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hamliet · 5 months ago

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Derry Girls: A Masterclass in Detailed, Thematic Writing

Several years after the end, I finally watched Derry Girls, and it's become one of my favorite shows. Not only for the way it captures the absolutely unhinged aspects of Irish families (askmehowiknow) but for the sheer writing skill.

The vast majority of the episodes are laugh-out-loud hilarious, while also offering insightful commentary on the Troubles and on humanity's foibles as a whole. The characters are allowed to be human and act in unlikable, unsanitized ways, and to still be human and come back from that. (Almost like a metaphor for the Troubles or something.)

The story is also incredibly detailed; for example, when the girls are accused of killing a nun and Erin points out the nun was like, 98 years old and askes "might that shed some light on the situation?" there's an hourglass behind Sister Michael--emphasizing the idea that her time was up. Even more than that... the window is behind the hourglass, literally shining a light on it.

But that's a micro level. On a macro level, I also appreciated the way the story discusses the political backdrop that is part of its premise. Even as Erin, Michelle, James, Clare, and Orla grow up in a place that's been in a state of low-level warfare for decades, they live full lives. In fact, that's kinda the point.

Case in point: episode 4 of the first season, wherein Erin gets an exchange student from Chernobyl. The way the Northern Irish in general treat the Ukrainians is hilariously awful and patronizing, believing that they are giving them a respite from the troubles "over there" while Northern Ireland isn't in a much better state. But, as Sister Michael assures the Ukrainian students, the Irish troubles don't matter because "we're the goodies."

This line gets to the heart of what the episode is saying about political divisions and the way people view an "other." Everyone sees themselves as the "goodies." Because of that, they don't self-examine and wind up hurting the people they see themselves as wanting to help/save with their ignorance. It's a paradoxical egotistical (and frankly teenage) worldview that is also unwilling to look critically at oneself. The focus on their own perceptions over focusing on the actual humanity of the other results in ruining gifts that could come with cross-culture interaction, as seen in how Erin's misunderstandings and petty jealousy of Katya leads to her literally ruining a surprise gift Katya had prepared.

And the end of the episode also comments thematically on the story. One of the Ukrainian boys turns out not to be Ukrainian after all--he's actually Irish and from just down the road. He just didn't know how to say that. The ironic message is clear: despite differences in culture and views, they are actually all human beings, and assumptions make it hard for people to speak. If they could actually talk openly and without presumptions about who is "good" and who is "bad," they could prevent and solve a lot of problems.

This kind of background, symbolic commentary on the Troubles continues in just about every episode of the series. For example, even after the ceasefire, season 3 has an episode where it's discussed how negotiations are stalling, and the entirely of the rest of the episode takes place on a train that stalls between two separate places.

The Troubles are always something affecting their lives, but the only time the Troubles ever become the main story is in the finale episode. Which is also an episode that makes everyone cry. Michelle's brother is finally mentioned for the first time the entire series, yet it doesn't feel like a retcon so much as a recontextualization, and again mirrors how a lot of society (and Michelle's own family) have treated those who murdered others during the conflict.

Erin and James' relationship also works as a metaphor for the Troubles--an Irish Catholic girl and an English boy. Earlier in season 3, after they finally kiss, they're told they can't be together, that it's wrong, and that it'll create problems for everyone around them. Michelle doesn't want things to change. And Erin agrees that it's not good to pursue something.

But, in the final scenes, as Erin prepares to vote in the Good Friday Agreement and talks to James, she directly states she thinks things can't stay the same forever--thereby countering what she said to reject James earlier:

There's a part of me that wishes everything could just stay the same. That we could all just stay like this forever. There's a part of me that doesn't really want to grow up. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I'm not sure I'm ready for the world. But things can't stay the same, and they shouldn't. No matter how scary it is, we have to move on, and we have to grow up, because things... well, they might just change for the better. So we have to be brave. And if our dreams get broken along the way... we have to make new ones from the pieces.

Symbolically, also, given that we know the outcome of the Good Friday Agreement, I think it's pretty clear Erin and James end up together even if we're not directly shown it.

That the last shot of the episode (besides the funny epilogue) is Grandda Joe, one of the eldest characters, helping his youngest toddler granddaughter Anna leap over a threshold as they leave the voting station, is also incredibly clear in its symbolism.

Erin: People died. Innocent people died, Grandda. They were someone's mother, father, daughter, son. Nothing can ever make that okay. And the people who took those lives, they're just gonna walk free? What if we do it, and it's all for nothing? What if we vote yes and it doesn't even work? Grandda Joe: And what if it does? What if no one else has to die? What if this all becomes a--a ghost story you'll tell your wee-un's some day? A ghost story they'll hardly believe?

I dunno, I think this is a sentiment we need more of in the world. A peaceful future means taking risks and accepting that punitive justice will not be perfectly doled out; however, if you allow more people to be hurt, is that not also injustice? It's a paradox that the story leaves us without a dogmatic answer to (for example, we never find out if Michelle's brother gets released), but it's also hopeful--because we know that the Good Friday Agreement largely worked.

(For further analysis of the final scene, I recommend PillarofGarbage's analysis on YouTube!)

#hamliet reviews #derry girls #erin quinn #michelle mallon #sister michael #james maguire #orla mccool #clare devlin

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ienjoywritingfilth · 29 days ago

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a sinner i am part iii

trope: Boyfriend's DadPP character: Joel Miller x f reader / Shawn Miller x f reader chapter summary: A family ATV trips proves to be insightful when you get paired up with Joel.

series masterlist

sorry i was gone its been a long few months but i have an update so i hope you stick around and reblog and review and all that good shit. - IEWF

warning: 10/10 on the sexual tension scale, fantasy cumming, lotsa guilt, public cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E

part iii : hit the road

My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you. — Cassandra Clare

It's early and the sun is bleeding into your room. Shawn is on his belly with one arm slung over the pinch of your waist. He's snoring quietly. You watch him for a moment, stroking a hand over his cheek lightly.

The guilt is there, as it has been since that first night. But as with all things, the longer you live with it, the less power it seems to hold. You can't get back to sleep. It's that awkward time between morning and night where the sky is slowly brightening but everything is dewy and cold. Maybe you'll just get a glass of water. That might help.

You walk into the kitchen, blinking at the light over the stove. You suppress a gasp when you realize Joel is there with his shoulders tensed and looking inside the fridge for a snack. He faces away from you in a well-worn cotton t-shirt and boxers that mould to his tight ass. His dark hair is mussed from sleep and you feel your pussy pound.

He hears your footsteps and turns to look over his shoulder. He feels his tummy tighten when he sees you sleepy and sweet looking.

"Just needed a water," you tell him.

He watches you nibble your lower lip."Lemme get it for you." He moves towards the sink.

"No it's fine.” You want to get away from him quickly. You take one of the glasses from earlier, holding it under the tap opposite you on the island.

Joel watches you clumsily attempt to twist the knob and he gives a huff of amusement. He walks over, grabbing a glass from the cupboard above. When he does you see a sliver of his tanned belly exposed.

"Give it here," he says in a voice husky with sleep. He holds out his hand and you give him your glass. "Here," he says handing over the full glass to you. He drinks his own, suddenly thirsty. He watches you sip yours and doesn't overlook the pink to your cheeks.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No. You?"

"Got hungry," he laughs quietly, not wanting to wake Shawn. "On vacation calories don't count right?"

You give him a crooked smile at the lame joke. A sense of familiarity is there in the kitchen now. The realization that things can go back to normal. You across the island to him with one hand resting on the cool granite.

"I sure hope not. I really want to demolish the buffet tomorrow."

Joel smiles and the sight makes you go to say something else funny, motioning with your water glass and splashing it over your chest in the process. At the feeling of the chilled water down your shirt you suddenly drop the glass. You watch it slip from your fingers, smashing onto the countertop and splitting into several shards.

"Fuck," you whisper. Water splashes down your front, making the already thin fabric go sheer.

Your nipples pinch and pucker, completely exposed by the water that's slipped down your shirt. You realize it when Joel's eyes go wide, watching your heaving chest. He grips his own glass so tightly his knuckles go pale.

