#chug fungus
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cerastes · 10 months ago
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I will be going to Okinawa at the end of this month! Also gonna hop to the main island and do a weekend in Kyoto. Any advice?
NIIICE
Well, we could speak for hours about advice when it comes to traveling to Japan, really, but in general, keeping it concise and to the point, I'd say:
Don't tip in restaurants! It's seen as rude because they are paid already, there's no tipping culture for eateries over there.
Also, there's a table fee! Consider this the tip if you must cognitize it somehow, but basically, when you go over your receipt, you'll always see 200 yen or something on top of what you ate. Don't start a fight over this, it's just the table fee, AKA the fee you pay for using a spot in the restaurant in the first place. It's usually something small like 200 yen, and it will also include courtesy snacks like water and usually edamame
Don't point at things with your finger, it's rude. This is not Japan exclusive obviously but Japan is one of those places in which it is rude. Also, don't point at things with chopsticks, that's REALLY rude. In general, don't toy with chopsticks, those are tools with which you consume food with, and should be treated with respect.
Buy your deodorant over there. Strong scents, perfumes and deodorants are usually seen as disruptive (as in, you're invading the smelling space of people), so they use odorless, neutral deodorant there. If you use odorless already, you're good to go, but leave the AXE at home.
Keep your voice down in public transport, and don't take phone calls while in it. You can make small talk (in fact, a few times, some Japanese people talked to me in the train to ask me where I was from and some stuff like that!), but don't be loud. Basically, respect everyone's right and pleasure to a pleasant trip or commute. Return phone calls after you disembark.
Have a Map app on you. It will save your life and make it much easier! Likewise, get a 3/4/5G wireless connection rental card for your phone while you're over there! They are very affordable (I paid something like 70 bucks for 31 days of 4G) and having internet on the go is immensely helpful, from translations to maps to calls to just browsing things on the go or looking up something you might not know.
I recommend looking up some cultural things in general before your trip, so you don't make faux passes. Japanese people are in general really kind and comprehensive to foreigners and won't hold you to the same social scrutiny as they would another Japanese person, but in my experience, they really like it when you actually show an intent to engage with the culture. There's passing by, and then there's actually showing you've at least looked into it, and they really appreciate it. I got away with a couple of free drinks one time in Osaka, even, because the master was like "no yeah you've obviously been keenly aware of how to go about things". Even the few times I messed up by going where I wasn't supposed to go or entering a few off-limit places, talking with authority figures and explaining how that happened to them was smooth as butter and they completely understood and didn't mind the misteps, and gave friendly advice on how to prevent that from happening again.
Absolutely carry a bag with you everywhere. There's very few trash bins in Japan so you'll always want to have a bag or some such to store your bottles and empty snack bags and takoyaki sticks and everything else until you can find an elusive bin or go back to your hotel and throw your stuff there. A lifehack here is that you can sometimes find trash bins near vending machines, but do make sure they are not just for cans!
These are my Primer For Japan, really. Have Fun!
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thenarrativefoil · 1 year ago
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good news: i have a probable cause and a lead on how to solve the problems
bad news: it's another weird diet change
good news: meds that made my hair fall out are out of my system!
bad news: symptoms i was taking the meds for are back
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anonymouscomrade · 2 years ago
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SO BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FUNGUS-BRAINED SHITMOUTHS SEEM TO LOSE ALL BRAIN FUNCTION AND REGRESS INTO DROOLING FUCKING TODDLERS WHEN HANDED AN OVERPOWERED WEAPON THAT'LL DO ALL YOUR WORK FOR YOU IN SALMON RUN, HERE'S A QUICK FUCKING OVERVIEW OF HOW THE CURRENT BATCH OF GRIZZCO WEAPONS WORK
CHARGER: COMBINES THE ONLY GOOD FEATURE OF THE BAMBOOZLER (PRACTICALLY INSTANT CHARGE TIME) WITH THE ONLY GOOD FEATURE OF THE E-LITER (INSANE DAMAGE), WITH SOMEHOW EVEN MORE RANGE. CHUGS INK LIKE YOUR MOM AT THE SWINGERS PARTY THOUGH SO BE CAREFUL NOT TO RUN OUT AND GET SURROUNDED OR YOU'LL GET COVERED IN FISH SLOP, ALSO LIKE YOUR MOM AT THE SWINGERS PARTY!
SPLATANA: IT DOES NOT INK. IT DOES NOT COVER TURF. IT WILL EFFORTLESSLY MURDER ANYTHING SHORT OF COHOZUNA WITH A CHARGE SLASH. NOT ABLE TO COVER ENOUGH GROUND TO STUN THAT FLIPPER-FLOPPER? HOLD THE TRIGGER AND WAIT FOR THAT ASSHOLE TO POP HIS SHIT-EATING GRIN OUT OF HIS FUCKING PUDDLE THEN GUT HIM HEAD TO TAIL. DON'T HAVE THE INK TO STUFF A BOMB DOWN MAWS'S THROAT? YOU DON'T NEED IT, EVISCERATE THAT SON OF A BITCH WHERE HE FUCKING STANDS. GOOD FUCKING LUCK IF YOU GET A GRILLERS ROUND THOUGH
STRINGER: HOLD THE TRIGGER. RELEASE THE TRIGGER. ANYTHING STANDING IN A CONE-SHAPED AREA IN FRONT OF YOU IS NOW DEAD. ALTERNATIVELY, ANYTHING THAT WAS STANDING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU JUST HAD ITS ASSHOLE TORN INSIDE-OUT AT THE SUBATOMIC LEVEL
BLASTER: HOLD THE TRIGGER AND WATCH IN AMAZEMENT AS THE VERY LIFE FADES FROM THE EYES OF ANYTHING STUPID ENOUGH TO STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU. WATCH YOUR INK SO YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT JUST STANDING THERE WITH YOUR LIMP DICK IN YOUR HAND BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT GROUP OF COHOCKS!
BRELLA: SEE ABOVE, EXCEPT TRADE SOME DAMAGE FOR RANGE
SLOSHER: "WAAAAAHH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THIS ONE, WAAAAAHHHHHH" IS WHAT I KEEP HEARING BUT IT'S EXTREMELY FUCKING ELEMENTARY SO DIG THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR EARS AND FUCKING LISTEN TO ME: YES, THE RATE OF FIRE IS FUCKING ABYSMAL BUT THE SHOT PLOWS THROUGH FUCKING EVERYTHING SHORT OF THE ACTUAL STAGE GEOMETRY. A DIRECT HIT WITH THE COCKPIT WILL KILL A *CLOSED* FLYFISH. IT WILL PUNCH THROUGH A SCRAPPER'S PATHETIC ARMORED CAR AND LET YOU KILL IT FROM THE WRONG SIDE. IT WILL PASS THOUGH A SLAMMIN' LID OR A GRILLER LIKE IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING THERE. THAT STEEL EEL THINKS ITS INK JETS WILL KEEP IT SAFE AND IT'S WRONG. ONE SHOT AIMED IN EVEN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF A LINE OF CHARGING SALMONIDS DURING A GLOWFLIES ROUND WILL KILL THE ENTIRE GROUP. FUCKING THINK FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
AND ONE LAST THING, ABOVE ALL ELSE:
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE EGGS IN THE BASKET TO WIN
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE EGGS IN THE BASKET TO WIN
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE EGGS IN THE BASKET TO WIN YOU HAVE TO PUT THE EGGS IN THE BASKET TO WIN YOU HAVE TO PUT THE EGGS IN THE BASKET TO WIN **STOP FUCKING TIMING OUT AND GOING 12/23 ON QUOTA AT THE END OF ROUND 3 BECAUSE YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS WON'T PUT THE MOTHER FUCKING EGGS IN THE GOD DAMNED BASKET**
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yaspup9000 · 2 years ago
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yea im sorry guys looks like im not getting any polls. sucks but it is what it is I guess. Thx @chug-fungus for helping me try to get the poll feature tho.
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cosmicyeen · 2 years ago
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OKAY SO I FORGOT TO FINISH THIS POST but basically a few days ago i was wandering the Locations and came across this tree, ive been familiar with it for years but this time i saw something fleeting and incredible:
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A BIRDS NEST FUNGUS
Growing out of the dead outer bark layer!
I've only seen these once before; an almost steely dark species growing on the ground near the chicken run. The irony of seeing a birds nest fungus *in a tree* is also pretty lovely.
The funnel-shape of the nest and the "eggs" inside are a part of its dispersal method. A raindrop falls into the cup, and splashes the spore packets up the sides and outwards.
Anyways, i kept looking at this tree, and saw something else cool. Among the incredible variety of colors from reds to greens to grays and everything in between, there are these black lines snaking through the bark fibers
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Faint, almost hairlike. These are called Zone Lines and are the defensive barriers put up by fungi as they spread and need to defend their resources from other fungi. When it occurs in wood, it's known as spalting, and can be quite beautiful when carved.
This made me think of what i've heard about zone lines from folks while going on nature walks, and i remembered there's this area of wood that looks a lot like one i've heard discussed.
Basically, if you picture a log, with different fungi growing on it, you end up with a 3D matrix of zone borders all intersecting in unique patterns. Some fungi burn out quickly, eating into the wood and turning it into spores and dirt and crumble away; all the while there are other fungi that are secluded in their whimsical 3D shapes long past the decay of the other fungi.
What do these look like? Something like this:
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three dimensional zone lines! A dark black/brown matte surface keeping the fungus defended as it chugs along slowly, breaking down its territory staked out long ago
Breaking open the wood shows this border/digestion area distinction:
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I've got no idea how long this particular variety takes to decay. I've seen this wood here for years just like other rotting logs, but it was only about a year ago that i learned what makes it look the way it did!
Something that *was* new to me was this, though:
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I saw this strange pattern of speckles, almost bubbly, scaly looking patches underneath the barrier. I havent seen this before, nor do i know what it is. Maybe it's the fruiting body of this particular fungus. Maybe it's a defensive wall put up against some foreign invader. Maybe it's a holdover from something in the life of the tree that the fungus simply grew over.
Whatever it is, it's quite fascinating.
This all made me go look for other cool decomposition patterns. I came across this whiterot oak branch that had fallen. Rotted oak like this is great for giving to rolly pollies as a snack, especially when very crumbly. But this time i was interested in the almost imperceptible hairs snaking through it as well:
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it hides quite well in this branch, especially because the walls like to form in alignment with the wood's natural grain. But running through the center from top to bottom there *is* a zone line.
it's slightly more visible from the top, where you can also see the slight color difference between the two zones thanks to the different chemical compositions/byproducts of the competing fungi
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It really is just so cool. wars raged beneath our feet in branches we may throw aside or even burn.
Here's an old post oak stump; for a few years it's been here and we used to use it as a surface for splitting firewood. now large channels have rotted away and the surface has taken on that dark fungal look.
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this final pic is down one of the channels that's decayed into the tree. It appears that all the elements of water, bugs, fungus, *decay* have all hollowed out a matrix that follows along down into the tree roots themselves.
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It's a lot deeper than the ground surface. I've seen chipmunks go in and out of it as well. I can only imagine there's a whole luxury burrow complex down there.
Some pretty interesting stuff to see out there. Hope this was a good summary!
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doomanddead · 23 days ago
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The Morbid World of Heliophage
Here at Doom and Dead we shine a spotlight on small-time doom, drone, and psych acts that deserve more attention. Our favorite release this month came from Canadian doom trio Heliophage.
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Occult doom outfit Heliophage hails from Victoria, British Columbia. Their new EP, A Cult of Weird, Horrible People, is a spiritous serving of campy horror with just enough real world suffering to make the songs relatable. A glance at the album notes makes it clear that the band doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Each member is identified with their own malady; schizophrenia for the guitar player, Munchausen syndrome for the bassist, and, of course, Parkinson’s for the drummer. The EP was recorded in a “mold-ridden dungeon” and mixed in an “ivory tower.” Fun (and fungal) references aside, this EP has a diabolical way of getting under your skin. The weighty riffs and heinous melodies are toothsome enough to satisfy even the most discerning doom wizards. So hit play with me, and let’s get this dungeon crawl started. 
