#ckneal

[jumptheshark]

The Ghoul pretending to be Michael in front of Sam and Dean!

ghoul gets his ‘talking to sam and dean’ privileges taken away after this one

[archangelraphael]

Definitely the lilac and steel!

(Referring to the ask game, of course)

Hii ck!!! ^^ Thank you so much💕💕 I’m gonna uno reverse card on you and say you’re lilac and charcoal to me too 💕💕💕

why do you follow me?

[nalivaa]

☆- Put this star in the inbox of your favorite blogs. Its time to spread positivity! 💛💛

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜!!! ily ck <3!!

[the-haiku-bot]

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean

are miming to each other

behind Michael’s back.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

No, really. What would the Winchesters have done if Michael hadn’t betrayed them? Would they have lit up that fake spell and then awkwardly stood around for ten minutes, Sam and Dean clearly expecting Chuck to appear at any moment, while Michael is just there, staring sadly down into the empty bowl, wondering if this last ditch effort to defeat Chuck had worked, and if there was any possibility that Adam might know he did this for him, too late, but for him all the same…

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are miming to each other behind Michael’s back. 

“Did he not rat us out?”

“NO WAY HE MUST HAVE!”

“Then where is…?”

Sam and Dean start to panic, looking at Jack and each other, hoping someone has a plan B.

Meanwhile, Michael is starting to tear up. 

[michaelmilligan]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

!! I was tagged by @frumious-bandersnatch-ao3 and @mansplainmanipulatemalewife. Thenk. <3

Are you named after anyone?

I am named after myself. :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Taking into account all kinds of crying, the day before yesterday (I had to cough and then got nauseous and it was... not a fun time). In terms of emotional crying, Christmas (also not a fun time).

3. Do you have any kids?

Thankfully, no. (This is good both for me and any theoretical kids.)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Less than I used to, and more in person than in written form.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Ummmm. Whether or not they're coming towards me and whether or not one of us needs to get out of the way. Also whether they seem like down-to-Earth people or if they seem like they're arrogant.

6. Eye colour?

Blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings please.

8. Any special talents?

I can ignore text messages and calls for days or weeks on end. ✨

Seriously though, not really. I'm decent at English I guess? I got asked once if I studied in Britain, which. No, lol.

9. Where were you born?

In a hospital, to very concerned doctors and parents. <3

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, ignoring all the unread books on my shelf, opening more and more AO3 tabs on my phone... and yelling about the blorbos with my fandom friends.

11. Have you any pets?

No. As a kid I had guinea pigs, then a cat, then technically a dog, and then rats. Now I don't have any.

12. What sports do you/have you play(ed)?

Not much. I did Kung Fu for a while in the equivalent of middle school.

13. How tall are you?

About 165cm, which I have to use google to convert every time (about 5'4'' or however you write that).

14. Favourite subject in school?

English. Also maths was fun except for that half a year where I had a horrible teacher.

15. Dream job?

I do not dream of labour.

Being a professional author would be kind of fun, except it would probably be horrible for me personally due to a lack of structure in my every-day life. So. I suppose an office job is as good as it gets for me.

Okay, and now for the hard part. Tags. Uuuuh, mutuals. Mutuals...

@gay-destiel @effervescent-fool @baiboop @godexx-of-chaos-mischief-aces @snowglobegays @heavensmostadorableangel @anarchyforcanon @strawberrymars @nonbinary-not-finary @shipboardcomputer @leatafandom @heaven-ecologist @archangelraphael @ckneal @jewishadammilligan

[ileolai]

ckneal reblogged your photo: gaze into his sparkling anime eyes

WHAT DOES HE WANT? GIVE IT TO HIM!

cake and a thorough plowing 

[angelslettuce]

In the Midamoul Ghoulpreg AU, Michael performs some kind of handwavey archangelic c-section (no matter how obnoxious Ghoul is, Michael isn’t gonna let his babyparent just die.) Michael is awash in feelings holding this ghoul-nephil, his child (joy and fear in becoming a parent, guilt for his joy over this occurrence that he had viciously condemned and punished others for doing in the past, confusion over what this means for his relationship w Adam—who is of course also the baby’s parent but is it different?—etc etc etc.) And Ghoul is like, yo hand me my kid, as he digs out small chunks of his own leg to feed to the already-toothy and hungry baby ghoul.

