#claire's work

[kyaroscuro]

All About You

Maybe it's all about you when your youth is filled with each other's names and your heart has never changed. That's what Juyeon finds out when he falls in love with his best friend.

pairing : bff!juyeon x gn!reader (+bf to ex!sunwoo) genre : fluff, bestfriends to lovers, slow burn, slight angst but happy ending warnings : swearing/cursing, sex jokes, implied sex, mention of burnout, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, pet names (sweetheart, good girl, pretty, baby) notes : it's been a long road but i'm happy to introduce y'all to my baby! i've been (and still am) obsessed with juyeon since the zeneration 2 concert and i guess i've had a lot to write about him... i hope you'll find out the few references i've managed to sneak in! enjoy ✧.* shout out to my dear @winterchimez for proofreading and helping me during the whole writing process, you were a great help <3 words count : 13745

No one ever told you how relationships work. So when you fell in love with your best friend Juyeon at 16, you felt a little helpless. Should he be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Was it wrong to lean on him when he welcomed you into his arms for a movie night? Eventually those feelings faded as you both started dating, and you wondered if it was even true love. Maybe the 16-year-old teenager you were was just attracted to the idea of being close to another soul, mentally and physically.

Maybe yes.

The only thing you know right now at 24, is that the feelings you had for Juyeon back then were nothing compared to the ones you have for Sunwoo today. The attention and love he gives you makes everyone jealous. Even Juyeon himself.

If he wanted to take you out to dinner, you would turn him down because you already had plans with Sunwoo. Arcade, karaoke, late night walks, picnics, fancy restaurants or fast food, you’re always together. Sometimes when you feel like staying in, Juyeon would show up, hoping to watch a movie like the good old days. But he’s met with Sunwoo at the door and doesn’t have the energy to see you being all lovey-dovey.

He knows better than to be a third wheel. As much as he understands the time you spend with your boyfriend, he can’t help but feel jealous and left out. You’re not trying to make him feel that way, you just needed Sunwoo’s presence.

The two of you met in your 3rd year of thesis. He was actually the student under your supervision for his end-of-studies internship. You obviously spent six months seeing each other and working together – in the lab, the library, cafes and even at home. You both grew closer in no time, and that’s only fair given the fact that Sunwoo is a living comedian. You don’t think you would have made it through the whole editing process without his support.

The funniest thing he had ever done was that he was proofreading your work while you did the same for his. Sure enough, you both graduated with the help from one another and a couple of kisses were shared.

From Juyeon’s point of view, those six months felt like an eternity. He had a girlfriend at the time and couldn’t really go out with you. You were both busy for different reasons, but still tried to see each other once a week. But when you did see each other, you always talked about Sunwoo and he talked about his girlfriend. That’s what your lives were made of, but it was a little heartbreaking that you were best friends who only talked about your partners.

“How’s the job hunt going?” He asked at one of your meetings.

“Great actually, I felt like giving up, but I didn’t endure those three years to throw it all away, did I? Sunwoo helped me a lot, he’s my lifesaver.”

Juyeon felt like throwing up, as if his heart had been stepped on the moment he heard those words, and he didn’t know why.

“What about you?” You asked him, cutting his train of thought.

Oh, he knew you were talking about his own job, which he quit a few months ago (more like he’s on a break because he’s burned out). But it’s not like he has to tell you; he doesn’t have the guts to anyway. He thinks you would be sad and angry with him, when all you really want is for him to be happy. And he’s also upset that he’s had to give up on his dream job because it was affecting his health. Thankfully, his boss has been kind enough to give him a chance to rest up for now. Maybe all he needs to keep going is your reassurance?

“We broke up.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I’m so sorry Juyo, aren’t you too sad?” You say as you reach out to him.

“To be honest, I am.” He admits, looking up at you, a small smile forms on his lips. “It was a mutual agreement, but I feel like I screwed it up. She said I needed to think about my own needs and wants.”

“And what do you want?”

“To spend time with you.” He says straightforwardly.

Your cheeks flushed at his sudden comment. Has he always been so honest?

“I’m free tomorrow if you’re fine with that? Sunwoo is going out with his band.” You say, eager to spend more time with him. “Oh, and Juyo; you should know that I will always make time for you. You’re a big part of my life and I care about you more than anyone else so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I’m just one call away.”

“I know that but I always seem to bother you.” He says, a little ashamed to think so.

“You don’t. What makes you think that?” You frown at his words, wondering if he actually meant them. “You have no idea how much I look forward to our weekly meetings! It keeps me going during the week, I swear, ask Sunwoo he only hears about you.”

“Oh,” he responded, feeling delighted with your words.

“Yes Juyo, I miss you a lot.” You gasped shyly, suddenly very focused on your hot cup.

“I miss you even more.” He looks for your eyes with a hint of fondness that you don’t notice, even when you raise your head to tell him,

“So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he smiles, pleased to see you smile back with the same touch of affection.

When you think about it, you don’t understand how it is possible to break up with Lee Juyeon. You didn’t really know the girl he was dating, you never met her, you only saw her face in a picture once. But you do know your best friend, and he’s not the type to break someone’s heart. He would fight for the person he loves, even if it doesn’t work out. Juyeon is love personified. So how can you reject him?

Woo ☼ (3)

Sweetheart I miss you

When are you coming back home

I have a present for you

What kind of present?

Me ;)

OMW

Juyo <3 (1)

Thanks for today, I can’t wait for tomorrow. Pick you up at 10?

Will be pretty and ready!

Always pretty but ready? I’m looking forward to it

As soon as you read his message, your heart began to thump real loud and your cheeks immediately flushed red. Who are you and what have you done to Juyeon? When did he become so flirty? Or maybe he has always been like this and you never cared before. But why do you even care now? 

When you were 16, you remember vividly how he kissed your hand goodbye because he was a gentleman and you were a darling. Everyone at school made fun of you for being so old-fashioned, but little did they know that you liked it. Eventually, when you turned 17, he dropped the act and started kissing your forehead instead. It was a hundred per cent worse. Your cheeks turned pink every time you thought about it and people were calling you out for being highkey on PDA and asking you to spare the singles.

Maybe then he was always this flirty.

It didn’t matter much to you because it was puppy love. The first man you ever loved. Until Sunwoo came into the picture.

“How was your date sweetheart?” You laugh into the kiss he greets you with.

“Pretty good, I think I’m developing feelings, I don’t know, he’s just so sweet and- Ouch Sunwoo!” You yelped, surprised by his sudden, somewhat erotic gesture.

“What?” He giggles innocently.

“You didn’t have to pin me against the wall, did you?” You ask rhetorically, knowing full well what his answer will be.

“I did,” his sparkling eyes turn to onyx, his tongue runs over his lips and his gaze travels up and down your body as he answers.

“Yeah?” You whisper, aroused by his deep voice.

“Yes.”

His plump lips are all over yours in an instant, taking your breath away. To deepen the kiss and emphasise his need to be closer, he grabs your legs so you can wrap them around his waist and welcome him in. Your arms wrap around his neck as you yield, kissing him back with passion and love. He doesn’t let go until you’re both out of breath, and then he kisses you again and again like a madman. Eventually, you’re so lost in the pleasure of his kisses that when you feel him nipping at your neck, you push him away, panting.

“I understand that Juyeon is your best friend,” he says with a heavy voice. “But you can’t joke about dating another man.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as he runs his tongue over your lips before kissing you lazily. You stick out your tongue, waiting for him to resume his kiss. He chuckles at your behaviour but kisses you nonetheless.

“Good girl hm, are you hungry?” He utters with lustful and honey dripping eyes.

“Let’s take this into the bedroom then.” At his promise to take you to heaven, you nod eagerly, excited to see what he has planned for you.

You don’t quite remember what happened after that, too lost in lust and love. You felt the kisses on your forehead and the caresses in your hair before he left the bed.

Suddenly, nothing. All you felt was emptiness.

You turn to check your phone when you yelp in pain because your back hurts. Your man was a beast last night.

Wait.

9:30am?

You hurriedly get out of bed, taking in your dishevelled appearance and the hickeys Sunwoo had the courtesy to leave on your body. You’re ashamed to go out like this, because you know that you have little to no time to cover them up.

More importantly, Juyeon will notice them. It’s not that you cared about exposing your sex life, you have a lot of fun with Sunwoo and he’s the greatest in and out of bed. But for Juyeon to see you in such a vulnerable way? It does something to you and you can’t figure out why.

You never talked about your sex life with Juyeon although you are best friends; you two are kind of secretive. Sure, there were times when you complained that your exes were terrible kissers or that dates were horrible. But when it comes to any form of intimacy, it was out of the books. You both never joked about kinks, never asked about turn-ons. Yet, you shared your very first kiss with Juyeon when you were 16.

It was a bit messy and hilarious because you had no idea what you were doing. You remember how when he dropped you off after school or after a playdate, he had this cute habit of kissing your hand goodbye. It was also at that age when you started going to parties – a party between friends, no alcohol, maybe just some cheap beer that tasted like grass. But that was fun and it was also the time when you were introduced to love, through couples and kisses.

Love has always been a foreign language to you. You know for a fact that love is what your parents share with each other, through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts but also through struggles.

But you also know that the person you’re closest to doing those things is Juyeon. You both were always cuddling, fighting over movies or places to eat. You both would also cheer, support and reassure each other.

You both would always have each other on your minds, sending texts, calling or buying sweet things. It’s only fair that you thought you were in love with him, isn’t it?

And that faithful night, at your birthday party, he thought it would be a great idea to carry you and run around in circles until he lost his balance and fell with you laying on top of him. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but you saw flames in his starry eyes, and then he pecked at your lips. He brushed it off by pulling you up and wishing you a happy birthday but your heart was racing and so was his.

“Sorry Ju, I woke up late, I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” you pout as you reached his car, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank god your prettiness makes up for lost time,” he jokingly hugs you, his hands laying a little low on your waist. “But you have to take responsibility for making me wait.”

“Juyeon! It’s been 5 minutes you can’t blame me for the delay!” You wriggle into his embrace and put your head in the crook of his neck, a little embarrassed but wanting to be close to him.

“I can, and that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whistles, taking you out of his arms to observe the love bites on your fair skin. “Maybe you’d be on time if you hadn’t had so much fun last night.”

“Y-Yeah, I walked into a trap,” you stammered, speechless.

“The kind of trap you can’t refuse, I bet.”

And he opens the passenger door before giving you his hand to help you get in. You look at his hand and then straight into his eyes to understand where that confidence comes from, but he just smiles and nods.

“Come on, we have much to do before the carriage turns into a pumpkin.” He smiles and fights with the wind to tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ear.

Spending time with Juyeon is one of the things you adore the most in the world. You were so used to spending your days with him when you were teenagers that you almost forgot what it was like. The princess treatment, the cafe dates, the shopping and giving opinions on outfits, the restaurants. Now that you’re all grown up, reliving those moments feels a little bit odd but great. After all, you’re the same people who dance to the music in every corner shop and laugh at every silly move you make.

