#claire's grief | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psychelis-new · 1 year ago

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pick a pile: "How can you deal with your regrets"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find out about possible regrets you may have in your life and a suggestion on how to deal with them. regrets are part of life, it's okay to have them here and there for various reasons but it's not okay when you let them dictate your life in a negative way. this reading wants to provide you help in how to see them differently. thanks Anon for requesting about this subject.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3

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pile 1

It's hard to say something about your regrets. Maybe you don't have many or even if you have, you learned how to deal with them by yourself. Or maybe you just try to not think about them or don't see them to start with. You may be trying to avoid working on them just by refusing to acknowledge them. As I said it's either you don't let them interfere in your life as you know we may end up having regrets here and there in our life or you totally try to not think about them cause of the pain they may cause you. You let them hang somewhere and wait for that feeling to disappear by itself. Or maybe you were told/taught to behave like that.

Anyway, I don't sense you stressing over them. Regrets happen in the past but you're pretty much future-oriented, so it gets easy for you to switch your focus on what's ahead much more than on your past. But what you may not be aware of, is that you can learn from your past too. Even from the pain that lives in there, but doesn't belong to your present or future: it's something you can do to help yourself leave that pain in the past where it has to be in a more definitive way. Trying to acknowledge your feelings, whether they're good or bad, positive or negative, it's good to help yourself grow and move on definitely. By not letting yourself taking care of your feelings and emotions, you're neglecting yourself a part of your life experience, a chance for you to know yourself and what's around you in a better way. It's not wrong per se, but it could help you: it may not be your case ofc, as we're all different, but what I learned myself is that no matter how hard you try to push them away, lessons will come around more than once until you acknowledge them and your feelings about them. So I generally try to deal with all that asap. Maybe not when I am overwhelmed or not feeling like, but I try to come around the issue again and understand/welcome it, and how I feel about it. Ofc if you feel that it's useless to you, keep doing what you do: you're always in charge of the decisions in your life. But if you find yourself in some type of cycle that keeps reminding you about the same situation or feeling, it may be worth to stop for a moment and give it attention. Remind yourself you don't have to deal with it by yourself, you can talk about it and ask for help, if it's too much. It doesn't seem like you are too stressed about it anyway, but just in case... You are allowed to take care of yourself and your feelings, to nurture yourself, even if you were told it's useless to cry on spilled milk and you need to turn the page asap. At times our feelings and minds do not really want to collaborate on that so they keep coming back to that past thing... that's cause they need true closure, and you can give it to them by giving yourself time, compassion and stopping to deal with what has been and the feelings it caused you. It's not useless, if it's important to you (and you can get it is important from how much often it's coming around in your life).

You may also be regretting not having told or done something for someone and now it's too late (most likely cause they're not in your life/3d anymore). Therefore to you it's useless to think about it and those feelings: there's no solution. You cannot contact them for whatever reason; you just didn't do/say that thing you wanted to say and now it's too late. But tbh there's still something you can do about it. You don't need to talk with the other person to bring yourself closure. You can do it yourself by accepting your past, your feelings and taking time to work through them and your decisions: maybe you have a valid point of view about what happened, about you not being able to really communicate what you wanted, despite it all. Be objective. Also, remember that at times we take some things for granted and we may not talk about our feelings with others when we have time, thinking they know what we mean and that's enough (and it's very often true that they know, but it's also good to hear/be openly reminded about them anyway). This situation can help you realize what you can do it from now on. And it doesn't mean you did bad in the past, at all (forgive yourself when you can). But you can act differently from now on. You can share your feelings even if you were not taught (how) to. Do it your way, it'll be okay anyway. And you know, you can still reach for departed people through your prayers: ask your Guides or the Universe to bring them a symbol or a message. The same way departed souls may come around in other forms (butterflies, for example) to bring us comfort, so we can reach for them too. Take a moment to close your eyes, meditate and tell them whatever you want to tell them. They will listen. Chances are, they're still around you, guiding you.

You may even get dreams about this situation tbh, and you may be getting more after energetically reaching for this person/these people as a sign they got your message (not necessarily through dreams ofc, but you'll get to know). BTW journaling about your situation and feelings can be of help too.

song: tout l'univers | gjon's tears

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pile 2

These are regrets that mostly refer to yourself, as for example something you decided about your life and how you deal with it. For example you may have been wrong about something or you probably made what turned out to be a wrong/rushed decision and it still somewhat haunts you until now (it may even make you worry about repeating it). Maybe it created a bad environment or period in your life or you blame that moment/event for a kinda tough current situation you're being put through (or you just came out of). It could also be something involving your relationships still haunting you from there. Something you're still healing somehow. Something you fear being judged for (but I feel it's more one of your fears than the reality of things, at least for most of you -remember if anyone judges you, it's mostly cause of their own triggers).

