#cille’s asks ✨

[darlingsfandom]

heyyyy! Hope you're doing well! I was wondering if you'd be able to do a cute little "Cillian feeling neglected" fic... Like reader is busy with zoom call meetings or something that takes up the whole day and Cill just wants some hugs and kisses 😖

hi hi! I’m doing alright, thank you ! I sure can✨

It was six o clock in the evening once again and Cillian was going stir crazy! At first it didn’t bother him because he loved having you at home all the time but he doesn’t get your full attention. He understood at first and would give you your space until you would be done. When you had your lunch breaks you’d always come out to find him doing something like a crossword puzzle or reading a book, one time it was him watching a video on how to make cheese but luckily he never actually took that up! During that time you’d sit and eat with him or when there was some down time you’d go give him a kiss or two.

Now he sat outside the office door waiting like a puppy. He was going crazy without seeing you and knowing you were just behind the door.

“Baby!!” He whined as you finally stepped out of the office. You tilted your head to side with a small pout appearing on your lips.

“Honey, you look sad, are you okay?” You asked wrapping your arms around his waist. Cillian wrapped his arms around you tightly almost as to pop you like a balloon. His head rested on your shoulder while rubbing your back.

“I miss ya, I never get to see ya tat much anymore. I miss my beautiful wife.” His voice cracked in a way that made your own heart break. You didn’t really think you had been working that hard that he’d be so upset but as you stood there in his arms it dawned on you that you couldn’t even remember that last time you had taken a day off outside your scheduled day off! Not days! Just a day! The realization had you blinking rapidly that you had put your work before your own family, well just you and Cillian but that’s still a family! It’s your own little family that you had semi left behind.

“Oh my god, Cillian, I’m sorry , I’m so sorry.” You kissed the top of his head repeatedly as he inhaled your scent from the crook of your neck. He missed your scent, your touch, the way your skin rubbed against his he just missed you.

“Please just don’t move right now.” He spoke softly. His words struck your heart. You felt the guilt bubble in your stomach as it inched up your throat, you wanted to cry but you can’t. This was about him, how you wanted him to feel loved, cherished, cared for , that he was important to you. The two of you stood in the middle of the hallway holding each other tightly, listening to each other breathe so peacefully for the first time in what felt like ages.

“I love you, I can and will say that until the day I die and even then I’ll still love you.” You whispered. Cillian stood up straight before cupping your face in his hands. His thumbs moved slowly across your cheeks wiping away the silent tears that wanted to fall from your eyes. His blue eyes looked deep into yours and he smiled, he had a warm smile that felt sincere and melt you whole.

“Even in death, I’m going to love ya.” He pressed his lips into yours with force , passion that made goosebumps crawl over your skin and your legs weak. It had been a moment since the two of you shared a kiss like that and not just a peck on the lips or a little one on the cheek in passing. You held onto his arms as the kiss deepened between the two of you. Cillian pulled away , looked back at your lips and then kissed you again before pulling you as close as possible. It was nice to feel his love pour out of him with a kiss.

The two of you finally pulled away to stand there smiling at each other before he took your hand and lead you to the bathroom. You watched how he set up a warm bath for the two of you. Cillian got the bath ready before turning to help you get undressed, he kissed every area of exposed skin once he removed your clothes and couldn’t help but blush when you were fully naked. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you naked but something about this moment , he was amazed. Once you were nude he waisted no time in getting naked to then help you into the warm soothing water. You sat between his legs in the garden tub with your back against his chest. The two of you sat in comfortable silence as he played with your fingers in the water and kissed your head. This is what he had missed, he missed you! He just needed you and only you .

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot - Part 50

Cillian Murphy series 2014, 2015

I’m sorry for not posting this sooner! Sometimes time flies and when I realize it’s boom 🤯 a month went by… but my love for these two will always make me enjoy the most for each part. And I can’t believe this story reached part 50!!?!! Like how ?

Ps. Happy birthday Cill 💙✨

Word count: 3,628

Cillian waved at the crew team as they left him in front of his hotel. As it got chiller, he shivered and walked into the small convinience store to get a bottle of water, strolling through the aisles, he found a stuffed duck and immediately thought of Scout, he loved ducks. As he walked past some people, he was aware of the glances and deep down he knew the reason.

The infamous Thomas Shelby haircut.

“Hello you.” He greeted his wife after answering his phone.

“Hey baby, how have you been?” Yael’s voice spread softly to his heart.

“Missing you like crazy.” He admitted realizing he probably sounded corny.

“Well I miss you more.”

Cillian placed the phone between his shoulder and cheek to grab something.

“Give me a sec.” He managed to make it to the register balancing the items in his arms and politely asked the cashier if she could cut the tag from the stuffed animal.

“What was that?” Yael chuckled softly.

“I’m buying some stuff.” He put his wallet in his back pocket and made it out of the store. “How’s it going? How are you ladies doing?”

“I took Mum to a yoga class and then we had breakfast at this cute little café and more ladies stuff.” She explained and he could easily imagine her playing with one of her curls with a beautiful smile on her lips.

“Oh tell me more about that girls stuff.” He stopped at the red light, checking the signal to cross the street.

“We’re getting manis and pedis later.” He loved hearing her laugh. “And oh! Yesterday when we were walking, we found an antiques shop…”

“Oh shit.” He interrupted in a playful tone.”

“Stop it.” She giggled.

“And what gorgeous rare-to-find item did you discover this time?” Cillian asked not being able to stop the smile from growing in his lips. He knew Yael too damn well.

“A painting.” Yael replied shyly. “And I immediately fell in love with it.” She rushed to explain to cover for her excitement.

Cillian laughed, seeing already the scene in his mind. His wife had a weakness for antiques, but he had to admit she had a good taste.

“It’s beautiful and the frame it’s the original, took me a while to properly clean it.” She continued.

“I bet you didn’t stop until getting it hanged.”

“Actually I didn’t, still trying to decide what’s the right place.” He heard Scout barking in the background. “How’s the scouting going?”

“Grand, grand… later we’re going somewhere else, we need some scenes by the river and the caravans look fucking phenomenal.” He explained.

The project was around the corner and he tensed his shoulders involuntarily at the thought of embarking once more into the character’s chaos.

“I can’t wait to see everything up.”

“Alright baby, I’ll let you go to your pedi time, call you later.” Cillian told her that he love her and walked into the store trying to keep a low profile.

He needed to pick up the gift he ordered for Yael.

***

“Mrs. Lieberman, Mrs. Murphy welcome.” The social worker asked them to take their seats. “Let’s see,” she seemed to focus on a sheet before her, the desk had a pile of folders and papers organized with colorful post it. “I understand you traveled for this appointment.”

“Yes, my home is in London.” Isla crossed her leg. “But right now I’m staying with my daughter.”

“I see.”

It was hard to tell anything from Mrs. O’Brien’s expression. Her lips were in a tight line and Yael always felt uneasy, not knowing if she was sharing too much or if she shouldn’t have said that.

“Would you like to tell me about your family and the dynamic you share?”

As Isla went on to talk about her children, talked about how they traveled frequently to be together as much as they could and then she shared a small snippet of a birthday party she held for one of her grandchildren.

“So how would an adoption blend into this? How do you feel about that?”

Although the question was meant to set anyone back and make you question yourself, Isla managed to pull a great comeback.

“Do you mean if I’d love that children less because it’s not biologically my grandchild?” She asked openly and when she saw the social worker nod, she went on. “My husband picked me up from the ground when I was at my lowest point emotionally and economically, for months I saw my daughter struggling with physical therapy to recover from the accident and surgery after surgery and not only that, he took my children as his own and loved us unconditionally, the same goes for our grandchildren. He never made one single comment about not being linked by blood or sharing DNA with any of them, I wouldn’t know how to love Yael and Cillian’s child any other way.”

Yael had to fight back the tears that formed in her eyes. There it was, the woman who always inspired her, opening her heart to say just what she thought.

“To me,” Isla continued. “It’s not about sharing the same genetics… it’s something deeper than that, it’s about choosing to love, care and protect for another human being without waiting anything in return and I know this takes a lot of time and steps but I can assure you my daughter and her husband will be the most loving parents if you give them the chance.”

