#classy independent woman quotes

[loveframe]

Independent Girl Quotes and Sayings

In life, being independent means that you don’t always need someone else to take care of you. You are in control of your own life and you can make the decisions that are best for you. This doesn’t mean that you’re a lone wolf or that you’re not sociable.

It simply means that you know how to take care of yourself and that you’re not afraid to take risks. Here are Elegant Inspirational quotes about being independent and Independent quotes for girls living life on your own terms.

Independent Girl Quotes

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. – Nora Ephron

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. – Gloria Steinem

A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. – Melinda Gates

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me. – Ayn Rand

Once you figure out what respect tastes like, it tastes better than attention. – Pink

The kindest words my father said to me women like you drown the ocean. – Rupi Kaur

Don’t let anyone speak for you, and don’t rely on others to fight for you. – Michelle Obama

She was a wild one; always stomping on eggshells that everyone else tiptoed on. – Katlin Foster

I’m tough, ambitious and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. – Madonna

If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. – Maya Angelou

I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. – Angela Davis

Cute Independent Girl Quotes

As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they breathe fire. – Jessica Kirkland

I figure, if a girl wants to be a legend, she should go ahead and be one. – Calamity Jane

A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done. – Marge Piercy

She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear. – Atticus

The woman who doesn’t require validation from anyone are the most feared individuals on the planet. – Mohadesa Najumi

Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it. – Ziad K. Abdelnour

I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story— I will. – Amy Schumer

Of course, I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in. – Chimamanda Ngọzi Adichie, Independent Girl Quotes

Independent Girl Quotes for Instagram

I never dreamed about success. I worked on it. – Estee Lauder

You don’t worry about fitting in when you’re custom made. – Drake

I’d never been a good damsel in distress. I was a ‘hands-on’ damsel. – Jennifer Armintrout

There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. – Madeleine Albright

She was free in her wilderness, she was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man. – Roman Payne

Do not tame the wolf inside you just because you’ve met someone who does have the courage to handle you. – Belle Estreller

I would rather be thought of as smart, capable, strong and passionate than beautiful. These things all persist long after beauty fades. – Cassandra Duffy

You need to know that you’re enough – a mantra that has now ingrained itself so deeply within me that not a day goes by without hearing it chime in my head. – Meghan Markle

The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before. – Albert Einstein

Independent Girl Quotes for Instagram

I never dreamed about success. I worked on it. – Estee Lauder

You don’t worry about fitting in when you’re custom made. – Drake

Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women. – Maya Angelou

I’d never been a good damsel in distress. I was a ‘hands-on’ damsel. – Jennifer Armintrout

There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. – Madeleine Albright

She was free in her wilderness, she was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man. – Roman Payne

Do not tame the wolf inside you just because you’ve met someone who does have the courage to handle you. – Belle Estreller

I would rather be thought of as smart, capable, strong and passionate than beautiful. These things all persist long after beauty fades. – Cassandra Duffy

You need to know that you’re enough – a mantra that has now ingrained itself so deeply within me that not a day goes by without hearing it chime in my head. – Meghan Markle

Independent Girl Captions for Instagram

Women must learn to play the game as men do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

The most courageous act is to think for yourself. Aloud. – Coco Chanel

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship. – Louisa May Alcott

You don’t have to play masculine to be a strong woman. – Mary Elizabeth Winstead

She’s an old soul with young eyes, a vintage heart, and a beautiful mind. – Nicole Lyons

We, women, talk too much, but even then we don’t tell half what we know. – Nancy Astor

You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are. – Melissa Etheridge

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher

I am proud of the woman I am today, because I went through one hell of a time becoming her. – Unknown

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[classybitchhh101]

❗💅🏽

[theneondemonx]

Promising Young Woman | JJK

DRABBLE FROM HOUDINI

▽ summary: this is the first encounter between oc and Jungkook, when she was still a fifteen-year-old who used to sneak in movie theatres.

▽ genre: just.. normal shit.

▽ pairings: jk x fem!reader

▽ words: 886

▽ warnings: none really, I guess.

[⏵playlist]

No more than five people were in the movie theatre that afternoon. It didn’t surprise you: that’s what always happened when they were screening old movies. You had already watched The Big Sleep before, but you went anyways. You loved that movie, and you had a ridiculous crush on Humphrey Bogart – which was pretty weird for a fifteen-year-old like you were.

That’s the kind of man I want. Charming and confident. Effortlessly classy, but not an uptown prick. Unfortunately, they don’t make men like these anymore. Maybe they never did. Maybe he wasn’t like that either.

You sighed, taking a seat in one of the back rows of the dark room you had just snuck in. No one ever noticed you: you were a tiny girl with big innocent eyes, who could easily hide or pass for someone’s daughter. More likely, though, no one in there was paid enough to actually care.

You placed your feet on top of the empty seat in front of yours, resting your elbows on the armrests to comfortably enjoy the movie.

And you did.. for something like ten minutes.

You had felt someone entering the theatre and sitting behind you, but you didn’t feel the need to turn around. Why would you care? That need, however, soon became an imperative when you felt that person crossing his arms on top of your seat and leaning over to talk to you.

“Miss, can I see your ticket?”

You gulped, slowly turning to look behind your shoulders. A dark-haired boy was looking at you with a polite smile.

Shit!

The movie theatre was a small independent one, so their employees had no uniform or badge to show that they worked there. There was no reason for you to not believe the guy, so you started to frantically feel your pockets, as if you were looking for the ticket. It was all an act, of course. You didn’t have one, but you had to make him think you had paid for the movie.

“I think I’ve thrown it away. I can’t find it.” You murmured with your sweet voice, looking up at him with the face of a lost little angel.

He sighed, shaking his head and tapping his index finger on the top edge of your seat.

“I think you are lying to me, Miss. I saw you sneaking in.”

You blushed in embarrassment, and your teary eyes widened while your lips started to tremble.

“P-please, please, I promise I’ll never do it again. I have no money to pay for the ticket, but I will. I-I’ll clean the theatre to repay you.”

He chuckled, resting his chin on his crossed arms and tilting his head to look at you. Even though the room was pretty dark, you could notice that he was a good-looking boy – which made you feel even more embarrassed, somehow.

“What’s your name, honey?”

“Y/N.”

Your voice was a mere whisper.

“And how old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

He raised his eyebrows, smiling to himself.

“You look younger.”

Yeah, everyone tells me so.

“And you like these kind of movies, Y/N?”

You just nodded, sniffling a bit.

“What do you like about them?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, surprised by the question to which you didn’t really know how to respond.

“Mh.. I don’t know. I like the fact that they don’t bomb you with special effects or absurd plots to get your attention. They don’t feel the need to constantly entertain you.” You shrugged. “They have an honest way to play pretend.”

New movies, on the other hand, I find them suffocating. They look like sad clowns trying to force a laugh out of you with every mean they have.

He smiled at you, staring in silence like he was admiring something only he could see. Again, you blushed, lowering your eyes to avoid the intimate contact with his.

“As honest as you can expect a man to be in a world where its going out of style.”

The quote was from the book the movie was based on, but since you had not read it, you didn’t get the reference and just stared at him, speechless, with your lips parted. You felt a sudden admiration towards that boy you knew nothing about.

He noticed and smiled at you like an angel.

“Let’s make a deal, Y/N. I’ll let you finish your movie in peace, but only if you promise me you’ll let me buy you an ice cream once it’s over.”

“B-but.. don’t you have to work?”

He shrugged with easiness.

“My shift ended fifteen minutes ago.”

You bit your lower lip, thinking about his proposition for a few seconds. Then, you nodded vigorously.

“Okay then.”

“By the way, my name is Jungkook.”

 It took you weeks to understand that he didn’t actually work there and that he had snuck inside the theatre just like you did. It took you months to realize that a lot of what he said was taken from books. It took you years to figure out that he wasn’t just a smooth talker, but an all around pathological liar.

Maybe he was never a Bogart. But to me he was the next best thing. As honest as you can expect a man to be in a world where its going out of style.

[grizzledyoungimpact]

Pairing: Brian Pillman Jr/Scarlett James Quote: “How doth the little crocodile improve his shining scale?” Verse: Music