The intro track, The Sacrifice, sets the mood with B-movie dialogue laid over a bed of fuzz. Bring on the Satanic panic!
Gallows Raised rocks the stockades and rattles your manacles with fuzz-drenched grooves. The song pairs clean vocals with riffs so nasty they’ll turn your eyelids inside out. The lyrics tell the tale of an accused murderer with a monstrous surprise. This jam is sure to get every skull in the oubliette bobbing. Gallows Raised is a raucous good time stacked to the stalactites with heavy riffs, spooky imagery, and an impending sense of dread.
The band slows things down to a crawl with the lumbering tune, Disciple of Death. This vile bass line commandeers the senses, corrupts virgins, and converts the unwary to Heliophage’s black coven. A eely guitar solo reaches out through the darkness, slithering into every hole and crevice it can find. This track is temptation incarnate, a glimmering shard of doom metal in the blackness. Evil can never be fully eradicated, kids. So embrace it and be merry.
One thing I love about this EP is that Heliophage isn’t afraid to mix things up. Thirteen Against One features fast beats and growled vocals straight from the goblin’s den. The band rips through a vicious punk anthem, oozing their dank, mossy doom sensibilities all over it.
The EP closes on Malignant Hydra. This chugging brute explores medical terror and the depths of physical suffering. Dizzying riffs construct a hallucinatory nightmare. Clean and blackened vocals reflect the brutality of bodily destruction. A putrid guitar solo rips through the fabric of reality between life and death. The drum work in the final minute of the song is a thing of terrible beauty. 
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Fans of Electric Wizard, Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats, and Black Capricorn will find themselves drawn this unholy offering. Ghouls, nerds, devil worshipers, acid freaks, and necromancers of all stripes should also take note. The band claims to have planted a bit of cordyceps fungus in this EP to bend listeners to their will. However, their fiendish plot won’t work on m… m… … yesssss, masters. 
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olddingaling · 4 months ago
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Hi, do you like alcohol? -- alcoholic anonymous
I am known to get very merry on buckfast, which I steal in hoards from the abbey.
I have ogres help me lift the many barrels and together we chug by campsite under the moonlight.
And then, of course, there is my own specialty: the fermented fungus mead that I make from each autumn. It lasts right into the root of summer.
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cephalon-sancti · 7 months ago
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Letting your plants butt chug water also reduces the chances of getting fungus gnats because the top of the soil doesn't get soaked and allow them to lay eggs 👍
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m0e-ru · 2 years ago
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I posted 858 times in 2022
That's 340 more posts than 2021!
757 posts created (88%)
101 posts reblogged (12%)
I tagged 856 of my posts in 2022
#kommento - 577 posts <- was talkative this year. ehehe
#p4 - 220 posts <- BANE OF MY EXISTENCE !!!!
#⛽️🌫 - 146 posts <- NUMBER 1 ALWAYS !!!! ALWAYS ALWAYS
#arttag - 136 posts <- 136 art posts ? no waay .....
#boot.tingting - 116 posts <- i did not do a lot of full art this year but WHO CARES !!! i had fun the whole year thats great for me
#moel gas station attendant - 95 posts <- NO IZNMI IN THE LEADERBOARD THIS YEAR. brain fungus
#persona 4 spoilers - 93 posts <- still tags spoilers in the year of whose lord 2022
#gsa sl au - 90 posts <- WHOO YEAHHHHEAH WHOO YEAH WHAHAOOOAHOOOO HYEAH !!! YEAH !!!
#salaaaaamin - 89 posts <- 89 SELF REBLOGS i am so so silly
#persona 4 - 74 posts <- things i decided should be in the tracked tags. i said look at my posts, boy
NO ADACHI IN THE TOP TEN I FUCKING WINN I FUCKING WIN i. im sorry marie i promised id do more of you.maybe this year—IF I STILL KEEP THIS BLOG GOING?
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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hiii girlies and gamers sharing my digital copy of the pq2 art book (Persona Q2 New Cinema Labyrinth Official Visual Materials) <3
I LOVE SHARING clink the link for the full artbook it's very sillay
139 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
#4
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❝ But it turns out there was something behind it too…
And that “something” was… a guy at the gas station!? ❞
3/20 POST TOP 4 BANGER !!!! TO ANOTHER YEAR 🥂🍾 !!! i told this before but i had like four drafts for the 3/20 art this is the one i ended up going with. it got experimental since i was RUNNING OUT OF TIME but i like how it turned out in the end im glad everyone liked it :]
143 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#3
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happy birthday to the bear fanatic ever @/craske here is your
EVERYONE LOVES THE BEAR BESTIE !!! one of my favorite pieces too im so happy it got here. commentary was i actually sketched this out WAAY before and i ended up finishing around. well. birthfay time .... IM GLAD EVERYONE LIKED IT TOO 1!!!
191 notes - Posted March 28, 2022
#2
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happy women's day to the girl i refer to when i say 'girl help' (she leaves me on read)
THIS MARGARET WAS THE BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE I SPENT JUST AN HOUR ON HER HOW DID SHE FUCKING GET. HERE. becomes a misogynist idc about women's day <- gets megidolaon'd to death
258 notes - Posted March 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
264 notes - Posted January 28, 2022
WHOOO YEAH WHOO YEAH WHOOOOOO YAHOOOOO THE FUCKING SHITPOST EVER !!!!! <- SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON IT. OH YEAH I REPOSTED THIS TO MY FUCKING YT someone said mim was in the wrong place. did they see the rest of my channel. the very stageplay clips i chose to exclusively sub. huh . huh. h. anyway i did chug jug last year and cpr x misery x reese's puff this year i wonder what silly music shitpost i'll do next year
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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cerastes · 3 years ago
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You misunderstand, I love bitter drinks, I just don’t like the taste of IPA.
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the-breloominati · 3 years ago
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things i have learned from genshin co-op:
be rootin'
be tootin'
and by god be shootin'
but most of all
be kind
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jane-friend · 2 years ago
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@chug-fungus Yeah!! I remember the commercials but I never actually tasted them before??? But the other day I was possessed by a White Woman and bought a bottled Starbucks Pink Drink thing at Safeway and went “wow this is horrible, kinda tastes like those SoBe drinks” even though I’ve never had a SoBe. But somehow I still KNEW what the taste is(that being ball sweat(derogatory))
Hey @ all 90’s kids, did we all just mass hallucinate those SoBe drinks?? Like the drinks with the lizards on them??? They felt so prominent in my early childhood for some reason.
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littlefreya · 4 years ago
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Autumn Blood
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Summary: The rumours warn to stir far from the cottage down the clearing. Who knows who hides between these pitted walls? But curiosity trumps logic, and now that the wolf caught the scent of his prey, this little red ridin' hood wandered into a trap..
Pairing: August Walker x OFC (3rd person pov - no ethnicity or body type)
Word count: 3.8
Warnings: 18+, Dark, Non-Consensual sex, dubious consent, chasing, outdoors, primal sex, fingering, orgasm, doogystyle, creampie, light breeding, kidnapping, my overuse of forest metaphor and cottagecore. Please proceed with caution.
*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, ideas or parts it and claiming it as your own
A/N: There you go, a dark Lumberjack August no one asked for. Inspired by a conversation I had. Many thanks to @agniavateira my love and beta and for the moral support from @the-soot-sprite  and @wondersofdreaming​. Now my anxiety attacks me so I must vanish! Poof! 
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed my story. I work hard on each one of them and your validation means the world to me. 🖤
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Autumn blood
There was a mysterious cottage down in the clearing of the forest—a house built of crude stone bricks and a roof made of red clay tiles. Verdant lichen and damp moss cloaked the rough exterior, silently preserving the house’s secrets while fooling each random spectator to assume it stood centuries-long forsaken. 
But, during the nights, dim lights beamed from the windows and smoke—thick as deadly fog—rose from the chimney.
The folks who resided in the town nearby warned her not to go into the woods. 
“The man who lives there used to be a murderer!”
“I heard he is not even a man...”
“Aye! A blood-thirsty monster, as ugly as they come.”
Angie always thought it was nothing but an urban legend. Different versions of the story would glide up in the air during drunken evenings at the local pub, played in different tunes each time like old fishermen hymns. In some of them, the murderer was a hag, and in others, a troll. 
“Bullshit!” she called out, chugging a cold beer.
Truth be told, no living soul ever saw this so-called homicidal cottage dweller. And Angie, being a nosy young thing, was bested by curiosity. On a quiet Autumn afternoon, she wore her best hiking shoes and decided to go and see for herself who lived in the cabin in the woods. 
Lithe clouds hunkered over the pines, the shy sun merely an illusion in the sky as the air ran cold despite the interstices of golden daylight. Working her way through rusty dry leaves and fresh growing fungus, she caressed the peeling scales of an ancient trunk, paying no mind to the insects and mould that flourished within. 
Fear hardly came to mind, but then again, Angie was constantly reprimanded for being “too brave”—as if bravery was something a woman should not possess. 
Following a narrow river vein that led toward the clearing, she could see the hint of dying daylight where the trees grew sparse at the edge of the woodland while the unmistakable scent of burning coals teased her nose. There was a sound; a sluggish, muffled cadence of thuds, reminding her of a blacksmith or a carpenter hitting a hammer over a plank of wood. 
Someone was indeed home. 
Adamant to solve the mystery, Angie squeezed her way through a slender crevice between two large oaks, carefully making her way out of the darkening thicket. Excitement prickled her arms and flourished in her lungs, almost bursting into a gasp at the sight of the infamous cottage. There it lay a few meters down the hill, surrounded by wild yellow chrysanthemums and a small patch of soil dotted with herbs and vegetables. Hunting and gardening gear hung over corroded iron hooks ledged to the wall; on the pebbled entrance rested a pair of muddy running shoes.
There was a fascinating beauty to the cosy structure, one dimmed by an odd, gruesome sense that pervaded her bawls like the worms digging through dirt beneath her feet. Still, the infectious hunger for knowledge left her restless. Forgoing her survival instincts, she made her way down the mushy slope, tracking the dull source of noise that became louder with her inching steps and her gut twisting with a lurching sense of unease.
Closer, closer, the legend took the shape of reality. A crisp thwack and a rattle melded into a steady rhythm, the wheeze of air was sliced by an object so sharp she could feel the wind ache. Just when she thought her heart wouldn’t race any faster, a sonorous groan of labour made her pause on her steps with a soft hiss.
It could have been mistaken for a clap of distant thunder, had the dark amber rays of the setting sun weren’t as clear amidst the cotton clouds.
‘Just a quick peek, and I’ll leave.’
Engulfed by fickle temptation, her fingers sailed across cold, slippery bricks, caressing the pillowy pith of moss while mystery and dread unfolded before her flaring eyes.
Wood splinters and droplets of sweat flew with every swing of a heavy axe that laid in the large hands of a man not older than mid-thirties; a giant, possibly, a hulking beast whose red-plaid shirt hung by stubborn threads where his massive biceps swelled. Underneath the cap that covered his dark hair was a determined scowl that complimented his shapely nose and the thick moustache decorating his stubbly face.
Angie’s thoughts lingered, fallen victim to the lure of sombre beauty that felt eerily dangerous. 
‘He is just a man,’ she convinced herself, ‘one that was not to be judged from rumours slurred by drunken old hunters.’ 
The stranger hacked a couple of logs and waved the axe as if it weighed nothing. Perching the handle against his shoulder, he kicked the cleaved remnants into a pile and huffed as if all the load of the world was on his shoulders. He turned aside toward his labour when he caught sight of his invader - and his gaze, oh god, his gaze was the incarnation of an unyielding frost. 
One look, and she was infected by the cold, her veins turning rigid inside her limbs.
“What are you doing on my property?” Menacingly, the man crooked an eyebrow, the final rays of sunlight falling on his face, soaking his eyes in various shades of crystal blue. His accent was foreign to this land—an American, no doubt—and she was wise enough to realise this man came here to hide. Locking her gaze, he stretched his shoulders, looking more intimidating, if that was even a possibility. 
Angie’s throat became incredibly parched, her muscles stiff as stone while every nerve in her body screamed at her to run. “I… I…” 
Slowly, terrifyingly, an insidious grin crept between his stubbly cheeks, a grin harbouring all the fright of nightmarish fireside stories ever told. 
