#churro using tumblr as a diary

[thatone-churro]

you ever just

accidentally rediscover something that used to be your favorite thing in the world from almost five years ago and somehow still remember almost everything about it and want to talk about it but you’re scared you’ll be mocked or laughed at because it’s a “kids thing” but you just??? genuinely still enjoy it???

no? just me? okay

[thatone-churro]

i think that’s one of the reasons i hate crying over things, especially crying in front of people. whenever i would cry over something (from the dumb, little things to some big-for-a-little-kid things), my dad would always tell me to not cry. like, that was his “consolation” and i would get scolded if i continued to. now i bottle things up and break down, but i make sure to do it in the confines of my room late at night so i don’t get scolded for crying over something “small” (even if it’s not) because i felt “conditioned” that a lot of things i went through were small and not worth tears, but i hardly know what is properly worth tears.

the amount of people in the notes with similar (and worse) stories is honestly heartbreaking. even if the intentions are non-malicious or joking or lighthearted, there will always be consequences to your actions and your words. one can imagine that they weigh heavier if they are done/told to a young child or to whoever looks up to you. because they look up to you, you should never say or do anything that could/will harm and hurt the one that idolizes you, be it physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise. it will carry with them for god knows how long.

[thatone-churro]

here’s how my panting 1 class is going so far

[ID: a three-part meme. the first part shows an annoyed, yellow and purple fish from spongebob. on the left side, there’s a caption saying “getting an art class you didn’t sign up for.” the second part shows an edit of a brown fish in jeans from spongebob. he’s on his knees shaking his fist in the air with a ton of different emoji hearts edited around him. it’s slightly edited with a zooming blur. the caption to the left reads “there’s a ton of pretty girls in there.” the third part features a nervous/looking squidward sitting on a bench rubbing his hands together and staring at something off-screen. the caption to the left reads “you get assigned a seat next to a dude who said you looked 12 and a girl who seems like she’d call you a slur.” end ID]

[thatone-churro]

i stg if i have to fight another thugglet + smugglet + psychic elemental team in slug it out multiplayer today i am going to shit myself

[thatone-churro]

encountering a bug in my room:

encountering a bug in my bathroom:

[thatone-churro]

this just in on i use humor to cope

[thatone-churro]

when you don’t have someone to scream at about how you were wronged and how unfair the universe is so you make your character that you accidentally ended up writing to align a little too well with those parts do it instead

[thatone-churro]

the desire to go to a CRAWLERS or Doll Skin or VIAL concert is strong but my lack of alternative style and fear of being judged for that is stronger

[thatone-churro]

i’m just feeling tonight

[thatone-churro]

yeah, playing a character with complex morals and personality and a fleshed-out backstory that supports their actions is cool and all, but so is making a chaotic little shit whose whole backstory is “raised in the wilderness” and whose whole character is “chaotic little shit”

[thatone-churro]

hnnnng but i did this really cool thing i wanna share but like i keep forgetting this is gonna be a serious project and series in the future😭

[ID: the two button dilemma meme. one button reads “keep bits of your personal project secret because you’re years from publishing it and its massive series.” the other reads “share little details that you’re really proud of because you like talking about your work.” the bottom frame with the hero has my pfp, minus the massive blush and background, edited over the hero’s face with “me” written below it. End ID]

[thatone-churro]

feeling like shit just want skylanders back

[thatone-churro]

i have literally no musical talent idk where tf they came from

[thatone-churro]

just thinking about how media and memes quickly permeate my brain and just become a regular part of my thought process/communication.

like every time i play miitopia (which i first played FAR before i watched snapcube’s SA2 dub) and a scientist uses glitch, i say (exactly in alfred’s eggman voice): “i’m the glitch! do you know why they call me the mutha fukin glitch?!?!” and i don’t know why just seeing the word “glitch” triggers this but it’s kinda funny

[thatone-churro]

young[er] me: i don’t understand why people get so upset about people from anime not existing. like, they’re cartoon characters. they’re fictional. it’s not a big deal

me now randomly getting sad because mitsuri kanroji and bruno bucciarati aren’t real:

[thatone-churro]

i know it’s time to go to bed when i start daydreaming a bit too much angst