[paradisecas]

i’ll love you or die trying

@midamoulweek day 4: So he says, “Well, what you’re doing is, there’s something bad happened. And you’re going back thinking that you can make it right. Something went wrong, and you keep going back to see if you can fix it, or somehow make it right.”

And I sat there, and I said, “That is what I’m doing.”

And he said, “Well, you can’t.”

shared body midamoul inspired by this post from @ckneal

The world is empty when Michael stands in Adam’s old neighborhood.

It’s eerily quiet; no children in the street, no cars on the road. Adam’s house has been boarded up; nobody sold it, nobody bought it. Inside is a relic of Adam’s past that he was too afraid to revisit while he had the chance. Michael wonders if the crime scene tape is still up, if Adam knew it’s not the house he left behind or the one they lived in together for so long. 

Storm clouds are brewing in the sky behind him and he can feel static electricity coursing through the veins that are not his. They’re his fault, just like everything else is.

This rapture that could have been prevented had he stepped up instead of running away. Adam’s millennia of suffering that could have been avoided if he hadn’t been so impatient. The Milligans’ brutal deaths that he merely sat by and watched happen. 

“I’ve never seen this place so dead,” a voice murmurs in the back of his mind. 

This creature that would have stayed dead had Michael not been so negligent in the days leading up to the apocalypse. 

“I mean, I know it’s dead because everyone’s gone, but it’s still weird,” the voice continues. 

Michael simmers with an exhausted rage. 

How is it that he was unable to save Adam, arguably the most important, wonderful, kind-hearted, and undeserving person in all of creation, but this creature in their mind stayed behind?

He’d been dormant through their time in the cage, thank—not Father, not anymore, thank someone else—but emerged into consciousness shortly after their release. Part of Michael is glad he’s not alone now; an eternity with his siblings in his mind and a thousand years with Adam in his grace, and he’s not used to hearing only his own thoughts. A bigger, much more heartbroken part of him is furious that the creature dares speak to him, here of all places. 

“I mean, I haven't seen this house in—do I say a thousand years or ten? I died a year before Adam came back so, eleven years for me?”

“You haven't seen this house since you slipped through the vents to steal, kill, and eat Adam,” Michael retorts. 

The thing pushes himself into an apparition—Michael was not happy with Adam for teaching it how to do that—and he turns away. He can’t bear to look at someone wearing Adam’s face who isn’t him. It’s not right, especially not now. 

“You’re throwing quite the temper tantrum, aren’t you?” it asks, and when Michael glances out of the corner of his eye he can see it staring at the clouds that have blown in and are now lingering above their heads, dark and heavy and flashing with lightning. 

“You would react differently?” Michael spits. “You’re okay with everything that has happened?”

“Of course not,” the creature says, like it should’ve been obvious. “I liked Adam a lot more than I like you.”

When the first raindrop hits, Michael lets it drip down his face—not his face—and the rest of them soak his jacket. 

It feels like penance. Michael deserves to serve penance. 

He knew that Adam would die, not just in the rapture, but here in this house too. The ghoul John Winchester killed had children who would grow up itching to avenge their father’s death, as it was written in Father’s story. They would kill the woman John slept with and the child that created and all it would do was serve to advance the stories of Sam and Dean who were, even back then, the most important humans in heaven’s—his—eyes. 

Michael knew what Adam’s fate would be long before it happened, and was even glad for it when Dean’s insistent refusal to agree to his part in the apocalypse grew too grating. It meant he had a backup vessel practically gift-wrapped and waiting for him to possess. 

If he had known then what he knows now, he’d change everything. He’d rip the story to shreds and create his own, one where Adam doesn’t have to suffer. One where Adam gets to live and be happy.