Oh, the fun they would have.
“No one ever comes here. I haven’t seen a woman in a while.” 
Angie’s shivering thighs threatened to clench at the low timbre poisoned by pungent malice. Unbidden, it wished to penetrate the slippery pit that hid at the apex of her body. 
With a swift motion, he threw the axe aside where it sliced into the soaked ground with a squelch. Next flew his cap, exposing a nest of earthy curls steeped in sweat. The bewhiskered stranger swept a hand through those locks and then brushed his thick moustache.
“Shall we then, my angel?”
Despite the war drums booming in her ears, Angie tilted her head naively. Stupid little fluffy rabbit, was it so hard to realise her own doom?
“Shall... we?” 
He smiled darkly and cracked his neck from side to side. 
“One… two...”
As the earth swallowed the sun completely, her mind cleared. Led merely by a survival instinct, she paced backwards and rushed into the welcoming stygian tentacles of the forest. Shrouded by horror, her feet kicked the ground, skipping over dead felled barks and rocks that she swore weren’t there before. 
It was as if nature conspired against her, and in the back of her mind, she wondered whether this was a nightmare, but couldn’t find in her to stop and see if her chaser was but a phantom. She could still hear him counting, ‘three… four...’ in that voice that was both seductive and the very essence of lancinating fear.  
‘Five… six...’
Echoes of his trail chasing her misguided her feet. Her breath shallowed as she trod deeper into a lair of monstrous trees. Thick and long branches tangled above, turning into a cage. Fighting the burn in her lungs, she convinced herself that she was safe. He was far too large, heavy, and bereft of agility; and even more so, betrayed by his weight. This would provide her with the advantage of slipping away. 
‘Seven… eight...’
The path became slim and yet endless. A mist of pale verdant-blue draped over, a shade so gloomy she felt the layer of ice stiffening her bones while fighting her way through the dour thicket. Large roots and feral branches sought to grasp her, leaving bleeding scratches over her limbs. 
Attempting to find the way out or at least a place to hide, she diverted from the path, sneaking into a groove where the ground sounded wet and felt colder beneath her sole. Her pace abruptly halted as her jumper got caught by a branch of a giant tree, forcing her backwards.
Not bothering to turn she grunted, making a violent effort to get loose from the treacherous branch.
“Nine… ten.”
Her bawls turned to ice at once. 
‘Did that tree let out a powerful groan?’ 
“I know this forest like the back of my hand. Sweet of you to think you stood any chance, but I must thank you. I do appreciate a good chase.” Large arms trapped her in a death hold, pressing her against the wall of his warm chest while something wet and slippery slithered up her neck.
Riddled with wild tremors, she wished to protest, to claw for her freedom. Although her will screamed to fight and run, all that flowed from her body was a pathetic wail, which to her lack of fortune, seemed to excite him. 
“I’m August, in case you need a name to scream.” 
His axe-coarse palm slid beneath her top, tainting the soft flesh with a gruesome touch exuding of masculine possession. He groped and squeezed to the point of pain, wishing to leave his heinous legacy embedded under her pelt. 
Icy terror hadn’t even begun to unravel when she felt the press of his hard groin grinding into the small of her back.  
“Help!!!” Finally, she managed a scream, only to have it return a dozen times over as if 12 other girls wailed into the void. Tears of grief soon seared her cheeks at the aching realisation that her howls will be heard and seen by no one other than her assailer—who, quite clearly, feasted on her agony. 
Still a woman with a will of iron, she did her best to break his hold, her arms and legs flying to the air, no stronger than the dry brittle twigs that cracked beneath his leaden stomp.
A wolfish glee spread upon August’s face instead, pleased by the rare find that brought herself to his very doorstep. There was much pleasure to be found in resistance; he could only hope she would enjoy him as much as he was about to enjoy spreading her open, but he would have her nevertheless.  
With a slight struggle, she found herself subdued on a lush pelt of dead leaves and pillowy shrooms; her senses lost to a thick fog of despair as August raked her arms above her head and rooted fingers around her wrists. Even in the scarce light, she could make the eldritch lustre of his eyes, a beautiful pale azure glint that cut like shards of glass. Rustic musk gusts upon her like a cloud of intoxication, making chaos of her instincts. 
This uncaring feral mien must have been inherited to him from the woodland—the same harmful beauty that bathed her with guilt as wetness flourished between the legs she fought to keep shut.
The wolf in him caught the scent of blood. Beaming, he leaned closer to the trail of tears that marked her cheeks and licked the droplets with an elated groan. 
“My my, you taste so good, little one, I bet your cherry is ripe too…”
Goosebumps prickled across her skin as the soft brush of his paw lightly skimmed down her torso, knuckles feathering below her navel as he unzipped her jeans. His hand slipped below her underwear before she could even muster a protest, calloused fingertips sinking into a warm lake of unwanted lust. 
“Hmm,” he uttered with wonder, his invasive digit diving to test her waters. Despite the cry that broke from her throat, her walls already squeezed around him, trying to force him out and pull him deeper at the same time.
“Interesting.”
“No, no! Let go of me !!! Let me go!!!” She tearfully implored, only to be silenced by his prowling mouth. Forcefully, he preyed on her lips as his thumb grazed the little hidden pearl at her apex to manipulate her mouth open. His vile tongue sieged her sacred cavern, though not forgoing his style. Earnestly, he kissed her in the mien of a younger man who takes a bride, regarding each note of flavour as if savouring honeyed mead. 
Lost to shadowy ecstasy, she cried a a bemused agonised yelp into his throat. Harder he devoured her, the bristle of his moustache burning the corners of her mouth while his finger continued to pump and toy with her drenched crevice. Self-hatred gushed through her veins once her body foolishly arched into his touch, giving in to this animal despite her burning protest. 
Never in her life had she been so betrayed: failed by the forest, by her foolish curiosity, and by feral instincts that wrongfully considered this stranger’s touch to be consensual. 
But August found himself elated beyond belief, thrilled by the carnal haze that worked in his favour.
‘Ain’t no fun in fucking a dry cunt.’
Though, she had no wish to make this wretched beast feel desired. In her best offence, she clamped her teeth at his bottom lip. 
August felt the tinge of iron and tore his lips from hers; licking the blood off, he then squeezed her wrists. 
“This little rabbit appears to be a feral lynx, it seems,” he growled yet not with anger but with a deep rumble of appreciation. The girl was far more interesting than he imagined, a nosy adventurous spirit. It was time to show her what curiosity brought upon the cat. Pulling back to stand on his knees, he sent a hand to tug at his belt. Angie fell paralysed below him, covered by a damp layer of chilling panic as he pulled out his enormous shaft, presenting it with pride. Up and down, he stroked its length, the head of his ‘beast’ salivating at the sight of delicious dinner. 
Angie whimpered with distress, though between her clenching thighs, her cunt throbbed with a need she could no longer disregard. It was but a brief moment when she imagined how this animal would feel inside her, splitting her asunder, again and again. 
It made her want to scream even louder.
“I know,” August grinned, voice seeping with arrogance. His hand left her rigid wrists in favour of her jumper, peeling it above her chest and vehemently tugging her bra to expose her breasts.
It’s been so long since he fed the vicious animal within, far too long.
“Little nosy cat...” he hummed, “you screech now, but I will make you purr by the end of the night.”
Hate set fire to her blood at the sound of his words, unable to bear being his ‘meal’. As August’s hands worked to strip her of her last protecting garment, a sudden adrenaline surge burst in her heart. Her frozen muscles filled with courage, pushing her to fight back. 
Folding her knee, she kicked the large man, making him fall back with a pained snarl. 
There was little time to plan an escape strategy. Her brow furrowed with feline determination as she flipped on her knees and began crawling through the rustling foliage. Amidst a wall of elder oaks, two large roots entangled above the ground, creating a low cove. He would not fit, he could not reach her if she’d manage her way through. Still on her knees, she hurried toward hope, her heart beating loudly at the thrill presented by escape. 
Her right arm passed through the path. Digging into the soil and sinewy saplings, she managed to pull herself farther when her ankles were captured by his claws. With a blood-chilling shriek, she was dragged back.
Long, rigid fingers etched around the seams of her denim and within seconds, her womanhood was exposed to the first stars that crested the evening sky.
“Fine,” August rebuked unforgiving, “like a bitch then!” 
Somewhere among the ocean of green, a lone wolf howled at the rising moon, its melancholic yelp playing harmonically to Angie’s cry of grievous pain as August defiled her with one harsh thrust. Stretched and parted open, she was wrapped around him completely, becoming a vessel to a cruel man who seized her deeper than she could bear. 
And still, despite the pain, despite the bludgeoning shame, her lake seethed of sultry at his forced entry.
Holding one hand around her waist and the other locked at her nape, he broke into a long aching exhale sounding like a dragon awakened from a long slumber. His torso clenched at the feel of her little cunt twitching around his girth. He stilled and took this moment to bask in his astonishment, hoping to last and memorise each second of their union. 
“Oh, sweetling, you feel amazing.”
Dropping her head with defeat, she sobbed, preparing herself for the moment he would begin to ram her. Or was it some sick anticipation? The throb of the thick beast inside her brought a sensation she fought to push back, a fickle yearning to urge for more. 
Friction… she wanted it… needed it…
Keen on giving her what she needed without her having to beg, he began to pump himself inside her, slowly dragging his thick shaft out only to dive fully in. He gave no care for the yips and cries and how pathetically she shook her head with every thrust that made her flesh ripple. 
Was it him she resisted or herself? For he could definitely feel how desperately she wanted him to fuck her. 
“Purring already, kitten?” he taunted and grunted as her canal further clenched. Closing his eyes, he imagined swimming naked in a hot fjord during a harsh winter. 
She imagined bathing in darkness, the shadows penetrating her, in and out, abysmally satisfying. To her great misery, his flesh brought white-hot pleasure the more vigorously it split into hers.   
It was the way of nature and this animal that stuffed her full of his manhood, was as beautiful as the white veil of the Milky Way beyond the coppice. Shocked by the unforgiving tendrils of bliss that began to weave within her, she shuddered. Even the sound of his incoherent chants was pleasing as he crudely snapped his hips into her rear to delve faster and deeper into her lake of mysteries. 
The quivering whimper that spurred from her throat was inevitable. Little spasms tingled where his ridged shaft battered her profoundly, illuminating her from within. Desperate to maintain whatever was left of her senses, she wished to go elsewhere in her mind. Yet neither August nor her body allowed it; pleasure continued to grow inside her, consuming like fire through a forest. 
Palms plastered to the ground, she gathered wet leaves between her fingers and finally gave in,  moaning and senselessly arching her back to indulge him, to serve a better passage for the beast to graze a spot that made her see fireflies cascade in the darkness. 
August gaped as she bucked and writhed against him, no longer hissing in protest but now succumbing to desire with her head bowed down to her owner, her cunt milking in and yanking around him in a familiar gyrate.
“I can feel it, sweetling,” he gasped, feeling himself growing impossibly hard, “you want to come, don’t you, kitten? You want to come with me filling you.” 
Not waiting for an answer, his paw glided from her hip to skim toward the spot where they were connected. Tenderly he brushed the tip of his index finger from the seams of her stuffed sleek, feeling himself sliding in and out for a brief second before shifting to brush her clit. Everything fell into place in a brief moment: their rhythm, the squelching sound of their wet bodies slapping into one another, and their feral howls that laced into her powerful delirium.
Angie felt radiant light spilling down her loins, permeating through her with an erratic flush that swept her into the euphoric glow. Overrun with the intensity of pleasure, her muscles quaked and snugged around him as if he was her lover. 
August’s gasps became abruptly erratic, his spine and the taut muscles of his belly thrummed with a surge of bliss. With a final slam of his hips into her ass, he flooded her with the hot creamy promise of life before he faltered to crouch on top of her with his entire body covering hers.
Perched on her elbows she trembled, the abrupt silence between them brought back the whispers of the woodland’s natural inhabitants. She could hear the cackle of chubby toads, bats that squeaked in search of their prey, and the soft rustle of the trees with its branches waving like the veils of a sweet virgin although they stood rooted to the ground. 