Going out with Juyeon is also all about treats and gifts. You have this implicit rule that when you’re out and about, you’re encouraged to pay in turns – be it at the restaurants, bars or for desserts. And of course, he pleases you more often than you please him, but you tend to buy more things related to him – matching items or clothes that reflect his style.

“Look at this cute bracelet! We should get it to celebrate our 10 years offriendship,” you beamed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist without a word of protest to see how it looks.

“But it’s paired with a promise ring?” He comments, in case you haven’t noticed and had a change of heart.

“Then we can get the ring in another 10 years,” you giggle and squeeze his hand to reassure him that this is what you want.

Happy with your little joke, you went to the cashier to buy the bracelets. But it sparked something within Juyeon’s heart. He may be slow to understand, but you don’t have to tell him twice. You consider him to be your significant other. That’s what a promise ring means.

After all, you wanted to commit yourself to him for the rest of your life. You’re his best friend and that should be normal. It is normal to stick by each other’s side. But why is his heart missing a beat?

If you ask Juyeon about his relationship with you, he would describe it as “enchanting”. You’re the most important thing to him. Ever since he bumped into you in 3rd grade, you two have been inseparable. But there’s something that’s always bothered him.

In the beginning, he thought it was because you were the only one that he was really close to. He didn’t look at you any differently. But every time you smiled, he felt a twist in his stomach. Then he made it his goal to make you blush and to kiss your hand. It was thrilling to see you all flustered by his own actions.

He grew up and unfortunately that feeling never went away. In the end, he thought that maybe it was just the hormones. A 16-year-old boy needs to get to know his body and its needs. That’s what he did. Eventually the feelings vanished, but the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Even when he was with his ex.

He’s well aware that you are in a relationship with Sunwoo and that the two of you are in love. He’s never been happier for you. After all the people who have taken advantage of you, you deserve someone positive. Someone who will be there for you and will make you feel loved and truly fall in love. Like Sunwoo.

And yet, he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to you. He needs to explore his feelings. At least to understand them. Even if it costs him.

“How about a drink?” He asks as the sun is about to go down.

“No, you need to drive safely.” You flinched, clearly against the idea of losing him in such a stupid way.

“What about my place? You know I have this amazing balcony overlooking the sea.” He offers in return with a smirk.

“Deal,” you say with gleaming eyes.

You love Juyeon’s apartment; it has a soft and romantic atmosphere and it’s even more beautiful when the sun goes down. The many plants he has turn a warm orange with the colours of the sky and you swear, it’s so beautiful, like a haven of peace.

“Red or white?” He asks, holding the two bottles out for you.

“Anything’s fine, choose for me please Juyo,” you sing-song, happy to share this moment with him.

While you are setting up his balcony table with candles and wine glasses, he returns with a red bottle and appetisers. He gestures for you to sit on the bean bag and pour the wine like a real chef. You whistle, impressed by his newfound skill. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be Juyeon if he didn’t do a little dance to make you laugh before handing you your glass.

Now that he’s seated, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. It’s quiet, but you can hear the faint music coming from the living room speakers. Juyeon has never liked the silence, so he always needs to have some kind of background music to feel comfortable. He says it calms him down, especially when he’s nervous, and you have to agree with that.

But does that mean that he was nervous right now?

He never needed music with you, as he always said your voice was his own melody – the harmony he couldn’t get enough of. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling you out of your reverie.

You nod, knowing exactly what he means, and reach out to take his hand. He intertwines your fingers and, in the pink-orange hues of the sky you catch yourself blushing. You risk a glance to see him starring absent-mindedly into space and you seize the opportunity to stare him down.

His bangs, usually on his forehead are pushed back, giving him a more mature and sexy look. His eyes, in a beautiful crescent shape, shine with the intensity of the stars. His pretty nose sits up on his face, like a trophy ready to be claimed. And his lips. They’re curled into a gentle smile.

Without a care in the world, he runs his tongue over them and opens them as if he wanted to speak. But no sound comes out, except for the tongue he’s now biting. Suddenly, as if he was aware that you are looking at him, he turns to meet your gaze. Truth be told, you weren’t very discreet. His dark eyes hold yours, then move to your lips, and you see the faint beginnings of a smirk on his lips before he bursts into laughter. 

“Like what you see?” He points out, all smug.

That fucker.

You slapped him playfully before you realised you were biting your lips. Yet, he still looks at you as if you were the one who hung the stars in the sky and shone in their place.

All of a sudden, his eyes turn mischievous and you find yourself in his arms as he leads you into the living room. He turns up the music, grabs the camera, puts on a pair of framed glasses and starts dancing. You joined him, because there is no world in which you wouldn’t follow Juyeon. You dance like you’re in a club, grab the wine bottle and shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Juyeon films you through the mirror and you play along, you’re the model, he’s the artist. Until he puts the camera in a corner to film the both of you and starts to dance an old choreo that you both did. You smile broadly and the night goes by like this. In between drinking and dancing.

At some point, you find yourselves taking a stroll, jumping and dancing around poles. Oh, but you’re not drunk! Juyeon took out his camera and kept filming you, laughing. The man was hyping you up, the street was your runway! And even though it was a little embarrassing, you had a lot of fun. Trust Juyeon to make you feel the best!

Around midnight, you were eating ice cream in the nearest park when your phone screen lit up with a call.

Woo ☼.

Oh, no. You forgot to inform him you were going out with yesterday’s activities.

“Babyyyyy,” he whines, sounding tired, “where you aaaat.”

“At Juyeon’s, we-“ You’re cut off as Juyeon steals your phone, brushing against your hands a little too long.

“Sorry,” he hiccups, “is it all right if we keep each other company for the night? I can’t drive right now.” Juyeon tries to apologise but is cut short by Sunwoo.

“Had a fun night I see?”

You can feel his anger rising from the way his voice drops an octave. Sunwoo has always been jealous of Juyeon. When you got together, he was very insecure at first, knowing that you had a male best friend and seeing you spend so much time with him. It took some time, but the trust you’ve built up has overcome that awful feeling.

You still have to reassure him sometimes, and that’s okay because Juyeon is your best friend and Sunwoo is your boyfriend. You love them both in different ways. You talked about it with Juyeon and later he got jealous because you spent all your time with Sunwoo on your trip to comfort him. It wasn’t easy, but they learnt to trust you. Along the way, you may have convinced yourself that everything would be fine.

“Sunny, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you. I will sleep at Juyeon’s and be back first thing in the morning before you wake up,” you say in a soft voice, trying to soothe him.

“I’m sorry too,” he voices out, letting out a breath lost in his own emotions, “I panicked when I didn’t see you at home. But I’m glad you’re all right.”

“I know,” you sighed, glancing at Juyeon, “I’m in good hands, I promise.”

“Hurry back, I miss my goodnight kiss already.” He replies, seemingly content with the current arrangement.

“Will be there in no time,” you giggled.

“I love you,” he answers, a smile blooming in his voice.

“I love you too.”

He hangs up just as he called, smiley, which makes you beam in return. However, when you turn to face Juyeon he’s anything but smiling. In his frowning eyes you decipher a sombre mood. Something in complete contrast to the joy you shared tonight. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls it back before you can do so.

“We should head back, it’s getting late.” He says firmly.

Your heart breaks at his words. Without giving him a chance, you cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The hurt look in his eyes makes your heart swell. You scan him to see if he wants to answer, but he avoids you. You’re so close and yet so far away. You feel like throwing up, because your best friend never acted like this around you. He never once avoided you nor stopped talking to you. Thus, you did the only thing you can think of.

You hugged him, as tightly as you can.

You feel his heart pounding and wonder if it’s from the unknown emotions he’s carrying or from your physical touch. You put your hand on his broad chest to feel his heartbeat and plant a kiss on it to reassure him. It stirs something in Juyeon and he hugs you back so tightly you think you’ll lose your breath. He holds you in his arms for what seems like an eternity, your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But you don’t complain, you felt safe.

You stay there, in the warm embrace that contrasts with the cool of the night, squeezing him a little tighter when you hear passers-by whistling lovingly at you. When he lets go, you can see the faint pink colour that tints his cheeks, brought out by the street lights. But little did you know that you have the same colours on your face, if not stronger?

“You okay?” You ask as you rub small circles on his back.

“Yes I am,” he lies openly in a husky voice, “I’m okay.”

Juyeon is fucked. Completely screwed. He’s absolutely, unquestionably and sincerely in love with you.

He has been for quite some time, now that he thinks about it. But he never admitted it. That damned twist in his gut that never left his mind, he knows where it comes from now.

In order to cope with his newfound feelings he lets you use the bathroom first while he changes the sheets and tidies up the living room. He’s floating, not sure if he will ever get a wink of sleep. Especially if you both sleep in the same bed. Because to you, he’s just your best friend, the one you’ve slept with countless times. No strings attached.

He can’t imagine you in his arms, nor can he look forward to waking up by your side. You’re not his.

“Juyo?” Your tired voice echoes from the corridor. “C-Can I get some clothes?”

Oh. That doesn’t mean anything. You have always shared clothes. Then why was he so excited to see you in them? Right, because he’s madly in love with you and knows you will look ravishing in his big shirt. Also because sharing clothes is such an intimate thing couples do. If he lends you his current pyjamas because they have his scent on them, you couldn’t blame him. He’s just a man.

“Are you coming?” You inquire, walking towards him.

It’s worse than anything he’d ever imagined. The shirt is definitely too big for you going down one shoulder, showing the beginning of your chest and reaching halfway up your thighs. What’s more, your pretty thighs are covered by the shorts that rises up when you sit next to him. He looks away, embarrassed to be staring at you.

“I will sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me.”

“No way,” you retorted with little energy left, “your bed is big enough for both of us.”

He’s been acting strange today. First he was feeling all overconfident, then flirtatious, followed by anger, and now shyness and embarrassment. You take a piece of the blanket lying on his lap and you stretch your legs out on the sofa, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Sleep can wait, Juyeon can’t.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me.” You ask, breathing softly into his ear.

“No,” he shudders, with a faraway look in his eyes, “I’m not okay and I don’t know how to get through this.”

“What’s wrong Juyo? Do you want to talk about it?” You pause to gauge his reaction. “Is it about your ex?”

“More or less,” he breathes out. “The breakup wasn’t that bad, like I said, it was a mutual decision. It’s just- when you started dating Sunwoo I was so happy for you, happy that you found someone who was worthy of your love and loved you the right way. And I thought I would be happy if I found that special someone, I longed for it. But I ended up in different relationships throughout the year, never lasting more than two months. And that’s ok, maybe they weren’t the right person for me, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe this, maybe that. I really thought I was going to be happy and I ended up getting my heart broken every time. As much as I believe now that I don’t deserve to be loved. I think I went into my last relationship in that state of mind, and I think she felt it too. Hard not to, is it? We had long talks and great times together; I think I really liked her. And I know she liked me back, I’m just not ready to be in an exclusive relationship right now.”