"You should go back to bed."

Something in his voice feels dangerous. Like if you don't leave now there's bound to be terrible trouble.

"But the glass----"

"I'll take care of it."

You nod, wrapping your hands over your chest and scrambling back to bed. Joel watches you go feeling his pulsing cock ache as you leave. Your tits are fucking perfect. He could see them plain as day through the sheer fabric. It's almost like you wanted him to see them.

Tess is an incredibly beautiful woman, that's the first thing you notice when she walks into the unit. She's svelte, graceful when she walks and when she smiles and introduces herself you see her teeth are perfect.

'I've heard so much about you from Joel and Shawn," Tess grins.

"Same here," you lie.

The group decides to have breakfast together in the dining room at the resort, Shawn laces his fingers with yours, chatting to you as you all walk over. You nod, barely listening. You're too focused on Joel and Tess walking in front of you.

You watch Joel's arm go around her waist, grinning at her proudly as she says something to make him laugh. He wants to show her off. Why does that upset you so much? The four of you find an empty table decorated with soft linens and beautiful Hawaiian flowers. When the food arrives Joel and Shawn are chatting about ATVing and Tess has turned her attention to you.

"Your parents were fine with you coming to Hawaii for Christmas?"

"Yeah, they know how much I want to travel."

"Do you not travel much?"

You don't miss the way Joel's eyes dart from you to Tess, half listening to what you're saying as Shawn talks his ear off.

"Naw, I didn't grow up with money," you say shrugging. "This trip is actually the first time I've ever been on a plane."

"That's why I'm always telling Ellie to get out and explore the world," Tess says sipping her coffee. "But she's such a homebody."

"Ellie?"

"My daughter. She's about your age," Tess says pointing at you, "she works as an art teacher."

"She didn't want to come with you for the week?"

"Nah, she's celebrating Christmas with her girlfriend's family. She asked me and I couldn't say no," she looks a little sad. "I think that's why Joel invited me along to this, he knew I'd be lonely."

"I invited you cause I wanted you here," Joel corrects. "And Ellie's welcome to join us later if she changes her mind. Her and her girlfriend."

"Thanks, Texas," Tess says. The two of them share a secret smile and you try to focus your breathing.

"You were okay with your daughter being. . . You know?" Shawn asks, his eyes wide.

Sometimes you forget that Shawn doesn't have much experience outside his own limited friend group that he's had since middle school. Meatheads who love football and camping trips, who drool over the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders and smash beer cans when they finish them at parties. Thankfully Tess doesn't look offended.

"I'm just happy she's happy."

Shawn falls silent, looking at his plate. It's like he just realized the inappropriateness of his question. You look over at Joel, curious to find him already looking at you over his coffee cup. When he catches your eyes he quickly darts his away.

"So I hear we're ATVing, today," Tess says after a beat.

"Thought you'd like that darlin'," Joel says with his arm on the back of her chair. "I know how much you liked it during that conference in Utah."

"Good memory," Tess says with a sweet smirk.

"Lotsa good memories on that trip," Joel adds quietly with a wink.

"I'll say."

You hold your breath when Tess moves her face to Joel, kissing him. His eyes fall closed as he returns the kiss. Your eyes fly to your plate, feeling your heart beat furiously. On the walk back to the rooms Shawn pulls you into his arms, kissing your neck as you shriek laugh, your legs flying around as you grip his neck.

"I'm so excited to be here with you."

You feel like the luckiest girl in the world right at that moment. You press a kiss to his lips.

"Same here."

Joel catches sight of you laughing as Shawn twirls you around. You grip onto him and Joel feels his chest tighten when he sees the curve of your ass poking out the bottom of your shorts. Fuck it looks good. The kind of ass he wants to sink his teeth into. The kind he wants to fuck. Would you let him?

"You okay, Texas?"

Joel looks over at Tess under his arm, seeing her smirking at him.

"Hard to watch your kids grow up."

"Yeah." Joel can only watch from behind his sunglasses as his son twirls you along the sand. "It's real hard."

It feels like a delicate dance of avoidance and embarrassment. Thankfully now Tess and Shawn are both there meaning you and Joel barely have to interact. At the Jurassic Ranch Joel goes to pay for everyone, indicating the different tracks. Tess leans comfortably against him pointing at a bumpy looking three hour trail.

"I wanna do the Volcano Ridge."

"Me too," Shawn nods excitedly from beside you. "That's the one I had circled."

You roll your eyes to yourself. Shawn didn't even ask you what you wanted to do. You would have told him that lava fields didn't interest you.

"Shawn maybe we could do the shoreline one?" You murmur, pointing at the hour long tail through bucolic grassland along the water. Joel winces, looking at the brochure Tess has handed him, seeing the terrain. His back is already aching and this looks like torture.

"I don't think my back's up for that, baby."

Tess looks disappointed and he feels bad. He doesn't like to say no to the women he cares about.

"I'll take her," Shawn offers. He points at you. "My girl wants an easier ride anyway dad so that actually works out perfect. She can go with you."

You and Joel cast stricken looks at one another but Tess is already nodding, grinning over at Joel.

"Whadda ya say, Texas?"

Joel smiles that familiar confident way of his. The smile he reserves for shareholders and annoying staff. One he's never had to use with family until now.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Minutes later Shawn and Tess take off in their ATV with a wave and a cheerful see ya as you and Joel sit awkwardly next to one another in your own ATV.

Joel's fingers tighten around the wheel as he looks at you fighting to keep his smile calm.

"Ready?"

You nod a little nervously. Even though you've both talked things out there's a lingering tension between the two of you. It was there at breakfast as you both kept your eyes on your plates or partners. It was there as Joel brushed by you when he went to pay for everyone at the ATV hut. And it's here now as you squash together in the ATV, elbows grazing as you both buckle in. The helmets are embarrassing but at least they distract from your blushing cheeks.

Joel is a good driver, the lesson is brief before he's flooring it and the vehicle goes careening off towards the lush greenery.

Your tits jump as Joel barrels over the hill. He pretends not to notice, but he can feel himself thickening under his shorts. You're obviously braless. Did you do that on purpose just to tease him?

"Hold on," he tells you as the vehicle splashes through a puddle, sending sprays of water over your faces.

You give a shriek, laughing as both of your shirts are soaked.

Joel sees from the corner of his eyes how your nipples tighten, poking through your thin shirt, just like the other night. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from getting harder. You feel insecure when you notice your breasts bouncing under your soaked shirt. You'd thought going braless would be a fun thing for you and Shawn. You didn't know you'd be with his dad. You cross your arms over your chest. Eventually after driving in silence you spot a gorgeous lookout as you approach the bend. You jerk up in your seat, eyes wide.

"Oh wait, can we stop? Can you go around there?"

Joel grunts the affirmative before pulling off to the side of the deserted stretch of land, hidden in the trees.

"Thank you," you tell him politely as the engine is cut. Calming silence greets you both. You both remove your helmets, letting them fall into the back.

Hawaii is always beautiful but something fragrant is in the air today and the ocean is misting over your cheeks.

"It's really pretty out here," you sigh, gazing at the landscape in front of you. "So relaxing."

"Yeah, it is," Joel agrees. "Sometimes I forget there's a world outside of the office."

"Really?"

Joel nods, shifting in his seat to face you. He watches your face curve back to the water and he lets his eyes wander down your body. He sees the buds of your nipples are still hard and he exhales slowly.

"I wanna get a photo," you tell him.

You want a photo to commemorate this moment. Even if Shawn is annoying you, even if Joel is making you feel weird. You take off your belt and turn in your seat to take a photo with your phone and Joel has to force himself to look away because your shorts have ridden up in the process.

He hears the snap on your phone, eyes flying back when you shift to get another angle and those shorts ride higher. You're tilting out of the side of the ATV and in true concern his large hand goes to grip your knee, holding you in place.

"Careful," Joel murmurs.

You immediately go stiff at the contact. Perhaps if nothing had ever happened between the two of you it would have felt like the instinctual actions of a parent. But after the other night it feels much heavier.