Beyond her blurry vision, fireflies beamed indifferently while the man who conquered her was still throbbing and seeping inside her, his whiskers tickling her sweat-slicked back as he planted chaste kisses down the length of her spine. Waves of bliss languidly ebbed away, yet despite what he did to her body, some undermined part of her wished he would linger and wrap her with his soothing heat. 
She must have lost her mind completely.
After regaining his strength, he stretched back to stand on his knees and finally withdrew from her searing hole. She sustained a yelp at the sudden solitude gaping within her and carefully turned to her side looking at him as if waiting for him to finally grant her the permission to leave.
Tucking himself back in his jeans, August observed her once more, his eyes still luminescent despite the black of night. 
“What’s your name, sweetling?”
She didn’t answer, too ashamed of the fact that she couldn’t help but find the sight of him so incredibly handsome. Disliking her lack of speech, August leaned close and brushed his palm across her cheek.
“Answer me, love,” he begged and gently kissed the corner of her mouth where tears salted her delicate skin.
Shivering, she lifted her eyes to meet his, taking a deep breath as if she never spoke a word in her life. 
“A….an...Angie.”
How fitting, he thought, a wide grin painting his face. “Angie and August,” he chimed, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun together.”
It took a second for her mind to process his words before her eyes flared open. She shook her head but was already flung across his shoulder. Vigorously, she tried to kick her weakened feet in the air and threw her fists at his back.
“Please, please, I won’t tell! Please let me go!” She sobbed, watching the great world behind them becoming smaller with each long stride.
“You won’t,” August retorted, uncaring of her silly protests. Marching them back toward the cabin, he was enamoured with the thought of what a wonderful housewife she’d make. “I came inside you. You are mine now, sweetling, but don’t worry, Angie, I will take good care of you.” 
Ignoring her screams, August began to hum and lovingly, caressed her spine. A sense of warmth and satisfaction filled his heart when he saw the dim light that shined within his cottage. In a few minutes, he will be home with his new bride; and though he rarely sang, tonight was far too beautiful to resist chanting a tune. 
“See the pyramids along the Nile Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle Just remember, darling, all the while You belong to me.”
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Additional Credits: You belong to me by Chilton Price, Pee Wee King and Redd Stewart. Dividers by @firefly-graphics 
Disclaimer: I don’t own August Walker or Mission Impossible 
2K notes · View notes
shankss-magnificent-ass · 3 years ago
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Imagine trying to convince Karl to let loose
Karl: *holding the door open as he's about to leave* I'm going to work down in the factory
You: I'm sorry what?
Karl: *can tell you're intoxicated* what the hell?
You: *giggles at him*
Karl: *closes the front door* I can't fucking leave with your dumbass like this. You can barely walk sober, unbelievable. What am I supposed to do with you?
You: take the day off and be irresponsible for once and get shit faced with me *holds the bong up to him*
Karl: *staring at you with his mouth open like you're the weird one* I'm not getting high with you
You: beer then? do you drink beer? Wait can you even get drunk?
Karl: yes I can get drunk and excuse you, beer is for children, I drink whiskey and vodka.
You: that is the most eastern European thing I've ever heard you say, now come sit in this bean bag chair I bullied you into buying and get drunk with me. You work too hard not to occasionally let loose. Get drunk and get some stuff off your chest cause I won't remember tomorrow.
Karl: you know what you're right *grabs a full bottle of whiskey and flops down in the chair as he uses his abilities to turn on the record player in the corner*
You: wise decision *pats his shoulders*
Karl: *decided to yammer at you* did I ever tell you what the cadou actually is?
You: *slowly looks up at him from staring at the corner, and stares at him for a second* no
Karl: it's a hybrid of the megamegeg and a nematodes
You: the megametie is a fungus mold thing right?
Karl: yes *takes a swig from his bottle*
You: *starts cracking up* so you just have a really bad case of moldly roundworm
Karl: * hates it* shut the hell up
You: wait isn't cheese mold? You're a bog cheese man.
Karl: how am I a bog cheese man?
You: it'd take too long to explain before I lost the thought
Karl: try
You: nope lost it, I already don't know what we were talking about
Karl: *realizing just how high you are* I suddenly feel the need to be the responsible adult in this situation
You: no that's boring, chug chug *gently pushes the whiskey bottle to his lips*
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145 notes · View notes
full-of-jams · 5 years ago
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Tangsuyuk Love
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Summary: College student Jungkook passes cute notes with a customer who always orders take-out tangsuyuk at his part-time job. Meanwhile he’s trying not to miserably fail his Math class, while hiding his ever-growing crush on you.
Genre: college au, f2l, fluff, smut, one shot, did I mention FLUFF?
Warnings: mild swearing, sexual content, hold your heart palpitations!
Word Count: 11.5k
A/N: I wanted to write something light and sweet before I continued with Good Riddance. It will be easy, she said. It will be fun, she said. It will be quick, she said. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Ignore my pain. Enjoy!
°°°°°°°
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[09/04 18:34 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY] 1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjamppong 2 Kimchi Mandu ---------------- Note: Without pineapple! Please make the jjamppong extra spicy, my boyfriend just broke up with me T-T
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 2 Kimchi Mandu -- 6,000 1 Soju -- 0
Total: 31,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: Service! Nothing’s better than the fresh taste of soju to lighten a heavy heart :) Cheer up LatteIsHorse-Nim!
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Paper Note: JK-nim, thanks for the soju. It sweetened my bitter night. This is Tokki, please give him a loving new home! TT-TT
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Jungkook was fucking terrified of you. If it weren’t for the fact that he was close to failing Statistical Analysis, he would’ve considered faking a stomach flu and making a beeline straight out of the library.
“If you have a box containing 3 white, 4 red and 5 black balls what is the probability that you will draw a white ball on your first draw and a black ball on your second draw?” you asked again through gritted teeth.
You looked up at Jungkook and were met by an empty stare. Usually you enjoyed tutoring your fellow classmate. He was a smart and funny guy, maybe a bit awkward at times, but always trying his best. Today every little thing grated on your nerves. It took you every ounce of energy to get out of bed and look like a presentable human being this morning. You really didn’t want to sit here for another hour if the boy was just going to stare at you like a petrified statue. “It’s really not that difficult. You just have to apply conditional probability.”
Jungkook let out a frustrated huff and pulled at his hair, “I really don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense! Why do I even need this stuff for my major? Who cares if I pull out a white ball or a black ball first? It’s not like I’m planning on becoming Houdini!”
Sometimes you pitied him, but who on Earth had an irrational fear of Gauss distributions and probability?! They were beautiful, harmless, abstract concepts of life. Your sympathy was muffled by a thrumming headache. All the late-night crying already had you chugging water and slapping ice cubes on your face at breakfast. Right now you just wanted to go home, change into your pjs, order some tangsuyuk and binge watch Boys Over Flowers. The cringy acting and Go Jun Pyo’s luscious locks were the only things that made your miserable life feel a bit less pathetic at the moment. “Jungkook, we went over this last time. Just apply the damn formula,” you snapped.
“Why are you being so scary today?” he asked wide-eyed and apprehensive.
You took a deep breath, rubbed your temples and tried to calm your inner turmoil. It wasn’t his fault; you were just in a really shitty mood. “I’m sorry. It’s not my day today. Is it okay if we rain check? I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.”
Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing you this distraught. He wracked his brain on how to lift your spirit. “Hey, do you want to hear this math joke my friend Jin told me the other day? What do you call an angle that is adorable?”
The boy scrunched his nose adorably and waited for your response. He was really handsome, you noticed that back when you two first met. Back then you just didn’t have a reason to care. Back then you still had a boyfriend.
“I don’t know, tell me,” you answered.
“Acute angle!” he said with a timid smile.
Despite your foul mood you had to snort at his joke.
Jungkook’s smile grew wider. It wasn’t a full laugh, but at least your frown disappeared. He discovered early on that you had a soft spot for bad math puns.
Although he absolutely detested Statistical Analysis, he has come to enjoy your study sessions over the past couple of weeks. The TA of his class, Namjoon, was a close friend of Jungkook’s and a sunbae of yours. Once he discovered that his favorite dongsaeng was abysmal at reading a z-score table, he immediately referred him to you.
At first Jungkook was very reluctant to accept any help. He was a mechanical engineer for fuck’s sake! He calculated distributed load across uneven surfaces and directional derivatives all the time!
His inner protests died down during your first session when you unwittingly asked him if he was constipated while he tried to calculate the standard deviation. During your second session he noticed you liked to doodle small geometric and fractal comics on his work sheets whenever he was solving a problem.
‘What did the triangle say to the circle?’ ‘You’re pointless!’
By the time your third session rolled around he still hated statistics, but it was too late and he’d developed a hopeless crush on you. Your monologues about dead mathematicians and the beauty of an infinite series were oddly captivating. He didn’t think he’d ever met anyone who was so passionate and animated about anything in all his life.
“Is everything okay?” Jungkook asked carefully. You seemed tired and a bit wary. “I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it. Sorry, it’s none of my business,” he immediately added.
You smiled at his flustered state. Jungkook’s heart stumbled when your smile turned sad and you said, “No not really, but I’m sure I’ll be fine sooner or later.”
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[13/04 19:12 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (large) 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim! Omg your tangsuyuk is the best! I could drown in that sauce! How is Tokki doing?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500
Total: 30,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Little Tokki is doing well and bravely guarding our store! Don’t drown, but here’s some extra sauce for you to enjoy. I asked for it to be without pineapple. Hwaiting!
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“Yah! Why does it smell like rotten take-out in your bedroom?” Jisoo asked.
Scowling has become your new go-to expression. “Too soon. Just let me wallow in my self-pity and sorrow.”
If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought your friend was playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ considering how gingerly she walked across your room. Safely on the other side, she ripped open a window to let some much needed fresh air in. 
“I think you’re going to be wallowing in mold and fungus instead,” Jisoo commented with disgust. “Wallow all you want, I’m here to support you, girl. But I can’t allow you to turn your place into a biohazard zone. Isn’t your sister bothered by this?”
“My sister doesn’t care; our rooms are off limits to each other. As long as we both keep the common area clean, she won’t complain,” you said.
Jisoo sat down on your bed and patted the empty spot next to her. She immediately retracted her hand. “Eww, is that tangsuyuk sauce on your sheets?” she asked, completely appalled.
You shrugged and thumped onto your bed.
“So what are your plans for tonight?” she asked, trying to suppress a shudder.
“It’s Monday night. What plans could I possibly have?”
“We’re in college! Weekdays, weekends, they’re all the same!” your friend exclaimed. She looked at your sprawled-out figure. “I told you from the very beginning he wasn’t good for you. I know it doesn’t feel like this right now, but you’re lucky he’s out of your life. I really can’t watch you torture yourself over a jerk like him. Let’s go out to Hongdae!”
“I can’t go out. I already have plans.”
“Didn’t you just say you didn’t have any plans?”
“I lied. I have a date.”
Jisoo paused for a second, unsure how to respond. “Really? With whom?”
“Gong Yoo. We promised to kiss each other on first snowfall,” you responded listlessly.
“Yah!” Jisoo yelled and smacked your butt.
“Oww! What was that for?” you cried in surprise, rubbing the tender spot.
“Re-watching Goblin is not a date! You scared me for a second,” Jisoo said.
“How is it not a date? I meet a hot oppa, multiple hot oppas, we have dinner together, I giggle and blush and at the end of the night I get kissed to sleep.” You sat up and gave your friend a weary look. “I really don’t want to go out right now, but also don’t want to be on my own. Can’t we just stay in and watch a drama?” you asked with the saddest face you could muster.
Jisoo wanted to argue, but she couldn’t resist your pout. “Fine. But first you change your bedsheets, I’m not gonna sit in moldy tangsuyuk sauce all night. And I get to choose the drama.”
“Call!”
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[16/04 17:58 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Kimchi Kimbap 1 Beef Kimbap  ---------------- Note: JK-nim thanks for the extra sauce! It was delicious. Are you a dipper or a pourer?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Kimchi Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Beef Kimbap -- 2,500 1 Soup -- 0
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!