And everything he said is true, he’s more than happy for you and he thought he would be happy. But he can’t be happy in a relationship that isn’t with you.

“There’s also something I’ve never told you,” he continues, sniggering at the absurdity of his reasoning. “Something I should have told you a long time ago, it doesn’t make me proud, and it sort of reflects why my love life was so messed up. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but it played a big part in my mental health.”

You want to cry so badly, he has endured it all alone and it must have weighed heavily on him. At this point, you’re just waiting to speak and respond but every word that comes out of his beautiful mouth leaves you speechless. You’re such a bad friend that you’ve never noticed the way his eyes get dark and gloomy, or how he cancels your plans at the last minute because he’s got something else planned. When in fact it was sadness overload. Sure everyone has their own coping mechanisms, you wish you could have been there for him, but here you were Juyeon letting you in and you’re here to stay.

“It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with burnout and stopped working. It started off as something mild when I came home more exhausted than usual. I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep but then I started to feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. It was hard to concentrate on my daily tasks and you know how much I love my job? I felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t even have fun doing what I love. Going out with you, my friends or my ex felt great, but I wasn’t as invested as I used to be.” He pauses to catch his breath and swallow back the tears.

“Don’t get me wrong, today was absolutely perfect and I was hyped, I still am. Today felt like going back to when we were sixteen and I loved it. I’m actually starting to feel better. The break up helped a lot because it was taking a toll on my mental health. I know I said I liked her and I did, but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. Even when she was riding me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“And it hurts that I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it because I was afraid of how you would react. Like, hello, I’m taking a break from work because I feel like shit? And I would really like to get your approval so that I can move on. Because you mean everything to me,” he ends shyly.

“Juyeon,” you say in a soft and caring voice, “you mean the world to me too.”

You continued. “You mean the whole world to me and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I could come up with something, but it wouldn’t make up for what you’ve been through. You are strong, stronger than anyone. It’s so hard to keep your head above water that I’m proud of you for speaking up and even stopping work. Because focusing on your health is the most important thing. Situation and money may go but I will always stay. I’m so proud of you, proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. You’ll never stop growing and I’ll be there every step of the way, watching you blossom and be happy.”

“And I know you feel like you’ll never be happy,” you resumed, holding his hand. “The only thing I can say is, as hard as it seems, everything you live makes you stronger. Even more beautiful. There’s someone in this world waiting patiently for you, to love you properly, to make you feel loved and wanted. You’re an exceptional person, Juyeon. By that I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty, you give your total support and care, you show up when something’s wrong and I bet you’re an even more protective lover. We did everything together, cried, laughed, smiled, loved. My youth was filled with you and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t happy because you were and are always by my side.”

“Today was the best time I’ve had in weeks, and that’s because I am with you. We danced, a lot. And you know how dancing has always been our escape,” you paused as you saw the first hint of a smile creep across his face as you continued. “I saw your smile, it was genuine and you were so beautiful. It may have been hard, you’ve been hard on yourself, but today the man I saw was happy. I’m happy because you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad. We are one Juyeon, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”

Long before you have finished speaking, he has taken you in his arms. His embrace is not heavy, but you can feel the weight on his shoulders lighten. You have so many feelings for him, they all blend together and you don’t seem to feel the butterflies in your stomach or the fire he has lit in your heart.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he confesses.

“And what would I be without you?”

Your head rests on his chest and he’s suddenly afraid you can hear his heart beating. You’re so beautiful, your tired eyes fighting sleep and your lashes fluttering. His shirt slipped off your shoulder as he held you in his arms and the permanent smile on your face makes him completely weak. He could kiss you right now. If only you were single.

“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” He caresses your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Together?” You cracked yet another smile.

“Together,” he grins from ear to ear.

Your arms find their way around his neck and you bend your head to make an implicit request. His hands go around your waist and below your knees before he stands up and carries you bridal style. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but also blushed at the romantic gesture. He sets you down on (what his brain calls) your side of the bed and plants a kiss on your forehead.

He then goes through his nightly routine before coming back to you, wrapped in the covers, fast asleep. His heart is about to explode. Now that he is aware of his feelings, he is overwhelmed by the love he has been repressing. He slides in next to you and holds back from embracing you. And if you happen to get close and make your way into his arms, he’ll be delighted to hold you tight.

“Sleep well Starlight, I love you,” he mumbles, kissing your hair.

“I love you more Juyo.”

Waking up the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Juyeon might have thought after the pseudo-confession you heard. He woke up first when he felt you shift in his arms. Because yes, you ended up in his arms, face against his torso. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, calming his breathing and enjoying the warmth of your body. Absentmindedly, his hand caresses your tangled hair, smoothing it and slowly waking you from your slumber.

“Good morning Starlight,” he says, honey dripping from his hoarse voice. “Slept well?”

“Like a baby, you?” You yawned, looking up from his chest.

“Even better than a baby.” He doesn’t want to let you go, once you’re out of his bedroom he’ll have to go back to his little miserable life without your starlight to light it up.

“Shall we take you home? Your boyfriend might get impatient,” he laughs, remembering the events of the previous night.

“Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m full from breakfast! I know someone who makes pancakes to die for,” you winked as you get out of his clothes and disappear into the bathroom.

You know you said you’d be back before he wakes up, and you want to. You miss him. But being in Juyeon’s arms, feeling the regular beat of his heart, makes you feel at home. You don’t want to end what you both have now.

You eat breakfast in relatively silence, except when Juyeon tries to flip the pancakes in the frying pan only to have one stick to the wall. And you watch him adoringly from where you sit, trying to make up for his silliness.

In the end, you leave his apartment in no time at all, dreading your return to your own home. Even though you know that Sunwoo is patiently waiting for you. The last two days you spent with Juyeon were out of time, it was an enchanted interlude and the return to real life suddenly seems very difficult.

He drops you off in front of the building, not without kissing you on the cheek and saying goodbye for the last time. You try not to think of it as a date night as you head for the front door but he’s quick to say “We’re not done yet, you’ll see me more often now” he chimed as he watches you smile and gets in.

The smile doesn’t leave your face until you turn the key in the lock and come face to face with Sunwoo, smiling from head to toe. He takes you in his arms and spins you around before planting kisses all over your face.

“Sunny,” you giggled, “please.”

“But I missed you,” you press a kiss to his lips as he answers, and you feel him smile through it.

“I’m sorry I overreacted, you know I get scared easily, but I shouldn’t take it out on you when you haven’t done anything,” he apologised, bowing his head.

“No, it’s my fault too,” you shake your head. “We had a crazy night and when I woke up you were gone. I was also late and didn’t want to keep him waiting.”

“You know that I’m jealous of Juyeon, right? He might be your best friend, but he might see you as more than that. You can’t say you didn’t want him to wait, because what, you’re willing to make me wait like yesterday but not him? It’s unfair, because you always end up prioritising him.” He bellows, frustrated.

“Sunwoo please,” you begged. “Sunwoo, listen to me, please.” He takes a step back, feeling his anger rising.

“To say what? That you needed to be with him? That he needs you? Bullshit, look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t have feelings for you!” He shouts in a pissed off rage.

He goes back into the living room and you follow him to see him pacing back and forth. You can tell he’s furious. He always gets angry when you mention Juyeon and it pisses you off. You can’t even spend a day with your best friend because he gets jealous? You’ve been together long enough to think he’s finally understood that he’s the one you love. But as displeased as you are, you’ll never stop telling him and reminding him that you love him. Because couples fight, because he’s insecure and because you care.

“You might as well develop feelings for him!” He spits vociferously.

“He broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job,” you drop, tired of this pointless battle. “So yes, he needed me. And yes, I needed to be with him. I feel like an absolutely shitty friend because I’ve been sitting in his company for weeks and I didn’t even notice that his heart was being broken to pieces. You can shout at me as much as you want Sunwoo, but you’re the one I love. Juyeon may need me again in the future and I’ll be there for him, but at the end of the day I love you and only you.”

“You’re lying. T-There’s no way he…“ He tries to take your hand but you step back, annoyed.

“Have I ever lie to you, Sunwoo?”

The sheepish and upset look on his face is enough to tell you that he’s blaming himself. So you lead him over to the sofa and tell him everything, from the break-up to his exhaustion, which means burnout, but leave out the private details. It’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if he’ll ever believe you. Why would you lie about something so important?

You love Sunwoo, you really do. But you can’t help but be a little irritated by his behaviour. You feel terrible for even thinking and feeling this way, but Juyeon is your best friend! What was wrong with that? What doesn’t he understand about the word “best friend”? You sighed as you take him in your arms and stroke his back, both to calm him down and to ease your own mind. You hold each other for a while, for as long as your hearts desire, but your minds wander to Juyeon. You miss him and you wonder what he’s up to, when you’ll see each other again. Another sigh escapes your lips and Sunwoo looks at you questioningly.

“Movie?” You ask, trying to divert your attention from Juyeon.

“It’s 11,” he chuckles, finally at peace.

“Yeah, so? We can order pizzas and spend the day at home?” You kiss his hand with doe eyes.

“Sounds like a fabulous idea,” he quickly grabs his phone to place an order, “same as usual?”

“I’m feeling adventurous today, so pick whatever you like!”

You hear your own phone buzzing as he focuses on the app again. And obviously it’s the boy of all the arguments, the one who’s been on your mind since you got home and who seems to be distracting you a lot.

Juyo <3 (1)

I miss ya, whatcha doing?

Thinking about u

That ain’t possible

Whyyyy

Because I’m thinking about you

“Who are you talking to with that smiley face?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head.

“Changmin, he’s talking about the person he met and he seems so in love.”

It's a half-hearted lie, because Changmin told you about the person he recently met, but also because if you say Juyeon's name right now, civil war will break out.

Juyo <3

Oh yeah, prove it?

Seconds later, your phone rings with an incoming call from Juyeon.

Juyo <3

JUYEON YOU CAN’T DO THIS

YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Aw pretty’s scared by a sudden phone call?

Actually…

You take a second to answer, pondering if it’s a good idea to tell him about your couple’s conflict. Especially when he’s the one causing it.

Juyo <3 (1)

Am I disturbing you?

You always turn my world upside down

Same goes for you Starlight ;)

So?

I had a fight with Sunwoo

Nothing bad, we already made up

But it’s becoming a recurring thing, and I hate it

Have you talked about it?

That it’s getting hard for you?

Yes and no

We always talk about it, set limits and make up but weeks later it’s as if the conversation never happened

As much as I love him I’m tired Ju

No, you don’t have the right to say you’re tired, because that would mean you’re ready to give up on your relationship for a few fights?