Your eyes are on his large hand still gripping your knee, noticing how warm it is. You can't stop watching as his grip loosens, waiting for you to pull back.

"I-I am going to go take a photo of the mountains," you squeak. You push open the door, fleeing from him. "Um I'll be right back."

"Good. Good idea, I'll just uh be here."

Joel cringes at how pathetic he sounds. You practically skip away from the ATV and he sinks down in the seat, humiliated because he's now hard. Hard for his son's girlfriend.

He closes his eyes, rubbing at his temples. He can't understand what's happening to him right now. Tess is here, he shouldn't still be feeling fucked up over you. He made sure not to touch himself after he saw your wet breasts and he made sure to turn all his attention to Tess. So why is he still thinking about you?

"Ready to go."

You pull yourself back into the vehicle, your breathing tight and shallow. You look a little more at ease, tilting the phone to show him your photo of the ocean.

"That's real nice," he affords you barely looking at the screen. You grin over at him and Joel notices the way his heart trips all over itself.

"Okay, let's go," Joel says and instinctively his hand goes to pat your thigh, a sweet display of comfort. But he can't find it in himself to pull away. Joel can't stop touching you. You're so warm and soft and smooth and above all you're so forbidden.

You both stare at his hand laying heavily there on your thigh. Both sets of eyes following as it slides slowly up your smooth flesh until his pinky slips under the hem of your jean shorts, gently rubbing back and forth.

"What are you doing?"

"Dunno," Joel replies as if in a daze.

His finger slowly begins to slide up further beneath the denim material, brushing against the crease of your thigh. You shiver. He's so close to where you ache and where your panties dampen.

Your legs part as his fingers inch closer to your slit while your pussy pulses with its own heartbeat. Joel is silent, simply watching as his fingers slide beneath your shorts, his breath labored when his forefinger grazes the side of your labia. You twitch away from him as the reality of what's happening hits you.

"No."

He started it and you're clearly finishing it. This isn't something that can happen. You can't come back from this. Joel Miller isn't used to being told no. He's got a successful company, he's never had issues finding women to fuck and he knows he's got the confidence of a man that closes deals. His fingers move to drag over your center, feeling the damp cotton sticking to your lips as he lightly traces the seam of your cunt.

"Feels like you want this."

"I---I don't."

He withdraws his hand from under the hem of your jean shorts and you visibly relax, even though there's a part of you that knows how wrong it would have been to continue. But then he tugs at the waist of your shorts and he can feel your inhibitions loosening.

"Get in my lap."

The order is low and gravelly. You gaze into his face and you see the blown out pupils and his wetted lips. Your eyes stay on his plump lips. You allow him to pull you into his lap with your legs straddling him and you can feel your body giving in even as your voice goes plaintive.

"We can't do this."

"Already doin' it," he murmurs with his eyes stuck on where he nudges against you. You're warm through the fabric of his shorts.

You groan to yourself half aroused-half defeated as you grind your pussy against the hard cock of your boyfriend's father.

"Nothing wrong," Joel groans, curving his hips to bump against yours. "We're not even touchin' each other."

He knows you could point out that while your hands are being kept to yourselves, your clothed genitals are getting more than a little friendly. But he can tell you want to believe it. There's nothing wrong here.

"Just a little friction," you offer in a breathy voice and he watches the way you start to give in.

"That's it," Joel hisses. "Just a little friction. And it feels good, don't it?"

"Yeah," you nod, your crotch pressing harder against his. "Really good."

"Let's just keep goin' for a bit," Joel says, tilting back in his seat. "Nothin' wrong with that."

Nothing is wrong about what you're doing together. He says it and he thinks you believe it until his meaty paws come to grab your ass pressing you harder onto his length.

"No touching," you remind him, bouncing lightly as you both chase your high. It feels so close, so in reach.

"Over the clothes is okay," Joel insists, his cock leaking into his boxers. "You just keep going, baby girl."

"S'bad, Joel," you slur.

"I know, honey," Joel drawls syrupy sweet. "But doesn't it make you feel good bein' a little bad?"

His hands move to your breasts, cupping them through the fabric as he worries the nipples. They're just as soft and perky as he imagined they would be.

You give a whine of protestation even as you bump against him. Joel can't stop imagining what your tits look like. He knows they're full and perfect like this and before he can stop himself he's tugging your shirt down, exposing them.You go to stop, to cover your chest in embarrassment but Joel grips both your wrists in his hands, holding them on either side of your hips. You sit there, tits out and nipples hard. You breathe heavily, staring down at him.

"Joel---"

"Just lookin'," he insists while his voice drops another register, his hips shifting you up and down. "Not touchin'."

"Shouldn't be looking," you insist even as your pussy grinds harder against his throbbing cock.

"You want me to look, you wanted me to see ‘em last night," Joel grunts, his knees starting to urge you up and down on his lap. "Bounce 'em for me."

You begin to bounce in his lap, your tits jiggling sinfully for him. "Yea yea just like that," Joel groans hungrily. His breathing is getting real tight. "Oh fuck, baby girl, just like that."

True to his word he doesn't touch your breasts, but he does watch them bounce as you grind your pussy against his length. But Joel's mind is an ongoing stream of doubts and desires.

This is bad this is so fucking bad she's your son's girlfriend she's half your age look at her fucking body fuck she's so goddam good shouldn't be touching her think of Tess how good she is to you shouldn't be getting hard for this girl shouldn't wanna cum inside her

His eyes move only when you cry out, and he sees the way your eyes roll back. Your hips roll as you begin to cum, your body so fucking delicious as you give yourself over to the sinful sensation of cumming on your boyfriend's father.

"Cum hard for me."

You whine, brows coming to meet as your neck is thrown back, your breasts bouncing gently as you complete.

"Fuck fuck," Joel gasps out, rutting against you, his eyes shut as you throw your head back, riding your orgasm.

"This is so wrong," you cry out but for some reason that makes it feel so much better for him.

Moments pass before the two of you steady your breathing. You look at him under heavy lids, your body sagging forward. Joel licks his dried lips, eyes roving your body. Possessiveness weaves itself through his body.

"My son ever make you cum without touchin' you?"

“I’m back!”

Joel jerks awake when he hears the sound of the ATV door slam. He blinks awake to see you smiling and crawling in next to him. He blinks away the sleep from his eyes to realize it was a dream.

"Sorry I was gone for so long," you say watching him sleepily look at you as you settle next to him.

"That's'okay," he replies groggily.

He doesn't notice that you scan his crotch as you pull on your seatbelt or that your eyes go round and owlish when you are that Joel's hard and thick beneath his shorts. And he's fucking huge.

You want him in your mouth. You want the salty tang of his pre-cum on your tongue. You want your lips straining to take his thick cock. Then you feel shame go through your body. This is Shawns dad. What the fuck is going on in your head? You're completely disgusting.

Joel starts the ATV up and the sound of the engine thankfully kills the stunned silence.Joel swallows and looks at you from the corner of his eyes. You look chagrined staring straight ahead of you and he doesn't understand what he did wrong.

Joel feels like he's going to be sick as the dream comes back to him in waves. Your body and tits bouncing, your need for him so obvious. When Joel glances down and sees that he's hard he can barely keep the red from his face. He tries to maneuver his hips so that his cock isn't visible through his shorts.

The two of you are completely mute the entire way back to the rental garage with the knowledge that things have irreparably changed.

#pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #joel miller #smut #joel miller x original character #joel x reader #au joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel x oc #dad joel miller #boyfriends dad joel miller

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im-out-of-it · 2 months ago

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PSA: RANT ABOUT CORDELIA AND HOW SHES A TERRIBLE SISTER TO ALASTAIR

it astounds me all of the occasions that Alastair has told Cordelia how much he cares and loves her but I never see the same effort back. AND YES IM MAKING ANOTHER POST ABOUT IT

I see Alastair telling her of how he ensured she had the childhood he didn’t get, how he doesn’t trust James and Matthew and doesn’t want to see Cordelia get hurt, how he will support her endeavors whether her future is with James or Matthew, how he hides her sword because she really believed wayland the smith thought she was special (I’m sorry but that’s funny), how he defended cordelia after she ran off to Paris with Matthew, how Alastair didn’t want Cortana to choose her because then danger would follow her, and just how he’s there for her every single day-

and she’s got the audacity to say or think “wow we wouldn’t be here a year ago, he’s changed so much” CAN WE STOP WITH THIS

there’s a part that Thomas says (and I seriously hate that he’s the one to say it) how the past Alastair wouldn’t research paladins to save his sister like Alastair has never been the problem here. I fully believe he is the best brother to her. (I’d kill for this kind of brother) maybe he was stealthy about it in the past and didn’t want to be like “oh hey sis, by the way our father is a drunk and bastard and I’m always cleaning up his messes” like I don’t think she actually fully acknowledges all he has done for her

I’m not saying she needs to constantly thank Alastair but I don’t ever see her being grateful about what he does for her. when Charles is wounded (I don’t see why the bastard couldn’t die), Matthew basically tells Alastair to go to him. and Cordelia is like that’s so big of you Matthew!!!!!! I’m sorry but are we just going to ignore the way charles treated your brother? she seems to have zero concern about this. when Charles tries talking to Alastair, Cordelia tries to leave but Alastair keeps a grip on her. I think there’s only once when she tells Charles to leave Alastair alone but barely.

when Cordelia returns from Paris, it’s all about how she feels. mind you, Alastair feels he can’t have Thomas and yet that isn’t ever processed because how awful for Alastair to have a pov!!!!!!! he shows his support and wow Cordelia is shocked her brother supports her!!!!!!!!

she tells the merry thieves basically that they can continue to be rude to Alastair the day after her wedding. there’s no support there. when Thomas makes a remark about Alastair being awful (which to be fair, he is still trying to process what Alastair did but we don’t actually gain access to his thoughts so the writing doesn’t pay off in the end.), Cordelia says “I know you don’t like Alastair but he is my brother” and that’s it.

Alastair is gaining no support from Cordelia whatsoever. her every thought is about James. at least in chain of gold, she was wanting family honor and helping her family but right after that, it was all about James. and this is why I don’t like her character arc and I don’t like her after chain of gold. she’s extremely selfish and I don’t ever see her support Alastair. just mentioning Thomas and how they all know he was following Thomas isn’t being supportive. I think her worst crime was spying on Alastair and then staying there. no wonder he doesn’t trust you then.

I’m just saying that Alastair has always been there for Cordelia even if it was in quiet and she never seems grateful for him, or the fact Kit died for her. I love that Alastair has Thomas now and I believe he has Gideon, gabriel, Sophie, Eugenia, Cecily and they would make him feel accepted. Gabriel and Gideon had their childhood taken away by a toxic father as well- Cecily as well, and we know Sophie went through it. I feel that they would support and give Alastair the love and support he needs because he certainly doesn’t get any from his sister

and concluding, this is why the book should’ve focused on Alastair. he’s more interesting and I hate that we don’t get his thoughts and he never actually grieves his childhood and gets to process anything

#anti cassandra clare #anti cc #just my stupid opinions #anti charles fairchild #anti cordelia carstairs #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #like it could have been so much better #she’s an awful sister #your brother sacrificed so much but let’s just be ungrateful and selfish #this is why i wanted the book to have a huge part focusing on alastair #alastair deserves better #i love alastair so much

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thatwritergirlsblog · 2 years ago

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Advice for Creating a Magic System

As a fantasy author, I thought I'd share my 5 tips for creating a captivating magic system.

1. Are you writing low fantasy or high fantasy?

Firstly, it's good to know from the get-go whether you're creating a magic system for a low fantasy or high fantasy story.

Low fantasy doesn't necessarily mean there are less fantastical elements or that the story has to take place in a version of the real world. Low fantasy simply indicates that the fantasy elements/magic is not commonplace in that world. Magic and other fantasy elements exist, but only a privy few know about it.

Examples of low fantasy stories include Harry Potter by She Who Shall Not be Named, the Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and my book To Wear A Crown.

High fantasy, on the other hand, indicates that the fantastical elements and magic are known about and commonplace in that world. The people of the world know that magic exists, that there are fantastical beings, other races etc.

Examples of high fantasy stories include Eragon by Christopher Paolini, Crescent City by Sarah J Maas, The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien, and Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard.

2. Hard magic systems vs soft magic systems

The next thing that's vital to decide is whether you're creating a hard or soft magic system.

A hard magic system has built-in limitations. There are certain things that magic can do and that's it. Examples of stories with hard magic systems include Avatar: The Last Airbender and Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo.

A soft magic system doesn't have inherent limitations in relation to what it can achieve. Examples of soft magic systems include Eragon, Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings.

3. What can magic do?

Now that you know whether you're writing low or high fantasy, and whether you're working with a hard or soft magic system, it's time to create some magic!

This is the part where I can't give you too much guidance, because it's all about your creativity.

What do you want magic to look like in your story? What do you want magic to be able to achieve? How big of a role do you want magic to play in the story and your characters' lives?

Do you want different classes of magic wielders, each with mastery over their own element? Do you want magic to be a flexible tool that can be used to achieve almost anything? Do you want your magic to be limited to telepathic actions or creating portals? Do you want different people to have power over different aspects of nature or different magical disciplines?

Can wielders use magic without any tools, or do they need spells, runes or rituals?

The possibilities are endless, but it's important to establish exactly what magic is capable of in your world.

4. How does it work and where does it come from?

Now we know what the magic can do. Next up is why it can do those things. Where does the power of the magic come from and how do wielders command it?

Does the power/force of magic come from within the wielder? Does it draw from inner life force and energy? Does it draw on energy from another realm or dimension? Does it pull from the surrounding natural elements? Does the power come from a deity or from demonic forces?

Identify the source/origin of the magic.

From there, elaborate on how it works. How does a wielder access the source of the magic? Is it through strength of will, incantations, selling their soul etc.?

For example, let's say that the power of your world's magic comes from the cosmic energy of another dimension. In order for wielders to access that energy, they draw specific sigils on their skin and these sigils act as portals to that world. Once the sigil is complete, the cosmic power flows into the wielder and they can now command it.

5. The limitations

Very importantly, you have to be clear on the limitations of your magic system. Fantasy magic systems often fall flat because they don't have clear confines.

If you're writing a hard magic system, this step is a bit easier, since there are inherent restrictions on what magic can do. With soft magic systems, you have to decide just how much magic is capable of.

But whether you're writing a hard or soft magic system, you need to consider the cost of using magic.

Does the use of magic drain the wielder's energy? Does each instance of using magic darken the wielder's soul or deteriorate their body further? Does using magic damage the natural world around the wielder or drain others of their life force?

Magic without a cost, limitations or consequences just isn't as captivating.

Reblog if you liked these tips. Comment with your own advice. Follow me for similar content.

#write #writing #writeblr #writing advice #writer #writing tips #writing fantasy #writers on tumblr #fantasci tumblr

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hotdaemondtargaryen · 3 months ago

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FABIEN FRANKEL AND MATT SMITH DISCUSS THEIR CHARACTERS FOR FORBES MAGAZINE.

frankel talking about criston and daemon:

“They both have a great kind of violence inside of them, and they’re good at it.”

“So, with that kind of mindset, you’re therefore drawn to putting yourself in situations where you can let that violence out, to some extent.”

“I think they’re also kind of both suffering great loss.”

“I think weirdly for Criston, it’s like his loss of freedom.”

“I think once he left being a solider and became a member of King’s Landing, he lost his freedom in his head.”

“Then obviously for Daemon, it’s his brother - loss and violence, I suppose.”

matt smith added:

“I would sort of echo those sentiments, really.”

“I think strangely, as well, when you look at them, they are both at times - they are both kind of frightened little boys, aren’t they, without any real guidance.”

while seated beside frankel during our conversation, matt smith said to his house of the dragon co-star:

“You never really hear about your sort of family back home at all, do you?”

“Perhaps they were quite isolated as young people.”