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Paper Note: JK-nim, let’s be friends? I’m also a dipper! Did you know that butterflies can’t fly when they’re cold? Here is one that I folded, sending back my warmest thoughts to you on this frosty spring night.
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The first thing that caught your eye was Jungkook who was patiently waiting at the library entrance. Despite the steaming goods in his hands, his entire body was shivering. The temperature suddenly dropped last night, but he couldn’t be bothered to dig up his padded jacket when he left the house this morning.
Before you could even greet him, he shoved a hot milk tea towards you and mumbled, “Here, it’s cold today so I thought you could use something warm.”
You were surprised by this sweet gesture. “Thanks,” you reached for it and examined the drink in your hand, ”How did you know I like black milk tea?”
He ducked his head and mumbled something into himself.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
Jungkook lifted his head. His cheeks and nose were a lovely wash of pink from the cold. “You mentioned once that you’re an OG milk tea drinker, so I just guessed” he repeated again, louder. “I saw this bungeoppang cart on the way here. We can share them while studying?” he said, holding up a small paper bag.
Your heart warmed and for the first time in weeks your face split into big smile, “Sure, I love bungeoppang! We’re not allowed to eat inside the library. So how about we eat everything first before they get cold and then go in?”
The both of you took a seat on a bench. By now Jungkook definitely regretted being too lazy to find his jacket this morning, but he was determined not to let it show. He passed the bag full of bungeoppangs to you.
You happily reached for one of the fish-shaped pastries and started munching on it. Your face crinkled, steam came out of your mouth. Jungkook’s heart skipped as he watched you in fascination. Your cheeks were flushed. A sudden instinct to stroke your rosy skin overcame him. Instead he reached for a bungeoppang and took a careful bite. “Are you feeling better today?”
“A little bit,” you said between bites, “I’m really sorry about last time. I feel bad now. I ditched you and now you’re treating me to snacks.” You went on and stabbed your straw through your milk tea. “I should be the one treating you instead.”
“I like to treat you,” Jungkook said, mesmerized by the way your lips moved against the straw. He suddenly realized what he was doing and cleared his throat, “A happy teacher is a good teacher! You’re already spending your time tutoring me.”
A laugh slipped out of you, “Jungkook, you’re paying me for your lessons. But it’s okay, this bungeoppang and tea definitely hits the spot, so I’ll accept it with a grateful heart. What are you drinking?”
Jungkook looked down on his drink and gave it a shake, the black pearls swirled around buoyantly. “Banana milk tea, I prefer sweet drinks.”
You leaned back against the bench and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Sweet things are the best combat against the bitter taste of life,” you sighed. You closed your eyes and soaked in the crisp air. Jungkook felt your melancholy, he could warm your body, but he didn’t know how to warm your heart.  
“Sorry that I’m bothering you with my personal stuff. It’s just that I had a really bad breakup recently. I shouldn’t let it affect our lessons,” you said with a wistful smile as you lifted your head again.
The boy next to you remained silent. You turned and saw a contemplative look on his face. “It’s alright, everyone can have a bad day,” he finally said, “You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. If you’re never angry or sad, you won’t know when you’re happy.”
His words stunned you. Has Jungkook always been this thoughtful? You turned away from his gaze and looked down at the pastry in your hand. “They’re rhombus shaped,” you muttered in an attempt of distraction and showed your bungeoppang to Jungkook. “The fish scales,” you added when he looked confused.
“Ah yeah, the scales. It’s actually erroneous since most of the bungeoppangs depict a ganoid scale structure when in fact carps have cycloid scales to allow for a greater flexibility,” Jungkook explained.
A blank look appeared on your face. Probably the same blank look he had whenever you tried to explain the Bayes’ theorem to him. He let out an awkward laugh, “We studied the mechanics of fish scale structures in Material Science. You can correlate the flexibility of a scaled surface depending on its underlying geometric structure and material. It’s pretty cool stuff.”
“I can’t believe you can geek out about the geometry of fish scales, but don’t know how to define your probability population,” you snorted in disbelief. 
“Hey, when will I ever need to calculate the probability of two people with the same birthday in a room? I just have a hard time learning stuff I never have to apply,” he said defensively.
Then you suddenly had an idea. “Tell you what, how about this? If you pass your statistics final, I’ll treat you to the best Chinese take-out in town! You can order whatever you want!”
Jungkook didn’t want to dampen your excitement by telling you that his part-time job already allowed him to eat as much Chinese take-out as he wanted. “Okay, but don’t complain when you go broke. My record was five jjajangmyeon and two tangsuyuk in one sitting.”
You batted away his challenge. “First you have to pass your finals,” you teased.
“I’ll pass,” Jungkook said.
You smiled at his cute determination. “Then it’s a date.”
Jungkook beamed back at you. “It’s a date.”
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[05/05 18:21 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (large) 2 Pork Mandu 1 Tteokkguk 1 Jjajangmyeon 1 Tteokkbokki ---------------- Note: No pineapple plz. JK-nim! Happy Children’s Day! For this special occasion I’ve decided to order all of my childhood favorites. Life is too short to eat bad food. I hope today you treat yourself to something delicious as well!
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“Yah! JK! Your girlfriend placed an order again!” Yugyeom yelled across the store.
A mop of black hair peaked out from the back of the shop. “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a regular,” Jungkook yelled back.
“A regular you flirt with,” Yugyeom snickered, “I saw all the notes you left her in the system. ‘Don’t catch a cold!’, ‘Hwaiting!’ Don’t tell me that’s not your lame attempt at flirting.”
Suddenly an angry Yoongi stomped out of the kitchen. “Keep it down boys, we have guests here.”
Jungkook went up to the register and printed out the online order. “Hyung, can you make a large tangsuyuk without pineapple?”
“It’s a national holiday, there’s like two people here tonight,” Yugyeom muttered under his breath.
“What did you say, Yugyeom?”
“Nothing, hyung!”
Yoongi snatched the order out of Jungkook’s hand and gave both boys another irritated glance before he headed back into the kitchen.
“Hey JK,” Yugyeom said in a lower voice as he moved next to his friend, “aren’t you ever curious how LatteIsHorse is like? I mean, she must have some sense of humor judging by her username.”
“Sometimes. Don’t you ever wonder how our regulars are like? But it’s not like I’m ever gonna meet them or know it’s them when they come into the store,” Jungkook said with a shrug.
“You could though. Mingyu’s out on delivery, Eunwoo’s off so we have a free bike. The store is dead tonight. You could go deliver the order and have a look,” Yugyeom spurred him on.
Jungkook considered his friend’s suggestion. Every time he opened his locker a little origami bunny and butterfly stared back at him and brightened his day. It was true, he was curious how LatteIsHorse was like. “Okay I’ll go, but don’t pretend you’re doing me a favor. You just don’t want to do delivery tonight.”
<Ding Dong>
A pretty girl in a Yonsei hoodie and shorts opened the door. She somehow looked familiar, but Jungkook couldn’t place from where. Maybe he met her on campus before.
“Delivery from Golden Bang,” Jungkook said, holding up his metal box.
“Ah great! I’m starving!” the girl said.
Jungkook started unloading the box and handed the dishes to the girl. Once he was done, he lingered awkwardly in the doorway. The girl gave him a curious look, clearly wondering why he wasn’t leaving. Jungkook gathered his courage and said, “I’m JK by the way.”
What followed was a beat of silence. Jungkook could feel his ears burn.
“Err, it’s nice to meet you, I guess? Is there anything else you need?” the girl asked after the painful pause. “Ah got it! Just a sec!” She ran into the apartment and came back with her wallet. “Here’s a tip, we’ll put the dishes back outside for pick up,” she said as she scrunched a bill into Jungkook’s hand, “Thanks for your hard work. Happy holiday!” And then she shut the door right into his face.
What just happened? Jungkook was stupefied. After an eternity he finally moved and mechanically pulled out his phone. He checked the delivery order on his app. LatteIsHorse – this was the address. She didn’t recognize him. Why was he so naive to believe that she would remember him? All he wanted in that moment was for the ground to open and swallow him up.
“Dinner’s here,” your sister said as you came out of the shower. “Did you order banana milk?”
“No? Why?” you joined her at the dinner table and started rummaging through the dishes. “Where’s the receipt?”
“I threw it in the trash,” she said. When she saw you opening up the trash can and fishing for it, she added, “Gross! What are you doing? Why do you need it?”
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (large) -- 20,000 2 Pork Mandu -- 6,000 1 Tteokkguk -- 4,500 1 Jjajangmyeon -- 4,500 1 Tteokkbokki -- 3,000
Total: 38,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.
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There, sitting on the table, was a small bottle of banana milk. A smile spread across your face. “I need to file it away for tax purposes.”
Your sister looked at you like you were crazy. “Let’s eat already, I’m starving. Wash your hands.”
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[14/05 16:55 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [TAKE AWAY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjajangbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, hope you’re doing well. I’m in the area today, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello in person! Is it weird that I feel a bit nervous?
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The restaurant door wasn’t going to open itself. The past 15 minutes of you standing in front of it has proven that. You had some errands to run in Hongdae after school and decided on a whim to place a pickup order at your favorite take-out place. 
Why was it so difficult to enter a restaurant? If you steeled your nerves any more, they’d probably break from how brittle they’ve become. You just had to open that damn door.
Sometimes you wondered if you liked that place more because of its great tangsuyuk or because of JK’s little notes which always managed to put a smile on your face.
One thing was for sure, you weren’t stalling because of the tangsuyuk.
“Welcome to Golden Bang!” a bright male voice rang across the restaurant as you passed through the door.
You walked up to the register and sneaked a peek at the boy’s name tag, ‘Yugyeom’. You felt a slight twinge of disappointment.
“I’m here to pick up my order? LatteIsHorse?” you asked tentatively.
A sign of recognition flashed across Yugyeom’s face. “Of course, your order’s ready! I’ll just bag it up for you,” he said cheerfully. He walked away and quickly came back with a white plastic bag full of food. Then he printed out your receipt and handed both to you.
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: YG ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjajangbap -- 5,500
Total: 18,500 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
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You looked around the restaurant, it was empty since dinnertime was still a while away. You wondered if Yugyeom was managing the store alone right now. At least the cook must be in. “Your tangsuyuk is really delicious. It’s probably my favorite.”
Yugyeom gave you a big smile, “Happy to hear that you enjoy our food so much. The tangsuyuk is our chef’s family recipe. It’s one of our most popular menu items!”
You wringed your hands and finally decided to bite the bullet and straight out ask, “Is JK here? He usually takes my orders when I order delivery, so I just wanted to say hi.”
“JK’s shift doesn’t start until 6, so he should be here in about half an hour. If you want, I can relay a message,” he said with a knowing smile, “Or you can also take a seat and wait for him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet you.”
No way you were going to sit here for half an hour and wait up for a stranger. “Ah no, that’s alright. If you could just say hi from me, that’d be great,” you quickly replied with a flush. JK would probably think you’re a creepy stalker.
“Sure, can do! Enjoy your day!” Yugyeom said merrily as you walked out the store.
A feeling of both relief and sadness passed through you. You slowly walked down the busy streets of Hongdae as you reprimanded yourself for being so stupid. What were you going to say to JK anyway if you met him? Thanks for being nice to me? You’re the reason I don’t burst into tears every single night? You’re the reason why I don’t feel completely alone when I’m sobbing into my food over Song Joong Ki’s acting? Thanks for making me gain 3 kilos in the last month?
Whatever you said, it would’ve only made you sound pathetic.
A crippling wave of desperation suddenly washed over you and rooted you in your tracks. A single tear rolled down your face. Then another. You dropped down into a crouch and started to bawl. You couldn’t fathom how you’ve reached this all-time low in your life. Why did you feel so incredibly sad about being stood up by a stranger? Especially when that stranger didn’t even know you were coming?
“Y/N?” an alarmed voice asked. You looked up when you felt a soft shake against your shoulder.
Through your tear-blurred eyes you recognized Jungkook’s face. He crouched down next to you and asked, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?”
You shook your head and tried to wipe away your tears. It was a useless attempt as they kept on streaming down your face.
