, he put the lit joint between his lip. “Just trust me.” Jeff spoke around the joint before inhaling and then pulling the joint away from his lips, shutting his mouth firmly.

Jeff set the joint down on an ash tray as he beckoned you forwards and cupped your cheek, before rubbing his thumb over your lip to pull your mouth open. He brought his lips to yours and cupped your mouths together before blowing the smoke into your mouth. You automatically inhaled and held the smoke in your mouth, letting it travel down into your lungs, before turning your head and breathing out. The smoke tickled your throat as it went down but it didn’t hurt or irritate it, you didn’t cough, and Jeff looked at you proudly.

“Well done, baby girl.” Jeff rubbed his thumb over your lip again. “I think you’d do better with a bong.” He mused, before picking the joint back up and moving to sit behind you, legs either side of yours. Jeff took a drag of the joint himself, before holding it in front of your face.

You leant forward and took a small drag from the joint, not wanting to overdo it and held it in your mouth before turning your head and blowing out. You hummed and leaned back in Jeff’s arms, leaning your head against Jeff’s shoulder.

“It’s good right?” Jeff smirked as he lifted his hand to his mouth. He took another drag before offering it to you again.

You took another drag, a larger one this time and then twisted your neck to shotgun the smoke into Jeff’s mouth. Jeff quickly accepted the smoke and blew it away before setting the joint back in the ash tray and turning you around, so you could straddle his lap.

“I feel so calm and floaty.” You giggled slightly and caressed Jeff’s face.

“So, you liked it?” Jeff asked, leaning his forehead against yours and rubbing one hand, soothingly, on your back.

You nodded. “For every once in a while.”

Jeff smirked. “I told you to trust me, baby girl.” You shot Jeff a grin before reclaiming his lips.

#jeff atkins x reader #jeff atkins imagine #jeff atkins #13 reasons why #13 reasons imagine #13 reasons why imagine #clay jensen x reader #jessica davies x reader #sheri holland x reader #scott reed x reader #cyrus x reader #zach dempsey x reader #alex standall x reader

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outdoors-living · 3 years ago

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Which Outdoor Fireplace? Cast Iron vs Clay Chimineas Fire Pit

Have you been eyeing that little chiminea on Pinterest? It’s kind of appealing, yes? Because maybe, like me, you LOVE outdoor living areas and creating this intimate garden space.

But you’re not sure. You have questions about safety, maintenance, and fuel. And whether you’d really enjoy using it.

And besides, one side of the box is crushed and the door is barely hanging on by a single hinge.

I can help.

Some Points to Consider

Are you a little impatient? Love books on accelerated learning? Prefer fast food to slow food? No judgment. Just wondering.

My caveat for you is that outdoor clay fireplaces take a little time and effort to warm up. And cast iron needs occasional maintenance.

But I’m not trying to dissuade you here. In fact, you might actually do yourself a huge favor by getting a chiminea for your backyard. Paradoxically, they’re like a toasty “chill pill,” to go a little 1990s on you.

Crave the comfort and connection of spending time with with friends around the fire?

Me, too. Along with beauty, some ritual and solitude—-and time outdoors.

A little chiminea enriches these experiences. And sometimes even prompts spontaneity.

Most of us could use more of that.

But you should know more about the practical aspects of making a three-figure purchase before clicking the Submit button.

Materials, features, proper care and usage. And that’s what I’m talking about here today. Along with some excellent product recommendations.

I’ve owned many types of outdoor fireplaces and chimineas over the past 20-plus years. I never tire of them. I’m always checking out new innovations or brands, design tweaks, improved materials, artisan methods and craftsmanship. It’s a near-obsession, perhaps driven by my comfort-seeking side.

The Pros and Cons of Owning a Traditional Clay Chiminea

Weighs somewhat less than cast iron, but can still be pretty heavy depending on size. Easier to tilt when scooping out ashes.

Rustic and charming, “soft on the eye,” mingles nicely in a backyard setting of bricks, grass, trees, and plants.

NO ASSEMBLY

To my eye, a small clay chiminea doesn’t look as small as one made of cast iron or cast aluminum—-in case you’re working with a small patio, and scale is a design concern

You can use them for cooking with the right woods and a grilling insert

Don’t take it lightly, some clay chimineas are a fully capable pizza oven, too

Often delicate. Usually requires “seasoning” and warmup, sensitive to freezing temps and rain

CAN BE TRICKY TO FIND A GOOD, HANDMADE, MEXICAN FIREPLACE (you can check this one on Amazon)

I’ve noticed in recent years a sort of knee-jerk reaction to the idea of buying a clay chiminea. “It’s mass-produced junk, a waste of money, etc.” And you can find an awful lot of poorly produced clay chimineas out there.

