#christmas ff

[florart98]

A little explanation as to why Jackson has that little decoration in his office.

Firs prompt of the December Holiday challenge 🎉 - Decorating the office

[hyukascampfire]

GIFT WRAPPING ﹒ ､､ c.sb

it’s a shame that soobin has to work on christmas eve, but coming home to a fire-toasted home and his little family is enough to make up for it. ˒´-

꣑ ࣪˒ 〈 🌰 〉 ･ 3.4k

ρairings ˒ husband!soobin x reader

ɠ ; smut ˒ fluff

ωarnings ˒ breeding kink, soobin rlly wants to get reader pregnant, lactation kink, general smut, traditional roles, tradwife reader, whiny soobin, breast fondling, mentions of balls cause i know how some people feel abt that, they’re both whiny for each other, soobin’s big, and lmk if i missed anything!

✎୭ ashlynn's note this one’s at the request of my lovely @biteyoubiteme! i love you baby, and could not thank u more for giving me this gift. this was the best gift i could’ve gotten for christmas >.<‘ but yes, since we are always giggling over dad!txt, this one i dedicate to u!!!

﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist

The best thing you’ve heard today is the jingling of keys at the front door.  

Soobin comes through the door with heavy, tired eyes. When the kids come tumbling down the hallway for him, they soften into something warm. Lifting one to pepper kisses over her face, and listening to the other tattle about something that’d happened earlier, his mouth tugs into a gentle smile. 

Dusting powdered sugar off your hands, you wait your turn. The scene falls over you like a dryer-warmed blanket. All you three had done today was wait for him to come home. When finally it’s you that he turns to, your heart flickers. 

The Christmas tree is up and in a stand, but it’s bare. You didn’t want to decorate it without him, as much as he told you he wouldn’t mind if you and the kids did. It’s not every Christmas eve that he works, but he’d been scheduled this year. You’d spent the whole day rolling out dough and slipping the kids some, even though you knew the sugar would wind them up, just to make the house feel less empty. 

And, wind them up it did. You took them outside, bundled up in thick cashmeres and puffy jackets, at one point, hoping they might work some of it out in the fluffy snow that’d fallen fresh on yesterday. It hadn’t worked, but watching them with pink cheeks and giggling was worth the while. Then, the three of you drug snow-wetted feet indoors to defrost, tugging off layers to accept the tingle of warm air against your numb skin. 

You wish he was there, too, though. 

Soobin reaches up to pull his tie loose from his neck as he comes to give you your greetings. He just manages to get it loose before taking your lips against his. 

With his hands steadying you by the hips and the counter at your back, you sigh out a soft breath. Your lips speak of your longing—the both of you. Slow and intimate tugging of lips and soothing, your lashes dust against your cheeks. He tastes like some peppermint candy he’d probably picked up on the way out of the office. Fingers still a bit cold from outside, he brings one hand up and cups your cheek, brushing a thumb up and down the flushed skin there.  

He smiles against your mouth and parts from you only to sprinkle sugary kisses over your face. They fall everywhere: a few over your cheeks, one just beside your mouth, and the last to your forehead. He cups your cheeks through each. When he pulls back and you think he’s done, he steals a quick peck for good measure. His hot-chocolate eyes catch yours once he’s done for real, nose crinkling. 

“Hi, baby,” he says. Your heart sings listening to his smooth timbre. It resonates through you and brushes down every last frayed nerve. “How did home treat you?” 

You reach behind yourself to tug your apron off. It’s a mess of flour and stray buttercream icing. “It’s Christmas eve,” you tell him. That’s answer enough. “How was work? Did you have a good day?” you say, smoothing your hands over the knitted sweater you’d swiped from his drawer. “We missed you.” 

His chest is like home against your back as he wraps you up in his frame. “Doesn’t matter; I’m home now. It’s a good day.” He murmurs his words into your hair. “Mmm. You smell good. Are all these cookies for me?” 

“You know who they’re for,” you say. The smile on your mouth is light and fluffy, like whipped cream. Sweet. You’d waited all day for this—for him. 

His arms encompass you, wrapped across your front like ribbons over a present. You can hear the lazy smile in his words.  “Were you baking all day waiting for me, beautiful?” 

With the weight and warmth of him against you, you let your head fall back on his chest. You hum. “I missed you so bad,” you say. 

“I know,” he says. Pressing a toasty kiss right into your neck where it’s bared to him, he adds, “I missed you too. Wish I was able to spend the whole day with you guys, not paperwork. But, it’s okay. I had my pretty wife here waiting for me.” Toward the tail-end, he hangs sweet suggestion over his words. 

Your cheeks go pink. Maybe you’ve got the heater up too high. It’s not usually this hard waiting for him to get home from work. You’ll usually be busy with your own stuff, so that time passes you by fast enough. And then, he’ll come home all tired, and you’ll finally get the kids to sleep and he’ll make slow, sweet love to you, and then the whole household goes quiet as you all knock out. But today... you found yourself missing him more. On Christmas eve, you’re all supposed to be together; spending the day sprawled over the couch with intertwined limbs and running through Christmas classics with bellies full of hot chocolate and candy canes.  

But, he’s here now. That’s all you can ask for. A full, content home. 

“The kids want to do the tree,” you say, curling your fingers over the warm skin of his forearm where he’s bunched the cuffs of his button-up to his elbows. “They waited very patiently all day.” You drag the word all out, because really... it’d felt just as long to you. Usually, you’d have had your tree up and laced with twinkling lights and ornaments two weeks ago, but you really wanted to wait until you could do it all together. 

“Well,” he says, leaving you with one last nip to the column of your neck before dragging himself off you. You miss the security of his arms almost pathetically quick. “Let’s get it decorated, then. Wouldn’t want to make you guys wait any longer.” 

Soobin departs to find the tubs of Christmas stuff, and you go to pull the kids from their playing. 

You can hardly help the excited little smile that finds its way to your mouth as you do. 

❅

The lights on the tree wink at you, a cozy warm white like ice crystals among green pine needles. Its branches dip under the weight of heavier bulbs. Starry silver and Santa red, and even those assorted ornaments that you’d let the kids pick out, shimmer in the low light. It’s serene and familiar, like the Christmases that you can only relive through orange, flickering memories of better times. Your chest aches in the good way, looking at it. 

All of you had put your touch to it, but mostly, you’d sat back and watched them all work, committing it to memory so that it might never go spotty—so that you can remember it years down the road, and use it like a dose of soothing balm when you no longer have this.

Now, you and Soobin just sit and admire it. In true Christmas fashion, you two had to wrangle the kids to bed. You raised your brows at them and warned them with the same old things you’d heard on Christmas night: Santa doesn’t stop by the houses of kids who don’t sleep, and he especially doesn’t stop for kids that don’t listen to their parents. That got them, warm in their jammies, dragging their feet to bed. Reluctantly, yes. But it did the job, and now it’s just you two.  

Your stomach does an excited flip as, in between his mindless smoothing over your skin, Soobin toys with the waistband of your plaid pajamas. Lifting your head from his chest, you look up at him. 

“Baby,” he says, taking that hand up and under your shirt. Running the warm, calloused tips of his fingers up the plane of your belly and then just under your breast, he says, “I missed you...” 

Sweet and slow, a familiar hunger kindles between your thighs just at the way he says it. You know when your doting husband needs you. Your heart tugs toward him—you need him just the same. Surrounded by the home you’ve made together, made lovely by the scent of Christmas, and in his safe arms, all you want is him. 

You tug yourself up from him and the cushions, sliding yourself over his lap so that your two thighs part around his waist and your heat meets his bulge. He’s hardened there already, strained against the fabric and hard against your clothed cunt even through the layers. Sucking in a breath, he supports the small of your back with two sturdy arms. 

“Missed you too, Binnie,” you mumble into his neck. You’d said it a few times already, but you think it still isn’t enough to convey what you feel. His hands come down to cup your ass, digging divots into it and pressing you into soft grinds down onto him a few times. Your skin prickles wherever he goes. 

When his hands find their way back to the elastic band of your bottoms, you lift your hips and let him tug them off you. It’s an awkward position, and you have to lend him a little help with those and your panties with a snort. He presses his forehead into your shoulder, laughing too. 

At a brush of your bare cunt against his cock as he frees it, stood proud between the space of you and against your belly, your smile gives way to soft gasp. The tip of him weeps with pearly beads from the slit. He takes it into his hand taps it against your bud a few times, his free hand at your back, and relishes in the twitching of your hips above him.  

With the warmth of his cock lined up with you, he pushes some of your hair out of your face and says, “Hate having to wait all day to see my pretty girl...” His chocolate eyes dart up and down between the sight of you just about to join bodies and your face. 

Sinking down on him, letting yourself feel every inch of him anew, you hum agreement. You nestle him all the way down until the tip of him brushes just before the end of your depth, and then you give your hips a few rolls to let your insides adjust to his cock. Soobin’s big—no matter how many times you take him, it’s still a stretch. He doesn’t mind the wait; he sits patiently for you to adjust each time, running his hands up and down your hips just to touch you. 

You dig your knees into the cushions and lift yourself off his cock. You let him slip all the way up until the flared tip of him threatens to pop out, letting the moment linger there for a moment before dropping back down on him. His shoulders take the blunt of your weight as you fuck yourself up and down him. “I...wish you didn’t have to work that stupid job...” Your voice permeates the air, above the crackle of the fireplace and the soft smacks of your skin against his.  

His fingers dig into the soft curve of your waist where your shirt bunches. Each time you push yourself up, he helps, the corded muscles of his forearms twisting. It’s an intimate dance that the two of you have practiced and mastered, knowing when to give and to take without even the need for words. “I know,” he says, his voice taut. “But... I’m here now, baby. I’m here now. I’ll give you anything you want.” 

Your chest feels full at that. You know he means it; he works so hard for you all. The couch cushions are abrasive against your knees, and your thighs burn with a terrible ache, but all that matters in this moment is how he sucks his lips into his mouth and lets his head fall back into the cushion at his back. He rocks his hips up to try and meet you. Each time you bring yourself down on him in a way that has his brow twitching or eyes screwing shut, you aim to find it again—in all of it, you hope he feels you thanking him. 

Lifting his head, he tugs your shirt up to watch your tits bounce along with you. Taking his palm over one, he says, “Fuck—miss when these were all full of milk. All heavy for me...” His thumb rolls a pert nipple. Shuddering around a chill, your chest jumps against his hand.  

Rather than controlled drags up and down his cock, you devolve into frantic rutting hips and whines. Each roll—back, forth, and in messy circles—nudges his twitching cock right up against that weak spot. Flame rolls in your belly and your thighs.  

When you’d been pregnant, your tits had swollen up to produce milk, and they’d never gone back down. Maybe a bit, but never back to what they’d been before pregnancy. Soobin loved it. Not that he hadn’t been content with your breasts before, but you think it was more that he was fascinated that it was him who did that to you. That he had filled you with his cum, and got you round and pregnant. When you’d first started leaking, it wasn’t even you who’d realized. You had been stood in the kitchen with a flimsy grey shirt tugged over your body. When you looked up to see what your husband was up to, his eyes were all glazed over and heavy on your chest, where your shirt had gone dark and wet around your nipples. Before you could hurry off with reddened cheeks to change, he’d pinned you against the counter by the hips to suckle the mess up himself. 

“Baby,” he says, voice coming from his throat a hoarse plead, “Beautiful, please, can you give me something for Christmas? Just one thing?” 

Hair on your neck damp, you nod frantically. Around his waist, your thighs twitch with exertion and each blazing brush of his cockhead against your gummy walls. You’d give him anything; you’d already grown two children for him. 

“You—gonna let me put another in you? Can I please get you all pregnant again?” he grits out, his hair falling out from its styling and over his rose-dusted cheeks. He looks at you heavy-lidded.  

Your cunt squeezes him, an answer before you can even form the words. It does a number on you, the way he says it. Because really, you do think that to Soobin, the greatest gift you could give him is to carry his children and to just continue to love him. It’s no different for you; you want nothing more. “Yes, please... I’ll give you as many as...you want, please, just...” 

The entirety of your pleading is not even out of your mouth before he’s pressing a strong arm across your back and laying you under him. The cushions accept your back lovingly. 

Soobin takes a moment to situate you two. He drags you down by the hips, closer to him, tugs your shirt fully off to let it flutter to the floor elsewhere, tugging his own off in the same fashion, and he pushes your mess of hair out of your face so that he can better see you. And then, melding the bare, warmed skin of your soft chest to his own hard one, he rolls his cock up into you. 

It’s slow and tender, like promises of love baked into each grind. He makes love to you in the form of open-mouthed kisses and puffs of breath fanning out over your skin when a deeper thrust has both of you shaken-limbed. In your ears, hot, he whispers filthy nothings. 

“Gonna knock my pretty girl up again,” he pants. “Want—you to go around wearing me, big and round. My wife. You look so pretty pregnant... Fuck..” The skin of his chest brushes up against your hardened nipple each time he fucks himself up to you, his hands everywhere as he can’t find where he wants to hold you most. Eventually, he settles on linking his fingers with yours above your head with one hand, and the other splayed over your belly. Right where your belly might be swollen, were you pregnant once more. “Right here... can’t wait—h-oh, shit. Do you want that, baby? Want to give me another?” 

Chest and belly tight, you can only manage a squeak and a nod. Through bleary eyes, you take in his face. The soft and masculine angles of his cheeks and jaw, his sweet brown eyes, his pinched brows... and all you feel is safe. Safe in his arms, safe in his love. His body cages you against the cushion, slung over you and delivering languid strokes, but you don’t feel trapped. Not one bit. In his arms, you feel untouchable. Secure beyond a doubt. 

Nowhere else, with nobody else, would you rather build a family. 

“Soobin, please,” you whine, welcome tears prickling at the corners of your eyes like snowmelt. “Want it so bad... I want it so bad....” Wrapping your legs around his waist, digging your heels into his lower spine, you urge him deeper.  

“Okay,” he says. The smacking of your skin punctures the serene air as he picks up the pace. He lets his head fall into your shoulder, stunted breaths falling out as his belly tenses. “Okay, love. Gonna fuck you full of my cum, n’ keep it in there so I know it takes... shit, gonna give you my cum now, okay?” 

Face screwed up, you try and roll yourself to meet him, to chase the tightness in your own belly, but he’s got you. With a few more hot stripes of his tongue over your tits and over your neck, and a few frantic nudges right into that spot he’s so familiar with, you go still and then break into full-body shakes. You press your mouth into his shoulder to obscure the sharp, sweet cry that comes rushing out along with your orgasm, worried about waking your sleeping kids. Your thighs twitch and shudder around him, some deep and innate part of your brain taking over through the fog to make sure he cums well and right into you. Fingers and toes curling and splaying through it, you allow yourself to fully feel the sweetness his cock gifts you with.  

You don’t doubt that he’ll get you pregnant, cumming in you. Soobin’s seed is heavy and potent. He could knock you up whenever he pleased; the last two times he’d done it, you were surprised how easily it took. Your insides twist up around him harder. 

“Fuck,” he half growls, half whines. “Fuck, fuck... Love you, baby... Love you so much...” 

He holds you to the couch, fucking you into it as his heavy balls smack against your bottom. And then, spewing murmured expletives and taking your face into a big hand of his to press frantic kisses to your cheek, his hips stutter. 

As promised, he spills his cum right into you, right where he knows it’ll reach your womb and give you just what you want. It’s hot and thick against your gummy walls. He holds you through it, taking your hips in kneading hands to hold you still. When you think he’s done rolling his hips up into you to shoot more ribbons, he grinds harder.  

Soobin slumps over you, finally stilling. He does not pull out, nor unplug you, though. He wants to make sure his cum stays right where he wants it. His heart thunders a lovely song against your chest, and yours his. He runs long fingers through your hair mindlessly, the both of you basking in the slow fire as it burns through your veins and leaves you lazy. 

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he mumbles. 

Heart fuller, you hold him closer. “We have so much wrapping to do...” you mumble, trying to blink away your content sleepiness.  

He pushes himself off you just to say, “Don’t remind me.” His weight cradles you once more, running appreciative fingertips over your thighs as he says, “Just a little more.” 

Who are you to deny him that? You cherish the lines of his face, all soft in the yellowish glow of the tree’s light. Here, in his arms, you let yourself forget about that and anything else but the simple love buzzing in the air. 

“Just a little more,” you agree.  

﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist

✎୭ ashlynn's note ZOOWEE MAMA!! soobin come over here, let’s recreate this for christmas! pls!

﹙📋﹚ @hmusunoo , @izzyy-stuff , @beomiracles , @joycelyjjj , @sunoolver , @lvrs-street2mmorrow , @apeachty , @fandomtrashsblog , @bewitchless , @yezzns2 , @hhoneyhan , @ethystclove , @darkdayelixer , @calumcxke , @biteyoubiteme , @bamgeutsz , @soobabby , @little-shiny-starr , @bambammtori , @bunniebun-posted , @heeambi , @bunnisoobin , @hwanghyunjinismybae , @bakugosbottombitch , if your tag isn't working, check the mentions part of your settings!

[strawberriesoup]

24 to 25٠࣪⭑

── .✦ A snowstorm forces you to take refuge with Jisung on christmas eve

word count: 6.6k

genre: fluff with a little angst, jisung x female reader, mutual pining, comfort, acquaintances to lovers

warnings: cursing, feelings, reader is down horrendously bad for jisung, kisses, jisung is a sweetheart

a/n: this has been in the works for a while (i’m bad at writing stuff fast) SO IM SUPER HAPPY THAT I WAS ABLE TO GET IT OUT FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON

any/all feedback is highly appreciated!!

taglist: @jisunggy @holly-here @hannamoon143 @fly-you-dam-fools

if you would like to be added to my general taglist, send me a comment or an ask! <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The holiday season is a time for joy, a time to share laughter and meals, a time to wear fuzzy socks and fall asleep watching bad Christmas movies. Well, that’s what it’s supposed to be anyways. It’s a little hard to get into the Christmas cheer when each snowflake swirling outside your windshield is somehow concerningly larger than the last.

Wind whistles past your car as you squint your eyes, trying — and failing— to get any sort of visibility through the rapidly thickening blanket of snow and darkness. The gas light flashes on with a ping. Damn it. Continuing on whilst the best you can make out of your surroundings is a screen of nothingness and the occasional telephone pole doesn’t seem like the best course of action right now.

Eventually, you manage to pull into a small gas station about five minutes away by reluctantly putting your life into the hands of Google Maps.

Blowing warmth onto your hands, white-knuckled from your death grip on the steering wheel, you yank your phone out of the cupholder. Stranded in some dingy parking lot a good forty-five minutes away from your apartment is definitely where you needed to be on Christmas Eve, thanks so much universe. And your feet are cold.

You had really wanted to surprise them. The last time you’d seen your family was back in March, well over half a year ago. You thought Christmas as the perfect opportunity to visit. Just imagining the look on their faces alone was more than enough to spur your enthusiasm. But, then again, you hear the worries in the back of your mind. You hadn’t visited in so long, rarely even sending a text their way. And coming over with zero warning? They might not be as happy as you hoped.

No, of course they would be happy to see you, right? Right. Either way, there’s no way you’re going anywhere tonight.

Warm air from the AC fans across your face as you slump back in your chair, unfastening the top clasp of your coat that suddenly seems to be suffocating you. What do you even do in this situation? Call someone?

Scrolling through your contacts, your eyes alight on a familiar name.

Han Jisung

You face lights up with hope. Didn’t he say something about living around here? You open his contact, immediately faced with the looming call button in the top right corner of the screen.

Jisung is somewhat of an aquaintance of yours. Calling him a friend might be too bold. Being partners on a group project doesn’t automatically equal friendship, but you two had gotten along quite well. At least, you thought so. Maybe that was wishful thinking coming from your fat crush on him and his gorgeous smile, but still.

What are you doing? You hardly know this guy, and you’re going to call him on Christmas Eve night so he can, what, pick you up? You have to admit, the thought sets off little warning bells in your head. But what other options do you have?