Jungkook hesitantly pushed your hair out of your face and asked, “Do you want to go somewhere else so you can tell me what happened?”
You gave him an imperceptible nod.
His hand gently moved down to your arm, afraid that you were going to push him away. With a steady grip he slowly helped you back onto your feet. Then he slid his hand through yours and led you down the hustle and bustle of Hongdae until you ended up in front of a convenience store located in one of the quieter residential side streets. He sat you down in a plastic chair and told you to wait. After a while he came back with a packet of tissues, a bottle of water and two red bean popsicles.
You gratefully took the tissues and loudly blew your nose. A small part of your brain told you to act more ladylike, especially in front of Jungkook, but the bigger part didn’t really care and just wanted to drag you back down into the pits of loneliness. A strangled sound came out of your mouth as you started to hiccup, making you sound like a drowning cat.
You expected Jungkook to laugh at your weird orchestra of emotions. Even you found it absurd and would’ve laughed if you weren’t already crying and hiccupping at the same time. But all he did was quietly open the water bottle and hand it to you.  
As soon as you lifted the bottle to your mouth another hiccup made you almost spill the water on yourself. You held your breath for a few seconds and then took a careful sip. It seemed to work. You took a bigger sip, when another hiccup racked your body and you squeezed water all over your face.
There was a bewildering moment of shock, then you started to laugh deliriously. Forget before, this was your lowest point in life. This was so pathetic that it was hilarious again. Your laughter garbled whenever you hiccupped, only causing you to laugh even harder. You would’ve continued laughing for another long minute if you weren’t choking for air.
A small smile played around Jungkook’s mouth. He took another tissue and started wiping down your face. You hiccupped under his touch. He must think you’re a nutcase.
“I have a question. We have to do some statistical testing in my Quality Management class. What would a hypothesis look like if I wanted to analyze any deviation in a spare parts production line due to temperature conditions?” Jungkook asked.
Did he really forget hypothesis testing already? He finally managed to get it after four sessions! You frowned slightly. “You could set up a null hypothesis stating that a variation in temperature does not significantly impact the parameter of measurement in your production line. Jungkook did you seriously forget this?!” you said indignantly.
Jungkook gave you a playful laugh, “No, I think you drilled it so hard into my brain, I could probably recite all variables of the standard deviation formula if you woke me up in the middle of the night. Your hiccups stopped though.”
They did.
Embarrassment set in as you realized your predicament. Maybe your hormones were going crazy, maybe you were going crazy. You were getting whiplash from the emotional roller coaster you were on. In an attempt to hide your disgrace, you picked up another tissue and wiped away the remaining water, snot and tears.
There was tangible awkwardness in the air.
“I hope you like red bean,” Jungkook said shyly as he unwrapped a popsicle, “Red bean is my favorite. My friends keep on calling me old fashioned, but it just reminds me of the time when my mom used to buy me these after taekwondo class. I think I liked the popsicles more than I liked going to class.” He sighed in reverie and held up the popsicle for you.
You stared at his hand. You remembered how it felt against yours just a few moments ago. Firm, warm and steady. Then you looked up at Jungkook. He hid it well, but you could tell that there was concern behind his encouraging smile.
“This is so embarrassing,” you said as you accepted the popsicle and turned your head away from him, “I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. I’m usually not like this.”
“Did something happen earlier?” Jungkook asked cautiously as he unwrapped his own popsicle and took a bite out of it.
Did something happen earlier? Why did you cry? Where you really crying just because you didn’t meet JK?
“No,” you said and slowly shook your head, “I don’t know. I just suddenly felt overwhelmed.”
Jungkook hesitated before he asked, “Are you sad because of your breakup?”
Were you sad because of your ex-boyfriend?
“I don’t think so. In the beginning when we broke up I was devastated, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore,” you said more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Everyone told me I was lucky to be rid of him. I really didn’t understand why. But I think it’s becoming clearer now. Maybe it’s not sadness. Maybe it’s fear. I think I just feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Maybe it scares me to know that I was able to lose myself and I don’t know if I can find a way back.”
Before you knew it, you spilled your heart, your deepest and darkest fears to Jungkook. You barely knew this boy, yet it still felt oddly comforting. He remained quiet and listened.
“I wanted to meet someone today, but they weren’t there,” you continued, “I think in that moment I just realized how utterly lost I was on my own.”
Jungkook searched for the appropriate words. How do you respond to someone’s most vulnerable thoughts? “I mean you know what they say. It’s not about how much you’ve lost, it’s about how much you have left.”
He peeked at you to check if it worked.
“Jungkook, did you just quote Iron Man at me?” you asked incredulously before a giggle slipped from your lips.
You noticed how his cheeks dimpled when he gave you an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry, I was trying to say something that would cheer you up. I’m probably not doing a very good job.”
In that second you realized how kind-hearted Jungkook actually was. Your heart squeezed. “Don’t say that. Thanks for listening to my problems. And thanks for the red bean popsicle. I also ate this a lot in my childhood. Mainly because my sister hated them. She always used to steal my ice cream out of the freezer so at some point I asked my parents to only buy me red bean popsicles. She never touched those,” you reminisced.
Jungkook laughed at your story, “Your sister sounds like a piece of work.”
“We used to fight a lot, we used to never get along,” you became thoughtful, “At some point that stopped. I think we just grew up and grew to understand and accept our differences. She doesn’t steal my food anymore. I don’t steal her clothes anymore. We may not always agree, but we respect each other’s decisions.”
“You know, for someone who just said she feels lost, you sound pretty self-reflected right now,” Jungkook mused, “Maybe you need to do the same as you did with your sister. Understand yourself and accept the differences of your past and present.”
You paused at this. He was right. You were so desperately trying to fend off these negative emotions that you never took the time to actually think. You were chasing an image that never existed. Not in the past nor in the present.
“You’re surprisingly good at giving advice. Thanks, Jungkook,” you said.
“Surprisingly? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, offended. The glint in his eyes gave his teasing away.
Laughter pealed from you. Jungkook was captivated by the sound. He drank in the way your eyes creased with mirth and followed your fingers as they brushed back your hair.
Jungkook’s phone vibrated. “Oh shit!”
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I was actually on my way to work and my boss is asking me where I am,” he said as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.
Jungkook startled when you suddenly jumped up. “Then you should get to work! You should’ve said something sooner. I’m so sorry for keeping you here!”
“No, it’s really fine. I’ve done enough overtime. He won’t complain if I’m a few minutes late,” he said, “Are you feeling better?”
You ignored his question and pushed against his shoulders to get him out of the chair. “Go to work, Jungkook. I’ll be fine, your red bean popsicle did wonders,” you responded placatively.
When he still didn’t move, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the main street. Jungkook’s skin scorched under your touch. “Go to work, Jungkook,” you said again with more emphasis.
“Are you sure…?” he asked, unwilling to let you out of his sight before he knew you weren’t just going cry again at the next street corner.
“I won’t burst into tears,” you said as if reading his mind. “You were right, I need to reconcile with myself. So I’ll go home, enjoy my dinner and think about who I am and who I want to be. And you,” you said giving him another gentle shove, “need to go to work.”
Jungkook saw the stubborn look on your face. He wondered if you realized you were using your teaching voice right now. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. “Okay fine, text me when you get home?”
You waved away his concerns. “Sure. Go already,” you said with a big reassuring smile. “See you tomorrow at school!” you added before you turned around and walked away.
“You’re late,” Yugyeom said as soon as Jungkook entered the store.
Jungkook gave Yugyeom a sheepish look and only muttered, “Yeah sorry, something came up on my way here.” Then he rushed past him to the back of the restaurant and changed into his uniform.
Once he came back out he noticed Yugyeom throwing him strange looks.
“What?”
“Your girlfriend says hi,” Yugyeom said with a hint of amusement.
“Who?”
Yugyeom gave Jungkook a meaningful look, “LatteIsHorse. She ordered pick up. I think she was hoping to meet you. She’s cute. She looks like she’s probably a college student around here.”
“I know,” was all Jungkook replied.
Yugyeom’s eyes bulged in curiosity, “You know? You know she’s cute or you know she’s a student? You never told me what actually happened that night!”
Jungkook gave him a tired look and said, “She didn’t recognize me. She wore a Yonsei hoodie, so I guess she goes there. Nothing else happened.”
“Hmm, that’s weird. She was asking for you today, so she definitely knows your name,” Yugyeom said.
“Who knows, maybe she was having a lot on her plate that day,” Jungkook said with a shrug. He wondered where you lived and if you already got home safely. “Why are you obsessing over this so much?”
“Man, do you know how painful it is to watch your sorry attempts at flirting? I’m just trying to help you out, mate,” Yugyeom quipped.
“I wasn’t flirting! I was just trying cheer someone up who was obviously feeling down! It’s called being a decent human being,” Jungkook exclaimed.
Yugyeom gave him the side eye, “Yeah, that’s still not gonna get you laid.”
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[19/05 18:47 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Bibimbap ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I visited you at the store last week, but you weren’t there. TT-TT I hope you don’t think I’m weird, I just really like talking to you. You always manage to put a smile on my face when I’m having a hard day. We’re still friends, right?
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Bibimbap -- 5,000
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! I’m sad that I missed your visit to our store. I’ll try harder the next time! I added some extra bulgogi to make up for it. :) Of course we’re still friends. I don’t wish any hard days upon you, but I’m glad to hear that my words have a healing effect. In case you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. 010-1234-5678.
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The study sessions with Jungkook continued per usual. He still struggled and had frustrated outbursts from time to time, especially when you forced him to revise probability distributions. When you finally reached regression analysis, things became easier.
Although your sessions remained the same, something in your dynamic changed. The both of you became looser and more playful around each other. He wouldn’t clamp up anymore and you felt more at ease around him. You became friends. He never once mentioned that disasterous afternoon.
At home, on the evening of the incident, you shot Jungkook a text and slumped down on the couch. Your sister was out that night, so it was just you in the apartment. Normally, the eerie quiet would’ve unsettled you and you would’ve distracted yourself from your deafening thoughts. But that night you just let them scream, yell and tear at you.
It was an excruciating process, but in the end your head was clearer, your heart calmer. You still weren’t quite there yet, but at least you made a first step out of the endless pit of desperation.
There were other things you noticed about yourself. Gradually you realized you didn’t mind being on your own anymore. You rediscovered your love for drawing and created you own mandala art. You also learned to code your own website and now had a clickable version of your cv on the go. Although you made time for yourself, you weren’t a hermit. You went out for drinks with Jisoo and soon asked Namjoon to take you along to your university’s Math Club. There you met a lot of familiar faces that you’ve encountered in class but never talked to. With them you spent animated evenings discussing stimulating math problems and exchanging incredibly bad math puns.
You also started noticing things about Jungkook. He wasn’t as timid and shy as you initially thought. Once he got over his awkwardness, he turned out to be quite a cheeky and goofy guy. He teased you or told you silly jokes whenever you were on a break. Despite his obvious aversion for statistics, he still took your lessons very seriously. Diligently listening to your explanations and trying to solve the problems to the best of his abilities. His study-mode showed you other sides of him. The cute pout he had whenever he tried to hide his confusion. Or the two little ridges which formed between his eyes whenever he was concentrated and deep in thought. More often than not you fought the urge to smooth them out with your touch or even better, with a kiss.
“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked when he caught you staring.
“No,” you quickly said, “I was just thinking that you don’t seem to have much trouble with regression analysis.”
“I don’t know, the relationship between the variables just makes much more sense,” Jungkook said.
You looked at him and considered, “Hmm, maybe you don’t need my tutoring anymore?”
Brief dismay crossed Jungkook’s face. “My finals are in three weeks. I think I’d still prefer if you helped me revise the earlier chapters,” he said, “Unless you need more time to study for your own finals.”
Being in college meant that you were always in dire need of more time. That constant nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to study was an occupational disease. But you didn’t have to kid yourself, those four hours a week spent on Jungkook weren’t going to make or break your grade. Besides, you enjoyed spending time with him. You wondered if he felt the same.