Many of the ones sold at grocery stores are factory-produced, and have both material and structural flaws that get patched up for quick shipping and cost effectiveness.

I personally tend to buy more and more on Etsy, find chimineas fire pit here

But there are some beautifully crafted, artisan-quality, clay chimineas available, too. And this is what you should look for if you decide you want clay.

You’ll have much better luck with authentic, handmade, Mexican inspired chimineas, designed with just one wide opening in the fire chamber, and a wide flue. This creates more efficient burning, proper drafting, and keeps smoke to a minimum.

And if you can find a chiminea made of pure clay food graded, like Pottery Sol y Tierra’s website www.solytierra.shop , then you’ve got an excellent product, AND a shortcut to easier use and care.

You might have to go to a local, independent garden shop, and talk with the staff about how they source their terracotta products. It’s worth the effort, and you don’t need to spend a fortune to have something safe, reliable, and absolutely beautiful.

HERE’S WHAT I RECOMMEND IN A CLAY CHIMINEA

If you’re shopping online, there aren’t a lot of sources for handmade, authentic, good-quality, clay chimineas. There’s a GREAT little Mexican inspired clay chiminea from Etsy—-branded The House Of Bamboo. Last year, I found one at Amazon USA that has since disappeared from inventory, with recently being re-stocked.

But if you’re in Canada, I found the same at Amazon Canada marketplace, in a classic, dark black unglazed. I also found it at another UK website in four different glaze colours. All beautiful.

So why the The House of Bamboo? Theirs is made of pure food grade clay (Advanced Fire Clay), a special clay mixture that’s resistant to thermal cracking and it’s safe for cooking flavor BBQ. It has warranty. Burns charcoal or any type of wood. It doesn’t require “seasoning.” And doesn’t need an specific warm-up period. So if you can find it, look for the handmade clay chimenea by Pottery Sol y Tierra.

If you’re in the USA, I recommend two BEAUTIFUL new chimineas at Amazon. They do NOT have the Chimalin AFC trademark, which is unique to Gardeco. But they are both of high quality, and are handmade by craftsmen. Find the store here

Please follow my usage guidelines for these two chimineas to prevent thermal cracking. It’s not complicated, really. But it’s different than caring for the others. I was hoping the missing Chimalin trademark was an oversight, but after reading the owner’s PDFs for all three of these clay fireplaces, I do not believe that it is.

So have a look, and see if one of these is right for you…

#1 Dark and Rustic. The House of Bamboo Mexican Clay Wood Burning Chiminea

WHAT’S NOTEWORTHY

Handmade by artisans

Not the usual “Sunburst and Lizards” design motif

Designed for efficient burning and proper drafting (less smoke)

Includes coated steel stand and clay lid for flue, BBQ grill and even a nice and durable pizza stone

Beautiful, textured, rustic look

Find it here

What I Love

Rustic, textured surface and dark lava color make this little chiminea look somewhat like cast iron. Its stately good looks would work beautifully in either a cottage-style backyard or a more structured landscape design. High quality. Handmade by clay artisans.

Both the metal stand and a matching rain lid are included.

This is the perfect compromise if you love the look of cast iron, but want to save a few dollars and go with a clay fireplace.

No assembly required. Simply place the fire pit brazier chiminea on your steel stand or outdoor ceramic or concrete tiles

A dealbreaker for you..?

The chiminea weighs 45 lbs. Plan to have help when it arrives if this is more than you can lift or move.

I’m not crazy about the steel stand. It’s adequate but it reads as “light.” Wayfair does sell the stand separately if you think you might want an extra.

Burns wood or pressed wood that does not contain waxes or resins. You can even use with charcoal.

OVERALL DIMENSIONS, WITH STAND: 35 H x 15 W x 15 D INCHES

FIRE CHAMBER OPENING: 9.842 W x 7.874 H INCHES

INSIDE DIAMETER OF FLUE: 6.299 INCHES

WEIGHS 45 LBS

The brazier is also a great patio warmer andI is also available at Etsys’s Canada website here.