Finger hovering over the button, you hesitate for a moment longer before pressing call.

The line rings once, twice. What if he doesn’t answer? He’s probably busy, it is Christmas eve after all. Did he ever mention leaving town for the holidays?

You’re so busy trying to recall previous conversations with him that you almost don’t notice the line picking up before the third ring. Shit, that was faster than you were expecting. Jisung’s voice greets you through the speaker.

“Heyy, what’s up?”

At the sound of his voice, your heart does a little leap in your chest. You take a deep breath before answering.

“Hi Jisung. I, uh, have a bit of a favor to ask.”

⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆

You were right about him living close, because less than fifteen minutes later the bright flash of headlights announces Jisung’s arrival. You know that looking nice should be the least of your priorities right now, but that doesn’t stop you from flipping open the sunvisor and briefly inspecting your appearance.

Jisung’s car door thuds shut as you hop out of your own car, met with a brisk rush of air that fills your lungs, chilling you from the inside out. He wasn’t far, but with the heavy snow you can just make out his form from across the lot. You’re quick to hustle towards his dark sillouette, eager to get out of the cold as soon as possible.

Meeting in the middle sooner than you had expected, both you and Jisung halt in tandem, breaths coming in puffs of condensation. The zipper of his puffer jacket is half undone, complimented by a scarf thrown haphazardly around his neck. His hands that are shoved deep in the pockets of his coat give hint to the fact that he’s probably not even wearing gloves.

Neither of you had spoken a word. The silence is painfully awkward, and you can tell he feels it too, if the way he glances down at his feet in favor of meeting your eyes is anything to go by.

“So, do you—”

“Should we—”

Speaking simultaneously, you both cut your sentences short, falling into a silence that’s somehow louder than the last. God, you had expected it to be awkward but not this awkward. Meeting with Jisung outside of a college setting feels so foreign, the only way you’ve interacted with him thus far has been through school. You can feel your ears burn as Jisung clears his throat.

“Sorry, uh, you were saying?” He pulls his hand out of his pocket to gesture at you, confirming that he is indeed not wearing gloves.

The question hangs in the air as Jisung pushes his glasses up with two fingers and looks at you expectantly. His cheeks are tinted with blush from the prickling cold. Lips slightly parted, his breath hisses through his teeth with every inhale, as if trying to supress them from chattering.

“Oh, yeah,” you begin your sentence again, shaking your head to focus. You’re standing in a parking lot in the middle of an actual snowstorm, now is not the time to be fawning over him. “should we, like, head to your car? I’m freezing. I’ll just leave my car here because it’s— yeah.” You twist around to look at your drab little car. It’ll be fine.

He lets out a little puff of laughter, sending a cloud of frost into the air.

“Yeah, good idea. c’mon let’s go.”

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The car ride to Jisung’s place is less awkward than your experience in the parking lot, but not by much. A comment is occasionally made about the storm, but other than that the ride is filled with silence and the steady swishing of windshield wipers.

Jisung glances at you from the corner of his eye. You’re examining the fluff on your gloves with your head down, not seeming too intrested in conversation.

Or maybe you’re uncomfortable. That would make a lot of sense.

Wincing internally at himself, Jisung draws his attention back to the road and furrows his brow, trying to remember if he’s done something wrong. Although, he supposes that being alone with, well, not a stranger— Jisung would like to think he’s at least a good aquaintance to you— but with someone you don't know too well, is enough to put anyone on edge. He has to remind himself that this was your idea.

When your contact info had popped up on his screen, interrupting his very important business (scrolling), he promptly froze, had an intense mental battle on how he should answer, dropped his phone, picked it back up again, and hit answer, all in the span of about four seconds.

Jisung has to admit he does have a slight thing for you. Well okay, maybe a big thing. Like, he has your class schedule and favorite study spot memorized kind of big. Also you wear your hair up on Tuesdays.

But thats besides the point really.

After what feels like a lifetime of driving and the occasional buzzing of muted christmas music playing through the radio, you two finally arrive at Jisung’s place.

It’s nicer than you had expected. The house is dimly lit, but perfectly tidy. Best of all, it’s warm. Behind you, Jisung’s keys jingle as he hangs them up next to the door.

“Uh, make yourself at home, okay? There’s instant ramen, some milk… actually, that’s about it but hey, at least there’s ramen.” He beckons you in, tugging his scarf off while smiling ruefully at the lack of food options to offer.

“That’s okay, I believe in instant ramen supremacy,” you state confidently, earning a laugh from Jisung as you follow him into the kitchen, resting your weight on the counter.

“A woman after my own heart I see,” He jokes, closing his eyes and placing a hand dramatically over his heart. His knuckles are still flushed pink from the cold.

If only he knew.

You can feel the awkward tension from earlier start to melt away now that you’re here. Thank God, because you were seriously considering going back to your car and just waiting out the night there. You couldn’t do that though. Jisung was so willing to help, coming as soon as you had called. Which is kind of crazy, if you stop to think about it for a second. Going out of your way to drive out in a snowstorm and picking someone up on Christmas Eve would be absolutely out of the question for most people, let alone someone you aren’t even close with.

Jisung is busying himself with running some warm water in the kitchen. He rests one elbow on the counter, testing the water tempature. You find yourself watching his movements, how he runs a hand through his hair, the dark strands dampening with the moisture from his hand, and how his eyebrows pinch in concentration until the tempature is just right. Jisung seems more comfortable and relaxed now that he’s here. He’s not a tall man, by any stretch of the imagination, but his confident demeanor makes his presence seem much larger.

Running his chilled hands underneath the warm faucet to bring the warmth back, Jisung looks to the window. You blink and follow suit. Fortunately, he hadn’t caught you staring.

“Holy shit, we must have made it here just in time,” He laughs incredulously, shutting off the sink and shaking the rest of the dampness from his hands.

The window is completely engulfed in white.

Outside, the wind angrily laments that you’re inside and safe. You can’t imagine being stuck out there in that, alone. Just the thought of it makes your insides churn with a strange mixture of anxiety and relief, and you realize that you haven’t even thanked Jisung yet for saving your sorry ass. You open your mouth, but the words seem to dry up on your tongue.

Jisung tilts his head at you, questioning.

“No for real, I haven’t seen a snow this crazy in a while,” Running your hand along the cool countertop, you fix your eyes on an unlit candle to the left of Jisung’s form. Why can’t you just say thank you? It’s not that hard, yet you find yourself avoiding the two simple words like the plauge.

A beat of silence falls over the two of you, but this time it’s comfortable. There’s no rush or pressure to say anything, just a quiet presence while gazing out at the bright sheet that blankets the night.

⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆

You have an idea.

Is it a good idea? Probably not, but it’s an idea nonetheless.

While you had been absentmindedly thumbing through your Pinterest homepage in an attempt to pass time, you came across a recipe. And not just any recipe, it’s a sugar cookie recipe in the likeness of a snowman. With a little face on it.

The tantalizing image stirrs your sweet tooth, and you glance over at Jisung on the other side of the couch. He seems to be putting an obviously large amount of distance between the two of you, as the entire middle section of the couch remains empty with you and Jisung perched on either side.

“Hey, so… are you any good at baking?”

Jisung’s head jerks up at your question.

“Uhhh. I plead the fifth.”

You find yourself grinning.

“How about this, do you like baking?”

“Now that. Is a different story.” His knees spread apart as he adjusts his position on the couch, slouching lower and crossing his arms across his chest. He looks at you sideways. “What, did you have something in mind?”

You definitely do have something in mind, and it doesn't have anything to do with baking.

“Hear me out,” you point your phone screen at Jisung, who leans in to squint at it. “we make christmas cookies. In the shape of snowmen.”

“You know what, hell yeah. Nothing better to do,” Jisung stretches his arms towards the ceiling, hands balling up into fists. Your wandering eyes betray you, and you can’t help but notice the little sliver of smooth skin that peeks out from where his shirt slides up as he stretches. He needs to stop being so casually sexy right now or you might go crazy. “Cross your fingers though, ‘cause I dunno if I have any eggs.”

⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆

Currently standing in a neat line across the countertop are all the gathered ingredients necessary for the cookies. Jisung had miraculously acquired two eggs from the depths of his fridge, which now sit next to the flour, and you had spent a good five minutes opening and closing cabinets in search of all the dry ingredients.

You’ve baked a couple of times before. Granted, the first time the cookies were still soft in the middle and the second time may or may not have involved the fire department, but third time’s the charm right? You’re determined to make and eat these cookies.

Next to you, Jisung is staring at the ingredients, hands on his hips. Seemingly at a loss, he looks over to you for instructions.

“Okay, step one: combine the dry ingredients…”

So far, so good. Jisung was put in charge of the flour mixture, while you had started the task of creaming the butter and sugar together.

When you glance up to check on Jisung after a bit, you find him leveling out a scoop of flour, meticulously brushing any stray lumps of powder off of the top with a butter knife. His eyes squint in concentration until he is satisfied with the measurement, proceeding to dump it into the bowl. A faint cloud of white powder dusts the air.

You watch him with amusement as he scoops another cup out of the flour bag, starting the whole process over again.

He must have felt you staring, because his head darts up, eyes finding yours. You quickly duck your head back towards your work.

You wonder if Jisung is a perfectionist with most things in his life. He’s mentioned before that he writes and produces music, you figure that has a certain degree of perfectionism to it. Then again, during the car ride here your feet were resting on several bags of fast food from various restaurants. Maybe his perfectionism is selective.

The undeveloped batter clings to the mixer as you switch it off and pull it out of the bowl. You swipe a finger over one of the whisks and pop it in your mouth. It might just be sugar and butter, but hey, that shit’s good.

Turning your head to offer Jisung a taste, you let out a gasp of surprise upon realizing that he’s standing right behind you. He leans forward, lowkey trapping you between him and the counter as he crosses an arm around you to scoop up some of the mixture from the edge of the bowl. Your breath catches at his proximity. His warm breath brushes againt your neck, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

He draws away, licking his finger while you remain frozen in place. What happened to him keeping a good distance from you? You don’t think he even realizes what he just did, because he just strolls on back to his little station, quietly humming a tune as he goes.

⋆⁺₊❅ ⁺₊❆⋆

As soon as the oven door slams shut, Jisung is immediately squatted in front of it, dutifully watching the uniform balls of dough through the yellow tint of the oven light.

“You know those will take, like, thirteen minutes to cook, right?” Leaning over the countertop, you raise an eyebrow at his crouched form.

“Thirteen? No way. I’ll basically be dead by then.” Jisung stands up, brushing some of the remaining flour off his pants. That’s when you notice a patch of white just above his left eyebrow. How did that even happen?

You step forward without thinking, reaching up to rub the spot off with your thumb. His skin is ridiculously soft, and you find your treacherous fingers lingering for probably longer than was strictly necessary.

Jisung’s eyes are twice as wide as normal as you pull your hand away. He blinks at you and swallows, causing his throat to bob up and down.

Oh so now he’s flustered. You’re beginning to think your little crush is reciprocated after all.

Momentarily confident, you send him a sweet smile.

“That’s better.”

Jisung doesn't say anything in return, but you don't think you’re imagining the slight red tint to his ears.

Three loud beeps announce that the cookies have completed their oven time and are now ready to be taken out and consumed.

Jisung arms himself with oven mitts and carefully slides the cookie tray out of the oven and onto the potholders that you had placed on the countertop a few minutes prior.

They look good. Like, really good. You can feel your mouth starting to water.

“Holy shit, I think we actually did it! Thank God they didn't catch on fire this time,” you exclaim, poking one experimentally with a finger.

Jisung’s eyebrows fly up and he shoots you a bewildered look.

“I thought you said you could cook??”

“Hey now, I never said that…”

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

Throughout the night, you have become painfully aware of the fact that you are wearing jeans.

Thankfully, since you were heading to your family’s house anyways, you have an entire suitcase packed with the works. Your comfy pajamas from last year are sounding really good right now.

Jisung is propped up on the corner of the couch with a cookie in one hand and his phone in the other. His cheeks are stuffed with probably half of said cookie right now, making him look like some sort of rodent. It’s cute.

You need to ask him where his bathroom is to change, but you find yourself hesitating. Jisung looks up at you with a confused expression and a cookie crumb clinging to his cheek.

Realizing that you’re just looming over the side of his couch ominously, you are quick to blurt out your question.

“Do you know where the bathroom is?”

Goddamnit. Of course he knows where his own fucking bathroom is. What kind of question is that?

Jisung, luckily, seems to have found it amusing, his eyes squinting up as he lets out a hearty laugh. Which almost, almost, makes up for the fact that you just asked the stupidest question in the history of mankind. It doesn’t stop your cheeks from heating up though.

“Yeah, I think it’s down the hallway to the left,”

He’s playing along. You wonder if he has any idea how much better that makes you feel as you break into a wide smile and thank him, scurrying off to go grab your…

Suitcase.

Your suitcase. Where was it? You don’t remember bringing it to Jisung’s place, where could it be? Did you- oh. You remember your dingy little car, sitting out there in the gas station parking lot. Your dingy little car that happened to have your suitcase in it.

Sometimes you surprise yourself, because how can one be this much of a mess? Everything has gone wrong tonight, and now this? You couldn’t even make it to your family’s house to surprise them. The weight of it all is beginning to crush you, forcing tears to well up in your eyes.

Stopping in the hallway around the corner, out of Jisung’s eyeshot, you shove your impending emotions down your throat, the roughness of the wall against your fist keeping you steady. You are not going to cry right now. You’ll find a solution. You just need to calm down first. Closing your eyes, you take in deep breaths, letting each exhale push you farther away from tears.

Once you’re sure you have yourself under control, you consider your options. You could ask Jisung for something to wear, or you could remain uncomfortable in your jeans for the remainder of the night. Now, you wouldn’t be upset about wearing Jisung’s clothes, not even in the slightest. They’d probably smell like him, too. How that man always smells so damn good is beyond you.

He’ll understand if you ask him for his clothes. You know he will. Hopefully, he won’t take it in the wrong way. It’s not like you want to wear his clothes, you just have to because you don’t have any other option.

Yeah no, you really just want to wear his clothes.

Rounding the corner, you expect to see Jisung on the couch only to find that he’s no longer in his spot, or in the living room, for that matter. He’s not in the kitchen either (which still has various baking supplies and smears of flour scattered about. You make a mental note to clean that up later). Huh. Maybe he went to his room. You settle down on the couch to wait for him, busying yourself with counting your knuckles.

Sock-padded footsteps cause your head to perk up in their direction. Jisung emerges from his room, closing the door behind him with his foot. His face lights up when he finds you on the couch.

“I wasn’t sure if you had brought any PJs or not, so, I grabbed some things you can wear,” He says, then seems to check himself and quickly adds, “If you want! You don’t, like, have to or anything, just thought I would offer.” In his arms he carries a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

You could kiss him right now.

“Oh my God, Jisung, are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course, it’s no problem at all.” He reassures you.

Jisung had offered the clothes purely out of wanting to make sure you’re comfortable. Sleeping in jeans is pretty awful and he didn’t see you bring a suitcase or anything. Maybe he also wanted to give you his clothes but that’s irrelevant.

He watches as you skip off to the bathroom to change with a newfound pep to your step. Jisung shakes his head, grinning despite himself. You’re just so damn cute.

This storm might just be the best thing that’s happened to Jisung in a while. Getting to spend time with you? And on Christmas Eve no less. If you’d have told him that yesterday, he wouldn't have believed it one bit. It’s like all his prayers have been answered.

He finds himself wondering, what were your plans before you called him for help? Are you upset that you’re here, at his place, instead of wherever you were heading to? Jisung hopes not. As much as he’s happy you’re here to keep him company, he can’t help but worry about how you’re feeling about the situation.

As if on cue, you appear once again at the entrance to the hallway. This time though, you’re all cozyed up in his clothes.

Jisung’s eyes widen as he takes in the sight of you. The sweats nearly swallow your feet whole, and his hoodie— which is oversized in the first place—fits almost comically large on your frame; hanging off of one shoulder.

It’s not the exposed shoulder that gets him necessarily, this isn’t the 19th century, it’s the fact that you’re in his clothes and in his house.

He swallows.

“You look- you, uh, yeah. You look good. Warm?”

Jisung’s reaction tells you all you need to know. You laugh in response.

“Mhm! Add this to the list of things I definitely owe you for,”

“Pshh, nah don’t even worry about it, i’m happy to help,” Jisung figures that if he doesn’t look at you too hard, he’ll be able to keep his brain from short-circuiting. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Sparing a careful glance back up at you, he pats the couch to back up his offer.

The couch dips as you plop down next to him, sporting that smile of yours that has him weak. You had looked so distraught just a couple of minutes ago, and just the simple act of him offering his clothes and a movie had brought your spirits right up. Cute.

Jisung rests his chin on his hand and listens as you lay out your christmas movie options, but he’s only half-paying attention. He knows that he’ll enjoy whatever movie you choose, as long as you’re there to watch it with him.

He also knows that he’s probably more than a little bit head over heels for you.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The smell of freshly-microwaved popcorn fills the room as you and Jisung take your respective places on the couch, the silent agreement apparently being to keep at least a foot between your bodies at all times

You settle in and get comfortable while the opening credits roll across the screen. Jisung is tossing some popcorn in his mouth, having already eaten nearly half of his bag. You get the feeling that he’s going to be asking to steal some of your popcorn sooner or later.

Even with him being a foot away, you are hyper-aware of his presence. The movie is starting, but you know there’s no way you are going to able to maintain any sort of attention span with Jisung sitting right there.

Still facing towards the screen, you sneak a quick look at him from the corner of your eye, only to find his eyes already trained on you.

The unexpected eye contact makes your heart jump to your throat, and you quickly jerk your gaze back to the television.

Why was he looking at you? Is he still looking? You consider turning again to check, but then decide against it, preferring to live in ignorance for the time being. You’re not sure you can deal with knowing he’s looking at you right now.

Not even ten minutes into the movie, a particularly loud whistle of wind rushes past the windows. The lights flicker once. And then again.

Fuck.

You barely have time to turn and look at a now wide-eyed Jisung before both of you are plunged into absolute darkness.

A small yelp of terror escapes from Jisung, and you feel his weight shift on the couch.

Blinking rapidly as though that would make the lights magically turn back on, you find yourself scooting towards Jisung. A heartbeat of silence passes, with only the sound of your and Jisung’s soft breaths cutting through the darkness.

“The power’s out,” He observes helpfully, voice noticably higher than it’s normal tenor.

“No shit.” You pull out your phone to turn on the flashlight, illuminating your faces. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden intrusion of light, peeking one eye open at you after a moment.

The light reveals that he is a lot closer than you had thought. Barely an inch of space was left between your legs, and you swear you can feel warmth radiating off of him. Huh. That little mole on his face is visible from here.

Jisung swallows hard (apparently a habit of his) and quickly combs a hand through his hair, pulling himself up from the couch.

“Hold on, I think I have a candle somewhere,” He still looks a bit frazzled, but heads towards the kitchen nonetheless.

You turn and cross your arms over the back of the couch, illuminating his path.

“You do, it’s on the counter,” You point at it, having noticed it earlier when you’d first arrived. “‘Spiced apple toddy’, huh?”

You grin at the offended look on Jisung’s face as he approaches, candle and lighter in hand.

“Hey! They’re seasonal,” he objects to your teasing, placing the candle on the coffee table.

T he lighter sparks into a flame as Jisung drops back down on the couch and lights the candle, bathing your surroundings in a soft, warm light.

Well. So much for the Christmas movie.

“That sucks, I really wanted to see what was going to happen to Frosty this year,” Jisung mirrors your thoughts with a sigh, crossing one ankle over his leg and shaking his head with a tsk.

You giggle, giving him a light shove on the shoulder. In the back of your mind, you feel like you should be upset about yet another thing going wrong tonight. But how could something be wrong, really, when Jisung is smiling like that. Smiling like that because of you. The thought ignites little butterflies in your stomach.

