#clavi fucking DIES

[clavidy]

ok so. what is spameron btw. hi simmy

ok so yk that scene where a kid goes "hey spaz!" then throws a balled up paper at sniffles? yeah so when this happens cam lunges over his desk, trying to catch the paper b4 it hits him. he fucking LUNGES. then he looks kinda sad but mostly just mad at the bullies after. sniffles and cam also stand together during keating's one poetry talk and are brushing hands throughout, and cam is the only one in shot who doesn't turn to stare at sniffles when he's blowing his nose while keating ghost larps. so uhh

[mxrmaid-poet]

[ghost-popcorn-bucket]

In honor of a week's passing since the release of RITE HERE RITE NOW, here are my... unadulterated notes from the theater.

🚨WARNING🚨 Contains spoilers for RHRN!

what day is it???? FRIDAY BITCH

kaisarion -> trailer scene

rats

"never to return" sobbing

faith!!

spillways. seestor in wheelchair. psalms????? cctv screen warped

cirice. kicks rain out of the way. bat suit. eye to eye -- emeritus eye ooh

fog??? reddi whip???

absolution --literal fireworks

sodo stealing his thunder like a dickhead

ritual -- sodo continues but rain stops him / flashes yousuck at him

call me little sunshine in full gear

con clavi with tha thurible

bullfighting bro??

watcher in the sky

jumps into a box

nihil marital problems with seestor in tha box

third 7 inches song???????? holy shit???

ghost farts

if you have ghost -- 3 ghoulettes on strings, 1 vocal

vocal ghoulette has nihil face paint on?????

boxing time

twenties

skeleton dancers with weird feet shoes

thongs and nipple pasties

year zero in even more getup, intercut with old movies// pyrotechnics

he is // mortality moment, nostril shot

"so the people know you have given everything, and that you have nothing left to give"

nihil resurrection

SCOOBY DOO ASS NIHIL/SEESTOR MUSIC VID FOR MARY ON A CROSS

mummy dust

...where did you feel it

KEVIN JESUS

shoe change -- ashley also sock reveal

RESPITE ON THE SPITALFIELDS AUGH

rain doesnt get water

encore - kiss tha gogoat, danca macabre -- skellies get pants, ghost says happy pride fr, they have an orgy

SQUARE HAMMER RAAHAAAAA

one last one up the poop chute???? does split kick midair

the moon landing??? hot air balloon??

HE GOES TO SPACE WHAT THE FUCK

COPIA HAS A TWIN

SEEESTOR FUCKING DIES I CALLED IT

FATHER IMPERATOR

when it all burns down -- check if its a new track -- feels very 70s

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

Idk how the FUCK i did all of this but-

The spirits got me... so platonic yandere yeves x morgan au

Yves was visiting his territory when he saw someone being thrown from a biulding.

"Stay out, Obsidian scum!" Could easily be heard.

Yves stepped from his carridge to see what was going on. He found what looked like a girl, curled up on the ground, clearly in pain.

"May I help you?"

The girl paid no mind to him, trying to stand up. That's when he saw she was drenched, bruised, and bleeding.

"Please, come with me." He was quick to take off his coat and wrap it around the girl. She didn't resist. she just did what was needed of her.

He took her to a nearby villa he was staying at, starting to take care of the clearly scared girl.

Yves took it upon himself to take care of her. He gave her some spare clothes, she asked for men's clothing instead of women's so he supplied Licht's spare clothes. He had a doctor make sure she was physically well. Only to find out she had a bad cold and deep wounds. One that was odd in nature and would affect how she moved. So he took care of her as she rested. He demaned it of her even whenever she tried to get up and do something. He was there to lay her back down.

"... what's your name...?" the girl softly asked, holding a pillow close.

"Oh, where are my manners, I'm Yevs Kloss."

"...Kloss..."

"Yes, it's a name of Obsidian nobility..." he sighed a bit, "but you're also from there, right?"

"Mhm... I... I'm... Morgan... Solace... Morgan Solace..." she smiled to herself, as if likeing the sound of her name. As if she heard it for the first time.

"Well, it is an honor to meet you, Morgan." He smiled at her, reaching out to comfort her, until she shrunk away.

'Obsidian hurt her too... didn't they...? Clearly...'

Yeves frowned softly but pulled his hand away. "Well, I want to be sure you're safe and well taken care of... oh! You can be my attendant!"

"You would want ME as your attendant...?"

"Yes, I'm sure you have a lot of skills, and I'll help you where needed. Some of my brothers have one, and they have been helpful to them. I think it will be beneficial to us both."

Morgan seemed to think on it before nodding. "Okay... I'll be your attendant."

Yevs couldn't help but smile. He wouldn't have to be alone. He brought good fortune to someone.

Once Morgan had healed enough to move on their own (they weren't a woman, but something in-between as they explained it), the duo returned to Rohdinite palace.

Yves introduveing Morgan to his brothers as his attendant shocked everyone, to say the least.

"My, my, how fasinateing. So you've taken in someone who has sought asylum from Obsidian? That isn't going to do you much good in afraid Yevs" Clavis chuckled, pointing out what should be obvious. "She di-"

"They. And I'm sure there is a good reason why they didn't go through legal channels. Obsidian has been cut off from the world. Their people have been starving and suffering."

"What was your occupation before coming to Rohdinite?" Chalaver coldly asked.

"... Military wife... before that I worked as a slaes person with my father..." Morgan replied, clearly feeling uncomfortable by all the stares.

"You haven't seen the wounds on them. They were clearly hurt often by their ex-husband by how deep and black some were."

"Well, Yves doesn't have the best reputation among the nobility in the first place. But, the people who were once a part of Obsidian and defected would sure respect it. Didn't the same happen with you, Clavis?"

"True, I do attract the most amusing of people. But we first need as much information we can get from... them was it?"

Morgan nodded. "I'll answer questions to the best of my abilities."

So, many questions were asked of Morgan. Some clearly shook them up, but Yves was there to comfort them and give them some tea and sweets to help. After all, they were his to take care of as a prince and leader.

After the questions were over, Chalaver got up and left without another word.

Clavis sighed. "So dramatic, he must be missing that boyfriend of his so badly," he chuckled. "I'll send Cyran to meet you later. I'm sure you both will get along amazingly. " Clavis then took his leave

To Yves' surprise, Nokto quietly left as well.

'At least he didn't try to flirt with them...'

Now, it was just the domestic faction in the room. It made Yves a little nervous.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you got someone to help Yves. I hope you won't mind that things with us aren't that organized, Morgan."

"Oh- I completely understand that. Sometimes, when things are clean, you can just as easily lose them as when they are messy!"

Jin chuckled. "I think Yves found the perfect assistant for himself so far."

"It seems you have also taken to Yevs baking." Leon added with a chuckle.

Yevs could help but be proud of the person he found and helped.

"Well, yeah, it's amazing. If you ever need an assistant in the kitchen, I'd be okay with helping you. " Morgan smiled weakly at Yves, but it was so genuine. He was proud to have gotten that smile after all the pain they've been through. He earned that smile.

He wasn't going to let anyone take it away from them.