“It’s alright, I’ll help you revise. Just don’t embarrass me on your finals. I don’t want Namjoon to tell me afterwards that you didn’t manage to calculate the mean of the population or worse, read the scoring table upside down,” you teased him light-heartedly.
Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. “That happened once!” he said, “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”
You laughed at his indignation. “Don’t forget, you’ll get endless tangsuyuk if you pass.”
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[26/05 20:09 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
1 Tangsuyuk (small) 1 Jjamppong ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I’d like to get the advice of a friend. There’s this kind, sweet boy that I really like. I would like to tell him how I feel, but he’s seen me in my lowest and ugliest moments. Maybe he’ll think I’m just baggage? I guess I’m afraid of his rejection.
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Golden Bang 7 Wausan-ro 29-gil, Seogyo-dong
Server: JK ------------------- TO GO
1 Tangsuyuk (small) -- 13,000 1 Jjamppong -- 5,000 1 Soju -- 0
Total: 18,000 -------------------- Thanks for ordering at Golden Bang! Have a golden day!
Note: LatteIsHorse-nim! It’s only human to fear rejection. I can completely understand. I also have someone I really like. She’s really pretty, smart and funny. Spending time with her makes me really happy, but I never managed to tell her. Maybe we should both gather our courage and cheer each other on? I’m not saying that drunken confessions are the way to go but consider this soju a symbolism for (liquid) courage.
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Paper Note: This is a flexagon. Whenever you need a word of encouragement give it a flip!
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Jungkook examined the hexagonal origami in his hands. On the outside it read ‘Flip Me!’
He gave the flexagon a flip. ‘JK you’re the best!’ And another. ‘The world needs more people like you!’ And another. ‘Don’t forget that LatteIsHorse is always rooting for you!’ And another. ‘Aja, aja, hwaiting!’ And another. ‘Thank you for being my friend!’
Jisoo barged into you room and flopped onto your bed. ‘Ahhh! I’m so glad you finally cleaned in here. Seriously, if I find another rancid noodle stuck to my clothes, I’ll call in a hazmat team.”
“I don’t know why you’re complaining so much. It’s not even your room,” you said.
“Hey, where are you ever going to find a friend like me?”
Your friend sacrificed many a night away from college parties to binge watch handsome oppas sweep equally beautiful unnies off their feet with you. And she wasn’t shy telling you that.
“Let’s go out tonight,” Jisoo suggested. She rolled back onto her feet and started walking around, inspecting your cleaning job.
“Our finals start in two weeks; I really don’t want to spend my weekend nursing a hangover.”
“I’m not saying you have to get wasted. Tonight is the Pre-Game Night. We have to go!” Jisoo demanded.
The Final’s Pre-Game Night was a campus-wide tradition. Every semester on the Friday a week before finals huge parties were thrown to signal the beginning of the end. It was like a dare – were you confident enough to get completely drunk and still hope to pass your finals? Naturally everybody on campus joined in and drank.
“Not getting wasted at a Pre-Game party? That’s like saying you’ve decided you don’t need to breathe. I really don’t think…”
“What’s this?” Jisoo suddenly interrupted. “LatteIsHorse-nim! Personally, I’m a dipper, but I don’t discriminate! I added some broth as service for you. It’s chilly tonight. Don’t catch a cold!” she read aloud, “LatteIsHorse-nim! Happy Children’s Day to you too! I added my favorite childhood drink, banana milk! I hope it brings back as many happy childhood memories for you as it does for me.”
You flung yourself across the room and almost tripped over your own feet trying to rip the receipts out of Jisoo’s hands.
“Oh. My. God. Is your take-out guy flirting with you?!” she asked.
“No! He’s just a friend. We send encouraging notes to each other,” you tried to explain.
Jisoo threw her hands in the air. “Okay that’s it! We’re going to the Pre-Game party, whether you want or not. You can’t tell me that the only flirting interaction you have is with a stranger who delivers you tangsuyuk!”
The place Jisoo picked out was ram packed and buzzing with energy. It was an open dorm party; all the common rooms were transformed into dancefloors. Different types of music played from each corner of the building. Crates of alcohol were stacked against the walls.
The both of you grabbed a beer and made your way through the crowd.
“You’re going to have fun tonight, alright?”
“I don’t think this works that way,” you laughed.
“Then put some effort into it. We look way too cute for it to go to waste,” she said as you roamed around the floors and explored the different areas. You looked down on your dress. It was a pretty warm night; you had opted for a flowy summer dress with a blush pink floral pattern. Jisoo was right, it was cute.
You discovered a familiar face at the edge of the crowd. “Sunbae!” you said.
Namjoon turned around gave you a surprised smile. “Y/N! Out of all the places on campus, we meet each other here tonight. What are the chances?”
He was surrounded by a group of friends, you spotted Jungkook right behind him. The boy gave you an excited wave. A slow smile spread across your face. “I don’t know, but why don’t we ask Jungkook to calculate it for you?”
Namjoon let out a hearty laugh while Jungkook groaned in exasperation.
“Do you see what I have to put up with every week, hyung?”
“Didn’t you just say it’s the best thing that happened to you?” Namjoon taunted, “You have some nerve showing up in front of me tonight. You better ace your SA finals. Do you know how many favors I had to pull to get Y/N to tutor you?”
“What do you expect me to do?” Jungkook sputtered, “Go home and lock myself up on Pre-Game Night?”
If it weren’t for Jisoo you would’ve done just that. Speaking of Jisoo, your friend cleared her throat and gave you a painful nudge in the side.
“Ah yes, uhm, Jisoo you already know Namjoon. This is Jungkook. You know, the guy I’m tutoring.”
Jungkook gave her a small wave.
Jisoo didn’t even try to hide her amazement. “This is Jungkook? But you’re like wayyy cute!” She turned to you and added still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why didn’t you tell me he was cute?!”
The embarrassment was obvious on Jungkook’s face. You could tell that Namjoon was getting a rush out of his dongsaeng’s reaction and before he could provoke him any further you decided to jump in.
“Who wants to go dance?” you asked loudly. You turned around and headed to the dancefloor without waiting for any of them to respond.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were tutoring a hunk?” Jisoo muttered under her breath.
“He’s not a hunk. Don’t call him that.”
“Yeah but he’s hot. You made him sound like he was a nerd.”
“He is a nerd.”
Your friend gave you a glare, “Why are we arguing about this? I know you’re not that oblivious.”
Of course you weren’t oblivious to Jungkook, but you weren’t going to tell Jisoo that.
“Let’s dance.” You grabbed Jisoo’s hand and twirled her around.
Namjoon and his friends joined you on the dancefloor. The mood of the crowd was electric. Music pulsed through your veins. Drinks flowed, shots were downed, people pulled out their best, lamest, craziest dance moves. Everyone celebrated like the world was going to end.
After a while you became hot and needed a new drink. You looked around for Jisoo and saw her grinding up against one of Namjoon’s friends. She’d be busy for a while. You inconspicuously moved away from the group and decided to go get some fresh air.  
“Wait up,” Jungkook said as he appeared next to you, “are you getting something to drink? I’ll join you.”
His dark curls were slightly matted with sweat. His baggy t-shirt clung to his body. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or Jisoo’s damn voice whispering into your ear. He was hot.
You circled your arm through his and pulled him through the crowd. His muscles shifted under your touch. You grabbed two drinks from a crate and handed one to Jungkook, your nerves tingled when his hand brushed against yours. The both of you remained in comfortable silence, leisurely walking through the dorm, neither of you in a hurry to get back to your friends. You explored the facility areas, weaving through pounding and quiet parts of the building.
“You look really nice tonight,” he said after a while.
The heels of your shoes echoed against marble floor of the dark hallway. “Thanks, Jisoo raided my closet.”
“She’s really something isn’t she?”
“She’s the best. I’m grateful to have her as my friend.”
Somewhere further down the hallway you made out two figures pressed against the wall, probably trying to find a quiet place of their own.
“You also look nice,” you said to Jungkook.
“I’m wearing the same things I always do,” Jungkook said, his voice turning shy.
You were getting closer to the couple. You could see how the guy was sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat. She seemed to enjoy it from the sounds she was making. Lucky them.
Your next words were definitely fuelled by your tipsy state, “I guess that means you always look nice.” Jungkook missed a step. You had to laugh at his blunder.
The couple in front of you broke apart and looked in your direction. More annoyed about being interrupted rather than embarrassed being caught. You were about to make a funny comment to Jungkook when your heart stopped and you froze.
A string of saliva still clung to the guy’s lips. His eyes widened when he recognized your face in the darkness. “Y/N?”
Your breath hitched and your grip tightened around Jungkook’s arm. He glanced between you and the guy, the situation slowly dawning on him.
“Why did you stop? Who’s that?”, the girl whined.
“No one,” the guy responded as he returned his attention to her and they started making out again.
Jungkook didn’t know if he wanted to puke or punch that guy. A sharp pain in his arm brought him back to his senses. Your nails dug into his skin. He put his hand around yours and loosened your iron grip.
“Let’s go,” he said and quickly pulled you past the couple. You followed him in a daze. He stopped once you were outside of the building, hidden away in a quiet corner.
His hands reached for your face and he lifted your eyes to his. “Breathe.”
You closed your eyes, let out a long breath and let your head fall against the wall behind you. The horrible encounter replayed in your mind. You had to open your eyes again.
There he was right in front of you. Worried Jungkook, kind Jungkook, beautiful Jungkook.
Your hands reached behind his neck and you pulled him a bit closer. You tried to decipher his gaze, it was dark and yearning. Everything was a haze, the alcohol in your blood made you daring.
“Kiss me,” you whispered.
His mouth crashed against yours. Your hands slipped up into his hair and your bodies entwined. You opened your lips and sucked in his hot breath. Your tongues found each other; he groaned at your taste.
He moved one of his hands down your side until he found purchase on your leg and hitched it up against his waist, pressing his body further into you. You let out a moan when his hips ground into yours.
All your senses drowned in Jungkook. You drowned in his scent, you drowned in his touch, you drowned in his heat. You tried to use Jungkook to drown out the grotesque image from before. Suddenly the heat of the moment disappeared, and a cold shower ran down your spine.
You broke away from your breathless kiss and put your hands against Jungkook’s chest to put some distance between you. He gave you a disoriented look.
“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed.”
Jungkook’s eyes grew wide and alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?”
His lips were swollen, his hair was mussed. You wanted nothing more than to pull him back in, but you couldn’t. Not here. Not like this. He deserved better.
You pushed yourself off the wall and gave him a small shove. He immediately let go of you and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like this,” was all you said before you ran back into the building.
The next day you woke up to a splitting headache and a heart full of regret. You really needed to talk to Jungkook and explain to him why you ran away the previous night, but you were too much of a coward to pick up your phone and contact him. You decided it was better to talk to him in person at school.
The following week at school you waited for him in the library. Your heart was in your throat. Your prepared speech played in an endless loop in your head.
‘I’m sorry I ran away. I shouldn’t have kissed you in that state. It wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better than that.’
You looked down on your phone to check the time. A message blinked. You opened and read through it. Your heart sank. He wasn’t coming. He wanted to study the last week before finals on his own. He thanked you for your time.
Slowly you got up and packed your bag. You blew it. You wanted to do him right, but you only caused him pain. Thinking back, you realized he gave and gave and gave and all you did was take. He was right to stay away from you. There was no way he’d be happy with someone like you.
The week passed and finals week commenced. You immersed yourself in your exams and tried to get over your heavy heart. You were pretty sure you aced Geometry II, but the Numerical Analysis exam was nothing but a blur.
Although your heart ached, you didn’t fall back into the same dark pit of the past. You didn’t feel lost, you got on with your life. Nobody noticed the Jungkook-sized hole in your heart except for you. You wanted to talk about your feelings, but you didn’t think Jisoo or your sister would understand. They’d probably just tell you to get out there and find a new guy.
Another week passed. You were walking out of your professor’s office, finalizing the details of your summer internship, when you bumped into Namjoon.
“Y/N! What are you doing here? Aren’t you off for summer break yet?” he asked.
“I was just discussing my internship with Prof. Kim,” you said.
“Ah you’re participating in his research program?” Namjoon said, “I heard it’s really interesting, he’s intense though.”
