#christ pratt

[artist-issues]

BAM SURPRISE you are the head writer at Disney or whatever (the entire corporation for all their companies and movies, not just Disney animated) for one week and anything that you do during that time cannot be changed/altered later. What are you doing

Oh geez

Okay, besides torching all the sin-affirming stuff they do—

I would mandate that no more Live Action Remakes be made. Like, ever. I would cancel all upcoming sequels. I would force only Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar Studios to work on new animated films coming out—no utilizing the studio in Vancouver or outsourcing the work to AI or Japan or anywhere outside the U.S.

I would do that in the hopes that the animators who understand our specific culture would be forced to meet the challenges posed by new projects, instead of taking computer-generated-AI shortcuts to solving hard-art problems. And, when they make a movie that takes inspiration from other cultures, it forces them to learn about those cultures, themselves. Then, when they make movies, their unique American-in-Fill-in-the-Blank-Culture perspective adds depth, flavor, and my favorite thing, earnestness, to the design of the movie.

Next! I would hire Chris Sanders back. I would pay him literally anything he wanted. Probably by selling all our holdings in Marvel, because Marvel is dead as a doornail.

With that cash flow I would also LOWER THE PRICES TO GET INTO DISNEY WORLD AND DISNEY LAND. The prices get lowered. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care if the whole company goes belly-up because I did that; I would drop the prices considerably to get into the parks. And to get Resort Packages. And then I’m jacking up the prices for the overseas parks.

Know what else I would do? Fix the Yeti in Expedition Everest, add the Hatbox Ghost into the Haunted Mansion, and blitz social media telling everyone about it. While I’m there I’ll make a post about how we’re destroying Genie+ and the Lightning Lanes. Utterly gone. Nobody gets to purchase cut-in-line time slots. Everybody waits in line together. Because guess what, forcing the normal-people line to completely halt while you let traffic from the gave-up-my-firstborn-to-purchase-a-faster-line-experience line go first every three minutes is CAUSING the wait times FOR BOTH to get LONGER, tricking people into purchasing “faster” line experiences that are actually still horrifyingly slow, and ruining the already-overpriced day for everybody involved.

Ahem.

Meanwhile, we’re getting that money back, because I’m putting Chris Sanders on a brand new project; he’s going to pitch me two ideas. One idea is all his own, it can be anything he wants. The other has to be an adaptation of The Firebird fairy tale. But he can be as liberal as he wants with the details, like he was for Beauty & the Beast.

He gets to direct his own, obviously, but since directing two projects would be really hard, I would bring in Roger Allen and Rob Minkoff to handle The Firebird.

Once we have the money, I’m funding four new projects in Disney World. The first is, Pizza Planet is becoming the new restaurant at Disney Springs.

The second is, the Rock n Rollercoaster is getting replaced by Phineas & Ferb’s coaster—just in time for the new season to come out on Disney+!

The third is; Avatar: The Way of Water-themed Resort which connects to the park, but guests may only cross over into the theme park during special After-Hours, when regular guests have had to leave because it’s closed. But it would be over the water, and have its own water park.

There are those indestructible glass windows making holes in the floor and the sides, and the rooms are all suspended over real water (with carefully-constructed foliage so that even though it feels open to the air like in the movie you actually have complete privacy, nobody can see into the rooms. And we’ll add curtains for the faint of heart, whatever) The windows in the floor double as screens which you can turn off or on; if the screens are on, a randomized animated loop fools the eye so that every once in a while, Avatar characters and marine life swim by or interact with guests.

Fourth thing in Disney World: additions to all the lands they’ve hobbled together in the last twenty years.

For example, New Fantasyland gets a Tangled ride where you’re following Rapunzel’s hair trail through the environments of the movie, and you and Flynn Rider are trying to catch up to her; but at certain crossroads the people in the vehicle can choose between multiple paths for your ride vehicle to travel down. This way, you and your party can be racing one another, so there’s an element of competition like there is in Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin.

Also! Galaxy’s Edge gets walk-around droids, two new hangout-style open-air restaurants, and an elaborate playground area made up of of nets, rope courses, and simple alien animatronics like you’re exploring a Resistance Base that was constructed by Ewoks.

Dinoland U.S.A. Is scrapped (except for the Dinosur Ride which is relocated) to make room for The Pridelands. You heard me. You thought I was going to say Zootopia, but no, that’s not jungly enough for Animal Kingdom.