Whatever it is, at that time you didn't know what you know now, so trying to judge your past self through the eyes of your present self doesn't make much sense: you learned something also thanks to that decision/situation and from making that decision, no matter what happened next (I know it got tough but that's not what you should focus on the most in order to deal with your regret in a more positive way). You learned something about yourself and about consequences of actions. And you made that decision cause you didn't know any better probably, or cause you just felt like it was okay or it would have been fine for you. Trust yourself and the fact that you learned your lesson now: you won't repeat the same mistake or make a similar one if you'll find yourself in a similar situation. You have the ability to make a different decision and see things from a different perspective now, and still make a decision for your best (surely also that decision you made was for your best in the end, or you thought so: but it was "your best" for your past self. Your present self has changed and grown, even if you're not entirely aware, and it probably needs a different type of "best" from yourself. And trust that you can give it to yourself and it won't be wrong/bad. Honestly, it's never wrong if you decide to do something with pure intentions, no matter how it turns out to be in the future: you never know how things and you will change if you don't try or make experiences. And please do not consider it/yourself as a failure and don't be scared of failing again: the only ones who never fail are the ones who never do anything. But we're not here for that, we're here to try and make experiences, of any type. Even those that are hard and difficult. And we can learn to grow from them and how to deal with them by forgiving ourselves too). Hating yourself or talking bad with yourself for what has happened won't make things better. What has been cannot be changed but you can change how to look at it, and at your past self: be more compassionate, you were also younger and missing experience (even if it was 3 days ago): I know it's painful now but you didn't know any better. And even if you did, still focusing on that "mistake" won't change your present. Take your time but try to make the best of it by seeing it (and your past self, mostly) from a different point of view. A kinder, more accepting one.

Random message but I have to say it as it may resonate for someone: it may feel lonely and different where you're going now, but it's gonna surprise you by being easier on you, and making things easier. Try to be easy with yourself too. Let others in with no fear. Reach for them too. You're already perfect.

song: kiss me more | doja cat, sza

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pile 3

These are regrets involving other people. Differently from pile 2, the focus here is on them the most and how they perceived your decisions/behaviours (but if you feel called to take a look at that pile too, do it). You probably didn't mention something like your reasons or your fears to them, and things kinda crumbled from there. Maybe you didn't feel like it was necessary to explain your behaviour or decisions, or you didn't feel safe enough with them. Or you didn't think about it. Maybe you were just trying to protect yourself (let's make an example: you were prolly dealing with a tough home-environment differently from your friends and you kinda started saying many no's to their invitations in fear of having to deal with overreactions at home, and kinda got left out by your friends). You may also have not been able to confess to someone about your feelings (good or bad), or you said/did something that was too much (like you did confess but the other person didn't welcome it well or didn't tell you anything/ghosted you, or you kinda tried some big gesture that wasn't well accepted...). You may also have embarassed yourself (or fear you did that) in front of people, even someone you cared and feel like you ruined all your chances with them (whether they were your crush or just potential friends) or you made someone change their mind about you (also authority figures, eg. professors/relatives) out of a random decision/act. I see these as main situations: like it could be that you're not able to deal with your emotions at times (you weren't taught how to) or don't get them, and/or you struggle to express them properly and act on impulses that not always are clear to others (nor to yourself). Generally, it's something coming from a place of hurt/trauma you need to heal.

I do feel it's mostly your anxiety when it comes to what others think about you, but even if you have proofs about this being real and you having ruined/lost your chances for something or having been let down by people, what I am called to tell you is similar to what I told pile 2: past cannot be changed and whatever made you do or say what you did or said, it... happened. For as hard as it is to bear with now, it happened and nobody can undo things sadly. Take your time to collect your thoughts about it, to understand your reasons and even see things from a different perspective: maybe you're focusing more on how others reacted to you but you cannot control that anyway. Check within about yourself now, how do YOU feel about it, find your own reasons, find the root cause that made you act like that: was it self defense, was it external validation seeking, was it just need to be seen/loved at last, was it just a random/rushed decision dictated maybe by some unmet needs that you needed to give yourself/someone to meet asap (but you didn't know how to and just tried maybe not thinking about the other or possible consequences), was it really that you didn't understand/know what to do with your emotions and just "had to" do something?... Once you get this, you can also try also to understand why the other may have reacted as they did, so to understand more about your behaviour: how would have you reacted if you were them and they did/said what you did/said to them? Sure, we're all different and may react in different ways also cause of our own life experiences and possible personal triggers, but it's still a good way to try and learn how to make things better for you. And heal yourself. So, one way you can deal with your regret is trying to understand what brought you to this situation (through the questions mentioned above, too) and how you can bring yourself closure to it. Don't let the noise inside of your mind (that voice that is pretending to sound so annoyed or shocked by your behaviour as if it came from those other people judging you) switch your focus on the wrong object. People judge us based on their own triggers, don't mind them. And don't mind that voice as it doesn't really know. Take this chance to find out more about yourself and heal yourself from your fears and wounds.

And if you need, you can reach for those people and talk about what happened/explain your feelings and ask for theirs (eg. be sorry if you offended them...). Just don't over-explain yourself nor overdo things or you will obtain the opposite reaction (a.k.a. not a clarification but them closing off from you more directly). Also, it's not always worth to reach for people we may have bothered (even unwillingly) and clarify ourselves: at times, we just need to take a step back from them and what happened, and start walking on a different path with a new lesson learned. And some new hints on our healing journey and how to proceed on it.

songs: say it again | precious