The angriest parts of him yearn to try even now, to fly into the past and stop this creature from ever laying a hand on his Adam. To not let his past self make the call for resurrection. To more carefully oversee said resurrection and make sure Adam’s soul was put into the right body. To stop Sam Winchester from dragging them all into the cage. 

There’s a lot he wants to change, and no time to do it. No chance to even try without Father noticing his power and putting a stop to his—to him. 

“Do you ever feel bad for what you did to him?” the creature asks softly. “I kinda do. Or I know I should.”

If it was possible, Michael would laugh. As it stands, no part of him is able to conjure up even an ironic semblance of humor.

“If I had known John was already dead…” it trails off. “I still would’ve killed him. I don’t think he deserved it, though.”

“You don’t think?” Michael doesn’t have the energy for the righteous fury he wants to exude. “He didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Since when do we get what we deserve?” the creature echoes, and something stabs through the core of Michael’s being. 

It hurts. It aches. He aches. He’s soaked to the bone. 

“Come on,” the creature says. “Shouldn’t we be in hiding? Adam would be pissed if you let your old man kill us just ‘cause you hung around his house too long.”

“What would you know about Adam’s wishes?” 

“Hey now, I’m the one with all his memories. You might live in his mind, but I know all about your little agreement, so you don’t know everything. Me? I do.” It shrugs. 

“You only have those memories because you stole his body.” 

“I stole his body and then you stole my body,” the creature points out. “I can’t help that I look like him, you know.”

So many things Michael’s done wrong. So many mistakes.

The creature sighs. “My point is, I have his memories, and they’re telling me that he loves you, dude. You know those Winchester idiots are probably cooking something up to fix this right about now, so it’s not like he’s gone forever.”

What the creature does not know is that Michael cannot see a future for himself. Any attempt at repairing the world is futile; Father is far more powerful than two humans. Than Michael, even. 

There is no timeline in which he survives this fight; Father will be furious and there will be nothing he can do. Michael is going to lead both of them into the end—the end of more than humanity. The end of the archangels. The end of heaven. It’s all inevitable. 

Wind whips through the trees around them as the storm picks up. The creature flinches. “Maybe you should calm down a little?” it suggests. “Like, this keeps up and your dad won’t be the one to kill us.”

Maybe that would be more poetic. Better to die at his own hands than those of the one who created him. Better to drown in his sorrow than face the truth of just how far he has fallen.

“Seriously. We can’t stay here forever.”

Why not?

“Maybe you don’t have any self preservation anymore, but this isn’t how I wanna go. Five seconds and I’m taking control again.”

Michael almost lets it, but he turns away from the house and flies them back to St. Michael’s, where they can do nothing but hide and wallow and wait.

—

“Why are we here again?” the ghoul asks the next day. “You’re being kinda pathetic.”

“You’re not as charming as you think you are,” Michael says. 

“Adam thought I was.”

He’s right. Adam’s world weary attitude meant that when the ghoul emerged from wherever he’d been hiding, the fact that he ate Adam alive didn’t mean so much to him anymore. The ghoul is admittedly—unfortunately—witty, which was helpful in the immediate aftermath of freedom that came with a sudden recalibration of belief, and he's more adaptable than Michael thinks he will ever manage to be. It’s no wonder Adam forged a bond with him, but that doesn’t mean Michael can do the same. 

There’s a lot he can’t do. 

The sky is darker than yesterday; not because it’s night, but because Michael cannot control how thick the clouds that follow him are becoming. Once, he could have willed them away with nothing but a thought, but there’s nothing to be done now. The clouds are inevitable, as so many things are. 

“Can we at least go inside?” the ghoul complains. “I’m tired of being wet.”

When Michael doesn’t answer, he seizes control of their legs and begins the trek up the broken concrete of the driveway. Michael couldn’t take back control even if he wanted to.

Power is hard to come by, these days. 