Morgan took easily to the work that Yevs gave them. They mastered paperwork, they were an amazing baker themself, they managed to get along with Licht!

But he also noticed that they had hard days. Days where they never left their room. Days they wouldn't speak a word. Times where they looked so scared and had to leave. Times where the only person they trusted was him.

Of course, he took the time to help them out, styling their hair and jewelry so that they both could look their best. Bakeing both of their stress away before eating away at it.

Not to mention, ever since Morgan came along, he was less unlucky. He didn't fall into Clavis' traps. He didn't step on a cat, break a mirror, and trip on the stairs. Nothing. It was like... they were a good luck charm.

He was glad to keep them safe, and in turn, they listened to him. They stood up to nobles for him. They helped him connect to Obsidian and taught him things he never thought he would know.

When Luke came to the palace, he seemed weird around Morgan. Yves didn't care much for that. Luke should respect his hard-working assistant.

He didn't like how often he found Luke not too far behind Morgan. What was he looking for from them. Some staff allways seemed to be near them often aswell.

Some were known to be from Obsidian.

So, Yves took it upon himself to dismiss them. He wasn't going to let go of Morgan. Not his good luck charm.

Then, the time came for the Goodwill Gala between Rohdinite and Bennonite. He couldn't wait to introduce Morgan to Keith. He knew that they would get along amazingly!

"Introduceing Morgan Solace"

There they were, dressed to the nines thanks to Yves help. He couldn't be more proud of them and how far they came.

Then. Yves bad luck struck.

Morgan bumped into Prince Silvio of all the people they could've run into. It had to be him. He was just as bad as Nokto and Jin. Maybe even worse!

The way he touched them. Smiled at them. Talked to them. It was dreadful. That is way to treat his lucky charm and best friend. They deserve the best. Prince Silvio was one of the worst.

Yves got closer to see what the two were talking about.

"You're saying Prince Yves made those clothes? He is more skilled than people give him credit." Silvio staed, amazed. As he should be.

"Yeah, he is kind and talented. I don't know where I got so lucky having a boss like him"

"Yeah, by the way. Where did you learn all that business stuff? I doubt Prince Yves taught you that"

Morgan looked uncomfortable and saddend by the question. So Yves took that moment to save them, and imedeately fell between them.

Morgan was quick to worry over Yves and helped him up before apologizing to Silvio and taking him to the infirmary to check him over.

'Oh Morgan, you're too kind.'

Yves smiled at his small victory as Morgan checked him over for wounds.

'Such a kind person shouldn't be hurt by a brute like that...'

Morgan finished checking Yves over before relaxing. "You're not at all hurt. Which is good-"

"Alright, I am going to rest for a bit, though. I want you to go and talk to Keith Howell, okay? He is a good friend of Licht and I, so if you need him pointed out, go to him."

Yves needed to... talk to a certain prince about them.

So Morgan left, unaware of what was going on in Yves head.

------------------------------------------

BAM!

The door to the infirmary was kicked open, and there stood Prince Silvio.

"Ya needed somethin'?"

"I need you to stay far away from MY attendant."

"Morgan, right. That's what has got you so worked up? Us talking?" Silvio couldn't help but snort. "Well, maybe I'll make them mine faster"

"You. Wouldnt. Dare." Yves glared at the prince.

"Would I? We'll see, " he smirked and left the room. Clearly on a mission now.

Yves needsd to go, and fast. Who knows what Silvio was planning? Who knows what he would do to them after he gets his hands on them. They have been hurt enough.

By the time Yves made it back to the ballroom, everyone's eyes were drawn to the dance floor. So, when Yves followed them, he saw it.

Morgan Solace, dancing with Gilbert. Von. Obsidian.

The living symbol of both of their pain.

'Let. Them. Go'

He couldn't move.

'Let. Them. Go.'

He couldn't speak.

What seemed like hours went by. The two clearly talked about something as they danced. Both graceful moveing concisely and slowly.

That eternity finally ended when the music did. When Morgan bowed to Gilbert before sneaking off.

He knew Gilbert would ignore him like everyone else... everyone but Morgan... so, he went after them instead.

He found Morgan in their room, curled up in blankets and sobbing.

"Morgan...?" That bastard. He should pay for what he did to them.

"Y-yves!" They jumped, trying to dry their tears but failed.

He frowned softly and went over to Morgan to just hold them. They let themself sob into his arms.

It took everything within him not to go up to Gilbert and kill him then and there.

But he needed to take care of Morgan right now, revenge can be done later.

[ihateliterature]

I was thinking about Chev (like I usually do) and Clavis these days, and it dawned on me when I was making my Sariel Route Review, that they cared so little about their father

I understand Clavis, considering the circumstances he probably hated the King and I doubt the King was fond of him

But Chev is savage

On Blood Stained Rose Day Chevalier, when push came to shove, decided to sacrifice a fuck ton of civilians without asking the King about it beforehand. He saw his opinion as so meaningless it wasn't even worth bringing the idea up to him

And Clavis instead of yk, telling the King "hey, Chevalier is doing some crazy shit", marched himself to the camp and almost died

And every time the moral ramifications or Chevalier's decision are brought up, we are only ever given Leon as a point of comparison. We are told that Leon would have made the same decision, but we are never told what the King would have done if he would have bothered to move his ass off his throne and protect his country

Yes, he was sick the last few years of his life and there was a chance he was at that point too. But we are shown that his illness caused a gradual decline in health, it wasn't immediate. And even if he was sick, he didn't have to fight, he just needed to be there, in a tent, making decisions like these

I can't even comprehend how pathetic this man is omg, what did Jin and Chev's moms even saw in him?

[ga-yuu]

This somehow has been bugging me, but don't you think it would have been better if the Belle ceremony started before the King retired or died? I mean, if Rhodolite doesn't have a King, which means it is in a very vulnerable state and everyone knows that if the Obisidian knew about this then they would immediately attack Rhodolite. Everyone knows how much of a threat Obsidian is. Keeping that in mind, it would have been much better if Emma was chosen the next Belle before the king died because after the King died, the next King (chosen by Emma) could immediately take the throne. So they won't be needing to lie or hide Emma from the other Kingdoms. I know someone's death is unpredictable, but they could have taken this precaution.

Some spoilers ahead!

Also another thing, (I feel like Ikepri fans are hating me right now because I couldn't stop nitpicking their fav game...but I can't help it! These questions are actually bugging me!)I hate the previous King. The previous King and Belle fell in love. But because Belle was a commoner, the Royal Court didn't accept their marriage. So their social status is the big villain here. On top of that Belle got pregnant and was banished from the Kingdom. The King became the fallen beast (lol) and had to marry a hotter woman a.k.a Chevalier's mom, and rule the Kingdom while being depressed (and horny at the same time). On top of that, he got, Leticia (my personal fav mom) pregnant for no reason? Why? They didn't make it clear at all and Chevalier's mom was okay with it? And it all happened before the King went crazy!? Whatever, that's not my question. My question is if social status was the villain, why didn't the King himself try to change that rule? I mean, he is the King, after all, the man with the highest power in the Kingdom. Can't he give a noble title to Belle? But the King was dumb and as a result of this, the 99th clause happened so that the 'tragedy' doesn't happen again. I mean, it certainly is a tragedy. Not only Belle and the King suffered, but along with them the mothers of other princes' have to suffer as well. I can understand the King is heartbroken, but that doesn't mean that he can go around sleeping with every woman he comes across in search of 'love'. He has a beautiful wife sitting at home, he could have just moved on and started fresh. You're MARRIED FOR GOD SAKE! DON'T RUIN YOUR SPOUSE'S LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN!!!