There were styles of music that just weren’t popular anymore. It was a fact of life that fads came and went. Pet rocks, bell bottoms, and unfortunately in this case surf rock were all considered some of these fads. The lack of popularity, however, didn’t stop the duo known as The Varsity Blondes from making the music that they wanted to make or from loving every second of it. The Varsity Blondes were comprised of two men: Griff Garrison and Brian Pillman Jr. Griff was a bright-eyed young drummer who had no former ties to the music industry. He had met Brian Pillman Jr in high school and the two had become best friends. Brian, on the other hand, had seen how major record labels could treat their talent. His old man had once been a major rockstar who had started in his own duo before making the big jump to being his own star. Brian had seen how little labels cared for the talent, hell, he had been completely changed by how little labels cared. Maybe that’s why he stuck to such a little-loved music genre. It still afforded Brian to put his heart and soul into something he loved, but it meant he didn’t have to devote himself to a label. He and Griff could remain independent, traveling from town to town to play little bars and venues for an admittedly small, but dedicated, fanbase. Coupled with some of the other bands the duo played with, sometimes the crowd could get pretty big. That’s part of why this gig felt so different. The venue was, admittedly, a little out of their usual playing area. After all, the duo was used to dive bars and small clubs. This place was, well, classy. Tara was a little beachside bar whose usual music tended to be that of smooth jazz and the lounge singer variety, which was attributed to the owner, Delilah James. Delilah was a former singer in her own right, preferring classics and softer music. It had been a mystery to Griff and Brian why they had been hired until they met Delilah’s husband: Joey Janella. Joey was also a man who enjoyed the music of a bygone era. With his little brother Dakota and their friend Marko Stunt, the trio made up the 80’s inspired punk band Air Raid Crash. The Varsity Blondes had played a festival with Air Raid Crash since before, where Joey had taken a liking to the two boys. Especially Brian. It was fitting, seeing as how Brian Sr. had inspired the three boys that made up Air Raid Crash into their own music. Brian had been setting up for the set at Tara when he first spotted her. Even from across the closed bar, her nose buried in a book, Brian could see how beautiful she looked. Long brown hair hung over her the shoulders of a youthful frame, while blue eyes scanned the pages of what Brian could only assume was a textbook. After all, no one read anything that size for fun, right? “My dude, you know who that is, right?” Griff asked as he looked up from his drumset. “An angel?” Brian gave a wide grin, “My angel?” “No, dude, that’s Scarlett James. The owner's daughter,” Griff laughed as he twirled the drumstick in his hand, “She’s, like, some college student. Studies something deep.” That was all it took for the young man to cross over to the brunette’s table. He cleared his throat to try and get her attention, but when that didn’t work, Brian simply sat across from her. Scarlett was lost to the world and there was something powerful about such a trait. He knew how he got when writing his lyrics, so he knew how intent this woman must have been on her book, “Miss James?” The young brunette was startled out of her thoughts, looking across at him with gentle blue doe eyes. She pushed a strand of brown hair behind her ear, a soft but confused smile over full lips, “Oh…we…Brian isn’t it? You’re one of the musician's mama hired for tonight?” Hearing his name from the southern accented voice only affirmed to Brian that, yes, she was an angel, “Oh, huh, yeah, that’s me! You…you know me?” “Her and papa talk very highly about your family, about you,” Scarlett gave a warm smile, using one of the napkins on the table to save her spot in her book. Brian could see the cover, a classic-looking black leather with the title inscribed in a gold cursive: Alice In Wonderland. “Don’t judge me t’ hard? I know it’s a kids' book but-“ “Is it good? I…I never read the book,” Brian admitted as he ran a large hand through his shaggy mane of blonde hair. “Oh! Yeah, it’s one of my favorites,” Scarlett admitted, a pink blush on her soft cheeks. Brian felt his heart beat faster the more he watched the gentle southerner, “You…you read a lot?” “Nah I…uh…reading isn’t my forte,” Brian shrugged his shoulder, “Nah, I like my music. Uh…you like music?” He cursed the question, of course. Everyone loved music, what kind of idiot was he. The light giggle from Scarlett let Brian know it wasn’t as stupid as he thought, “Yeah! I’m partial to my Aunt Mickie’s music, but my dad and the boys do good ones too! I…I’ll admit I’ve heard you and Mr. Garrison play at Spring Break! You’re good!” Spring Break was the festival that Air Raid Crash and The Varsity Blondes had played together and Brian wondered why he hadn’t met her until now. “Thanks, ma’am! I…uh…I don’t remember meeting you. Why?” “College,” Scarlett admitted. Brian reminded himself to give Griff props. It wasn’t often his friend was right. “I stayed in my pop’s trailer most of the night studying.” “College, huh? Recitations and all that?” Brian grinned, before making a reference to the movie he had mentioned before, “How doth the little crocodile improve his shining scale?” Why had he said that!? Of all the foolish things to say in front of a pretty girl?! But then again, there was that giggle. That giggle was bright and soft, letting Brian know that he was saying the right things to keep her attention. “Psychology major. I…I want to be a therapist, help people.” “Better ‘n what I’m doing,” Brian grinned, leaning back in his chair, “So…uh…you gonna be sticking around for the show?” “You know, Brian, I just might,” she charmed before her attention was drawn to the nearby stage, where Griff was watching the two intently. When noticed, Griff ducked his head nervously, “If you and your friend want, we could get some food? I know a place nearby?” To Brian, that seemed like a plan.

[jypbae7]

GOT7 as a Boyfriend based off their Zodiac Sign

Jinyoung | Jackson | Yugyeom | Jaebum | Mark | Youngjae | Bambam |

All in good fun based off their signs & their behaviors/quotes! Don’t take it too serious!

BAMBAM - TAURUS

Traits that match his sign:

Ahhhhh yes the flashy earth sign of the bunch, as we allllll can already see. You can see the vibe difference just by looking at him compared to the Virgos (JY, YJ, MT) and Capricorn (JB)

He’s all about “work hard, play hard” - as are all Taurus

He takes his fashion and his confidence seriously, they make him feel good and he tries to encourage other people to try new things and “treat yo self” as well

Taurus (like all Earth signs) are huge on family and friendships but the men tend to go in one extreme or another - either lifetime bachelor and serial dater or he’s gonna settle tf down and have kids and the whole nine.

IF he does settle down (which I think Bam will based off the hoard of cat children) omg he’ll be a great dad who’s not only supportive and has great knowledge to give but is chill & fun af! The kind of parent you can tell every and anything to and they’ll have your back AND be able to laugh about it with you

He will fly you every and anywhere whenever he can - Thailand (of course), Paris, wherever he feels like honestly.

Is so vulnerable with you once he’s comfortable - laying beside each other late at night and telling you all the stories he doesn’t really tell anyone else (you better comfort him and hold his little baby heart gently!!!)

HE LOVES BEING LITTLE SPOON AS MUCH AS BIG SPOON

Wants to go shopping all the time

Runway show dates, fashion week is quite frankly not ready for Bambam and his significant other

Couple outfits galore (only designer of course), luxe hotel stays galore

Bomb couples pics, wouldn’t surprise me if he wanted to have professional photoshoots with you all the time

Feels soooo proud when does well in his career and when you praise him for his hard work, ethic, and talent

Cat dad af and loves that you love them too

Oof when he mad….he MAD. Loud and serious. Good news is that it happens infrequently and he’s mostly a happy boy and he prefers to stay that way

Sooo many food dates that boy is slim but he can eat for days

Is generally confident but it still really helps him feel secure (and overjoyed) when you praise him, especially when you refer to him as your bias

Will send you previews of his new raps to get your opinion

While he does like going out, after being busy for a while or on tour he likes to literally hibernate with you and the cats. It’s his actual heaven to just Netflix and eat, wearing comfy little pjs and cuddling and being goofs. Definitely will try to play video games with you

The kind of KING to love doing face masks together especially during movie night at home

18+ Traits:

Masculine & bold af

Silk sheets and blindfolds

KINKY AF but in a more classy Sir/Daddy vibes way- BBam is the type of guy that always showers and smells amazing before he lets anyone touch him also the type of man to have candles going at all times bc young & rich - so kinky for him is blindfolds, handcuffs, lingerie, shower/bath sex and outdoor/risky location sex

Prefers someone with edgy taste or varied sense of style - like someone who frequently changes hair color or clothing style, or has tattoos or piercings etc.

Mental stimulation is important! He’d like someone successful like himself because he’s really independent and gonna wanna continue having his own things separately. He’d also find it a major turn on to be with a hard working professional woman especially when you talk passionately about what you do.

A very experimental and curious lover who will often want to try new things therefore he will need an open minded partner - your body is his wonderland he wants to explore every part of it with no limits. The longer you’re together the more kinks he’ll develop lol

On the other hand he’s super interested in fulfilling your fantasies as well and is amazing with aftercare

He’ll wrap you up in the blankets and order food while you watch tv and snuggle with the cats - literal heaven I know

Every once in a while, especially when you’ve been apart for a while he’ll switch it up and opt for a slow tender session - steamy passionate round after round, lots of kissing, he’ll lick wherever he can reach while in you, hand holding, slow but hard deep movements

Turn ons:

Doing it/teasing in risky and or public places

Oral - one word: LIPS

His perfect night ends with a couple beers and you, he can never get tired of tipsy/drink sex

Secretly gets turned on when jealous (as long as there’s no actual threat/boundary crossing) - if he sees guys check you out or flirt he’ll be extra dominant and rough when you guys are alone. Will also make subtle dominant/possessive gestures like put a hand on your butt or hold you extra close in front of them.

NUDES - tasteful ones in expensive lingerie that look Vogue chic & effortless.

Or STRAIGHT KINK (latex, costumes, videos) no inbetween

Completely naked except jewelry and heels would make him explode

DREAMS to engage with multiple partners

Dirty talk

Car sex, possibly even plane sex if he can get away with it

[souvercine]

hey y’all ! i’m jia and i’m super excited for opening; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk !

tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but xan’s basic stats and a proper wc page will be up soon as i just got home from grocery shopping and we open in an hour as of typing this, the theme as a whole will get a refresh eventually and i’ll be posting a little tracklist for her playlist later ! and if tumblr ims are as much of a nuisance for you as they can be for me, you can add me on d*scord at genuinely sick of this shit#2030 if you’d like to plot ! anyways, without further ado:

( samantha logan , cis female , she/her, twenty-four ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . xanthe lowe ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ when they go high, she goes lowe ! xan spotted leaving a gala with her former friend’s ex, after last week’s reportedly tense exchange between the girls ” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently merciless and imperious . but i’ve heard they’re also conspicuous and astute ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous socialite ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that redacted , but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan !

tw: drug mention

when i tell you that i have so many muse posts i’m holding back on for this bitch —

which, btw, will all slowly see the light of day soon enough bc god knows i can’t articulate my muses’ personalities as well as i’d like so that shit makes up for it fdgslk

her parents’ eldest child together, xanthe’s also the oldest out of her and her siblings

also, never call her xanthe. friend or otherwise, don’t take the risk dklgsjdlk

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant and her mother being an entrepreneur with a love for art ( so much so that her two partners after separating from xan’s dad were artists themselves sdlkgj )

thus she split her time between toronto and manhattan even before her parents’ divorce, she merely spent more time jetting back and forth for special occasions and vacations compared to when her parents were still together

mind you, she was probably still in the single digits when that became a new normal for the brat

basically could’ve been a main character on gossip girl with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even sgdlkf

drk how to elaborate on that, aside from stressing that from her teen years onward she’s presented her own take of a rich bitch, and is a socialite/fashion week regular type if i were to describe where she stands rn

i think a good mix of references would be nicky hilton meets the delevingne sisters meets blair waldorf and sabrina pemberton’s lovechild

she attended an ivy league at the behest of her father so he had at least one child who could take a senior position in his company simply to keep it in the family

.. before he realized what a Mistake™ it would be to put that responsibility on xan and now has her slightly older cousin as a backup instead GDSLFJKS but nonetheless !

isn’t the most studious person, but she somehow wound up graduating with a major in communications and a marketing minor

she reasoned that, with her reputation in the gta and nyc, she’d need the bit of knowledge in how to clean up her messes. even if she wasn’t the one who had that responsibility

though.. the entire time has been spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

as of now, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties wherever she might be at a given time, staying in the good graces of the media as a budding, fun yet classy heiress — despite doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club

uhhh ik i had something else to add but a quick break for dinner messed that up, rip LKGFSJD

personality and shit

her little blurb on my indie is: refined party girl still set in her ways with her future left uncompromised; detached and pretentious, she soaks up the attention that continues to roll in

which. we’ve basically been over already lkdfsg but still

if i were to use a label to describe her, she’d be the sovereign

she’s messy as hell, but puts on the façade of a poised woman who has some fun because she knows it bodes well

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful

big superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

probably jets back and forth between nyc and the gta as it’s her version of normal, so ig she hates the environment if it means not having things go her way !

non-committal as all hell and will abandon girl code if she drops you fgkljfs

.. fr, she’ll fuck an ex-friend’s ex if she technically saw them first, so being spiteful and resolving some past attraction ?? right up her alley !

hence the choice of headline gdfslkj

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her image and won’t hesitate to throw anyone under the bus to do so/in retaliation if they screw her over

which happens to mean that her family is to be protected as well. fuck with any of her sisters ?? you’re done ! try to call out one of her brothers on twitter ? she’ll quote it with a single clown emoji as a warning

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away ksfdg )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two that she made in either of her main hubs or through events she attended when she was young, whether they’re still friends or not for x reasons can be discussed of course

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made in the last few years

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

it should go without saying that they are all relatively wealthy or well-connected kids here, but that doesn’t mean that someone who’s using her for their fifteen seconds of fame, or just to get some perks out of their friendship, is necessarily a write-off — not that she cares too much about fake friends, face value hype and knowing they need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since age two, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Ruining KISStory: A Filthy, Filthy Story About Benjamin Franklin

So in celebration of surviving my French midterm (my anxiety over it was through the roof for some damn reason), I decided I would post this crazy little thing for y’all! So in like, actual real life, Shane for a while did his own show called Ruining History, which I totally recommend for you guys to actually watch. So this is a spinoff of my KISS Unsolved AU, appropriately named Ruining KISStory (a name I’m super fucking proud of actually XD), in which our resident Queen of the Trolls Paul Stanley gives us his own creative spin on historical events. And yes, it’s going to be just as chaotic as Unsolved lol. Here’s the link to the original episode if you want to watch that first. 

And now, without further ado, enjoy!

Tag list: @cosmicrealmofkissteria​  @ashestoashesvvi​  @kategwidt​  @retronova​

[camera opens on Paul, who is sitting at a panel. A map of the world is hung up behind him. The sound of tuning violins plays in the background]

PAUL: Some people think history is boring. But I think Benjamin Franklin might have been in some weird sex parties!

[intro, then title card. Grand orchestra music plays in the background]

[cuts back to the panel; the shot has been widened so the entire panel is visible. From left to right: Vinnie, Gene, Paul, Eric C., Tommy. Labels showing their names come up on screen]

PAUL: So what do you guys know about Ben Franklin?

VINNIE: … Kites!

ERIC: Ethics?

TOMMY: Oh! He used the kite and a key and discovered electricity!

GENE: Oh yeah, we learned about that in school.

PAUL: Pretty sure every school tells that story.

GENE: He also helped Nicholas Cage find treasure.

PAUL: [gives him a withering look before turning away] Okay. [Tommy laughs]

[screen cuts away to a title card:

CHAPTER I:

THE AMERICAN OVERACHIEVER

screen then cuts to animations as Paul narrates, while inspiring music you would hear in a film set during the American Revolution plays in the background]

PAUL [voiceover]: Born in 1706, Benjamin Franklin is often thought of as the model American citizen. Throughout his life, he was… well, he was a lot of things. Seriously, a lot of things.

[a list of text boxes appears on screen next to a picture of a statue of Benjamin Franklin:

POLITICIAN

AUTHOR

SCIENTIST

CIVIC LEADER

POSTMASTER

MEDIA MOGUL

INVENTOR

DIPLOMAT

I COULD KEEP GOING BUT YOU GET IT]

PAUL [voiceover]: Beyond all that, though, he seems like the kind of guy you wouldn’t mind having a drink with. But, if you did spend some quality time with Ben Franklin, things might get weird.

[cuts back to panel; Vinnie looks intrigued]

VINNIE: By weird, do you mean [waggles his eyebrows] weird or just eccentric-weird?

PAUL: I mean [waggles his eyebrows] weird.

ERIC: [looks a little nervous] Oh no… I really liked Ben Franklin as a kid.

GENE: Well, he’s gonna ruin the history books for ya, Eric.

TOMMY: Oh is that why it’s called Ruining History?

PAUL: Yep!

TOMMY: Nice, I like that.

PAUL: Thank you. [cuts back to animation sequence]

PAUL [voiceover]: In the years during and after America’s fight for independence, Franklin spent much of his time serving as a diplomat in Europe. And it’s a good thing he did. Author Walter Isaacson has argued that America wouldn’t have won the war without Franklin’s excellent diplomacy in France. It wasn’t all politics, though. At the time, Paris was regarded as one of the most cosmopolitan cities at that time in history. And a wave of cultural enlightenment paired with a strong economy gave the upper class the means to… well… [music intensifies] have many crazy, crazy, crazy… crazy nights…

But we’ll get to that in a second! Franklin seemed to find himself right at home in this environment. To give an idea of his bohemian life abroad, here’s a curious morning routine he picked up during his time in France.

GENE: I bet it was, powder on the balls. [Eric laughs]

PAUL: [snickering] Powder the wig, powder the balls.

TOMMY: Powder the balls, get out on the street, and do something! [Vinnie laughs]

PAUL [voiceover]: While writing to a friend of his, Franklin described his habit of taking what he called “air baths.” Quote, “I rise almost every morning and sit in my chamber without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing. The practice is not in the least bit painful, but on the contrary, agreeable.”

[cuts to the left side of the panel. Gene looks uncomfortable, while Vinnie just gives a raised eyebrow]

GENE: I don’t know what it was about how people wrote during this time, but describing sexual acts in this kinda language makes it dirtier than it actually is.

PAUL: There’s nothing sexual about this.

VINNIE: There’s no sexuality here, Genie, your mind is just dirty.

TOMMY: Yeah, he’s just sitting around his house naked.

VINNIE: I mean if the hand just happens to fall…

GENE: Vinnie, I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, but guys—we don’t just jerk off on accident!

ERIC: I mean… I have no idea how to respond to that.

PAUL: I think some guys do.

TOMMY: Peter does.

PAUL: [raises an eyebrow at him while they all turn to stare at Tommy] … How do you know that?

ERIC: I could’ve gone my whole life without hearing that. [cuts back to the animation sequence]

PAUL [voiceover]: Franklin’s social calendar in Europe was full of invites to gluttonous but incredibly classy all-night ragers, where his status as an American statesmen made him a pretty interesting guy. The women of France allegedly couldn’t get enough of him. One account describes hundreds of women surrounding him, placing a beautiful wreath upon his head, and lining up to kiss him.

ERIC: That didn’t happen… right?

PAUL: [shrugs] I dunno, it could have happened.

VINNIE: That sounds like something you would do to your old grandpa, though.

[silence. Everyone on the panel turns to stare at Vinnie in confusion]

TOMMY: What?

GENE: So you’re saying, at family gatherings—

VINNIE: No! I’m just saying, that doesn’t seem like something you’d do to someone you wanna get with. Like, would you put a funny hat on them? No. [silence] I’m just saying, you guys!

[cuts back to animation sequence]

PAUL [voiceover]: Ben’s home life was, according to accounts, equally spicy. When famous painter Charles Willson Peale paid Franklin a surprise visit one afternoon, he spied the elderly diplomat with a young woman seated on his lap. [cuts to a sketch showing a man with a woman on his lap] This sketch of his is believed to depict the two. Kinda weird that he would sketch that, but hey.

[cuts to the panel; everyone is looking at their own copies of the sketch]

GENE: She seems to have a pretty good grip on his balls.

TOMMY: That’s a, a vice-like grip there.

VINNIE: They’re still wearing pretty much everything.

ERIC: Did you guys notice their eyes? Their eyes are open and they’re just staring at each other.

PAUL: Yeah, their eyes are pretty striking.

VINNIE: Yeah…

ERIC: They’re kissing, but it’s, it’s a little unnerving. Wonder why the guy would sketch this…

PAUL [voiceover]: Some historians have evaluated Ben Franklin’s habit of charming the elite women of Europe as a strategic ploy, suspecting that he hoped that they would speak favorably of Franklin and his case for American liberty to their policy-making husbands. But many others argue that he was just a vulgar old man. Author Albert Henry Smith wrote that Franklin’s, quote, “animal instincts and passions were strong and rank.”