Quietly, Yael excused herself and walked out of the office, she wasn’t needed there anyways. Emotions were suffocating her and it was impossible to prevent it. Perhaps it was the fact that Cillian was away, or her Mother’s words that touched her heart. But either way, she needed a break, to keep her guard down and trust the process and its own time. But who was she trying to fool? It was damn hard and sometimes it felt like it would never happen.

“This has been extremely hard for my daughter, the process is wearing her out, but I understand this is not like going to the grocery shop and picking a kid. I know it takes time and you’ve to follow protocols and forms, but trust me, she’s the most loving person I know and motherhood has always been her biggest dream.”

“We cannot base the approval on that Mrs. Lieberman, we need to check background, records, psychology tests… we’re talking about a vulnerable child’s life.”

Isla nodded, not wanting to upset the social worker.

“May I ask how long does it takes to finalize?”

The social worker shuddered. “It can be months… even years.”

Isla’s heart shattered by the statement. She wanted to keep a positive spirit, but the time frame wasn’t very helpful.

“That long? And there’s nothing you can do?”

The social worker shook her head. “We’ve to complete each step.”

“But there are so many kids in orphanages.” She had seen it first hand, since the following day she arrived, they went to give away the books Yael bought for the children, spent hours there reading to them. It was bittersweet, but she was grateful for sharing a moment like that with her daughter.

Yael wasn’t doing it just to look good for the adoption process, she was doing it because she learned it filled her heart and soul, because she wanted to make those kids happy.

“I just wish you get everything you need to approve their adoption, they’re eager to welcome their child into their happy little family.”

“We want nothing but the very same.”

Ending the meeting, Isla went to search for her daughter. Her heart beating faster, she just wanted the best for Yael and Cillian.

“There you’re sweetie, shall we go somewhere?”

“Yes, I need some fresh air.” Yael helped her put in her coat and the pair went to the parking lot.

“I probably shouldn’t have stormed off like that.” Yael regretted her reaction.

“Don’t worry about that, the interview was meant to be just for me, and this is draining.”

“But they seem to be monitoring everything, every little thing you do and say.” Yael waited for her green light to take a turn.

“I know you and you’re probably tired of hearing this, but try to take this one step at the time, be patient. I’m sure the reward is around the corner.”

Yael knew her mother’s words were filled with the best intentions, but it was just like telling someone grieving to not feel sad about losing someone they love.

“Let’s focus on something else sweetheart, let’s go to clear our heads for a bit.” Isla proposed, worried about her daughter, she wanted to do something to cheer her up.

“Yeah, we’ve the appointment at the salon already.”

“Yes, that’s a wonderful idea.”

Yael took a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell Cill about this just yet. He needs to focus on his next project and this isn’t exactly a major step or something that tells me we’re getting good news soon.”

Yael took a U turn at the next available exit, following the instructions in the GPS.

As she was driving, her phone started ringing and Cillian’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey handsome, I was thinking of you.”

“I got a notification marked as urgent that you left somewhere, are you alright?”

“Yeah, we just finished the interview with the social worker and I’m taking Mum for a walk. It’s the app I downloaded for you, it keeps you updated of where am I and stuff like that.”

“Oh so I can spy on you?” He joked and made Isla chuckled. “How did it go?”

Yael took a deep breath before answering her husband. “I hope well.”

“I’m sure of it.” He offered through the phone. “Why don’t you go to the movies to shake it off?” Cillian proposed.

Yael gasped at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea!”

“Yeah.” He added thinking how it had been a while since they went out. Lately he had been focusing on the script and nothing else, he felt bad because as he was getting more and more engrossed on the role, he started to grow apart from his wife. And although she never pointed it out, now that her mother was around, he was noticing the difference.

She was so supportive of each of his projects and with the adoption process, he wanted to make sure they were still connected.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking… why don’t start planning a holiday during Christmas? Or by the time I finish filming? Let’s go wherever you want, hmm?”

“Oh that’s really nice!” Isla agreed, noticing the smile on her daughter’s lips.

“I’d love that.” A few days away just the two of them? Yael was already looking forward to it.

“Alright, it’s settled then, I’m heading to the set now, let me know when you get home.”

“Will do.” Telling Cillian, she loved him, Yael hang up.

“He’s amazing.” Isla expressed, getting out of the car, as they arrived at the salon.

“I can’t wait for that holiday already, I feel like he’s been rehearsing since forever.”

She wanted nothing but have a good rest and not worry about anything else.

“Hello, welcome.” A woman greeted them and asked if they had an appointment.

Yael left her purse by a chair and started checking the nail colors options.

“You look so much alike!” The woman pointed at Isla and Yael in shock. “It’s like you did copy-paste.”

Yael blushed, she was so used to get those kind of reactions, specially now that her mother was sporting her natural curls freely.

Another woman at the salon pointed out the same in awe.

“Thanks. We hear that a lot.” Yael chuckled.

“So who’s Isla?” A kind smile appeared on her face just as a woman that was getting a haircut turned from her chair.

“That’d be me.” Yael’s mother replied waving her hand.

“Isla?” The woman turned around to face. “Isla is that you?”

“Barbara?” Her mother asked cautiously.

Yael looked the exchange with confusion.

“Oh my God I can’t believe it’s you!” Isla covered her mouth with her hands.

As the two women moved to closer to hug, Yael stared at the scene trying to understand the story behind their familiarity.

“It’s been what? A lifetime.” Isla continued.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw you, but after all this time, you still look the same.”

Then, Isla looked around, noticing her daughter’s stare. “Goodness! Let me introduce you to my daughter, Yael, she’s my youngest.”

“Nice to meet you.” Yael greeted the woman.

“She’s Barbara, I used to babysit her and her sister. I was in my early 20’s.” Isla explained her daughter. “And one day, I never saw you again.”

“She looks just like you.” Barbara admitted. “You knew they took us to a government facility?”

Isla gasped in shock. “So it was true.”

“After a few months, someone adopted my sister and I never saw her again, she was only five years old back then, I waited but when I turned eighteen they kicked me out.” Barbara explained.

“You never saw her again?” Isla asked, her heart breaking in the process.

“No, I’ve been searching for her for so many years with no luck.”

“Uhm excuse me? We’ve a full agenda, could we continue while you catch up?” The hairstylist pointed at Bárbara’s wet hair.

“Sorry! Yes.” She stretched her arm towards Isla. “Mind if we go somewhere after we’re done here?”

Isla nodded, feeling like a knot installed in her stomach.

***

Cillian stood in the middle of Arley Hall mesmerized. The place was magnetic, beautiful and oozed this old vibe mansion in every corner.

“What do you think?” Steven asked, standing next to him.

“It’s amazing.” He turned around and moved away just as some crew walked past them with some furniture.

“They’re closing it to the public while we’re filming.” Steven stood there watching everything with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face.

“Are we filming everywhere?” Cillian crossed his arms imagining the scenes in this place, it was a luxury property and according to the script this was Tommy’s ultimate dream house, where he officially kick off and gets what he always wanted.

His ambitions finally materializing, his dreams becoming a reality.

Oh, but the price Tommy would have to pay…

Cillian wandered around. He learned it had been once the home of a wealthy family, it was spacious, the view to the garden was fantastic, part of the house included a cellar, and the second floor was as incredible as the first one, but for the upstairs part, they had constructed a replica on one of the sets.

As he kept walking, he arrived at the kitchen area one floor below, he had never seen something like that, it was rustic and had a huge pantry and an area where they kept the meat stored.

It was a dream, he was practically drooling over it. It was so easy to get lost and imagine how everything would look as soon as the crew got it ready for filming. Walking around, he ended in the dining room, a couple of important scenes would be filmed there.

“I think this needs something else, but I don’t know what.” Steven joined him.

It oozed luxury, it was elegant. The chandeliers sparkled, curtains with fabric that looked so expensive. Cillian imagined the kind of life the previous owners carried before it was purchased as wedding venue and a place open to the public to visit.

“A painting.” Cillian suggested casually. “A huge arse portrait.”

Steven turned around to stare at Cillian, eyes wide open as the realization hit him hard and fast.

“Yes, right there in the back of the main seat.”

Cillian nodded, hands hiding inside his pockets. It was involuntary, but it was part of the essence of his character. He couldn’t help it.

“Can your wife be in charge?”

He nodded quietly.

“Give her a call.”

But he didn’t need to do so. Because his phone started ringing in that very moment and it was Yael.