I wish in the future, they release past stories about the former King, former Belle, and the stories about Queens cause I'm really interested in what actually happened. Actually, fuck it! I don't care about the King and Belle, at least give me a clear story about Chevalier and Clavis's moms.

The 99th clause was not clear at all. First of all, what the hell is this clause about? Is only Belle not allowed to marry the King because she's a commoner or no commoners are allowed to marry the King at all? Which is it? In Chevalier's route, if I remember correctly, he tells Sariel that he is taking Emma as his girlfriend and when Sariel tells him about the clause, Chevalier is like---"Well, the Belle ceremony is over and now Emma is not Belle anymore. So it's fair."

But I'm here like----"She's still a commoner!!!" What happened to the whole social status problem?

[forlorn-crows]

An odd one for you, but I fucking love Infestissumam and Per Aspera Ad Inferi... The way they flow from one into the other is just, *chefs kiss*. Also, Prime Mover.

Oh, and Zenith. (I'm a whore for the songs Martin contributed to).

hold on lemme just *falls down the stairs*

why do we not talk about zenith. ZENITH. ITS SO GOOD. im gonna start with that one. but all of these are good.

zenith:

i still cannot get over how the intro sounds like 0:36ish of Another Day in Paradise by Phil Colins. like what. its like a half step away from being the same key, if not the same. anyway, the way the piano coming back throughout the song. its so good.

the pre-chorus?? into the downbeat of the chorus??? HELLO???

DEVOURED BY SHADOWS / WE CLING TO THE LIGHT

SO HELP YOU GODDD, COME UNLEASHED / YOURE SET FREE

i already mentioned about the 'e' vowels tobias loves, but the way he drags out the 'free' in the second chorus + the drumroll and the guitar wail + and dissolving into the 'yeeauggggh' FUCK ME UP

the entire Saecula Saeculorum section + the laugh he does at the end???? PLEASE. and the entire instrumental section after that before going back into the chorus.

miasma just sent me a video of when they used to open with infest/per aspera and i ascended a bit

like i said. choir sounds. fuck me up. infestissumam fucking SHREDS

the transition straight into per aspera? kill me now its so good. per aspera gets me every time i hear the live versions. the harMONIES ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH SWISS AND CUMULUS??? i wanna DIEEEEE

again, tobias doing that fuCKING thing where he ends his words with 'ahhhh' he's like a little snake.

plus the march-like rhythm of the snare/guitar/bass in the chorus?

the note on the held 'inferiiiiiii' at the end of the first go around of the chorus

adding that third harmony in the chorus the second time around and how you can hear that ghosting of overtones/higher fourth harmony. it makes my singers heart happy.

how the march rhythm changes to a tom instead of a snare on the drums in the first half of the second chorus.

prime mover:

bass. again. need i say more. i yell FUCK IT UP RAINYY in the car every time. + the little hi-hat in the background and then it goes CRAZYYY. another good live. they went from con clavi to this at my ritual and i nearly died

i am a firm believer that these are some of tobias' best vocals. fight me on it.

PRIMME MOOVERRR / MATERNAL SLAVVEEE

MOTHERRRRRRRRR / FILTH IN HER WOMB / FATTTTHHHERRRR / WAITING IN TOOMMMBBBB

the fucking SATANAS / ANTI CRHIST

selected heir / machinery insect / the bloodline of the dark architect

the EEEYUUCCH at the ending 'grave'?? I LIVE FOR THAT SHIT. again with that 'e' vowel tobias loves to shove down his throat.

can you tell i like prime mover a lot, i just repeat the lyrics back to you LMAO

[crowmero]

I finished Silvio's Dramatic Ending. I'm going talk about my general opinion about the route so far.

To be honest, my big motivation to play Silvio was to get some answers from him that were not clear when I played Rio's route because I wanted to see the whole picture.

And just from the moment that Silvio told Rio that he wanted to beat him fair and square, I knew how horrible and humiliating everything could turn for Rio (who loves Emma) when Silvio stepped in to make Emma fall for him.

Surprisingly, this didn't happened (Thank you devs for protecting Rio). Like I know Rio is not everyone's cut of tea for the type of character he is, but I'm happy that Rio took it like a champion in this route, to a point that he ended overshadowing his brother. Like I genuinely have mixed feeling with the amount of Rio propaganda because I really like Rio and at the same time, Silvio deserved to shine more because is his story.

Still I just have to clap and I was really happy about how supporting was Rio with Emma and Silvio, I just really want to punch Clavis, Nokto and Luke for feeling pity for Rio just because he is just genuinely such a good person. And fuck me, I know it sucks that his brother steals the girl this time, but at the end he respected Emma's feelings (YES it really hurt me that Rios was the one mending Emma's broken heart with his own wounded hands YES I HATE IT! A STAB IN MY HEART HURTS LESS THAN THAT).

One of my worries about characters like Silvio is that sometimes their personalities get watered down in their own personal routes. I can't tell if this was the case, because I felt Silvio was a well behaved dalmatian puppy compared to some of the other characters that turned into real monsters this time. Like dude turned in a big tsundere who has trouble expressing his feelings and that hates women (a misogynist??) because he carries some trauma with wicked women trying to score with him just for the money. I was a bit disappointed that Silvio was more barking than biting back, maybe because I didn't expect him to be that insecure about himself.

I was very interested to learn why he hated Rio (like how to forget the nasty "Be my woman or Valerio dies" from Rio's dramatic ending) and the sad part is that we learned more from what other people told us than from Silvio's mouth. Like bro, why is so hard for you to stop being stupid stubborn about what you feel?. Still wow, looks like you care for your brother for real. Also looks like you have some jealousy and some inferiority complex issues related to Rio lmao. I suspected as much when I played Rio. Like Silvio, I get you because I'm myself a fucking asshole in real life and I have sisters that held more charm than me (physical and character) so I get you.

Still we where all rooting for you, specially with all that fuck you money that you have and that foul mouth you held proud. Feel's like I have to put some fuck you money just to learn what happens inside those two brain cells you share with Emma when you both fight.

And well, Silvio is no saint or that kind either because he really did say some words that really cut hard. Also think was a waste to bring the whole "I'm a sailor" because that really sounded really exciting, like because the stupid setting we didn't get more of that (or maybe we get something in the romantic epilogue and I need to read that!) but I really wanted to learn more about that part of Silvio.

I wanted really bad that Emma or Rio punched Silvio hard in the face but INSTEAD WE GOT EMMA BITING BACK AND RIO PUNCHING SILVIO IN HIS EGO (For his own good).

In general, I had so much fun playing his story, not really my cup of tea as a romantic interest, but the banter, the brothers relationship and the love triangle was really good.