VINNIE: [looks mildly disgusted] Well that’s descriptive.

GENE: [snickering]: Y’know, good old animal Ben.

PAUL: An animal…

GENE: Hey, hey: I’m an animal.

PAUL: [stares for a second, then smiles] Ah!

GENE: Ah! [high-fives Paul]

ERIC: Wait, if he was born in… when was he born?

PAUL: 1706.

ERIC: If he was born in 1706… then how old was he when all this was happening?

PAUL: He would have been… probably between his late 60s and early 70s.

[Eric’s face looks very shocked, slowly contorting into disgust]

TOMMY: Oh man, he was as old as my grandpa!

GENE: [shrugs] Hey, if it still works… [cuts back to animation sequence]

PAUL [voiceover]: Based on Franklin’s party-animal-rock-star lifestyle, it makes sense that he would be in the same social circles as some of Europe’s more notorious scoundrels; and so he was. So let us now turn our attention to a man whose life would soon intersect with Franklin’s: Sir Francis Dashwood.

VINNIE: [snickering] Very English name. [mock British accent] Sir Francis Dashwood!

[screen cuts away to a title card:

CHAPTER II

THE FANCY ENGLISH SEX MAN

lighthearted music plays]

PAUL [voiceover]: Born in 1708, Sir Francis Dashwood was the only heir of a wealthy merchant. He’s perhaps best summed up by one author’s description: “An enormously rich man with a genius for obscenity.” Dashwood’s primary interests were seemingly set in stone when in his formative years, he embarked on his Grand Tour, a traditional rite of passage during which wealthy young men traveled through Europe on a cultural odyssey. As Dashwood’s tutor put it, he, quote, “fornicated his way across Europe.” In one instance, he even seduced the Empress of Russia while claiming to be Charles the Twelfth of Sweden, a man who was, at that point, dead.

TOMMY: Wait, did she not know Charles the Twelfth was dead?

PAUL: I mean, if she got fooled by this guy, I’m pretty sure she had no idea.

VINNIE: This was the era before email and the Internet, so word traveled pretty slowly. Also, [laughs] I love how his tutor says he pretty much fucked his way across Europe.

GENE: Wonder how he got her to sleep with him…

ERIC: I don’t think we need to know the details, Gene.

GENE: Maybe you don’t.

PAUL [voiceover; tense music plays]: These travels also inspired Dashwood’s fascination with sacred rituals of the past. He wasn’t really a fan of the religious institutions of his day, but he was simultaneously fascinated with Europe’s rich history. So when he wasn’t womanizing, he was sauntering through dusty catacombs lined with mummified corpses, or sitting in old Roman ruins imagining the orgies of the past. So it’s this odd mutual appreciation for debauchery and sacred history that would lead to Dashwood’s crowning achievement and ultimately his friendship with Ben Franklin: the Friars of St. Francis of Wycombe. Or, as it was more popularly known…

[music reaches a climactic peak as the name appears on screen over burning flames. Paul reads the name]

THE HELLFIRE CLUB!

GENE: Oh shit.

VINNIE: That sounds awesome.

PAUL [voiceover]: Dashwood’s Hellfire Club was meant to attract the most depraved and intellectual men of the time. And over the course of its history, its lineup would allegedly include such notable men as the Prime Minister of England, the Lord Mayor of London, several of England’s greatest artists and poets, the Prince of Wales, and possibly, as evidence would strongly suggest, Ben Franklin. See, Dashwood was publicly known to sympathize with the cause of the American rebels, and he had exchanged letters with Franklin many times. Furthermore, Franklin actually visited Dashwood’s estate at West Wycombe for an extended period in July of 1772, and during his stay, there is a record of a club meeting taking place. According to one author, quote, “there seems to be no reason why Franklin should have gone to Wycombe at this special time unless he was a member. Only club members were allowed at Dashwood’s estate during club meetings.” So, keeping in mind Franklin’s likely involvement, let’s look at what he would have encountered during his visits with the Friars of St. Francis of Wycombe.

The members of the club reportedly donned white monk’s robes, and were each allowed to invite along, quote, “a lady of a cheerful, lively disposition, to improve the general hilarity.” These women also dressed up, wearing nun’s robes and masks to avoid an embarrassing run-in with a husband or acquaintance.

GENE: This is some freaky stuff.

VINNIE: [looks enthralled] This is awesome.

TOMMY: Eyes Wide Shut…

PAUL: [nods] Yep.

PAUL [voiceover]: The first location of the Hellfire Club was on the shores of an island in the Thames River. Shrouded in a thick grove of elm trees, the island was the perfect location for the not-monks to spend an evening with their dates away from the prying eyes of the public. It was also ideal because it was home to the crumbling remnants of an old medieval ruin built in 1160 known as Medmenham Abbey. Dashwood actually set about reconstructing the site, but since he had a flair for the dramatic, he asked that it still resemble a creepy old ruin. But he did install a few upgrades:

A series of stained glass windows depicting the club members in, quote, “indecent poses.”

A brilliant pornographic fresco that John Wilkes, who wasn’t known to shy away from vulgarity himself, described as, quote, “unspeakable.”

And an expansive library stocked with classical literature as well as, quote, “the finest collection of pornographic books in Great Britain.”

PAUL: So to help us get more immersed in what went down at a club meeting, I’ve provided for all of you the proper tools.

[everyone looks under the table and takes out boxes. In the boxes are black robes, 1700s-style hats, some with feathers sticking out, and Venetian masquerade masks that are black and a different color. Vinnie has black and gold, Gene has black and red, Paul has black and purple, Eric has black and orange, and Tommy has black and blue]

GENE: [as they’re all putting on their costumes] Man, you really went all out, didn’t you?

PAUL: Oh, just wait.

ERIC: I will say, I do feel more immersed in the experience now.

TOMMY: This is pretty awesome.

PAUL: Okay, now that we’re all dressed up, let’s get into the juicy stuff!

VINNIE: [looks incredibly excited] I can’t wait.

GENE: [laughs] You look so excited.

VINNIE: Because I am. [bangs rhythmically on the table] Get to the juicy stuff, Paulie!

[screen cuts to a title card:

CHAPTER III

THE DEBAUCHERY BEGINS

slow, tense music plays and animations show events as Paul narrates]

PAUL [voiceover]: In the cover of night, the hooded monks and their dates would arrive to the island on a red gondola. Stepping ashore, they were greeted by the far-off drone of the abbey’s organ and the ringing of a ghostly church bell. Outside the abbey, they’d come upon an ominous statue of Harpocrates, the Egyptian god of silence. [a statue of Harpocrates is shown with a finger over his lips, and a voice that sounds like Paul’s whispers “Shhhhhhut the fuck uuuup…”]

Once inside the abbey, Dashwood would pour his guests a special cocktail of brandy and brimstone, and they’d all raise their glasses in a toast to the powers of darkness.

VINNIE: This sounds fucking a-ma-zing! I love theme parties, and this is just, just fucking amazing. I wouldn’t stay for the sex, though.

GENE: You’d just be there for the theme part?

VINNIE: Yeah, I’d do all this, then when they start doin’ it, I’d just duck out.

PAUL: Also, before we continue, I was actually able to, to make this more immersive… [reaches under the table and pulls out a bottle of wine]

VINNIE: Ooooh, nice!

TOMMY: Is it the brandy and brimstone cocktail?

PAUL: [laughs] Heh, no, it’s not, it’s just wine. I also have… [reaches under the table and pulls out five silver ornate goblets] these babies! [passes them out]

ERIC: [looks over his in fascination] Wow, these are awesome! Where’d you get these?

PAUL: [laughs] The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. [Eric laughs]

GENE: Oh yeah, you took Erin there for her birthday a while ago.

PAUL: Yep, and I got these. [they all pour wine into their goblets and raise them in a toast] To Ben Franklin and the Hellfire Club!

PAUL [voiceover]: With the striking of a gong, the monks would move further into the abbey and file into the chapel. Here, it is suspected they practiced a black mass, in which a woman laid naked on the altar and the monks proceeded to drink sacrificial wine from her navel.

ERIC: We’re not doing that, are we?

PAUL: Oh no, we’re not doing that.

ERIC: Okay…

GENE: [laughs] Disappointed, Eric?

ERIC: No, I just—fuck you, man.

TOMMY: Would’ve been interesting.

PAUL [voiceover]: Now I should say, since I know you’re all wondering, it’s generally thought that the members weren’t actual Satanists, despite all these weird rituals. Some members actually found this aspect pretty boring. John Wilkes actually found the rituals so dull, that he once dressed up a baboon as a demon… bear with me… he locked it in a trunk, and he stowed it in the abbey. Then, when the members called upon Lord Satan to appear, Wilkes pulled a string to release the frightened animal. For a moment, the members stared in disbelief…

… And then they lost their minds.

[music grows chaotic as the animation shows the baboon leaping over terrified figures while screams are heard] The terrified baboon leapt onto Lord Sandwich—yes, that Lord Sandwich, the guy who invented the sandwich—causing him to allegedly shout, “Spare me, gracious devil! I never knew that you’d really come or I’d never have invoked thee!”

[cuts back to the panel, all of them laughing]

VINNIE: I love how, even among this weird society, there was that one guy who was like, “This society is dull!”

PAUL: Also, after this happened, the baboon jumped out the window, and they weren’t able to catch it.

GENE: [laughing] That’s hilarious.

ERIC: [laughs and waves] Bye, suckers!

TOMMY: Bye, Felicia!