The Pridelands has another the-most-elaborate-playground-in-the-world section, which is huge and sprawly, and full of things like fake tunnels which connect to the hollow skulls of elephants in an elephant-graveyard section, with screens made to look like windows that peer down into the geyser-bubbling lair of Scar. And of course there’s a Pride Rock, but it’s made like Rapunzel’s tower, so it looks far away in perspective, and occasionally an animatronic Zazu hops out onto the ledge, looks around, and hops away, or Simba prowls out, roars, and backs up out of sight again. Like a giant incredible cuckoo clock.

There are three rides to start with. One is a zany Timon-and-Pumbaa ride/game where you’re basically doing the Space-Ranger-Spin thing, looking for grubs. Another is a rollercoaster called “Escape the Stampede” and you’re basically hurtling along as if you’re galloping just ahead of the wildebeest in the gorge.

The third is a walkthrough of the events of the film, but with Avatar-level-advanced animatronics and hyenas come lurching out from behind things to snap at you.

The Pridelands has two restaurants; one is counter-service and it’s called “Timon & Pumbaa’s Grub Hub” and it’s all pasta bars, and Mac-n-cheese, so you can pretend you’re slurping up grubs if you’re a kid. The other is a reservation-only restaurant made to look like the beautiful forest Timon & Pumbaa live in, with built-in waterfall features and a ceiling that changes color and lighting effects to look like a starry sky or a dazzling sunrise depending on the time of day. It’s very atmospheric and the idea is to go on dates there. There’s also live African music.

And we’ll relocate the Festival of the Lion King here, too.

I’d also make a video game that is open-world and online-multiplayer, like Destiny, BUT it’s an elaborate retro-futuristic world with its own story based on Tomorrowland. The story would be impacted by what the players all around the world choose to do in-majority, and I’ll have three or four different routes it can go—but the main thrust of the game’s long, ongoing plot is a metaphor for the hard, passionate work of being innovative versus the dangers of cutting corners to make a profit in the name of “progress.”

For our Live-Action Department, they’re going to be working on a new series of Westerns based loosely on Big Thunder Mountain. It will be a trilogy, and it will star Matt Lanter as the hero, villain-character played by Chris Pratt, and Tim Allen (Tim Allen is Matt Lanter’s estranged father.) When they’re done with that they get to make a Space Mountain movie starring Letitia Wright. That’s what our Live Action Department gets to work on—original dramas based, if anything, on our original theme park attractions that nobody else in the world has.

And for our television studio, Tom Bancroft and his brother Tony are hired to make an animated series called “Escape Schism” and it’s about a young girl who discovers she has the ability to escape her dystopian-future world by jumping through television screens into movies. Each movie is a loose parody of iconic movies in the real world. The catch is, she can only stay in those movie-worlds for one day, and she can only take one object from the movie-world back into the real world after each visit. Other characters include the little brother she’s always trying to protect from the dystopia of their reality, and her older sister who works as a detective for the evil corporation that’s functioning as the government.

It’s lighthearted, it gets great views.

Then I’d hire @doverstar to make a series on Disney+ as a sequel to Lilo & Stitch: the Series. It can be Stitch & Ani.

Then I’d put the guy who did The Lion Guard in charge of Disney Junior, spearheading two new shows—one is a show about Robin Hood and Maid Marion’s life before the events of the animated movie, and the other is an original show called “Gift Shop” and it’s about a gift-shop owner who is actually a fairy godmother, and has to figure out the exact-right gift to give the fairy tale characters who stop by every once in a while. But it’s told from the perspective of her pet owl, Dusty.

Aaaand finally I’d completely destroy the Haunted Mansion movie in favor of a new, three-part television-film, (like the ones they do on SyFy) told from the perspective of the Groundskeeper. In this treatment, a young man named Kyle is terrified of really making the most of his life because of a fear of failure. He made one big mistake and it cost the family their ancestral home when he was a senior in college, and he can’t get over it. He becomes groundskeeper of the Haunted Mansion because of the exorbitant amount of money offered to do the job, thinking it can help him buy back the family house. Instead, he encounters the Hatbox Ghost—who enlists the new Groundskeeper’s help adventuring to break the control Constance Hatchaway has over the 999 Haunts living there. The Hatbox Ghost and she used to be in love. Kyle has to help them solve that in order to free himself from the position as Groundskeeper—but he thinks there’s something the Hatbox Ghost isn’t telling him.

While we’re at it, I’d remake Wish and The Rise of Skywalker. Because nobody can undo what I’m doing but I can undo what they did, right?