[5mary5]

I dont know much since i havent done all the routes yet but from the spoilers i have seen so far: i have CRAZY BEEF with especially clavis's and the twins mother, ESPECIALLY THE TWINS MOTHER👺👹 girly can go burn in hell for all care, but like anyways-how come non of them were mentally stable?? Like..miss mam choose to kill herself because her bff died and left her son behind???Just like that?? The logic was thrown out the window apparently because pfffft who needs that am I right??? Also the previous king deserves to be tortured. What did Belle even see in that guy??? I have only read the worst of him?? Like he raped, abused, turned a blind eye to abuse?? Fuck him!

Why do none of us know the Ikepri moms' lore. Is it really that convoluted.

Or are they all just so throwaway that none of us can remember the two chapters all of them were mentioned in.

[clavidy]

controversial opinion leo has the best character design in all of stardew valley. he just

[ikehoe]

Secrets [Clavis Lelouch x Reader][Smut]

Characters ↬ Clavis Lelouch x Fem! Reader

Rating ↬ Explicit (Smut – mdni)

Tags ↬ Smut, Fingering, Masturbation

Description ↬ For weeks on end, you’ve been pining after the Hellcat of Rhodolite, Prince Clavis Lelouch. Thoughts of him race through your mind, both innocent and downright dirty, until one day you can’t help but pleasure yourself while imagining him doing all kinds of things to you. What happens when he ends up walking in on you?

A/N ↬ Yes, of course! … This isn’t the fluffiest, but there’s fluff at the end if you squint, hahaha. I hope you like it anyways!

Disclaimer ↬ I do not own the rights to Ikemen Prince or any of the Ikemen series games.

Wordcount ↬ 1.5k

Tag List ↬ @atelier-maroron @aquagirl1978 @kleeps @ikesimp100 @chaosangel767 @devildomwritersposts @themysticalbeing @and-then-she-died-tm @kpop-and-otome @rhodolitesroseforclavis @curious-skybunny @moonstruck-writing @lordsister @otomegameinlove If you're interested in being tagged (or untagged) in future fics, please DM me, comment, or fill out this form.

Your fingers moved deftly against your folds, bringing forth crests of pleasure throughout your body. Mind hazed over with thoughts of a certain wisteria-haired man with golden eyes that had been teasing you for weeks on end. It was unfair how beautiful he was, truly. Regal features complemented by that devastatingly sexy smirk he’d give you had your heart racing whenever your eyes met his. It started out with a simple joke here and there, leading you to be wary of the man, but ended up escalating to a game of cat-and-mouse. Oddly enough, you found yourself looking forward to the moments every day where the third Prince would appear, voice dripping in seduction and eyes flashing with mirth.

Soft moans fell from your lips like a siren song, rising in volume until your voice could be heard from the other side of the oaken door. Your arousal was slick against the pads of your fingertips. With eyelids clenched shut, your imagination began to roam, picturing the Third Prince of Rhodolite. To be fair, you’d never seen his bare body up close. Still, the way his lithe muscles flexed under his shirt, the sweat that trickled down his brow in the rare moments when you caught him fully focused, all of that had you unable to tear your eyes away from him. If you concentrated hard enough, you could almost feel his fingers roaming over your bare skin, smell the musky and woody undertones of his cologne, and taste the sweetness of his lips.

“Oh, fuck, Clavis. Right th—there.” A moan rose from your lips as your fingers began to quicken, rubbing gentle circles over the sensitive nub in your folds. It just wasn’t enough. You needed something to fill you up, and you knew exactly what you needed. In a pathetic attempt to chase your release, your fingers dove into your cunt, thrusting in sporadically to find that sweet spot you knew would have you seeing stars behind your eyes.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” A deep voice called out, abruptly jolting you out of your dirtiest fantasies. To your absolute horror, the exact man that you had been dreaming about stood in front of you. That mischievous smirk you couldn’t resist seemed to grow to even greater lengths, and his molten gold orbs were glazed over with a hunger you’d never seen before.

“H—How long have you been there?!” You shrieked, fist grasping at your blanket and squirming underneath the covers to save what tiny shred of dignity you had left. Your face was hot to the touch, and a vibrant red had painted your cheeks out of sheer embarrassment. This moment had to be one of your topmost embarrassing moments since taking on your official duties as Belle, and you weren’t sure if you’d remain Belle much longer if word of this got out. A million different scenarios were running through your brain as your widened eyes gazed upon his heated orbs in horror.

“Long enough to know you’ve been naughty, little bunny. Didn’t I tell you when you first came to the Castle – if you ever need anything, just let me know? So why is it that I find you here, struggling to please yourself, when you know I would have been more than willing to help you come undone?” His voice was silky smooth, and you swore you felt yourself get even wetter if that were possible. Like a leopard approaching its prey, he began to pounce, inching closer and closer to you until you felt your body shift with the weight of him on your bed. “Don’t stop just because of me. Show me how you pleasure yourself to thoughts of me, and I might just make your deepest desires come true.”

Every possible answer you could muster up popped into your mind. For a second, you even calculated how long it would take to get dressed and rush out of your room. But before you could make another move, Clavis had ripped the covers off you, exposing your dripping cunt to the chill of the air. His eyes raked up and down your naked form appreciatively, lingering for several beats on your shapely legs and stopping at the apex between your thighs. His hand trailed along the flesh of your thighs before gently prying them apart. Then, with his dextrous fingers, he trailed the tip of his index finger along your slick folds, picking up the evidence of your arousal, and proceeded to lap at his finger coated in your essence with his tongue.

The sight was enough to make you fall apart before his eyes, and you thanked the gods that you were able to keep it together long enough to take in everything. An absolutely sinful groan erupted from his chest as soon as your essence hit his tongue and his hand reached back towards your cunt. Your taste was sweeter than any ambrosia available to man, and he knew at that moment that he would never be able to let you go.

“Too late, little bunny. It’s my turn now.” In one swift movement, he lifted you from your spot and placed you on his lap, back pressing against his hard chest. You’d been worried about offending him, scaring him off so much that he would never deign to speak to you again. However, his hardened manhood poking against your fleshy rear managed to quash all of your concerns. At the very least, he was attracted to you, and that was all you needed at that moment.

“C-- Clavis, what are you doing?” Your voice came out several pitches higher than you intended it to, and you shifted around to meet his gaze. Right as your eyes landed on his, he immediately lurched forward and captured you in an all-consuming kiss. Lips melding against lips, tongues entangled together in a passionate dance. All you could do to ground yourself was thread your fingers into the soft tresses of his hair.

Right as you thought you’d settled into the rhythm of your kiss, Clavis’s hand slipped down to the apex of your thighs and began rubbing and teasing, coaxing you closer and closer to your undoing. Incoherent babbles fell from your lips, muffled only by the gentle pressing of the Prince’s lips against yours. His finger circled around the sensitive nub again and again. Then, inadvertently, your hips began rutting against his hand, eager to come undone as you felt that white-hot pleasure begin to spread from your lower belly.