I’m afraid that’s not a valid reason

And I know you’re not the type to give up on someone you love

So take matters into your own hands, spend the day with him and make out ffs

Yeah, haha, you’re right

We’ll eat pizzas and watch a film, that’ll definitely help

And I’ll see if he’s nice enough to make out with him

I can be good for you instead ;)

Yah! You’re losing points Lee Juyeon!

I’m only aiming for the 10s sorry!

Right in the bull’s eye

Which is my heart yes

GTG JUYO

TTYL I LOVE YOU

<3

And I love you more <3

You saw his message through the notification, which you cowardly rejected, but that didn’t stop you from smiling. The conversation had to end quickly, as you were venturing into uncharted territory that doesn't leave you impassive. Besides, Sunwoo was getting suspicious of your big smile.

And he’s right, because what the hell was that? You’re such a coward whose heart beats a hundred miles an hour. He’s definitely winning points, but you’ll never admit it, and to what end? Your heart doesn’t know yet.

On the contrary, Juyeon’s heart beats wildly at your bravery. He doesn’t want to flirt despite his growing feelings, but you leave the door open too wide for him not to come in.

You’re still his best friend, so if you ever need advice or a listening ear, he’ll be there. Like that horrible joke about making out, he hated it. But he knew that it would make you laugh and feel better, because he knows you better than anyone else.

So why can’t he read your feelings? You're not usually so cryptic for no reason, he's sure of that. Yet the changes in your heart can be seen gradually: your sweet words, as well as the ambiguous ones, all carry a special and deep meaning. You’re a book Juyeon is dying to read, but you’re not descriptive enough for him to decipher just yet.

Sunwoo used to read you easily, but he’s not sure of anything anymore. He knows that you love him, that your love language consists of words of affirmation and that you never stop reminding him of it. And yet his insecurities always get the best of him and you end up fighting. The truth is, he’s afraid. You’ve always spent a lot of time with Juyeon and that’s fair, you’ve known each other for almost ten years. But shouldn’t you make up for that time with your one-year boyfriend?

He knows he can’t restrict you or your outings, that would be a dick move and he’s not a dick. You have lots of boy friends and he’s okay with that, but Juyeon? Juyeon annoys him. He seems too perfect to be true:  his looks, his gentle and romantic nature. He’s in a one-sided competition because Juyeon couldn’t care less. Or so he thought until now.

Halfway through the film, you're cuddled up in his arms, laughing, when his phone vibrates. Why on earth is Juyeon texting him?

Juyeon (1)

I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. This is not a valid reason, but I wanted to keep my best friend to myself for a while. I’m sorry if that hurt you.

Apology accepted. We’re adults and you’re defo not the one to blame but I appreciate it.

Thanks man

It cost Juyeon a lot to send that message. But in his place, he would have been furious if the situation had happened to him. So he toned it down, to ease the tension and make you feel better. But he’d do it again any time; anything to spend time with you.

And that’s exactly what happened in the weeks that followed.

You spent the whole week with Sunwoo after your meeting with Juyeon, going with him to his band rehearsals, shopping for clothes, accessories or window shopping, going on dates to the cinema, the park and restaurants. You did everything with him.

But that didn’t stop you from texting Juyeon every day. Sometimes he was the one who initiated the conversation, and other times you had to spam him to ask his opinion on the latest clothes you bought or because you missed him. Your weekly outings have also become two or three times a week, and you often meet up on his balcony for a night of dancing and drinks.

Everything is done with respect for your relationship, but you feel his hands on you longer than necessary, always within limits and sometimes in places that make you blush. For an example, he would place them on your hips, and you would be a fool to say that his little touches did not make your heart flutter. When he opens the door for you, when he orders for you without asking and never makes a mistake, or even when he gives you presents that you’ve looked at with envy. He’s so observant and attentive that causes butterflies in your stomach. The more time you spend with him, the more you can’t deny the attraction you feel.

He makes you feel like you are 16 again.

He kisses your forehead, cheek or hand when he drops you off. He holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd. Even if it’s just an excuse, you let him because deep down you want him to.

And you hated yourself for it. You feel so guilty about Sunwoo. Yes, Juyeon may be a little more enterprising than usual, but he hasn’t changed his ways. You’re the one who reacts to harmless words and lazy touches. But your heart hasn’t changed. You love Sunwoo. Those feelings for Juyeon aren’t real. It is an attraction that arises because you spend all your time together, because he’s handsome and cares for you.

You’re not… in love with him.

Isn’t that right?

“Sweetheart, I bought fried chicken on the way home!” Sunwoo says one day after his rehearsal.

“Oh Sunny, you don’t know how much I’ve been craving it,” you clap, looking forward to devouring it. “Thank you.”

“Can I get a hug for being the most awesome boyfriend ever?” He asks sweetly.

“Oh you do,” you giggle, jumping into his arms.

“I love you,” he kisses your nose.

“Me too,” you reply, tiptoeing to kiss his forehead.

“Sunnyyyy,” you call out his name on a Friday afternoon. “Can I go out for the night with Kev, Minnie, Chani and Ju?”

“Sure! Don’t come back too late hm? And be careful.”

“Yes! I’ve got the four horsemen of the apocalypse to look after me and myself!” You laughed.

“Have fun Sweetheart, I love you,” he whispers, kissing your forehead.

“Me toooo Sunny,” you smiled.

And yet, as he does his best to be there for you, to shower you with love and care, you notice that your interactions are gradually diminishing. He’s not the problem but you are. Just like yesterday, you’ve been exchanging messages and at the end of all your conversations you have this cute habit of saying I love you. Except this time, you haven’t replied. You liked his message and replied with a heart.

But that’s not the only case, because you catch yourself not saying “I love you” back when you talk to him. Yet you’re still physically and intimately close. It’s as if you’re giving yourself to him in order to compensate for the emotional changes that you’re going through. And then what? You won’t even be able to kiss him? Hold his hand? Be intimate? You felt terrible, and this has been going on for months.

Perhaps the best (or worst) thing to do is to talk to him about it.

“Sunny? Can we talk?” You say out of the blue one morning.

“Yes baby, tell me?” He replies as he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless.

“Get dressed first,” you giggle.

“Why, don’t you like what you see?” He pouts, crossing his arms to emphasise his torso and you look away, ashamed to be turned on when you’re about to break his heart.

“Oh I do, but you’re distracting me from the point!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs as he pulls on a t-shirt, “is it better now?”

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh.

“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, sensing your discomfort. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”

“Sunwoo, I-“ you take his hand in yours for support. “You need to know that I love you, it has never changed and it will never change, the feelings I have for you are very much real and I cherish them as much as I cherish you.”

“You’re not breaking up, are you? Because I won’t let you.” His eyes are shining now and you want to go back in time. You want to erase everything that has happened in the last two and a half months, the growing romantic feelings and the hurt.

“Sunwoo, I’m not breaking up with you, you’re the person I care about the most in the world, I would never let you down. And I hate myself for what I’m about to say.” You take a deep breath and as you do you know he’s figured it out and tears start to roll down his sweet face.

“I- fell in love with Juyeon,” you drop your head in shame.

You don't have the courage to look up and see the disappointment on his face, but you force yourself to. And when you finally did, his reaction catches you by surprise. It was obviously pain and sorrow, but also resilience?

“May I ask, how?” His voice is low, almost a murmur, but his eyes search yours for the truth.

“I- don’t know, it just happened.”

“Come on, you don’t just fall in love with another man by accident,” he laughs sarcastically.

“And yet I did!” You raise your voice in annoyance. “I didn’t choose it Sunwoo. And I would go back in time if I could!”

He takes a minute to consider your words, to decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You didn’t expect this conversation to be easy, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you. You expected him to be in denial, to yell at you and cry. Instead he went straight towards the acceptance stage and he had this heartless look on his face. You knew you deserved it because he’s right; you don’t fall in love with another man by chance.

“Does he know? That you-“ he struggles to find the words, but you let him, because it has been hard for you too. You’re in love with your best friend, and you’ve probably been in love with him since you were 16. “That you love him?”

“No, oh god no!” You panic, finally thinking of the consequences, “I wanted to tell you first because I love you and I owe you the truth.”

“But you intend to tell him?” He worries and suddenly you feel like you’re talking to your best friend, the same conversation you had before you started dating Sunwoo.

“No Sunwoo, it was never a question of telling him or not. Yes, I love Juyeon romantically, but you’re my boyfriend. And I’m not trying to fool myself by saying that I still love you, I love you. And I love Juyeon too, but I’m not going to do anything with it.”

“You’re silly,” he chuckles affectionately. “Within the two months since our fight, I’ve watched you for a long time baby. I observed your body movements, your facial expressions and your words, hoping that it was all temporary and that we’d come out of it stronger together. But all I saw was love, but towards someone else. You came home giddy, eyes full of stars. Sometimes even in a frenzy of exaltation from which I found it hard to pull you out, because knowing that you were happy made me happy. So I won’t say that I knew it, but I sensed it. And I know that you love me, I have never doubted it and I don’t doubt it now. But you love him silly. Perhaps even more than you love me. I’m not mad at you, I saw you falling for him, I just ignored the signs. And I know you didn’t choose it, nor did you want to break my heart. Your love for him is stronger and I can hear it. Thank you for telling me, it must have cost you a lot.”

You start to cry, because what else can you do but cry? You love him and it hurts you to hear him say that you love someone stronger. But he’s right. No matter how much you try to deny it, you love Juyeon unconditionally.

“Why,” you cry out.

“Why what baby,” he takes you in his arms, guiding your head in the crook of his neck and your tears start to soak his t-shirt.

“I’m pretty sure I broke your heart and stomped on it, so why aren’t you mad at me? Why are you taking it so well? I don’t understand. I feel like shit and you’re too perfect?”

“You have no idea of the pain, anger and emptiness I feel right now, I’m far from perfect,” his voice falters as he tries to hold back his tears, “but I can’t take it out on you, even though you deserve it, because you didn’t want it? Also because I didn’t speak when I realised you were drifting away. I know you blame yourself, and yes, I am heartbroken, I can’t wait to cry but I don’t want to make you sadder than you already are.”

“I don’t deserve you Sunny, I’m sorry, I love you to the moon and back,” you smile shyly.

“And I love you just as much, thank you for the love that doesn’t make me feel lonely,” he smiles back as he rubs your back in slow motions. “Can I kiss you? One last time?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

When his lips touch yours, it has never felt better. The kiss is a little salty because you have both been crying, but also sweet. It is your last kiss and you devour each other’s lips as if it were the first, not wanting to part. You quickly run out of air, but he presses his lips to yours to convey his feelings one last time and you smile, knowingly, as you kiss him back.

“You should go to him,” he says, lips swollen and eyes puffy.

“Yes, to be with my best friend. And you should call Eric for the same reason,” you sobbed, and he giggles.