“There’s a scene in the first season where [our characters] get together and there’s a mini sort of standoff, and I think there’s a recognition in them both that they’re probably more similar than they let on.”

matt smith on daemon targaryen in s2:

“Well, I don’t really judge his decisions too much.”

“I just try and engage in the behavior as truthfully as I can on behalf of him, so to speak.”

“I don’t think, ultimately, he’s very interested in power.”

“I think he’s more interested in chaos and disorder and the thrill of - I don’t know, it’s like being on a jet ski with an axe in your hand, riding towards an army.”

“He lives for whatever that feeling is, if you could kind of bottle that up.”

“When he’s not feeling something akin to that, he just causes problems.”

“He’s outlandish.”

when asking frankel for his thought process as an acting partner with olivia cooke during those heated scenes, he said:

“I don’t want to speak too much to sort of what Olivia and I have spoken about, because I think that it’s for the audience to decide what they see as the sort of justification for the relationship - be that the genuine love or infatuation, or whether it’s a strategic move on either of their parts, because there’s benefits for both of them, I suppose.”

“What I will say is those scenes, in general, really come down to having an amazing director and Clare Kilner, who helmed sort of the majority of mine and Olivia’s kind of romantic-type scenes, made that such a collaborative experience and such an easy one.”

“Thankfully, Olivia is a great friend and very easy to work with.”

i was curious as to what smith and frankel would say to their somewhat enigmatic characters, if only they could.

instead of answering for his own character first, smith jokingly said of frankel’s criston:

Well, I’d go up to Criston Cole and I’d go, ‘Mate, you need to change your wardrobe. You’re always in that.’

frankel added with his message for criston:

“I think I’d say - take a holiday, son.”

“I think he’s just like been - he needs to get out of there for a moment.”

“That trip to Essos sounds pretty lovely, really.”

“Get himself some fresh oranges and make a mimosa.”

matt smith concluded:

“I’d say to Daemon - have you thought of going dark?”

“Hair color, really.”

“Have you thought of a ‘new hair, new you’ sort of thing?”

“It might change your perspective.”

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ukrfeminism · 8 months ago

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The creation of sexually explicit "deepfake" images is to be made a criminal offence in England and Wales under a new law, the government says.

Under the legislation, anyone making explicit images of an adult without their consent will face a criminal record and unlimited fine.

It will apply regardless of whether the creator of an image intended to share it, the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) said.

And if the image is then shared more widely, they could face jail.

A deepfake is an image or video that has been digitally altered with the help of Artificial Intelligence (AI) to replace the face of one person with the face of another.

Recent years have seen the growing use of the technology to add the faces of celebrities or public figures - most often women - into pornographic films.

Channel 4 News presenter Cathy Newman, who discovered her own image used as part of a deepfake video, told BBC Radio 4's Today programme it was "incredibly invasive".

Ms Newman found she was a victim as part of a Channel 4 investigation into deepfakes.

"It was violating... it was kind of me and not me," she said, explaining the video displayed her face but not her hair.

Ms Newman said finding perpetrators is hard, adding: "This is a worldwide problem, so we can legislate in this jurisdiction, it might have no impact on whoever created my video or the millions of other videos that are out there."

She said the person who created the video is yet to be found.

Under the Online Safety Act, which was passed last year, the sharing of deepfakes was made illegal.

The new law will make it an offence for someone to create a sexually explicit deepfake - even if they have no intention to share it but "purely want to cause alarm, humiliation, or distress to the victim", the MoJ said.

Clare McGlynn, a law professor at Durham University who specialises in legal regulation of pornography and online abuse, told the Today programme the legislation has some limitations.

She said it "will only criminalise where you can prove a person created the image with the intention to cause distress", and this could create loopholes in the law.

It will apply to images of adults, because the law already covers this behaviour where the image is of a child, the MoJ said.

It will be introduced as an amendment to the Criminal Justice Bill, which is currently making its way through Parliament.

Minister for Victims and Safeguarding Laura Farris said the new law would send a "crystal clear message that making this material is immoral, often misogynistic, and a crime".

"The creation of deepfake sexual images is despicable and completely unacceptable irrespective of whether the image is shared," she said.

"It is another example of ways in which certain people seek to degrade and dehumanise others - especially women.

"And it has the capacity to cause catastrophic consequences if the material is shared more widely. This Government will not tolerate it."

Cally Jane Beech, a former Love Island contestant who earlier this year was the victim of deepfake images, said the law was a "huge step in further strengthening of the laws around deepfakes to better protect women".

"What I endured went beyond embarrassment or inconvenience," she said.

"Too many women continue to have their privacy, dignity, and identity compromised by malicious individuals in this way and it has to stop. People who do this need to be held accountable."

Shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper described the creation of the images as a "gross violation" of a person's autonomy and privacy and said it "must not be tolerated".

"Technology is increasingly being manipulated to manufacture misogynistic content and is emboldening perpetrators of Violence Against Women and Girls," she said.

"That's why it is vital for the government to get ahead of these fast-changing threats and not to be outpaced by them.

"It's essential that the police and prosecutors are equipped with the training and tools required to rigorously enforce these laws in order to stop perpetrators from acting with impunity."

#articles #mvawg #law

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agaypanic · 11 months ago

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The Fella Part 10 (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

The Fella Masterlist

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Summary: A family occasion takes a turn for a worse when Mary tells her aunt Bridie to drop dead, which she takes seriously. At her wake, Michelle has the bright idea to bring laced scones, which are taken and distributed among the guests.

A/N: credits to @crumpets-are-better-with-jam for writing out the script of the episode for me :)) btw just a warning, it gets a bit heated a little towards the end, but not too much i think. Also talks of drugs bc duh

***

It was becoming a bit difficult to keep up with who knew about Y/n and James’ relationship and who didn’t. Y/n’s sister Erin knew that she fancied James, but wasn’t updated on the fact that they had been dating for over three months now. Clare knew that the pair were going out after catching them kissing at the Take That concert a few weeks ago. But the rest of the group and the teens’ families were none the wiser.

Except for Y/n’s father, Gerry.

One night, everyone was hanging around the Quinn household. There were movies, loads of chatting, and some dinner. But with so many people in the house, it was hard to have even a moment alone with James. So, while everyone argued over what to put on next, Y/n snuck out to the front room, boyfriend close behind.

“I thought we weren’t gonna try to keep things a secret,” James said as he leaned against the wall, Y/n tucked into his side and holding his hand.

“I know Jamie. But with situations like this, I think it’s better to sneak away. I mean, imagine the shock that would come to Mammy, Granda, or Michelle if any of ’em found out.”

“Yeah…” James sighed, realizing Y/n was right.

“Now imagine if all three of them found out at the same time.” Y/n laughed at the idea while James’ eyes widened in horror. “Besides, wanting a moment to ourselves isn’t all bad, right?” She asked, looking up at the boy.

“Right.” He mirrored her soft smile before leaning down to catch her lips in a kiss that was eagerly returned.

So eager that the two didn’t hear the door open.

“You’re lucky it’s me catching you two instead of your mother,” Gerry spoke, startling Y/n and James, who jumped apart. He felt a bit awkward catching his daughter kissing her boyfriend, but he didn’t look too surprised that she had a boyfriend in the first place.

“Da, I can explain.” Y/n tried to go on, but Gerry held up a hand, signaling her to stop.

“I already know.” He said with a smile, hands clasping behind his back. “About you two. Never would’ve if they didn’t decide to film that concert you girls went to.” That new information mortified Y/n and James. But they didn’t have time to fully react, because Gerry continued. “I think the three of us should have a little chat.”

***

The conversation wasn’t as bad as Y/n thought it would’ve been. Gerry was clearly happy and okay with the relationship, just wanting to make sure that they weren’t doing anything too serious. That topic might’ve been the most embarrassing part of the interaction for Y/n.

James, on the other hand, seemed scared shitless the entire time. But Y/n suspected that her father wasn’t so hard on him because of how he was treated by his father-in-law. He probably didn’t want to create some kind of a cycle. Plus, Gerry was pretty fond of James, even before he learned about him and his daughter being an item.