PAUL [voiceover]: As the alcohol continued to flow, the monks and their guests might share dirty stories, or read from the era’s more popular works of pornographic literature.

PAUL: I’ve provided you all with a piece of pornography. These are all from a piece published in 1740 called, “A Dialogue Between a Married Lady and a Maid.” So without further ado, [gestures to Vinnie for him to begin] Vinnie?

[dramatic piano music plays as Vinnie starts to read, looking like he wants to laugh]

VINNIE: “There is between the thighs, just at the bottom of the belly, a piece of flesh… Underneath, hangs in a bag, or purse, two little balls, pretty hard, and the harder the better. They call them stones, and in them is contained that white thick liquor.” [he wheezes, then bursts out laughing, joined by Tommy]

GENE: “He took hold of that place which distinguishes us from men. At the same time he cried out, ‘O! I have a maid! A virgin to my share!’”

VINNIE: I love that they seemed to not know the exact words. [laughs]

PAUL: Well, it was a different time. They were more prudish, I think.

VINNIE: True. I’ve seen some stuff online that’s pretty vulgar. There’s this one person online who likes pugs that writes some naughty, naughty stuff. [looks at the camera smirking] You know who you are. I see you.

ERIC: Okay, my turn. “His member was stiff and hard as a horn. Just as he had finished…” oh God, why? “… my mother, who had heard me shriek, came into the room.”

TOMMY: “‘What a happy girl you are!’ said she. ‘Pluck off this smock, which I will keep for a relick, since it is stained with thy virgin’s blood.’”

GENE: [to Vinnie] I feel like we got the lesser of the four passages.

VINNIE: I dunno…

ERIC: You did! Mine and Tommy’s were pretty explicit. You just got a playful description of balls!

VINNIE: Hey, that’s pretty tame compared to some of the smut that’s out there today.

GENE: Fifty Shades of Grey? [Paul frowns and glares at Gene as the rest of the panel silently stares at him] … What?

PAUL: How dare you. [Tommy laughs] How dare you bring that crap into my show. [cuts back to the animations]

PAUL [voiceover]: With bellies full of drinks and minds full of smut, guests would start to pair off and retreat to any of the private cells, which were prepared and stocked with the, quote, “proper objects for lascivious activities.”

[cut back to the panel. Eric is slumped over the desk]

PAUL: [looks over in slight amusement] You okay there, Eric?

ERIC: I just… I don’t even want to know what they got up to.

VINNIE: [grinning and trying not to laugh] It seems pretty obvious to me what they got up to.

ERIC: I don’t want to—

VINNIE: [still grinning] They got some of that dirty rhythm.

GENE: [also grinning] They indulged in some sweet pain.

ERIC: Gene, no—

TOMMY: [just assume everyone is grinning widely] They went for a rocket ride.

PAUL: They rocked hard all night.

GENE: Took each other down below.

ERIC: Guys, c’mon—

VINNIE: Got some tough love.

TOMMY: Pulled the triggers of their love guns.

PAUL: Put the X in—

ERIC: STOOOP!

PAUL [voiceover]: After operating in secret for many years, the details of the Hellfire Club at Medmenham Abbey were recounted in a popular novel in 1760. It captivated the public’s imagination, to the point that tourists would line the shores to try and spot the sex monks arriving. But, not wanting to give up his elaborate sex parties, Dashwood bounced back by having an elaborate system of caves dug on his own private property a few miles away from the abbey, and it was here that the monks of the Hellfire Club continued to have their parties in total privacy. This new location, and the fact that it was gated from the public and accessible only to club members, lends further plausibility to Ben Franklin’s participation. As he once wrote in a letter, “The exquisite sense of classical design, charmingly reproduced at West Wycombe, is as evident below the earth as above it.” Author Daniel Mannix argues that Franklin’s letter must be referring to the underground caves, and also adds that, quote, “Franklin would have been shortsighted if he hadn’t joined the club. He was a diplomat trying to help his country, and the club gave him the entrée to some of the most influential men in England.”

But as the guest lists for secret societies are kind of hard to figure out, we will never know for sure if Ben Franklin really did attend the Hellfire Club. But his documented friendship with Dashwood and his time spent at the estate puts it well within the realm of possibility. And, if you’re left wondering if a sex club fits with Franklin’s moral compass, then let’s take one last look at the man’s true character with some passages from an infamous piece penned by Franklin himself titled, “Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress.” This is a letter in which Ben Franklin encourages his friend to go after older women. It was written in 1745, a copy of it sits in the Library of Congress, and it’s kind of gross.

PAUL: And here to read us the letter, through the magic of theatre… [he turns and gestures off camera] Mr. Benjamin Franklin!

[the panel applauds and whoops, then they all start laughing as Ace walks in with a chair, dressed in 1700s style clothing with a wig that is long grey hair sewn to a bald patch, but we can still clearly see his real hair underneath. A text box appears on him as he sits down between Paul and Eric:

NOT A LICENSED BEN FRANKLIN IMPERSONATOR]

ACE/BEN: Tis I, Benjamin Franklin! Who by some extraordinary means, has come to a strange future time!

VINNIE: [has a hand over his mouth while he’s laughing] This is amazing.

PAUL: So, Ben, we’ve learned a lot about you and some possible details concerning your personal life.

ACE/BEN: Okay.

PAUL: But we still have a few questions. Guys?

VINNIE: Why did you enjoy the company of older women?

ACE/BEN: [reads from his paper] “Because as they have more knowledge of the world and their minds are better stor’d with observations, their conversation is more improving, and more lastingly agreeable.” Wouldn’t you say?

VINNIE: [shrugs and nods] Yeah, I guess.

GENE: Wasn’t he like, 70 years old when he wrote this later? How is he so young right now?

ACE/BEN: “Because the sin is less—”

PAUL: No, wait—

ERIC: [bursts out laughing]

PAUL: You have to ask him. He’s—He’s an old man.

ACE/BEN: I’m old.

GENE: Ben?

ACE/BEN: Go ahead, son.

GENE: Why do you prefer the company of older women?

ACE/BEN: “Because the sin is less,” my dear boy. “The debauching a virgin may be her ruin, and make her for life unhappy.”

ERIC: Huh.

GENE: Deep.

TOMMY: Do you have any more reasons?

ACE/BEN: Uh, yeah. [takes out another sheet of paper while Tommy and Eric silently laugh] “Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that fill the muscles appears first in the highest part. The face first grows lank and wrinkled; [cut to the left side: Gene is doubled over silently laughing while Vinnie is listening thoughtfully] then the neck; then the breast and arms; the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever. So that covering all above with a basket, and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one.”

PAUL: So… you’re saying, when you put a basket over their heads…

ACE/BEN: Yeah. I don’t know. [panel bursts out laughing]

VINNIE: You don’t know?! You wrote it!

ACE/BEN: History will tell. History will tell.

PAUL: I, uh, I think history has told. Do you have any final thoughts?

VINNIE: It was a different time, maybe stuff happened that you couldn’t do nowadays.

TOMMY: He got pretty freaky.

ERIC: I mean, it would be a pretty cool movie, but I wouldn’t really want to hang out with him.

PAUL [voiceover]: Well, there you have it, people! Ben Franklin; a surprisingly multi-faceted individual. History: it’s never that boring if you know where to look. That’s been Ruining History. Thanks for learning with us!

[sky-larking]

I was tagged by @secretlibraryoj and @impossiblepluto (there were two different set of questions so I’m putting them together to make one big set of questions like some kind of super group) 

favourite colours: green and red

last song I listened to: Purple Rain by Price

favourite musicians: I honestly don’t know, it depends on what mood I’m in.  

last film I watched:  I think it might have been High School Musical 3 because I am both classy and an adult with sophisticated tastes 😜

last tv show I watched: Magnum PI

favourite original character: The Doctor from Doctor Who, Wonder Woman

sweet, spicy or savoury: Sweet

sparkling water, tea or coffee: Tea, sparkling water tastes like static electricity, yuck!

pets: None, I love animals but I couldn’t really take care of a pet because I work full time.

Name: Eleanor

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Hogwart's house: i’m pretty sure I’m a Hufflepuff

Cats or dogs: Dogs, the bigger the better

Favourite animal: Dogs, also elephants 

Current time:  15.25

Dream job: Being financially independent enough that I don’t have to work and can just do cool, interesting things all the time 

When I made my blog: 2011 - it’s 10 next year, that’s insane!

Reason for url: It’s from the quote: “ Hope is the gay skylarking pyjamas we wear over yesterday's bruises”

I’m tagging everyone who reads this, I’ve tagged you but I can’t be bothered to type out your name ���

[moononmyfloor]

Review: The Tyrant's Tomb by Rick Riordan

Thoughts on The Cover

Well, if you've seen my previous posts by now you'd know that I'm not a big fan of loud and action-packed covers. I prefer classy, if not always subtle. But you might like it! See, Reyna is owning the bigger portion of it, which is a nice change. :-)

Ok to Low Points

Halfway through the book, I was STILL unable to "get" into the story

Literally, not much was going on for 2/3 of the whole book, which is very surprising considering:

The time between the release dates of The Tyrant's Tomb and The Burning Maze is the longest as of yet. Whereas other books within a series have come out within twelve months of each other, these two books will be released within eighteen months of each other.

.....and that even the most boring books by Uncle Rick had some silver linings here and there to keep you engaged. Even The Dark Prophecy had the gang arrive and settle in Indianapolis, visit the zoo and free Griffins and REVISIT the emperor. Here? Apollo and Co. escorted Jason's hearse into Camp Jupiter in a frankly insulting manner(more about that later), Apollo got sick, we see that the noble prophecies are being tattooed on Tyson's back, Apollo and Co. went on a lil' trial quest and returned, Apollo got more sick.🤷‍♀️ I was so confused I opened the previous books to see how far those stories had progressed by midpoint.