“Hello beautiful, I was just about to call you.”

“You’ve to sit down, you’re not going to believe this.” Yael started off. She sounded like there was something important she wanted to tell him.

“What’s the matter? Is everything fine?” Quietly he decided to take a walk outside, away from someone listening.

”Mum and I were at the salon, right? So when they call her name, this woman immediately recognized Mum and went to greet her, they chat for a bit. Long story short my Mum used to babysit Barbara -the woman-, when they were younger but one day she and her sister were taken away and she never saw them again.”

Cillian listened carefully, waiting for his wife to tell him the full story.

“Barbara is the Director of the child services office.” She explained him, his heart started beating faster. “She took us to her office, took a look at our records, studies, everything,” Cillian heard her taking a deep breath, “babe, it turns out we were in some kind of blacklist.”

Silence filled the call, Cillian inhaled deeply. “Why?”

“This is horrible but… have you noticed how celebrities go to places like Nigeria or Africa to adopt?”

Cillian kicked a rock he found on his way, processing that piece of information. “Yeah?”

“I don’t know about the adoption process over there, but apparently it’s easier, no questions asked and overnight, they’ve a child, we’ll thanks to that, the kind of surroundings to these celebrities lifestyle they practically catalogued us in that list so we’d never ever get the adoption finalized.” Yael’s words came out rushed.

Cillian felt a vein in his temple pulsing. “Are you telling me because I’m an actor, they practically rejected our application without telling us?”

The realization of his own words made his heart sink to the ground. Not getting the chance to move forward with the adoption process and his wife’s sadness was his fault?

Misery took over him.

“Hold on, I know what you’re thinking.” Yael interrupted his thoughts. “Not everything is as bad as it seems, this woman, Barbara she told us, basically… she’s going to help us! I asked her what do we’ve to do in order to be out of the blacklist and she gave me hope Cill, she explained us a lot of things no one told us about and I understand the reasons why they just can’t give kids to whoever starts a process, but she said literally I know your Mother, and she was always kind to me and my sister, she gave us food when we had nothing, she shared her clothes with us too, I can imagine the kind of daughter she raised.”

Emotion took over her voice, it was impossible not to feel everything right in the surface.

“How are we so sure that they won’t make it harder because of what I do for a living?” He was still processing the impact his career had, never thought it would be a negative reason in the adoption.

“She assured us she’d take our case personally.”

Despite Yael’s words, Cillian still felt doubtful now. Feeling guilty that he was the reason of not being able to adopt a child.

“So what are we supposed to do now? We’ve been begging them for the interviews.”

Yael had been calling almost daily to get the appointments, and now he was able to understand why the process had been so hard, they were trying to push them back.

“Barbara told me she’d give me a call, but I guess we’ve to wait to hear the next steps.”

When her mother told her what the social worked mentioned during her interview, Yael felt deflated. Hearing the process could take years to finalize shattered her heart. But now there was a new chance to move things forward with Barbara behind their case.

Cillian stared into the huge garden, not paying attention to anything in particular.

“Are you still there?” His wife’s voice made him snap back into reality.

“Yeah… just thinking.”

He really wanted to feel her new enthusiasm and positivism, but he also couldn’t help but feel worried, what if they have to face new challenges in the process, all this bureaucracy because of his job? He wasn’t sure to be able to deal with the guilt of knowing that because of him the process could be harder or take longer than usual because he needs to prove that he isn’t like most of Hollywood stars.

This whole thing was a roller coaster, sometimes it was Yael the one feeling down, now it was his turn while she had her hopes up. He hated to admit it but it was draining.

“If you hear anything back, call me yeah? Or text me.” He added after a few seconds, not wanting to drag her down because of his attitude.

“Absolutely.”

“Listen, Steven wants to do some photos, so I think I’m going to change my flight… your Mum is already flying back, why don’t you come with her?”

Yael took her time, to consider her options. “How many days?”

“Just a couple, to get a few photos done.”

“Okay, let me organize my planner and see how can I reorganize the things I’ve scheduled and also I need someone to look after Scout.”

“I’ll call my brother, don’t worry.” He went on walking again, sitting on the edge of the fountain. “I really want to see you.”

She wanted the same, needed to feel him close.

Tag list: @lyarr24 @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan

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[imichelle-l-rigby]

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Season 3, episode 1

———————————————————————

*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

———————————————————————

And without further ado… my reflections!

🎵 Set 1 (24 Track Loop - Halleluhwah)

This seems to be all electronic music focused. He’s done entire episodes around electronic music before, so I’m enjoying the sampling. Great way to start!

I also remember him saying somewhere that he takes time creating sets of music. I appreciate that and it helps the flow and continuity so much.

Side note - it’s taken me a looooong time to appreciate electronic music, but thanks to Cillian, I now can say I like it

24 Track Loop: reminds me of the first composers to play with recorded sampling compositions in the ‘50s (Varèse comes to mind), but the “track loop” is reminiscent of early minimalist recordings in the late ‘60s, especially with how repetitive some of the sounds become.

Diskhat: yeah, I’m definitely getting ‘50s experimentalist vibes! Reminds me of John Cage’s prepared piano pieces (and honestly it may be quoting some but I’m not sure so this is a guess), but mixed with some funky grooves! As weird as this is, it’s growing on me and I kinda really like it!

Halleluhwah: nice vamp at the beginning 😎 this is definitely something that could get stuck in my head and I wouldn’t mind it!

🎤 Talking break:

I missed hearing him talk about music!!! 😊

“It’s been a minute now”

How many times can he say “back” in a 5 second time span??? 😂😅

“… very amenable to light housework.” Great! Do you think if I ask nicely he’ll come clean my house while I’m at work??? 😂

When he’s talking about the above 3 songs, the “insistency” is so true. They all have elements of a continuous underlying pulse, which is pretty common in electronic and minimalist music.

I do find fault with his term “atonality” - atonal music has no pitch center, but the pieces just played DO have a pitch center.

“Turtles have short legs - which they do!”

🎵 Set 2 (fix-Guns of Brixton)

Fix: not my favorite song, but peaceful. I neither like nor dislike

Guns of Brixton: ok but this has been stuck in my head since I heard it 😂 I really like it!

🎤Talking break:

Yes Cill, covers are so appreciated!

🎵Set 3 (Look Down From the Bridge - Pale Blue Eyes)

Look down: nice, chill. Again, not my favorite, but I don’t dislike it. Interesting instrument choices. 👍

Pale Blue Eyes: I like everything about this except for his voice. I wish I liked it, but I don’t. 🤷‍♀️ if I had to describe it, his voice sounds thin, and the voice teacher within me wants more.

These songs seem like great examples of storytelling within music, so I definitely see why Cillian likes them.

🎤Talking break:

He sounds so pleased knowing his factoids 😂😂😂 never change, Cillian!

Drella is my favorite thing now! 😂

🎵Set 4 (No No - Three Drums)

No No: why isn’t this mentioned in the track list??? THIS IS AMAZING AND I AM LOVING THE POLYRHYTHMS! I’m having so much fun rhythmically that I can’t even focus on the lyrics I have no idea what they’re saying 😂😂. ✨ This is prob my fave song of this episode. ✨

The way these songs blend into the next is so satisfying 😌

Three Drums: I like how this is a “cool down” from the craziness of No No, but also pairs really well. Nice and chill. It’s a feel good song and such a vibe. 😎

🎤Talking Break

THE TERRIBLE IDENT RETURNS!!! 😆

Sugar is a great song!

The exclusive - omg 😳😂

*whisper* exclusive

🎵Set 5 (All Your Fails)

All Your Fails: If bop is still a term, this is a bop! *dancing along* 💃 but seriously, the vocal line has so many upward leaps that it reminds me of a lot of boppy pop music. I’m digging this!

To be fair, I tend to like Broken Social Scene, so it makes sense I’m into All Your Fails.

🎤Talking Break

The way he says “woo” without any enthusiasm 😂

🎵Set 6 (It’s Love - Minor Meditations)

It’s Love: ok, I’m in love! 😍😍😍 acoustic guitar is beautiful, and I’m enjoying these harmonies.