When they reach the door, the ghoul has to take control of the hands too; Michael just stands there, staring at peeling paint on old wood. Hinges creak after a decade unused, barely audible over the thundering of the rain. Inside, a thick layer of dust coats every surface. 

In the cage, Adam recreated this house for them to live in; for him, it was a comfort. For Michael, it was home in the interim between that role being taken by heaven or Adam himself. He’s never seen the real thing, and looking at how it’s fallen apart over the years makes him wish he never had. 

Pictures line the walls and bookshelves in a way Adam could never fully recreate. The moment Michael’s eyes land on a framed photo of Adam and Kate, young and laughing, he can’t take it anymore. 

The ghoul doesn’t even have time to startle before Michael flies away.

“What was that for?” he asks once they’re once again safely ensconced in stained glass and overturned books. A crack of lightning illuminates a page in pink and blue. 

These books—warped versions of the stories he spread—paint Lucifer as a devil with a silver tongue, able to slip into the minds of man and convince them to do the darkest of deeds in the name of evil. Since Castiel called them to that bunker, Michael has been learning that Lucifer was not the only one to take on that role. 

All the time he spent with Adam spoiled him. It feels impossible to internalize things the way he used to; thoughts weigh on his grace in a mirror of the storm cloud above. 

“I was foolish to care for Him,” Michael says into the echoing silence. 

“For Adam?”

“No—no.” Caring for Adam is one of the few things Michael has gotten right. “My Father.”

“Oh yeah, fuck that guy,” the ghoul says. 

“He never cared for me.”

“Yeah, well, he never cared for me either.” The ghoul shrugs. “That’s just how the cookie crumbles, I guess.”

Michael frowns. “He didn’t care about you because you’re—”

“A monster?” the ghoul finishes wryly. “Yeah, according to who, exactly?”

According to Father. According to Michael. 

According to hunters, Michael’s a monster too. With the knowledge of how he convinced generations of humans to believe in someone who never paid them any mind, Michael thinks they’re not that far off. 

And so the story goes. 

—

The third time Michael takes them to the house he—gives in. Everything he ever held dear is gone, everything in the world is gone, and he thinks he’s allowed a moment of weakness. 

Ghoul keeps his regular vigil to Michael’s left, a perfect recreation of all Michael wants. The first time he lost everything, he had Adam. This time—he’ll take what he can get. He can pretend if he has to.

Without leaving himself any time to second guess it, Michael lunges forward and pulls Ghoul into a tight hug, wrapping his wings around both of them to shield from the rain for good measure. Ghoul makes a startled oof as he collides with Michael’s chest, but doesn’t hesitate to return the embrace. 

This is Adam’s body he’s holding, he tells himself. He can protect Adam this time. Maybe he can toss his soul into heaven before it’s too late. Maybe he can reach out and actually try shielding him from the deadly wave rippling across the world. This is Adam’s hair tickling his nose and these are Adam’s fingers gripping the back of his jacket. 

Michael won’t—can’t—let go. Not this time. 

Ghoul tightens the hug, doesn’t even make a snarky remark about Michael being a wuss. Maybe he’s pretending that Michael is Adam too. 

Thunder rolls as lightning cracks, striking the tallest tree in Adam’s yard, and Ghoul jumps away. 

“I guess that didn’t help much,” he says awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck. 

“No,” Michael agrees, suddenly thankful for the rain. 

Before now, he hadn’t been sure whether or not archangels could cry.

The tree catches fire. It only burns for a moment; the rain is coming down too hard to let the flames really take hold. 

“It’s a good thing nobody’s around to notice the freak weather,” Ghoul says. “We should get back.”

Just as the house remains the same, so does the past. There’s nothing Michael can do to change what has already happened, no way to save what he’s already lost. After one last look at what once was Adam’s home but is now something he can never return to, Michael flies them to the church for the last time.

The chapter ends, but the storm follows in his wake. 

—

When the Winchesters come calling, Michael has no choice but to follow. They ask about Adam, and grief clogs his throat so heavily that it has to be Ghoul who says, “Gone, I’m sorry to say.”

