#christmas messages for friends
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j… jesus oppa ;____;
#ashsksjsks jesus k-idol era… and when he does his comeback stage…..???#i just want you to know the last thing i saw before my plane took off was an “i’m going to jesus cafe” message from my grandma#and the first thing i saw when i landed fifteen hours later yesterday was 130+ unread messages on kakaotalk#and i opened it and most of it was cutesy photos my grandma had sent me of her and white jesus#also: she is not even christian…. her friends were like wanna come and she was just like WHY NOT?#also… if you’re interested… in japan there’s a manga called 聖☆おにいさん (translated as ‘saint young men’)#which focuses on the lives of roomates jesus and buddha#(also there are fancomics based on this… including. of course. jesus/judas)#christmas
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Christmas in Mount Justice
cartoon version of Young Justice, written instead of sleeping and I'll be honest, I kinda run out of steam at the end, but it'd take me until next year if I didn't push through, so here it is, and hopefully it's not quite visible where I started pushing through it, I hope you'll enjoy
words: 4633
“Since, hopefully, this is the last time we're seeing each other before Christmas–” Black Canary announced, stretching after finished training“ I wish you all merry and healthy and boring Christmas” she finished with a wide warm smile. Danny barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. This goddamn worst time of the year. He checked once more if his mental shields were up. According to M'gann, ghosts were really loud on mind reading wavelengths so he needed to keep them up most of the time. He wasn't an asshole to drown his friend in absolute hatred of Christmas.
“You too Black Canary!” Wally yelled, running like the earth was burning to get cookies M'gann baked “By the way, what are your plans?” he asked upon his return.
Did they really have to keep talking about it? Danny was half considering just dropping through the floor to escape this conversation but chose against it because he really didn't want to answer all the questions it would cause or hear a ‘you can't deal with all unwanted conversations by escaping them’ lecture again any time soon. He could and he would, the Freakshow incident was just one way to prove it.
“B and I have to attend some stuffy rich people party” Robin said with clear displeasure “I still need to plan what mess to stir there. Chandeliers swinging are banned and so is arson so I have to get creative.”
“You actually set something on fire?! That's sick as hell!” the speedster's enthusiasm didn't waver as he threw a few cookies at Danny. It was nice that someone remembered about Danny's slightly enhanced metabolism. They (both Young Justice and Amity squad) still didn't understand it completely but the working hypothesis was that he needed to eat more to make up for ectoplasm he couldn't consume in quantities big enough for his ghost side since it was poisonous to humans and he had to dose it carefully. Being a halfa was rough like that some(most)times.
“Well, lighter is easy to sneak inside–” Robin explained and honestly Danny never expected to hear Gotham’s feared vigilante go over logistics of arson but he guessed it was his life now, he could use this info to do something about at least one Christmas tree in Amity or share it with Sam. She mentioned some upcoming rich people party too”–and amount of alcohol there is astonishing, really you'd think that people would try to stay sober on event like that but apparently–”
“I'm having dinner with my mom and some family friends–” Artemis interrupted “Can't wait spend God knows how many hours with all of them talking over each other and asking awkward questions” she tried to sound displeased but there was no way she could hide her fondness and wasn't that a wild thing to see. Seriously, he almost choked on a cookie. In theory Danny knew some people genuinely liked Christmes but–
Just like that? Just happy to–
Yeah, he knew but couldn't quite comprehend. Sam was exactly like that, found but trying to seem annoyed to keep up with her goth persona. Tucker was way more open about his delight.
For Danny Christmas was only too loud because everyone was singing badly and too bright because of lights and too stuffy and there was this damned argument about Santa and yelling and fe–
“Oh, me too! We also planned a movie night with Central Rogues, this time it's Cold’s turn. I wish he won't pick Die Hard again…”
Well, Danny guessed movie night with Rogues, that clearly meant an off evening since they wouldn't try to stir things up while watching the movie, sounded like a really nice idea. Personally he would do without people who try to turn him into a pulp every other day but apparently things worked differently in Central.
“King Orin wanted to introduce me to some surface celebrations as well,” Kaldur said with a warm smile and halfa forcefully stopped himself from giving their leader a weird look. Even him?! Betrayal, absolute betrayal!
“Well, I don't really celebrate so I'm staying here, maybe training a bit, I'm not sure yet,” M'gann announced shyly and it took all his willpower to not hug her for being the only sensible person in the room.
“Yeah, I'm staying too. Apparently I'm not invited to family gatherings” Conner added bitterly.
“Honestly your not missing much,” Danny muttered “It's just perfectly prepared and measured argument breeding space, believe me”
Wally tried to protest but one pointed glare and it dissolved through power of ‘don't make Conner feel about it any worse than he already does’. Danny felt a little guilty for using it to sooth his own hatred towards Christmas but not too much. He really wanted to reassure his friend and ways he went about it were no one else's business.