Minor Meditations: nice segue with the acoustic guitar selections. 👍 the title is cute and punny, too! AND THE PICARDY THIRD AT THE END!!! 😎

🎤Talking Break

“… excellent! … wahoo wahoo wahoo”

🎵Set 7 (Wahoo - Where Did Our Love Go)

Wahoo: for a song with such a happy title, this was quite bluesy in terms of lyrics! And the funk and jazz bits - What a twist!!! 🙀

Girl group power!!!!!!! I love listening to artists recall how hits came to be.

Where Did Our Love Go: YES I LOVE THE SUPREMES!!!! 😍😍😍

🎤Talking Break

As much as he talks about W. Kerry, I feel like I need to go! It sounds gorgeous!

🎵Set 8 (To War - Jah Nuh Dead)

To War: this guy is playing the fire out of the concertina! 🔥

Side note - I am sooooo into traditional music! It’s one of the things I study, and many composers find inspiration from traditional music of various regions. I have such respect for the genre that I could go on, but I won’t to save y’all’s sanity 😅

Again, the transitions between songs are soooo well done!

Master Crowley’s: the drone and pedal points are so effective! The inclusion and intentional omission actually do a lot in building momentum. It’s also so cool how eventually everything fades into the background and you’re left with just sonorities, and then you go back and get a mix of everything! 💯

Jah Nuh Dead: Sinéad!!! I hadn’t heard this song before, and it’s absolutely beautiful and haunting. It takes a special person to keep you captivated and carry their own against such bare/sparse accompaniment. She has such a unique voice. She’ll truly be missed.

I’m guessing this is the Irish set 🍀

🎤Talking Break

Ya gotta love it when he fangirls over bands!

SINÉAD!!!!!!

🎵Set 9 (Fairlies)

Fairlies: so this is what happens when Irish musicians go to HOT climates? Jk jk 😂 no, I really like this. Some interesting lyrics!

🎤Talking Break

I kinda miss flip phones.

🎵Set 10 (I Am A River)

I Am A River: this is a bright song, and I mean that in terms of timbre. All the instruments and even the vocals are very ☀️☀️☀️ it definitely paints an image in your head/imagination

🎤Talking Break

No!! Don’t shut up! I love your rambles!

“Aylesbury Boy, in a kinda animated buffalo character” - what on earth does they mean??? Bullwinkle???

🎵Set 11 (Aylesbury Boy)

Aylesbury Boy: I’ll be honest, I don’t like this. It’s got a lot of funny words in it, a decent background rhythm, but it’s not my jam.

🎤Talking Break

Ok, an album of covers is a great idea.

“Stop talking. Listen to it” 😂

🎵Set 12 (Three Hours)

Three Hours: I’m really digging the backing track. It’s got some fun sound effects, but what I really like is the driving rhythm against this free-flowing vocal line. Nice contrast!

🎤Talking Break

I like how he talks more as the show goes on 😂

New content! 🙀

“Outrageously reasonable questions”

I’ll be honest, the non-advent music calendar confuses me 😅

“Cardboard aperture”

THE IDENT. OMG.

🎵Set 13 (O Barquinho - Till the Morning Comes)

O Barquinho: yep! This is bossa nova!

Till the Morning Comes: the piano and other background music reminds of Penny Lane 😂😂😂 I genuinely can’t even listen to the song properly because I keep expecting Paul McCartney to burst in with some vocals 😂😂😂😂

🎵Talking Break

Oh dear. We’ve gotten to the experimental poetry part of the show! This could be good or bad 😅

“I like jazz for the principle of what jazz is” - Nordine

Well Nordine, if that’s your stance, then I appreciate your performance of Coral for the principle of what it is, as a non-musical reinterpretation of jazz.

“A flight of musical fantasy within structure.” Ya know, not a bad definition of jazz. You do improvise over a pre-arranged chord progression, so that makes sense!

🎵Set 14 (Coral - nightclub)

Coral: not gonna lie, this is my least favorite selection of the show. HOWEVER, I will give credit where it’s due! I do appreciate that he’s got word plays, puns, and other poetic devices all over the place. That stuff mimics some of the techniques you’ll find throughout jazz. Now what’s really cool is the background music - you can hear bits and pieces influenced from different eras of jazz, such as New Orleans, swing, some bebop, and more modern stuff as well! Even though I hate it, I appreciate what it does.

Also, I first thought this song was a cheesy ad 😂😅 I definitely can tell he’s a voice actor

Nightclub: I like this a lot! Crazy how it goes from insanity to something really sweet, funny, and enjoyable. The background music is so ethereal and although a bit random, it’s great! The contradiction is like “salty and sweet” snacks. It shouldn’t work, but it does. Although I guess it mirrors some of the temporary images in the poem, like the smoke disappearing.

🎤Talking Break

Whoa. Cillian put the backing track in?! Good choice, dude!

🎵Set 15 (Remember Begum Rokheya)

Remember: ok I love this!!!! Polyrhythms galore, and the instrument pairings are so much fun! 😍

🎤Talking Break

“Approachable mellow” - does this mean there’s mellow stuff that isn’t approachable? I’d love to hear an example

🎵Set 16 (I Smile for E)

I Smile for E: I like the contrast between verse and chorus. Going from a minor key to major gives an auditory version of “smiling” nice touch! But I’ll be honest - idk why this is more “approachable” than other mellow songs 😅😂

🎤Talking Break

I’m not sure he’s saying “Hinoki” correctly. It looks Japanese to me? But idk. I’m not an expert and he’s definitely more informed than I am

“Useful music” - isn’t all music useful in some way? 🤔

🎵Set 17 (Hinoki Wood - Woman In Late)

Hinoki Wood: an interesting choice of instrument. You can tell it’s an old upright that needs a bit of maintenance, but it does have some charm.

Woman In Late: ok, so we are back to the tape loop concepts seen at the beginning of the show! Kinda cool how he’s circling back. Anyway, the “tape loop,” or looping of small lengths of recorded tape, was a thing done at the beginning of the minimalist trend in the ‘60s (think Reich or Riley) to create this fuzzy sound effect seen here. I love how you hear that influence in so many corners of the music world!

🎤Talking Break

“Delicious”

What???! The last song??? 😭😭😭

Yay! New music!

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 18 (Unknown Summer)

Unknown Summer: I’m digging it 😎 This has some amazing dissonant vocals and it is soooooo satisfying. I don’t like the crackle effect in the background, but it does help build this “distortion” they’re building in the song. It’s kinda fun to put that distortion against the “clear” blue skies. I see what ya did there… 😂

———————————————————————

Ah! That’s the end!!!

Thank you so much for reading all this. I honestly can’t believe anyone is interested in my rambles. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I’ll write again next week for episode 2!

Tag list:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

[notyour-valentine]

One Thousand Follower Celebration ~ Masterlist

[Celebration] [Overall Masterlist]

This is the Masterlist for my One Thousand Follower Celebration of both my works and the incredibly contributions of others:

👠Ask me to Dance👠 (Blurb/One Shot)

"They are all looking" - Tommy Shelby x Reader

"People are always more honest at night" - Tommy Shelby x Reader

"I live, which is the main point" - Tommy Shelby x Reader

"I want to understand you." - Dad!Tommy Shelby

"Money is the God of our time" - Tommy Shelby x Reader

"Never kiss a fool" - Tommy Shelby x Reader

"There is only one thing on earth worse than English Music and that is English Painting" - Tommy Shelby & Reader

"You are haunted by your dreams" ~ Tommy Shelby x Reader (Fluff/Angst)

"My child, I fear it will end horribly" ~ Tommy Shelby

"To speak and to speak well are two different things " ~ Tommy Shelby x Reader

"Champagne - it's like a mistress: sparkling, flighty, vivacious, wayward - and not to be trusted" ~ Tommy Shelby & daughter!Reader

"It is a common phenomenon that just the prettiest girls find it so difficult to get a man" - modern!Tommy x Reader

"The question remains: how?" - modern! Tommy x Reader

"God will forgive me. It is his job" ~ Alfie Solomons x Reader

"I was born for a peaceful life" - Arthur Shelby & Reader

"Never let a fool kiss you" ~ John Shelby & Reader

"The more I get to know people, the more I like dogs" - Polly Gray x fem!Reader

"No Talent, yet a character" ~ Polly Gray x fem!reader

"A woman is at once the apple and serpent" ~ Lizzie Stark & fem!Reader

"They drink wine and preach water" ~ Lizzie Stark & fem!reader

A moment's peace ~ Gif Blurb: Tommy x Reader

🍷Join me for a Drink 🍷(Headcanon)