The entire talk played on a loop in Y/n’s head as she sat in church with the rest of her family, waiting for their relative’s wedding to start. Soon enough, the familiar tune of ‘Here Comes The Bride’ started to play, and everyone in the room stood.

“Where do you reckon Aunt Sarah is?” Y/n asked her sister Erin, noticing that a family member was missing from their pew. But her question was soon answered when Sarah entered the room and started walking down the aisle, dressed in white. “Good God.”

Gasps and murmurs filled the room as Sarah went to stand with her family in the pew, revealing a horrified bride and her father behind her.

“Jesus, but that taxi took forever, so it did.” Sarah sighed. The bride-to-be looked at Sarah, absolutely appalled as she passed by. “Ach, isn’t she gorgeous?”

Mary rolled her eyes and looked up towards the sky as she took a deep breath.

“Give me strength…” She muttered.

***

Y/n was a bit surprised that the Quinn family, mainly her aunt Sarah, was still invited to the reception. But that didn’t stop her from trying to have a good time. She, her sister, and her cousin drank and danced around as they waited for their friends to arrive.

Soon enough, Erin spotted their friends, nudging her sister and cousin to gain their attention. They quickly ran to the venue entrance to meet with the other girls and James.

“Muthafuckas!” Michelle yelled in greetings, arms spread out and grin wide.

“How’s it been?” Clare asked with a smile.

The sisters and Orla all had different responses, but had the same reaction when Mary snuck up behind the three of them.

“Girls!” The shout startled them, and everyone whipped around to look at her.

“Jesus, Mammy,” Y/n muttered.

“I said you could invite one friend to the reception. One!”

“Mammy, they don’t come separately,” Erin said, rolling her eyes. She thought her mother would’ve learned this after years of friendship.

“We’re like one big set,” Y/n said, gesturing to the group of teenagers.

“Aye, we’re pack animals, Mary,” Michelle said. Mary was about to say something, possibly tell them to leave or further reprimand them, when James spoke.

“I love your hat, Mrs. Quinn.” He said with a smile, eyeing the accessory. Mary smiled, and the girls were surprised to see that her slightly sour mood had seemed to disappear.

“Thanks, son.” She said, giving him a nod before looking at the whole group, a bit more serious. “No wild carry-on. Do you hear me? We’re in enough bother as it is. Best behavior.”

“Completely.” Clare nodded, taking the commands to heart.

“You’ll have no trouble from us, Mary,” Michelle said with an innocent smile, which should be worrying. Mary walked off, and Michelle turned back to the group once she was out of earshot. “Okay, girls, who wants to do drugs?” Y/n snorted at the complete 180, but Michelle was completely serious.

The girls, mainly Michelle and Erin, like always, had a back and forth about the drugs and someone named Macca and so on. Y/n used this moment to turn to James, almost glued to his side at the back of the group as they all walked around the reception party.

“Trying to butter up Mammy, are you?” She asked teasingly, thinking about how James’ little comment completely changed her mother’s sour demeanor.

James laughed a little, throwing his head back, and Y/n couldn’t help but smile stupidly at the boy. He shrugged.

“Well, I figured I might as well start now to try to get on her good side. It’s only a matter of time, I think.” Y/n nodded in agreement.

“We could tell them.” She suggested after a small moment of silence. James perked up, both surprised and delighted by the notion. “I mean, like you said, it’s only a matter of time. And they’d probably prefer hearing it from us over walking in on us doing something.”

James’ cheeks reddened at the sentence. He blinked a few times, his mind clearly drifting off to some kind of thought.

“And by something… you mean like-” Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and music started blasting through the speakers. Y/n lit up in excitement along with the rest of the room, while James looked a bit confused at the commotion that started to happen.

“‘Rock the Boat’! It’s ‘Rock the Boat!” Clare squealed as she recognized the song.

“Happy fuckin’ days!” Michelle said, and the girls ran to the dance floor. Y/n was dragging James behind her, who seemed slightly alarmed by everyone’s intense enthusiasm.

Everyone sat on the floor in long, giant rows, fighting for space. The girls were able to push their way to the front, synchronously dancing with the rest of the party people. There, the girls continued their drug conversation, with Y/n and James now joining in.

“Look, Michelle,” Clare said to the girl behind her. “Drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, and perhaps most importantly, in this country, you can lose your kneecaps if you’re caught doing them. And I like my kneecaps, Michelle; they suit my knees.”

“You do have crackin’ kneecaps, Clare.” Orla smiled at the girl, having to leave to the side and turn her head to look at the blonde.

“Is that true?” James asked, lips close to Y/n’s ear.

“What?” Y/n turned around, almost startled by how James was to her face. “Clare’s kneecaps?”

“No. I mean losing your kneecaps.”

“Oh. Clare’s a bit dramatic, Jamie.” The girl turned back around to face ahead. “But she’s a bit right, I think.”

“What?!”

Before any conversations could continue, a dull but loud thud was heard from a corner of the room. Everyone looked to see Aunt Bridie lying on the floor, with the Quinn family looking at Mary in shock.

***

The next few days felt tense at the Quinn household. It was mainly the teenagers being fearful of Mary, because they believed that she was the reason for her Aunt Bridie’s sudden death and didn’t want to be her next victim. The house had never been so clean and tidy.

“I just cannot believe it.” Mary’s tone was almost flat as she stared off into space, clutching her teacup and rarely ever sipping it.

“Listen, Mary,” Sarah said, sitting in the chair beside her. “No matter what you’ve done, you’re still my sister. I’ll stand by you.”

“I haven’t done anything, Sarah.”

“Exactly, love. Everybody knows you didn’t mean to kill the old boot.” Grandpa Joe paused to take a sip of his coffee. “God rest her soul.”

“I didn’t kill her,” Mary responded, immediately tired of the assumption.

“You know what I mean, not kill.” Joe looked around as if he would find the word he was looking for on the wall. “Hex.”

“I didn’t hex her either, Da.” She said defensively. “It was just a very tragic-”

“My mother, she had the gift too, y’know.” Joe interrupted. “By God, that woman could make her enemies drop like flies.”

“Look, I don’t have any gift,” Mary said, letting go of her teacup to lay her hands flat on the table to show finality and seriousness. “There’s no dark forces at play here. I just said somethin’... unfortunate that happened to-”

“Cause her death?” Sarah asked.

“Coincide with her death.” Mary corrected.

Ah, yes. Mary telling her aunt Bridie to drop dead and then her actually doing it was just an unfortunate coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less.

Meanwhile, at the sink, Y/n dried the last dish that Erin washed and handed it to Orla to put away. The three girls had been working as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Mary. Erin was the first to speak, turning around slowly with a nervous tone.

“Right. Well, that’s the dishes done. Would you like another cup of tea, Mammy?”

As if remembering she even had a cup of tea, Mary looked down at the cup and took a quick sip.

“No, I’m fine.”

“I’ll just grab the Hoover n’give the stairs a bit of a going over.”

“Aye, and I can sweep the hall and such,” Y/n added, trying to remember the last place she had seen the broom.

“And I’ll maybe do a bit of dusting,” Orla said.

Mary raised an eyebrow, suspicion of the girls pulling her out of her dazed and solemn mood.

“What’s gotten into you all?” She asked. “What’re you up to? What’s going on?”

“Nothin’!” Erin answered, still seeming a bit scared. “We just thought that we should pull our weight a bit more, Mammy.”

“You do so much for us, Aunt Mary.”

“Aye, Mammy, you deserve a bit of a break.”

“I can’t hex people, girls,” Mary said frustratedly. “It was an accident.”

As if on cue, Gerry waltzed into the kitchen and smiled at his wife. He placed a hand on her shoulder as part of a greeting.

“So, how’s the Wicked Witch of the North West?” The question seemed so loving and innocent. Y/n would’ve laughed if Mary hadn’t seemed like she was actually about to murder someone.

“Who put fifty p in the eedgit?” Joe asked, glaring at Gerry. Gerry looked at him confused, wondering what he had done this time.

Mary groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

“God, how am I going to go to this wake?”