“And what are your plans, Danny?” M'gann asked gently after he didn't continue. He really wished he didn't have to answer but keeping his emotions hidden meant nobody could see that something was up and say ‘you don't have to tell if you don't want to’ or other shit like that.
“Not sure yet. I think I will crash with you here honestly. If we believe this magic book we found, there is a Christmas truce in Zone, so there shouldn't be any ghost attacks and your company is always great,” he smiled sincerely.
“Wouldn't your parents ask questions if you just skipped Christmas, though?” Wally asked a bit cautiously but Danny waved his concern off with a vague ‘eh’ sound.
“Will you show us some Christmas traditions then? As a part of ‘earthly traditions’ course?” M'gann's eyes almost shone with excitement and Conner looked hopeful and it made him feel conflicted. The whole point of crashing in Mount Justice with two aliens was to not touch anything Christmas related with thirty feet long stick but alas M'gann asked nicely and was pretty. These were two big ideals fighting inside of him then and there while he tried to keep his face and outer mind blank enough to not bring any suspicion.
Betrayal to second, no third, power! He wanted to escape this hell of an experience!
But well, he could shape the experience in a way that's the least painful and M'gann and Conner were really great friends…
“Sure”
He couldn't quite match her enthusiastic grin or even Conner’s bit smaller one.
He was going to regret it, wouldn't he?
***
“Guys, I messed up so bad…” Danny whined, curling on Sam's enormous bed covered in fluffy blankets and nice pillows.
“What did you do this time?” girl asked with a smirk. Halfa was sometimes mad how well his friends knew him and didn't take his dramatics as seriously as he would like to.
“I wanted to have a sleepover at Team's HQ during Christmas, you know, to escape it. Only ones who will stay are Miss Martian and Superboy, aliens, so I thought it's a good idea. And then they asked me to show them ‘earthly Christmas traditions’ and I AGREED!” he yelled, his hands flying dramatically at the confession.
His friends, little traitors they were, just laughed.
He came to get some help, advice on either doing this introduction well because Danny Fenton was known for a lot of things but half-assing projects he agreed to do wasn't one of them (homework was obligatory without his consents ergo didn't count) or gracefully getting away from mess his idiocy brought onto him, not to be laughed at! He had enough of it at other times.
Though they got to work when they calmed down, making Danny revisit the idea of not talking to them ever again and throwing it out of the window.
“Alright,” Tucker started, preparing his note and planner apps before continuing “what do you want to show them? Gingerbread house?”
“Of course” Danny huffed because as much as he hated Christmas and its traditions, gingerbread house was decent one. Making one at Tucker's place three years ago when he had been introduced to the idea was one of his best memories related to the holiday. Even though it was cut short by trip to the ER because dumbass little Danny had wanted a little gingerbread man he set aside and he had eaten him still all fresh and 350°F hot and got severe burns in his mouth and throat because apparently his instinctual response to burning in his mouth was to swallow instead of to spit.
“Gifts.” Sam raised in a way that meant she was not taking any complaints and Danny didn't really want to argue. His track record with gifts from his parents wasn't too good ever since he had a brief just-like-dad phase and they didn't realize it ended after a month but other people knew how to fix it. The Voyager Lego set he got from Sam the year before still made him smile when his eyes landed on it.
Tucker noted it down. “What else? Christmas tree?”
Danny winced but nodded. He wasn't too fond of it but it was too big to miss it.
“Ugly sweaters?”
“Superboy would actually develop laser vision if I tried it”
“Movie marathon? I can lend you some DvDs”
“Yeah, it's probably a good idea. Kid Flash mentioned it too.”
“Santa Claus?” Sam asked with a smirk and Danny threw a pillow at her.
“Who is Santa Claus? I never heard of him, must be a Rhode Island thing” he answered with a straight face, not knowing how many times he will have to repeat it.
**
Phantom: hey guys!
Phantom: want a Crisscross Christmas
Phantom: ?
Artemis: The what?
Phantom: oh, you know
Phantom: this thing were we draw aech othres names anf have to buy a gift
Kid Flash: you mena Secret Santa
Kid Flash: ???
Phantom: never heard of that
Phantom: thats a wierd naem
Phantom: but if rules match, call it whatever yoyu wnat
Aqualad: I like this idea
Robin: GIft drop-off on 27th is okay for everyone?
7 people liked this message
Robin: i take that for yes. 50$ budget?
Kid Flash: Robin, Rob, Bob, my best pal. I have 5$ and single slice of bubblegum to my name rn
Kid Flash: No, actually no bubblegum anymore
Kid Flash: 10$ is top I could spend
Phantom: Same
Artemis: Same
Aqualad: Me too
Miss Martian: I'm not sure if me and Superboy have any money, actually
Phantom: See Rob?