The power doesn't seem to have any plans to turn on again anytime soon, so you and Jisung break out a deck of cards. Turns out he’s a big trash talker when it comes to competition, which has you laughing your head off at the creative insults he throws at you. Seriously, how does he come up with these?

After losing your third game of speed, you realize that goosebumps have began to form all up and down your arms. Not wanting Jisung to notice, you try to smooth them down as nonchalantly as possible.

Of course, he immediately notices.

“Are you cold?” He furrows his eyebrows in concern, drawing his attention away from his hand of cards to you.

“Nope!” A shiver decides that it’s the right moment to shake your whole body. “Okay maybe a little,” you admit, “but I’m totally fine, it’s not bad at all.”

In all honesty, that was a complete lie. It’s cold as shit. You just hope your smile is enough to distract from your clenched teeth and slightly runny nose.

Jisung raises an eyebrow at you skeptically, obviously not buying it.

“So I guess if I got a blanket, you wouldn't want it, right?”

“Hey, thats not-” you start to protest to him poking fun at you, but your confidence shrivels when Jisung places his cards on the table, batting his eyes at you in mock attention.

It’s flustering, to say the least. He directly offered you the solution to your discomfort, and didn’t really leave you with the choice to say no. Which, you decide, is kinda hot. That seems to describe most of what Jisung does, though.

You drop your hands down on the table in defeat. “Fine. Can I please have a blanket?”

As a response to your request, Jisung simply hoists himself up once more, tapping you twice on the top of the head as he passes.

“Attagirl.”

The sideways grin he flashes you tells you that he knows exactly the effect that that little word had on your insides.

He’s going to be the death of you.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

You had just barely managed to compose yourself when Jisung returns with not one, not two, but an entire armful of blankets. In favor of just dropping them all on the couch, he decides to launch both himself and the blankets onto the couch simultaniously. His legs fly up behind him as he lands belly-down onto the pile of blankets, face buried in the soft fabric.

Whether he’s trying to draw out a laugh or not, you bark out a laugh that’s probably louder than the situation called for. You slap a hand over your mouth in embarrassment as he lifts himself up to sit on the empty cushion of the couch.

It’s intresting, the way he moves. Every motion so natural, every curve so perfect, it traps your attention to him like a moth to a flame. His muscles are lean, tensing when he pushes himself up. You follow the lightest trace of a vein trailing down from his bicep to his hand, absentmindedly wondering how his hand would feel in yours. Wondering if he would ever so lightly run his fingers over the back of your hand, your collarbone, your jaw…

“So do you want a blanket or what?” Jisung waves his hand, snapping you out of your head. You hope he hadn’t noticed the way you were essentially ogling him just now. He most likely had though, given how annoyingly observant he’s proven to be.

The corners of Jisung’s mouth quirk up, a witheld laugh brimming behind his eyes. Okay scratch that, he definitely noticed.

Too humiliated to say anything, you take a seat next to him and toss a blanket over your head. The outside noises dim significantly from under the shelter of the blanket. The blanket that— unfortunately for you and your creative imagination— smells quite strongly of Jisung. You find yourself having to refrain from burying your face in the cloth. Because that would be weird.

It’s warm at least. Staying here forever sounds like a good plan.

A wave of fresh, cool air washes over you as the edge of the blanket lifts up to reveal Jisung peeking in at you.

“May I join you?”

You nod, hoping the darkness will conceal your flushed face. Jisung scootches to sit next to you and flicks the blanket back over both of your forms. Darkness encases you once more, only this time you aren’t alone.

Jisung’s phone light shines out, lighting up your faces in such a way that makes you think he might break into some cheesy horror story; the kind that you were genuinely terrified of in second grade.

He’s close. Like, really close. You could count his eyelashes if you wanted.

His eyes crinkle slightly as he gives you a little close-mouthed smile. He looks so lovely right now, you can’t help but smile right back at him. Except your smile definitely isn't lovely since you’re cheesing so hard.

When he chuckles, a breath of warm air puffs over your face, making you warmer than you think you’ve ever been.

Despite being a good bodily temprature already, the urge to wrap your arms around Jisung and bask in his physical presence is getting stronger by the second.

“I’m still cold.” The words tumble from your mouth before you can stop them, such a blatant untruth that it makes your heart speed up.

Jisung’s head drops, shoulders bouncing slightly with silent laughter.

As if your ears couldn't get any hotter than they were already.

“Still cold, huh? You know what’s crazy?” He leans in just a touch further as if about to tell you some great secret, his voice quieting almost to a whisper. “Me too.”

Jisung arm wraps around your shoulders, and he turns you sideways, pulling you flush to him. How you seem to fit perfectly in the curve of his side, you’ll never know. Resting your head down on his shoulder and tentatively reaching a hand up to curl on his chest, you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding. His heartbeat pounds in your ear, slower than your own jumping pulse, but much louder.

Wrapped in Jisung’s arms, you are definitely warmer than before. Which—since you really weren’t cold in the first place— has you sweating, the space under the blanket suddenly feeling small and suffocating.

You toss the top of the blanket off of your heads, inhaling the cold, crisp air now available to your lungs.

You’re not sure what comes over you. maybe it was the way that he tilts his head back to lean on the back of the couch, or maybe it was the little sigh he lets out, his breath just barely visible in the chilled air surrounding you. The hand that’s gently rubbing up and down your upper arm definitely isn't helping either.

You reach up and plant a chaste kiss to his cheek.

Jisung instantly tenses under you, every muscle tightening. You pull back to look at him, finding him frozen, staring straight ahead. a gorgeous pink tint graces his cheeks.

Always so confident until he’s the one being flirted with. Cute.

He’s silent and still for just a hint too long, and you start to get worried. Did you read the energy wrong? Was he just being nice?

You open your mouth to blurt out some sort of apology, but Jisung turns his head to look at you, eyes wide, searching your own. Your mouth snaps shut.

“Can you do that again?” His request is quiet and mumbled, nervousness evident in the way his knee starts to bounce up and down rapidly.

You reach up to grab his chin, his skin soft beneath your fingers. He’s real. He’s here and under your fingertips, gazing at you like you hung the moon.

You lean in, but pause to hover just millimeters away from his lips, your breaths mingling in the space between.

It’s not until Jisung makes a noise in his throat that is somewhere between a huff and a whine that you close the final distance between you two.

A white-hot flame ignites in your stomach when your mouths connect, only blazing brighter when Jisung runs his hand up the length of your back to rest it on the back of your head, holding you softly but firmly to him.

He wants you, everything about you. And you want him too, you always have.

When you part, you let out a breathless giggle. What just happened?

It seems as though Jisung is feeling the same way, a look of disbelief of his face as his eyes flick between your own.

“Thank you.” The two words that you’ve been skirting around all night finally slip past your lips.

“For what, the kiss? Anytime, babe.” He sends you an over-exaggerated wink, which of course doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but it is drowned out by the slightly more pressing fact that he just called you ‘babe’.

Not that you mind. At all, actually.

“First of all, I’m the one who gave you the kiss, thank you very much, and secondly I just- well, it just means, y’know, a lot to me that you picked me up… and stuff…” You wince as your confidence audibly dwindles, looking at the couch beside him, “So yeah, thank you. So much. I don’t know what I would have done without you tonight.”

“Hey, hey,” He brings your chin back up to look at him. “Seriously, it was no trouble at all. To be honest, I was so not looking forward to being alone on Christmas eve.” His gaze lightens, “So really, I should be thanking you because this is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.”

His genuine words paired with that soft look on his face make you realize that you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else or with anyone else tonight.

For the nth time tonight, you smile.

[mayanneaa]

sneaking around the christmas tree - ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ.

PAIRING : jj maybank x reader

SUMMARY : you catch jj trying to open the christmas presents at 3 a.m.

WARNING(S) : none! not proofread

A/N : yall i started writing when it was sunny then it snowed and its sunny again its almost Christmas with NO SNOW?!! (dividers by @roseraris)

WC : 0.6k

masterlist.

You stir under the three layers of blankets, woken up by the creaking floor of the Chateau. JJ’s warmth, earlier centrally on top of you, is gone. You huff as you sit up, only to notice your boyfriend’s not in the bed.

You grab one of the blankets, your mind and movement still heavy with sleep, and quietly leave the guest room.

The whole house still smells of gingerbreads. Christmas is only hours away, so all of you decided to get the Chateau ready. You and Kie spent most of the time putting on the decorations, while Sarah and Pope prepared the food. As for John B. and JJ… they were supposed to find some pretty ornaments and a Christmas tree.

You walk through the dark room, following the sound. You see a moving light around the corner, next to the tree. There's a rustle of papers, and you grimace.

"Shit..."

A voice appears, making you hold back a laugh. When you come even closer, you spot the intruder—too focused to even notice you right behind his back.

JJ's sitting on the floor, checking all the gifts under the tree. He helps himself with his phone's flashlight, chaotically trying to find the boxes addressed to him. To your surprise, nothing's torn apart yet.

You stand there, watching him with an amused look, and once he finds the one dedicated to him, you nudge his back with your foot.

He jumps up screaming, the gift falling out of his lap. You can’t hold it in anymore— a laugh escapes your lips, cutting through JJ’s heavy breathing.

“Shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up!” you whisper, covering your mouth. He puts a hand on his heart and gives you a hhh look.

“It’s not funny!” JJ snarls, praying you don’t see how red his face is in the moonlit room.

“It’s hilarious. Even my little cousins are patient enough to wait until the morning!”

He rolls his eyes and gets up, a shiver crawling down his spine as he comes up to you and nudges your arm, wanting you to cover him with the blanket too. You giggle as you do so.

“It’s not fair,” You hear his muffled voice through your hair, “I get up, sit on the cold ass floor for this long only for you to scold me? Where’s the good Christmas spirit?”

You snort into his chest, pushing him out of the room. “Get out.”

The next morning comes by, the chatter filled with excitement waking you and JJ. He groans into your neck, but as soon as he hears Kie says “presents”, he's already on his feet, running to the living room.

Everyone is surrounding the tree. Sarah and John B. are cuddling on the couch, and Kie is pacing around while Pope is curled up on the floor.

JJ quickly settles next to Pope, pulling you with him. When everyone's ready, Kiara kneels next to the big pile of gifts.

You all agreed to do a Secret Santa: Kiara drew your name, you drew Pope's, Pope drew John B.'s, John B. drew JJ's, JJ drew Sarah's, and Sarah drew Kiara's.

For Pope, you decided a little telescope kit would be perfect. He's been discussing spotting some constellations in the Outer Banks for a while now. You neatly wrapped it in maroon paper, with a golden ribbon.

"Alright, so who's going first?" Kie asks with her hands on her hips.

JJ's quick to put up his arm, but you smash it down halfway in the air. He looks at you with a frown, pouting his lips.

"Karma," you whisper, "You don't want me to rat you out, do ya?"

He rolls his eyes but stays quiet. You can see his leg bouncing, unable to wait any longer, and you can't help but smile. Seeing him so happy, surrounded by all your friends, makes you realize just how much these moments matter. After everything, this is where you belong. With these people, in this place.

"What?" He catches your gaze, and you don't even try to hide it.

"Nothing, Jay. Merry Christmas."

[honeyhae-svt]

❄ mistletoe - h. joshua 🎄

hong joshua x gn!reader

december with seventeen ! 3/13 tags: joshua x reader, holiday au, christmas love story, snowball fight, mistletoe kiss, fluff, romance, cozy vibes, snow angels, warmth in the cold, friends to lovers, slow burn, winter vibes genre: romance, fluff, holiday/christmas au, friendship, humor warnings: none (this is a fluff-filled story with light teasing and playful moments) wc: 3702 a/n: 3/13 ! ten to go. PLAY MISTLETOE BY JUSTIN BIEBER RN !!

the town square was alive with the kind of magic only december could bring. strings of fairy lights draped over every lamppost, their soft glow reflecting off the freshly fallen snow. the scent of roasted chestnuts and cinnamon wafted through the air, mingling with the sound of laughter and the occasional jingle of sleigh bells. stalls lined the cobblestone paths, each one adorned with wreaths and red bows, offering everything from hand-knitted scarves to steaming cups of mulled cider.

you pulled your coat tighter around you, your breath visible in the frosty air as you glanced at the clipboard in your gloved hands. "decorations—check. food vendors—check. sound system…" your eyes scanned the square, landing on a small stage being set up at the far end. "pending."

"you’re doing great, by the way," a voice piped up beside you. turning, you saw karina, the friend who had somehow convinced you to volunteer for this event. she was bundled in a puffy coat and a bright red scarf, her cheeks flushed from the cold, pretty as ever.

"sure," you replied with a wry smile. "because frantically running around and triple-checking lists just screams ‘competent.’"

karina laughed, linking her arm with yours. "it’s your first christmas in town. you’re supposed to be soaking in the charm, not stressing over the details."

"says the person who handed me this clipboard," you teased, nudging her lightly.

"okay, fair," she admitted, grinning. "but trust me, once the festival starts, you’ll forget all about the clipboard. besides, we’ve got an amazing performer lined up."

"oh?" you asked, only half-listening as you scanned the square again. "who is it?"

karina's eyes sparkled mischievously. "you’ll see."

before you could press her for more details, she gave your arm a squeeze and darted off, leaving you standing there with equal parts curiosity and exasperation. shaking your head, you turned your attention back to the clipboard, unaware of the pair of eyes watching you from across the square.

joshua hong adjusted the strap of his guitar case, a small smile tugging at his lips as he observed the flustered but determined volunteer coordinating the chaos. he didn’t recognize you, which was unusual in a town where everyone seemed to know everyone. a newcomer, then. interesting.

"ready to soundcheck?" one of the event organizers called to him.

joshua nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before heading toward the stage.

the festival was in full swing, but you were too busy juggling a stack of boxes filled with ornaments to notice the festive cheer buzzing around you. balancing the boxes precariously, you tried to maneuver your way through the crowd, offering polite apologies to anyone who accidentally bumped into you.

"need a hand?"

the smooth voice startled you, and you turned to see a tall figure in a dark coat and scarf, his smile warm enough to melt the frost clinging to the air. he gestured toward the wobbling stack in your arms.

"uh, i… sure, thanks," you stammered, a little flustered as he easily took half the load. it wasn’t until you glanced at him again that recognition hit. this was the performer karina had been so cryptic about. joshua hong—the local celebrity with a voice that could make christmas carols sound like love songs.

"you’re doing all this by yourself?" he asked, his tone light as the two of you made your way toward the main decoration stall.

"it’s kind of in the job description," you replied, setting the boxes down with a relieved sigh. "volunteer extraordinaire, at your service."

joshua chuckled, the sound rich and genuine. "well, volunteer extraordinaire, you’ve got some serious multitasking skills. but even superheroes need a sidekick, right?"

before you could respond, a group of kids came barreling past, almost knocking over a nearby display of poinsettias. you instinctively reached out to steady it, your clipboard slipping from under your arm in the process. joshua caught it before it hit the ground, his reflexes quick.

"definitely a sidekick," he quipped, handing it back to you with a playful grin.

"thanks," you murmured, still trying to steady yourself—and not just because of the near mishap. there was something about him, a natural ease that seemed to blend seamlessly with the festive chaos, leaving you both intrigued and… frustratingly charmed.

the two of you spent the next hour working together, joshua insisting on helping with everything from stringing lights to setting up tables. his presence drew curious glances from passersby, but he didn’t seem to mind, focused instead on making you laugh with little jokes and observations.

"you’ve got glitter on your face," he pointed out at one point, gesturing vaguely toward your cheek.

"what? where?" you asked, swiping at your face awkwardly.

he leaned in slightly, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "here, let me…" he said softly, brushing a thumb just below your cheekbone. the gesture was innocent enough, but it sent a wave of heat rushing to your face nonetheless.

as the evening progressed, the mistletoe seemed to become a running joke. every time you turned around, it felt like one of the sprigs was conveniently hanging nearby, and joshua never missed an opportunity to point it out.

"you know, it’s practically a crime to ignore mistletoe," he said, his tone teasing as the two of you stood under yet another sprig while rearranging a table display.

"pretty sure it’s optional," you shot back, trying to sound unfazed.

he tilted his head, feigning deep thought. "hmm, maybe. but it’s bad luck to tempt fate during the holidays."

"you’re impossible," you muttered, though you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

"and yet, here we are," he replied smoothly, his grin making it clear he was thoroughly enjoying this little game.

despite the teasing, there was a sincerity in his actions that made it hard to stay flustered for long. whether it was handing you a cup of hot cocoa when he noticed you shivering or helping an elderly vendor fix a stubborn string of lights, joshua had a way of making everything feel a little brighter.

by the time the night wound down, you couldn’t deny that he’d left an impression—one that lingered long after the last stall had closed and the fairy lights cast their soft glow over the empty square.

the festival's glow had long since faded as the crowd dispersed, leaving only a few lingering souls, each wrapped in the warmth of the evening's festivities. you were wrapping up, your clipboard now a crumpled relic of the day, as the final touches were made to the stalls. the soft crunch of snow underfoot was the only sound as you made your way toward the town's ice skating rink, your steps slow and heavy from a long day of coordinating and running errands.

but then, you heard it—joshua's voice, light and warm as ever, calling your name from behind.

"hey," he greeted, appearing beside you with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in hand. "thought you might need a break."

you smiled, accepting the drink gratefully. "thanks. this night’s been… a lot." your gaze shifted, following the snowflakes drifting down, blanketing the square in a thick layer of white.

"i can imagine," joshua said, his tone soft but carrying an undercurrent of something you couldn’t quite place. he fell into step beside you, matching your slow pace. "you’ve been running around all day, coordinating everything. that's impressive."

"well," you shrugged, wrapping your hands around the cup. "someone had to make sure everything was in order." you stole a glance at him, noting the way he seemed a little distant, his usual playful demeanor dimming slightly.

"yeah," joshua murmured, but there was a hesitation in his voice that made you glance at him more closely. "i heard you talking earlier. about leaving after christmas?"

you froze. the warmth from the cocoa seemed to drain from your fingers as the weight of his words sank in. "what?" you asked, trying to steady your voice, but a knot had already formed in your stomach.

"you said something about going back to the city, after the festival. thought i'd check if that’s still the plan." his voice was carefully neutral, though his gaze was intense, searching yours.

you couldn’t help the confusion that bubbled up. "oh, that… yeah, i’ve got some things to sort out. after the holidays, i’m going back." you tried to brush it off, but there was something in his eyes that made you pause. "but it’s not like i’m leaving forever. i’ll be back for work and stuff."

there was a long silence between you, one that stretched out uncomfortably as joshua seemed to retreat further into himself, his gaze now fixed ahead.

"right," he said quietly. "well, i guess that makes sense." his words were distant, the playfulness from earlier all but gone. it was strange, this shift in him. you were used to his teasing, the way he would joke and make everything feel easy, but now… now he seemed so different. like he’d closed off in a way you didn’t understand.

"joshua," you called softly, hesitating. "are you… are you okay?"

he turned to you then, his expression unreadable. for a moment, there was only the sound of the wind and the soft hum of the distant festival. and then, he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "yeah, i’m fine. just, you know, a little tired. long day, that’s all."

you weren’t convinced. you wanted to press him for more, to understand why the joshua you knew was suddenly so distant. but the words caught in your throat, leaving you frustrated and unsure.

"i’ll teach you how to skate," he added quickly, as if to change the subject, his eyes lighting up with a new, brighter energy. "if you’re up for it, that is."

you nodded, grateful for the distraction. "sure, why not? i’ve never tried before."

joshua led you to the rink, his hand naturally brushing against yours as you approached the edge. there was a quiet moment between you, both of you standing there, bundled up in scarves and jackets, staring out at the ice. joshua grinned at you, his usual playful self returning just a little.

"okay, so," he began, his voice light. "first rule of skating: try not to fall."

"great," you muttered, already dreading the inevitable disaster that was about to unfold.

he laughed, a low, easy sound that filled the space between you. "don’t worry, i’ve got you. just hold onto my hand and follow my lead."

you hesitated but then took a deep breath, letting him guide you onto the ice. your legs wobbled beneath you at first, but joshua's grip on your hand was steady, reassuring. he guided you slowly, laughing when you nearly slipped.