“It’ll be grand, love,” Joe said. “But listen, say if things do get heated, try not to rise to it. The last thing we want is another dead body on our hands here.”

Mary stared up at Joe with a blank expression.

“I’ll do my best, Da.”

***

Later that evening, the Quinns and McCools arrived at the wake. Everyone seemed a bit surprised and startled to see Mary, clearly believing the rumors that she had been her Aunt Bridie’s undoing. After a slightly awkward encounter with Eamon, Bridie’s son, the girls escaped everyone by going upstairs to the room that held Bridie herself.

“She really suits bein’ dead, doesn’t she?” Orla said after a good moment of solemn silence, staring down at the woman.

“What?” Erin seemed disturbed by what her cousin had said, but Y/n nodded.

“No, yeah, I agree. I like her better like this.”

“Y/n, she’s dead.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you liked her better living?”

Before Erin could answer, the door to the room opened. The girls turned to see Clare peeking her head through.

“Can we come in?” She asked in a whisper.

“Why are you whispering, Clare?” Y/n asked, tilting her head in confusion. Clare paused, thinking it over.

“I don’t know.”

The rest of the group crowded around Bridie’s casket. Michelle and Clare walked to the end by her feet, and James decided to stand behind Y/n. He rested a hand gently on her shoulder, as if to comfort her, and she raised a hand of her own to lay on his, as if to thank him.

“Thanks for comin’, guys.” Erin sighed, seeming slightly distressed now. “It’s nice to have a bit of support in this very difficult time.” Everyone seemed very confused by the statement.

“You thought she was a dick,” Michelle said.

“I never said that.”

“You did, Erin,” Orla said.

“I’m pretty sure we all thought she was a dick, but you were the vocal one about it,” Y/n added.

“Aye, I’ve definitely heard you say it,” Clare said.

“Okay, can I just check something?” James asked, clearly focused on something else. The girls looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Everybody else can see the dead body, right?”

Everyone took a glance at the body in question, trying to figure out what the problem was.

“It’s just Bridie, Jamie,” Y/n said.

“It’s Bridie’s corpse.” The boy corrected. “It’s Bridie’s dead corpse.”

“It’s her wake. What were you expectin’?” Michelle asked, rolling her eyes.

“Haven’t you ever seen a dead body before?” Erin asked.

“Of course not!” James nearly yelled, shocked that Erin would even ask such a question. Michelle scoffed.

“Christ, but the English are weird.”

Orla leaned down close to Bridie, taking her face in her hands and looking up at James. She had that childlike but absentminded wonder in her eyes and smile that she always had.

“You can touch her if you want.”

James flinched, moving his hands to Y/n’s hips as he took a slight step back. As he moved back, he maneuvered Y/n to act as a shield between him and the dead body and Orla. James looked at Orla in disgusted shock.

“Why the hell would I want to touch her?” Y/n snorted at James’ suddenly high-pitched voice.

“It’s nice.” Orla smiled brightly.

“Stop it.”

“It’s just a dead body, James,” Clare said in a comforting tone, trying to get him to calm down. “We’re all gonna be one someday.”

“Oh, thanks for that, Clare!” Horrified, James brought Y/n closer until her back was pressed against his front. It was as if everyone else was some sort of strange or bad energy that could only be warded off by Y/n, and she was happy to go along with it. “Yeah, that’s helped!”

“It’s okay, Jamie,” Y/n said, patting one of the hands gripping her hips. James relaxed just a bit, but was still weary because of how weird this whole situation was to him. “Calm yourself.”

“It really makes you think, doesn’t it?” Michelle said solemnly, staring at Bridie for a second before looking at the girls. “Death.” She sighed dramatically, and everyone immediately wondered what she was up to this time. “It just… just makes you wanna… do everythin’ and just… try everythin’.”

“What’s going on, Michelle?” Clare asked, looking at her suspiciously.

“Yeah, what are you on about?” Y/n eyed the girl with a raised brow. Michelle suddenly seemed excited, a stark contrast to her fake grimness.

“Do you wanna see something’ class?” Michelle then threw her purse, which was, for some reason, big and bulky, onto Bridie’s feet. Someone would’ve reprimanded her for disrespecting the deceased by using Bridie as a table, but they were too busy watching her pull a big Tupperware out of her purse. “Prepare yourself, girls.” She then popped the lid off to show what was inside. She looked at her friends excitedly.

“Scones?” Erin asked, clearly unimpressed.

“That’s right.”

“What’s so class about scones?”

“Scones are lovely.” Orla countered, seeming a bit offended by Erin’s uninterest.

“Aye, I like scones.” Clare nodded.

“No, these aren’t any old scones, girls.” Michelle insisted, shaking her head. “These are funny scones.”

“Funny’s the right word, alright,” Y/n said, reaching for one of the scones in the bin to look at it. As she dropped it back in with the rest, she looked at Michelle with a tilt of her head. “What’s so special about ’em?”

“They’re drug scones!” Clare squeaked, pointing urgently at the food. “She’s put the drugs in the scones!”

“Too fuckin’ right, I have,” Michelle said with a grin. “I wanted to do brownies, but this was the only recipe my ma had, so…”

“I don’t think it’s that hard to find a brownie recipe, Michelle,” Y/n said.

“I’m not goin’ out of my way to find a brownie recipe, Y/n.”

“We talked about this, Michelle. We agreed.” Clare said, bringing the conversation back to the drugs.

“No, we didn’t,” Michelle argued. “Anyway, drugs aren’t illegal when you put them into food. Everybody knows that.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Michelle,” Y/n said.

“Is that right?” James asked sarcastically, almost glaring with bewilderment at his cousin. “I’m not sure that’s right.”

Just then, the door opened, and everybody froze. An old woman walked in, and the girls quickly recognized her as one of the caterers for the wake.

“Any cups up here?” She asked, walking towards them while looking around. She spotted the tub, and before anyone could stop her, she reached out and grabbed it. “I’ll take that.” The woman said simply before leaving the room.

Everyone stared at where the scones had once been, panic running through them all.

“What the fuck just happened?” Michelle asked the room. Y/n looked at the girl with wide eyes.

“I believe a caterer just took your funny fuckin’ scones to give out at our great Aunt Bridie’s wake, Michelle.”

After another moment of feeling frozen, everyone went downstairs as fast as possible without drawing attention. Defeated and not knowing what to do, the girls sat down on the steps. As they settled, they watched Joe pass by with one of the scones in hand.

“What are we gonna do?” Clare asked frantically.

“It’s fine,” Michelle said shortly. But everyone could tell she was just as panicked as the rest.

“It’s definitely not fine!” Clare hissed. “There’s drug scones down there. People’ll eat the drug scones, then we’ve drugged those people, Michelle.”

“Our granda included.” Y/n butted in, resting her chin on the top of James’ head, who was sitting on one of the steps just below her. “Lord knows what’ll happen to him.”

“So?” Michelle said, clearly worried but trying to seem aloof. “Drugging people isn’t a crime.”

“You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle,” James said, rubbing at his eyes in disbelief and exhaustion.

“What kind of person brings hash scones to a wake?” Erin asked with a scowl. Michelle scoffed.

“Typical.” She said. “I try to do a nice thing, and this is the thanks I get.”

“A nice thing?” Y/n repeated in disbelief, turning back to look at Michelle. “Oh yeah, how nice. Let’s all get hopped up illegally at a wake. Oh, wait. We can’t, because someone took your stupid scones!”

“It’s terrible,” Clare added, sounding as panicked and scared as usual. “There’s old people down there; what if an old person takes one?”

“Why does everyone get so sentimental about old people?” Michelle asked. “Old people are arseholes.”

“We’ve got to get ’em back, girls,” Erin said, starting to get scared of the thought of any of her family having a funny scone.

“Look, I’m not disagreeing with you. I bought that stuff so I could get high, not your great Uncle Colm.”

“Oh Christ, I didn’t even think about that,” Y/n muttered. Colm was already a character to begin with; him being high as balls would probably turn him either more boring or unmanageable. Y/n stood up and faced the girls. “Here’s the plan. I’ll head to the kitchen to grab whatever’s left. The rest of you go and find the ones that people have taken and pray that they haven’t taken a bite yet.”