Phantom: just be a good samamritanina and give them 10$ instead og flaunting batmans money
***
"Important question. How do one pick a present?"
"You know, it's good if it's something personal, either in a way that it's something they want or need, a gag gift that'd be funny for both of you, or just something that made you think of them"
"Yeah, yeah, I read the mom blogs, none of this actually helps, what am I supposed to get for Artemis?!"
***
"Alright, so. I have a list of things I think you need to learn about Christmas. We're kinda late to the party, so I cut off some stuff because there is no way we would make it in time."
"Sounds about right, what do we start with?"
"Most classic of classics, the Christmas tree, Batman already greenlit it, so it's waiting outside"
***
"So, Christmas tree is evergreen plant, conifer, sometimes only branch or synthetically made model, that, if living, is cut down from Christmas tree nursery, and then put inside the house, usually in the living room or other space that is considered repre-"
"Danny, we live in society, we have basic knowledge on American traditions that is literally everywhere. We don't need it to be spoon fed to us in a voice more robotic way than Red Tornado, literal robot"
"Conner!"
"What?! I'm not wrong"
"Sorry. Let's get to decorating then?"
"If you want to ramble, we'd be more than happy to listen. It's obvious that you took a lot of care to learn everything."
"Speak for yourself"
"Conner!"
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, with what exactly do we plan to decorate it?"
"Oh, this one is easy. I asked around people to donate some stuff, and Batman got us few things after I asked for permission for the tree. He even asked Justice League to drop us some things too."
"That's nice of them"
"Yeah, though I'm a bit worried about gifts from Arrows and Robin, y'know. They all had this type of smile that means either a gag idea, merch or exploding glitter and I'm not sure which option scares me the most"
"Glitter"
"Glitter"
"Yeah, you're right"
***
"Did… um… did Superman bring anything?"
"Yes, actually! He brought pretty big box of stuff and mentioned dropping of some food for Christmas in the morning or the afternoon of the first day. He said he was happy that you got the experience even if he isn't able to be the one to give it to you. I think he is coming around"
It was an interesting thing about Danny. He wasn't all that good with authority figures or frankly adults in general, and he never passed on the chance to tear in Superman for his treatment of Conner, if he saw the man, but in private he was surprisingly pro-Superman and tried to make them "see his perspective" with some pretty convincing arguments. Everyone else was still unimpressed but Danny never gave up.
M'gann still wasn't sure if in these circumstances she found it cute or annoying.
"Bullshit"
"If that's what you want to believe in"
***
"Oh, hello Megan! Red Tornado, would you like to join us in decorating the Christmas tree?"
"This… seems like a decent idea. What is the procedure of it?"
"We already put on the lights, so now we're placing baubles and other hanging decorations, before we finish off with paper chains and these fuzzy boas. We need them evenly spread out on all of the tree, preferably in a way, that things in similar colors aren't right next to each other, alright?"
"Yes, Phantom, instructions are clear"
"Great. Do we want some music in the background? My friends usually play some Christmas songs to get us all in 'the right mood' as he calls it?"
"Good idea, I'll play something."
"Thanks Meg"
"Just hear the sleigh bell jingling…"
"Is this… yeah, it's Carpenters, it's Jazz's favo- oh shit"
"Got it!"
"Nice catch Conner! Red Tornado, sorry I didn't clarify before, we're not decorating the side by the wall."
"Understood"
***
"We have only one last thing left then"
"Yeah?"
"The star at the top. The youngest child of the family usually get the honor. Conner, it's you time to shine~"
"Shut up already"
"How is he supposed to reach the top though? He can't fly"
"Step stool or someone has to hold him up lion king style"
"Lion king- Don't you dare! Keep those hands to yourself! Danny!
***
"So, what's next on your magical list?"
"Gingerbread house. It's a moment for you to shine Meg, because I'm absolute mess in the kitchen and I don't think Conner is much better"
"Actually-"
"blah, blah, blah, absolutely perfect, could be hired at Michelin star restaurant right this instant blah, blah, blah"
"Oh, you little-"
"I believe the arguments are supposed to start at the Christmas table and not before. It seemed to be consensus in my sources. Was I mistaken?"
Conner stopped dead in his tracks, as confused as M'gann at the question.
Danny laughed so hard he fell on the ground.
"Red Tornado, what does that mean?"
"There is no need to spread misinformation until we can get confirmation whether my sources were correct or not"
"Danny? Danny?! What does he mean?! Why are you laughing?!"
Danny just stayed curled on the floor, almost wheezing.