The Pros and Cons of Cast Iron Chimineas

VERY beautiful

Can be heavy

Not sensitive to freezing temperatures

Can burn any type of wood or charcoal in it

No warmup period required

Durable and long lasting

Weight makes it an unlikely target of thieves

Requires regular maintenance

Tendency to rust

The most obvious advantage of an iron chiminea is that it’s not as sensitive as clay, so if you tend to be heavy-handed, this might be just your kind of thing. You can perform a log toss or practice your drum solo on its fire chamber. Stoke it with manufactured logs, charcoal, or that big branch that fell from the neighbor’s tree onto your newly restored vintage bike.

As with clay, it’s a good idea to “season” the interior with a few small kindling fires, but you don’t really need to warm it up for subsequent uses. Freezing temperatures are not an issue. Big fires are not an issue but remember, early humans mastered fire almost two million years ago, so stick with the program and don’t let yours get out of control.

Cast iron chimineas have a graceful, solid, well-established look that really says “home.” Maybe because they’re quite heavy. Then again, you’re not likely to wake up and find that your chiminea has quietly “gone missing” overnight.

You’ll likely pay more for a high quality cast iron chiminea (vs. clay), but you want something of good quality because you’re dealing with fire here. It’s not the place for flimsy sheet metal construction, ill-fitted rivets or sharp edges.

Another potential problem with cast iron, if this sort of thing bothers you, is rust. Even if you cover it, and haul it out of the weather on rainy days, it will develop some rust. Although at a much slower rate if you live in a dry climate. And, of course, you can minimize this issue with regular maintenance.

LOW-MAINTENANCE ALTERNATIVE to CAST IRON

I wholeheartedly recommend the solid Cast Aluminum Outdoor Fireplace from The Blue Rooster as a low-maintenance alternative to cast iron. And here are ten reasons why…

It has the look of cast iron.

It’s not as heavy as cast iron.

It’s made of solid cast aluminum, not sheet metal.

It won’t rust the way cast iron does.

It’s durable and long lasting.

Like all Blue Rooster fireplaces, it’s designed for proper drafting, and burns with little or no smoke.

It has carry handles to make moving it around the yard easier.

It comes with a small cast iron grilling insert.

It’s available in a range of finishes and styles.

The Blue Rooster has been in business since 1997, and they pride themselves on excellent quality, proper design, and exceptional customer service.

The simple and compact Etruscan style is the perfect focal point for a small patio. It can hold a 10-inch log (barely) and, at just 29 inches tall, it’s small enough to carry inside on rainy days and fill with candles. CAST ALUMINUM, 29 x 15 inches, approx. 30 lbs.

The Jazz Era-inspired Gatsby style is a medium-size chiminea. At 44 inches tall it can work very nicely in smallish outdoor spaces. Its delightful, sturdy curves and generous fire chamber make this fireplace an absolute pleasure to own! We sent the Gatsby as a wedding gift, and it’s definitely a beauty. Holds logs 12 – 14 inches long. CAST ALUMINUM, 44 x 20 inches, approx. 65 lbs.

I hope you’ll have a look at Blue Rooster’s products if you decide you want a metal chiminea. I’m often surprised that more people don’t know about them. Great quality, nice people.

General Guidelines for Use and Care of Clay Chimineas

Still not sure whether a good clay chiminea is for you? Consider the following guidelines for enjoying and extending the life of your outdoor fireplace. (Guidelines on thermal shock and cracking )

Clay is more delicate and prone to thermal shock than metal chimineas. So you always want to start by filling the bottom of your new clay chiminea with an insulating layer of play sand.

You’ll need to “season” or cure the interior with a small kindling fire, creating a thin layer of soot before building your first, big (not TOO big) fire. Every time you want to use your clay chiminea, you’ll start by building the same kind of small fire until the exterior is warm to the touch. This also will help to prevent cracking.

Seating a clay fireplace on sloping ground or very uneven surface could create hot spots and—cracking.

The exterior still gets hot, though not as hot as metal. Don’t overlook this safety aspect if you have small children or pets. Or just someone around who’s a little clumsy and accident prone.

You don’t have to build a huge fire to create abundant radiant heat. In fact, you never want to see flames shooting out of the top of the flue. That kind of craziness will cause the clay to become over-fired, and could lead to…? Cracking. Or worse, injury and property damage.

I fashioned a makeshift wooden poker for our old clay chiminea because I often nicked the interior when using metal pokers. Just saying.

And if you back into your clay fireplace with the lawn mower (no, it wasn’t me), you’ll have a good supply of clay shards for the potting bench.