"hey, you're doing better than i thought," he teased, his voice warm with the familiar teasing tone. "maybe i should start calling you a skating prodigy."

"please," you muttered, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest at the way his hand felt in yours. "i’m just not falling on my face yet."

joshua's grin widened. "yet."

you spent the next few minutes skating together, him teaching you the basics and laughing when you stumbled. the chill in the air seemed to disappear in his presence, replaced by something warm—something that settled in your chest every time his hand brushed against yours or he flashed you that smile. and yet, that nagging feeling still lingered, the one that told you something was off between you two.

finally, after a few more rounds on the rink, joshua stopped, pulling you to the side near a snow-covered path. the area was quieter now, the glow of the festival a distant memory behind you, and the snow felt like it had carved out a little world just for the two of you.

"i don’t want you to leave," joshua said, his voice quieter than before, his hand still holding yours, but this time, there was no teasing. only sincerity. "not just yet. i… i think i’ve caught feelings for you."

you blinked, taken aback by his confession. "joshua, i… i didn’t think you—"

"i know, i know," he interrupted, his face flushed from the cold and his words coming out a little rushed. "i've been acting distant, and i hate that i did, but i didn’t know how to say it. i just thought maybe you wouldn’t feel the same. or maybe you’d leave town and… well, then it would be too late."

you stood there for a moment, the weight of his words settling over you, mixing with the surprise and the warmth that bubbled up inside. it was hard to process, but the more you thought about it, the clearer it became.

"joshua," you said softly, your voice catching in your throat. "i didn't realize... but now that i know, i don’t want to leave things unsaid either."

he stepped a little closer, his gaze never leaving yours, and then, in a soft, sincere voice, he asked, "so… what does that mean? for us?"

you smiled, your heart suddenly light as the snow falling around you. "it means, i’m not leaving just yet. and maybe… just maybe… we should see where this goes."

joshua’s face broke into a grin, his relief palpable. but then, he hesitated, his eyes searching yours with a new intensity. "well, if that’s the case…" he began, his voice almost shy now. "how about you let me take you out on a date? nothing fancy, just… i don’t know, some hot cocoa and maybe a walk under the lights, or even a skating rink if you’re up for it?"

you felt your heart skip a beat. a date? it hadn’t even crossed your mind that he was thinking of this, of taking things further already. but the sincerity in his eyes, the way he held himself so openly, made you feel a warmth that spread through you.

"joshua…" you said, your smile growing, "i think that sounds pretty perfect."

his grin widened, and for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped moving around you. all that was left was the two of you, standing under the twinkling lights, the soft sound of falling snow, and the gentle press of his hand in yours.

"then it’s a date," he said, the playful spark returning to his eyes. "i promise, i’ll make it a night you won’t forget."

you laughed softly, feeling a little shy but also strangely giddy. "i’m looking forward to it," you replied, your voice lighter than it had been all evening.

the two of you stood there, the world quiet except for the soft hum of the holiday festivities in the distance, and as the snow continued to fall around you, you realized that this moment—this beginning—was more than you could’ve ever hoped for.

just as the two of you were about to say something, a snowball suddenly hit you in the back of the head, causing you to freeze in surprise.

"gotcha!" karina called out, her laughter ringing through the air. she was grinning mischievously, clearly delighted with herself. "you two look like you’re in your own little world over here, all lovey-dovey."

you turned to karina, your face flushed, and tried to glare at her, but it was hard to stay mad with the way her eyes were sparkling. before you could say anything, joshua was already brushing the snow off your coat, his hands gentle but quick.

"don’t want you to get cold," he said, his voice soft, but his eyes playful as he made sure no snow clung to you.

"oh, how sweet," karina teased, crossing her arms. "you’re really spoiling her now, huh?"

"well, someone has to take care of her," joshua shot back, a grin tugging at his lips as he wrapped his scarf tighter around your neck. you felt your heart warm at his protectiveness, but then—

"oh, it’s on," karina said, her tone wickedly playful as she scooped up a snowball, launching it straight at joshua.

he ducked easily, and with a smirk, he returned the favor. "watch out, karina!" he warned, before launching a snowball of his own in her direction.

within moments, snowballs were flying in every direction. karina and joshua were laughing and dodging, trying to outwit each other while you stood by, completely unprepared for the chaos.

"you’re just gonna stand there?" karina yelled, throwing another snowball, but you had no time to react. joshua immediately stepped in front of you, raising his arms to block the incoming snowball.

"stay behind me," he said firmly, his tone teasing but protective. "i won’t let you get hit."

"what?" you laughed, "you’re treating me like a princess or something."

"hey, you don’t have gloves on," he said, his eyes soft but mischievous. "besides, you’re too precious to get hit with a snowball."

you rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest made it impossible to say anything sarcastic. joshua had this way of making everything feel just a little bit magical.

"you better not be hiding behind him the whole time," karina shouted, tossing yet another snowball, but joshua dodged it easily, taking a few steps back to shield you further.

"i think i’ll hide behind him forever," you joked, poking joshua in the ribs as he grinned, clearly enjoying the attention.

before you could say anything else, karina threw a big snowball right at joshua, catching him off guard. the impact sent him stumbling backward, and before either of you knew it, he lost his balance completely and fell straight into the snow.

"oh no!" you gasped, quickly bending down to check on him. but as soon as you did, karina laughed triumphantly, her arms raised in victory.

"i finally got him!" she cheered.

but the celebration was short-lived, because in the next second, joshua reached up, grabbing your wrist, and pulled you down beside him. the two of you ended up laughing uncontrollably in the snow, your bodies making soft impressions in the cold ground as you rolled and tumbled together, trying to escape karina’s playful attacks.

"looks like we’re stuck now," joshua teased, his breath visible in the cold air as you both lay there, staring up at the sky, giggling.

"we’re definitely stuck," you agreed, a smile tugging at your lips as you made angel marks in the snow beside him, your body creating the perfect shape next to his. "this is nice."

"perfect, actually," joshua murmured, his voice low and warm as he reached over to take your hand, squeezing it gently. "snow angels with you? i can’t think of a better way to spend the night."

"me neither," you said softly, still laughing, but with a feeling of contentment filling you from head to toe. you looked at him, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade, leaving only the sound of your laughter and the soft, fluffy snow that surrounded you.

karina, watching from a distance, rolled her eyes dramatically. "you two are impossible," she muttered, but her smile was as warm as the Christmas lights twinkling overhead.

joshua turned to you, his grin wide and genuine, his eyes sparkling with something more than just playfulness now. "hey, maybe we can do this again tomorrow?" he asked, his voice filled with hope.

you smiled, your heart light as a snowflake. "i’d like that."

"good," he said, his hand still holding yours, his fingers brushing gently against yours. "because there’s no one else i’d rather make snow angels with."

after karina left to give the two of you some space (or maybe she was just going to find her next snowball victim), the quiet of the night settled in, with the soft crunch of snow beneath your boots as you walked together. the night was peaceful now, the only sound being the occasional giggle between you and joshua as you made your way back to where the lights twinkled in the distance.

as you were walking, joshua stopped suddenly, his eyes catching something above. you followed his gaze and found yourself staring at a mistletoe, hanging just above you both, tucked between two snowy branches of a nearby tree. the sight made your heart skip a beat.

"well, well," joshua said, his voice low and teasing, "looks like we’ve been caught under the mistletoe."

you looked up at him, trying to suppress a grin, but it was impossible. the way he was looking at you—like he was waiting for something, and maybe even hoping for something—made your cheeks heat up.

"what are we supposed to do now?" you teased, trying to play it cool, but the fluttering in your chest gave away just how nervous you were.

"i think you know exactly what to do," he replied with a smirk, his eyes softening as he stepped closer to you. snowflakes dusted his hair and shoulders, and his cheeks were still flushed from the cold, but his warmth—his presence—felt like a blanket around you.

you took a small step toward him, your heart racing. "maybe," you said softly, your breath mixing with the chilly air. "but it’s your turn to make the move."

joshua’s smile widened, his fingers brushing gently against your cheek, brushing away the stray snowflakes that had landed there. "well, if you insist," he murmured, his voice a tender whisper against the quiet night.

then, with a small laugh, he leaned in. the world around you seemed to slow down, the falling snowflakes swirling in the air, everything silent except for the beating of your hearts. his lips were warm against yours, and for that brief moment, everything else faded. there was only the softness of the kiss and the sparkling snow around you, as if the world had paused to give you this perfect moment.

when you pulled away, your noses still brushing, joshua chuckled softly. "i think that’s the best Christmas kiss i’ve ever had."

you laughed, feeling lighter than air. "i think i might agree," you said, your hand slipping into his as you both stood under the mistletoe, still covered in snow, but with warmth radiating between you.

"so," joshua said, squeezing your hand, "what else can we do to make this night even better?"

you smiled up at him, a mischievous glint in your eye. "we can start by making more snow angels."

joshua laughed, shaking his head. "always trying to get me into the snow, huh?"

"you’re lucky i like snow," you teased, nudging him playfully, your heart full of warmth despite the cold air around you.

"well, i’m lucky to be with you," he said, his voice full of sincerity. "this is the best christmas i’ve ever had."

"me too," you whispered, your heart swelling with happiness. and in that moment, with snow falling softly and the mistletoe still above you, everything felt perfectly, wonderfully right.

december with seventeen ! 3/13

[hazzashouse]

First Christmas as a couple (Harry Styles one-shot)

A/N: Merry Christmas 🎄! I hope this little Harry one-shot warms your hearts this holiday season. Thank you for reading and supporting my writing—it means the world to me! Stay tuned because I’ll be sharing more festive one-shots in the coming days to keep the holiday spirit alive. Wishing you all a cozy and magical Christmas!

If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a comment, liking, or reblogging—it truly means so much and helps support my work.

Summary: Spending their first Christmas together, Harry and the reader savor quiet moments filled with warmth and laughter.

Triggers: None—this is a soft, fluffy Christmas story with no heavy content.

Pairing: Harry Styles x Female Reader

The snow fell softly outside the window, flakes swirling under the glow of twinkling fairy lights Harry had insisted on hanging everywhere. The small, cozy living room smelled of pine and cinnamon, the Christmas tree in the corner twinkling with mismatched ornaments. Harry was kneeling by the fire, poking at the logs with careful concentration, his pink lips pursed in focus.

“Harry, you’re going to set the whole house on fire,” you teased from the couch, wrapping your blanket tighter around you.

He turned, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, dimples deepening. “I’m a man of many talents, love, but burning down our first Christmas isn’t one of them.”

You rolled your eyes, but your heart fluttered at the way he said “our first Christmas,” like it was something to be cherished, something important.

Harry got up and dusted his hands off, his emerald green sweater slightly askew, revealing a sliver of his collarbone. He crossed the room and sat beside you, his arm snaking around your shoulders as he tugged you against him.

“You’re freezing,” he murmured, pulling the blanket over both of you.

“Maybe because someone made me wait outside in the snow for fifteen minutes while he picked out the perfect tree,” you teased, nudging him with your elbow.

“It had to be just right,” he said, faux-serious. “Our first tree should be special.”

You laughed softly, tilting your head to look at him. His curls were messy, catching the light from the fire, and his eyes seemed to glow.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours. “And yet, here you are,” he whispered, his voice low and teasing.

Before you could respond, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, his hand cupping your cheek gently. The kiss was warm, unhurried, and it felt like everything a first Christmas kiss should feel like—comforting, sweet, and full of promise.

When he pulled back, his gaze lingered on you, soft and full of something you couldn’t quite name but felt all the same.

“Harry,” you began, but he cut you off, reaching into his pocket.

“I wanted to give you this,” he said, pulling out a small velvet box. Your breath hitched as he handed it to you, his fingers brushing yours.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a ring,” he said quickly, though there was a teasing glint in his eyes. “I mean, not yet.”

You opened the box to find a delicate gold necklace with a small charm—a tiny snowflake encrusted with a single diamond.

“Harry…”

“I saw it and thought of you,” he said softly. “Unique, beautiful… and maybe just a little too perfect for me.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you set the box down and hugged him tightly. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Well, now you’re stuck with me. At least until the tree comes down.”

You laughed, leaning into him as the fire crackled softly. Outside, the snow continued to fall, but inside, everything felt warm and bright, just as Christmas was meant to be.

[btskitty17]

The Yandere Doll Walks Free at Christmas 🪽 pt. 1 Wishlist

(Jungkook X Reader Series)

Pt. 1 :Wishlist

"I understand that you filled out a Toybox application form, requesting a boyfriend?” She really had had been too much of a good girl. But the last thing that she had expected was to actually end on the top of the Nice list on Christmas Eve and get exactly what she had asked for…or not. As she grows increasingly fond of his pattering presence in the background, she begins to ponder whether a present from Santa Claus is supposed to possess such a darkly dominant disposition, which only begins to expose itself bit by bit.

pt. 2 get ya pt. 3 cinnamon

main masterlist

genre: slight humour, dark fantasy au ୨୧

🪽 ongoing (10-ish parts of 1-2k words throughout December 🎅🎄✩ ₊˚🦌⊹♡❆⛄)

warnings: jungkook x fem! reader (insert any name of your choice), yandere behaviour displayed by the male main character: possessive, controlling + clingy tendencies, eventual smut, seemingly chaste fantasy with a sinister twist

🎄~ ୨୧ 🎄~ ୨୧ 🎄~ ୨୧

Even though ___ was swamped with work, she could not ignore that the air was scented with festivity.

The final rendition of her non-fiction manuscript was due right after the holidays, and it was the promise of a publishing deal from a prestigious academic think-tank that propelled her to work throughout her Christmas break and only see her family and friends at dinner parties. Her book was framed as a commentary on contemporary socio-political subcultures and consisted of the findings from her research work which spanned over four years. Was she going to be the next Joan Didion? Or perhaps, a likeness of Susan Sontag? Who’s to say, but she surely liked fantasising along these lines.

As snow settled on the windowpanes of her house and Christmas pop songs drifted from her neighbour’s balcony, ___ made herself a cozy setup with multiple blankets, and continued typing away at her laptop, occasionally sipping from her reindeer-themed coffee mug. Ever the workaholic, ___ was going to spend Christmas Eve shut into her apartment, and obsessively read and reread her research proposal, check the index sheet associated with her project and the revise statistics that she had painstakingly put together. Despite her best efforts, she could not find a flaw. And yet, it was too early to call it a night, so she scrolled through her social media as a Hallmark movie calmly played on her flatscreen, tapping hearts on the array of photographs of her friends’ holiday nighttime rituals of eggnog-drinking, reels of their party tricks, exorbitant decorations and their recent vacations to Cabo, to Mallorca and other seemingly exotic destinations, ___ could not bring herself to envy her friends’ international getaways: she was just far too busy to break free from her routine.

___ knew she that wanted more from life than just grading papers as a teaching assistant while working on her PhD; there was a certain kind of solace that a classroom full of sulky nineteen-year-olds in an eight-thirty morning lecture was not going to grant her so she started volunteering at a children’s shelter earlier in the year and as days went by, they looked forward to her interacting with them, helping them with their homework, bringing them crayons, stickers, and at times takeaway junk food, which brought the kids joy and her, some much needed contentment. She had assisted the children in adorning their Christmas trees with candy canes, giant toffees,  miniature bells, Santa Claus masks and faux snow-streaks and even joined in on the custom of writing a letter to Santa along with them; despite feeling a bit silly, and upon being assured that no one was going to read hers, she scribbled that she hoped to have a boyfriend and stuffed it hastily in the red-and-white striped, cartoonish post-box located in the party-room of the children’s home.

 ___’s apartment had been scrubbed clean with the utmost attention-to-detail and she had draped decorative red and green lights around the windowpanes. The Christmas tree standing tall in her living room, gleamed with trinkets like golden and silver baubles, clusters of ribbons, and large red bows; her favourite ornament was the decade-old mini-Edward Cullen figurine, a memento of her teenaged Twilight obsession, peeking from the canopy of the tree. She could be merry after all, despite everything on her to-do list. After a dinner of soup and butter-garlic sticks, __ drifted off to sleep nestled by her soft-pink quilt as Christmas carols wafted in the distance. 

The morning of Christmas was bitingly cold, catalysed by fresh snowfall; ___ shuddered upon waking up, as she pulled a woollen cardigan over her torso and decided that a mug of spiced coffee ought to be the perfect to start to her holiday and headed towards the kitchen.

The sight of her Christmas tree brought ___’s feet to an abrupt halt as an involuntary gasp left her lips. A giant box awaited her in the living room. “Doll,” the label on it seemed to say simply. A man, around her own age, seemed to be enclosed within it, staring at her, with an uncanny, unblinking gaze, ___ wanted to shriek and scream; there was a peculiar present in her living room, and a man she had never seen before, tied up all pretty with ribbons, delivered inside a cardboard gift box nonetheless, but she could not bring herself to either move or scream; ___  felt as if she could be dreaming, given that there was a handsome yet creepy being standing beneath the golden star placed atop her Christmas tree. Who was he and why was he in a box? And who let him have such a graceful, neat entrance into her house?

“What?” ___ finally managed to squeak out.

“It is your delivery from Santa Isle… I understand that you filled out a Toybox application form, requesting a boyfriend?” The man inside the box spoke up at last, sensing her disbelief.

“I did not order anything… Wait, wait, how did you get in?”

“There is an elaborate process that is followed; the gift delivery services of Santa Isle possess absolute accuracy and we have our own undisclosable ways of reaching the destination, which in this case, was your residence. I am certain an order has been placed for a boyfriend; I am meant for you, otherwise I never would have been sent to this part of the world.” his way of speaking was extremely lucid though his voice was a low droll of molten honey.

___ racked her brain to recollect when could she have possibly filled a form for a present like this and thought about the possibility of an ethereal landscape called Santa Isle, and the way this doll-box was magically inserted under her Christmas tree. She soon began to question her sanity.

“Not everyone is privileged to receive exactly what they have mentioned on the form… There are mechanisms through which we monitor’s the applicants’ good deeds, and you, have been awarded the top spot in your province; I have skimmed your file, it said that you have dedicated this year to children’s welfare endeavours, thereby creating a rightful place for yourself on the Nice list and thus, deserving of anything that you wish for on Christmas.”

“You all are collecting my data without my knowledge?”

“Isn’t everyone?” he snickered; his face came into focus after her initial haze of perplexity....

The so-called doll was clad rather gentlemanly in an immaculate two-piece tuxedo; his wide doe-eyed gaze and arched eyebrows made him seem perpetually amused at something and his facial features, albeit innocent, wore the armour of a mature expression, like a baby cosplaying a warrior; her questions remained unanswered despite the fact that he was so sure of the legitimacy of his presence in a gift-box under her Christmas tree.

“I realise that you might be bewildered but you were the only applicant who requested a human relationship… you wrote down that you desired to have a boyfriend, a wish that would now be fulfilled by me, a Santa Isle worker; the other people at the children’s shelter had wished for video games, comic book-sets, and so on…” he attempted to explain, observing the confused scowl cemented on her face. It was Christmas after all, she should not be frowning.

“Are you implying that the post-box at the children’s shelter named Little Smiles possesses a direct portal to Santa’s Isle? What are you even talking about… how is any of this real?”

“I can understand your disbelief but, there are many realms in this world that you might be unaware of. We have a radar that monitors needy children’s wish-lists and we leave them anonymous packages with the items that they have wished for around Christmas every year…Contrary to popular belief, there is a Santa and he is hard at work… you happened to insert your own list along with the children, and we here, at Santa Isle, fulfil each and every wish that we come across.”

“What do you mean? Is Santa your boss? I am having a hard time believing that I am not the centre of a prank-based reality television show…and even more shocked by your ability to get into the house…How did that happen? Another one of Santa’s miracles?”