***
"So, we have all of the ingredients, right? Flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves-"
"I think it's still in the cabinet, let me grab it real quick"
"Alright, other than cloves, do we have salt, vegetable shortening, granulated sugar, molasses, an egg- I mean, applesauce? Yeah? Let's hope it'll work. Okay, I think were ready"
"Ginger?"
"What?"
"Do we have ginger ready?"
"I don't think so, I'm pretty sure we've run out about a week ago? Why- oh wait"
"Did we seriously forgot to get ginger to make The Gingerbread House?! It's literally in the name!"
They all just stood in silence for a long moment.
"We're idiots"
"Well said, well said"
"I believe there are better names to describe you in this situation. Unfortunately, I cannot recall them"
"Thanks Red Tornado, that was helpful"
"Maybe we can still buy it?"
"It's 10:34 PM, December 23rd, M'gann, what shop would even be open?"
"Shut up Conner, it's actually not a bad idea. I think I've seen- yes, there is something open until eleven, about five minutes out if I fly"
***
"There was no ginger at the shop, but I got cranberry for later, if needed, and some chips to snack on"
"It's fine, we found unopened pack of powdered ginger in the back of the cabinet"
"That's great! Give me a minute to return this packet I liberated on my way home?"
"Danny!"
***
"Hey, M'gann!"
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to invite your uncle to our dinner?"
"That's a great idea Conner, thank you!"
***
"Okay, wait, wait, wait, before you two get weirdly aggressive about it again-"
"We're not that aggressive and it's a serious matter"
"I don't have any ghosts to get of my misplaced aggression out on so I'm funneling it into cake decorating instead"
"M'gann, you literally are trying to choke him right now, Danny, even I know it's concerning and I have less than half a year of learning what is considered normal under my belt. Anyway, before you escalate it again, how about each one of us gets one side of the house and then we work in pairs on the roof?"
"I like that"
"But what about aesthetic integrity!"
"It's quite literally against the point of gingerbread house"
***
"Before we go to sleep, I believe it's a widespread tradition to leave milk and cookies for the Santa Claus on the Christmas Eve evening"
"Huh"
"What is it this time?"
"Nothing really, chill out Conner, I just never heard of that"
It was so clearly a lie it probably couldn't even be called that, but at this point everyone realized, that for some reason bearded man in red was a sore subject, and they stopped trying to learn why. Maybe some day he'd tell them.
***
"Sorry. This person is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone."
"Hey Dani, it's Danny. Merry Christmas, please let me know when you get that. I'm celebrating outside of home, safe, with some friends, so if you want, I can give you an address and you can drop by. They're all more than okay with ghost stuff and have a history of accepting someone similar to you without any questions. I'm sure they'd love you. Let me know you're alright and if you want to join us. Sorry I keep calling, I'm at the worrywart stage. Love you, please stay safe."
Danny was doing pretty well with this whole "organizing Christmas". Really. M'gann did kick him out to breathe a bit of fresh air (and wait for the Superman and food he was supposed to bring in) because his hands were shaking too much, but other than that he was fine. Really. He was getting a bit panicky because he didn't hear a word from his sister in the past week and usually she let them know if she knew she would go somewhere where that could happen but she just as often didn't because she spontaneously decided to do something else. Trackers they made her wear showed she was fine.
It didn't really help, he wasn't sure if there was anything less than actually hearing or preferably seeing her that could reassure him.
It wasn't even talking about all of the trouble that was a bit closer to home, because Christmas never meant anything good for him, with or without his parents stirring up the Santa-fight. They weren't there and yet, he still couldn't make himself believe it could be any better this time. For Ancients sake, he made sure there was no Santa Claus in whole Mountain, nothing to remind him of how it always was and his brain still decided to be stupid about it.
So now he was standing in thin hoodie out in Rhode Island winter, in hopes that cold would shock him out of spiraling, trying to keep his breaths even and not fly away because it felt all like a little too much at the moment. he was standing in thin hoodie out in Rhode Island winter, waiting for a man who would awkwardly try to do the whole 'I'm an adult you can trust' routine and then treat him like messenger pigeon to contact the child that actually wanted and needed him. He couldn't entirely blame him but-
"Are you quite alright?"
"I'm fine"
"Are you sure? It's quite cold to be dressed like this and your heartbeat is quite erratic."
"I'm fine as old wine Superman, please say your piece before someone comes to see what took me so long"
"Danny-"
"I'm serious. Leave it alone and just give me the food"
Superman looked a bit conflicted, clearly considering all of the potential pros and cons of digging in further and choose wrong.
"You're worried about Dani"
"You're the last person I want to talk to about her," Danny spat out, anxiety quickly turning into anger.