“Coward,” he laughs, “but I will.”

“And Sunwoo,” you start again. “I would never do anything without your approval.”

“Thank you,” he replies, touched and aware of the feelings you will always have for him. “For everything, but especially for being with me.”

“I should be the one thanking you, my lifesaver,” you kissed his cheek as you take his hand in yours. “Let’s remain good friends, in the future.”

“Absolutely, if I ever get over you,” he laughs in a reassuring way.

You know that the joke is just his way of breaking the tension, so you laugh it off, saying that he should, and you imitated a knife at your throat as a warning, which makes him laugh heartily. Then, your heart sinks at the sound of you no longer being the recipient. Yes you fell in love with someone else, and it will be just as hard to get over him. But you have Juyeon, and he’s your rock.

Juyo <3

Juyo can I come over?

Sure, is something wrong?

These three words are enough to turn your heart upside down. He’s always been thoughtful, and now that you’ve accepted your feelings, you feel butterflies swirling in your tummy.

Juyo <3

Sunwoo and I broke up

I’ll pick you up in 5

Yes pls, drive safely

He pulls up in the parking lot exactly 5 minutes after his message, just like he said. You rush down the stairs, too eager to melt into his arms to wait for the lift. He doesn’t have time to get out of the car before you throw yourself on him, crying. Tears of separation and heartbreak, and tears of joy when you see him again because you know you love him.

“I’m here,” he whispers in a panicked voice, probably not expecting you so soon and in such a state. “I’m right here, let it out.”

And you do, the feelings you’ve been burying for 2 months are just waiting to be expressed. You cry until your body aches from lack of air and your eyes are dry. Finally, you shiver and regret having gone out so quickly without covering up. But Juyeon is just as quick to pull the jacket he was wearing over your shoulders and you hum happily as his scent washes over you.

“Let’s go home?” He caresses your hair tenderly.

You’re amazed that he doesn’t ask any questions, he just stands by you and supports you through this difficult ordeal that he knows only too well. And the truth is, he’s even sad for you. No matter how much he loves you, you’re the definition of love to him. For you to break up with Sunwoo, for whatever reason, doesn’t make any sense. It’s not his place to ask if you don’t tell him first, so he just holds your hand on the way back, and when he has to let go to change gear, he makes sure he puts it back on your thigh.

This makes you blush like a tomato, how dare he put his big hand on your thigh, almost completely covering it whole. You’re pretty sure your feelings are written all over your face, but he mistakes your blushing for embarrassment, when in fact it’s just romantic stimulation. You look up to see if his hand placement has any effect on him, only to find that he is blushing as well. Being as dense as he is, you mistook his shyness for embarrassment.

You two definitely make quite the pair.

“Make yourself at home Starlight,” he says as he opens the front door, never stopping to hold your hand.

You step inside as he tells you to and try to take off your shoes, planning to curl up on the sofa under the blanket while you wait for him and his hugs. But he had other ideas as he grabs your wrist to pull you closer, pinning you between him and the newly closed front door. Your surprise translates into a gasp that becomes a choke as he drops to one knee. Your heart pounds in your chest at the way he looks at you, worshipping you. Without warning, he bends down to untie your shoelaces, still smiling and even a little mischievous.

“What?” He smiles proudly. “Can’t I look after my Starlight?”

You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out, too surprised by his playful tone.

“Cat got your tongue?” He sticks out his tongue as he stands up.

“Yes, you got it!” You slap him gently as a reward for nervousness.

“Not in my mouth though…” He whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and that earns him another slap, only he steps back to avoid your blow and you stumble and fall on top of him.

“I guess it will be easier to carry you now,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

He puts his arms under your knees and around your waist and you squeal as he lifts you up, bridal style. This man will be the death of you. Oh, how you would kiss him if you weren’t so heartbroken and hadn’t just broken up. And he would kiss you just as much. You’re both madly in love and it shows.

He wraps you in a blanket as he lays you down on the sofa before kissing your forehead for the umpteenth time. Then he goes into the kitchen and fetches your favourite foods, drinks and desserts, which he sets out on the coffee table. You were surprised by the homemade dishes, as if he’d made them with a special purpose in mind. But he doesn’t say a word or make a comment, he just slips under your blanket when he’s done and hugs you, breathing in your scent.

You stay in each other’s arms for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying your hearts beating in unison. It feels heavenly, relaxing and you can almost feel yourself coming back to life. If Sunwoo was your lifesaver, Juyeon is your guardian angel. He is always looking out for you and giving you his utmost special care, just like right now, for no particular reason (even if there is one now).

He doesn’t pry, he just waits for you to speak while he grabs the remote to put on the latest show you’ve started together and feeds you. You’re quite grateful for the little comments he makes during the show, distracting you from the truth: the burning love you have for him that consumes you. In the end, you tell him that you still love Sunwoo, but that your recent incessant arguments have taken their toll on you.

That, against all odds, you’ve spilt up properly. And that it will be a while before you move on, but that the door is not closed. You made sure to emphasise this part, because what if there’s a small chance that Sunwoo was right and Juyeon is a fool in love with you? You’re not ready yet, but when the time comes, you want to confess your love to him and live out the childhood romance you’ve always dreamed of, until death do you part.

The next few of weeks passed in a blur, and you have basically settled into Juyeon’s apartment – going back and forth to your house to pick up your things and put them in his closets. Your shoes sits nicely in the new shoe rack he bought for you to go out together, and your toothbrush sits proudly next to Juyeon’s. You even have matching ones. Oh, and Juyeon can finally happily say that you’ve got your side of the bed, with your cute belongings on the bedside table and a picture of the two of you at 16 in a frame.

In fact, you slowly become a domestic couple-like going grocery shopping together and going on so-called dates. Life with Juyeon is easy. Whether you go out at dawn or dusk, he’s always with you, matching your pace and holding your hand from the streetlights to the dancing starlight. When you saw your hands touching and your steps overlapping, it reminds you of your first encounter and the fluttering of your heart. How you shyly looked at him, only to see him already looking at you lovingly, red on his cheeks. That cold winter you spent together was actually the warmest moment of Juyeon’s life, and that day might have been the day you hid a present for each other in your sleeve.

Even more slowly, your relationship with Juyeon develops as the months go by. It was hard not for it to blossom, considering the fact that you live together and that you absolutely do everything together, but it’s happening. Juyeon has started to walk around bare chest when he gets out of the shower and sometimes! He even goes to bed naked, with just his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips.

Of course, you get to snuggle up against his warm chest and cuddle to sleep. When it comes to sleeping, you don’t even try to fall asleep on your own side of the bed anymore because you always wake up in each other’s arms. You have definitely grown closer and closer in just a few months.

Your touches with one another have become more sensual and romantic and your words more flirtatious. You wear his clothes more often than usual, sometimes getting out of bed in just his t-shirt and underwear, awakening certain feelings within him. From time to time, he dares to put his hands under your (his) t-shirt and kiss your forehead tenderly, for lack of being able to kiss your lips sensually and make you his, right when you wake up.

“All pretty for me hm?” He said the first time you went to sleep in this garment. “You know I’m just a man.”

And if you sat on his hips to cuddle him afterwards, maybe the message got through. Maybe a little too much, given that a few minutes later he pretended to be in a hurry and the water ran for a long time. He’s just a man.

Yes, your man.

Another time, when you were out shopping at the mall, people addressed you as a couple and you didn’t mind, oh no. Perhaps it was the smiley eye contact you made, or the way he held you in his arms and you leaned into him, almost as if you were going to kiss, that gave it away. At least, that’s what gave Sunwoo, who was watching you nearby, the courage to send you a message.

Woo ☼ (1)

Hi, hello! I saw you at the mall with Juyeon, can we talk? I’m with Changmin, we can ditch them together?

Hi Sunny!!! Sure we can, the cafe nearby?

Juyeon was a little reluctant to leave you alone with Sunwoo due to the countless nights you spent crying and the difficulty you had opening up (not to mention your blossoming love for Juyeon) but he quickly gave up because he knew you wanted it and he was happy to spend time with Changmin. Juyeon is the love of your life and you can’t pretend that he isn’t anymore.

“Hi Sweetheart, I saw you left your shopping bags with your man,” he laughs and you kick him under the table so as not to draw attention to yourself.

“Stop that Kim Sunwoo!” You whine.

“Stop what? Calling you sweetheart or calling him your man?”

“Both!” You laugh embarrassed and shy.

“How are you?” He changes the subject after one last laugh and you’re happy to see that he hasn’t changed, he’s still as playful and lively as ever.

“I’m fine, nothing has really changed since our last messages. I told you I got my dream job, so Juyeon and I are treating ourselves with my first salary. Oh, and Juyeon has also found a new job he’s really enjoying. Hence, the reason why we’re out shopping.” You went on to rave about your everyday life, happy to share this new chapter with him, whom you still love very much, just not romantically anymore.

“You must love him a lot,” he says softly, almost as if he were muttering to himself. “It’s cute, you’re cute, I’m happy for you.” And you don’t answer, curious to hear what he’s going to say next.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past six months,” he begins. “Thank you for always reaching out to me and not ghosting me despite the break-up, it meant a lot to me. Being away from you has been hard. I will not lie. But it also taught me that I was too dependent on you and it felt great to spend time by myself and with our friends. I got news from them and saw that you were doing well, as anyone going through a break-up would be. And it made me realise that, if you were fine, I should be fine, even if it was just a facade, that somehow the sadness would pass.”

You nod to let him know you’re listening and that you’re on the same wavelength as him.

“And it did,” he whispers almost happily, as if the weight he was carrying close to his heart has been lifted. “I thought I would love you for the rest of my life, but then I met someone.” You gasp at his words and tear up a little.

“It came as a blessing, without me even looking for it, and I can say that I’m happy now. So when I saw you so happy on Juyeon’s arm, looking at him lovingly like he hung the stars in the sky I thought: “Ah, you’re really on cloud nine with him”. I shouldn’t hold you back from your happiness. You have my blessing, not that you need it but date him, kiss him, make love and live happily ever after.” To emphasise his words, he squeezes your hand which he has started to hold somewhere in his monologue, and kisses it.

You swear you didn’t want to cry, and Juyeon will probably be worried to see your swollen eyes, but how can you remain impassive in the face of so much love? It’s true, you held back and would have kissed Juyeon if it wasn’t for Sunwoo. But now you’ll both be happy.

You chatted for quite a while, enjoying your reunion as friends, learning more about the person he had met and ranting about your life with Juyeon, when he appeared before you with Changmin, impatient to get you back. You missed him. How did you manage to live without Juyeon so far? Ecstatic, you jump into his arms and bid your goodbyes promising to meet again soon. As you walk away, Juyeon’s phone beeps and he just shrugs at the message in his inbox with a smile. Then he ruffles your hair, earning a pout from you that he kisses away at the corner of your lips. You wonder what the message was, but the kiss is definitely more important.