“I am not a criminal, if that is what you are thinking. Could you please unbox me? That plate of cookies looks ever so delicious and I have been waiting for you to wake up since midnight so…”

___ stepped forward furtively, eyeing the doll-man, man-doll, overgrown doll? What was he, an adult toy? Wait that sounds wrong, ___ thought.

___ extended her hand to unfurl the pink ribbon garlanded around the giant, transparent toybox as he looked on with anticipatory eyes; as soon as the ribbon was undone, he began to step outside the box: turns out that the unboxing was a mere ceremonious activity, he could have been outside this whole time if he wanted to, but it was the recipient’s right to unwrap the present on Christmas morning.

“Jungkook Jeon.”

“Um?”

“My name is Jungkook and I am assigned to be your boyfriend. But there are some activities that have been listed on my agenda that have to be conducted with you before you can bestow that title on me,” Jungkook stated in the most placid of tones, as if he was there to carry out the simplest of tasks: doorstep boyfriend.

“What sort of activities are you insinuating? Listen I will ring up the apartment building’s security right now if you pull something funny, I swear I do not look like it but I am capable of kicking you back to --,” ___ rambled in an exasperated state, even more confused now.

“Activities like going to dinner and playing recreational games! Why are you suspecting me and threatening me with violence with each and every step that I take?” Jungkook’s voice was now raised a bit, flustered by this impossible customer, who was putting his reputation as the Santa Isle worker with the most golden stars (a token of appreciation) for his service-delivery, at risk.

___ scanned Jungkook from head to toe; he was glorious in his formal wear whilst she was yelling at him with a mismatched set of a tank top and floofy pyjamas on, secured by an ancient, lint-laden fraying cardigan: a clothing article that she only kept because of its sentimental value as it not did not do much to keep her warm, rendering her a quivering, blathering mess. Jungkook’s ocean-wide eyes were fastened on her being, watching out for further explosive reactions but he had worn her down, the girl just wanted her morning cup of coffee; she was tired of overanalysing the situation and questioning the existence of Santa Claus’ secret city. Or was it a factory? She will have to ask Jungkook.

Jungkook was not average-looking by any means; he was a doll, that was for certain, ___ she thought. The structure of his body was burly, his fairly large built was evident as he loomed several inches above her; ___ was surprised by his ability to fit into the box that now lay opened on the floor. His crisp white shirt clung to his well-formed biceps and broad shoulders, a contrast to the fabric cinched around his narrow, narrow waist. Nevertheless, this beautiful being was practically an alien for her.

“You are shivering,” Jungkook spread out his arms and drew ___ into his unexpected embrace.

“What are you doing?” ___’s twitching and thrashing was no match for Jungkook’s athletic arms.

“I would be a failure as a boyfriend if I let you shake like a leaf in the wind on my very first day here," Jungkook spoke with a gentle pout.

___ could feel Jungkook’s gaze cutting into her, as he enfolded her in the tightest hug he could possibly dole out.  ___ discerned the rhythmic thrum of his heart with her back against his strong chest and her senses were clouded by his scent, which was a concoction of dark chocolate and musk, a combination that she found brought her an immense and indescribable oceanic calm, as if all her anxieties were rolling into the sea-waves and away into a sunset; all her defences against him seemed to momentarily collapse. He was humming a pop-duet which was currently deemed a chartbuster, and his way of singing made it sound like a tranquil lullaby; his enormous palms were running circles around ___’s nearly bare shoulders as her cardigan slipped from her frame. Jungkook bore the warmth of a fireplace, it seemed, ___ could no longer tell that it was even snowing outside.  

___ was almost lulled to sleep, when she felt Jungkook lower his face and let his soft lips wander to nape of her neck: an action which broke the trance she was in and made her eyes snap open as she jerked her face away from Jungkook with indignance burning within her irises; this was inappropriate.

“How dare you? You are not my boyfriend!” she bellowed.

Jungkook was staggered by ___’s sudden shouting, and her denial of the very label which defines him at the moment: boyfriend, she was his, rightfully so; a pitch-black look overcame his otherwise innocent features, and the formal yet genial smile that he had been wearing till now also dissipated, leaving behind a cold stare which had now claimed ___ as its victim.

To be continued ⊹

(will update my main masterlist with newer parts as i write, thank you for reading 🎀)

DISCLAIMER  This is a work of fanfiction with the BTS members as characters; I do not claim ownership to the aforementioned characters. This fanfiction has been written solely for entertainment.

© @btskitty17 on tumblr 2024

~ ୨୧ ♡ · ₊

[antinitoniny]

santa doesn't know you like i do

"i wonder if santa could bring a whole damn 6ft man this midnight" you said, pouring yourself another glass of red wine.

"...is that what you wished for this christmas?" anton, your best friend asked. he seems concerned & LOOKS concerned.

"i mean, i can't really think of anything i want for christmas except for an intelligent, hot, athletic, 6foot man to ruin my 2025." you said

you & anton have been friends since your womb era considering the fact that both of your parents have been friends for decades.

your friendship is basically fixed & y'all can't do anything about it anymore. proven & tested when you tried to cut him off during elementary after stabbing his arm with a pencil but you found each other in one dining table the next evening.

now that your parents wanted some time to themselves, the "kids" are left to take care of the house this christmas eve.

now, you're sitting on the couch next to anton, trying to figure out how the hell would santa fit in the chimney.

"you brought the cookies out, didn't you?" you asked, checking the table near the tree.

"for santa? are we seriously gonna do that?" anton asked, looking at you like you're some 5-year-old.

"um, no? it's for my future husband that he's bringing over." you rolled your eyes jokingly.

"what did you wish for anyway?" you asked

"i wished for someone to like me back" anton said, sitting back comfortably, looking at the ceiling.

silence.

anton waited for your response but you weren't saying anything. curious (and nervous), anton looked at you to check your reaction.

there you are, spacing out.

"what's on your mind?" anton asked, popping your lil bubble.

"how the hell would santa grant that? it's not like he can put that in a box & leave it under the tree" you said

anton laughed loudly for a minute or two which made you think that he's going insane.

anton, on the other hand, found your thoughts funny. he expected you to tease him about his lil crush or ask him about who it is. but instead, you were worrying about santa.

"i can't think of anything else. plus, i don't really believe in santa." anton replied

silence.

but this time, it was because the conversation was done. silence has never been awkward with anton which is mainly why you've learned to love anton's company.

his presence doesn't make you worry about what you're gonna say next nor how you're gonna continue the conversation. you can just exist in one place in silence & it can be the best hours of your day.

"what exactly did you write to santa?" anton asked, looking at you. for some reason, you felt nervous to look back & engage in eye contact so you stared at the tree.

"good morning, santa. if i'm on your good kid list, i'd like to have a good company for christmas. preferably a 6ft man in his 20s, smart, nice, soft spoken, family oriented, athletic, and hot. thank you, santa. merry christmasㅡ with a bunch of hearts" you recited from your memory.

"that's basically me" anton whispered

"huh? are you badmouthing me on christmas?" you raised your brow

"i said that your wish is not that specific" he said sarcastically.

"santa observed me for years as a good kid, he knows me & he knows my type" you rolled your eyes jokingly at him

"i've been with you for more than a decade, i think i know you more than santa" anton mindlessly replied

"your point being?" you asked

anton gulped. he doesn't know what he's going to say & confessing to his longtime crush is definitely not part of his 2024 bingo card.

"that i'm more than qualified than santa in fulfilling your wish" anton said confidently, succeeding in hiding his nervousness (at least in his end)

"i don't think any of your friends fit the criteria" you said, lowkey hoping that anton will offer himself

"i do" and he did

"huh?"

"i fit your criteria, don't i? am i not enough as a christmas gift?" anton teased, leaning over to your side of the couch. anton's confidence grew once he saw how flustered you are.

"hahaha what are you saying? stop it hahahaㅡ i wonder if they're home? i'll checkㅡ" you said, standing up to go to the front door. your face is obviously heating up from the unexpected turn of events.

"i like you" anton interrupted you. you stood frozen to your spot, looking at anton who's already looking at you.

"i love our little moments together like how we spent hours just walking around town last weekend, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. you make the most random things feel important." anton smiled while recalling your little moments together. you couldn't help but smile as well.

"it's the way you laugh at your own jokes, even when no one else does. it's honestly one of my favorite things. you'll say something dumb, then look at me with that "I know it was bad but I’m laughing anyway" expression, and I’ll always laugh too, because I get it. " anton said, slightly teasing you. you rolled your eyes jokingly, chuckling of how accurate he is as if he has read your mind during those moments.

"also, right, you've always hated wearing those big jackets in the winter, but I know you’d never leave the house without it because someone else might be cold. i mean, you always let someone borrow your jacket without a second thoughtㅡyou act like it’s no big deal, but I know it’s because you don’t mind being a little uncomfortable if it means someone else feels better." anton continued.

his words warmed your heart. you didn't know that he noticed that.

"is that why you always wear two jackets and i somehow find a magic jacket on my shoulder?" you laughed

"yeah, and you always tease me about how dramatic i am for wearing two jackets." anton sighed

"you could've just made me hold the other jacket just in case" you said

"you hate holding stuffㅡ it's always ME who's holding your bag anywhere" anton quickly rebutted which made you zip your mouth.

anton chuckled and continued.

"anyway, i admire your perspective on different things & how you view people. it's like, no matter how messy the situation looks, you always manage to find the good in it. you see beauty in the things other people might miss, like how you can walk through a crowded street and notice a little detail, like the color of someone’s shoes or the way a kid is laughing, that makes everything feel lighter. " he said.

"there’s something about the way you move through the world—so real, so unbothered, but always with purpose—that makes me want to be better too."

anton said, looking at you sincerely.

"i can’t help but fall more for the person you are when no one’s looking. I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, you became someone I want to know more, be more, and be with." anton said, walking closer to you.

"so.. merry christmas?" anton laughed the awkwardness off.

"i don't know what to say, i'm really bad at words" you said, tearing up

"obviously, i'm aware. you're not obligated to say anythingㅡ i just wanted toㅡ i just felt likeㅡ" anton's words were soon interrupted by you.

"i love you. like, fuck it, i stabbed you with a pencil when we were 7 because i was sad because you didn't like me" you confessed. you were so close to crying because of anton's words and anton just stood there, laughing his ass off.

"you're pretty violent..." anton said, acting so offended

"h-heyㅡ"

"i'm sorry for the late confession. i should've known." anton suddenly said. he was about to say more but you immediately interrupted him with a hug.

"...maybe i should start believing in santa" anton chuckled, burying his face on your neck.

"merry christmas, ant." you said, breaking the hug to look at him.

"oh my god. thank you, santa" anton said, completely taken away by your beauty & by the thought of how the situation escalated to this.

you laughed at how chaotic he is. the anton you love, the anton you've loved that seemed to have never changedㅡ and you're glad that he didn't.

"i actually wrote your name on my santa wishlist" you confessed

"good to know. after all, santa won't give you somebody that loves you more than me".

[onehellofanedgy]

HC: After learning what Christmas is, it became his favourite season.

Merry Christmas y'all :D I am here yet again with more of Mr. crawling bc he has my undivided atenttion. Something I heard he doesn't get in his world sooo

[ronandreams]

hi darlings! ✨️ happy holidays! ❄️ interacting with you guys has been so much fun this year. i feel closer to a lot of you (especially those i've been mutuals with for 8+ years; you guys are amazing for that). i'm also so grateful for the new mutuals i've made this year (more than usual, yay!). thank you all so much for interacting with my edits, sending me messages, playing tag games with me, and making my dash beautiful. you guys remind me i'm not alone, and there's someone (more than one) who understands me. thank you! 💖 if i've tagged you here, please know i love you, you are wonderful, and you've made at least one person happy (me lol). forgive me if i forgot to tag some of you, i get so confused with url changes 🙈 but you know ily! i'm wishing you the best this holiday. you did an amazing job this year; be proud :)

i hope 2025 will be a better year for us all. you guys deserve the very best 💕mutuals tagged below the cut! ❤️💚❤️💚

a - c

@abernathaes ♡ @andialmostdo ♡ @aino-minakos ♡ @angelamcss ♡ @aredhels ♡ @bellameblake ♡ @biilpotts ♡ @bruceewayne ♡ @buchananjames ♡ @buckybarsn ♡ @burke-juliet ♡ @buyingorangejuice ♡ @carpenter-sabrina ♡ @carveredlunds ♡ @carriefisher ♡ @coffee-in-europe ♡ @coldasyou ♡ @cavarage ♡ @crowleyaj ♡ @cyborg-cinderella ♡

d - j

@danystargaryens ♡ @davinaclaires ♡ @diegoshargreevs ♡ @eightiesharrington ♡ @elenas ♡ @favroitecrime ♡ @felicitykings ♡ @finnickodaiir ♡ @firstfallofsnow ♡ @golden-loves ♡ @halfmoonshines ♡ @halfstayed ♡ @haillily ♡ @harmoon ♡ @heartwasglass ♡ @hellshee ♡ @henrywinteris ♡ @hibiskooks ♡ @ianmitchells ♡ @imaginearyparties ♡ @jakeperalta ♡ @jjameslily ♡ @jeaanmoreau ♡ @jeanmoreaux ♡ @joequinns ♡ @juliet-ohara ♡

k - n

@kahans ♡ @laurabenanti ♡ @leaiorganas ♡ @lookforanewangle ♡ @lucybaird ♡ @luucydacus ♡ @magbane ♡ @masiepeters ♡ @misswift ♡ @munsonseds ♡ @mybrightstar ♡ @my-lover ♡ @natromanovs ♡ @neverfindmegone ♡ @nightlock ♡ @nonsensechristmass ♡ @nordstars ♡

o - z

@obsessedx ♡ @ohmoriartea ♡ @padme-amidala ♡ @penelope-garcia ♡ @queens-clarke ♡ @riccis ♡ @samwinchcster ♡ @scorpiussmalfoyy ♡ @sherlockig ♡ @shipmvn ♡ @slyhtherins ♡ @spiteslucanis ♡ @stevebcks ♡ @strikingjann ♡ @sunflowervol6 ♡ @swkywalker ♡ @tayloralison ♡ @teamred ♡ @thepinkscale ♡ @tommensbaratheons ♡ @tonytoponi ♡ @tornadocowboy ♡ @userhalsey ♡ @userlorelai ♡ @visenyatargaryen ♡ @waddinghamhannah ♡ @waxladrian ♡ @22s ♡

[flufflights]

𝗠𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀!

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff

Spending Christmas with your boyfriend (enhypen hyung line)

--------------------------------------------

Lee Heeseung:

Finally it was Christmas! This year's Christmas was special because it was the first time spending Christmas with your boyfriend.

As you and Heeseung stepped out of your cozy apartment your boyfriend took your hand, his touch warm. You looked up at him smiling. He smiled back as he gently pulled you closer.

“Are you ready for our special dinner?” he asked his voice warm.

“Absolutely! I can’t wait to see the restaurant” you replied your heart racing with excitement. As you walked hand in hand the world around you felt like a movie. Children laughed as they built snowmen and couples arm in arm.

You reached the restaurant.

“Table for two?” a waitress asked and your boyfriend nodded leading you to a table by the window.

While waiting for your food you talked and laughed about your favorite Christmas memories. He shared stories from his childhood and so did you.

After dinner you decided to walk through a nearby park.

As you walked, he pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m so glad to be spending this Christmas with you” Hesseung said.

“Me too,” you replied.

Finally as you reached your apartment he turned to you “Merry Christmas!” he said leaning in for a sweet kiss.

“Merry Christmas!” you said smiling.

Park Jongseong:

Finally, Christmas arrived. You and Jay were in the kitchen, cooking together. Once the last dish was prepared you both carried the steaming bowls into the living room.

You sat onto the couch wrapping yourself in a soft comfy blanket. Jay sat beside you and as you began to eat you gazed out at the snow gently falling outside covering the world in a beautiful white blanket.

Jay wrapped his arm around your shoulders pulling you close. Your head rested against his shoulder feeling his warmth.

“Merry Christmas!” he said looking down at you with a smile that lit up his face.

“Merry Christmas,” you replied grinning back at him your heart swelling with joy. In that moment everything felt perfect just the two of you cozy and content, savoring the magic of the holiday together.

Sim Jaeyun:

As Christmas arrived, you decided to go for a walk in the snow with Jake and Layla. Jake noticed your cold hand and took it warming it with his own as you walked.

You passed by a cozy little café. You looked up at Jake your eyes sparkling with excitement. “Jake can we go into the café and get a hot chocolate?”

He chuckled. “Of course!” he replied holding the door open for you.

You stepped inside the warm air wrapping around you like a cozy blanket. You sat down at a small table Jake sitting across from you. You ordered a hot chocolate and he a warm cup of coffee.

As you sipped your drinks the warmth spread through you and you couldn’t help but smile. Spending Christmas with Jake felt just to perfect.

Park Sunghoon:

It was your first time spending Christmas with your boyfriend, Sunghoon your excitement grew as you both walked through the Christmas market.

As you wandered hand in hand one stand caught your eye showcasing adorable Christmas ornaments and decorations. Sunghoon noticed your gaze lingering and pulled out his wallet with a warm smile. “Which one do you like?” he asked his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

You pointed at a cute little Christmas tree. “I like this one!”

Without hesitation, he bought it for you. You turned to him to hug him tightly and to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I love spending Christmas with you,” you said.

“Me too” he replied while smiling.

[hyukascampfire]

𝓐T 𝓢WA𝓝 𝓛AKE ﹐､﹒ c.bg ˏˋ੭ꠥ ¸ˎ

as both equals and opposites, white swan and black swan, it is paramount that you and choi beomgyu do not touch. the curse of your natures did not even make exception for incidental brushes. that was never an issue for you—not until the day the prince took it upon himself to break every rule you’d ever known. ⋆˛ ˛

⸺ listen to the playlist .ᐟ ‧˚

⸉⋆ ᧔ 🦢᧓ ･ 10.3k

𝒫airings ˒ black swan prince!beomgyu 𝓍 white swan princess!reader

𝒢 ‎⍪ smut ˒ fantasy ˒ forbidden romance

𝒲arnings ˒ smut, angst and longing, unprotected sex, lots of teasing, jealousy…, yearning and yearning, he cums on her, theyre both desperate, pathetically in love!beomgyu, shes all he wants, virgin!reader, loss of innocence, he talks her through it, he gets a little whiny… hmm i can’t remember if i’m missing anything. this is not proofread!! i’m gonna nap first.

✎୭ ashlynn's note @hmusunoo … baby you did your big one with this. i can not explain to you how excited i’ve been for this one. this is absolutely my favorite. it’s just so me, u know me so well and i think we should kiss. THANK U!

﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist

Around you, mist and delicate flurries sit over white, fluffy blankets. Where it sits over the lake, it turns the horizon of the lake’s expanse into an obscured uncertainty. If you hadn’t spent so much time right here, you might think that it goes on forever. 

It’s a beautiful, clear winter’s morning. Sparkling air wraps you in sweet and crisp tendrils, every breath to your lungs almost bitingly fresh. But in all its lightness, your chest only feels heavier. You had hoped that coming here would be a little, momentary respite. The air is so free around you, though, the weight doesn’t float away with it—it just leaves nothing but the feeling for you to contend with. No skittish wildlife rustle the foliage, and a thin film holds the crystalline lake from lapping at the bank. It seems that not even the wind moves. Just you.  

It’s not your tears that you hide here. Sadness is a soft, gentle thing; an acceptable thing for a Lady like yourself to indulge in. It’s what the people expect of their princess. The demure and always prim White Swan. Always correct, always just how you should be. 

Your tears are more like scalding, molten licks of fire than the slow, darling tears that are expected of you, though. They’re angry. It clashes up against the walls you’ve built up within yourself, against the role you’ve assumed. 

That’s why you’ve come here. Coarser emotions are unbecoming of you, and it’d be a shame to feel them in front of others. It’s a shame that you’re letting yourself feel it now, even. You summon a thin sigh, funneling up all the tangy bitterness on your tongue to let it fall out into the air before you. 