"Of course, but-"
"Have two civil conversations with your clone before trying to tell me how I should handle mine" As soon as these words left his mouth, Danny regretted them, if only a little, but he kept pushing "I told you about her to explain why I'm willing to vouch for you. It doesn't make you someone I'll confide in. It doesn't make you someone I trust. It doesn't make me approve of the way your handling it. It just means I understand. But you're an adult man and experienced hero with stable job and adult shit figured out and I'm a teenager with home just safe enough for me to stay and family that'd question how third child just showed up. We are not the same."
Superman flinched away at some point during the rant, looking properly humbled. He avoided eye contact and just reached forward to pass him hard plastic case filled with food containers and smaller boxes wrapped up in nice Christmas themed paper.
"Alright kiddo. Get it inside before you turn into a icicle. And tell Conner I wish him Merry Christmas, alright? I mean, I wish it to everyone but…"
Damn, if the "never meet your heroes" person wasn't right.
"You're a coward Superman. Come in and tell him that yourself"
***
Conner lashed out, as expected, but it was far more subdued than it would be just few month before. To his credit, Superman stayed the whole time it went down and only left when boy mostly calmed down and wouldn't feel like he was being ignored. Man even tried to respond to some allegations, though he wasn't really heard. Conner ranted some more after hero left, but overall it went better than Danny thought it would.
Then they had dinner, which went… surprisingly well. Apparently, not having to worry about being attacked by the main dish did wonders to Danny's overall jitters (and didn't everyone get super weird when he mentioned it). Not having people start nonsensical fights also helped. He knew better than to mention that.
Also, turns out that Superman or whoever he got to make them food was freaking amazing cook, thank you very much. Danny wasn't necessarily fasting, not in a way he knew some people did in the period preceding Christmas or at least on Christmas Eve, but the tension of past few days made it hard to eat a lot. It definitely lessened now that the thing was happening and seemingly going well, so he was absolutely ravenous. To be completely honest, as far as he could tell, everyone else matched his enthusiasm.
There was a bit off moment at the beginning, when Martian Manhunter asked him if he shouldn't be with his family during holidays, but Danny quickly and subtly brushed it off and nobody mentioned that afterwards.
He may have overeaten, actually, for once in his live, which he may regret in the morning, but at the moment, it made him quite content.
Then came the gifts, which also went better than he expected. For once there was no need to act like he enjoyed the gift despite already planning on how to get rid of it. Even better, focus was almost fully removed from him, obviously, because it wasn't his first rodeo.
Conner looked so lost and confused with the gift he got from Superman's mom, it was almost heartbreaking. It was beautiful crocheted scarf, black and red, with his symbol on each end, and an apology note explaining that Mrs Martha Kent would give him something more note worthy but she learned about him way to late to make something better. There was also promise of more worthy gift in near future. Danny knew all that because Conner read it out loud, asking everyone to help him make sense of that. There was only so much they could do.
Other than that, he got some nice flannel shirts from M'gann, quite a few sweets. He also got a book from Danny (it was a sin he didn't read "The Martian" before) and concepts of new hero suits for him, that Sam somehow sneaked between the pages. It was certainly a lot to explain without making anyone angry.
M'gann got two different cook books, that unfortunately didn't include Fenton fudge recipe (Dad was really protective over it), some surprisingly obscure merch from "Hello Megan" and more sweets.
Red Tornado got an apron and few tokens of appreciation, that robot quite liked, as far as Danny could tell.
Martian Manhuter, due to how rarely he visited, was the hardest to pick presents for, which resulted in some general little trinkets.
Danny got night sky projector, which was really cool, and potted plant, for some reason, which, while also cool, because plants are cool (Sam would rekill him if he thought otherwise), he knew far too well, would not survive until July. It wasn't only because he could barely take care of himself, let alone whole ass plant (see also, that one time he either drowned or dried three cacti), but also because of the times ghosts (or home security) attacked him in his room. He was thankful anyway. Maybe it could push him into finally getting some contingencies against that, that’d actually work. After all, it was quite a pretty plant.
By the time they moved to the couch to watch “Die Hard” of all things (it was only DVD that Tucker provided that didn’t have Santa Claus as a prominent character, because of course that little traitor would do that), Danny had to admit that this Christmas was… nice. Enjoyable. Pretty amazing actually. Good enough that he could understand people waiting for it the whole year. He couldn’t tell that he joined their ranks, but he certainly could understand them.
It was also downright exhausting and at some point even dynamic fights of John McClane couldn’t keep his eyes open. It was fine though. He was safe, he was warm, almost squeezed against his friends. It was good place to just relax.
It’s been first time in a long time since he felt that on Christmas.
********
I'm not sure if I managed to properly Conner's... whole thing, if he turned out too hostile, let's just say he was still pissed about the whole "wasn't invited to Clark's family gathering" thing and it made him a bit more antsy.