“I think intense is fine for me, I need something to do with my brain. Otherwise I’ll just go crazy,” you said with a smile.
“Speaking of intense, what did you do to that kid?” Namjoon suddenly asked.
You tensed. Did something happen to Jungkook? “What do you mean?”
“Did you brainwash him or something? He got a 98 on his SA final! When I handed him over to you, he was still asking me why the positive and negative z-scores tables had different values,” Namjoon said in awe.
Relief washed through you and your chest filled with pride. “Watch out sunbae, I might be coming for your TA position,” you said with a wink.
At home you sprawled out on the couch. Your sister’s classes ended earlier than yours so now she was away with her friends travelling the countryside. Your mind wandered as you stared up at the ceiling of your quiet apartment. You really wanted to call Jungkook and congratulate him, but you didn’t think you should. He clearly didn’t want to be in contact with you, you hadn’t heard anything from him since his text canceling your study sessions.
A pang of sadness washed through you. It should have been a happy moment for the both of you, you should be eating tangsuyuk together right now. You really wanted to tell someone about your joy and your grief.
Then you suddenly remembered your friend. Your friend who never judged and always had something wise to say. Maybe he would understand the conflicts of your heart. You got up and dug through the receipts on your desk until you found the one with his phone number on it.
You hoped he wouldn’t think you were crazy, but then again, he was the one who offered himself to talk to you any time. You typed in the number and hit call. Your phone dialed when suddenly the number displayed switched to a name. Jungkook.
You quickly hit the cancel button and stared at your phone. Did you accidentally hit Jungkook’s contact? Was your phone broken? This time you typed in the number more carefully and hit call. Again, the display switched to Jungkook’s name. You hit cancel.
Your heart began to race. You opened up Jungkook’s contact and compared it with the number on the receipt.
Holy shit.
JK was Jungkook. Jungkook was JK.
The stranger who cheered you on and made you smile whenever you felt down was Jungkook. You combed through all your receipts and reread them one by one. What was the probability for this to happen? This was so bizarre, but it made so much sense. Jungkook was the kindest person you knew. Why wouldn’t he be kind to a stranger who needed some uplifting words and comforting tangsuyuk?
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[13/06 18:20 PM] User: LatteIsHorse ---------------- ORDER [DELIVERY]
3 Tangsuyuk (large) 6 Jjajangmyeon ---------------- Note: JK-nim, I hope you’re doing well! Can I ask you for a strange favor? Would you mind delivering today’s order to me? I would really like to meet you and thank you in person for always being by my side! <3
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<Ding Dong>
The doorbell rang. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. You slowly walked up to the door and opened it.
“Delivery from Golden…,” Jungkook’s voice faltered.
“Hi JK-nim,” you said quietly. You opened the door wider. “Thanks for coming today.”
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.
You had to smile at his look of utter confusion. “I live here. Come in, you can put the food on the dining table.” You turned around and walked back into the apartment.
Jungkook hesitated before he followed you inside. He moved up to the table and unloaded his box. He tried to steady himself. “You’re LatteIsHorse-nim?” he asked skeptically, “I’ve been here before. Last time someone else opened the door.”
He has visited you before? “Oh, that was probably my sister. I live here with her. She’s out travelling right now.”
“So you’re on your own right now? Why did you order so much food?” he asked. A giant mountain of neatly stacked dishes graced the table.
You came up and pried the metal box out of his hand. Then you moved in front of him and unclasped his bike helmet. He flinched at your sudden closeness.
“To celebrate. Congratulations on passing your Statistical Analysis exam. Namjoon told me you passed in flying colors,” you said in a gentle voice. “I promised you the best Chinese take-out in town, didn’t I?”
Jungkook still looked shell-shocked and simply stared at you.
“I’m sorry about that night at the Pre-Game party. I’m sorry I ran away. I owe you an explanation.”
Jungkook regained his wits and swallowed. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it, we were drunk. It was a mistake.” He looked down and tried to turn back around.
You grabbed onto his hands before he could move away. “Jungkook, look at me.”
He stopped turning, but his eyes remained on the floor.
You took a deep breath and squeezed his hands. “I really like you. I’ve really liked you for a while now.”
His eyes shot up to your face.
“The reason why I ran away that night was because I felt guilty. I probably would’ve ended up kissing you anyway, but in that moment, I kissed you because I wanted to forget. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that. I wanted it to be the me who liked you and not the me who tried to drown out her shitty ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
There was an unreadable look in his eyes. Your heart fluttered in nervousness. “How long have you known I was JK? How long did you know I had a crush on you?” he asked.
You could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the butterflies in your stomach beat like crazy. “Since today. I was sad because I thought I couldn’t share the promised meal with you. I wanted a friend to talk to, so I thought to call you. You who was always kind to me, even when I wasn’t kind to myself. Isn’t fate strange? We cheered each other on to find each other.” You had to laugh at the irony of it all.
Your hand hesitantly moved up to his face and stroked across his cheek, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you sad.”
Jungkook melted against your touch. “If I’m never sad, I won’t know when I’m happy.” Then he closed the gap and pressed his lips against yours.
It was a sweet but sad kiss. Filled with happiness and sorrow. Every touch was filled with an ‘I missed you’ or an ‘I’m sorry’.
Jungkook pressed you against the edge of your dining table, he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You both deepened your kiss. Your hands snaked through his hair and pulled him closer into you. Jungkook braced his hands against the table and instinctively ground his hips against your core. You moaned his name at the sensation. The both of you broke apart to catch your breaths, you pulled at his jacket and removed his layers of clothing.
You stilled at the sight of his bare chest. He was truly beautiful. Your fingers traced along his skin and marvelled at its silkiness. Jungkook shuddered under your touch. His hands moved under your shirt and you both lifted it off your head. Then you gripped his hands and slowly led them around your back, urging him to take off your bra. You wriggled out of your jeans and laid yourself completely bare in front of him. Jungkook stopped and stared at you, equally amazed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.
Your heart swelled and you pulled him back into a kiss. Both his kisses and his hands left a burning trail down your body. His mouth sucked on the soft skin of your neck while his hands moved across your breast, across your stomach, lower and lower. Wetness gathered between your legs.
“Jungkook,” you sighed. The muscles of his back shifted under your touch.
He released your neck with a loud smack and looked at the artwork he created. He still couldn’t get over how overwhelmingly beautiful you were. Your cheeks flushed, eyes bright and his name at the tip of your tongue. He felt himself strain against his confines.
“Please,” you whimpered. You looked down at his hand and tried to silently command him to touch you.
He kept his eyes trained on your face when his fingers moved lower and slid through your folds. Another moan left your lovely lips. He teased you with his touches, gathering your wetness until he finally pushed down where you wanted him most. Your hands dug into his back, your hips bucked, and you threw your head back in pleasure. He steadied your hips with his other hand and slowly pushed a finger inside of you. Another loud moan echoed through the room.
Jungkook was transfixed by you. He added a second finger and started pushing in and out. Your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and small breathless pants left your mouth. Jungkook increased the speed of his movement and marvelled at the way you reacted under his touch. Then he moved his mouth to your breast and closed his lips around your nipple. You raked your hands through his hair and arched into him. Your core tightened around his fingers. All your nerves were on fire.
You pulled him away from your breast and guided his mouth back to yours. Your tongue traced his lips and you swallowed his moan. You wanted more, you wanted him closer. His fingers curled and his thumb pressed down on you. Jungkook held you tight as you shuddered and fell apart around him.
He rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingled as you both panted into each other. He slowly removed his hand from you and traced his mouth with his slicked fingers, then he moved them to your lips. Your tongue licked the tips of his fingers. His grip tightened around your waist.
“I want to feel you,” you said.
Jungkook shuddered at your words. “Where is your room?”
“The door behind you.”
Jungkook lifted you off the table, you tightened your legs around him and gave him another kiss. He walked you both to your room and gently laid you down on your bed. He took off his pants, then slowly moved onto the bed and hovered above you.
“Tell me what you want,” he said.
Your fingers caressed his face. “I want you to be happy.”
Another shudder ran through him. “I am happy. What else?”
You traced his eyes, his nose, his lips. “I want to be the one making you happy.”
Jungkook couldn’t contain himself anymore. His heart felt like it was about to explode. He covered your body with his and pressed himself into you. Your eyes rolled back as he entered you slowly. You felt so full you wanted to burst out of your skin. You could feel how the Jungkook-sized whole in your heart filled up again.
He rocked into you and took your breath away. Your nails raked across his back and left red lines against his smooth skin. Jungkook ducked his head into the crook of your neck and moaned against your skin. Every pull dragged pleasure out of you, every push brought you closer together.
You wanted more. Jungkook gave you more.
You wanted him closer. Jungkook pushed deeper into you.
With every moan, Jungkook pushed harder, pushed deeper. He wanted to melt into you. He wanted the lines between you and him to disappear. Your desire was his desire. His pleasure was your pleasure.  
Jungkook could feel you tightening around him. He moved his mouth over yours and gave you an ardent kiss. The light of your desire turned brighter and brighter until it burst apart into a thousand little flames. You cried against his lips and let the heat consume you. Your body pulsed around his and the overwhelming sensation brought him right over the edge with you.
The both of you laid on your bed and clung to each other. Neither of you willing to let the other go. Your pounding chests beat in tandem. Jungkook stroked his hand across your hair and kissed your head.
“I want you to be happy too,” he said.
“I know,” you said as you smiled against his chest, “You make me happy.”
Jungkook pulled you tighter into him and you remained silent for a while. His hand traced lazy patterns against your skin. Your breathing evened out.
“Are you allergic to pineapple?” he suddenly asked.
You looked up at him in surprise. “No. Why?”
“Because you always order tangsuyuk without pineapple.”
“Oh. That’s because my sister hates pineapple.”
Jungkook frowned, you pulled yourself up and kissed the little ridges between his eyes.
“What?” you asked.
“I think the jjajangmyeon is all soggy by now,” he said.
You had to laugh. “Probably, but the tangsuyuk should still taste great.”
Jungkook kissed you with a smile. “You’re right, tangsuyuk always tastes great.”
°°°°°°°
02/05/20
Copyright © 2020 full-of-jams. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost or translate without permission.
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ogradyfilm · 3 years ago
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Ghostbusters: Afterlife - What’s Wrong with a Little Fan Service?
[The following essay contains MAJOR SPOILERS; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!]
A tower of books stacked from floor to ceiling, so perfectly balanced that not even an earthquake can topple it. A shelf containing a collection of mold, spore, and fungus samples. A Twinkie stashed in a glove compartment. Jason Reitman’s Ghostbusters: Afterlife is packed with allusions to its 1984 predecessor. Some of these references call attention to themselves; others are content to haunt the background without comment. In either case, fans of the original film are sure to notice them and rejoice.
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A few vocal critics, however, insist that Ghostbusters: Afterlife relies too heavily on such nostalgic winks and nods, sacrificing a distinctive identity in favor of empty “fan service.” Pardon my bluntness, but I simply can’t bring myself to agree with these shallow, hyperbolic “art is dead” sentiments. Yes, it is true that the movie resurrects Harold Ramis via CGI for one last reunion with his old costars; you could make a convincing argument that this controversial creative choice sets a dangerous precedent… but in my opinion, this specific posthumous cameo appearance is executed with remarkable taste and tact, paying tribute to the man that really tied the franchise together (somebody needed to rein in Dan Aykroyd’s ambitious vision).
And while the plot revisits familiar narrative territory—wanton destruction of property during first contact with the paranormal, possession by horny hellhounds, a climactic showdown with Gozer the Gozerian—Reitman and his collaborators also contribute plenty of new ingredients to the formula. McKenna Grace's Phoebe Spengler, for example, is an inspired protagonist; her character arc—an awkward loner gradually finding herself amongst fellow outcasts and underdogs—adds a layer of internal conflict that was absent from the series’ previous two installments.
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Ultimately, though, Ghostbusters: Afterlife is enjoyable neither because of nor in spite of its abundance of fan service; it succeeds on its own merits. Still, as a longtime fan (practically since I was in diapers, chugging Ecto Cooler out of a sippy cup), I can't deny that this belated sequel served me exactly what I wanted.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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