Sunwoo (1)

I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s full of love. Give it a shot!

Yes, there will be many more kisses now.

And here you are today, on Juyeon’s couch, enjoying your home date for the tenth anniversary of your friendship, with Sunwoo’s blessing in the back of your mind. You spent the day cooking together, sweet and savoury, having fun with the shapes of the cakes and pizzas (hearts and dicks like the children you are), playing games, dancing and listening to music in a good-natured atmosphere.

Today’s a day to celebrate your friendship. Yes friendship, when all you want to do is kiss him senseless. Maybe confessing today is not such a bad idea. Especially when you see him coming out of the shower in all his glory, beads of water running down his naked torso, hair tousled and wet, tongue running over his lips sensuously as he looks you straight in the eye, ready to pounce on you. Oh, and, his cinnamoroll pyjama pants, low on his hips and revealing the Apollo belt of his abs, make you smile as much as it turns you on.

Juyeon takes his place between your legs, smiling, his hot muscular back resting on your chest as he lays his head back on your shoulder, dampening your matching melody pyjamas. He chuckles as he turns his head to see you gawping. His big veiny hand that had been squeezing your thigh flies to your cheek, turning your flushed face towards him so he can kiss the pout at the corner of your lips. His beautiful lips linger a little longer on your neck, but you welcome his touch with open arms and lean into his embrace.

His eyes are full of stars when he rises from your embrace to grab the remote and turn on your series. But he remains seated between your legs, unconsciously resting a hand on your knee to preserve the intimacy you’re so immersed in. You help him on with his t-shirt, not without kissing his shoulder first, making him shiver. And your hands take the opportunity to wander down his torso to his waist, making him smirk as well. You become more and more adventurous, he loves it and can’t wait to run his lips all over your body, discovering all of it.

You place a kiss on the crown on his hair and when you notice that it’s already dry, an idea crosses your mind. Juyeon’s focus is back on the show, so much so that he can barely feel your hands playing with his hair. You give him a rather pleasant massage, moving down to the small of his chest, across his neck and up into his hair, twisting it between your fingers.

“How does it feel?” You murmured in a hushed tone.

“Heavenly,” he moans.

The tension is palpable as you continue your services, your hearts beating wildly, almost as one. He takes one of your hands in his to kiss it, the attention making you blush, before replacing it in his hair and nodding for you to continue. So you undertake one of the most romantic acts of love in your eyes, braiding his hair. Strand by strand, your fingers caress the edges of his face. The braids come undone as quickly as they are made, but he smiles broadly as he touches them, feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating erratically.

“I could see our everyday life like this,” you whisper in his ear. “Together.”

Juyeon, who had been purring at your display of affection, becomes still when he hears your words. He slowly turns to face you with the most charming smile and tenderly takes your hand to place it on his chest, where his heart burns with love. The fire in his eyes burns inexorably, lighting up his already sunny face, unable to leave him. You’re captivated by this intensity and he doesn’t look away, also in love with your sparkling eyes, even when he reaches out to grab a little box that has always been right in front of your eyes. Yes, his love has always been on display. You were just too slow to catch on.

But you get it now. You’re two fools in love.

“You know how our youth is filled with each other’s names?” He says, voice a little hoarse and heart beating fast under your palm. “Well, my heart has never changed, I’ve always wanted to be with you. You are my breath of fresh air, the warmth that keeps me going through the winter, and the words I’m about to tell you will never melt away. My everything is all about you, it has always been about you.” He pauses to take a deep breath and kisses the palm of your hand, which he then links with his own, intertwining your fingers.

“I love you,” he sighs with love and happiness. “I love you so much that I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without even knowing it.” The flame of love he has carried all these years dances in his eyes, making him irresistible and captivating. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you wait for his question, palpitations he feels through your bound hands.

“Would you be mine?” His gaze, dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, is determined as he opens the velvet box to reveal two rings. Not just any rings, the matching promise rings to the bracelets you bought months ago. The ones on your wrists that you’ve never taken off.

As if on cue, as a sign of future commitment, he kisses your left ring finger and places the ring on your right with such tenderness that you almost cry. No, you’re pretty sure tears are rolling down your face because he puts his thumb under your eyes to gently wipe away the tears and kisses the salty drops that have run down your cheeks, close to your lips. With that, you mirror his actions by kissing the ring, his left ring finger and placing it on his right finger with a dazzling smile, as an unspeakable promise – that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.

“I have always been yours. I love you Juyeon, so much that I’m going crazy.”

Even now, after confessing his feelings and hearing yours, he remains respectful and lets you make the first move with a victorious smile. You grin, feeling the cool material of the ring on your cheek as he cups your face in his hand, reminding you that this is all real and that he loves you.

And he does.

So you finally lean in, closing the gap between you to rest your lips on his. It was meant to be a soft and quick peck, but he captures your body and deepens the kiss, years of longing and wanting not to be wasted, leaving you breathless. His lips search yours every time you pull away, not wanting to let go, intoxicated by your lips and this new closeness. If you spend the rest of the evening making out and exploring each other, no one will say a word. Not even your neighbours.

Ah, you’ve never been in love and wanted to be with anyone as much as you do with him, and this since you were 16.

[claireswhisperings]

birthday sex

paige bueckers x fem!reader

synopsis: why not treat your girl on her birthday?

warnings: NSFW! oral (p!receiving), tribbing, choking, praise

w/c: 2.4k

masterlist

the music is blasting through paige's speaker, and the laughs and giggles of the team fill your ears. in honour of paige's birthday, a much-needed night-in was proposed, and after a little bit of drinking, your girlfriend certainly feels celebrated. the girls all piled into her, jana, and allie's dorm earlier today, decorating the place, ordering in dinner, and enjoying their time together.

paige takes two shot glasses, and turns to you with a smile plastered across her flushed face. "bottoms up, come here." she hands you the shot, both of you grimacing when the liquor hits your tongues.

"happy birthday baby," you pull her in for a kiss, ignoring the teasing remarks of your teammates. she pulls away to kiss your forehead, and pull you in by the waist to rest her chin on your head, while you watch kk and morgan argue on live, while sarah serves as moderator.

"you know, allie and jana agreed you can have the dorm to yourself," you say, nodding towards the door. paige smiles down at you, asking, "and what do you have planned for us tonight?"

“a little something to treat my girl tonight,” you lean up to kiss her softly. “well then we’d better hurry up and get the place to ourselves,” she teases, deepening the kiss.

you laugh and shove her away slightly, pulling her back towards the girls so you two can say your goodbyes. "have fun!" allie lets out, hugging you both. "not too much please!" jana adds, cackling at the glare paige sends her.

after many goodbyes and happy birthday's from the team, you and paige usher everyone out of the dorm, and she promptly hurries you into her bedroom. her lips press onto yours with fervor, hands gripping your waist to press your body against her. your tongue slides into her mouth, earning you a small groan from paige.

your hands slip under her shirt, fingers rubbing softly at the bare skin as she flexes her stomach at the feeling. you deepen the kiss, and slide her shirt above her chest, momentarily disconnecting your lips from hers to let her take it off. she throws it on the floor, pausing to smile and admire the way your eyes rake over her arms and bare chest.

"knew you’d check me out," she says in a teasing tone. you roll your eyes at her words, allowing her to pull you onto the bed and into her lap. you pull her in for another kiss, fingers tangling in her hair as she lets out a small moan at the feeling.

"need this off of you," she mutters into the kiss, pulling at your shirt. before you can react, she's pulling it off of you, making quick work to remove your bra. her hands rub at your waist, lips pressing against yours where she whispers out, "been waiting all night for this."

her lips drag onto your jawline, sucking faint marks into your skin. you throw your head back slightly, enjoying the feeling of her lips against you, and her hands feeling up every part of you she can reach. the pads of her fingers massage your tits, and paige leans down to circle her tongue over one of your nipples as more moans fall from your lips.

you grind softly against her lap, revelling in her mouth as she switches tit, running her teeth over it for a second before wrapping her lips around your nipple. as good as that feels, tonight is about her, and all she can do is occupy herself with how you're feeling.

you push her shoulders back, stroking her cheek when she pouts up at you. "come on baby, tonight is about making you feel good," you move, allowing her to shift up a bit so she can be relaxed on the pillows, and climb back onto her torso. "and why can't i return the favour early?" she teases, fingers playing with the hem of your shorts.

"you're not convincing me of anything else bueckers," you lean in to kiss her once more, "tonight i need you to feel good." you feel her smile against your lips at your words, and her body fully relaxing under you.

you reach your hands in the band of her sweatpants, pulling them off along with her boxers, leaving your girl bare underneath you. her legs part underneath you, and you grind against her, the hem of your shorts brushing against her clit.

she's squirming under you, rotating her hips to match your movements. soft begs escape her lips, whining for you not to tease since it's her special birthday. your hand drifts down to her clit, softy rubbing circles, before moving down to tease her hole. she throws her head back in pleasure, becoming frustrated that you were still partially clothed.

"fuck, i need these shorts off of you too," she paws at them, a little too lost in the pleasure she's already feeling. you slide your shorts off quickly, throwing them to some corner of her room.

paige's eyes drag up and down your body, tilting her head to look up at you and leans up to pull you in for a soft kiss. "you're so beautiful, the best birthday gift i could get," the laugh she lets out trails off into a moan when you grind against her abs. she can feel how wet you are against her stomach, and flexes underneath you.

"lay back baby," you command against her lips. paige pushes her body back against the pillow, fingers trailing over your neck to push you further down her body. you leave hickeys as you continue downwards, stopping at her tits.

her nipples are perking up from her arousal, drawing your mouth to them as you tease her, drawing out frustrated moans from her lips. "baby no teasing, not tonight," she moans out, gasping slightly at the end of her sentence when your fingers tease her cunt.

"you have to tell me what you want, paige," your words send vibrations onto her nipple, and she arches her back into you. "fuck, i want your fingers, your mouth, anything. please," her moans are turning more breathless the more needy she becomes.

you smile against her tits, leaning up to press a kiss on her lips, before continuing your hickey attack on her chest and stomach, slowly making your way down to where she's begging you. she's so fucking wet after all your teasing, and you can't help but teasinly run your fingers up and down her slit. she clenches around nothing, anticipating the feeling of your fingers inside you.