I'm not sure how well I managed to handle it, but I don't want to bash neither Clark nor Conner. They're both victims in this situation and while the way Clark handled it was far from ideal, it's also far from worst he could do and I believe he deserves a bit more grace. In the end, on psychological level he is just human and humans don't always handle being baby trapped perfectly. Maybe I have more understanding towards him because my prefered way of handling conflicts is walking out and locking myself in my room, but idk. Maybe I'm capable of more coherent explanation when it's not 3:44 AM
Ginger shenanigans were inspired by my own Christmas preparation adventures, when I was making bread dough for the Christmas Eve and decided to add rosemary to make it more ✨festive✨ and got really attached to the idea. My mom agreed, then it turned out we didn't have any, then I went to the shop like twenty minutes before it closed at 11PM so at least one guy was there to replenish his alcohol suplies. My mom called to tell me to also buy some powdered garlic and beetroot. Turned out we had rosemary at home. At shop I only found garlic. I also brought energy drink, because I was tired but had more stuff to do and some snacks just because.
Bread turned out pretty good.
I sincerely believe if I was solely responsible of making gingerbread, I would forget to get ginger (or like, to fit with "it's in the name" thing, pepper, because in Polish it's "piernik")
I'm really sorry if the drop in quality by the end is noticable, if this thing stayed unfinished whole another year i'd do something I'd regret later.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#by the way Dani is fine#she is in Atlantis after she helped beached whale back into the ocean#her phone is water proof but was not made to get reception at the ocean floor#but two days after Christmas Danny will get message from Kaldur's phone that'll read#Dani here; I'm fine got invited to sea kingdom and-#-it's amazing bye#to be honest it was quite curious thing to have#mostly because despite both Poland and US being part of the Western culture there are quite a few differences#and I can do all the research I want (I suck at in-depth research)#there is no way in hell I'll understand it#especially considering my family is practicing Catholic and Poland historically is Catholic so our traditions are heavily affected#anyway feel free to yell at me if I fucked up representing American Christmas spirit and the way it would look in a friend group#and feel free to ask if you're curious about Polish traditions if you want#sorry for not including team gift exchange#I have no energy to think about what they could get for each other#feel free to write it yourself if you want to#I'd love to read it#christmas#christmas fic#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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hat kid
🌠 ⌛ 🕯 / ☂ x 🔮 / 🕯 ⌛ 🌠
#stimboard#stimblr#stim#i really need to replay this game..... i love love love this game and i love hat kid and i love mustache girl and conductor and empress#a friend gifted it to me around christmas time and we havent talked since the pandemic i think#i want to shoot them a message for fun i wont lieeee i have them still friended on steam#ahit#a hat in time#hat kid#yellow#purple#night#sky#umbrella#hourglass#sand#blanket#stars#candle#fire#flame#honeycomb#cozy#sleepycore#dreamcore
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my friend asked me to run an errand with her tomorrow I'm so happy about it 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
#and we are going to my friend's birthday party on friday I got her some really good gifts. I'm excited.#AND I told my bestie I got him a christmas gift and it's okay if he didn't get me anything but I just wanna know when I can bring it to him#and he said THAT'S TOO KIND OF YOU. to which my thought was. pfft. shut up. how is it too kind you're my bestie#and then read his next message 'I was also thinking of getting you something so let's set a date to exchange gifts'#and thought SHUT UPPPPP NO WAY THAT IS TOO NICE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. FOR ME?#stoic duck with cigarette gif. really funny how we had the exact same reaction
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i really don't care about christmas and i feel bad about that
#because like#people traditionally seem to use christmas as the time where you remember all your friends#and write some nice words and wish them a good time#and it's wonderful and all#but then here's me totally torn between#feeling like a hypocrit for joining in even though i keep saying i don't want to have anything to do with religion any more#or feeling like an asshole for saying nothing on principle#i think maybe i should start my own tradition of writing nice messages at a different time of year
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New Song ?!
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Counting down the days yesterday at Waves Festival
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I really hope he’s doing fine 🫶🏽🫶🏽
But also:
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instagram
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See ya when I see ya
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Forever a troubled son
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Bunch of videos
Some professional pics:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DCg5F68opdG/?igsh=MThqZ3RvM25pNnc4OA==
instagram
#17/11/2024#miles kane#his connections are just mad impressive like he literally knows and is friends with everyone#like the message is made to be funny with the emojis but the essence is fucking sad#Instagram#the neckerchief has made a comeback 🥳#really wanna know his reaction to finding that trackie jacket in the store I imagine child on Christmas even jumping levels
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whos jess what’s the snap lore
jess has been my bestie since my dragon ball postin days, about five years now :]
#snap chats#she'd generally follow my new blogs and pop up in my inbox every now and then but i also make a new one every three seconds so jaLVJAKVJ#we have different interests now too but we're still friends off of tumblr !!#im actually putting together a christmas parcel for her ... we try to do so for each other every year#its a fun thing :] i always feel like i suck at them tho since im bad at getting people gifts#but i still try !!! im sure she still gets the message that Shes My Bestie And I Hope She Knows That Forever 😌#i just really like writing the card ... the gifts are a bonus ...#plus i do just like givin gifts .... i like gettin stuff for people when i can ..