It got slightly better later on, but it doesn't change the fact throughout the 1st half of the book I just kept on turning pages SIMPLY because I wanted it to get it on with and finish the story. Sad.

2. The so-called Tyrant

I didn't see much tyranny, like...only 3 pages were spent in the Tyrant's Tomb and his company, bad old Commodus and Caligula had more appearances than Tarquin who re-appeared in the very last chapters only to get immediately vanquished courtesy of Diana.....yeah. That's that.

3. How Jason's final voyage was depicted

Uncle Rick doesn't write emotional crying scenes well.

People talk about peeing and pop chewing gum bubbles while delivering the hearses of valued, honored characters.

And I seriously wonder in what position and condition poor Jason's body was after all the drama his coffin underwent.

And based on the spoilery lines(which sadly turned out to be not spoilers at all) we saw in the Magnus Chase series I thought we'd at least get a Percy-Annabeth cameo in this, that Jason will have more of his closest comrades mourning and sending him off. Nah. Nada. Not even a mention of Annabeth. Then why did Uncle Rick mention things like Annabeth and Percy being at California and even Magnus joining them at their time of crisis? Utter puzzlement. And we were also robbed of Nico's reaction to Jason's demise, considering how much Nico valued Jason as a brother-in-arms and a friend. Let's not even talk about Thalia. Why, Uncle Rick? :-(

Which brings us to...

4. Plot Inconsistencies

Why do I have to talk about this in each and every book? :-( Seriously, why would you write about Percy and Annabeth going to New Rome to attend college and being broken hearted over Jason DURING the period of Demigod communication malfunction, only to have us know they have YET to travel across the country and when we meet them again it would still be at New York? And now the communication is working, proving that Uncle Rick conveniently forgot about the clues he conveniently dropped.

AT LEAST I'm glad one thing is consistent in the Trials of Apollo series, that when Zeus decided they'll stop meddling too much in demigod affairs at the end of Heroes of Olympus, he meant it and now it's super duper hard to seek a god even for dire needs, no matter how wonderfully (ill)timed that decision was, costing lives of valued heroes.

5. The Haiku-titles weren't amusing at all this time.

I found one fun haiku .

O, blood moon rising

Take a rain check on doomsday

I’m stuck in traffic

6. The whole Apollo-Reyna debacle.

I would say Uncle Rick pulled a clever twist by turning fan theories on their heads here, but it too way more plot space than needed and when he got to the "Gotcha!" part, I was not feeling it. For YEARS now, we heard abut this no-mortal-no-demigod thing over and over, and fans predicted it might mean Apollo's the one for Reyna. And when it initially seemed like it was the route that Uncle Rick was indeed taking, the only thought that circulated inside my head was; "Reyna doesn't need this completely random and unwanted baggage! Give the girl a dam break!!" But then he was like; "Lol nooo. You kids are wrong", but STILL I was not happy...well, for obvious reasons.

What's the point of this whole plotline? So unnecessary. I mean, the fans always wondered WHY exactly would Reyna think she needs a partner in her life, but now I see Reyna might not have had time to contemplate her personal life logically like WE had what's with her dramatic life. Of course the shallow gods would think her heart was something to be "cured" and Reyna never stopped to think that it's quite the opposite till Apollo provided her with a breather and reason. And to answer why din't she choose to join Amazons instead of Hunters is probably that she wanted to be her own person and not be under her sis the Queen once again. She'd indeed have the freedom, calm and few friends so she wouldn't feel lonely and bored with the Hunt. She might even choose to leave Hunters after she found herself in her own time. I get it. But the way it was dragged and executed was meh.

If Uncle Rick intended this plotline of Reyna to be empowering for female readers, in my opinion it was not. Yes, even a badass girl could have weaknesses, not enough self-confidence and wobbly life choices, but Reyna took too much time with her "Eureka!" moment.

It was funny while it lasted, at least.

“Lester.” Reyna sighed. “What in Tartarus are you saying? I’m not in the mood for riddles.”

“That maybe I’m the answer,” I blurted. “To healing your heart. I could…you know, be your boyfriend. As Lester. If you wanted. You and me. You know, like…yeah.”

HAHAHAHA. That Totally came from the left field Lester, even for you.

“Your girlfriend was pregnant when you had her killed?” Reyna launched another kick at my face. I managed to dodge it, since I’d had a lot of practice cowering, but it hurt to know that this time she hadn’t been aiming at an incoming raven. Oh, no. She wanted to knock my teeth in.

“You suck,” Meg agreed.

I mean, if THIS is not the ultimate deal breaker then what is? Apollo might have changed for better by now, but it doesn't mean we can overlook what he did. I for one certainly don't need a loveline for him in this series. I'm glad Uncle Rick drew(or at least seemed to have) a clear line here.

High Points

It took half the page count even for Uncle Rick's special brand of snark to return. Nonetheless I managed to find some good ones. Which is what matters, right?

1.

“So,” I said, making a second attempt at nonchalance, “are you and Thalia, er…?”

Reyna raised an eyebrow. “Involved romantically?”

“Well, I just…I mean…Um…”

Oh, very smooth, Apollo. Have I mentioned I was once the god of poetry?

Reyna rolled her eyes. “If I had a denarius for every time I got that question…Aside from the fact that Thalia is in the Hunters, and thus sworn to celibacy…Why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance?"

Preach, sister. But then again I would have to ask did YOU have to swear to celibacy to prove your independence....which is sort of the point🙄..

2.

Even when I was a god and could speak any language I wanted, I’d never sung well in Italian. I kept mixing it up with Latin, so I came off sounding like Julius Caesar with a head cold.

LOL

3.

It was time to be helpful. I needed to be repulsive for my friends!

Which you're most of the time...the latter sentence I mean.

4. Don't we all relate? 😂

“O protector of Rome!” I read aloud. “O insert name here!”

5. And one more.

I bet Gregorix was wishing he’d pursued that business degree his mom always wanted him to get. Being a barbarian bodyguard was mentally exhausting.

.

Heartrending quotes.

1.

This was the source of all our communications troubles—one sad, angry, forgotten little god.

2. This was the wisest quote I saw in the book. The simple indescribable deepness of letting go.

“Good-bye, Apollo,” said the Sibyl’s voice, clearer now. “I forgive you. Not because you deserve it. Not for your sake at all. But because I will not go into oblivion carrying hate when I can carry love.”

Even if I could’ve spoken, I wouldn’t have known what to say. I was in shock. Her tone asked for no reply, no apology. She didn’t need or want anything from me. It was almost as if I were the one being erased.

3. I was saddened to learn about Julia's untimely loss, but I'm sure everybody had a meltdown moment at the following scene.

The old god’s face hardened a bit more, which shouldn’t have been possible for stone. “I see. Well. I’ve concentrated the last bits of my power here, around Julia. They may destroy New Rome, but they will not harm this girl!”

“Or this statue!” said Julia.

4. Honestly? I too forgot until Apollo pointed it out and then I had *shivers*! They're one immediate family, grieving over one loss that affects all of them in various ways, and having mixed reactions about each others the members who survived!

I shivered. How easy it was to forget that this young woman was also my sister. And Jason was my brother. At one time, I would have discounted that connection. They’re just demigods, I would have said. Not really family.

Overall Conclusion

This is the most bored-outta-my-mind I felt after reading a PJO universe book. Am I finally growing out of the Percy Jackson and the Heroes of Olympus fandom? Oh dear, I hope not. I can't imagine living without it and I'm SO not happy with this new development. Just as I feared, Uncle Rick couldn't keep it up after the excellent Burning Maze and now.....please, for your fans' sake who had been loyal for years, I hope at least the final book delivers. Just so we could at least part ways/go dormant with pleasant sentiments and a content heart.🙆‍♀️

[scandalesdeparis]

Bonjour, sa fait longtemps!

How is everyone’s weekend? Clementine and I are still nursing our hangovers with more champagne after a darling bellboy helped us load a crate of bubbly in our car. Everyone in Le Journal, of course, each received a bottle on their desk-- the critic included -- and as promised, we bring you stories from the wedding. 

Let me just pour myself a refill hm?

First off, congratulations to Monsieur Rousset and his beautiful bride, it’s always a win for us girls when a dancer bags a dependable man like Guillaume, so it’s no wonder that several Moulin girls took a page from Elodie Celestine’s playbook and were seen with their own potential golden ticket secured tightly in their arms. Some got it right, and others well...they surely could do better.

Like my darling Annette Micheaux who returned to us after a short-lived stint as a supposed Ziegfeld girl, she was seen swooning in the arms of former Le Journal writer Bhari Sinclair. Everyone can see just how much they adore each other and it seems nothing and no one can tear them apart... except that is, for a very insistent patron. The writer could do nothing but hand over his date to the brute with a smile on his face before making his exit.

I don’t think he ever had a chance to defend his lady’s honor but Bhari, my dear, when you get a girl from The Moulin, you have to remember: the pen is definitely not mightier than the sword.

Another Moulin girl in our radar is the infuriatingly dreamy Charlotte Leigh, who doesn’t seem to mind if she ends up in the streets. Charlotte was seen getting cozy with the disgraced Arturo de Marin and it got me wondering who paid who for the time. Say all you want about how unreliable that pianist is but that man can move, which is a relief because then he can teach the dream girl how to dance. And she’s definitely in need of a few lessons.

And don’t quote me here but I think I saw them wearing matching rings. 