In the bunker when Lucifer—Lucifer, chosen by Father—asks, “Who’s in there with you?” Michael shrouds Ghoul in as much grace as he should have done for Adam. This is all he can do to fight the narrative; he cannot change the past but he can try to preserve the present and prevent the future. 

As the plan unspools and the storm above Michael finally breaks, he thinks of nothing but the half glimpse of a younger Adam coated in a decade’s worth of dust. 

And when Father finally raises his hand and begins taking Michael apart, piece by piece until he’s nothing but shards of grace scattered in the wind, he’s almost thankful for the respite. 

The dead are unable to grieve. 

(When he lands in the empty, awake and alone and unable to do anything but hide away in a memory of the house where nothing good ever happened, he learns that that is not quite true. For the dead, grief becomes eternity.)

—

Some time later, Ghoul finds himself standing in front of that old, boarded up house in Windom again. The sun shines so bright and so hot he almost misses the clouds. Children run through the streets. Cars cruise along dry roads. 

This time, he only has Adam at his side.  

[jumptheshark]

Kate Jr right after she bit the clown at her first birthday party! (Bonus points for an amused Sam in the background)

(ghoul is very proud of her but is pretending he isn’t so he doesn’t get in trouble 😔)

i know you said amused sam, but then i remembered his canon relationship with clowns and thought it would be funny if he was trying to help the poor guy but was too scared to actually help

AND i just realized you said *first* birthday party, which this obviously isn’t 😭😭😭

[archangelraphael]

I probably associate you most with jam, violet, and heather. A lot of purple, because of colors I’ve seen linked to Raphael.

Purple has been a very popular choice for me, but it's interesting how it's mostly the dark tones/grey tones ! Very pretty colors thank you ckneal ♡

What color am I

[nalivaa]

i told @ckneal i'd do something for their royal au like,,, forever ago and i'm only now delivering aksjdhkja

anyway hi ck i'm sorry this took so long but here it is! finally! i had some,,, complications with it but it's all good now :]

if i never have to render anything again in my entire life it will still be too soon </3

[ispridestillasin]

ckneal you've suddenly made me care way more about dante and his super cool angel boyfriend virgil

So, Michael wrote the bible stories to tell humanity what a great and terrifying guy his dad was. Or maybe just what a great guy, and the terrifying stuff sort of just…seeped in, because Michael had no idea that it’s not normal for your dad to drown creation because he doesn’t like what they’re doing. Just, you know. Dad stuff.

But I wonder then. What do we make of The Inferno, and Virgil? Did Michael write that too? A story about his one random little brother, who liked to hang out in Heaven’s armory (because he’d been assigned the job for all time), meeting a funny little human and holding his hand through Hell? Or did Virgil decide to play hooky one day? Did he read Michael’s stories and have a “I’m a WAY better writer, and I’ll prove it!” moment? Or was he secretly thinking of rebelling, and ran off to Earth one night, where he met a human who was down on his luck, and somehow the two of them wound up having a divine bro trip, wandering through Hell, and the guy just happened to be a writer, and nobody else in Heaven ever knew, but it was the single most magical experience of Virgil’s life, and in the Empty, his dreams are all Dante, Dante, Dante? 

[michaelwavemichaelwave]

Here's an angler fish Micheal based on @ckneal's post! (I'm having trouble linking it)

[michaelmilligan]

Rules: Tag nine people you want to know better

I was tagged by @anarchyforcanon 👀👀

Three ships: Midam (SPN), Culmets (Star Trek Discovery), Sam/Eileen/Gabriel/Rowena (also SPN - chaos polycule my beloved)

First ever ship: JouKai (or puppyshipping or violetshipping whatever we call it these days :D) from Yu-Gi-Oh! (and honestly I'm still shipping it XD)

Last song: 'I write sins not tragedies' by Panic! at the disco. (I listened to a lot of 2006 music the last few days for my Midam high school AU that takes place in that year.)