“Come, little bunny. Let me see you fall apart, just for me.” His whisper ghosted against the shell of your ear, followed by a gentle nibble placed on your lobe. And who were you to deny his sensual command? At his words, that hot, white pleasure began cresting over your body in waves, again and again, until you were moaning his name at the top of your lungs. Even in your wildest dreams, with your intimate knowledge of your own body, you’d never been able to bring yourself to such a strong release before. It was like the Prince had you enchanted under a spell, capable of having you listen to his every whim.

Slowly, with each moment, your breath began to level as you came down from your release. Despite the intimate moment you two had shared earlier and the fact that you were naked in his arms, you were still mortified that the Prince had walked in on you, pleasuring yourself.

“I’m so sorry, Clavis… I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. If you want me to leave the Castle, I’ll do so right away. But, if I can just ask for one thing, please don’t tell Sariel or any of the other Princes what you saw….” You pleaded with him. Your innocent gaze was riddled with worry, and that worry only grew as you took in the unreadable expression on his face.

A dark chuckle slipped from his lips, and you could’ve sworn you felt his cock throb through the thin fabric of his pants. “What would be the fun in keeping this just between ourselves, hm?... If you truly want this to remain a secret between the two of us, you’ll have to promise me one thing.”

“Anything, I promise, I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I want to be the only person that’s allowed to make you come undone, and that’s including yourself. So from now on, when you want to feel good, you come to me.”

“Wh—what?” A part of you felt as though you didn’t hear the Prince’s request right. There was no way he was asking to be the only one that could make you come undone, right?

“You heard me, little bunny. I want you to be mine. So give your heart and your body to me. That’s the only way I’ll keep this little secret between the two of us.” And how could you resist him when he shot you that heartachingly sexy smile?

You might regret it in the future, but with a quick nod, you sealed your fate and entangled your life with the Hellcat of Rhodolite forever.

Fin.

[lordhelpme0-0]

IkePri: Leon’s Faction crack meetings

TW: mention of sex offenders, but it’s from a comedy short inspired…dark humor at play here

During a daily meeting on school terrorist attacks…

Leon: We need someone who actually will be brave enough to run in and stop an active terrorist in school.

Yves: why do I have a bad feeling about this.

Leon: I have an idea.

Licht: (-_-)?

Leon: registered sex offenders.

Jin: *chokes on lollipop*

Licht: (0-0)?!

Leon: We round all the registered sex offenders in the local area-

Yves: *stares in complete horror*

Leon: -trust me there’s a lot, I looked it up! *he meant Clavis actually-* 😔✋

Sariel: *regretting giving Leon this task*

Leon: -and we ask them politely-

Yves: *face palming hard*

Leon: -to watch the school. 😃

Jin: *still choking*

Leon: And yes! This happens to be their favorite thing to do! Okay! We DON’T arm them!

Licht: (0—︎0) *concerned af*

Leon: We put a tracking advice- *holds a bell collar stolen from Nokto* -so they stay SAFE distance at all TIMES!

Sariel: Prince Leon-!

Leon: JUST EYES! 😠👉👀

Jin: -HADgh! *chokes again somehow*

Leon: listen! I do not condone ped*philia! ✋😤

Yves: of course we don’t-!

Leon: But you and I both know, unlike half this fucking country-

Jin: *leans over hacking more*

Licht: 😨

Leon: -The ped*phones actually care about the survival of our kids, okay!

Sariel: *rubs head*

Jin: ADHWEEE-! *tears starting up as he try’s not to die*

Leon: So we ask them to watch the school, just eyes!

Yves:

Leon: and Father forbid, there’s a shooting. We tell them, “you RUN! You save the children! You do it for the children!”

Sariel: I-

Leon: and they will!!!

Licht: *blinks with even more confusion*

Leon: Because they love the kids, more than us!

Leon: and yes! If one of them dies, then we need to agree that father forgives. Okay?!

Leon: this about redemption now!

Licht:

Sariel:

Jin: *still hacking even more*

Yves:

Leon: and if they survive! Saving the school, then we make them superintendent.

Jin: *starts to wheeze and hacking on candy even more*

Leon: I don’t know, I haven’t really…thought that out…

Yves: *bangs head on table*

Leon: I’m just saying! The only thing that could stop a bad guy with a bomb, is a ped*phile with a cause. Alright?

Jin: *dies*

Leon: and that’s how you turn registered offender to registered defender!

Everyone beside Leon: …Leon NO-!

Mc/ Emma: *was here the whole time to choose the next king but end up hearing Leon weird propositions*

Meanwhile behind the wall next door…

Clavis: …should I tell Gilbert or Chevalier..?

Tags: @vio-simps-for-purple-characters @sange-de-romane @weird-profiterole @yanderepuck @pieground @evil-quartett @spoopy-fish-writes @a-chaotic-fae

Here the short I was inspired by:

[con-clavi-con-jae]

Thank you @hyperobsession for tagging me

Deathless - Lord of the Lost

Frightmare - Star Scream

The Scarlet - Diamond Black

After Forever - Black Sabbath

As The Earth Dies Screaming - Star Scream

Roses on White Lace - Alice Cooper

Wild Nights, Hot and Crazy Days - Judas Priest

Amber - Lord of the Lost

The Apparition - Sleep Token

Con Clavi Con Dio - Ghost

Weird that there isn't much Ghost or Sleep Token this week, but yk. Star Scream being here twice is to be expected (Adam Lightspeed is the love of my life and he knows I exist and talked to me twice holy fucking shit)

So yeah I'm tagging @hvnterzmoon and @crimsonclergy

I got tagged by the lovely @vampiric-angel-kay to do the thing with the first 10 songs on my spotify on repeat so here we go

1. Thursday Girl - Mitksi

2. THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND - Bad Omens

3. Mummy Dust - Ghost

4. Kiss the Go-Goat - Ghost

5. Jesus He Knows Me - Ghost (I love the og too tho)

6. The Summoning - Sleep Token

7. California Dreamin' - The Mamas & The Papas

8. See No Evil - Ghost

9. Eat Your Young (Bekons Choral Remix) - Hozier (I might see him in seattle EEEEEEEEEEE)

10. Fire Fire -Flyleaf (I love flyleaf sm ik they're a christian band they scratch an itch in my brain)

I'm gonna tag @ghostidiot @belissmatopolina @vatican3 @gravityflops and ughhh anyone who wants to join is free to!!!

[malachiexists13]

Spoilers for Licht's route i guess? Only really his dramatic end tbh-

Chapter 21 of Licht's route, chapter 1 of his dramatic end, and someone is already dead. Can't believe it took this long for someone to die tho, like chapter 1 of Chev's route, two people were already dead. Step up your game, Licht.

I am so sorry for my insensitivity. Uhh- rip to that random ambassador who died. Fuck the two assassins tho. I've been watching too much Kubz Scouts' Yan Sim videos. And no, I was not implying Licht killed that ambassador. Honestly, I think it may have been Clavis. He and Chev were acting weird af. But when are they not weird?

Anyways, its 10pm and I'm hella loopy from the fact I only ate McDonalds today after taking a 7hr long nap and Im still bleeding. Imma go work on a oneshot idea I had or maybe I'll finish one of the fuckin' like 10+ I have already partially written.