[crazyintheeast]

Probably the worse thing that could have happened movie wise to Chris Pratt was starring in the Mario movie alongside Jack Black because his entire success is solely due to the image of a fun,easy going,talented ,great guy Park and Recreation gave him. Except he is none of that. He is tightly wound religious and political extremist with the world’s thinnest skin. Meanwhile Jack Black is a fun,easy going,talented great guy and just by his presence you can see how short Pratt falls

[queen-daya]

25 Days of Christmas Moodboards

[hashashafashasha]

The reason Christ Pratt was so good in The Lego Movie is because Emmet is meant to be the most boring, least special person possible, so Chris' "White man" voice worked well for that. He's bland, and that's what he's good at. What he's not good at is playing one of the most important characters in the history of media, who's spoken lines are particularly important to his character. Mario is so endearing because he's just a lovely little italian man, and I would never trust Christopher Pratthew to do a compelling "hahooagagagaga"

[nimblix]

its makover time

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Best Films of 2023

Well! 2023 has come to an end and what a tumultuous year it has been for the entertainment industry. There were some shake ups on release dates and some films were shifted to 2024 for a number of reasons. Whether it was because of the massive SAG-AFTRA and WGA strikes or because the films were rushed, it didn't stop a crop of good films from coming out in 2023. This years' list may not be as long as others, but it is still my pick for the very best Hollywood had to offer. As always, if you want a more detailed review of all the films on my list, just click the title of each film. Now, without further ado, here's my list of the best films of 2023!

John Wick 4: There are very few films that start out as a small, simple, and almost as an underdog. The original film came out of nowhere with minimal promotion and it grew into becoming one of the greatest action film franchises of all time. From beginning to end, this film was a finale that incorporated any and every from of martial arts, gunfoo and even paid homage to classic samurai sword fighting. It was thrilling all the way through and a surprisingly emotional end to something that only happens once in a lifetime. Keanu Reeves is now one of the greatest action stars of all time and I hope this franchise stays gone on this high note and never revisit it.

When Evil Lurks: As a horror fan, you get many recommendations a year and a healthy helping of so many films. Alot of them stick to a familiar formula, but end up being nothing you haven't seen before by the finale. I'm always looking for a horror film to keep me on the edge of my seat with anxiety, wonder, nausea from the imagery and above all, terror. This film Argentinian film did that in spades. The thought of giving the possession genre a more biohazard twist and sticking to the rules that were set was refreshing and loved every second of it. This film ripped the safety net out from under you as it plunges you deeper into the dark and grotesque nightmare. What a magnificent horror film.

Oppenheimer: Lets face it. We all wanted to see the great Christopher Nolan tackle the subject of an atomic bomb and to see it detonate through his specific IMAX lens. We got that, but what we also got was a truly haunting and sometimes disturbing examination of man that became one of the most genius and destructive minds in human history. The fact that we delve into the titular characters’ life, the events preceding, during and following the effects of his creation was truly mesmerizing. We got to see the emotional and psychological toll it took on the brilliant scientist and all the others that wanted to be apart of that historical moment. The court drama that ensued was fascinating and gave a face to true villain and an outstanding supporting performance from Robert Downey Jr. This was truly one of the best dramas of the year and one that I'm glad to have experienced in its full 3 hour IMAX glory.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse: With the surprise the first film was, you would be hard pressed to deliver something on the same scale or better than the awesome and stylish origin story for a character that really wasn't embraced in the beginning. The story may have taken some familiar turns with Miles Morales in the beginning, but to open with Gwen Stacey / Spider-Gwen and to go through the emotional journey between her and her father was amazing. The team behind the ground breaking animation has done it yet again and mixed in the use of water colors, inks and other forms of animation from different nations. It was a sight truly to behold and nothing short of an art gallery in every frame. The intensity of the story going from a kid trying to find his place in the universe to defying all by doing his own thing was great and frustrating at the same time. This film has one of the best cliffhangers in cinema history and I can't wait to see how this story comes to a close.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: Few storytellers get the honor of finishing their stories unhindered by outside influences. Even fewer get the chance to end a trilogy the way they intended and with a through line that keeps paying off the more you revisit each entry before the conclusion. The Guardians films started off as the outcast heroes that nobody knew anything about and as we fell in love with this ragtag team, we got to see them become a real family. The emotional origin story of Rocket Raccoon was in the seams of Vol. 1 and 2 and it now comes full circle with one of the best performances of Bradley Cooper's career. The High Evolutionary made for an excellent villain that is also a brilliant commentary on the state of a certain company that is seeking to execute the same plans of reconstruction in its many cinematic properties. You can look deeper into James Gunn's brilliant writing and directing and his message was clear. The Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy ends on such a sweet and powerful note that many have not reached in so long and I am so glad the actors, production team and many others fought for James Gunn to complete his vision. Definitely one of the best films Marvel Studios has released in years!