Modern!Tommy Shelby

John x aristocratic!Reader

Ada x female lover

Lizzie x female lover

Arthur's happy life in the country

TBITW: PDA

TBITW: What the family thinks

TBITW: Horse riding lessons

TBITW: Tommy comforting Emma

TBITW: Calling them Mummy/Daddy

TBITW: Marriage

TBITW: Another child

TBITW: Grown Emma and Charlie

WTDMS: Wildcard Headcanon Charlotte

✨Be the Belle of the Ball✨ (Submission)

Moonboard Submissions

The Boy in the Window ~ by @polishcrazyone

Story Submissions

A reveal ~ "As good a place as any" (Tommy Shelby x Reader) by @runnning-outof-time

A forever memory ~ "Ain't she sweet" (Tommy Shelby x Reader ft. Charlie) by @look-at-the-soul / @thats-what-cill-said

A place one is not supposed to be ~ "An unexpected guest" (Tommy Shelby x Solomons!Reader) by @cillmequick

A promise ~ "Hide 'n' seek" (Alfie Solomons x Shelby!Reader) by @raincoffeeandfandoms

An admission ~ "Tip of my Tongue" (Tommy Shelby x Reader) by @gypsy-girl-08

A creepy portrait/ a rumour ~ "The Portrait" (Tommy Shelby) by @zablife

A risk ~ "Risk Taker" (Tommy Shelby x Reader) by @noforkingclue

An inappropriate giggle ~ "The Funny Girl" (Tommy Shelby x OC) by @thebathatter

A place one is not supposed to be ~ "An unholy Alliance" (Tommy Shelby x OC by @evita-shelby

~

Thank you so much for participating in my celebration - I hope you enjoyed!

[harmslength]

Rules: 🎶✨when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favourite follower🎶✨

Thank you for the tag dear @kiss-me-cill-me 💕💘

I’m going to try and follow the original rules because I can’t think of enough movie/tv/game based songs. But this is just what’s been on repeat for the past week.

I Want You by Kings of Leon

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Like That by Future, Metro Boomin, Kendrick Lamar

To You by Andy Shauf

Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number by Aaliyah

No pressure tag to @cillianhead !! And to everyone else who wants to do this :) 💗

[cillianslvt]

Rules: 🎶✨when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favourite follower🎶

Mascara by Deaftones

Cowboy like me by Taylor Swift

Casual by Chappell Roan

Nothing matters by The Last Dinner Party

Zombie by The Cranberries

this was so hard to choose lmao @kiss-me-cill-me thanks for the tag 🫶

[cilletje]

OML ANTANIA! I AM CRYING NOW! oml, you’re the absolute sweetest person ever! i can’t believe you took the time to write me a letter! gosh you’re so sweet and i wish i could give you the biggest hug right now! there’s nothing better than getting a handwritten letter. i always do what, because it’s just so personal and such a nice gesture and this made me smile like an idiot! i would say we’ve been mutuals since the one year anniversaries too, and it’s been such a joy! i’ve loved following you too with your gifs and videos, which always take me by suprise, because they’re so creative and you’re so talented! there’s a reason why i call you the gurney over overlays! and thank you so much for everything you said too! it made me so emo but in the best way, thank you! i would have written this answer too, but i’m not home right now, but ahhh thank you so much for this dear antania! sending you lots of hugs and kusjes and an infinite amount of love! 💛✨

[birthdaysentiment]

Hiiii Cille!! 💕💕 I started reading Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World, and I had to come over here (bc I know you’ve read it) and share that I think I’m going to die of angst. I forgot how angsty Ari is. Just…wow. And this novel is deep in such a different way. Some of it is downright painful. Every time I wanna quit bc the angst is giving me anxiety (that happens to me sometimes) something absolutely beautiful and surprising happens. It’s a very lovely book, but Ari is intense.

I hope you don’t mind me coming over here and randomly talking about a book. ☺️💕📚 I hope you’re having a lovely day and are reading something wonderful!! 🥰

aww ally! the way i smiled when i saw your ask this morning! and i don't mind at all, i absolutely love talking about books, so you're always more than welcome to drop by with an ask or some of your thoughts about a book, or whatever really <333

i was so excited for the ari and dante sequel, because after reading the first book i just needed more, especially with the way it ended. i just needed more of them and their relationship. idk how long you are with the sequel, so i'll not be saying too much (... don't want to spoil hehe), but so much happens in it, like damn. tbh i think it was maybe a 100-150 pages too long... the middle part of the book is a little long to get through, but other than that i loved it! i love how we got to see more of ari and dante's relationship - all it's different sides and how they're there for each other in different situations too. i love how we get to see more of ari's family dynamic. but beside the ari and dante content, i absolutely loved ari's journey and growth throughout the book. it's so rare you get to see a character evolve like that, and how all the different events change him and influence him... i just really love that about the book!

but i agree with you that it's angsty. considering the time in which the books take place in and in the period ari is in his life, it's kinda understandable, but it also makes it hard to read. for me, it was more the end that was hard for me to get through (... you'll see why), but even though it was hard, it was still amazing, so yeah this book can definitely fock you up, because you never know what to expect... whether the angst is there to stay or not. but let me know when you've finished reading it, because I would love to hear your thoughts on it. and lots of hugs and kusjes to you too ally! <333

[fatoujallovv]

hiii ellie! ahhh it’s been a long time, but i just wanted to drop by to say, that i’m absolutely loving your heartstopper gifsets! you’re so freaking talented and all your ideas are so cool and so original too, like i’m just speechless sometimes. thank you for blessing us all with your talent! much love and hugs to you! 💛✨

oh my god cille thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are just the sweetest omg 💛💛💛 i’ve missed making gifs so i’m glad i caught the heartstopper hyperfixation and got back into it lol 🤪 i’m so happy you’ve been liking my sets that means so much!!!!!!

[letisnotonfire]

hiii ana... my dear! i'm just here to send some love and good vibes your way, because you deserve that, for being such an amazing and lovely human being! i hope you're doing well, that life is treating you the very best, that you're surrounded with everything that makes you happy! and that you're enjoying the spring and sun as well! sending lots and lots of hugs and kusjes to you! <333

Cille you sweet human I've missed you and your asks so much🥺😔💕 I've been doing generally well! Uni has been messing up my free time and sleeping schedule for a while now but I think I've been managing to make the most of it and even have fun with the projects wywtwywyw so yeah life's been a little chaotic with a lot of things on my to do list but still good, and every time I get to hang out with my friends it gets better 💞 I miss being more active here and interacting with my beloved mutuals tho 😩😩😩 maybe once my semester ends who knows...

Sorry about the little oversharimg, I have a problem giving straight answers lmaoo I hope you're having the best time possible, I'm always wishing you the best 💕💕💕 SENDING YOU LOTS OF HUGS AND KUSJES FOR YOU AS WELL 🫂

[darlingsfandom]

omg omg omg!!! Can we have a "time was never in our side" or like "The One Who Got Away" fic with Cillian (or any cill character) and Reader? btw, love your writing ❤

thank you baby doll✨

TW: cheating , not proofread! This is obviously an AU!

His eyes had to be playing tricks on him. He couldn’t believe that you were standing there in his favorite green dress with the little pink flowers on it, it was a dream! It was a dream! He convinced himself it was dream that you were standing there in that dress across the street smelling the flowers at the local flower shop.

He was standing in the middle of the street holding a bag of cheese from the small little shop he enjoyed visiting. Cillian watched you pick up a sunflower and examine it. Sunflowers were always your favorite. They made you smile so hard you’d get little crinkles on your face that he enjoyed. A feeling of sadness washed over him because this wasn’t a dream! You were really standing there holding a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers in your hands.

“Cillian? Are you alright?” His wife asked as he watched you. You looked so peaceful, full of life and somehow younger than he remembered.

“Yeah yeah just getting a little tired.” He turned to her and it hit him, he should’ve never married her. It was you! It’s been you. It’s always been you. You were his love and he had let you get away years ago. Things were great between the two of you but he never said “I love you” when he had the chance.

“Let’s get ya home yeah?” She pulled on his arm making him look back at you and it was as if the universe was listening because as he went to look at you, you were looking at him with confusion until he actually looked at him and a smile appeared on your lips. You gave a wave and he waved back. Lucky for him his wife was busy on her phone in that moment.