[heyhowyadoingpally]

gummy’s spooky halloween review of literally every ghost in luigi’s mansion that’s not all 50 boos i promise

because i need to do something for halloween and this last-minute things is better than me not doing remotely anything.

i’m not gonna put in a fancy graphic or anything. not gonna be too in-depth, either. just gonna be the ghosts, maybe a dumb joke, and a rating out of 10. so grab that candy corn and black licorice, sit down on your cobweb-riddled leather chair by the gothic fireplace, and pray to god that this whole thing gets done and over with.

the ghosts that aren’t trapped in painting purgatory (like the normal enemies and shit)

bats

fuck these assholes. these fucking cunts flap around the mansion and get in your way and the only way to get past them is fuckin sucking them up with the vacuum and they don’t even give you anything if you catch them. that’s how dumb they are.

rating: 3/10. i hope they choke. i mean, i hope their ghosts choke.

gold bats

are you shitting me.

are you actually shitting me.

like. the other gold ghosts in this game give you money, but these fuckers??? all they do is wait for you to attack first. fuckin great.

rating: 4/10. at least they’re nice enough to let you attack first.

blue twirler

check out this blue bastard. see that grin? see that fucking goofy-ass grin? you know that he’s dead and loving it. i can’t believe i made that joke.

rating: 7/10. a good ghost, but he’s not the best.

blue blaze

it’s a blue twirler but he’s all moist. you gotta frost him with ice.

oh yeah, if you’ve never played the game, you can unlock abilities like shooting fucking flames out of your vacuum. and ice. and water.

but that other garbage isn’t as important as luigi with a fuckin flamethrower

rating: 7/10. i’m not gonna fault him for being a reskinned enemy. i mean, if your gonna add elemental shit in your game it’s without a doubt that you’ll get shit like this.

boo

look, i’m not gonna do all 50 of them, as much as i’d like to sit here and do that.

since we all know that boos rank 500/10 on the ghostometer that i just made up right now, i’m going to go through the names of each boo and share my favorites as compensation:

GameBoo Advance

TurBoo

Boo La La

Kung Boo

Boodacious

Mr. Boojangles

Booscaster

Boolderdash

Bootique

bowling ghost

he’s literally a ghost that rolls bowling balls at you.

this whole ghost’s afterlife is spent rolling a bowling ball at people to be an inconvenience. that’s like. the best thing ever.

rating: 10/10. this fucker’s living the dream.

ceiling surprise

one time i creamed so hard that it made a ceiling surprise and i had to get a stepladder to clean it off

rating: 8/10.

falling star

that’s kinda odd if you think about it. i mean, falling stars are really just space rocks burning up in the atmosphere. does that mean this is the ghost of a space rock? fuck man, that’s metal as all shit.

rating: 10/10. god damn. i’m pissed that i didn’t think of this one.

flying fish

these are fish???

those are way too cute. holy shit. wow. fuck man. i want to hug them and love them and support them. holy shit. goddamn.

rating: a bazillion/10. holy mother of fuck.

garbage can ghost

OH NOW I GET IT. IT LOOKS LIKE A GARBAGE BAG.

fuck. i always thought it was supposed to be like. a monkey ghost or smth. damn.

well now i adore him even more. in case you can’t tell, i have a large soft spot in my heart for a certain garbage creature, so this is obviously a winner to me.

oh yeah. he eats ghost bananas and then throws the peels on the floor so that you can slip on them. what a goofball.

rating: two bazillions/10. need i say anything else

grabbing ghost

these motherfuckers just latch onto you and you have to waggle the joystick around to shake them off. and they also sound kinda like hillbillies.

idk why, but i always think of them as something else. the shape of their body reminds me of something i can’t think of...it’s....it’s on the tip of my tongue...

oh, i know!

a jalapeno pepper.

rating: 4206969/10. they just wanna hug.

gold ghost

this is probably the only other ghost with the word “gold” in its name that doesn’t reward you with money after you catch him. oh well.

i mean, they probably earned that name because there’s so many of them. and they all look the same....

huh.

so either so many people died and came back in this form, or ghosts are capable of reproducing with each other.

i’m just gonna let that mental image soak into your brain for a bit.

...

all set? no? oh, well. moving on.

rating: 8/10. a good bean.

temper terror

speedy spirit

like the other common ghosts, goldie here has an elemental counterpart of his own. i don’t have much to say, really.

rating: 5/10. not great, not terrible.

another reskin? alright, let’s see....

[✓]  he’s blue

[✓]  he’s fast

[✓]  he’s not a hedgehog

rating: too fast for me to handle

mice

they’re kinda like the bats in that they are ghosts of small animals and they’re everywhere. they’re like one of the only ghosts in the game that actively try to avoid you, tho, so that’s a neat opposition from the bats.

rating: 7/10. not the greatest things ever, but still cute.

gold mouse

like their flying counterparts. there are gold mice that can be found in some places. unlike their flying counterparts, these fuckers actually give you a shitton of money if you manage to catch one.

checkmate, batfucks.

rating: 10/10. i’m giving it such a high rating just so that bats can feel ashamed.

mr. bones

yes. there is actually an enemy in this game named mr. bones. this was before skeletons became a meme, mind you.

does that mean that nintendo is behind the skeletons? is nintendo run by skeletons?????? bones??????? jingle jangle xylophone bone marrow skeleton mandible clavicle tibia phalanges bones bones skeleton marrow bones calcium bones bon

jokes aside, the idea of a ghost skeleton is fucking awesome.

rating: 💀/10.

purple bomber

it’s literally a purple ceiling surprise, but instead of just giving you a simple spook, they straight-up throw a lit cartoon ghost bomb at you. like, the other ghosts don’t really want to kill you, but this brutal motherfucker produces a lethal weapon to lob at you. like, dude. you do realize that throwing bombs around like that could cause damage to your home, right?

or maybe he doesn’t care. i mean, fuck, look at that maniacal face. he’s a ghost. he doesn’t care about the safety of others. i wish i could be that careless.

rating: 10/10. he’s purple. he’s a ghost. and he’s a goofball. those are 3 of my favorite things.

purple puncher

these guys were always my favorite. idk why. they’re one of the more common ghosts, like the gold ghost. i wish i could pinpoint the exact reason why i was always drawn to this pink fuck (yeah, you’re not fooling anyone, buddy), but then again, if i had an exact reason i probably wouldn’t love him as much.

rating: 10/10. what a guy.

flash

aren’t all these ghosts flashers? i mean, they’re all naked.

this is another one of those “elemental ghosts”. this is where that fuckin flamethrower comes in handy. you literally burn this icy fucker alive.

rating: 9/10. look, he’s still a purple puncher. i’m always gonna love him, reskinned or not.

shy guy

the only other common enemy that’s an existing mario minion. sorta.

they’re dead shy guys.

the only way you can get them is by taking their masks off and then sucking them up with the vacuum while they’re caught off-guard. no, you don’t get to see their faces. 

rating: 11/10. cuties.

spark

they’re ghostly tonsil stones.

that’s-

that’s the only thing i can think of when i see them.

rating: 90/10. they’re too cute to be 10/10, but not medically-accurate enough to be 100/10.

finally, we’re done...