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farewell, my idiot son…
#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hey friends so uh. apparently the "decorate my tree" site is possibly a fraud/scam thing? not confirmed but I'm definitely not going to risk it.
If y'all left me messages and still want me to see them, please send them to me as an ask or private message since I will not be opening any emails or the "deco my tree" site itself
(tagging the people who left me messages so they see this: @can-of-pringles @nebulousfishgills @hawthorne-spengler-stantz @vexic929 @negative-speedforce @sashathedoge @thegentlemanstar @lighttupthiswholetown and @simplysummers I think?)
#this isn't an ego thing i promise. i just want to be safe#and i don't want to feel bad when christmas comes and i'm just dead silent about all your nice messages since i didn't see them#my friends!!!#and i'd advise you to be careful yourselves. i'm happy to send you a holiday message in an ask if you want to avoid the site too
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Was yapping to a friend about something I was really obsessed with as a kid and am still really passionate about when he fell asleep mid rant
He woke up 5 minutes later when I was writing this and how sad I was
He listened a bit more to me yapping because I was excited to get back into it
And them he fell asleep again mid another rant about the same thing but I kept yapping because there was one other person in the call
But then that other person had to gi do the dishes and now I'm happier than I was at first because yay someone actually wanted to listen (... even if one fell asleep. The other one didn't have any complaints, though, and I am happy about it :D) but also I didn't get to finish my yapping session :(
#myeba shenanigans#myeba rambles#i was yapping about star stable online and starshine legacy#i wanted to talk about the development team change and how we had to wait YEARS for new main story quests and saving Anne but i started#explaining the entire backstory and starshine legacy and everything and how pissed i am at some one the choices#like deleting old christmas and halloween as well as some of the best story quests in that damn game.#i got to like#the golden autumn area i dont remember what its called in english and Pi but yeah no i forgot quite a bit of the story because i havent#but yeah no i dont remember a lot of things actually because i havent played this game religiously for like 5 years now lmao#the last quests ive done were the Fort Maria and the devils thing at Jarlaheim or whatever i dont remember names rn#especially not in english#ive always played the game in polish lmfao#but yeah no i still love that game even if a lot of things have changed#i come back every so often because of nostalgia#just to see what new things were added and stuff#i remember that the first time i was allowed to stay awake past midnight for new years with my cousin we were playing star stanle and we got#the its getting dark message and we got spooked a bit but it was new and exciting and whenever i join right before night and see that#i just have that memory pop up at the front of my head#that game has been with me for a goid bit of my life and i have many fond memories with people i still recognize in my friends list that i#havent spoken to in years and yet theres so many fond memories of just children being children and i love that#anyway i started ranting in the tags#GOODBYE BEFORE I SAY ANYTHIN MORE LMAO
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the fact i won't be able to wish happy new year to most people bc they stole my phone on the fucking evening of the 30th of december and today every place where i could go to replace my sim card is closed and tomorrow they will be too lmfao free from the new year's wishes burden i guess
#i do hope no one gets worried i mean maybe my coworkers might#probably not but idk i think if i wrote my coworkers i'm closest to and the message didn't even get marked as received i'd be a bit worried#well maybe no one will even notice#now i'm thinking about the fact yday my new russian friend told me most places don't close on holidays or like on certain days of the week#in russia and now that she lives in italy she's so confused about places being closed on sunday or on christmas or during lunch#she said there's many supermarkets who are open 7/7 24/24 ?????#me and my dutch friend were like don't people who own shops or work in supermarkets or malls or stores or whatever like... rest??#nico rambles
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Awwww, thank you very much peonie. I wush you the same. Happy Holidays. Hopefully next year will bring you joy & comfort. And yes, I'd really love to interact with you more again. That would be great. Let's hope I have more free time to do that and be a little more active here.
Hii 🌸
Of course I loved to, the Christmas tree is a really great idea I have to say 😍
Thank you wishing you and everyone else the same. More joy and less negativity 😅
Yeah I agree. These last few months were super busy for me hopefully I’ll be able to catch a breath next year and definitely let’s catch up I’d love that 🌸🌸
Wishing you a great day ahead 🩷🌸
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oh this girl does not gaf about meeeeeee
#our conversations have been so. Not Good.#like i'm trying to make conversation so much and i'm getting nothing#she's giving dating app boy#so much for going to each other's weddings and whatever#talking about my friend btw lsdkjfksf#and i didnt get a merry christmas message either so. whatever#lisa.txt#will delete later
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shoutout to @littleroomba for giving me the idea of watching gamingmas 2023. I’m so tired and I’ll probably only stay awake for another 2 hours max but any gamingmas videos are better than none!