You walked across the street with confidence until he seen that he had a ring on his finger and her arm was looped through his, the smile fell off your face. You stopped just a few steps ahead of him before looking over your shoulder to see him looking back at you like a lost puppy.

Very quickly you looked in your purse, scribbled down your number on an old receipt and walked back towards him. His wife had her back turned him as she was talking on the phone. You put the crumbled paper in his back pocket. Both of you shared a look that made your heart flutter .

The night he dialed your number and prayed you answer.

“Hello?” You answered but the sound of your voice made his brain shut off.

“Hello?” You asked again and still no words. Was he really calling you while his wife was asleep in the other room? To be fair he had heard her talking to someone else a few nights ago and found a few texts to a number that wasn’t saved that made his blood boil .

“Look im hanging up n—“

“Wait! It’s me.” He spoke up in a panic.

“Cillian? I’m surprised.”

“Well ya gave me yer number and in front of my wife…”

“I figured , she seems … lovely ?” You forced the word out.

“Yeah I guess ya could say dat… but if she was why would I be callin ya?”

“I don’t know Cillian , why are you calling me? You could’ve just thrown my number away. You must’ve felt what I did earlier .”

“I miss ya okay, I miss us..”

“There’s wasn’t an us cillian ! You wouldn’t open up to me! I waited for so long and you ran away! And now you’re happily married while my loser of boyfriend is cheating on me and you know the sad part…” you hiccuped With anger…

“I caught him in the act! With your wife! That’s right! Soon as I seen you with her I couldn’t keep that information in! You deserve better!”

“Yer messing with me! There’s no way she’s dining that!”

“Oh yeah? Follow her to her gym class tomorrow at 4pm! Call me then you asshole!” And with that you hung up. Cillian couldn’t believe it. He knew about the text and pictures and calls but how in the hell did it end up to be your husband ? How did the universe manage that.

Cillian waited for his wife to leave before he followed her to her class. He watched her enter only to leave a few minutes later with another man. He ran his hands over his face before he gave you another call.

“Hello?”

“Ya were right … I’m sorry”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault.”

Cillian sighed into the phone while rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Can ya meet me somewhere?” He asked.

“I’m outside the gym.” Cillian popped up and looked around. You were sitting in a chair on the patio of the bakery next door. He hung up and ran to you. You were stirring your drink slowly while kicking your foot in the air .

“Did you know I was going to be here?” He asked as he sat across from you.

“I had a feeling. You always let your curious side get the best of you.” You flicked the straw before sitting up straight.

“So what happens now?”

“That’s up to you Cill! I have divorce papers ready on the counter since I know he’s taking her back to our place. You could stay married or divorce her. Oh! Would you look at that?” Your phone started to ring.

“How may I help you?” You smirked.

“What the fuck are these papers?” Cillian heard him screaming through your phone.

“Oh those , those are called divorce papers honey! Did fucking her make you too stupid to read?”

“I’m not , what are you talking about ?” He was trying to deny it.

“I bet in about a minute her phone is going to ring.” Cillian took the hint and called her. You put your phone on speaker as your husband went silent when the sound of the phone ringing was loud.

“Hi honey !” Echoed through Cillians phone.

“Where are you?” He asked and she could hear all the non sense happening.

“I umm..”

“I wouldn’t lie if I were ya, I know you’re sleeping with my friends husband. You’re looking at him being yelled at about divorce papers right now because of you! And guess what, you’re getting some too! So ya two can have each other.” Cillian hung up and so did you!

You and Cillian had been apart for over five years and now the universe brought you back together with cheating spouses to reconnect the two of you. The universe was a funny thing because this was his second chance to make things right with you ! This was his time to show you how important you really are!

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot- Part 46

Cillian Murphy x OC

Series Master List 2014, 2015

♥️ Yael & Cillian are back! And I think it’s starting to look better for them… so after reading about adoption in Ireland I realized it’s an average of 18 months 😔 sometimes longer, guess around the world it’s pretty similar, for fiction purposes there will be an adoption fairy 🧚 along the way… my heart and thoughts are with those dealing with the long and tedious process ♥️✨

A/N: @ Nivea just send a DM for my PayPal, you’re welcome 🧴😂

Photo credits: stok4me

“But-” Yael started, quickly to be interrupted by Jenna.

“No buts accepted and hurry because I’m almost around the corner and I’m going to start honking real loud.” Jenna stated calmly.

Cillian frowned as he was opening a box of strawberries, he mouthed a what happened to his wife.

“Jenna…”

“No, I know how you remember? And I’m just stealing you away for an hour or two.”

Cillian loved to see the facial expressions his wife made, so he squeezed her hip with one hand while with the other he popped a strawberry into his mouth.

“Okay, yeah I can do that.”

“Hey your hubby won’t get lost or anything.” Jenna joked, knowing by a phone call during the last days since they reconnected at the theater how special was the bond between the Murphy’s. “See you! Muah!” Jenna added before hanging up.

Hanging up, there was a smile on her face.

“So, your friend’s stealing my wife for the rest of the day?” He offered Yael a strawberry, to which she promptly accepted.

“We’ve a lot to catch up on.”

Cillian took a few steps back, sensing something in her words. “But?”

“Cill, we’re in the middle of the adoption process, well not the middle but at the beginning what if the social worker calls? What if they ask for some papers?”

“Love it’s almost lunch time, if they haven’t call yet I doubt they’re going to call in the next thirty minutes, this is a slow process… just go, if anything extraordinary happens I’ll call you.”

“You promise?” Yael asked, watching her husband nod.

“Now go, before Jenna starts honking.” Cillian tilted his head towards the door as Scout was already barking at nothing. “I’ll spend the rest of the day with the script.”

“Alright so it looks like I’m not needed around, right Scoutty?” She added a pout for an extra dramatic answer right before opening the door.

“There you’re!” Jenna greeted Yael and then her husband. “You don’t mind if I take her for a coffee right?”

Cillian shook his head, hands on his hips. He loved to see his wife do her own things, she needed some kind of independence because soon he’d be back to film the new season. So he waved at them from the door and locked it, but after maybe ten or fifteen minutes, he heard the front door open again and voices in the hallway.

“Cill? You need to hear this.” Yael gave him a look he knew too well by now as she walked with Jenna following her steps. “Jenna’s brother, Zach, he and his wife adopted a few years ago.” Yael explained guiding Jenna and their conversation to the kitchen, where she started preparing coffee and tea.

“Yael just told me that you guys are starting the adoption process, but from I’ve heard just like my brother and his wife, no one cares to explain that you’re taking the long way. And this is key to get the approval, first you need to book a case worker they will pay you guys a visit to see the environment.”

“They told us they don’t have appointments right now, that it could take several months.” Cillian explained to Jenna as he took a seat at the table.

“That’s your first problem, you can book a case worker through an agency and you get the visit scheduled between three maybe four weeks max, and it’s so twisted because it’s the same social worker from the other process but via the private agency you get it done faster because you’re paying for it.”

Yael poured the tea for Jenna and another cup for her husband before getting her coffee.

“I can’t believe no body told us all of this.”

“My brother didn’t know this either, he heard it from another couple who had already adopted a child and then they wanted to adopt another kid.” Jenna explained. “I’m going to send you his phone later because you can ask him or his wife anything about the process, having someone you can lean onto it’s the best thing you can do. So after you’ve the home study approval you’ll get a call for a formal interview and they will ask you again the same boring questions and ask you to book an appointment with family and closest people so they can sort of testify they know you and support you through this process.”

“It could’ve been months and we’ve still be walking in circles if you didn’t tell us.” Yael gave her friend a grateful look.

“And what do we need to get the home study approval?” Asked Cillian leaning his forearms on the table.

“Long story short, the social worker won’t care about luxury, you don’t have to tidy up everything, they just have to make sure you are able to provide enough for the kid you will adopt.”

“Just that? Really?” Yael was surprised. “I was thinking the social worker would be looking for something bad to point it out.”

“Like what? You have a pile of clothes in the laundry? Or that there are bottles out of place in your shower? No.” Jenna made a face and waved her hand as if dismissing Yael’s worries. “Think of this as those children come from an unsafe environment, they want to see your dynamic as a couple around the house, once you get approved everything is easier.”