When it’s bedtime, always extinguish the fire with a bucket of sand, not water. Or just stir the sand layer up over the embers and place a metal spark screen (you should have one) over the front opening.

Of course, you’ll need to cover and protect a clay chiminea from rain and freezing temperatures. Some of them come with a clay lid for the flue, but full covers are generally purchased separately.

All this sounds a lot worse than it really is in practice. It becomes second nature, and part of a pleasant ritual. I actually loved using our old clay chiminea, and prefer this type of fireplace for summer evenings, when we tend to get larger crowds, and I can’t keep an eye on a bigger fire.

SUMMARY – The Key Takeaways

If you love the traditional look and charm of a clay fireplace, and you don’t mind pampering it a little, then I think you’ll be happiest with a high quality, handmade, authentic chiminea.

Visit your local garden center and find how they source their clay fireplaces. If you’re shopping online, I recommend Pottery Sol y Tierra house brand The House of Bamboo.

If you’re in the Canada I recommend Etsy’s marketplace—-for those made of pure clay. I’ll update this post if others becomes available online in the USA.

If what you’re after is the timeless beauty of a cast iron chiminea, and you don’t mind doing a little regular maintenance, then go for it—and go for the highest quality out there, The Blue Rooster Cast Iron Outdoor Fireplace.

The Dark Lava (medium size) and the Venetian (large size) styles look very different, yet both are functional and versatile, and can function as fireplace, grill, and oven.

The Garden steel weighs approx. 165 lbs. at 44 inches high; the Venetian weighs approx. 200 lbs. at 52 inches high. (FYI: Both styles are available in cast iron and cast aluminum.)

If you want something durable, solid, and beautiful, with the look of cast iron but without all the maintenance, I heartily recommend a Cast Aluminum Outdoor Fireplace from The Blue Rooster.

Both the small-size Etruscan and the medium-size Gatsby styles are available in cast aluminum. The Etruscan weighs approx. 30 lbs. at 29 inches high; the Gatsby weights approx. 65 lbs at 44 inches high.

Toasted marshmallows, anyone?!?!

FAQ

Can I have a fireplace in my garden?

Bonfires and barbecues are not banned by the Clean Air Act, but if you create a lot of smoke you may be causing a statutory nuisance. Burning garden waste on a bonfire is unnecessary and unpleasant for your neighbours. Is better to check fist with the local authorities, depending on the time of the year it might be some limitations.

What does an outdoor fireplace cost?

An outdoor fireplace will cost anywhere between $1,500 to $20,000. On average, it will run you about $3,000 to have a fireplace built. Pre-made kits and unfinished contractor models usually only run from $1,500 to $9,000. Custom projects typically cost between $8,000 to $20,000 - some even hitting $50,000.

These clay fireplaces are also known as great bbq and pizza oven appliances and cost no more than $400

Where should an outdoor fireplace be placed?

The most practical location for an outdoor fireplace is against a wall or in some interesting corner of the patio. Let an specialists help you place your fireplace, as poor placement can make this structure no safety and fire hazard.

What is an outdoor fireplace called?

Chimineas are those charming, hand-decorated terracotta outdoor fireplaces you see for sale at patio stores, marketplaces, and tourist sites in Mexico and Western states like California and Arizona.

#blog #Brazier #chimenea #chiminea #Clay #fire pit #Garden decor #Garden healing #Handmade #pizza oven #Rustic #Steel chiminea #Terracotta

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clay-x-ash-prompts · 3 years ago

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Clay x Ash Prompt #20

Ash: *on a date with a guy she just met*

Clay: *comes storming into the restaurant*

Ash: Clay? What are you doing here?

Clay: I just wanna talk to this guy. Listen, guy, you’d better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend… have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky, I would give her flowers every day. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast every day. 3 slices of wheat toast with butter on both sides. No crusts. Just the way she likes it. I’d be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I'd spend every day thinking of ways to make her laugh. She has the most… amazing laugh. That’s what I would do, if I were you. But I’m not. So you do it.

Clay: *leaves*

Ash: *is touched beyond words*

Guy: Well, anyway. Where were we?

Ash: ...I'm cool?

#clay x ash prompts #clay calloway x ash #clay x ash #clash #incorrect quote #incorrect quotes #madagascar 2 #ash sing #clay calloway #sing 2 #sing movie #prompt #writing prompt #older younger #age difference

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clay-x-ash-prompts · 3 years ago

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Clay x Ash Prompt #19

Ash: Clay was never really great at the whole 'flirting' thing.