#again merry Christmas friend and I’m so glad you messaged me#I really hope you had a great day if you celebrate and if not then just a great day in general 💞#h
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What's wrong?
I have horrific executive dysfunction and live in squalor all the time. I still have a dish in my sink that has been there since October 2023.
I can't do the things I want to do nor need to do and when I have things I need to do, like taxes, I end up hitting my head repeatedly and crying out of stress. I need to get a new job because I'm so burnt out with my current one which was only ever supposed to be temporary anyway, but I can't do the simple work of fixing my resume because it feels like there is an invisible wall in front of my brain and it's sharp and it hurts and I can't chose when I can walk through it, so I just keep stabbing myself.
I need to look into rehoming my pet rats because I can't clean their cage as often as I would like, as often as they need it, because they need it they need it they deserve better, but even writing the post is like a mountain. I was supposed to be better to them. I was supposed to be better to myself by being better to them.
I have no money, so I'm constantly stressed.
My body hurts, my brain hurts, something is chronically wrong with me. I hope it's something bad because I would like a way to die that doesn't feel overwhelmingly hateful to my loved ones.
I just play video games in bed because I don't have the energy for anything else and the fiction allows me to ignore the world. I have no plans for the future because I constantly plan for the fact I want to be dead soon.
I don't need help on wanting to die. I've wanted to die since I was 14. I'm almost 29. That's nearly every single fucking day for half my life. I'm used to it. It's a comfort. It's my emotional support and it helps me. And I have accepted it. Because I've tried to work on it in so many ways over the years through therapy and medicine and changing my lifestyle, and it's still here. It's just me.
BUT I need help in making life less full of despair, so when I choose to keep living to not hurt the people around me, it doesn't feel like I'm sacrificing myself. So it doesn't feel like I'm ripping myself apart. That I'm not making myself suffer and suffer and be so full of torment and pain. I need help with living.
I planned on killing myself in a few days and it's been the plan for two fucking years. It led up to this. But everyone around me is either making future plans with me, reminding me repeatedly that I have a place in their lives and a history with them, or having terrible times for themselves and I don't want to hurt them more on top of it. But I'm so tired. I'm so exhausted.
I want someone to sit next to me and help me set up a new attempt on getting diagnosed with ADHD to see if the medicine would help me do the fucking dishes regularly at least! Because my last attempt, the doctor belittled me repeatedly and just setting up that in the first place took all my energy and I can't do it again. I'm tired.
I want someone to pick up my rats and give them a better life than I could ever dream of giving them even though I did my best.
I want someone to help me write my resume without it making me feel like my brain is being torn to shreds, so that I can find a new job, so that getting a blood test bill won't put me off looking into any medical help in the future. I'm tired!
I want to figure out why I feel sick all the time and find out if there is a way to stop feeling sick all the time. Or to just have better management over it.
I want to have enough money to do things that keep giving me new experiences so maybe doing something scary and new will make me feel like I shouldn't die soon.
I can't change society or climate change or war or starvation or any of those things that make me want to die, but I could potentially change me. But I can't do it alone. I'm just tired.
I tell no one anything because if you tell people you want to die, they want to take away your freedom and latch you with more debt if they make you go to the hospital and I want control in my life. I want independence. This is my life, I should be able to choose how I live it.
I want to live in a world where I could tell people I want to die and they could accept it and then I could just die after a farewell party, but we don't live in that world. So I will keep living, but I want to stop suffering the whole time.
That's what's wrong.
#ramblings#i am going to regret this post very quickly but what the fuck ever#don't screw me over or i will never look anyone in the eye again and just delete all my social media#and play vns while crying in bed forever#... merry christmas#sorry this happened because i got a present in the mail and all my friends sending me messages and hearing my grandma sad on the phone#due to some things and all that sort of stuff#and i already feel ill from my migraine so i ended up sitting on the floor and crying a lot
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i’m bawling these christmas tree messages UUUDHG
#꒰ᥩ ྀི.ܸ .ܸ ꒱#i feel TEARS in my eyes#i was too scared to but#now i wish i got a little bit more sappier in my messages 🙁🥹#i feel so incredibly grateful to have so many amazing friends on here . . . even in the little time that i’ve had this blog#i love u all so dearly 💌 currently tackling u all n’ hugging u tight !!#happy christmas ノ christmas eve depending on when u celebrate <3#and if u don’t celebrate i hope u have a lovely new year 🎆💕
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