“I’m so nervous, I thought we’d have the interviews first.” Yael stated while Cillian ran his hand up and down her back.

“Oh! You’ll need to choose carefully the people you want them to interview because they ask a lot of questions about the two of you.”

“I was thinking of Lee-Anne and my cousin Violet on my side.”

“Lee-Anne! How’s she doing?! If she comes let me know to hang out.” Jenna was excited.

“Do you know her too?” Cillian looked between his wife and her friend in confusion.

“Of course! She visited us a few days during that summer we spent in Seville and we had a great time together.”

“She told me to say hello to you.” Yael announced.

“Lovely,” Jenna smiled and started typing on her phone. “So I’m texting my brother, to give you his number or my sister in law’s… talk to them, ask all your doubts about the process. It helped them a lot back in the day to know someone who’s been through the same.”

“Thank you Jenna,” Yael placed her hand on her friend’s, “seeing you after all this time it’s been incredible and you can’t even imagine how much we value your help.”

“Please don’t thank m-”

“Thank you,” Cillian added this time, “you can’t even imagine all the help you’re giving us.”

As Yael went to give her friend a grateful hug, Cillian swallowed hard, feeling like they were finding a ray of sunshine in this path.

“Everything will work out for you guys. Now I’ve to go, but we can go to that new French café next week.” Jenna waved at them to leave.

“I’ll walk you, need to go for a photo shoot and don’t want to get stuck in the traffic.” While Jenna waited by the door, she turned to give her husband a kiss. “See you later, handsome.”

Taking her camera case, she rushed to her vehicle to guide Jenna out of their complex since it was a big confusing with the huge park and buildings full of apartments, she preferred this part surrounded by a few houses. Luckily her client of the day would be very easy to handle.

***

“Honey I’m home!” Yael shouted over the noise Scout was making for his excitement. “Where’s daddy?”

“I’m going to take a shower!” He answered from the second floor. After going out for a run at midday.

“Before you do that can you help me down here?”

She turned around to walk, but quickly moved back. “You’re going to like it, thanks!”

“Are you naked or what?” Cillian answered coming down, poking his head over to take a look.

“No you perv!” She giggled and motioned for him to follow her outside. “I got some goodies from today’s photoshoot. Might use those biceps for something good.” She slapped his bum playfully.

“You like it.” He sang giving her a smirk.

“Look at you, can I’ve some Tommy’s booty?”

Cillian laughed.

“Tommy wouldn’t let you out of the bedroom, trust me.” He replied letting his eyes roam over her body. “Sweetheart.” He added in that brummie accent that made her legs feel like jelly.

“Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Shelby?”

Cillian placed the boxes next to the stairs and sighed relieved. “Are you seducible?” He arched an eyebrow and his blue eyes sparkled with a mix of fun and desire.

“Just don’t tell my husband.” Yael joked, letting him kiss her neck.

“Want to join me in the shower?”

“It’s so tempting, but we need to hurry tho, the client asked me to meet her at five thirty o’clock to give her the photos.”

“Is it the divorced one?”

“Yeah, I loved how her session turned out, look.” She answered opening the envelop to show him the photos. “She looks stunning, so happy.”

Cillian stared at the images, realizing of the fantastic work his wife did and the sharp eye to spot all the details.

“If she looks that happy after the divorce, I guess she did the right choice.” He stated. “Give me five minutes.”

She saw him disappear and seconds later, heard the sound of the shower upstairs. In the mean time, she started the dishwasher.

Coming back downstairs a few minutes later with his hair wet, he sat on the chair to put on his shoes. “What’s all of that?” Cillian asked pointing at the boxes he had carried inside earlier.

“Nivea products, they had a ton at the photoshoot and gave me most of it at the end.” Yael explained watching him open one of the boxes full of shampoos, lotions, sunscreen bottles… she explained about a new line for men with moisturizer and aftershave lotion she wanted him to try.

The only demand Cillian had was that the lotion wouldn’t have a flower scent like one day he accidentally took her bottle and kept smelling like wild orchids. That day she teased him endlessly, asking if he was preparing for another female role.

“We’ve enough to not buy for over a year.”

“I know, I’m giving some to mum, you can ask your parents and siblings if they want something and the rest I was planning to give away to an orphanage.”

That caught Cillian’s attention.

“I was thinking we should get involved in some kind of adoption program, see what the centers need, donate something… we’ve a lot of things we don’t use, I can imagine they need basic toilettes, books, jackets…” Her eyes sparkled in a different way, he noticed. She was genuinely excited about it.

“You know what? That’s a great idea baby, let’s do it.”

Following Jenna’s advice, they got in contact with the same adoption agency her brother and sister in law hired to help them with the process, so after visiting the agency to request the home approval study, they now just had to wait for someone to show up at their house, check every corner and decide if they had a house worth enough to continue their journey to adopt. Every time the doorbell rang, her heart skipped a beat, thinking it might be the day.

“Scout do you wanna come with us?” Yael asked the black lab who started moving excitedly. “It’s been running in my mind, if we’re doing this, a little help won’t hurt, and on Christmas we can take toys and presents to give to the kids, I really need to do this.”

“Let’s organize something yeah? I might even get the production to donate something.”

That made her eyes light up, her heart beating with excitement to have Cillian’s support.

“I bought crayons and pencils last week but first I want to know how many kids there are and what they need.”

“That’s a good start, maybe we can make a list?”

“How about board games? And pillows I read on the newspapers one day of a retirement home for the elderly people and the mattresses had holes.” She explained with a sad expression.

“Let’s take one step at the time, we’ve to make a plan first. But we’re definitely doing this, I can’t wait to hear your idea.”

Touched by his encouragement, Yael wrapped her arms around his neck. Finding comfort in his embrace.

“I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

“I wouldn’t do this with anyone else.” He answered rubbing her back up and down with his hands. “Perhaps later we can make a little dinner with the family? And see if yours can make it?” Cillian moved away a rebel tray of hair from her face. “My Dad loves to make a BBQ you know.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had a big gathering. And we can explain about the interviews they’ll have.”

“Good idea, although you have nothing to worry about… they just want to get to know the family that will adopt.”

Yael nodded. “Still, I’m a bit nervous, you never know a bad joke could ruin the process and this is important.”

“They will realize we’re good candidates, but if this doesn’t work we can always try adoption in the UK as well or somewhere else.” He tried to sound positive.

“Can you take the trash outside please?” She gave him the same look when she asked him to bring the boxes inside.

Cillian chuckled rolling his eyes.

“What? You can’t really blame me, these steel biceps carried me upstairs last night and you didn’t even puffed.”

“You’re fucking hilarious.” Cillian ushered her out of the house, taking Scout’s leash.

Yael folded her arms in front of her chest. “Not fair, I’m giving you a compliment and you think I’m funny.”

“I’m laughing with you, that’s different… now let’s play that Tommy Shelby set list.”

“Oh! I’ve one more song…” Yael admitted searching on her notes. “Heard it on my way to the photoshoot, it’s called Gansta’s paradise by Coolio.”

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left

'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that

Even my momma thinks that my mind is gone

As she started playing the song, Cillian smiled the lyrics were just so fine, the tune immediately catching his attention.

I'm a educated fool with money on my mind

Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye

I'm a loc'd out gangsta, set trippin' banger

And my homies is down, so don't arouse my anger

“Definitely a great choice, you know I did this when I filmed Sunshine? But I had to like download the songs and make a CD on my own.”

“Really? You sound like that was ages ago, what songs did you use for that?”

“Anything that had the word sun.” Cillian chuckled at the sudden memory.

“I like this method you use to get into character.” Yael admitted clicking on her phone. “Listen to this one, I think it’s a good fit too.”

Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

It's been a loveless year

I'm a man of three fears

Integrity, faith and

Crocodile tears

And bad liar by Imagine dragons started playing then…

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Yael smiled.

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

I'm a bad liar, bad liar

“You think Tommy is a bad liar?” Cillian asked.

“Definitely he simply doesn’t care about anything as long as he gets what he wants.”

“He cares about his family.” He stated justifying Tommy’s actions.

“He probably has good intentions behind, like deep down, but he used May and now will marry someone else. Look don’t get me wrong, he made a couple of bad decisions and hurt people in the process. But he can’t help it because he’s been hurt as well.”

Cillian loved to hear his wife’s thoughts, there was something about her point of view that made him see things differently.