...with the common ghosts. meaning that there’s the bosses and their minions to cover.

oh fuck.

the ghosts that were living their normal lives until luigi decided to place into inescapable voids where they can never pass on into the afterlife, and the subordinates that work for them

neville

see this guy? all neville wanted to do is read his damn book. and then luigi comes along with his discriminatory mindset and ruined neville’s fuckin afterlife.

the dude was just reading a fuckin book. is that a crime?

rating: 10/10. he’s innocent, i swear.

lydia

neville’s missus. she looks kinda young. maybe after her husband died she committed suicide? that’s pretty fuckin grim to think about.

and yet luigi still barges into her room and takes her away from doing her makeup - the one thing that keeps her mind off the tragedies that happened so long ago.

rating: 10/10. she might be dead but she knows how to dress.

chauncey

i-...

how is anyone gonna talk about this.

he’s the ghost of a baby. there’s no other way of looking at it.

you could say that neville and lydia had sweet sweet ghost sex, but then you would have to be reminded that literally every ghost (aside from mr. bones) in this game lacks legs.

chauncey was an infant when he died. holy fuck.

and theN LUIGI HAS TO COME IN AND FUCK UP THIS BABY’S DAY. ALL CHAUNCEY WANTED TO DO IS PLAY WITH SOMEONE AND LUIGI STRAIGHT-UP ABUSED HIM. WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

rating: 10/10. i’m shocked i didn’t make any dead baby jokes.

the floating whirlindas

the spirits of a couple that loved each other so much that they couldn’t even be separated after death, forever dancing together in the mansion’s ballroom.

AND GUESS WHO FUCKING COMES IN AND DECIMATES WHAT LITTLE SANCTUM THEY HAD? THAT MOTHERFUCKING FARTGARGLER LUIGI.

rating: 10/10.

shivers

one of the mansion’s oldest inhabitants (he died in his 70s), shivers is a timid butler who roams the decrepit hallways, carrying an unlit candle in one hand, in search of the will his master left for him decades upon decades ago.

he has a strong fear of fire, which is why his candle is always unlit.

and so what does that cum-munching gargoyle luigi do? he uses his fucking flamethrower on the candle and makes shivers shit himself. and to add insult to injury the poor butler gets captured. christ, luigi. you’re even worse then fucking bowser.

rating: 11/10. he gets one extra point point because he’s had it rough. that, and he was never able to confess his feelings for his longtime crush,

melody pianissima.

yeah. shivers had a thing for this dead pianist.

i really don’t know what to say about her other than that she’s a total hottie

rating: 10/10

mr. luggs

FUCK what a large fella. he’s so humongous. and he gets to eat food forever??? fuck i want that kinda life.

rating: 10/10. tubby ha ha

waiter

AND mr. luggs has cute little ghost servants that bring him food????

he’s living the life. goddamn.

rating: 100/10. they’re just. really cute.

spooky

a literal ghost dog. named spooky. holy shit.

but if that doesn’t get your attention, you’ll be happy to know that the way luigi catches this cutie is by waking up a mr. bones ghost. because the dog really loves bones.

get it?

dogs? bones? skeletons?

whatever. i wish i was funny.

rating: 10/10.

BOGMIRE

BOGMIRE  BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BOGMIRE BO

rating: BOGMIRE/10.

black bogmire

as if The Best Ghost in The Entire Game Hands Down You Can’t Tell Me Otherwise wasn’t amazing enough, he spawns these translucent shadowy versions of himself during his boss fight, with sizes ranging from smol beans to big fellas.

basically, a big goopy friend has more goopy friends.

rating: BOGMIRE/10.

biff atlas

the resident buffguy in the mansion. did he die from roid rage? idk.

i don’t know enough about being healthy to make any jokes.

rating: 8/10. somebody’s probably jerked off to this guy.

miss petunia

all i’m gonna say about her is that luigi literally kidnaps her while she’s taking a shower.

this fucking green-capped madman must be stopped.

rating: 10/10.  she’s trying her best.

nana

i’m surprised it took this long to get an elderly ghost. like, a hella old ghost. older than 70 or 80 years old.

all she does is knit, but even little old ladies aren’t safe from that cold-blooded italian psychopath.

rating: 1776/10. get it? i’m saying she’s as old as the usa??? aren’t i funny??? ha ha ha????

slim bankshot

he’s a poolshark. that’s his gimmick.

rating: 6/20. the pool balls aren’t actually eyeballs or have teeth or anything cool like that.

henry and orville

the only other kid ghosts in this game. i mean, they’re not as young as chauncey, but the idea that both of these twins died at the same time is pretty fuckin terrifying.

naturally, they also wanted to play with luigi, guess where that got them.

rating: 9/10. naming them after the wright brothers gives me some mental images i’m not going to share.

madame clairvoya

the only ghost in the game that helps luigi find his missing brother. and since she knows that luigi is a merciless monster she lets him capture her without a fight.

rating: 40/10. she’s kinda hot, okay?

boolossus

literally a giant boo made up of smaller boos.

if you haven’t played the game, basically luigi frees a shitton of boos along with their king. no, boolossus is not the king. you dunce.

rating: 10000/10. i love boos

uncle grimmly

according to his official description, uncle grimmly apparently tends to keep to himself. everything about this guy reeks of malice. i mean, sure, some of the other spirits had spooky-sounding names, but if your actual last name is “grimmly” you’re probably a mortician who steals bodies from the morgue for your bizarre science experiments and sexual acts.

alright. i’m gonna say it right here and now:

i think grimmly killed his family and also caused the deaths of people who moved into the mansion afterwards.

or maybe i’m reading too hard into a video game for children.

rating: 100000000/10. pure evil.

clockwork soldiers

yeah, i know. i’m also surprised that it took this long for bosses based on toys.

although i don’t know how these toys became ghosts. the game doesn’t have anything to say about it, either, so...

then, again, this is the same game where a skeleton can become a ghost. i guess anything goes in the underworld.

rating: 10/10. at least they didn’t go for the “haunted doll” cliche.

sue pea

this is.

well.

i’m gonna let the official description speak for this one:

“What was meant to be a short nap seems to have turned into eternal rest for sweet Sue Pea.”

this seven-year-old lil bitch died in her sleep.

the fact that we’re not given any more information makes it even more unsettling to think about. did she have an illness? did someone make her huff poisonous gas?

like. shit dude. god DAMN.

rating: hardcore/10. nintendo seemed to have something against children back in 2001.

jarvis

ha ha. get it? JARvis?

he’s a ghost that has an antique jar fetish and he likes to hide inside his antique jars.

jarvis is not even an important ghost. he’s literally optional. the only reason luigi can go after him is because he gets rewarded with diamonds and cash when the ghost is captured.

luigi is a greedy cunt.

rating: 10/10. bad jokes aside, i think jarvis’s design is cute.

sir weston

he likes to haunt the cold storage room. i don’t know if that implies he died in there or what.