Evil Dead Rise: There truly is something magical happening with this series of films. It seems that everytime we get a new entry to this franchise, somehow they keep getting better and better. The 2013 remake was gnarly and stayed true to the franchise roots and this film does the same by staying small and personal. The story was simple, but the creative scares and intense violence was top notch. The tension was so great and the choice to make it about a family is always a welcomed touch. Just the possession process of the mother alone was horrific and sad. The film progressed and I was very impressed with the practical gore effects and stunt work. Alyssa Sutherland gives an impressive and devilishly gleeful performance as Ellie and definitely is up there for me as one of the best Deadites ever. Sam Raimi's franchise legacy is in very good hands.

And now we've come to the moment you've all been waiting for. For me, this choice was a no brainer and truly broke all the boundaries many films wouldn't pass. The best film of 2023 is.......

Poor Things: Right from the beginning, this film set its own path and delivered its own take on the coming age story. The unconventional take on the story element of woman birthed of scientists' experiment was something that could've gone horribly in the wrong hands. It’s handled with care and it was truly breathtaking to experience the mental growth of a child in full grown woman's body. Emma Stone was challenged to colour outside the lines by creating a character that discovers her own path recklessly, analytically and with an open mind that was not afraid to challenge societal norms and ideals. She had the best dialogue to make a meal out of and I was never not hungry for more as I was anticipating her reactions. Mark Ruffalo was on another level of joyous vanity and comedy all mixed into one. This is the most energetic, uncompromising and pompous character I've ever seen him portray and he makes you actually care about him by the end of the film. The vocal dance between both Bella and Duncan was the most interesting part of the film and their chemistry was volcanic. The dance sequence was one of my favorite scenes. This was truly the best film of the year for me and I highly recommend this metaphorical dark comedy to any and all that want to see a showstopping cast at their very best.

Alright folks! That was my list of the best films of 2023! It was an interesting year for the horror genre and to end on a such a high note with one of the most unconventional coming of age stories was a treat. Do you agree with my list? Let me know what you think or tell me what your picks of the best films of 2023 are in the comments below. Thanks for reading and here's to 2024!

[pastriibunz]

CHRIST PRATT.

[starlordamn]

Peter Quill / Starlord x Reader

Summary: Drabble about Peter being a jealous boyfriend!!

Warnings: Jealously, fluff, slightly steamy at the end (if you squint).

Word count: 400ish

Peter Quill. The Starlord. Gets. Jealous. SO QUICKLY.

Last time you stopped off somewhere to retrieve an item from a seller, the guy got a bit too friendly. You didn't read into it, nor did you play along but to Peter, the thought that someone else thought they had a chance with you sent something through him. He'd genuinely never been that angry before. Nor had be ever been THAT RUDE to a seller before.

"Yep, all done here. We'll be on our way." He nodded sternly to the guy as he snaked an arm around your waist, his wrist wresting on your lower back, applying some light pressure to signal your leave.

"Thanks again," you politely smiled and turned with Peter, item in hand about to be pocketed. Before you could spin a 360 and be on your way the seller caught your attention again.

"If you ever find yourself here again, you know where to find me, hm?" An eyebrow raised and a sultry tone was enough to not only make you pull a face and turn away, but it was enough to be Peter's last straw. Within a second a blaster was pulled from his hip aiming at the guy, without a second thought he'd pulled the trigger sending a blast towards him.

"Fucking hell Pete.." you gasped as the guy shuddered before a loud thud following his descent quickly to the hard wooden flooring of his shop.

"He's not dead, just knocked out." Peter rolled his eyes.

"You're jealous."

"No, I'm not."

"You are." You exclaimed, nearly back at the milano by now.

Peter stopped in his tracks for a second, it looked like he was thinking. "God you're just so gorgeous everyone wants you, it gets on my nerves."

With your face flushing you smiled at the compliment, but also in amusement - Peter really thought you'd ever choose anyone over him, and that just wasn't the case.

As you got back to the ship, Quill took a moment, turning to face you. He cupped your cheek with one hand, "I'm not jealous, you're mine."

His thumb caressed your bottom lip and you nodded in approval as he hummed waiting for a response.

"It's always gonna be you, Pete. My Starlord."

[troublezoey]

💙❤️ 🍄 ❤️💚

[lovecametomeindreams]

I was trying to draw Staci Pratt and flopped so hard I started drawing JC for clarity 😭

[mikeystrawberry]

guysssssss tiny baby Garfield oh my god he’s so tiny

[zerothisnero]

Pizza tower movie but Weird AL voices pizza head and Chris Pratt voices Peppino

In today's essay I will-

[high-quality-tiktoks]

the man cannot help himself unforch

[bretzkysbs]

[pressforwardsaints]

The Blessings of a Proper Fast

[demonstars]

they should've made donkey kong and mario fuck in that movie