Now there weren’t a lot of L’Enfer and L’Ciel girls in attendance and whether it’s because they found the event too classy for their taste or they were too busy being down on all fours, we'll never know. But the infamous La Reine de la Nuit did make an appearance who surprisingly arrived solo. Either no one was good enough or nobody wanted to touch that dancer with a ten-feet pole, but Carmen Moreno managed to hold her head high and be an independent woman until it was time to play an old game of hide-the-pickle with one Malachi Murdock. 

Not even a club ban could keep this pining, creepy, thin man away from his favorite hole.

Oops, I meant watering hole.

No one is safe, and that’s why our very own critic makes an appearance here. Gabriel de Silva may have forgone a date, but that didn’t mean he left the party alone. Maybe it was deliberate, maybe he planned to try his luck at the reception, but whatever it was that we saw, certainly made our eyebrows waggle. Now, where do we start?

From an ominous conversation with Anthony Holst to the tall drink of water that is Jean-Baptiste Sauvage tenderly caressing the critic’s hand, that’s a lot to unpack. Throw in the elegant Anais Veilleux walking out on Gabe in the middle of the dance floor, only to be seen sneaking out with him later in the evening... a lovers’ spat? Well, stick a fork in me and call me done.

My, my, Gabriel, you’ve been very busy.

But what of dear ol’ Jackie boy? Well, after looking like a very thirsty fish out of water when his date ditched him for the critic, the cinephile was seen nose to nose and doing under-the-table hand action with my favorite messy artist Anatole de Celeyran. Methinks it wasn’t losing the opera singer that got Jack Sauvage feeling blue, but what do I know?

Now, speaking of Anthony Holst, the business mogul-- and I use the term loosely -- played family man during the event, his lovely daughter was visiting in town which perhaps explains Vivienne Moreau at his side. Now being a fresh-faced, young girl like myself, their history predates me or my sister, but that doesn’t make us blind. If that isn’t the look of two people in love then I don’t know what that is. 

And it’s not like they’re waiting on anything, au contraire, they should hurry up-- time is not on their side. Maybe Sofia should stay a little longer, just in case there’s another wedding?

And finally a few surprises, like the lovely Isla Allaway-- I dare you to say that three times fast --who opted to bring a canine companion instead. That just made her the smartest woman in the room. Personally, I’m glad that she didn’t arrive with a questionable company.

There’s also big daddy Augustin Badeaux who looked so dapper as he played the role of best man. But I must say that I’m a bit disappointed that he didn’t bring his handcuffs with him, then again, I didn’t ask. Oh, the things I could do to that man.

And how can I forget Lucianna Gatti, a woman after my own heart? I wasn’t able to say hello since I was busy doing lines powdering my nose in one of the stalls, but honey you’re a spitfire. Never change. Don’t forget to visit me and Clem at Le Journal the next time you’re in town.

...And that’s about it! Now you won’t feel so left out, dear reader, and next time, do try to join in on the fun. I swear to you, it’s much better experienced first hand.

𝐵𝒾𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜

[blumguldbrandsen21-blog]

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I'm glad you guys (Alex and Seabee) think so highly of each others' opinions. I find it odd, to say the least, that having spent so much time and energy observing the avoidable absurdities of life in the UAE (ID cards, road planning etc.), you both find Hari's pieces so objectionable. For sure he has sensationalised and selectively quoted evidence to support a devastating thesis about Dubai. I too initially bridled at his Independent article. This was not my Dubai! Then I watched the sanctimonious spluttering outrage of the local commentators, who seem to reserve the right to criticise Dubai all to themselves (present company very much included). None of you addressed any of the serious contentions he made, the dark heart of contradictions that sustains this place, and the lights slowly went on for me. As expats here we have to rationalise our presence and construct a reality that allows us to comfortably pursue our lives. We don't always see things as clearly as a dispassionate external observer - we NEED Dubai to be ok, acceptable, justifiable. Denial works - but I'm in remission finally. It's clear to me now that Hari has got closer to the truth of this place than any number of colour pieces about etislat connections or snickets. And talk to people back home, wherever that may be, honestly and openly, not seeking reassurance about why you're here.

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Consultancy service is a flourishing business in this era because everyone wants to make a full proof plan for their future and do not want to commit any mistake. Career consultancy and placement consultancy are having a huge demand, in which experience & professional contacts are needed as well as maintaining relationships and communication skills are of utmost utility. The most popular business ideas for women is beauty parlor. There is no age limit for this business and investment is also very flexible as everyone can set their own budget. This business has a never ending scope for women. Every woman has the cooking skills in their blood.

However, for both newbies and professional, learning new recipes is essential. A woman with such skills and interest in cooking can regard this business. If a woman can manage good investment invested, apply marketing in the right context, and maintain customer relationship they can run a retail shop. The trending interest in women are their clothes and accessories so they can open a retail outlet of fashion & accessories. If they have big investment, then they can open a jewelry shop. Managing various activities, budget and handling whole event, such skills are present in almost every woman as they manage their own house perfectly.

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Those women having writing skills can start blogging as they are expert at it and it has a wide market (e-market). They can start blogging with any topic they want. The more visitors are there, the huge revenue one can generate from their blog. Zero investment and classy return. If you are having interest in writing, this is the perfect work to do. Contact someone who is already doing this work or search online, where to find work and what the whole process is. However, it takes some time searching clients in starting but after that it’s a piece of pie you just need to eat and enjoy. Fitness has been the crucial priority of this generation. Women can start Yoga and Zumba classes which are trending. The client base is huge, so collect as much as you can. The more facilities in your center larger is the amount of clients. It can be one of the best business ideas of women now a days.

Starting your own small business can very exciting and scary, but the risk is worth the reward. For women with children this can seem daunting because of all of the responsibilities of family and social stigmas of working mothers. Many women do not know where to start when thinking about their own home based business, which is why having 3 practical small business ideas for women, is necessary. Anything can be a business, but you shouldn't just do anything. You should do what matters to you, what you care about. The 3 small business ideas for women can be broken down into continuing your career, finding a new career, and how to discover how to start a business and business ideas using the internet.

You may have been thinking about getting back into your career, but you know you don't have the time to go to work while raising your small kids. Here is where small business ideas come into play, especially those geared towards women. The internet is a wonderful place where you can find all kinds of opportunities related to your career niche. It's important that you fully check out all of the available options you truly have. Career trailblazing. Some women want a new career, something fresh and exciting. A few may know what it is, but some do not. The great thing about the internet today is the amazing amount of information that is readily available. It's as easy as taking a few business ideas you have and researching them online. You can find all sorts of opportunities to start your own business, as well as find others who are doing the same thing. How to find what you need.

Airports aren't really known for their "fun" factor especially during holiday travel. As Matt and I prepare for the 14 hour trek home for Christmas I'm already mentally preparing myself for the minefield that is the holiday flight to JFK. However, it turns out there are a few ways to make people smile in airports: upgrade them to business class, a sale at duty free, tell them the plane will be arriving early, and a flash mob! Terminal 1 played host to an energetic group of Fly Dubai air hostesses, Duty Free staff, passerbyers, and a few crazy kids who joined forces to bring us our very own flash mob in the Dubai (DXB) Airport. If you are looking for some fun and to put a smile on your face I highly recommend the below five minutes! The other great observation is the mix of people not only participating but watching the mob. Heck, if this happened at Christmas I might be willing to miss my flight - who am I kidding I would have joined in!

It's always someone else's fault isn't it. How can we stand by and allow this to go on? They wrote the names of the dead children on their plastic shrouds. Israel claimed that missiles had been fired by Hizbollah gunmen from the south Lebanese town of Qana ­ as if that justified this massacre. That culture has crept into adult public life, so now we have our politicians routinely refusing to take responsibility for their actions. This is just another example. Please also read Babykaos' beautifully written item 'Baby's Black Balloon'. Far too late Dr Rice. THE 19-day-old war in the Middle East has reached a turning point, with Israel's deadliest attack yet killing 54 people in southern Lebanon and the United States declaring it is time for a ceasefire.

Images of dead children - 37 children, police said - being dragged from the building in Qana, southern Lebanon provoked international condemnation and shattered the ceasefire talks. Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, vowed the offensive in Lebanon would continue. In Singapore last week we had plenty of excellent food, fresh ingredients cooked in open kitchens where we could see it all. Of all the horrific photos coming out of Lebanon/Israel/Gaza this is the one that disturbed me the most. I draw no distinction between nationalities. Whether these schoolgirls were Israeli or Palestinian or anything else I would be appalled. To teach such hatred, such disregard for human life, to children is a despicable, disgusting, irresponsible, inhuman act.

These shells are going to kill or maim other people, quite possibly other children. Teaching children to gloat over that is a crime against humanity. I'm naive I know, but I believe that all countries and people have the right to defend themselves. However, in the current climate pre-emptive strikes and defending yourself is the right of a very small select club. Non-members are terrorists if they dare to even think about it. I hope all members in Haifa are safe. Well I hope that too, but Haifa only? No thought for Forum members from Lebanon. Not surprisingly, given the way the news is managed and presented in the Land Of The Free, the poster is American. No thought for the people in Lebanon so here are photos from today's Gulf News.

They're people too, just like the rest of us. Oh COME ON it's illegal! One day after promising to return them, the management of Skycom, a call centre in Dubai Internet City, is continuing to illegally hold its employees’ passports. In a meeting between the staff and the management on Saturday, the company agreed to return all the passports it was holding but employees told 7DAYS yesterday that Skycom has failed to do so. Rashad Akbar, global operations manager of Skycom, told 7DAYS yesterday that he would only return passports of workers who were leaving the company. “We will send them back and return their passports at the airport,” he said, refusing to comment on the rest of his employees.