Last movie: Encato :D (Watch me make Encanto-natural posts, yo)

Currently reading: Started 'False Value' by Ben Aaronovitch yesterday. It's part of the Rivers of London series, but I'm not sure if I like the set-up for this one... we'll see. I'm only a few pages in yet.

Currently watching: 'What we do in the shadows' (Vampire mocumentary everyone!!). Also 'The Legend of Vox Machina' (Critical Role, my beloved - at last this is a format of it that doesn't take so much time that it's daunting to even start an episode. :') I still love the original but I'm not sure I can ever finish Campaign 1 or catch up with the rest.)

Currently consuming: I had wraps with Nutella and applesauce this morning. 👀

Currently craving: Coffee. Of course I've had that already today, but. You can never have enough coffee. Half-kidding, of course you can drink too much, and I try to hold back but also... gimme the wake-up juice.

tagging: Uuuuuh idk who wants to be tagged or not or who has already done this that I haven't seen, so feel free to ignore but I choose you, Pikachu - @jumptheshark @ckneal @beesreadbooks @sea-chest @whothefuckcare @silvery-luna @tuometarr @angelscas @heaven-ecologist

[godsprettiestprincess]

Rules: Tag people you want to know better

Tagged by @anarchyforcanon (u tagged my main but here is better trust me hsvsvs)

Three ships: Samifer, Nickifer, uhhhhhhh Jack & Lucifer

First ever ship: oh god um. Aragorn/Arwen I think?

Last song: …….Candy Store from the Heathers Musical

Last movie: Encanto I’m pretty sure

Currently reading: Joan’s dramatic renditions of The Walking Dead this fic

Currently watching: 😑 Supernatural. Still.

Currently consuming: Day-old pizza

Currently craving: The chocolate lava cake that may or may not still be in my fridge :3

tagginggggg: @whisperoftheheart925 @ckneal @nalivaa @fandom-space-princess @openpolarsea @generoustoadknightangel & anyone else I forgot

[freetobeafcknriot]

howdy! c: so @tuometarr (hello there dear 💖) tagged me in this neat little thing called Fic Authors Self Rec, and— ngl i need to step up my game and write in english more often, but luckily i do have some midam fanfics posted, so. . .

here's my top 5 favorite fics I have written:

traditions ( ao3 / tumblr )   christmas one-shot i wrote for the first anniversary of 15x08. totally unplanned, yet weirdly enough it’s my favorite. probably because of the atmosphere and the way i don’t think about it and worry i got michael’s character completely wrong.

the star and the firefly ( tumblr )   very, very short. it literally is a 196 words flashfic, but it’s the very first thing i wrote about them after i caught up with the show and fell in love with their love, and it holds a lot of meaning. they be cute.

crescendo ( ao3 / tumblr )   wrote this for hug day, so that is the theme. it’s packed with little scenes that go through their entire time together, so obviously it includes the finale, too. it’s canon divergence at the very end though, because i will never go 100% along with canon. i see it as a sort of stream of consciousness, and i didn’t think it was much at first, but i warmed up to it pretty quickly.

unpredictability ( ao3 / tumblr )   random one-shot i wrote for midam week 2021. canon divergence, with some god!michael crumbs because i said so, plus... ikea furniture. much to adam’s delight lol. it really is nothing much, but i’m fond of it anyway.

early mornings ( ao3 / tumblr )   i think this is around 700 words. slice-of-life based on a headcanon about one of the perks of living with your archangel bf inside of you that came to me out of the blue one day. it’s so random i was probably stressing about exams, so it should be good to read. again, they’re funny and cute, in their own way!

i only included the fics i wrote in english, which...made picking and ranking a little harder lol. i’m not sure who has been tagged already, so i’m going to tag: @witchern, @adammilligan, @ckneal, @fandom-space-princess and the loml @jewishadammilligan.  no pressure, of course! and if any of you guys has already been tagged i’m sorry, feel free to ignore this. if anyone hasn’t done this already and would like to try, consider yourselves tagged! i am always eager to read or re-read other people’s works! 💖