It doesn’t do much for you, really. This—feeling like this, so beyond the reach of your usual ways to shove down ugliness—is unfamiliar. Your entire life has been this, why do you struggle with it now? In the center of you, mingling with that anger, it’s as though a blackness blooms. Like a wretched flowering of some invasive plume, or perhaps the floating of inky black feathers through your bloodstream, you feel painted dark and unpleasant. 

Holding the dappled fur of your shawl closer, you decide to watch chunks of crystal white ice float on the water’s surface. Or maybe the on-and-off snowflakes that float down around you. Even tracing the lengths of barren branches, lined with white fluff so still and serene, with your eyes. Anything but delving into what that tainted tug inside is, or what it might mean about you.  

Snow crunches, or maybe a branch shifting, beckons your attention. But the foliage isn’t too thick, and trees are sparse around the lake, and there is always some small winged creature fluttering between branches out here. So, you brush it off. 

A tingling about your person, some sort of whispering premonition, whisps and tugs just around your person. You straighten up at another thick step crunching in the snow from behind you. This time, you can’t explain it away.  

A figure greets you. Dark, raven strands of silken hair fallen over eyes of the same, his skin so stark against it, black shoulder cloak on his shoulder flowing like velvet water against his billowing sleeves all ruffled and enamoring. He glitters like the frost, twinkling silver threads and black crystals sewn in to catch the light and make a show of him. Standing there, looking at you, he doesn’t look caught or frozen. 

But you are. Wholly still, all of you like a sculpture of frost, you gawk right at him. You’d never interacted with the prince, the black swan. Never even seen him. It was never in the cards. Fear like ice curls clawed fingers over your heart and grasps it.  

All your life, grand warnings of terrible things of him and what might happen should the two of you ever touch fell from the mouths of those around you. It was the constitution of who the two of you are—born to be the balance to each other, never to touch. Just an incidental brushing of fingers meant turning the world’s balance over on its head. They told you that the world would begin to fray at the seams, reality would warp, and that it’d be all your fault. And they also told you plenty about who the prince was as a person, too. Not only do you fear him for the curse of your nature, but also for all the nasty things you’ve heard of him. This, meeting him, was a thing of your deepest-cutting nightmares. 

And, there, he stands in front of you. 

“What are you doing out here crying?” Beomgyu says, curious eyes darting over your face. Under his gaze, you’re not sure how to feel. But you feel every last bit of it, regardless. 

You wipe at your cheek, where he must’ve seen the wet streaks glistening in the light. Summoning some poise up from where you keep it in handy, you say, “It’s no matter. I was just looking out on the snow.” You fix up your hair and your dress.  

The prince frowns, studying your face once again. Utterly unconvinced by what he finds there, he gestures toward you. “You’ve been crying, princess,” he says. “I didn’t think that lying was in the cards for you.” 

Lying? Not in the cards for you? Lying is all you do. You lie to yourself and to others more than you are honest. “Maybe, but I’m well,” you say, and then you lift the soft skirts of your dress to step without treading it in the snow. “Really, I ought to get home before the snowfall gets heavier. It was lovely seeing you.” You try and make sure to keep a good and proper distance from him as you make for where you arrived here from. 

Beomgyu reaches out for you, only pulling back from grabbing your arm at a frighteningly slim realization. “Wait,” he says, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he realizes what he’d almost just done. “You don’t have to leave. Why is it that you cry?” 

He’d almost touched you. That close—you’d come that close to tragedy in only the first moments of your meeting. Your heart pumps out sizzling, frantic energy that has you looking at him wide-eyed and shaken. “I think you and I both are the most aware why it’s best that I leave,” you tell him, keeping it curt. You hold your arms to you.  

Strong brows knitting, he shakes his head and stakes some big steps back. The snow, sat powdery and calf-high on the ground, creaks beneath them. “I’ll stay back here,” he says. “Just don’t go. Won’t you entertain me? It’s a gentleman’s duty to help a weeping Lady.” 

You falter. The words might have you blushing and offering him a modest thank you, but the way he says it—it’s rather taunting. It’s taunting in a way that gets right up under your skin and ruffles your feathers. “And why does it bother you so?” you ask him, arching a dainty brow. You’re not even sure why he’s come out here in the first place. This is the one place that you ordain your own. It seems that not even here can you be totally alone. “They’ll have a fit if they know I was here with you.” 

The prince, with his clear, ethereal features cracking into a wicked amusement that you’re not sure how to digest, says, “Perhaps they will.” He tilts his head at you, wispy strands of hair moving over his shadowed eyes with it. “But, princess, that’s the fun in it. That they will admonish you for it. Is that why you’re crying?” 

Fun? Nothing about what your people, your parents, might do should they find that you’d not only been near but spoken to the black swan, is fun. You level him wary eyes. And, though sense tugs at your feet and asks you to get going, you do not. You do not know why. 

“I think it is.” He’s got an obnoxious tilt to his lips. “I think that’s why you cry.” 

A scoff, an abrasive and distasteful sound coming from you, falls out from your mouth. There’s that awful imprudence and temerity that you’ve heard of the black swan—everything you ought not to be. “You seem the type to know everything,” you say. 

He laughs, delighted. “Is that snark?” 

Pursing your lips as though confused, you spin spiced threads of patronization into your voice. “Not snark,” you say. “Just an observation.” 

 “Hmm.” Beomgyu slides his hands into his pockets to warm his hands. “Might I make an observation about you, princess?” 

There’s interest written all over his face—you know he’s playing some sort of game. You also know that you shouldn’t indulge him in it. Still, you do. A slight raising of your brow, or maybe the interest twinkling in your eyes, too, tells him to go on. 

“I think that you are too dutiful for your own good,” he says.  

In a slight, testy step, he inches closer. Not so close that you worry, but the two of you are not even supposed to be in the same room. Anything is too close. You mirror it with a step back. “You don’t know me,” you say. Against your better judgement, though, your lips twitch into a soft smile. The kind of smile that is insistent, no matter how you refuse it. “So, I believe your wonderings to be entirely groundless.” 

Hair blowing gently in the wisps of a winter wind and his nose and cheeks gone pink, he says, “Oh, princess. Hardly. I think we know a great deal about each other.” 

Well, that’s true enough. All your life you heard of him and your curse. You’re sure it was no different for him, no matter your differences. “And what do you know about me?” you ask.  

Beomgyu’s laugh falls out in a white puff of curling frost. “I know it’s been arranged that you’ll marry a superior Lord,” he says. He observes you. “Am I right?” 

So fast, just with that, lightness falls from your face. You hadn’t wanted to be reminded. Your feet itch to be off, so that you can feel it elsewhere. Not here; not in front of him. Leveling yourself so that your voice doesn’t come out as stilted as you feel, you say, “Yeah. You are.” 

With his eyes narrowing on you, he says, “You know, it’s weird. I’ve never seen a girl excited to be wedded look like that when it’s brought up.” 

You reign in your face and shake your head. “I am perfectly excited. It’s a blessing to be married into such a family.” As much as you smooth over the furrowing of your brows, or make your expression pleasant, it’s not so easy to tame the picking of your fingers. 

Anything other than excited, you might be. But absolutely not that. In fact, you are beyond yourself with anger, and you have nowhere to go with it. It bubbles hot just under your skin and demands a release that you cannot give. 

Being who you are, it’s been a truth you’ve known your whole life. Someday, you were going to be offered like a shiny, silver pawn to the highest bidder. And you, as the world’s white swan, are quite the enticing thing to own. You thought you’d banished the hope for a union of love right where you’d left the sense of self behind: years ago. The time’s come now, but you aren’t as at peace with it as you should be. No matter how hard you try, you are more human than you’d like to be, and far too human to be what the world expects you to be. 

If you’re going to be frank with yourself: you do not want to marry him. Living as something bought, expected to live forever as this mellowed out, poised version of yourself by the side of some man who you don’t even know or love... Of any fate you might be made to live, you think that this one is the worst. 

Beomgyu begins working on taking off his jacket, a white and pretty thing with thick, winter fabric. He offers it to you. “You don’t have to lie to me about it. Maybe them, but not me.” 

You look between him and his offering hand—his perfect features that are so elegant, and yet, there’s a wildness to him in those hard black eyes. If you didn’t already know so much about him, you might still be able to see the untamed in him. Who couldn’t? He wears it plainly; without remorse. You’re not sure how to interact with it, but, in a way, you envy him. 

Reaching out, you accept the jacket from his hand. Tentatively, with great care so as to avoid touch, but you do.  

It’s nice and soft against your frost-kissed shoulders. But it’s not enough to fix the bite against the skin on your face, so you trudge through the snow over to the sparse tree line, where the trunks might protect you better from it than the flat expanse of the lake’s surface. You press your back to a tree, and he mirrors it on the tree opposite to you. Looking over the great lake, so very serene. It twinkles with an ice film like sugar crystals atop its surface. “I guess I’m just... scared,” you say. The words come out soft and uncertain. 

He nods. Listening. So, you continue. “I don’t even know him. I haven’t spoken to my betrothed once. Maybe I’ll get to know him, and maybe he won’t be bad, but...” 

“But he’s not who you want,” Beomgyu says. “Not who you love.” 

Licking your winter-chapped lips, you eye him for a moment. You nod slowly and say, “...Yeah. I suppose it’s selfish, but...” 

Ignited, Beomgyu pushes off the tree to say, “Selfish? You give your whole life to being their saint. Maybe they think they do, but they don’t own you.” 

You, not us. Frowning, you ask him, “Are you not set for some marriage of convenience?” Marrying is different as a woman, but you don’t doubt that the prince’s family intends to strengthen alliances by offering his marriage up to some optimistic, lesser family with a daughter to bargain the way yours has done with you. Every last girl and boy born as you two have been—destined to a life bigger than yourself, a force in the world as much as you are a person—have lived just the same. All of them. Each incarnation of the white swan, and you’re sure every black swan too. The people of this world paint you as embodiments of balance and life, but use you more like power plays. Even your own parents. You were born from your mother all the same as all your siblings, but as much as it aches to admit it, you are not their child. In the back of your throat, hurt and bare anger wells up thick. 

He half laughs, half scoffs. “They could try. It doesn’t matter to me. They’d have to kill me before I do their bidding. Is it our fault that we were born this?” he says. “I’m going to live my life how I want, no matter what.” 

You tuck your hands into your sides, where they warm between the jacket and your body heat. His words and how he looks at your lives, it’s everything you’re not. Sense of self and determination to live for more than just your predetermined role—while you’d surrendered it all, he lives thrashing and fighting against it. A product of your mirrored and opposite natures.  

“Why?” you say, teeth chattering a bit under the cold’s caress. “You have a girl in mind?” 

That sounds nice. Being so hopefully devoted to someone, and them to you, that you might war against destiny for it. The thought only nurses hurt somewhere deep in your chest, though. Not for you. Never for you. You could be the prettiest on this Earth, the kindest, the most disciplined, or the least even. Still, that would never be yours. You know that, so why does it taste so bitter?  

A quick look, something new, passes over him. In his eyes, you see it. He looks at you for a long minute, the morning so quiet that nothing but tranquility hangs in the air for a moment, and then finally says, “Yeah. Something like that.”  

Entirely intrigued, you ask, “Who? Is she a Lady?” 

Beomgyu nods his head, that strange look lingering. “Of sorts,” he answers, crossing his arms over his chest to lean back into the bark. “And your betrothed? Some well-off Lord?” 

A smile ghosts over your mouth. “Probably. I haven’t a clue who it is; but I’m sure he’s got enough coin to spare, if my parents settled on him.” 

The lines of his face gone playful, he says, “Not possibly more well-off than me.” 

Your nose crinkles. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you say. A husband with money is nice. You can’t pretend that you don’t think of that, especially that none of your family’s wealth belongs to you, nor will it follow you into your marriage. Your heart revolts regardless.  

Shrugging after a few beats of silent considering, he turns his attention on the lake. His face turned like that, you admire the straight slope of his nose and his eyelashes as they flutter with his heavy eyes. Like the rest of him, his side profile is a contradiction. Strong and noble, but elegant like hewn from marble. It’s perfect. With all the talk in your ears, you’d pictured something far off from the youthful, wry man stood before you. Why you’d come to imagine him brutish, you’re not sure; he’s as much swan as you. Different and mirrored all the same. 

“I used to come here all the time,” he says. 

“Here? To the lake?” You perk up. This had been your hideaway as a girl; where you’d come at times like this when you needed to bury something away. You thought it’d been just yours. “I wonder how we never ran into each other. I used to do the same. I guess, I still do.” 

When his eyes fall back on you, they’re softer. More deep brown than black, but maybe it’s because you’re closer now. He says, “Well, I came here once or twice on my own, maybe when I was five. I didn’t really start coming back until I saw you. You were crying, all snotty, and throwing bread out for some ducks.” 

Your face twists up, maybe at the memory or maybe with confusion. It seems like if he’d really come here so often, and had even seen you here, you’d have noticed. “You must have thought I was weird,” you say, the words coming out around a shiver.  

“Maybe,” he says through a wry smile that’s cracked over his lips. “But mostly, I just wished I could talk to you.” 

He’d watched you, because he couldn’t approach you? You were under the impression that the prince had never cared for the rules, not even one so paramount as that. But, it seems that his brashness came to him later. He stands in front of you now, doesn’t he? Maybe it was just that innocent trust that, as children, you levy out to those arounds you. Especially toward adults; and all of those had preached over moments like this. You imagine a young, curious Beomgyu, hiding himself away between bushes, itching to approach or play with you. But he never did; you hadn’t the slightest clue he’d even been there until now. Could you two have been friends, if not for the curse? 

“You never came out,” you say. “Or introduced yourself?” It’s all you can really think. 

His mouth twitches. “Would you have stayed?” 

No. Then, you don’t think you would’ve. Even now, you’re stricken with the innate fear of touching him, no matter how surprised you are at how different he is. Different from what they said he’d be. You think you would’ve darted, should you have known who he was. For some reason, that makes your heart ache. A dark ebbing wave of ache that you are unfamiliar with. 

A slight knowing smile danced over his features, eyes gone to sweet crescents that turn them, usually so dark, into something rounded. Not so abrasive. He tilts his head off to one side and says, “You’re freezing. How long have you been out here?” 

Cheeks long been numb, you answer, “An hour. Maybe and a half?” 

“I’ll walk you home.” 

You grimace. Arriving with him by your side, the man you quite literally were not supposed to even speak with, is the very last thing you should do. An awful idea. “I wouldn’t bother you. It’s probably not the best idea to show up after disappearing, with a man by my side. Especially not as a to-be-married woman,” you say. “But, thank you. Really.” 

He knows what you really mean, though. A muscle in his jaw feathers. “Alright,” he says. “I suppose we wouldn’t want that, would we?” 

As he begins to turn, making for wherever he’d come here from, you call out to him. “Hey, wait. Your jacket.” You pull it off your shoulders and joust it out at him. Against your skin which it had warmed, the air is bitterly cold. 

“Keep it, princess,” he says, giving you a parting nod. “Get home warm.” 

❆

Today, you are to give your hand to a man that you do not know.

In the air, the rich nuttiness of fire-toasted chestnuts dance and mingle with the roar of chatter. Hundreds of familiar and unfamiliar faces line long tables with runners decorated by platters of plump, sugar-dusted plums and fruit pies. They’ve all come in their winter’s best—whites and reds and luxurious furs lining thick, velvety fabrics or embroidered with sparkling threads and studded with crystals that twinkle in the low firelight. It’s warm and lovely and all just for you. 

But, you don’t feel any of that. All you feel is a heavy belly. Each smile you tug over your mouth feels like dead weight. You’re familiar with this—putting on the act. Smiling in faces that you know will turn around and have something else to say about you, pretending like you don’t know that it’s all false sweetness. You’d been trained in noble propriety since you could walk and talk. 

But, considering that they’ve all come here to shower you with gifts and lovely words for a marriage in which they could really not care about beyond how they make it a profit, it’s all a bit more sour. 

You’ve met your promised. The man you’re supposed to wed and spend the entirety of your life beside. You spoke with him for... what, two minutes? Two very awkward, very awful minutes. What should you have to say to each other? You’re meeting for the first time today. At your engagement feast. It’s a real conscious effort to not take your lip into your mouth and gnaw, or to not fuss over your hair, or honestly anything that might show these people that you are anything but pleased. 

So, you relent to their gaudy pleasantries. You listen to them tell you that it’s such a blessing to be married to a man of high society—and a wealthy one, too. They tell you that they knew your marriage would bring a great dowry; that all the white swans have. That they were watching and expecting it. All you hear is the dripping of greed; all you see is hungry eyes and fingers crossed behind backs. 

You relent to it until your stomach is sick and wrought with it. And then, the older lady ahead of you singing praises of your beauty, of how she wishes her daughter might catch the eye of a husband as advantageous as yours, does something out of the ordinary. Her eyes drift behind you, her snooty, pinched features twisting up into something new. You follow her gaze. 

Dark and beautiful and his eyes trained right on you, the black swan prince stands beside you. He’s lazed, a heavy cup of some thick, spiced and wintery drink in one hand, as he does. In the clear light of morning, he’d looked so out of place. But here, soft and hard planes of his face illustrated by the flickering orange firelight, he looks so right. 

You blink. And then blink again. Never once had Beomgyu made any sort of appearance at any hosted thing by your family. You just stand in place for a moment, registering his presence.

“You look lovely, princess,” he says. His eyes fall up and down you. The way he says it—it’s liquid smooth, but it’s taunting in a way. “The perfect image of a bride-to-be.”

He can’t be here. He can’t be here at all. When you look to the side, the woman is already gone. You have no doubt in your mind that she’s whispering in somebody’s ear right now.

“Prince,” you say, gritting your teeth while also dipping into an elegant curtsy. 

“Do you feel that way?” He raises his eyebrows at you, his gaze heavy with underlying tension. “A perfect bride? Happy?”

Making the conscious decision to not look around you, because you can already feel the burning interest of the eyes that you’ll find on you, you say, “I do. Isn’t this quite the feast?”

“I told you that you don’t have to lie to me, princess.”

You shouldn’t even be standing here talking to him. They’re all watching. Stepping back to cut conversation with something witty, you stop in the onslaught of a chorus of surrounding gasps.

Beomgyu had reached out to grab you, and only stopped himself short the same way he had the first time you met him. A muscle twitches in his jaw as he brings his hand down, curling the fingers as if to wash away the urge to reach out.

He’s closer now, too. His breath smells sickly sweet with the liqueur he drinks. A sarcastic grin over his lips, he says, “Did he pay for all this?”

You do a dance of give and take. You step back, and he meets it with a step toward you, all the way until you find yourselves in a quieter corner. “He did sponsor the feast, yes.”

“Well, isn’t that just great,” he says, voice carrying over the many layered sounds of the gathering. “And that makes you happy? You feel fulfilled by that? Is that the purpose of the lovely white swan?”

You’re not sure what he’s getting at, or why your marriage is any of his business. For some reason, though, despite those rational thoughts, some faraway memory whispers that it makes every bit of sense. “He is a lovely man.”

Barking a laugh, Beomgyu says, “Don’t make me laugh. You don’t believe that, no matter how many times you tell it to yourself.”

You curl your fingers into the obnoxious, glittering material of your dress. “Seriously, what makes you so sure?” you say. “What makes you so sure you know? This is good for me. This is the way things are supposed to go. Not everybody in this world can get away with serving only themselves and doing whatever they want. Maybe it works for you, but not for the rest of us. I’m glad your life is fun, though. Really.” 

His face doesn’t sharpen into offence, though you brace for him to. You’ve never spoken to anybody like that. Ever. Shaking his head, raven locks glowing warm around the edges, he says, “Because I know. I know. Are you listening to me? You don’t have to lie to me.”

Balking at him, you don’t know how to answer. That was nowhere near the answer you were expecting from the prince, known and notorious for his chaos and fire.

“I am listening,” you say, keeping your voice measured. Thick emotion slips through the seams. “Honesty has never done me any good. This is going to happen; all honesty is going to do is hurt me. So, I’m sorry.”