i mean, he’s clearly dressed for the cold, so i don’t think that’s what killed him. maybe he lived in the mansion and died during a mountain expedition? maybe his ghost found its way back home? fuck idk.

maybe uncle grimmly pushed him into the freezer and threw warm clothes in there to let him live a bit longer as well as throw the police off when they find the body.

rating: 10/10. the fact that he’s sir weston implies there’s more to this guy than we should really know.

vincent van gore

alright. that’s just as horrifying of a name as uncle grimmly.

his boss fight is actually kinda neat because he paints ghosts on his canvases and the ghosts come to life through supernatural means. maybe he’s opening portals to the ghost world to let the lesser spirits like the gold and purple fuckers out?

according to his official description, van gore could never sell a painting during his lifetime and the only reason he’s a ghost is because he’s persistent on not letting his art die along with him. talk about determination.

rating: 10/10. i feel like he’s in cahoots with grimmly. somehow.

king boo and “””bowser”””

the final boss of the game is literally king boo in a bowser costume. or maybe it’s a robotic bowser suit? idk.

the fight is a pain in the ass if you don’t know what you’re doing.

rating: 10000/10. look, it probably takes a LOT of work to make that fake bowser move so realistically. cut the ghoul some slack.

conclusion - what we learned:

luigi is an insane individual whose discriminatory beliefs caused him to take away the freedom that these spirits finally got after years of being confined in paintings.

uncle grimmly is the mastermind behind a cult operation of mass-killing anyone who steps foot in his mansion, even after his own passing.

the ghost bats are pieces of shit.

after about 4 hours of writing, this whole mess is done. you just wasted a few minutes of your life reading something trivial and irrelevant to anything else in your life.

be sure to come back in the next few days because i’m going to do the exact same thing with the second game.

[aesirfalling]

Highwind

Part 6 of 6 (Fang, Memories of Dust) - Together We Brought the Moon Down

Character/Full ATB Skill Study of the Final Fantasy XIII Cast Set to Nier: Automata Music.

The day the Order’s train from Luxerion dumps her in the middle of the Dead Dunes, Oerba Yun Fang realizes that maybe everything is meant to be after all.

She has always been the most fatalistic of all of them – well, Vanille and her both, but Vanille has always been braver, the right kind of valor or not – and here, with chaos infusions at the edge of her vision and corrupted waves eating away what is left of the world, the oldest hag on the planet once again finds herself surrounded by old, dead things with stories.

Well, if I can’t tell my own stories worth a damn for Vanille to listen to me, maybe she’ll listen to her gods and myths, she sighs, sweeping up a gremlin and two skeletons – and knows that she would spend most of her time in the desert hunting for the clavis.

  More than a thousand years of crystal sleep has not granted her much wisdom; what it has indeed granted, however, was perspective, and an enhancement of the natural charisma that had seen her marked on Gran Pulse all those centuries ago in the first place. My voice, she reflects, satisfied. It’s just as coarse as ever.

“Move your ass and abandon that time-locked room in the corner. The gods of this stupid world wait for no one.”

  The first night after they woke up from their second sleep, they had huddled together in the Wildlands, watching the sun set above the ruins of a city they had never truly seen. Fang had thought they would finally get to live. She had made so many plans, even planned to lure Snow out of his Patron-hole for some kind of wild adventure – yet Vanille had turned towards her, melancholy-despairing-crying, and she hadn’t been prepared for the fact that living with Vanille would be harder than dying with her.

“Hope is gone, Fang,” Vanille murmured, soft-obstinate-compassionate, and Fang couldn’t help but love her, that gentle soft light that combined with her own animalistic and forward strength had made for a resolve that could hold up the world. “He tried and couldn’t free us. God freed us. And God has a price.”

“Vanille, haven’t we learned that the gods can go fuck themselves?” She argued passionately, trying to hold Vanille, hold that poor girl up so that she wouldn’t drown. Vanille’s eyes were already under the ocean of her tears. It was at that moment that Fang realized it was never truly about what Anima or Bhunivelze had ever wanted; it was Vanille’s will to become an epitaph, and there just wasn’t enough space to carve her lover’s name into the same divinity.

“… I have to do it, Fang.”

“… I suppose we’ll have to disagree again, then.”

Maybe that had been why the pillar had cracked. Maybe it was all because she had just wanted Vanille to wake and live.

  Lightning could do in one day what a hundred of them could not in fifteen hundred.

Some people are god touched and Oerba Yun Fang just isn’t one of them.

  Once upon a time she thought Lightning was just like her – as Cocoon as she was Pulse, reveling in pulse-racing fights and flashing instinct, willing to tear down the entire sky for the sake of one person she loved more than anything in the world. Yet Lightning had abandoned that one person for a greater purpose, served a goddess that did not even exist in this plane, and gazing upon the Savior’s inscrutable face now, Fang wonders if Lightning Farron was indeed more like Vanille than she had ever thought.

Would you need someone to try to fight to save you, too?

She can’t stop for Lightning; not when Vanille is screaming in her dreams from every single person who has ever died in the past five hundred years, not when the world is ending, and not when Lightning herself doesn’t even seem like she wants to be saved. Vanille, to her credit, always at least regards her with that familiar well of fondness that makes her always just want to pull the peach-head into her arms and never let the girl go. She’ll continue to pick her battles. She’s always picked her battles.

And you can’t tell me Vanille’s soul is not worth all the hundred million other souls she’s trying desperately to save.

  “Vanille…”

“… Fang?”

“… Sleep with me.”

Vanille had smiled in that sanctum at Luxerion, a soft blushing spring breeze in a house of cold ritual and holy discipline. “Jeez, Fang, we’d slept together for more than a thousand years.”

“You know what I mean.” Hold me once. Before you leave. Before I have to go on this terrible fucking quest to try to save you. Do it so that I still know that you love me. Do it so that I can pull it from my heart and laugh at Bhunivelze’s face. “I… I need you.”

She reminisces about that night later, in the sealed bleakness of the Dead Dunes; Vanille’s touch, her lingering breath, the way they kissed each other’s wounds and tears clean. Do you remember the flowers, the bonfires of old Pulse, the looks in the elders’ eyes as we were chosen? Do you remember me, the way I’d call your name, the taste of me on your lips, the way I’ll walk all these thorns for you, in sun or rain?

She dreams of Vanille over cities in dust and wonders if there’s an ending to this dream, if Lightning would truly rewrite it all and perhaps even defeat God. Lightning’s world: probably more like Vanille’s than her own. Probably full of duty and sentimentality. Probably full of bunch of useless things that keep getting everyone in trouble.

But it’ll be a nice world. One worth living in. One worth fighting for, if Vanille wants to be in it, too.

  There are things that she doesn’t say, even to Lightning and Vanille. She’s not sorry for her secrets: she’s always had good reason, after all, and she trusts her heart with those things. Boisterous thoughts may fill up her life, but memories and family are eternally sacred.

Lightning has to investigate the unseen chaos in the Wildlands. She has an appointment with the Order and their God on the final day of the world. She turns on her boots, smirks, and walks off again.

I’ll see all of you soon.

Between the battle roar and unflinching steel she is a daughter of the desert, yet under the moon, in solitude, even the desert is tender.