"who got you this wet baby?" you can't resist hearing her words fall so quickly from her mouth. "you did, it's always you," her arm drapes across her eyes, and she arches her back when you blow air teasingly against her clit.

paige's thighs find their way around your shoulder, pushing you into her cunt. you allow her to do so, attaching your mouth to her clit. you eyes close when you finally taste her, letting out a moan that paige can feel vibrate against her. her hands fly down to your head, pushing you further into her.

her hips grind against your face, riding your tongue when you push it inside of her. her thighs close around your head, blocking out her sweet whimpers and praises. you wrap an arm around her thigh, teasing her clit with the tip of your finger, while you let her move your head, and ride her tongue just how she likes.

after all your previous teasing, she's already so close to cumming. when you slip your finger inside her, curling upwards with the movements of her hips, she speeds up the movements of her hips, begging you to add a second finger. your movements speed up the faster she rides your face, lips attaching to her clit.

she cums on your face with a cry of your name, loosening the grip she has on your head, and slowly relaxing her thighs when you coax her orgasm out of her. paige's head slumps backwards into the pillow, gasping out while she comes down. you press kisses to her thighs, slowly removing her fingers when she's done.

her body writhes under you when you climb back up to kiss her face, mumbling praises into every bit of skin you can reach. "you did so good baby, you think you can give me a few more?" you feel her nod against you at your words. "after that, i swear i'll take however many you'll give me," she laughs, stroking your cheek with her thumb, and pressing a kiss against your lips.

you move between her legs, parting them slightly to make room for you. she tenses when your stomach brushes against her cunt, letting you a small moan when you lift up her right leg, and push it against her chest. "you gonna ride me?" her lips curl into a smile when you lift your right leg to pay across her, hovering your pussy above hers.

she pulls your lips against hers, laughing slightly when you let out a "figured i'd give you a show tonight." you lean back, making eye contact with a slightly fucked-out paige, lowering yourself onto her pussy.

you both let out moans at the contact, the feelings of your clits bumping each other proving to be almost overstimulating. you grab onto her legs to stabilize yourself, grinding down against her even more, and you throw your head back. you'd been so wet all night seeing paige, and getting to taste her again, that the feeling of her wet cunt against yours nearly made you cum.

paige watches you from below, eyes trained on your mouth that's open slightly to let moans slip past your lips, all the way down to your bouncing tits in front of you. "you feel so good baby, so good on top of me," she moans out, hands reaching up to find their place on your tits, tugging at your nipples slightly.

the feeling draws your attention back on paige, nearly cumming when you see her face, tongue lolling out of her mouth slightly, her own tits bouncing with her thrusts. you remove one of your hands from her legs, wrapping your fingers around her throat for balance, and applying slight pressure.

she throws her head back, moaning out at the feeling, as her eyes glaze over slightly. "i'm so close baby, keep going," she groans when your fingers squeeze tighter. "fuck me too, i'm gonna cum on your pussy," your head rolls back, mouth hung open as you finally cum.

she grips your hips harshly when you cum, grinding down harder on her as she cums from the feeling. your orgasms wash over you both, and you let out cries of one another's names. your movements slow down as you both come back, eventually stopping.

paige feels the corners of her eyes well up with tears at the overcoming feeling of two intense orgasms, hands falling to stroke circles into her thighs to ground herself. you push the loose strands of hair back from her face, softly moving your thumbs across her cheeks to soothe her. "you doing okay baby?" you're out of breath by now, watching a satisfied smile spread across paige's lips.

"never been better, i promise," you wipe the tears from her eyes, manhandling her body so you're both laying down side by side, one leg swung over her waist. you hold her face in your hands, fingers pulling her closer to you as she moans against your lips. "do you have one more left in you?" you whisper against her mouth. "oh fuck yeah," she breathes out, pulling you in for a more desperate kiss.

you're both lazily kissing, basking in the aftermath of your orgasms. you can feel her grind into your thigh slightly, and you feel her push her thigh between your own. you're both letting out soft moans against each other's lips, sinking back into her comfortable sheets.

paige pushes her tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss as she holds your face. her hips move harder against your thigh, and you feel her moan out against your lips. "paige, hold on," you break the kiss to reach into her drawer and pull out her favourite bullet vibrator.

she lays back on her side, watching you turn it on and dip your hand under the bed sheets. you push her lips against yours, slowly rubbing the vibe on her clit in circular motions. she moans out at the feelings, grinding down onto it.

your motions are teasing, drawing out moans and whimpers from your girlfriend. "fuck i'm gonna cum soon, please don't stop," she whines out, hips writhing against the vibe as she moves more erratically. her moans are becoming more breathy as she gets closer to cumming, barely able to kiss back as her mouth opens slightly.

"please, please, i'm cumming i can't-" she cums before she can finish her sentence, a high pitched moan leaving your girl's mouth as she finally cums for the third time that night. you suck marks into her neck as she comes down, allowing her to collapse into her bed in relief. you toss the vibe beside you, reaching over to stroke her back in comfort.

"did so good paige, always do so good for me," you whisper in her ear, feeling her head rest fully onto your chest as her breathing slowly returns back to normal.

"could never have asked for a better birthday," she teases, kissing your cheek. "hmm next year, it'll be even better," you laugh, detangling your limbs so you can clean her up. you sanitize the vibe, placing it back in her drawer, and soaking a cloth with warm water to clean her up.

paige lets out soft moans when you clean her up, still very sensitive from her night. the exhaustion is getting to her, and by the time you finish up and get back into bed, she's mostly asleep. you pull her head into her chest, letting her rest her entire body weight on you.

you press kisses on her head, and whisper soft praises while kneading at her shoulders and back, relieving all the tension. she slumps into you, slowly relaxing into your arms. you think she's asleep, until she speaks up.

"on your birthday, you'll be getting even better treatment. i promise you that," her words are soft against your neck, a certain reminder that she'll keep her promise.

[frodo-a-gogo]

Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

[nuthong]

SPARE ME YOUR MERCY | EPISODE 8

[tordoise-x3]

I love you so much birkin sorry i made you more horrific

[clairesbeauchamp]

every breath, every hour has come to this (insp)

[enigma-von-obscurius]

PL requests: Claire and Emmy!

[coco--rock]

Claire pulling second shift

[robindaydream]

A Few Days After A SLARPG fancomic

minor SLARPG spoilers contained within

[star-ts-farts]

Damn bro you got the whole squad laughing

[kyaroscuro]

Fairytale Love

A fairytale love represents an unrealistic love in which people might fall in love at first sight or expect to live happily ever after. It's real though? That perfectly defines your relationship with Hyunjae.

pairing : boyfriend!hyunjae x gn!reader genre : established relationship, fluff, childhood bestfriends to lovers, proposal warnings : a bit suggestive? bc hyunjae is a menace but reader is as well, one curse word notes : it started from learning that hyunjae drives a mercedes (which is kinda hot to me) to just being whipped over the man! it's really all cute and i love it very much. enjoy!! words count : 2365

To say that today was an important day is an understatement. You have gone from childhood best friends to lovers to finally celebrating your fifth anniversary as a couple. It’s only fair that after spending your entire childhood together you now plan to grow old together.

Hyunjae is nothing but wild and mischievous and that’s what you like about him. The way he used to tease you in high school because he got better grades than you. Or the way he made fun of you at parties because you’re lightweight. Despite being the jokester, he’s always there for you. Sure, he scored higher on your last exam, but that’s only because you stayed up all night studying together. And whenever you got drunk at a party, he always made sure you got home safely, tucked into your bed with a kiss and a glass of water on the bedside table. He was always the sweetest. Not just to you, but especially with you. And you remember having the best time of your life with him. Sneaking out at night to go to the convenience store. Going to art exhibitions and laughing at how you could do the same, but still being in awe of the talent people have to create such works. Taking the silliest and cutest pictures together, trying all those trends like the couple picture where he had to pick you up only to fail miserably and laughing until you cried. The insecurities? The nights spent comforting each other and crying in each other’s arms from deadlines, exhaustion or heartbreak.

You can’t quite remember the moment you fell in love with him? Maybe it’s because you’ve always been in love with him, you just didn’t think your feelings were romantic until Eric called you out on it. You’ve been jealous before.

When you were 14, he came home with chocolates for valentine’s day and you were so pissed off that he accepted them. Shouldn’t he only accept your chocolates? It wasn’t fair! But on white day, he wrote you a sweet little letter, asking you to go on a picnic with him. Dressed in your prettiest outfit (maybe you wanted to look pretty for him, too, to impress him) you went to the meeting place to find him waiting for you with a bouquet of flowers, your favourite food and, of course, homemade chocolates. You weren’t so angry anymore.

You vaguely remember him telling you about his first kiss when he was 17. He had this huge crush on someone in his class and, as his best friend, you encouraged him to asked them out. When he called you later that night, you could feel the smile in his voice and that alone made your heart sink. But you eventually got over it when you started dating Sunwoo a few months later. Sunwoo was a breath of fresh air, he made you feel alive. You don’t regret dating him and you were really in love with him, you just happened to drift away when you couldn’t escape your feelings for Hyunjae. You’re still good friends and Hyunjae tends to be overprotective when you’re with him. Later in your relationship, Hyunjae told you that he was jealous of Sunwoo because he got all your firsts and saw you at your most vulnerable.

At 21, you were both single and not ready to get involved in another disastrous relationship. Hyunjae had started working as a banker, while your work at the dance studio took up all your time. Nevertheless, you decided to move in together, for the sake of convenience, friendship and bills. That’s when you met Eric and when things started to move.

“Sweetie, you don’t move in with your childhood bestie just because the rent is expensive and it’s close to your respective jobs,” he has said one Wednesday afternoon in between your dance classes.

“Doesn’t he need to pick you up every day too? Man, all he wants to do is show off his Mercedes and his girlfriend?” you would have slapped him for that.

“Really, think about it for more than two seconds. I know you’re in a kind of routine because you’ve known him all your life, but he’s more than your childhood friend, try to think of him as a man”

“I have seen the way he looks at you, I can tell he sees you as a person he wants to cherish and spend his life with, not as his friend. But again, if I’m wrong you can blame me for putting it in your head, and if I’m not… no need to thank me”

“You think so?” you replied after a while.

“You’ll still be best friends, it doesn’t change anything. I’m just saying he might want to kiss you too”

And true enough, you came home earlier that day, deep in your thought, not expecting to see his shoes at the door.

“Y-you’re home already?” he greeted you, stuttering. “You told me you had classes till 7”

“I gave them to Eric, wanted to think about something. But how come YOU’re already home?”

“Are you okay hon?”

Honey. Who calls their best friend a pet name? Isn’t it misleading?

“I’m fine, don’t worry. What have you been doing, it smells so good,” you said with a smile

“Oh, just dinner for us. Surprise, I guess?”

You were struck by the romantic setting of your apartment. Rose petals scattered on the table with a huge bouquet in the middle, dimly lit candles adding to the atmosphere and a gentle, relaxing breeze coming from the open balcony.

“I wanted my confession to be special,” he chuckles “but now that you’re here, I know that anything would have been fine since it’s you and me. And I want it to stay that way for a long time. I love you and if you allow me, I would like to be your partner”

“Idiot, we’re both idiots” you cried. “I’m yours Hyunjae, I always have been. I love you so much more”

Your first kiss was a little awkward but that’s ok because you’ve got a lifetime of kissing to do. You may have ruined his surprise, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, everything about you is spontaneous and beautiful, and this day was no different. In the end, you still can’t believe Eric was right.