“And remember, girls,” Erin said, standing up with her sister. “Be subtle.” Everyone nodded and split up to do their tasks.

Y/n went to the kitchen and quietly crept to the swinging door. She took a quick look, saw that the few people inside were occupied with different things, and carefully walked in. She was surprised to see her father ranting about cross-contamination and using different bowls. Y/n wondered if he had been roped into helping in the kitchen, but whether he was forced or had volunteered, she smiled at the sight of his sudden passion.

Y/n spotted the scones, about half the amount from the last time she saw them, now plated on a serving platter. While reaching for the plate, the door opened behind her.

“Now listen here, you.” Y/n flinched and turned around quickly, recognizing the voice to be her granda Joe. But he wasn’t looking at her. As usual, he directed his pointed look to Gerry, who looked at his father-in-law, both confused and annoyed.

“Yes, Joe?”

“I just wanna say…” Joe trailed off, getting closer to Gerry and putting a hand on his shoulder. Gerry and Y/n looked at the old man in bewilderment when he laughed. “I think you’re doing a fine job.” Then he patted Gerry’s cheek before turning around and walking out of the kitchen. “Keep up the good work.”

Gerry and Y/n turned their shocked stares to each other once Joe was out of the room. The only thing that broke their eye contact was a timer going off, which somehow snapped Gerry back into his working mode. Using the opportunity of her dad’s distractedness, Y/n swiped the platter and walked out.

The girl soon realized that she and her friends never agreed on a place to meet after retrieving the scones. But not wanting anyone to see her wander around with a platter of scones, she snuck back upstairs, where she was surprised to see James slowly wandering the hallway.

“Hey,” Y/n said with relief, glad it was him instead of a stranger. Or worse, her mother.

“Hey.” He smiled at her, holding up a scone as he walked closer to her. “Found your uncle Colm with this.” He sat the scone on top of the others.

“Thank God you got it before he took a bite.” Y/n laughed lightly, James joining in. “Were you just waiting for someone to come up?”

“Yeah, I thought being up here would be better than wandering around where everyone else was.”

“Smart.” Y/n nodded once, looking around the empty hall. “What do you suppose we do about all of these?”

The two thought for a moment, racking their brains for an idea. James suddenly snapped his fingers.

“Remember when you snuck over to mine that one night, and we watched Goodfellas?”

“Aye, Ray Liotta was a dream, wasn’t he?”

“Sure.” James rolled his eyes at the comment. “But do you remember how Karen got rid of the drugs?”

Y/n took a quick second to think about whether or not she did, in fact, remember. The most memorable things of the night she snuck over to James’ were Ray Liotta, the snacks James had snuck up to his room, and kissing each other to keep loud talking or laughs from gaining the attention of the rest of the household.

“You think it’ll work?” Y/n asked once she remembered what James was talking about. “I mean, these are scones.”

“What other options do we have?” James asked. And to be honest, Y/n couldn’t think of any.

The sound of a knob turning startled the two teens. They scrambled to hide the stolen platter of scones behind them just before the bathroom door a bit down the hall opened up. A middle-aged woman that Y/n barely recognized walked out, and Y/n and James smiled politely at her as she passed.

Once she was down the stairs, James and Y/n ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

“Let’s just wait for the others here,” Y/n said, balancing the platter on the sink so she wouldn’t have to hold it any longer. “So… what d’ya wanna do?”

It took a few seconds of silence before Y/n and James rushed at each other, quickly becoming a mess of tangled limbs and clashing lips. The couple rarely had time alone for things like this, the heat of the moment always being ignored because of the fear of being caught. But with a locked door, a few minutes of making out couldn’t do much harm.

Y/n’s hands buried themselves into James’ curls, tugging at them as he backed her into the wall next to the door. A hand cupped the back of her neck while the other stayed gripped on her waist, keeping her in place. Not that she’d want to leave.

James’ lips strayed away from Y/n’s, leaving featherlight kisses across her cheek and jaw before settling on her neck. The hand on Y/n’s neck pulled back her hair, giving James the access he needed to nip and suck lightly at the sensitive skin just below Y/n’s ear.

“Are you marking me?” She asked, breath hitching. She wasn’t opposing the matter, far from it, really. But she was a bit surprised to have this kind of behavior coming from James.

“Just a bit.” He replied breathlessly, kissing the slightly sore spot before returning to Y/n’s lips. “For a bit of fun, y’know?” Y/n giggled. She was lucky that she could probably hide the soon-to-be mark by keeping her hair down.

“Sure, just a bit of fun.” She replied, pecking James’ lips a few times.

The two were able to get themselves straightened out just before the rest of the girls found them. They closed the door behind them, and James caught them all up on the plan.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Michelle sighed as she and the rest of the group broke apart the scones and dropped the crumbled bits into the toilet. “It’s fuckin’ heartbreaking.”

“Believe me, Michelle, it’s better this way,” Y/n said, grabbing another laced scone. “Granda’s had one, and now he’s acting, like, really fuckin’ weird.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“He was nice to Daddy.” The group made noises of shock and disbelief. “Exactly. And if Mammy starts asking questions…”

“You’re Ma won’t trace it back to us.”

“Are you serious?” Erin asked Michelle. “She traces everything back to us. She traces things we haven’t even done back to us!”

“Are you sure this’ll work?” Clare asked James.

“This is how you get rid of drugs, Clare.” He said confidently, as if this wasn’t the first time he’s had to do this. “I’ve seen Goodfellas, like, twenty times.”

“Aye, good movie,” Y/n commented as she brushed her hands on her jeans to get rid of the crumbs that stuck to her nervously sweaty palms.

“That’s not the only way.” Orla countered. “I watched this film once about this girl who was tryin’ to hide drugs, and what she did was she shoved them right up her—”

“I’m not sticking a scone up my hole, Orla.” Michelle hissed. Orla shrugged, raising her hands in defense.

Once everyone was done breaking down the scones, Clare sighed, seeming as nervous and panicked as always.

“Okay, I’m gonna flush.” She did so, and everyone watched as not much happened. “Is it working?”

“‘Course it’s working,” James said, still sure of his plan.

But then the water started to rise, and everyone started to panic.

“Jesus Christ!” Erin yelped in a high-pitched voice. “Why is the water rising, James?”

“I don’t know! The water didn’t rise in Goodfellas!”

“We’ve clogged it.”

“Who has a plunger?” Orla asked, seeming to be the most calm of the group.

“I’m afraid I left the house without me plunger tonight, Orla,” Erin replied, clearly sarcastic.

“Aye, me too,” Orla replied seriously. “Nightmare, so it is.”

The toilet started flooding faster, and the girls scrambled around in a panic. Scone water was beginning to spill onto the floor, and everyone had to stop themselves from gagging as they tried to find a way to clean it up. This situation couldn’t possibly get any worse.

“Dear God…” Everyone whipped around to see the adults of the Quinn and McCool families, plus Bridie’s son, Eamon. Erin laughed nervously, deciding to be the one to find an excuse.

“It looks worse than it is.” Was all she said, which really wasn’t much of an excuse.

“My mother was right about you people,” Eamon said, horrified and angry. “Wild animals have more manners.”

“We didn’t have a plunger, Eamon!” Orla shouted.

“Get out!” He yelled. “Get out!”

The teens did so gladly, running out of the bathroom and out of the house. They gathered on the front lawn, and they couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the evening. But they still feared what would happen when Mary walked out.

“The night wasn’t all that bad, I think,” James said quietly, only Y/n being able to hear him. She looked up at him curiously.

“How so?”

Instead of speaking, he raised his hand to cup her neck, gently tapping where he had bruised her. She gasped, pushing his hand away before the two of them fell into laughter, not caring about the confused looks their friends gave them.

“I’ll see you Monday, then?” He asked when they had calmed down a bit. Y/n caught a glimpse of her mother leaving the house before she answered.

“If I live that long.”

~~~

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