I simply don't understand. Holding employees' passports is illegal under UAE law. Why is no action being taken against this company? And others who also routinely break the law? What is the point of passing laws if you're not going to enforce them. Each time I come into Dubai Airport I swear the hike from the aircraft to the taxi stand takes almost as long as the flight. Is there another airport with such huge distances to walk? Eventually I do come to the end of it all and then into the e-gate machine. What a great time-saving invention that is, full marks for that. On to the taxi stand and, for the second consecutive time, a female taxi driver.

Smart & clean in her uniform, polite, drove all the way down Sheikh Zayed Road to Dubai Marina below the speed limit and correctly using the indicators. I'll repeat that - below the speed limit and correctly using the indicators. A male taxi driver who overtook us seemed to find a female driver a novelty. He glanced into our cab as he screamed passed, dropped back then pulled alongside gabbling at his three European passengers while pointing at our driveress. Stayed alongside for about a kilometre, eventually got bored so did the big macho number and hit the accelerator hard. Singapore daytime was 31C and 'orribly 'umid - Dubai was the same at 3am. I actually found the humidity there much more oppressive, but I sure didn't miss the dust that swamped us as we drove through 'New Dubai'. I agree with Gulf News!

[sylyaquotes]

40 classy woman quotes for a strong lady with images

40 classy woman quotes for a strong lady with images

40 Classy woman quotes for a strong woman with images Are you searching for classy woman quotes? We’ve gathered the most popular Classy Women Quotes and Captions (with pictures and photos) to show attitude, love, ambition, man, fashion, and health. Classy women are independent, stylish, and elegant. They also can be graceful, elegant, respectable, and admirably smart. These classy and perfect…

[isalicious91]

Uum yeah 👑 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #knowyourworth #queen #classy #independent #woman #confidence #quote #meme #selflove #like4like #likeforlike #like #instalike #girl #instamood #selfconfidence #happy #blessed #mood #real #true #quotes #quoteoftheday (at Slottsplassen)

[dayasinspiration]

Step three - Describing my personal style

My personal style. I definitely would say I have a bit of an old soul. How? Well I am attracted to the little things in life, a cup of coffee and a well written book. And in my style I think you can see that sort of spirit reflected in it. I like keeping things simple, that meaning not drawing too much attention to myself at first glance, but then having a little detail for the people that look deeper. Maybe a print or quote on a certain piece, or small jewelry. Of course, despite having an old soul I am a young woman living in 2019. Therefore, I want to reflect what being an independent woman is like in this day and age. So pass me a string of pearls and let my eyeliner be sharp, because I want to be classy and modern at the same time. Through my style I want to show what it’s like being a woman, feminine with the mystique of old but not forgetting the fierceness of now.  

[funface2]

10 Quotes From I Love Lucy That Are Still Hilarious Today – Screen Rant

Hands down the most influential sitcoms in history is I Love Lucy. Appearing on CBS, I Love Lucy ran for six seasons, had 180 episodes, won five Emmy Awards, and was the first of its kind to be done in front of a live audience.

The real stars of the show were Lucielle Ball (Lucy), her real-life husband Desi Arnaz (Ricky Ricardo), and their two best friends and neighbors Vivan Vance (Ethel) and William Frawley (Fred). With Lucy and Ricky as the focus, the foursome lived in New York City where Ricky was an entertainer. Wanting to be famous herself, Lucy tried her darndest to be apart of her husband’s acts and usually conspired tricks with her BFF Ethel in order to do so. What transpired was fantastic TV in the ’50s and even today in 2019.

RELATED: 10 Sue Sylvester Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today

I Love Lucy still has reruns on TV today and even has DVDs of the show for sale in color. Today we’re taking a look at some of the funniest lines that came from I Love Lucy, along with some behind-the-scenes tidbits about the show.

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10 ‘SURE, SAYS RIGHT HERE ‘WE WORK MIRACLES”

After being snubbed by Ricky and Fred for attending a classy party, Ethel and Lucy are sick and tired of being left out. The pair learn about Phoebe Emerson’s Charm School and decide if they should enroll. Lucy, of course, agreed with Ethel that the charm school could work miracles but came off offensive after realizing how much work Ethel would need.

RELATED: 10 Most Hilarious Moms In Sitcom History

The girls spent all week trying to become classier versions of themselves and in the end, their men thought their look was horrendous. In return, the guys also changed their appearance, which then led to the four of them calling it a tie. It’s a classic I Love Lucy game of “who wore it better?”.

9 ‘ETHEL AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU HAVE MARRIED US AND NOT A TELEVISION SET’

Ethel and Fred may have been older than Lucy and Ricky but the foursome got along swimmingly. While the men were attached to their spankin’ new TV set, the girls were anything but impressed — telling them they were spending too much time in front of the TV.

In real life, Vivian Vance (Ethel) wasn’t actually married to William Frawley (Fred) like Lucy was to Desi. Vivian was actually married four times while William was only married once. And as beautiful and loving as Lucy and Desi appeared on TV, they too got divorced after they were done filming.

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8 ‘I WAS GOING TO BUT THEN I ASKED MYSELF ‘WHY?”

When watching reruns of I Love Lucy, you’ll notice that Lucy and Ricky sleep in two different beds. This was because America was still pretty tame and shy and didn’t think it would be virtuous to show a married couple hopping into bed together in front of a live audience.

RELATED: 10 Sitcoms From Before 1970 That Still Hold Up

In the scene above, Ricky walks in on Lucy still laying in bed. “I thought you were going to get up?” Ricky says to his sleepy wife. “I was going to but then I asked myself ‘why?'” she said sheepishly. Although TV has changed in terms of what we’re “allowed” to see, our love for sleep sure hasn’t.

7 ‘I CAN’T HELP IT, EATING IS MY HOBBY’

In the first season, we’re introduced to an episode called “The Diet.” The audience learns that the fab foursome has gained a little bit of weight in recent months and promise to do better. Ethel famously says “I can’t help it, eating is my hobby” and she’s never been more relatable. Ricky even promises Lucy that she can be an act in his show if she promises to lose 12 pounds. By the end of the episode, Lucy practically staves herself for five days so she can look her best in Ricky’s show. She actually did a great job and made Ricky proud… that is until she fainted after the show, was carried away to the hospital for being dehydrated, and they realized she tied up a woman in the closet who was supposed to be the main act!

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6 ‘EVER SINCE WE SAID ‘I DO’ THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WE DONT’

Is there anything more frustrating than being in a relationship that restricts you from doing the things you really want to do? We find Lucy and Ethel in this predicament quite a few times in her marriage. In the episode “The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub,” we find out it’s Ethel and Fred’s anniversary.

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While the boys wanted to go see the big fight, the girls wanted to be wined and dined at a nightclub. Deciding to go their separate ways, the guys get dates (through Ricky’s agency) to keep an eye on Lucy and Ethel. After finding out their men grabbed dates, Lucy makes a deal with the agency to make their dates be them. What transpired was Lucy and Ethel pretending to be someone they weren’t just to stick it back to them. This blows up in their face, though, because Ricky and Fred knew it was them all along and they all ended up going to the fights anyway.

5 ‘I DON’T KNOW BUT HOW DARE YOU!’

One of the most unique parts of I Love Lucy is that Lucy married a Cuban. At the time Lucy and Desi pitched the show, CBS wasn’t sure America would buy the fact that these two were actually together in real life. Their love was for real, though, and it paid big time in the show. Some of the best parts in the show is when Ricky is rattling things off in Spanish, leaving Lucy confused and annoyed that he was *probably* talking about her in a different language. In one scene, Ricky is rattling off a few words in Spanish when Lucy says “How dare you!” Knowing she has no clue what he said, he asks her anyway and she says “I don’t know, but how dare you!”

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4 ‘HERE I AM WITH ALL THIS TALENT BOTTLED UP INSIDE OF ME AND YOU’RE ALWAYS SITTING ON THE CORK’

In the episode “The Ballet,” Lucy finds out Ricky is in desperate need of a ballerina for his show. Always up for stardom, Lucy begins taking ballet lessons to be his perfect girl. She does get the chance to perform but let’s just say her routine didn’t match up with Ricky’s.

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You may notice while watching this episode that Lucy actually does have bruises all over her body and those were real — caused by *drum roll, please*: training for ballet!

3 ‘THAT WON’T BE A NOVEL, THAT WILL BE A SHORT STORY’

Lucy decides she wants to write a novel called Real Gone With the Wind. Ethel asks her, “What are you writing about?”. “I’m writing about things I know,” Lucy retorts back. Giving her honest, best friend sense of humor, Ethel tells her “That won’t be a novel, that will be a short story.” This classic pairing had all the makings of a BFF movie where they go on the run because they don’t need a man. If only that didn’t scar America back in the ’50s!

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2 ‘GEE, WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTHING THAT’S WONDERFUL COSTS MONEY?’

Ethel isn’t wrong. The best things in life aren’t always free and it’s comical to bring up. Outside of filming, though, this foursome didn’t need to worry much about money. Lucy and Desi were given $2,000 an episode in the beginning. As time went on, they made six-figures per episode, which was unheard of in Old Hollywood for a sitcom.

1 ‘YOU MEAN TO TELL US THAT WE HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS, BUT YOU CERTAINLY DON’T GIVE US A CHANCE TO ACT LIKE IT’

Is there a line that’s more fitting for 2019 than this? In the year of the woman, equality and feminism are on the brain for many North Americans. And although Ethel said this to Fred in jest, it certainly garners some truth. As forthcoming, independent women ahead of their time, something tells us Lucy and Ethel would be proud of women in this day and age.

NEXT: 10 Actors In The Cast Of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Ranked

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Bài viết 10 Quotes From I Love Lucy That Are Still Hilarious Today – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

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