So now, five years later, you’re getting ready to spend your anniversary in a fancy restaurant. You’ve travelled a long way to get here. And you wanted to make it even more memorable by proposing. Double check of your outfit : stunning make-up and hair, jewellery on top and accessories to match. The ring in your bag. Now all you have to do is look pretty and wait for your gorgeous boyfriend to arrive in his hot suit driving his even hotter Mercedes. You’re not one to brag about your possessions or hotness, but Hyunjae’s driving has always been a sight to behold. His habit of putting his left hand on your thigh, driving with the windows down and one hand on the wheel make you melt. Maybe you can just brag about that once in a while.

You hear the roar of his Mercedes engine from afar and you smile, knowing that soon he will come to the front door of your newly bought house and say “I’m home, love”. Then he will kiss you and ask you about your day. If he is tired, he will hug you a little tighter and longer, and if he has missed you a little too much, he will kiss you urgently even before taking off his shoes. You’re so used to the life you’ve built that you want your future to be exactly the same. With him. And children.

“I’m home, love!” There he goes.

“Finally! I missed you so much, I couldn’t stop thinking about being with you after you left”

The blush on his cheeks was even pinker than yours. And that has to do with the fact that you consumed your love this morning, as soon as you woke up.

“Baby, you don’t want to turn me on when our reservation is in half an hour, do you?”

“Oh, we did worse in less than thirty minutes when we were at my sister’s wedding,” you smirk

“Yes, we did, and I intend to take my time with you tonight. Let’s go hon”

After locking the door, he takes your hand in his to lead you to the passenger seat. Never one to disappoint a gentleman, he opens the door for you and makes sure you’re safely inside before closing it.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?”

“Mhhhh several times already, but go on, I don’t mind hearing it again”

The restaurant is about fifteen minutes from home, which gives you plenty of time to discuss trivial matters such as how has been work for him, whether his colleagues are being annoying again, whether his workload is ok and when he might take time off for holidays (implicitly, your honeymoon). You had more freedom at the dance academy, so you never had any problems arranging schedules. Like today, you took the day off to be ready on time and do some work around the house. But Hyunjae always insisted that you could do whatever you wanted, he was the first to believe in you when no one else would and when you opened the academy, he was the proudest man alive. And yes, he helped with the funding. The two of you complement each other perfectly.

“A reservation for two under the name of Lee Jaehyun”

“This way” the waitress leads you to a table overlooking the sea, which you swear has been decorated in the same way as Hyunjae’s first dinner for you after his confession.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” you don’t know if you said it to the waitress or to Hyunjae but you are in awe. Everything is perfect and you’re here with the love of your life to write a new page in your book.

“Have I told you how hot you are? I think it’s a crime to look so hot, even when you’re driving, I’m only human, you know? “

“I don’t think you ever have, but please tell me more often and maybe I’ll drive you more often if you like it so much”

“I like you,” you stick your tongue out at him and he rolls his eyes.

You eat in relative silence, if not for some jokes thrown haphazardly and quiet laughter as answers. You enjoy each other’s presence, bathing in the soft atmosphere given by the restaurant’s lights. You’re drawn to the sea; it looks calm and soothing, so you tell Hyunjae in between bites that you want to go there when you’re done eating. And this anniversary date couldn’t be more perfect. From starter to dessert everything was delicious, the kind of meal that satisfies the heart and mind. When you’re ready to leave, the waitress comes over to thank you. She also tells you how beautiful you are together; you radiate love and it’s hard not to notice how much you love each other. She wishes you all the best and you feel touched by her gesture. Hyunjae seems to feel the same way, as he bows one last time with a smile before taking you out.

“I can’t believe people see us like this,” he says once you’ve reached the beach

“Me neither, we’re so hopelessly in love with each other that we live in our own world and…”

“And people are happy to witness our happiness.”

“I think that is the greatest compliment anyone had ever paid me,” he nods and agrees

“Not even when I told you I loved your voice this morning?” you recall your morning escapade.

“Shut up,” you laugh and slap him

The two of you walk a little further along the fresh sand until you find a good spot to watch the sun set. It’s getting a bit cooler as it’s early april but Hyunjae’s arms find your shoulders to protect you from the cold breeze. You snuggle into his embrace, looking at his features more than the scenery. He’s really beautiful. And he’s yours. He grins when he feels your eyes on him.

“I know I am a whole landscape worthy of your attention but the sun is about to go down, baby”

You giggle again, so it’s time. Before you can get out of his arms, he puts his jacket over your shoulders and kisses you. Then you see the orange hue of the sky lighting up his beautiful eyes as he gets down on one knee. You gasp. He did not.

“Like I said five years ago, no matter what I’ve planned, no matter what time or situation we’re in, when it’s you and me nothing else matters. The sun is about to set, but my feelings for you are like a flame that that cannot be extinguished and that never stops growing. Maybe it's because of the fire you light in me every moment. I love you and I want to be the only one to love you for the rest of my life, for the rest of yours and for the rest of ours. Would you allow me to be your partner for life ? Would you marry me ?”

He did it. That idiot is smiling at you with bright eyes and a beautiful diamond ring in a velvet box. God you love him more than you’ve ever loved anyone.

“Idiot. I ruined your confession back then and you ruined my proposal today, now we’re even,” you can’t help the smile spreading across your face. “We’re both idiots in love, I love you and I’m still yours, will always be now”

It’s playful, the way you like it. In a way, he’s still your best friend, the best friend you’ll spend your life with. Except now, you kiss him more often, you get intimate and you will have children together. You love him so much, you could be living you own real fairy tale.

[beefycupcakes]

[claireswhisperings]

I just want your lips right between my hips

paige bueckers x fem!reader

synopsis: Just imagine tying Paige up and fucking yourself on a vibrator while she watches…begging to either touch you or get touched…could read as draft!Paige since she had that tie. 

warnings: smut

w/c: 1k

masterlist

Paige’s wrists are tied up above her head, binding her to her headboard as she watches your movements. Her hands flex as she pulls against her own tie keeping her constrained, something you’d both been eager to do all evening.

You circle your clit with the vibrator, lowering it slightly to tease your hole. You let out a breathless moan as your head rolls back from pleasure. Paige’s eyes are trained on how wet you are, leaking over the vibe and onto the bedsheets under you. 

“Please, come on, I need to touch you,” she pants out, eyes going glossy when you shake your head, ignoring her. 

Your legs spread farther, and Paige feels her clit throb between her own at the sounds of your pussy clenching around nothing. She lets out whines when she can’t undo the tie, head dropping back in frustration. 

Her eyes drift up to your tits, where your other hand is palming and pulling at your nipples as moans spill from your lips. You open your eyes, making eye contact with her when you push the tip of the vibe in your pussy, a drawn out moan of her name leaving your mouth. 

She clenches her thighs together, trying to ignore how hard her pussy’s throbbing for you, with her eyes unblinking and focused on only you and everything you’re doing. Your hips move in a circular motion, grinding down on the vibe, letting out moans of her name. 

“You know I’d make you feel so much better than that, please let me touch you” she’s desperate now, legs shaking without having even been touched. She’s getting off on your moans and movements, begging you to let her touch you. You roll your eyes at her words. She’d begged you to tie her up earlier tonight, and this is what she wanted after all. 

Your pussy clenches around nothing again, more arousal spilling out from your pussy. You let out a gasp when you feel it seep down your fingers, wetting them even more. Paige eyes your fingers, eyes flitting up to meet yours so you get what she needs.

You smile, lifting your fingers up to her mouth and slipping them in. Paige lets out a moan when she finally tastes you, letting her eyes roll back as she sucks on your fingers. Her tongue moves expertly around your fingers, and you slightly push them deeper down her throat. 

She goes a bit cross eyed, focusing on the feeling of your fingers and taste in her mouth. Her head dips forward, forcing your fingers further down her throat while she maintains eye contact. 

“That’s it, you can take it, can’t you?” she lets out another whine at your words, nodding her head. “Good girl.” Tears are gathering in the corners of her eyes as she grinds against the air, knowing it’s hopeless in making her feel any pleasure. 

You remove your fingers, almost missing the quiet and desperate “No!” that leaves her lips as you bring her spit soaked fingers down to your cunt, slowly pushing them inside you. Your hips move up and down as you ride your fingers, pressing and circling the vibe down onto your clit. 

She’s beyond frustrated and wet at this point, just needing your hands on her. She needs your mouth on her, needs to feel your fingers inside her, needs to feel you on top of her, needs to hear your praises in her ears. 

A wet patch has formed on the bed underneath your desperate girlfriend, the mark making you practically salivate. You throw your head back, whimpers flying out of your lips as you move your fingers inside you in a ‘come hither’ motion, pushing against the spot that has your legs squeezing shut. 

You cum with a cry of her lips, clenching your eyes shut as you feel your cum leaking down your thighs and onto her already ruined sheets. Paige throws her head back, the sounds of her name being yelled like that making her cum untouched, legs squeezing together as she lets out a broken whimper of your name. 

You slow the movements of the vibe, allowing yourself to come down. You glance at Paige, her head still resting against the pillow, neck fully exposed for you. You notice her cum leaking out of her pussy, and reach up to stroke her thighs in comfort.

Her eyes fly open, tears running down her flushed face. You toss the vibe off to the side, and climb on her lap to stroke her face. “You okay baby? That wasn’t too much?” your hands move to untie her wrists as she shakes her head no. 

Her wrists are red from her straining against her tie all night, and you press kisses on her skin, giving her a moment to catch her breath. She’s panting, still crying when you pull her in to kiss all over her face, mumbling praises into her skin.

“You took that so well, baby,” you emphasize each word with kisses on whatever part of her face you can reach. You pull back to see her perfect blue eyes staring at you, tears still shining in them. 

You lie down, manoeuvring her to lie on top of you, still massaging the skin of her wrists. Her breathing has returned to her usual calm beat, tears drying up. Her head rests against your chest, before she sits up to press her lips to yours, mutters of “I love you,” escaping. 

She sits up next to you, propping herself up on her elbow to look at you lying down. Your fingers play with the strands of her hair that are hanging over you, tucking them behind her ear and stroking her cheek.

“Never knew you could cum just from watching me,” you’re cocky right now, pleased with how she reacts to just watching you. You watch her face turn a bright red shade as she sucks on her teeth and lets out, “Yeah yeah, don’t gotta say that you know.”

“Just thought you’d want the reminder,” it’s your turn to prop yourself on your elbow, pressing a kiss on her lips, moaning into it when you feel her tongue slide into your mouth. 

[gloopglorpgleeroopuh]

PEAK childhood show

[tappioca]

city of darkness and blood

happy cleonween or smth iunno

[tordoise-x3]

Just my drawigs from today cuz I haven’t been finishing anything 😞