His mouth opens to fire something back, but you don’t hear it. Somebody digs their fingers into your upper arm, dragging you without a word away from your conversation. You stumble, letting them take you without a fuss. This was to be expected. You shouldn’t look back. If today was already going to be the last day you ever see him, it certainly is now that you’ve been caught not only in touching distance to him, but making conversation with him.

Tossing a self-betraying glace over your shoulder, you find his figure. Hand in pocket and his lips turned down, he watches you go.

You wish you wouldn’t have. You have no explanation for the emptiness it casts into your chest.

❆

Recently, you’ve been crying so much. You might believe that it’s because you’ve been letting yourself feel freely, but you don’t feel free.

Your palms are soaked against your cheeks, face fallen into them as you shudder with it. Their words pin and scrape in your head, forcing you to contend with them before bouncing off the walls and you hear them again and again until your stomach has gone sick. Your parents had given you an earful. That’s been your whole life; you can handle that. The moment you saw him there, intending to speak to you, you’d prepared for it. Instead, it was their contempt and sneering faces that bleed your heart like this. 

In this life, you are alone. Totally, wholly alone. Who you are—your role in life—is not the blessing they claim it to be. Is it selfish to ask to be understood? For somebody to just understand, without your pleading or begging?

Maybe. It feels that way, anyway.

“Why is it that I always find you crying?”

His voice freezes you to where you sit sprawled on your floor. Spinning to him, you say, “What are you doing?”

Beomgyu shrugs, as though he hasn’t snuck his way into your room. “I felt bad for getting you dragged off. Wanted to come see how you’re doing.”

Maybe his insisting on being around you should be annoying, but right now… You think you appreciate the company, even from the forbidden likes of him. “You can’t be here,” you hiss. “How did you get in? They’ll… if they find you here…”

His boots squeak against the polished flooring as he approaches you, and then settles down on the floor with you. The fire flickering behind him, his back to it, casts an orange light around the edges of his figure. He looks terribly inviting, like this: strewn on the floor, no holier or better than you, his face not sickly sweet nor cold and devoid of love, and his eyes curious to know how you feel. 

“I don’t care what they’ll do to me. I want to see you.” He tugs his jacket off, letting it fall on the dirty floor. Improper for a prince, but Beomgyu doesn’t care. That’s who he’s always been—that’s the one thing that was entirely true out of all the things you heard about him. “Who the hell cares about their approval? We don’t need it.”

You know what he means by they and we. Only a few days ago, you’d still believed that Beomgyu was other; that he was your total opposite, and that you should fear his darkness for all your lightness. All it’s taken is being around him the once or twice that you’ve been able to for you to realize the falsity that drips from that. When you’re around him, your soul, feathery and wispy in your chest and your veins and all the rest of you that constitutes you beyond what is physical, tugs. It’s impossible to ignore—it consumes you. Where your soul longs for him around the edges, like torn and searching for what’s been lost, you feel stuff that is beyond yourself.

Rather than your opposite, you think that Beomgyu is your other half. You think that they’ve gotten it all wrong. 

“How do you do it?” you say, back up against a white, whorling table leg. “How do you not care? I don’t understand.”

Inky eyes shining, he says, “I did. When I was young, I believed everything they told me. It’s hard not to, when it’s all you hear. Them, telling us that our purpose is to surrender ourselves to be something Saint-like. But when you catch one lie, you begin to catch the others, too. I saw their excuses and reasonings peel. Princess, it’s all lies. Everything you know is lies.” He says it with such conviction. Each and every word reaches down into that part of yourself that is missing something. “We’re not their Saints. That’s never been our purpose. I hate that shit; I hate that they’ve made you think that this is all you’re for. Marrying him? Never doing anything, because you’re scared of what it’ll mean for you? It’s not fucking fair.” He pushes himself closer to you. Now, your criss crossed knees are so close that a stray move might mean the world’s end. This time, you don’t panic. There’s no room for that among the swarm of your other thoughts. “So, of course I don’t give a shit about what they tell me to do. I’m going to live this life the way that it’s supposed to be. I wish that you could join me.”

“This life?” you blurt. It’s the one thought that appears clear to you, so it’s what comes out. Frowning, you add, “What lies?”

Deadpanned and as though he’s not delivering something that changes the world’s fabric around you, Beomgyu says, “There is no curse. There’s never been a curse.”

Your room is silent for a few moments, and then you shake your head and laugh. “How would you know that?” you say, nose wrinkling. If you don’t laugh, you’ll begin to actually consider the possibility of that. Just the very surface of the notion makes you nauseous. You couldn’t handle exploring the thought deeper. 

Beomgyu doesn’t laugh along with you. “The curse is a lie, and everything that comes with it. All of it is just excuses or justification for the hate for the other people. The whole reason that they ever decided on it was because of their hate. Maybe to the people alive now, it’s not a lie. But that’s what it started as.” His face, dark and soft as he reads your face, twists up. “Of course, we can touch. We are two halves of a whole. There is you in me, and I in you. Do you not feel it? The tug? That’s it. The black swan and the white swan were never meant to be apart and opposite. We are meant to be together. We’re meant to be the only ones that understand each other. It’s us against the world, princess.”

Your ears ring with the pierce of each word cascading out from his mouth. “Beomgyu, I don’t understand. That doesn’t… Make sense. How?” He can’t just make claims about that. Not something like this. It’s not fair.

“I know it’s hard to believe, princess. It’s all you’re ever made to believe. But you have to trust me. Do you trust me?”

Tongue darting out to wet your lips and your fingers stilling where you fuss at the fabric of your chemise, you take a good look at him. Roaming over his features, the contradiction in them and the strange familiarity that constitutes him no matter the fact that you’ve only just met, you consider it. Everything he says is absurd, and it does go against everything you’ve ever known. You should turn your nose up at him for even suggesting it; should suspect that he only has some sort of plan to coax you into bringing the world’s end.

But, you do. You trust him beyond explanation, as though intrinsically.

You nod slowly, holding his eyes in yours. “But I don’t understand,” you say. “How do you know?”

He smiles ruefully. “I saw something—had a dream when I was young. I saw us, in every last lifetime. We have lived again and again, as we are, in so many different ways. But the one thing that was always there was that they couldn’t keep us away from each other.”

The world does a few spins around you. Lightheaded, you try to stay up under the oppressive gravity of that. You want to stick your head in the ground and shake your head and yell no, but that deep tugging that has plagued you beginning the moment you’d met him, and all the emptiness before it, tells you yes. 

How poetic is that? How tragic? You, two souls born to be one, made to live apart at the interests of the world around you. Made to do it across every lifetime, and yet, in each you meet. In each, the twinkling thread of fate prevails nevertheless. 

“Do they all love?”

That soft smile still playing on his lips, his cheek to his knee as he looks at you with the veneration of somebody who might’ve loved you in a thousand lifetimes before, and perhaps in this one, too. “No. Some of us were secret lovers, but so many of those lived how you do for the entirety of their life. Halved,” he says. “And never did any of them touch.”

Heart fluttering with wings in your chest, you say, “So, how do you know that the curse is a lie? If it’s never been done before?”

“Let me show you,” he says. “That I can touch you.”

All the blood in your body pulls back. You trust him; you do. But is trust enough to risk a touch that could be the end of the world? Is trust enough to be so selfish to do so? 

Seeing you blanch, Beomgyu’s eyes go glassy. “Please,” he says, voice breaking as if to touch you might mean more than just proving something to you. As if the weight of everything he’s ever wanted rests on the back of it working—that if this works, and the world does not fall apart around you, then he can love you how he does, and how he had so many times before. Inevitably. “I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Beomgyu,” you say, looking between his eyes and the twitch of his hand as it itches to touch you. “I don’t… I’m scared.” Your voice drops to nothing more than a whisper.

“It’s okay,” he says, bringing that longing hand up. Your heart jumps when he raises up by your face. “You can be selfish this once. I want to see you do something because you want to, not because it’s what you think others might want.”

Your throat burns and tightens. Every last sparkling bit of your being longs to lean into his touch—to do what you two have wanted to do so many times before, and finally bring your souls back together. “What if it happens?” you ask, your eyes soft and true like an animal turning its soft underbelly to receive affection.

“Then let it,” he says. “At least we would have touched. Just this once.”

Gritting your teeth and swallowing hard, your belly does itself up into knots. You don’t answer him, but your quiet speaks enough. His hand hovers beside your face with the weight of the world in it.

The first touch of the white swan and the black swan happens in a gentle cupping of your cheek. And, the world does fall down around you. The walls melt, air leaves, and the seams of everything that’s even been good or true are ripped out and sewn with something new and beautiful. It’s as explosive and cosmic as you imagined it, but it is not terrifying. It’s lovely.

Your breaths shudder, your lungs trembling as you look into his eyes and realize what this means.

“Fuck,” is all Beomgyu breathes. It looks as though that it’s all he can manage. His touch grows more solid as the both of you realize that the both of you are still very much here, and so is the world. Thumb pad grazing over the softness of your cheek, his throat bobs with a swallow. You think that if you were to press your hand over your chest, you might feel it thudding there to the same thunderous rhythm that yours beats to.

So, you do. Because you can touch him. His heart sings beneath your palm, even through fabric and flesh. You can’t help the wobbling of your lip and the hot tears that spill out past your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The second touching is the bringing together of your lips. His mouth is soft and hard against yours, contradictory as the rest of him. He brings his other hand up to hold your face into his kiss. It’s not sweet and slow—it’s as ground-rumbling as the kiss between intertwined souls coming together after an eternity of being away. Each nip and lick and clash of teeth are like the claps of thunder of the storm that will end the world, his hand sliding up the back of your neck to card his fingers through the hair at the back of your head like the claws of a beast sent to ensure its end.

And, maybe Beomgyu is the beast that has come to end the world. You wonder how he’d waited so long to bring the truth to you, or if he was torn about ever telling you. What changed things, after so many years of him watching you from afar? Your engagement? Perhaps that’s what that drink in his hand had been: a thing to forget with.

It hadn’t worked. As he kisses you for all the lifetimes in which you couldn’t, you know that he couldn’t have accepted that and moved on. Of all the black swans that have lived and passed, Beomgyu must be the most stubborn and strong-willed. That’s why, out of every single life, this is the first that you touch. He would take the world on, or play with the existence of it, for this. Just for you. All for you—you’d found somebody who will do something just for you. Curling your fingers into the front of his tunic just over his chest, you pour the fire of that revelation into your kiss.

He roams his hands all over you, mapping your shape. You kiss and kiss, lips tugging and twisting against each other, and still it isn’t enough. Bracing a splayed palm over your lower back, he does not stop kissing you even as he lays you back onto the ground. The flooring is cold against your burning body. He supports his weight on one hand beside your head and straddles your hips to do nothing but run his fingers through your hair and just kiss you. 

Only when your lungs are too hungry to ignore does he free your mouth. His soft black hair dangles over his starry eyes as he looks down at you with them. Lips swollen and smeared with you, his chest heaves. Bringing his free hand up, he wipes your wet cheek.

“Oh my god,” you say, breathless. “Beomgyu.”

Pressing his forehead to yours, he laughs. “I like when you call me that. I think I want to make you scream it—scream it until they come breaking down your doors and see that we are each other's. Until your fiancé hears it.”

Body bursting at the seams at the prospect, you nod frantically and dip your face into his neck to dust starry kisses there, too. He shudders. “I want it so bad. Can you please?”

“Of course I can. I’m going to make love to you, okay?” He pushes off you, crawling back so that he’s sat squatted just before your knees as you pin them together. “Open your legs, princess. Show me how pretty you are—I’ve waited so long for it.” He pats on the outer side of your knee.

Thrill spiraling up from between your thighs like sparks, you oblige slowly. You let your legs fall open for him, and choke on your own heart as he begins to slowly work your dress up the expanse of your legs, and then your thighs, baring to him the plush and unseen skin there. He eats it up wildly, his eyes gone ravenous and even blacker.

“I’ve never done this before,” you say, voice trill and unsure. “I don’t know what to do.”

A wicked grin cracks over his features. “I know, princess.” The fabric bunches at your thighs, now. You tremble with the stifling anticipation. “I’m going to take care of you. It’s going to feel so good—I’m gonna make you feel so good. I have so many things I want to do to you. Lifetimes of things I want to make you feel.”

Doe-eyed and laying your trust in his hands, your thighs twitch and you nod. He reveals your cunt at last, finally catching the glistening sight of it for the very first time. And, he does not disappoint. The look that washes over his face—the twitching of his lips, the tightening of his jaw in a flickering muscle, and the fire razing your cunt in his eyes—is something so dreamlike, but lucid nonetheless.

“You just lay down and let me help you. Treat you how a princess should be treated.” He works on his pants, silver belt clinking and then loosening, and then he’s just as exposed as you when his length pops free. It’s hard already, tall and pretty like the rest of him, but pink and obscene at the tip. He leaks from the little slit at the top. “Look at you. You look like you want to taste it,” he says, laughing while collecting the liquid to pump himself a few times. “Next time, baby. I’d love to see the proper mouth of the world’s princess choking on my cock.”

The air is cold against the mess between your legs. It sends a chill up your spine—or maybe that was the crudeness of his words. You suppose you should’ve expected nothing less from him. When he goes to climb back over you and line himself up with you, your thighs twitch and try to snap shut.

He pins your hip to the floor. “Don’t be shy, baby. I wanna see that pretty pussy. It’s not fair to hide it from me.”

“Sorry,” you say, cheeks burning.

Taking that hand and sliding it up behind the back of one of your knees, pressing that thigh up to your torso, he laughs a teasing laugh down at you. “Don’t say sorry,” he says. He holds his length adjacent to your slit and then begins to slip up and down the length of it. “Just let me fuck you. I need it so bad.” He hisses in tandem with you. The drags of his length, harder than how you thought a cock might feel, is like undiluted liquor. “I can’t believe this… shit, princess. I’m about to fuck you. I thought I was going to have to sit here and watch you by his side.” 

You take your lip into your teeth when he pushes in. It stretches. You bring your hand up to cup the back of his neck and the other to dig into his tunic, mewling softly.

“It’s okay, princess. Hold on to me, you can take it, right? You cunt was built for me. Everything about you was made for me. Your heart, your pretty hands for me to hold, your sex, all of it. Do you feel how I fit right into you? How I was made to?”

You do. When he finally is balls-deep, his cock nestles exactly where it should. Not an inch too deep or an inch too scarce. The two of you were sculpted by something holy, fit just for each other. “Yes,” you breathe.

He can’t even linger sitting still  in you. He begins pulling himself out, all the way until the tip of him threatens to pop out lewdly, before shoving back in right up against that spot. He doesn’t even have to search for it. Head falling into your chest, he licks and bites. “The taste of you,” he says. Then, he presses his tall nose right over that spot in your neck where your heart’s gone wild. “The smell of you.” Wincing, he lays into you with more vigor, hips slapping against your skin. “The feel of you. You drive me up the fucking walls. How was I ever supposed to live without this?” he says. “I refuse.”

Your belly begins to tighten in a way that you’ve never known. Tears prick the corner of your ears, clinging to him as he fucks you into the floor like he’ll never have to opportunity to have you like this again. The wood cradles your back and the back of your hips, receiving each of his thrusts. You curl your toes and will back the lewd cries that threaten to spill over with each.

His voice is taut and wobbly. “Feels good, huh? I know. It feels… so good.” Dropping your thigh to cup your face, he says, “Cry. Cry for me. I said I wanted you to scream.”

Face burning and squirming against the hardwood behind you, you shake your head. “I can’t, gyu…”

“Yes you can,” he says, face twitching. “I want you to start letting it out, or I’m gonna stop. Do you want me to stop?”

Covering your face, with the back of a forearm, you grit your teeth through each punctual and yet sloppy grind up into you. Your bodies sweat and meld, and you’re sure that anybody walking by your quarters would know just by the hollow smacks of skin and grunts that you’re fucking a man. You, an engaged woman, are letting the prince turn your brain inside out.

But, there is nothing you want less than for him to stop. So, you let your mouth drop open and allow the sweet mewls to come with each rut.

“There we go. Louder.” He braces himself, digging his feet into the floor, and then he really starts driving into you. Sparks fly in your belly—each yellow and glowing and scalding. “Do I need to fuck you harder? C’mon, louder, princess.”

Thighs squeezing his hips so tight that they ache, you squirm. You struggle against your sounds—turning from sweet moans and mewls, you groan and gasp and your voice breaks. Each collision of your bodies breaks your sounds.

Curling your fingers into his silken hair, you grit out, “H—hoooh fuck, Beomgyu, Beomgyu, I feel… like…”

Bangs sticky and his eyes growing wilder, he knows something you don’t. The knowing, taunting grin on his mouth says enough. “Let it happen. Don’t fight it.  Just stay—stay right there, and I’ll give it to you. No running from it; it’s gonna feel so good.” His muscles go taut, and he doubles down on his efforts, panting through his nose and his neck sheened. He drops his head into your chest. “Fuck. Fuckkkk, I love you so much, princess. Thank you—thank you, so much.”

You don’t know why he’s thanking you. You don’t have the cognitive function to worry about that. Your mind has gone to two things: the growls and whines that rumble and tear from his chest, and the frightening tightness that only goes more dangerous. Your chest tightens—it feels as though, if he feeds that hungry beast gnawing deep down in your belly with any more of what he’s doing now, it will snap and take you down in its wake. Warbled cries crawling up your throat, you arch your back up into his chest to try and dig your hips into the floor, away from the bliss and the power of it.

“No,” he says, cursing. “No—don’t run from it. Don’t… Baby, please take what I’m giving you. It’s gonna be alright.”

Pushing back on the dark throes of the tide as it creeps up over your shoulders and sends shocks through your body, the hair on the back of your neck rising with the effort, you choke. Beomgyu takes a hand down the seam of your bodies and rolls your aching clit. They’re succinct and intentional—pressure right on the sensitive underside, sending your belly rippling as he pairs it with a few more sharp, more meaningful thrusts.

You see white. It’s white and hot. You are the sun, beaming and writhing like stardust. You curve off the floor once more, raking nails down the lengths of his back. Are you even making sound? You don’t know; you can’t hear it past the ringing piercing sharp in your ears. You shake beneath him, cunt gripping him frantically with flutters of your walls. 

He grunts, voice strained and shaking as he begins to follow his own release.  “Holy shit—look at you. You’re so f-filthy. So pretty, cumming on me.”

You bare each brush of his cock against your still twisting walls, trembling as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your thighs jump and your toes curl, and it’s all too much, but not enough. He needs to come tumbling over the edge right along with you—if he comes with you, it doesn’t seem so hard. You chant his name, smooth voice gone hoarse.

Stilling inside you, he whines, “Shi—it.” A war wages behind his eyes for a long second before he slips his cock from you with a wet, squelching pop, strings of your release breaking as he lays his cock on your belly. His stomach goes tight, and with one last slide of his length, slick with your mess and staining your belly, his cock jumps. He shoots all over your skin, pretty glistening spurts like ribbons a milky white. 

He sits back on his haunches, slowly rubbing himself off to give you some more and come down. Your room is quiet now, aside from your heaving chests and the buzz of something new in the air. Letting his head fall back, wet strands of spiky black hair dangle around his neck, a bead of sweat catching light as it rolls down it.

“Feel okay?” he says, looking down on you with softened eyes. He pulls cloth from his pocket, unfolding the fine fabric, and he wipes himself off your belly.

“I’m okay,” you tell him, leaning into the palm he cups your cheek with. “I’m okay.”

He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “The world didn’t explode, did it?” he says.

You share a stolen laugh with him, feeling every last honey wave receding from the spot between your thighs. The world hadn’t ended, and yet, in every way, it had. Savoring the abated rises and falls of his chest and the content sagging of his shoulders, your belly tightens anew. 

What happens now, when everything else has been a lie? When you don’t believe that you can survive that lie for any longer?

❆

So many hands work on you. One of your ladies in waiting laces you up in the back, and another works on your hair even while you stand, and one bounces a wintry, snow-kissed rouge over the plush of your cheeks. 