—-

Yael looked at the strange car parked in front of her house, they weren’t expecting visitors and she didn’t recognize the vehicle, just as she was stepping out of her car, her cellphone rang.

“Hey love!” Cillian’s sweet voice called for her. “Are you taking long?”

“I’m-”

“The case worker is here.” He added before she could explain anything else.

Her heart stopped beating, or at least she couldn’t feel it anymore, her palms felt sweaty suddenly. It had been a week since they submitted their home study application but she kept waiting eagerly for this moment.

“I just arrived.”

“Oh! Grand,” she then heard some interference and his voice mumbling, “she’s parking.”

Taking a deep breath, she walked into her home not knowing what would happen or how this visit would go.

“There you are!” Cillian walked towards his wife to greet her, a glimpse of fear in his eyes. “Called you a few times.”

“Hello, sorry I lost signal and didn’t get your call,” then turning to face the woman wearing a professional suit, she introduced herself. “Thank you for coming, I’m Yael Murphy.”

“Deborah O’Connor.” She looked at them as if she was studying their every move.

Cillian scratched his head nervously. “I was just telling her how we’ve handled all of the paperwork already.”

“Good, now how about I explain this process? I’ll need you to show me the house and answer a few questions.” She informed them nonchalantly.

“Where’s Scout?” Yael asked noticing he didn’t come to greet her.

“In the back garden, as Mrs. O’Connor, requested.”

“I’m not very fond of pets.”

Yael wanted to ask what was the matter with her, it was about to rain any minute now and he didn’t enjoy being outside on his own. But she swallowed her disapproval.

“We’ve a guest bedroom, our master bedroom, the telly room and the room we think to well… our kid.” Her eyes searched for Cillian who gave her a reassuring nod.

“These stairs lead to?” The woman wasn’t looking at them, her eyes were fixed on her notes.

“The attic, I turned it into my photography study.” Yael explained moving her hand to let her know she could go upstairs. “And I keep the Christmas boxes there as well.” Feeling Cillian’s hand on her back she looked at him, finding a warm smile reassuring her.

“Your husband mentioned you’re a photographer.”

“The best.” Interjected Cillian.

“Yes, that’s how we met too.” Yael but her lower lip unsure of how much information should she share.

“And you’re an actor.” The case worker paced around the attic, looking at everything and nothing in specific at the same time, taking notes, stealing glances at them.

“Yeah.”

“So you travel a lot.”

“When it’s requested yes, for testing, casting or the project itself.”

“And you’re on your own while it lasts? Is it months?” She looked at Yael. “How does the dynamic works?”

“It depends on the schedule and time the filming will last, for example for the next project I’ll film in Manchester and I’ve the weekends off.” Cillian explained.

“So he’ll come back one weekend, I’ll go over there the next and so on.” Yael added.

Mrs. O’Connor seemed fixed in her notes.

Cillian and Yael exchanged one more look, debating if they should explain more.

“She’s involved in this project so that will help us spend more time together, she’ll be part of the photography team.

“And my family lives there.”

“How would that change if you get approved for the application?”

“I’d take our kid and dog over there as much as possible, phone calls whenever he’s not filming.”

“And what about school?” They followed Mrs. O’Connor downstairs.

“That’d be a priority, we’d work the travel around school of course.”

They watched as the woman stared at a room in particular, so Cillian offered her to walk in there.

“This is our reading room,” he explained feeling dumb because the shelves were full of books but he was a bit nervous, “we spend a lot of time here, right love?”

Yael nodded. “Talking, reading books, taking in the view this part of the house it’s probably my favorite.”

“Do you rent or own the house?” The case worker asked studying their non verbal answers.

“It’s ours.” Cillian answered.

“And who payed for it?”

“He did.” Answered Yael this time.

“But it’s under her name.” He completed. He felt his stomach like a big knot, remembering Jenna’s words that they’d get a lot of personal questions. “And she bought the Manchester apartment and a cottage that her parents gave us a wedding gift which we both use while we stay there.”

“Tell me about the financial load, please.”

Yael swallowed, she knew Cillian hated talking about money. “We’ve a joint account for savings and emergency, another joint account for projects together like vacations, house renovations, bills, insurance… and then each has a separate personal account for well, personal projects.”

“Communication and financial agreement is important.” Mrs. O’Connor finally spoke.

“Now… tell me about yourself, both individually and as a couple.” They walked into the living room taking a seat, she looked at how in sync they moved, his arm behind her shoulders, resting on the couch, her hand on his knee. “And most importantly, why do you want to adopt.”

Giving this woman a good impression was key, the decision if they were suitable and responsible enough to take care of a child was on her hands and notes practically. The adoption process was stressful enough by itself, now meeting someone for an hour and get to convince that person to provide the approval they needed to take the following steps was enough to keep them up at night.

Sharing one look and they both decided to speak from their hearts. Whatever it might come out, it wouldn’t be nothing but the truth anyways.

****

Next part

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[unhappilysane]

hiii dharaa... my dear! i'm here to send some love and good vibes your way, because you deserve that, for being such an amazing and lovely human being! i hope you're doing well, that life is treating you the very best, that you're surrounded with everything that makes you happy! and that you're enjoying the spring and sun as well! sending lots and lots of hugs and kusjes to you! <333

Hi babbyyyyy!!!!

Oh my gosh it’s been sooooooo long since we talked!!

First of all, thank you for saying all that 😭🥺♥️. I am doing really good at this moment! I am back home with my parents for a lil bit then I will go back to my uni! It’s just been v busy but I am doing really good and just hoping to get done with my dissertation 🥲🥲

How are you doing cille? It’s so lovely of you to drop by! I am sorry it took so long! I was working and then travelling

I hope you are doing good as well! Staying happy and chilling! Love your other insta account 🥺😭 so pretty and aesthetic!!!! 🎉

[shiva-baby]

jules... you're the sweetest person ever and everytime I see your tags to my posts I just want to give you the biggest hug ever, so I'm sending you the world's biggest hug! ily! much love and happiness to you! <333

cille! thank you! but actually YOU are the sweetest person ever! sending you the biggest hug back! <3 thank you for always being so kind to me, and creating the best stuff!!!! ily back. ❤️❤️❤️

[maggielindemanns]

ahhh dyamond! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY DEAR! hope you've had the most amazing birthday so far, filled with everything you could wish for and more, because it's what you deserve! you're such a sweet and kind person, so creative and talented, so kind and this place wouldn't be the same without you! hope this year will treat you well and that you'll feel so loved and cherished. sending lots of hugs and kusjes to you! <333

cille 🥺🥺🥺 you are so sweet and kind i am Emotional thank you so so so so much for all your love and kindness i love youuuu 💛💛💛💛💛

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

hiii ally! just dropping by to give you some love, because that last fic you posted was so good, it left my heart a fluttering mess and my cheeks was hurting for smiling so much! one of my favorite things about robbe and sander is how they're showing their love, especially with robbe through his touch (the same with sander), and I feel like you captured that so well, it made me so emotional. I also saw you were thinking about writing a part two where robbe is winning, and that would just be the most amazing thing ever! love your writing so much, and just thank you for keep blessing us with your sobbe fics, they truly are such a gift! much love to you! <333

CILLE 💕💕 Heyyyy omg you’re so sweet! AFSJSGSJSGKSJDKS THANK YOU!!! This means the world to me. I’m so glad you enjoyed it and that it made you feel things. I get so emotional thinking about how they express themselves with one another and just how well they compliment each other. Like they’re exactly what the other needs and it’s so beautiful and perfect (and that’s kind of what I was trying to express in the fic—within the whole koala Robbe concept of course 😂—so yay). And yesss, after so many ppl commented about wanting Robbe to win (I actually started to feel really guilty 😳😆 tho I would argue that him losing is more in character, at least to me and my hcs lol), I kinda wanted to see him win too. So now I’m trying to figure out how that would work. I can see sander losing for completely different and just as in character reasons. Maybe I’ll have something out by New Year’s. We’ll see. 🙃🙃🙃

Thank you for being so lovely and thinking to drop in and make me smile. 🥰 I smiled as soon as I saw your ask and haven’t stopped since. As always, I’m so glad you enjoy my fics. Hopefully the ideas keep coming bc my plan is to keep writing. Thank youuuuu💕💕💕✨