Clay: What are you talking about? It worked on you!

Ash: Oh, you're right! I got electrocuted by your fence, was brought to your house and threatened to leave, watched you harass my friend, played you one of your songs, convinced you to perform with me, and...BAM! Two years later, you had me!

#clay x ash prompts #clash #clay calloway x ash #clay x ash #incorrect quote #incorrect quotes #ash sing #clay calloway #sing 2 #sing movie #prompt #writing prompt #older younger #age difference

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clay-x-ash-prompts · 3 years ago

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Clay x Ash/Beauty and the Beast Parallels

-A king falls into despair and isolates himself in his large, secluded home

-His past regrets transform him into something he believes he can't show others and he believes that his chance for love is gone

-A young girl and her father figure stumble upon his home and invoke his wrath

-The young girl insists her father figure leave while she stays

-The girl and the transformed man share a deep bond over time

-Her love and understanding and his willingness to let others in transforms him back into something akin to his former glory but with a more understanding heart

#clay x ash prompts #clay calloway x ash #clay x ash #clash #clay calloway #ash sing #sing 2 #sing movie #beauty and the beast #prompt #writing prompt #older younger #age difference

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clay-x-ash-prompts · 3 years ago

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This is platonic right- Ash is literally a teenager and Clay is like 60- if this is anything but platonic you are a disgusting human being

Ooh, I've been waiting for this! A few points:

1) Teenager can also define 18 and 19 year olds. Just because Ash says "It's like you can see inside my teenage brain" in the first movie, doesn't mean she's a minor in the first or second movie.

2) In the first movie, it's obvious she's LIVING with her boyfriend and kicks him out. They're also booking their own gigs and sign up for Buster's show without mention of their parents needing to sign anything. With Meena, we see her family is actively in her life and most likely signed whatever forms were needed. Either that means Ash and her boyfriend are emancipated minors or are at least 18.

3) In the second movie, Ash is receiving paychecks from the NIGHT CLUB she works at. Without parent's permission which, again there's no mention of, means she'd be at least 18.

4) Stage productions take time, effort and money to put on. The one we see at the end of Sing 2 was extremely rushed and had a literal army of stage hands to help make it happen. That took 3 weeks. Normal productions take months to happen, especially with limited help. The Alice in Wonderland play most likely took months to get perfect and, in the movie, they say that "it's been sold out every night." This means it's also been open for a while. This implies the passage of time and we don't even know about other possible plays they've done.

5) Enough time has passed since the first movie that Johnny's dad's gang is now out of prison for robbery and doing community service in the second movie. In most states, the punishment for aggravated robbery is a minimum of a few years. Not to mention the fact that Johnny's dad broke out of his cell for a short time, which could extend his sentencing.

6) There's no concrete mention of how old Clay or Ruby (his wife) are. We only know they were married, she inspired all of his songs, and she's been dead for 15 years. On average, people are in their early to mid 20's when they get married. Any amount of time could have passed since their marriage to her death and then the 15 year gap.

7) In his wedding photo, it's black and white but his mane colors appear to be the same or close to when he and his wife got married. Basically, people can headcanon Clay as old or young as they'd like because his appearance doesn't seem to change.

8) Relationships don't need s*x to be romantic. Period. As I've stated, Ash is grown and can make her own decisions. Clay is grown and can make his own decisions. He or she might not want s*x for any number of reasons but can still be in a healthy relationship. They also COULD want it and that would be fine because they're both grown. Just because there's an age difference in consenting adults doesn't mean it's harmful.

9) As I feel sound in my argument that they're both of age, and also because they're fictional, I can ship whoever I want. I could ship someone with a potted plant if I wanted. If you don't like it, don't look for it. And please don't insult people without having valid arguments. Thanks 😉

Feb. 1 Note: To the anon who is blowing up my inbox with hate, again with no concrete arguments for anything, why are you coming here if you feel this way? In the words of Nanna Noodleman: Did you think I'd drop to my knees and declare you a genius? When you see my (well thought out) argument above, you think you being angry at my decisions is going to change my love of this ship? Nah. You can say all you want, I'm gonna keep proudly shipping it 😄 Haters gonna hate 😘

#can yall tell ive been eagerly sitting on this?#clay x ash prompts #clay calloway x ash #clay x ash #clash #ash sing #clay calloway #sing 2 #sing movie #ask #older younger #age difference

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