Yesterday, your world changed. And today, you’re expected to go on living in it.

When Beomgyu slipped out from your room last night after hours of holding each other under the covers, indulging in your ability to touch, you let your heart crack in two. You shouldn’t have. Why had you let yourself think that it was going to end up anything other than like this? You, getting prettied up to be sent away with your expecting husband, and the dreams you’d let build up to the clouds in the prince’s arms all shattered on the floor at your feet.

What else can you do? Loving Beomgyu freely is out of the question. Your parents would laugh right in your face, or maybe lock you away and make even more sure that you never get to see him again.

You try to burn the image of his eyes into your memory. Black, big and round and cunning all the while. You commit the broadness of his shoulders, and the pretty straight line of his nose in profile, and the pink plushness of his lips, and the little freckles you’d discovered yesterday, and the sound of his voice in your ear, and the feel of his touch on your skin, too.

“We’ll leave you until it’s time to come collect you,” a Lady says, bowing at the waist to you as the others finish up, tying the fastening of your dress up quick and sprinkling their final touches over you before following her out.

Your room goes utterly quiet. More quiet than it’s ever felt.

Dragging your limbs over to your bed, you let yourself fall onto it despite all the care they’d taken to get your skirts right. Resting your cheek to your palm, you let your eyes fall closed as you memorize the feel of your own bed, too.

When you flutter them open, there’s something peeking out from the pillow across from you. You furrow your brows and reach for it.

The paper is folded up with haste, torn from the edge of somewhere else and scribbled on with a quick hand. How long has that been there, without you noticing? Pushing yourself up from the bed, careful to at least maintain the smoothness of your hair, you unfold it.

ℳ𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝓉 𝒮𝑤𝑎𝑛 ℒ𝑎𝑘𝑒. 

Your soul comes back to life and seeps through your bloodstream. Sitting there for a few moments, idle at the largeness of what you’re about to do, you loose a breath. 

And then, you curl your hand around it, shove yourself up in a flurry of white, crystalline skirts, and you go.

The curious faces of the palace hands you pass do not stop you, nor does the morning’s bite as you find your way outside, nor does the almost-slip over ice, and absolutely nothing else stops you as you run. Is he still going to be there when you make it?

God, please let him be there. Don’t let this be almost.

Fists full of the abrasive fabric of your skirts and darting by barren bushes and trees, you do not stop until you clear the little tree line and the lake stands vast and frosty ahead of you.

When Beomgyu spots you, and you spot his figure against the background of the lake crisp in the morning, the sweet cooing of the birds and the rest of the bustle falls away. None of it compares.

“You came,” he says, dragging his feet through the snow until he’s right in front of you, his features elegant once more in the clear morning haze. “I didn’t think you would.”

You reach up to dust away snowflakes resting on his hair. It’s an excuse to touch him—that’s all you find yourself wanting to do, now. Brows pinching, you say, “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just… was scared.”

“No, no, I came,” you say, feeling now the bare expanse of your arms. You run your hands up and down them. Heart in atrophy all the while feeling full just being here with him, you add, “Why did you want to meet here?”

The world is serene for a few long moments as he just looks at you, his gaze searching. “Don’t marry him. Don’t leave with him.”

You know where he’s going with this already. Letting your dress fall from your hands, the one they’d fashioned you in to do exactly that, you say, “And do what?”

“Be with me. Marry me. Be my wife,” he says, the lines of his face solemn. “Let’s elope and find a corner of the world that’s just ours, so that we will never have to hear another word from them again. Let’s just… be together. Finally.”

Chest swelling with something so hopeful that it’s painful,  reality comes with its pin point and pop it. “Is that really what you want? You’ll take me, even though I’m promised to somebody else?”

His lip curls as though the thought were detestable. “What the fuck is a dowry to this? To the approval of the fates? The world could try snuff that fact out with whatever they’ll try, and a man could offer your parents a dowry of all its money, and still, you’d be mine. No matter what, our souls belong to each other.” His hand is frozen against your cheek. He’s been out here waiting for you for so long. “I’d take you, promised to another man. I’d take you no matter how you are; in a thousand different lives, I’d have you each time.”

That’s all you need to hear: that you are cherished for more than just your nature, but for yourself. That he loves you unendingly and undyingly, and all you have to do is leave by his side. You’ve already left it all behind—thrown any attachment to the wind, because truly, what is that to this? You don’t know where you’ll go, and you think Beomgyu hasn’t a clue either. But you’ll find that somewhere together. 

Together, your half sings. His answers with a thrilling beat.

“This time,” he says, eyes blazing with conviction. You know he feels the tug, too. “We got it right.”

﹙⋞ ﹚... back to the 𝓂asterlist

✎୭ ashlynn's note MY SHAYLAAAAA. MY SHAYLAAAAAAA!

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[agui-chart]

🦌Happy holidays / Merry Christmas… 🦌 and happy birthday to me! ☺️

This year has been amazing 🥹 I've met so many lovely people, I'm still learning to love myself and sharing it with all my loved ones but I am older, wiser and happier thanks to you ❤

Thank you for being there for me and supporting my silly art

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I JUST learned that Christopher Lee collaborated with metal bands and produced a couple albums, including a heavy metal Christmas album, including a metal cover of Frank Sinatra's "My Way," with Christopher Lee doing vocals. And he did so in his 80s.

And also that's my guitar he's holding 😭 Obviously not that specific guitar, but pictured is a classic black Dean ML, and my baby is a black Dean ML 79 Limited Standard with a full pick guard. My favorite electric I've ever owned.

To anyone else who was living under the same rock as me, I hope this information brightens your holiday season a bit as it has mine.

[honeyhae-svt]

🍪last christmas - y. jeonghan☕

y. jeonghan x gn!reader

december with seventeen ! 2/13 tags: jeonghan x reader, jeonghan fluff, seventeen fanfiction, holiday au, ex au, christmas love story, fluff, bittersweet love, exes to lovers(?), happy ending, romance, reader insert, cozy vibes. kisses (mwuah) genre: romance, fluff, christmas, holiday au, slice of life, really mild angst warnings: none (it’s pretty wholesome, so unless you have themes of anxiety or past trauma you have with past relationships, there should be no need for any major warnings) wc: 3050 (xp) a/n: 2/13 ! 11 to go =] PLAY LAST CHRISTMAS BY ARIANA GRANDE (her ver.) RN !

the festive glow of the christmas market wrapped around you like a warm hug, but tonight, the warmth felt bittersweet. the familiar stalls with twinkling lights and the scent of cinnamon in the air stirred memories you had tried to bury for the past year.

walking through the bustling crowd, you hadn’t expected to see him again. yet there he was, standing at a gingerbread stall, his profile illuminated by the golden light of a nearby lantern. jeonghan.

he looked the same and yet… not. his long coat flared slightly with the evening breeze, and his hair fell in soft waves, framing his face perfectly. for a moment, you froze, unsure whether to approach or slip away unnoticed. but as if he could sense you, his gaze shifted, locking onto yours.

“y/n,” he said, his voice carrying easily over the noise of the crowd. there was no mistaking the surprise—and something softer—in his tone.

you managed a polite smile, your heart doing an unwelcome flip. “hey, jeonghan.”

“it’s been a while,” he said, his lips curving into a small smile as he stepped closer. “how have you been?”

“good,” you replied curtly, though the word felt hollow. “you?”

“better now,” he said smoothly, and you could’ve sworn his eyes sparkled with mischief, just like they used to. “how’s your sweet tooth holding up?”

your brows furrowed, and then he nodded toward the gingerbread stall. “remember how you used to drag me here for those cookies?” he asked, his smile widening at your obvious surprise. “they still sell them, you know.”

“you remember that?” you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

he laughed softly, a sound that felt like a warm breeze in the cold air. “of course i do. i remember a lot of things.”

the weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment, you both stood there, caught in the push and pull of shared history.

“want one?” he asked, gesturing to the stall. “my treat.”

against your better judgment, you found yourself nodding.

minutes later, the two of you were wandering through the market together, gingerbread cookies in hand. the conversation was light at first, filled with comments about the stalls and the crisp winter air. but every so often, his gaze would linger on you a moment too long, and you’d feel the familiar tug of emotions you thought you’d moved past.

when you stopped at a stall selling handcrafted trinkets, your breath hitched. this was the same stall where jeonghan had bought you a small snow globe last year—a delicate thing with a tiny couple standing under a snow-laden tree. you still had it, tucked away in a drawer because you couldn’t bring yourself to throw it out.

“y/n,” he said softly, pulling you out of your thoughts. “wait here for a second.”

before you could respond, he’d slipped away to speak with the vendor. moments later, he returned, holding a small box wrapped in festive paper.

“what’s this?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“just open it,” he said, his smile soft and almost… shy?

you hesitated but eventually unwrapped the box. inside was a tiny ornament—a snowflake carved out of wood, intricate and beautiful. your chest tightened as you realized it was from the same vendor who had made the snow globe.

“i saw it and thought of you,” jeonghan said, his voice quiet. “you used to love snowflakes, remember?”

“i… yeah, i do,” you murmured, running your fingers over the smooth edges of the ornament.

“i know i messed up last year,” he said suddenly, his tone turning serious. “but i’ve been thinking a lot about us, about what went wrong. and if there’s even a small chance you’d let me make it up to you, i’d take it.”

you stared at him, his words leaving you momentarily speechless. the market buzzed around you, a blur of lights and laughter, but all you could focus on was him—the sincerity in his eyes, the vulnerability in his posture.

“it’s not that simple, jeonghan,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “we can’t just pick up where we left off.”

“i know,” he said, nodding. “i’m not asking for that. but maybe… we could start fresh? as friends, even. just… give me a chance to prove that i’ve changed.”

his words hung in the air, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of hope—small and fragile, but there.

“we’ll see,” you said cautiously, though a small smile tugged at your lips.

jeonghan’s face lit up, and he reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. “that’s all i’m asking for.”

as the snow began to fall softly around you, the festive glow of the market grew even more magical, with each snowflake dancing in the air before settling on the ground. the cold, however, was beginning to bite, and you shivered slightly, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

jeonghan, noticing your discomfort, glanced down at you before shrugging off his long coat. "here," he said, draping it over your shoulders before you could protest. despite the warmth of his coat, you could feel the chill on his face, his breath visible in the cold night air.

"you'll freeze," you pointed out, though you couldn't deny how nice it felt to have something warm around you.

he smiled, though there was a slight tremble in his voice. "i'm fine. i've survived worse."

the two of you continued walking, your steps crunching in the snow, your arms brushing occasionally as you moved together through the market. you glanced over at jeonghan, but he seemed lost in thought, his gaze far off, distant. you weren’t sure what to make of the silence between you two—whether it was comfortable or uncomfortable—but before you could dwell on it, you felt his hand brush yours again. this time, it lingered for a split second, just enough for a jolt of warmth to shoot through your fingers.

your heart skipped, and you looked up to see him looking at you, his eyes momentarily soft. he cleared his throat, breaking the spell. "cold, huh?" he muttered.

"just a bit," you replied, your breath puffing in the air.

you continued walking, but there was a newfound tension between you, something unspoken but palpable. the moment lingered, filling the air with a subtle kind of anticipation.

when you reached a hot cocoa stand, jeonghan stopped in front of it, his hand reaching for his wallet. "hot chocolate?" he asked, voice light again, as if the brief moment of vulnerability had never happened. you nodded, though you couldn't shake the feeling that he was trying to keep things casual.

"let me at least be useful for once," he said with a small chuckle as he handed over the money, his eyes still carrying that same mixture of humor and regret.

you raised an eyebrow. "you're always useful," you teased, though the joke felt strangely hollow in the moment.

he smiled at you, but there was something wistful in the way his lips curled. he handed you your cocoa, and you both stood there for a moment, sipping in comfortable silence, the snow continuing to fall around you like soft whispers of the past.

as you both stood there, the cold seemed to settle deeper, the warmth of the cocoa barely enough to chase it away. your eyes flicked to jeonghan, who was rubbing his hands together to warm them up. without thinking, you reached for your scarf, unraveling it from your neck and holding it up between you.

"here," you said softly, your fingers brushing his as you pulled him closer, wrapping the scarf around his neck. his breath caught for a moment as you tugged him gently toward you, your fingers grazing the soft fabric of his coat as you adjusted the scarf to fit snugly.

jeonghan's eyes widened, a flicker of surprise flashing across his face, but it quickly softened into something more tender. "you sure?" he asked, his voice low, almost shy.

"yeah," you replied, your voice barely a whisper as you let the scarf rest around him. you couldn't help but notice how close he was now, his warmth mixing with yours in the cold night air. his breath mingled with yours, and for a heartbeat, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you.

he smiled, his eyes softening as he met your gaze. "thank you," he murmured, the words carrying more weight than they should.

you swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest. "no problem," you said, voice barely steady as you pulled away, but not too far. "just... don’t freeze, okay?"

he chuckled, the sound quiet but full of something unspoken. "i’ll be fine with you looking out for me."

you both fell into a comfortable silence, walking through the market side by side, the scarf between you like a quiet promise.

as you two wandered further into the market, the atmosphere seemed to shift—quieter, more intimate. the noise of the crowd faded, replaced by the soft crunch of snow beneath your feet and the gentle hum of christmas songs playing from a nearby speaker. the air felt different here, as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you.

you found yourself under a canopy of twinkling christmas lights, their soft glow reflecting off the snow and casting a warm, golden hue around you. everything felt more magical in the moment, as though the lights were pulling you closer together.

you looked up at the lights, your heart beating a little faster, when you felt his fingers brush against yours. at first, it was a simple, fleeting touch, but then his hand lingered, and he gave a gentle tug, silently asking for you to hold his hand.

your breath hitched, your pulse quickening as you turned to meet his gaze. his eyes were soft, but there was something deeper there—something almost unreadable, like he was waiting for you to make the next move. his fingers curled around yours, steady and sure this time, as if he was no longer afraid of what this moment might mean.

you didn't pull away. instead, you let the warmth of his hand seep into yours, your heart fluttering in your chest. the world seemed to hold its breath as you both stood there, a thousand unspoken words hanging in the air between you.

"y/n," he said softly, his voice low, as if he was testing the weight of your name on his lips again. "this... this feels different."

you nodded slowly, not trusting your voice, but the feeling in your chest told you everything you needed to know. this was different. this moment, under the soft glow of the lights, was something new. something more than what it had been before.

he squeezed your hand gently, as if reassuring himself that this was real. "i'm not asking for much," he continued, his words soft but filled with sincerity. "just... just a chance to make it right."

you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. the world felt small, just the two of you, and for a moment, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—this was the start of something different.

you didn’t pull away, didn’t say anything more. you just held his hand, the connection between you both deepening in the silence that followed.

as you both continued strolling through the market, the twinkling lights overhead creating a soft glow around you, a new sense of ease seemed to settle between you. the tension from earlier, while still lingering, melted away with every laugh and playful comment shared between you two.

you stopped in front of a stall selling christmas hats, each one more ridiculous than the last. jeonghan picked up a red reindeer antler headband and placed it on your head with a dramatic flourish.

“perfect,” he said with a grin, stepping back to admire his handiwork. “now you’re ready for the holiday season.”

you rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest couldn't be ignored. you swatted playfully at him. “you look ridiculous,” you teased, picking up a matching pair of antlers for yourself.

“i look festive,” he shot back, adjusting the antlers on his head like a crown.

you both burst into laughter, your giggles mixing with the sounds of the market. it felt so easy, so light, like the weight of the past year had been temporarily forgotten under the glow of the christmas lights.

after a moment, you wandered over to a stall selling tiny christmas trees, each one covered in glitter and tinsel. jeonghan picked up a small tree and handed it to you with a wink. "for you," he said, voice filled with mischief.

"seriously?" you asked, raising an eyebrow, but your heart melted a little at his thoughtfulness.

"it’s a little tacky," he admitted, "but i think it suits you."

you rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "you really know how to pick gifts," you teased, cradling the tree carefully as if it was precious.

he shrugged with a grin. "i try." then, without missing a beat, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. "merry christmas, y/n."

your heart fluttered at the unexpected gesture, and you laughed, a bit flustered. "you’re gonna make me sick with all this sweetness, jeonghan."

"that’s the point," he said, smiling that trademark mischievous smile you couldn’t help but fall for.

as the night grew colder, the two of you found your way to a hot cocoa stand, where jeonghan insisted on paying again. "this is the last one, i swear," he said, handing over the money with exaggerated seriousness.

"i’ll hold you to that," you teased, accepting the warm cup he offered.

as you walked together, sipping your cocoa and watching the snow fall gently around you, it felt like time slowed down. there was something magical about the night—the way his hand brushed against yours again, the way the air was thick with the scent of pine and cinnamon, the way you felt so incredibly... content.

eventually, the two of you found yourselves standing outside your apartment building, the night winding down but neither of you quite ready to let go just yet. the lights from the building cast a soft glow on his face as he turned to you, still holding your hand.

“well,” he said, his voice soft, “this is it. i guess i’ll have to walk away from all this magic.”

you couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto your face. “you know, it wasn’t so bad, this whole christmas thing.”

he laughed, but there was a hint of sincerity in his eyes as he reached into his pocket. “i had a feeling you might say that.”

he pulled out the small ornament, the snowflake from earlier, and handed it to you with a soft smile. “maybe we can try again next christmas… or sooner,” he said, his words carrying a weight you hadn’t expected.

you blinked, your heart skipping. you hadn’t expected him to say something so vulnerable, so hopeful.

he stepped closer, his eyes searching yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. just as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours with that familiar tenderness, you surprised him by closing the gap yourself, pressing your lips softly to his.

he froze for a moment, eyes wide with surprise, but then he kissed you back, slow and gentle, the warmth between you building with each passing second.

when you pulled away, your foreheads resting together, he smiled, his eyes filled with something that was almost shy. "i’m glad you decided sooner," he murmured.

you smiled, your heart lighter than it had been in so long. "me too."

“stay?” you invited him softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. you noticed you were still wearing his jacket, the warmth of it oddly comforting, as if it was a silent invitation. you turned away slightly, a bit shy, as if giving him the space to decide, but your heart raced with hope.

“it’s christmas tomorrow,” you added quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of it lingered in the crisp air between you.

jeonghan couldn't help but smile at that, his eyes softening as they met yours. “of course,” he said, his voice low and tender. without hesitation, he stepped closer, his fingers gently tilting your chin up, his touch warm and reassuring. then, as if there was no need for further words, he leaned down and kissed you again.

the kiss deepened, slow and sweet, a promise wrapped in the soft press of his lips against yours. you melted into him, his hand resting on your waist, pulling you closer as the world outside faded into the background. everything that had led up to this moment felt like it was meant to be. when he finally pulled away, you were breathless, cheeks flushed, and your heart pounding in your chest.

somehow, the two of you ended up on your couch, his back against the cushions with him sitting beneath you. you were straddling his lap, his arms around you, holding you close. the space between you was filled with warmth and tenderness, like you'd both found your place again.

your voice was small, a quiet murmur as you rested your head against his shoulder. “don’t give my heart away again the next day,” you whispered, the words familiar and haunting, taken from a song that had once felt like an echo of your past. last christmas i gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.

jeonghan chuckled softly at that, the sound warm and full of affection. he tilted your face up to look at him, his eyes full of sincerity. “i never gave it away,” he said softly, his voice filled with conviction. then, as if to make sure you knew exactly what he meant, he kissed you again, his lips pressing against yours with a tenderness that left you breathless.

when he pulled away, he kept his gaze on you, his hand resting gently on your cheek. “it’s still in my heart,” he whispered, his words like a promise.

you smiled, feeling the warmth of his words settle deep within you. maybe this christmas would be the start of something new—something real, something lasting.

you leaned in to kiss him again, this time with a sense of peace and certainty. you were home, and this time, you weren’t letting go.

a/n: 2/13 ! i update everyday on 10:30 am (our timezones might be different though :]

december with seventeen ! - masterlist

[textsfromsuperheroes]

Texts From Superheroes

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